Oh, wait a minute that’s another medieval torture device it seems. And it doesn’t seem that they’re weighing the caged guy against the duck either. Would’ve solved everything.

Now I’m fine with turquoise but this fridge seems more appropriate for the kitchen of some tacky trailer park, dive bar, or disco than in most households. Yet, I’m sure this woman isn’t the Snow Queen from Frozen.

I don’t know about you but it seems that not much has changed on the Jersey Shore over 50 years before the notorious MTV reality series. Thank God, that show’s over. Also, that hat is hideous.

Of course, when it comes to western way of breaking wind, some guys led out a rip-roaring gust while others emit an odor that’s silent but deadly.

Rather I think she wants to use that mango to drop on her little brother’s skull since he stole her Fruit Roll Ups. Little Stevie needs to pay.

I hope these boys enjoyed giving Mom’s petunias a golden shower since she’s probably going to wonder why they smell like a urinal in the third grade bathroom. Yes, Mom’s petunias will never smell the same way again, but they’ll get a steady supply of nitrates though. Maybe she doesn’t mind the tradeoff.

Oh, my God, I think I just made PETA want to burn my house down for posting this. Perhaps the Humane Society may want to join in. Still, what sadist could think of horses jumping off the high dive? This is just fucking insane! Also, illegal in most states. By the way, this postcard is from Atlantic City, New Jersey where Boardwalk Empire takes place. Man, seems like Nucky’s booze is really getting to them. As cruel to animals as this may be, I just can’t help laughing at it for some reason.

Now I know the people behind the picture thought this made a good photo op. Yet, the cuteness kind of fades away when you find out that there are people in certain countries around the world that eat them. Kind of makes this postcard disturbing.

Talk about low hanging fruit hanging not far from the tree. Still, this is just bound to give Freud a field day. I mean why did this woman put the pineapples so close to her boobs? Really?

So how does a dog bark a cake? Makes no sense whatsoever. Guess those behind the design were aiming for cuteness. Also, what’s in the cake? Hope it’s not disgusting.

Then again, perhaps we all should be happy that Willy Wonka became a confectioner instead of a hairdresser. Hate to see what kind of machinery he’d have at his hair salon. Probably would look like some torture chamber from a kid’s show.

Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised that prune juice is now consumed by more 1960s flower children more than ever. Yeah, prune juice will set your colon free from constipation.

Actually that’s an Elasmosaurus a large Plesiosaur from the Cretaceous period. Of course, unfortunately for this guy, orthodontists didn’t exist at the time.

Of course we all know that Snowflake would be kidnapped by psychopath ex-football player and tranny Ray Finkle (disguised as Lois Einhorn). He also kidnapped Dan Marino as well as killed a man in his apartment. And in the 1990s, this was a family film or so I think. At least it was in my house.

Yes, that croc on the beach is in the mood for some bootylicious rump roast tonight. Also, what’s with the monkey fishing from the pelican’s beak for God’s sake? That’s insane!

I think there’s something wrong with this girl here. Sure she might want her sister to drop in again, but she probably wants to drown her in the fountain and hide her body in the large vase.

Wait a minute, that’s in Oklahoma? Seriously, lobsters are an oceanside crustacean caught in fishing boats from Maine. Oklahoma is an inland state known for cattle, dust storms, and tornadoes. They do not go together.

Of course, “blowing” also has another meaning explaining why this postcard is so funny. Of course, it’s probably impossible to do and I can’t mention it in front of the kids.

Now a bar overlooking a giant fish tank is one thing, but this is kind of ridiculous. Might also make the patrons wonder whether they’re seeing things or just need another drink. I’d hate to be the designated driver in that bunch.

Too bad the holidays are over for this lamp would’ve made a great Christmas present for my next door neighbors. Then again, that lamp might freak out their granddaughter.

From the back: “Figurette—the home slenderizing unit that has become noted as a “lasting beauty” aid for women…but is every bit as much renowned for the tension-relieving relaxation it helps induce in he-men. Another leading product of A.R.A. Manufacturing Co., Grand Prairie, Texas.”
“It is very important that the he-man not become too relaxed. Therefore, he should use the Figurette with work clothes on, including shoes and tie.”  I wonder what would happen if he got too relaxed. Oh, I see.

Of course, seems that the company responsible for this photo didn’t seem to care about the boxes next to the humongous dog that might give parents nightmares. Please don’t show this to small children or they’d want one, too.

I bet that any dog owner would rather teach their dog to go on the toilet than have it drink from there. I wonder if this potty animal knows how to flush.

I don’t know about you but wait until she finds out that you can’t put tupperware in the dishwasher. Boy, I’d hate to wash dishes at that place.

Must be that the oven doors have no windows in them and that there are two of them. Still, that color may be nice but the stove is hideous.

Okay, that’s just a guy getting mud bath at a spa. Still, you’d wonder if this was just some crazed garden store of death seeing him like that.

Ugh! This lamp is so frilly and pink that it makes me sick. And I don’t mind the color either. Still, I don’t think a little girl would find it settling that the figurine doesn’t have any arms.

My God, this is just a horrible execution that it seems like something you’d see on the Flintstones. Also, makes you wonder whether Cain killed Abel because God thought Abel’s sacrifice was greater or that Abel was making fun of Cain’s leopard skin loincloth.

This cow doesn’t look like it’s saying, “Howdy!” Rather I think it’s trying to say, “They’re going to kill us all and put us on buns at the local burger joint! Get out while you still can!”

Then again, this model seems a bit chunky compared to the ones you’d see in a Victoria’s Secret commercial. Still, close enough. Nevertheless, it’s also available in lime green.

Of course, given that the Gay Rights Movement adapted the rainbow flag as its symbol, I don’t think a church choir would call themselves, even if it’s the United Methodist Church.

Now that just can’t be safe for animals. Seriously, I wonder if either of these dogs would have the patience of staying on these seats. Besides, what if one of them jumps?

Now I’m sure this person is making the man look all natural as if he was part the dirt from which he came from. Still, this is pretty disturbing if you ask me. I mean these people look as if they’re buried alive for God’s sake.

Of course, the women at the Florida beach you actually see probably aren’t as attractive as these ladies. Seriously, fellas, believing this postcard will set yourself up for disappointment.

Of course, I’m sure these people are smartly dressed for some formal fancy dress ball. Yet, I don’t think they’re very convincing. Still, don’t want to see these in your mail.

Of course, I’m not sure what to make out with her holding a small sombrero that doesn’t fit her head. Still, no girl wants get a postcard from their boyfriend that says, “Wish you were her.”

Of course, the hat and picnic table cloth don’t help matters either. Still, this is probably the original Grumpy Cat. And boy, is he grumpy about his flight being cancelled. Now he’ll have to change travel plans which he hates oh, so much. Yes, polydactyl cat is not pleased.

I don’t know about you but that formation doesn’t at all resemble an ice cream cone to me. Yet, I think Ice Cream Cone Formation was more of a PG name than, well, something else that’s point and stick up. Even funnier is that they have replicas of this at the gift shop and that’s where the real fun begins.

Of course, what’s worse is that this high school is called Medicine Lodge and it’s located in Kansas. Must have a Native American mascot, too, and a real stereotypical one at that. Great (sarcasm). Still, love those comet pom poms.

All Mark Twain ever wanted for his birthday was either a chair rocking or a rocking chair lap dance with Huckleberry Finn. Still, the two seem a bit too friendly with each other.

Sure that contraption may stabilize your neck but putting that chin rest on your shoulders just looks very uncomfortable from what I see with the other one.

Yes, Louis Pasteur did help change the world for the better as well as saved so many lives with his research. But that doesn’t stop him from testing his anthrax vaccine on his daughter’s pet bunny rabbit.

I know bear cubs are cute but feeding the animals is a very bad idea. Seriously, feeding them will lead to animal infestation at camp sites as well as make them easy targets for hunters. So please remember that signs warning against feeding the animals exist for a reason.

“Guys? Have you seen my horse? Guys, this isn’t funny. Seriously, somebody’s stolen my horse, Dobbin. How am I supposed to participate in this routine if I don’t have my fucking horse? My apologies for the profane language.”

“It keeps me cool and in tip top shape. Also, I hate to change into something different when I need to hide a body right away. You simply don’t have time for that after you strangle a guy in the hot tub these days.”

Okay, PETA is going to kill me for this. We all know the grizzly bear is a hunting trophy and the swimsuit woman is only there for the fanservice. Still, pretty funny if you ask me.

Man, all I see are basically roadways on a flat landscape. Even a transportation worker is bound to fall asleep on these toll roads. At least Western Pennsylvania has hills, forests, and potholes for God’s sake. Yet, you wouldn’t want to drive on those roads either.

Wonder if I should get those for my mom so she wouldn’t fall asleep watching movies with us. Probably would fall asleep anyway. Still, I don’t think this guy is very comfortable with the chin straps on him.

Because before she had a water softener in her house, Connie had get her plumbing clean on a regular basis due to the metal cation buildup that makes hard water less compatible with soap and resulted in her pipes erroding. Hey, it was Joey’s idea to live near an industrial facility where he worked, not hers.

Man, for an activity that should have big, “Do Not Try This at Home” disclaimer, seems that some people find alligator wrestling quite boring, indeed. People like me just find it nuts. Then again, while the boys are bored to tears, seems like Mom just thinks the handler has a nice tight ass.

This drama is called “Florida Aflame” which is about the Seminole Indians. Still, I wonder what a real Seminole Indian would think of this production because I think he or she might take offense. Seriously, this seems to be something I’d more likely see in a Lady Gaga music video than on an Indian reservation. I mean why?

“All right. Now where did I put my chair and my cat o’ nine tails? I know I put them here yesterday. Must’ve been swept with the tide tide. Dammit.”

I know that mega churches do a lot of activities. But I’m stumped is to how many of them could include a rocket ship in their budgets. Seriously, why?

I don’t know about you but upon seeing this picture, I kind of feel like calling the Humane Society regarding Rover’s welfare and whether Bobo is a good owner outside his creepy clown costume. Because the poor dog looks so terrified.

Poor Ralphie. Seemed to be a nice and happy kid before Dr. Garity gave him that terrible lobotomy. Now he just looks as if he’s just a mindless and possessed demon child with no soul.

Putting a dog near a gun: yeah, seems like an accident waiting to happen. And I’ve seen Bowling for Columbine to know that canine photo ops with guns aren’t a good idea.

Sorry, but whenever I see a big fish mounted like that on a plaque, that’s all I think about. I could just hear that fish sing, “Take me to the river, Put me in the water….”

Of course, from what I can read from their facial expressions, I don’t think auto maintenance is the first thing on their minds right now. Also, “change the oil” has another meaning that doesn’t come across people’s mind if you know what I mean.

This is probably a false killer whale which is also used in aquariums and kept in captivity. However, unlike the Orca, there are no campaigns concerning the captivity of these creatures since they’re not studied as much and have a population that’s much more endangered. This may especially true in Hawaii where they’re most frequently seen. Still, hope that woman doesn’t come from a sorority and is sober.

“Yes, Gladys, I’ve electrocuted Harold in the bath tub by throwing my hair dryer. So how do we dispose of his body without the neighbors suspecting?”

Switch to what? Is this a postcard depicting animal predation or kinky bestiality? Seriously, who thought this kind of postcard was a good idea?

Basically the idea of this room’s design came from the person who really liked the color green and so painted all the walls that way. The decorative ideas came from his 6 year old daughter. God, that’s tacky.

Of course, they mean the 1890s here, but including the word, “gay” is pretty funny. The back says: “While you dine, you’ll enjoy entertainment amid the stage settings of old vaudeville. The ad curtain, drapes and chandeliers are from opera houses of the Old West. Fireplaces, furniture and decorations once graced Tacoma’s showplace homes of the 80’s.” Well, 1880s. Still, what the hell are can-can dancers doing here? They’re supposed to be French!

This is a poster of the Aquamaids (perhaps Aquaman’s lady entourage) from Florida’s Cypress Gardens. And yes, they’re on this postcard for the fanservice. Still, the gardens are pretty enough so putting these women water skiing kind of unnecessary.

Okay, now I know that there are a lot of Roman Catholic priest and monastic orders that wear white robes and that the White Fathers order started in France. However, if it weren’t for the rosaries around their necks, the cassocks, and showing their faces, I would’ve taken them as some kind of white supremacist organization. Also, these monks look kind of creepy.

Okay, this is part of a display in a religious tourist trap called Bibleland. So it’s not a velvet painting. Still, did this artist get the idea of how this work seems more appropriate at some sleazy nightclub? Seriously, why did that person think a black background was a good idea?

Is it just me or is there something phallic about that barrel cactus? Seems like the Lord works in mysterious ways. And sometimes He creates floral scenery ideal for postcards too inappropriate to mail to your grandparents. Nice to see God has a sense of humor, maybe of a 13 year old boy.

Of course, Sparky has no trouble with focus and concentration. That is, unless he spots a squirrel or piece of meat. Then it’s just downhill from there.

As if the old guy chasing the nurse was bad for a postcard. What totally baffles me about this is how this guy has casts on all his limbs yet he’s still perfectly able to chase that big boobed nurse in the first place.

Of course the sign says: “It’s no mirage-It’s real snow.” Sure it’s real snow, like the snow they have at Seven Springs during the winter when there isn’t any elsewhere. Seriously, there must be a snow making machine somewhere.

Of course, everything is bigger in Texas, even egos and religiosity. Seriously, if Texans knew that the Last Supper took place where they live, they would’ve undoubtedly boast about it like there’s no tomorrow.

Still, you have to respect the creativity in how people in the Middle Ages used to torture people. Yet, that guy will certainly be in a lot of pain after he goes through it and if he survives.

Or the place where Bobby was sent after being caught in that house fire that looks like where you went to high school. Seriously, this resembles a AAAA high school where all the preppie kids went to.

Of course, this is the perfect valentine to send to your girlfriend if she greatly enjoys the Terry Gilliam animations from Monty Python. Also, is that a feather winged polar bear?

Yeah, because nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” than a turkey’s inevitable demise to the receiving end of a Pilgrim’s blunderbuss.

Apparently the people of Chicken’s Rock don’t seem to be having a Merry Christmas this year as seen by the landscape of despair and desolation that would make someone with Seasonal Affective Disorder want to jump off and drown themselves.

Then again, I’m not sure why her rag is up her skirt or why it’s doing there. Oh, that’s her leg isn’t it? Still, it’s kind of sexually suggestive if you know what I mean.

Note the phallic imagery with a firecracker and I’m not sure if this postcard is referring to a man’s love as it is about a man’s sexuality. Still, if a man’s “love” fizzles we may have Viagra for that but men, you might want to consult your doctor first.

On the back it says, “May your new bundle of joy become a faithful servant of the master race. Heil Hitler!” Of course, what do you expect from a postcard with a Nazi swastika that now denotes anti-Semitism and white supremacy?

Of course, if Charlie Brown did this with Lucy more often, then maybe she would’ve let him kick the football. Then again, she’s into Schroeder so that might be sexual harassment at that point.

Then again, maybe comparing women to cars isn’t a good idea. Also, many guys would say the same about their actual cars. Still, this postcard is pretty sexist especially with the boxes containing “twin exhausts” and “power steering.”

Oh, I meant the kind of deodorant where it’s applied with a ball. Still, anyone who’s old enough knows the joke on this one is. Sorry, boys, but your grandfather joked about balls as well.

Wonder what their history is and why is she on the guy’s lap if she’s not his wife? Then again, the guy may be lying about not knowing her.

Man, did it suck to be a black guy in those days. Even the dog waiter is being treated better than he is. Also, I hope it’s ground meat and not something I think it is.

Still, I wonder what happened to their son Amster Damm. Nobody seems to hear about him despite the song. Also, I’m sure May B. is becoming kind of a flapper.

Let’s just hope it’s just some idiot who wants to ride one. Seriously, I have a bad feeling about this postcard, which suggests something depraved.

Still, if these dogs need to pee, then why the hell are they waiting to use the tree. I mean when a dog has to relieve itself outside, it just does it, no ifs, ands, or buts. Besides, they also use fire hydrants.

Of course, I’m sure the town of Intercourse sells a lot of merchandise. Yet, I’m positive it’s not because people like their Amish country. May have more to do with the fact the town has an unintentionally dirty name. Yes, there’s a real town called Intercourse, look it up.

I’m sure any adolescent boy who views this is just going to be terrified out of his mind, instead of titillated. Then again, he may be both.

Still, what people may find cute one generation, others may find disturbing during the next. This boy is sure going to have his whole life ahead of him with his lungs full of tar.

Still, this reminds me more of a 18th century Jimmy Cagney about to sing “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” than the sage at Monticello. Nevertheless, this is a terrible wax representation of an American Founding Father.

“Hey, cheer up, Gladys, with all this booze, this could be your lucky night. When a guy is loaded, he thinks any girl is attractive. Trust me, that’s how I met my husband in Vegas.”

I’m sure it wouldn’t be that fun to pose with these bears if they weren’t shot and mounted as hunting trophies first. Still, I’m sure you couldn’t get away with these photo ops nowadays or PETA would be all over your ass.

Still, knowing that these skiers are wearing red shirts, I have a good feeling that neither of these ladies will ever see them again. We all know what happens to redshirts during these planet scenes. Also, why are those women wearing swimsuits indoors?

I’m sure that clock is just an antique that only Dick Cheney could love. Still, the “Schnitzelbank” reminds me of an Animaniacs sketch for some reason.

Let’s just say that if you live in a town that’s desperate for tourists, putting a beautiful bikini clad model on the local postcard will sure solve everything. Yeah, right.

Or as we know these undergarments, “spanx.” I’m sure we didn’t call them by that name in those days but spanx have been around for so many generations. And your grandma wore them a lot more often than you’ll ever have.

The back of this postcard says, “This rare species of Jackalope used in cattle roundups are very dependable and easily trained. A breed of Antelope and Jackrabbit. their cries often sound human and tuneful, probably form hearing cowboy songs at roundup time.” I’m sure this is totally not bullshit (it is since rabbits can’t be that huge).

With wax children this creepy, I can see why Jesus’ apostles were rather concerned about them. Still, those kiddies don’t seem completely innocent to me. I just wish Jesus could just get the hell out of there before those tykes try to murder him.

Oh, it’s a laminator for certain items you don’t want to get wet. Still, Miss Perma-Vend seems to really be excited about this for some unknown reason.

And I thought these Christian museum places were supposed to be family friendly venues. Still, I’m sure Salome’s dance didn’t go quite like this, as far as the Gospel writers had in mind.

Yet, by the look at her face, she sort of wants you to, if you know what I mean. Either that, or the flower stems in her nipples must be very painful.

For God’s sake that’s going to far and she really needs to cover up. Maybe she should just change into skin. Then again, this image was probably made for scientific purposes.

Of course, we have to understand that cotton picking is not fun and it can result in a lot of cuts and scrapes if you do it long enough. Otherwise, Southerners wouldn’t have made slaves do it (and we fought a whole war over slavery). Not only that, but cotton is now picked by machinery.

I know this is just a drawing for laughs but seriously? I don’t think a postcard with young girls’ bare butts is in any way appropriate. Still, they’ll soon have their tushies wracked with sunburns and splinters before long.

I’m sure this horse seems harmless. Yeah, it appears inflicted with some kind of Mad Horse disease from the Gulf of Mexico. Still, why have that at a mall fountain, I have no idea.

I’m sure these people are bored stiff watching this and are waiting this photo op to be over so they could bring in the beer. Let’s just say that it would basically lighten the mood in this joint.

Perhaps this is the postcard that inspired David Letterman to do his Stupid Pet Tricks segment on late night TV. Still, Super Star may be “a celebrity that blows his own trumpet.”

I’m sure Paul Bunyan is determined to take his suppressed rage to the world since his dad hated it when he put on women’s clothing and hanged around in bars.

Nevertheless, while the prayer may be rather thought provoking, this postcard is hard to take seriously with a tacky Jesus statue and a guy who resembles Bill Murray dressed as Colonel Sanders.

Once again, having those flowers on can’t be good for the nipples. Then again, maybe they’re taped. Still, I can’t believe they could get away with this in those days.

While Prince Ed wasn’t a bad guy, he was not exactly charming to say the least. In fact, he was known to have a genetic disorder that resulted in a freakishly tall head.

Then again, whenever I’ve seen people in barrels on TV it’s more or less to say that they’ve been robbed of everything including the shirt on their backs. That, and possibly murdered. Still, chimps must use big barrels or something.

I’m sure actual Mexicans visiting this restaurant would be sincerely offended if the joint is owned by a white guy and the food available is about as Mexican as the stuff at Taco Bell.

Oh, I forgot, Hairspray is musical made not to long ago adapted from 1980s movie. Still, I’m sure nobody would want to send their parents a postcard depicting something like this.

Here is one lady feeding some scraps to the fishies. Fishies seem to like lettuce. Still, the food must be very soggy to eat in that tank but at least she has a device to breathe through. Yet, I don’t know how she keeps her hair nice like that.

I’m sure PETA is going to be very upset at me for posting this. Still, even if it exhibits animal cruelty, it looks pretty awesome.

I bet any money that the bear is either going for whatever’s in the trash can or to the kids watching it. Then again, there’s the person taking the picture.

Actually that Viking display looks more Minnesota Vikings or Wagner opera than actual Vikings. I mean the Vikings didn’t wear horned helmets since that would be stupid. Still, at least they got Leif’s hair color right for his dad was Eric the Red.

I’m sure your parents all liked watching the Lawrence Welk Show than they were kids. Then again, they probably thought watching that show was more painful than having to go through a root canal.

Actually when I hear the name “Adolph,” I don’t think of an adorable dolphin. Rather I think of a German dictator who killed a bunch of people in concentration camps and started a major world war. Also, the dolphin kind of looks pretty mean.

Wait a minute, alligators don’t live in saltwater environments. They live in freshwater swamps like the Everglades. Then again, only in Florida.

And dear Lord, please give them the strength and courage to overcome their ghastly fashion sense. I mean it’s nice for them to go with traditional dress but a brown and yellow color scheme? Dear God!

Because of Los Angeles reputation for congested traffic, you’ll be on them for a very long time. Seriously, you don’t want to be stuck in an LA traffic jam.

I know this is supposed to be a more uplifting and welcoming message on this postcard. Yet, seeing these creepily drawn kids, urging you to go to Sunday school seems more of a threat.

I know this is more of a bungalow vacation spot for travelers. Yet, the hot pink walls and that neon sign give it the kind of “no-tell, motel” vibe that makes it seem like a place for hookers or adultery.

Of course, you know that this postcard is vintage when you see rotary dial telephones in them. Still, this woman seems so happy that she wants them all despite none of them matching her dress.

I’m sure “come on strong” and “go all the way” don’t seem to be taken out of context especially since he’s seems to be with a woman in a residential setting. And they seem to be making eye contact as if they’re about to do it. And they say hookup culture only took place in my generation. Hell, this has to be from the 1970s at the earliest.

I’m sure the Invisible woman isn’t showing herself wearing her new cowboy shirt in this due to her embarrassment to be photographed with her old man in what almost resembles blue pajamas.

Of course, when she’s on dry land, it’s going to be a pain in the ass to get all the seeds out of her hair. Still, she seems to be greatly enjoying herself.

Remember kids, this man may make gliding through space on a giant kite while on water skis seem awesome but you should never try this at home ever. Still, at least he’s not wearing a speedo.

I’m sure this dog is now shirking in embarrassment for having to pose for this postcard in this idiotic outfit. I mean, people won’t even dress their kids up this way, let alone a dog. Also, dogs have fur so they don’t need clothes.

The Lord Almighty sure does have a sense of humor doesn’t He? Still, I wonder if anyone noticed what that rock formation looks like before taking the photo for a postcard. Then again, this card sure won’t make your visit unforgettable.

I’m sure her trampoline must be enormous to have her jump that high into the sky. Then again, it’s probably photoshop.

PETA is going to be so angry with me after I do this post. Still, I hope those are mink and not foxes because white mink are domesticated.

Still, I’m sure there are plenty of rest stops that service both food and fuel. And even in plazas where there’s a restaurant, a gas station is not far behind.

I’m sure you’re not going to see Santa in these parts. Of course, he may go there for vacation in January after delivering presents to all those kids during the holidays.

Let’s just hope this little ape isn’t a mascot for some college sports team with an Indian mascot. Still, at least it’s not in African dress, which would’ve been more offensive.

Of course, I’m sure this perhaps one of the few postcards I’ve shown in which the bare butt display is intentional. Still, that baby doesn’t seem up to no good.

I’m sure we really need a postcard for this? Seriously, ads for priestly vestments? The monks at Saint Vincent College would sure get a kick out of this.

This is perhaps the lamest bloodthirsty T-Rex I’ve ever seen.

Who knew that pigs were excellent swimmers? Neither did I.

Of course, the presence of a mushroom cloud is because New Mexico was home to Los Alamos, the famous headquarters of the Manhattan Project as well as a nuclear testing site. Yet, I don’t think I’d want to visit a state that has a giant mushroom cloud of total annihilation on it’s postcard. Then there’s the thing that New Mexico is also known for if you’ve ever watched Breaking Bad.

This probably explains why the show Ancient Aliens is now in existence. This one has to be a postcard from Roswell also in New Mexico.

Seriously, tractors, parrots, and swimsuit models just don’t go together. Particularly tractors and parrots.

Either this is an interspecies romance resulting in Governor Rick Scott or the bathing beauty is going to be dinner.

Seriously, what is this? Is it a massage table, something used for plastic surgery, or a torture device?

Yet, he seems rather guilty that he has a dirty mind when it comes to certain human women.

For some people, this may be a key reason not to visit Cypress Gardens in Florida. I mean who wants to see a terrifying clown of your nightmares in a motorboat?

That guy is certainly a stubborn cuss all right. He’s probably been fishing forever and hasn’t caught anything. Of course, the bird’s wondering why he’s still there.

Seriously, I’m sure women didn’t dress up in bathing suits at the office during the 1950s. Also, why wear a swimsuit in paper bag brown?

Sure this may not be the tragic British pop star, but I can’t look at this postcard thinking about Amy Winehouse. Apologies to her fans.

Somehow I’m not sure if putting a dog near medicines is a good idea.

Of course, I wonder how many people may find the idea of seeing someone water ski in a tiger costume somewhat terrifying. This was probably made to attract furries if any of them existed at the time.

Also, I wonder ho many big cats would devour people for simply wearing such prints in front of them. Besides, I think animal prints are rather tacky anyway.

This served as the inspiration for the 1965 Dolphin Slayer Barbie which was quickly pulled off the market thanks to marine life advocacy groups. Apparently they thought such doll taught little girls the fun of killing giant marine mammals, most of which are now on the endangered species list.

Of course, horses can only be good for carrying medium sized fish hauls. With large sharks, you’re going to need a car.

This is wrong on so many levels. He’s probably saying “You’re going to hell. Now hand over your wallet.” This is a scam, plain and simple. Seriously, this child preacher thing is fucked up. I wonder what this kid’s parents are like.

I’m not sure if she’s going to play her bagpipes or assault someone with them off-camera. Either way, you really don’t want to mess with this bonny lass.

Look, I don’t know about you, but black knee high socks and business shoes are never appropriate with white shorts. I mean seriously, this is a fashion abomination.

Is this guy wearing a bro or a mansere? And why is the lady wearing one, too? Also, why is there a candelabra on a pink table in the middle?

Note the curtains were courtesy of the NRA. Also, sorry PETA. Still, aren’t polar bears an endangered species now? Maybe this shoot was sponsored by the Polar Bear Club.

With the way the country music industry is these days, I’m sure such flamboyant wardrobe displays would be frowned upon.

Sorry, I didn’t notice is was the 1968 Miss Nebraska in her androgynous 1960s Willa Cather style. Seriously, that is one of the ugliest pantsuits I have ever seen.

Hate to offend Southerners here, but I detest this flag. Seriously, this has been associated with not just Southern identity but also used as protest against school desegregation during the Civil Rights Era and by the KKK. Some may see it as a symbol of heritage but to me, this is a symbol of hate, and that’s all I’m going to say.

Apparently, though Lisa and Grizzy would cherish this moment forever, both realized that it wouldn’t work out since they were from different worlds. Society would never understand the kind of love between humans and bears or accept such a pairing. Besides, Grizzy thought Lisa’s family was delicious.

Seriously, there are some Mormon beliefs that are pretty messed up. Still, this reminds me more of a statue of Zeus than Jesus given the space backdrop and clouds.

Yeah, they’re having a wonderful time all right judging by the possibly haunted abandoned house in the picture. Still, they’re probably getting plenty of exercise from whatever horror monster is chasing them.

Apparently, around the turn of the 19th to 20th century, it wasn’t uncommon for Papa Bears to let their daughters seek human suitors just as long as they brought them home by ten.

This is actually said to be from the Story Book Forest at Idlewild Park in Ligonier, which I’ve actually been to. I don’t remember seeing this but they probably removed it before I came around. Actually I did a Google Search on Story Book Forest and apparently this traumatizing inducing clown is still around. Nevertheless, this is pretty terrifying.

Somehow I don’t think a display of dangling wax figures by the noose is something I’d like to see. Also, why would anyone visit a wax museum in the first place?

Yes, you hear me, those are tobacco leaves, which are used in products that kill a third of its user. Yes, this leafy green plant is a known killer of millions. I can’t see in any way how this postcard is anything other than a tobacco commercial.

Let’s just say the ugly font and car aren’t helping things here. And, no, this is not from a Wes Anderson movie.

I sincerely apologize to the gays for my comments. Still, this group of transvestites put Lady Gaga to shame.

Well, it seems that this poor girl is wearing nothing but flowers. Seriously, you can see her tan lines. She’s probably being self-conscious among onlookers during the photo shoot and wishes she’d wear more modest attire like a bikini.

Seriously, whoever in Oklahoma thought a postcard depicting an oil well fire would be a good idea out to be fired from the state’s tourist industry altogether. In the oil and gas industry, well fires are disasters that cause not only environmental devastation and destroy homes but also cost millions of dollars. This is not something that makes me want to visit Oklahoma. Rather it makes me want to avoid it altogether.

Reminds me of the Mr. Yough Competition during my high school days. Still, these guys would probably put the men of Monty Python to shame. And this swimsuit picture would never make the Sports Illustrated cover, not that it should. My apologies to cross dressers everywhere.

I’m sure personal grooming is perfectly easy underwater. Actually getting your hair untangled after swimming is a nightmare. Still, the real world isn’t like The Little Mermaid or Spongebob Squarepants for crying out loud.

Add to that it features a musical film starring an actress known to a appear in musicals with a large gay fanbase. Not to mention, it features a rainbow seen as a symbol for gay rights. Oh, the irony, the disappointing irony.

Seriously, why would anyone would send a postcard from a nude beach? I mean no one wants to see a couple of bare butts in a postcard.

Many of these hunting trophies in this room are probably now considered endangered species. This is kind of like a zoo, except all the animals are dead, stuffed, and mounted.

Worst ad pitch for a Las Vegas gambling venue ever. Makes Vegas look pretty lame.

When I hear the words “nut” and “house” used together in the same sentence, I don’t usually think of a nature center. Also, the bear’s pretty creepy.

Of course, the cotton picking by blacks reminds me of one of the great injustices in American history. Seriously, it’s offensive. As for the leafy green plants, they’re the least healthy ones on the planet.

This is simply a terrible postcard, especially since it tends to try to capitalize the murder of a US president, a national tragedy in itself. Seriously, Dallas, you could’ve used the Cowboys your people obsess about to annoying levels. Methinks you might be part of some larger conspiracy here.

For some reason, whenever I see this, I can’t think of anything else but Life of Brian. I mean the hair an beards are obviously fake and I’m sure one of Jesus’ disciples is wearing a robe made out of a shower curtain. Oh, and some of these guys are wearing light haired wigs.

I don’t think Ferdinand really likes having his picture taken and has been seriously thinking about goring some of the people who pose with him. Sometimes he wishes to be part of the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona where he can gore whatever human he wished.

Of course, a lion could never have done this nowadays thanks to the animal rights groups who see this as cruel. But it was entertainment.

Guy in stocks: “Can either of you please let me out here. I have to scratch something. Anyone please? This isn’t funny!”

Oh, please, look away, look away. That clown is terrifying and stuff of nightmares. Also, the beak and webbed feet make him seem even more creepy.

Still, I don’t think fur coats and swimsuits go together. I mean they’re two pieces of clothing belonging in totally different climates.

Sir, I hate to break it to you but shouldn’t your gigantic fish be strapped down on the roof of your station wagon? You know it can slip off at any time.

Everyone knows you shouldn’t give your dog alcoholic beverages. This is so wrong.

Let’s hope this lake’s name doesn’t appear on a spelling test since having kids spell this word is cruel. Look, I know it may come from the Indians, but if everyone has a hard time saying it, then it must be changed.

Besides, what woman wouldn’t want a brightly colored chain saw that looks like it comes from a Martha Stewart line at Sears Kmart or Walmart?

Also, she appears to be making something to do with cherries, like martinis perhaps. Because 1950s housewives need them to escape from the empty vacuums of their lives as second-class citizens.

This suite is simply hideous beyond all reason. It just seems more appropriate for a brothel or a place to have an affair than a room you’d stay with your family. Don’t let me stay there.

Please don’t let that terrifying talking chef hit me. This statue is bound to traumatize your kids. Oh, please, get me away from here!

Looks very much what you’d expect from a love nest but I don’t think it would be appropriate for a honeymoon suite. More like a sex dungeon or bordello.

Seriously, does anyone in Texas know how family unfriendly this display is?

Seriously, that leopard vest is hideous. Also, I wouldn’t mind if this guy would be mauled by elephants on his next trip.

Kid: Mommy, where’s Daddy? I thought I last saw him here a while ago.
Dad: Let me out! Let me out of here, goddammit!

Of course, some bears have such strength that they can just rip off the trunk door anyway. This is Yogi because he’s smarter than the average bear.

Of course, we’re not sure whether she has clothes on either. But what she’s wearing under the curtain is anyone’s guess.

Well, this is probably the limits of censorship as far as the 1950s go. Still, keep your minds out of the gutter.

No matter how big or fake looking a spider may be, it still appears terrifying to many.

I don’t think the food will be great in the water. Besides, wouldn’t the make up and lipstick be smeared already?

Either the parrots will attack the children or the kids will be introduced to a whole new vocabulary.

You may have thought hunting is a skill which should come naturally to dogs. Still, it doesn’t answer how this dog learned to read.

No way this isn’t photoshopped or have any taxidermy involved, said no one ever. Seriously, jakalopes don’t exist. Those hares with “antlers” were later found with a fungal infection. Or were perhaps glued. Still, it’s a fine example of Western humor in taxidermy.