Basically says, “you sneeze a lot and have very expensive tastes.” Besides, you can get cheaper tissue boxes than this.

If you want to protest Donald Trump like a Brit, this is the book for you. Otherwise, best not to give to children who might make their parents think you’re setting a bad example.

Now you can shoot champagne straight into your mouth. Might make people think you have a drinking problem.

He’s basically a Donald Trump teddy bear that will turn everything you love into shit. Great for inflicting harm on your enemies. Still, for the love of God, kill it. Kill it with fire.

Guaranteed to creep people out when you have your coffee. Seriously, who puts teeth on a mug?

From Huffington Post: “Imagine waking up at 3 a.m. and seeing this Toilet Donald statue angrily tweeting about some imagined slight. Oh, sorry. That’s a nightmare.”

From Huffington Post: “This praying mantis statue definitely offers a new angle on angels. If the recipient looks at you incredulously (a good possibility), just look beatifically at the sky and say, ‘the Lord does work in strange and mysterious ways.'”

From Huffington Post: “Looking for a gift for the person still feeling burned by the 2016 election? Want something special for the person who thinks Trump is toast in 2020? This Trump toaster burns the face of The Donald on one side of bread, with ‘You’re Fired!’ on the other. The product’s website also sells ‘Impeach Jam.'”

From Huffington Post: “If you’re in a situation where you’re wearing a kilt, it’s not a bad idea for it to be camouflaged (why call attention to yourself?). The Tactical Kilt is especially handy because it has pockets and compartments that allow you to hide weapons, the better to protect yourself if people make fun of you.”

From Huffington Post: “Why a life preserver for a bottle of wine? If you have to ask why, you’ll never understand.”

From Huffington Post: “After a hard day, there is nothing like resting your feet on a moose-shaped Ottoman. And there is probably nothing in your house that matches a moose-shaped Ottoman. Just a warning: If you get this for Christmas, your kids will never let you get rid of it.”

From Huffington Post: “Texting in a bathroom isn’t easy. You have to hold the phone with both hands, leaving nothing to hold a glass of wine (or anything else). The Potty Texter apparently makes it easier to answer nature’s call while answering emails or checking out social media feeds. Just promise me you won’t use this to do a Facebook Live feed, please?”

From Huffington Post: “Hand turkeys are a common art project for school kids, but few of them are as elaborate as this statue that combines a turkey head with a human hand. Or as creepy. Yep, definitely creepy.”

From The Huffington Post: “Some weird gifts are actually weirdly useful, such as the Beard Bib. Hook it to a mirror with suction cup and it will catch all the facial hair before it gets stuck on the sink. I assume it could also work for vomit, spittle, last night’s dinner and other things you don’t want in the sink, but that’s a little gross to think about.”

From The Huffington Post: “If Donald Trump can scratch Vladimir Putin’s back, why can’t your cat scratch everywhere else. Yes, all cats will be rushin’ to use this scratching post of the Russian dictator, even though others would rather scratch his eyes out.”

That way, you can bring the party anywhere. But make sure you plug it in first.

If you need a pair on the go, these will serve you well. Just go into a bathroom and change first. Still, this is a pretty terrible gift.

For the person who said they wanted nothing. But you didn’t get the memo that they expected you to give them a gift anyway.

An ideal gift for the parent who wants to scare the kids straight. Then again, this might not be good for any children.

For the woman who wants to make an electric entrance. Then again, I’m not sure if the light actually works. Also, looks pretty ridiculous.

As you can see, the art isn’t the greatest. Faces range from Cubist to goblin.

On one side, it’s shiny red. On the other is Nicholas Cage’s face. Hope your loved one enjoys this one.

Now if you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you can find your way. Yet, it’ll make your toilet appear like a nuclear disaster area.

For the person in your life who loves food. But is often seen holding bottle of booze at a party when you see them.

It’s like Fifty Shades of Grey. But with kinky chicken recipes to try with your partner. Then again, that might be a better idea than the real book.

For the democratic socialist with a green thumb. Nonetheless, Bernie certainly has hair like that.

It’s a cuddly teddy bear known to break wind. Kids will love it. Parents not so much.

Okay, this is a prank pack. But I’m sure many would want something that would roll the dough itself.

Allows you to feed the critters outside. Though a bird feeder works just as well. Seriously, I’ve seen it in action.

It’s the hot new tech gift that nobody wants, especially women. Great for making that special someone hate you for the rest of your life.

You can store paper clips in the seat. While the figure holds tape as toilet paper and pencil at the mouth.

From Buzzfeed: “Crumpled trash is the pinnacle of true love.” I’d beg to differ on that.

Now you can eat and write with the same utensils. Okay, that’s quite unsanitary.

From The Huffington Post: “This collection of tiki mugs — modeled on the mugs of various characters from ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ — is perfect for the person who loves foofy drinks and ‘90s sci-fi. As Jean-Luc Picard might say: ‘Make it so … alcoholic.'” Wait a minute, Cardassians and Ferengi are much more appropriate for Deep Space Nine.

From Buzzfeed: “For the friend who has to endure medical school.” Or nursing school. Come in 6 different colors.

It’s a cute way of telling your loved one that they remind you of the Wolfman. And that it might not be a good thing.

It’s supposed to keep you hydrated while you play video games. Okay, it’s actually a prank pack. Sorry to disappoint you.

It’s a mount you can use to put your device up. Yes, it’s another prank pack. But that’s beside the point.

From Refinery29: “Because ladies LOVE doing dishes in their heels.” Actually we women do not.

From Refinery29: “For the recent retiree or gentleman/woman/homesteader of leisure in your life, a gift that truly says, ‘This should keep you busy while you run out the ol’ life-clock.’ Your giftee will know you value traditional, rural handicraft and savings when you show them that it comes with a free issue of Carving Magazine!”

From Refinery29: “Finally, a gift that reminds me of my arthritic wrists.” Maybe if you have arthritis, you shouldn’t wear bracelets.

From Refinery29: “Finally, a girl can make four pies simultaneously, in a weird iron-maiden-type device, in the comfort and safety of her own home. Psych, everyone — this is actually the best gift.”

From Refinery29: “It’s a scarf! No, it’s a purse! It’s a scurseparf! Forget those bras with pockets: Here’s the today way to sassily sport the valuables you need most, like your bling-y barrettes and Sophie Kinsella novels.”

From Refinery29: “This is a super-classy, MoMA-approved way to commemorate the 36 most special times you ever got lit (precious memories). Don’t buy it for us, though. Our boxes of Chardonnay don’t come with corks.”

They’re eyes you can stick on your food. Takes playing with it to a whole new level.

I’m sure it’s given to dads everywhere. With this book, they can be lame like the dad in that 1970s style cover.

Indeed, these are cats on vinegar rice you can hang on your backpack or purse. For cat and sushi lovers everywhere.

With this you can take a nap anytime and anywhere. Okay, this is actually a prank pack. But many would wish it can be the real thing.

Guaranteed to last longer than a real bag of potato chips. Though this woman doesn’t know the difference.

Comes with a secret compartment. Though your younger guests might think it resembles a save icon.

From Buzzfeed: “HA HAR HA. Tell ’em how you really feel.” Wonder how people would react if you put them on your fridge.

It’s packing tape with hinges on it. Makes it seem that packages are easier or harder to open than they really are.

Makes you think that your dinner is a preview. Not sure if that helps matters.

Do you love pizza so much you’d want to go to bed with it? Now you can in a way. Still, it’s kind of tacky.

It’s a card game on the different kinds of poop there are. Disgusting? I know.

That way you can get toilet paper like you got polaroids. Yet, many younger people may not know what this is supposed to resemble.

It’s to keep your beer cool when you don’t have a fridge in sight. Yeah, they seem to make so many beer products for some reason.

They’re coffee mugs with a 2 way radio. Okay, it’s a prank pack. I know it’s disappointing.

It’s supposed to be like Mao Zedong’s Little Red Book but with Donald Trump quotes. Let’s just say Mao was more eloquent in his oratory.

They’re wooden spoons shaped like guitars. Come in acoustic and electric.

It’s like a Magic 8 Ball. But it’s gives you sarcastic answers. Then again, a real Magic 8 Ball was like that, too.

Well, they have a lot of other kinds of emoji stuff. Yet, imagine having to tee off with one of these.

It’s supposed to be a soap duck with money inside. By the way, the money’s not real as you can see.

So this is a poetry book by cats. Didn’t know they can write poems. Oh wait, they can’t.

It’s a pillow resembling a sloth. Blends in with the right kind of carpet.

I think it’s supposed to be a book asking questions about some French guy that no one reads. Well, that’s as far as I know.

It’s a card game featuring a variety of horrible and hilarious scenarios. Though Odo from Deep Space Nine slept in a bucket during the early seasons like it was nothing. Since he’s a shape-shifter.

It’s supposed to keep your drink warm on a cold winter day. Though if you have one of these, you might also have a drinking problem.

For the woman who’s dealt with so much shit from men that squeezing a couple of nuts brings such sweet relief. Disgusting but kind of hilarious.

It’s for writing notes while you’re in the shower. When you’re supposed to be cleaning yourself.

It’s a fondue for a luau party. Will go well with the Star Trek Next Gen tiki cups.

It’s a water bottle that resembles a bottle of moonshine. Though you have to love the passed out squirrel.

When it pops, the turkey’s done. Simple as that. Perfect for Thanksgiving.

One side you use for your butt. The other side you use for scrubbing your face. Yeah, I know it’s pretty lame.

It’s toilet spray for the kinky kind. Of course, it’s a way to tell someone that their bathroom smells like shit.

It’s supposed to be a donkey cigarette dispenser. Indeed, it’s in poor taste and fosters bad health habits.

It’s a way you can carry your lunch and freak people out at the same time. Comes with eye chart.

It’s dental floss with a ranch dressing taste. While using it will clean your teeth, your mouth won’t smell like minty freshness.

For the person who needs constant reactions but can’t afford a crowd. Perfect for the person who has to work closely for Donald Trump.

They’re mittens for wiping your butt when you go to the bathroom. I’m sure they’re disposable.

It’s a seat made from pizza boxes. Great way to show the world you love pizza and are poor.

For the girl who loves Ryan Gosling. But if you’re her boyfriend, you’ll eventually get sick of looking at his face after awhile.

Finally, a photo album for the pictures you take of yourself. Perfect for the narcissists in your life.

It’s one of those party games where players decide who’s most likely to do what. By the way, no one wins at the game.

I’m sure this guy will make your parties. Though you wouldn’t want children to attend them. Since he has a rather swirly appendage.

Now you can hear the music of Justin Bieber while cleaning your teeth. Perfect for that special someone who you want to see suffer.

From The Huffington Post: “Some people look for happiness in the bottom of a glass. Now you can see the future. The Fortune Teller Tumbler uses the same ‘technology’ of the Magic 8 Ball kids toy to answer life’s most pressing questions. ‘Am I going to get stupid drunk tonight trying to get a decent fortune out of this glass?’ ‘All signs point to yes.'”

From The Huffington Post: “Drinking more during the holidays? The AlcoMate portable breathalyzer can come in handy. However, take it from me: People get awfully competitive when you have a portable breathalyzer: Everyone will try to beat the other person’s score and the only one who wins is the Uber driver.” Perfect for choosing who’s going to be the designated driver.

From The Huffington Post: “Just to be clear: Poop is a game, not actual poop itself. The game requires players to get rid of their ‘poop’ cards without clogging the toilet. Certainly, there are crappier gifts to get.”

For the person who’s a bit too possessive about their ice cream. Surely there’s enough to share around.

Want to make a delicious grilled cheese and drive Bible Belt Christians nuts? This is for you.

Perfect for the drunken frat boy in your life who loves beer. Like Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Comes with 2 shot glasses for a drinking game. Perfect for the drunk uncle in your life.

It’s a way to manage those silent but deadlies. Though I don’t think it does shit.

From The Huffington Post: “Just what everyone wants for Christmas: A Donald Trump doll that spouts 17 of the trademark phrases he repeats at all of his rallies. Give this to a Trump supporter at your own risk, because they will keep pushing the button in order to push your buttons.” Unlike the real Trump, at least this one shuts up when you want it to and doesn’t take its unstoppable rage on Twitter.

From The Huffington Post: “Know someone who is really picky about their wine, but doesn’t know why they like what they like? Let DNA do the dirty work. The Vinome wine club selects wine based on the flavor preferences found in certain gene markers. The DNA spit test can help determine if the drinker is partial to bitter flavors, fruity flavors, and certain types of reds or whites. It worked for me and determined I like wine. Lots of it! Thank you, science!”

From The Huffington Post: “Gunsticles are metal balls in the shape of testicles designed to be attached to a gun. They serve no purpose whatsoever, other than to: A) tell others you have ‘balls,’ and B) letting others at the gun range easily spot the tool.”

From The Huffington Post: “Fish sandals. Two words you never realized sounded so good together until you read them just now.” Still, they look kind of disgusting.

From The Huffington Post: “It’s not for everyone, but you know there is at least one person in your life who would love a hidden door. Bonus points if they are a legit mad scientist. Negative points if they operate a meth lab.”

From The Huffington Post: “Figuring out whether pasta is ready is one of life’s hassles, requiring a person to repeatedly pick spaghetti out of a boiling pot and fling it against a wall. Wouldn’t it better to have a singing piece of plastic to let you know? Please don’t answer that. I can’t hear you anyway.”