My family has been one of the few in my neighborhood who doesn’t decorate the house with Christmas lights since we’re kind of low maintenance and don’t think having a festive house is worth a trip to the emergency room (as my dad says “No way in hell”) or the money and time. However, there are plenty of people who look forward to the Christmas season so they can decorate their houses like this. Perhaps Christmas is an excuse for people to use such outlet for artistic expression and draw attention to onlookers. Some are spectacular and tastefully done while others can make you wonder if the person has more Christmas decorations than he or she knows what to do with. Of course, I can go on with bringing you light displays tastefully done but since this is the internet, no one wants to see nice Christmas light displays because well, because good yuletide lighting is so subjective so I’ll show pictures of the garish looking houses while giving you do’s and don’ts on lighting decorations even though I’m no expert on these things.
Do: Have plenty of light bulbs to spare.
Don’t: Use all your Christmas light bulbs at once.
Chances are, this guy did use them all at once.
Do: Try to please everyone.
Don’t: Just try pleasing yourself and the power company.
I’m sure the local power plant workers drive by this house knowing that its energy usage will pay for their Christmas bonus.
Do: Aim for the minimum.
Don’t: Be too minimal.
Could barely see this, even with it all lit up. Seriously, these people need a better display than that.
Do: Try to blend in with the neighbors.
Don’t: Turn decorating into a competition.
I sense a decorating war going on here.
Do: Try to be as organized with storing your light strands as possible.
Don’t: Leave your strands in a tangled mess, especially on the roof.
I guess some people don’t know when to keep going.
Do: Try to stock on Christmas light decorations.
Don’t: Have more Christmas light decorations than you know what to do with.
Seriously, I think these people have that problem.
Do: Spend time perfecting your Christmas light display.
Don’t: Do a sloppy job.
Either these people were too lazy to fix it or their light display was knocked up by the storm. Nevertheless, doesn’t look right and very sloppy.
Do: Accessorize.
Don’t: Accessorize to excess.
Jesus, how do the owners manage to get in or out? Hope they have a back door.
Do: Try to create a proper arrangement with your decorations.
Don’t: Place your decorations inappropriately.
This may be funny to look at but parents will complain if their kids see it.
Do: Be creative.
Don’t: Go beyond a G or PG rating. (Honestly, there will be kids in some of those cars.)
Santa Claus taking a whiz. I’m sure parents will complain about that. Still, pretty funny.
Do: Try to make it visible during the daytime.
Don’t: Bury your house or yard in the decorations.
Seriously, there doesn’t seem to be any room on the yard and the house is nearly buried in blow up figures.
Do: Decorate your outside trees.
Don’t: Do it without adhering to standards of decency.
Please don’t ask me what this palm tree reminds me of. Please don’t.
Do: Try to improvise if you can’t find what you’re looking for.
Don’t: Use a beer case for a manger.
Where making do with what you have doesn’t apply.
Do: Try to stand out.
Don’t: Be a distraction to drivers.
Certainly will be a distraction to drivers since it stands out so much.
Do: Express yourself.
Don’t: Have your display contain violent imagery.
A hanging reindeer from a tree with blood spurting out of it. Not a good idea.
Do: Shine and be festive.
Don’t: Blow the power grid.
This will cause a power outage for sure.
For More Tacky Light Displays:
Ugly Christmas Lights.com: http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/ – A whole site devoted to tacky Christmas displays.
One from Fairfax, VA called Holly’s Tacky Christmas Lights: http://www.fairfaxchristmaslights.com/
From Huffington Post which also has tacky Christmas Trees: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/08/tacky-christmas-lights-photos-videos_n_2260824.html
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 