NFL Fans Dressed and Ready for Game Day (Second Edition)

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Once again, here am I outside in my Pittsburgh Steelers regalia with my Terrible Towel. Unlike last year, I have on a Steeler sweatshirt even though it’s not the kind of weather to wear it. But along with the hat, it’s to make my outfit different than it was last year.

Along with children going back to school, one of the things that marks the dying days of summer is none other than the start of the NFL football season. Last year, I did a post on crazy NFL fans dressing up in a variety of ridiculous costumes which got a rather pleasing reception. So I decided to do another for this year. Besides, you can’t capture the fan craziness out in the NFL in just one post. Nevertheless, those who ask why I do posts on NFL football over other sports. Well, even though I’m not a big sports fan I do have my reasons. First, NFL football is a huge deal in the US and is the most popular pro sport in the country. And it’s especially popular in my neck of the woods where almost everyone’s favorite pro sports team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. Second, unlike basketball, hockey, and baseball, it has a definite season that spans from September to January as well as pre-season period in August and a post-season period to February. Third, the Super Bowl is treated as an unofficial national holiday and is normally the most watched thing on TV of any given year. If you look at any most watched TV broadcasts ever in the US, most of them will revolve around Super Bowls. Hell, the only broadcasts that weren’t Super Bowls on the list are the finales of M*A*S*H and Cheers (which coincidentally aired the very day my sister was born). Fourth, my college alma mater Saint Vincent in Latrobe has paid host to Steelers training camp since the late 1960s which draws large crowds. And finally, since my dad is a big Steeler fan, I grew up more exposed to NFL football more than most pro sports. But he’s not nearly as crazy as these people. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of crazy NFL fans in their full team regalia.

  1. Sorry, Christians, but it turns out that the Lord Jesus Christ is for the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Okay, it's a Steeler fan dressed like Jesus. But I know a lot of Christians won't like this, especially if they're from Dallas, Cincinnati, Baltimore, New England, or anywhere outside Pittsburgh.

Okay, it’s a Steeler fan dressed like Jesus. But I know a lot of Christians won’t like this, especially if they’re from Dallas, Cincinnati, Baltimore, New England, or anywhere outside Pittsburgh.

2. This dad tries his best to bring up his son in the Houston Texans tradition.

Like how he has a matching stroller. Of course, I guess his kid isn't old enough for the bull horns and face paint.

Like how he has a matching stroller. Of course, I guess his kid isn’t old enough for the bull horns and face paint.

3. You don’t have to be human to show your love to the Green Bay Packers.

Because even this bull dog is a known cheesehead. Then again, their owner most likely is and it doesn't really care about sports.

Because even this bull dog is a known cheesehead. Then again, their owner most likely is and it doesn’t really care about sports.

4. Since Stephen King lives in Maine, it’s only natural for killer clowns to cheer for the New England Patriots.

Well, I'm not sure if Stephen King even cares about NFL football. But he did write at least one story featuring a killer clown. And he is from New England. So it fits.

Well, I’m not sure if Stephen King even cares about NFL football. But he did write at least one story featuring a killer clown. And he is from New England. So it fits.

5. This Oakland Raiders fan gives no bones about what you think.

Yes, I know I had to include Raiders fans in this post at some point. Doesn't hurt he he's wearing an autographed helmet, too.

Yes, I know I had to include Raiders fans in this post at some point. Doesn’t hurt he he’s wearing an autographed helmet, too.

6. Don’t look now, but I’d watch out for this guy’s cheese.

Because for this Packers' fan, his cheese on a stick has teeth. So if you're not a fan of the Green Bay Packers, you might want to watch out.

Because for this Packers’ fan, his cheese on a stick has teeth. So if you’re not a fan of the Green Bay Packers, you might want to watch out.

7. Apparently, Oakland Raider fans aren’t the only scary sports enthusiasts out there.

These Houston Texans fans wear skull masks and funny hats. But they take their team so seriously that you should be wary to laugh in front of them in their silly costumes.

These Houston Texans fans wear skull masks and funny hats. But they take their team so seriously that you should be wary to laugh in front of them in their silly costumes.

8. This Cincinnati Bengals’ fan would surely stand out in their large striped cowboy hat.

Doesn't hurt this person has the make up and accessories to match. Wouldn't want to sit near someone like that in the stands.

Doesn’t hurt this person has the make up and accessories to match. Wouldn’t want to sit near someone like that in the stands.

9. In Seattle, don’t be surprised to see Seahawks fans in feather headdresses like this one.

Interestingly, the Seattle Seahawks logo design is most likely taken from Pacific Northwest Native American totem poles. But nobody discusses it. Then again, the design might be a coincidence anyway.

Interestingly, the Seattle Seahawks logo design is most likely taken from Pacific Northwest Native American totem poles. But nobody discusses it. Then again, the design might be a coincidence anyway.

10. Speaking of the Seahawks, this crazy colored gorilla always seems to turn out for them.

Then again, he might be a sasquatch who keeps to himself in the forest and only turns out for Seahawks games. Why Bigfoot enthusiasts don't notice, we'll never know.

Then again, he might be a sasquatch who keeps to himself in the forest and only turns out for Seahawks games. Why Bigfoot enthusiasts don’t notice, we’ll never know.

11. This old gnome always goes for his beloved Oakland Raiders.

He even wears, chains, swords, and skulls for good measure. So don't try to mistake him for some evil henchman from some fantasy story. He's just a Raiders fan.

He even wears, chains, swords, and skulls for good measure. So don’t try to mistake him for some evil henchman from some fantasy story. He’s just a Raiders fan.

12. This Seahawks fan never hesitates to show off his prized bobble head doll.

Don't mind that he has a skull face and a large blue mohawk. He's just really proud of his team.

Don’t mind that he has a skull face and a large blue mohawk. He’s just really proud of his team.

13. When his Minnesota Vikings need more power, he never hesitates to cut the cheese.

There's another guy who wears a chainsaw hat for Dallas. But I think the one pertaining to Green Bay is funnier.

There’s another guy who wears a chainsaw hat for Dallas. But I think the one pertaining to Green Bay is funnier.

14. As Green Bay Packers call themselves cheeseheads, Chicago Bears fans go with graters.

You have to admit it, the concept is very clever. After all, Green Bay and Chicago are big rivals since they're in the same NFC conference.

You have to admit it, the concept is very clever. After all, Green Bay and Chicago are big rivals since they’re in the same NFC division.

15. This Washington Redskins fan goes to the games in his best feather headdress.

Native Americans, I give you full permission to look upon this man in disdain for offending your culture. Then again, how many times have there been calls to get to Washington Redskins to change their damn name. Because "redskin" is a derogatory slur.

Native Americans, I give you full permission to look upon this man in disdain for offending your culture. Then again, how many times have there been calls to get to Washington Redskins to change their damn name. Because “redskin” is a derogatory racial slur.

16. Seems like the Thing really enjoys his Cincinnati Bengals.

As for why he only has one large fist, I really can't say. Guess he lost the other one?

As for why he only has one large fist, I really can’t say. Guess he lost the other one?

17. These Cincinnati Bengal fans could make cowboy hats from six pack boxes.

Yet, while one woman goes for Miller, the other goes for Coors. Nevertheless, they're on the same team so it doesn't matter what beer they drink.

Yet, while one woman goes for Miller, the other goes for Coors. Nevertheless, they’re on the same team so it doesn’t matter what beer they drink.

18. Any demonic papa would be proud to bring up a child in the Denver Broncos tradition.

Even better when both father and child wear jerseys with the same number. Not sure if this is heartwarming or creepy. Okay, it's kind of ridiculous.

Even better when both father and child wear jerseys with the same number. Not sure if this is heartwarming or creepy. Okay, it’s kind of ridiculous. Then again, that may not really be a child.

19. Hey, I didn’t know Hulk Hogan was a Buffalo Bills fan.

Actually this is a Buffalo Bills fan dressed as Hulk Hogan. But you have to admire his mustache and feather boas.

Actually this is a Buffalo Bills fan dressed as Hulk Hogan. But you have to admire his mustache and feather boas.

20. This Steelers fan always attends the game in stripes.

But even he wouldn't wear those ugly bumblebee throwback uniforms.But he would paint his face in stripes.

But even he wouldn’t wear those ugly bumblebee throwback uniforms.But he would paint his face in stripes.

21. Let’s hope the Green Bay Packers don’t fail Vader this year.

Because Darth Vader possess a strong power guided by the Force and hates when people fail him. So if the Packers suffer a losing season, some of them may not be back next year. Like Aaron Rodgers.

Because Darth Vader possess a strong power guided by the Force and hates when people fail him. So if the Packers suffer a losing season, some of them may not be back next year. Like Aaron Rodgers.

22. Sometimes a Raiders fan just has to go with the skulls and a full shoulder pad rib cage.

Yes, I know real rib cages on humans don't look like that. But I don't think this guy gives a shit. Also, the skulls have swords stabbed through them.

Yes, I know real rib cages on humans don’t look like that. But I don’t think this guy gives a shit. Also, the skulls have swords stabbed through them.

23. What the hell is Walter White doing at a Tampa Bay Buccaneers game?

Okay, this is a Buccaneers fan in a biohazard suit akin to Walter White. Very different story. But crazy just the same. Wonder if he gets hot in there.

Okay, this is a Buccaneers fan in a biohazard suit akin to Walter White. Very different story. But crazy just the same. Wonder if he gets hot in there.

24. This Dallas Cowboy fan only went with nothing but a hat, cape, and face paint.

I guess he's going to be a very itchy man by the end of the game. But he seem to feel like it's worth all the trouble for the photo.

I guess he’s going to be a very itchy man by the end of the game. But he seem to feel like it’s worth all the trouble for the photo.

25. You underestimate how much the undead support the Miami Dolphins.

Because he really seems to get himself out there. And compared to his team, he really scares the shit out of you.

Because he really seems to get himself out there. And compared to his team, he really scares the shit out of you.

26. Scary Ohio clowns go for the Cleveland Browns.

Unfortunately, for this guy, he might be more intimidating than the team. Seriously, the Browns aren't well-known for their penchant for winning.

Unfortunately, for this guy, he might be more intimidating than the team. Seriously, the Browns aren’t well-known for their penchant for winning.

27. So I guess the people of Kansas City, Missouri love their team so much that even their high church leaders go for the Chiefs.

Okay, he's just a fan dressed as a bishop or the Pope. But I think the red Chief vestments suit him.

Okay, he’s just a fan dressed as a bishop or the Pope. But I think the red Chief vestments suit him.

28. Just because she’s wearing black birds, doesn’t mean she’s a Ravens fan.

In fact, she supports the Oakland Raiders. And she even makes herself more mysterious with a mosaic mirror mask.

In fact, she supports the Oakland Raiders. And she even makes herself more mysterious with a mosaic mirror mask.

29. Saint Vince is always cheering for his Green Bay Packers on the sidelines.

Saint Vince is a legend among Green Bay Packers fans that I just had to include him. By the way, the "Vince" here is Vince Lombardi. And he even has a cheese staff, too.

Saint Vince is a legend among Green Bay Packers fans that I just had to include him. By the way, the “Vince” here is Vince Lombardi. And he even has a cheese staff, too.

30. This man gets on a horse to support his beloved Denver Broncos.

Yes, it's a face horse he's wearing. But it still looks incredibly outrageous that I had to include it.

Yes, it’s a face horse he’s wearing. But it still looks incredibly outrageous that I had to include it.

31. For this Detroit Lions fan, he can’t go wrong with a lion hat and sunglasses.

Then again, given how the Lions aren't known for their winning seasons, such costume might be enough. But it's good enough for this post.

Then again, given how the Lions aren’t known for their winning seasons, such costume might be enough. But it’s good enough for this post.

32. When it gets cold, these guys show up to Packers games in scarves, ear muffs, and striped overalls.

They also dye their hair green and paint their faces for support. Yes, they look outrageous but they don't care.

They also dye their hair green and paint their faces for support. Yes, they look outrageous but they don’t care.

33. Surprised to see Thor and Iron Man at a New Orleans Saints game.

Thought football would be among the last things they'd be concerned about. Then again, that Thor has dark hair so it's probably not really them.

Thought football would be among the last things they’d be concerned about. Then again, that Thor has dark hair so it’s probably not really them.

34. Somehow this Dallas Cowboy fan has to show that his team are champions.

Yes, I know that the Dallas Cowboys have won 5 Super Bowls. But they haven't won one since the 1990s when they were up against the....okay, maybe I shouldn't go there.

Yes, I know that the Dallas Cowboys have won 5 Super Bowls. But they haven’t won one since the 1990s when they were up against the….okay, maybe I shouldn’t go there.

35. Sometimes a Carolina Panthers fan has to take the big paws out.

And with the pig paws this guy certainly has. Even has his face painted and blue hair to boot.

And with the pig paws this guy certainly has. Even has his face painted and blue hair to boot.

36. This Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan even lends his horn for the team.

Of course, the baubles around his neck don't make him seem very intimidating. But perhaps he's in a yuletide mood at this point.

Of course, the baubles around his neck don’t make him seem very intimidating. But perhaps he’s in a yuletide mood at this point.

37. To these Philadelphia Eagles fans, the game is for the birds.

And by that, I mean large birds of prey who aren't falcons. Like that one guy's beak, by the way.

And by that, I mean large birds of prey who aren’t falcons. Like that one guy’s beak, by the way.

38. While Green Bay has the Packers bulldog, Pittsburgh has its own Steeler poodle.

Yes, this was done with pet body paint which most veterinarians ask pet owners not to do. But this is just hysterical that I had to put it in.

Yes, this was done with pet body paint which most veterinarians ask pet owners not to do. But this is just hysterical that I had to put it in.

39. Even western bikers go for the Oakland Raiders.

And as far as I know about Raider fans, these two will fit right in. And they'd even be seen as normal in comparison.

And as far as I know about Raider fans, these two will fit right in. And they’d even be seen as normal in comparison.

40. This Saint Louis Rams fan goes all out with the horns.

Yet, since the Rams decided to return to LA, it's hard to tell for much longer. Mostly because sports fandoms can be unpredictable things.

Yet, since the Rams decided to return to LA, it’s hard to tell for much longer. Mostly because sports fandoms can be unpredictable things.

41. Guess someone has already hulked out at the Green Bay Packers game.

So is this a very good thing or a very bad thing. Also, I don't think hulks look great in yellow clown wigs but that's just my opinion.

So is this a very good thing or a very bad thing. Also, I don’t think hulks look great in yellow clown wigs but that’s just my opinion.

42. The Bronconator always has two unicorns on his side during a game in Denver.

Yes, those are unicorn figurines. But do you think he really cares? Probably not.

Yes, those are unicorn figurines. But do you think he really cares? Probably not. Then again, they could be horses all along.

43. Seems like the masked Charger Cowboy and Bolt Man are very good friends.

Seems like neither is a fan of the Indianopolis Colts. But down in San Diego, they seem like old pals.

Seems like neither is a fan of the Indianopolis Colts. But down in San Diego, they seem like old pals.

44. When it comes to supporting the Chicago Bears, there are no limits to foam.

Here is this guy with foam paws and a bear hat. And he seems really psyched up for the game.

Here is this guy with foam paws and a bear hat. And he seems really psyched up for the game.

45. Apparently, Oakland Raider fans are a scary bunch.

Doesn't help that they dress in creepy black and white costumes. And I sure as hell wouldn't want to run into this guy.

Doesn’t help that they dress in creepy black and white costumes. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want to run into this guy.

46. Seems like the Buffalo Bills fans support Rex Ryan by the foot.

Not sure what the feet are supposed to mean. But I wonder what the guys in front of them would think about them. Because that would be interesting.

Not sure what the feet are supposed to mean. But I wonder what the guys in front of them would think about them. Because that would be interesting.

47. For this Baltimore Ravens fan, it’s purple hair or no hair.

He also goes with beads, hard hat, and purple face paint for good measure. Let's hope he's not going to a Steelers game.

He also goes with beads, hard hat, and purple face paint for good measure. Let’s hope he’s not going to a Steelers game.

48. This luchador Chicago Bears fan is ready to rumble.

Seems like I have a lot of Chicago Bear fans on this post already. Not really sure why.

Seems like I have a lot of Chicago Bear fans on this post already. Not really sure why.

49. One has to be quite ingenious to have their own Pats hat.

And it seems to resemble the logo quite well if you look at it at this angle. Though we all know what the New England Patriots are like (cheaters).

And it seems to resemble the logo quite well if you look at it at this angle. Though we all know what the New England Patriots are like (cheaters).

50. No, I don’t think that’s the Green Bay Packer cheerleading squad.

In fact, I bet any money that these are all guys. Still, you have to admire their sense of humor in this one.

In fact, I bet any money that these are all guys. Still, you have to admire their sense of humor in this one.

51. Didn’t expect to see a Transformer at a Cincinnati Bengals game.

He even has the shoulder pads and jersey to match. Which begs the question for me.

He even has the shoulder pads and jersey to match. Which begs the question for me.

52. This Indianapolis Colts fan has her team on her lips.

They're probably fake lips. But they still look just as ridiculous along with the clown wig and glasses.

They’re probably fake lips. But they still look just as ridiculous along with the clown wig and glasses.

53. This New Orleans Saints fan even has some gold teeth to spare.

Let's hope those teeth are fake which they most likely are. Yet, they seem to go well with the hat.

Let’s hope those teeth are fake which they most likely are. Yet, they seem to go well with the hat.

54. Supergirl always cheers for her New York Giants.

Wait, doesn't Supergirl have blond hair? So this probably can't really be her.

Wait, doesn’t Supergirl have blond hair? So this probably can’t really be her.

55. This luchador always goes out of the way to support his New England Patriots.

Even though spandex is hardly a great insulator. And the fact, a lot of fans outside New England hate them.

Even though spandex is hardly a great insulator. And the fact, a lot of fans outside New England hate them.

56. This Steeler fan will do whatever it takes to see his team win.

Even if it means donning a Steeler suit of spandex. Not sure if that's even comfortable.

Even if it means donning a Steeler suit of spandex. Not sure if that’s even comfortable. But he’s proud of it.

57. Looks like we’ve come across one of the infamous Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

Okay, that's a fat guy dressed as a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. But if he wants to dress like that, it's his choice. Even if he looks utterly ridiculous.

Okay, that’s a fat guy dressed as a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. But if he wants to dress like that, it’s his choice. Even if he looks utterly ridiculous.

58. Apparently, this Elvis is an avid fan of the San Francisco 49ers.

He even has it on his maroon jacket if you know where to look. And I thought Elvis was more of a Titans fan.

He even has it on his maroon jacket if you know where to look. And I thought Elvis was more of a Titans or Panthers fan.

59. Oh, no, the Miami gorillas are on the loose!

No need to worry, they're Dolphins fans just here for the big game. How they got into street clothes, I'll never know.

No need to worry, they’re Dolphins fans just here for the big game. How they got into street clothes, I’ll never know.

60. Sometimes you need a hat to cover your head now and then.

And there seems to be no shortage of Green Bay Packers fans in outlandish costumes. This one included but his outfit is mild compared to some.

And there seems to be no shortage of Green Bay Packers fans in outlandish costumes. This one included but his outfit is mild compared to some.

61. Blueberry always tries to make his Indianapolis Colts his top priority.

Doesn't hurt that he has a Colt hat and paints his face blue. Wonder how long it takes for him to prepare for a big game.

Doesn’t hurt that he has a Colt hat and paints his face blue. Wonder how long it takes for him to prepare for a big game.

62. Looks like the Gremlins express support for the New Orleans Saints.

Guess anyone in New Orleans doesn't have to worry about their electronics and appliances falling apart during football season on Sunday. Because these two will be watching the game.

Guess anyone in New Orleans doesn’t have to worry about their electronics and appliances falling apart during football season on Sunday. Because these two will be watching the game.

63. This Green Bay Packer fan is always excited when his team scores.

He's even wearing a field gold hat and has everything in green and yellow. So he's all pumped up for the Packer game.

He’s even wearing a field gold hat and has everything in green and yellow. So he’s all pumped up for the Packer game.

64. Does that guy have an Eagle on his chest?

Apparently, he's a Philadelphia Eagles fan even if the eagle is a bit large on him. Wonder how he carries himself in that.

Apparently, he’s a Philadelphia Eagles fan even if the eagle is a bit large on him. Wonder how he carries himself in that jersey.

65. This pirate always tries to look his best at an Oakland Raiders game.

Well, at least he's not wearing a skull mask, spikes, or skulls all over him. Like his hat.

Well, at least he’s not wearing a skull mask, spikes, or skulls all over him. Like his hat.

66. For some reason, this creepy Arizona Cardinals fan likes to show up in a red feather suit.

Yes, I know his face will give you nightmares. But he's just here to watch the Cardinals. So it's no big deal.

Yes, I know his face will give you nightmares. But he’s just here to watch the Cardinals. So it’s no big deal.

67. For lady Viking fans, always go with purple hair in Minnesota.

Furry cone Viking helmets also work by the way. Even if they have braids dropping from them.

Furry cone Viking helmets also work by the way. Even if they have braids dropping from them.

68. Check out this undead Raiders’ fan’s bony fingers.

Yes, they may be big and bony. But you'd certainly not want this Raider's fan to show up at your house at night.

Yes, they may be big and bony. But you’d certainly not want this Raider’s fan to show up at your house at night.

69. This Buffalo Bills fan always cheers for his team to lead the charge.

Yet, since the Bills aren't among the best NFL teams they probably wont. Kind of feel sorry for this guy.

Yet, since the Bills aren’t among the best NFL teams they probably wont. Kind of feel sorry for this guy.

70. Those who liked the Denver Broncos Barrel Man in last year’s NFL fan post will like Barrel Boy.

He's like the Barrel Man but more pint sized. And incredibly adorable, too.

He’s like the Barrel Man but more pint sized. And incredibly adorable, too.

71. Not all Oakland Raiders fans are tall and scary. Some look quite chic.

This woman is wearing a corset and leather along with her scary Raiders makeup. But hers only covers half her face.

This woman is wearing a corset and leather along with her scary Raiders makeup. But hers only covers half her face.

72. This Houston Texan fan always like to accentuate his shoulder pads before the big game.

And yes, it looks really ridiculous. But not to this guy. To him, he looks cool.

And yes, it looks really ridiculous. But not to this guy. To him, he looks cool.

73. This Cincinnati Bengals’ fan would never leave home without his Bengal hat.

Doesn't hurt if he paints his face with Bengal stripes to match. Even though he might stand out from a crowd.

Doesn’t hurt if he paints his face with Bengal stripes to match. Even though he might stand out from a crowd.

74. For the New York Jets, no one can possibly ever forget old Fireman Ed.

Fireman Ed is one of the better known New York Jets characters. Can always be recognized by his fireman's hat. Crazy.

Fireman Ed is one of the better known New York Jets characters. Can always be recognized by his fireman’s hat. Crazy.

75. This Miami Dolphins fan goes all out on her orange and white.

Doesn't matter if she's tacky in her large orange hat. As long as she's wearing Dolphins, it's all good.

Doesn’t matter if she’s tacky in her large orange hat. As long as she’s wearing Dolphins, it’s all good.

76. This Buffalo Bills fan will even wear sequins for his beloved team.

He'll also wear arm covers with red and white strips descending from them. But he feels it's all worth it.

He’ll also wear arm covers with red and white strips descending from them. But he feels it’s all worth it.

77. The Celebrity Queen proudly supports her New England Pats.

Sure they may be cheaters. But as long as she's concerned, they're her cheaters and she still loves them.

Sure they may be cheaters. But as long as she’s concerned, they’re her cheaters and she still loves them. Same can be said regarding other Patriot fans.

78. There’s no costume that’s too elaborate and over the top for this New Orleans Saints fan.

And yes, he's dressed in feathers galore like he works in some Las Vegas show. Wonder how he manages to sit in the stands during the game.

And yes, he’s dressed in feathers galore like he works in some Las Vegas show. Wonder how he manages to sit in the stands during the game.

79. There’s never enough pom poms for this Pittsburgh Steeler fan.

And yes, he's all covered in them from head to toe. He may even have some left over, too.

And yes, he’s all covered in them from head to toe. He may even have some left over, too.

80. Not sure what to think about this Bengals fan making a hat from the old pigskin.

Sure the Bengals play football. But that just makes anyone look pretty strange. Doesn't help with the foam paws either.

Sure the Bengals play football. But that just makes anyone look pretty strange. Doesn’t help with the foam paws either.

81. I guess you can call these guys the literal Dallas Cowboys.

Yeah, I don't think the Dallas Cowboys are actual cows. But I think these costumes are udderly hilarious. Love it.

Yeah, I don’t think the Dallas Cowboys are actual cows. But I think these costumes are udderly hilarious. Love it.

82. No, I don’t think that’s a Steeler cheerleader for they don’t exist.

Just another fat Steeler fan in a skimpy outfit and wig. Yeah, he doesn't look great in that outfit.

Just another fat Steeler fan in a skimpy outfit and wig. Yeah, he doesn’t look great in that outfit.

83. This Miami Dolphins fan has a dolphin on each shoulder.

He even has pom poms and face paint for good measure. But compared to a few other Miami fans, his costume is quite tame.

He even has pom poms and face paint for good measure. But compared to a few other Miami fans, his costume is quite tame.

84. This Green Bay Packer fan sees himself as a fence painter.

Or a "defense painter" to be more specific. Nevertheless, wouldn't want to sit behind him in the stadium during a game or beside him.

Or a “defense painter” to be more specific. Nevertheless, wouldn’t want to sit behind him in the stadium during a game or beside him.

85. The New York Giants Queen seems to have something to say.

I guess this is a Giants parody of the Patriots' Celebrity Queen. Makes sense. At least the signs are funnier.

I guess this is a Giants parody of the Patriots’ Celebrity Queen. Makes sense. At least the signs are funnier.

86. Any room for two big skulls in Baltimore?

Don't worry, they're just skull masks. I'm sure Ray Lewis isn't hiding in one of them. Honest.

Don’t worry, they’re just skull masks. I’m sure these women aren’t meaning to frighten anyone.

87. Baltimore’s Captan Dee Fense is always at the Ravens’ side.

Yes, there's an actual guy like this in Baltimore. However, the Ravens didn't seem to go for defense much last season. Heh, heh.

Yes, there’s an actual guy like this in Baltimore. However, the Ravens didn’t seem to go for defense much last season. Heh, heh.

88. This Steeler fan always goes for some more Cowher Power.

Unfortunately, Cowher hasn't coached the Steelers for some time now. But this guy's hat is totally ridiculous.

Unfortunately, Cowher hasn’t coached the Steelers for some time now. But this guy’s hat is totally ridiculous.

89. Warbonnet and spiked shoulder pads, a great Redskins fan do make.

But when it comes to Native American relations, you wouldn't want to show up in a pow wow in this. Seriously, Native Americans don't view wearing warbonnets in sporting events very highly at all.

But when it comes to Native American relations, you wouldn’t want to show up in a pow wow in this. Seriously, Native Americans don’t view wearing warbonnets in sporting events very highly at all.

90. In Houston, Elvis always makes his support for the Texans perfectly clear.

Yes, he has the Houston Texans logo on the back of his cape. And it's all sparkly, too.

Yes, he has the Houston Texans logo on the back of his cape. And it’s all sparkly, too.

91. This Browns fan has his hat dripping with bones.

Let's hope he doesn't attract any dogs with them. Also would say the same about the sausage around his neck.

Let’s hope he doesn’t attract any dogs with them. Also would say the same about the sausage around his neck.

92. These Dallas Cowboy fans have their love for their team on their chests.

And in full body paint, too. One of them has the Dallas star in a jigsaw puzzle mode.

And in full body paint, too. One of them has the Dallas star in a jigsaw puzzle mode.

93. Even Santa Claus thinks that the Pittsburgh Steelers are the best in the NFL.

He even has a gold suit to show for it. Just see him wave the iconic Terrible Towel.

He even has a gold suit to show for it. Just see him wave the iconic Terrible Towel.

94. Guess this German barmaid is dressed to support the Minnesota Vikings.

After all, the Midwest is full of Germans and Scandinavians. Or at least it was. Still, this is clever.

After all, the Midwest is full of Germans and Scandinavians. Or at least it was. Still, this is clever.

95. Guess you’ll always have to have one crazy Jack-o-Lantern rooting for the Cleveland Browns.

Then again, he's bound to give more nightmares to children than the team ever will. Seriously, the Browns aren't known for winning a lot.

Then again, he’s bound to give more nightmares to children than the team ever will. Seriously, the Browns aren’t known for winning a lot.

96. Darth Maul doesn’t like it one bit when there’s a call against his Vikings.

Sure he's supposed to have a red and black face. But the overall costume is brilliant.

Sure he’s supposed to have a red and black face. But the overall costume is brilliant.

97. Seems like this Jacksonville Jaguars fan has bee under the weather lately.

After all, he seems to have a lot of junk in his hair. Maybe because it's due to hurricane season.

After all, he seems to have a lot of junk in his hair. Maybe because it’s due to hurricane season.

98. Looks like flaming hair tends to run in this family.

Oh, wait they're Tennessee Titan fans. And they really seem to be dressed their best for the game. Probably it might be since they're rich enough for front row seating.

Oh, wait they’re Tennessee Titan fans. And they really seem to be dressed their best for the game. Probably it might be since they’re rich enough for front row seating.

99. Atlanta Falcons fans always tailgate in feathers.

Wonder what this woman is doing here. Probably some dance or having a good time. Hope she doesn't get those feathers everywhere.

Wonder what this woman is doing here. Probably some dance or having a good time. Hope she doesn’t get those feathers everywhere.

100. Here we have 2 Steeler fans who came all the way from Mexico.

You can tell by their black and gold ponchos and sombreros. But they must be very diehard fans to travel this far.

You can tell by their black and gold ponchos and sombreros. But they must be very diehard fans to travel this far.

Not Licensed By the NCAA College Athletic Craft Projects

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So I’m down with fan costumes and merchandise. Now it’s on to college sport craft projects. You might’ve noticed that unlike the NFL craft post, I didn’t include a picture of myself. Mostly because I don’t have any college sport craft projects so I decided to go with the college football fan map instead. I figured since college football season is soon to begin next week. And if I decide to go with a craft post during March Madness, I’ll use a basketball one. Anyway, you may not think that sports and crafts go together if you haven’t been on Pinterest or Etsy. Yet, even though more men like sports and women do crafts, understand that there are plenty of female sports fans out there as well a guys who do crafts. Then there are college athletes like famed Penn State football player Rosie Grier who later played for the LA Rams and took up needlepoint as a hobby. If you look on Pinterest, you’ll find a lot more sports team crafts on there than you can imagine. However, when it came to looking for craft projects in college sports, it’s a bit tricky. Along with the merchandise, I had to google names of several different colleges to find them. Because if you just type anything relating to college sports crafts, you’ll just end up finding stuff mostly from Alabama and LSU trust me. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of the unique craft projects of college sports. Most of the craft projects featured will be representative of Division I teams, naturally.

  1. Any Iowa Hawkeye fan would love to drink from this painted wine glass.
Of course, these glasses are never for drinking. But I'm sure Iowa fans would want one anyway.

Of course, these glasses are never for drinking. But I’m sure Iowa fans would want one anyway.

2. Tennessee Volunteer fans would definitely adore this football door hanging.

It's in orange and white with polka dot lines. But it's a rather charming football decoration.

It’s in orange and white with polka dot lines. But it’s a rather charming football decoration.

3. With an old window frame and tiles, you’ll have this Alabama Crimson Tide board.

You can even use it to write things down like a shopping list or Alabama's football record. This person uses chalk.

You can even use it to write things down like a shopping list or Alabama’s football record. This person uses chalk.

4. Any Mountaineers fan would surely envy anyone with this WVU quilt.

Sure it might not look like much. But it's sure to keep warm during cold evening games in Morgantown.

Sure it might not look like much. But it’s sure to keep warm during cold evening games in Morgantown.

5. Georgia Bulldog fans will definitely want a wreath like this for their front door.

Yes, it may seem quite fancy from what you'd expect from a college sports wreath. But fans are bound to love it.

Yes, it may seem quite fancy from what you’d expect from a college sports wreath. But fans are bound to love it.

6. This Iowa State wreath is all covered in ribbons.

Iowa State is the other Iowa university but the one you probably don't hear about. Unless you live in Iowa. However, its fanbase is mostly concentrated around Ames.

Iowa State is the other Iowa university but the one you probably don’t hear about. Unless you live in Iowa. However, its fanbase is mostly concentrated around Ames.

7. At this house marks Mountaineer country.

Yes, this is a WVU ribbon wreath. But I think the arrow really makes it work here.

Yes, this is a WVU ribbon wreath. But I think the arrow really makes it work here.

8. Anyone at Happy Valley will love these Penn State pillow cushions.

This is a fairly simple design with just "We Are Penn State." But it's effective.

This is a fairly simple design with just “We Are Penn State.” But it’s effective.

9. This WVU wreath will make a welcome addition to almost any West Virginia door.

Yes, it's another WVU wreath. But I really like this design and how the letter stand out that I had to put it in the post.

Yes, it’s another WVU wreath. But I really like this design and how the letter stand out that I had to put it in the post.

10. This UNC wreath is certainly a charm on any front door.

This one has white and silver berries as well as shiny ribbon. And the UNC letters are in a whimsical font.

This one has white and silver berries as well as shiny ribbon. And the UNC letters are in a whimsical font.

11. Any fan of the Buckeyes will want this Ohio State pallet on their wall.

It depicts the Ohio State logo with the state of Ohio. What Ohio State fan wouldn't want that?

It depicts the Ohio State logo with the state of Ohio. What Ohio State fan wouldn’t want that?

12. University of Washington Huskies fans might like to have these blocks on their mantle.

Sure each may have a decoration. But "Huskies" is in purple in order to really stand out. Adorable.

Sure each may have a decoration. But “Huskies” is in purple in order to really stand out. Adorable.

13. Sometimes at Ohio State, it’s best to aim for simplicity.

This Ohio State ribbon wreath does exactly that. Just the logo and flowers. That's it.

This Ohio State ribbon wreath does exactly that. Just the logo and flowers. That’s it.

14. When it counts, best to have Auburn University in big bright letters.

Yes, it might require electricity and somewhere to be plugged in. But you have to admit, it's a dazzling sight.

Yes, it might require electricity and somewhere to be plugged in. But you have to admit, it’s a dazzling sight.

15. Kansas State Wildcat fans might go with a simpler approach to their front door.

This purple yarn wreath only has KSU, a white flower, and a white ribbon. But it looks charming just the same.

This purple yarn wreath only has KSU, a white flower, and a white ribbon. But it looks charming just the same.

16. Even a Fightin’ Irish need some rest which this Notre Dame chair is well suited for.

This is a wooden chair painted with Notre Dame colors. And yes, the Fightin' Leprechaun is in the seat.

This is a wooden chair painted with Notre Dame colors. And yes, the Fightin’ Leprechaun is in the seat.

17. Any Oregon Duck fan will want to hang this decomesh wreath on their door.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as a ribbon. Love the decorations on this.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as two ribbons. Love the decorations on this.

18. Penn State will always remain with Nittany Lion fans forever.

Penn State fans seem to be that way for some reason, especially the alumni. Of course, my dad didn't care for Joe Pa he was a major reason why PSU didn't play Pitt for decades.

Penn State fans seem to be that way for some reason, especially the alumni. Of course, my dad didn’t care for Joe Pa he was a major reason why PSU didn’t play Pitt for decades.

19. For Purdue Boilermaker fans, this bottle lamp will light up a room.

Purdue is in Indiana. They're called the Boilermakers because of the railroad system. And their Boilermaker Special mascot is a nice, shiny train.

Purdue is in Indiana. They’re called the Boilermakers because of the railroad system. And their Boilermaker Special mascot is a nice, shiny train.

20. With old junk, you can make a charming Crimson Tide elephant.

This was made from old license plates and a shovel. I think it looks better than Alabama's real mascot.

This was made from old license plates and a shovel. I think it looks better than Alabama’s real mascot.

21. Longhorns fan should store their candy in this handy dispenser.

I've put a lot of these in various craft posts. But this seems to only require a flower pot and a fish bowl as far as I'm concerned.

I’ve put a lot of these in various craft posts. But this seems to only require a flower pot and a fish bowl as far as I’m concerned.

22. Iowa Hawkeye fans will want to cuddle with this Iowa pillow.

It's a pillow of the state of Iowa. And I guess the heart is where the University of Iowa is. Makes sense.

It’s a pillow of the state of Iowa. And I guess the heart is where the University of Iowa is. Makes sense.

23. This Alabama Crimson Tide wreath is great to hang anywhere.

This uses yarn and houndsooth ribbon as well as an "A" and flowers. Any Tide fan would want to roll with it.

This uses yarn and houndsooth ribbon as well as an “A” and flowers. Any Tide fan would want to roll with it.

24. Tell your Texas team to “Hook Em’ Horns” with this wreath.

Yes, it's a University of Texas decomesh wreath. No, I don't like the colors. But at least a Longhorn fan might enjoy it.

Yes, it’s a University of Texas decomesh wreath. No, I don’t like the colors. But at least a Longhorn fan might enjoy it.

25. A Michigan State Spartan fan must keep warm with a knitted hat like this.

It's a knitted Spartan hat. May not protect you in battle against the Persians. But will keep you warm in Michigan weather.

It’s a knitted Spartan hat. May not protect you in battle against the Persians. But will keep you warm in Michigan weather.

26. Any Auburn Tiger fan should have a floral wreath at their door.

Well, this is lovely. Love the ribbon and blue flowers. Gives a nice homey feel.

Well, this is lovely. Love the ribbon and blue flowers. Gives a nice homey feel.

27. For Gamecocks fans, this University of South Carolina wreath should suit your fancy.

If it wasn't for the darker red and the logo, I would've thought it was a Crimson Tide wreath. And yes, their team is called the Gamecocks. I did not make that up.

If it wasn’t for the darker red and the logo, I would’ve thought it was a Crimson Tide wreath. And yes, their team is called the Gamecocks. I did not make that up.

28. No Nittany Lion fan could ever resist this PSU wine glass.

Sure it's not as fancy as the Iowa wine glass. But it does have a certain charm to it. Like the ribbon.

Sure it’s not as fancy as the Iowa wine glass. But it does have a certain charm to it. Like the ribbon.

29. Light up the room at night with this wooden WVU lantern.

It's very simple but it's well painted with blue and yellow. Perfect for any Mountaineer fan.

It’s very simple but it’s well painted with blue and yellow. Perfect for any Mountaineer fan.

30. This yarn Michigan Wolverine wreath has an intricate floral design.

Guess it took a lot of time with the decorations. But it certainly looks lovely in front of the window.

Guess it took a lot of time with the decorations. But it certainly looks lovely in front of the window.

31. There’s nothing more quaint than a yarn Baylor wreath.

This wreath may use a green and yellow diamond pattern. But it's certainly a wonder to look at.

This wreath may use a green and yellow diamond pattern. But it’s certainly a wonder to look at.

32. Blue ribbons and baubles go great with a yellow WVU window frame.

That's very creative love the decor on this. Great to hang on the wall. Who knew West Virginians could be so creative?

Love the decor on this. Great to hang on the wall. Who knew West Virginians could be so creative?

33. This Notre Dame wreath will make a rustic addition to any Fightin’ Irish home.

Sure it might not be as showy as some of the wreaths. But I like the wooden panel as well as the ribbons on here.

Sure it might not be as showy as some of the wreaths. But I like the wooden panel as well as the ribbons on here.

34. This simple frame will satisfy any Crimson Tide fan.

It just has a lovely bow and "Bama." What more can a Tide fan want?

It just has a lovely bow and “Bama.” What more can a Tide fan want?

35. Auburn Tigers should carry their things in this bucket.

This is decorated in orange and navy blue polka dots. And it's lined with a striped orange ribbon.

This is decorated in orange and navy blue polka dots. And it’s lined with a striped orange ribbon.

36. This Nebraska Husker wreath is made of rather fine feathers.

Well, fake feathers, anyway. But you have to love how the decorated N really stands out.

Well, fake feathers, anyway. But you have to love how the decorated N really stands out.

37. Don’t worry this, LSU Tiger crab won’t hurt you.

Yes, it's a LSU crab and it's painted as a tiger for decorative purposes. I know what you're thinking but to me, it's cool.

Yes, it’s a LSU crab and it’s painted as a tiger for decorative purposes. I know what you’re thinking but to me, it’s cool.

38. Make your Spartan pride soar with this Michigan State bottle lamp.

I know it has an "S" on it. But it's representative of Michigan State. Don't ask me how that works.

I know it has an “S” on it. But it’s representative of Michigan State. Don’t ask me how that works.

39. Let the light in with this Michigan State Spartan suncatcher.

Of course, it's not really a craft project. But since some people do make their own suncatchers, I'll allow it.

Of course, it’s not really a craft project. But since some people do make their own suncatchers, I’ll allow it.

40. Georgia Southern Eagles fans should really enjoy a wreath like this.

I know the Georgia State Panthers isn't as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU's color scheme.

I know the Georgia Southern Eagles aren’t as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU’s color scheme.

41. Any Hawkeye fan could ever dream of having this Iowa table.

I think this was more of pet project and is probably not for sale. But I can see why they'd take pride in producing it.

I think this was more of pet project and is probably not for sale. But I can see why they’d take pride in producing it.

42. Any Wolverine fan would treasure this stained glass Michigan block.

This stained glass block is surely a gem. Like how the light shines through the blue and gold.

This stained glass block is surely a gem. Like how the light shines through the blue and gold.

43. A UCLA Bruins fan should keep their head snug with this crocheted cap.

Bruins are bears, by the way. Just so you didn't know that. Yet, the light blue and yellow go very well with the bear ears.

Bruins are bears, by the way. Just so you didn’t know that. Yet, the light blue and yellow go very well with the bear ears.

44. This striped LSU Tiger wreath certainly has character.

Yes, it may have a few flowers. But the real spirit in this wreath is in the purple and gold stripes.

Yes, it may have a few flowers. But the real spirit in this wreath is in the purple and gold stripes.

45. If your baby needs to rest on the go, this Mizzou cover will do quite nicely.

Well, that looks quite cute. Like the stripes on it. Very creative.

Well, that looks quite cute. Like the stripes on it. Very creative.

46. For Clemson Tiger fans, there’s nothing to hate about this wreath.

I think this person used letter tiles for this. Gives the wreath its whimsical charm.

I think this person used letter tiles for this. Gives the wreath its whimsical charm.

47. This Alabama Crimson Tide owl is certainly a hoot.

The owl is red with houndsooth wings. But fans will surely find it adorable.

The owl is red with houndsooth wings. But fans will surely find it adorable.

48. This Notre Dame bauble wreath will surely make the game a festive occasion.

The baubles may be made from glass and metal. But it's great for a Christmas decoration if the Fightin' Irish make the BCS Bowl series.

The baubles may be made from glass and metal. But it’s great for a Christmas decoration if the Fightin’ Irish make the BCS Bowl series.

49. Any FSU fan would envy anyone with a mosaic Seminole table.

Someone seems to have too much time on their hands to do this. But I do admire the craftsmanship.

Someone seems to have too much time on their hands to do this. But I do admire the craftsmanship.

50. Any Penn State football fan would adore these Nittany Lion nesting dolls.

Not sure who all these players are. But I do think these dolls are very well made.

Not sure who all these players are. But I do think these dolls are very well made. Lovely.

51. This LSU deco mesh wreath will make any game a party.

Sure it might not have any Mardi Gras beads. But it has tiger stripes on the letters so that's something.

Sure it might not have any Mardi Gras beads. But it has tiger stripes on the letters so that’s something.

52. A true Ohio State fan would certainly hang this buckeye wreath on their front door.

This is decorated with buckeye nuts and moss. Very fitting with the Ohio State spirit and very creative.

This is decorated with buckeye nuts and moss. Very fitting with the Ohio State spirit and very creative.

53. State College birds will rejoice with this Penn State birdhouse.

This one has a license plate over it. Not sure if it enhances the appeal. But Nittany Lion fans will enjoy it.

This one has a license plate over it. Not sure if it enhances the appeal. But Nittany Lion fans will enjoy it.

54. This glass window is sure to make any Georgia Bulldogs fan rejoice.

Yes, it's an old window that's decorated with Georgia Bulldog stuff. A must for any diehard fan.

Yes, it’s an old window that’s decorated with Georgia Bulldog stuff. A must for any diehard fan.

55. This little Ohio State lighthouse is sure to be a Buckeye delight.

This is a light that's made from flower pots. Like the lamp on the top as well as the painting.

This is a light that’s made from flower pots. Like the lamp on the top as well as the painting.

56. Nothing is more festive for a Notre Dame game than this Mardi Gras bead wreath.

An LSU one would've been more appropriate. But I really like this Notre Dame one for some reason. Perhaps blue and gold are a great combination.

An LSU one would’ve been more appropriate. But I really like this Notre Dame one for some reason. Perhaps blue and gold are a great combination.

57. This Iowa end table will go quite nicely at any Hawkeye home.

Has Iowa on all sides in wooden letters. And it's certainly well painted. Someone must have too much time on their hands.

Has Iowa on all sides in wooden letters. And it’s certainly well painted. Someone must have too much time on their hands.

58. Nittany Lions fans are bound to fawn over this Penn State wreath.

It's deco mesh with ribbons. But it also has a wooden Penn State panel in the center where it counts.

It’s deco mesh with ribbons. But it also has a wooden Penn State panel in the center where it counts.

59. These crocheted Purdue booties would be great for any little Boilermaker.

They even have Purdue ribbons along with the gold and black. So cute.

They even have Purdue ribbons along with the gold and black. So cute.

60. No little Mountaineer could resist this plush WVU rabbit.

Hell, this rabbit is so adorable that even parents might want it. Anyone WVU fan would want to cuddle with it. So cute.

Hell, this rabbit is so adorable that even parents might want it. Anyone WVU fan would want to cuddle with it. So cute.

61. Kick back and relax in these Michigan State Spartan lawn chairs.

They even come in a set with a Spartan head rest. Great for outdoor home tailgate parties.

They even come in a set with a Spartan head rest. Great for outdoor home tailgate parties.

62. Light up your Mountaineer nights with this WVU bottle light.

Seems to glow brighter than a couch fire in Morgantown. Love the blue ribbon.

Seems to glow brighter than a couch fire in Morgantown. Love the blue ribbon.

63. Any LSU Tiger fan could not resist these stained glass bottle lights.

Like how they have the purple paw prints with the LSU letters. Really brings out the light. Love these.

Like how they have the purple paw prints with the LSU letters. Really brings out the light. Love these.

64. Red and black go quite well with this wreath from Texas Tech.

Texas Tech University may not have team as popular as the Longhorns. But you have to admit, the Red Raiders have a great color scheme that works.

Texas Tech University may not have team as popular as the Longhorns. But you have to admit, the Red Raiders have a great color scheme that works.

65. This medal Auburn sign has the Tigers’ classic cry.

Not sure about the deal with "War Eagle!" is since their mascot is the Tiger. But I do love the ribbons and font on this.

Not sure about the deal with “War Eagle!” is since their mascot is the Tiger. But I do love the ribbons and font on this.

66. Wildcat fans would surely love to have this Kentucky rag wreath on their door.

Haven't had anything from the University of Kentucky on here yet. Still, this one has stripes as well as whimsical font to go with it.

Haven’t had anything from the University of Kentucky on here yet. Still, this one has stripes as well as whimsical font to go with it.

67. This fleur de lis door hanging will go well at any LSU Tiger house in Baton Rouge.

This one even has tiger stripe ribbons and purple deco mesh. Love it.

This one even has tiger stripe ribbons and purple deco mesh. Love it.

68. This Penn State wreath has a down home rustic charm.

Sure it might not use a lot of decorations. But the ribbon on the navy blue makes it so lovely.

Sure it might not use a lot of decorations. But the ribbon on the navy blue makes it so lovely.

69. This Michigan State quilt will keep any Spartan warm.

Like how they had a patchwork S. It's in green but has a certain charm to it if you ask me.

Like how they had a patchwork S. It’s in green but has a certain charm to it if you ask me.

70. Any child who loves the UCLA Bruins would want to cover up with this doll.

Well, it's not exactly a teddy bear. But it's adorable in a Tim Burtonesque sort of way. Cute.

Well, it’s not exactly a teddy bear. But it’s adorable in a Tim Burtonesque sort of way. Cute.

71. Keep warm during the Hawkeye game with this Iowa quilt.

Unlike some of the quilts I've seen, this one has a nice patchwork design. Like the Hawkeyes in the corners.

Unlike some of the quilts I’ve seen, this one has a nice patchwork design. Like the Hawkeyes in the corners.

72. As well all know, Notre Dame is the pride of old Indiana.

Of course, Notre Dame is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of Indiana. But the gold logo looks really cool in the blue background.

Of course, Notre Dame is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of Indiana. But the gold logo looks really cool in the blue background.

73. Ohio birds are sure to adore this Buckeye approved Ohio State birdhouse.

Yes, it may look like a small, wooden birdhouse. But the Ohio State logo surrounds the hole.

Yes, it may look like a small, wooden birdhouse. But the Ohio State logo surrounds the hole.

74. For a Texas A&M fan, this Aggie cross is a holy relic.

This is made of wood and has stripes on a panel. Yes, this is a Christian symbol but I'll allow it since it's a work of art.

This is made of wood and has stripes on a panel. Yes, this is a Christian symbol but I’ll allow it since it’s a work of art.

75. This WVU light post will lead you to Mountaineer country.

This lamp post might have blue arrows leading to where you need to go. Is quite quaint on any lawn. Love it.

This lamp post might have blue arrows leading to where you need to go. Is quite quaint on any lawn. Love it.

76. Black and red flowers go great on any Georgia Bulldog wreath.

For a team with a rather intimidating mascot, this is a very beautiful wreath. I'm sure any fan would enjoy this in their home.

For a team with a rather intimidating mascot, this is a very beautiful wreath. I’m sure any fan would enjoy this in their home.

77. Perhaps a Florida Gators fan can go with a more floral look.

The flowers may be fake in this but they're certainly lovely. Doesn't hurt if the gator is in the center.

The flowers may be fake in this but they’re certainly lovely. Doesn’t hurt if the gator is in the center.

78. Grace your front door with this Notre Dame wreath in full Fightin’ Irish glory.

Love how the gold logo stands out from the blue. Wouldn't mind having this at my door. Not sure if I'd want a Notre Dame one though.

Love how the gold logo stands out from the blue. Wouldn’t mind having this at my door. Not sure if I’d want a Notre Dame one though.

79. Mizzou Tiger fans can’t resist this wreath.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to some fans.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to what some fans may say.

80. No Seminole can’t resist this FSU flower pot football player.

Yes, this is an FSU flower pot person who's made from flower pots. And yes, it's certainly adorable.

Yes, this is an FSU flower pot person who’s made from flower pots. And yes, it’s certainly adorable.

NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise

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Here am I in my University of Florida Gator snuggie I received from an uncle of mine who lives in Panama City, Florida. Sure it’s not appropriate for summer weather. So I only wore it for the photo. Then again, considering that the University of Florida doesn’t have a lot of cold weather, this Gator snuggie is perfect for my opening post picture.

As I said before, college sports is a huge business in the United States despite that practically all college athletes don’t get paid in any tangible currency. Sure they’re supposed to receive an education from the school. But plenty barely have any time for that, particularly if they’re Division I. Nevertheless, since college sports are incredibly popular, it should surprise nobody that you’ll find a lot of college sports crap if you look hard enough. Yes, I know that colleges make money from ticket sales, tuition payments, contributions, and the like. But as long as there are people willing to buy overpriced crap, they might as well reap in the benefits. Besides, in college sports, it’s usually the brand that’s more important than the players since they’re only in the programs for up to 4 years before graduation anyway. Hell, some don’t even graduate if they become eligible for the pros (despite that this doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, there’s a strong chance they may not be nearly the star player they once were in their college days. Just ask Heisman winner Tim Tebow). Nevertheless, I can go along with showing you all the jerseys and other items they sell. But you’d probably be bored with it. So instead, I’ll show you items that might make you scratch your head since few would even consider buying something like that at all. Most of these items are from Division I schools naturally.

  1. Take your little one to the big game with this purple and gold LSU stroller.
Not sure about you. But I don't think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It's not very kid friendly environment and they'd probably be whiny the whole time.

Not sure about you. But I don’t think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It’s not very kid friendly environment and they’d probably be whiny the whole time.

2. This Penn State bar counter is perfect for tailgating at Happy Valley.

That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it's not worth it.

That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it’s not worth it.

3. This Oregon hoodie allows you to carry a beer bottle in your pocket.

However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.

However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.

4. Sing the blues when your team loses with this WVU acoustic guitar.

Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won't lead to calling the fire department.

Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won’t lead to calling the fire department.

5. No LSU fan’s home is complete without a Tiger toilet seat.

This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it's made from solid wood and intricately carved.

This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it’s made from solid wood and intricately carved.

6. Get your pet in the Buckeye spirit with this Ohio State feed bowl holder.

Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would've been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.

Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would’ve been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.

7. Have your baby show Wildcat pride on March Madness with this University of Kentucky blinky.

For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren't worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It's cheaper.

For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren’t worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It’s cheaper.

8. Stomp in support for your Nittany Lions with these Penn State cowboy boots.

I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!

I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!

9. This chic University of Kentucky sequin purse is Wildcat approved.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.

10. Ladies, show your Duck pride with this University of Oregon sequin bra.

Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don't know if that's worse.

Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don’t know if that’s worse.

11. Texas Longhorn fans will surely adore these University of Texas wedding garters.

Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don't understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It's crazy.

Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don’t understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It’s crazy.

12. Light it up this summer with this geometric Notre Dame fire dome.

Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.

Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.

13. Show your Buckeye pride with these Ohio State lawn frogs.

I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That's just a whole another level.

I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That’s just a whole another level.

14. Now you can know how cold it is in Columbus with this Ohio State gnome thermometer.

I don't know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn't hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.

I don’t know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn’t hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.

15. Put your Wildcats on your toast with this University of Kentucky branding toaster.

Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.

Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.

16. Propose to your Buckeye girlfriend with this Ohio State engagement ring.

Then again, guys, on second thought, don't. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn't mean you should. Because it might backfire.

Then again, guys, on second thought, don’t. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn’t mean you should. Because it might backfire.

17. Keep your drink at your side when watching the Fightin’ Irish with this Notre Dame hip flask.

And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.

And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.

18. Grace your living room with this stained glass Mizzou Tiger lamp.

Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.

Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.

19. Keep your basement well furnished on game day with this set of Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish bar stools.

Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it's not as bad as with the hip flask.

Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it’s not as bad as with the hip flask. Great for any Irish pub.

20. Fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide will enjoy this commemorative golf set.

Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn't mean they like golf, too. Just saying.

Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn’t mean they like golf, too. Just saying.

21. Show support for your Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium with this digital jersey pin.

It's a pin that has an on going message saying, "Go Nittany Lions!" Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.

It’s a pin that has an on going message saying, “Go Nittany Lions!” Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.

22. Nothing makes a night worth remembering than a bonfire in a Texas Longhorn fire pit.

Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that's beside the point.

Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that’s beside the point.

23. Why carry your stadium seat and cooler separately, when this USC cooler knapsack lets you do both in one piece?

Now that's very convenient. However, you'll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.

Now that’s very convenient. However, you’ll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.

24. This Penn State pocket watch makes a great gift for any Nittany Lion fan.

Well, if he's your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I'm not sure.

Well, if he’s your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I’m not sure.

25. Show your Crimson Tide spirit in your truck with these Alabama University truck mats.

Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.

Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.

26. Wipe your mess clean at the game with these NCAA licensed paper towels.

Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.

Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.

27. Keep yourself warm and snug at the games with this LSU Tiger snuggie.

Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it's kind of ugly.

Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it’s kind of ugly.

28. Now you can move around with ease in this Ohio State motor scooter.

Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I've never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.

Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I’ve never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.

29. You’re always ready for tailgating with this USC picnic set.

For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn't seem like it.

For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn’t seem like it.

30. Now you can make your home smell like a lucky shamrock with this Notre Dame scented candle.

Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn't make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.

Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn’t make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.

31. Get comfortable watching the Panthers with this University of Pittsburgh helmet armchair.

Seems a bit high, don't you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.

Seems a bit high, don’t you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.

32. Make your Iowa University tailgating complete with this Hawkeye portable grill.

Then again, it might've been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that's just my opinion.

Then again, it might’ve been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that’s just my opinion.

33. Mountaineer fans can enjoy endless fun with WVU Monopoly.

It's like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that's a crazy WVU tradition.

It’s like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that’s a crazy WVU tradition.

34. Always be ready for anything with this USC Trojan toolbox.

 

Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don't think it includes the kind of tools you'll need to build a massive wooden horse though.

Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don’t think it includes the kind of tools you’ll need to build a massive wooden horse though.

35. Nothing makes you more pumped for an Oregon Duck game like these tye die shirts.

I'm sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn't say they couldn't be sports fans, too.

I’m sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn’t say they couldn’t be sports fans, too.

36. Now you can support your Ducks in the comfort of your home with one of these Oregon armchairs.

Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?

Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?

37. It’s not a day of Penn State football without this Nittany Lion pigskin toaster.

Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you'd think it's necessary is beyond me.

Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you’d think it’s necessary is beyond me.

38. Keep yourself warm this winter with some blue hot chocolate from the University of Florida.

Because you're bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance?

Because you’re bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance than on a beverage that might make your lips and tongue look like you’re suffering from hypothermia?

39. Step out in style in these LSU jeweled high-heeled shoes.

I don't know about you. But I'd rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.

I don’t know about you. But I’d rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.

40. May your bathroom be a tribute to your team with this Mizzou Tigers toilet.

Now that's one of the most tacky toilets I've ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That's insane.

Now that’s one of the most tacky toilets I’ve ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That’s insane.

41. Keep your home secure with your very own Alabama Crimson Tide handgun.

Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn't exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there's a reason why Texas professors don't want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever.

Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn’t exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there’s a reason why Texas professors don’t want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever. Also, hope they don’t have one for Virginia Tech.

42. Support your college team from beyond the grave in this LSU casket.

Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it's ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there's a demand.

Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there’s a demand.

43. Drink like a true Nittany lion fan with these Penn State light up reusable ice cubes.

Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don't ask me how that works.

Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don’t ask me how that works. They also light up.

44. Enjoy the great stadium popcorn taste at game day with your very own University of Kentucky popcorn maker.

Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.

Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.

45. Now you can fish with Mountaineer pride if you have this WVU fishing lure.

Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I'm not sure if you'll find fish in there at all.

Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I’m not sure if you’ll find fish in there at all.

46. Keep your food nice and cool with your very own Ohio State refrigerator.

College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don't think anyone's buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.

College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don’t think anyone’s buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.

47. This Christmas, make sure your kids are well behaved with this University of Kentucky Elf on the Shelf.

And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.

And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.

48. Get your drinks during tailgating with this LSU R2-D2 drink server.

To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it's pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it's near younger college students.

To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it’s pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it’s near younger college students.

49. Keep yourself warm at Happy Valley with these Penn State heavy duty Nike gloves.

Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.

Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.

50. Make bath time so much fun with this Nittany Lion duck from Penn State.

Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear.

Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear. Seriously, why?

51. Keep your wine at hand with this Iowa Hawkeyes high heeled wine holder.

I don't understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tackier, especially with encrusted gems.

I don’t understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tacky as hell, especially with encrusted gems.

52. Step out at any time of the year in this Syracuse adjustable dress.

Well, at least this one doesn't have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What it's secret?

Well, at least this one doesn’t have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What its secret?

53. Keep your hair nice and neat with your very own Florida Gators straightener.

So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn't a regular straightener do just fine?

So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn’t a regular straightener do just fine?

54. Come to the game in style with a pair of University of Tennessee sunglasses.

By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it's crazy, right?

By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it’s crazy, right?

55. Ladies, keep yourself in the team spirit with these NCAA nail polish sets.

Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?

Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?

56. These NCAA candle warmers are just what everyone needs.

I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn't that what a flame is supposed to do?

I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn’t that what a flame is supposed to do?

57. Nothing looks better on a cake in West Virginia than this WVU burning couch candle.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration is now a candle. And there's plenty of wax to go around.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration of vandalism is now a candle. And there’s plenty of wax to go around.

58. Nothing looks better in a Florida State Seminole fan’s cabinet than this commemorative FSU decanter set.

Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn't take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of ironic.

Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn’t take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of inappropriate for a Seminoles fan.

59. This Penn State collectible gas station shelf provides sufficient storage space.

I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.

I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.

60. Light it up in your home with this stained glass LSU helmet lamp.

I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn't. So here's the LSU Tiger one.

I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn’t. So here’s the LSU Tiger one.

61. I’m sure any woman Texas Longhorn fan would want a bouquet of roses like these.

Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University's isn't one of them.

Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University’s isn’t one of them.

62. Get some outdoor rest in this LSU canopy hammock.

Think I might've featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.

Think I might’ve featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.

63. This Iowa Hawkeye fridge comes with a tap for serving drinks.

Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.

Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.

64. At Michigan State, Juke ‘Em is a football card game.

Not sure how this is played or whether it's present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.

Not sure how this is played or whether it’s present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.

65. No Penn State bathroom should be complete without a Nittany Lion shower curtain.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I'm not sure if these should be on the market. Of course, perhaps I should've kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn't resist.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I’m not sure if these should be on the market and I’ll just leave you at that. Of course, perhaps I should’ve kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn’t resist. Now I feel terrible.

66. This Fightin’ Irish bar sign will certainly light up a room.

Seems like something you'd see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.

Seems like something you’d see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.

67. Now you can watch your Mountaineers on your very own WVU couch.

Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.

Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.

68. Tailgating at Wisconsin University has never been so much fun than with this football helmet drink dispenser.

I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven't featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.

I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven’t featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.

69. Your little ones feel snug and warm in these Florida Gator booties.

Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they'll ever be used on the Florida University campus.

Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they’ll ever be used on the Florida University campus.

70. Now your pooch can show support for the Tar Heels with this North Carolina cheerleading outfit.

It's one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don't understand.

It’s one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don’t understand.

71. Your little one can’t go to a Michigan Wolverine tailgating party without this high chair.

I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.

I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.

72. Make your place more interesting with this FSU hat and face.

Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn't have a head for God's sake. Don't know why they thought it was a good idea.

Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn’t have a head for God’s sake. Don’t know why they thought it was a good idea.

73. Any Wolverine football fan will sure adore this Michigan Mr. Potato Head.

Seems like there's a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.

Seems like there’s a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.

74. No female Wolverine fan should go without their very own Michigan football purse.

Yes, it's a purse shaped like a football. No, I'm not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.

Yes, it’s a purse shaped like a football. No, I’m not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.

75. Keep your dog safe in warm in these fleece Michigan Wolverine pajamas.

This dog seems to have this: "Kill me now" look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don't even wear them.

This dog seems to have this: “Kill me now” look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don’t even wear them. Besides they have something to keep them warm through the night anyway. It’s called fur.

76. Keep your kid safe in the car with this Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish car seat.

Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.

Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.

77. Get in the Christmas spirit with these Michigan State Spartan candy canes on your tree.

I'm sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.

I’m sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.

78. Have your little one snuggle up with their very own Dream Lite Otto the Orange from Syracuse.

Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can't really explain.

Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can’t really explain.

79. Have hours of Nittany Lion fun with this Penn State arcade game machine.

Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.

Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.

80. Always know where the wind is blowing with your very own Ohio State weather vane.

Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn't even if you're a diehard Buckeyes fans.

Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn’t even if you’re a diehard Buckeyes fan.

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire

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Since I went to Saint Vincent College, I decided to dress in my alma mater’s attire. Here I am with a Saint Vincent College football hat as well as my March of the Bearcats jacket, polo, and basketball T-shirt. Yes, it’s a Division III school, but it’s in the spirit of the article. After all, this is about school spirit anyway.

In late August, it’s not unusual to see college kids moving into their dorms on campus with freshman doing so for the first time. However, it’s very likely that the college athletes have already moved back on campus and are preparing for another season, particularly football players. And if they’re on a Division I team, then they’re probably under a lot of pressure to do their best that some of them may not have the time to do any actual schoolwork. Let’s just say going to a Division I school on a full athletic scholarship isn’t nearly what it’s cracked up to be. And that’s nearly getting into how the NCAA profits from these kids tremendously despite that they don’t even pay them a dime. Anyway, in America, college sports are big business and sometimes it’s not unusual for people to feel more loyalty to their college teams than their pro teams. It may be because they went to the school themselves like my dad with Slippery Rock or me with Saint Vincent. Sometimes it might be because the college is within a closer geographic proximity which I think is the case with many WVU and Crimson Tide fans since West Virginia and Alabama don’t have any Big 4 pro sports teams within their state. Not to mention, there are more college teams than pro teams. Yet, these colleges do have their fans and some of them can be outright crazy. And that’s where I come in to show you some of the craziest college fans decked in their ridiculous game day finest so you can see for yourself. Because although I may not be a big sports fan, I do know that college sports are very popular that people would go to these ridiculous lengths to support their team. So for your college reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of wacky college sports fans to enjoy. Most of them will be from Division I schools, naturally.

  1. Seems like Dumbledore or Gandalf the White made a presence at Happy Valley.
I think he was wearing this during a white out PSU game. But the wizard beard and body paint is just the same.

I think he was wearing this during a white out PSU game. But the wizard beard and body paint is just the same.

2. This South Florida woman is totally pumped to see her beloved Bulls.

And she has a horn hat as well as painted her whole body to prove it. Okay, she's wearing a camisole, but still. This is over the top.

And she has a horn hat as well as painted her whole body to prove it. Okay, she’s wearing a camisole, but still. This is over the top.

3. At the University of Michigan, all this guy needs is body paint, a helmet, and shoulder pads to support his Wolverines.

Yes, this guy is in full regalia as we know it. Still, he doesn't have a nice message for Ohio State at any rate.

Yes, this guy is in full regalia as we know it. Still, he doesn’t have a nice message for Ohio State at any rate.

4. Introducing  the Pitt Penguin.

Okay, he's not a player for the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins. He's just a fan of the Pitt Panthers in a penguin suit. Yes, I know it looks ridiculous.

Okay, he’s not a player for the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins. He’s just a fan of the Pitt Panthers in a penguin suit. Yes, I know it looks ridiculous.

5. These Happy Valley bunnies have come out on a winter’s day to support their Nittnay Lions.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn't hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny suits. Love it.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn’t hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny pajama suits. Love it.

6. The biggest WVU fans always go with their full body paint on.

WVU fans are a particular lot in the college landscape. The Mountaineer football team has a very passionate fanbase. It's also said that a lot of fans have taken up the practice of couch burning.

WVU fans are a particular lot in the college landscape. The Mountaineer football team has a very passionate fanbase. It’s also said that a lot of fans have taken up the practice of couch burning.

7. This Montana fan has got his war paint on.

And he seems to have rather ornate shoulder pads to match. Like how he has the hand print on his face.

And he seems to have rather ornate shoulder pads to match. Like how he has the hand print on his face.

8. Here we have a Florida State Seminole fan in full war bonnet attire with a Northern Illinois husky admirer.

Just for the record, I don't condone the Seminole wearing the war bonnet and fully understand that it's highly offensive to Native Americans. However, since this is a college fan post, his ridiculous war bonnet attire is so over the top that I just couldn't resist leaving it out.

Just for the record, I don’t condone the Seminole wearing the war bonnet and fully understand that it’s highly offensive to Native Americans. However, since this is a college fan post, his ridiculous war bonnet attire is so over the top that I just couldn’t resist leaving it out.

9. A fan from the University of Kansas can’t be fully dressed without a feather headdress.

Kansas U's mascot is the Jayhawk. And yes, this is fairly offensive to Native Americans but equally outrageous. Yet, I think it's golden.

Kansas U’s mascot is the Jayhawk. And yes, this is fairly offensive to Native Americans but equally outrageous. Yet, I think it’s golden.

10. This Pitt girl bares her midriff even when it’s snowing outside.

Yeah, I know bare midriffs aren't a great idea in snowy weather. But I do like her Panther hat and makeup though.

Yeah, I know bare midriffs aren’t a great idea in snowy weather. But I do like her Panther hat and makeup though.

11. To this guy from the University of New Hampshire, the Wildcats are always #1 in hockey.

Doesn't hurt that he's wearing a puck hat to boot. Also he painted his face white and light blue.

Doesn’t hurt that he’s wearing a puck hat to boot. Also he painted his face white and light blue.

12. At Louisiana State, a mother always tries to foster her love for the Tigers to her daughter.

However, I'm not sure going to an LSU game topless in body paint is a good idea. Because body paint is no substitute for a shirt in my opinion.

However, I’m not sure going to an LSU game topless in body paint is a good idea. Because body paint is no substitute for a shirt in my opinion.

13. At the University of South Carolina, this man dons his chicken hat with pride.

South Carolina's mascot is the game cock which is a chicken once used in the now illegal practice of cockfighting. Yes, you read that right. Don't ask me, that's how they call it.

South Carolina’s mascot is the game cock which is a chicken once used in the now illegal practice of cockfighting. Yes, you read that right. Don’t ask me, that’s how they call it.

14. This Arkansas fan is a true hog’s head in the making.

The University of Arkansas's mascot is a razorback which is an aggressive wild pig. And the rap pigs get, razorbacks can be downright nasty.

The University of Arkansas’s mascot is a razorback which is an aggressive wild pig. And the rap pigs get, razorbacks can be downright nasty.

15. This Temple fan dons a red sombrero to support the Owls.

Contrary to the sombrero, Temple is a college in Philadelphia. Also, owls are cool, by the way.

Contrary to the sombrero, Temple is a college in Philadelphia. Also, owls are cool, by the way.

16. These University of Cincinnati fans are decked with all the bells and whistles.

Well, they have red and black shoulder pads along with crazy hats. But they'll do for this fan post. Also, Cinci's mascot is a bearcat which isn't a fierce creature by any stretch.

Well, they have red and black shoulder pads along with crazy hats. But they’ll do for this fan post. Also, Cinci’s mascot is a bearcat which isn’t a fierce creature by any stretch.

17. This Central Florida fan shows his pride for the Knights by painting himself in gold.

Like the navy blue touches, blue wig, and pom poms. This guy has great talent. Must be a repressed art major.

Like the navy blue touches, blue wig, and pom poms. This guy has great talent. Must be a repressed art major.

18. Have you ever met a Florida Gator head?

Now this is the kind of Florida Gator we all should be rooting for. And I favor this one over the obnoxious Tim Tebow any day of the week. Love it.

Now this is the kind of Florida Gator we all should be rooting for. And I favor this one over the obnoxious Tim Tebow any day of the week. Love it.

19. At Mississippi State University, someone seems to take “Respect the Bell” to a whole new level.

He also tends to take "more cowbell" to a whole new level as well. Since he's dressed like one. Wonder how he sits and goes to the bathroom.

He also tends to take “more cowbell” to a whole new level as well. Since he’s dressed like one. Wonder how he sits and goes to the bathroom.

20. This Louisville fan wears his Cardinal pride on his face.

That is a great make up job if I ever saw one. Almost looks like a cardinal face. Awesome.

That is a great make up job if I ever saw one. Almost looks like a cardinal face. Awesome.

21. Check out this man’s Iowa suit.

Well, it's a hawk suit and striped coveralls. And it's tacky as can be. But at least he's in the Iowa spirit of things.

Well, it’s a hawk suit and striped coveralls. And it’s tacky as can be. But at least he’s in the Iowa spirit of things.

22. On game day, LSU Tiger fans go all out.

LSU fans tend to be a little crazier college sports fans than some of the other schools for some reason. But I like the purple kilt in this.

LSU fans tend to be a little crazier college sports fans than some of the other schools for some reason. But I like the purple kilt in this.

23. These Kansas State fans want to scare the death out of their enemies on the stands.

Yes, they may be wearing purple skull heads. But they're probably as harmless as can be. They're just supporting their Wildcats at the game.

Yes, they may be wearing purple skull heads. But they’re probably as harmless as can be. They’re just supporting their Wildcats at the game.

24. He may only wear a barrel but at the University of Wyoming, he’s having a barrel of fun.

Yes, there's a University of Wyoming and their team is the Cowboys. Yet, their color scheme is different from the NFL Dallas team. So there's nothing to worry about.

Yes, there’s a University of Wyoming and their team is the Cowboys. Yet, their color scheme is different from the NFL Dallas team. So there’s nothing to worry about.

25. At the VCU basketball game, these Ram fans go with clown wigs and beads.

The "Save Shaka Smart" on their foam hands refers to the team's head coach at the time who led the Rams to a winning season as well as the NCAA Men's Final Four. However, he didn't stay for long and is now coaching for the University of Texas.

The “Save Shaka Smart” on their foam hands refers to the team’s head coach at the time who led the Rams to a winning season as well as the NCAA Men’s Final Four. However, he didn’t stay for long and is now coaching for the University of Texas.

26. Hope you’re not scared by this Virginia Tech clown.

Then again, since he can induce nightmares, I think he might make a better VT mascot than the one they have now. Still pretty scary, though.

Then again, since he can induce nightmares, I think he might make a better VT mascot than the one they have now. Still pretty scary, though.

27. At Virginia Commonwealth University, these guys are pumped for the Rowdy Rams.

I hope my sister likes these guys since they're from her school in Richmond. One of them is even dressed like Hulk Hogan and another guy is wearing a kilt.

I hope my sister likes these guys since they’re from her school in Richmond. One of them is even dressed like Hulk Hogan and another guy is wearing a kilt.

28. Iowa Hawk couples who see games together stay together.

And yes, they dress up in ridiculous costumes together. Like the woman's beak and braids which I think are perfect.

And yes, they dress up in ridiculous costumes together. Like the woman’s beak and braids which I think are perfect.

29. Who knew they crowdsurfed in the Navy?

Well, the military branch academies do compete in the NCAA Div. I athletics. But I'm not sure if they count as colleges. Nevertheless, love the blue hair.

Well, the military branch academies do compete in the NCAA Div. I athletics. But I’m not sure if they count as colleges. Nevertheless, love the blue hair.

30. Oklahoma Sooner fans dress in full clown attire for their team.

Yes, I know they look like a couple of clowns in pajamas. But I've seen fans in more ridiculous outfits than that. You'll probably find this amusing though.

Yes, I know they look like a couple of clowns in pajamas. But I’ve seen fans in more ridiculous outfits than that. You’ll probably find this amusing though.

31. At Tennessee, even the cafeteria chefs come out to support their Volunteers.

Doesn't hurt that he has a Tennessee apron and chef's hat to match. But among all the orange, he certainly stands out.

Doesn’t hurt that he has a Tennessee apron and chef’s hat to match. But among all the orange, he certainly stands out.

32. Once a Texas Longhorn man, always a Texas Longhorn man.

He even has a Longhorn hat with players' signatures on it. Must be a real fan to go that far.

He even has a Longhorn hat with players’ signatures on it. Must be a real fan to go that far.

33. This Notre Dame fan goes all out to show pride for his Fightin’ Irish.

Not sure what to think about having Winnie the Pooh in his crotch area. But he wears a nice Irish flag suit.

Not sure what to think about having Winnie the Pooh in his crotch area. But he wears a nice Irish flag suit.

34. At WVU, this woman is willing to go full Mountaineer on game day.

After all, she's dressed in buckskin attire, complete with coonskin cap and fringes. She even carries a stick for good measure.

After all, she’s dressed in buckskin attire, complete with coonskin cap and fringes. She even carries a stick for good measure.

35. These Florida Vikings seem a little disappointed.

But at least they dressed in crocheted Viking hats with beards. Looks ridiculous but should keep them warm.

But at least they dressed in crocheted Viking hats with beards. Looks ridiculous but should keep them warm.

36. From Texas A&M, I give you the Aggie hat.

Like how she used small plush cows for it along with signs. So clever.

Like how she used small plush cows for it along with signs. So clever.

37. This Volunteer fan paints himself with orange and white on game day.

Yes, he's from Tennessee. And yes he wanted his paint job to match his hair. Because he's cheering for the Volunteers.

Yes, he’s from Tennessee. And yes he wanted his paint job to match his hair. Because he’s cheering for the Volunteers.

38. At Kansas State, this man will do anything to see his Wildcats win.

Even if it means, resorting to crazy hair styles and coming to games with a cow skull. Yes, he's willing to try anything.

Even if it means, resorting to crazy hair styles and coming to games with a cow skull. Yes, he’s willing to try anything.

39. At South Florida, you’re bound to find some creative fans during the tailgate parties.

Of course, these guys consist of two men in sparkly body paint an a guy in a grass skirt and pom pom bra. Yes, you have fans like that.

Of course, these guys consist of two men in sparkly body paint an a guy in a grass skirt and pom pom bra. Yes, you have fans like that.

40. This guy goes for the Miami Canes all the way.

And he's decked in Miami Hurricane colors like a true South Floridian. Even has glasses to match.

And he’s decked in Miami Hurricane colors like a true South Floridian. Even has glasses to match.

41. Didn’t know Dorothy, Thing 1, and Thing 2 were huge Boise State fans.

Odd, since I'd imagine Dorothy to support a college team in Kansas since she's from there. As for Thing 1 and Thing 2, I think they're both guys. But to each his own.

Odd, since I’d imagine Dorothy to support a college team in Kansas since she’s from there. As for Thing 1 and Thing 2, I think they’re both guys. But to each his own.

42. These Oregon Ducks fans will rock and roll all night on game day.

They even have the Kiss faces with green and yellow makeup. And they're wearing matching wigs, too.

They even have the Kiss faces with green and yellow makeup. And they’re wearing matching wigs, too.

43. These Texas Longhorn women wear their team spirit on their hair.

Yes, that's Texas Longhorn hair. And yes, you'd more or less expect in in Dr. Seuss. But at least it's in the spirit of things.

Yes, that’s Texas Longhorn hair. And yes, you’d more or less expect in in Dr. Seuss. But at least it’s in the spirit of things.

44. This Kansas Jayhawks fan is a bit blue.

Okay, so his team lost. Big deal. But I do like how he's wearing a Jayhawk outfit though.

Okay, so his team lost. Big deal. But I do like how he’s wearing a Jayhawk outfit though.

45. As Darth Vader said at Texas, “May the horns be with you.”

Okay, he may not have said "May the Force be with you" in Star Wars. But it's in the spirit.

Okay, he may not have said “May the Force be with you” in Star Wars. But it’s in the spirit.

46. At Ohio State, Big Nut is a self-professed member of the 6th Man Club.

Of course, Ohio State is better known for football than basketball. But it's a great picture that I couldn't resist.

Of course, Ohio State is better known for football than basketball. But it’s a great picture that I couldn’t resist.

47. Stripes and spots really stand out for this University of Georgia fan.

Yes, I know it looks tacky. But what does he care? He's there to support his Bulldogs.

Yes, I know it looks tacky. But what does he care? He’s there to support his Bulldogs.

48. This Crimson Tide fan is always an Alabama boy at heart.

Yes, that's a guy in football gear and coveralls. Don't ask me how he got that idea. But he makes it work.

Yes, that’s a guy in football gear and coveralls. Don’t ask me how he got that idea. But he makes it work.

49. A big foam cowboy hat will surely stand out at Oregon.

Sure it makes you look like an idiot. But at least his hat matches with his jacket. I'll give him that.

Sure it makes you look like an idiot. But at least his hat matches with his jacket. I’ll give him that.

50. At the University of Miami, these two guys show their spirit other fans can’t even fathom.

Yes, one has a horned ibis helmet while the other has a Bane mask. But they have their flags and banners on full display.

Yes, one has a horned ibis helmet while the other has a Bane mask. But they have their flags and banners on full display.

51. This Boston College fan wears his hat to show his Eagle pride.

Now that hat is just so unreal. Just looks like a small carousel. Someone must have too much time on his hands.

Now that hat is just so unreal. Just looks like a small carousel. Someone must have too much time on his hands.

52. For the Florida State Seminoles, this woman dresses in full buckskin attire.

Yes, she loves the Florida State Seminoles so much that she's willing to practice cultural appropriation to show her team spirit. Yes, Native Americans, I give you permission to facepalm at this time. Yes, it's very offensive and something you shouldn't do at a football game.

Yes, she loves the Florida State Seminoles so much that she’s willing to practice cultural appropriation to show her team spirit. Yes, Native Americans, I give you permission to facepalm at this time. Yes, it’s very offensive and something you shouldn’t do at a football game.

53. These Boise fans come dressed in their finest feathered hats.

Of course, one is dressed as a pimp which is kind of insulting to blacks. But that's beside the point. Like the other guy's shoulder pads though.

Of course, one is dressed as a pimp which is kind of insulting to blacks. But that’s beside the point. Like the other guy’s shoulder pads though.

54. These Ohio State Buckeye fans know how to show pride in the stands.

Love how all are in their Buckeye regalia for the game. One of them even has a buckeye necklace. Love it.

Love how all are in their Buckeye regalia for the game. One of them even has a buckeye necklace. Love it.

55. These cuddly Baylor Bears have come to watch a basketball game.

Helps that Baylor's mascot is a bear. Still, the faces are cuddly but it's hard to find a guy in an animal costume adorable. But this isn't bad.

Helps that Baylor’s mascot is a bear. Still, the faces are cuddly but it’s hard to find a guy in an animal costume adorable. But this isn’t bad.

56. Hey, it’s the guys from Duck Dynasty at Saint Louis.

Okay, these are people dressed up like characters from Duck Dynasty. Like the one in the balloon hat the best.

Okay, these are people dressed up like characters from Duck Dynasty. Like the one in the balloon hat the best.

57. Seems like a VCU basketball game is one fit for a Pharaoh.

And he's in the King Tut headdress to match his stripped sleeves to boot. Wonder what my sister will think about this.

And he’s in the King Tut headdress to match his stripped sleeves to boot. Wonder what my sister will think about this.

58. Missouri University always tries to project a friendly face.

These are members of the Missouri band dressed up as Sesame Street characters in the stands. Yes, they seem to be having a good time.

These are members of the Missouri band dressed up as Sesame Street characters in the stands. Yes, they seem to be having a good time.

59. This Alabama fan knows that his Crimson Tide are the champs.

And champions the Crimson Tide certainly are. Mostly because the BCS system is rigged in their favor.

And champions the Crimson Tide certainly are. Mostly because the BCS system is rigged in their favor.

60. At Gonzaga, this guy goes all the way for his Bulldogs.

And yes, he's in a clown and cape attire for good measure. Kind of wish there was a March Madness fan tournament where the more outrageous costume wins the round.

And yes, he’s in a clown and cape attire for good measure. Kind of wish there was a March Madness fan tournament where the more outrageous costume wins the round.

61. At Oregon State, these nuns will pray for God’s wrath on anyone who doesn’t support their team.

Yes, they're guys dressed as nuns. But as a Catholic, I don't find their outfits offensive. In fact, I think they're quite clever to tell you the truth.

Yes, they’re guys dressed as nuns. But as a Catholic, I don’t find their outfits offensive. In fact, I think they’re quite clever to tell you the truth.

62. You can’t go to an Oregon Ducks game without a Oregon clam bra.

Yeah, I know what that girl is thinking about sitting next to a guy dressed like that. But I think the Oregon shell bra is quite clever and hilarious.

Yeah, I know what that girl is thinking about sitting next to a guy dressed like that. But I think the Oregon shell bra is quite clever and hilarious.

63. Hey, is there a smurf in the crowd?

This is a scene from Duke where the fans paint themselves with blue body paint. I know it's ridiculous but it's a tradition.

This is a scene from Duke where the fans paint themselves with blue body paint. I know it’s ridiculous but it’s a tradition. Don’t ask me.

64. This University Washington fan is trying to take a picture from a king’s eye view.

Guess someone wants a good view of the Huskies. Even in a crown and gold mask which seems more suitable for Mardi Gras than anything.

Guess someone wants a good view of the Huskies. Even in a crown and gold mask which seems more suitable for Mardi Gras than anything.

65. Hope these LSU fans are able to cash in but it seems unlikely.

Yes, these are guys dressed as pimps. I don't know why they do that. But they look ridiculous enough that they go on this post.

Yes, these are guys dressed as pimps. I don’t know why they do that. But they look ridiculous enough that they go on this post.

66. This Alabama fan is willing to roll in the Tide.

Like how the guy is wearing a Tide box hat with 2 rolls of toilet paper. Seems quite simple compared to the other fans on this post.

Like how the guy is wearing a Tide box hat with 2 rolls of toilet paper. Seems quite simple compared to the other fans on this post.

67. Yes, there’s no doubt that Oregon fans are bananas.

These two even dress in Oregon banana suits for the Ducks. Yes, I know it defies some degree of logic.

These two even dress in Oregon banana suits for the Ducks. Yes, I know it defies some degree of logic.

68. Today, I introduce you to none other than Florida Gator Man.

He even comes with a long gator tail to show his prowess. And to slap around fans from the other team. He never fails.

He even comes with a long gator tail to show his prowess. And to slap around fans from the other team. He never fails.

69. Oregon Ducks should know better than mess with Oregon Vader.

Because he really doesn't take it kindly when the Ducks lose. Players might want to stay on his good side.

Because he really doesn’t take it kindly when the Ducks lose. Players might want to stay on his good side.

70. Didn’t know the Joker was a Georgia Bulldogs fan.

However, I wouldn't want to sit near the Joker in the stands. Has a reputation for being pretty insane.

However, I wouldn’t want to sit near the Joker in the stands. Has a reputation for being pretty insane.

71. So this is what it’s like to be a Volunteer in a pool of Gators.

So Florida was the home team in this game against Tennessee? Makes sense.

So Florida was the home team in this game against Tennessee? Makes sense but the Gator fans don’t seem too happy.

72. At Pitt, some fans live the blue and gold.

And yes, he seems to be wanting to lead the crowd into the Pitt Panthers spirit. Even if he looks totally ridiculous for the occasion.

And yes, he seems to be wanting to lead the crowd into the Pitt Panthers spirit. Even if he looks totally ridiculous for the occasion.

73. At LSU, this man goes for the full Tiger suit.

Yes, the outfit looks totally hideous and not something you'd want to wear on the street. But this guy is supporting his team. Don't judge him.

Yes, the outfit looks totally hideous and not something you’d want to wear on the street. But this guy is supporting his team. Don’t judge him.

74. As an LSU fan, this woman takes being a Tiger quite literally.

Yes, she's dressed and painted to look like an LSU Tiger. Yes, it's insane. But at least she's wearing a bra.

Yes, she’s dressed and painted to look like an LSU Tiger. Yes, it’s insane. But at least she’s wearing a bra.

75. At North Carolina University, these fans decided to go Tar Heel blue.

Yes, North Carolina's mascot is a Tar Heel which looks like a ram. However, it does look quite intimidating and isn't lame.

Yes, North Carolina’s mascot is a Tar Heel which looks like a ram. However, it does look quite intimidating and isn’t lame.

76. This Notre Dame fan is proud that he’s Fightin’ Irish.

However, he might want to tone down the sleazy leprechaun look. Because it may offensive to some of my Irish viewers.

However, he might want to tone down the sleazy leprechaun look. Because it may offensive to some of my Irish viewers.

77. When it comes to supporting the Oregon Ducks, this guy shows his pride dressed in a hula skirt and flower bra.

Yes, I know he's dressed like that when it's probably not ideal to do so. But he certainly stands out in the crowd.

Yes, I know he’s dressed like that when it’s probably not ideal to do so. But he certainly stands out in the crowd.

78. FSU man comes to Florida State to inspire Seminole pride.

Finally, a Florida State man on this post who's not dressed to offend Native Americans. He's a superhero instead.

Finally, a Florida State man on this post who’s not dressed to offend Native Americans. He’s a superhero instead.

79. Never fear, Seminole Man is here.

Yes, that's another Florida State superhero fan in body paint. But his initials on his chest are SN for Seminole.

Yes, that’s another Florida State superhero fan in body paint. But his initials on his chest are SN for Seminole.

80. At Boise State, you can’t leave out the blue haired Elvis impersonators.

Guess they get quite an audience. Like their orange scarves and glasses along with their white suits.

Guess they get quite an audience. Like their orange scarves and glasses along with their white suits.

81. Now these guys just roll with the Alabama Crimson Tide.

So they have toilet paper rolls on their helmets and are wearing large red Tide boxes. Love it.

So they have toilet paper rolls on their helmets and are wearing large red Tide boxes. Love it.

82. At Pitt, you’re bound to find a few strange hats out there.

This guy seems to have a Pitt Panther on an aircraft carrier. Hate to sit behind him or stand.

This guy seems to have a Pitt Panther on an aircraft carrier. Hate to sit behind him or stand.

83. At Georgia Tech, Yellow Jackets fans may seem more inclined to yellow.

Apparently, that seems to be the case. Not sure if seeing them in real life hurts the eyes.

Apparently, that seems to be the case. Not sure if seeing them in real life hurts the eyes.

84. These Georgia Bulldogs fans seem to come quite spiked at the shoulders.

Well, they have spikes in their shoulder pads. But I'd really not want to sit next to any of them even on a good day.

Well, they have spikes in their shoulder pads. But I’d really not want to sit next to any of them even on a good day.

85. These people always know how to support their Trojans at USC.

Funny, I hadn't had California college fans on here yet. But while one is in a swimsuit, the other is in hoplite armor.

Funny, I hadn’t had California college fans on here yet. But while one is in a swimsuit, the other is in hoplite armor.

86. At USC, the girls are said to deck themselves in red and gold on game day.

At least the red body paint isn't as harmful on the skin as a tanning booth. But the one in gold seems like she might have jaundice.

At least the red body paint isn’t as harmful on the skin as a tanning booth. But the one in gold seems like she might have jaundice.

87. A college football fan always tries to foster their love of the game to the next generation.

But whether I approve of this Tennessee Volunteers fan and his sons wearing gangster outfits is another matter. Still, they seem rather well dressed despite the dad resembling a creamcicle.

But whether I approve of this Tennessee Volunteers fan and his sons wearing gangster outfits is another matter. Still, they seem rather well dressed despite the dad resembling a creamcicle.

88. This man knows how to show off his WVU Mountaineer pride without burning a couch.

Well, he's dressed like a Mountaineer with a raccoon tail and coveralls. He also has light up glasses, too.

Well, he’s dressed like a Mountaineer with a raccoon tail and coveralls. He also has light up glasses, too.

89. At Happy Valley, when in doubt, go with blue hair.

Seems like what this girl has done in the stands at a Penn State game. She's even wearing beads.

Seems like what this girl has done in the stands at a Penn State game. She’s even wearing beads.

90. This Rowdy Rams fan knows how to make an entrance.

He's even wearing golden ram horns at a VCU basket ball game. Very fitting at that school.

He’s even wearing golden ram horns at a VCU basket ball game. Very fitting at that school.

91. Among America’s finest in blue, this bear is true fan among them.

Luckily for them, it's a guy in a bear costume. But I love how he seems to be cheering on in the stands.

Luckily for them, it’s a guy in a bear costume. But I love how he seems to be cheering on in the stands.

92. At Missou, this Tiger fan goes for the ultimate body paint tribute.

Is it a bit too much? Yes. Will he look ridiculous? Yes. Does he have artistic talent? Yes.

Is it a bit too much? Yes. Will he look ridiculous? Yes. Does he have artistic talent? Yes.

93. At the University of Arizona, this Wildcat fan is a real hotdog.

Not sure why anyone would dress as a hotdog to support their college team. But this person seems to have a great costume nonetheless.

Not sure why anyone would dress as a hotdog to support their college team. But this person seems to have a great costume nonetheless.

94. This USC fan seems to be a real pinhead.

Because he has a hat with a lot of USC pins on it. And you can barely see the hat other than the plume on top.

Because he has a hat with a lot of USC pins on it. And you can barely see the hat other than the plume on top.

95. For some reason University of Nebraska fans tend to wear corn hats and hold up one of their shoes.

Nebraska's team is the Huskers. And yes, some of them wear corn heads which I think is ridiculous. But the shoe thing speaks for itself.

Nebraska’s team is the Huskers. And yes, some of them wear corn heads which I think is ridiculous. But the shoe thing speaks for itself.

96. This Stanford fan will not be mocked for supporting his team.

Even if he's wearing big red glasses and a blue clown wig. And did I say he's a drummer?

Even if he’s wearing big red glasses and a blue clown wig. And did I say he’s a drummer?

97. These Uncle Sam Navy fans will knock your socks off.

Yes, they're in Uncle Sam suits with boxing gloves. But They seem to have a really good time nonetheless.

Yes, they’re in Uncle Sam suits with boxing gloves. But They seem to have a really good time nonetheless.

98. At Syracuse, it doesn’t hurt to dress like an orange in the stands.

Sure it might make you look like an idiot. But hey, it's not that fans come to the games to look good, especially when they wear outrageous outfits.

Sure it might make you look like an idiot. But hey, it’s not that fans come to the games to look good, especially when they wear outrageous outfits.

99. At the University of Utah, the Pumpkin head man comes out to support the Utes.

Probably something this guy does for Halloween. Wouldn't want to sit behind him in the stands though.

Probably something this guy does for Halloween. Wouldn’t want to sit behind him in the stands though.

100. At Colorado University, this guy will do what it takes to show his Buffalo pride.

I think this guy might be dressed as a character from the Halo video game. But I'm not sure. But I like the horns though.

I think this guy might be dressed as a character from the Halo video game. But I’m not sure. But I like the horns though.

The Matter of Voter ID Laws

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Since this is a presidential election year in the United States, it’s not unusual to hear about voter ID laws which require some form of identification in order for a person to register to vote. As of 2016, 33 states have passed such laws. And since 2012, 17 states have new voter restrictions in place. The voter requirements in these states but the most popular measure in recent years is requiring citizens to show a photo ID to vote (though some may simply require a utility bill or bank statement). At the federal level, the 2002 Help America Vote Act required voter ID for all new voters in federal elections who registered by mail and who didn’t provide a driver’s license number or the last 4 digits of their Social Security number that was matched against government records. Proponents of these laws argue that voter ID laws are a common sense effort and places little burden on voters. They also have considerable support among Americans from all party lines. However, the laws have been subject to considerable controversy and various lawsuits at both state and federal levels. In 2013, the Supreme Court overturned parts of the Voting Rights Act that required approval for voter registration changes such as Voter ID laws, making it more difficult for voters to challenge them. Nevertheless, federal courts continue to rule on voter registration cases and there are sure to be more lawsuits to come. Since the right to vote has been enshrined as a fundamental right for all Americans 18 or over, I believe that voter ID laws are nothing but voter suppression tactics that should have no place in the democratic process.

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Since the 1870s, African Americans and other ethnic and racial minorities in the South have been known to be targets of disenfranchisement, especially under segregation. In fact, this was a main reason why we had the Civil Rights Movement in the first place. Nevertheless, many states that have voter ID laws have had a history of disenfranchising minorities as well as high levels of racial stereotyping among whites. Not only that, but many older blacks in the South may not be able to get a photo ID because they were born during segregation and don’t have birth certificates.

Voter ID laws are racist.– Anyone who knows about American history could tell you that voting restrictions have a long history with racism. In fact, since after Reconstruction in the South, white Southerners would institute a series of laws, constitutions, and practices that were deliberately used to disenfranchise black citizens from registering to vote and voting. Measures used to disenfranchise blacks consisted of poll taxes, grandfather clauses, literacy tests, eight box laws, white primaries, and others. Were they constitutional? No, because the 15th Amendment stated that voters shouldn’t be discriminated by race. Did the federal government do anything to stop it at the time? Not until after WWII. Nevertheless, many of these disenfranchisement measures in the South were a major reason why the Civil Rights Movement existed in the first place which eventually led the federal government to enact the Voting Rights Act as well as the 24th Amendment abolishing the poll tax in national elections. As 2016, as many as 25% of voting age African American citizens 20% of Asian Americans, and 19% of eligible Hispanics, don’t have government issued photo identification, compared to only 8% of their white counterparts. Native Americans have also been fighting a slew of court battles over voter ID laws as well. Not to mention, out of the 33 voter ID states which have laws to prevent voter impersonation, only 6 of them have the same standards applying to absentee voters who usually tend to be whiter and older than their in-person counterparts. Mail-in absentee voter fraud is more common than voter impersonation. African American and Latino voters are known to be disproportionately low income and may not just lack a voter ID but also not be able to procure the underlying documentation necessary to obtain one. Latinos are also among the fastest growing racial demographics in the nation. It doesn’t help that some of the states that have passed voter ID laws have had a history of discriminating against minority voters as well as the fact that many older African Americans in the South simply don’t have a birth certificate due to being born during segregation. This July, a 3 judge panel of the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals, struck down North Carolina’s voter ID law requirements, finding that the new provisions targeted African Americans with “with almost surgical precision,” and that legislators had acted with clear “discriminatory intent” in enacting strict election rules as well as shaping rules based on data about African American registration and voting patterns. There’s also a correlation that the higher the racial stereotyping in a voter ID state among whites, the stricter the voter ID laws. So to compare voter ID laws to Jim Crow is not a stretch, especially since most voter ID proponents tend to be white.

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When it comes to voter ID laws, minority groups, the elderly, the young, and the poor tend to be disproportionately affected by them. This graph from the Brennan Center and Mother Jones shows this.

Voter ID laws are discriminatory against minorities, the poor, elderly, students, and the disabled.-According to the NYU Brennan Center, more than 21 million Americans (or 11% of eligible US citizens) do not have government issued photo identification and a disproportionate number of them are low-income, racial and ethnic minorities, and the elderly. 18% of Americans over 65, 18% of Americans between 18-24, and 15% of those making less than $35,000 a year don’t have voter ID. Aside from possibly disenfranchising minorities, many low income people simply can’t afford the necessary documentation to get an ID or have the time to get one (because a lot of them work long hours and have low job security). Many don’t have any education past high school so sorting out many potential agencies and requirements to get a photo ID can be challenging. Those without a driver’s license in rural areas may not have access to transportation while many senior citizens may not own a computer as well as have birth certificates with erroneous names (since a lot of mistakes were made in old birth certificates. And corrections cost money). College students are often not at their permanent residence during election times, are less likely to drive, and their student ID may not be seen as valid in states like Texas. Then you have many elderly African Americans in the South who can’t get a photo ID because they don’t have a birth certificate on record (due to being born during segregation). Homeless people can’t get an ID because they have no permanent address. Then you have voters who were born in a different state than they lived in now. Obtaining needed documents from another state costs extra money and often requires another agency in another state that the voter may not have lived in for many years. Finally, you have women who’ve changed their legal names after they’ve gotten married or divorced who may have difficulty obtaining ID in states where the name has to exactly match the voting rolls, especially if they’re low income, elderly, or minority. This goes the same for transgender people as well.

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In recent years, states with strict voter ID laws tend to be championed by Republican dominated state legislatures. Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight has measured that such states tend to have lower voter registration as well as a higher Republican net swing. Sure this might sound biased even though I’ve checked and tried to use a graph from as reputable source as I can.

Voter ID laws are not politically neutral.-Until recently, only a handful of states required voter ID. Today 33 states do. In a recent opinion by US Circuit judge Richard Posner, a Reagan appointee, compared the laws to the poll tax implemented to stop blacks from voting in the Jim Crow Era South. To him the only reason to impose voter ID laws, “is to discourage voting by persons likely to vote against the party responsible for imposing the burdens.” Posner is probably right since many voter ID laws tend to be sponsored by Republicans and passed by Republican dominated state legislatures, especially in swing states where elections are more competitive. One of the strictest and infamous voter ID laws is in Texas where voters must show one of 7 forms of state or federal issued photo ID, with a valid expiration date: a driver’s license, a personal ID card issued by the state, a concealed handgun license, a military ID, citizenship certificate or a passport. And the name must exactly match the one on the voter rolls. So concealed weapons permit fine, but not state issued student ID cards. Clearly there’s political bias here, especially if you consider that Texas is a Republican dominated state that allows guns on college campuses while young people are more likely to vote Democrat. So are racial minorities who consist of a fast growing electorate and poor people. Meanwhile, an older black veteran who showed 3 forms of ID was turned away in 2013. Also, despite being the more common form of voter fraud, only 6 out of the 33 states have voter ID laws pertaining to absentee voters who tend to be older, whiter, and more conservative than the voters most of these laws target. Then there’s the fact Republican politicians have been heard made comments Pennsylvania’s House majority leader Mike Turzai boasting that strict new voting laws would “allow Governor Romney to win” the state in 2012 (though these laws were struck down later). At the same time, a conservative group called True the Vote claimed that Democrats routinely drop off busloads of illegal voters at polling throughout the country despite evidence to the contrary. North Carolina county precinct chairman Don Yelton told the Daily Show in 2013 that if the state’s new voter restriction “hurts a bunch of lazy blacks who just want the government to give them everything, so be it.” So there’s evidence to suggest that conservatives understand that keeping certain kinds of people away from the polls is kind of the point and voter ID laws may have helped conservatives keep liberal-leaning demographics away from the polls amid record low-turnout. Despite that voter ID laws have wide support in the US, bipartisan legislation it is not.

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The vast majority of voter ID laws have been put in place to deter voter impersonation. According to News21, there have only been 10 known cases of this since 2000. More people have been struck by lightning or claimed to see UFOs than commit voter impersonation, a crime you’ve have to be crazy to do.

There is no need to prevent voter fraud.– While proponents of voter ID laws tend to talk about voter fraud like it’s a major crime wave, the mere suggestion that “voter fraud is rampant” earned a “Pants on Fire” rating from Politifact. Most voter ID laws are aimed at voter impersonation of which there were only 31 documented cases in the US from 2000-2014, out of a billion ballots cast, by the way. More people have been struck by lightning or claimed to see UFOs that same period. Proponents may also alleged that registrations of dead and out of state voters as a vulnerability in the US electoral system. After all, Pew cited that there were more than 1.8 million dead voters and 3 million registered in multiple states nationwide. And voter ID supporters fear that motivated individuals could exploit registration irregularities to impersonate dead voters or former residents, casting multiple fraudulent ballots. However, most cases of alleged voter fraud involving dead people have been shown as a result of incorrect matching of voter rolls and death records as well as clerical errors. Not to mention, the basic fact it’s not unusual for multiple people to have the exact same name. Besides, such form of fraud is illogical as the risks such as a $10,000 fine or 5 years in prison far outweigh the benefits of casting an extra vote for the voter’s desired candidate. Besides, voter impersonator takes a lot of effort which according to a Wisconsin judge, “To commit voter-impersonation fraud, a person would need to know the name of another person who is registered at a particular polling place, know the address of that person, know that the person has not yet voted and also know that no one at the polls will realize that the impersonator is not the individual being impersonated.” Someone would have to be absolutely insane to commit something like that because one vote isn’t guaranteed to sway an election. Multiple studies have shown that almost all cases of in person voter fraud are the result of a voter making an honest mistake, and even these are extremely infrequent. Besides, absentee ballot fraud is more common than voter impersonation, but not by much. Then you have proponents claiming about ballot stuffing undocumented immigrants voting, too. But voter ID laws don’t prevent these things and neither are significant problems. Thus, voter fraud is anything but rampant and mostly nonexistent.

An example of a PennDOT ID.

Voter ID law proponents tend to think that getting a state photo ID is relatively easy and free. My experience with getting a photo ID in college taught me quite differently even though I was able to get a ride from my dad (since I don’t have a driver’s license), had all the documentation, and lived near a DMV that was open 5 days a week. Many people who live in voter ID states don’t have the documentation on hand, don’t live near an accessible DMV, and face other obstacles preventing them from obtaining a photo ID. So what may seem easy and free to one person is actually costly and burdensome. Then again, even under the best circumstances, obtaining a photo ID is still pretty damn hard.

Getting a state photo ID card is more difficult than it looks.– When I first got my state photo ID in college (since I don’t have a driver’s license), I was required to have my birth certificate, my Social Security card, and other documentation to show to the DMV. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my Social Security card with me at the time since my parents kept it in the fire safe so we had to go back. Luckily my parents had saved the documentation so I could get one with few problems. After all, the nearest DMV to me is only closed on Sunday, Monday, and holidays, with 8:30 am-4:15 pm for regular business hours, save Thursday when it’s open till 6. Besides, I have parents who could drive me. Still, advocates of voter ID laws make it seem that getting a photo ID is easy for anyone who’s eligible to vote when my firsthand experience tells me that it’s not necessarily the case. And for a rural resident without a driver’s license, I had it easy and under the best circumstances. For thousands of eligible citizens, obtaining a photo ID can be costly and burdensome. Though many states with strict voter ID laws offer a free, these IDs require documents like a birth certificate that can cost up to $25 in some places or possibly more. Many people in rural areas have trouble accessing ID offices, especially if they don’t have a driver’s license. A 2015 Alabama lawsuit cited a high schooler who couldn’t vote because she lacked a driver’s license. Sure she could get a state issued ID at the nearest DMV like I did. But the nearest DMV to this girl is only open one day per month and she has no access to public transportation to another DMV that’s 40 miles away round trip. But at least she doesn’t live Sauk City, Wisconsin whose DMV office is only open 4 times per year while 25% of Wisconsin’s DMVs are open less than one day per month. If you’re an African American born in the Jim Crow South before 1960, there’s a good chance you don’t have a birth certificate and may need to go to court. If you work in a low wage job, do think your boss would mind if you take several hours off work to get a government issued ID? Most of the time they’d fire you if you try. If you live in another state from the one you were born in, you might have to pay a pretty penny or travel great distance to fetch those records. And if you live in Texas, there’s a 1 in 3 chance that your county has no ID-issuing offices at all, leading some rural residents to travel 100 miles to the nearest location and only a quarter of those offices have extended hours.

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This map shows the costs on voter ID laws in each states with them at the time. Note that many of these states are strapped for cash and can use their funds for better things like education. Basically, voter ID laws cost the government more money to combat a virtually non-existent problem.

Voter ID laws cost taxpayer money.– While many courts have accepted voter ID laws, they’ve only done so as long as the states have key provisions such as making sure the voter ID is free of charge (they’re not), accessible to everyone (they’re not), and that there are public outreach and education efforts to make everyone aware of the new requirements. However, none of this is free to the taxpayer and implementation costs millions of dollars in voter ID states. $20 million on average, in fact, including the state’s price to issue free cards to avoid costly lawsuits, voter education and publicity to inform voters and ensure they aren’t turned away at the polls, and dozens of new costs for state and local officials from updating forms and websites to hiring staff to inspect IDs and handle provisional ballots on Election Day. So enacting these laws aren’t cheap. Add to that the financial costs states are spending to defend them in the courts, too.

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This is a flyer on Pennsylvania’s voter ID law which was passed in 2012 and struck down by a state judge in 2014 who saw it as unconstitutional since it places an undue burden on hundreds of voters. To be fair, even if the main part of the Voter Rights Act was struck down by the Supreme Court in 2013, the constitutionality on voter ID laws is not sound.

Voter ID laws are unconstitutional.– The right to vote is protected by more constitutional amendments than any other right we enjoy in the United States along with additional federal and state statutes which guarantee and protect voting rights. Declarations by the Supreme Court state that the right to vote is fundamental because it’s protective of all our other rights and that states can’t value one person’s vote over another. Sure the Supreme Court may have struck down a critical part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, this does not mean that voter ID laws are constitutional. While some state IDs are free (though many tend to average $22), the documentation required like passports, driver’s licenses, and birth certificates are often not. And many Americans simply can’t afford to pay for them. Could be an equivalent to a poll tax? Possibly and I know poll taxes go against the 24th Pennsylvania’s voter ID law was struck down by Commonwealth Court Judge Bernard L. McGinley in 2014 as “violative of the constitutional rights of state voters” as well as to place an undue burden on hundreds of already registered voters due to lack of infrastructure and state support for obtaining required IDs.

Rally Marks 1-Year Anniversary Of Supreme Court Decision On Voting Rights Act

Caption: “WASHINGTON, DC – JUNE 25: Activists attend a Voting Rights Amendment Act rally in Capitol Hill June 25, 2014 in Washington, DC. The rally marked the one-year anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in Shelby County v. Holder which held a section of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 is unconstitutional.” In American democracy, voting is a fundamental right and a sacred civic responsibility. Voter ID laws are unfair, disenfranchise people, as well as decrease people’s confidence in the system that some may not show up at the polls.

Voter ID laws violate civil rights and undermine the democratic process.– In democracy, nothing is more fundamental than the right to vote, which is deemed sacred since it gives people perhaps the only political voice they have in elections. Disenfranchisement is to deprive a person of that voice while voter ID essentially disenfranchises people through requirements in a discriminatory fashion and placing unreasonable requirements on individuals for registering or voting. Furthermore, it places a disproportionate burden on millions of voters on an infraction that’s only possible but highly unlikely and unproven. Voter ID laws also lead to lower turnouts since they decrease many voters’ confidence in the system since they’re seen as a way to prevent certain types of voters from casting their ballots. They are unconstitutional and illegal for they discriminate against the poor and racial minorities as well as have been implemented to influence election incomes. These states need to get rid of these oppressive laws which make voting a privilege, not a right which it is.

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Stolen Pay: Why We Need to Know About Wage Theft

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Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump often likes to cast himself as a protector of workers and jobs as well as a great businessman. However, recently he’s come under considerable scrutiny as it’s been recently revealed that he’s been involved in more than 3,500 lawsuits over the past 3 decades. A large number of these pertain to ordinary Americans who say that Trump and his companies have refused to pay them for their work. According to USA Today, these include a Florida dishwasher, a New Jersey glass company, a plumber, a carpet company, painters, 48 waiters, dozens of bartenders and other hourly workers at his resorts and clubs all over the country, real estate brokers who sold his properties, and even several law firms that once represented him in these suits and others. Trump and co. have also been cited for 24 violations under the Fair Labor Standards Act since 2005 for failing to pay overtime or minimum wage, according to the US Department of Labor data. In addition to the lawsuits, there were more than 200 mechanic’s liens filed by contractors and employees against Trump, claiming that they were owed money for their work since the 1980s. These range from a $75,000 from a Plainview, NY, heating and air conditioning company to a $1 million claim from a New York City real estate banking firm. On his Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, the New Jersey Casino Commission in 1990 show that at least 253 subcontractors weren’t paid in full or on time, included workers who installed chandeliers, walls, and plumbing.

All of these actions described above paint Trump and his sprawling organization frequently failing to pay small businesses and individuals, then sometimes tying them up in court and other negotiations for years. In some cases, Trump’s team financially overpowers and outlasts much smaller opponents, sometimes draining their resources. Some just give up the fight, settle for less, end up in bankruptcy, or out of business altogether. Such actions described above are well-known cases of wage theft. Donald Trump has been a long practitioner of this but he’s hardly the only one. In recent years, workers ranging from NFL cheerleaders, Senate cafeteria workers, fast food workers, retail workers, high tech engineers, nail salon workers, and computer animators have found themselves victimized by this very real and very heinous act by their employers. Often, employees find themselves powerless to do anything about it. And if they do, they often have to act through the court system and risk losing almost everything. But since people rely on their job so much to make a living, this is a very important issue with it becoming the fastest growing crime wave in the United States. But it’s not often reported and it’s tough to see how widespread this problem is. However, at any rate, wage theft is a problem we need to discuss and need to demand action on because it affects so many people’s lives. And here I have this handy FAQ guide to show you.

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Yes, this is what wage theft actually is. Unfortunately, Mr. Orange Nuclear Meltdown doesn’t understand this. Because he’s been a constant violator according to the lawsuits former employees subject him to.

What Is Wage Theft?

Wage theft is when an employer denies pay and/or benefits that are rightfully owed to an employee. Wage theft can be conducted through various means such as failure to pay overtime, minimum wage violations, employee misclassification, illegal deductions in pay, working off the clock, having tips stolen, or not being paid at all. In short, the boss is not paying workers for all of their work. Or not paying for the work at the rate they said they would or what the employees are entitled to by law.

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If you experience any of these at work, you might be a victim of wage theft. Because these are common signs like being paid under the table, kept working despite clocking out early, having tips stolen, and not receiving meal or rest breaks.

Types of Wage Theft:

Overtime– This is the most common form of wage theft. The US Fair Labor Standards Act dictates that employees are entitled to receive overtime pay calculated at least 1.5 the regular rate for all time worked past 40 hours a week. Some exemptions only apply to public service agencies or employees who meet certain requirements in accordance to their job duties along with no less than a $455 weekly salary (or $23,660 a year). So unless employees meet the exemption criteria, they’re usually entitled to overtime if they work over 40 hours a week period. Employers can’t change overtime laws and can’t avoid paying overtime by enacting a no-overtime policy or getting employees to agree on special deals. Unfortunately, it’s common for employers to treat overtime as a personal choice when it’s not. And despite regulations, many employees aren’t being paid overtime due to them. Common overtime violations include:

  • Improperly Calculated Overtime Pay– Employers must calculate overtime on the actual 40-hour workweek regardless of pay period whether it be weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. Many employers are said to average hours over 2 or more weeks, not including all payments in calculating overtime pay rate, not paying employees for all hours worked over a 40 hour work week, not including time spent preparing for work (donning and doffing), and requiring employees to wort through unpaid meal breaks. Such errors may not always be accidental.
  • Comp Time Instead of Overtime Pay– Compensatory time is paid time off for extra hours worked that’s generally granted to hourly employees instead of overtime wages. It can sometimes be legal (though it’s often not due to fear of employer abuse) but employers must pay it at 150%, the same rate as overtime wages. To give employees to take compensatory time or extra paid time off in lieu of overtime pay is illegal under federal law. Furthermore, those who do take the compensatory time option aren’t always guaranteed time off whether they want it or need it.
  • Employees Not Allowed to Report Work over 40 Hours Per Week– Many employers have rules that no overtime work will be permitted or paid for unless authorized in advance. Some employers choose to ignore when hourly employees work overtime or don’t allow employees to work overtime hours. This violates overtime rules.
  • Misclassification of Employees as Exempt Workers– Exempt employees are by law workers not entitled to receive overtime pay. Whether an employee is exempt or not can be confusing. However, it has nothing to do with one’s job or job description or whether one is paid a salary or hourly. It depends on what an employee actually does on their job on a daily basis that determines whether or not they’re legally entitled to overtime pay.

Not Paying for Meals and Rest Period Pay – Meals need not be counted as work time if they are at least 30 minutes long and the employee is relieved from active duty during the meal period even if they must remain available. An employee who works through lunch is working and that time must be counted. An employee who eats a sandwich at the desk or is required to monitor a machine is working through lunch. However, many employers who have their employees work through lunch are guilty of this.

Not Paying for Off the Clock Work– Many FLSA lawsuits involve employers failing to include time spent by employees performing work activities outside their normal shifts. Some may come early and start working before the official start time of their shifts. Such time is work time and must be included in FLSA pay computations, provided only that the employer knew or should’ve known that the employee was beginning work early (and to the extent that the employee spent pre-shift time performing work activities). Pre-shift roll calls are work time. Time spent setting up equipment before the official start of a shift is work time. Some employees may similarly stay late after shifts performing works which should be counted as work time as well. Travel time and on-call time is work time. Time spent by an employee cleaning equipment after the close of a shift is work time. Post shift work time can also include time spent by an employee performing job related activities on the way home like a secretary dropping off the day’s mail at the post office or delivering some paperwork to a customer or supplier. Some employees take work home. That time may well be work time. Similarly if an employee is contacted at home by phone for work related reasons, the time spent is work time (as well as when an employee is called back to work, the time counts as work time). This is a very common wage violation by employers.

Minimum Wage– The federal minimum wage is $7.25 an hour. It’s a poverty wage that’s not able to support a family but that’s beside the point. For tipped workers, it’s $2.13 an hour as long as it’s fixed and the tips add up to be at the federal or above the federal minimum wage which I think is stupid. Some states also have legislation that sets a state minimum wage as well. Depending on the state, the employee is always entitled to the higher standard of compensation. A common form of wage theft for tipped employees is to receive no standard pay and stealing tips. The Wage and Hour Division is said to be generally contacted by 25,000 people a year in regards to concerns and violations of minimum wage pay. Paying employees less than minimum wage is a very common wage theft practice.

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Missclassification is a common method of wage theft in which employers try to pass their workers off as independent contractors. The difference between employee and independent contractor is in this infographic.

Misclassification– One of the more extensive and insidious forms of wage theft which leaves workers especially vulnerable. Under the FLSA, independent contractors aren’t covered by tax and wage laws that apply to regular employees. Nor do they receive the same protection as employees for certain benefits. Thus, independent contractors aren’t entitled to a minimum wage, overtime, insurance, protection, or other employee rights. Nor do employers pay Social Security, Medicare, payroll taxes, or federal unemployment insurance on contract employees. Independent contractors also have to pay payroll taxes to the IRS. The difference between the two classifications depends on the permanency of employment, opportunity for profit and loss, as well as the worker’s level of self-employment along with their degree of control. Nevertheless, employers are strongly motivated to classify regular employees as contract workers to save costs, a practice known as pay roll fraud. A 2007 study in New York state found that 704,785 workers or 10.3% of the state’s private sector workforce was misclassified each year. For industries covered in this study, average unemployment insurance taxable wages underreported due to misclassification was on average $4.3 billion for the year while the unemployment insurance tax underreported in these industries was $176 million.

Illegal Deductions– Employees are subject to forms of wage theft through this method. Trivial to sometimes fabricated workplace violations are used to validate deductions. Any deduction that brings an employee to a level of compensation less than the minimum wage is also illegal. In many states, employers are required to issue employees documentation of deductions along with earnings. Failure to issue such documentation is generally prevalent in workplaces subject to wage theft.

Full Wage Theft– Employers are legally obligated to pay employees. However, this doesn’t always happen and is the most blatant and extreme form of wage theft.

Other– These may include putting pressure on injured workers not to file for workers’ compensation, being denied time off or vacation time they have required, being denied pay for sick leave or vacation time, not paying final paycheck to workers who’ve left, delaying payments (not paying on scheduled paydays or on a timely basis), bounced paychecks, stealing and pooling tips, unpaid internships, not reimbursing expenses, not keeping or fabricating records of hours worked, not paying for training, and under staffing. These could depend on state and local jurisdictions.

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According to the FBI, more money is lost to wage theft than in any other property crimes including robbery, auto theft, burglary, and larceny. And money number is only from the reported cases.

How Common Is Wage Theft?

Wage theft is widespread in the United States existing in all professions and affecting all workers regardless of race, gender, or legal status. When it comes to ripping employees off, employers don’t discriminate. But low-income workers and immigrants tend to be the most vulnerable. Yet, this could happen to higher income employees as well such as in high tech companies. So don’t think you can’t become a victim of wage theft because you can. While no one knows exactly how big this problem is, federal and state agencies have recovered $933 million for wage theft victims in 2012 while property taken in all thefts and robberies amounted to under $341 million. Research suggests that American workers are getting screwed out of $20 billion to $50 billion annually. The odds of you becoming a victim of wage theft are likely but some workers are more vulnerable than others.

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Undocumented immigrants are the most vulnerable to wage theft due to their precarious legal status that leaves them unable to speak up without risking deportation. Many employers take full advantage of this by paying them under the table and threatening to call immigration on them if they get out of line.

Who Are Most Vulnerable to Wage Theft?

Low income workers are the most vulnerable to wage theft, particularly in fields that employ women, people of color, and foreign born populations. Foreign-born women are at a much greater risk for wage violations than their male counterparts. Undocumented immigrants stood at the highest risk levels. Education, longer tenured employment, union membership, and English proficiency proved to be influential factors in reducing wage theft for the aforementioned demographics. Wage theft is more common in small businesses with less than 100 employees than larger companies. Workplaces with flat rate compensation or cash under the table payments also reported a higher instance in wage theft. We should also take into account that while low income workers are most vulnerable to wage theft, they’re the least likely to report it as well as suffer the most devastating consequences. When a worker only earns a minimum wage ($290 for a 40 hour workweek), shaving a mere half hour of the day from the paycheck could mean a loss of more than $1,400 a year, including overtime premiums. That could be nearly 10% of a minimum wage employee’s earnings which could be the difference between paying the rent and utilities or risking eviction and the loss of gas, water, or electric service.

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This infographic illustrates the real costs of wage theft which consist of less income, time poverty, and a poor workplace environment. Wage theft is wrong, it hurts families, it hurts people’s well being, and leads to further worker abuse.

Why Is Wage Theft Bad?

Think of it this way, if you spend several hours working your ass off and your boss doesn’t pay you the money or benefits you should be receiving, you would surely feel very upset about it. After all, you worked for it, you earned it. Therefore, your employer is required to pay you for all the work you did for them. This is how the employer-employee relationship is supposed to work. If your boss doesn’t pay what you deserve, then it’s obviously unfair. Your boss is ripping you off. Wage theft costs workers billions of dollars a year, a transfer from low income employees to business owners that worsens income inequality, hurts workers and their families, and damages the sense of fairness and justice that a democracy needs to survive. And when low wage workers are underpaid, taxpayers face the burden of supporting workers whose employers haven’t paid into Social Security taxes and other funds. Plus the millions of dollars lost in tax revenue. Not only that, but the money your average low income worker loses in unpaid wages is not reinvested in the economy. Meanwhile businesses who do pay their employees without resorting to wage theft find it hard to compete in a market with their additional employee-related expenses.

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Employers resort to wage theft because it keeps their costs down, saves them money, and easily get away with it. In other words, when it comes to profit margins, wage theft is good business despite being illegal.

Why Would Employers Commit Wage Theft?

Many businesses violate wage and hour laws for 3 reasons. First, paying employees less gives them a competitive advantage or higher profit and have little fear of getting caught or punished. If a business can get away with illegally paying its employees a below minimum wage with no overtime, it will be able to sell its products more cheaply than one who complies with the laws and pays their workers time-and-a-half for overtime work. If a business pays its “interns” nothing while its competitors all pay interns the minimum wage, it will be able to charge clients less and steal business away from its competitors. Second, even if a business doesn’t lower prices to undercut competitors, it still pockets the difference between the wage owed and the wage paid. Thus, the employee’s loss is the owner’s extra point. Third, there’s a very low chance the employer will be caught cheating on wages so most don’t usually think twice about the consequences. After all, employers usually can afford the better legal defense and the fact wage theft laws are typically weak and insufficiently enforced. As of 2014, there are only 1,000 to 1,100 federal Wage and Hour Division investigators for the whole country who are responsible for investigating over 7 million businesses and protecting over 100-135 million employees. In 2012, they only conducted fewer than 35,000 investigations and recovered about $280 million in unpaid wages to 308,000 workers. State labor departments and attorneys general combined recovered even less. Not to mention, many federal wage theft cases are thrown out because the Department of Labor couldn’t resolve them within two years. At the state and local level, it’s often even worse since few local governments have the resources to combat wage theft and several states have cut their labor department’s. Even if businesses do get caught, they’re rarely punished. Consequences for violations found are often no more than an order to pay back the wages owed or even a fraction of the total amount. This despite that the FLSA makes the employer liable for the full amount as well as additional equal amount for liquidated damages. But at any rate, the FLSA’s civil penalties for willful and repeat violations are too small to deter offenders from engaging in similar violations in the future. For instance the maximum penalty for failure to pay overtime and minimum wage being $1,100 whether the culprit be some local ice cream shop or a giant multinational corporation like Walmart. Yet, Wage and Hour failed even to seek a penalty in most of its cases for many years. And despite that the FLSA makes repeated willful pay violations a misdemeanor punishable by up to 6 months in jail, criminal penalties are rarely if ever used. At state and local levels, wage theft laws can be even weaker while enforcement is even more insufficient.

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Wage theft often goes underreported mostly because the party with the power and resources is often the perpetrator or the employer. Victims who decide to take action often face uphill battles, lost savings, lost careers, and possibly very little back pay and justice if they win. It’s a very sad situation.

Why Does No One Talk About Wage Theft?

Because unlike your typical property crimes, wage theft usually happens behind closed doors and is not easily detectable. It’s also conducted by more powerful people typically stealing from those with few resources to do anything about it. In fact, many workers may not realize their employers are stealing from them for years into their job. Or may not know that their boss may be doing anything illegal or violating their rights under the law. But if they do, they may not report the incident anyway if calling out their employer means losing their job or other forms of retaliation like shorter hours, less pay, or increased workloads. Many immigrants are often confronted with threats of calls to immigration services if they complain or seek to redress, especially if they’re undocumented. Some employees in white collar professions are even threatened with criminal prosecution or possibly blackmail to keep them from leaving. Even if they do sue and win, they often end up losing their careers and possibly their life savings to litigation fees. As for settlement, most workers who win their wage theft case usually don’t see a dime. Not to mention, it rarely makes front page news unless the case pertains to a class action lawsuit against a large corporation. So wage theft remains vastly under reported though cases filed in federal court have been on the rise.

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In 2009-2011, warehouse workers sued Walmart for paying them less than minimum wage as well as denying the paid vacations they were promised. Walmart denied this because wage theft is one of the ways the retail giant does to ensure you save more, live better, and contribute to their profits.

What Are Effective Measures to Deter Wage Theft?

The US FSLA requires employers to keep detailed records regarding workers’ identities and hours worked for all who are protected under the minimum wage law. Most states require that employers also provide each worker with documentation every paid period detailing that worker’s hours, wages, and deductions. As of 2011, Arkansas, Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, South Dakota, Tennessee and Virginia didn’t require such documentation. A 2008 survey of wage theft from workers in Illinois, New York, and California found that 57% of low wage workers didn’t receive this required documentation and that workers who were paid in cash or on a weekly rate were more likely to experience wage theft. So making employer documentation legally mandatory is an effective measure though not so much when it comes to tip theft. As for other enforcement measures, while willful violators can fines up to $10,000 upon their first conviction to jail time resulting from repeat offenses. However, since the WHD is so underfunded and so understaffed (which isn’t an accident), very few wage theft cases are investigated and fewer employers are brought to justice.

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Most of the wage theft awareness campaigns usually tend to be localized and statewide. But wage theft is so widespread that Americans need to have a nationwide conversation about this. Wage theft is a very insidious crime that’s happening everywhere. We need to demand action to deter this behavior. We need to show that wage theft is an unacceptable way of doing business.

What Steps Can Be Done to Prevent and Stop Wage Theft?

First, wage theft needs to be addressed as a national issue in the national spotlight because there are stories that are barely heard on TV unless they pertain to Trump’s business shenanigans or NFL cheerleaders. Second, raise funding for the WHD so they could hire more staff to investigate (which should be doubled) as well as better laws that put stiffer penalties on employers. Third, protect victims filing complaints with government agencies from retaliation and allow them to access the back pay they’ve been so long denied if they decide to sue.There must be ways for wage theft victims to complain and stick up to their employers so they won’t have to worry about losing their jobs or their life savings. Fourth, fix the statute of limitations on wage claims for more than two years. Fifth, mandate that employers give workers pay stubs so they could accurately calculate their hours and have a record to prove they were cheated, which most states do anyway as well has been a proven deterrent. Sixth, have the DOL engage in targeted investigations of industries and employers where wage theft is rampant in partnership with community organizations workers trust and know who the criminal employers are. Seventh, instill stiffer penalties on wage theft violators which includes creating mandatory minimums for employers repeatedly breaking the law as well as make sure that wage theft judgments are enforced so workers could collect what they’ve been denied for years. And finally, provide resources to community organizations with the Department of Labor to eliminate wage theft and win back wages.

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Remember, wage theft can be prevented and stopped. The time is now to make unscrupulous employers pay. And I hope the Burger King goes directly to jail and isn’t allowed to collect $200.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Postcards (Fifth Edition)

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Once again, it’s summer vacation season where people travel to some far off destination before having to deal with back to school season. Or if they can afford it and have any vacation days. Because a lot of people in the US don’t. Nevertheless, this California postcard is one of the greats since each block letter shows you each unique feature and destination you can see like the Golden Gate Bridge, Hollywood, Yosemite, the Redwood Forest, Death Valley, the freeways, beaches, orange groves, and more. And it even has the California state house in the corner like that is even necessary. As you might’ve seen before in my previous postcard posts, you might find a lot of them from back in the day. However, though I can show you all the wonderful postcards out there, you might find them incredibly uninteresting. So I’m going to stick with those you might find incredibly ridiculous because I like to play with people’s sense nostalgia. After all, most of these are from the 1950s-1970s anyway. Now for your reading pleasure, enjoy yet another selection of these vintage postcards.

 

  1. We begin with a couple ladies enjoying a thrilling ride down the escalator.
Yes, it's so fun to go down the escalator at the mall. This is especially for the Ooomah Loompah's beautiful daughter. Or Donald Trump's mother, but I don't wish to offend the woman in yellow.

Yes, it’s so fun to go down the escalator at the mall. This is especially for the Ooomah Loompah’s beautiful daughter. Or Donald Trump’s mother, but I don’t wish to offend the woman in yellow.

2. Explore the picturesque view of Bass River State Park, New Jersey.

Either this woman is trying to cover up a major wardrobe malfunction or she's not wearing a bra. Because the way she has her hand on her chest makes me feel quite suspicious.

Either this woman is trying to cover up a major wardrobe malfunction or she’s not wearing a bra. Because the way she has her hand on her chest makes me feel quite suspicious.

3. “And this dress comes with two matching hats.”

I know the print is very atrocious and would better as window drapery. Then again, I apologize to any of my window viewers reading this.

I know the print is very atrocious and would better as window drapery. Then again, I apologize to any of my window viewers reading this.

4. For efficient liquid handling, try Hannay Hose Reels.

Yes, these hose reels are for your garden hose. I know they're industrial looking but that was what they were like at the time.

Yes, these hose reels are for your garden hose. I know they’re industrial looking but that was what they were like at the time.

5. This old man just loves to frolick with his black eyed susans.

I don't know about you. But there's something very unsettling about this old guy. I just don't know what.

I don’t know about you. But there’s something very unsettling about this old guy. I just don’t know what.

6. At Colonial Williamsburg, feel free to put one of our reenactors into the stockade.

However, if you want to harass and throw some rotten produce at her, then you're shit out of luck. But you can still get your picture taken.

However, if you want to harass and throw some rotten produce at her, then you’re shit out of luck. But you can still get your picture taken.

7. Welcome to Oklahoma City from their local Veterettes.

Only in Oklahoma City where you can find a local VFW having its own majorette squad. Bad Postcards adds, "Name changed after its first year as the Veterans of Foreign Warsettes."

Only in Oklahoma City where you can find a local VFW having its own majorette squad. Bad Postcards adds, “Name changed after its first year as the Veterans of Foreign Warsettes.”

8. Hope you enjoy Lolly the Magic Clown making balloon animals.

However, when he's asking for a volunteer, feel free to not raise your hand. Because those who do are never seen again. And those who volunteered to be sawed in half usually meet a grisly end onstage.

However, when he’s asking for a volunteer, feel free to not raise your hand. Because those who do are never seen again. And those who volunteered to be sawed in half usually meet a grisly end onstage.

9. Desmond “the Daffy Diplomat” always knows where the fun is.

Tragically for some people, it involves making volunteers' money magically disappear from their bank accounts. Also what's with the dice on his fingers?

Tragically for some people, it involves making volunteers’ money magically disappear from their bank accounts. Also what’s with the dice on his fingers?

10. More mail for Santa Claus in North Pole, New York.

Due to melting Arctic ice caps caused by climate change, Santa Clause was forced to relocate his operations to a more stable location. He tried to move to Siberia but the Soviets thought he was too much of a capitalist icon. So he settled for upstate New York.

Due to melting Arctic ice caps caused by climate change, Santa Clause was forced to relocate his operations to a more stable location. He tried to move to Siberia but the Soviets thought he was too much of a capitalist icon. So he settled for upstate New York.

11. Lake of the Woods, Minnesota is proud to present to you Willie Walleye.

The area's historical society has a whole page dedicated to this guy as well as plenty of tall tales. So he's sort of like the Paul Bunyan of fish?

The area’s historical society has a whole page dedicated to this guy as well as plenty of tall tales. So he’s sort of like the Paul Bunyan of fish?

12. As we all know, good fences make good neighbors.

However, when it comes to neighborhood fencing, I would prefer something more inviting. Like a wooden picket fence. Because metal ones are more suitable for public places.

However, when it comes to neighborhood fencing, I would prefer something more inviting. Like a wooden picket fence. Because metal ones are more suitable for public places.

13. “Performing in the Last Chance Saloon 3 times daily” are Miss Kitty and her Can-Can dancers.

Sorry, but to me, that just looks like a poorly executed version of Moulin Rouge. Also, fringe underwear? That's stripper wear.

Sorry, but to me, that just looks like a poorly executed version of Moulin Rouge. Also, fringe underwear? That’s stripper wear.

14. Always dress your best during deer hunting season, ladies.

I guess the orange and camo dress code didn't exist at the time. Still, how exactly do you shoot a deer with fur mittens? I don't get it.

I guess the orange and camo dress code didn’t exist at the time. Still, how exactly do you shoot a deer with fur mittens? I don’t get it.

15. I guess this restaurant owner is like, “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”

Okay, I know it's not entirely decorated with antlers, but I couldn't resist that. Nevertheless, I'm sure this restaurant isn't recommended for Mount Lebanon residents.

Breakfast specials include the 4 dozen eggs every morning to help kids get large. The adult version is 5 dozen eggs that will make you roughly the size of a barge. Nevertheless, I’m sure this restaurant isn’t recommended for Mount Lebanon residents.

16. Here we come to what seems to be in an undisclosed location.

Because it really seems like this might be a blood facility with the red liquid and people in scrubs. And it kind of creeps me out.

Because it really seems like this might be a blood facility with the red liquid and people in scrubs. And it kind of creeps me out.

17. From St. Louis, you might remember the Jakovac Tamburica.

From Bad Postcards: "If, by some bizarre turn of events, I become a designer of sex toys, I have the name for my first product." Also, those outfits really don't make their case any better.

From Bad Postcards: “If, by some bizarre turn of events, I become a designer of sex toys, I have the name for my first product.” Yeah, when your band goes by the name Jakovac Tamburica, you might want to reconsider.

18. Welcome to Wildwoods by the Sea, New Jersey, home of the Hellhole.

Of course, some people might think hellhole applies to New Jersey in general. But this one has demonic statue to greet you.

Of course, some people might think hellhole applies to New Jersey in general. But this one has demonic statue to greet you.

19. Come to Wisconsin, home of the world’s largest cheese.

Now that is a hell of a lot of cheese. You have to think of the cows whose milk went to its production.

Now that is a hell of a lot of cheese. You have to think of the cows whose milk went to its production.

20. Of course it’s not every day you find a flying jackalope.

So there's more than one kind of jackalope? Had no idea. Still, this consists of a rabbit, small antlers, and pheasant wing and tail.

So there’s more than one kind of jackalope? Had no idea. Still, this consists of a rabbit, small antlers, and pheasant wing and tail.

21. Come to Rogue River, Oregon, home of the National Rooster Crowing Contest.

Marked by an enormous rooster statue. Has a plumage of green and gold unlike most roosters. Perhaps it symbolizes Rogue River's profits.

Marked by an enormous rooster statue. Has a plumage of green and gold unlike most roosters. Perhaps it symbolizes Rogue River’s profits.

22. In Bemidji, Minnesota, stop by at Morrell’s Chippewa Trading Post.

Sorry, but that wolf looks so demented at the moment that you can't take it seriously. Apparently this place isn't known for its taxidermy.

Sorry, but that wolf looks so demented at the moment that you can’t take it seriously. Apparently this place isn’t known for its taxidermy.

23. Look super hip in Valerie’s “Young Look” belt.

From Bad Postcards: "Looks like she’s trying to put on her best model face while hiding the need to barf up all the bacon and pancakes and syrup being squeezed out of her gut." Also doesn't seem very enthusiastic about having her picture taken.

From Bad Postcards: “Looks like she’s trying to put on her best model face while hiding the need to barf up all the bacon and pancakes and syrup being squeezed out of her gut.” Also doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about having her picture taken.

24. “Uh, dude, can you uncoil me for a moment. You’re kind of suffocating me right now.”

Because strangling is how snakes kill large prey. Still, I have no idea why anyone would want to put that statue on a postcard. It's just crazy.

Because strangling is how snakes kill large prey. Still, I have no idea why anyone would want to put that statue on a postcard. It’s just crazy.

25. From Mansfield, Ohio is country music guitarist Tex Forman.

From Bad Postcards: "Tex, if you’d like to break into a larger market, start by emblazoning your name on your instrument with something other than electrical tape." Yeah, that kind of looks very cheap.

From Bad Postcards: “Tex, if you’d like to break into a larger market, start by emblazoning your name on your instrument with something other than electrical tape.” Yeah, that kind of looks very cheap.

26. “Okay, Snowflake, what is it this time?”

Didn't know Santa even had a white reindeer. Why didn't they even tell us about this?

Didn’t know Santa even had a white reindeer. Why didn’t they even tell us about this?

27. “A portrait grows in value to you.”

Maybe, but that doesn't stop this girl seeming quite creepy. Maybe this was taken when they were searching for actresses for Rhoda in The Bad Seed.

Maybe, but that doesn’t stop this girl seeming quite creepy. Maybe this was taken when they were searching for actresses for Rhoda in The Bad Seed.

28. “What’s that your pointing to, Lucifer?”

Because that's impression I get when I see this. Still, Satan seems like he's some sort of crazy guy you might watch on Game of Thrones.

Because that’s impression I get when I see this. Still, Satan seems like he’s some sort of crazy guy you might watch on Game of Thrones.

29. In Spokane, Washington, feel free to look at the world’s largest bear.

Uh, couldn't he just take a picture of it and hang it somewhere? Seriously, why he kill it as a trophy? Something tells me he might be compensating for something.

Uh, couldn’t he just take a picture of it and hang it somewhere? Seriously, why he kill it as a trophy? Something tells me he might be compensating for something.

30. Linville Caverns always contain beautiful stalagmite formations.

There's nothing like going into a cave dressed in your trench and pearls. Or as I call it, something you shouldn't wear in a cave.

There’s nothing like going into a cave dressed in your trench and pearls. Or as I call it, something you shouldn’t wear in a cave.

31. It’s always pleasant to have a portrait made at Hess Brothers.

However, this kid might not share that opinion. Because he doesn't really seem to be smiling.

However, this kid might not share that opinion. Because he doesn’t really seem to be smiling. More like wanting to get out of there.

32. Nothing makes a romantic evening like listening to Enzo Stuarti.

From Bad Postcards: "The guys at the table seem more enamored of Enzo than the women. Where’s the band?" When you think about it, it seems about right.

From Bad Postcards: “The guys at the table seem more enamored of Enzo than the women. Where’s the band?” When you think about it, it seems about right.

33. Welcome to Ole’s Big Game Lounge in Paxton, Nebraska.

Guess Ole seems quite proud that he shot all these African animals before they were on the Endangered Species list. Still, the taxidermy is kind of unnerving.

Guess Ole seems quite proud that he shot all these African animals before they were on the Endangered Species list. Still, the taxidermy is kind of unnerving.

34. Here we have a recreation of John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin working on the Declaration of Independence.

For some reason Benjamin Franklin wasn't feeling so well today. But knowing that such task was so important for the country, he showed up to Independence Hall anyway.

For some reason Benjamin Franklin wasn’t feeling so well today. But knowing that such task was so important for the country, he showed up to Independence Hall anyway.

35. “Okay, guys, shall we proceed with the battering ram exercises?”

Actually this is a bunch of marines at Parris Island doing a log lifting exercise. And all in unflattering fitness attire.

Actually this is a bunch of marines at Parris Island doing a log lifting exercise. And all in unflattering fitness attire.

36. “We will be glad to pick you up for Sunday School next Sunday.”

Mr. Harris would be happy to drive Timmy there in his windowless van. Oh, God, I'm horrible.

Mr. Harris would be happy to drive Timmy there in his windowless van. Oh, God, I’m horrible.

37. “I always want to look my best whenever I go to the farmer’s market.”

Because the farmer's market is the place where women dress up in furs, gloves, and fine jewelry. Don't forget to top it off with a tiara.

Because the farmer’s market is the place where women dress up in furs, gloves, and fine jewelry. Don’t forget to top it off with a tiara.

38. All hail to the almighty beach ball of Calamari.

Another marine training session at Parris Island, South Carolina. You have to admit that these guys aren't afraid to look utterly ridiculous.

Another marine training session at Parris Island, South Carolina. You have to admit that these guys aren’t afraid to look utterly ridiculous.

39. Welcome to the bank of the future.

That's a bank? I kind of liken it to if Emperor Palpatine's vacation home was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

That’s a bank? I kind of liken it to if Emperor Palpatine’s vacation home was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

40. Greetings from the North Pole from Santa Claus.

For some reason, I think having this postcard from some place in upstate New York instead of the North Pole might lead to childhood disillusionment. Mostly because a lot of kids don't imagine Santa living in upstate New York.

For some reason, I think having this postcard from some place in upstate New York instead of the North Pole might lead to childhood disillusionment. Mostly because a lot of kids don’t imagine Santa living in some town in upstate New York.

41. “Missed me, guys?”

Yes, I've put a lot of bad wax Jesus in these vintage postcard posts. However, this one stands out because he seems to have a goatee.

Yes, I’ve put a lot of bad wax Jesus in these vintage postcard posts. However, this one stands out because he doesn’t seem to have the kind of arm stretching emotion that comes with resurrection.

42. Today Smokey the Bear and Flippy the Fire Porpoise will discuss fire safety.

Of course, putting out a fire is easier if its surrounded by water. And you a dolphin extinguish it.

Of course, putting out a fire is easier if its surrounded by water. And you a dolphin extinguish it. Where’s the educational value in that?

43. Here a Sioux Native American plays his drum at Mt. Rushmore.

While Mt. Rushmore is referred to in this postcard as, "Shrine of Democracy," most Native Americans see it as a "shrine to white people kicking us out, taking over our land, and desecrating our sacred sites." Bet you never heard that before.

While Mt. Rushmore is referred to in this postcard as, “Shrine of Democracy,” most Native Americans see it as a “shrine to white people kicking us out, taking over our land, and desecrating our sacred sites.” Bet you never heard that before.

44. Here we come to a woman standing on a wall.

I doubt that she's managed to defy gravity. However, her checkered pants seem to defy fashion.

I doubt that she’s managed to defy gravity. However, her checkered pants seem to defy fashion.

45. For a Badlands visit, check out Toadstool Forest in South Dakota.

Though the name is Toadstool Forest, it's not a forest nor does anything there resemble a toadstool. Yet, that one rock does resemble a giant rabbit.

Though the name is Toadstool Forest, it’s not a forest nor does anything there resemble a toadstool. Yet, that one rock does resemble a giant rabbit.

46. Along Wyoming’s Lincoln Highway, you’ll find a high statue of the Great Emancipator.

Now I wonder why they decided to go with Lincoln's head instead of the rest of him. I don't understand it. Bad Postcards said it, "Makes him look like a psychopath."

Now I wonder why they decided to go with Lincoln’s head instead of the rest of him. I don’t understand it. Bad Postcards said it, “Makes him look like a psychopath.”

47. Jesus Christ is always with you, even when you’re scuba diving in Florida.

Guess you can say that Jesus is literally swimming with the fishes here. Though he seems to have his arms outstretched more than anything.

Guess you can say that Jesus is literally with the fishes here. Though he seems to have his arms outstretched more than anything.

48. Never thought I’d come across a roadside dinosaur before.

This is from South Dakota by the way. I know it's not as cool as you'd see in Jurassic Park. Still, some states seem to have a thing for large animal statues.

This is from South Dakota by the way. I know it’s not as cool as you’d see in Jurassic Park. Still, some states seem to have a thing for large animal statues.

49. Paul Bunyan and Robin Hood are together at the Enchanted Forest.

And here's Robin Hood complaining about Paul Bunyan's stiffness and bad fashion sense. The two do not get on.

And here’s Robin Hood complaining about Paul Bunyan’s stiffness and bad fashion sense. The two do not get on.

50. Take a picturesque view of Silver Bridge which collapsed into the Ohio River.

Caption: "WORST U.S. HIGHWAY BRIDGE DISASTER IN HISTORY — Occurred Dec. 15, 1967 when Silver Bridge collapsed. It carried U.S. 35 from Knauga, Ohio to Point Pleasant, W. Va. Built 1928 of unique eye-bar and rocker tower design. Forty-six bodies have been found and two still missing. Railroad bridge in background is still in use." Really? This is just in really bad taste.

Caption: “WORST U.S. HIGHWAY BRIDGE DISASTER IN HISTORY — Occurred Dec. 15, 1967 when Silver Bridge collapsed. It carried U.S. 35 from Knauga, Ohio to Point Pleasant, W. Va. Built 1928 of unique eye-bar and rocker tower design. Forty-six bodies have been found and two still missing. Railroad bridge in background is still in use.” Really? This is just in really bad taste.

51. You may have seen St. Louis’s Gateway Arch, but have you been inside it?

Caption: “A roomy observation platform at the top of the Gateway Arch offers 32 windows for viewing a thirty mile panorama of Missouri and Illinois.” However, why they decided to take the rear view of the tourists, I have no idea.

Caption: “A roomy observation platform at the top of the Gateway Arch offers 32 windows for viewing a thirty mile panorama of Missouri and Illinois.” However, why they decided to take the rear view of the tourists, I have no idea.

52. Come over to New England and visit the great state of Massachusetts.

Sorry, but that does not look like Massachusetts. That's shaped like North Dakota with a hook.

Sorry, but that does not look like Massachusetts. That’s shaped like North Dakota with a hook.

53. For your 4th of July celebration, Pedro’s Nutte House has the fireworks you’ll need.

Just don't shoot fireworks on his turf. Also, I think they need to take the, "t" and "e" out of "nutte."

Just don’t shoot fireworks on his turf. Also, I think they need to take the, “t” and “e” out of “nutte.” Not to mention, the sombrero does not help at all.

54. Stay awhile at the Mt. Sunapee Motel in New Hampshire.

Yeah, there's a place called Sunapee. I know it stirs giggles. Also, note the bikini clad woman who just got out of a pool.

Yeah, there’s a place called Sunapee. I know it stirs giggles. Also, note the bikini clad woman who just got out of a pool.

55. Spain’s Juan Ponce de Leon was in search for the Fountain of Youth while he discovered Florida in 1513.

Sure this is a rather tacky and historically inaccurate statue of Ponce de Leon with a swimsuit model. But for Florida, this is just so ironically appropriate.

Sure this is a rather tacky and historically inaccurate statue of Ponce de Leon with a swimsuit model. But for Florida, this is just so ironically appropriate.

56. Big Brother Bob Emery wants kids to drink 4 glasses of United Farmers milk every day.

Now this just has to be one of the creepiest milk ads I've seen. So, kids, drink your milk because Big Brother is watching you.

Now this just has to be one of the creepiest milk ads I’ve seen. So, kids, drink your milk because Big Brother is watching you.

57. Had better dining before? How about try the Beacon Shack?

Sure it's a complete shithole and the food is lousy. But, c'mon, at least they're being honest.

Sure it’s a complete shithole and the food is lousy. But, c’mon, at least they’re being honest.

58. There’s nothing like having a carefree day on the beach.

Can't do a postcard post without a woman in a swimsuit like this one. Of course, why she brought a thin cloth to raise above her head, I have no idea.

Can’t do a postcard post without a woman in a swimsuit like this one. Of course, why she brought a thin cloth to raise above her head, I have no idea.

59. Here we come to a tri-state view of Nebraska, South Dakota, and Iowa.

I know you can't really tell the where each state is in this postcard. Well, neither can I. Perhaps a map might be handy.

I know you can’t really tell the where each state is in this postcard. Well, neither can I. Perhaps a map might be handy.

60. Greetings from Liberal, Kansas, pancake hub of the universe.

Well, at least these women aren't wearing bikinis. But what the hell does this scene have to do with pancakes?

Well, at least these women aren’t wearing bikinis. But what the hell does this scene have to do with pancakes?

61. Here we come to some sagebrush which is the state flower of Nevada.

Caption: "This beautiful scene of sagebrush with its colorful pink blossoms is a common sight in the southwest. It stretches as far as the eye can see and besides being beautiful, has practical purposes, as deer and other wildlife feed on it. Sagebrush blooms only after a heavy rain but will bloom in any season. It’s referred to as Cenizo by many Anglos as well as Latin Americans." When you read the caption, you're expecting to see something more spectacular than brown, desert foliage.

Caption: “This beautiful scene of sagebrush with its colorful pink blossoms is a common sight in the southwest. It stretches as far as the eye can see and besides being beautiful, has practical purposes, as deer and other wildlife feed on it. Sagebrush blooms only after a heavy rain but will bloom in any season. It’s referred to as Cenizo by many Anglos as well as Latin Americans.” When you read the caption, you’re expecting to see something more spectacular than brown, desert foliage.

62. Meet President Lyndon B. Johnson and his wife Ladybird at the White House.

Tumblr member from Bad Postcards: "While the female figure bears some resemblance to Lady Bird, the man hardly looks like LBJ at all. He looks almost more..." Uh, like a psychokiller.

Tumblr member from Bad Postcards: “While the female figure bears some resemblance to Lady Bird, the man hardly looks like LBJ at all. He looks almost more…” Uh, like a psychokiller.

63. Welcome to Cyanmid Laboratories, here are your escorts to show you around.

I think the correct term is "tour guide" escort is another term for prostitute. Also, these outfits are hideous.

I think the correct term is “tour guide” escort is another term for prostitute. Also, these outfits are hideous.

64. There’s nothing better than watering your plants with a blowtorch.

Okay, it's a mister with a jetpack for watering plants. Still, the card say this mist blower gives deep penetration and steady output.

Okay, it’s a mister with a jetpack for watering plants. Still, the card say this mist blower gives deep penetration and steady output.

65. Pennsylvania welcomes you to Gifford Pinchot State Park.

And it seems that this place is starving for tourists since it has swimsuit clad women at the sign. Guess there's nothing to see there.

And it seems that this place is starving for tourists since it has swimsuit clad women at the sign. Guess there’s nothing exciting to see there unless you’re a nature lover.

66. How about spend a day at Pennsylvania’s Monroeville shopping center?

Known for its vast picturesque parking space. Just look at all the untamed streetlights and asphalt.

Known for its vast picturesque parking space. Just look at all the untamed streetlight, concrete, and asphalt.

67. Greetings from Kansas, home of a very long building.

Really Kansas? Surely your state must have something more interesting than an over 1/2 mile long building.

Really Kansas? Surely your state must have something more interesting than an over 1/2 mile long building.

68. Here we see a black bear in its natural habitat in New York’s Central Adirondacks.

So let me get this straight, the Central Adirondacks' idea of promoting tourism is a postcard of a dumpster diving bear. As Bad Postcards says, "We’re on vacation! Let’s go to the dump!"

So let me get this straight, the Central Adirondacks’ idea of promoting tourism is a postcard of a dumpster diving bear. As Bad Postcards says, “We’re on vacation! Let’s go to the dump!”

69. The Sterling Hotel at Greenwood Lake, New York presents the All Girl Topless Band.

I'm sure their performances were not suited for a PG-13 audience. Makes you wonder what kind of place the Sterling Hotel is.

I’m sure their performances were not suited for a PG-13 audience. Makes you wonder what kind of place the Sterling Hotel is. I know I don’t always show nudity but I can’t pass this one up. Best known for their fanservice.

70. Howdy from Nebraska where we herd cattle on our giant jackrabbits.

One of the reasons why cowboys ride on jackrabbits in Nebraska was because the state was once the sight of a large Native American nuclear power plant which suffered a major meltdown. That's why the rabbits are so huge out there.

One of the reasons why cowboys ride on jackrabbits in Nebraska was because the state was once the sight of a large Native American nuclear power plant which suffered a major meltdown. That’s why the rabbits are so huge out there.

What Americans Get Wrong About Undocumented Immigration

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There are very few people in the United States who have been so unfairly exploited, marginalized, vilified, and scapegoated in political smear campaigns than the undocumented immigrants. These are people who have entered the country and reside there without any legal authorization. As of 2016, there are 11.3 million undocumented immigrants living among us throughout the nation. Many of them live in poverty and are vulnerable to exploitation as well as live in fear of their status being discovered, detained, and deported. Some of them came to the US as children and to them America is the only country they know. Many are parents of children who are US citizens and run a high risk of their families being torn apart. These are people whose lives are in limbo but all are human beings who deserve to be treated with dignity as well as contribute to this country. But they suffer immensely for their undocumented immigration status, are denied rights and services most Americans enjoy, have no path to legalization and citizenship, and live every day in isolated fear that the life they’ve built for themselves and families could fall apart. A key centerpiece of Donald Trump’s campaign includes a promise to build an immense wall at the Mexican border and mass deportations. He’s also called Mexicans rapists and criminals which have alienated most Hispanic voters. The fact most undocumented immigrants are Hispanic (with the vast majority being Mexican), such remarks reflect the racism and xenophobia that reflect the anti-immigration movement today. Many also believe that these people have broken the law and should be punished accordingly and deported. But the fact is our immigration system is so outdated and broken that undocumented immigrants usually enter the country illegally because no practical legal immigration channels exist for them. These people are victims of injustice since many of them have built their lives in this country, not criminals which they don’t see themselves. Here I list what Americans get wrong about undocumented immigration, why current undocumented immigration policy is unjust and dehumanizing, and why this nation most desperately needs comprehensive immigration reform that gives undocumented immigrants a path to legalization and citizenship. Sure I might get flack from people in the comments section for my views on undocumented immigration aren’t popular. But undocumented immigrants are human beings.

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Of course, early American colonists didn’t ask permission from those who already lived there to enter into the country. But nobody seems to talk about that. Could it be that the residents were Native Americans and the colonists were white?

  1. Undocumented immigration is a new problem.

Did the original colonists ask the Indians permission to settle their lands? I don’t think so. At any rate, it didn’t end well. Besides, in US history after the colonial era, undocumented immigration was most prevalent during the Gilded Age. Today 3.5% the US population are undocumented immigrants which is equivalent to how many Americans own a boat. Nevertheless, undocumented immigration is more of a problem pertaining to a system, not the individuals.

  1. My ancestors didn’t come here illegally.

Are you sure about that? If you’re of Asian descent and your Asian ancestors came to this country between 1880 and the 1940s, then there’s a very strong chance they came to the US illegally. Mostly because US immigration policy at the time either excluded Asians from entering (save under certain circumstances) or had very small quotas on arrivals from Asian countries. Chinese immigrants used a variety of techniques to enter the country such as changing their names or showing pictures to officials of fake relatives already living there. And even if Asian immigrants managed to enter the country legally, they were still banned from becoming citizens. Basically, the only way for an Asian to have American citizenship at the time was being born there. Also, being European descent doesn’t mean your ancestors came to this country legally either. Because there were plenty who arrived to the US as ship stowaways, used false papers like citizenship documents, hid previous criminal behavior, bribed officials and captains, forged medical records, traveled as first class passengers who were only given cursory examinations.Oh, and there were plenty of Mexicans and other folks from Latin America crossing the border. Besides, it’s very clear that restrictive immigration policies in the US were often used to keep racial and ethnic minorities from entering.

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Here is a chart on immigrants from the Pew Hispanic Center in 2005. Note that over half of them are either legal permanent residents or naturalized citizens.

  1. Most immigrants today are undocumented.

75% of all immigrants in the US are legal. Out of the 25% who are undocumented, 40% of them entered legally but overstayed their temporary (non-immigrant) visas without renewal.

  1. Most undocumented immigrants are border crossers.

Nearly a third to a half of all undocumented immigrants in the United States today have entered legally but overstayed their visas or failed to renew their green cards. Also, a lot of undocumented immigrants also came to this country by plane or boat.

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There’s a group at the US-Mexican border called the Minutmen Militia who are a group off self-appointed and heavily armed border patrollers who are known to threaten and shoot anyone they suspect as an undocumented immigrant trying to get across. Though their numbers have been declining since their heyday in the mid-2000s, they are nativist extremists who deserve to be in prison.

  1. More US border enforcement will deter undocumented immigration.

More incentives to make it easier for immigrants to renew their visas or pursue paths to permanent residents or citizenship will be more effective. Besides, the border between the US and Mexico is almost 2,000 miles long, spanning difficult terrain that includes deserts and mountains. Add to that much of the area is private property which the government will have to buy from owners if you want to build a wall there. Many don’t want to sell their land. Also, the logistics alone in building Mr. Cheetohead’s wall are either very difficult, if not impossible. Not only that, but history has shown that people find ways to cross walls. The Great Wall of China didn’t deter Mongol invaders nor did the Berlin Wall keep East Germans from fleeing the Eastern Bloc. In the US, should Mr. Angry-Oompah Loompah’s wall be built, experts predict coyotes (human smugglers who charge migrants high rates to cross the border) to dig tunnels and create breaches. This would increase smuggling prices, making such process simply more lucrative for those who merely exploit migrants. And even if that didn’t happen, people will still come to the US wanting to seek better life. Hell, many undocumented immigrants are willing to risk their lives for that, let alone breaking the law and deportation. No wall can deter that.

  1. Undocumented immigrants don’t want to learn English.

Most immigrants usually learn English within 10 years after arrival and there is a great ESL demand for them that far exceed the supply. Many immigrants also learn some English while on the job, whether they arrived to the country legally or not. But while undocumented children usually learn English in school, most undocumented adults simply don’t have the resources.

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Here’s a chart showing the how the rate of naturalizations per year is often outnumbered by the number of petitions for citizenship filed. And this chart pertains to the legal immigrants who can become citizens. As for undocumented immigrants, most of them do want to become citizens since the majority have lived in this country for 10-15 years. It’s just they can’t.

  1. Undocumented immigrants don’t want to become American citizens.

There are plenty of immigrants who become citizens in which they have to overcome obstacles like getting here, finding a job, language barriers, naturalization fees, a lethargic immigration bureaucracy, and a written citizenship test. These people don’t take becoming American lightly. Currently, 47% of immigrants are naturalized citizens. And let’s just say attaining citizenship isn’t easy since the naturalization process involves untenable wait times, often too few spots, and requiring expensive filing fees. In other words, the US immigration system is an outdated, expensive, and convoluted one which doesn’t help the immigrants seeking citizenship as the proportion has grown significantly. And that’s only for those lucky legal residents. Besides, there are plenty undocumented immigrants who have resided in this country for years, some nearly their whole lives. 86% of undocumented immigrants have been in the country since 2005 (while a third have lived there for 15+ years). Nearly half of them are parents of minor children while 2 million came to the country as children. So if these people aren’t citizens it’s not a matter of wanting to because most of them clearly want to stay in the country. It’s just that their immigration status doesn’t allow them. Because it’s very likely that most of these people would’ve taken advantage of that opportunity by now.

  1. Undocumented immigrants are a drain on our economy.

Most undocumented immigrants who enter the country are of prime working age and they work pretty shitty jobs. Not to mention, the only impact undocumented immigrants have on wages would be in firms that hire them as well as their documented counterparts (as well as the unscrupulous employers who hire them). There are some undocumented immigrants who even start businesses and create jobs that wouldn’t exist without them. We also forget the fact that undocumented immigrants are consumers who buy stuff in American stores that also contributes to the economy.

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This billboard from Arizona tends to also spread a lot of misinformation about undocumented immigrants. Contrary to this, most undocumented immigrants pay taxes and are ineligible for most government programs. Whoever erected this Arizona billboard is a complete tool.

  1. Undocumented immigrants don’t pay taxes but still get benefits such as education for their children.

Yes, there are undocumented immigrant children who do attend public schools as well as US citizen children with undocumented parents. However, undocumented immigrants do spend money in this country and most states have sales taxes. Also, many have property taxes as well whenever they rent or buy a house or apartment. And since many might need transportation for a job, many pay excise taxes when they stop for gas. In fact, the Social Security estimates that half to 3 quarters of undocumented immigrants pay federal, state, and local taxes, a lot of which go to benefits they’ll never receive. Besides, most undocumented immigrants work for employers who either don’t know they’re undocumented or don’t want to know. For instance, employers in 2009, reported paying $72.8 billion in wages to 7 million workers without legitimate Social Security numbers. Undocumented immigrants can send their children to school or receive medical care in the ER as well as public health immunizations. But since they lack essential documents, they aren’t eligible for welfare, Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, public housing, or food stamps. And many don’t even seek them even if their children are eligible (because you know, fear of deportation). So it’s very unlikely that they’re receiving benefits at the taxpayers’ expense (though people might have to pay for their care in the ER through their insurance since they’re a lot more likely to be uninsured and ineligible for government medical benefits. Even so, they use disproportionately less medical services and contribute less to healthcare costs). Hell, there are some programs not even lawful immigrants are eligible for until they’ve been in the country for at least 5 years. Thus, it’s more likely, that undocumented immigrants pay more in taxes than they receive in benefits which many can’t even access like $80,000 more. Hell, it’s even estimated that giving all these undocumented immigrants a clear path to citizenship, tax revenues could increase by $845 million a year once fully in place just at state and local levels. Give them higher wages and ability to file income taxes like the rest of us and their net tax contribution can go up to $2.2 billion in addition to the $11 billion they already pay.

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And here’s a graph on how much undocumented immigrants pay in state and local taxes. these include income, property, sales, and excise. Many of these will go to programs that will never benefit them. So even though undocumented immigrants aren’t living here legally, they’re not living here for free.

  1. Most undocumented immigrants are Latino.

This might be true when it comes to those crossing the border into Texas. However, there are plenty of immigrants who aren’t out of those who’ve overstayed their visas.And they come from all over the world, particularly Asia. Besides, Asian undocumented immigrants are on the rise.

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For a time there was a movement among Republicans for getting rid of birthright citizenship as well as the insidious notion of “anchor babies,” which has no basis in reality. Because it’s been well known that just because undocumented immigrants have US citizen children, doesn’t mean they’re less likely to be deported. Because 5,100 American children are in foster care because their parents were either deported or at some immigration detention center. Deportation tears families apart.

  1. “Anchor babies” keep their parents in the United States.

Today nearly 5 million undocumented immigrants are in families with minor children. Only 1 million of these minor children in undocumented families are undocumented themselves while 4.5. million of them are native born US citizen. This comprises of 9 million people living in mixed status families, often with one undocumented parent and at least one child born in the US. However, there have been 108,000 parents of US born citizens who were deported over the last decade. Thus, being a parent of a native born citizen doesn’t guarantee them any right to stay in the US. Besides, in order for the “anchor baby” scheme to work, the child in question must turn 21 before they can sponsor a parent for legal entry in the US using form I-130. So this would mean that undocumented immigrants would have to stay for 21 years before their “anchor baby” could keep them in the country. This assuming that they return to their home country and not personally raise their child for 10 years. And unlawful entry usually result in deportation as well as 3-10 year bars to eventually a permanent bar. So it’s not a practical solution. Most undocumented immigrants tend to be deported earlier whether their kids are American citizens or not. The fact undocumented parents of US citizens can still be deported for their immigration status is a very serious problem (if not, then outright cruel since it tears families apart). Nevertheless, despite what Mr. Hamsterhair and fellow Republicans might say, I would never advocate that the US do away with birthright citizenship because it’s a wonderful thing (as well as the rest of the Fourteenth Amendment I might add). So, yes, I do think having a child who’s a US citizen should allow their undocumented immigrant parents to stay because keeping families together is the right thing to do. It’s especially the case for infant children and their mothers or children with single parents. Unfortunately, “anchor babies” don’t prevent deportation much.

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Though Republicans like to think that undocumented immigrants come to the US to have “anchor babies,” most of them come to this country for the same reasons as their legal counterparts. In this graph on undocumented Latinos, the two biggest reasons are for better jobs and opportunities and better life for family and children.

  1. Most undocumented immigrants come to this country to have “anchor babies.”

While birthright citizenship is a wonderful thing, having an American child has no effect on a foreign parent’s immigration status whether undocumented or not. Research consistently shows that immigrants mostly come to the US for economic opportunity, build a better life for their families and kids, as well as flee violence, persecution, or poverty. Immigration trends tend to be consistent with US economic activity. Besides, if people were coming to the US to solely have children, we’d expect to see the same number of women as men. But research has shown that there are many more young men coming to the US than young women. Then there’s the fact that undocumented immigrants do not personally receive any legal benefits whatsoever for having children on American soil. In fact, they’re just as prone to deportation as any undocumented immigrants who don’t. Need proof? Ask the 5,100 American children currently in foster care because their undocumented parents had no access to adjust to a legal immigration status so they could stay in the country as well as were unlucky enough for law enforcement to find out about it. Thus, they’ve either been detained or deported.

  1. Undocumented immigrants are criminals because they didn’t enter the country through the proper legal channels.

Under federal law, undocumented immigrants aren’t considered criminals because undocumented immigration is a civil offense and tried in civil courts. The punishment is usually deportation and ban on reentry. Criminals violate serious laws and are tried in criminal courts, which usually results in imprisonment. Besides, most undocumented immigrants tend to have very legitimate reasons for not entering the country through proper legal channels. Mostly because they were simply not available to them in the first place (because the US only distributes 5,000 visas to low-skill workers each year and there’s a 4.4 million people line for that green card lottery, many who’ve waited for years or even decades). And that obtaining legal status or citizenship is impossible for them. Add to that the fear that many fear deportation as well as what would happen to their US citizen children if they’re not around. If an undocumented immigrant chose to enter the country illegally, it was mainly because illegal entry was their only viable option while the legal alternatives simply didn’t exist.

  1. There are more undocumented immigrants in the US than ever before.

There were more undocumented immigrants in the US during the Gilded Age mainly due to a large foreign born population as well as racist immigration quotas that severely restricted certain groups from entering, particularly East Asians.

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Those who are against immigration reform, often say that undocumented immigrants bring crime or are criminals. Studies have shown that immigrants are less likely to commit crimes than their native born children and other citizens, regardless of legal status. Because the realistic possibility of getting deported or obtaining citizenship brings a very high incentive to obey the law.

  1. Undocumented immigrants bring crime.

They are more likely to become victims of crimes that never get prosecuted since their undocumented status makes them especially vulnerable. After all, they’re 70% less likely to call police to report themselves as victims because they’re unwilling to risk deportation. And they’re right to fear that since 240,000 undocumented immigrants with zero prior convictions have been deported under the Obama administration compared to 200,000 who did. Still, most crime statistics over the last 70 years would point out that immigrants have lower incarceration rates than native born Americans even for the most minor offenses. Legal immigrants know that even committing the most minor offenses might can count against them when they’re going through the naturalization process. The criminality rate among immigrant families increases with each generation born in the US. So instead of bringing criminality to this country, they tend to grow into it as they become more American. Not to mention, it says a lot that 3 out of 4 people caught bringing drugs across the border are US citizens. As immigration has risen, crime rates have declined even in the poorest neighborhoods. Undocumented immigrants are usually sent through the deportation process if they’re arrested. Thus, they have a very high incentive not to break the law.

  1. Undocumented immigrants take good jobs away from Americans.

Most undocumented immigrants usually take jobs Americans don’t want like in the low-income service industry. This thanks to better education and an aging population that most native-born Americans prefer to take jobs in management, professional, sales, and office occupations. And many undocumented immigrants take certain service and menial labor jobs because they don’t have the skills or education or there are no better jobs available (I’m talking general trends but some do become managers). Nevertheless, undocumented immigrants are very prone to exploitation by unscrupulous employers and are more likely to be paid below minimum wage. They’re also prone to occupational hazards and less likely to receive benefits. Also take account they are much more likely to have their wages stolen by their employers. Still, undocumented immigrants don’t compete for the same jobs as native born Americans even in the low-income sector (like service occupations where you’ll have to be present for the customers like at a restaurant or a store). It’s also often said native born and undocumented workers tend to possess different skills that complement one another. Some may even start businesses and even create jobs that wouldn’t exist without them. We should also be aware that undocumented immigrants buy stuff in this country as consumers which also creates jobs. Besides, there are no negative effects of immigration on most native workers’ wages anyway (because negative effects on wages have more to do with greedy employers than anything).

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Too many people like this idiot protester tend to believe that undocumented immigrants could’ve simply entered the US legally. Unfortunately, unless they’re willing to wait decades for authorization or get extremely lucky with the 5,000 low-skill worker green card lottery, most poor immigrants don’t have any legal options. Also, no programs exist for undocumented immigrants to obtain a legal status, let alone citizenship. If there was, then they’d certainly take advantage of it.

  1. There’s a way to enter the country legally for anyone who wants to get in.

Most poor people who enter have few skills to stand in and gain permanent US residency. So there’s no “line” for them. This is because gaining permission to stay in the US is limited to people who are highly trained in a skill that is in short supply here and were offered a job by a US employer, escaping political persecution, joining close family already here, or got lucky in the green card lottery (that only has 5,000 slots for low skill workers). I’m sure “anchor babies” and green card marriages aren’t desirable strategies either. While the US had an open immigration system for its first 100 years, many citizens’ immigrant ancestors arrived between 1790 and 1924 wouldn’t even be allowed to enter in today under the current policy (or even under policy then but plenty got in, anyway like Asians who were mostly low-skilled workers as well). There are many rules about who can enter the country and stay legally. Also according to the State Department, that imaginary “immigration line” is already 4.4 million people long and depending on the type of visa sought, the wait can be for years to decades long. In some countries such as the Philippines and Mexico, people have been waiting for 20 years for approval of a family-sponsored visa (which usually takes about 5-6 years). In many poor, violence ridden countries, or where parents are separated from their children, immigrants say the wait is unbearable, leaving many to resort to illegal border crossings. The journey can be dangerous. Not to mention, the US currently has no program whatsoever for undocumented immigrants to adjust to a legal status, let alone citizenship. Most of these people want nothing more than play by the rules and legalize their status but most of them have no legal way to enter or remain in the US. This is wrong, especially when we’re talking about undocumented parents with American born children.

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To deport undocumented immigrants is not just impractical and economical, it’s also downright cruel. All that deportation will accomplish will be families torn apart, more American children in foster care and utterly traumatized, lost jobs, wasted tax money, and an overall humanitarian crisis.

  1. Undocumented immigrants can and should be deported from the United States.

If we got rid of all the undocumented immigrants in this country, it would be a real government and social nightmare. For one, there are approximately 11 million undocumented immigrants in the US and it would be impossible to locate and deport that many people. Then there’s the fact that they have an estimated 4.5 million children born on US soil whom the government would have to put in foster homes. Hell, at least 5,100 native born kids are in foster care now because their parents have been detained or deported. Deportation will often result in family separation which will pose serious risks to children’s immediate safety, economic security, well-being, and long-term development. Other effects include housing instability, food hardship, and adverse behavioral changes. That’s not talking about the citizen children being traumatized and vulnerable by the whole experience along with entire communities (who may also have undocumented immigrants and their US citizen children living there, too). Not to mention, it’s unlikely that native born Americans would want to do the lousy back-breaking agricultural work and other menial labor for minimum wage and no benefits that undocumented immigrants do which is said to be at 50 to 60%. Then there’s the fact mass deportation would lead to remove millions of taxpayers, consumers, and entrepreneurs as well as cost jobs in the economy.

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Here’s a cartoon of the Holy Family being besieged by ICE feds in the stable. Undocumented immigrant families fear deportation and family separation on a daily basis. The fact deportation rips families apart should illustrate why such a practice is morally inexcuseable.

  1. Denying undocumented immigrants from obtaining a drivers’ license will solve the problem.

Almost all American workers need to drive great distances to get to work, and undocumented workers are no exception, especially if they work on a farm. Some even drive for a living. Most US citizens would agree that everyone driving on the highways should complete a driver’s course to qualify for a driver’s license would be better for public safety. Thus, not worth it.

  1. Our undocumented immigration problems would be solved if employers were required to verify the Social Security Numbers for every employee.

It could but only as long as there’s a legalization program put in place at the same time which the US doesn’t have at the moment. Thus, such a policy would create chaos in multiple sectors of the US economy, especially in the agricultural industry complex. The tourist industry would suffer as well since many undocumented immigrants are employed in low skills jobs like dishwashers, janitors, chambermaids, and others.

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While comprehensive immigration reform may be a highly contentious issue that brings out a lot of racism, nativism, and xenaphobia, most Americans support it. According to pew 72% of Americans want undocumented immigrants to remain in the country with some legal status.

  1. Most Americans don’t support immigration reform.

Newsflash: most do, particularly when it comes to allowing undocumented immigrants to obtain legal status so long as they have a strong work history, don’t commit any crimes or get deported, pay taxes, learn some English, and pay fines. Because if an undocumented immigrant has lived in the US for at least 10-15 years, has a steady job, paid taxes, raised American children, observe the law, and minded their own business, then they should be able to remain in the country.

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Those who believe that immigration restrictions will lead to a secure society have no idea of how law enforcement depends on its relationship with the community. And most police don’t want undocumented immigrants to fear deportation. Besides, history has shown that restrictions don’t deter undocumented immigration. However, Metropolis’s safety is a toss up.

  1. Restrictions to undocumented immigration will lead to a secure society.

Enforcing laws make it difficult for undocumented immigrants to contact law enforcement which can have an adverse effect on overall security in society. If immigrants fear deportation, then they’re less likely to report on criminal activities, which can interfere with creating a safe community. This is why many local areas have sanctuary cities since protecting law-abiding undocumented immigrants from deportation does keep people safe. Not only that, but rigid limits on legal entry have already fueled undocumented immigration as we speak (such as East Asian immigrants during the Gilded Age).

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Green card marriage fraud is another allegation Republicans make when pertaining to undocumented immigrants. However, since the US government and Homeland Security have been familiar with green card marriages being one of the easiest ways for foreigners to remain in the country, this is not a viable option. By the way, this is from a movie called Green Card from the 1980s starring Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell.

  1. Undocumented immigrants tend to gain citizenship through marriage fraud.

For one, there are a lot of undocumented immigrants who are already married and thus ineligible or unwilling to commit to an American citizen for a green card. Secondly, the US has been quite successful in deterring this for quite some time which usually result in offenders being caught and convicted with heavy penalties like deportation. Homeland Security is a pro at detecting these so most undocumented immigrants won’t even try it. And even if an undocumented immigrant does have an American spouse, this may not mean they’re safe from deportation. Or not without a tedious process that could possibly take years (despite it being in an easier position to get a green card than most undocumented immigrants). Because a lot of undocumented immigrants with American spouses do face threats of deportation even if both partners are living together.

  1. Undocumented immigrants bring diseases into the US.

Well, this was certainly true in this country’s colonial period since we know what happened to the Native Americans. However, although people claimed that undocumented immigrants have brought diseases to the US including measles, hepatitis C, HIV, tuberculosis, and even ebola, these claims aren’t supported by science or medicine. There is no evidence that immigrants have been the source of modern outbreaks in the US since 113 countries, including many in Latin America have higher vaccination rates for 1 year olds. Mexico has a 99% vaccination rate for measles while Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras have around a 93% vaccination rate. US vaccination rate is about 92%.

  1. Terrorists are infiltrating the US by coming across the Mexican border.

There’s no evidence that terrorists are entering the US through the Mexican border. According to the Department of Homeland Security, “the suggestion that individuals that have ties to ISIL have been apprehended at the southwest border is categorically false, and not supported by any credible intelligence or facts on the ground.” In 2015, the US Department of State, Bureau of Counterterrorism added, “there are no known international terrorist organizations operating in Mexico, despite several erroneous reports to the contrary during 2014.” In fact, the vast majority of US residents linked to terror since 2002 are US citizens. Also, those 9/11 hijackers came to the US through legal means and not through crossing the Mexican border either.

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While there are undocumented immigrant children in American schools, they only make a small percentage of US schoolchildren. And they only constitute a minority of kids who are children of undocumented parents.

  1. US schools are overflowing with undocumented immigrants.

About 7% of all K-12 students in the US had at least one undocumented immigrant parent in according to Pew in 2012. Of these students 79% were born in the US, making them US citizens. So undocumented immigrant children are a very small segment of that population enrolled in American schools. Those with the largest shares of children with at least one undocumented immigrant parent are Nevada (18%), California (13%), Texas (13%), and Arizona (11%), all of which have less than 20%.

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Along with saying that undocumented immigrants bring crime, many anti-immigration folks claim that sanctuary cities are criminal hellholes that protect the guilty. In reality, they’re anything but because a lot of sanctuary cities’ staunchest defenders are local and state law enforcement. This is mostly because sanctuary citizens protect undocumented immigrants from deportation as long as they don’t commit any crimes. Such practice allows police to build relationships with more immigrant residents as well as improve their ability to fight crime. Unfortunately, sanctuary cities aren’t very popular among the general public.

  1. Sanctuary cities are criminal hellholes.

Now sanctuary cities are places where officials have explicitly or implicitly said they won’t prosecute undocumented residents solely because of their immigration status or if they would otherwise qualify for release. Most sanctuary cities tend operate on a “don’t ask, don’t tell,” basis. Meaning that law enforcement and municipal officials can’t inquire on an individual’s immigration status and can’t share such information with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). So long as the undocumented immigrant in question minds their own business and doesn’t commit any crimes. Such policies could be in ordinances, laws, resolution, or law enforcement directive. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that these areas won’t cooperate with Homeland Security completely. Because that’s not necessarily the case. There are over 300 of such places in the US. However, what you may not know is that sanctuary city measures became law in these areas thanks to community activists and local law enforcement efforts. Why? Well, because not checking whether a person is undocumented actually makes it easier for police to do their job and helps deter crime since undocumented immigrants don’t have to worry about being deported if they report anything to the police or over a speeding ticket. Because deportation fears are the main reason why undocumented immigrants in the US are 70% less likely to report themselves as victims when something terrible happens. Such fears make it harder for law enforcement to keep their cities safe because it prevents detectives from having access to potential victims, witnesses, snitches, or neighborhood advocates. Not having that access might keep local law enforcement from catching criminals and putting them in jail, particularly since undocumented immigrants tend to be particularly vulnerable in becoming crime victims. Sanctuary city policies have allowed police build bridges with immigrant communities, earn trust from immigrant residents, and improved their ability to fight crime and protect the entire community from harm. They also spare taxpayers from the expense of arresting and holding people the feds are in no hurry to deport. The federal government isn’t a fan of sanctuary cities (since they might be illegal) and public opinion isn’t very high. Many Republicans would want to see these places punished and denied crime-fighting federal funding. But contrary to popular belief, sanctuary cities aren’t nearly the criminal hellholes anti-immigration politicians make them out to be and it’s wrong to punish them. Besides, the federal government isn’t giving sanctuary to the undocumented immigrants who clearly should have a right to stay.

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If there’s a reason why we should leave sanctuary cities, it is because they provide mercy for a group of people whose very presence makes them susceptible to deportation. And these are people who have families as well as built their lives in this country. Besides, deportation tears families apart and is morally unconscionable. I’m sorry, but it’s just cruel.

  1. Immigration reform is another form of amnesty.

If immigration reform includes a pathway to citizenship for the 11 million undocumented immigrants already living here, it will be a rigorous path. Under the Senate’s proposed Border Security, Economic Opportunity, and Immigration Modernization Act of 2013, they would have to wait 10 years for a chance at permanent residency and 3 more for citizenship. On top of that they’d have to pay $2,000 in fines along with hundreds of dollars in fees and taxes. Not to mention, they’d also be required to learn English, pass criminal background checks, as well as prove to have lived continuously in the US and have been regularly employed during this time. Not exactly a free ride, but it gives more undocumented immigrants a way to become citizens than the current system. Also, what the hell is wrong with amnesty anyway? (Nothing).

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Arizona’s S.B. 1070 is a notorious example of anti-immigration policy at its worse. Not only does it make police officers immigration agents (which police don’t want), it also encourages racial profiling which make even Hispanics squirm regardless of legal status.

  1. An immigration law like in Arizona will solve our immigration situation.

No, it will not. For those who don’t know, there’s this law in Arizona in which requires police to determine the immigration status of someone arrested or detained when there’s a “reasonable suspicion” they aren’t in the US legally. Its passage in 2010 sparked many angry protests across the country until local and federal courts overturned parts of it. Mostly because it encourages racial profiling on Hispanics. That law in Arizona is an overreaction that can be best compared to 1942 Japanese internment camp policy. Besides at least 30% of Arizona’s citizens are Hispanic and legal. The Arizona law is vague and only invites discrimination against them. Arizona’s police chiefs opposed the measure because most police don’t want to identify non-criminal undocumented immigrants for deportation and don’t want to be seen as immigration agents. Mostly because they believe doing so would make it harder to build for them to earn the immigrant residents’ trust as well as protect the community. Treating undocumented immigrants like criminals is not the answer.

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This is a group of undocumented students demonstrating for the opportunity for a college education. These kids particularly have a hard time being able to do so because their immigration status makes them legally ineligible for the financial aid their legal counterparts take for granted. And even if they do graduate and/or go on for advanced degrees, they are legally barred from entering any profession that requires a license.

  1. Undocumented students have the same opportunities as their documented peers.

Sorry, but this isn’t true at all. Aside from the usual socioeconomics, fears of deportation, and ineligibility for social services, undocumented students don’t have the same opportunities as their documented peers at all. While most children of undocumented immigrants don’t graduate from high school, not all of them have the same opportunities. Of course, economics certainly plays a critical role here since most undocumented immigrants are poor and it’s certainly a reason why many of their children don’t finish high school. And I’m very aware that many of these kids who do graduate may not be college material. However, the difference becomes very apparent when pertains to children of undocumented immigrants who do graduate and are college eligible. Those who were born in the US will have access to a college education as well as all the rights they’re guaranteed as citizens. Those who weren’t, will have to face legal barriers that deny them the resources and opportunities necessary that might make a college education virtually inaccessible. Undocumented students can’t legally receive any federal funded student financial aid including loans, grants, scholarships, or work-study money (because undocumented immigrants are barred from receiving any grants and loans under federal law). Only 5 states allow instate tuition for undocumented students while most private grants, scholarships, and loans require either citizenship or permanent resident status (which they can’t get). Many of them will denied a college education because they’ll simply be unable to afford it without the financial aid they need but can’t have. Even if these undocumented students do graduate from college (or receive other vocational training), they may not be able enter certain career paths because they’re barred from receiving a professional license under federal law. This means undocumented immigrants legally can’t be doctors, lawyers, accountants, pharmacists, engineers, architects, nurses, land surveyors, cosmetologists, building contractors, therapists, electricians, and others. Sometimes this can vary by state law but it’s said that 30% of American workers need licenses to do their jobs. Thus, 30% of Americans workers are in careers that undocumented immigrants can’t pursue. To deny an undocumented child an education or other benefits and opportunities is simply discriminatory. Most of these kids didn’t choose to come here and some grew up perhaps unaware of their immigration status for most of their lives. Some may not discover their status until they’re much older. One of the reasons for the DACA and Dream Act under Obama was so most undocumented immigrant students can have legal status as well as legal access to an education all through college. Now with the Supreme Court being impasse on Obama’s immigration policy, so many undocumented children might be in limbo.

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Here is another group of undocumented students who are demonstrating in support of the DREAM Act. Because they don’t have the kind of opportunities as their legal counterparts and it’s a real shame. After all, these students came to the US as children and are legally barred from certain opportunities due to extenuating circumstances. This isn’t right.

  1. Undocumented immigrants are lazy.

96% of undocumented immigrants are employed, exceeding the labor force participation rate of their legal counterparts as well as US citizens. Many work 2 or more jobs. Besides, it’s clear that employment is a driving force behind undocumented immigration with many industries such as restaurants, hotels, and agriculture reporting a reliance on them. Thus, most undocumented immigrants came to this country to provide for themselves and their families.

  1. Undocumented immigrants don’t contribute anything to society.

Uh, since most undocumented immigrants are employed, most of them also pay taxes as well as goods and services. Some of them even end up starting their own businesses. Many even pay rent or have their own homes. So to say that undocumented immigrants don’t contribute anything to society is absurd.

  1. Undocumented immigrants bring down wages.

Only in low-skill and low-wage jobs and this minimal. But this is mostly because they lack legal status. Undocumented workers are exploited as well as constantly threatened with the possibility of deportation. Thus, they’re often forced to put up with low pay and poor conditions as well as be most prone to wage theft (in which employers fail to pay them what’s rightfully owed). Most studies show that legalization would raise wages in these types of jobs, because workers can organize for better pay and employers cannot scare immigrants into accepting a poor deal. At least at a general legal level (because US businesses can still ban workers from joining a union like Wal Mart, unfortunately). Nevertheless, undocumented immigrants don’t bring down wages, their unscrupulous employers do.

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Here is an infographic showing the economic impact of comprehensive immigration reform. By granting undocumented immigrants a path to legalization and citizenship, more jobs would be created while incomes and revenues would increase across the war.

  1. Comprehensive immigration reform that includes a pathway to citizenship for undocumented workers would hurt the economy.

Comprehensive immigration reform including a pathway to citizenship for undocumented workers could yield at least $1.5 trillion US GDP in over 10 years. Because eliminating the undocumented underclass workers that employees use to undercut wages and drive down standards, comprehensive immigration reform will ensure that all workers have full labor rights, resulting in higher wages across the board.

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This Princeton pamphlet for undocumented immigrants points out that these people have the right to remain silent, right to legal representation, and a right to make a call when they’re arrested. Their children also have a right to a free K-12 education as well.

  1. Undocumented immigrants are without rights in the United States.

Undocumented immigrants do have rights in the US under the US Constitution and federal statutes such as equal protection under the law (even non-citizens) and can’t be denied due process under the 14th Amendment including the right to remain silent and the right to an attorney as well as the right to be protected against unwarranted searches and seizures under the 4th Amendment. Undocumented children also have the right to a free, public K-12 education. Undocumented immigrants also have a right to receive emergency services from publicly funded hospitals, protection from workplace discrimination, emergency and disaster relief, and others.

  1. Employers may easily and accurately determine whether an immigrant is adequately documented.

According to US Chamber of Commerce Vice President Randel K. Johnson, “The current system has made it impossible for employers to really know who is actually authorized to work and who is not.” It is possible for employers to hire undocumented immigrants unintentionally which might happen when they present falsified documentation or when an employer fails to verify their work eligibility. Yet, since 1986, all employers have to verify identity and work eligibility for all new employees at the time they’re hired by filling out an I-9 verification form. Many employers are unaware or do it poorly or incorrectly. Completing this form requires skills and knowledge: there’s a list of acceptable documents and many exceptions, it’s difficult to know if a document is genuine, acceptable, or still valid. Moreover, employers face penalties for discriminating against well-documented immigrants even if their intention was to avoid hiring undocumented ones. In addition, the US immigration system doesn’t meet the needs of American business who must face lengthy delays before hiring foreign workers. Not only that, but there are many employers who hire undocumented workers and know it but either don’t care or use their status to exploit them.

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The idea that undocumented immigrants prefer to remain in the US illegally have no idea that these people have no realistic alternative for legal entry. If any undocumented immigrants had any option to enter legally, they would take it.

  1. Undocumented immigrants prefer to remain in the US illegally.

Undocumented immigrants who face economic hardship, life threatening situations, or persecution believe they have no reasonable alternative to becoming undocumented either because they don’t meet the strict criteria to immigrate to the US or because they can’t afford to wait 10, 15, or 20 years to obtain a visa. Some legal immigrants who become undocumented due to visa overstays even after applying for a visa extension are only due to government processing delays. Not to mention, some undocumented immigrants are brought to the US as children and at times, grow up here not knowing of their immigration status. They have absolutely no path to become legal residents without facing as much as a 10 year ban as well as deportation despite extenuating circumstances. Then there are undocumented immigrants who have spouses and children who are US citizens. Would you say these people prefer to stay undocumented and risk being taken away from their families? Nearly all undocumented immigrants would legalize their status if they had the opportunity.

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This is a rough graph of undocumented immigrants living in the US. Most of them live in just 6 states and only make a small fraction of the labor force. Children of undocumented immigrants only make 7% of the school population.

  1. Undocumented immigrants are mostly single men.

Over 40% of undocumented immigrants are women and most undocumented men are either married or in families (54%). Fewer than half of undocumented immigrants are unattached and single men. There are also 267,000 undocumented immigrants who are part of the LGBT community, too.

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While many Republicans say that most undocumented immigrant children are unauthorized, most of them are US citizens. And many of them have hard lives. This little boy is a US citizen who has to worry about the possibility of his dad being deported. If you think undocumented immigrants should be deported, then explain to him why such immigration policy should deny him a father in his life. You can’t.

  1. Most children of undocumented immigrants are unauthorized.

While undocumented children do exist, most children of undocumented immigrants are native born US citizens and members of mixed-status families. Nevertheless, these American children don’t have a great quality of life and are set up for failure. The majority of these kids don’t graduate from high school, averaging 2 fewer years than those with legal immigrant parents. Reasons for this are said to be stress, pressure to work at a younger age, poverty, and not having the economic resources needed for a higher education. They also are more likely to experience linguistic isolation, have limited English proficiency, have poor health outcomes, be uninsured, and are less likely to be enrolled in preschool. Nearly half are in households where no member over the age of 14 speaks English very well. For many of these children, their undocumented parents and relatives may be their main caretakers as well as their only means of support. If they’re aware of their parents’ immigration status, they may grow up living in fear that their someone will come in and take their parents away from them. And they live with such fears every day in their lives. 5,100 US children are now in foster care because they had nowhere else to go after ICE got a hold of their parents. While immigration reform that gives these children’s undocumented parents a path to legal status and citizenship won’t solve all their problems, it will at least give them some stability in their lives.

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Caption: “Estrella Manuel, 2, holds an American flag in her mouth during a news conference in Miami Wednesday, June 17, 2009. Roughly 150 children are suing President Barack Obama to halt the deportations of their parents until Congress overhauls U.S. immigration laws. The U.S.-born children say their constitutional rights are being violated because they, too, will likely have to leave the country if their parents are forced to leave.” Unless the US passes comprehensive immigration reform that gives undocumented immigrants a path to legalization and citizenship, these children will be condemned to live on the margins of prosperity, opportunity, and hope. Some of them also run the risk of having their parents taken away from them and possibly ending up in foster care. This is wrong.

  1. The US immigration system works and immigration laws are just.

Such notions like, “But they came here illegally!” assume the system works when the US immigration system hasn’t been reformed in decades to meet our country’s real needs as families, businesses, and workers. When you have laws that don’t match the reality, you have to change them. Besides, a lot of the immigration laws we have now don’t make any sense and our immigration system is broken since it keeps families apart, only 5,000 low-skilled visas are issued a year when there’s a 400,000 low-skilled job demand, and if they wish to enter legally, then they have to wait in line behind people that have been waiting in the legal backlog for years.  Would you say a system is just by denying countless people a right to stay in a country where they lived for decades, raised their children, obeyed the laws, paid their taxes, and just minded their own business? Would you say a system is just when it denies children the right to pursue a college education or pursue careers that require a professional license only due to extenuating circumstances? Would you say a system is just when it denies children certain rights they feel entitled to have in the only country they know such as the right to stay without fearing deportation? Would you say a system is just when 11 million people in this country have no way to pursue a path to legalization, let alone citizenship? Would you say a system is just which has torn families apart as well as put 5,100 children in foster care? Would you say a system is just when it makes legal entry for millions of people almost impossible? If you say yes to any of these questions, you must be a xenophobic racist, living in the white affluent bubble of delusion, or both. Because the US immigration system simply doesn’t work.

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This is a girl with a cross saying no more deportations and an American flag. Whether she’s undocumented or a native born US citizen of undocumented parents should be of no concern to you. But the fact her life would be drastically improved if undocumented immigrants had access to legalization and citizenship should. Please, we don’t need any more families being torn apart by deportation.

The Indigenous Peoples of North America: Part 10 – The Southeastern Woodlands

A coastal Safety Harbor village at the time of Spanish contact.

The Calusa people of Florida were among the earliest people to have contact with Europeans with the 1513 landing of Spanish explorer and conquistador Juan Ponce de Leon. While initial encounters between whites and Native Americans tend to be initially friendly, this wasn’t one of those times since the Calusa knew about what went on in the Caribbean from native refugees and kept driving the Spanish out each time eventually resulting in de Leon’s death in 1521, which didn’t end their hostility to whites though which lasted for a couple more centuries. And it didn’t help they were being subjected to European diseases and slaving raids. Today the Calusa tribe has been considered extinct since the 18th century.

Finally, we come to the Southeastern Woodlands, a region situated from the Mississippi River to the East Coast and from the Ohio River to the Gulf Coast. In this region, contact with the Europeans began in the early 16th century with Juan Ponce de Leon landing in what is now Florida in his hopeless quest to seek the Fountain of Youth. He never found it but he ended up discovering a land that would become a haven for Cuban refugees, rich retirees, major theme parks, astronauts, and outright nutbags. But it’s said that news of Columbus’s 1492 arrival and the effects of such event on the offshore native people such as massive death, mistreatment, and enslavement before Ponce de Leon’s arrival. At any rate, by 1519, these Indian Floridians knew enough to fear the non-native intruders. Yet despite efforts to protect themselves, many of these Indians suffered violence and death from non-native depredation and disease. As European presence became more regular and permanent after the mid-to late 16th century, the Southeastern Woodlands Native Americans were drawn into increased trade with the Spanish and later the British and French who arrived in the 17th century. At the same time the Indians continued to die from disease and were increasingly forced to deal with problems like factionalism, fraud, land grabbing, and alcohol. Aspects of traditional culture like clan and political structure began to break down as overall conflict increased. Though there was a thriving regional deerskin trade by the mid-18th century, many Indians started raising cattle as the deer disappeared. Indians also participated in the regional slave trade where they were buyers, sellers, as well as victims (some even accepted African Americans into their ranks like the Seminoles). Yet, despite that the larger, so-called civilized tribes had adopted a very similar lifestyle to their non-native neighbors such as slave based agriculture, literacy, Anglo-style government and laws, and to some extent Christianity, native land loss accelerated to the point they were almost completely dispossessed in the late 1830s. This was the famous Trail of Tears in which tens of thousands of Southeastern Native Americans were evicted from their homelands and relocated to reservations in Oklahoma with significant numbers dying in transit or shortly after their arrival. Yet, there was a number of Seminole Indians who resisted removal by hiding out in the Everglades. Today most “southeast” Indians live in Oklahoma while traditional culture is preserved in varying ways and to different degrees.

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Like their Northeastern Woodlands counterparts, the Southeastern Woodlands was also dominated by the mound building cultures consisting of the Adena, the Hopewell, and the Mississippian. This is painting depicting a Mississippian mound village in Louisiana.

Location: East of the Mississippi and south of the Ohio that spans to Florida and the Gulf of Mexico.

First Peoples: First inhabited at around 11,000 years ago either by people from the north or west. But they were mostly hunter-gatherers who lived in family bands. Most groups adopted large scale agriculture by 900. Adena (800 B.C.E.-200) and Hopewell peoples (300 B.C.E.-700) resided in the area in permanent villages with mound burials, earthworks, copper ornaments, extensive agriculture, and stamped pottery. Most tribes at this time lived in matrilineal clans in opposing red and white divisions to counter centralized power. Tribes were often loose aggregations of these clans. And such membership often established one’s role or position in rituals and society. Mississippian societies were highly centralized and hierarchically ranked as well as led by powerful if not absolute chiefs. Members of elite classes received tribute in goods and services from common people. Their cities were palisaded urban centers with ceremonial centers and populations of up to tens of thousands of people. They also built large mounds up to 300 acres as well as had fields that were several square miles in area.

Environment: Often humid with river valleys, forests, mountains, grasslands, saltmarshes, lagoons, and swamps. High precipitation. Experiences hot summers and mild winters.

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Like their Northeastern Woodlands neighbors, most of the Southeastern Woodlands tribes practiced some form of agriculture. While corn was the main crop, they also grew squash, beans, pumpkins, sunflowers, fruit, potatoes, and tomatoes.

Subsistence: Primarily hunter, gatherer, fisher, as well as agricultural subsistence. Grew corn, beans, squash, potatoes, sunflowers, yams, tomatoes, fruit, and pumpkins. Gathered nuts, acorns, persimmons, wild rice, fruit, and mushrooms. Hunted deer, raccoons, opossums, beaver, eagles, otters, squirrels, rabbits, turkeys, bear, buffalo, elk, and wild hogs. Also fished.

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The standard Southeastern Indian dwelling was the wattle and daub house. It consisted of pole frames covered with branches and vines and plastered by a layer of clay. Kind of looks like something you’d see from the Smurfs.

Housing: This region had several different types of homes depending on location, tribe, and availability of natural resources. The classic dwelling was made from pole frames covered with branches and vines as well as plastered by a layer of clay. This is known as a wattle and daub house. Summer houses were usually rectangular with gabled, thatched roofs like the chickee. Circular winter “town” houses could be plastered inside and out with animal skins, bamboo, bark, woven mats, and palm leaves may also be used in outer construction. Some of these homes could even have two stories. There were even house like storage structures in addition to these homes. Large towns would have huge town houses with up to several hundred seats used for conducting rituals or business. Sweat houses were also common. Then you have the Caddo people who lived in the “beehive” thatched grass houses.

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Due to humid weather during the warmer months, Southeastern Woodlands Native Americans usually didn’t wear months. Both sexes also had a lot of body paint and tattoos.

Clothing: Most wore very little in the warmer months. Clothing was mainly made from tanned deerskin though inner bark was used to make hairnets and some textiles. Bear and buffalo robes were worn in the winter as well as ornate feather mantles or cloaks. Men wore breechcloths, shirts, leggings, shawls, or cloaks. Women usually wore short skirts, as well as tunics or mantles. Moccasins were mainly worn for travel. Ornamentation was made from shells, copper, pearls, and beads. Tattooing was widespread and body paint was used for special occasions. A lot of male warriors shaved their heads.

Transportation: Had bark and wooden canoes, preferably made from cypress. Though pine, poplar, and other wood canoes also existed.

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Southeastern Woodland warfare often took a great deal of ritual preparation and during such conflicts, warriors would often leave distinguishing signs to show who committed the violent deeds. Scalping was considered high war honors. Most war were usually over clan revenge.

Society: Primarily sedentary and semi-nomadic, though nomadic at the coast. Estimated to have as many as 150,000 people before European contact. Had vast trading networks, though most exchanges took place along kin networks and related families. Villages and towns were often at river valleys whenever possible which can consist of a social and ceremonial center as well as houses strung out for miles. Many tribes had some degree of social stratification and chiefs married women from allied and subject tribes to strengthen ties. Clan vengeance was a primary motivation for war. But warfare often took a great deal of ritual preparation and warriors often left a distinguishing sign to show who committed the violent deeds. Prisoners were usually tortured and sold into slavery. Scalping was common and constituted war honors. War chiefs often led war parties. Later societies could consist of large confederacies.

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Southeastern Woodland Indians were well known to practice exogamous marriage and matrilineal descent. Incest taboos were strictly enforced while inter-clan marriage was banned.

Family Structure: Practiced exogamous marriage and matrilineal descent. Observed strict incest taboos as well as marriage within a clan. Yet, polygamy was practiced among chiefs and wealthier men who could afford it. Men hunted, fished, fought, built houses, and sometimes farmed while women tended to housework, reared children, cooked, and made clothes.

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From 1817-1842, the Florida Seminoles and their escaped slave allies put up a major resistance against the US Army which led the US to acquire Florida and Andrew Jackson serve as its first governor for a time. However, no Seminole resistance was better known than that of Osceola’s in the 1830s who led devastating guerrilla tactics against US troops even when vastly outnumbered before his 1837 capture and death. A few hundred Seminoles managed to stay hiding in the Everglades where their descendants reside to this day.

Practices: Wood carving, animism, shamanism, pottery, basketry, Green Corn festival, moundbuilding, Southern Ceremonial Complex, tobacco, music, dance, gambling, stickball, chunkey, metalwork, weaving, lacrosse, controlled burning, pictographs, and beadwork.

Tools and Weapons: Bows and arrows, spears, axes, adzes, clubs, fish hooks and line, nets, blow guns and darts, rope, spear throwers, grinding stones, stone pestles, flint hoes, and weirs.

Notable Tribes: Cherokee, Natchez, Choctaw, Caddo, Biloxi, Creek, Apalachee, Arawak, Seminole, Atakapa, Bayougoula, Chacato, Calusa, Chickasaw, Croatan, Timucua, Coharie, Mayaca, Mobila, Mocoso, Yazoo, Uzita, Waccamaw, Mayami, Mikasuki, Sewee, Sissipaw, Tequesta, Santee, Roanoke, Pacara, Pensacola, Quinipissa, Tocobaga, Yamassee, Winyaw, Jaega, Koasati, Machapunga, Mataumbe, Eno, Chisca, Chowanoc, Cusabo, Chitimacha, Cape Fear, Chakchiuma, Catawba, Calusa, Ais, Powhatan, Quapaw, Tonkawa, Karankawa, Cofitachiqui, Mosopelea, and Avoyel.

The Indigenous Peoples of North America: Part 9 – The Northeastern Woodlands

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The Iroquois League was an association of 5 (later 6) linguistically related Northeast Woodland tribes consisting of the Mohawk, Oneida, Onondaga, Cayuga, Seneca, and Tuscarora peoples. Established between the 12th and 15th centuries, the League ruled on disputes and displace their raiding tradition except when it came to their rivals. Their political cohesion made the Iroquois one of the strongest forces in 17th and 18th century northeastern North America. Played both the French and British in the fur trade as well as sided with the latter during the French and Indian War. Was severely weakened after the American Revolution.

While the Great Plains tribes are the Native Americans you tend to see in western movies, the Northeastern Woodlands tribes are the ones you see in anything relating to early American history, particularly when it applies to Jamestown, Massachusetts Pilgrims, or the French and Indian War. Stretching from southeast Canada and east of the Mississippi River to the East coast and extending south to the Ohio River, these tribes were among the first Native Americans to have contact with Europeans than anyone else which were the Vikings who visited coastal areas from Newfoundland all the way to Cape Cod. However, they didn’t stay long and left little permanent influence. Yet, English and French settlers who arrived in the 1600s introduced these Indians to the beaver fur trade and infectious European diseases (sometimes via smallpox blankets). Sure relations were friendly at first, but they quickly deteriorated in some areas such as in 17th century Massachusetts Bay where they went from the first Thanksgiving to all out King Philip’s War in only a few decades. Yet, initial rounds of European diseases resulted in some tribes losing as much as 95% of their population alone in the early 17th century even before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth (Squanto’s village being one of them). Growing European fur demand led to the New World becoming a center of colonial competitiveness between Britain and France which would eventually culminate into the French and Indian War. Intrusion and eventual domination of the fur trade led to systemic breakdown among these tribes including decline in native arts and material culture, relocation to trading centers even by risking famine, increased social stratification and personal ownership, alcoholism, STDs, increased inter-tribal warfare, increased pressure to convert to Christianity, and eventually Indian removal. By the mid-19th century, many Indian groups in this region had simply disappeared and most of those remaining had been militarily defeated and largely resettled on reservations, some of which were far from home like Oklahoma. On the other hand, there are more Indians in this region today than many people realize. Although they’re mostly acculturated many proudly maintain an Indian identity while Native Americans in both the US and Canada continue struggling for recognition, land, economic development, and sovereignty.

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At its peak in the 13th century, the Mississippian city of Cahokia is estimated to have a population of 40,000 which wouldn’t be surpassed by any US city until the late 18th century. This city was said to have covered 6 square miles and included about 120 human mounds in a variety of shapes, sizes, and functions. But it would soon be abandoned by 1300 and little is known about those who lived there. Today the Cahokia Mounds is considered the largest and most complex archaeological site north of the great Pre-Columbian cities of Mexico.

Location: East of the Mississippi River spanning from south central Canada to the East Coast and Ohio River as well as encompassing the Great Lakes.

First Peoples: Region has been inhabited for at least 12,000 years with the first residents said to come from the Southwest. However, while the archaic period began in 6000 B.C.E., most cultures didn’t become fully established until 3,000 years later due to a dramatically changing environment. The Adena culture from 800 B.C.E. to 200 flourished around Kentucky and Ohio who were known as the agricultural and pottery producing Mound Builders (since they either cremated or buried their dead in mounds). They also used copper tools and red ochre in burial customs. Then there’s the northern Hopewell culture of the Great Lakes from 300 B.C.E. to 700 who also built mounds through their dead as well as performed other complex funerary rituals. Also had stamped pottery, metal work, weaving, large population centers, and vast trade networks. Alongside them is the Mississippian from 700-1500 which was characterized by intensive agriculture, fine pottery, distinctive art themes, stockaded villages, and flat-topped pyramid mounds. Sites from the Mississippian culture include Cahokia near St. Louis whose influence extended as far north as Wisconsin as well as Fort Ancient and Monongahela Woodland in the Ohio Valley. It’s speculative whether the tribes in the Ohio and Illinois Valleys as well as the Great Lakes are descended by their prehistoric counterparts who were gone by the mid-17th century due to warfare and fast-moving epidemics. It was later said to be repopulated by historic tribes from other locations.

Environment: Has many variations in climate, landscape, and natural resources. Much of it thick deciduous and conifer forest, mountains, and wetlands with an abundance in rivers, lakes, and ocean. Flat forests and prairies predominate in the far western areas. Experiences cold winter with deep snows and is often hot and humid in the summer. High precipitation all year round.

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Northeastern Woodlands Native Americans greatly relied on agriculture, growing crops consisting of corn, beans, squash, sunflowers, and wild rice. Out of all of these, corn was their most important food above all.

Subsistence: Primarily hunter, gatherer, and fishing subsistence, agriculture, and everything in between. Crops were corn, beans, pumpkins, wild rice, sunflowers, and squash. Hunted deer, raccoon, fox, muskrat, rabbit, wolf, elk, turkey, turtles, bear, squirrel, beaver, moose, and caribou. Yet, they also hunted for whale and seals as well as fished. Gathered maple sap, honey, berries, roots, nuts, and fresh greens.

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The standard dwelling for the Iroquois was the longhouse which was made from bent saplings and covered with bark. Longhouses could be up to 20 feet wide and 200 feet long as well as divided into 6-8 two room sections, each housing a family and sharing a fire.

Housing: Algonquin peoples mostly built birch bark domed wigwams with woven mat covered walls and floors. Each usually housed one family. Summer wigwams usually tended to be smaller while structures like menstrual huts, sweat houses, and temporary brush shelters were also built. Iroquois usually built wooden longhouses that were 20 feet wide and up 200 feet long (though most were less than 100 feet) made of bark pieces over a sapling frame with vaulted roofs. These were divided into 6-8 two room sections, each housing one family and sharing a fire.

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Northeastern Native Americans tended to wear a lot of jewelry and body paint, especially the men. In fact, while most Native American men wore their hair long, Northeastern Woodlands men tended to wear mohawks with feathers in them.

Clothing: People in the region mostly wore very little during the summer. Clothing was mostly made from deerskin and other animals. Often tanned. Generally consisted of breechcloths, skirts, leggings, and moccasins. Fur robes were worn in the winter. Women usually wore overdresses and tunics. Clothes were often decorated with softened and dyed porcupine quills and/or paint. Some groups even had fringed outfits. Adornments could consist of stone and shell jewelry, tattoos, and body paint. Shaved heads and mohawks were common among some Algonquin tribes as well as feathers in hair.

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Northeastern Woodlands Native Americans often traveled on river by canoe often made from bark, animal hides, or wood. Canoe styles often depended on water conditions.

Transportation: Algonquins used swift and light birch bark canoes while the Iroquois used canoes made from elm. Small ones were used for rivers while larger ones that could fit up to 10 people were used for lakes. Most were framed with cedar and trimmed with maple. Bark was sewn on with spruce roots and caulked with pine pitch or spruce resin. Dugout canoes were used as well. Styles were also based on water conditions.

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Northeastern Woodlands was a place of violent and frequent tribal warfare that villages tended to have fortifications of dirt and fencing even before European contact (since it was a reason why the Iroquois League existed in the first place). Ritualized torture and cannibalism were both practiced.

Society: Primarily nomadic, sedentary, and everything in between. Pre-contact population density varied. But it’s possible that as many as 2 million might’ve resided there but this is a rough estimate. Increased social stratification existed but not to the extent than in the Pacific Northwest Coast or the Southeast (though they did practice slavery). Some tribes were even part of mass confederacies later on such as the Iroquois, the Powhatan, and the Illinois. Among the Iroquois, male chiefs were elected by clan leaders who were usually female. Village councils often acted in unanimity and some chiefs were stronger than others. Western tribes often had warrior organizations to perform policing activities and some women even held some formal political power such as in the Miami, Shawnee, and Potawatomi. Nevertheless, inter-tribal warfare was harsh and frequent resulting in villages being heavily fortified by fencing and reinforced with dirt. Iroquois even revered war. Ritualized torture was common among the Iroquois while cannibalism and human sacrifice existed as well. Though most captives were frequently adopted into the tribe making up for population losses. Trade was mostly localized.

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Since descent and inheritance was matrilineal, Iroquois women often owned most of the family property even after marriage and kept the children if they divorced. An Iroquois woman can initiate divorce by telling her husband to leave the dwelling with his stuff. Iroquois women were also clan leaders who chose chiefs as well. Also, during marriage, an Iroquois man resided with his wife’s family.

Family Structure: Matrilineal descent among the Iroquois while Algonquins could have either this or bilateral. Bilateral or patrilineal among those near the Great Lakes and Ohio River. Men hunted, fished, and fought, while women made pottery, made clothes, looked after children, farmed, gathered, and other housework. Iroquois women owned property that stayed within their possession even after marriage and kept the kids if they separated. Married couples often resided with the wife’s family. Some Algonquin chiefs, shamans, and other wealthy men were allowed to have more than one wife if they could afford it.

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Lacrosse perhaps originated in 1100 and was played as a ceremonial ritual by the Northeastern Woodlands Native Americans. Teams could consist between 100-1,000 men on a field that could span 1,600 feet to 1.9 miles long. Games were said to last from sunup to sundown 2-3 days straight or longer. Also, it was a rather violent bloodsport where players actually got severely injured or killed.

Practices: Animism, shamanism, dreamcatchers, peace pipes, wampum, storytelling, tobacco, war paint, pottery, basketry, beadwork, metalwork, masks, vision quests, Midewiwin, Green Corn festival, music, dance, feast of the dead, medicine dances, lacrosse, birch bark scrolls, and pictographs.

Tools and Weapons: Bows and arrows, harpoons, fish hooks and line, clubs, tomahawks, nets, hemp and basswood bags, wooden bowls and utensils, snowshoes, knives, hoes, rakes, grind sticks and stones, snares, and spears.

Notable Tribes: Iroquois, Algonquin, Mohawk, Huron, Objiwe, Abenaki, Beothuk, Miami, Massachusett, Menominee, Erie, Ho-Chunk, Patuxent, Mahican, Anishinaabeg, Monacan, Narragansett, Illinois, Mitchiganmea, Fox, Sauk, Kickapoo, Mingo, Delaware, Wampanoag, Susquehannock, Tauxenent, Tunxis, Quinnipac, Shawnee, Cayuga, Seneca, Tuscarora, Ottawa, Tutelo, Oneida, Powhatan, Podunk, Pequot, Mohegan, and Penobscot.