Get in the Fiesta Spirit with These Treats of Cinco de Mayo

IMG_7427-copy

Now as a Caucasian American in Pennsylvania, I don’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo (though I did take Spanish in high school and college). But since most Hispanic Americans are Mexican and we have a lot of Hispanics in this country, I can’t really avoid doing a treat post on it. Contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not the Mexican equivalent to the 4th of July. Rather it’s more like Mexican Saint Patrick’s Day, which is celebrated by Mexican Americans as a day of pride for their ethnic heritage. But instead of pertaining to religious connotations, Cinco de Mayo commemorates the anniversary of a famous Mexican battle in which their forces defeated the French on May 5, 1862. Of course, it didn’t stop the French from taking over Mexico and installing an Austrian prince as a puppet ruler under the title, “Emperor of Mexico.” But the Mexicans later fight back to regain their independence, have the Mexican puppet emperor killed, which would later drive his wife crazy (and being a sister of Belgium’s King Leopold II certainly didn’t help). Nevertheless, many people in the American Southwest who aren’t Mexican tend to celebrate this holiday as an excuse to party and to go wasting away again in Margaritaville. Still, it tends to be celebrated in places like Canada, the Caribbean, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, France, and Japan. Again, don’t ask me why. So for your Cinco de Mayo party, here are some ideas for treats for your reading pleasure.

1. No Cinco de Mayo fiesta is complete without pinata cookies with M&Ms in store.

Of course, how they keep the M&Ms in there without melting, I don't know. Then again, some must have. Still, you have to break them open.

Of course, how they keep the M&Ms in there without melting, I don’t know. Then again, some must have. Still, you have to break them open.

2. Nothing celebrates one’s Mexican heritage more than a Rice Krispie treat of the Mexican flag.

Of course, I can't do a post on treats for occasions without having a few made from Rice Krispies. They're just pretty unavoidable.

Of course, I can’t do a post on treats for occasions without having a few made from Rice Krispies. They’re just pretty unavoidable.

3. Top off your Cinco de Mayo festivities with the ultimate smash pinata cake.

Of course, you wouldn't be able to get away with these kinds of cakes during the Cinco de Mayo festivities at the penitentiary. Especially if the authorities will suspect that something's in them.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to get away with these kinds of cakes during the Cinco de Mayo festivities at the penitentiary. Especially if the authorities will suspect that something’s in them.

4. Since you’ll probably have tacos during the Cinco de Mayo fiesta, may I suggest these would make a perfect dessert.

Now these are taco cookies, which most likely contain peanut butter, icing, and sprinkles. Well, as far as I can see. Still, at one angle, it's easy to mistake them for the real thing.

Now these are taco cookies, which most likely contain peanut butter, icing, and sprinkles. Well, as far as I can see. Still, at one angle, it’s easy to mistake them for the real thing.

5. You couldn’t ask for a better Cinco de Mayo treat than pretzel candies of Saguaro Cacti.

Unlike real cacti, these candies won't make you bleed when you touch them. But they won't help you survive if you're stuck in the desert.

Unlike real cacti, these candies won’t make you bleed when you touch them. But they won’t help you survive if you’re stuck in the desert.

6. Nothing shows off Mexican pride more than a sandwich of the Mexican flag.

Well, it had stuff sticking out of it so I guess it's a sandwich. Also, it's on a plate. Nevertheless, it's covered with guacamole, cream cheese, refried beans, and salsa.

Well, it had stuff sticking out of it so I guess it’s a sandwich. Also, it’s on a plate. Nevertheless, it’s covered with guacamole, cream cheese, refried beans, and salsa.

7. Por los ninos, you can’t go wrong with these Mexican sombrero guys cake pops.

Of course, don't use them to imitate the banditos from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, especially in front of your Mexican friends. Then again, when it gets to that point, you'd probably been drinking too many Margaritas anyway.

Of course, don’t use them to imitate the banditos from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, especially in front of your Mexican friends. Then again, when it gets to that point, you’d probably been drinking too many Margaritas anyway.

8. To go with the Mexican flag Rice Krispie treats, a Rice Krispie sombrero will do.

As if you can't come up with more ideas for Rice Krispies, there comes a sombrero made of these. It's like Rice Krispies are the cooking medium for the repressed art majors.

As if you can’t come up with more ideas for Rice Krispies, there comes a sombrero made of these. It’s like Rice Krispies are the cooking medium for the repressed art majors.

9. Nothing makes a Cinco de Mayo fiesta than topping it off with a sombrero cake.

Now this is an intricate cake probably made at a bakery. But it'll do nicely. Still, I wonder if they use the same shape for a Pilgrim hat around Thanksgiving.

Now this is an intricate cake probably made at a bakery. But it’ll do nicely. Still, I wonder if they use the same shape for a Pilgrim hat around Thanksgiving.

10. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with these Frida Kahlo cake pops.

Yes, she had a mustache. But compared to her husband Diego Rivera, she looked like a supermodel. And she was his 3rd wife. But the story of this couple is another matter altogether.

Yes, she had a mustache. But compared to her husband Diego Rivera, she looked like a supermodel. And she was his 3rd wife. But the story of this couple is another matter altogether.

11. Nothing celebrates Mexican heritage than a cake containing everything we associate Mexico with.

Then again, everything on this cake you can associate with the American Southwest. Except that you take the sombrero and serape and replace it with cowboy stuff.

Then again, everything on this cake you can associate with the American Southwest. Except that you take the sombrero and serape and replace it with cowboy stuff. Then again, you don’t see a Margarita glass.

12. To go with your Cinco de Mayo cakes, here are some Cinco de Mayo cookies.

Now these cookies are of May 5th, pinatas, Mesoamerican temple art, cacti, maracas, chili peppers, limes, Our Lady of Guadelupe, and Corona. And I identified all that without consulting Wikipedia.

Now these cookies are of May 5th, pinatas, Mesoamerican temple art, cacti, maracas, chili peppers, limes, Our Lady of Guadelupe, and Corona. And I identified all that without consulting Wikipedia.

13. For your sombrero cake, these sombrero cupcakes will go well perfectly.

Either these are sombreros or they are the kind of Mexicanized version of the hat you'd see the one guy wear in Curious George. But at least they're chocolate as far as I'm concerned.

Either these are sombreros or they are the kind of Mexicanized version of the hat you’d see the one guy wear in Curious George. But at least they’re chocolate as far as I’m concerned.

14. Bring some spice into your life this Cinco de Mayo with these nacho bowl cupcakes.

Now they almost resemble the real thing until you get a closer look. The nachos are cookies while the cheese is icing, the salsa is jelly, and jalapenos are candy.

Now they almost resemble the real thing until you get a closer look. The nachos are cookies while the cheese is icing, the salsa is jelly, and jalapenos are candy.

15. I’m sure the little ninos in your life will love these Cinco de Mayo kitties in sombreros.

Yes, they may be made from cookies, candy, and marshmallows. But even I have to admit that they're so adorable.

Yes, they may be made from cookies, candy, and marshmallows. But even I have to admit that they’re so adorable.

16. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a Mexican flag dip tray, as far as I know.

Well, this consists of guacamole, sour cream, and tomato. Probably should've went with salsa but hey, I didn't come up with the recipe.

Well, this consists of guacamole, sour cream, and tomato. Probably should’ve went with salsa but hey, I didn’t come up with the recipe.

17. To give your Cinco de Mayo fiesta an extra spike, go with this cactus cake.

Unlike real cacti, this won't actually hurt anyone nor will it keep you from dying of dehydration. But it does have a pretty flower.

Unlike real cacti, this won’t actually hurt anyone nor will it keep you from dying of dehydration. But it does have a pretty flower.

18. To dance the night away, you can’t go wrong with these edible maracas.

Unfortunately, they're filled with Nerd candies which don't taste very good. May I suggest M&Ms instead?

Unfortunately, they’re filled with Nerd candies which don’t taste very good. May I suggest M&Ms instead?

19. For your hungry ninos, these sombrero candies make great party favors.

Now this is topped with gum drops. But I'm not sure about what kind of sheet you'd need for the brim part though. Still, pretty cute if I do say so myself.

Now this is topped with gum drops. But I’m not sure about what kind of sheet you’d need for the brim part though. Still, pretty cute if I do say so myself.

20. So if you’re having tacos for dinner on Cinco de Mayo, why not have them for dessert, too?

Now these consists of a chocolate covered waffle cone taco shell with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and M&Ms. All in all, this is a a taco sundae all smothered in chocolate. Yum!

Now these consists of a chocolate covered waffle cone taco shell with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and M&Ms. All in all, this is a a taco sundae all smothered in chocolate. Yum!

21. I’m sure your little ninos will have fun with these chili pepper treats on a stick.

Now these are adorable, especially the one with the little sombrero. Still, I'm sure they aren't made of peppers though. But I like them anyway.

Now these are adorable, especially the one with the little sombrero. Still, I’m sure they aren’t made of peppers though. But I like them anyway.

22. Don’t like Margaritas, then fill Margarita glasses with candy and cupcakes.

Now that I think about it, I kind of like these Margaritas better than the real thing. Of course, I'd fill them with peanut M&Ms though.

Now that I think about it, I kind of like these Margaritas better than the real thing. Of course, I’d fill them with peanut M&Ms though.

23. Seems like your little muchachos will love these Mexican man cookie sandwiches on sticks.

Of course, remind them that they can't use these to act out derogatory Mexican stereotypes as one may see from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. That, or the Frito Bandito.

Of course, remind them that they can’t use these to act out derogatory Mexican stereotypes as one may see from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. That, or the Frito Bandito.

24. For your nino’s Cinco de Mayo dinner, you might want to go with this tortilla sandwich.

Now this has tortilla with fried rice, carrots, beans and sour cream. Nevertheless, it's a better looking specimen than anything I would do in art class.

Now this has tortilla with fried rice, carrots, beans and sour cream. Nevertheless, it’s a better looking specimen than anything I would do in art class.

25. For a real fiesta, these sombrero cookies will work wonders for Cinco de Mayo.

Yes, these are cookies. And yes, the mound is covered in layers of multicolored icing. Still, they're a sight to behold. Bet they taste delicious.

Yes, these are cookies. And yes, the mound is covered in layers of multicolored icing. Still, they’re a sight to behold. Bet they taste delicious.

26. Go for a cold one this Cinco de Mayo with these Mexican flag popsicles.

Of course, if you have some left over, you can always save them for celebrating one's Italian heritage by passing off as Italian flag popsicles. Works much easier that way.

Of course, if you have some left over, you can always save them for celebrating one’s Italian heritage by passing off as Italian flag popsicles. Works much easier that way.

27. These cacti cupcakes will have your fiesta guests prickly for more.

Sure they may seem spikey but they won't hurt you except when it comes to possibly putting you at risk for diabetes. Nevertheless, at least they're chocolate.

Sure they may seem spikey but they won’t hurt you except when it comes to possibly putting you at risk for diabetes. Nevertheless, at least they’re chocolate.

28. Make your Cinco de Mayo fiesta complete with this Mexican flag veggie tray.

Now these consist of pea pods, red peppers, cheese sticks, and cherry tomatoes. So it's not quite like a veggie tray but close.

Now these consist of pea pods, red peppers, cheese sticks, and cherry tomatoes. So it’s not quite like a veggie tray but close.

29. Bring the fiesta spirit to your Cinco de Mayo party with these Margarita cake pops.

Let's hope they have a chocolate filling and aren't too salty. Then again, I could be wrong here.

Let’s hope they have a chocolate filling and aren’t too salty. Then again, I could be wrong here. But I wonder if they’re for people under 21.

30. I’m sure these Mexican flag jalapeno peppers will make your Cinco de Mayo fiesta a certified hit.

Well, they may be covered in icing and sugar. But at least they have some nutritional value compared to other treats on this post.

Well, they may be covered in icing and sugar. But at least they have some nutritional value compared to other treats on this post.

31. Nothing makes your Cinco de Mayo fiesta memorable than these cupcakes of all things Mexico.

These consist of sombreros, serape,s and the Mexican flag. But they all seem intricately decorated with layers of icing.

These consist of sombreros, serape,s and the Mexican flag. But they all seem intricately decorated with layers of icing.

32. These beautiful fiesta dress cupcakes will make your fiesta a sight to behold.

Not sure about the pattern for these dresses. But they're nevertheless so beautiful that you'd wonder whether to eat them.

Not sure about the pattern for these dresses. But they’re nevertheless so beautiful that you’d wonder whether it would be right to eat them.

33. Of course, you can’t have a Cinco de Mayo fiesta without these Mexican sun cookies.

Now these seem to be well above my artistic talents. Yet, the are nevertheless beautiful. They also have, "ole" written in a way that resembles a face.

Now these seem to be well above my artistic talents. Yet, the are nevertheless beautiful. They also have, “ole” written in a way that resembles a face.

34. Your Cinco de Mayo fiesta won’t get into the true spirit of Mexico unless it has a cake like its flag.

Now I'm sure you can't eat the decal of the eagle with the snake. Yet, it very much gets into the Mexican spirit indeed.

Now I’m sure you can’t eat the decal of the eagle with the snake. Yet, it very much gets into the Mexican spirit indeed.

35. If you can have tacos during meals, why not on cupcakes?

Now these are made from cookies, candies, and icing to put them together. But the cupcakes themselves are vanilla.

Now these are made from cookies, candies, and icing to put them together. But the cupcakes themselves are vanilla.

36. If you can eat tacos for dinner and lunch, you can have them for breakfast.

Now these are fruit tacos that contain almost any fruit you can think of. But they probably have more nutritional value than anything you'd find at Taco Bell.

Now these are fruit tacos that contain almost any fruit you can think of. But they probably have more nutritional value than anything you’d find at Taco Bell.

37. Seems like these taco cookies can’t wait to be eaten.

Yes, they are smiling. Yes, they are taco cookies. And yes, they are adorable. Need I say more.

Yes, they are smiling. Yes, they are taco cookies. And yes, they are adorable. Need I say more.

38. I’m sure these pinata cookies are just waiting to be broken. But good luck with getting candy out of them.

Now these are simply adorable that even their noses are smiley faces. Of course, it's kind of weird but what the hell.

Now these are simply adorable that even their noses are smiley faces. Of course, it’s kind of weird but what the hell.

39. M&Ms are certainly great when it comes to decorating maraca cookies.

And I hope they have M&Ms inside them, too. Or I will be very angry if I don't see them after breaking one open.

And I hope they have M&Ms inside them, too. Or I will be very angry if I don’t see them after breaking one open.

40. You heard about Margaritas. Now here’s some Margarita cupcakes.

Sure they may be bigger than regular cupcakes since you put them in Margarita glasses. Yet, the fact these aren't chocolate is kind of disappointing to say the least.

Sure they may be bigger than regular cupcakes since you put them in Margarita glasses. Yet, the fact these aren’t chocolate is kind of disappointing to say the least.

41. Now these cupcakes are supposed to be of nachos in guacamole.

I'm sure the guacamole is made from green icing and sprinkles. And the pot is made from chocolate cake. But these look delicious.

I’m sure the guacamole is made from green icing and sprinkles. And the pot is made from chocolate cake. But these look delicious.

42. On Cinco de Mayo, some cookies may be of basic Mexican concepts. Others can be quite intricate to say the least.

Now these are certainly beyond my level of artistry which is pretty low to begin with. Nevertheless, they are incredibly beautiful and probably decorated by repressed art majors.

Now these are certainly beyond my level of artistry which is pretty low to begin with. Nevertheless, they are incredibly beautiful and probably decorated by repressed art majors.

43. Celebrate your Cinco de Mayo with these pinata cupcakes.

Now these may be covered with icing and not have anything in them. But they're adorable. And they're chocolate, too.

Now these may be covered with icing and not have anything in them. But they’re adorable. And they’re chocolate, too.

44. Nothing says Cinco de Mayo than these meringue cacti cookies.

Yes, these are saguaro cacti with flowers on them. But they won't make you bleed when you touch them or rehydrate you in the desert.

Yes, these are saguaro cacti with flowers on them. But they won’t make you bleed when you touch them or rehydrate you in the desert.

45. Get in the Mexican spirit of Cinco de Mayo with these pinata jello shots.

Of course, a word of caution here. Just because they're jello and in bright colors, doesn't mean they're for kids. In fact, they may contain alcohol, which means they aren't suitable for anyone under 21.

Of course, a word of caution here. Just because they’re jello and in bright colors, doesn’t mean they’re for kids. In fact, they may contain alcohol, which means they aren’t suitable for anyone under 21.

46. Who says you need ice cream to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with cones?

Now these are cupcakes that contain yellow cake with rice cakes and ice cream cones. But they're nevertheless cute by any means.

Now these are cupcakes that contain yellow cake with rice cakes and ice cream cones. But they’re nevertheless cute by any means.

47. Make your Cinco de Mayo memorable with this cactus Rice Krispie treat on a stick.

It may not be as much help to you in the desert. But it's so cute by any means. Also, I love its little sombrero hat.

It may not be as much help to you in the desert. But it’s so cute by any means. Also, I love its little sombrero hat.

48. Have your little ninos wake up this Cinco de Mayo to this pancake maracas hombre in his sombrero.

Most of this consists of pancakes and bacon, especially his bacon mustache. But it's still quite adorable.

Most of this consists of pancakes and bacon, especially his bacon mustache. But it’s still quite adorable.

49. Taco cupcakes? How about taco cookies?

For once, I'd almost mistake these for the real thing due to how they photographed this. But these would go great with topping any cupcakes since they consist of cookie, sprinkles, and icing.

For once, I’d almost mistake these for the real thing due to how they photographed this. But these would go great with topping any cupcakes since they consist of cookie, sprinkles, and icing.

50. For those who don’t like taco cookies, try some tostada cookies instead.

As far as I know, the main difference between a tostada and a taco is that you eat one of them with a fork. Still, quite impressive if I do say so myself.

As far as I know, the main difference between a tostada and a taco is that you eat one of them with a fork. Still, quite impressive if I do say so myself.

Advertisements

Place Your Bets for These Kentucky Derby Hats

130502173927-kentucky-derby-2012-horizontal-gallery

The first Saturday in May, all eyes are on Louisville’s Churchill Downs for the annual Kentucky Derby which is one of America’s oldest sporting events with the first taking place in 1875 with the first started by Meriwether Lewis Clark Jr. (whose grandfather was William Clark of the Lewis and Clark expedition). Seriously, it predates the Super Bowl. Now the Kentucky Derby is the first of the major Triple Crown horse races in which the horses and their riders must race along a 1 1/4 mile stretch. But unlike NASCAR, it’s just the one time and lasts for a few minutes. So no falling asleep at the TV screen there. However, the winner is usually the favorite for the other two Triple Crown races like the Preakness in Maryland and the Belmont States of New York as well as gets covered in roses. The horse winning these races wins the Triple Crown, which last happened in the 1970s. Now after the Kentucky Derby is a 2 week long Kentucky Derby festival. Still, there are a lot of traditions associated with the Kentucky Derby such as mint juleps, burgoo, gambling, and rich people. Yet, one particular tradition standing out is how many spectators tend to wear large ridiculous hats. So for your reading pleasure, here is an assortment of Kentucky Derby hats.

1. Now this guy loves flowers in his hat and seeing dollar signs.

Yes, wearing ridiculous Kentucky Derby hats no longer seems limited to women anymore. I mean this guy seems more suited for a different sporting event or night club.

Yes, wearing ridiculous Kentucky Derby hats no longer seems limited to women anymore. I mean this guy seems more suited for a different sporting event or night club.

2. Of course, you can’t kick off the Kentucky Derby Day without breakfast.

Not sure if this hat is from the Kentucky Derby. Yet, since it's a hat with a heart attack inducing breakfast on it, I'll put it on there. Fitting since obesity is a big problem in Kentucky anyway.

Not sure if this hat is from the Kentucky Derby. Yet, since it’s a hat with a heart attack inducing breakfast on it, I’ll put it on there. Fitting since obesity is a big problem in Kentucky anyway.

3. Why have a flamingo on your lawn, while you can have one in your hat?

Now this hat is outrageous enough without the flamingo. But with it, it's just tacky. Even more ridiculous is that the flamingo also has a hat, too.

Now this hat is outrageous enough without the flamingo. But with it, it’s just tacky. Even more ridiculous is that the flamingo also has a hat, too.

4. Ever get the feeling that some people have horses flying around their heads?

Now this guy has a cowboy hat on with roses and horses spinning at the top. Of course, there are only two seats on this small carousel if it is one.

Now this guy has a cowboy hat on with roses and horses spinning at the top. Of course, there are only two seats on this small carousel if it is one.

5. Since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, it’s only fitting to have wear a hat of blue cheese.

And what better hat of blue cheese than one that almost resembles Mt. Rushmore on a platter? Seriously, it kind of does if you think about it.

And what better hat of blue cheese than one that almost resembles Mt. Rushmore on a platter? Seriously, it kind of does if you think about it.

6. When it comes to top hats, the taller the better.

If it weren't for the roses, you'd think this guy's hat came straight out of a Dr. Seuss story. But it goes great with his outfit.

If it weren’t for the roses, you’d think this guy’s hat came straight out of a Dr. Seuss story. But it goes great with his outfit.

7. If one flamingo won’t make your hat look ridiculous, more will certainly do the charm.

Flower garden flamingos: Making Kentucky Derby hats and gardens tackier since someone thought that they'd make a great decoration for their landscaping.

Flower garden flamingos: Making Kentucky Derby hats and gardens tackier since someone thought that they’d make a great decoration for their landscaping.

8. Roses, beads, and pins will certainly make this woman a spectacle at the derby.

Too bad that the Amazing Karnak was planning on wearing the same thing. Of course, most people don't know who the Amazing Karnak is since he's one of Johnny Carson's characters. Yeah, hasn't been around since the 1990s.

Too bad that the Amazing Karnak was planning on wearing the same thing. Of course, most people don’t know who the Amazing Karnak is since he’s one of Johnny Carson’s characters. Yeah, hasn’t been around since the 1990s.

9. Make sure the roses on your hat have little horseman on them.

Now I don't know what to make of that. Because little horsemen simply don't jump out of roses as far as I know. Except maybe in acid trips or something.

Now I don’t know what to make of that. Because little horsemen simply don’t jump out of roses as far as I know. Except maybe in acid trips or something.

10. In the Kentucky Derby, your hat can never have enough flowers or feathers.

Now this seems like a fancy winter hat at this angle. But it's basically made for spring. Still, it's as utterly tacky as you'd expect Lady Gaga to wear it at an awards ceremony.

Now this seems like a fancy winter hat at this angle. But it’s basically made for spring. Still, it’s as utterly tacky as you’d expect Lady Gaga to wear it at an awards ceremony.

11. Since spring is the season of flowers, why not spring into the Derby in pink?

“Oh, shit. Seems like I forgot to put on some peacock feathers on this to make it seem more outrageous. Now Cindy’s out there topped with a showgirl’s hat from Las Vegas.”

12. When it comes to derby hats, you can use almost anything, even tablecloths.

Now Now this seems like she's traveling in an exotic land, perhaps during the late 1800s.  Then again, it does look like a creative arrangement of a table cloth.

Now this seems like she’s traveling in an exotic land, perhaps during the late 1800s. Then again, it does look like a creative arrangement of a table cloth.

13. Since the Kentucky Derby is a horse race, it seems appropriate enough to wear a horse’s head for the occasion.

Now that looks like a horse's head you'd get from Amazon or something. Still, seeing it eat roses is kind of creepy if you think about it.

Now that looks like a horse’s head you’d get from Amazon or something. Still, seeing it eat roses is kind of creepy if you think about it.

14. As far as flowers go, the bigger the better.

And this red flower seems to cover most of this woman's hat. Hope some bee doesn't mistake it for the real thing.

And this red flower seems to cover most of this woman’s hat. Hope some bee doesn’t mistake it for the real thing.

15. During the Kentucky Derby some people drink while others seem all corked out.

Let's hope that the corks she used on this hat came from a craft store. Because if not, she might need to go through a Twelve Step program.

Let’s hope that the corks she used on this hat came from a craft store. Because if not, she might need to go through a Twelve Step program.

16. Some people tend to be private about their boudoir while this woman as a miniature version of hers out in the open.

I'm not sure which is more outrageous having a bathroom on your head or all the blue stuff surrounding it. Seriously, it just seems so ridiculous on sight.

I’m not sure which is more outrageous having a bathroom on your head or all the blue stuff surrounding it. Seriously, it just seems so ridiculous on sight.

17. Of course, every look has to go with the right kind of curls.

Now if these curls were any smaller, I would've mistook them for wood shavings. Hope she doesn't run into low doorways.

Now if these curls were any smaller, I would’ve mistook them for wood shavings. Hope she doesn’t run into low doorways.

18. Nothing makes a nice Southern plantation home than a grand staircase.

But when it comes to this woman, the grand staircase is pink and purple as well as on her head. But I don't know if this staircase leads to heaven or nowhere.

But when it comes to this woman, the grand staircase is pink and purple as well as on her head. But I don’t know if this staircase leads to heaven or nowhere.

19. When it comes to the wild Kentucky Derby fashions, even the sportscasters like to show off.

NBC sportscaster Bob Costa looks so stunning in Johnny Weir's white hat. Not sure if it matches his suit though.

NBC sportscaster Bob Costa looks so stunning in Johnny Weir’s white hat. Not sure if it matches his suit though.

20. While some don hats of horse’s heads, others don those of jockeys.

Hope this woman didn't get that head from her job at the DMV. Then again, she seems a bit too rich to have a job there from how that hat is decorated.

Hope this woman didn’t get that head from her job at the DMV. Then again, she seems a bit too rich to have a job there from how that hat is decorated.

21. People come from all over the country for the Kentucky Derby. This woman is from Wisconsin.

And she's wearing her cheesehead coiffure in all its Greenbay Packer glory. Seriously, whenever I see a cheese head, I think of the Greenbay Packers.

And she’s wearing her cheese head coiffure in all its Greenbay Packer glory. Seriously, whenever I see a cheese head, I think of the Greenbay Packers.

22. What better hat for the Kentucky Derby than a straw bonnet of a horse?

Yes, this guy sure looks pretty with a horse bonnet that has pink lilies on its ears. Also, has a rabbit's foot on it for luck. Guess he has money on a horse.

Yes, this guy sure looks pretty with a horse bonnet that has pink lilies on its ears. Also, has a rabbit’s foot on it for luck. Guess he has money on a horse.

23. While the official Kentucky Derby drink is mint juleps, this lady prefers to wear a martini glass.

Well, I'm sure she doesn't drink out of the thing,. But if she does, then she might have a problem.

Well, I’m sure she doesn’t drink out of the thing,. But if she does, then she might have a problem.

24. Just drinking mint juleps with a jockey and horse by his sides.

Seems like the jockey and horse are chilling right by his riding helmet. Let's hope he doesn't have money on a horse and is just there for the fun of it all.

Seems like the jockey and horse are chilling right by his riding helmet. Let’s hope he doesn’t have money on a horse and is just there for the fun of it all.

25. Of course, you always need your hat to match your outfit at the Kentucky Derby.

Looks like this will be Lady Gaga in a few decades. Seriously, I can totally see her wearing something like that an awards ceremony or public appearance.

Looks like this will be Lady Gaga in a few decades. Seriously, I can totally see her wearing something like that an awards ceremony or public appearance.

26. No post on Kentucky Derby hats would be complete without one of a mint juleps.

Of course, that's not a real mint juleps. But it looks pretty crazy yet appropriate at the same time.

Of course, that’s not a real mint juleps. But it looks pretty crazy yet appropriate at the same time.

27. It helps if the fringe on your hat matches the cuffs on your dress.

And she seems to have obtained the fuzzy trim from the rare Truffula tree. Of course, she probably had to spend a fortune on it as we know from The Lorax.

And she seems to have obtained the fuzzy trim from the rare Truffula tree. Of course, she probably had to spend a fortune on it as we know from The Lorax.

28. Pink flowers and black feathers, what can possibly go wrong with that?

I'm not sure if I can call this pretty since it seems to come from something you'd see a Star Trek alien wear. Seriously, the feathers are sticking out of the flowers.

I’m not sure if I can call this pretty since it seems to come from something you’d see a Star Trek alien wear. Seriously, the feathers are sticking out of the flowers.

29. When it comes to hair extensions, you can certainly go wild.

Now this is the kind of Kentucky Derby hat you'd see in a Lady Gaga music video or at a show in Las Vegas. Still, it's quite hideous.

Now this is the kind of Kentucky Derby hat you’d see in a Lady Gaga music video or at a show in Las Vegas. Still, it’s quite hideous.

30. Some flowers just simply go well in a box. Some in planters. And some in hats.

I'm sure the flowers aren't real but they're certainly outrageous compared to the horse. Man, that hat is massive.

I’m sure the flowers aren’t real but they’re certainly outrageous compared to the horse. Man, that hat is massive.

31. I call this look the Las Vegas showgirl.

And the fact this hat is worn by a guy makes it even funnier. Seriously, he's bound to make Native American casino owners pissed off over cultural appropriation.

And the fact this hat is worn by a guy makes it even funnier. Seriously, he’s bound to make Native American casino owners pissed off over cultural appropriation.

32. When it comes to Kentucky Derby hats, some are bound to make other spectators a little uncomfortable.

Yeah, if I was sitting next to a guy with an old timey camera hat and wearing sunglasses, I'd assume he was working for some covert organization. Seriously, he give me the creeps.

Yeah, if I was sitting next to a guy with an old timey camera hat and wearing sunglasses, I’d assume he was working for some covert organization. Seriously, he give me the creeps.

33. Some people enjoy the Kentucky Derby so much that they have to wear Churchill Downs on their heads.

Because why have a hat of a horse's head when you can have one with 2 steeples? Of course, she might poke somebody's eye out.

Because why have a hat of a horse’s head when you can have one with 2 steeples? Of course, she might poke somebody’s eye out.

34. Of course, this woman is setting a record with her LP hat.

Hope the album in question isn't of great quality, music wise. Seriously, I wouldn't want to wast a good album on a hat if I were you.

Hope the album in question isn’t of great quality, music wise. Seriously, I wouldn’t want to wast a good album on a hat if I were you.

35. Hey, I didn’t know that you can wear giant candy wrappers.

Hmm... I know the fashion industry can churn out some crazy shit these days. But I'm not sure if I'd want to be caught dead wearing a candy wrapper hat should a horse run over me at the races.

Hmm… I know the fashion industry can churn out some crazy shit these days. But I’m not sure if I’d want to be caught dead wearing a candy wrapper hat should a horse run over me at the races.

36. Eeek! Is that a spider on her head? Oh, God, take it away!

Sure she may think she's glamorous, but her hat resembles some kind of giant spider that's just escaped from mad scientists laboratory. Wouldn't be surprised if it was radioactive.

Sure she may think she’s glamorous, but her hat resembles some kind of giant spider that’s just escaped from mad scientists laboratory. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was radioactive.

37. With a hat like this, no one will get lost or forget the time.

Unfortunately, this sundial hat isn't 100% accurate. But I'm sure you can see it from a bird's eye view. Or not.

Unfortunately, this sundial hat isn’t 100% accurate. But I’m sure you can see it from a bird’s eye view. Or not.

38. Of course, when looking at her hat, you’d swear to have seen it in a modern art museum. You probably didn’t know it was a hat to begin with.

Nevertheless, wearing a hat like this, and astronauts will be able to track your moves from space. Still, quite hideous.

Nevertheless, wearing a hat like this, and astronauts will be able to track your moves from space. Still, quite hideous.

39. Hey, I didn’t know they had a My Little Pony horse’s head hat. Guess every little girl wants one now.

Well, basically a hat for those who enjoy My Little Pony and The Godfather. Now Rainbow Sparkles will certainly make him an offer he can't refuse.

Well, basically a hat for those who enjoy My Little Pony and The Godfather. Now Rainbow Sparkles will certainly make him an offer he can’t refuse.

40. Now this is the kind of Kentucky Derby hat I’d expect from a Tim Burton film.

From Huffington Post:

From Huffington Post: “Originally designed to be worn by Helena Bonham Carter at the Oscars, this hat has found new life startling horses at Churchill Downs.”

41. What better way to grace the Kentucky Derby than wear a hat made from the precious feathers of your pet macaw.

Of course, it was a Norwegian Blue which is know for its wonderful plumage. But they do have a tendency of pining for the fjords. What? Are you saying that there aren't any parrots in Norway? Well, you obviously haven't seen Monty Python.

Of course, it was a Norwegian Blue which is know for its wonderful plumage. But they do have a tendency of pining for the fjords. What? Are you saying that there aren’t any parrots in Norway? Well, you obviously haven’t seen Monty Python.

42. This guy seems to love roses so much that he had to have some tattooed on his face.

Doesn't stop him from looking like some bum who was hired to wear such a ridiculous hat. Yeah, seems like he's way too covered in roses to appear like a true fan.

Doesn’t stop him from looking like some bum who was hired to wear such a ridiculous hat. Yeah, seems like he’s the kind of guy who attends the Kentucky Derby during his annual day of being in civilization.

43. After the Derby one of them is going to a mad tea party while the other will celebrate Cinco de Mayo by watching The Three Amigos.

Mad tea party or Three Amigos? Oh, what the hell, Three Amigos will always win every time for me. Seriously, that movie is a classic.

Mad tea party or Three Amigos? Oh, what the hell, Three Amigos will always win every time for me. Seriously, that movie is a classic.

44. The Louisville mayor and his entourage.

Nevertheless, Louisville's mayor has an ego about a mile wide. So on Kentucky Derby day, he thinks he's the Pope.

Nevertheless, Louisville’s mayor has an ego about a mile wide. So on Kentucky Derby day, he thinks he’s the Pope.

45. I suppose this is the ice cream lady.

I don't know about you, but she's probably wearing the hat for the money. Bet the ice cream company is sponsoring this horse race, right?

I don’t know about you, but she’s probably wearing the hat for the money. Bet the ice cream company is sponsoring this horse race, right? How else could she wear an ice cream cone on her head?

46. Seems like this woman decided to wear the same outfit she had on during the gala at the modern art museum.

Because how else could her hat resemble a piece of funky colored bacon with springs on it? Seriously, bacon doesn't look like that.

Because how else could her hat resemble a piece of funky colored bacon with springs on it? Seriously, bacon doesn’t look like that.

47. Guess the ladies of the Red Hat Society aren’t wearing anything outrageous.

Oh, my mistake. Actually looks like something the Red Hat Society ladies might wear to a derby in a Dr. Seuss story for some reason. Then again, the feathers are just crazy on this one.

Oh, my mistake. Actually looks like something the Red Hat Society ladies might wear to a derby in a Dr. Seuss story for some reason. Then again, the feathers are just crazy on this one.

48. When it comes to roses at the Kentucky Derby, the bigger, the better.

And it makes you wonder how the rose can be so big and still stay on this woman's head. Seriously, I really want to know that answer.

And it makes you wonder how the rose can be so big and still stay on this woman’s head. Seriously, I really want to know that answer.

49. Some people just want to wake up and smell the flowers.

Some guys just want to wear a hat with the petals surrounding them. Sure this doesn't make you look ridiculous (sarcasm).

Some guys just want to wear a hat with the petals surrounding them. Sure this doesn’t make you look ridiculous (sarcasm).

50. I suppose that this guy is holding the cup.

Sure he may wear it on his head, but think of how many things he's carrying in that. Hopefully, he doesn't have any drugs in them. But I could be wrong.

Sure he may wear it on his head, but think of how many things he’s carrying in that. Hopefully, he doesn’t have any drugs in them. But I could be wrong.

51. Nothing shows your love for the Kentucky Derby than wearing a hat of dangling horses.

Okay, now I don't know about you, but it seems that the horses are dangling from their necks. It's like an equine hanging tree. Seriously, that's messed up.

Okay, now I don’t know about you, but it seems that the horses are dangling from their necks. It’s like an equine hanging tree. Seriously, that’s messed up.

52. When it comes to Kentucky Derby Beer Pong, all the plastic cups have to have roses and mint juleps in them.

Of course, they may be empty for now. But after the Derby, well, I'm sure they'll be filled with booze and be used for beer pong.

Of course, they may be empty for now. But after the Derby, well, I’m sure they’ll be filled with booze and be used for beer pong. Not sure about the roses though.

53. Of course, nothing shows your love for the Kentucky Derby than having your hat made from the feathers of your dead parrot.

Seriously, you have to wonder why people would think that using dead pets for fancy hats is a good idea. Also, this hat is beyond hideous, but here it is.

Seriously, you have to wonder why people would think that using dead pets for fancy hats is a good idea. Also, this hat is beyond hideous, but here it is.

54. Care for a bee in your bonnet?

Hey, I didn't mean literally, but what the hell. I mean it's just an expression. You don't need to take everything literally. Also, that bee is terrifying.

Hey, I didn’t mean literally, but what the hell. I mean it’s just an expression. You don’t need to take everything literally. Also, that bee is terrifying.

56. Can’t decide between 2 hats? Just glue them together and create an awesome megahat, or not.

Yeah, I think the white hat would've been better without the funky blue feathers plucked from a bird in Horton's jungle. Hey, I'm just saying.

Yeah, I think the white hat would’ve been better without the funky blue feathers plucked from a bird in Horton’s jungle. Hey, I’m just saying.

57. Finally, a hat with nothing unusual.

Oh, wait, that's Joey Fatone from the 1990s boy band NSYNC. Still, you kind of wish they had reunion at the Kentucky Derby wearing hats like these.

Oh, wait, that’s Joey Fatone from the 1990s boy band NSYNC. Still, you kind of wish they had reunion at the Kentucky Derby wearing hats like these.

58. Now the bowler hat is fine. The giant cigarette, large gemstone ring, and the fur coat on the other hand.

Seriously, if he's not doing anything illegal or killing people, he's probably a greedy corporate executive who treats his minimum wage workers like shit, is engaging in insider trading, has had a succession of trophy wives, and spends most of his time on his expensive yacht.

Seriously, if he’s not doing anything illegal or killing people, he’s probably a greedy corporate executive who treats his minimum wage workers like shit, is engaging in insider trading, has had a succession of trophy wives, and spends most of his time on his expensive yacht.

58. Who knew that the Ghost of Christmas Present was a fan of horse racing?

Guess a guy whose job is to haunt the dreams of miserly bankers on an annual basis needs some kind of pleasure in life. But still, he looked way cooler in A Christmas Carol.

Guess a guy whose job is to haunt the dreams of miserly bankers on an annual basis needs some kind of pleasure in life. But still, he looked way cooler in A Christmas Carol.

59. Knowing that it was expected to rain in Louisville during the derby, Cyndi Lauper decided to dress accordingly.

Yes, that Cyndi Lauper. Yes, that hat resembles a UFO. And yes, it also doubles as an umbrella. Any questions?

Yes, that Cyndi Lauper. Yes, that hat resembles a UFO. And yes, it also doubles as an umbrella. Any questions?

60. Of course, this gigantic pink rose doesn’t make her hat look in any way cartoonish.

Uh, yes. it does. In fact, it makes the other gigantic flower hats look normal in comparison. Seriously, you'd swear it was genetically engineered by Monsanto.

Uh, yes. it does. In fact, it makes the other gigantic flower hats look normal in comparison. Seriously, you’d swear it was genetically engineered by Monsanto.

61. May I present to you, the Green Bay Packers Ladies’ Auxillary.

Now regular cheese heads are one thing. But pink cheese heads?  Now that's really fucked up. Guess they really wanted to show their love for the Packers and wear hats that matched their outfits.

Now regular cheese heads are one thing. But pink cheese heads? Now that’s really fucked up. Guess they really wanted to show their love for the Packers and wear hats that matched their outfits.

62. Now here is a hat in glorious purple.

From Huffington Post: “There was this giant purple monster with feathers and it was chasing me through my old high school.”

63. I’m sure those bright pink feathers will make any Kentucky Derby hat look gorgeous.

I'm sorry but I was wrong. It just looks like something you'd buy at a Halloween costume store, particularly if it comes with a matching pimp suit.

I’m sorry but I was wrong. It just looks like something you’d buy at a Halloween costume store, particularly if it comes with a matching pimp suit.

64. After the derby, this guy plans to take part in some secret cult ritual involving horses or something. Or maybe he’s just wearing a horse’s head.

Of course, it's bound to bring some traumatizing memories for people who woke up next to a horse's head in their beds. Kind of disturbing if you think about it.

Of course, it’s bound to bring some traumatizing memories for people who woke up next to a horse’s head in their beds. Kind of disturbing if you think about it.

65. Of course, when it comes to hat decorating, some people just don’t know when to stop.

Let's hope Churchill Downs has high doorways so she doesn't run into something. Still, if she was a man, you'd think she was compensating for something.

Let’s hope Churchill Downs has high doorways so she doesn’t run into something. Still, if she was a man, you’d think she was compensating for something.

66. This woman is certainly an accomplished hunter for she had to shoot a lot of birds to make a hat like this.

Of course, when it comes to pheasant shooting, this lady tends to use a machine gun by the looks of it. Still, maybe she should've stuck to something more suited for spring.

Of course, when it comes to pheasant shooting, this lady tends to use a machine gun by the looks of it. Still, maybe she should’ve stuck to something more suited for spring.

67. Nothing shows your love for the Kentucky Derby than a hat with a horse’s head in a top hat on a platter.

I don't know about you but I'm starting to get the kind of My Little Pony meets The Godfather vibe again. I wonder why. Still, it has some pretty disturbing implications if you ask me.

I don’t know about you but I’m starting to get the kind of My Little Pony meets The Godfather vibe again. I wonder why. Still, it has some pretty disturbing implications if you ask me.

68. Of course, if it should rain in Churchill Downs, then I’m sure I’d like to get under this guy.

Nevertheless, if there be showers, this guy will certainly be very popular. I mean wearing a hat like that would make any guy a one man mobile pavilion.

Nevertheless, if there be showers, this guy will certainly be very popular. I mean wearing a hat like that would make any guy a one man mobile pavilion.

69. I see that the horses are about to leave the gates.

My mistake. That's just a guy's hat. Yeah, I know it's weird. But he really seems to be a big horse racing fan by the looks of it.

My mistake. That’s just a guy’s hat. Yeah, I know it’s weird. But he really seems to be a big horse racing fan by the looks of it.

70. Won’t you give another mint julep for this Fairy Godmother?

Seriously, she went through all that trouble to get Cinderella to the ball. So she really can use a break. And so what if she likes to bet on horses and get drunk on mint juleps afterwards?

Seriously, she went through all that trouble to get Cinderella to the ball. So she really can use a break. And so what if she likes to bet on horses and get drunk on mint juleps afterwards?