This is perhaps the worst valentine I’ve ever seen and basically goes against everything Valentine’s Day stands for. I mean this depicts a lynching in humorous terms which isn’t very funny at all, especially to African Americans who were frequent targets in the South. Sorry for posting this, NAACP.

You aim to please, sure you do. Let me just get the hell out of here when you point that thing at me.

This is highly suggestive of cannibalism. And I’m not sure if any of us would want to be told we’re sweet enough to eat.

The picture is actually fairly inoffensive to Native Americans but the message certainly is. For any Indians reading this, I’m so sorry.

I’m not sure I want to try your brand for a while. I’m not a cow and branding is for cattle.

At least these to eggs will be together in whether scrambled, over easy, fried, or made into an omelet.

Talk about looking for love in all the wrong places.

And it’s even more disturbing since it’s a cat being bound to a stool while birds and a mouse look on.

Somehow I don’t see being bonked in the head and dragged to a guy’s dwelling as anything romantic.

Please give this skunk a reason to live or at least talk him out of shooting himself in the head before he drowns.

Who will rescue and ravage you with his magic rays whether you’ll like it or not.

I wonder if Snape and Lily got together would their kid look like this? Kind of makes me happy she ended up with James Potter.

Because accidents bring people together and keep them that way at least for awhile. Well, I’m not sure about car accidents since running over somebody will get them killed.

So how is this a Valentine’s Day card and not one for Halloween? Seems more appropriate for that holiday.

This is pretty disturbing furry action here. Gives man’s best friend an entire creepy new meaning.

Some sadistic dentistry is about to go down here if you don’t submit to sender.

A valentine only appropriate to be sent from your ex with a restraining order.

This is simply terrifying. Also, there are plenty of people who are afraid of clowns and I don’t think this will help.

And boy do I mean creepy here. Oh, God, that’s not cute at all.

Jesus, lady, I know you’re a waitress but please get a life.

Well, the sheep must have something wrong with it since it only looks like something from your nightmares.

And you don’t want to say no to a gangster, do you?

Well, maybe Elvis said it better. No need for graphic metaphoric images. Also, a heart house fire, really? That’s insane!

And that dummy is as creepy as they were in real life at the time. It will certainly give you nightmares.

I wonder if guys receiving this may think of one sausage slicing another.

I hear a lot about “taking stock” but this is ridiculous.

I’d much prefer it would be Han Solo in carbonite, or maybe not. But I don’t think he can just “thaw out” though since Leia had to do that for him. Man, can’t describe this picture without a Star Wars reference can’t I?

Please, I don’t want to know the details already. Seems that Oz may be even kinkier than previously thought.

And yes, dog farts really do stink like that. Still, pretty funny but kind of in bad taste.

Hmmm….perhaps the disease may depend on the relationship to the sender. Just don’t let me guess how it’s spread.

Because he’s so nuts for you that he needs to be put away somewhere.

Let’s just say when you ask someone to be your dictator, it’s never innocent. Also, you don’t want anyone to be your dictator.

He’s probably screaming from a sore asshole.

I’m not sure the blade really makes it seem anything other than threatening.

And you thought my generation had problems depicting girls like that. This is pretty disturbing and I’m not sure this is innocent.

At least the worm has good relationship standards. Oh, wait a minute did I just say that?

I’m sure there may be such a thing as a cowgirl loving her little doagies a little too much here.

Wait a minute is that paint or blood?

Something tells me having one’s heart on a platter really doesn’t suit my stomach right now.

This is very offensive. Besides, why send a valentine of a humiliated Chinese guy who may want to kill you?

Something tells me this woman is seeing the guy just to please her parents. Also, he may want her soul.

This is pretty disturbing, not cute or wholesome at all.

Is that doctor wearing pants, shorts, or underwear because I have a bad feeling about this.

I’m not sure if hammering it in is a good idea right now. Also, seems pretty disturbing.

Be his or he’ll blow you up with his heart machine gun.

This is pretty insane and terrifying. I’m not sure if I’d like someone do that for me.

And that cow certainly looks like there’s something wrong with it. And please don’t feed me its brains.

Something tells me that “screwy” may not have innocent connotations here.

And yes, he’s got plenty of meats for you to offer. But he hopes you’re not a vegetarian or vegan or he’ll cleave you.

Because even the Prince of Darkness himself needs love. Perhaps you can give him something like your soul for all eternity.