NCAA College Athlete Exploiting Merchandise (Second Edition)

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Now it’s on to college merchandise. You know the overpriced stuff colleges and the NCAA makes money on but the athletes don’t really get any royalties off of. Most of the time you will find college sports crap sold at campus stores. But if it’s Division I, then you’ll find plenty of local stores carrying college stuff at a cheaper price. And even then, it’ll carry the teams most popular in the area. For instance, the Wal Mart stores in my area usually sell Division I merchandise pertaining to Pitt, Penn State, and WVU since they’re nearby and the most popular. Most of the NCAA sports crap you might see usually consists of apparel with the school’s logo on it along with a few other things. But most of the time, colleges will sell their fan anything that will give them money, no matter how ridiculous. And as I can testify, there is not shortage of collegiate sports craziness in merchandise. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of weird college merch from the NCAA.

  1. Be a Fightin’ Irish on the grill with this Notre Dame burger flipper.

That way, you can demonstrate your grilling skills against Touchdown Jesus. Then again, you might get a better flipper at a lower price.

2. A Notre Dame drag along cooler always keeps food and drinks fresh.

Comes with pockets and a zipper. Great for storing cans at a tailgate party. Could probably buy a cheaper plain version at Wal Mart.

3. This Penn State crock pot is great for tailgating fare.

After all, you need something to keep the chili warm in Happy Valley. Though a plain one works better at a lower price.

4. For a more rustic setting, may I suggest this Notre Dame basket cooler?

Man, seems like they have all kinds of cooler types out there. Can’t really understand this one.

5. Enjoy your ride to the stadium in this Mizzou Tiger car.

That might be school property and thus not for sale. Still, since it’s helmet shape, I’ll put it on the post.

6. For long travels, hop along the Kentuck U Express.

Sure it’s not exactly merchandise. But it’s one of the last things you’d expect to see a Kentucky Wildcats logo on.

7. Nothing makes your steak taste great like Penn State steak sauce.

Yes, it exists. I know it’s ridiculous. But I’m sure it’s the only steak sauce you can use at State College.

8. At Columbus, Ohio State high heeled shoes are the latest craze

Though you’d more likely want to wear sneakers at the stadium. Just because you’ll do a lot of walking.

9. Carry your drinks to the game with this Penn State bottle tote.

Has room for 6. Though you can also carry them in a cooler which would be even better.

10. Stun the stadium with these University of Kentucky jeweled flip flops.

I don’t see the point of these. They seem more appropriate for summer, which isn’t during football or basketball season.

11. No man cave is complete without a line of Pitt lamps.

Or woman cave, not that we should judge. Comes in wood, brass, and metal.

12. Enjoy the big game with this WVU end table cooler.

Now you can put it on a stand and use it to get drinks while you watch the game. You can probably find one cheaper at Wal Mart without the logo.

13. Now you can serve drinks at your own Florida Gator bar.

Comes with an umbrella, cooler, and stools. Great for a tailgating beach party but not near actual gators.

14. Grace your holidays with this Michigan State Santa on Sousaphone.

And I see there’s an elf inside the Sousaphone. Of course, in marching band, he’ll have to find some way to get around the presents.

15. If you want to know the time, humidity and temperature, perhaps this clock from Penn State can show you.

Yes, it’s a rather sophisticated clock. But you can probably get it cheaper if you remove the Nittany Lion logo.

16. Support your Hawkeyes with an Iowa dog sweater.

Because this isn’t about keeping your dog warm. It’s about you projecting your tastes to your dog.

17. Keep warm at Happy Valley with this Nittany Lion hat.

That looks terrifying and more or less resembles a bear. But it’s said to be rather fuzzy.

18. You can’t have a tailgate party without some Penn State salsa.

Penn State salsa? Seriously? What’s with using college logos for foot? Because that’s utterly ridiculous.

19. Every Penn State fan must have this commemorative desk statue of Joe Paterno.

On second thought, chances are he knew at least something about what Jerry Sandusky was doing. So maybe you might want to reconsider.

20. Enjoy hours of fun with some Notre Dame foosball.

Like anyone needs a foosball table anyway. Seriously, you’re better off spending your money on something else.

21. Raise a glass to your college team with your Penn State wine glass.

Even has indictors to gauge your mood by how much you drink. Beware if it’s almost full.

22. This Notre Dame holder will keep your pool sticks in check.

I’m sure a regular one would be cheaper. Besides, seems more suited for a bar.

23. The birds will be mighty fine with this Ohio State birdhouse.

Though the birds won’t find any buckeye nuts here. Just seed.

24. Your little one would love to curl up with this light up Oregon Duck.

Yes, I’m sure it makes a cuddly plushie which lights the room with stars and the logo. But the Oregon Ducks still have a mascot that resembles Donald Duck from Disney.

25. Keep warm during the winter with a pair of Nittany Lion mittens.

Okay, those look kind of creepy. Seriously, Penn State, how about gloves that just have the logo. I think everyone would be fine with that.

26. Kick back and relax in the great outdoors in this LSU bench.

It’s in purple and yellow for the Tigers. And it’ll certainly grab attention from onlookers.

27. A fairy princess should always have her WVU wand and crown.

Guess the NCAA will do anything to appeal to young girls. Though given that WVU is home to the Mountaineers, denim dress seems more appropriate.

28. Penn State cuff links make any suit look flashy.

Though they might seem unprofessional at a business meeting. So perhaps they’d be better as a collector’s item.

29. You can always be comfortable at the office in an LSU swivel chair.

Kind of loud colors for office furniture. Maybe better suited for a home office.

30. This Pitt pet bed is the ultimate den for your 4-legged friend on March Madness.

Though Pitt men’s basketball hasn’t been doing too well lately. Though that’s a nice replica of the Petersen your dog will ultimately destroy.

31. Always decorate for the occasion with some WVU holiday flags.

Got two for Christmas and one for Halloween and the 4th of July. Strange one of them doesn’t depict a burning couch.

32. Spend evenings lounging around this Ohio State campfire pit.

Great for the well made patio. Has a big “O” in the middle to indicate where to light the fire.

33. A wheeled cooler is perfect for cooling drinks for Florida State fans.

This one looks like it was made. But make sure to put ice in there first.

34. For Christmas, you can’t do without a set of Arizona Wildcats Nutcrackers.

Since when do they have nutcrackers for college teams? This is crazy. At least a Ohio State one would make more sense.

35. Be the hit on campus in this Ohio State car.

Resembles a car from Hot Wheels. But looks pretty real. Not sure why anyone would buy it.

36. Enhance your living room with this Mizzou Tiffany lamp.

Sure itm ight seem a bit old fashioned. But if you like your Tigers enough, you’ll probably want it.

37. Spice up your food with some Penn State hot sauce.

Since there’s nothing spicier than watching your Nittany Lions. And anything you put your hot sauce on.

38. Dress your little leprechaun in these Fightin’ Irish bootie socks.

Yes, show your baby your love for the Irish and harmful Irish stereotypes at the same time. Yeah, Notre Dame needs to sort out its priorities.

39. Raise a toast to the Vols with this Tennessee chalice.

Okay, it’s more of a decorative item than an actual cup. And it stands on wood. Still, I find it rather tacky.

40. Tee up on the links with your Nittany Lion golf clubs.

That being said, golf is lame sport for rich people. Even if in the Nittany Lion guise. And I think this set costs an arm and a leg.

41. This Cinci Bearcat theater seat brings great comfort in your home.

Though it’s not as great as watching it on a recliner. Also, probably costs more than a La-Z-Boy.

42. Nothing makes stuffed pretzels irresistible like Penn State dipping mustard.

Dipping mustard? From a jar? Why can’t you just squeeze the mustard from the bottle and put it on your plate? That’s what most people do.

43. Take a cue at this Ohio State pool table.

Pool tables are already expensive and hard to move. I suppose this one would cost an arm and a leg.

44. Your living room is never complete without an Iowa Hawkeyes glass table.

It has a glass top and a shelf that resembles a football field. Very breakable and very expensive. Don’t recommend it for families with young children.

45. Kick back on the porch in your very own Ohio State swing.

Even contains cup holders so you can enjoy a drink or two. Though it’s not like the swing in my backyard at all.

46. Fire it up with your very own University of Kentucky grill.

After all, what’s a game without anything barbequed? Of course, a non-Kentucky grill would be cheaper.

47. Boise State Wing Dip is perfect for any Bronco wings.

Yes, Boise State’s team is the Broncos. I know it’s confusing since they share the same colors as Denver. But there you are.

48. Go to the game in style at Baton Rouge in an LSU Tiger bus.

Okay, it’s more of a trailer or RV. But it’s in purple and yellow stripes. Yikes!

49. Spend hours of fun with these Oregon video game controllers.

Both are green with the Oregon logo. You could probably get regular video game controls for less money though.

50. A WVU glass set goes great in your china closet.

Yes, the glass is pretty. But c’mon, most of you would rather have your bottles with flowers than a WVU logo. Yet, I could be wrong.

51. Keep your grill safe from the elements with this Notre Dame cover.

Then again, you can get a grill cover at Lowe’s or Home Depot for cheap. Doesn’t have to have the Notre Dame logo on it.

52. Got loose change? How about an Ohio State piggy bank.

Has a buckeye nut necklace and is decked with leaves. Got to like the red snout and ears.

53. Have hours of fun with some Notre Dame Yahtzee.

Has the Fightin’ Irish logo on the box. So you can roll the dice in the cup as long as you’d like.

54. Keep your golf clubs safe with these Ohio State covers.

Yes, I know I put the Penn State golf set before. But this one just shows the covers with the Ohio State logo.

55. Serve some drinks for guests with this University of Kentucky dispenser.

It’s a small ceramic striped container with stripes and a spotted lid. Not sure if it holds much of anything.

56. Watch the game together in these Penn State couples’ chairs.

Because the couple who watches games together stays together. Also, “Ms.” would’ve been more appropriate than “Mrs.”

57. Entice your guests at the big game with this Ohio State casserole dish.

Or “Game Day Kickasserole” which is better than casserole to some people. But please, a plain one would be cheaper.

58. An LSU baby should sleep in a crib like this.

This one has stadium padding. Think this is kind of pushing it. But I’m sure some fans would want to put their baby in this.

59. No Louisiana garden should be without a LSU bird bath.

It’s just a dish with a stand. Sure it looks pretty. But wait until the birds start shitting on it.

60. Eat your snacks while you watch the Mountaineers with this WVU chair tray.

Kind of wish I had one myself. Though I wouldn’t watch sports games using it. And it wouldn’t have a sports logo on it.

61. Keep your drinks cold with your very own Penn State mini fridge.

There are a few of these in different styles. But this one has the name on the side.

62. Ring in the holiday spirit with an LSU Santa hat.

It’s purple with the LSU letters and tiger logo along with holly. Great for any fan of LSU for the holidays.

63. Drape your big screen in your patio room with a Florida Gators cover.

Has an elastic band you can put in the back. Though why one would want a TV set near their patio is beyond me.

64. You can play all you want with this WVU toy train engine.

Though I’d suggest you go with Thomas the Tank Engine instead. Since your kids would prefer the trains from that franchise. This seems more what the parents would want.

65. Enjoy a time outside with this Florida State Seminoles picnic basket cooler.

It’s a combination between a cooler and a picnic basket. So you can have the best of both worlds, I guess.

66. Welcome the holidays with a UCLA stocking.

Try hanging that on your fireplace. Sure it’s not exactly what some expect. But I’m sure UCLA fans would want it.

67. Brand your steak with a Nittany Lion touch.

Yes, now you can brand your steak with Penn State. Like it’s really necessary. Not.

68. Proudly show off your school pride with a Baylor onesie.

Guy seems to be so proud of himself. Though I have no idea what to think of a garment I think is more appropriate on babies.

69. Enjoy hours of fun with this Alabama dart board.

Oh, it’s a dart board. Thought it was a pair of cabinet doors when I used one for my NFL merchandise post. That’s certainly makes me feel dumb now.

70. Carry your things to the game in this Michigan adventure wagon.

Okay, it’s not suited for a stadium. But you can fold it up and take it with you.

71. Carry your things from the store in this Michigan shopping bag.

Bet it comes with insulation to keep your food cool until you put it in the fridge. Great to take with you to Aldi.

72. Can’t make a fine steak without this Penn State rub.

Yes, they have Penn State steak rub. However, you can basically make your own since most recipes include a rub of some kind.

73. Keep your room lit with this University of Kentucky lava lamp.

Since when do lava lamps have to do with sports? Those two don’t seem to go together for some reason.

74. Kick back on your very own big blue Kentucky couch.

It’s a suede couch with the UK logo. But even though you might want a couch like this, it’s unlikely you’d buy one.

75. Enjoy your snacks in your very own University of Illinois snack dispenser.

And it’s shaped like a football helmet just in time for the season. Chips on top. Everything else is on the face mask.

76. Have your little one take their first steps in these Tar Heel booties.

Yes, these are cute. But regular booties are just as adorable. And cheaper.

77. For your pool party, you can’t go without a University of Illinois cooler floatie.

It’s even inflatable with cup holders. Still, why would you want to use drinks in the pool? That’s just nothing short of unthinkable to me.

78. Put your tailgating fare on this Penn State table.

It’s an interesting shape with the logo. Not sure if I’d want it in my home though. Since it’s not really my taste.

79. Store your candy in these Penn State Pez dispensers.

Each one has a topper of a football with a Penn State logo. Yet, the candy is inedible.

80. If you want a basket and a cooler, this piece from Notre Dame is for you.

Yes, it has the Notre Dame logo with a basket weave. Great for picnics and tailgating.

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