Here am I in my University of Florida Gator snuggie I received from an uncle of mine who lives in Panama City, Florida. Sure it’s not appropriate for summer weather. So I only wore it for the photo. Then again, considering that the University of Florida doesn’t have a lot of cold weather, this Gator snuggie is perfect for my opening post picture.
As I said before, college sports is a huge business in the United States despite that practically all college athletes don’t get paid in any tangible currency. Sure they’re supposed to receive an education from the school. But plenty barely have any time for that, particularly if they’re Division I. Nevertheless, since college sports are incredibly popular, it should surprise nobody that you’ll find a lot of college sports crap if you look hard enough. Yes, I know that colleges make money from ticket sales, tuition payments, contributions, and the like. But as long as there are people willing to buy overpriced crap, they might as well reap in the benefits. Besides, in college sports, it’s usually the brand that’s more important than the players since they’re only in the programs for up to 4 years before graduation anyway. Hell, some don’t even graduate if they become eligible for the pros (despite that this doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, there’s a strong chance they may not be nearly the star player they once were in their college days. Just ask Heisman winner Tim Tebow). Nevertheless, I can go along with showing you all the jerseys and other items they sell. But you’d probably be bored with it. So instead, I’ll show you items that might make you scratch your head since few would even consider buying something like that at all. Most of these items are from Division I schools naturally.
- Take your little one to the big game with this purple and gold LSU stroller.
Not sure about you. But I don’t think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It’s not very kid friendly environment and they’d probably be whiny the whole time.
2. This Penn State bar counter is perfect for tailgating at Happy Valley.
That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it’s not worth it.
3. This Oregon hoodie allows you to carry a beer bottle in your pocket.
However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.
4. Sing the blues when your team loses with this WVU acoustic guitar.
Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won’t lead to calling the fire department.
5. No LSU fan’s home is complete without a Tiger toilet seat.
This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it’s made from solid wood and intricately carved.
6. Get your pet in the Buckeye spirit with this Ohio State feed bowl holder.
Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would’ve been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.
7. Have your baby show Wildcat pride on March Madness with this University of Kentucky blinky.
For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren’t worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It’s cheaper.
8. Stomp in support for your Nittany Lions with these Penn State cowboy boots.
I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!
9. This chic University of Kentucky sequin purse is Wildcat approved.
Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.
10. Ladies, show your Duck pride with this University of Oregon sequin bra.
Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don’t know if that’s worse.
11. Texas Longhorn fans will surely adore these University of Texas wedding garters.
Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don’t understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It’s crazy.
12. Light it up this summer with this geometric Notre Dame fire dome.
Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.
13. Show your Buckeye pride with these Ohio State lawn frogs.
I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That’s just a whole another level.
14. Now you can know how cold it is in Columbus with this Ohio State gnome thermometer.
I don’t know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn’t hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.
15. Put your Wildcats on your toast with this University of Kentucky branding toaster.
Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.
16. Propose to your Buckeye girlfriend with this Ohio State engagement ring.
Then again, guys, on second thought, don’t. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn’t mean you should. Because it might backfire.
17. Keep your drink at your side when watching the Fightin’ Irish with this Notre Dame hip flask.
And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.
18. Grace your living room with this stained glass Mizzou Tiger lamp.
Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.
19. Keep your basement well furnished on game day with this set of Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish bar stools.
Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it’s not as bad as with the hip flask. Great for any Irish pub.
20. Fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide will enjoy this commemorative golf set.
Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn’t mean they like golf, too. Just saying.
21. Show support for your Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium with this digital jersey pin.
It’s a pin that has an on going message saying, “Go Nittany Lions!” Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.
22. Nothing makes a night worth remembering than a bonfire in a Texas Longhorn fire pit.
Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that’s beside the point.
23. Why carry your stadium seat and cooler separately, when this USC cooler knapsack lets you do both in one piece?
Now that’s very convenient. However, you’ll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.
24. This Penn State pocket watch makes a great gift for any Nittany Lion fan.
Well, if he’s your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I’m not sure.
25. Show your Crimson Tide spirit in your truck with these Alabama University truck mats.
Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.
26. Wipe your mess clean at the game with these NCAA licensed paper towels.
Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.
27. Keep yourself warm and snug at the games with this LSU Tiger snuggie.
Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it’s kind of ugly.
28. Now you can move around with ease in this Ohio State motor scooter.
Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I’ve never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.
29. You’re always ready for tailgating with this USC picnic set.
For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn’t seem like it.
30. Now you can make your home smell like a lucky shamrock with this Notre Dame scented candle.
Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn’t make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.
31. Get comfortable watching the Panthers with this University of Pittsburgh helmet armchair.
Seems a bit high, don’t you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.
32. Make your Iowa University tailgating complete with this Hawkeye portable grill.
Then again, it might’ve been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that’s just my opinion.
33. Mountaineer fans can enjoy endless fun with WVU Monopoly.
It’s like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that’s a crazy WVU tradition.
34. Always be ready for anything with this USC Trojan toolbox.
Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don’t think it includes the kind of tools you’ll need to build a massive wooden horse though.
35. Nothing makes you more pumped for an Oregon Duck game like these tye die shirts.
I’m sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn’t say they couldn’t be sports fans, too.
36. Now you can support your Ducks in the comfort of your home with one of these Oregon armchairs.
Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?
37. It’s not a day of Penn State football without this Nittany Lion pigskin toaster.
Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you’d think it’s necessary is beyond me.
38. Keep yourself warm this winter with some blue hot chocolate from the University of Florida.
Because you’re bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance than on a beverage that might make your lips and tongue look like you’re suffering from hypothermia?
39. Step out in style in these LSU jeweled high-heeled shoes.
I don’t know about you. But I’d rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.
40. May your bathroom be a tribute to your team with this Mizzou Tigers toilet.
Now that’s one of the most tacky toilets I’ve ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That’s insane.
41. Keep your home secure with your very own Alabama Crimson Tide handgun.
Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn’t exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there’s a reason why Texas professors don’t want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever. Also, hope they don’t have one for Virginia Tech.
42. Support your college team from beyond the grave in this LSU casket.
Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there’s a demand.
43. Drink like a true Nittany lion fan with these Penn State light up reusable ice cubes.
Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don’t ask me how that works. They also light up.
44. Enjoy the great stadium popcorn taste at game day with your very own University of Kentucky popcorn maker.
Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.
45. Now you can fish with Mountaineer pride if you have this WVU fishing lure.
Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I’m not sure if you’ll find fish in there at all.
46. Keep your food nice and cool with your very own Ohio State refrigerator.
College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don’t think anyone’s buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.
47. This Christmas, make sure your kids are well behaved with this University of Kentucky Elf on the Shelf.
And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.
48. Get your drinks during tailgating with this LSU R2-D2 drink server.
To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it’s pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it’s near younger college students.
49. Keep yourself warm at Happy Valley with these Penn State heavy duty Nike gloves.
Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.
50. Make bath time so much fun with this Nittany Lion duck from Penn State.
Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear. Seriously, why?
51. Keep your wine at hand with this Iowa Hawkeyes high heeled wine holder.
I don’t understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tacky as hell, especially with encrusted gems.
52. Step out at any time of the year in this Syracuse adjustable dress.
Well, at least this one doesn’t have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What its secret?
53. Keep your hair nice and neat with your very own Florida Gators straightener.
So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn’t a regular straightener do just fine?
54. Come to the game in style with a pair of University of Tennessee sunglasses.
By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it’s crazy, right?
55. Ladies, keep yourself in the team spirit with these NCAA nail polish sets.
Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?
56. These NCAA candle warmers are just what everyone needs.
I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn’t that what a flame is supposed to do?
57. Nothing looks better on a cake in West Virginia than this WVU burning couch candle.
Now the age old WVU victory celebration of vandalism is now a candle. And there’s plenty of wax to go around.
58. Nothing looks better in a Florida State Seminole fan’s cabinet than this commemorative FSU decanter set.
Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn’t take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of inappropriate for a Seminoles fan.
59. This Penn State collectible gas station shelf provides sufficient storage space.
I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.
60. Light it up in your home with this stained glass LSU helmet lamp.
I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn’t. So here’s the LSU Tiger one.
61. I’m sure any woman Texas Longhorn fan would want a bouquet of roses like these.
Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University’s isn’t one of them.
62. Get some outdoor rest in this LSU canopy hammock.
Think I might’ve featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.
63. This Iowa Hawkeye fridge comes with a tap for serving drinks.
Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.
64. At Michigan State, Juke ‘Em is a football card game.
Not sure how this is played or whether it’s present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.
65. No Penn State bathroom should be complete without a Nittany Lion shower curtain.
Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I’m not sure if these should be on the market and I’ll just leave you at that. Of course, perhaps I should’ve kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn’t resist. Now I feel terrible.
66. This Fightin’ Irish bar sign will certainly light up a room.
Seems like something you’d see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.
67. Now you can watch your Mountaineers on your very own WVU couch.
Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.
68. Tailgating at Wisconsin University has never been so much fun than with this football helmet drink dispenser.
I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven’t featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.
69. Your little ones feel snug and warm in these Florida Gator booties.
Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they’ll ever be used on the Florida University campus.
70. Now your pooch can show support for the Tar Heels with this North Carolina cheerleading outfit.
It’s one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don’t understand.
71. Your little one can’t go to a Michigan Wolverine tailgating party without this high chair.
I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.
72. Make your place more interesting with this FSU hat and face.
Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn’t have a head for God’s sake. Don’t know why they thought it was a good idea.
73. Any Wolverine football fan will sure adore this Michigan Mr. Potato Head.
Seems like there’s a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.
74. No female Wolverine fan should go without their very own Michigan football purse.
Yes, it’s a purse shaped like a football. No, I’m not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.
75. Keep your dog safe in warm in these fleece Michigan Wolverine pajamas.
This dog seems to have this: “Kill me now” look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don’t even wear them. Besides they have something to keep them warm through the night anyway. It’s called fur.
76. Keep your kid safe in the car with this Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish car seat.
Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.
77. Get in the Christmas spirit with these Michigan State Spartan candy canes on your tree.
I’m sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.
78. Have your little one snuggle up with their very own Dream Lite Otto the Orange from Syracuse.
Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can’t really explain.
79. Have hours of Nittany Lion fun with this Penn State arcade game machine.
Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.
80. Always know where the wind is blowing with your very own Ohio State weather vane.
Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn’t even if you’re a diehard Buckeyes fan.