The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much – Questionable Death Verdicts

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 4, 2014

While everyone arrives in this world one way, there are plenty of ways for people to die, just ask the people who do the Darwin Awards. Still, while determining a deceased’s cause of death may be easy in most circumstances especially if we’re well acquainted with them, some aren’t so straightforward. Then there are the cases in which cause of death is highly debatable as well as some that are ruled as one thing but seem almost entirely another. Without further adieu, here are some of the more questionable death verdicts from officials in real stories, historic examples, and urban legends.(I don’t include people who died from mysterious circumstances under modern dictators because we probably know what happened to them. I won’t do recent cases either).

1. The deceased: Bekhter, the ambitious half-brother of Temujin (a. k. a. Genghis Khan as we know him).

Official Cause of Death: Hunting Accident

Reason to suspect otherwise: One source argues that Temujin and his brother Kasar killed Bekhter in which it says that he spied on their outcast family for the Tayichiut tribe who threw them all out a few years ago and hunted Temujin. Also said to have a brother named Begutei who was his half-brother’s loyal friend and assistant. You also have to consider that Temujin’s father was poisoned when he was nine years old and the tribal politics of the day in which such incidents probably weren’t that uncommon.

Probability: Since this was the 1100s – 1200s in Mongolia we’re talking about, we really can’t be sure. Could be a number of things. Mongols didn’t lead easy lives. Also, hunting was a way of life for them.

Verdict: Indeterminable.

2. The deceased: William II (Rufus), King of England from 1087-1100

Official Cause of Death: Hunting Accident in the New Forest with a crossbow bolt to his lung.

Reason to suspect otherwise: William was a ruthless king (of course most medieval kings had to be) and not well liked from the nobles. Also, it’s said that his hunting buddies abandoned him right afterwards and his body was discovered a few days later by peasants and brought back. Then you have his youngest brother the soon-to-be Henry I Beauclerc who may have been itching for the throne and said to receive cash from his father William the Conqueror instead of the usual land holdings, figuring the kid would eventually end up with everything anyway. Apparently he did. Also, wasn’t uncommon for medieval kings to be killed by family members. May seem a little too convenient.

Probability: Hmm…Well, William did die while he was certainly out hunting with his buddies and they did abandon him. Then again, they may have left him in the New Forest out of being worried about their old holdings. A king’s death might put their feudal claims in jeopardy.

Verdict: Indeterminable.

3. The deceased: An Englishman found in his apartment decapitated by a chainsaw.

Official Cause of Death: Accident for the British police ruled his death as “not suspicious.”

Reason to suspect otherwise: Well, an article says that he was the last tenant in a remaining block of apartments set to be cleared for redevelopment. Also, chainsaw decapitation is usually not self-inflicted.

Probability: Though there have been people who decapitated themselves with a chainsaw in the Darwin Awards (requiring a rare exceptional level of stupidity). So it’s possible but highly unlikely.

Verdict: I’m fairly 99.9% sure this was murder just by the chainsaw decapitation alone.

4. The deceased: A Russian man fished out from a river wrapped in sellotape and stuffed in a large zipped up sack.

Official Cause of Death: Russian authorities say that the man was standing on a bridge unreeling sellotape. During a sudden gust of wind, the sellotape wrapped against the man resulting in him losing balance and falling over the rail right into the sack hanging on to it. The current dragged the sack downstream after it sunk with the slider caught on a snag and fastening itself. Totally accidental.

Reason to suspect otherwise: That the official version makes less logical sense than supposing he’d been murdered by the Russian organized crime syndicate or by the police who made up this bullshit (since Russia is notorious for having a corrupt police force and that people have dashboard cameras to use as evidence). I think a better death verdict would be that someone seized the man, wrapped him in sellotape and stuffed him in a sack which was fastened before being thrown into the river to drown. Also, why the hell would a guy be unreeling sellotape on a bridge and how could a gust of wind result in the sellotape unwrapping itself? And how could that guy just so happen to fall into a sack which fastened itself? Jesus Christ!

Probability: I don’t know if any medical examiner in the US would look at such a case without suspecting a possible mob hit. I can’t think how such a death could be accidental.

Verdict: Murder. I mean isn’t it obvious?

5. The deceased: Giuseppe Pinelli, suspect of the Piazza Fontana Building, who jumped out of a window after saying “It’s Anarchy’s End!”

Official Cause of Death: Italian police ruled accident.

Reason to suspect otherwise: Well, he kind of made a rousing exclamation before jumping out a window while being a bombing suspect. I would suggest he jumped to his death on purpose to evade capture. Suicide.

Probability: How could anyone actually jump out of a window by accident? Other than a construction worker or something?

Verdict: Most likely a suicide.

6. The deceased: A British spy who who had missing for two years found dead by asphyxiation with a padlocked duffel bag in his bathtub.

Official Cause of Death: One theory says it was a warped case of erotic asphyxiation in which the guy wormed his way into the duffel bag, zipped it all the way up, and padlocked it.

Reason to suspect otherwise: The guy was found like this after being missing for two freaking years! If he really did die by erotic asphyxiation, I think the police would’ve gotten to him a lot sooner wouldn’t they? My guess is that the person with him probably stuffed him in a duffel bag, zipped it all the way up, padlocked it so he wouldn’t get out, and left him there after throwing him in his bathtub. And being a spy, the motives for killing him are endless.

Probability: Well, some people do have kinky sex lives and tend to do kinky stuff solo but really? If he was playing a sex game, surely he wouldn’t be missing for two freaking years!

Verdict: I don’t know about you, but it looks like murder to me.

7. The deceased: Russian Prince Dmitry, youngest son of Czar Ivan the Terrible and possible heir to the throne after his death during the reign of Boyar (noble) Boris Godunov. Found stabbed in the woods at eight years old.

Official Cause of Death: According to Godunov and his official investigators said he accidentally slit his own throat during a seizure.

Reason to suspect otherwise: For one, he was found with a slit throat in the woods. Second, since he was Ivan the Terrible’s son (even though the Russian Orthodox Church saw him as illegitimate) he would have a much better claim to the throne than Boris Godunov (who was only Ivan’s daughter-in-law’s brother). And he had been exiled when Boris became de facto ruler after Ivan’s death. Also, many Russian historians theorize this (since Boris Godunov is a celebrated major figure in Russian history). Not to mention, killing royal brats isn’t very uncommon in Russian history (look at the Romanovs during the Russian Revolution and like Anastasia, Dmitry, too, had his string of impostors).

Probability: Of course, there is a theory he might’ve had a seizure while playing a Russian knife game svaika (don’t try this at home) with him holding the blade toward his neck, but most epileptics experience seizures with their palms wide open making self-infliction highly unlikely.

Verdict: Given the circumstances, it seems more likely Boris had Dmitry assassinated.

8. The deceased: Two teenage boys run over by a train in rural Arkansas.

Official Cause of Death: According to the local coroner, these kids got run over by a train while passed out stoned after smoking two dozen marijuana joints. So totally accidental.

Reason to suspect otherwise: This has been disputed by the train conductor and a second autopsy. The train conductor said that the boys were lined up perfectly parallel to each other so intoxication was highly unlikely. A second autopsy noted that there was barely any marijuana in the boys’ systems and that one of them may have already been dead when the train hit them, suggesting they may have been killed elsewhere and placed on the track to make their deaths look like an accident. Seems like murder to me.

Probability: Of course, people do get run over by trains all the time (I’ve known a few who have). This situation with the boys seems too cut and dry like it was something from Double Indemnity (and yes, that movie involved killing a guy and having him fall off from a train).

Verdict: Murder, plain and simple.

9. The deceased: Abie “Kid Twist” Reles dead after falling out of a window at the Half Moon Hotel in Coney Island in 1941

Official Cause of Death: Police charged with “protecting” him said he fell out the window while trying to get away.

Reason to suspect otherwise: Reles was in the process to testify against his bosses at Murder Inc.- sending several to the electric chair. Seems more plausible that the police may not have been so helpful and probably pushed him out the window or they weren’t doing their jobs.

Probability: Highly unlikely because it seems to have some similarities on how Eva Marie Saint’s brother died in On the Waterfront (and he was also set to testify).

Verdict: Murder, obviously.

10. The deceased: A man found decapitated in Arkansas.

Official Cause of Death: According to a medical examiner, died of perforated ulcer and that a dog ate his head. Still, ruled it as perfectly natural causes.

Reason to suspect otherwise: Decapitation kills a person a lot quicker than a perforated ulcer. I mean, isn’t it obvious. Also, dogs don’t normally eat human heads, unless they’re zombie dogs.

Probability: How does one die of a perforated ulcer after being decapitated? Oh, wait, he doesn’t because he’s already dead by decapitation.

Verdict: Obviously murder. The medical examiner is an idiot.

11. The deceased: King Cleomenes of Sparta, found dead with flesh carved from his legs, hips, and stomach with a bloodstained knife lying next to him.

Official Cause of Death: Everyone agreed he killed himself.

Reason to suspect otherwise: Where to begin? Well, he was exiled for bribing a Delphic Oracle. He intimidated his way back to power threatening rebellion but was accused of insanity by his half-brothers and put in the stocks. Oh, and his skin was carved.

Probability: Really? Does someone really flay their own skin? I don’t think so.

Verdict: Most likely he was murdered and no one wanted to lose theirs since Sparta executed people for saying that.

12. The deceased: A female US Army private who was raped.

Official Cause of Death: According to the Department of Defense, she committed suicide. Their report says she punched herself in the face which resulted in loose front teeth and a broken nose, mutilated her genital area before being douched with acid. After that, she poured a combustible liquid on herself before setting herself on fire and inflicting a shot in her head. She survived long enough to drag herself to a KBR contractor leaving a bloody trail all the way and setting setting his tent ablaze to cover up her own self-inflicted crimes.

Reason to suspect otherwise: It makes more sense that she was raped and murdered by a KBR contractor who shot her in the head an poured gasoline on everything before setting his tent on fire. Seems like too much overkill to be a suicide. It’s not that complicated. Clearly someone must be covering up for KBR at Department of Defense.

Probability: Seriously, this doesn’t hold up to any logic in reality to be a suicide since suicides only require relatively few actions. Besides, no one would put him or herself through that kind of self-mutilation.

Verdict: Rape and murder, obviously.

13. The deceased: French admiral, Pierre-Charles Villeneuve found dead in 1806 at the Hotel de la Patrie in Rennes with seven stab wounds to the chest.

Official Cause of Death: Suicide.

Reason to suspect otherwise: For one, this guy is most famous for losing the Battle of Trafalgar. Also, one stab wound might seem like suicide but seven? Really that’s kind of overkill.

Probability: It’s pretty impossible for someone to stab themselves seven times in the chest. Also, he probably had plenty of people angry with him.

Verdict: Murder.

14. The deceased: Officer Terrence Yeakey.

Official Cause of Death: Suicide. Said he slashed his own hands and throat, crawl a mile or so of rough terrain, and shot himself in the head with the revolver pointing downwards from a distance to get no powder burns.

Reason to suspect otherwise: For God’s sake, the guy was lying dead with slash throat and wrists as well as a bullet to the head with a revolver aimed downwards at considerable distance. Either the guy had extendable elastic arms or was obviously murdered. Also, they didn’t find a gun at the scene of the crime. Also, you couldn’t crawl a mile in rough terrain after slashing your own wrists and throat.

Probability: Highly unlikely that anyone could commit suicide in such fashion.

Verdict: Murder.

15. The deceased: Earl Little, Baptist lay preacher and father of Malcolm X.

Official Cause of Death: Ruled as a suicide in which Little shot himself in the back of the head and tied himself to a railroad. Some say it was a streetcar accident.

Reason to suspect otherwise: Let’s just say, Malcolm X had a good reason to be angry at whites since he had a very shitty childhood which deeply affected him as an adult (though he didn’t advocate violence and was willing to work with Martin Luther King Jr.). His father was a very big influence in his early life and had been active in black pride movements as well as admired Marcus Garvey, though he died when Malcolm was six. Not to mention, various members of the Little family may have been frequent targets of white violence (like Malcolm’s three uncles) and the family had moved three times because of threats from the KKK and the Black Legion. Also, while there was a gunshot wound, there was no gun.

Probability: Malcolm and his family never really believed that Earl died in an accident or killed himself and I might want to take their word on it.

Verdict: Murder, which was probably racially motivated.

16. The deceased: Alexandre Stavisky, early 20th century French embezzler. Found dead from a bullet wound in 1934.

Official Cause of Death: Officially ruled as a suicide. One satirical newspaper said, “Stavisky committed suicide by a bullet which was shot at a 3 meter range (about 10 feet). That’s what you get when you have a long arm.” (a French expression for wielding a lot of wealth and influence.)

Reason to suspect otherwise: The guy was involved in a scandal pertaining to him making deals with government officials and some newspapers have speculated he was shot by police. Also, the guy was killed by a bullet fired ten feet away from him.

Probability: You can’t kill yourself firing a bullet ten feet away from you. There’s just no way.

Verdict: Murder, obviously.

The Cinematic Guide to War

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 20, 2013

War is a very frequent occurrence in movies and present in many genres including action, science fiction, history, fantasy, westerns, adventure, and others. I may not be a military genius, but since I studied history in college, I can say I have a better idea of battle strategy than perhaps the average person. Yet, whether I may have a better understanding than people who play video games is another matter. Still, I know a dumb mistake in war when I see one but there are plenty of people in Hollywood who portray otherwise careless tacticians into tactical masterminds (yet, given they may be considered thus in the context of their times). Also, real wars don’t happen like they do in the movies. Still, you have plenty of moments in war movies in which one side wins the battle on tactics and strategy that would otherwise slaughter them or cause a retreat and plenty of things you either see or don’t see in war that don’t conform to facts. So here is a list of battle strategies and tactics you find a lot in movies which may let the hero succeed but will get a lot of real life soldiers killed or aren’t consistent with real war at all.

1. A great move against your enemy is hiding in a giant wooden wheeled animal that you present to your foe as a token of your surrender before launching a surprise attack behind enemy lines when nobody’s looking. (To be fair, this is how the Greeks won the Trojan War in The Iliad but still, I don’t think the Trojan Horse strategy could really work in real life. I mean if my enemy presented me with a giant wooden horse, I think I’d be very suspicious and so would anyone else with any sense of rationality, especially if you’ve heard Homer’s story.)

2. A tense battle can be won with the light cavalry charging in the middle of enemy lines. (Charge of the Light Brigade, anyone? Still, if you want to charge with cavalry, you’re better off using a heavy cavalry since their attacks have the power, reach, or sheer momentum to penetrate enemy that those of light cavalry lack. Besides, light cavalry are only used for flanking. The disastrous loss of life is what makes the Charge of the Light Brigade so memorable {that and the poem by Tennyson} and why people may not even know anything about the Charge of the Heavy Brigade was successful in the Battle of Balaklava.)

3. The side with the better weapons technology usually wins. (Weapons technology isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be, though it does help considerably. However, just because your side may have the latest in military technology, doesn’t mean victory in battle. For instance, you may have guns but if your side is significantly outnumbered, your guns won’t help you. Look at Custer at little Bighorn. Besides, Europeans may have had more technologically advanced weaponry than the Indians, but they probably wouldn’t have been able to colonize so easily if it weren’t for the European diseases they brought with them. For God’s sake, Europeans used muskets while many Indian tribes used bows and arrows.)

4. Friendly fire hardly ever happens during combat. (Friendly fire happens all the time during combat, especially in battles you can’t distinguish those on your side or your enemies as well as involving gunpowder. Sure it’s dumb mistake but it happens all the time regardless of historical period. Of course, you also got “fragging” which is known as friendly fire done on purpose and yes, it can be distinguishable from plain friendly fire.)

5. The side with superior numbers wins. (Usually, yes, but numbers aren’t always everything especially when you consider tactics and strategy involved. Guerrilla warfare can be especially handy strategy when faced with superior numbers as long as your side is on defense. Still, wars have been won by sides with smaller troop counts.)

6. Fighting out of formation and dueling soldiers unsupported aren’t dumb battle mistakes if you’re not using weapons with repeating ammunition. (You see this happen all the time in movies. Look, unless your civilization is in the Bronze Age or fights with weapons with repeating ammo, fighting out of formation and dueling soldiers unsupported is usually not a good idea or serves as a sign that something has gone totally wrong. Any ancient Greek or Roman would tell you this. Not to mention, the Spartans were adamant about their soldiers having their shields with them at all times, even in death so they would certainly have fought in formation. But you wouldn’t know that from 300.)

7. Medieval wars were usually fought with flaming arrows. (Well, using flaming arrows isn’t really a bad idea but they weren’t as often used as medieval movies claim it to be. I mean before you can set the arrows on fire, you had to wrap them in a flaming material first which may make them heavier, reduce their range, and inhibit its ability to penetrate the enemy’s skin. Also, may pose as a fire hazard. So flaming arrows wouldn’t be a handy way to kill someone and medieval soldiers didn’t use them to do so. Yet, whenever they did use flaming arrows, it was usually to frighten the enemy, letting archers know how to adjust their shots, and setting targets on fire.)

8. If you’re playing offense in a medieval battle, always assault the castle first. (Not a good idea. In the medieval world of warcraft, storming a castle was usually done as a last resort, and even then, it usually resulted in a bloodbath to the invaders and would probably not be successful. Not to mention, storming the castle through the front door spelled instant slaughter for invaders {if they did enter the castle, it would usually be through the toilets which wouldn’t be safe either}. Most medieval armies just surrounded the castle and put it under siege cutting it from all avenues of reinforcement until the residents surrender. And even in the most successful of circumstances, these could take years.You could easily see why many royals and nobles built these things.)

9. Castles are usually easy pickings whenever the resident adult males are away. (If you think you could easily take castles in which the resident nobles occupying it are women and children, think again. Women of noble or royal birth in the Middle Ages had sufficient knowledge of warfare and combat training for defending their turf while their men were away. Also, many tradesmen of the era had their wives helping them in their craft so women armorer is possible. So the medieval notion of damsel in distress was probably a myth unless she’s trapped in a castle and being besieged by a force significantly outnumbering her. In that case, you might want to bring reinforcements.)

10. Open field, Napoleonic-style infantry battles will always work even with advanced weapons technology. (Part of the reason why the North had tremendous success later in the American Civil War with generals like Grant, Sherman, and Sheridan is that they deliberately ignored them while many Confederate generals didn’t. Still, regardless of battle tactics, the American Civil War is still the bloodiest one fought on American soil. And this was when Napoleonic-style open field infantry battles were the prevailing military strategy of the day. Also, this was tried at the beginning of World War I. Didn’t work. Sorry, Napoleon, but your military strategy formulas are now obsolete.)

11. Modern warfare can be fought with soldiers only carrying small arms. (No right thinking general wouldn’t even think of sending his or her army into battle without aerial or artillery support. No one would wage a war with just small arms unless they simply have nothing else).

12. Firing as much ammo as possible in the face of anti-armor or anti-air attacks is the best option, especially when firing against a single, agile target. (In the twenty-first century, a simple guided missile will do and so will any time period since its invention. In any setting with gun-wielding soldiers before the invention of the Colt pistol or repeating rifles, this is a waste of ammo.)

13. Don’t fire unless you see the whites of their eyes, even if your guns can shoot beyond visual range. (If you have a weapon that can shoot beyond visual range in a combat zone, use it. Also, if your country has weapons that aren’t beyond visual range, simply don’t fight unless at defense.)

14. It should be seen as common courtesy for the henchmen take on the hero one by one for no clearly explained reason or let the main villain take care of him or her. (Henchmen would achieve much more success if they would just gang up and attack the hero all at once, except if he or she is a wizard.)

15. Only cowardly officers retreat their forces and only cowardly soldiers run away from battle. (On many occasions, leaving a combat zone tends to make perfect sense, especially if everyone around you is getting killed. Also, when it comes to retreats, they usually mean that the officer usually cares about the lives of his or her soldiers than about the outcome of the battle especially if it’s a no-win situation. And they call that cowardice?)

16. Air and space battles are conducted like a Battleship game. (Actually are conducted in three dimensional settings with airplanes willing to hit each other at odd angles. Two dimensional air and space battles are usually portray because they are much easier to show.)

17. When making an attack, it’s always best to wait until the last minute to make a maneuver. (If you’re facing the enemy or an opponent and this isn’t a turn based strategy game, attack now because the enemy certainly will.)

18. Always put your general at your front lines. (As long as him or her fighting is a major part of your strategy or how war in your culture is waged.)

19. Best trained soldiers are those who have been through programs that actively kill, injure, or psychologically destabilize recruits. This is especially helpful if you have a sadistic drill sergeant and a scientist with a drug or technology to keep them alive. (Sorry, but though soldier training programs may be harsh by most civilian standards, they are specifically designed to break down recruits and turn them into competent disciplined soldiers. Hurling them with unnecessary abuse to the point of death, injury, or insanity does not make effective soldiers and is usually avoided. Else, cue to the Monty Python Kamikaze Scotsman sketch where practically every recruit kills himself to complete training. Also, Sparta trained their soldiers this way and their methods eventually came back to bite the Greek city-state in the end.)

20. Always count two to three seconds before throwing a grenade after pulling the needle. (Since grenade fuse could never be precise after you pull the grenade just throw it somewhere where it is least likely to cause injury or else, you may get your hand blown off if you count to two or three seconds. Better yet, make you know where you want to throw a grenade before you pull the needle.)

21. Specialized soldiers are always the best soldiers. (It’s better that you have soldiers who can use almost any weapon or operate any vehicle within the branch.)

22. Collateral damage is nothing you should be concerned about. (Oh, yes, it should be an issue because if you’re fighting in another country, any collateral damage from attacks won’t make the locals happy with you. Also, might even hurt people in your own force.)

23. Strafing is often a simple procedure with hitting ground targets. (Sorry, but it depends on the target, aircraft type, the pilot’s experience, defenses, and other targets. That’s why using military drones is controversial practice.)

24. Battles are fought with no attempt to flank or distract the enemy with covering fire. (Sorry, but real wars just don’t work that way.)

25. Sub-to-sub warfare usually ends when one submarine sinks the other while submerged. (In the long history of submarines, this has only happened once and during World War II when a British sub sunk an German U-Boat. Of course, this only a confirmed case. Most sub-to-sub warfare sinkings usually happened during surface attacks. Submerged submarines have been more likely been taken to a watery grave by either the Bermuda Triangle or sea monsters than by another submerged submarine.)

26. A skilled sniper, gunman, ragtag force, or smaller military force can wipe out a much larger one. (Yes, but to a point but eventually the smaller force will usually end up slaughtered or fighting to the last man. As for those not in a military garrison, best use guerrilla warfare and assault rifles like in Third World nations.)

27. Most war veterans don’t have hearing problems. (Hearing problems are more prevalent among war veterans than any other demographic since many of them were among very loud noises all the time mostly from gunfire.)

28. At a time of war, being a soldier in the Elite and Special Forces usually have the more glamorous jobs. (Glamorous, yes, but let me tell you, if you’re in the military on active duty and care about your life, you’re better off being an average soldier. Face it, being a military Elite has a price, especially at a time of war.)

29. In battle, it’s common for both sides to start in formation and rush at each other at the same time upon collision where any semblance of formation or military discipline vanishes with warriors engaging each other individually. (Formation and military discipline exists to prevent such scenario from happening. If it does, it’s usually a symptom of a force that’s poorly led or disciplined in the first place. Otherwise, such scene results in mass killing and more frequent friendly fire.)

30. If you can’t be seen, you can’t get shot. (In combat professions, concealment and cover are two different things. Concealment doesn’t necessarily mean you’re immune to bullets, it just means your much difficult to hit because you’re less likely to be seen. Also, cover doesn’t make you invisible.)

31. A smaller force with less armor can take a force much larger armored than itself. (Sorry, Zack Snyder, but 300 guys in speedos can’t possibly be willing to kill a force well over twice its size and would’ve been practically obliterated much, much earlier, even if they were totally ripped. Besides, even Spartans knew this and came into battle with full armor.)

32. When it seems that the good guys may not survive, a friendly military force will magically show up. (Sometimes this may happen and sometimes not depending on who you see as the good guy.)

33. Arrow wounds don’t cause serious injuries and are relatively easy to remove. (Actually it depends on what kind of armor you’re wearing whether it be metal or a long silk cape. Still, we have to consider the fact that bows and arrows were the primary range weapons for most civilizations until as late as the 17th century. So yes, an arrow wound can certainly kill you. And if you barely have any armor on you, then being shot by one may make it difficult for you to do anything. This might be because of agonizing pain or your body going into shock. Nevertheless, most of the time removing the arrow is much harder than it looks but simply pulling the shaft out may just leave the arrowhead inside the wound {since shafts and arrowheads weren’t as firmly attached as Hollywood makes them out to be}. Archers would just simply snap the shaft {which is harder than movies make it look since arrow shafts were made from the hardest woods available}, widen the wound either with the knife or wiggling it around. Also, arrow wounds had a strong tendency to be badly infected. Thus, an arrow wound was almost never just a flesh wound.)

On Christmas Cakes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 19, 2013

Of course, you can have cakes for any occasion and Christmas is no exception. However, not everyone either makes a cake for Christmas or buys one at the store perhaps specially made. Yet, while some may seem like works of art as shown above others, well, though may taste good, shouldn’t be presented at any Christmas family gathering. Now I can’t do home made cakes because they never come out the way you intended. Besides, with store bought cakes, you tend to have higher expectations even at your neighborhood Wal Mart or supermarket. So without further adieu here is a list of some store bought Christmas cakes gone bad.

1. Why so sad, Santa?

Not looking very jolly are you, Santa?

2. Is that supposed to be a stocking or a chimney?

Guess it’s hard to make a cake stocking.

3. The five limb gingerbread man.

Seriously, gingerbread men shouldn’t have tails.

4. The candy cane boomerang.

More appropriate for Australia than anywhere else.

5. Night of the living igloo.

Or perhaps this is the dwelling of the abominable snowman.

6. Evil snowman rising out of the cupcakes.

Be afraid, be very afraid for the snowman cometh.

7. Penguin must be having a blue Christmas.

Looks like Christmas isn’t a great time of year for the South Pole.

8. For God’s sake, this is Christmas, not a bachelorette party!

Of course, this may be accidental but still you wouldn’t want it around children. You wouldn’t believe how many cake designs contain these kinds of naughty bits.

9. For God’s sake, you take me for a bell boy!

When we sing “Silver Bells” we don’t mean those silver bells.

10. Even Rudolph has his bad days.

For God’s sake, where’s the North Pole vet when you need him?

11. Yellow snowman?

Looks like Frosty must be the dog’s favorite bathroom.

12. Gingerbread man gone bad.

The punk gingerbread man of your nightmares.

13. Be good for Santa Bear.

Or else you die! Seriously, don’t mess with Santa Bear.

14. Now I see why some people are afraid of Santa.

Take it away, please! I’m begging you.

15. Frosty the Snowman after a car accident.

Resulting in a serious decapitation. Still, there may be a way to get him together if the snow doesn’t melt.

16. Something is not right with this one.

Snowman Santa isn’t in a good mood this year as far as I can tell.

17. I know Santa is the spokesman for Coca-Cola but this is ridiculous.

Especially with having Santa pose naked.

18. Googly eyes snowman head.

What happened to two eyes made out of coal? This is terrifying!

19. Santa must be in shock.

I mean he’s lying flat on his back! Someone get a doctor!

20.Santa is not looking forward to Christmas this year.

Or else is wanting to know who gives him a Christmas present. Also, he’s pretty tired after a long night.

21. What do rubber ducks have to do with Christmas?

Seriously, why have rubber ducks on there? It’s crazy!

22. This is a Christmas tree?

More like a living Christmas bush if you ask me. Kind of creepy with the eyes.

23. I wonder about the creepy penguin chorus.

Perhaps made to spread awareness on climate change.

24. Santa in Crappyland.

The neighborhood has seen better days. Still, it’s all gone downhill.

25. Santa on the holly.

Or Santa on the seaweed as it looks to me.

26. Santa takes care of passed out Rudolph.

I don’t like the look of this one. Also, keep out of reach of children since it borders on bestiality and/or date rape.

27. Frosty the Snow Hulk.

And you don’t want to make him angry.

28. Oh, great, a Santa roast.

This is disturbing. Honestly.

29. Say hello to the Holiday House of Horrors.

Or if Mario and Luigi’s home had a Santa’s head on a spike as decoration.

30. Christmas wouldn’t be complete without homicidal ghost penguins.

This is pretty messed up, please say they’re covered in snow. Please.

For More:

Cakewrecks.com: http://www.cakewrecks.com/

We Wish You a Merry Christmas, on Vintage Christmas Cards

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 18, 2013

Of course, we have vintage Christmas cards all that seem to appear as works of art and hearken to more simpler times. I mean who just can’t resist a card from the olden days before all those crazy Christmas cards with the awkward families and fart jokes. Christmas had a sweet innocence then. Yeah right, because as history major, you eventually learn that nostalgia is overrated. Many either seem to bring sentimental and fond memories of an earlier to your grandparents or perhaps nightmares to your kids. Not to mention, some may also bring great offense to your racial minority friends. And with some you may wonder whether the 1960s drug culture actually began in the 1960s. Still, I can go all I want with the lovely artistry, the cute little kids, and whatever but I know beauty is subjective while it is easy to tell which vintage cards are not ones you’d want to send to your relatives. Now without further adieu, I present to you some of the strangest, tackiest, and creepiest vintage Christmas cards around.

1. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than Santa lending a hand to a woman who’s wasted.

And there’s a dog getting a niff of the stuff.

2. Of course, some people don’t believe in Christmas but that doesn’t mean they belong in these categories.

Seriously, I think some of these guys do celebrate Christmas. Besides, just because you don’t believe in Christmas doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

3. How is it possible to be all right after being in a snowman?

And with that face, I might be questioning that woman’s sexual preferences.

4. Haunted by devils or just hungover?

This guy is going to need therapy during the new year. Also, the skeleton ghost is pretty creepy, too.

5. Rolling an old guy into a large snowball, just nice.

As if harassing the elderly isn’t bad enough.

6. What’s with baking children in pies?

Seriously, can’t anyone see some hint of cannibalism here?

7. These little angels will possess your soul.

Seriously, these are angels? More like creepy little demons to me of every race, creed, and color, no less. Jesus, this is terrifying.

8. These frightful pigs bring tidings of good cheer.

And then kill you in your sleep in retaliation for eating their relatives.

9. Let’s just say, I don’t want to see Santa do ballet.

This is especially terrifying. The kids in this are especially creepy. Also, is that a French flag at the top?

10. Of course, Santa just listens on the party line to know who’s naughty or nice.

And he’s reveling in hearing your conversations like the NSA would.

11. No, you don’t want to be a little teapot.

Nor would you want to be in one either.

12. Of course, I tend to wonder whether Santa was the inspiration for Finding Bigfoot.

And Sasquatch hunters have been lost in the woods ever since.

13. I guess this boy didn’t want an emu for Christmas.

At least she didn’t get a hippopotamus for Christmas.

14. Don’t like the look of the yeti in this picture.

Mountain climber….mmm…..scrumptious.

15. Guess those kids really want those presents from Santa.

You better know they’ve been good this year, Santa, or else.

16. I have a bad feeling about this.

I can seriously hear Santa say, “I have plans for you, Goldilocks.”

17. I know it’s racist but I had to show this one.

Sorry, NAACP, but my collection of bad vintage Christmas cards wouldn’t be complete without a racist one. Still, at least I didn’t use all of them and I know there are a lot of them out there. This one of the least offensive which would’ve been perfectly fine without the racist depiction of a black lady.

18. This cat looks like it’s up to no good.

Cat looks like he’s high on something and I don’t think it’s catnip.

19. Aw, the jester served Christmas dinner to an unfortunate soul.

Unfortunately, he won’t be able to eat it. And when he can, it will be covered with rotten fruit and vegetables or else be rotten in itself.

20. So you mean Santa now has his headquarters on the moon?

Merry Christmas, from space. Seriously, if you have an engine, do you really need reindeer in spacesuits? Also, space igloo?

21. So Santa’s sleigh is pulled by turkeys?

Someone must be getting his or her holidays mixed up.

22. Dog with gun, what can possibly go wrong with that?

Wasn’t there an incident with a dog shooting its owner in Bowling for Columbine?

23. Sure we hung the carolers but they’re still singing.

Ornaments and candle flame must be pissed.

24. Santa brings home the bacon.

Well, he stole a couple of pigs from the elves. Naughty Santa. Seriously, who thought of this?

25. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than an armed frog killing for money.

Just when does amphibious armed robbery and murder have to do with Christmas? This is sick. Guess the dead frog will end up in someone’s biology class.

26. Watch for the spiderweb, cupid.

Else you’d end up as spider dinner, you naked ass angel.

27. For God’s sake what does a jellyfish have anything to do with Christmas?

I mean seriously this picture doesn’t make any sense to me.

28. Nothing like receiving “Seasons Greetings” by a disembodied dog head.

Kind of freaking me out.

29. Or so says the fox.

Saying is pretty good but it’s held by someone who could be from Fantastic Mr. Fox. Still, something doesn’t seem right having a fox hold up a sign.

30. “Peace, Joy, Health, and Happiness” from a mouse on a lobster.

What kind of designer came up with this disgusting idea? This isn’t cute. Maybe for adolescent boys or biology majors, but not for anyone else.

31. Guess reindeer didn’t fly efficiently.

So Santa had to use satellite engines, solar powered.

32. Santa with binoculars, don’t want to know.

I don’t want to know if he’s looking for me.

33. Don’t think this is appropriate for babies.

The lion is especially terrifying. Also, Noah’s ark, really?

34. Seems Santa’s legs are going up in smoke.

Also, why are kids sleeping near the fire. Must be under a carbon monoxide trip upon seeing a vision of Santa. Probably will kill them.

35. Little Santas must be high on eggnog or is it just the designers.

This just defies all explanation. Seriously, little Santas with holly hoops? That’s just freaky, man.

36. Merry Christmas courtesy of the Krampus.

As you might know, the Krampus is a creature known to punish bad children on Christmas. And it seems he’s got a whole legion of brats. He’s not supposed to be nice.

37. Santa always has a bunch of goodies in his sack for all the good girls and boys. Let’s see what he has here.

From Mashable: “Now then, children, let’s see what old Santa’s got for you. How about a Yoko Ono shield and spear set? Or a Punch mannequin? Or a spade? Or a gun?”

38. Be good for Santa Claus, or else!

Okay, okay, big guy. Put the gun down. No need to use any violence in the situation. Yeah, Santa has gone homicidal.

39. He sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when your awake.

I’m having a really bad feeling about what Santa’s doing here. Yeah, I know the job is stressful but he doesn’t seem his jolly old self to me.

40. Merry Christmas, and remember not to piss off Santa this year.

From Mashable: “You know, people often ask me, ‘Santa, what do you do with the children who’ve been bad?’ Here’s the answer: I pretend I’m dead and beat them with a bunch of sticks tied up with a ribbon. Happy Christmas.”

41. Santa might have a big sack of toys but so little room for demands.

Yeah, I’m sure Santa Claus is thinking about getting some more sacks next year so he won’t have to stuff any toys in his boots. That can’t be comfortable.

42. Seems like Frosty the Snowman has a new girlfriend and a new holly mustache.

Not sure if I buy into Frosty’s new look. Doesn’t seem to have the same charm.

43. Sorry, kids, Santa has wrecked his sleigh so he might be a little late getting presents to you this year.

What baffles me is that he’s using a jalopy but it has nothing but trees in the bed. Seriously, shouldn’t toys be in there.

44. Seems like this kid can’t wait to open his presents.

My friends, that is a face of a future psychopath. Will probably grow up to be either a psycho killer or an executive on Wall Street.

45. Merry Christmas from the depressed snowman and the coated angel.

Okay, why are there shamrocks here? That’s for Saint Patrick’s Day. The designers really seem to have their holidays mixed up this year.

46. Season’s greetings from the walking robin family.

Wait a minute, robins usually don’t stay on during the winter, if my knowledge of birds is correct. They’re usually down south. Yeah, this is fucked up.

47. Merry Christmas from, wait, what the hell does a butterfly have to do with Christmas?

I really don’t get this. I mean this looks more appropriate Easter card, not Christmas. Don’t ask me.

48. Merry Christmas from your darling spider girl.

Yes, she’s cute. But come on, Halloween’s over already. Seriously, what the hell do spiders have to to with Christmas?

49. Hop along on Santa’s new ride, a shiny red flying bus.

Of course, the reindeer tagged along just in case the bus broke down or ran out of fuel. Unfortunately, this happened very often.

50. Seems like Santa has instilled child labor. So disappointed.

I’m sure Santa tends to put people on the naughty list for such horrible labor practices. Yet, uses kid labor himself. What a hypocrite.

On the Christmas Nutcracker

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 14, 2013

Of course, we’re all familiar with this Christmas figure from the Tchaikovsky ballet called The Nutcracker which kind goes in the same league with The Wizard of Oz or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Ditto, the music called The Nutcracker Suite. Still, they were said to be given as keepsakes to bring good luck to your family representing power and strength guarding it from evil spirits and danger. That is, according to German folklore. Anyway, while many may view nutcrackers as a festive Christmas decoration while others see them as creepy and demented. Still, though I can show you some of the many designs, I’ll just show you some of the strangest, freakiest, creepiest, and most demented nutcrackers around. So without further adieu, here is the list of freaky nutcrackers.

1. Remember the Wicked Witch of the West’s guards from The Wizard of Oz? Well, there’s a nutcracker of one of them.

And just as scary as the real thing in the movie.

2. Here’s a Peter Pan nutcracker with his doll fairy Tinkerbell.

Peter Pan is always creepy for me regardless of depiction (maybe not the Broadway one though).

3. And for your sweetheart in February, here’s a Valentine’s Day nutcracker.

This one makes me puke. If any guy gave me this, I’d say, “Hell, no!” One ugly nutcracker.

4. If you want to add an Asian flair, here’s a Sumo wrestler nutcracker.

This is actually pretty tacky, but might be offensive to the Japanese who are into sumo wrestling.

5. A hippie nutcracker will certainly bring you back to the 1960s.

And you better buy pot from him or he’ll start to play his trippy music. Then again, maybe the music’s not that bad.

6. Get a Boy Scout nutcracker to show your patriotism and support to these fine young men.

Gives me the creeps just looking at it. I wonder what the Boy Scouts think of these figures. Then again, they’re a more homophobic organization than the military so they probably deserve the creepy Boy Scout figures.

7. If you liked the fairytale, here is a frog prince nutcracker.

And here he is sitting on top of the head of the evil king.

8. Nutcracker Santa goes down a chimney.

And into your kids’ nightmares.

9. And here’s a nutcracker as Satan.

Doesn’t really look like he’d scare he hell out of you doesn’t he? Also, not very tempting.

10. Of course, you’ll always have to get a nutcracker set of KISS.

Or just variations of Svengoolie from MEtv who kind of looks like a fifth member minus the white makeup. Then again, I’m not sure if anyone knows who Svengoolie is.

11. Speaking of rock n’ roll, for those with a heart of burning love, here’s a nutcracker of Elvis.

Elivis? Looks more like Michael Jackson to me.

12. Didn’t know they had a nutcracker of Ivan the Terrible.

Or Vlad the Impaler, I don’t know which. Still, is this supposed to be Russian Santa because I don’t think he’s very jolly.

13. For your Christian friends, you can give them a nutcracker nativity scene.

Joseph doesn’t look too happy here. In fact, he seems pretty pissed off.

14. And here’s a nutcracker from Candyland.

And you better not rip on the way he dresses because he has a battle axe.

15. Also, here are two more Christmasy nutcrackers from the land of the Sugarplum Fairies.

Both of them look pretty creepy to me and a bit overdressed to suit my tastes.

16. What Christmas wouldn’t be complete without a nutcracker of Charles Dickens?

Doesn’t even look like him. More like a deranged Ebenezer Scrooge than anything.

17. And here’s a nutcracker with a bear on its head.

And I think the bear is less scarier than the guy it’s sitting on top of.

18. Looks like Dracula nutcracker looks very angry.

Because he’s so pissed off about Twilight, he’s spilling blood everywhere.

19. Verily, there’s a nutcracker of William Shakespeare.

Kind of creepy in his little fancy pants and balding head, I dare say. Or does methinks I protesth too much?

20. Let’s see Santa nutcracker show us his marionette.

Utterly demented. Seriously, Santa as puppetmeister?

21. Here’s a Dickensian nutcracker of a chimney sweep.

Who also abducts children in his spare time. Seriously, in the early Victorian days, it was young boys who actually cleaned chimneys naked. This guy only supervised the lot.

22. Fly away with aviator nutcracker.

I think I’ll take a pass. Seriously, he looks pretty creepy.

23. For all you ink enthusiast, here’s a tattooed nutcracker.

Intimidating, isn’t it? Not really.

24. Uncle Sam wants you to get this nutcracker.

Doesn’t seem to look very Yankee Doodle dandy, doesn’t he? Seems more willing to draft people instead.

25. For your Irish friends, here’s a nutcracker of a leprechaun.

And don’t you dare try to steal away his pot of gold from under him.

26. Black Forest nutcracker will get his presents this year.

Or else he’ll kidnap your children. Or is it the Dutch Santa, I can’t be sure of which now.

27. And of course, you have to have a Tchaikovsky nutcracker.

Sure he wrote The Nutcracker Suite but looks very threatening nevertheless, especially with the Mouse King in one hand and candle in the other.

28. How about a nutcracker dressed as a Christmas tree?

Looks like a nutcracker in drag than anything to me, especially with the beard.

29. Say hello to the jester nutcracker.

That will give you nightmares as you try to sleep.

30. And here are three glittered nutcrackers from the Candy Cane Forest.

Heard they got in some trouble with the Lollypop Guild. Oh, yeah, they harassed them while they were on strike.

31. And here’s a redneck nutcracker for those blue collar types.

And is willing to use a gun to shoot Bambi like a real one would.

32. Here’s a lawyer nutcracker that is well dressed with a top hat.

Or is he just trying to scare you as a mysterious figure in the snow.

33. Like nutcrackers, Pinocchio is made out of wood so shouldn’t he be a nutcracker, too?

And like many incarnations of Pinocchio (save Disney), it is utterly terrifying.

34. And who can’t be patriotic for having a nutcracker of America’s heroes?

At least he’s dressed like a real soldier but I don’t know about the camo.

35. When there’s something strange in the neighborhood, you have to call a Ghostbuster nutcracker.

Because the ghosts are more afraid of him as you’ll ever be of them.

36. And here’s some garden gnome nutcrackers.

Don’t really look happy, don’t they?

37. Get into a boat with a nutcracker fisherman.

Wouldn’t want to mess with his angling technique, would you?

38. Go down the slope with a skier nutcracker.

But don’t be surprise if he drives you to your death.

39. And here’s the nutcracker fairy ballerina.

But I don’t think I’d want to piss her off if you know what I mean. Still, perhaps Cinderella could do worse than having her as a fairy godmother.

40. Scottish Santa nutcracker doesn’t seem too happy.

But at least he’s not playing the bag pipes. Still, looks pretty pissed.

41. And here’s an Eskimo Santa nutcracker with a seal.

Actually it should be Inuit Santa. Eskimo is an Algonquin word meaning “eater of raw flesh.” Then again, many of the Northern tribes do and so would this one. Still, be glad he doesn’t come with a harpoon gun.

42. Paris shopping nutcracker always goes for the latest styles.

As far as freakiness goes, she kind of gives Cruella de Vil a run for her money, especially with the hair.

43. Be sure to rely on your friendly neighborhood police nutcracker.

Or else he’ll cuff you.

44. And here’s a lovely nutcracker of the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Could also pass as the White Witch of Narnia nutcracker if you’re a fan of C. S. Lewis.

45. What would Christmas be without a nutcracker of Mrs. Claus?

Looks more like a circus clown with pears to me.

46. You certainly don’t want to mess with the nutcracker queen.

And don’t you dare try to criticize her outrageous outfit.

47. And this little blue nutcracker seems royally pissed.

Could also be referred to as Attila the Hun nutcracker or Genghis Khan nutcracker.

48. Relive the tale of Robin Hood through these nutcracker figures.

The Robin Hood one is especially frightening.

49. And here is a nutcracker of the Wizard of Oz.

Looks more intimidating than the one from the movie, especially with the turban.

50. Play ball with this baseball player nutcracker.

Or else he’ll whack you with a baseball bat.

Here Comes Santa Decorations

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 13, 2013

Of course, what Christmas wouldn’t be without the big guy himself, Santa Claus? Every year on Christmas Eve he travels all over the world on his reindeer powered sleight, breaks into people’s houses through the chimney, eats their milk and cookies (or Guinness in Ireland), and leaves presents for the kids. Still, there are many decorations depicting Santa Claus and while some of them may be nice, others may seem to belong in a Stephen King novel. Nevertheless, they come in all shapes and sizes. So you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout because I’m telling you why. Now here is a collection of some of the sketchiest Santa decor you will ever see.

1. This light up Santa figurine will haunt your dreams.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good. So be good for goodness sake.” Or else Santa may kill you.

2. Just because Santa’s sleigh may be pulled by reindeer, doesn’t mean other deer are safe from him.

Sorry, Bambi, be as good as you can, but you still won’t be safe from Santa.

3. Just him and Frosty roasting by the fire or doing something else.

Seriously, you don’t want to know. Also, why is Frosty near a fire?

4. Sometimes Santa just has an accident.

So now he’s hanging on the gutters of someone’s house.

5. Hippie Santa says, “Peace on earth, and rock on, dude.”

So, kids, perhaps you should forget leaving Santa cookies and perhaps leave him some of those special hashish brownies, if it’s legal in your jurisdiction.

6. Looks like Santa hasn’t adjusted to greater air traffic.

And to think him of all people would know better than to crash into a 747.

7. Or vehicle traffic in general.

No wonder Santa would rather enter through the chimney.

8. Looks like Santa has just had a few too many.

A good reason why you shouldn’t leave any alcohol for Santa. But many people do, especially in Ireland.

9. Santa salutes America’s finest.

Seriously, why is Santa wearing camo. And doesn’t he travel to other countries as well? I mean he’s more of an international figure.

10. Hey, even Santa has to relieve himself once in awhile.

Of course, you don’t want to go in there after Santa has done his duty.

11. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than seeing a naked Santa at a pizza place.

Wearing nothing but his hat, socks, and mistletoe on his privates.

12. Of course, sometimes there’s a reason why some kids may be scared of seeing Santa at the mall.

A perfect Santa figurine for Stephen King who probably has one in his house already.

13. Who needs a sleigh when you have a camper?

Doesn’t really have the same ring as sleigh, doesn’t it? Also, he’s sharing it with the reindeer?

14. Cozy up for Christmas with the Hot Santa couch cushion.

Now I understand why Mommy was kissing Santa Claus.

15. Have a Santa Claus toilet set to grace your royal throne.

Now you can have your commode in the spirit of the season while your guests are taking a crap.

16. Why have a red suit when Santa can have Goldfinger’s pajamas?

I think James Bond gave them to him in order to compensate all the bad things he’s done this year. Also, this Santa is pretty creepy and can give kids nightmares.

17. If you don’t have a chimney, you can always give him a ladder for him to climb through the front door.

But would you’d want to risk it with such a flimsy ladder?

18. Of course what wouldn’t your Christmas be like if Santa wasn’t on his white reindeer in a hula skirt?

Seriously, whoever designed this must’ve been on a brown acid trip in Hawaii.

19. Even Santa is quite an angler with the rod and the reel.

Actually doesn’t seem to look much like Santa than as a creepy old fisherman. Still, I’m not sure if Santa is a fishing type.

20. Still, like many Santa can’t resist a John Deere Tractor.

Seriously, why the hell is Santa on a tractor? He lives in the North Pole so I’m not sure he has any use for one.

21. And here’s a sweet lifelike Saint Nick you’d see in your neighborhood drugstore.

There can be such a thing as too lifelike. Also, I’ve seen a lot of these things over this time of year and let me say, they’re not cute. They’re creepy.

22. Would you want this guy leave presents for your kids?

Why is it about certain Santa decorations that makes them so terrifying?

23. Santa as a serial killer? And I thought he was good with kids.

Introducing Santa Claus the Homicidal Maniac. So, kids, be good, or else.

24. Sometimes Santa just doesn’t have anything to wear.

But that doesn’t explain why his pjs look like they’re fresh from a comic book convention.

25. Fill your drinks through a Santa drink dispenser.

Kind of looks like he’s peeing when you press the button.

26. In a galaxy far, far away, children receive their presents from Yoda Claus.

“Been good this year, you have?” said Yoda Claus. “So what for Christmas this year you want?”

27. Even Santa needs to come prepared.

So he can shoot bambi from the watchtower like all the other hunters.

28. Just Santa and the Mrs. taking some time off.

Not sure if I’m all right with seeing them like this, especially without their feet covered.

29. What the hell is Santa holding in his hand?

Looks more like a giant popsicle to me.

30. Even Santa may get the seventh year itch.

You know many parents would object to this. And I’m not sure if we want to see what Santa has underneath. Seriously, why?

Seasons Greetings, on the Christmas Card

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 11, 2013

Of course, one hallmarks of Christmas is known as the Christmas card that people send each other over the holidays. Some may have a letter attached as well as pictures of kids while may be bought from the store. Others might have been designed by the families themselves either specially ordered or used with photoshop or computer. Still, while some cards may be pleasing, others should never be sent. Still, I could go on and on about some of the well designed Christmas cards, but of course, no one wants to see them on the internet (though my sister the art student may differ on hat one). So without further adieu, here is a collection of tacky Christmas cards which I hope to enjoy (and my sincere apologies for the families depicted as I mock their presentations mercilessly but most of these photos are internet public domain anyway while some of them may be intentional).

1. Of course, they wanted to say Merry Christmas but they were too busy on their smartphones during the photo shoot.

So much with technology.

2. Nothing puts the “Christ” in Christmas like a tattooed nativity scene on your back.

Kind of sticks with you, doesn’t it?

3. Trying to juxtapose your love of Star Wars in a Christmas card. Interesting concept….

I think I sense a disturbance in the Force.

4. If the leopard and gazelle scene is symbolic of your family dynamic, I’d suggest you see a therapist right away.

Yeah, just don’t take any card decorating ideas from National Geographic. Besides, people may wonder whether your family is dysfunctional.

5. Sure I may feel the same way but would I put those views on a Christmas card to send to my relatives?

Also, the graphic imagery on decapitation.

6. Mistletoe, appropriate. Missile toe? WTF?

Bad pun intended. Also, not everyone pronounces “mistletoe” and missile toe” the same way.

7. Nothing says “Peace on Earth” than a Christmas card promoting the 2nd Amendment.

Seriously, Christmas is not a time of year to promote gun rights, especially in Newtown. Also, may make others want to vouch for gun control.

8.Having your kids restrained by Christmas lights and duct tape is a great way to get them to sit still for the camera.

Of course, let’s just hope someone from Child Services doesn’t get hold of this.

9. Merry Christmas from the Furries.

I know this is photoshopped but this is pretty strange, especially with a cat Santa and dog reindeer.

10. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” than seeing Santa on a surfboard holding a screaming kid.

If this isn’t photoshopped, this kid is going to be scarred for life.

11. Because our cats walk on two legs and sing in our church choir.

You have to wonder whether this photoshop was done under the influence of drugs.

12. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than using your baby as a reindeer to pull your sleigh.

Must be another drug addled photoshop but still kind of freaky.

13. Because your relatives need to see Dad in a dress from the Renaissance Festival.

If real men wear pink, then Dad must take manliness to a new level. Also, ditto the boy in puffy purple pants and pink shirt.

14. Because there’s nothing more adorable than seeing your little girl trying to ruin a picture by flipping the bird.

Her grandparents must be shocked and devastated upon seeing this.

15. Since your pets usually take the place of your children.

I know many people consider their pets as part of the family but this is ridiculous.

16. Three generations of barbers in ugly sweaters, one of them doesn’t seem to like it.

Reminds me of a poorly done local commercial for some reason.

17. Nothing expresses family togetherness over the holidays like having your Christmas card photo taken from prison.

This is probably one of the nicest ones on this post and you have to give it to them for trying to make the best of the situation even if one of them has been very very naughty. Still, it’s prison and her relatives may wonder if she’s with the right man.

18. Merry Christmas from the guy whose family just left him.

Divorced or single, either way, he doesn’t seem to be having a merry Christmas.

19. Merry Christmas from the single guy with two cats who just wants to go places.

He might have had his picture taken there, but he just didn’t have the money to travel.

20. Trapped in the snow globe.

Seriously, who thinks of these photo ops?

21. Merry Christmas from the white Gangsta Rap fans.

And you wonder why we make fun of white hip-hop fans. This is just cheesy.

22. Seriously, just because you have a computer doesn’t mean you should include it in your Christmas card.

Only the late Steve Jobs would be proud.

23. Merry Christmas from your single neighborhood mailman.

Of course, he wants everyone to know that he has no family, that he knows of. Still, can’t think of such card picture as a thinly veiled personal ad.

24. Nothing says Christmas than your kids being scared of Santa.

There are a lot of card pictures like this if you know what I mean.

25. Seasons Greetings from the fur trapping Iditarod family.

Let’s just hope they don’t know anyone from PETA. I mean imagine their faces.

26. Merry Christmas from America or rural Afghanistan?

Seriously, burqas should never be worn in Christmas cards, especially by non-Muslim women.

27. Because you couldn’t say “Merry Christmas” without your Halloween costumes.

Especially with the parents dressed as freakish clowns.

28. Because little sister couldn’t have the strength to smile during a photo shoot.

Everyone has a limit and this girl is certainly not happy.

29. Let’s hope the baby isn’t being used for Mom’s golfing hobby.

Baby is probably clinging to Daddy’s knee because Mommy is a little tee’d off right now.

30. Nothing says “Silent Night” like duct taping your kids’ mouths shut for the picture.

This will shut up the little buggers.

31. Merry Christmas from Santa’s kidnappers.

To put it this way, guns and Christmas simply don’t mix, end of story.

32. If you’re an expectant couple, I don’t think posing as Mary and Joseph is a good idea.

I may not have much of a problem with the Mary and Joseph costumes, but the caption is a whole different matter. I mean it’s kind of offensive.

33. Christmas in Parentland.

Yeah, baby’s first Christmas is kind of like that.

34. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than costumed bestiality.

Of course, this is probably her way of telling her parents she’s dating a furry.

35. Nothing so ironic than a beautiful angel giving you coal.

Pretty angel, shitty present unless you’re freezing or a miner.

36. Letting baby smoke isn’t going to make you Father of the Year.

Well, as Big Tobacco might say in their corporate meetings, you better get them hooked while they’re young.

37. Didn’t know Alfred Hitchcock made Christmas movies.

It was called The Birds Holiday Special.

38. Nothing expresses family togetherness over the holidays than a family shave.

Seriously, why give a kid a safety razor? Also, I don’t think mom and kid need to shave, unless they have some freak hormone imbalance.

39. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than posing in what you sleep.

Or telling the family Dad either sleeps nude or is an exhibitionist.

40. Merry Christmas from the neighbors you don’t want to mess with.

Just when do little kids have a hairier chest than some adult men? Also, what does martial arts have to do with Christmas?

http://happyplace.someecards.com/12895/the-most-shockingly-bizarre-family-holiday-cards-ever-sent

From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/24/wtf-holiday-cards-30-bizarre-christmas-card-portraits_n_2358943.html

From Cap’n Wacky: http://www.capnwacky.com/holiday/cards.html

From iVillage: http://www.ivillage.com/ridiculously-awkward-holiday-photos/6-b-404528

http://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/inappropriate-holiday-cards/

The Wonderful World of Gingerbread Architecture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 9, 2013

I’m not sure of how the tradition of gingerbread building got started, but for many years people have used it as a small scale building material for houses and other edifices. Of course, there has always been a gingerbread White House every year since the Carter administration but whether it gave rise to such craze is unknown. Still, since the tale of Hansel and Gretel, people probably have been using gingerbread to build houses and such, especially as a Christmas tradition. And there are even gingerbread house contests. Still, gingerbread houses in many ways are a fine line between decoration and food depending on the material composition. However, I can post pictures of many creative and beautiful gingerbread houses but since beauty is in the eye of the beholder I’m going to post gingerbread pieces that would never ever be seen in a saccharine Thomas Kinkade painting, especially houses that are either hideous or don’t tell a pleasant side of the holidays. So here are some of the not so cutesy sentimental gingerbread houses many of you might not have seen.

1. Gingerbread Crack House- a gingerbread house on the wrong side of the tracks.

The closest thing in gingerbread architecture that ever comes close to The Wire.

2.Zombie House- I don’t like the look of that place.

Sometimes in a zombie apocalypse, the zombies are the last thing to worry about, especially if the house is out to eat you.

3. Wrapper House- hard times have fallen many in Gingerbread Town.

The creator may not have intended for the wrappers to make the house look it’s from a poverty stricken neighborhood. But because he or she used wrappers, it kind of does.

4. Gingerbread Prison Yard- where our gingerbread men do hard time.

Where runaway gingerbread go when they’re caught at least by other gingerbread men.

5. Gingerbread Prison- even Gingerbread Town needs a place to put their shady characters.

16146_1195454740017_1637915194_497817_5213361_n

Still, with candy cane fences and barred licorice windows, kind of looks too cute to be a jailhouse. Still, kind of dank.

6. Gingerbread Outhouse- because even gingerbread people at one time needed a place to do their business.

I’m not sure if I want to go in there after Shrek’s done with it.

7. CBGB- has seen better days.

It’s actually a renown music club in Manhattan and looks much nicer than its gingerbread version. But anyone looking at this who doesn’t live in New York City wouldn’t have guessed it.

8. These rednecks make the Grinch look like a boy scout.

Say what you want about the Grinch impersonating Santa Claus, breaking in other people’s houses to steal everything in sight. Yet, at least he’s never shot Rudolph and mounted his head or tie Santa to the top of his trailer.

9. This person really doesn’t like people.

Did I just see a foreclosure sign? Might explain a lot.

10. This is probably Lady Gaga’s dream house.

Wouldn’t be surprised if her house actually looked like that.

11. Even gingerbread houses can fall decrepit nowadays.

Sorry, but I don’t think anyone will buy a house in that shape especially an abandoned one in a bad neighborhood.

12. Guess the residents here aren’t having a good day.

“Come out with your hands up!” shouted the toy policemen.

13. Is that a dead body in the dumpster?

Yes, it is, but I wonder if Marcelli’s Waste Management had anything to do with it? Still, dumpsters aren’t great places to dump murder victims since it’s usually one of the first places police will look and then there’s the garbage men.

14. In the snowy cold, this gingerbread trailer may be the only shelter around.

Yet, even if the light inside means it’s inhabited, that doesn’t explain the boarded window.

15. Yes, even some gingerbread houses have hoarders.

Of course, this may just be the garage. You know how some houses are designed.

16. Of course, there always has to be a gingerbread McDonald’s as there’s one everywhere.

I’m not sure if a McDonald’s gingerbread house is a good idea with all its connotations.

17. This building is certainly not one I’d like to go in.

Seedy hangout, abandoned tourist trap, or whatever, I wouldn’t go in there. Seems pretty sleazy to me.

18. Well, even gingerbread people need a check cash and a liquor store.

Of course, you wouldn’t want either in a decent gingerbread neighborhood. Also, “loans” looks a lot like “coons.” Just saying.

19. Gingerbread Trailer Park- for the low income gingerbread folk.

Trailer: home of the stereotypical redneck. Of course, not good with tornadoes.

20. Yet sometimes housing is more elevated in some locations.

I’m not sure if there are homes like that in real life. Probably.

21. A gingerbread whorehouse? Now I’ve seen everything.

I guess the person behind this wanted to be noticed. Still, would’ve passed for an ordinary gingerbread house if it weren’t for the words, “Welcome to the Whore House” and the presence of gingerbread hookers.

22. Just an old abandoned house.

But it may be on fire but seems time has forgotten about it.

23. Didn’t know Santa and his wife lived in a trailer.

Either that or it’s just they tend to resemble the Clauses.

24. The gingerbread hood.

Always known a “Gentleman’s Club” is now a misnomer. Still, I think that guy owns both of them.

25. The witch’s lair where the windows have eyes.

I think the house is staring right at me.

26. Merry Christmas from the gingerbread Roosevelt Hotel.

For some reason I don’t see palm trees as anything relating to gingerbread or Christmas but maybe that’s just because I live in Pennsylvania.

27. The modern style gingerbread house.

For some reason, I’m sure if gingerbread and some styles of modern architecture mix well. Also, palm trees.

28. Don’t know if I’d want to go there.

Looks like a bad gingerbread neighborhood from what I see here. Also, are those dead bodies?

29. Of course, even gingerbread folk have their dens of sin.

Has to be one in every town, does there? God, almighty.

30. Is this a house, work building, or medical office?

Seriously, I don’t know what this building’s purpose is. Still, reminds me more of a medical or commercial facility than an actual residence.

For More:

http://happyplace.someecards.com/2301/the-most-offensive-gingerbread-houses-ever-made

The Holly and the Ivy, on the Christmas Wreath

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 7, 2013

Whether it be on the front door or on the wall or whether it be crafted or bought, the Christmas wreath has always graced homes everywhere. Of course, they could come in a wide range of shapes and sizes as well as materials. And though some may appear masterfully done, others well, not so much. In fact, some of them may not be very appropriate to grace a house at all at times. Still, this may be a sensitive subject when it comes to tacky wreaths since many probably worked hard on them only to have me graciously mock them. Yet here is a list of tacky Christmas wreaths for all to enjoy.

1. Nothing says “Welcome” or “Peace on Earth” than a wreath made out of shotgun shells with a gun in the center.

To me this says, “You’re an intruder and get the fuck out of here!”

2. Of course, you can try to make one from recyclable materials or garbage.

Sure this may be eco-friendly but it still looks like garbage.

3. A beer can Christmas tree not only is eco-friendly but it will look good on any frat house door.

I’d be wondering if the owner has a drinking problem since he or she has all the beer cans to make a wreath.

4. Yet, if you want something simple, you can go with the ultra modern look.

Somehow when I look at this, I can’t help comparing it to a toilet seat.

5. If you want to protect the earth but not do a lot of work, you may want to paint a tire green and put a bow on it. Simple as that.

Yeah, but I don’t think it looks appropriate anywhere but at a place relating to car service, a hardware store or a dealership. Maybe an Advanced Auto Parts or an Ace Hardware but other than that, probably not.

6. I call this, “The Beer Pong Wreath.”

Because it uses plastic cups and plastic ping pong balls like in beer pong.

7. A CDs wreath will look flashy at any house.

If it’s placed on a single guy’s house, people may question his sexual orientation.

8. This Christmas wreath doesn’t look very happy.

Wouldn’t mess with that wreath if I were you.

9. Behold, the wreath that will give you high cholesterol.

Of course, this is more of a platter than a wreath but you get the idea.

10. Of course, you can use a inflatable wreath to decorate your house and use as a floatation device.

Actually might make a better floatation device, now that I think about it.

11. Then there’s a cork wreath for the wine drinkers.

Like with beer cans, I may also want to be concerned whether the owner has a drinking problem.

12. Need wreath decorations? Well, just use your WWE action figures.

Someone must be too much into studio wrestling.

13. If the tire wreath is too heavy, you can always use the hubcap.

Doesn’t really look like a wreath does it? More like a curved mirror with a bow on it.

14. Still, why not grace your door with Santa’s belt.

Craft O Maniac Christmas wreath blog pic 1

I think I’d rather not.

15. And there can be never such a thing as too many Christmas decorations on a wreath.

I think I’ll beg to differ on this one. Looks like Christmas on steroids.

16. If you like, you can always have your wreath match your lawn ornaments.

This wreath would look fine if it weren’t for the flamingo.

17. A poinsettia wreath will always be inviting to someone’s home.

Looks more appropriate to put on someone’s grave. And believe me, I live near a cemetery.

18. Why throw away your burned out Christmas bulbs when you can make a wreath with them instead?

Still kind of looks flashy as well as tacky, especially with the elf.

19. What better way to greet visitors than with with a Nutcracker wreath?

Somehow the nutcracker in the center doesn’t make this wreath look right for some reason.

20. Of course, if you want to shine, you can always go with the tinfoil wreath.

Actually this never really looks right on anything. Besides, you see stores using these all the time.

Decorating the Christmas Tree

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 7, 2013

A while ago, I had a post about Christmas trees. But this time I’ve reserved this post on Christmas tree decorations. Of course, we always decorate Christmas trees with all kinds of things like lights, toppers, trimmings, ornaments, and others. Many can range from those bought in a store or used as gifts to those homemade or part of a child’s craft project. Many of them may seem to be of great craftsmanship or of sentimental value while others well, may be better off set at the bottom of the tree where your toddler can smash and break so you wouldn’t have to explain its presence later. Also, it would make the tree look better as well. Either way, most people are usually stuck with putting them on the tree year after year. So here is a collection of possible inappropriate Christmas trimmings that should never grace a Christmas tree (well, ones within some bounds of PG-13 decency that is, but I will post links for some of the not so wholesome ones because there’s plenty of Christmas ornaments out there I can’t even post on this blog nor want to).

I. The Lights

1. Now you know how tacky having a leg lamp would be from the movie A Christmas Story, but imagine having a string of them on your own Christmas tree.

If only Ralphie’s dad had his way.

2. Tropical paradise? Well, have a string of illuminated flamingos and palm trees.

Still, palm trees and flamingos lights look tacky on just about everything.

3. For college fraternity Christmas trees, I’d recommend the Budweiser beer can light strand so you can be the life of the party before Christmas vacation.

Seriously, why beer can lights? I can’t understand how they’ll make the tree look less like something from a frat.

II. The Toppers

4. For all you religious freaks out there, here’s a topper of Christ the King in his resplendent white robes and flat-ironed hair.

If it wasn’t for that outfit, I’d mistaken this Jesus for a surfer dude.

5. Nothing says Peace on Earth than topping your tree with a star made out of shotgun shells.

Courtesy of the NRA.

6. For all you Harry Potter fans out there, we have the Sorting Hat tree topper where you find whether your tree will be sorted into Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor.

C’mon there are probably better Harry Potter tree toppers than the Sorting Hat. What about the Golden Snitch?

7. For those tired of the constant Christmas cheer, here’s a crying angel tree topper.

A downer at any Christmas party.

8. Keep annoying guests away with the evil monster tree topper.

And I don’t think I’m kidding here. May also scare little kids and animals.

9. To match one’s Budweiser can Christmas lights, here’s a Busch Angel to top the tree.

Because you couldn’t afford to buy an actual angel to top the tree.

10. For those sick in their minds, here’s an eyeless baby tree topper for the season.

Seriously, this one is creeping me out, especially with its Christmas light eyes.

11. If Busch Angel doesn’t seem your fancy here’s a Bud Light Tree Star.

O, little town of Beerthlehem.

12. Why have the Grinch steal Christmas if he can be on top of your tree instead?

Looks like his mind is up to no good. Also, it’s just his head.

13. For dog lovers, here’s a dog angel tree topper.

Look, I know all dogs go to heaven but this is ridiculous.

14. For your secular humanists out there, here’s a tree topper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Because a Flying Spaghetti Monster tree topper will make your Christmas tree look tackier than your Christian friends.

15. Seriously, oh, God, no! A Justin Bieber tree topper.

And he has to be depicted as an angel? Is there no decency here, Lord?

III. The Ornaments

16. Have a Wunderbar Christmas with these Swastika ornaments on your very Nazi tree your Furher can be proud of.

Seriously, how could these ornaments even exist? I mean no one wants Christmas ornaments promoting anti-Semitic hate speech.

17. There’s nothing like having an armed fetus as your Christmas tree ornament to make a stand for your traditional American values.

Because even fetuses should be entitled their Second Amendment rights. Couldn’t resist on that one.

18. Nothing can traumatize your kids more than seeing Santa with a thong.

Oh, God why? This is disgusting.

19. Or Santa kidnapping naughty children in his sack.

This probably came from the Netherlands, just look up David Sedaris’ 6 to 8 Black Men on Google.

20. Or Winnie the Pooh in a bikini.

This is so wrong on many levels.

21. Or the Krampus.

Seriously what’s a Krampus? And do I want to find out?

22. Didn’t know what Santa wore under his red suit.

Feeling a little bicurious, are you Santa?

23. What girl wouldn’t refuse putting a sexy merman on her tree?

Seriously, what’s sexually appealing about mermen? I don’t understand it.

24. And for those down South, here’s some flamingo ornaments.

Like I said, flamingo decorations are always tacky.

25. Stuffed ornaments: so adorable even if they are fragments of bodily waste.

Now that I think about it, it’s kind of disgusting.

26. I’ll let the ad speak for itself.

I could never say it better myself.

27. Why not have your Christmas baubles double as billiard balls?

I just hope these are as sturdy as real billiard balls if you decide to play pool with them.

28. Let’s have your Chimney Charlie rise from your chimney.

Because no one wants to see a shirtless Santa.

29. And here’s Jesus up your chimney in a crown of lights to mark the suffering his birthday has experienced with secularism and commercialism.

Sacrilegious on so many levels.

30. What more can you have on your Christmas tree than the daughter of Chucky?

Well, you have to agree with me that she bears a certain resemblance. Of course, this is what you get when you mate Chucky with a troll doll.

31. Now you can be sure your nutcrackers support America’s Football Team.

Seriously, the Dallas Cowboy’s aren’t America’s Football Team. It’s just what they and their fans call themselves.

32. Of course, your dead Santa head is a fine addition for your Nightmare Before Christmas Party.

On second thought, probably too scary for that.

33. And here’s the Nutcracker’s Kentucky cousin Bubba.

A redneck nutcracker, how…..I’m at a loss for words here.

34. What more can you ask for than a lovely catfish on your tree?

Actually this is way more disturbing than the real thing.

35. A reindeer can never be overdressed.

Not only is this outfit bad for reindeer but it’s also a fire hazard.

36. See the baby Jesus like you never seen him before.

Will inspire more freakouts than joy.

37. Grandma got run over by a reindeer but Santa wasn’t responsible.

So Grandma was really run over by a reindeer on a quad trying to get away from hunters. Perhaps Grandma was going to shoot it.

38. What more adorable craft ornament can you ask for than a cork reindeer?

Can’t imagine how this could be a school craft project.

39. Didn’t know Santa was a senior naturist was he?

At least he has a long white beard to hide his naughty bits.

40. You shouldn’t bug Santa while he’s on his private business.

110192569_amazoncom-santa-in-outhouse-with-hinged-door-funny-

Please, Santa’s busy taking a crap. Shut the door and come back later.

41. For the microbiologist in your life, here’s some stuffed microbe ornaments for their tree.

Because these are ornaments only a microbiologist can appreciate.

42. Nothing says Peace on Earth than a wooden gun on your tree.

Please don’t. For the love of God, please don’t put this on your tree.

43. Of course, you don’t want to bother a bear packing heat don’t you?

Bears are dangerous enough without guns let alone a mama bear wielding a shotgun to defend her cubs.

44. Seriously, Jersey Shore ornaments? Oh, hell no!

Seriously, who the hell would buy these?

45. Well, here’s old Fishy reeling in a couple of marshmallows for his chocolate and graham cracker barge.

As to what fish and smores have in common with each other, I don’t have the slightest idea.

46. Because your tree may be inhabited by smoking squirrels.

no_smoking_squirrels_allowed_highway_sign_ornament-r5240042eba1145eaa03b13953b7af88b_x7s2y_8byvr_512

Hey, it’s possible.

47. No stuffed ornament tree would be complete without Monster Tree.

Oh, when a tree gets angry, boy does it get angry.

48. What’s that on the ballerina pig’s head?

lens16569381_1292514812Weird_Ornament_Strange_Bi

Is that supposed to be a Christmas tree with a face on it? Creepy.

49. Of course, you can’t have Christmas without Santa praying to the Baby Jesus.

I find these decorations with Santa and Baby Jesus kind of tacky if you know what I mean.

50. And nothing says Merry Christmas like a bikini clad hippopotamus.

Might have something to do with “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” Still, since hippos are among the most dangerous and aggressive animals on Earth, you really don’t.

For More:

Tree Toppers:

http://www.complex.com/art-design/2012/12/20-inappropriate-items-placed-on-christmas-trees/

http://happyplace.someecards.com/12718/the-13-most-wonderfully-blasphemous-items-ever-placed-on-top-of-christmas-trees

Ornaments:

From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/11/wtf-ornaments-45-worst-christmas-tree-decorations_n_2278305.html

From Buzzfeed: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/21-upsetting-christmas-tree-ornaments

	John A. Fenner on Signs of a Sociopath (with Don…
	judy thompson on The Magnificent Judgment at…
	The Very Naughtiest… on NSFW Elf on the Shelf (a. k. a…
	మానిఫెస్ట్ డెస్టినీ:… on The Indigenous Peoples of Nort…
	The Wonderful World… on The Wonderful World of Flower…

The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: WTF?

The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much – Questionable Death Verdicts

The Cinematic Guide to War

On Christmas Cakes

We Wish You a Merry Christmas, on Vintage Christmas Cards

On the Christmas Nutcracker

Here Comes Santa Decorations

Seasons Greetings, on the Christmas Card

The Wonderful World of Gingerbread Architecture

The Holly and the Ivy, on the Christmas Wreath

Decorating the Christmas Tree