The Holly and the Ivy, on the Christmas Wreath

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Whether it be on the front door or on the wall or whether it be crafted or bought, the Christmas wreath has always graced homes everywhere. Of course, they could come in a wide range of shapes and sizes as well as materials. And though some may appear masterfully done, others well, not so much. In fact, some of them may not be very appropriate to grace a house at all at times. Still, this may be a sensitive subject when it comes to tacky wreaths since many probably worked hard on them only to have me graciously mock them. Yet here is a list of tacky Christmas wreaths for all to enjoy.

1. Nothing says “Welcome” or “Peace on Earth” than a wreath made out of shotgun shells with a gun in the center.

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To me this says, “You’re an intruder and get the fuck out of here!”

2. Of course, you can try to make one from recyclable materials or garbage.

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Sure this may be eco-friendly but it still looks like garbage.

3. A beer can Christmas tree not only is eco-friendly but it will look good on any frat house door.

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I’d be wondering if the owner has a drinking problem since he or she has all the beer cans to make a wreath.

4. Yet, if you want something simple, you can go with the ultra modern look.

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Somehow when I look at this, I can’t help comparing it to a toilet seat.

5. If you want to protect the earth but not do a lot of work, you may want to paint a tire green and put a bow on it. Simple as that.

computer-wreath

Yeah, but I don’t think it looks appropriate anywhere but at a place relating to car service, a hardware store or a dealership. Maybe an Advanced Auto Parts or an Ace Hardware but other than that, probably not.

6. I call this, “The Beer Pong Wreath.”

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Because it uses plastic cups and plastic ping pong balls like in beer pong.

7. A CDs wreath will look flashy at any house.

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If it’s placed on a single guy’s house, people may question his sexual orientation.

8. This Christmas wreath doesn’t look very happy.

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Wouldn’t mess with that wreath if I were you.

9. Behold, the wreath that will give you high cholesterol.

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Of course, this is more of a platter than a wreath but you get the idea.

10. Of course, you can use a inflatable wreath to decorate your house and use as a floatation device.

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Actually might make a better floatation device, now that I think about it.

11. Then there’s a cork wreath for the wine drinkers.

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Like with beer cans, I may also want to be concerned whether the owner has a drinking problem.

12. Need wreath decorations? Well, just use your WWE action figures.

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Someone must be too much into studio wrestling.

13. If the tire wreath is too heavy, you can always use the hubcap.

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Doesn’t really look like a wreath does it? More like a curved mirror with a bow on it.

14. Still, why not grace your door with Santa’s belt.

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I think I’d rather not.

15. And there can be never such a thing as too many Christmas decorations on a wreath.

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I think I’ll beg to differ on this one. Looks like Christmas on steroids.

16. If you like, you can always have your wreath match your lawn ornaments.

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This wreath would look fine if it weren’t for the flamingo.

17. A poinsettia wreath will always be inviting to someone’s home.

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Looks more appropriate to put on someone’s grave. And believe me, I live near a cemetery.

18. Why throw away your burned out Christmas bulbs when you can make a wreath with them instead?

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Still kind of looks flashy as well as tacky, especially with the elf.

19. What better way to greet visitors than with with a Nutcracker wreath?

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Somehow the nutcracker in the center doesn’t make this wreath look right for some reason.

20. Of course, if you want to shine, you can always go with the tinfoil wreath.

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Actually this never really looks right on anything. Besides, you see stores using these all the time.

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