NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 29, 2017

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Now it’s on to college merchandise. You know the overpriced stuff colleges and the NCAA makes money on but the athletes don’t really get any royalties off of. Most of the time you will find college sports crap sold at campus stores. But if it’s Division I, then you’ll find plenty of local stores carrying college stuff at a cheaper price. And even then, it’ll carry the teams most popular in the area. For instance, the Wal Mart stores in my area usually sell Division I merchandise pertaining to Pitt, Penn State, and WVU since they’re nearby and the most popular. Most of the NCAA sports crap you might see usually consists of apparel with the school’s logo on it along with a few other things. But most of the time, colleges will sell their fan anything that will give them money, no matter how ridiculous. And as I can testify, there is not shortage of collegiate sports craziness in merchandise. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of weird college merch from the NCAA.

Be a Fightin’ Irish on the grill with this Notre Dame burger flipper.

That way, you can demonstrate your grilling skills against Touchdown Jesus. Then again, you might get a better flipper at a lower price.

2. A Notre Dame drag along cooler always keeps food and drinks fresh.

Comes with pockets and a zipper. Great for storing cans at a tailgate party. Could probably buy a cheaper plain version at Wal Mart.

3. This Penn State crock pot is great for tailgating fare.

After all, you need something to keep the chili warm in Happy Valley. Though a plain one works better at a lower price.

4. For a more rustic setting, may I suggest this Notre Dame basket cooler?

Man, seems like they have all kinds of cooler types out there. Can’t really understand this one.

5. Enjoy your ride to the stadium in this Mizzou Tiger car.

That might be school property and thus not for sale. Still, since it’s helmet shape, I’ll put it on the post.

6. For long travels, hop along the Kentuck U Express.

Sure it’s not exactly merchandise. But it’s one of the last things you’d expect to see a Kentucky Wildcats logo on.

7. Nothing makes your steak taste great like Penn State steak sauce.

Yes, it exists. I know it’s ridiculous. But I’m sure it’s the only steak sauce you can use at State College.

8. At Columbus, Ohio State high heeled shoes are the latest craze

Though you’d more likely want to wear sneakers at the stadium. Just because you’ll do a lot of walking.

9. Carry your drinks to the game with this Penn State bottle tote.

Has room for 6. Though you can also carry them in a cooler which would be even better.

10. Stun the stadium with these University of Kentucky jeweled flip flops.

I don’t see the point of these. They seem more appropriate for summer, which isn’t during football or basketball season.

11. No man cave is complete without a line of Pitt lamps.

Or woman cave, not that we should judge. Comes in wood, brass, and metal.

12. Enjoy the big game with this WVU end table cooler.

Now you can put it on a stand and use it to get drinks while you watch the game. You can probably find one cheaper at Wal Mart without the logo.

13. Now you can serve drinks at your own Florida Gator bar.

Comes with an umbrella, cooler, and stools. Great for a tailgating beach party but not near actual gators.

14. Grace your holidays with this Michigan State Santa on Sousaphone.

And I see there’s an elf inside the Sousaphone. Of course, in marching band, he’ll have to find some way to get around the presents.

15. If you want to know the time, humidity and temperature, perhaps this clock from Penn State can show you.

Yes, it’s a rather sophisticated clock. But you can probably get it cheaper if you remove the Nittany Lion logo.

16. Support your Hawkeyes with an Iowa dog sweater.

Because this isn’t about keeping your dog warm. It’s about you projecting your tastes to your dog.

17. Keep warm at Happy Valley with this Nittany Lion hat.

That looks terrifying and more or less resembles a bear. But it’s said to be rather fuzzy.

18. You can’t have a tailgate party without some Penn State salsa.

Penn State salsa? Seriously? What’s with using college logos for foot? Because that’s utterly ridiculous.

19. Every Penn State fan must have this commemorative desk statue of Joe Paterno.

On second thought, chances are he knew at least something about what Jerry Sandusky was doing. So maybe you might want to reconsider.

20. Enjoy hours of fun with some Notre Dame foosball.

Like anyone needs a foosball table anyway. Seriously, you’re better off spending your money on something else.

21. Raise a glass to your college team with your Penn State wine glass.

Even has indictors to gauge your mood by how much you drink. Beware if it’s almost full.

22. This Notre Dame holder will keep your pool sticks in check.

I’m sure a regular one would be cheaper. Besides, seems more suited for a bar.

23. The birds will be mighty fine with this Ohio State birdhouse.

Though the birds won’t find any buckeye nuts here. Just seed.

24. Your little one would love to curl up with this light up Oregon Duck.

Yes, I’m sure it makes a cuddly plushie which lights the room with stars and the logo. But the Oregon Ducks still have a mascot that resembles Donald Duck from Disney.

25. Keep warm during the winter with a pair of Nittany Lion mittens.

Okay, those look kind of creepy. Seriously, Penn State, how about gloves that just have the logo. I think everyone would be fine with that.

26. Kick back and relax in the great outdoors in this LSU bench.

It’s in purple and yellow for the Tigers. And it’ll certainly grab attention from onlookers.

27. A fairy princess should always have her WVU wand and crown.

Guess the NCAA will do anything to appeal to young girls. Though given that WVU is home to the Mountaineers, denim dress seems more appropriate.

28. Penn State cuff links make any suit look flashy.

Though they might seem unprofessional at a business meeting. So perhaps they’d be better as a collector’s item.

29. You can always be comfortable at the office in an LSU swivel chair.

Kind of loud colors for office furniture. Maybe better suited for a home office.

30. This Pitt pet bed is the ultimate den for your 4-legged friend on March Madness.

Though Pitt men’s basketball hasn’t been doing too well lately. Though that’s a nice replica of the Petersen your dog will ultimately destroy.

31. Always decorate for the occasion with some WVU holiday flags.

Got two for Christmas and one for Halloween and the 4th of July. Strange one of them doesn’t depict a burning couch.

32. Spend evenings lounging around this Ohio State campfire pit.

Great for the well made patio. Has a big “O” in the middle to indicate where to light the fire.

33. A wheeled cooler is perfect for cooling drinks for Florida State fans.

This one looks like it was made. But make sure to put ice in there first.

34. For Christmas, you can’t do without a set of Arizona Wildcats Nutcrackers.

Since when do they have nutcrackers for college teams? This is crazy. At least a Ohio State one would make more sense.

35. Be the hit on campus in this Ohio State car.

Resembles a car from Hot Wheels. But looks pretty real. Not sure why anyone would buy it.

36. Enhance your living room with this Mizzou Tiffany lamp.

Sure itm ight seem a bit old fashioned. But if you like your Tigers enough, you’ll probably want it.

37. Spice up your food with some Penn State hot sauce.

Since there’s nothing spicier than watching your Nittany Lions. And anything you put your hot sauce on.

38. Dress your little leprechaun in these Fightin’ Irish bootie socks.

Yes, show your baby your love for the Irish and harmful Irish stereotypes at the same time. Yeah, Notre Dame needs to sort out its priorities.

39. Raise a toast to the Vols with this Tennessee chalice.

Okay, it’s more of a decorative item than an actual cup. And it stands on wood. Still, I find it rather tacky.

40. Tee up on the links with your Nittany Lion golf clubs.

That being said, golf is lame sport for rich people. Even if in the Nittany Lion guise. And I think this set costs an arm and a leg.

41. This Cinci Bearcat theater seat brings great comfort in your home.

Though it’s not as great as watching it on a recliner. Also, probably costs more than a La-Z-Boy.

42. Nothing makes stuffed pretzels irresistible like Penn State dipping mustard.

Dipping mustard? From a jar? Why can’t you just squeeze the mustard from the bottle and put it on your plate? That’s what most people do.

43. Take a cue at this Ohio State pool table.

Pool tables are already expensive and hard to move. I suppose this one would cost an arm and a leg.

44. Your living room is never complete without an Iowa Hawkeyes glass table.

It has a glass top and a shelf that resembles a football field. Very breakable and very expensive. Don’t recommend it for families with young children.

45. Kick back on the porch in your very own Ohio State swing.

Even contains cup holders so you can enjoy a drink or two. Though it’s not like the swing in my backyard at all.

46. Fire it up with your very own University of Kentucky grill.

After all, what’s a game without anything barbequed? Of course, a non-Kentucky grill would be cheaper.

47. Boise State Wing Dip is perfect for any Bronco wings.

Yes, Boise State’s team is the Broncos. I know it’s confusing since they share the same colors as Denver. But there you are.

48. Go to the game in style at Baton Rouge in an LSU Tiger bus.

Okay, it’s more of a trailer or RV. But it’s in purple and yellow stripes. Yikes!

49. Spend hours of fun with these Oregon video game controllers.

Both are green with the Oregon logo. You could probably get regular video game controls for less money though.

50. A WVU glass set goes great in your china closet.

Yes, the glass is pretty. But c’mon, most of you would rather have your bottles with flowers than a WVU logo. Yet, I could be wrong.

51. Keep your grill safe from the elements with this Notre Dame cover.

Then again, you can get a grill cover at Lowe’s or Home Depot for cheap. Doesn’t have to have the Notre Dame logo on it.

52. Got loose change? How about an Ohio State piggy bank.

Has a buckeye nut necklace and is decked with leaves. Got to like the red snout and ears.

53. Have hours of fun with some Notre Dame Yahtzee.

Has the Fightin’ Irish logo on the box. So you can roll the dice in the cup as long as you’d like.

54. Keep your golf clubs safe with these Ohio State covers.

Yes, I know I put the Penn State golf set before. But this one just shows the covers with the Ohio State logo.

55. Serve some drinks for guests with this University of Kentucky dispenser.

It’s a small ceramic striped container with stripes and a spotted lid. Not sure if it holds much of anything.

56. Watch the game together in these Penn State couples’ chairs.

Because the couple who watches games together stays together. Also, “Ms.” would’ve been more appropriate than “Mrs.”

57. Entice your guests at the big game with this Ohio State casserole dish.

Or “Game Day Kickasserole” which is better than casserole to some people. But please, a plain one would be cheaper.

58. An LSU baby should sleep in a crib like this.

This one has stadium padding. Think this is kind of pushing it. But I’m sure some fans would want to put their baby in this.

59. No Louisiana garden should be without a LSU bird bath.

It’s just a dish with a stand. Sure it looks pretty. But wait until the birds start shitting on it.

60. Eat your snacks while you watch the Mountaineers with this WVU chair tray.

Kind of wish I had one myself. Though I wouldn’t watch sports games using it. And it wouldn’t have a sports logo on it.

61. Keep your drinks cold with your very own Penn State mini fridge.

There are a few of these in different styles. But this one has the name on the side.

62. Ring in the holiday spirit with an LSU Santa hat.

It’s purple with the LSU letters and tiger logo along with holly. Great for any fan of LSU for the holidays.

63. Drape your big screen in your patio room with a Florida Gators cover.

Has an elastic band you can put in the back. Though why one would want a TV set near their patio is beyond me.

64. You can play all you want with this WVU toy train engine.

Though I’d suggest you go with Thomas the Tank Engine instead. Since your kids would prefer the trains from that franchise. This seems more what the parents would want.

65. Enjoy a time outside with this Florida State Seminoles picnic basket cooler.

It’s a combination between a cooler and a picnic basket. So you can have the best of both worlds, I guess.

66. Welcome the holidays with a UCLA stocking.

Try hanging that on your fireplace. Sure it’s not exactly what some expect. But I’m sure UCLA fans would want it.

67. Brand your steak with a Nittany Lion touch.

Yes, now you can brand your steak with Penn State. Like it’s really necessary. Not.

68. Proudly show off your school pride with a Baylor onesie.

Guy seems to be so proud of himself. Though I have no idea what to think of a garment I think is more appropriate on babies.

69. Enjoy hours of fun with this Alabama dart board.

Oh, it’s a dart board. Thought it was a pair of cabinet doors when I used one for my NFL merchandise post. That’s certainly makes me feel dumb now.

70. Carry your things to the game in this Michigan adventure wagon.

Okay, it’s not suited for a stadium. But you can fold it up and take it with you.

71. Carry your things from the store in this Michigan shopping bag.

Bet it comes with insulation to keep your food cool until you put it in the fridge. Great to take with you to Aldi.

72. Can’t make a fine steak without this Penn State rub.

Yes, they have Penn State steak rub. However, you can basically make your own since most recipes include a rub of some kind.

73. Keep your room lit with this University of Kentucky lava lamp.

Since when do lava lamps have to do with sports? Those two don’t seem to go together for some reason.

74. Kick back on your very own big blue Kentucky couch.

It’s a suede couch with the UK logo. But even though you might want a couch like this, it’s unlikely you’d buy one.

75. Enjoy your snacks in your very own University of Illinois snack dispenser.

And it’s shaped like a football helmet just in time for the season. Chips on top. Everything else is on the face mask.

76. Have your little one take their first steps in these Tar Heel booties.

Yes, these are cute. But regular booties are just as adorable. And cheaper.

77. For your pool party, you can’t go without a University of Illinois cooler floatie.

It’s even inflatable with cup holders. Still, why would you want to use drinks in the pool? That’s just nothing short of unthinkable to me.

78. Put your tailgating fare on this Penn State table.

It’s an interesting shape with the logo. Not sure if I’d want it in my home though. Since it’s not really my taste.

79. Store your candy in these Penn State Pez dispensers.

Each one has a topper of a football with a Penn State logo. Yet, the candy is inedible.

80. If you want a basket and a cooler, this piece from Notre Dame is for you.

Yes, it has the Notre Dame logo with a basket weave. Great for picnics and tailgating.

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 26, 2017

Here am I in my March of the Bearcats polo and Saint Vincent College basketball T-shirt.

As the school year begins so does the season of college sports. In particularly football. Though you’re bound to find plenty of students and alumni cheering in the stands on game day, many of these schools have fans far beyond that, especially if it’s a Division I university that makes loads of money from exploiting their student athletes. But now’s not the season to talk about that since it’s more suited for a March Madness conversation. Anyway, when it comes to posts to college and NFL, I kind of prefer doing the college ones. Mostly because you have way more than 32 Division I colleges across the country, many with a lot more interesting team names. Not to mention, a lot of the Division I college teams tend to be in uncharted territory for me. Yet, it’s not unusual for Americans to prefer their college teams over their pro teams. Mostly because the college teams are much closer to where they live, particularly in the South and in the heartland. And yes, many of the fans can be quite crazy, which is where I come in. Thus, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of college sports fans. Most of them are from Division I, by the way.

Apparently, the University of North Carolina is the No. 1 college for smurfs.

One of them even has blue hair. And both have a footprint on their shirts.

2. Seems like Boston College has a party school reputation.

What the hell are drunk Bert and Ernie doing here? Seriously, that doesn’t set a very good example to young children.

3. Seems like we have a colorful show of characters at Texas Tech.

One of them has a Minecraft head. One is all checks. While the others, let’s not get into that.

4. Speaking of Boise State, how about checking out these guys in their striped overalls?

And yes, they’re all in blue and orange from their hair to their toes. A couple even have fros.

5. Auburn is the place you can really be a Tiger.

Okay, it’s mostly face paint. But you get the idea. And yes, the fangs are fake.

6. At Ohio State, someone must be bucco for the Buckeyes.

Yet, the Buckeye guy on his head is a bit of the top. Also, what’s with the rose necklace. Oh, I get it.

7. For the Florida State Seminoles, you got two superheroes and a line of country western chorus girls.

You might remember the superheroes from last year. But the women with Seminole tops are a different story.

8. At Oklahoma State, this Viking’s helmet has its horns upside down.

That’s not to say he kind of resembles an Oompah Loompah. Also, note his friend with the spiky orange hair.

9. Apparently, the red men go for the Utes.

Okay, that’s a very racist depiction of Native Americans. And you want to know why they don’t like when colleges appropriate their culture into their athletics programs.

10. At North Carolina, basketball season is a time for blue hair.

Though their wigs are more or less made from Easter grass. Also, the basketball hats are hilarious.

11. There’s no bull about these cows from the University of Maryland.

Okay, they’re not technically cows since they certainly have no udders. Though you might want to steer clear of them for now.

12. Behold, the golden boy from USC.

Interesting he’s wearing a shiny gold speedo. Yet, to be fair, he doesn’t look quite bad. Yet, don’t tell that to the woman next to him.

13. You’d almost call this guy all pinned up for West Virginia University.

Note that he’s wearing coveralls over his jersey. Is supposed to be dressed as a mountaineer, miner, or what?

14. At the University of South Carolina, you’ll find a line of guys saluting their gamecocks.

Okay, it’s mostly body paint. But at least these guys didn’t paint their faces because that would be bad.

15. Even Santa is a huge fan of Ohio State.

However, he’s also with bald guy with a painted face and a guy with a nut necklace and weird hair. And yes, even Santa has some nuts on him.

16. With their hats, these Oregon Ducks fans are totally pumped.

One of them even has drinks on his hat and Hulk hands. And their school has a mascot resembling Donald Duck.

17. This guy really wants his Florida Gators to crush the Crimson Tide.

It’s on his hat by the way. Yes, I know it’s kind of crazy. But at least it’s creative.

18. At LSU, this man’s loyalty to his Tigers is never in question.

His way of supporting his Tigers is another story. Seriously, what’s with the body paint question mark?

19. As far as face paint is concerned, these faces have some very interesting patterns.

Indeed, these are Oregon Ducks fans. But one has a zigzag face. The other’s got checkers.

20. You might find this banana appealing if you come from Arizona State.

Yes, I know he looks pretty weird, especially with the sunglasses and banana costume. But he sure knows how to get attention.

21. You may think clowns and Stormtroopers would be at odds unless it’s the Arizona Wildcats.

One guy’s wearing a clown wig and suit. The other is a an Imperial Stormtrooper who probably won’t hit anything.

22. Speaking of the University of Arizona, seems like they might be on the Dark Side of the Force.

And the Dark Lord of the Sith has decided to go casual. Not to mention, paint his helmet red and blue.

23. Apparently, someone’s into Pirates of the Caribbean at Arizona State.

Wonder if he feels cool in his Jack Sparrow hat and wig. However, I don’t think it’s helping.

24. I believe we have a couple of tiger sharks at Auburn.

It’s a takeoff from Katie Perry’s Super Bowl performance. But these have stripes for the Auburn Tigers. Kind of ridiculous but fun.

25. This Baylor fan wanted his beard to match his outfit.

The beard is made from yarn to disguise his discontent for how his team’s doing. And to match his outfit.

26. You’d be scared out of your mind to find these guys at Boise State.

Think of their costumes as a mix between the Chippendales and Saw. Not sure what the two have to do with each other.

27. You’d almost think this Arizona Wildcat fan’s head is bursting with fireworks.

Though it’s mostly a foam mohawk with red, white, and blue stuff coming out of it. But yes, it’s utterly ridiculous.

28. This guy’s all red for his Crimson Tide.

You’d think he spent too much time in the hot sun. But it’s just body paint.

29. As skeletons, these Georgia Tech women are here to frighten you.

I hope these women are Mexicans. Because that’s in the style for the Day of the Dead. And Mexicans don’t like seeing that part of their culture appropriated, especially on Halloween.

30. At Brigham Young, the Hulk shows his support.

Or is it the Abominable Snowman? Such costume in blue gets me so mixed up.

31. At the University of Georgia body painting and clown wigs go hand in hand.

Well, they have red paint to spell out Georgia. But the clown wigs are mystery to me.

32. Apparently, you’ll find a blue Guy Fieri at Boise State.

And he’s holding up a hammer with flaming red hair. Not sure why.

33. At Oklahoma State, this cowboy supports his team in the most country way.

Well, to be fair, cowboys did pass through Oklahoma. But not in body paint and a foam hat.

34. This woman will go all out for her Crimson Tide.

Apparently, body paint is said to protect you from indecent exposure. Yet, the elephant certainly fits.

35. You’d almost think these Florida State Seminole fans were made for each other.

They paint themselves in dark red and gold and don’t have much on. Seriously, the woman is in a bra and undies.

36. This Sun Devils fan has impressive hair from Arizona State.

Seems to have the Arizona Sun Devils logo right on his hair. Wonder how he gets through a doorway.

37. Apparently, these two guys are a bit sheepish on the chest.

Well, their mascot is a ram. Yet, painting a sheep on your chest, really?

38. Looks like Boba Fett is a Gators fan.

He even has a cape and shoulder pads on. Hope he doesn’t get sucked in by a sarlacc any time soon.

39. Apparently, you’ll find a spotted horse and two glitter guys at a Seminole game.

Now that’s bound to distract people. The horse is especially freaky. Not sure why anyone would want to paint their bodies for their sports team.

40. Speaking of Florida State, this super fan is super pumped.

Sure she may be dressed as a superhero. But today she’s cheering her heroes in the stands.

41. These University of Georgia fans are all spiked up.

Well, spikes on the shoulder pads. And all have makeup on their faces. One looks like Jigsaw.

42. At Oklahoma University it’s all in the hats.

Of course, this is where the wind blows sweeping on the plains. So they better hold on to their hats.

43. You may not want to be with this masked mob at Gonzaga.

They’re definitely there for March Madness since Gonzaga got pretty far in the NCAA tournament. One of these has horns.

44. No one’s a match for this Iowa Hawkeyes clown.

Let’s hope this scary clown induces nightmares for the other team. Though I’m sure anyone who looks won’t be able to sleep after the game.

45. You can never wear enough traffic cones to support the Kentucky Wildcats.

Didn’t know you could fit that many cones on shoulder pads. Also, doesn’t look too happy.

46. You don’t need to paint your body if you’re a fan of LSU.

Sometimes an electric or safety razor will do. Though I don’t recommend anyone try it. Seriously, just don’t.

47. This LSU Tiger is really into the game on the field.

Doesn’t hurt that he’s wearing a gold and purple robe. Sunglasses and helmet aren’t too bad either.

48. Take a look at that LSU cheerleader.

Yes, I know it’s a guy who doesn’t look great in a cheerleader outfit. But he looks pretty hilarious.

49. At Marshall, you’ll often find a bison headed man in the stands.

After all, they’re known for the Thundering Herd in West Virginia. That and the movie We Are Marshall.

50. At the University of Miami, this guy’s part of the West End Zone Crue.

After all, he’s doing it for his Hurricanes. You know wearing the outlandish glasses and bling.

51. For this Hurricanes fan, it’s always about time.

Here he has an orange hoplite helmet with a green plume. Also has spikes on his shoulder pads.

52. This Transformer always goes for the Miami Hurricanes.

And I see he has a green and orange helmet with white shoulder pads. And no, he doesn’t turn into a car.

53. Apparently, Miami and Florida State fans can exist side by side.

Doesn’t hurt that both of them are dressed like Super Mario Brothers. Yet, I guess their princess is in another castle.

54. This guy goes full bat mask for his Michigan Wolverines.

He even has Michigan glasses and a megaphone with bumper stickers. Guess anything for the team.

55. Seems like if you want to support Michigan State, you got to have green hair.

You’d also want pairs of Spartan glasses, too. Yeah, weird right?

56. Even Gumby is a fan of Michigan State.

And here he is with a couple of guys in green. Yeah, I can see where this is going.

57. This creepy clown wants you to support the Michigan Wolverines or else.

Another creepy clown under a ski mask. Guaranteed to haunt your dreams. Sleep tight, sweetie.

58. Missouri Tiger fans support breast cancer awareness.

They’re all in pink with tiger stripes. Though the women are wearing pink shirts for obvious reasons.

59. Seems like many of these Navy guys are real ship heads.

So they actually have these foam hats. Though I prefer the other hats.

60. I’m sure some guys will get a kick out of these LSU Tiger women.

I see they painted themselves like tigers with bras meant to blend in. They also have the tiger headbands with ears.

61. You might want to check with this mouse from Syracuse.

I know this mouse is from a cartoon, but I can’t recall it. Yet, I see sports fan dress up as this character on Pinterest.

62. She cheers for the Syracuse Orange even if she didn’t make the squad.

She has pom poms in her hair and hands. Seems like this was for March Madness.

63. Mario doesn’t seem to like how this Texas Christian game is going.

Too bad Mario doesn’t have access to mushrooms so he can get bigger and shoot fire balls. Maybe that would help TCU even though that would be cheating.

64. Didn’t know that the University of Tennessee has fans out of this world.

Sure it’s not a real spacesuit since those things are incredibly heavy. But he’s nevertheless here for the Volunteers.

65. These masked men come to see the game for Texas Tech.

One of them has a black Spider Man mask. But the other masks remind you of a horror movie villain.

66. This super squad of fans will not let the Tar Heels down.

One of them even has a Batman logo with UNC. A woman has a high hat. And they’ve all painted themselves blue.

67. Best to go all orange and stripes to support Auburn.

All he’s wearing on top are shoulder pads. Not sure if he’s comfortable.

68. Apparently, USC fans start out young.

Makes you wonder what these kids will be like when they’re older. But they’re kind of adorable with fake hair and body paint.

69. I bring you a real USC Trojan.

Well, he’s dressed like a hoplite from the Trojan War. Though it’s a bit over the top.

70. My, those must be large spikes.

Sure he’s going for the Utah Utes. But at least he’s not as bad with the cultural appropriation.

71. This man is all golden for his Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish.

Well, he’s certainly flashy with a bowtie and flower boa. Least he’s not dressed as a leprechaun.

72. One has to go orange for the Tennessee Volunteers.

Kind of resembles an Oompah Loompah here. But that’s the magic of body paint for you.

73. This Husky woman turns out sparking for Washington University.

Yes, she has to show up in sparkling pants and a husky hat. Yet, you should see the guy in a yellow coat and plaid pants.

74. This purple horse always cheers for his Washington Huskies.

I know he looks silly, especially with a purple horse’s head. Oh, how far fans go for their team.

75. These Mountaineer fans are going to rock n’ roll all night.

Of course, they had to paint their faces as members of KISS. But at least they didn’t don the wigs.

76. This fan from Miami has a bit of a skull face.

Not sure if it does the trick. But the hat and polo don’t do that look wonders.

77. No matter how you see it, her hands make a U.

For University of Miami of course. Her U things can also be used as oven mitts by the way.

78. At Stanford University, this Cardinal fan’s an evergreen supporter.

Not sure why the Stanford mascot is a tree. But this guy really has his school spirit in him.

79. At Clemson, these Tiger women have put on their stripes.

Unlike the LSU fans, they’re not covering their faces. But yes, this is ridiculous.

80. DCU women always go for Syracuse.

You see, Catwoman and Wonder Woman may not always get along. But they can still be friends.

81. If you’re for Purdue, you just have to wear the flashy robes.

Well, if you want to be seen, that seems to be the way to go. Though they’re rooting for their Boilermakers in strange attire.

82. At USC it helps to stand like a real Trojan.

Uh, this isn’t 300. Besides, Trojans didn’t fight in the buff either. It’s probably more appropriate for this guy to look like this when he’s wearing a Trojan on his sword. Though his abs aren’t all that bad.

83. Here we have a warrior at Oklahoma State showing love for his Pokes.

Yes, he’s in a toga and Roman helmet. I know it doesn’t make sense. And no, I don’t understand why he’s wearing gloves.

84. For some people, a Florida Gators game is a family tradition.

They’re wearing jerseys, spiked shoulder pads, and dyed hair. The dad has his colored blue.

85. For golden masked me, it’s always the University of Toledo Rockets.

Not familiar with that school. But you have to think these guys are nuts to wear masks and wigs like that.

86. There’s strong and then there’s Army strong. And then there’s these guys.

And these soldiers have their team spelled out in yellow body paint. Not sure if it’s got on their uniforms.

87. At LSU, she likes to get into the Tiger’s skin.

Well, at least she managed a photo op with the mascot. Though at least it’s better than body paint.

88. It’s very clear that the Founding Fathers are behind old Virginia Tech.

You’d think they’d be for the University of Virginia which Thomas Jefferson founded. Just saying.

89. Batgirl always goes for Boston College.

She even has a flag to show for it. Though the uniform does appear a bit 1960ish.

90. For these Cowboys, Mizzou Tigers are all the way.

And they’re shirtless, too. Still, not sure if Missouri had any cowboys. Doesn’t seem to make sense.

91. Best to wear the team you love on your back.

And it seems like this person has to do the Batman pose. Fair enough.

92. At Michigan State, the Spartan fans who go to games together, stay together.

And it seems they went with the striped overalls and the Spartan hats. Not sure if I like that.

93. You have to wonder if this Seminole fan is being serious.

After all, he’s dressed as the Joker. Even has his suit despite his goatee.

94. This group of Elvises salute Ole Miss.

After all, Elvis was from the great state of Mississippi. And one of them even dons Ole Miss colors.

95. At Oregon, everyone’s committed to diversity.

For they accept Mexicans and anyone with weird colored hair. As long as it’s green, yellow, or both.

96. Didn’t know you could find Vikings in Arizona.

Of course you can’t. But that doesn’t stop this guy from wearing a helmet with horns. Even if most Vikings didn’t.

97. It’s al zebra striped with this Washington Huskies fan.

And yes, he even has a wrestling belt and husky shirt on him. Yet, he’s clearly kind of flashy in purple.

98. It helps if you arrive in a cape at LSU.

I see his cape is made from duct tape. And that he has his chest painted.

99. All this Nebraska Husker wants to do is watch the game.

And yes, he has a corncob on his head and his face painted. Kind of creepy but he doesn’t bite.

100. My, this Oklahoma State Cowboys fan has a small hat and a large mustache.

Yes, his stache his so huge, you can’t even see his mouth. But how he keeps that hat on his head, I have no idea.

NCAA Championship Worthy College Sports Treats

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 28, 2016

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Now that the Christmas festivities are over, it’s now time for the Bowl season that takes place around New Years. Of course, almost every sport you can think of has a playoff. But NCAA Div. I college football does things a little differently. In fact, its playoff system only consist of 4 teams. How they’re selected I have no idea and I think it’s a very stupid system. Because the NCAA Div. I college system has it that a college football team can have an undefeated season but still not be championship eligible. Then there are the bowl games, many of which don’t really mean anything unless it pertains to the Rose Bowl or whatever other bowl game whether it be the Orange Bowl, Cotton Bowl, or the Sugar Bowl. It’s confusing. Anyway, if my dad had it his way, the Div. I college championship should consist of the top team of each conference in a playoff. And I have to agree on it. Because like the Electoral College, the BCS Bowl Series and Div. I college football championship system doesn’t make any damn sense. Whereas, March Madness certainly does. At any rate, since I did NFL food posts relating to the Super Bowl, so shall I do a treat post pertaining to college sports. But college football being what it is, I won’t limit myself to playoff teams. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of college sports treats. Most of these will be from Div. I naturally.

Any fan of Ohio State would want a cake with Brutus.

Of course, he’s not the most intimidating mascot. But I’m sure OSU fans would enjoy this nonetheless.

2. If you’re for the Nittany Lions, then check out this cake of Beaver Stadium.

And I see it’s full in Happy Valley. Good luck getting tickets to Penn State this football season.

3. A lifelong Mountaineer would always appreciate a cake from WVU.

Yes, a cake of the WVU logo itself. Great for any couch burning party.

4. These Arizona State Sun Devil cookies must be obviously tempting.

Not sure why they’re called the Sun Devils? Oh, wait, it’s devilishly hot in Arizona.

5. Support your Noles with this Florida State cake.

This is for a birthday. But the logo is a perfect picture. I’m sure whoever gets this cake will love it.

6. Fans of Indiana will delight with this cake.

For some reason, Indiana University’s logo resembles the top of a trident. And I know that’s not a school that’s near any coastline.

7. These Syracuse Orange cookies will put a smile on your face.

To those who can’t wrap their heads around why a school in upstate New York has an orange for its mascot: Don’t ask me. I know it’s stupid. But I wasn’t consulted.

8. Baylor fans will fall in love with these cookies.

Sure Baylor may be a school in Texas. But at least their bear mascot makes sense to some extent. Founded before Texas was a state.

9. With this cake, Longhorn fans can just hook’ em.

Yes, Texans sure love their college football. And a cake like that illustrating this is no exception.

10. This Boston College cake surely makes the eagle soar.

You might not know this but Boston College is a Jesuit university. Secretary of State John Kerry is among its alumni.

11. For Thanksgiving, you might want to help yourself to some Michigan pumpkin pie.

Michigan University, that is. Let’s just say I ran into Michigan Christmas decorations when I was looking for Wolverine Christmas stuff for a Marvel post.

12. If your heart beats for the Crimson Tide, this cake is for you.

I guess this is for a nursing student from Alabama University. Because the elephant has a nurse hat and the heart monitor on the tier.

13. On this cake, Gators always beat Seminoles.

I guess this cake is from Florida University. Poor Seminole warrior didn’t have the chance.

14. Since everything’s bigger in Texas, check out this pizza from Texas A&M.

And when they say everything’s bigger there, they weren’t kidding. I guess this serves a party of 800.

15. For Louisville, this cake is a cardinal delight.

Since Louisville is home to the cardinals, right? And this one looks pretty mean.

16. These Georgia cookies surely go to the dogs.

After all, their mascot’s a bulldog. Wonder what occasion these cookies are for.

17. Auburn Tiger fans would always go for a cake like this.

What’s with the toilet paper tree? Do their students do this when the other team loses? I don’t understand it.

18. This Alabama cake came specially wrapped.

I’m sure this is for a birthday. Sure I know I’m showing a lot of bakery treats on here. But you have to go with what you have in this case.

19. In Texas, this Baylor cake is covered in chocolaty goodness.

I’m sure this is for a wedding. Yet, at least the bride and groom are black bears which is more what you’ll see in Texas.

20. I’m sure any fan of Mississippi State will go for these cookies.

However, we should understand that most people in Mississippi are fans of Ole’ Miss. By the way, their team mascot is also a bulldog.

21. On your dessert platter, you can always roll tide with these sugar cookies.

Yes, they’d sure be perfect for anyone at Alabama. Even the shoes and elephants.

22. You can always wow the field with this Michigan cake.

This one has the football field on the sides. Say what you want, but this is a clever design.

23. These Notre Dame cupcakes will bring you luck of the Fightin’ Irish.

These have the Notre Dame logo and shamrocks. Great for football season and Saint Patrick’s Day.

24. For Aggie fans, this Texas A&M cake will leave you with a lasting impression.

I suppose the tiger tail symbolizes them crushing Auburn. Guess they’re in the same conference.

25. These Penn State cookies will bring music to one’s ears.

I guess this is for someone in the marching band. Because the designs suggest this.

26. If you’re a fan of the University of Minnesota, then you’ll adore this cake of Goldie the Gopher.

Yes, I know Minnesota’s mascot is kind of a joke. But c’mon, gophers are persistent pests that are hard to get rid of. So yo shouldn’t underestimate them.

27. These Michigan cupcakes surely have the wolverine spirit.

Yet, they always refer to their colors as maize and blue. As if maize is a fancy name for yellow. Yeah, I know it’s ridiculous.

28. These Clemson cookies are surely delectable.

These consist of the C, paw prints, and bones. Yes, I know their mascot’s a tiger but that’s beside the point. Since Pitt beat them this year.

29. Any Wolverine fan would adore a cake of Michigan’s stadium.

Well, fans of Michigan Wolverines that is. Fans of the X-Men Wolverine, not so much.

30. Since Duke is known for their basketball team, I thought this cake was appropriate.

Well, at least a basketball court just consists of a sheet and nothing more. No stands needed here.

31. You can always show your WVU pride on chocolate chips with M&Ms.

Helps if they’re blue and gold for Mountaineers. Still, at least this one is certainly DIY.

32. If you don’t like the Sun Devils, this Arizona State cake is just the ticket.

This one even has plastic desert decorations on it. Perfect for those desert Wildcat fans.

33. If you’re a fan of George Southern, this eagle cake will suit your fancy.

There are also cookies that match. But they’re surely sold separately.

34. As you can see, this Notre Dame cake represents its school pride.

Though I’m sure the Irish might take offense with the Fightin’ Irish mascot. Still, it fits.

35. This Louisiana State bucket cake comes filled with iced shrimp and other crawdads.

After all, though LSU’s mascot is a tiger, Louisiana has a unique tradition with seafood. And this cake reflects that.

36. Fans of Tennessee might want to go with a checkered T.

Well, Tennessee University, that is which is home to the Volunteers. Though I don’t think orange and white is a good color scheme.

37. This Mississippi State cake comes in a unique basket weave.

I’m talking about the design here. And I’m sure this is for a wedding as far as I’m concerned.

38. Grace your Aggie dessert platter with these Texas A&M sugar cookies.

And I see they have a lot of cowboy and ranch stuff. After all, they’re an agricultural school.

39. These Nitany Lion cookies get 2 paws up.

Well, these have the Penn State logo and a paw print. But say what you want about Penn State, but at least they go with an original big cat mascot like the Nittany Lion. Even if it is another euphemism for cougar.

40. Any fan of Oregon would want a cake that goes to the ducks.

By that, I mean Oregon University. Like how the Oregon logo has wings though.

41. This Notre Dame cake will always give you golden Irish pride like no other.

Guess this must be one of the campus towers. And I see the angry leprechaun behind it.

42. These roaring cupcakes are brought to you from Clemson.

Still, I’m not sure if purple and orange go together. But I know they don’t look great on a tiger.

43. These Arkansas Razorback cookies are surely razor sharp in taste.

Yes, I know razorbacks are pigs. But pigs can be very nasty creatures, especially wild hogs. So I don’t chide Arkansas for their mascot.

44. This Michigan cake stadium screams blue and yellow.

Yes, it’s another Michigan stadium cake. But this one is in a different style than the last.

45. For healthier options, this Ohio State watermelon will satisfy.

I’ve found it surprisingly difficult in finding healthier college treats. This is about the best I can do.

46. If you’re a Horned Frog, you surely can’t resist this cake from TCU.

This even comes with TCU cupcakes. Though their mascot really doesn’t look like this purple frog. More like a dinosaur.

47. If you’re a fan of Oklahoma University, you might take to these cookies sooner.

You may also have to deal with constant references to the musical Oklahoma. But at least these Sooner cookies look delightful.

48. I’m sure a Texas fan will love this pyre cake.

This one is topped with an outhouse which I think is hysterical. Though it’s also disturbing since Texas has experienced a lot of wildfires lately.

49. Wolverine fans may delight in this Michigan cake.

This one has the Michigan logo in brilliant navy blue. I’m sure Wolverine fans would go blue for this as per their motto.

50. Any fan of Marshall could always enjoy a cake of Marco the Buffalo.

Their team is known as the Thundering Herd by the way. And the school was named after a Chief Supreme Court Justice. But you would remember Marshall from that one movie.

51. Go blue at your dessert platter with this Michigan cake.

Though the words “Go Blue” are in yellow. Or should I say maize as far as the fans are concerned.

52. This Notre Dame cake just has a simple shamrock touch.

Well, this one has a shamrock and the Notre Dame logo. But I’m sure Fightin’ Irish fans will love it.

53. Salute the Vols with this Tennessee fruit pizza.

This one salutes the Vols in fruit. And it’s one of the reasons why I included it on this post.

54. Fans of Nebraska might want a stadium cake like this.

Well, Nebraska is home of the Huskers which is an odd name for a team. But not surprising for a state known for agriculture.

55. These shamrock Notre Dame cookies come Fightin’ Irish approved.

Given the shamrock shape, they’re also great for Saint Patrick’s Day. Hey, I’m just being honest here.

56. These cupcakes come Nittany Lion approved.

Well, these consist of cupcakes with the Penn State logo and white pawprints. I’m sure they’ll eat these up at Happy Valley.

57. Of course, an Ohio State cake can always do with a few nuts.

Since that’s what buckeyes are, nuts. But these are probably made from icing.

58. A cake shows how one can be quite cavalier with Virginia football.

Since the University of Virginia’s team is the Cavaliers. Though the college was founded by Thomas Jefferson.

59. This Purdue cake comes in with the Boilermaker Special.

The Boilermaker Special is a train engine. And a damn good looking one at that.

60. Make your Nittany Lion party wonderful with these Penn State cake pops.

These include the Penn State flag, a football, pawprints, and the Nittany Lion head. All in all, great for the Happy Valley.

61. So is this a pig roast for Arkansas?

Actually it’s a Razorback cake that salutes Arkansas. But it’s surrounded by strawberries.

62. These covered Oreos will delight any Michigan Wolverine fan.

Each of them has the Michigan logo and 2 types of icing. Still, they look so tasty.

63. This Ohio State watermelon is a fruity delight.

Guess this is a fruit platter centerpiece. But it’s a nice carving.

64. At Texas Tech, the burgers are always made specially.

The burgers always have to have 2 T’s it seems. Yet, writing in ketchup is probably harder than it looks.

65. Don’t expect this Baylor Bear cake to be warm and fuzzy.

But I have to admire the decorator for this. Still, the bear still looks quite intimidating.

66. A WVU dessert platter should always have cookies of the state.

Helps that WVU is a treasured team in most of the state. And that it has the WVU logo.

67. Guess it’s Mardi Gras at LSU.

Then again, looking at this cake, you’d thin it is. But for all I know, it could be used for a wedding.

68. Nothing can top a party at Kansas State like this Wildcat cake.

Well, at least during football season anyway. Since it contains football motifs and there’s a stadium behind it.

69. This LSU cake is perfect for any true Tigers fan.

Helps that it’s in a fleur de lis since Louisiana has a lot of French traditions. Not sure about the tiger eye though.

70. Nobody could ever believe this Florida Gator cake.

It’s the kind of cake that looks like it wants to eat you. That’s what I’m going by with the face.

Not Licensed By the NCAA College Athletic Craft Projects

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 26, 2016

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So I’m down with fan costumes and merchandise. Now it’s on to college sport craft projects. You might’ve noticed that unlike the NFL craft post, I didn’t include a picture of myself. Mostly because I don’t have any college sport craft projects so I decided to go with the college football fan map instead. I figured since college football season is soon to begin next week. And if I decide to go with a craft post during March Madness, I’ll use a basketball one. Anyway, you may not think that sports and crafts go together if you haven’t been on Pinterest or Etsy. Yet, even though more men like sports and women do crafts, understand that there are plenty of female sports fans out there as well a guys who do crafts. Then there are college athletes like famed Penn State football player Rosie Grier who later played for the LA Rams and took up needlepoint as a hobby. If you look on Pinterest, you’ll find a lot more sports team crafts on there than you can imagine. However, when it came to looking for craft projects in college sports, it’s a bit tricky. Along with the merchandise, I had to google names of several different colleges to find them. Because if you just type anything relating to college sports crafts, you’ll just end up finding stuff mostly from Alabama and LSU trust me. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of the unique craft projects of college sports. Most of the craft projects featured will be representative of Division I teams, naturally.

Any Iowa Hawkeye fan would love to drink from this painted wine glass.

Of course, these glasses are never for drinking. But I’m sure Iowa fans would want one anyway.

2. Tennessee Volunteer fans would definitely adore this football door hanging.

It’s in orange and white with polka dot lines. But it’s a rather charming football decoration.

3. With an old window frame and tiles, you’ll have this Alabama Crimson Tide board.

You can even use it to write things down like a shopping list or Alabama’s football record. This person uses chalk.

4. Any Mountaineers fan would surely envy anyone with this WVU quilt.

Sure it might not look like much. But it’s sure to keep warm during cold evening games in Morgantown.

5. Georgia Bulldog fans will definitely want a wreath like this for their front door.

Yes, it may seem quite fancy from what you’d expect from a college sports wreath. But fans are bound to love it.

6. This Iowa State wreath is all covered in ribbons.

Iowa State is the other Iowa university but the one you probably don’t hear about. Unless you live in Iowa. However, its fanbase is mostly concentrated around Ames.

7. At this house marks Mountaineer country.

Yes, this is a WVU ribbon wreath. But I think the arrow really makes it work here.

8. Anyone at Happy Valley will love these Penn State pillow cushions.

This is a fairly simple design with just “We Are Penn State.” But it’s effective.

9. This WVU wreath will make a welcome addition to almost any West Virginia door.

Yes, it’s another WVU wreath. But I really like this design and how the letter stand out that I had to put it in the post.

10. This UNC wreath is certainly a charm on any front door.

This one has white and silver berries as well as shiny ribbon. And the UNC letters are in a whimsical font.

11. Any fan of the Buckeyes will want this Ohio State pallet on their wall.

It depicts the Ohio State logo with the state of Ohio. What Ohio State fan wouldn’t want that?

12. University of Washington Huskies fans might like to have these blocks on their mantle.

Sure each may have a decoration. But “Huskies” is in purple in order to really stand out. Adorable.

13. Sometimes at Ohio State, it’s best to aim for simplicity.

This Ohio State ribbon wreath does exactly that. Just the logo and flowers. That’s it.

14. When it counts, best to have Auburn University in big bright letters.

Yes, it might require electricity and somewhere to be plugged in. But you have to admit, it’s a dazzling sight.

15. Kansas State Wildcat fans might go with a simpler approach to their front door.

This purple yarn wreath only has KSU, a white flower, and a white ribbon. But it looks charming just the same.

16. Even a Fightin’ Irish need some rest which this Notre Dame chair is well suited for.

This is a wooden chair painted with Notre Dame colors. And yes, the Fightin’ Leprechaun is in the seat.

17. Any Oregon Duck fan will want to hang this decomesh wreath on their door.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as a ribbon. Love the decorations on this.

This one has the Oregon University colors as well as two ribbons. Love the decorations on this.

18. Penn State will always remain with Nittany Lion fans forever.

Penn State fans seem to be that way for some reason, especially the alumni. Of course, my dad didn’t care for Joe Pa he was a major reason why PSU didn’t play Pitt for decades.

19. For Purdue Boilermaker fans, this bottle lamp will light up a room.

Purdue is in Indiana. They’re called the Boilermakers because of the railroad system. And their Boilermaker Special mascot is a nice, shiny train.

20. With old junk, you can make a charming Crimson Tide elephant.

This was made from old license plates and a shovel. I think it looks better than Alabama’s real mascot.

21. Longhorns fan should store their candy in this handy dispenser.

I’ve put a lot of these in various craft posts. But this seems to only require a flower pot and a fish bowl as far as I’m concerned.

22. Iowa Hawkeye fans will want to cuddle with this Iowa pillow.

It’s a pillow of the state of Iowa. And I guess the heart is where the University of Iowa is. Makes sense.

23. This Alabama Crimson Tide wreath is great to hang anywhere.

This uses yarn and houndsooth ribbon as well as an “A” and flowers. Any Tide fan would want to roll with it.

24. Tell your Texas team to “Hook Em’ Horns” with this wreath.

Yes, it’s a University of Texas decomesh wreath. No, I don’t like the colors. But at least a Longhorn fan might enjoy it.

25. A Michigan State Spartan fan must keep warm with a knitted hat like this.

It’s a knitted Spartan hat. May not protect you in battle against the Persians. But will keep you warm in Michigan weather.

26. Any Auburn Tiger fan should have a floral wreath at their door.

Well, this is lovely. Love the ribbon and blue flowers. Gives a nice homey feel.

27. For Gamecocks fans, this University of South Carolina wreath should suit your fancy.

If it wasn’t for the darker red and the logo, I would’ve thought it was a Crimson Tide wreath. And yes, their team is called the Gamecocks. I did not make that up.

28. No Nittany Lion fan could ever resist this PSU wine glass.

Sure it’s not as fancy as the Iowa wine glass. But it does have a certain charm to it. Like the ribbon.

29. Light up the room at night with this wooden WVU lantern.

It’s very simple but it’s well painted with blue and yellow. Perfect for any Mountaineer fan.

30. This yarn Michigan Wolverine wreath has an intricate floral design.

Guess it took a lot of time with the decorations. But it certainly looks lovely in front of the window.

31. There’s nothing more quaint than a yarn Baylor wreath.

This wreath may use a green and yellow diamond pattern. But it’s certainly a wonder to look at.

32. Blue ribbons and baubles go great with a yellow WVU window frame.

Love the decor on this. Great to hang on the wall. Who knew West Virginians could be so creative?

33. This Notre Dame wreath will make a rustic addition to any Fightin’ Irish home.

Sure it might not be as showy as some of the wreaths. But I like the wooden panel as well as the ribbons on here.

34. This simple frame will satisfy any Crimson Tide fan.

It just has a lovely bow and “Bama.” What more can a Tide fan want?

35. Auburn Tigers should carry their things in this bucket.

This is decorated in orange and navy blue polka dots. And it’s lined with a striped orange ribbon.

36. This Nebraska Husker wreath is made of rather fine feathers.

Well, fake feathers, anyway. But you have to love how the decorated N really stands out.

37. Don’t worry this, LSU Tiger crab won’t hurt you.

Yes, it’s a LSU crab and it’s painted as a tiger for decorative purposes. I know what you’re thinking but to me, it’s cool.

38. Make your Spartan pride soar with this Michigan State bottle lamp.

I know it has an “S” on it. But it’s representative of Michigan State. Don’t ask me how that works.

39. Let the light in with this Michigan State Spartan suncatcher.

Of course, it’s not really a craft project. But since some people do make their own suncatchers, I’ll allow it.

40. Georgia Southern Eagles fans should really enjoy a wreath like this.

I know the Georgia State Panthers isn't as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU's color scheme.

I know the Georgia Southern Eagles aren’t as popular as the Georgia Bulldogs. But I love GSU’s color scheme.

41. Any Hawkeye fan could ever dream of having this Iowa table.

I think this was more of pet project and is probably not for sale. But I can see why they’d take pride in producing it.

42. Any Wolverine fan would treasure this stained glass Michigan block.

This stained glass block is surely a gem. Like how the light shines through the blue and gold.

43. A UCLA Bruins fan should keep their head snug with this crocheted cap.

Bruins are bears, by the way. Just so you didn’t know that. Yet, the light blue and yellow go very well with the bear ears.

44. This striped LSU Tiger wreath certainly has character.

Yes, it may have a few flowers. But the real spirit in this wreath is in the purple and gold stripes.

45. If your baby needs to rest on the go, this Mizzou cover will do quite nicely.

Well, that looks quite cute. Like the stripes on it. Very creative.

46. For Clemson Tiger fans, there’s nothing to hate about this wreath.

I think this person used letter tiles for this. Gives the wreath its whimsical charm.

47. This Alabama Crimson Tide owl is certainly a hoot.

The owl is red with houndsooth wings. But fans will surely find it adorable.

48. This Notre Dame bauble wreath will surely make the game a festive occasion.

The baubles may be made from glass and metal. But it’s great for a Christmas decoration if the Fightin’ Irish make the BCS Bowl series.

49. Any FSU fan would envy anyone with a mosaic Seminole table.

Someone seems to have too much time on their hands to do this. But I do admire the craftsmanship.

50. Any Penn State football fan would adore these Nittany Lion nesting dolls.

Not sure who all these players are. But I do think these dolls are very well made. Lovely.

51. This LSU deco mesh wreath will make any game a party.

Sure it might not have any Mardi Gras beads. But it has tiger stripes on the letters so that’s something.

52. A true Ohio State fan would certainly hang this buckeye wreath on their front door.

This is decorated with buckeye nuts and moss. Very fitting with the Ohio State spirit and very creative.

53. State College birds will rejoice with this Penn State birdhouse.

This one has a license plate over it. Not sure if it enhances the appeal. But Nittany Lion fans will enjoy it.

54. This glass window is sure to make any Georgia Bulldogs fan rejoice.

Yes, it’s an old window that’s decorated with Georgia Bulldog stuff. A must for any diehard fan.

55. This little Ohio State lighthouse is sure to be a Buckeye delight.

This is a light that’s made from flower pots. Like the lamp on the top as well as the painting.

56. Nothing is more festive for a Notre Dame game than this Mardi Gras bead wreath.

An LSU one would’ve been more appropriate. But I really like this Notre Dame one for some reason. Perhaps blue and gold are a great combination.

57. This Iowa end table will go quite nicely at any Hawkeye home.

Has Iowa on all sides in wooden letters. And it’s certainly well painted. Someone must have too much time on their hands.

58. Nittany Lions fans are bound to fawn over this Penn State wreath.

It’s deco mesh with ribbons. But it also has a wooden Penn State panel in the center where it counts.

59. These crocheted Purdue booties would be great for any little Boilermaker.

They even have Purdue ribbons along with the gold and black. So cute.

60. No little Mountaineer could resist this plush WVU rabbit.

Hell, this rabbit is so adorable that even parents might want it. Anyone WVU fan would want to cuddle with it. So cute.

61. Kick back and relax in these Michigan State Spartan lawn chairs.

They even come in a set with a Spartan head rest. Great for outdoor home tailgate parties.

62. Light up your Mountaineer nights with this WVU bottle light.

Seems to glow brighter than a couch fire in Morgantown. Love the blue ribbon.

63. Any LSU Tiger fan could not resist these stained glass bottle lights.

Like how they have the purple paw prints with the LSU letters. Really brings out the light. Love these.

64. Red and black go quite well with this wreath from Texas Tech.

Texas Tech University may not have team as popular as the Longhorns. But you have to admit, the Red Raiders have a great color scheme that works.

65. This medal Auburn sign has the Tigers’ classic cry.

Not sure about the deal with “War Eagle!” is since their mascot is the Tiger. But I do love the ribbons and font on this.

66. Wildcat fans would surely love to have this Kentucky rag wreath on their door.

Haven’t had anything from the University of Kentucky on here yet. Still, this one has stripes as well as whimsical font to go with it.

67. This fleur de lis door hanging will go well at any LSU Tiger house in Baton Rouge.

This one even has tiger stripe ribbons and purple deco mesh. Love it.

68. This Penn State wreath has a down home rustic charm.

Sure it might not use a lot of decorations. But the ribbon on the navy blue makes it so lovely.

69. This Michigan State quilt will keep any Spartan warm.

Like how they had a patchwork S. It’s in green but has a certain charm to it if you ask me.

70. Any child who loves the UCLA Bruins would want to cover up with this doll.

Well, it’s not exactly a teddy bear. But it’s adorable in a Tim Burtonesque sort of way. Cute.

71. Keep warm during the Hawkeye game with this Iowa quilt.

Unlike some of the quilts I’ve seen, this one has a nice patchwork design. Like the Hawkeyes in the corners.

72. As well all know, Notre Dame is the pride of old Indiana.

Of course, Notre Dame is perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of Indiana. But the gold logo looks really cool in the blue background.

73. Ohio birds are sure to adore this Buckeye approved Ohio State birdhouse.

Yes, it may look like a small, wooden birdhouse. But the Ohio State logo surrounds the hole.

74. For a Texas A&M fan, this Aggie cross is a holy relic.

This is made of wood and has stripes on a panel. Yes, this is a Christian symbol but I’ll allow it since it’s a work of art.

75. This WVU light post will lead you to Mountaineer country.

This lamp post might have blue arrows leading to where you need to go. Is quite quaint on any lawn. Love it.

76. Black and red flowers go great on any Georgia Bulldog wreath.

For a team with a rather intimidating mascot, this is a very beautiful wreath. I’m sure any fan would enjoy this in their home.

77. Perhaps a Florida Gators fan can go with a more floral look.

The flowers may be fake in this but they’re certainly lovely. Doesn’t hurt if the gator is in the center.

78. Grace your front door with this Notre Dame wreath in full Fightin’ Irish glory.

Love how the gold logo stands out from the blue. Wouldn’t mind having this at my door. Not sure if I’d want a Notre Dame one though.

79. Mizzou Tiger fans can’t resist this wreath.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to some fans.

This is a gold wreath with a black Mizzou ribbon. Very well done, according to what some fans may say.

80. No Seminole can’t resist this FSU flower pot football player.

Yes, this is an FSU flower pot person who’s made from flower pots. And yes, it’s certainly adorable.

NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 26, 2016

Here am I in my University of Florida Gator snuggie I received from an uncle of mine who lives in Panama City, Florida. Sure it’s not appropriate for summer weather. So I only wore it for the photo. Then again, considering that the University of Florida doesn’t have a lot of cold weather, this Gator snuggie is perfect for my opening post picture.

As I said before, college sports is a huge business in the United States despite that practically all college athletes don’t get paid in any tangible currency. Sure they’re supposed to receive an education from the school. But plenty barely have any time for that, particularly if they’re Division I. Nevertheless, since college sports are incredibly popular, it should surprise nobody that you’ll find a lot of college sports crap if you look hard enough. Yes, I know that colleges make money from ticket sales, tuition payments, contributions, and the like. But as long as there are people willing to buy overpriced crap, they might as well reap in the benefits. Besides, in college sports, it’s usually the brand that’s more important than the players since they’re only in the programs for up to 4 years before graduation anyway. Hell, some don’t even graduate if they become eligible for the pros (despite that this doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, there’s a strong chance they may not be nearly the star player they once were in their college days. Just ask Heisman winner Tim Tebow). Nevertheless, I can go along with showing you all the jerseys and other items they sell. But you’d probably be bored with it. So instead, I’ll show you items that might make you scratch your head since few would even consider buying something like that at all. Most of these items are from Division I schools naturally.

Take your little one to the big game with this purple and gold LSU stroller.

Not sure about you. But I don’t think any parent should take young children to a Division I college game. It’s not very kid friendly environment and they’d probably be whiny the whole time.

2. This Penn State bar counter is perfect for tailgating at Happy Valley.

That is, if you have a pickup to carry it in and are willing to spend a large amount of money on outdoor furniture. Other than that, it’s not worth it.

3. This Oregon hoodie allows you to carry a beer bottle in your pocket.

However, if you see someone with a hoodie like this on them as well as a beer bottle in them, they may have a problem. This is especially if they have beers in both hands, too.

4. Sing the blues when your team loses with this WVU acoustic guitar.

Because singing annoying country music is a much better way to deal with your emotions than setting a couch on fire. At least it won’t lead to calling the fire department.

5. No LSU fan’s home is complete without a Tiger toilet seat.

This is actually a vintage item and may not be available. But it’s made from solid wood and intricately carved.

6. Get your pet in the Buckeye spirit with this Ohio State feed bowl holder.

Because your dog will really be grateful that you did. Though Rover would’ve been just as happy if you bought a plain one for less money.

7. Have your baby show Wildcat pride on March Madness with this University of Kentucky blinky.

For the love of God, these overpriced pacifiers aren’t worth your money. Seriously, why do they even exist? Just get a regular one for your baby. It’s cheaper.

8. Stomp in support for your Nittany Lions with these Penn State cowboy boots.

I can understand if these are sold in the western colleges, especially if they have a western themed mascot. But Penn State? State College was never in cowboy country!

9. This chic University of Kentucky sequin purse is Wildcat approved.

Yes, I know that there are plenty of women who are fans of college sports. Some even played them. But this pink sequin UK purse is utterly ridiculous.

10. Ladies, show your Duck pride with this University of Oregon sequin bra.

Why the fuck does this even exist? Seriously, sequin bras are stupid enough. But ones with college logos on them? I don’t know if that’s worse.

11. Texas Longhorn fans will surely adore these University of Texas wedding garters.

Yes, I know football at all levels is very big in Texas. But I still don’t understand why these Longhorn garters have to exist. It’s crazy.

12. Light it up this summer with this geometric Notre Dame fire dome.

Yes, you got that right. Think of it as a geometric shape iron dome with Notre Dame stuff on it. Will certainly light up the sky.

13. Show your Buckeye pride with these Ohio State lawn frogs.

I know lawn ornaments can be pretty ridiculous. But college team lawn frogs? That’s just a whole another level.

14. Now you can know how cold it is in Columbus with this Ohio State gnome thermometer.

I don’t know about you. But I think thermometers shouldn’t hold bias to the seasons. And this gnome is obviously carrying a snow shovel.

15. Put your Wildcats on your toast with this University of Kentucky branding toaster.

Yeah, I know I showed you similar stuff in my NFL merch post. But these colleges tend to sell similar products. And a lot of them tend to be ridiculous as well.

16. Propose to your Buckeye girlfriend with this Ohio State engagement ring.

Then again, guys, on second thought, don’t. Seriously, just because you and your girlfriend are friends of Ohio State, doesn’t mean you should. Because it might backfire.

17. Keep your drink at your side when watching the Fightin’ Irish with this Notre Dame hip flask.

And yet, another example of Notre Dame playing to offensive Irish stereotypes. Because what is anyone going to keep in a hip flask? Water? Oh, hell no.

18. Grace your living room with this stained glass Mizzou Tiger lamp.

Because nothing makes your home look chic like a Tiffany style lamp of your college team. Then again, it probably looks better at a sports bar.

19. Keep your basement well furnished on game day with this set of Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish bar stools.

Another case of Notre Dame playing to derogatory Irish stereotypes. But at least it’s not as bad as with the hip flask. Great for any Irish pub.

20. Fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide will enjoy this commemorative golf set.

Sure there may be people who enjoy golf in Alabama. But just because someone enjoys college football, doesn’t mean they like golf, too. Just saying.

21. Show support for your Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium with this digital jersey pin.

It’s a pin that has an on going message saying, “Go Nittany Lions!” Yet, it must be very expensive if you ask me.

22. Nothing makes a night worth remembering than a bonfire in a Texas Longhorn fire pit.

Because why go through all the trouble of making one in your own backyard when you can buy this? Yes, it might be more expensive but that’s beside the point.

23. Why carry your stadium seat and cooler separately, when this USC cooler knapsack lets you do both in one piece?

Now that’s very convenient. However, you’ll probably save more money buy a plain one instead. Just saying.

24. This Penn State pocket watch makes a great gift for any Nittany Lion fan.

Well, if he’s your grandpa who went to Penn State before Joe Pa coached there. But other than that, I’m not sure.

25. Show your Crimson Tide spirit in your truck with these Alabama University truck mats.

Well, if you have a pickup that has 2 rows of seats. Yet, not all pickup trucks actually do.

26. Wipe your mess clean at the game with these NCAA licensed paper towels.

Pictured are Alabama, LSU, and Texas A&M. Of course, regular paper towels do the job just fine, are probably cheaper, and you can get them anywhere.

27. Keep yourself warm and snug at the games with this LSU Tiger snuggie.

Because how else are going to keep warm in Baton Rouge on those 70 degree days? Also, it’s kind of ugly.

28. Now you can move around with ease in this Ohio State motor scooter.

Because bicycles are so overrated, right? Still, I’ve never seen anyone using a motor scooter and I think this one is expensive as hell.

29. You’re always ready for tailgating with this USC picnic set.

For nothing makes you more ready for college football than showing up at the tailgate party with a wicker picnic basket. Also, does this one include dishes and utensils for more than one person? Because it doesn’t seem like it.

30. Now you can make your home smell like a lucky shamrock with this Notre Dame scented candle.

Yes, Yankee Candle really does sell these. I didn’t make this up. They have ones for other teams, too. Yet, the Notre Dame one is among the few that make sense.

31. Get comfortable watching the Panthers with this University of Pittsburgh helmet armchair.

Seems a bit high, don’t you think? Also, not sure if I really want to sit in one of those, anyway.

32. Make your Iowa University tailgating complete with this Hawkeye portable grill.

Then again, it might’ve been cheaper to get a similar plain grill and place a Hawkeye sticker on it. But that’s just my opinion.

33. Mountaineer fans can enjoy endless fun with WVU Monopoly.

It’s like Monopoly except the winner hast to torch their couch on fire. Because that’s a crazy WVU tradition.

34. Always be ready for anything with this USC Trojan toolbox.

Well, anything that comes to home repair or home project. However, I don’t think it includes the kind of tools you’ll need to build a massive wooden horse though.

35. Nothing makes you more pumped for an Oregon Duck game like these tye die shirts.

I’m sure any resident campus hippie will certainly dig them. Hey, I didn’t say they couldn’t be sports fans, too.

36. Now you can support your Ducks in the comfort of your home with one of these Oregon armchairs.

Comes in Oregon Duck colors which might clash with some of the living room furniture. Then again, why does sport team furniture even exist?

37. It’s not a day of Penn State football without this Nittany Lion pigskin toaster.

Even brands the Penn State logo on your toast. Why you’d think it’s necessary is beyond me.

38. Keep yourself warm this winter with some blue hot chocolate from the University of Florida.

Because you’re bound to need some hot drink to keep you from freezing during a 70 degree winter in Gainesville. So why not take the chance than on a beverage that might make your lips and tongue look like you’re suffering from hypothermia?

39. Step out in style in these LSU jeweled high-heeled shoes.

I don’t know about you. But I’d rather attend a college game in more comfortable footwear. High heels are for more high end occasions like parties.

40. May your bathroom be a tribute to your team with this Mizzou Tigers toilet.

Now that’s one of the most tacky toilets I’ve ever seen. I mean tiger stripes? That’s insane.

41. Keep your home secure with your very own Alabama Crimson Tide handgun.

Oh, my God, please tell me that this doesn’t exist! Seriously, these things kill people that there’s a reason why Texas professors don’t want them in their classrooms. And I hope this weapon is never seen on a college campus ever. Also, hope they don’t have one for Virginia Tech.

42. Support your college team from beyond the grave in this LSU casket.

Yes, these team caskets do exist. Yes, I know it’s ridiculous and think a regular one is cheaper. But somehow there’s a demand.

43. Drink like a true Nittany lion fan with these Penn State light up reusable ice cubes.

Yes, you read that right. These are reusable ice cubes with Penn State logos. Don’t ask me how that works. They also light up.

44. Enjoy the great stadium popcorn taste at game day with your very own University of Kentucky popcorn maker.

Because why go through the trouble with the microwavable stuff when you can get this? Then again, there are plenty of ways to make popcorn without buying expensive stuff like this.

45. Now you can fish with Mountaineer pride if you have this WVU fishing lure.

Not sure if the fish would go for a WVU fishing lure. And in some West Virginia rivers, I’m not sure if you’ll find fish in there at all.

46. Keep your food nice and cool with your very own Ohio State refrigerator.

College team mini fridges are one thing. But a standard fridge? I don’t think anyone’s buying it. Besides, you can easily use different color tape to obtain the look anyway.

47. This Christmas, make sure your kids are well behaved with this University of Kentucky Elf on the Shelf.

And I thought that the regular Elf on the Shelf was creepy that I devoted blog posts making fun of it. Yeah, this is insane.

48. Get your drinks during tailgating with this LSU R2-D2 drink server.

To be fair, this R2-D2 was painted with LSU colors. Yet, it’s pretty ridiculous just the same, especially if it’s near younger college students.

49. Keep yourself warm at Happy Valley with these Penn State heavy duty Nike gloves.

Then again, they may not be for winter. Besides, I think you can get a cheaper pair practically anywhere.

50. Make bath time so much fun with this Nittany Lion duck from Penn State.

Okay, this is freaky. I mean it seems to be a cross between a rubber duck and and a mountain lion. Then again, the head reminds me more of a bear. Seriously, why?

51. Keep your wine at hand with this Iowa Hawkeyes high heeled wine holder.

I don't understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tackier, especially with encrusted gems.

I don’t understand why such wine holders even exist. I mean even regular ones seem tacky as hell, especially with encrusted gems.

52. Step out at any time of the year in this Syracuse adjustable dress.

Well, at least this one doesn’t have the Orange mascot on it. Yet, how is this 4 dresses in one? What its secret?

53. Keep your hair nice and neat with your very own Florida Gators straightener.

So there are hair products with sports logos? And in sport colors, too? Wouldn’t a regular straightener do just fine?

54. Come to the game in style with a pair of University of Tennessee sunglasses.

By the way, these are for women since they have sparkly rhinestones encrusted on them. I know it’s crazy, right?

55. Ladies, keep yourself in the team spirit with these NCAA nail polish sets.

Pictured here are Alabama, Michigan State, and Notre Dame. And did I tell you they come in football helmet bottles?

56. These NCAA candle warmers are just what everyone needs.

I have no idea what these actually do besides possibly warming a candle. But isn’t that what a flame is supposed to do?

57. Nothing looks better on a cake in West Virginia than this WVU burning couch candle.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration is now a candle. And there's plenty of wax to go around.

Now the age old WVU victory celebration of vandalism is now a candle. And there’s plenty of wax to go around.

58. Nothing looks better in a Florida State Seminole fan’s cabinet than this commemorative FSU decanter set.

Those who know about American history may remember that many Native Americans didn’t take well to alcoholic beverages. So kind of makes this gift kind of inappropriate for a Seminoles fan.

59. This Penn State collectible gas station shelf provides sufficient storage space.

I can understand a regular gas station shelf if you want to go for a retro look? But this? Seems more appropriate for a bar.

60. Light it up in your home with this stained glass LSU helmet lamp.

I was going to include one of the Philadelphia Eagles for the NFL merchandise last year. But I couldn’t. So here’s the LSU Tiger one.

61. I’m sure any woman Texas Longhorn fan would want a bouquet of roses like these.

Yes, they make these. But while some school colors may work on floral displays, Texas University’s isn’t one of them.

62. Get some outdoor rest in this LSU canopy hammock.

Think I might’ve featured one of these in my outdoor items post. Then again, I might not have.

63. This Iowa Hawkeye fridge comes with a tap for serving drinks.

Sure this will be all the rage at Iowa University parties. Even when the students are underage, too.

64. At Michigan State, Juke ‘Em is a football card game.

Not sure how this is played or whether it’s present on college campuses. But the graphics remind me of band aid packaging.

65. No Penn State bathroom should be complete without a Nittany Lion shower curtain.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I'm not sure if these should be on the market. Of course, perhaps I should've kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn't resist.

Then again, in light of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, I’m not sure if these should be on the market and I’ll just leave you at that. Of course, perhaps I should’ve kept my mouth shut on that. But I couldn’t resist. Now I feel terrible.

66. This Fightin’ Irish bar sign will certainly light up a room.

Seems like something you’d see at an Irish pub. Like if it was in Las Vegas.

67. Now you can watch your Mountaineers on your very own WVU couch.

Yes, watch the Mountaineers on this WVU sofa. And when it gets old and starts falling apart, you can give it a proper send off the next time they win.

68. Tailgating at Wisconsin University has never been so much fun than with this football helmet drink dispenser.

I was going to use an LSU one. But since I haven’t featured anything from the Wisconsin Badgers, I decided to go with this.

69. Your little ones feel snug and warm in these Florida Gator booties.

Because those 70 degree winters can really cause a freeze. Still, its unlikely they’ll ever be used on the Florida University campus.

70. Now your pooch can show support for the Tar Heels with this North Carolina cheerleading outfit.

It’s one thing to have a cheerleading outfit for a little girl. But one for a dog? I really don’t understand.

71. Your little one can’t go to a Michigan Wolverine tailgating party without this high chair.

I was wondering if they have fold up high chairs like that. Wish I could find one of these for my outdoor post.

72. Make your place more interesting with this FSU hat and face.

Is it just me, or do I find this utterly creepy. I mean it doesn’t have a head for God’s sake. Don’t know why they thought it was a good idea.

73. Any Wolverine football fan will sure adore this Michigan Mr. Potato Head.

Seems like there’s a Mr. Potato Head for everything these days. Even in college football apparently.

74. No female Wolverine fan should go without their very own Michigan football purse.

Yes, it’s a purse shaped like a football. No, I’m not sure if anyone would buy it but some people might like it.

75. Keep your dog safe in warm in these fleece Michigan Wolverine pajamas.

This dog seems to have this: “Kill me now” look in its face. Seriously, dog pajamas? Most dogs don’t even wear them. Besides they have something to keep them warm through the night anyway. It’s called fur.

76. Keep your kid safe in the car with this Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish car seat.

Comes with its own cup holder, too. Also, a plain car seat like this one is probably cheaper, anyway.

77. Get in the Christmas spirit with these Michigan State Spartan candy canes on your tree.

I’m sure these are for decoration since they seem to have a place for string on them. Yet, they also look rather disgusting despite being green.

78. Have your little one snuggle up with their very own Dream Lite Otto the Orange from Syracuse.

Of course, your kid will be puzzled on why an upstate New York college has an orange as their mascot. But there are some things that you can’t really explain.

79. Have hours of Nittany Lion fun with this Penn State arcade game machine.

Yes, this exists. I guess this has to do with football. Probably incredibly expensive and so not worth it.

80. Always know where the wind is blowing with your very own Ohio State weather vane.

Like you really would buy it and attach it to the roof of your house. Give me a break, you wouldn’t even if you’re a diehard Buckeyes fan.

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 25, 2016

Since I went to Saint Vincent College, I decided to dress in my alma mater’s attire. Here I am with a Saint Vincent College football hat as well as my March of the Bearcats jacket, polo, and basketball T-shirt. Yes, it’s a Division III school, but it’s in the spirit of the article. After all, this is about school spirit anyway.

In late August, it’s not unusual to see college kids moving into their dorms on campus with freshman doing so for the first time. However, it’s very likely that the college athletes have already moved back on campus and are preparing for another season, particularly football players. And if they’re on a Division I team, then they’re probably under a lot of pressure to do their best that some of them may not have the time to do any actual schoolwork. Let’s just say going to a Division I school on a full athletic scholarship isn’t nearly what it’s cracked up to be. And that’s nearly getting into how the NCAA profits from these kids tremendously despite that they don’t even pay them a dime. Anyway, in America, college sports are big business and sometimes it’s not unusual for people to feel more loyalty to their college teams than their pro teams. It may be because they went to the school themselves like my dad with Slippery Rock or me with Saint Vincent. Sometimes it might be because the college is within a closer geographic proximity which I think is the case with many WVU and Crimson Tide fans since West Virginia and Alabama don’t have any Big 4 pro sports teams within their state. Not to mention, there are more college teams than pro teams. Yet, these colleges do have their fans and some of them can be outright crazy. And that’s where I come in to show you some of the craziest college fans decked in their ridiculous game day finest so you can see for yourself. Because although I may not be a big sports fan, I do know that college sports are very popular that people would go to these ridiculous lengths to support their team. So for your college reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of wacky college sports fans to enjoy. Most of them will be from Division I schools, naturally.

Seems like Dumbledore or Gandalf the White made a presence at Happy Valley.

I think he was wearing this during a white out PSU game. But the wizard beard and body paint is just the same.

2. This South Florida woman is totally pumped to see her beloved Bulls.

And she has a horn hat as well as painted her whole body to prove it. Okay, she’s wearing a camisole, but still. This is over the top.

3. At the University of Michigan, all this guy needs is body paint, a helmet, and shoulder pads to support his Wolverines.

Yes, this guy is in full regalia as we know it. Still, he doesn’t have a nice message for Ohio State at any rate.

4. Introducing the Pitt Penguin.

Okay, he’s not a player for the NHL Pittsburgh Penguins. He’s just a fan of the Pitt Panthers in a penguin suit. Yes, I know it looks ridiculous.

5. These Happy Valley bunnies have come out on a winter’s day to support their Nittnay Lions.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn't hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny suits. Love it.

Now this has to be PSU school spirit at its finest. Doesn’t hurt that some of these guys are clad in pink bunny pajama suits. Love it.

6. The biggest WVU fans always go with their full body paint on.

WVU fans are a particular lot in the college landscape. The Mountaineer football team has a very passionate fanbase. It’s also said that a lot of fans have taken up the practice of couch burning.

7. This Montana fan has got his war paint on.

And he seems to have rather ornate shoulder pads to match. Like how he has the hand print on his face.

8. Here we have a Florida State Seminole fan in full war bonnet attire with a Northern Illinois husky admirer.

Just for the record, I don’t condone the Seminole wearing the war bonnet and fully understand that it’s highly offensive to Native Americans. However, since this is a college fan post, his ridiculous war bonnet attire is so over the top that I just couldn’t resist leaving it out.

9. A fan from the University of Kansas can’t be fully dressed without a feather headdress.

Kansas U’s mascot is the Jayhawk. And yes, this is fairly offensive to Native Americans but equally outrageous. Yet, I think it’s golden.

10. This Pitt girl bares her midriff even when it’s snowing outside.

Yeah, I know bare midriffs aren’t a great idea in snowy weather. But I do like her Panther hat and makeup though.

11. To this guy from the University of New Hampshire, the Wildcats are always #1 in hockey.

Doesn’t hurt that he’s wearing a puck hat to boot. Also he painted his face white and light blue.

12. At Louisiana State, a mother always tries to foster her love for the Tigers to her daughter.

However, I’m not sure going to an LSU game topless in body paint is a good idea. Because body paint is no substitute for a shirt in my opinion.

13. At the University of South Carolina, this man dons his chicken hat with pride.

South Carolina’s mascot is the game cock which is a chicken once used in the now illegal practice of cockfighting. Yes, you read that right. Don’t ask me, that’s how they call it.

14. This Arkansas fan is a true hog’s head in the making.

The University of Arkansas’s mascot is a razorback which is an aggressive wild pig. And the rap pigs get, razorbacks can be downright nasty.

15. This Temple fan dons a red sombrero to support the Owls.

Contrary to the sombrero, Temple is a college in Philadelphia. Also, owls are cool, by the way.

16. These University of Cincinnati fans are decked with all the bells and whistles.

Well, they have red and black shoulder pads along with crazy hats. But they’ll do for this fan post. Also, Cinci’s mascot is a bearcat which isn’t a fierce creature by any stretch.

17. This Central Florida fan shows his pride for the Knights by painting himself in gold.

Like the navy blue touches, blue wig, and pom poms. This guy has great talent. Must be a repressed art major.

18. Have you ever met a Florida Gator head?

Now this is the kind of Florida Gator we all should be rooting for. And I favor this one over the obnoxious Tim Tebow any day of the week. Love it.

19. At Mississippi State University, someone seems to take “Respect the Bell” to a whole new level.

He also tends to take “more cowbell” to a whole new level as well. Since he’s dressed like one. Wonder how he sits and goes to the bathroom.

20. This Louisville fan wears his Cardinal pride on his face.

That is a great make up job if I ever saw one. Almost looks like a cardinal face. Awesome.

21. Check out this man’s Iowa suit.

Well, it’s a hawk suit and striped coveralls. And it’s tacky as can be. But at least he’s in the Iowa spirit of things.

22. On game day, LSU Tiger fans go all out.

LSU fans tend to be a little crazier college sports fans than some of the other schools for some reason. But I like the purple kilt in this.

23. These Kansas State fans want to scare the death out of their enemies on the stands.

Yes, they may be wearing purple skull heads. But they’re probably as harmless as can be. They’re just supporting their Wildcats at the game.

24. He may only wear a barrel but at the University of Wyoming, he’s having a barrel of fun.

Yes, there’s a University of Wyoming and their team is the Cowboys. Yet, their color scheme is different from the NFL Dallas team. So there’s nothing to worry about.

25. At the VCU basketball game, these Ram fans go with clown wigs and beads.

The “Save Shaka Smart” on their foam hands refers to the team’s head coach at the time who led the Rams to a winning season as well as the NCAA Men’s Final Four. However, he didn’t stay for long and is now coaching for the University of Texas.

26. Hope you’re not scared by this Virginia Tech clown.

Then again, since he can induce nightmares, I think he might make a better VT mascot than the one they have now. Still pretty scary, though.

27. At Virginia Commonwealth University, these guys are pumped for the Rowdy Rams.

I hope my sister likes these guys since they’re from her school in Richmond. One of them is even dressed like Hulk Hogan and another guy is wearing a kilt.

28. Iowa Hawk couples who see games together stay together.

And yes, they dress up in ridiculous costumes together. Like the woman’s beak and braids which I think are perfect.

29. Who knew they crowdsurfed in the Navy?

Well, the military branch academies do compete in the NCAA Div. I athletics. But I’m not sure if they count as colleges. Nevertheless, love the blue hair.

30. Oklahoma Sooner fans dress in full clown attire for their team.

Yes, I know they look like a couple of clowns in pajamas. But I’ve seen fans in more ridiculous outfits than that. You’ll probably find this amusing though.

31. At Tennessee, even the cafeteria chefs come out to support their Volunteers.

Doesn’t hurt that he has a Tennessee apron and chef’s hat to match. But among all the orange, he certainly stands out.

32. Once a Texas Longhorn man, always a Texas Longhorn man.

He even has a Longhorn hat with players’ signatures on it. Must be a real fan to go that far.

33. This Notre Dame fan goes all out to show pride for his Fightin’ Irish.

Not sure what to think about having Winnie the Pooh in his crotch area. But he wears a nice Irish flag suit.

34. At WVU, this woman is willing to go full Mountaineer on game day.

After all, she’s dressed in buckskin attire, complete with coonskin cap and fringes. She even carries a stick for good measure.

35. These Florida Vikings seem a little disappointed.

But at least they dressed in crocheted Viking hats with beards. Looks ridiculous but should keep them warm.

36. From Texas A&M, I give you the Aggie hat.

Like how she used small plush cows for it along with signs. So clever.

37. This Volunteer fan paints himself with orange and white on game day.

Yes, he’s from Tennessee. And yes he wanted his paint job to match his hair. Because he’s cheering for the Volunteers.

38. At Kansas State, this man will do anything to see his Wildcats win.

Even if it means, resorting to crazy hair styles and coming to games with a cow skull. Yes, he’s willing to try anything.

39. At South Florida, you’re bound to find some creative fans during the tailgate parties.

Of course, these guys consist of two men in sparkly body paint an a guy in a grass skirt and pom pom bra. Yes, you have fans like that.

40. This guy goes for the Miami Canes all the way.

And he’s decked in Miami Hurricane colors like a true South Floridian. Even has glasses to match.

41. Didn’t know Dorothy, Thing 1, and Thing 2 were huge Boise State fans.

Odd, since I’d imagine Dorothy to support a college team in Kansas since she’s from there. As for Thing 1 and Thing 2, I think they’re both guys. But to each his own.

42. These Oregon Ducks fans will rock and roll all night on game day.

They even have the Kiss faces with green and yellow makeup. And they’re wearing matching wigs, too.

43. These Texas Longhorn women wear their team spirit on their hair.

Yes, that’s Texas Longhorn hair. And yes, you’d more or less expect in in Dr. Seuss. But at least it’s in the spirit of things.

44. This Kansas Jayhawks fan is a bit blue.

Okay, so his team lost. Big deal. But I do like how he’s wearing a Jayhawk outfit though.

45. As Darth Vader said at Texas, “May the horns be with you.”

Okay, he may not have said “May the Force be with you” in Star Wars. But it’s in the spirit.

46. At Ohio State, Big Nut is a self-professed member of the 6th Man Club.

Of course, Ohio State is better known for football than basketball. But it’s a great picture that I couldn’t resist.

47. Stripes and spots really stand out for this University of Georgia fan.

Yes, I know it looks tacky. But what does he care? He’s there to support his Bulldogs.

48. This Crimson Tide fan is always an Alabama boy at heart.

Yes, that’s a guy in football gear and coveralls. Don’t ask me how he got that idea. But he makes it work.

49. A big foam cowboy hat will surely stand out at Oregon.

Sure it makes you look like an idiot. But at least his hat matches with his jacket. I’ll give him that.

50. At the University of Miami, these two guys show their spirit other fans can’t even fathom.

Yes, one has a horned ibis helmet while the other has a Bane mask. But they have their flags and banners on full display.

51. This Boston College fan wears his hat to show his Eagle pride.

Now that hat is just so unreal. Just looks like a small carousel. Someone must have too much time on his hands.

52. For the Florida State Seminoles, this woman dresses in full buckskin attire.

Yes, she loves the Florida State Seminoles so much that she’s willing to practice cultural appropriation to show her team spirit. Yes, Native Americans, I give you permission to facepalm at this time. Yes, it’s very offensive and something you shouldn’t do at a football game.

53. These Boise fans come dressed in their finest feathered hats.

Of course, one is dressed as a pimp which is kind of insulting to blacks. But that’s beside the point. Like the other guy’s shoulder pads though.

54. These Ohio State Buckeye fans know how to show pride in the stands.

Love how all are in their Buckeye regalia for the game. One of them even has a buckeye necklace. Love it.

55. These cuddly Baylor Bears have come to watch a basketball game.

Helps that Baylor’s mascot is a bear. Still, the faces are cuddly but it’s hard to find a guy in an animal costume adorable. But this isn’t bad.

56. Hey, it’s the guys from Duck Dynasty at Saint Louis.

Okay, these are people dressed up like characters from Duck Dynasty. Like the one in the balloon hat the best.

57. Seems like a VCU basketball game is one fit for a Pharaoh.

And he’s in the King Tut headdress to match his stripped sleeves to boot. Wonder what my sister will think about this.

58. Missouri University always tries to project a friendly face.

These are members of the Missouri band dressed up as Sesame Street characters in the stands. Yes, they seem to be having a good time.

59. This Alabama fan knows that his Crimson Tide are the champs.

And champions the Crimson Tide certainly are. Mostly because the BCS system is rigged in their favor.

60. At Gonzaga, this guy goes all the way for his Bulldogs.

And yes, he’s in a clown and cape attire for good measure. Kind of wish there was a March Madness fan tournament where the more outrageous costume wins the round.

61. At Oregon State, these nuns will pray for God’s wrath on anyone who doesn’t support their team.

Yes, they’re guys dressed as nuns. But as a Catholic, I don’t find their outfits offensive. In fact, I think they’re quite clever to tell you the truth.

62. You can’t go to an Oregon Ducks game without a Oregon clam bra.

Yeah, I know what that girl is thinking about sitting next to a guy dressed like that. But I think the Oregon shell bra is quite clever and hilarious.

63. Hey, is there a smurf in the crowd?

This is a scene from Duke where the fans paint themselves with blue body paint. I know it’s ridiculous but it’s a tradition. Don’t ask me.

64. This University Washington fan is trying to take a picture from a king’s eye view.

Guess someone wants a good view of the Huskies. Even in a crown and gold mask which seems more suitable for Mardi Gras than anything.

65. Hope these LSU fans are able to cash in but it seems unlikely.

Yes, these are guys dressed as pimps. I don’t know why they do that. But they look ridiculous enough that they go on this post.

66. This Alabama fan is willing to roll in the Tide.

Like how the guy is wearing a Tide box hat with 2 rolls of toilet paper. Seems quite simple compared to the other fans on this post.

67. Yes, there’s no doubt that Oregon fans are bananas.

These two even dress in Oregon banana suits for the Ducks. Yes, I know it defies some degree of logic.

68. Today, I introduce you to none other than Florida Gator Man.

He even comes with a long gator tail to show his prowess. And to slap around fans from the other team. He never fails.

69. Oregon Ducks should know better than mess with Oregon Vader.

Because he really doesn’t take it kindly when the Ducks lose. Players might want to stay on his good side.

70. Didn’t know the Joker was a Georgia Bulldogs fan.

However, I wouldn’t want to sit near the Joker in the stands. Has a reputation for being pretty insane.

71. So this is what it’s like to be a Volunteer in a pool of Gators.

So Florida was the home team in this game against Tennessee? Makes sense but the Gator fans don’t seem too happy.

72. At Pitt, some fans live the blue and gold.

And yes, he seems to be wanting to lead the crowd into the Pitt Panthers spirit. Even if he looks totally ridiculous for the occasion.

73. At LSU, this man goes for the full Tiger suit.

Yes, the outfit looks totally hideous and not something you’d want to wear on the street. But this guy is supporting his team. Don’t judge him.

74. As an LSU fan, this woman takes being a Tiger quite literally.

Yes, she’s dressed and painted to look like an LSU Tiger. Yes, it’s insane. But at least she’s wearing a bra.

75. At North Carolina University, these fans decided to go Tar Heel blue.

Yes, North Carolina’s mascot is a Tar Heel which looks like a ram. However, it does look quite intimidating and isn’t lame.

76. This Notre Dame fan is proud that he’s Fightin’ Irish.

However, he might want to tone down the sleazy leprechaun look. Because it may offensive to some of my Irish viewers.

77. When it comes to supporting the Oregon Ducks, this guy shows his pride dressed in a hula skirt and flower bra.

Yes, I know he’s dressed like that when it’s probably not ideal to do so. But he certainly stands out in the crowd.

78. FSU man comes to Florida State to inspire Seminole pride.

Finally, a Florida State man on this post who’s not dressed to offend Native Americans. He’s a superhero instead.

79. Never fear, Seminole Man is here.

Yes, that’s another Florida State superhero fan in body paint. But his initials on his chest are SN for Seminole.

80. At Boise State, you can’t leave out the blue haired Elvis impersonators.

Guess they get quite an audience. Like their orange scarves and glasses along with their white suits.

81. Now these guys just roll with the Alabama Crimson Tide.

So they have toilet paper rolls on their helmets and are wearing large red Tide boxes. Love it.

82. At Pitt, you’re bound to find a few strange hats out there.

This guy seems to have a Pitt Panther on an aircraft carrier. Hate to sit behind him or stand.

83. At Georgia Tech, Yellow Jackets fans may seem more inclined to yellow.

Apparently, that seems to be the case. Not sure if seeing them in real life hurts the eyes.

84. These Georgia Bulldogs fans seem to come quite spiked at the shoulders.

Well, they have spikes in their shoulder pads. But I’d really not want to sit next to any of them even on a good day.

85. These people always know how to support their Trojans at USC.

Funny, I hadn’t had California college fans on here yet. But while one is in a swimsuit, the other is in hoplite armor.

86. At USC, the girls are said to deck themselves in red and gold on game day.

At least the red body paint isn’t as harmful on the skin as a tanning booth. But the one in gold seems like she might have jaundice.

87. A college football fan always tries to foster their love of the game to the next generation.

But whether I approve of this Tennessee Volunteers fan and his sons wearing gangster outfits is another matter. Still, they seem rather well dressed despite the dad resembling a creamcicle.

88. This man knows how to show off his WVU Mountaineer pride without burning a couch.

Well, he’s dressed like a Mountaineer with a raccoon tail and coveralls. He also has light up glasses, too.

89. At Happy Valley, when in doubt, go with blue hair.

Seems like what this girl has done in the stands at a Penn State game. She’s even wearing beads.

90. This Rowdy Rams fan knows how to make an entrance.

He’s even wearing golden ram horns at a VCU basket ball game. Very fitting at that school.

91. Among America’s finest in blue, this bear is true fan among them.

Luckily for them, it’s a guy in a bear costume. But I love how he seems to be cheering on in the stands.

92. At Missou, this Tiger fan goes for the ultimate body paint tribute.

Is it a bit too much? Yes. Will he look ridiculous? Yes. Does he have artistic talent? Yes.

93. At the University of Arizona, this Wildcat fan is a real hotdog.

Not sure why anyone would dress as a hotdog to support their college team. But this person seems to have a great costume nonetheless.

94. This USC fan seems to be a real pinhead.

Because he has a hat with a lot of USC pins on it. And you can barely see the hat other than the plume on top.

95. For some reason University of Nebraska fans tend to wear corn hats and hold up one of their shoes.

Nebraska’s team is the Huskers. And yes, some of them wear corn heads which I think is ridiculous. But the shoe thing speaks for itself.

96. This Stanford fan will not be mocked for supporting his team.

Even if he’s wearing big red glasses and a blue clown wig. And did I say he’s a drummer?

97. These Uncle Sam Navy fans will knock your socks off.

Yes, they’re in Uncle Sam suits with boxing gloves. But They seem to have a really good time nonetheless.

98. At Syracuse, it doesn’t hurt to dress like an orange in the stands.

Sure it might make you look like an idiot. But hey, it’s not that fans come to the games to look good, especially when they wear outrageous outfits.

99. At the University of Utah, the Pumpkin head man comes out to support the Utes.

Probably something this guy does for Halloween. Wouldn’t want to sit behind him in the stands though.

100. At Colorado University, this guy will do what it takes to show his Buffalo pride.

I think this guy might be dressed as a character from the Halo video game. But I’m not sure. But I like the horns though.

Students Say the Darnedest Things

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 19, 2016

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Along with it being a month when most people take vacations, August also is prime time for back to school season or as the guy from that old Staples commercial, “the most wonderful time of the year.” So after family vacation, is back to school shopping where parents take their kids to buy the things they need for the new school year. So I thought a great way to commemorate the occasion would be a post on what students say on their tests and assignments. Sure you may have to wonder whether these kids are taking school seriously since most of these answers are wrong as far as the teachers are concerned. Yet, these are wrong in ways that they’re kind of funny. Some of them may be by students who’ve made honest mistakes like the younger kids. Some of them may be by complete smartasses or people who might’ve taken the question way too literally. But at any rate, I hope parents and teachers may enjoy these answers. So for your viewing pleasure, I show them to you.

Explain how zookeepers use food to help the lives of animals.

Seems like this kid is trying to see what these zoo animals are like on the inside. Not sure if that’s right though.

2. Of course, some people still write in the section when they’re told not to.

Yeah, you may only live once. But that’ doesn’t mean you should write “YOLO” where you shouldn’t.

3. Guess acronyms are harder to figure out than you originally thought.

No, I don’t think PEMDAS means “Pleas Excuse My Dope Ass Swag.” It’s more like “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally” or parenthesis, equation, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. It’s a formula in algebra.

4. Explain the temperature and how it relates to the football and basketball.

Then again, I wouldn't blame the kid for the answer. Mostly because this was a lame ass question which gives no information about the basketball.

Then again, I wouldn’t blame the kid for the answer. Then again, it would be funnier if the kid drew anything relating to the New England Patriots and deflated footballs.

5. Seems like a Dalek exterminated a child’s math homework answer.

Yeah, if I could figure out the area of the rectangle, I could’ve solved for x. Then again, the kid was probably watching too much Doctor Who.

6. Moving on to history on Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech, what was his dream?

No, I don’t think his dream had anything to do with working at Taco Bell. It had more to do with racial equality as well as ending segregation and other racist policies.

7. Seems like this kid didn’t even bother to answer the physics question.

No, I don’t think the problem has anything to do with Bruce Wayne being Batman. You don’t need calculus to solve that.

8. Apparently, Frankie is an honest child, maybe too honest.

Funny how this kid already knows what the world “freeloader” means. They grow up so fast. Or his parents are Ayn Rand libertarians.

9. Sometimes a student really wants extra credit when there is none.

Sorry, but this teacher doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. And no, intimidation is no way to get extra credit.

10. Apparently, the octopus seemed to come out of nowhere.

So the kid couldn’t answer the question due to the octopus being in the way. Don’t think the teacher bought it.

11. I believe this question was framed in a scientific context.

Besides, Communism only benefits everyone on paper. In practice, however, not so much as demonstrated with Russia.

12. No, I don’t think sex ed is an ideal place to draw a cougar.

Even freakier is how the kid drew the eyes at the ovaries and used the rest of the uterus as a snout. Yeah, have to wonder about that kid.

13. In geometry, all lines and shapes have meaning.

Sorry, kid, that’s not how geometry works. But at least they got the line names right.

14. Don’t judge and elementary school kid by their lack of grammar and spelling.

Yeah, I know it sounds dirtier than it should be. But the kid was talking about riding their bike for God’s sake.

15. In a student paper, you might find an occasional curse word.

I believe the term is “apeshit” in this case. Not sure what this question is really about anyway.

16. Okay, that’s a bit too graphic for a presentation.

Hey, the kid’s right. But that doesn’t mean they should show it in graphic stick figure detail.

17. I believe it’s < or >, not “or.”

Someone doesn’t seem to be following directions. Or just doesn’t seem to care at any point.

18. Someone doesn’t seem to understand their chemistry or pop culture.

No, that’s not how thermodynamics or enzymes work. But the teacher did say, “nice try.”

19. So what happens to a boy going through puberty, according to this kid?

No, I don’t think a boy enters adultery during puberty. But that’s a nice plot summary to The Graduate.

20. Apparently, science hasn’t been on this kid’s mind at the moment.

Sorry, but a science essay question isn’t the place for such a personal insight. Still funny though.

21. Looks like a walrus found its way into this kid’s homework book.

At least this kid believes that global warming is real unlike a lot of Republican congressmen. Also, that’s a nice walrus drawing.

22. No, I don’t think the Eye of Sauron has anything to do with wearing a seatbelt.

Seems like Alex might be a little too into Lord of the Rings. Teacher is not amused.

23. Sorry, kid, but this is science class, not English Lit.

I believe the correct answer is the electromagnetic force since it’s stronger than gravity. But that’s just relating to the laws of physics.

24. Sometimes one kid unscrambles the wrong word.

I believe the word is supposed to be “this.” But it does have the same letters as “shit” just in a different arrangement.

25. Apparently, one student couldn’t get past their perception of Asian stereotypes to answer.

The correct answer is “D” the monthly car payment. Because it’s at a fixed rate. Besides, a lot of Asians do drive. Get a grip, kid.

26. Once again, spelling errors should be taken into consideration here.

I think the right word is “pencils” not “penis.” Cora probably doesn’t know what the latter term means by this point in her life. Because she’s only in kindergarten.

27. Describe a plant cell.

No, I don’t think an imprisoned flower is what the teacher had in mind. Perhaps they should think of what they saw in their science book.

28. List 4 ways people communicate other than through mail.

Well, all answers are technically correct. However, the Grindr one is pretty disturbing since it’s a gay male dating site. Wonder where this kid learned about that.

29. The answer relating to the differences between the February and October Revolutions is simple.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family. The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks. Either way, the kid wasn't completely wrong about the dates.

The correct answer was that the February Revolution overthrew the Russian Royal family (which actually took place in March but Russians still used the Julian Calendar). The October Revolution saw the rise of the Bolsheviks (which actually took place in November). So the kid is dead wrong either way.

30. What’s the highest noise frequency a human can register?

Not sure if Mariah Carey is right. But seems like this kid might feel that way.

31. Someone doesn’t seem to like doing their math homework.

Not sure what some of this is supposed to say since it’s written differently. But the hangman picture speaks for itself.

32. Sorry, but algebra isn’t a place for opinions.

Man, this kid is a real smart ass. And seems to get a lot of answers wrong in the process.

33. I don’t think the teacher was thinking about that kind of transformer.

Then again, some people could only name such transformers like Optimus Prime. This teacher was thinking about something used at a power station.

34. How long does it take a jumping armadillo to land on its feet?

Sorry, kid, but armadillos do jump when startled. But not 18 feet unlike what the problem says.

35. Describe hidden curriculum.

Well, that’s one way of answering the question. But not exactly what the teacher was looking for.

36. Name one measure to prevent flooding in the Mississippi River Valley.

No, I don’t think “big dames” is going to solve that problem. Then again, the kid might’ve meant, “big dams.” But that didn’t protect against Katrina in 2005.

37. List 3 ways on why removing hedges is a bad idea.

1. Farmers keep cows in through fencing. 2. It’s very unlikely cars would run into the fields unless it was under an enchantment or driven by a drunk driver. 3. Why do you care?

38. Describe a vibration.

Unfortunately, the Beach Boys hit, “Good Vibrations” has nothing to do with the science of sound. Was a great catchy song though.

39. When this girl grows up, she wants to be like her mommy.

Like how the mother added a letter explaining that she works at the Home Depot, not at a strip club. But I’m not sure if I really buy that because stripper moms do exist. And the picture seems to suggest the mother works at a strip club.

40. Sketch a human body and locate the following glands.

Guess this was not what the teacher had in mind when it came to the endocrine system. But this kid sure has a talent for drawing.

41. In case I get this test wrong, here’s a picture of a giraffe.

Seems like the teacher appreciated it. Nevertheless, it probably didn’t matter much.

42. I believe this kid is talking about horses not whores.

Yes, it reads very funny in an adult’s eyes. But this child just doesn’t know how to spell horses and is not talking about prostitution.

43. How do you identify athlete’s foot?

In a way, yes. But athlete’s foot is a fungal foot disease which doesn’t look pretty.

44. Deserts are hot and cold so name a hot one and a cold one.

I believe the word was “desert” not dessert. But this kid doesn’t seem to know the difference, apparently.

45. Describe what an antonym means.

Antonym means opposite. It doesn’t describe a person’s name for crying out loud.

46. How did the Romans transport water?

The correct term is “aqueduct” not an “aqua duck.” But I can see what the student might’ve gotten the idea.

47. Why did Archimedes shout “Eureka” while in the bath?

No, it had something to do with buoyancy, kid. But I give some points on creativity.

48. Apparently, this kid views the uterus as some monster from a horror movie.

Sorry, but I don’t think the female reproductive system works that way. But great drawing, though.

49. You have to wonder what children are learning from their parents these days.

I guess the teacher will be writing to this child’s parents sometime soon. Because I don’t think that’s a word that should be on a reading assignment.

50. Hope the teacher doesn’t fail this kid thanks to Borat.

$Don't think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.$

Don’t think Borat in his trademark swimsuit will have any effect here. Do the work.

51. Sometimes students can be quite mean in their answers.

Just leave it with the water and trash thing, kid. Don’t need to talk about the boy being chubby.

52. Looks like someone has no idea about the states of matter.

Guess this kid wasn’t entirely wrong when it came to New Jersey. Given what Bridgegate had to teach us. As for California, well, LA is not known for having a lot of movement on the freeways.

53. No, I don’t think this kid has any idea about bestiality.

Still, they got the question wrong at any rate. But it’s still pretty funny if you’re an adult.

54. Honestly, the kid wants to eat cake. Seriously.

Please give these students slack here. They don’t seem to spell words right or have the best handwriting. So sometimes the words may come out wrong.

55. When it comes to US Capitalism, sometimes students can have rather interesting theories.

This was written by a college student. Apparently, he describes how America was ruled by Prince Charles and how Osama Bin Laden killed Tupac and how Saddam Hussein killed Princess Di. Yeah, it’s that bad.

56. He may be good at chemistry but he has other things on his mind.

At least this guy doesn’t neglect his studies by goofing off. However, the bonus one, kind of pushing the envelope.

57. Apparently, stick figure violence doesn’t intimidate this teacher.

Well, I would give him credit on the Pacman answer even though the correct answer is a solid. However, not sure about the stick Indian.

58. No, I don’t think Pikachu’s thundershock will make you ace this test.

However, it does look pretty good even if it’s not finished. But the teacher won’t be amused.

59. Seems like Aaron Rodgers might want to stay out of the woods until his career’s over.

According to this kid, bears eat Green Bay Packers. So Rodgers better watch his back.

60. No, I don’t think El Nino is that dramatic, but Jeremy’s essay would make a great disaster movie.

This guy talks about El Nino like it’s Clash of the Titans. No, Jeremy, that’s not how it works.

61. Explain the Madisonian model of government.

No, that’s not quite it. Seems more like Stand Your Ground to me. Perhaps they should elaborate more.

62. Well, at least the kid isn’t failing health class.

Sure the correct answer might be 2. But it’s super hard to argue that this kid is wrong. They did the math.

63. Sorry, Matthew but Charizard is no match for Blastoise.

Teacher knows what they're talking about. Guess math isn't Matthew's thing.

Teacher knows what they’re talking about. Guess calculus isn’t Matthew’s thing.

64. Seems like someone has been watching too much of the History Channel.

No, aliens aren’t responsible for everything. Seriously, it’s bullshit on the History Channel which hasn’t been known for its educational programming.

65. I have to agree this kid has a point.

Sure they may know the right answer. But they added it may not be the case since amputees exist.

66. If your answers aren’t correct, you can always count on Perry the Platypus.

And it seems like Perry helped. Then again, it was probably due to the student’s own efforts.

67. At times you kind of wish you’d answer an essay question like this.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way when it comes to stories I had to read that I wasn’t emotionally invested in. But that’s what school is like sometimes.

68. Sorry, but Darth Vader is from Star Wars not Star Trek.

Sure Vader has a deep voice but he’s not a Star Trek character. Saying he’s from Star Trek will result in a sci-fi convention in furor.

69. Apparently, this diagram doesn’t show the nice side of giraffes.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, sometimes nature is like that.

You kind of get the idea that this kid saw how giraffes were heartless creatures. Then again, maybe the short neck giraffe should’ve found another tree.

70. Could a man still reproduce with one ball?

While not entirely wrong, this answer isn’t entirely right either. Because even if a guy has a testicle, he could still reproduce. (as long as it’s functional).

71. Describe hard water.

I don't think that's what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with chemical properties.

I don’t think that’s what the teacher had in mind. It probably has to do with mineral content.

72. Sorry but I don’t think Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite.

Hope Lady Gaga doesn’t get offended. Then again, I could see why that kid came up with that conclusion.

73. Write about a Chinese immigrant’s experience in the 1870s.

Well, that’s one way to answer the question. However, not sure what my Chinese viewers will think about this.

74. I think many adults would say the same thing.

Kid seems to know their history, particularly what happened to Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre. Yeah, I could see where they ‘re getting at.

75. Sometimes driver’s ed could have interesting characters.

Actually, night would be more appropriate. But this is still funny to read if you ask me.

76. No, that’s not how you describe a graph.

This kid seems to describe a graph like it’s a work of art. It’s not, it’s way to display information.

77. Any Harry Potter fan would recognize the mark of the Deathly Hallows.

I might’ve said the same thing had I grew up with such a test. Still, Harry Potter doesn’t have much place in geometry.

78. Fill in the solution about falling down at the playground.

Well, at least that kid has a point. But they probably haven’t heard about First Aid.

79. Is Steve speeding? Yes or no.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that's beside the point. The correct answer is yes.

Yes, Steve could find out on his speedometer but that’s beside the point. Do the math.

80. I’d have to wonder about this child.

I don’t think a teenage death match on reality television is going to cut it. It may not be ethical.

81. This bacterium is about to get funky.

Sorry, but bacteria don’t break dance. Pretty hilarious though.

82. Sorry, I don’t think this teacher is amazed by rainbows, ponies, and turtles.

Still, those are great illustrations. But this is a biology test for God’s sake.

83. Unfortunately, Jesus was not a Civil War hero.

Jesus lived in 1st Century Palestine during the Roman Empire. The American Civil War took place in the 1860s. And it wasn’t between China and Pakistan.

84. Mr. Gibson, I’m afraid that your child isn’t doing well in American History at the moment.

Like how the teacher said, “Are you crazy? See me.” Yeah, that should be a red flag.

85. I believe the correct term is “dwarf.”

This answer is quite crazy. I know you’d laugh if you heard something like that, too.

86. Guess this kid couldn’t brainstorm verbs.

Guess this kid couldn’t get that song out of their head. You’ve probably read it like that, too.

87. Seems like someone doesn’t like failing a test.

I know a teacher would be freaked out by that image. Seems like someone is going to notify their parents.

88. I don’t think those were the heavy metal symbols your teacher was looking for.

This is chemistry class, not music class. Those heavy metal symbols are wrong. They should be element letters.

89. This ninja will not tolerate a bad mark on this test.

The other ninja has a red pen. And the red pen is more powerful.

90. Seems like this kid didn’t understand the question.

The correct answer is a park because it’s an outdoor venue. But yes, you can’t circle a tornado.

91. Sometimes asking kids to write a story to the problem is going way too far.

Yes, the answer is correct. But if a guy has more than one girlfriend at the same time, that’s a problem.

92. The panda will cry if this kid gets a bad grade. Teacher doesn’t care.

Love the picture of the panda eating bamboo. But the kid should’ve studied their math before the test.

93. No, I don’t think he got fired over something like that.

I guess the guy got fired because he got his science wrong such as warm air rises but cold air sinks. Not because he banged his boss’s wife.

94. Guess someone sees themselves as a cool bird.

Well, at least the kid is better at drawing than I am. But I don’t think that’s the right answer.

95. Sorry, but this is chemistry not the Lion King.

But I can see where they got their answer. However, this doesn’t mean the phrase means no worries for them.

96. Ninja asks to give 100%.

And it seems like the kid got the grade plus 2 bonus points. The ninja did it.

97. In this kid’s world, bacon is always the answer.

Unless if it’s referring to Jupiter. Because bacon has nothing to do with it.

98. Why use milk when a child’s been poisoned?

No, I don’t think so. But that’s a close answer. It might have something to do with the poison’s chemistry.

99. This kid is almost there on this long test.

And Gandalf seems to appear out of nowhere in red pen saying, “You shall not pass!” Poor kid.

100. Do not write your essay on this space.

There always seems to be that one student who breaks that rule. Hope it doesn’t lead to getting points deducted.

Hogwarts Teacher Evaluations by Albus Dumbledore

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 1, 2016

Dumbledore's_speech_at_the_Great_Hall_in_1996

Professors, due to parental complaints which should remain nameless, I think the time has come that we put in some accountability system in place through introducing teacher evaluations. You shall receive yours through owl post which contains both my positive and negative observations as well as areas for improvement. Any questions, comments, and concerns, send an owl to my office. Teachers in previous years would be accounted for as well because our standards have really gone down when you have to hire a new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor every year. It’s a real pain in the ass. As Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I take teacher accountability very serious, well, most of the time. Let’s please make this school a safe and quality learning environment for our students.

Rubeus Hagrid

Department: Care of the Magical Creatures

Pro: Expertise in handling magical creatures makes him uniquely qualified for the position. Demonstrates better personal safety than his predecessor (who retired to spend time with his remaining limbs). Hippogriff lesson was a great example of how students shouldn’t be cocky to animals. Also, does it on a gamekeeper’s salary which works for our budget.

Con: Does not speak in clear or understandable English. Cries, a lot. Has spent considerable time away from class. Once walked off to the Forbidden Forest for most of the lesson and returned with a black eye which went completely unexplained. Had students buy books that will attack them. Hippogriff incident resulted in a student being attacked as well as a huge mess on our hands (since the boy’s dad was a school board member). Can’t be trusted with a secret. Doesn’t know how to spell. Has a preference for very dangerous creatures, which he considers “cute” and tends to put their well-being over other people’s safety. Often puts students in harm’s way in his lessons plans (making our school prone to lawsuits). Then there’s the issue of him being expelled in his 3rd year (though we know the truth behind that). Sometimes even the students who like him best couldn’t be in the class longer than necessary.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Don’t make students buy books that would attack them. Don’t let students fly around unsupervised on hippogriffs. Restrict your curriculum to creatures you know how to care for. Or better yet, anything that’s not a walking death trap. Also if a student is being rude, just send them to the office (though to be fair, the boy did have it coming).

Grade: C, not the worst person for the job but there’s plenty of room for improvement.

Cuthbert Binns

Department: History of Magic

Pro: Knows how to make an entrance such as through the blackboard. Also, keeping him around as a ghost teacher saves money on hiring as well as faculty room and board costs.

Con: His Chamber of Secrets lesson was perhaps the only time students were known to stay awake for, which he insists can’t possibly be real. Has a reputation for being notoriously boring that most of his students fall asleep 5 minutes into class, which he doesn’t address in any way. Doesn’t help that students don’t really pay attention to his class very much. Seems surprised and irritated when asked a history related question. Does not know any of his students’ names, even those he’s known for years. May not be aware that he’s been dead for years. Might’ve failed to evacuate classroom during fire and possibly slept through the deaths of several students. Is so absent-minded that he’s amazed to find his class full of students.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Either try being livelier or move on, as in beyond the veil. Also, you should know there is more to history than just the Goblin Wars. In addition, I would recommend you take a course in fire safety if that’s possible.

Grade: D-, you should’ve been fired a long time ago, whenever that was. Not I’m not sure if that’s possible since having you around does save a ton of money not having to pay for a history teacher.

Severus Snape

Department: Potions/Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: Is a wizarding genius who’s well-versed in all magical subjects. Demonstrates exemplary loyalty to this institution, making him well suited for performing tasks well beyond any wizard’s call of duty. Has people’s best interests at heart and can be the kind of guy you’d need on your side to win in a fight. Has shown to be quite protective toward students at times, including ones he’s known openly resent.

Con: Has a shady past which doesn’t endear him to his colleagues who just don’t understand his intentions (though he was right to keep some details confidential). Doesn’t really care enough about his students to teach them properly (though some students have done well when not under his observation. So he can be a damn good teacher when he wants to be). Has a reputation for showing favoritism to some of his Slytherin students while berating, insulting, threatening, and humiliating kids he doesn’t like which sometimes hinders their education. One case in particular revolved around a Gryffindor boy because his mom rejected him in favor of a guy who bullied him in school (with the boy not knowing the full story until years later). Subjected the boy in question to read various school reports about his dad’s days as a troublemaker as a punishment. Another has him refusing to call on a female student despite her hand being raised but took points away from Gryffindor due to her being “an insufferable know-it-all.” Reduced a second boy to an occasional nervous wreck for a few years. Has not only ignored bullying, but also actively encouraged it. Can’t seem to let go of his grudges toward boyhood enemies and move on with his life. Despite stoic demeanor, can get angry with the drop of a hat. “Accidentally” outed a colleague as a werewolf out of spite in an attempt to get him fired. Though he had a rather rough life, he shows very little compassion and understanding for other people’s suffering or any capability to see things differently.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Understand that you can’t take points away from a house just because a girl raised her hand for some time. Sure she may be an “insufferable know-it-all” but that’s not how the point system works. Treat all students with respect and be nice to them, no matter how much you wanted to bang their mom or how much their dad was a dick. Maybe cool down in the staff lounge between periods or perhaps attend an anger management class hosted by the Room or Requirement. Don’t take your bitterness on your students about being denied a DADA position each year, your miserable childhood, or inadvertently causing the death of your true love. Your classroom is not the place for it.

Grade: B+, you can be a great teacher if you just try to improve your personality or at least find a way to let go of your past. I can recommend a great therapist you can visit during the summer. Also, try to make an effort to improve your social skills.

Sibyl Trelawney

Department: Divination

Pro: Can actually predict the future and was eventually proven to be right much of the time (especially that one time). Then again, predicting the future is a tricky thing.

Con: Fancies herself as a great seer “possessed of the Inner Eye” though is often seen as a fraud who makes up nonsensical prophecies on the spot whether she’s right or not. Is so overly weird that students don’t take her seriously. May not actually know how predictions work or may give the wrong interpretations. At any rate, something’s not right with her. Insists students buy a Divination textbook despite thinking that books are useless. Classroom is almost always filled with smoke. Drinks a lot. Has a tendency to predict deaths of students at least once a year, including one who watched his own parents die. Best student in the history of this school left mid-class and never returned.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: If you’re not using textbooks don’t insist students to buy them. Keep the death predictions to yourself since these are children. Also, it would be best to give a little more clarity on predicting the future since your prophecies may come true but not in the way you interpret them. Put more focus and organization in your lessons.

Grade: C-, we might need to bring in someone to help you with your course load. He’ll only be half horse. Understand? Because if I didn’t keep you here for your personal safety (due to your one major prophecy), I would’ve sent you packing on the spot.

Minerva McGonagall

Department: Transfiguration

Pro: She is an exceptional and powerful witch in her field as well as a stern but fair teacher. Takes no crap from anyone and is very protective of her students for whom she’s willing to fight to the death for. But is also kindly and is seen by her students as very trustworthy as well as inspires the utmost respect. Never afraid to speak her mind and is supportive to colleagues. Is always the one teacher students go to for help even though she’d scold them since she’ll assist them whenever they need it. High expectations and project-based approach allow students to try and make mistakes in their learning.

Con: Her love of Quidditch might soften her disciplinarian skills occasionally. Or when it comes to students tormenting a teacher she simply doesn’t respect. Does not like dirty cowards. Also does not take it well when Slytherin wins the Quidditch Cup.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: There’s very little to say here.

Grade: A+, you’re the best teacher at this school.

Pomona Sprout

Department: Herbology

Pro: Doesn’t mind getting dirty when dealing with dangerous plants. Is cheerful and fair to her students. Can handle tough and dangerous situations without much fuss. Teaching environment can make even the most shy students shine by putting them at ease while challenging them to do their best.

Con: Has been known to track mud in the Great Hall.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: When it comes to the growing mandrakes, may I suggest buying some Muggle noise blocking headphones? Or magically noise blocking earmuffs? Also, clean yourself up before you enter into the Great Hall.

Grade: A, your mandrake were a great asset to us during the Chamber of Secrets incident.

Gilderoy Lockhart

Department: Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: He’s written a lot of books on Defense Against the Dark Arts as well as facing against dangerous creatures and is quite charming. Girls seem to like him.

Con: Doesn’t live up to this hype once in the classroom. Students have found him incompetent and untalented as well as vain and egotistical. Is later exposed as a fraud as well as stealing stories from others before subjecting them to memory charms. Despite being DADA teacher, has proven to be utterly useless during the Chamber of Secrets crisis and is willing to let a student die to save his own skin. Hell, he even deboned a student’s broken arm after a Quidditch accident as well as ran out of the classroom during a pixie infestation. Colleagues unanimously detest him as well as students who can see past his foppish good looks. Even attempted to erase two students’ memories.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: How about actually studying Defense Against the Dark Arts before deciding to teach them. Also, don’t try to use students to enhance your own vanity. And stay away from broken wands. And please, don’t attempt to use magic to heal a student’s injuries, that’s Madam Pomphrey’s job and she hates you.

Grade: F, then again this job didn’t have many takers. Besides, I knew he was a fraud when I hired him because I knew some of his victims personally. I only invited him to teach just to expose him and he only took the job because Harry Potter was a student there. So having the chance to “train” another celebrity was an offer he couldn’t refuse.Luckily, since you fell on your own sword, I didn’t have to fire you. Enjoy your stay at St. Mungo’s indefinitely.

Dolores Umbridge

Department: Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: The Ministry of Magic certainly thinks very highly of her and seems to boast a great resume. Her office seems rather well decorated. Acts like a kindly old aunt or grandmother.

Con: Her persona is only a thin veneer covering government corruption at its worst. Once at Hogwarts, she wasted no time turning the school into her own personal fiefdom and running it as a sugar-coated dictator. Forces tyrannical laws on the school to get her own way. Feels that she’s always right and wants her students to just shut up and agree with her. Has been shown to be very abusive toward any student who disagree with her even in the classroom. Speaks to students in a very condescending tone as she views them as her inferiors. Her detentions consist of them writing a sentence several times in their own blood with quills that cut into skin on the backs of their hands. In fact, she relishes in torture. Was so useless teaching her designated subject that students formed their own DADA class in the Room of Requirement as Dumbledore’s Army. Frequently interrupts people with a fake cough. Had Trelawney dismissed from her job without my authorization and later deposed and replaced me as headmaster. There she formed a Inquistorial Squad of Slytherin students as well as used the House Cup Competiton to encourage pupils to report on others. Other than that, almost all school order went to hell since most faculty and staff hated her so much. Has a hatred for centaurs, giants, Muggles, Muggle-borns, half-bloods, and others. Hates children, too. Is willing to condemn a student in the face of all justice and logic, even if it means him using underage magic in a situation she clearly set up in an attempt to silence him on a traumatizing incident he personally witnessed. Participated in an unprovoked attack on two teachers which left one of them in need of serious medical attention. Loves to inflict pain and misery on everyone she can. Has a staggering lack of empathy for victims of her cruelty. Used an Unforgivable curse on one of her students as well as threatened to use Veritiserum as well. Is utterly useless against a herd of centaurs. Is almost universally hated by both students and staff. Shows signs of being a sociopath and a sadist.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Sorry, but I highly recommend that you don’t torture the students. Also, don’t assume that your students are lying, especially if they know more about DADA and Lord Voldemort than you. Don’t anger centaurs.

Grade: F, if Cornelius Fudge didn’t make me hire her, I would’ve never had her at this school in the first place.

Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody

Department: Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: Is a retired Auror and a good friend of mine so his qualifications are without question and he’s a man I can trust with students despite his eccentricities like his rampant paranoia. Expert in Charms, Transfiguration, Defensive Magic, Herbology, and Potions. Takes no slack from whiners but has a soft side as well as impresses those in his charge. Did a good demonstration on the Unforgivable Curses.

Con: Subscribes to the idea that once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. Has a highly disagreeable temperament. Didn’t seem to be himself during his time at Hogwarts because he seemed to have a very large suitcase and tends to drink out of his hip flask every hour or so. Meanwhile, Snape has claimed that someone has been stealing from his ingredient stash to make polyjuice potion. Even Barty Crouch Sr. has some suspicions about him. Makes Slytherins and former Death Eaters very uneasy around him. His unconventional disciplinary methods like turning an obnoxious student into a ferret doesn’t uphold to school standards. Students might be learning the wrong lesson from him.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Don’t use Transfiguration as a punishment to students. Try to cut down on drinking. Be nice to Slytherins, even if they are Death Eater children.

Grade: C+, occasionally effective but wasn’t quite himself in the end. Wonder what lessons these kids might be learning from him.

Remus Lupin

Department: Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: Is an accomplished and skilled wizard with extensive knowledge of dark creatures as well as charismatic. Is pleasant, mild-mannered, and scholarly figure who genuinely cares about the children under his care and is generally-well liked. Was very great with the dementor attacks by calming down utterly traumatized children with chocolate and medicine. Is unfailingly kind and considerate toward everyone as well as somewhat saner than many of his colleagues. Very accessible to his students and actually teaches them what they need to know.

Con: Has a tendency to fall ill and be absent from class during the full moon, which has caused a lot of suspicion. Was willing to help an escaped fugitive on school grounds (who turned out to be innocent, but still). And can be a real monster whenever he forgets to take his medication.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Perhaps subjecting your students and their parents to a werewolf awareness class might help explain you monthly absences. If only the Ministry would allow it.

Grade: A, if it weren’t for Snape outing you as a werewolf and the concerned parents freaking out, I would’ve kept you on. Seriously, your departure was a big loss for our school since you’re the best DADA teacher we’ve had in a long time.

Fillius Flitwick

Department: Charms

Pro: Is one of the nicest teachers as well as cheerful and fair to his students. Great with spells and was once a dueling champion. Even teaches the school choir in his spare time. Gentle demeanor and fierce abilities combine to create a positive learning environment. Also demonstrates great patience.

Con: Has a tendency being victimized by someone’s spell going awry. Classroom often filled with bangs, explosions, and other frightening results of miscast spells.Sometimes can even be sent flying across the classroom. Despite teaching for a long time, does not consider that Ravenclaw’s diadem was in the Room of Requirement for years. Also teaching the front doors to recognize Sirius Black and to instantly lock down if he tries to break in once more has one gaping hole. Also has altered appearance considerably since the Chamber of Secrets incident.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Try to hold your ground. Other than that, I don’t know what else to recommend.

Grade: A, truly an exemplary teacher if there ever was one as well as helps that your subject is among the most important.

Rolanda Hooch

Department: Flying

Pro: Is rather stern and impartial as well as can teach students how to fly on brooms.

Con: Spent a considerable amount of time leaving her students unsupervised which resulted in a bullying incident that wouldn’t have happened under her watch. Also expulsion for flying a broom without her permission? Really?

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Maybe try being less strict, especially since you went gaga over one student’s new Firebolt. Also, if you want to go for a pee do it between periods, not during class (especially if there are Slytherins present).

Grade: B, not bad, but you probably have an easy teaching job anyway.

Quinirinus Quirrell

Department: Muggle Studies/Defense Against the Dark Arts

Pro: He’s a fine teacher while studying from books and was known to have a brilliant mind. Took a year off to get some firsthand experience. Can also be quite perfectly benevolent or so it seems. Warned staff and students about a troll in the dungeon on Halloween.

Con: Was never the same after his European travels though God only knows what went on during that time. But since he has become perpetually nervous as well as developed a stutter and nervous tics. Seems to be scared of his own students as well as his own subject and might come across as incompetent and inconfident. Snape thinks he might be after the Philosopher’s Stone in the basement. Troll was actually terrorizing a student in the girls’ bathroom. Might’ve nearly thrown a student off his broom during a Quidditch match, too. Then there’s the unicorns being slaughtered in the Forbidden Forest since he returned from his European vacation. And who knows what he has under that purple turban of his.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: How about building some self-esteem? Also, perhaps you can stop stuttering. And can you show me the back of your head?

Grade: C, teaching is so-so, but you should not try to expose students to danger.

Horace Slughorn

Department: Potions

Pro: Expert enough in potions that I dragged the man out of a 15 year retirement. A Slytherin who is not obsessed with blood purity and takes more to enlightened self-interest. Is willing to help his most favored students succeed. Doesn’t bully or abuse his students which makes him quite serviceable that some students demonstrated such aptitude for the first time. Is an expert fighter and extremely talented wizard.

Con: Plays favorites with his students and singles out those who are famous or well-connected for special treatment. Can be somewhat dismissive to those who fail to catch his attention. Not so above the muggle-born prejudice though he tries to prove he’s not. Also, he once discussed the idea of horcruxes with the wrong Slytherin student. Thinks students he’s helped owes him a favor though he tends to be too lazy to take advantage of this beyond asking for free concert tickets and sweets. In addition, vicarious ambition does have a dark side.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Try not to see muggle-borns as significantly less talented as their pureblood counterparts since you have had exceptional muggle born students before. Oh, and sometimes it helps to keep some lessons to yourself, especially if the student asking the question happens to be descended from Salazar Slytherin as well as has the potential to become one of the most notorious dark wizards of our time.

Grade: B-, though you are a great teacher that I had to drag out of retirement, it was worth it. However, I’m never going to let you live your horcrux explanation to Riddle down. Never.

Firenze

Department: Divination

Pro: Never says a single harsh word to anyone. Seems more knowledgeable in his field than Trelawney at times and calls her out on her methods. Is more friendly to humans than some of his kind and in his herd. Can take some insulting comment rather well than those in his species. At least honest in acknowledging that Divination is inexact and open to interpretation, with his brand being based on stargazing.

Con: Has a view and perspective that’s hard for students to understand. Also, is the subject of disparaging comments from many parents on letting a half horse man teaching a class.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Perhaps trying to explain the centaur Divination point of view to your students might be better. Also, maybe you should do something to raise centaur awareness so parents would be more comfortable with you.

Grade: A, I was right about you being an “acceptable” replacement though Umbridge failed to get the joke.

16. Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank

Department: Care of the Magical Creatures (substitute basis)

Pro: Lessons are often age appropriate and is not prone to outbursts. Also, doesn’t risks any of her limbs for the sake of creature education. Threstral lesson was good and highly informative. Even praises Hagrid on his threstral care. Liked by everyone and even trusted to treat owls. Overall is a competent teacher who makes her lessons enjoyable to students

Con: Hiring her to teach the subject permanently with Hagrid wouldn’t be cheap. Also, there is some worth in teaching about more dangerous creatures though it’s generally not advisable. And she smokes a pipe in front of the kids.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Can’t think of anything save perhaps quitting smoking. Really doesn’t set a great example to the students.

Grade: A-, sorry we can’t hire you on a permanent basis, but it’s just on in our budget. Besides, Hagrid only earns a gamekeeper’s salary anyway.

17. Silvanus Kettleburn

Department: Care of the Magical Creatures

Pro: Had great affection from the staff and students during his career. Displayed great enthusiasm for his subject. Also active in student theater.

Con: Is an occasionally reckless man whose great love of the dangerous magical creatures he studied and looked after often resulted in serious injuries not only to himself but also to others. Is prone to underestimating the risks involved to caring for creatures such as Occamys, Grindylows and Fire Crabs. This led to no fewer than 62 probation periods, a record that still stands. Once set off a major fire in the Great Hall after enchanting an Ashwinder to play the Worm in “The Fountain of Fair Fortune.” Also, visits dragon sanctuaries in his spare time.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Perhaps you can practice safety in your lessons because if you keep up with this, you might finish your career with an arm and half a leg. And those wooden prosthetics I gave you don’t come cheap, which you keep having set on fire during your visits to dragon sanctuaries.

Grade: C-, all your lessons should come with a public safety disclaimer like “Don’t Try this at Home.” Also, you might want to consider retiring before you end up killing yourself.

18. Irma Pince

Department: Library

Pro: Apparently, shows dedication to her job and does not take damaged books lightly.

Con: Has been known to be unpleasant to the students, especially if they’ve either brought food in the library or doodled in the books. One incidence had her yelling at two students as well as enchanting their things to chase them out as well as whack them over their heads repeatedly as they ran. Has placed dozens of curses on the books should they be mistreated, stolen, or vandalized. I myself even made such mistake by doodling in one and found the book trying to beat me on the head. But I still can’t guarantee whether I gotten off all the curses of Quidditch Through the Ages future readers might be holding. Has been very unhelpful to students and tends to scream at them.

Areas/Suggestions for Improvement: Though I’m aware of library policies, perhaps you should at least loosen up a bit because students are scared to death of you. Also remember students aren’t the only ones who read your precious library books.

Grade: B-, while I have to admire your dedication, you have some major personality issues.

Pomp and Circumstance on Graduation Memories

Posted by historymaniacmegan on April 8, 2016

Here am I standing with me and my parents and sister Molly at my graduation from Yough High School in June 2008. I was thinking about putting my sister’s picture. But I decided against it because I already put her high school graduation picture in my Father’s Day post.

As the school year winds down to a close, so comes graduation season where all seniors prepare to say goodbye and face the world years of education prepared them for. Since I’m a 2008 graduate of Yough High School as well as a 2012 graduate of Saint Vincent College, I can say I’ve been down the commencement cap and gown road twice in my life. Such experience is bittersweet for me since while I have gotten a sense of accomplishment that years of committing to my education have paid off, I also feel a bit sad that I miss the place and the people. But perhaps there’s always a trade off. After all, receiving your college degree is a proud moment even though it means you’ll have years of struggle to pay for your student loans. Nevertheless, graduations usually consists of students entering in procession dressed in their caps and gowns as each one is called to receive their degree. There’s usually a commencement speaker giving a few remarks for the graduates as well as other performances. It’s quite an elaborate ceremony. It’s kind of funny at my high school graduation, we had our state senator at the time Bob Regola who kind of got in trouble for perjury after his kid and a neighbor were involved in some firearms mishap that killed the latter. The guy was later forced to resign. Yet, while there are many graduations that consist of wonderful ceremonies, some don’t always go as well as planned. And for your pleasure, I show a treasure trove of photos pertaining to the not so savory sentiments of graduation.

Guess someone is questioning their degree’s worth already.

As you’ll see, some grads decorate their caps in unique ways. I suppose “B.S.” either stands for bullshit or Bachelor in Science.

2. At graduation, you never know what people are wearing under their gowns.

I guess these women are from some state like California or Hawaii. Because I don’t think I could wear a swimsuit under my cap and gown.

3. Seems like some people are excited that they’ve graduated.

I think these guys are from China. Still, all seem to have their gown blowing with one jumping into the air.

4. Seems like someone is happy with their advanced degree.

I think this might be someone’s dad in his kid’s cap and gown. And it’s probably done as a joke. Pretty funny.

5. Apparently, not everyone is basking in the glories of their graduation.

Either that, or the girl doesn’t like having her picture taken. That, or she was doing a photo bomb.

6. This guy made it and has the diploma and picture to show for it.

However, you have to wonder about his school’s colors. Maroon? Please. Still, love his goofy grin.

7. Now I can fully understand why this person went to college.

Also, Hogwarts is a school for wizarding youth ages 11-18. Perhaps being a Muggle at 18 was a factor as well.

8. Dobby has graduated. Dobby is freed.

Yes, these caps are very creative. Who knew that Dobby needed a diploma to be freed from the Malfoys? Oh, wait he needed a sock.

9. Those who graduate are more likely to have their life on the right track.

However, this girl isn’t one of them because she’s standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. Seriously, she’s putting herself at a very dangerous risk of being mangled and run over.

10. Being photographed with your parents in your cap and gown is always a proud moment.

At least for this dad who just can’t resist embarrassing his son one last time. Yes, that will do it.

11. Sure you nearly flunked but at least you made it.

I don’t know about you. But I’m sure this guy isn’t going to be college material for receiving a 1.9. But at least he didn’t flunk.

12. Remember, graduates, processions always take one step at a time.

And it seems this girl tripped during “Pomp and Circumstance.” Still, this place kind of reminds me of my high school stadium, except the stands are significantly lower.

13. Posing with your family at graduation is always a highlight.

And it seems that this young woman has an interesting family worthy of a sitcom. You have to wonder what her life is like at home.

14. Of course, if it’s your sibling’s graduation, you might hate them for getting all the attention.

Can’t this boy at least try to be happy for his sister? Yes, it’s her day. But he’ll get his time in a few years. Trust me.

15. Some graduates make better entrances than others.

And it seems like this girl embarrassed herself by falling flat on her face to receive her diploma. I’m sure she’s going to be well remembered for years.

16. I guess this person managed to graduate by a nose.

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, or carriage rides?

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, racing, or carriage rides?

17. Oh, great, some major dick has to screw it up for everyone and get all the attention.

I’m sure the parents with small children had a very tough time explaining this moment. Seriously, who the hell crashes a graduation in a dick costume? Then again, there’s that one college in Rhode Island that has a mascot named Scrotie.

18. Remember, after receiving your diploma, watch yourself on your way out.

And it seems like someone tripped and fell as they were leaving the stage. Of course, this is the third trip picture I posted already.

19. I guess these two guys were known to be quite the party animals.

Because how else could they have beer pongs on their caps? Wonder what their parents are thinking.

20. At high schools, it’s always a custom for the valedictorian and the salutatorian to give a speech during the ceremony.

However, we’re not sure if cue cards are used or not. Then again, someone was probably playing a prank.

21. You can guess what this person is doing after graduation.

And yes, I feel for that person. Mostly because I haven’t been able to get a steady income that could pay for mine.

22. While black men have it better as graduates, this doesn’t always curb their incarceration rates.

Introduce young black boys to Hamilton and they’re off getting arrested for spontaneously bursting into song and dance routines on the streets. Yes, musical theater is a real menace in the African American community these days.

23. Yes, tell them what it really cost you.

Man, $200,000 for a college education. I took out less than that on student loans and I’m still struggling to pay them.

24. Now they received an education, they couldn’t care less about their school these days.

Yes, throw your caps as your school that provided your education smolders behind you. You bastards.

25. Sometimes cap designs can get quite elaborate.

This woman has a computer box and a piggy bank on hers. How she keeps her head up, I have no idea.

26. That’s an interesting graduation cap there.

Wonder why this girl opted for a Nike swoosh instead of a conventional graduation cap square. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed more.

27. Guess someone plans to watch something scary after the commencement ceremony.

Yes, I could say American Horror Story Student Loans is a very scary series. This is especially when you have bad social skills and have to do job interviews.

28. After commencement, it helps for some to take a rest.

And it seems these people prefer to take a nap on a tree. Let’s not disturb them.

29. So I guess some colleges do have mixed martial arts majors.

This is from China and is probably photoshopped. Nevertheless, I’m sure some grads dreamed of pulling this one off.

30. At some commencements, there’s always someone who needs a little extra to get by.

Let’s hope this is a college graduation. Still, I think this guy with the bottle might have a problem.

31. This girl always wondered why no one saw her haircut.

Maybe because she wore a headscarf all the time as a practicing Muslim. That could explain a lot.

32. That moment when you realize when you need to pay those loans for obedience school.

Okay, I don’t think it’s the dog’s graduation. But that look in the cap and gown is so priceless.

33. While most grads are covered in their caps and gowns, some show up in their birthday suit.

So I guess wacky graduation hijinks are nothing new. Wonder what this guy’s parents thought about his stunt when he received his diploma.

34. Guess this guy is now graduated from college.

However, you’d think a graduate from NC State would know how to use proper grammar. It’s “I am” not “I is.”

35. Congratulations on your graduation and here is your AK-47.

I’m thinking this is in Africa, but I don’t want to be stereotypical. Oh wait, I just was. Still, the AK-47s don’t give me hope here.

36. Some grads wished to build a little world in one little place.

This one seems to have a little house built on his cap. Guess he couldn’t resist his creative impulses.

37. Congratulations, graduate, and may the Force be with you.

I’m sure these grads will treasure this moment forever. Guess there was a Star Wars convention in their town at the time.

38. I’m sure the grads aren’t looking forward to their graduation surprise.

I don’t think I’d want to have water dumped on me at my graduation. Then again, this is probably from a different country.

39. This is a big day for this Imperial Stormtrooper.

Sure he’s a terrible shot. But at least he managed to get an education so he could contribute to society in a different way.

40. Not sure if I’d want to know what’s under his gown.

I guess these girls were in for a disturbing surprise. Then again, it’s probably staged as a joke.

41. Sometimes it all takes one guy in the background can ruin your Kodak moment.

You have to wonder whether this picture was taken on a digital camera. Because I don’t think whoever took this picture noticed the guy mooning behind this girl.

42. Well, I guess this guy’s future is ruined.

But at least the cops were nice enough to wait and let him graduate before taking him. You have to respect that at least.

43. I think that this girl isn’t from the most happy families.

Then again, perhaps the people behind these two were in an argument. You know how stuff like this goes.

44. This car has a graduate on bored.

Maybe a bored graduate. However, it should be “graduate on board.” Ever heard of homonyms?

45. During boring commencement speeches, it helps if you have something to bide the time.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, she needs a straw hat for cover.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, the straw hat is for cover.

46. Okay, what’s that sticking out of that guy’s cap?

I think it’s a diorama of some sort. But it sure sticks out like a sore thumb to me.

47. I’m guessing this person is anxious about employment prospects.

Sure I feel for this person since I’ve struggled to get a job for a long time. And it doesn’t seem to end.

48. For graduates, group photos are always a custom.

Of course, don’t mind the guy behind you. And yes, that face is quite strange and a bit creepy.

49. Families are always there to celebrate our precious moments whether we want them to or not.

Yeah, I think this girl just captured what a lot of us think about our families sometimes. Because they usually are the people in our lives we can’t avoid.

50. Seems like the cows have gone to pasture on her cap.

So she made her graduation cap into a pasture diorama. Interesting.

51. “But I don’t want to go into the real world, it’s scary out there.”

Then again, he might either be scared or just wants to sneeze. Not sure which.

52. Congratulations on your graduation, lady terrorists?

Sorry to offend anyone here but it's not what you'd think. It's actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don't mix.

Sorry to offend anyone here but it’s not what you’d think it is. It’s actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don’t mix.

53. I’m sure this guy will be ready when he has to take his cap off.

Then again, I’m sure he’s using his remote control to light up the cap. And he probably has no intention taking it off.

54. For her graduation photo, nothing could do better than the Bard.

Sure she might like Shakespeare. But she might just be sucking up to her drama teacher. Not sure which.

55. After commencement it helps to get out of your gowns to relax.

And it seems that this women didn’t have a lot on them when they received their diplomas. Still, at least their underwear matches.

56. He just had to have a cap in his likeness.

Not sure what to think about this. Seems like his picture has him spurting blue stuff down his nose. But at least they’ll know it’s his when he throws it up.

57. Congratulations, it’s a graduate!

What the fuck got these guy to do something like this? This is just incredibly crazy if you ask me.

58. I give this graduation 2 thumbs up.

Seems like he’s trying to be enthusiastic. But he doesn’t seem that way. At least as I can tell.

59. Yes, graduation is a highly emotional time.

This is especially if you’re Carrot Top receiving his diploma from an orange face man. Yes, it’s quite a time.

60. I think this cap explains a lot about recent grads.

Well, I didn’t have any idea of what I was doing either. Sometimes I still don’t.

61. Wonder what this valedictorian has to say in his speech.

Hey, that’s Weird Al Yankovic giving his valedictorian speech. And yes, he’s as weird now as he was then. But he’s one of the most successful musical comedy artists of all time.

62. I guess this girl expects to be seated with dumbasses.

How else could I have guessed? Guess “I’m with Stupid” is a dead giveaway.

63. Each school tends to have their own traditions.

And apparently, this guy’s school tends to photograph their graduates with a lei of pot. Or so it looks like it.

64. When it comes to graduation, these soldiers are always alert.

Apparently, not. Yes, these are of the military who are trained to combat enemy fire. But they can’t seem to keep themselves awake during a commencement speech.

65. Sometimes the cap doesn’t always fit in with the hairstyle.

I hope this kid either gets a job at some punk rock locale, design studio, or tattoo parlor. Because I don’t think a regular office would hire him.

66. At some graduations, the weather gets more attention if it takes place outdoors.

Well, seems like there could be a tornado in their midst. Apparently, the strange thing about this is that it’s in New Jersey.

67. As far as caps are concerned, sometimes it’s hard to fit your hair in it.

Yes, 1980s hair and a square cap don’t go well together. And yes, this looks pretty awkward indeed.

68. When it comes to graduation parties, some people tend to multi-task.

Well, at least Cortney got her education out of the way. Because she’s gonna need it where she’s going.

69. In Russia, some grads are transported through a shopping cart.

Well, as far as Russians are concerned, this isn’t that crazy. Still pretty funny.

70. Sometimes there are those who can’t stay awake during a boring speech.

Whether he’d be up when they call his name is the question. Hope he is so he could make his parents proud.

Memorable Senior Portaits from Bygone High School Days

Posted by historymaniacmegan on April 7, 2016

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No, this isn’t my senior picture. But it’s a picture of me and my sister Molly, on our first day of the last year we went to the same school together. Here I am a senior in high school while my sister is a freshman.

Sure senior picture season is over and has been since they do them in the fall. However, graduation season will be upon us before you know it so I might as well do some posts pertaining to that. Nevertheless, when you’re in high school, your senior year is usually seen as particularly special since your class occupies the leadership roles in student organizations as well as have events dedicated to you like Homecoming Court, Senior Night, and all that stuff. One of the big traditions for senior high school students is the senior picture. Traditionally, these pictures were used for the yearbook and still are (as was mine). However, there are plenty of seniors and their families who tend to be a little creative with some of their photoshoots. After all, my cousins Josh and Nick have senior pictures that seem rather specialized as they hang at my Aunt Mary’s house. But since my parents are cheap and didn’t like the studio my school district hired, we decided to go to a professional photographer for mine at Target even though the pictures didn’t turn out so right either. Let’s just say I wasn’t the most photogenic girl at the time. Still, at least I didn’t have a senior portrait that was too embarrassing unlike these I’m about to show. And yes, I had to go through the ends of the Internet to find them. So for your reading pleasure here are some undignified senior photos whose sitters would rather forget.

“Say hello to my lizard friends.”

Sure they’re not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they’re not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.

2. Hey, I didn’t know that Hulk Hogan was in track and field.

Okay, it’s not Hulk Hogan. It’s just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it’s unsightly.

3. A lot of student athletes try to put their game into their senior picture. Not sure what his sport is.

So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he’s in that uses these things. Oh wait, he’s in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.

4. Sometimes a football star has absolutely nothing to hide.

Well, he’s in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.

5. When it comes to hoops, this guy is willing to dunk it for the Elks.

Nevertheless, he’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren’t part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.

6. When he pitches, he throws a ball of fire.

Let’s just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it’s photoshop but still.

7. Seems like the guys from the water polo team are totally ripped.

I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don’t think they’re very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they’re looking at each other.

8. She’s just a girl from the railroad tracks.

Who shouldn’t be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn’t she ever have a clue?

9. Even student athletes need their bath time.

Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he’s in a tub that’s way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he’s wearing a speedo.

10. Nothing makes a senior girl glow with pride than posing with her own hunting rifle.

And let’s hope it’s not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.

11. When riding a motorcycle to prom, always wear a helmet.

I’m sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he’s rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.

12. Seems like this cowpoke likes going for horsey rides.

Well, he’s on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he’s bound to inspire nightmares.

13. Just a few more steps and he passes the high school finish line.

And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.

14. Seems like he likes to hustle when he’s not playing ball.

And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.

15. “Hey girls, gather round, listen to what I’m putting down./Hey babe, I’m your handy man.”

“I’m not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I’m handy with love and I’m no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./
If your broken heart should need repair, then I’m the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they’ll come running to me.” Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.

16. Couple pictures are also a rather common senior picture motif.

Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he’s just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I’ve listened to too much Warren Zevon.

17. There are some kids who’d like nothing but sit and read in nature.

However, doing so with antique furniture doesn’t seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.

18. Guess this guy is going bananas.

Well, he’s with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.

19. Kids these days, always into themselves.

And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.

20. “Hello, my cat can eat bread.”

Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.

21. “Oh, no, I got to go in there to save my rooster.”

Okay, it’s a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he’s not right in the head at the moment.

22. “Come on baby, light my fire/Come on baby, light my fire/Try to set the night on fire”

Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.

23. Nothing initiates senior pride like having your picture with your prized gourd.

Now that’s one of the biggest gourds I’ve ever seen. And this guy is like, “Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer.”

24. Nothing makes a senior portrait than a couple of mustaches.

Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you’d see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.

25. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Pumpkin Man.

And I sure hope that he’s wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn’t want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.

26. A senior football star bares all.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he's wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more if I find that he's actually 17.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he’s wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more that I hope he’s 18.

27. Of course, a tough ginger always has to pose with his gun.

Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.

28. With this guy, it’s John Deere parking only.

So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.

29. When this guy gets out of school, he’s gonna be working on a road crew.

Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I’ve ever seen. Guess he’s a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.

30. When he touches the pigskin, it lights on fire.

That means he’s probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can’t play football.

31. Within this boy lies a large ferocious beast.

However, you wouldn’t know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.

32. My, what small hands he has.

Okay, those are doll hands he’s using. And let’s face it, for a handsome guy like him, it’s kind of creepy.

33. “When I grow up, I want to be a welder before making a career change to a nightclub dancer.”

“What a feeling/Being’s believing/I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life” Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.

34. As he dresses in black and chains so does his chihuahua.

This would’ve made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.

35. “Okay, just a few more seconds.”

Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he’s hot stuff doesn’t he?

36. Of course, even future dominatrixes had to have attended high school.

She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o’ nine tails. But the school wouldn’t allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.

37. “What? What’s wrong with bathing in furs and a tiara?”

Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it’s weird. But who are we to judge.

38. This senior is feeling just ducky under the weather.

Wouldn’t be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn’t Ernie.

39. When it comes to senior pictures, there are some guys who really know how to dress.

Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don’t think it’s a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.

40. I guess this guy wants to be a firefighter to get on a calendar.

Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I’m not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.

41. This guy seems pretty handy with picking up limbs.

However, he’s certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they’re not practical.

42. This football player knows how to get his game on fire.

Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it’s fairly going overboard.

43. You know they say, a dog is man’s best friend.

Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

44. When it comes to video games, this guy is playing on top of his Game Boy Advance.

This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.

45. As we all know, jamming on guitars always looks cool.

Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn’t look good.

46. Sure she didn’t go to Hogwarts but she wanted her senior picture taken in Gryffindor garb.

Yes, she’s more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.

47. A true warrior always has to have a horse.

Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that’s just crazy. Seriously, that’s insane.

48. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this log for you.”

Don’t worry, she’s just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She’s not going to kill anyone with it.

49. Once Vince is out of high school, he plans on joining the family business.

He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who’s living in Arizona he hasn’t seen in years.

50. In her camo dress, this country girl holds her hunting rifle with pride.

I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It’s ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.

51. This guy would dive anywhere for a buck.

And yes, he’d even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy’s insane.

52. During a dark and stormy day, this senior is ready to rip.

Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn’t help that he’s wearing a White Castle tank top either.

53. A guy like this is bound to set a woman’s heart on fire.

Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I’ve seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.

54. In the morning, this young man takes his Life.

Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he’d rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.

55. It’s not uncommon for seniors to have their photos with their cars. Not sure if it was a good idea for this guy.

I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy’s ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.

56. For this senior, Monster energy drinks give him a boost.

Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they’re very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don’t drink these things.

57. Who says that real men don’t wear pink?

Sure there’s no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.

58. When it comes to this guy, there’s nothing better than wearing a furry hat and listening to his toy tape recorder.

Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.

59. For this guy, his hustling tome is playing in the pool halls.

Yes, he’s a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.

60. In couple’s portraits, some have more class than others.

Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I’m happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.

61. For senior year, welcome to Senior Avenue.

And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.

62. Some guys seem to enjoy the finer things in life.

Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s still less gay than the one with the water polo players.

63. This track star wants you to see him race against a car.

I’m sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.

64. Sometimes all you need to lounge on a divan with a bottle.

Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.

65. There’s nothing that rings in senior year than sharing a drink with your dog.

Let’s hope there’s no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie? And why does he have a monocle?

66. When he swings, his bat catches flames.

I don’t think you’d want a burning bat. Because it’s not a bat. It’s a torch.

67. By senior year, we should understand that warning labels exist for a reason.

For the love of God, kid, don’t pull down the lever! It’s high voltage and you’ll get electrocuted.

68. A high school senior like him is both armed and dangerous.

I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.

69. How about a picture of a sexy organ grinder?

And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren’t much better to pose with. Since they’ve fallen out of regular use for decades.

70. A man like him always has a bottle of Nivea on his mind.

So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.

71. Nothing makes a more proud senior moment than sitting on an easy chair with a chainsaw on your lap.

Okay, I’m sure this kid is just into power tools. He’ll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.

72. Of course, you have one senior girl who’s proud to be a cheerleader.

Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn’t a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn’t seem appropriate for a senior picture.

73. While some girls are on the cheerleading squad, others do other things to attract more fish in the sea.

In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net. Guess her name is Downeaster Alexa and is the kind of girl who works with a rod and a reel. Okay, I listen to too much Billy Joel.

74. When it comes to reptiles, this guy likes his snakes.

Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it’s because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.

75. “Hey, want to go snorkeling with me?”

Apparently, he’d rather do it in a tuxedo. And I’m sure it’s not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.

76. “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”

I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let’s hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.

77. While Jesus walks on water, this guy does crunches on it.

Well, maybe he’s crawling, not crunching. And I’m sure he’s not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.

78. Seems like this boy is looking out from a well.

Hope he’s careful and doesn’t fall in there. But I’m sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don’t want to be trapped in a well. You really don’t.

79. A scenic shot is always optimal for a senior picture.

Apparently, they didn’t get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, “rain.”

80. They always said she was a down home type.

However, she’s had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I’m not sure if she’s able to reach any of them.

81. This guy can never go without his own graphing calculator.

I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.

82. Sometimes doing a handstand is as good idea on paper than in reality.

Yeah, I don’t think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don’t know much about break dancing.

83. Nothing is more tender than a photo of a senior and her dog.

Except her dog really isn’t enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.

84. Nothing creates a better feel than a senior picture on the streets.

Uh, I don’t think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.

85. Someday this senior wishes to drive a Mercedes Benz.

However, he’s not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don’t think he’s ever going to drive a Mercedes.

86. You know what they say about a guy who plays lacrosse.

Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he’s wearing a speedo at this moment.

87. There are always some people who never stop dreaming.

And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there’s no way in hell you’re going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.

88. Steven always dresses sharp and is always on cue.

I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.

89. In car photos, perhaps a face is best reflected from a side mirror.

However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.

90. In some senior photos, there are some who have no taste in fashion.

I don’t know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?

91. There is no picturesque scene than a waterfall.

However, I’m not sure about this one. And I hope he’s wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That’s disturbing.

92. Introducing the legendary Kinex warrior.

Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn’t one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.

93. This guy always knows how to pack a punch.

However, I’m not sure whether he’s punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn’t seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?

94. Of course, let’s hope this kid doesn’t suffer from his rusty mail.

Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.

95. Sometimes Michael has to bring on the style.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV’s Jersey Shore. Because that’s a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.

96. This girl might have a Pez addiction.

Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they’re quite nasty.

97. This guy’s music is bound to set the night on fire.

However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don’t work that way.

98. After graduation, this girl is Ivy League bound.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.

99. When it comes to hairstyles, some are beyond description.

Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat’s nest on steroids.

100. When it comes to pets, this guy really has it in for his cat.

So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: School

NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise (Second Edition)

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire (Second Edition)

NCAA Championship Worthy College Sports Treats

Not Licensed By the NCAA College Athletic Craft Projects

NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise

College Sports Fans Dressed in School Spirit Attire

Students Say the Darnedest Things

Hogwarts Teacher Evaluations by Albus Dumbledore

Pomp and Circumstance on Graduation Memories

Memorable Senior Portaits from Bygone High School Days