Seems like Slinky Dog is stretched out of shape. Yeah, I don’t think he’s in the best mood.

Handy for opening letters and packages. Also great for attacking rival gang members.

Yeah, I have no idea why they have this. It doesn’t seem to make much sense. I mean it’s duck tape. Everyone buys it plain.

Well, it certainly looks rather adorable. But I’d be afraid to use it for fear it might lead to the paint getting off of it.

Is it just me or do Simba and Nala seem to have darker circles around their eyes? Doesn’t really look great to be honest.

Uh, why’s Scar colored like Simba and Mufasa? Seriously, the color’s not right at all.

To be fair, this probably came out when Walt Disney was still alive. He was known to be a chain smoker. You can guess what killed him.

Shouldn’t it be a comb? Because Ariel uses a fork as a comb even though it’s really for eating.

Cruella and the puppies seem a bit too chummy with each other in this. I mean in the movie Cruella has the puppies kidnapped so she could make coats out of them. So why should she get along with the pups?

Yes, this exists when it doesn’t need to. I think it might be from Etsy. But it’s still strange.

Now Frozen little girl underwear I understand. But this? Uh, I think Disney’s trying t aim for the wrong demographic.

Just what I want, burgers in the shape of a mouse head. Then again, they might have more meat on them. But they might not turn right grilled.

Yes, this is a Mickey Mouse toilet paper holder. Now if only they had Mickey Mouse toilet paper.

And yes, you get a toast of Mickey’s face on it when you put bread in it. Not something I’d want in mind.

Yes, kids, pour some of this soup into a bowl, microwave it, eat it, and watch your sodium levels let it go. Because Campbell’s Mmmmm….salt.

Let’s face it, Banzai could probably take down Zazu at any day of the week. Then again, it’s been a long time since I saw the movie. By the way, Zazu is voiced by Rowan Atkinson who’s better known as Mr. Bean. Yeah weird.

Because there’s nothing more endearing than seeing a mouse with a needle. Okay, that’s kind of unsettling.

I don’t know. But to me it seems like smaller versions of himself are pinning him down like that scene from Gulliver’s Travels. Still, this is pretty weird, even by Disney standards.

All cars contain seat belts nowadays. So why is this necessary? Then again, maybe I should let it go.

In reality, Golden Age pirates of the Caribbean stank like they never had a bath in years. So maybe you don’t want to smell like a pirate, historically speaking of course.

Look, I’m a big fan of Beauty and the Beast and all. However, this thing is so disturbing that it can’t be unseen.

If wishes and dreams mean staying dry, not wetting the bed, and never having to put the toilet seat down. Then again, I don’t want to imagine how Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora went to the bathroom.

Okay, Tarzan, I know you might have certain “needs.” But can’t you keep your jerking off to yourself? It’s pretty disturbing.

Believe it or not this toy was aimed to children. But the unfortunate shape of the mouth makes it more suitable for Spencer’s more than anything.

From LOLWOT: “While this ride is likely supposed to be Donald Duck just leaning back and relaxing, when someone sits on him, it looks like he’s getting ready for something quite frisky.” Like the awkward look on that woman’s face. It’s priceless. If you think Donald’s dirty in that, you should see him in the Three Caballeros.

Okay, I was wrong. As LOL WOT says: “It’s hard to know just what this toy is supposed to do, other than make us incredibly uncomfortable. There’s a reason there’s little information available about this toy other than this picture.”

From LOL WOT: “This is a toy that is just supposed to let kids have a microphone that has some of the characteristics of Mickey. The problem is the device had a rather phallic shape that encouraged kids to put it near their mouths.”

Uh, isn’t Ariel part fish? And she’s on the package to sell fish sticks? Do you see a conflict of interest here, people?

From LOL WOT: “When it comes to this sippy cup, it’s not just the incredibly unfortunate placement of the straw, but it’s also the crossed arms and self-satisfied look on Buzz’s face that makes this such a terrible item.” Oh, my God, I guess the merchandise people at Disney didn’t think this one through in the least bit. He just seems more “woody” than “buzzed” at the moment.

From LOL WOT: “This small little toy was supposed to emulate the famous scene where the monkey wiseman holds Simba up to the heavens to show the new Lion King. Unfortunately the way the toy is positioned, makes it look like something else entirely is on Rafiki’s mind.” What it is, I really don’t want to know.

From LOL WOT: “While the Hannah Montana Concert Candy is billed as being gummies that are in the shape of guitars and microphones, you don’t have to look that closely to see the rather phallic shape of these treats.”

The fact that Pinocchio has no nose on this just makes me suspect a lot of dirty things going on. So when his nose grows does it mean he’s dishonest, horny, or both?

Yes, that’s Donald Duck as Boba Fett. Not sure what Fett’s fans might think about this. But at least Donald’s wearing pants this time.

Because there’s nothing more family friendly than a mouse that kisses his sister and blows up a space station with thousands of people inside. Okay, that’s kind of disturbing.

Well, at least they’re not stilettos. However, they don’t seem to be something a woman might wear to a formal event.

Because nothing brings fond memories like being surrounded by sharks and thinking you’re gonna die. Sure these guys think that fish are friends not food, but still.

Because nothing says Merry Christmas like lying your ass off and being locked in a cage. Yeah, Pinocchio is way more disturbing than what most people remember.

Yes, this is the kind of toilet that helps kids to let their bowels go. I know it’s kind of sick but what do you expect?

By the way, this is said to cost only about $1500. Or as I call it, “a magical waste of money.”

From Bustle: “Because your kindergartner doesn’t always have time to make it to the salon, okay?” Why would any kindergartner need this anyway? Pressed on nails suck.

From Bustle: “Just in case your kid needs to take an immediate, stylish nap in the mall, or the grocery store, or the post office…” For a moment, I thought this was an ironing board.

Now this is kind of disturbing. Because Chip and Dale seem to act like their lounging in a Jacuzzi while they’re basically being cooked alive as chipmunk stew. Doesn’t help that Dale is adding some spice to the brew. This is sick.

Really? Sorry, but I kind of prefer the experience of watching outdoor movies as something you experience on a campground on a fair weather Saturday night. This is ridiculous.

I don’t think this would look good in any home. Then again, I guess fans will buy anything.

Uh, why does Rajah have no stripes? Seriously, he’s a tiger. They are born with stripes in their skin. Apparently, the designer didn’t understand this.

How is this necessary? Seriously, I don’t understand this. Can someone cue me in on why these exist?

Okay, I understand that Hades is the bad guy in Hercules just to avoid Herc’s being illegitimate son of Zeus and a mortal named Alceme which explains why Hera makes his life hell in the original myth. I get it. But even as a Disney villain, Hades is quite likable and entertaining. This plush doesn’t really show this.

Yes, this is real. And you can get it at Hot Topic. I don’t know why it exists. But it does.

Because there’s no better way to get soap than through being pumped from a snowman’s head. How does that even make sense?

Sounds a bit flirtatious doesn’t it? Then again, Disney is very well aware of its adult fanbase. But I’m not sure about trying to cater to young men.

Yes, this toy mainly catered to boys is now outfitted with girly colors like its Barbie predecessor. Not sure why they thought it was a good idea.

On second thought, you can. Apparently, there are very disturbing things going on in the Hundred Acre Wood that we don’t see all the time. Still, this is just mind boggling to me.

Personally, I find this decal hilarious. However, it kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let it go/Let it go/Can’t hold it back anymore…..”

I don’t know about you but $1500 is an awful lot of money for a Disney Mickey cap. Just sayin.’

I’m sure your kid will be totally comfortable trying to take a dump while the toys are watching from the lid. Then again, probably not.

Yes, I get it with Disney issuing these figurines. But I’m not sure if I can see Minnie Mouse marrying and having kids with a future Sith Lord.

I know this isn’t catered to kids. But I can’t help wondering whether it’s a thong. Probably which is kind of disturbing.

Just what I want, Mickey Mouse’s head lighting up a room. What will they come up with next? And I thought a Hunger Games light bulb was crazy enough.

Because there’s nothing better than being in a coffee pot held by an octopus. And you know what octopuses do to fish Dory’s size.

I don’t know about you, but Mickey seems to look quite sinister for some reason. Then again, I tend to think he’s kind of creepy anyway.

As if I didn’t think the Mickey Mouse Star Wars figurines were stupid enough. Now they have to depict the characters as cars? Seriously why?

Well, at least Olaf fantasizes about spending summer on the beach. Too bad he’s made out of ice and snow that he’ll melt when spring comes around.

Again with the Little Mermaid promotions. I mean she’s part fish for God’s sake. Then again, sharks are also considered fish. But still.

I’m sure there are some girls who go on fishing trips. It’s just that it doesn’t strike as something associated with Disney princess fans. But at least Ariel is not on the packaging.

I’m sure he’s soon going to use that lightsaber to murder a building full of kids once he turns to the Dark Side. After all, Anakin did so in Revenge of the Sith.

Again, Rajah is a tiger. That animal Jasmine is holding doesn’t look like a tiger cub at all.

I don’t know about you. But at the angle this was photographed, it doesn’t seem to have good connotations. I don’t know if I want to divulge why.

This is him as Han Solo in carbonite. Interesting how Disney made the choice to depict Donald like this. And I’m not sure if he’s wearing pants.

Wonder what Mickey will think when he finds out that Goofy is his father and that Minnie is his sister. Only time will tell I guess.

From Smosh: “Nothing captures the feel of Frozen like beachwear. Yes, there are Frozen swimsuits. Yes, there are Frozen beach balls. And yes, somewhere someone is proudly introducing Frozen beach homes, made entirely of sculpted ice. The residence will melt away just as you pay the property tax.” Do you want to build a sand man? It doesn’t have to be a sand man. Okay bye.

From Smosh: “Despite the age of your average Frozen fan, this Elsa-inspired bridal gown is not made for children, but is instead designed for adults who probably tried to wedge their feet in glass slippers in hopes of landing royalty. The person who gets this gown is is the type of person who can’t leave behind the idea of a “fairytale wedding”, no matter how much medication their doctor prescribes them.”

From Smosh: “Remember the karaoke scene in Frozen that turned into an epic rap battle? Well, clearly someone got the unofficial director’s cut, because now kids everywhere can belt out “Let It Go” as often as they want … until there’s a rise in child abandonment cases.”

From Smosh: “When children left the theater after seeing Frozen, their first thought was probably, “I hope I can get in a quick nine at the club”. Now, thanks to this Elsa and Anna-endorsed set, kids everywhere can relive the wintry magic of the film while making important business contacts on the green! Should they snap their clubs in half after being caught in a sand trap, they can always pick up the official, and real, Frozen Bowling Set.”

What the hell? Seriously, that doesn’t look like anything practical as athletic gear. In fact, its existence defies all logical explanation.

Except that many boys aren’t really that interested in these kind of toys. Also, the earlier princes don’t have much character to them either.

Yes, Olaf is made out of snow. But it doesn’t make this thing less disturbing since it churns snow from his chest.

To be fair, this is from WWII for children in air raid drills. However, no kid really asks for a Mickey Mouse gas mask. Unless they’re a budding WWII buff.

Naturally, like the Harry Potter condoms, these aren’t licensed (thank God). But it doesn’t paint Miley Cyrus as a great role model during the late 2000s. Well, until the VMAs and “Wrecking Ball” anyway.

As far as children’s furniture is concerned, these give me nightmares. Don’t know why.

Then again, seeing Donald at a mini golf course like this might make you wonder whether he wants to murder you in your sleep. Not to be critical.

These babies look dead inside even in Disney attire. They make Mickey and Minnie seem cute by comparison.

Now I’ve heard Disney wanting to discontinue the Slave Leia merchandise which I think is stupid. Meanwhile, they come up with Slave Leia Minnie which is in some ways more unsettling. I wish someone would explain this.

These are from Japan who have a Disney theme park of their own. Not sure if I want water coming out of their noses though. Or anywhere else on their faces.

Well, these may seem harmless. But the dwarf ones have acquired a dubious reputation when you try to put a pez in them. And I’ll leave it at that.

Well, memorable for all the wrong reasons. I might’ve posted it before a few years ago. But this is just so freaky. I mean what the hell is Pooh wearing? Oh, bother.

Its scent is of tears from grown men and women. Lots of tears if you know what the movie’s about.

Funny, Buzz doesn’t seem to have much wrong with him. Then again, in the first movie he had been under the delusion that he was real instead of a toy.

These are so you can have their images on pancakes. I don’t know why people would. That’s what they do.

Really, Stitch as Emperor Palpatine? I can’t see that. I mean Stitch really isn’t evil. Just innocent and misunderstood.

For Disney princess dolls and plushies, these are utterly creepy. And no, I don’t think the Disney princess franchise is about that.

Because Disney villains are all delightfully vile in their own way. Not sure about the Frollo or Radcliffe ones because Frollo is creepy as hell and Radcliffe, well, he’s kind of lame.

Yes, Mickey has Master Yoda on his back. Yoda is training Mickey to be a jedi. Don’t really see him as one to be honest.

They just consist of his disembodied hands. Kind of disturbing in context if you really think about it.

Approve of it, I do not. Nonsensical it is. Conforming with character it does not.

Pluto doesn’t look so good. Wonder what’s wrong with him. Hope Mickey doesn’t have to have him put down.

Now there’s a mouse that can destroy an entire temple of doom. Of course, what he he has in his hand belongs in a museum.

Yes, kids, drink your beverage from oil cans like the characters on Cars. Then again, it was also featured in Toy Story.

Because even 5 year olds need a buzz during their morning commute (just kidding). Then again, I don’t think this is catered to kids.

Uh, the Mad Hatter usually prefers tea. Then again, Alice in Wonderland is supposed to be a nonsensical kids story anyway.

Yes, these are Disney swimsuits and they’re for adults. Whether they look stupid at the beach remains to be seen.