Now we get to the ugly Christmas sweaters. What was once the bane of every holiday wardrobe has now become a must-have item for the annual office party. Sure, there may be the traditional fare like Santas, gingerbread men, wreaths, reindeer, Christmas trees, and more. But you’d also see plenty of pop culture stuff and other things. You might see ones for Star Wars, Star Trek, TV shows, movies, and some weird things like sloths, unicorns, and tacos. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of ugly Christmas sweaters. Some may not be safe for work or your family during the holidays. Enjoy.
- Go ahead, put that tongue on the flag pole.
But you’ll have to call 911 if your tongue sticks on a snowy day. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
2. This Christmas, just let it dough with the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Great to wear when making Christmas cookies. Like the row of croissants.
3. You’d be all lit for Christmas in this sweater.
Though I’m sure it comes with a battery pack. Santa and Frosty seem to delight in it.
4. Drink up this holiday season.
This sweater states, “Shut Up and Drink” in gold tinsel. And yes, there’s a beer can in holly.
5. “Fra-jee–lay. Must be Italian.”
This is a leg lamp sweater. And yes, there are leg lamps from top to bottom. Hilarious.
6. Don’t be a grumpy cat this Christmas.
Okay, this isn’t Grumpy Cat. But the cat doesn’t seem enthusiastic in a Santa hat.
7. Even sharks can get into the holiday spirit.
Though I doubt they’d wear sweaters under the sea. One even has a present in its mouth.
8. Someone’s got blue balls this year.
Well, frosty balls, anyway. Still, guys, please don’t wear this in front of your relatives.
9. Santa’s shown his crack.
And it seems like he’s wearing a thong while leaving presents. Seriously, shouldn’t he wear something more comfortable? Spending that night sitting on his sleigh must make him sore.
10. This guy’s all decked for the holidays.
If you don’t have a tree in your office, you can have Gary wear this sweater. And yes, it’s mostly in green tinsel with ornaments.
11. Are all these black cats looking at me?
This sweater has all of them wearing Santa hats. Perfect for your local crazy cat lady.
12. Apparently, Santa’s a rather horny man.
Okay, considering it’s a black Santa saying “Hoes, Hoes, Hoes,” there’s some terrible racial stereotyping. Also kind of looks pretty pervy if you ask me.
13. The Scranton Dunder Mifflin office doesn’t always hold the best parties.
This is from The Office. Michael wears a Santa hat. Dwight wears an elf one behind the Christmas tree.
14. Substitute Teacher’s not messing around.
He’s from Key & Peele. He’s an inner city school teacher at a white school who mispronounces his students’ names. It’s funny.
15. This guy’s up for any reindeer action.
Except that reindeer don’t have horns. They have antlers that fall off after mating season. At least along the males.
16. Nike even has ugly Christmas sneakers.
Normal tennis shoes are a must have. Ugly Christmas tennis shoes are a waste of money. Since you only wear them once a year.
17. May your Christmas be merry and Dwight.
And yes, I mean Dwight from The Office. Beware of beet presents and bears at Schrute Farms.
18. Even dogs can enjoy the ugly Christmas sweater trend.
The dog wears a reindeer one with glasses. And no it doesn’t seem happy about it at all.
19. The Abominable Snowman holds up the mistletoe.
Wonder what kind of abominable snow lady’s he’s looking to kiss under it. Might want to try Nepal.
20. Those into slasher horror will want this sweater for the holidays.
Sure, they don’t have much to do with Christmas. Includes Freddie, Jason, Mike Myers, and Leatherface.
21. Perhaps you can decorate your own holiday sweater.
This one depicts snow, lights, and snowflakes with stuff you find at a craft store. Not sure if the sweater’s home made though.
22. Get lit wearing this Christmas tree shirt.
And yes, this one really lights up. Comes with candy cane striped sleeves, too.
23. Make your holidays a colorful rainbow spectacle.
Features a rainbow Christmas tree in shiny beads. Love the golden star on top.
24. A shiny penguin sweater will certainly suit you.
Well, the penguin’s wearing a Christmas tree tie. Decorated with fake poinsettias, ribbons, and tinsel.
25. Perhaps you’d like a Krampus Christmas sweater.
The Krampus is plush. And he appears rather phallic. So better not wear it in front of the kids.
26. You can be a bit sloth this holiday season.
Well, this is a sloth ugly Christmas sweater. Because sloths are cute with their eyes and sharp claws. This one wears a Santa hat.
27. Care to wear a little black dress?
This sweater dress is decorated with silver bows and tinsel on the cuffs and skirt. Snazzy isn’t it?
28. Green feathers always make a Christmas sweater haute couture.
Kind of makes her seem like the height of fashion. If she lived in Whoville.
29. Christmas Grizzly always knows how to party.
Because he knows when you need a cold one. Also, he’s supposed to be hibernating.
30. John Calvin doesn’t care much for Christmas.
Ironic he’s even on a sweater. Because didn’t he not celebrate it? After all, the Puritans didn’t and they were certainly influenced by his ideas.
31. Feel free to don an ugly Christmas skirt this holiday season.
After all, these ladies did. 2 have winter scenes. One has Santas.
32. Always got to dedicate Christmas to the birthday boy.
Here this ugly Christmas sweater features Jesus Christ, our Lord. Of course, you don’t want to know what his Easter sweater looks like. Also, he wasn’t treated better than Donald Trump.
33. Are you on the Nice List or the Naught List?
By the way, if you take green, you’re nice. If you take red, you’re naughty.
34. Yes, they have Christmas sweaters for couples.
These two have Christmas sweaters with each other’s pictures on them. Isn’t that sweet?
35. Ho, ho, ho, DJ Santa’s in the house.
Okay, I might want to leave the party right now. I can’t stand Christmas music. Seriously.
36. Tis the season for outlandish tackiness.
The guy here wears an atrocious elf costume. The woman wears a Christmas tree sweater dress. Not sure who’s tackier.
37. This Christmas, there’s something you must know.
This is based off a conspiracy theory questioning Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide. Still, the guy was a heinous sex criminal who deserved what he got. So can’t we appreciate that he’s dead?
38. It wouldn’t be Christmas without the Wet Bandits.
Yes, they’re terrible criminals who you wouldn’t want lurking around your house. But after what Kevin McAllister does to them, I’m not sure whether to root for their doom or pity them.
39. Look, Santa Claus came in on his sleigh.
Well, he’s dressed as Santa. And his sleigh’s featured on his Christmas sweater. Kind of crazy isn’t it?
40. Don’t forget to put on a pair of ugly Christmas heels.
Decorated with bows, gold tinsel, and bells. May jingle when you walk in them.
41. Everyone wants a Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich Christmas sweater this holiday season.
The Popeye’s chicken sandwich was a hot menu item this year. So much that many restaurants faced mass panic as soon as they ran out.
42. Bugs really don’t like this time of year.
Because it’s cold and many of them freeze and die. But they’ll come back in the spring. I guarantee it.
43. You might want to wear this hat to go with that leg lamp sweater.
Says, “Fragile” meant to denote the package’s contents. Or Donald Trump’s ego.
44. Who ya gonna call this Christmas?
This one features the Ghostbusters logo in a standard Christmas wreath. like the rows of decor. So funny.
45. Look out, Trump Grinch is out to steal…..well, everything.
Says that his hands and heart were 2 sizes too small. You might say the same about his penis and capacity for humanity.
46. Forget reindeer. Santa’s got his sleigh pulled by pterodactyl.
Sure it may seem cool. But remember those prehistoric flyers have been extinct for around 65 million years. Sorry, kid.
47. She’s not a player. She just gets crushes a lot.
She means while she lusts in her heart, she doesn’t pursue other men. At least when at least one of them isn’t single.
48. Christmas sweater for 4?
I’m sure they’re wearing stuff underneath. Since you want your hands free and not be around the same 3 people all the time. So this is just for the photo op.
49. Someone’s dreaming of a Dwight Christmas.
Still, would you want Dwight to be at your Christmas party? Probably not since he’s really weird.
50. Let me introduce you to Frosty’s alcoholic cousin.
He’s Frothy the Snowman. A magical snowman with a penchant for beer.
51. Seek Yoda Claus, you do.
Wears Santa hat and robe he does. Carries candy cane everywhere, he does. Go all over you in a lightsaber duel, he will.
52. Don’t forget to get dressed in your best Christmas suit.
And this is certainly not one you’d wear for church. Seriously, people will get eye problems looking at it.
53. Let it glow with this reindeer.
He’s even wearing sunglasses and a matching sweater, too. Like the lights on his antlers though.
54. This Christmas, Santa sleighs the zombies.
Because zombie elves are no match for the big man in the red suit. Do your worst, you brain-eating undead corpses.
55. With Donald Trump, Christmas trees are fake.
Still, even if artificial, this Christmas tree’s more real than Donald Trump’s business and political successes ever will be. At least the impeachment will stick on him for the rest of his life.
56. “Spank me, Santa! Spank me hard!”
Yeah, I know it’s dirty. But there are some people into it. Still, don’t wear this sweater at the family Christmas gathering.
57. Ever see Santa ride a shark before?
Probably not. But you’d never think Santa could hold a trident or breathe underwater either.
58. Work for Dunder Mifflin? You might want this sweater.
It’s the paper company from The Office. There’s even paper clips on here.
59. Didn’t think Santa knew how to dunk.
Here he plays some ball with Rudolph and an elf. And why’s the elf on a basketball team. He’s obviously too short.
60. Yes, there’s a short version for that suit.
Don’t know why anyone would wear one. Since it looks utterly ridiculous if you ask me.
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 