I know there are plenty of people who might like to dress up their pets. But come on, this is ridiculous.

Just because teaching a dog physics might work on Wallace and Gromit, doesn’t mean it will work for you. And even if it does, it doesn’t mean your pooch will go into engineering.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you’ll avoid getting on a Missing Persons report. Because a lot of people who disappear usually do. That or be declared dead.

However, it’s said the process is very tedious from the description. Then again, people in the 18th century believed in a lot of crazy shit.

Of course, having food on you and fuel in the tank might help. Then again, why would anyone want to cook on their car. Wouldn’t that mess up the engine? Seriously, it’s only going to make your mechanic happy.

Fortunately, this isn’t a children’s book but a travelogue about a woman’s interesting conversations with strangers over the years. However, I have to admit, she really sucks at selecting titles.

Uh, this book is supposed to take place in Russia during the Napoleonic wars. Also, I don’t think it has a nude scene involving two women either.

Also, Jesus doesn’t seem to have any hard feelings about being crucified on the red planet. Which begs the question, how do Martians have access to wood? Because Mars doesn’t have any trees.

So this guy thinks that teenage girls act like bitches? Really? He should know that this doesn’t describe teen girls 100% of the time. Really, it doesn’t.

Yes, this book was written by a plastic surgeon. Still, I think they could’ve handled the subject better. For instance, the author could’ve had Mommy get a tummy tuck because she was suffering from severe lower back pain. Or she had been heavily scarred in a car accident. This book really sends a terrible message for kids.

From Mental-Floss: “Genghis Khan was a busy guy, and he was never able to find time to open a dental practice in between building an empire. This book still suggests that dentists should be taking a page from his book.”

It’s actually a historical novel about a Revolutionary war heroine on the frontier. And it involves her running to her brother’s home to fetch more ammo to a fort. Definitely not a heartwarming Christmas story.

Also, that woman should have more of a space suit on. Because showing skin in space is a really bad idea. Seriously, skin exposure is a very easy way to die in space.

I heard the chapters on sex trafficking and STDS are very informative. Seriously, prostitution is a terrible profession.

Yeah, that guy really seems to love his old tractor. Maybe even more than his family. I don’t know. There’s something not right here.

Because I don’t see any mother truckers here. Just some bikers and a couple guys in their underwear.

Then again, “Gay Traders” probably got passed the censors easier. But to me, it’s more of a shower orgy than anything.

No, I don’t think Camelot looks like a rough planetary surface with a large moon. It’s supposed to look like a fairy tale medieval kingdom for God’s sake.

I know this book is supposed to be about enhancing creative thinking. But this title is just so fucked up. The freaky photo doesn’t help either. Sorry, but I don’t think a self-help book cover is supposed to give me nightmares.

Yes, this book exists. And I really don’t want to know what’s in it. Really, I don’t think there’s a lot of sex stuff you can do in the back of a sedan.

No, I don’t think the Emerald City is supposed to look like that. Doesn’t seem very green to me.

Seems like they’d promote yoga to just about anyone these days. What next, Yoga for Horses?

Because massages should relieve stress for almost anybody. Even pet rabbits. Seriously, this is ridiculous. Really.

Sure it’s about African animals. But why the hell does its title scream the worst fucking idea ever? Seriously, it’s a very stupid way to die.

Sure she may not be his cheeseburger in paradise, but she’ll do. Seriously, I expect that title to be on something to do with food. Not romance.

Yeah, these devotional books for teens can have very stupid titles. Yet, I would’ve thought a kid struggling to get their locker open would be more appropriate.

I don’t think Whiskers is amused by the finger puppet you made from his fur. In fact, he’s kind of freaked out by it.

From Mental Floss: “Instead of blowing thousands dollars on surgery, Dr. Donald L. Wilson suggests that increased breast size can be achieved through the power of mindful thinking. The contents read more like soft-core erotic poetry than a self-help guide. One noteworthy line reads, ‘You look up at the sky, and you see a white cloud formation in the shape of your breasts which reminds you of how perfect your breasts can be.'”

Still, given how “dick” has so many unfortunate meanings these days, this cover is unintentionally hilarious. Yeah, get your mind out of the gutter.

Now it’s one thing to be doing extreme stuff like bungee jumping or climbing. But ironing? That’s just ridiculous.

I know this is supposed to be a medical story book. But the goat’s placement is very freaky to me. Seriously.

This garbage basically advocates gay conversion therapy, a practice everyone knows is basically harmful and demeaning to people. But if you’re gay, you don’t have to struggle with it. You just have to accept it as part of who you are and come out o the closet. Because there’s nothing wrong with being gay.

No, I don’t think Chicago is a barren desert since it’s in the Great Lakes region. Also, it’s kind of flat.

Wait a minute, the English landscape doesn’t look like that. That’s seems like something you’d see in the Rockies.

What the fuck, Scholastic? This book looks like it’s about a kid who hung himself! Seriously, this is bound to traumatize children!

Look, guys, if you don’t like your girlfriend’s cat either put up with it until it dies or break up with her. Because many people see killing your girlfriend’s cat as a major relationship dealbreaker.

I wish tell Lorraine Peterson that she really needs a better cover designer, considering the titles. How about God calling out lotto numbers?

Sorry, but I don’t think Daisy Miller was a desert dwelling kick ass assassin. She was probably some turn of the century society woman whose parents made her participate in some institutionalized gold digging.

Of course, everyone knows what Big Bill’s big lie is, which he’s been telling everyone for most of his adult life. Yeah, probably should be pulled from the children’s section.

This picture seems like it was taken straight off from some book about the Napoleonic Wars. Or the War of 1812. Not sure about the color of these uniforms.

From Mental Floss: “This is one of those pressing questions the Bible, the Torah, and the Qu’ran all neglected to answer.” Apparently, the ridiculous cat books seem to be endless.

It’s actually a collection of 1871 British pamphlets. “Dorking” here might mean either market in South London or a 5-toed domestic fowl. I’m not sure which.

Yeah, I don’t think teenage girls should have Harlequin romance fantasies. Sparkly vampires would be more age appropriate.

Really? Do we really need a book on how to poop on a date? Can’t just going to the restroom be good enough?

Learn how to make meals such as 3 headed sheep, Chernobyl casserole, China Syndrome chicken, and Westinghouse salad. Dishes might cause radiation sickness though.

While Rebecca does have some romance, it’s not exactly what I call a romance novel. Mostly because I don’t find Manderley an ideal romantic setting. Quite the opposite.

This cover is more suited for a business textbook than a Jane Austen novel. I don’t think the Dashwood sisters are pros at customer service.

Hell, even having a Nazis or a swastika on the cover would be more appropriate than a domino set. This doesn’t set the right mood.

From Mental Floss: “In the days before hypochondriacs could be satisfied (or spurred on) by a quick WebMD search for symptoms like “stiff elbow” or “sore ankles,” Spinal Publications New Zealand Ltd. and physical therapist Robin McKenzie released a handy paperback guide to self-care for all neck-related problems. Reviews of the book range from “highly recommend!” to a warning that some of the exercises might be “quite harmful” to those with pre-existing arthritis. Exercise caution when reading.”

This looks like something that’s straight out of a men’s rights activist’s nightmares. Seriously, feminists don’t usually hate men, they just hate how the male-dominated system treats them.

Believe it or not, this was the original Hooters girl costume design. It was rejected for obvious reasons.

No, there weren’t any naked women riding on horseback in this book. This painting has absolutely nothing to do with the story.

Look, if a classic doesn’t have a naked lady in the text, don’t put one on the cover. People might mistake it for something else, adolescent boys in particular.

Seriously, we all should know that Cthulhu is more of a menacing sea creature than anything. Why they put a skull, is anyone’s guess.

Makes it hard to believe that this story inspired Bladerunner. Yeah, the cover makes it seem quite lame.

However, do we really need an image of a guy playing grab ass? That’s disturbing.

Of course, when it comes to deer, one of the best ways to control their population is to shoot them. Natural predators exist for a reason, people.

At Saint Vincent, I thought my chemistry in daily life class would be about stuff like this. Turns out, it was about nutritional content, specifically what chemical inbalances lead to Type II Diabetes.

I can imagine that this might be a rather useful book. But would anyone want to use it? It’s literally full of shit.

It’s a historical novel based on events centering around the Ohio River Valley in the late 18th century. Focuses on a guy who dedicated his life on Native American destruction and protecting white settlement. Not anything cuddly.