Summer is a time of year where many people tend to travel great length to go to the beach. Of course, many kids tend to build sandcastles with their sand toys and such. Yet, while some of them may be quite good, there are some adults who tend to take this to an art form. Sometimes they don’t even build castles since such subject matter is kids’ stuff. Nevertheless, this post is about the kind of sand sculpture that would put a lot of little kids to shame if they ever viewed their creations as having any serious artistic merit. Of course, most little kids don’t take their creations too seriously but that’s beside the point. So without further adieu, here is an assortment of sand sculptures by a lot of artists who actually did take their sand castles seriously as young kids.
1. Why make a sandcastle when you can create a whole sand city skyline?
Of course, I’m not sure what city or if a any urban entity has such skyline. Yet, I have to admit it’s better city than what I could’ve created.
2. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the abode of Poseidon.
I almost thought this was a sand sculpture of Zeus on Mount Olympus until I noticed the fish. Of course, you don’t want to mess with Poseidon either since he’s also the god of earthquakes.
3, Of course, you can’t exclude a sand sculpture of the Bard himself.
For those who don’t know that is a donkey’s head for Bottom from A Midsummer’s Nights Dream. It’s not a prop for The Godfather, which is nowhere near a Shakespearean comedy.
4. Of course, nobody can’t skip a sand sculpture rendition of the Wallace and Gromit classic The Wrong Trousers.
Of course, the moral of The Wrong Trousers is never trust mysterious anthropomorphic penguins, especially if it wears a rubber red glove to disguise itself as a chicken.
5. A Star Trek sand sculpture can go to where sand sculpture has never gone before.
Still, this doesn’t stop Spock from thinking that sand artwork is highly illogical. Of course, he thinks a lot of things are illogical.
6. Go to the beach and see Batman fight the Hulk.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a fight between Batman and the Hulk would make an exciting movie. I mean I’m sure Batman would somehow end up in the ICU with a full body cast once the Hulk is done with him.
7. We’ll always have a sand sculpture of Hollywood.
Of course, this is a sand sculpture of the climatic scene in Casablanca when Ilsa goes on that plane. Still, “Here’s looking at you kid.”
8. Yet, no sand sculpture gallery would be complete without a rendition of Herman Mellville’s Moby Dick.
Of course, this is the scene when Moby Dick takes down Captain Ahab which kind of serves the bastard right. After all, Moby Dick wasn’t nearly as obsessed with meeting Ahab as Ahab was meeting him.
9. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a sand sculpture of Captain Jack Sparrow.
Of course, contrary to the map, Jack Sparrow is a pirate from the Caribbean, not Boston. Yet, the artist did a hell of a job since it almost resembles the real thing.
10. I’m sure a giant Gollum still hasn’t gotten over losing his precious.
“We wants it. We needs it. We must have the precious.” Still, very artistically done but might frighten the kids.
11. See Leonardo Da Vinci draw his Virtruvian Man on the beach.
Of course, the reason we could tell it’s Da Vinci and not an old man rising from the sand has more to do with the Virtruvian Man’s inclusion.
12. Of course, you have to include a sand sculpture of Darth Vader though he may be on the dark side of the Force.
Still, Darth Vader tends to be a popular subject among sand sculptors for some reason. Maybe it’s due to him being such an iconic bad guy.
13. For you Canadians, here’s the sand sculpture for you.
Still, I’m not sure if a sand sculpture for Canada is appropriate since I’m sure the country isn’t known for its beaches. I think a snow sculpture would be more suitable.
14. Why make a sand castle when you can make a bunch of sand dinosaurs fighting each other?
Of course, I wouldn’t let my kids anywhere near those Tyrannosaurs. Still, I’m sure letting your kids playing around dinosaurs isn’t very responsible parental behavior even if T-rexes are awesome.
15. See a rendition of George Washington crossing the Delaware.
Of course, I’m sure icy water is easier to navigate through than sand. Yet, I can see Lincoln in the background for some reason.
16. See a sand sculpture involving a Pope and a winged lion.
Of course, I’m sure the Pope in the original picture just had himself put in a portrait with a winged lion to make himself seem more badass. At least I think the guy in the sculpture’s a pope.
17. Here is a sand sculpture depicting the birth of Aphrodite rising from the sea in a clam shell.
That is, it’s actually only one of the ways Aphrodite was born in Greek Mythology. Still, in this version of her birth, she didn’t necessarily rise out of a clam shell. It actually out of another god’s genitals cut off during a family dispute.
18. Dr. Sigmund Freud sometimes likes to psychoanalyze his patients at the beach.
Of course, what you don’t want to hear from Dr. Freud are his psychological evaluations of Greek mythological characters. Please, don’t ask.
19. Let’s see if this Lord of the Rings sand sculpture is the one to rule them all.
Of course,this sculpture only has Gollum, Gandalf, and Frodo Baggins since doing a sand sculpture of the Fellowship would’ve taken up the whole beach.
20. See a sand sculpture of Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid.
And here’s Jackie Coogan playing the adorable little boy way before he played Uncle Fester in The Addams Family. Yes, Uncle Fester was once a cute little boy.
21. Here’s a sand sculpture rendition of Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels.
Of course, many would be creeped out by the idea of being tied down on a beach by tiny people while sleeping. I mean this is what most people remember from those stories.
22. And now a sand sculpture of King Trident’s castle.
I don’t know about you but I think Poseidon’s domain was way cooler for some reason. Still, right on though.
23. Why have a sand castle while you can create a sand dragon?
I’m sure the woman in the sculpture knows what I’m talking about. Though I’d be worry about her since dragons aren’t really that nice.
24. Here is a sand sculpture of a Mesoamerican calendar.
Of course, I’m not sure if it’s either Mayan or Aztec. Then again, it almost resembles what would be found at a real site.
25. Of course, you can’t leave the beach until you’ve seen a sand sculpture depicting the Last Supper.
Still, despite being very close to the tide, this is actually quite good. Too bad it will be washed away though.
26. Here’s a sand sculpture rendition of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The reason why I know this is because of Dobby’s presence and Ron’s broken wand. However, what I have to ask is where’s Harry Potter in this?
27. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the sand sculpture rendition of the Taj Mahal.
Of course, if you see a rendition of the Taj Mahal, you’ll get the idea of India. Yet, you need to hear the story behind it.
28. And here’s a sand sculpture tribute to Jurassic Park.
So the moral of this movie is that cloning dinosaurs for tourism is a very bad idea. Reason is demonstrated here.
29. Now here’s a sand sculpture tribute to Noah’s Ark.
Of course if it weren’t for the ark in the background, you would’ve assumed it was a take off on the creatures of Africa.
30. Here is a sand sculpture of a Mesoamerican pyramid temple.
Of course, if you want to know if it’s Mayan or Aztec, see who gets sacrificed there. Mayans take nobles while Aztecs take anyone they captured. Also, if it’s a temple to Quetzalcoatl, no humans will be sacrificed there at all.
31. Now here is a giant sand sculpture of the Buddha.
Of course, I’m sure spending a lot of time creating this statue isn’t really an enlightened activity to some people.
32. Here is a sandy rendition of the Syndey Opera House.
Of course, this is probably one of the more famous buildings in Australia if you know what I mean.
33. Finally, a sand sculpture tribute to the Harry Potter series.
At least this one has Harry and a lot of the major characters as well as Hogwarts itself. Then again, where’s Dumbledore and Hagrid?
34. To remember our troops, here is a sand sculpture of the famous photo from Iwo Jima.
Of course, if you’ve seen Flags of Our Fathers, what happened to the guys in the photo wasn’t pretty. This is particularly with Ira Hayes.
35. Here’s a sand sculpture of a rock star having a good old time.
Nevertheless, the song he played was “Enter the Sandman.” Get it?
36. A great sand sculpture dedication of Mount Rushmore.
Of course, it has the rare distinction of being one of America’s most iconic monuments while still managing to offend the Native Americans living near it.
37. Here is a sand sculpture of Michelangelo’s Pieta.
Of course, it’s not quite like the Michelangelo sculpture but it’ll have to do for this beach. Also, pretty close to the tide.
38. And now, a sand sculpture rendition of the Great Sphnix.
Still, don’t know whatever happened to his nose. Probably had something to do with erosion or something.
39. Here is a sand sculpture of Romeo and Juliet.
“Uh, Romeo, she’s not dead honestly. And, Juliet, just wake up already before he poisons himself already!” Seriously how can we view two teenagers making such rash decisions due to raging hormones as romantic?
40. Finally a sand monument to Walt and Mickey in sand.
On second thought, we have to accept that Walt Disney was kind of a scheming bastard while Mickey can be quite creepy.
41. And now to commemorate the Rio Olympics, here’s a sand sculpture of Rio de Janiero’s Christ the Redeemer.
Of course, I would’ve done this post during the World Cup but I was busy with other things at the time.
42. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the Beatles.
Paul: “What’s the matter with him?”
John: “Don’t know. Probably come down with a bad case of Bieber Fever.”
43. May I present to you, Harley Davidson’s wild hogs.
Having pigs on motorcycles is actually a clever idea. Of course, I hope they don’t crash, burn and end up crsipy bacon.
44. Of course, you have to have a sand sculpture of the Ten Commandments.
Of course, you can follow the Ten Commandments to the letter all your life and still be a shitty person. Also, I’m not posting this as a statement of religion. It’s just for artistic merit. By the way, these aren’t the Ten Commandments I learned in religion class anyway.
45. And now, a sand sculpture of the Greek gods on Mount Olympus.
Of course, in the world of mythology, this bunch is one of the most powerful jerks you’ll ever meet, especially Zeus. I mean most of the problems in Greek mythology are caused by Zeus not being able to keep it in his pants.
46. Of course, this castle has seen better days.
Yet, it’s still much more amazing than a sand castle that I could ever build.
47. There once was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
Of course, contrary to the nursery rhyme all her children had gone by now. And she’s basically living in it with her cat.
48. Man, I wonder if there could be a place like this in real life.
Nevertheless, this sand sculpture design is rather impressive. I sure couldn’t do that.
49. And now a sand sculpture of Marilyn Monroe from The Seven Year Itch.
Of course, this image was on a lot young men’s bedroom walls in the 1950s, though considered risque at the time.
50. Finally, a sand sculpture of the Statue of Liberty.
She seems more lively than the real thing in New York Harbor. Then again, she doesn’t get much leeway in metal though.