Tag Archives: WTF?

Deck the Halls with These Christmas Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

tree

Last year, I did my first Christmas craft post which was a rather big success that I decided to do one for this year. Mostly because I have a lot of craft pictures saved from Pinterest that I could only put on the post which can only have so many slots. After all, Christmas is perhaps the biggest holiday of the year with people decorating their house to reflect the yuletide cheer. Thus, this leads to plenty of Christmas craft projects to choose from. And I mean plenty ranging from Christmas wreaths, Christmas garlands, Christmas tree ornaments, well, you get the idea. Nevertheless, as the Christmas season kicks off, you’ll start seeing people putting up their decorations. Some will buy them from the store or have already. Some will make their own which might take them quite some time. And some may put out the decorations they made from the previous years. I mean craft projects can last a long time. But unlike on Halloween, they must have their cobwebs dusted off first. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of great Christmas craft projects to provide you inspiration for this holiday season.

  1. Oh, crap, Frosty the Snowman is now turned to slush.
Don't worry, this is just a Christmas melted snowman decoration. It's made from cotton and styrofoam. So don't cry all about it.

Don’t worry, this is just a Christmas melted snowman decoration. It’s made from cotton and styrofoam. So don’t cry all about it.

2. A white yarn Christmas wreath must always have red and green flowers.

Well, this is a nice simple Christmas design. Love the flowers. So pretty.

Well, this is a nice simple Christmas design. Love the flowers. So pretty.

3. A winter tulle wreath must always have some patches of shiny blue.

This one has a blue bird and blue flower like it's almost a snow scene. I think it's quite lovely to put on one's front door.

This one has a blue bird and blue flower like it’s almost a snow scene. I think it’s quite lovely to put on one’s front door.

4. You can make a hanging Christmas tree with only 3 wreaths.

Well, this one has 3 wreaths with baubles and decorations galore. Not sure if it's practical for my house. But I like it.

Well, this one has 3 wreaths with baubles and decorations galore. Not sure if it’s practical for my house. But I like it.

5. You could always cuddle with two of these Santa’s little helpers.

Of course, these crocheted elves are much more adorable and much less creepy than the Elf on the Shelf. And you don't have to worry about them being naughty.

Of course, these crocheted elves are much more adorable and much less creepy than the Elf on the Shelf. And you don’t have to worry about them being naughty.

6. You’ll never know what kind of snowflakes you could make with candy canes.

Okay, there's a snowflake in the center. But still, this looks quite sensational to hang in front of your door.

Okay, there’s a snowflake in the center. But still, this looks quite sensational to hang in front of your door.

7. For reds and whites, this candy cane wreath is as sweet as it could be.

It's made from decomesh with candy canes in front. Contains red and white ribbon with red baubles.

It’s made from decomesh with candy canes in front. Contains red and white ribbon with red baubles.

8. Make a jolly entrance with this tulle Santa Claus wreath.

Well, at least the tulle makes up for the beard. Seems like a very simple decoration when you look at it.

Well, at least the tulle makes up for the beard. Seems like a very simple decoration when you look at it.

9. Curl up this Christmas with your very own crocheted snowflake blanket.

This one mainly uses white, gray, and black for contrast. Yet, this is quite lovely.

This one mainly uses white, gray, and black for contrast. Yet, this is quite lovely.

10. It’s always delightful when you have snowman kettle in the home.

Yet, note that this is only used for decoration. But I do love that rosy face.

Yet, note that this is only used for decoration. But I do love that rosy face.

11. Evergreen branches and holly go very well on a wooden frame.

Help if it has some snow and some red birds on it. Think of it as a Christmas nature scene.

Help if it has some snow and some red birds on it. Think of it as a Christmas nature scene.

12. Put some hooks on a fence to hang your stockings.

Helps if all these look the same as well. Yes, they're in ugly sweater pattern. But I'll take it.

Helps if all these look the same as well. Yes, they’re in ugly sweater pattern. But I’ll take it.

13. For a wintry spirit, a Christmas wreath in pink and white should do the trick.

Helps that it has pink poinsettias and a dove on it. Sure it's girly but there's a graceful look about it.

Helps that it has pink poinsettias and a dove on it. Sure it’s girly but there’s a graceful look about it.

14. How about use a wooden panel to paint your own Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Well, you just have a white silhouette of Rudolph. But you do have a red nose and pine wreath on his neck.

Well, you just have a white silhouette of Rudolph. But you do have a red nose and pine wreath on his neck.

15. It’s not a festive Christmas without an evergreen tree skirt with peacock feathers.

Yes, it's quite fancy and unconventional. But this skirt isn't meant to be worn. I've seen a few of these, too.

Yes, it’s quite fancy and unconventional. But this skirt isn’t meant to be worn. I’ve seen a few of these, too.

16. A candy cane yarn wreath must always have red and white stripes.

Doesn't hurt that hit has red and white berries either. Love the snowflake on this.

Doesn’t hurt that hit has red and white berries either. Love the snowflake on this.

17. Looks like a bird laid eggs in this snowman wreath.

Of course, most birds don't lay eggs this time of year. But this will melt your heart nevertheless.

Of course, most birds don’t lay eggs this time of year. But this will melt your heart nevertheless.

18. These snowman flower pot candle holders will light up your Christmas time.

Yet, note that they could actually melt snowmen. Still, these are adorable.

Yet, note that they could actually melt snowmen. Still, these are adorable.

19. You could make one big snowflake with a set of popsicle sticks.

Well, it's much more doable than some of the other crafts here so far. Still, it's so simple and easy to hang.

Well, it’s much more doable than some of the other crafts here so far. Still, it’s so simple and easy to hang.

20. A twig Christmas snowflake brings a rather rustic touch.

Sure it's a strange spin if you get my drift. But it's so unique that I couldn't ignore this any longer.

Sure it’s a strange spin if you get my drift. But it’s so unique that I couldn’t ignore this any longer.

21. You can always make a great Christmas wreath with holly berries and tree branches.

Now this is the kind of holly wreath to put on one's front door. Love the plaid ribbon.

Now this is the kind of holly wreath to put on one’s front door. Love the plaid ribbon.

22. You never know what presents are on this urn.

Actually they're just boxes with nothing in them since they're only used for show. But I love how they have different patterns.

Actually they’re just boxes with nothing in them since they’re only used for show. But I love how they have different patterns.

23. A Christmas wreath should be as pearly white as the snow.

Of course, you can't bet on a white Christmas where I live. But I wouldn't mind owning a wreath like this.

Of course, you can’t bet on a white Christmas where I live. But I wouldn’t mind owning a wreath like this.

24. You can’t celebrate Christmas without a wreath of poinsettias.

Sure they're Mexican flowers that just won't die. But they really add a lovely Christmas touch.

Sure they’re Mexican flowers that just won’t die. But they really add a lovely Christmas touch.

25. This amigurumi Rudolph will always keep your spirits bright.

Like how he has the little red and green scarf around his neck. Yes, this is adorable as can be.

Like how he has the little red and green scarf around his neck. Yes, this is adorable as can be.

26. A jeweled Christmas tree must always have a silver frame.

I put one of these on my Christmas craft post from last year. Yet, I think this one has a certain radiance as well. Lovely.

I put one of these on my Christmas craft post from last year. Yet, I think this one has a certain radiance as well. Lovely.

27. Nothing can make you resist this little angel and fawn.

Tis the season for cute angels as always. But I'm sure this is bound to melt frozen hearts.

Tis the season for cute angels as always. But I’m sure this is bound to melt frozen hearts. Cute.

28. This little Christmas tree is an avian haven.

Actually the birds on this tree are fake and in different colors. But a bird fan will love it.

Actually the birds on this tree are fake and in different colors. But a bird fan will love it.

29. Pink and purple flowers are resplendent on this ornament.

These flowers are quite lovely on this off white Christmas ornament, Love the ribbons, too.

These flowers are quite lovely on this off white Christmas ornament, Love the ribbons, too.

30. With a stiff doily, green paint, and a ribbon, you can make a fancy Christmas wreath.

Judging by the size, this will most likely be a Christmas tree ornament. But a stunning one it will be.

Judging by the size, this will most likely be a Christmas tree ornament. But a stunning one it will be.

31. Have your Christmas guests set a drink on these crocheted ornament coasters.

You can also call them pot holders, too. And they all come in so many different colors.

You can also call them pot holders, too. Or ornaments as you see fit. And they all come in so many different colors.

32. A jeweled tree must always have an array of decorations.

Well, this one is quite stunning. Never underestimate what you can do with recycled jewelry pieces. Beautiful.

Well, this one is quite stunning. Never underestimate what you can do with recycled jewelry pieces. Beautiful.

33. Deck your mantle this Christmas with these ribbon trees.

Both are mostly green with some red ribbon for trimmings. They also have shiny balls on top.

Both are mostly green with some red ribbon for trimmings. They also have shiny balls on top.

34. A snowflake wreath always captures the winter magic.

This is another easy wreath. Just need a hoop, white yarn, and craft snowflakes. Lovely.

This is another easy wreath. Just need a hoop, white yarn, and craft snowflakes. Lovely.

35. These felt gingerbread men will always delight at your front door.

Each one has a bow tie and buttons to your joy. Love how one has some pine branches. Cute.

Each one has a bow tie and buttons to your joy. Love how one has some pine branches. Cute.

36. Dress your little girl for Christmas with one of these pairs of crocheted shoes.

Come in red and white. Red pair has white ribbons. White pair has holly leaves and a bow.

Come in red and white. Red pair has white ribbons. White pair has holly leaves and a bow.

37. For a rustic Christmas tree, grace it with a pine cone angel.

This looks like something a child may do in school. So I'm sure you'll have no trouble to make it.

This looks like something a child may do in school. So I’m sure you’ll have no trouble to make it.

38. Don’t like Christmas wreaths? How about a Christmas basket?

This one even has a birdhouse in it along with skates and a red ribbon. Still, you can't go wrong with this. Love it.

This one even has a birdhouse in it along with skates and a red ribbon. Still, you can’t go wrong with this. Love it.

39. A white Christmas wreath like this should bring you into a winter wonderland.

This one is quite fancy compared to the snow wreaths I posted so far. But I couldn't do a second craft post without it.

This one is quite fancy compared to the snow wreaths I posted so far. But I couldn’t do a second craft post without it.

40. You can’t be frosty without this snowman amigurumi around.

And yes, this little cold thing will warm your heart. I guarantee it. So cute.

And yes, this little cold thing will warm your heart. I guarantee it. So cute.

41. Sometimes a white beaded snowflake can have a rather simple design.

In last year's craft post I had one with more pearls on it. This one has a fewer but no less elegant.

In last year’s craft post I had one with more pearls on it. This one has a fewer but no less elegant.

42. A gingerbread garland always brings a touch on any tree.

I think this comes from salt gingerbread dough which you can't eat anyway. But love how they have the gingerbread man, star, and tree pattern.

I think this comes from salt gingerbread dough which you can’t eat anyway. But love how they have the gingerbread man, star, and tree pattern.

43. A candy cane hanging must always have some holly berries and pine branches.

I used a similar deco mesh candy cane for last year's Christmas craft post. But I like this one much better for some reason.

I used a similar deco mesh candy cane for last year’s Christmas craft post. But I like this one much better for some reason.

44. Grace your front door this Christmas with this evergreen star.

Sure it's not a conventional Christmas decoration. But you have love the flowers in the center.

Sure it’s not a conventional Christmas decoration. But you have love the flowers in the center.

45. This Christmas snow lady will make your heart melt.

It's made from plush and felt. And her dress has some pom pom decorations. But she'll make you thaw.

It’s made from plush and felt. And her dress has some pom pom decorations. But she’ll make you thaw.

46. This Christmas box scene will brighten your holiday season.

This seems to resemble a retro Christmas scene. Like how it lights up.

This seems to resemble a retro Christmas scene. Like how it lights up.

47. These plush tree ornaments come with bows of holly.

Consists of a Christmas tree, birds, stocking, heart, and mitten. At any rate, they're great additions to your tree.

Consists of a Christmas tree, birds, stocking, heart, and mitten. At any rate, they’re great additions to your tree.

48. These winter trees are always a haven for doves.

Love how they light up like trees in the snow. Still, this is a great decoration for those with too much time on their hands. Love it.

Love how they light up like trees in the snow. Still, this is a great decoration for those with too much time on their hands. Love it.

49. A white Christmas dress should always come with angel wings.

Like the peacock skirt, this Christmas dress isn't to wear. Rather it's for decoration. But I love how it lights up a room.

Like the peacock skirt, this Christmas dress isn’t to wear. Rather it’s for decoration. But I love how it lights up a room.

50. This penguin Christmas tree will waddle your way into your heart.

Sure penguins don't live in the North Pole. But they're polar creatures and are so cute. So they're included in Christmas motifs.

Sure penguins don’t live in the North Pole. But they’re polar creatures and are so cute. So they’re included in Christmas motifs.

51. You can always add a pair of ice skates with any Christmas hanging.

This one features a pair of ice skates in a frame with branches and a plaid bow. Has quite a rustic touch.

This one features a pair of ice skates in a frame with branches and a plaid bow. Has quite a rustic touch.

52. It’s always “Noel” with this Christmas hanging.

Seems like something you'd see at a baby nursery or elementary school. At any rate, it's simply adorable.

Seems like something you’d see at a baby nursery or elementary school. At any rate, it’s simply adorable.

53. Your tree can smell sweet with these cinnamon stick Christmas trees.

Each one has some tree limbs with button ornaments. I'm sure they're hard to resist.

Each one has some tree limbs with button ornaments. I’m sure they’re hard to resist.

54. Sometimes a long evergreen garland is needed for a large frame.

And white ice skates give it a key Christmas touch. Not sure if I'd want it in my house, but I'll take it for my post.

And white ice skates give it a key Christmas touch. Not sure if I’d want it in my house, but I’ll take it for my post.

55. How about a Santa hat bouquet at your door?

Flowers inside a Santa hat? Sure they're not poinsettias but they'll do quite nicely here.

Flowers inside a Santa hat? Sure they’re not poinsettias but they’ll do quite nicely here.

56. A white tulle wreath could always use some bejeweled trimming as a Christmas decoration.

Now that looks quite fancy and perfect for a front door on Christmas. Love the flower piece, too.

Now that looks quite fancy and perfect for a front door on Christmas. Love the flower piece, too.

57. You can always cuddle with this crocheted gingerbread man.

This one even has pink trimming and buttons. Though you can't eat it, it's so cute.

This one even has pink trimming and buttons. Though you can’t eat it, it’s so cute.

58. Ever saw an evergreen snowflake before?

This one has branches with pine cones and bare twigs. Has an naturalistic air to it that's perfect for a winter cabin.

This one has branches with pine cones and bare twigs. Has an naturalistic air to it that’s perfect for a winter cabin.

59. Nothing makes Christmas more magical than a bejeweled wreath like this.

Like some Christmas decorations on this and last year's yuletide craft post, this was made with upcycled jewelry. And yes, it certainly looks like a charm.

Like some Christmas decorations on this and last year’s yuletide craft post, this was made with upcycled jewelry. And yes, it certainly looks like a charm.

60. A white yarn wreath should always have red flowers and holly berries.

Well, this is a rather simple wreath. Like how it's Christmasy without being over the top. Lovely.

Well, this is a rather simple wreath. Like how it’s Christmasy without being over the top. Lovely.

61. A lovely Christmas tree always has to be strung with pearls.

Also helps if it has so many buttons and jewels to decorate it. Surely looks festive. Lovely.

Also helps if it has so many buttons and jewels to decorate it. Surely looks festive. Lovely.

62. Nothing is flashier this yuletide season than a bauble frame.

Well, this bauble frame anyway. This is especially the case when it's trimmed with tinsel.

Well, this bauble frame anyway. This is especially the case when it’s trimmed with tinsel.

63. You can make your own Santa Claus ornament with a wooden light bulb.

Just add a hat, holly, and beard and you're all set. Looks amazing, doesn't it?

Just add a hat, holly, and beard and you’re all set. Looks amazing, doesn’t it?

64. On a wreath like this, you find a vibrant Christmas village.

I put a similar wreath like this one on last year's Christmas craft post. But this one has less snow and more snowmen.

I put a similar wreath like this one on last year’s Christmas craft post. But this one has less snow and more snowmen.

65. There’s nothing so stunning this Christmas than an evergreen tree dress.

Seems like it came from a Christmas tree carved as a dress. But it's a great sight to behold.

Seems like it came from a Christmas tree carved as a dress. But it’s a great sight to behold.

66. For more retro decorations, these jeweled trees are just the ticket.

Well, these sure do have a vintage feel to them since they're in pastel colors. Yet, I can't help but love them.

Well, these sure do have a vintage feel to them since they’re in pastel colors. Yet, I can’t help but love them.

67. Spice up your Christmas party look with a pair of Christmas tree earrings.

These are made from beads and wire. The smaller ones wrap around the large green ones as Christmas decorations.

These are made from beads and wire. The smaller ones wrap around the large green ones as Christmas decorations.

68. Count down to Christmas with this Christmas tree advent calendar.

Behind each felt door on this Christmas tree is a little surprise. What it is, I can't say.

Behind each felt door on this Christmas tree is a little surprise. What it is, I can’t say.

69. On this panel you will find the nativity and the Star of Bethlehem.

I was wondering when I'd get down to the nativity decorations. Still, both certainly seem like they're from a midnight clear.

I was wondering when I’d get down to the nativity decorations. Still, both certainly seem like they’re from a midnight clear.

70. Bring your neighbors in awe of you this Christmas with this black yuletide pot.

Contains the baubles and branches for all you desire. And will surely stand out. Love the bow.

Contains the baubles and branches for all you desire. And will surely stand out. Love the bow.

71. A glass Christmas candle will surely brighten the room.

Don't worry, the flame is fake and it's powered by electricity. Still, it's quite radiant to say the least.

Don’t worry, the flame is fake and it’s powered by electricity. Still, it’s quite radiant to say the least.

72. These snowflake pot holders will keep your Christmas kitchen merry.

Come in 4 different colors as seen here. And each snowflake on them is unique. Well, sort of.

Come in 4 different colors as seen here. And each snowflake on them is unique. Well, sort of.

73. This snowflake wreath will surely bring you winter cheer.

I seem to have a lot of snowflake stuff on this blog for some reason. Maybe I'm just in a winter mood.

I seem to have a lot of snowflake stuff on this blog for some reason. Maybe I’m just in a winter mood.

74. Guess you’d like to have this snowman wreath on any frosty day.

Well, it comes with 3 circles along with a scarf and hat. Pretty simple decoration to make by the looks of it.

Well, it comes with 3 circles along with a scarf and hat. Pretty simple decoration to make by the looks of it.

75. Be in the festive Christmas spirit with this peacock feather wreath.

Sure it's a bit nontraditional as a Christmas decoration. But let's just say, it does bring out a lovely color.

Sure it’s a bit nontraditional as a Christmas decoration. But let’s just say, it does bring out a lovely color.

76. There’s nothing softer this Christmas than this snowman pillow.

It even has a Santa hat and a Christmas ribbon at the neck. Can't help but include this one.

It even has a Santa hat and a Christmas ribbon at the neck. Can’t help but include this one.

77. This glass snowflake light will give you a warm winter glow.

Has a nice snowflake design on the front. Love the ribbon on this. Lovely.

Has a nice snowflake design on the front. Love the ribbon on this. Lovely.

78. This Christmas keep your cookies safe in this Santa cookie jar.

Not sure if it will keep most of the cookies away from Santa. Yet, I like how it was made with a flower pot.

Not sure if it will keep most of the cookies away from Santa. Yet, I like how it was made with a flower pot.

79. This Christmas lampshade is perfect for any yuletide lamp.

This one has a stunning winter scene with a red background. Love the fringes.

This one has a stunning winter scene with a red background. Love the fringes.

80. Grace your couch this Christmas season with a pillow with a shiny red bow.

Because during the Christmas season, shiny red bows are totally a thing. Believe me, I know.

Because during the Christmas season, shiny red bows are totally a thing. Believe me, I know.

81. This baby Jesus manger shows us the reason for the season.

Well, to me as a Catholic, anyway. But to each his own. Still, this twig manger is so adorable.

Well, to me as a Catholic, anyway. But to each his own. Still, this twig manger is so adorable.

82. This coffee can hat makes a wonderful Christmas tree topper.

I showed a different one last year with a bird on it. Also has a nice red ribbon, too.

I showed a different one last year with a bird on it. Also has a nice red ribbon, too.

83. This peacock wreath will make a fine Christmas addition on your front door.

This even includes a light blue poinsettia flower for a wintry touch. Love it.

This even includes a light blue poinsettia flower for a wintry touch. Love it.

84. You can’t have Christmas without a wreath containing a shiny metal reindeer.

Now this one is quite stunning. Love the shiny deer and the silver wreath decor.

Now this one is quite stunning. Love the shiny deer and the silver wreath decor.

85. Keep your kitchen jolly with this crocheted wreath pot holder.

Kind of reluctant to use a pot with this one. But it's certainly a unique work of art.

Kind of reluctant to use a pot with this one. But it’s certainly a unique work of art.

86. These Christmas woodland creatures will inspire you with good cheer.

Sure they're all in green and red winter gear. But come on, you have to have a frozen heart not to think these adorable.

Sure they’re all in green and red winter gear. But come on, you have to have a frozen heart not to think these adorable.

87. You’ve never seen a more glamorous tree than this one encrusted with jewels.

Yes, Christmas should be a time with things shining and sparkling. Still, this jeweled Christmas tree is a very resplendent piece.

Yes, Christmas should be a time with things shining and sparkling. Still, this jeweled Christmas tree is a very resplendent piece.

88. Nobody could resist having these clothespin girls on their Christmas tree.

These girls come with different hairstyles and dresses. Yet, all are lovely in their own way.

These girls come with different hairstyles and dresses. Yet, all are lovely in their own way.

89. Got old Christmas light bulbs? Cover them with glitter.

You can even make ornaments out of them if you want. Or you can put them in a bowl.

You can even make ornaments out of them if you want. Or you can put them in a bowl.

90. An angel like this is best to top a simple Christmas tree.

Surely she's a demure beauty of heaven above. Yet, she wears a plain dress and doesn't illuminate.

Surely she’s a demure beauty of heaven above. Yet, she wears a plain dress and doesn’t illuminate.

91. This green Christmas dress will surely light up the home.

Even has a necklace at the neck. No, you can't wear it. But feel free to look as much as you like.

Even has a necklace at the neck. No, you can’t wear it. But feel free to look as much as you like.

92. This candy cane wreath is a sweet Christmas treat.

Well, it's surely a very candy cane colored wreath. Love the lollipops and mints. Stunning.

Well, it’s surely a very candy cane colored wreath. Love the lollipops and mints. Stunning.

93. This jeweled Christmas tree is one with a lot of gold and a lot of color.

You never know what you can make with recycled jewelry. Love the gold and purple decor.

You never know what you can make with recycled jewelry. Love the gold and purple decor.

94. On this Silent Night, this wooden nativity scene will surely suit your fancy.

This one has a stable as well as the peg figures in clothes. Love the gold turbans on the wise men.

This one has a stable as well as the peg figures in clothes. Love the gold turbans on the wise men.

95. Hang this resplendent peacock Christmas wreath in its vibrant glory.

This one is so stunning with the blue and gold bow. Love it.

This one is so stunning with the blue and gold bow. The feathers are so beautiful. Love it.

96. Ladies and gents, I present to you Frosty the Snowman in aluminum.

Yeah, I know I have a a lot of snowmen on this post. Yet, I couldn't pass by this can snowman again.

Yeah, I know I have a a lot of snowmen on this post. Yet, I couldn’t pass by this can snowman again.

97. A purple Christmas ornament like this deserves its own cameo.

Oh, wait, it does have a cameo. Love the ribbons, roses, and lace.

Oh, wait, it does have a cameo. Love the ribbons, roses, and lace.

98. This Christmas angel crystal ornament is the most divine.

Includes a pearl head and golden wings. Love the rose in the middle. Adorable.

Includes a pearl head and golden wings. Love the rose in the middle. Adorable.

99. This Christmas tree pillow will be sensational on your rocking chair.

Well, the tree doesn't look like much. But you have to love the star, ornaments, and candy canes on it.

Well, the tree doesn’t look like much. But you have to love the star, ornaments, and candy canes on it.

100. A red and green Christmas dress should always covered in flowers.

This one is decked with roses, poinsettias, and lights. Such a great Christmas dress it is.

This one is decked with roses, poinsettias, and lights. Such a great Christmas dress it is.

NSFW Elf on the Shelf (a. k. a. the Post I Ruin a Stupid Christmas Tradition) (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

elf

Parents, it’s that time of year again when Santa sends his little visitor to your children’s home in order to monitor their behavior to make sure they’re good enough for Christmas presents when the big guy visits himself. Yet, be warned that these creepy sprites tend to act very badly when nobody’s looking. And I mean badly in terms of they do stuff that you wouldn’t even dare mention to your little ones. Sure I’ve done an Elf on the Shelf post 2 years in a row, and believe me, there is a lot of crazy shit your family elf can do. After all, an elf can only “move” whenever residents are asleep or away from home, so hours of no supervision can really get to your elf’s head. And since so many elves in so many houses don’t adhere to behavioral standards, I highly suggest parents need to keep an eye on their resident Elf on the Shelf and report professional misconduct on the Internet with aid of a camera. So when you see your resident elf behaving inappropriately, take a picture, show it on the Internet to let your friends know, and call this hotline to report it to Santa at 1-800-555-BAD-ELF1. And now for your reading pleasure, I give you even more instances of Elves on the Shelves that squarely belong on Santa’s “naughty list.” Warning: most of the pictures aren’t for kids and aren’t safe for work.

  1. Oh, no, what the hell happened to Gristlecrumbs?
Okay, so the dogs at him for being creepy. Sure it was a very naughty thing but I couldn't blame them.

Okay, so the dogs at him for being creepy. Sure it was a very naughty thing but I couldn’t blame them.

2. Nice to see Frickles being informed about current events.

Did he just take a dump in that wine glass? Shouldn't he go somewhere else like an elf toilet?

Did he just take a dump in that wine glass? Shouldn’t he go somewhere else like an elf toilet?

3. For Blinkyskins, fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.

"Are you gonna take me home tonight ?/Ah down beside that red firelight/Are you gonna let it all hang out ?/Fat bottomed girls/You make the rockin' world go round"

“Are you gonna take me home tonight ?/Ah down beside that red firelight/Are you gonna let it all hang out ?/Fat bottomed girls/You make the rockin’ world go round”

4. Noel would like to say something for the Ferguson family.

Hey, Noel, nice you can remind us why you're late and all. But please, not in front of the kids.

Hey, Noel, nice you can remind us why you’re late and all. But please, not in front of the kids.

5. Seems like Dinkler has a message for the Granger family.

Okay, is that "murder." Jesus Christ, God help this family. Because Dinkler may be on the homicidal side.

Okay, is that “murder.” Jesus Christ, God help this family. Because Dinkler may be on the homicidal side.

6. Jingle Bell is enjoying a nice quiet movie night with Ken.

Okay, I don't think Barbie will like this. But Jingle Bell doesn't seem to care one bit.

Okay, I don’t think Barbie will like this. But Jingle Bell doesn’t seem to care one bit.

7. No, Blinkle, you don’t light Max on fire!

Yet, he could just as well be trying to light his farts. Either way, this really doesn't bode well for him.

Yet, he could just as well be trying to light his farts. Either way, this really doesn’t bode well for him.

8. “I have you now, Rudolph!”

No, Crumby, you don't pull a knife on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hell, you don't pull a knife on anybody.

No, Crumby, you don’t pull a knife on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hell, you don’t pull a knife on anybody.

9. “So, ladies, how do we proceed from here?”

Think Freckles has a very dirty mind and a bit of a smoking habit. Clearly, he's not fit to monitor the Westover kids.

Think Freckles has a very dirty mind and a bit of a smoking habit. Clearly, he’s not fit to monitor the Westover kids at this point.

10. Looks like Grimler got into Daddy’s secret drawer.

Did he just get into Daddy's condoms and lube? No, I don't think that plastic thing is a hat, Grimler.

Did he just get into Daddy’s condoms and lube? No, I don’t think that plastic thing is a hat, Grimler.

11. Pinkleskins, how dare you dress like Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

Apparently, he thought Miley's VMA performance in 2013 was worth remembering. He is sorely mistaken.

Apparently, he thought Miley’s VMA performance in 2013 was worth remembering. He is sorely mistaken.

12. Seems like some of Andy’s toys have taken quite well to Minter.

Is Minter drinking and playing poker with Woody, Buzz, and Rex? Jesus, now my childhood is ruined.

Is Minter drinking and playing poker with Woody, Buzz, and Rex? Jesus, now my childhood is ruined.

13. Seems like someone really wants Tinkleskins to stick it.

But did they really have to decapitate a My Little Pony? That's just fucked up.

But did they really have to decapitate a My Little Pony? That’s just a fucked up way to make an offer he can’t refuse.

14. What did Quinty get himself tied up in this time?

I don't know about you. But if he got this way through BDSM, he's going be in big trouble after Christmas.

I don’t know about you. But if he got this way through BDSM, he’s going be in big trouble after Christmas.

15. Oh, my God, not you, too Wrinklebrush!

What's with the Miley Cyrus routine? Then again, seems like the plushies like it which is disturbing.

What’s with the Miley Cyrus routine? Then again, seems like the plushies like it which is disturbing.

16. No, Hinkly, Mr. Ruskin will not like you getting into his wallet.

Boy, is he going to be in for a world of trouble when Mr. Ruskin gets home. Hinkly ought to be ashamed of himself.

Boy, is he going to be in for a world of trouble when Mr. Ruskin gets home. Hinkly ought to be ashamed of himself.

17. “Say your prayers for stealing Christmas, Grinch!”

Dankles, just because the Grinch doesn't like Christmas doesn't mean you could kill him! And a la Dexter on top of presents? That's fucked up!

Dankles, just because the Grinch doesn’t like Christmas doesn’t mean you could kill him! And a la Dexter on top of presents? That’s fucked up!

18. Looks like Clinky has taken some time off at the North Pole.

What the hell is he doing to Santa? Why the hell is the Abominable Snowman taking pictures? This is messed up on so many levels.

What the hell is he doing to Santa? Why the hell is the Abominable Snowman taking pictures? This is messed up on so many levels.

19. Elfie wants to tell Santa to stick it on Christmas Eve.

Seems like Santa doesn't treat his Elves on the Shelves too well. That or Elfie is such a prick. I don't know how workplace relations are at the North Pole.

Seems like Santa doesn’t treat his Elves on the Shelves too well. That or Elfie is such a prick. I don’t know how workplace relations are at the North Pole.

20. Seems like the Vitales couldn’t handle any more of Winkleross’s insane antics.

Guess this what happens to an Elf on the Shelf if they've behaved really naughty during the Christmas season. Guess it was for the best.

Guess this what happens to an Elf on the Shelf if they’ve behaved really naughty during the Christmas season. Perhaps it was for the best.

21. Seems like the Lego people have had enough of Sugar Plum.

Of course, everyone should've know it would come to this. The Lego people were against him from the very beginning.

Of course, everyone should’ve know it would come to this. The Lego people were against him from the very beginning.

22. Vinklevoss apparently takes well to sheep.

No, that's not how you treat a sheep. Bestiality is depraved and wrong for a reason. And no, the animals don't like it.

No, that’s not how you treat a sheep. Bestiality is depraved and wrong for a reason. And no, the animals don’t like it.

23. Let us leave and give Trinkler his privacy.

Is he licking that candy cane through a glory hole? Please don't tell me it's as dirty as it looks.

Is he licking that candy cane through a glory hole? Please don’t tell me it’s as dirty as it looks.

24. Oh, look, Elksie made a pie. Isn’t that sweet?

Uh, on second thought, maybe it's better to pass. Because I don't want to know what's in it. Also, that looks like a finger.

Uh, on second thought, maybe it’s better to pass. Because I don’t want to know what’s in it. Also, that looks like a finger.

25. Okay, what the hell’s going on with Rinky?

Guess the toys have had enough with him that they put him in a blender and served him as a smoothie. Yes, that's really sick, indeed.

Guess the toys have had enough with him that they put him in a blender and served him as a smoothie. Yes, that’s really sick, indeed.

26. Aww, Finley just spelled out Santa in blocks.

On second thought, he spelled out "Satan." And I'm not sure if he did it by accident.

On second thought, he spelled out “Satan.” And I’m not sure if he did it by accident.

27. No, Quinkler, don’t you dare hold Barbie hostage!

He even wrote a ransom note for Ken in the meantime requesting unmarked bills to his lawyer. Or else, Barbie gets it. Ken, I think you might want to take the deal.

He even wrote a ransom note for Ken in the meantime requesting unmarked bills to his lawyer. Or else, Barbie gets it. Ken, I think you might want to take the deal.

28. Sometimes Pinker just pisses off the wrong people.

Queen Elsa is perhaps the last person he'd want to piss off right now. Because he's now a giant ice cube. Hope he likes dealing with hypothermia.

Queen Elsa is perhaps the last person he’d want to piss off right now. Because he’s now a giant ice cube. Hope he likes dealing with hypothermia.

29. Guess Rumple messed with the Caped Crusader for the last time.

Sure Batman doesn't like killing, Rumple. But you must've done something really bad for him to hang you into the toilet.

Sure Batman doesn’t like killing, Rumple. But you must’ve done something really bad for him to hang you into the toilet.

30. What the hell are Tingle and Chuckie doing to Frosty the Snowman?

No, don't put him through the grater? Anything but the grater? Poor, Frosty.

No, don’t put him through the grater? Anything but the grater? Poor, Frosty.

31. Finnegan always enjoys going online.

I think it's best that the Quincys no longer allow him access to their technology ever again. Seriously, he can no longer be trusted.

I think it’s best that the Quincys no longer allow him access to their technology ever again. Seriously, he can no longer be trusted.

32. “I have plans for you, Tinkerbell.”

No, Finney, please don't. Sure Tinkerbell is annoying, but that gives you no right to set her house on fire.

No, Finney, please don’t. Sure Tinkerbell is annoying, but that gives you no right to set her house on fire.

33. “Hello, witches, show me your tits!”

Guess whatever happens in Oz, stays in Oz. Or at least we hope. But it seems that Kingsley has made them an offer.

Guess whatever happens in Oz, stays in Oz. Or at least we hope. But it seems that Kingsley has made them an offer.

34. Did Nibbler just decapitate Barbie? Holy shit!

Oh, God, he did! And he's saying that the Mullins family are next. They better call the police.

Oh, God, he did! And he’s saying that the Mullins family are next. They better call the police.

35. Inkling always loves to camp out in the great indoors.

Did he just shoot Rudolph and hang him from sticks to drain the blood? Santa's going to be furious.

Did he just shoot Rudolph and hang him from sticks to drain the blood? Santa’s going to be furious.

36. Seems like Prattle partied with the GI Joes while the Farquars were gone.

And it seems the GI Joes had him drink a lot of beer in the meantime. Wait until Santa hears about this.

And it seems the GI Joes had him drink a lot of beer in the meantime. Wait until Santa hears about this.

37. “Okay, ladies, it’s now lights, camera, action!”

The Morrises knew that Linky was into making films. They didn't know the kind of movies he made. Yes, he's deep shit.

The Morrises knew that Linky was into making films. They didn’t know the kind of movies he made. Yes, he’s deep shit.

38. Guess the chalupa was too much for Vinny.

Okay, that's really disgusting. But I'm sure it can be easily flushed away. Yeah, he's got diarrhea real bad.

Okay, that’s really disgusting. But I’m sure it can be easily flushed away. Yeah, he’s got diarrhea real bad.

39. What does Frinkleflam have here?

Jesus, did he ever learn from Elf on the Shelf school that the parents' toys are strictly off limits? Seriously, he wouldn't want to be caught dead with a dildo.

Jesus, did he ever learn from Elf on the Shelf school that the parents’ toys are strictly off limits? Seriously, he wouldn’t want to be caught dead with a dildo.

40. For a good time, call Buddy.

I hope it's not for what I think it is. Though I'm probably right.

I hope it’s not for what I think it is. Though I’m probably right as far as I know.

41. Poor, Peeta, he didn’t even stand a chance.

Yes, what elves like Flicker are capable of doing is quite chilling during the Hunger Games. Peeta never stood a chance.

Yes, what elves like Flicker are capable of doing is quite chilling during the Hunger Games. Peeta never stood a chance.

42. Zippy wishes the Bayrocks to sleep tight.

But saying while being near the knives? I really don't like how this will go down.

But saying while being near the knives? I really don’t like how this will go down.

43. That’s nice. Jax invited Rudolph for dinner.

Yet, from how I look at it, Jax wants Rudolph to be the main course. Poor Rudolph.

Yet, from how I look at it, Jax wants Rudolph to be the main course. Poor Rudolph.

44. Unfortunately, Snowballs got ensnared by the Abominable Snowman.

And it seems like this yeti likes to have his meat on the skillet. Not sure if he wants it rare, medium, or well done.

And it seems like this yeti likes to have his meat on the skillet. Not sure if he wants it rare, medium, or well done.

45. Looks like Pinsey doesn’t feel so good.

From what I could tell, he at least had 3 beers. Yeah, that's what a night drinking can do to you.

From what I could tell, he at least had 3 beers. Yeah, that’s what a night drinking can do to you.

46. Seems like Boxy likes to make some money on the side.

Look, Boxy, I understand if Santa doesn't pay you enough. But even if pot's legal in Colorado, doesn't mean you should be selling it. It might look bad in your next performance review.

Look, Boxy, I understand if Santa doesn’t pay you enough. But even if pot’s legal in Colorado, doesn’t mean you should be selling it. It might look bad in your next performance review.

47. Marky, why the hell did you set the gingerbread house on fire?

Now everyone in there will be burnt to a crisp. Jesus, Marky, are you psycho or something?

Now everyone in there will be burnt to a crisp. Jesus, Marky, are you psycho or something?

48. You might not want to look behind the shower curtain.

Seems like Frinkle has a knife on him. And he's out to kill. Stay on your guard.

Seems like Frinkle has a knife on him. And he’s out to kill. Stay on your guard.

49. Nankie and Glinkle, please stop that!

Look, twerking is fine at the North Pole and all. But please, this is a family establishment here!

Look, twerking is fine at the North Pole and all. But please, this is a family establishment here!

50. Mindy and Button always enjoy each other’s company.

For the love of God, please don't try lighting farts this time of year. That could cause a major house fire!

For the love of God, please don’t try lighting farts this time of year. That could cause a major house fire!

51. Himey always likes to explore new places in the Tortini house.

I believe Mrs. Tortini's underwear drawer is strictly off limits. Seriously, Himey, you dare not go in there!

I believe Mrs. Tortini’s underwear drawer is strictly off limits. Seriously, Himey, you dare not go in there!

52. Man, Grinsley is ripped!

Don't tell me he's a male stripper on the side. God, makes me wonder how much Santa pays them.

Don’t tell me he’s a male stripper on the side. God, makes me wonder how much Santa pays them.

53. Wilky, you’re not fooling me with your meth business.

You can wear the yellow suit and mustache all you want to. But you'll still go on the naughty list for this year.

You can wear the yellow suit and mustache all you want to. But you’ll still go on the naughty list for this year.

54. Trixie really takes to the cat for some reason.

No, Trixie, you can't cut the cat's head off. That's just sick and wrong on so many levels.

No, Trixie, you can’t cut the cat’s head off. That’s just sick and wrong on so many levels.

55. Seems like somebody made the cover of Wrapping Paper magazine.

Not sure what I think about the cookies and milk bit. But that's sure not a wholesome elf.

Not sure what I think about the cookies and milk bit. But that’s sure not a wholesome elf.

56. Blizter, let go of the cleaver!

For some reason, it won't end well with the family he's staying with. Chances are you'll regret being on his naughty list.

For some reason, it won’t end well with the family he’s staying with. Chances are you’ll regret being on his naughty list.

57. Winkles has a message for the Bobbsey kids.

Okay, Winkles, that's really not appropriate. Please keep your thoughts about Mrs. Bobbsey to yourself, thanks.

Okay, Winkles, that’s really not appropriate. Please keep your thoughts about Mrs. Bobbsey to yourself, thanks.

58. Moxie always had a mischievous side to her.

But this really goes way too far. For the love of God, please don't pull the lever and start a fire drill.

But this really goes way too far. For the love of God, please don’t pull the lever and start a fire drill.

59. Of course, Mitsy had to dress up as her favorite Star Wars character for the new movie.

Slave Leia, really? Hey, it's okay to like Princess Leia. But a more modest costume is best.

Slave Leia, really? Hey, it’s okay to like Princess Leia. But a more modest costume is best.

60. “I call this a lamb sandwich.”

Sorry, kids, but thanks to Bertie, lambkins is no more. I know it's a real shame.

Sorry, kids, but thanks to Bertie, lambkins is no more. I know it’s a real shame.

61. Before Christmas, Lingle means business.

Looks like he's dressed and ready for a crime spree. Okay, I think someone really needs to call the cops on him.

Looks like he’s dressed and ready for a crime spree. Okay, I think someone really needs to call the cops on him.

62. Mr. Jingles has something to say to the Heaths.

I think the Heaths are now shivering in dread at the moment. Yes, Mr. Jingles is dangerous.

I think the Heaths are now shivering in dread at the moment. Yes, Mr. Jingles is dangerous.

63. “Sorry, but all these Hostess mini muffins are mine!”

Guess Frankle's family is going to be incredibly pissed when they get home. Don't like the sound of that.

Guess Frankle’s family is going to be incredibly pissed when they get home. Don’t like the sound of that.

64. “Come on, Barbie, let’s get out of here.”

Did they just kill Ken? Together? Jesus Christ, Santa won't take this well from Glingle.

Did they just kill Ken? Together? Jesus Christ, Santa won’t take this well from Glingle.

65. Even Gollum thinks Quingle is a bit freaky.

Oh, God, please don't do anything to Gollum! All he wants his is precious the hobbitses stole from him.

Oh, God, please don’t do anything to Gollum! All he wants is his precious the hobbitses stole from him.

66. “Please, come and play with us.”

No, kids, you don't want to play with Ginger and Jenny. They want to kill you.

No, kids, you don’t want to play with Ginger and Jenny. They want to kill you.

67. Seems like Grangy really needs help after what happened last night.

He should hope that this sink doesn't have a garbage disposal. Because he won't last long if it's turned on.

He should hope that this sink doesn’t have a garbage disposal. Because he won’t last long if it’s turned on.

68. “Guess all bets are off, ladies.”

Man, seems like they really get into playing strip poker at that house. Wait a minute?

Man, seems like they really get into playing strip poker at that house. Wait a minute?

69. Guess Frazzle really makes himself at home with these teen boy dolls.

Are they drinking beer and smoking pot? Hope marijuana's legal wherever he is or he's busted.

Are they drinking beer and smoking pot? Hope marijuana’s legal wherever he is or he’s busted.

70. “Sorry, Woody, but a deal’s a deal.”

Did Stinker just behead Woody like that? Jesus, God Almighty. how could he?

Did Stinker just behead Woody like that? Jesus, God Almighty. how could he?

71. I think Frizzle really needs to find some better avenues for his imagination.

He seems to like Fifty Shades of Grey a bit too much. And now he's experimenting BDSM on Barbies.

He seems to like Fifty Shades of Grey a bit too much. And now he’s experimenting BDSM on Barbies.

72. Derry always likes to know what’s going on with the neighbors.

Let's hope he's just birdwatching or stargazing shall we? Because I really don't want to think he's spying on the neighbors as a peeping tom.

Let’s hope he’s just birdwatching or stargazing shall we? Because I really don’t want to think he’s spying on the neighbors as a peeping tom.

73. “Abominable Snowman, why did you have to mess with the time machine?”

Now it seems that Glinko and his friends are about to become a prehistoric banquet. Yeah, it doesn't look good.

Now it seems that Glinko and his friends are about to become a prehistoric banquet. Yeah, it doesn’t look good.

74. Waddly has a confession to make.

It seems that Waddly more than likely killed someone he thought deserved it. Sorry, but vigilantism is a crime for a reason.

It seems that Waddly more than likely killed someone he thought deserved it. Sorry, but vigilantism is a crime for a reason.

75. Bricker always likes to go for a ride.

However, from how I see it, he looks as if he's trying to break into one. Someone call the cops.

However, from how I see it, he looks as if he’s trying to break into one. Someone call the cops.

76. Penny always likes to check out the home copy machine.

And it seems like she's copying an image of her own ass. Now that's just real immature.

And it seems like she’s copying an image of her own ass. Now that’s just real immature.

77. Crinker really needs to cut down on the Reddi Whip.

And the small metal bottles, too. Seriously, Crinker needs help. Does the North Pole have any 12 step programs?

And the small metal bottles, too. Seriously, Crinker needs help. Does the North Pole have any 12 step programs?

78. Ringer, please, don’t disturb the baby.

And he seems to put a screwdriver in the baby's bassinet. Nothing good can come of this.

And he seems to put a screwdriver in the baby’s bassinet. Nothing good can come of this.

79. Querty, what did that North Pole seminar tell you about sexual harassment?

Please don't hang on the mother's tits. I don't care how you might find her attractive. That's just wrong.

Please don’t hang on the mother’s tits. I don’t care how you might find her attractive. That’s just wrong.

80. Minkler, you know very well not to have sexual relations in a stocking.

However, Minkler doesn't really seem to give a shit, does he? Guess he'll have to face a disciplinary hearing when he gets back to the North Pole.

However, Minkler doesn’t really seem to give a shit, does he? Guess he’ll have to face a disciplinary hearing when he gets back to the North Pole.

Ho, Ho, Ho, Holy Shit Vintage Christmas Advertising of Yesterday (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Now that Thanksgiving is finally over, it’s time for Black Friday to let the Christmas season finally commence. And I don’t think it would be more appropriate for me to start my cavalcade of Christmas posts than with some good old fashioned yuletide advertising. After all, chances are you’ve probably been bombarded with Black Friday special from retailers since after Halloween. Maybe even before that. Not only that, but several radio stations have already begun playing Christmas songs to so many people’s dismay who think it’s too freaking early. Now I’m fully aware that many people nostalgize over these old Christmas ads with their technicolor illustrations. However, I’ve done such posts twice before and the ads featured here surely aren’t those many tend to forget. In fact, many of them make you scratch your head, especially if it pertains to Santa doing stuff that put him squarely on the naughty list. And no, I don’t mean causing an Type II Diabetes epidemic every time he drinks a bottle of Coca Cola. So for your reading holiday pleasure, I give you some more vintage ads that might make your grandparents revisit parts of a time they’d rather forget.

  1. With Textron menswear, you can sled ride on a log in your pajamas.
And he's smoking a pipe as well as even has a guy pulling him with a string. Also, are those deer ladies in the background? Man, this ad seems to take inspiration from an acid trip.

And he’s smoking a pipe as well as even has a guy pulling him with a string. Also, are those deer ladies in the background? Man, this ad seems to take inspiration from an acid trip.

2. Pause and refresh with the great taste of Coca Cola.

Now this would make a perfectly good ad. If it weren't for that little bottle cap sprite boy handling the reindeer. Seriously, he gives me the creeps.

Now this would make a perfectly good ad. If it weren’t for that little bottle cap sprite boy handling the reindeer. Seriously, I guess he has the reindeer trample bad children.

3. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Interwoven socks.

Also, watch Santa beat the living shit out of Axis power leaders. Still, the Japanese depiction is the mot offensive of the 3. Yellow peril, really?

Also, watch Santa beat the living shit out of Axis power leaders. Still, the Japanese depiction is the mot offensive of the 3. Yellow peril, really?

4. This year, Mrs. Santa Claus gets the greatest gift of all: a brand new refrigerator.

First of all, we know the guy dressed as Santa is her husband. Second, uh, fridges are appliances that should be for the whole family since everyone uses it. Not just the wife.

First of all, we know the guy dressed as Santa is her husband. Second, uh, fridges are appliances that should be for the whole family since everyone uses it. Not just the wife.

5. Why use a flying reindeer pulled sleigh when you can drive a 1950s muscle car?

Uh, Santa, I'm sure you really like that car. But seriously, falling into it from your sleigh really isn't a good idea. The next place could be the ER. Or six feet under.

Uh, Santa, I’m sure you really like that car. But seriously, falling into it from your sleigh really isn’t a good idea. The next place could be the ER. Or six feet under.

6. Lionel trains are always a great gift for young boys.

"Excellent. Soon I'll use this train set to carry out my plan to take over the world. Let's see if I can use it to run over my brother's gerbils."

“Excellent. Soon I’ll use this train set to carry out my plan to take over the world. Let’s see if I can use it to run over my brother’s gerbils.”

7. Santa Claus Soap is always best for laundry.

Okay, the Santa isn't that bad in this one, strangely enough. But if I were him, I'd watch out for that creepy child. She may have murder on the mind if St. Nick doesn't give her the chainsaw and hockey mask she wanted.

Okay, the Santa isn’t that bad in this one, strangely enough. But if I were him, I’d watch out for that creepy child. She may have murder on the mind if St. Nick doesn’t give her the chainsaw and hockey mask she wanted.

8. As Santa says, Chesterfield cigarettes come wrapped and ready.

Yes, nothing says Merry Christmas like the wrapped and ready gift of lung cancer, emphysema, COPD, and a 1 out of 3 chance of an early death. But here you have Santa with a cigarette in his hand. Way to put yourself on the naughty list, Kris Kringle.

Yes, nothing says Merry Christmas like the wrapped and ready gift of lung cancer, emphysema, COPD, and a 1 out of 3 chance of an early death. But here you have Santa with a cigarette in his hand. Way to put yourself on the naughty list, Kris Kringle.

9. Boys, spend your Christmas money on this Red Ryder Carbine BB gun.

Warning: Contains a strong possibility that you'll shoot your eye out, kids. Also doesn't come with a gyroscope as you might've thought from Christmas Story.

Warning: Contains a strong possibility that you’ll shoot your eye out, kids. Also doesn’t come with a gyroscope as you might’ve thought from Christmas Story.

10. Cameo stockings are always great Santa bait.

Yes, Santa loves to look at women who wear Cameo stockings from their windows. Of course, if he didn't have that magic sleigh and a sack full of gifts, he'd probably be subject to hundreds of restraining orders by now.

Yes, Santa loves to look at women who wear Cameo stockings from their windows. Of course, if he didn’t have that magic sleigh and a sack full of gifts, he’d probably be subject to hundreds of restraining orders by now.

11. Remember guys, ladies always love when you give them jewelry from Monet.

This guy's like, "I must've made a mistake. I only gave her some gold bracelets since she's a good friend of mine. Now she thinks we're more than that. Sure she's hot and I fantasize about sleeping with her. But I don't know if this is what I really want right now. I'm so confused."

This guy’s like, “I must’ve made a mistake. I only gave her some gold bracelets since she’s a good friend of mine and it was my turn to play Santa. Now she thinks we’re more than that. Sure she’s hot and I fantasize about sleeping with her. But I don’t know if this is what I really want right now. I’m so confused.”

12. Even Santa Claus himself wears a Botany Tie.

Sorry, but I don't think Santa should really go for business attire. If it weren't for the hat, he could easily be some grizzled old guy in accounting for all I know.

Sorry, but I don’t think Santa should really go for business attire. If it weren’t for the hat, he could easily be some mean grizzled old guy in accounting for all I know.

13. Don’t know what to give a man for Christmas? How about a pen?

Because nothing says "I didn't know what to give you this year but I know you hat ties" like a fancy overpriced pen. I'm sure your man will enjoy it.

Because nothing says “I didn’t know what to give you this year but I know you hat ties” like a fancy overpriced pen. I’m sure your man will enjoy it.

14. If you want to give your man something different, how about something among Avon’s all-men Christmas gifts?

Because nothing makes a manlier Christmas gift than a cologne decanter he can also use as a toy. The covered wagon one is particularly stupid.

Because nothing makes a manlier Christmas gift than a cologne decanter he can also use as a toy. The covered wagon one is particularly stupid.

15. Have your child dream of gingerbread men this Christmas with Royal baking powder.

I don't know about you, but that kid better wake up soon. Or else, surrounding magic gingerbread men might subject him to very terrible things.

I don’t know about you, but that kid better wake up soon. Or else, surrounding magic gingerbread men might subject him to very terrible things. That clown looks pretty shady, too.

16. Bob Hope tells you to hope for the best with Page & Shaw chocolates.

Sorry, but Bob Hope would've made a great Christmas movie horror villain in that Santa suit. Seriously, he's already giving me nightmares.

Sorry, but Bob Hope would’ve made a great Christmas movie horror villain in that Santa suit. Seriously, he’s already giving me nightmares.

17. For air-flight mileage on the road, give Fisk tires.

For one, Santa's sleigh doesn't need tires since it's pulled by reindeer and magic. Second, is he in space? If so, how is he and his reindeer able to function? Oh, right magic.

For one, Santa’s sleigh doesn’t need tires since it’s pulled by reindeer and magic. Second, is he in space? If so, how is he and his reindeer able to function? Oh, right magic.

18. For Christmas travel, you can always go on the Pennsylvania Railroad.

And here we have Santa creeping in on a girl in her sleeping car while the conductor seems to be fine with it. Okay, he probably understands. But it's kind of weird.

And here we have Santa creeping in on a girl in her sleeping car while the conductor seems to be totally fine with it. After all, Santa always sees you when you’re sleeping even on the train.

19. When seeing Santa at the mall, always remember to ask for the Plymouth your dad always wanted.

Because nothing says Christmas like parents using their children as pawns during a Santa visit. No, having your kid ask for a new car you want isn't being a good boy.

Because nothing says Christmas like parents using their children as pawns during a Santa visit. No, having your kid ask Santa for a new car you want isn’t being a good boy.

20. Don’t know what to give your woman for Christmas? How about a set of tupperware?

Because we all know that women can't get enough of colorful plastic containers to store food in. This especially goes for containers you can't put in the dishwasher.

Because we all know that women can’t get enough of colorful plastic containers to store food in. This especially goes for containers you can’t put in the dishwasher.

21. Make your Christmas morning a Kodak moment.

From Cracked: "The photograph that woman is taking is about to be mailed to that girl's mother with a ransom demand, possibly with a tiny severed finger included. That weeping girl has no idea where she is or who the monster behind that fine Kodak camera is. We suppose you could say that, in reality, this is just an ad about a mother photographing her little girl on Christmas morning, and this girl likes to open presents in bed (and the girl is apprehensive because she lives in an era when terror lurks around every corner). But Kodak actually had a whole series of these ads, and each and every one featured a woman photographing a young girl, in her bed, with a doll. Often against the girl's will."

From Cracked: “The photograph that woman is taking is about to be mailed to that girl’s mother with a ransom demand, possibly with a tiny severed finger included. That weeping girl has no idea where she is or who the monster behind that fine Kodak camera is. We suppose you could say that, in reality, this is just an ad about a mother photographing her little girl on Christmas morning, and this girl likes to open presents in bed (and the girl is apprehensive because she lives in an era when terror lurks around every corner). But Kodak actually had a whole series of these ads, and each and every one featured a woman photographing a young girl, in her bed, with a doll. Often against the girl’s will.”

22. What a wonderful Christmas to give a Borg scale!

Well, if anyone asked for it. Otherwise, a bathroom scale gift on Christmas is a way to say to a loved one that they really need to go to the gym or change their diet. Seriously, bathroom scales make horrible Christmas gifts.

Well, if anyone asked for it. Otherwise, a bathroom scale gift on Christmas is a way to say to a loved one that they really need to go to the gym or change their diet. Seriously, bathroom scales make horrible Christmas gifts.

23. GE cool brights are Christmas lights cool enough to touch.

Cracked: "OK, this kid is a little too on board with whatever is going on here. In 1970, GE wanted you to know that their lights were cool to the touch, and this little kid wanted to make sure that was the most awkward thing you learned about all day. Now, it's not this kid's fault that she got a haircut as bowl-shaped and lopsided as one of the Three Stooges, but the look on her face says that either there is something really freaky going on off-camera to the right or she's possessed. You can decide which is creepier."

Cracked: “OK, this kid is a little too on board with whatever is going on here. In 1970, GE wanted you to know that their lights were cool to the touch, and this little kid wanted to make sure that was the most awkward thing you learned about all day. Now, it’s not this kid’s fault that she got a haircut as bowl-shaped and lopsided as one of the Three Stooges, but the look on her face says that either there is something really freaky going on off-camera to the right or she’s possessed. You can decide which is creepier.”

24. For the guy in your life, you can always give him his own Iver Johnson automatic revolver.

Yes, ladies, give your men the gift that's a gleaming instrument of death. Let's hope the gun isn't hanging on the tree by the goddamned trigger while it's loaded.

Yes, ladies, give your men the gift that’s a gleaming instrument of death. Let’s hope the gun isn’t hanging on the tree by the goddamned trigger while it’s loaded.

25. From Harper’s Weekly 1865: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

From Cracked: "This 1865 ad is actually just Harper's Weekly thanking its customers for their business. But studying it closely, we've developed a theory that the artist started drawing at the top and slowly went insane as he worked his way down. Because at a quick glance, this seems pretty standard issue old-timey Christmas, but our creep-ometer started going off when we saw Santa winking lustfully from the center, being all "Ladies ... I mean ... children." But keep going down to the bottom and you'll see that the town has gathered for the annual Christmas decapitations of their giant-headed residents, as is tradition, which has incorporated the usual Christmas tropes: swords, dwarfs, kung-fu fighting and exactly one clown. Also, the set appears to have caught fire, leaving no hope of escape for anyone in that crowded building."

From Cracked: “This 1865 ad is actually just Harper’s Weekly thanking its customers for their business. But studying it closely, we’ve developed a theory that the artist started drawing at the top and slowly went insane as he worked his way down. Because at a quick glance, this seems pretty standard issue old-timey Christmas, but our creep-ometer started going off when we saw Santa winking lustfully from the center, being all “Ladies … I mean … children.” But keep going down to the bottom and you’ll see that the town has gathered for the annual Christmas decapitations of their giant-headed residents, as is tradition, which has incorporated the usual Christmas tropes: swords, dwarfs, kung-fu fighting and exactly one clown. Also, the set appears to have caught fire, leaving no hope of escape for anyone in that crowded building.”

26. Christmas time is always Guinness time.

Misplaced wildlife aside, I think the Pelican might have a drinking problem. Just look how many bottles he has in its beak. That's not a good sign.

Misplaced wildlife aside, I think the Pelican might have a drinking problem. Just look how many bottles he has in its beak. That’s not a good sign.

27. A Morris car is always great for the whole family.

Don't look now but these kids walked on their mommy kissing Santa Claus or their dad in a Santa suit. And yet, neither seem very fazed about it at all.

Don’t look now but these kids walked on their mommy kissing Santa Claus or their dad in a Santa suit. And yet, neither seem very fazed about it at all.

28. Give your child a special gift for Christmas like a puppy.

For the love of God, don't give your kids a puppy for Christmas since dog ownership is a 10-15 year commitment. Seriously, don't do it. This ad sets a very disturbing trend because a lot of Christmas puppies end up neglected.

For the love of God, don’t give your kids a puppy for Christmas since dog ownership is a 10-15 year emotional commitment. Seriously, don’t do it. This ad sets a very disturbing trend because a lot of Christmas puppies end up neglected.

29. Real Silk hosiery is a great gift for anyone on your list.

Okay, this might not go well with the kids either since this well-dressed man is sitting with a Santa suit. Yeah, that might require some uncomfortable explanation.

Okay, this might not go well with the kids either since this well-dressed man is sitting with a Santa suit. Yeah, that might require some uncomfortable explanation.

30. Even Santa Claus himself enjoys a good smoke now and then.

Of course, remember that enjoying a good smoke will get your lungs full of tar and possibly result in a slow and painful death from lung cancer. Seriously, tobacco kills people for God's sake.

Of course, remember that enjoying a good smoke will get your lungs full of tar and possibly result in a slow and painful death from lung cancer. Seriously, tobacco kills people for God’s sake.

31. This Christmas give your family the gift that keeps on giving, life insurance.

Let's just hope this father doesn't intend to murder his family and cash in on the money. But I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Let’s just hope this father doesn’t intend to murder his family and cash in on the money. But I wouldn’t be so sure about that.

32. Make this a Browning Christmas with a brand new arsenal.

Great for NRA members and crazy nutjobs for their survivalist bunkers. What more could they ask for?

Great for NRA members and crazy nutjobs for their survivalist bunkers. What more could they ask for?

33. There’s nothing more a woman wants from Santa than a new fur coat.

Okay, Santa, buying expensive gifts for women is one thing. Tucking a sleeping woman in a fur coat? Well, that's just goddamn creepy.

Okay, Santa, buying expensive gifts for women is one thing. Tucking a sleeping woman in a fur coat? Well, that’s just goddamn creepy.

34. Take in the aroma of the holiday season on our December 10th Open House at Sandberg Funeral and Cremation Services.

Because there's nothing that's in the spirit of Christmas than dwelling on the notion of your loved one's imminent mortality. Hope they have senior discounts because funerals are expensive.

Because there’s nothing that’s in the spirit of Christmas than dwelling on the notion of your loved one’s imminent mortality. Hope they have senior discounts because funerals are expensive.

35. Nothing makes a great Christmas treat than hot Dr. Pepper.

Uh, Frosty, you know you shouldn't be around hot drinks for obvious reasons. Also, hot soft drinks are disgusting.

Uh, Frosty, you know you shouldn’t be around hot drinks for obvious reasons. Also, hot soft drinks are disgusting.

36. Give your lady the best she deserves for Christmas like a Hoover.

Oh, God, please don't. Seriously, vacuums are noise machines used for cleaning. Women will not love it.

Oh, God, please don’t. Seriously, vacuums are noise machines used for cleaning. Women will not love it. If my boyfriend gave me one, I’d seriously flip out. Great Christmas gift, you say? Hell no!

37. Mackintosh’s Quality Street sweets are enough to even tempt Santa.

Then again, Santa is overweight and prefers baked goods so it's not too much of a stretch. However, he should beware of Bo Peep and the giant toy soldier behind him.

Then again, Santa is overweight and prefers baked goods so it’s not too much of a stretch. However, he should beware of Bo Peep and the giant toy soldier behind him.

38. Kids, how about give your dad a Zippo lighter for Christmas this year?

Let's hope the kid on the right doesn't accidentally light himself on fire with one of those near his ass. Because that would cause a major disaster.

Let’s hope the kid on the right doesn’t accidentally light himself on fire with one of those near his ass. Because that would cause a major disaster.

39. This Christmas, introduce your wife to the joys of canning.

Uh, seriously? Unless she runs her own cottage business, I'm not sure if a bottling outfit is even necessary. I mean this is wrong on so many levels.

Uh, seriously? Unless she runs her own cottage business, I’m not sure if a bottling outfit is even necessary. I mean this is wrong on so many levels.

40. Men, need a last minute gift for the women in your life? Go with Pyrex.

Because nothing says "I didn't put any thought in your Christmas gift and put off my shopping till the last minute" like Pyrex tupperware. Yeah, Pyrex, what a way to promote yourself.

Because nothing says “I didn’t put any thought in your Christmas gift and put off my shopping till the last minute” like Pyrex. Yeah, Pyrex, what a way to promote yourself.

41. More Santas want Fruit of the Loom underwear for Christmas than any other brand.

Because we all know how men proudly hang out on Christmas in their undies isn't very unusual at all. Still, this is pretty awkward.

Because we all know how men proudly hang out on Christmas in their undies isn’t very unusual at all. Still, this is pretty awkward.

42. Doubl-Glo icicles always deck the best dressed Christmas trees.

I don't know about you. But I wouldn't trust that Santa if I were you. He doesn't seem like himself lately.

I don’t know about you. But I wouldn’t trust that Santa if I were you. He doesn’t seem like himself lately.

43. Ann Page foods are of Christmas quality.

Uh, Santa, we know you like food and all. But I suggest you might want to take it down a notch. You're scaring the children.

Uh, Santa, we know you like food and all. But I suggest you might want to take it down a notch. You’re scaring the children.

44. Nothing makes a great Christmas eggnog like Bacardi.

Still, you may not want the eggnog making duties to fall on Santa's elves. Because who knows what else is in their recipe.

Still, you may not want the eggnog making duties to fall on Santa’s elves. Because who knows what else is in their recipe.

45. Please, Santa, can you give Mommy a Hoover!

If she were my daughter, I would say, "You better not ask Santa for a Hoover, young lady!" Because I hate vacuums.

If she were my daughter, I would say, “You better not ask Santa for a Hoover, young lady!” Because I hate vacuums.

46. At Singer, you can always find the best gifts for your family.

Notice in this ad that the son has a Singer record player while the daughter has a toy sewing machine. Sexist? I'll say. Besides, in those days, I'd rather have the record player or the typewriter.

Notice in this ad that the son has a Singer record player while the daughter has a toy sewing machine. Sexist? I’ll say. Besides, in those days, I’d rather have the record player or the typewriter.

47. Remember, guys, ladies always love a man who’d give them a new fur coat. Just ask Santa.

Santa, I don't think Mrs. Claus will approve of you being between these two lovely women. Please, I don't know how she puts up with you being such a perv.

Santa, I don’t think Mrs. Claus will approve of you being between these two lovely women. Please, I don’t know how she puts up with you being such a perv.

48. Give year round pleasure this Christmas with ice buckets.

"Just think, in 50 years, our grandkids will use these to dump ice on themselves for ALS donations. You know that disease that killed Lou Gehrig? Is that cool or what?"

“Just think, in 50 years, our grandkids will use these to dump ice on themselves for ALS donations. You know that disease that killed Lou Gehrig? Is that cool or what?”

49. Santa says that nothing makes a more ideal Christmas gift than weapons.

Using Santa to sell guns and archery equipment, that's just crazy. Then again, deer hunting season is usually over by this point anyway.

Using Santa to sell guns and archery equipment, that’s just crazy. Then again, deer hunting season is usually over by this point anyway.

50. Murad cigarettes: The great Christmas present for grown-ups.

Yes, this smoking Santa ad has him encouraging kids to buy cigarettes for their parents. Because that's what adults want. Let alone that tobacco kills 1 out of 3 of its users worldwide.

Yes, this smoking Santa ad has him encouraging kids to buy cigarettes for their parents. Because that’s what adults want. Let alone that tobacco kills 1 out of 3 of its users worldwide.

51. The results are in, everyone wants Mrs. Claus’s ironing table.

What Mrs. Claus needs is a desk to answer all those letters. Also, what good is having all those elves around if they won't do the ironing for you?

What Mrs. Claus needs is a desk to answer all those letters. Also, what good is having all those elves around if they won’t do the ironing for you?

52. What she’s dreaming for this Christmas is a White sewing machine.

From Buzzfeed: "I’m positive this is not the “white Christmas” she was dreaming about." I kind of agree.

From Buzzfeed: “I’m positive this is not the “white Christmas” she was dreaming about.” I kind of agree.

53. Santa’s future is still in the bag with Mutual Life Insurance.

I don't know about you. But I don't know why Santa would need life insurance exactly. I mean it's widely said he goes on forever.

I don’t know about you. But I don’t know why Santa would need life insurance exactly. I mean it’s widely said he goes on forever. This doesn’t make sense.

54. Have all your gifts initialed with Seagram’s V.O.

From Flashbak: "The 1965 Class of Alcoholics Anonymous. Perhaps, the choice of graduation gifts could’ve been more thought through."

From Flashbak: “The 1965 Class of Alcoholics Anonymous. Perhaps, the choice of graduation gifts could’ve been more thought through.”

55. Ladies, give him the best with Max Factor aftershave.

I understand this is for family. But the fact a young girl has her lips pursed like she expects to be kissed is a pretty disturbing.

I understand this is for family. But the fact a young girl has her lips pursed like she expects to be kissed is a pretty disturbing.

56. Which of these watches will bring you the best kisses this Christmas morning?

From Flashbak: "Which one’s the best? Hmmm. The “extra hug” and and “kiss for every jewel” (and she’ll call you “sir” watches are nice. But, I’ll have the “one [censored] coming right up” watch instead."

From Flashbak: “Which one’s the best? Hmmm. The “extra hug” and and “kiss for every jewel” (and she’ll call you “sir” watches are nice. But, I’ll have the “one [censored] coming right up” watch instead.”

57. Give the kids a Christmas they’ll never forget with Bell & Howell.

From Flashbak: "Kids – look away! There is a Santa Claus… despite how this irresponsible 1944 advert looks. Bell and Howell are dicks."

From Flashbak: “Kids – look away! There is a Santa Claus… despite how this irresponsible 1944 advert looks. Bell and Howell are dicks.”

58. This Christmas treat your car to some roller bearings.

From Flashbak: "1946 Ad Bower Roller Bearings advert…. strange that there would even be an advert for roller bearings in the first place. Even stranger it would feature girls in sexy Christmas costumes."

From Flashbak: “1946 Ad Bower Roller Bearings advert…. strange that there would even be an advert for roller bearings in the first place. Even stranger it would feature girls in sexy Christmas costumes.”

59. This year make it a family Christmas with Weldon pajamas.

Because nothing says Christmas like wearing matching pink and red pajamas for the whole family. It's amazing if Sonny won't look back at this moment with embarrassment years later.

Because nothing says Christmas like wearing matching pink and red pajamas for the whole family. It’s amazing if Sonny won’t look back at this moment with embarrassment years later.

60. Who needs mistletoe when you have Johnny Walker Red?

Okay, this is a very troubling ad since it hints Christmas date rape. A present no young woman wants period.

Okay, this is a very troubling ad since it hints Christmas date rape. A present no young woman wants period.

61. A boy becomes a man on Christmas when he receives his first typewriter.

From Flashbak: "Yes, since Biblical days, the rite of manhood has been the sacred Gifting of the Typewriter. This advert is from 1976 – it wouldn’t be long before the typewriter would go the way of the abacus and daguerreotype."

From Flashbak: “Yes, since Biblical days, the rite of manhood has been the sacred Gifting of the Typewriter. This advert is from 1976 – it wouldn’t be long before the typewriter would go the way of the abacus and daguerreotype.”

62. When Santa relaxes, he always has his elves tending to his every need.

So Santa gets to relax with the elves who do everything for him for who who knows what. Also, Santa usually drinks Coca Cola from the bottle. An elf shouldn't pour a glass for him.

So Santa gets to relax with the elves who do everything for him for who who knows what. Also, Santa usually drinks Coca Cola from the bottle. An elf shouldn’t pour a glass for him.

63. This Christmas Santa Claus has a sack filled with Chesterfield cigarettes.

Yes, nothing says Christmas like the gift of lung cancer. Santa, you really want us to smoke? God almighty!

Yes, nothing says Christmas like the gift of lung cancer. Santa, you really want us to smoke? God almighty!

64. Santa Claus knows that Westinghouse fridges don’t freeze.

Yet, did he really have to have Inuit children help him? I mean he has elves and I know that's not a great depiction of Native Americans.

Yet, did he really have to have Inuit children help him? I mean he has elves and I know that’s not a great depiction of Native Americans.

65. Nothing makes Frosty feel at home than a basement freezer.

Looks like Frosty the Snowman is now sleeping with the fish sticks. Guess global warming has really got to him these days.

Looks like Frosty the Snowman is now sleeping with the fish sticks. Guess global warming has really got to him these days.

66. Rest your head this Christmas with a Koolfoam pillow.

From Bob Canada: "This poor family of wretches has apparently been without proper head support for a very long time. Dad's positively in ecstasy as he paws at that new pillow. Little Suzie is even ignoring her brand new doll so that she can cop a feel off of that stuffed sack of Nirvana."

From Bob Canada: “This poor family of wretches has apparently been without proper head support for a very long time. Dad’s positively in ecstasy as he paws at that new pillow. Little Suzie is even ignoring her brand new doll so that she can cop a feel off of that stuffed sack of Nirvana.”

67. A Schwinn bike makes a perfect Christmas gift for a kid.

From Retail Hell Underground: "Look at that kid's eyes. He is absolutely planning to murder you with his shiny new Schwinn. It doesn't matter that bikes are made of smooth metal and squishy rubber and luxurious pleather -- he will find a way to butcher you with it, probably after practicing on no less than five neighborhood pets. And check out that drawn-out "O-OH-H." Not only is he getting his first Schwinn, he's also experiencing his first orgasm. The first ones are so easy, aren't they? But soon you get jaded, and the only way you can get your rocks off is by watching a prostitute choke to death on a bicycle bell, her death rattle accompanied by plaintive ringing."

From Retail Hell Underground: “Look at that kid’s eyes. He is absolutely planning to murder you with his shiny new Schwinn. It doesn’t matter that bikes are made of smooth metal and squishy rubber and luxurious pleather — he will find a way to butcher you with it, probably after practicing on no less than five neighborhood pets. And check out that drawn-out “O-OH-H.” Not only is he getting his first Schwinn, he’s also experiencing his first orgasm. The first ones are so easy, aren’t they? But soon you get jaded, and the only way you can get your rocks off is by watching a prostitute choke to death on a bicycle bell, her death rattle accompanied by plaintive ringing.”

68. Santa always knows that a boy wants his own Stevens rifle for Christmas.

From Retail Hell Underground: "We can't emphasize enough that this 1906 ad is for real guns. Not cork guns or BB guns -- actual, "hunt your own food and shoot a man down in cold blood" guns. And this one is being placed beside a sleeping child by a visibly conniving Santa, as if he's preparing the kid for some Christmas morning Hunger Games in which only the sole survivor gets the stocking."

From Retail Hell Underground: “We can’t emphasize enough that this 1906 ad is for real guns. Not cork guns or BB guns — actual, “hunt your own food and shoot a man down in cold blood” guns. And this one is being placed beside a sleeping child by a visibly conniving Santa, as if he’s preparing the kid for some Christmas morning Hunger Games in which only the sole survivor gets the stocking.”

69. When Santa sees you when you’re sleeping, he sometimes even films it.

From Retail Hell Underground: "He sees you when you're sleeping. He also films you when you're sleeping. Then he shows everybody in a seedy, poorly lit theater. We really wish we could see those people's hands ... Wait, no! We take that back."

From Retail Hell Underground: “He sees you when you’re sleeping. He also films you when you’re sleeping. Then he shows everybody in a seedy, poorly lit theater. We really wish we could see those people’s hands … Wait, no! We take that back.”

70. There’s nothing better on Christmas than getting drunk on Kinsey with a ghost.

From Retail Hell Underground: "Easily the best part of any Christmas gathering is when you sit down with your buddy for a nice toast with Kinsey Whiskey and fucking drunken ghosts show up to party. Also, does that guy have a framed photo of himself on the table? Your holiday parties may be painfully awkward, but at least they're not whiskey-fueled ghost keggers with unrepentant narcissists."

From Retail Hell Underground: “Easily the best part of any Christmas gathering is when you sit down with your buddy for a nice toast with Kinsey Whiskey and fucking drunken ghosts show up to party. Also, does that guy have a framed photo of himself on the table? Your holiday parties may be painfully awkward, but at least they’re not whiskey-fueled ghost keggers with unrepentant narcissists.”

Exclusive Magazine Cover Disasters Through the Ages

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

cosmo-spoof

In a media landscape nowadays, you’d think there’s a magazine for everything. They also come in many forms depending on content. Some may focus on important news stories and analysis like Time and Newsweek. Some may feature interesting educational content from around the world like National Geographic or Smithsonian. Some may pertain to celebrity gossip, fashion, and household tips like the mainstream magazines you see on the racks in a grocery store. Nevertheless, they have loomed large in our pop culture landscape for a long time. After all, most of those vintage ads you’ve probably seen in my vintage blog posts came from magazines. Yet, each magazine issue comes with a cover that advertises what’s inside. For many issues, such images have become rather iconic and well known. Yet, there are also covers that cause considerable controversy. In this post, I’ll feature a treasure trove of magazine covers that will make you scratch your head. Some of these contain photoshop fails (which make people look very unflattering). Some pertain to images that might be unintentionally funny. Some may contain a lot of formatting mistakes. You name it. So enjoy these at your peril.

  1. In Popular Science, learn how to build your own family foxhole.
Apparently, the folks at Popular Science had no idea that a lot of people had basements in their homes in the 1950s. Or that an underground shelter is simply not an option for people in some areas like Florida.

Apparently, the folks at Popular Science had no idea that a lot of people had basements in their homes in the 1950s. Or that an underground shelter is simply not an option for people in some areas like Florida.

2. Presenting our current issue of Rugged Men: the masochist issue.

Because nothing makes a man more rugged than having 2 sexy blondes tie his hands and feet, hoist him up without his shirt on, and whip him senseless. Think about it as Fifty Shades of Grey om reverse.

Because nothing makes a man more rugged than having 2 sexy blondes tie his hands and feet, hoist him up without his shirt on, and whip him senseless. Think about it as Fifty Shades of Grey om reverse.

3. On Man’s Life, we will feature a man attacked by a swarm of bloodthirsty bats.

No, most bats don't viciously attack humans without probable cause. Sure they may spread disease from time to time. But the guy never should've entered the bat cave, at least without a shirt on.

No, most bats don’t viciously attack humans without probable cause. Sure they may spread disease from time to time. But the guy never should’ve entered the bat cave, at least without a shirt on.

4. Today in Man’s Life, beware of the killer turtles.

Sure turtles might have a vicious side. But this cover just seems too hard to take seriously.

Sure turtles might have a vicious side. But this cover just seems too hard to take seriously. I mean the guy’s trying to ward off attacking turtles for God’s sake.

5. On this issue of time, the Beatles.

So why did Time decide to go with freakish Beatles puppets? Couldn't they just put a photo of the Fab Four and leave it at that?

So why did Time decide to go with freakish Beatles puppets? Couldn’t they just put a photo of the Fab Four and leave it at that?

6. In Electrical Experimenter, we introduce to you the Teleport Phone.

Sure they may not have a phone keypad. But they can certainly Skype.

Sure they may not have a phone keypad. But they can certainly Skype.

7. On this issue of Good Housekeeping we sit down with First Lady Michelle Obama.

Or an evil robot of Michelle Obama that has killed her and taken her place. Yes, this is terrible photoshop indeed.

Or an evil robot of Michelle Obama that has killed her and taken her place. Yes, this is terrible photoshop indeed.

8. This issue of Time features the magic of virtual reality.

So is this guy really at the beach experiencing a different virtual reality. Or is that beach a virtual reality? I can't tell.

So is this guy really at the beach experiencing a different virtual reality. Or is that beach a virtual reality? I can’t tell.

9. Time Magazine calls Chris Christie The Boss.

This issue appeared in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. However, the mob boss style photo treatment is actually quite fitting for the shady New Jersey governor who caused a massive traffic jam out of spite.

This issue appeared in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. However, the mob boss style photo treatment is actually quite fitting for the shady New Jersey governor who caused a massive traffic jam out of spite.

10. In Man’s Life, our top story is vicious killer monkeys.

Yes, monkeys can be quite vicious creatures. But this is utterly ridiculous to take seriously. Hope that guy's knife comes in handy.

Yes, monkeys can be quite vicious creatures. But this is utterly ridiculous to take seriously. Hope that guy’s knife comes in handy.

11. In this issue of Weird Tales, we feature a living female buddha.

However, I find it hard to believe that a female buddha would be a redheaded white girl who's dressed like she's from a Las Vegas strip club. But that's just me.

However, I find it hard to believe that a female buddha would be a redheaded white girl who’s dressed like she’s from a Las Vegas strip club. But that’s just me.

12. This issue of Time features hockey.

Hey, I didn't know that Jason Voorhees played hockey before he resorted to killing teenagers. Why did nobody tell us about it?

Hey, I didn’t know that Jason Voorhees played hockey before he resorted to killing teenagers. Why did nobody tell us about it?

13. No, I don’t think this is a magazine about prostitution.

It's actually titled Where magazine. But the fact the woman covers part of the "e" seems to suggest otherwise.

It’s actually titled Where magazine. But the fact the woman covers part of the “e” seems to suggest otherwise.

14. I’m sure all of you remember Time’s infamous O.J. Simpson cover.

No, O.J. isn't that black. But don't tell the people of Time. And yes, I do believe he did it since he's had a record of abuse.

No, O.J. isn’t that black. But don’t tell the people of Time. And yes, I do believe he did it since he’s had a record of abuse.

15. Sometimes in magazine cover design, placement is everything.

This is called, "Parents" magazine. However, the mother's head on the "a" and the green blurb on the "t" makes sound something completely different.

This is called, “Parents” magazine. However, the mother’s head on the “a” and the green blurb on the “t” makes sound something completely different.

16. When doing a cover story on a terrorist suspect, don’t slap photo on the cover that makes him look like a teen rock star.

This is Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who's the surviving Boston Marathon Bomber. The people of Boston weren't happy about this cover at all.

This is Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who’s the surviving Boston Marathon Bomber. The people of Boston weren’t happy about this cover at all.

17. Time Magazine informs us that we’re all puppets controlled by some external puppetmeister.

Well, this is about sociobiology. But the picture seems to suggest something even more sinister. Like we're all slaves to something outside ourselves.

Well, this is about sociobiology. But the picture seems to suggest something even more sinister. Like we’re all slaves to something outside ourselves.

18. This issue of The Economist discusses the trouble with mergers.

So what the hell does camel sex have to do with mergers? Seriously, that makes no sense whatsoever. And it makes camel parents angry.

So what the hell does camel sex have to do with mergers? Seriously, that makes no sense whatsoever. And it makes camel parents angry.

19. In this issue of Spy, it’s obvious that O.J. Simpson is guilty.

If Spy thinks he's guilty, then why do they have him dressed up as George Washington? It's just so absurd. Then again, maybe that's the point.

If Spy thinks he’s guilty, then why do they have him dressed up as George Washington? It’s just so absurd. Then again, maybe that’s the point.

20. In this issue of Time: Are Men Really that Bad?

So basically Time implies that men are pigs. Yet, some sure can dress.

So basically Time implies that men are pigs. Yet, some sure can dress.

21. Today’s special issue of Bloomberg is dedicated to tax evaders.

Actually they're talking about how rich people avoid paying taxes like tax shelters and taking advantage of loopholes. I'm sure it'll give some wealthy people ideas.

Actually they’re talking about how rich people avoid paying taxes like tax shelters and taking advantage of loopholes. I’m sure it’ll give some wealthy people ideas.

22. We devote this issue of This is Harrison County to suppositories.

Actually Butt Drugs is a name of a drugstore there. Yet, the name is quite unfortunate so I include this cover.

Actually Butt Drugs is a name of a drugstore there. Yet, the name is quite unfortunate so I include this cover.

23. In Men magazine, Attack of the Giant Otter.

Yes, the giant otter springs to attack some guy in his tent during the night. And that otter is about to have a lamp smashed at it.

Yes, the giant otter springs to attack some guy in his tent during the night. And that otter is about to have a lamp smashed at it.

24. This week in Esquire, the Passion of Muhammad Ali.

Note that they're depicting Muhammad Ali like Saint Sebastian who had arrows shot into him. And that it's not real at all. But it's surely in poor taste.

Note that they’re depicting Muhammad Ali like Saint Sebastian who had arrows shot into him. And that it’s not real at all. But it’s surely in poor taste.

25. This week in Esquire, Andy Warhol is sucked into a whirlpool of Campbell’s Tomato Soup.

Let's hope he comes back from the froth of saltiness. Yes, these old magazine covers can be surreal.

Let’s hope he comes back from the froth of saltiness. Yes, these old magazine covers can be surreal.

26. For Men’s Fitness, we sit down with tennis star Andy Roddick.

I don't know about you. But do you get the impression that one of Andy's arms is bigger than the other. Or is it just me?

I don’t know about you. But do you get the impression that one of Andy’s arms is bigger than the other. Or is it just me?

27. This week’s issue of Life magazine discusses the Generation Gap.

Uh, having people in blue man's glasses doesn't seem to help their case. In fact, makes you wonder if the photo shopper was on acid.

Uh, having people in blue man’s glasses doesn’t seem to help their case. In fact, makes you wonder if the photo shopper was on acid.

28. This week’s issue of Life magazine features an album of Christmas carols.

There's something not right about that golden hair child. Hope you don't find this little moppet in your home during the night.

There’s something not right about that golden hair child. Hope you don’t find this little moppet in your home during the night.

29. In this week’s issue of Life, we feature the scary cloaked masked lady.

Yes, she kind of seems a bit creepy to me. I don't think her soulless eyes contain anything lively for years.

Yes, she kind of seems a bit creepy to me. I don’t think her soulless eyes contain anything lively for years.

30. I guess this is the girls with guns issue of Black Mask.

I hear this Ammo Amy is perhaps the NRA's dream girl. I mean look at all the guns she carries. That's insane!

I hear this Ammo Amy is perhaps the NRA’s dream girl. I mean look at all the guns she carries. That’s insane!

31. In this issue of Male, man takes on giant lizard.

Wonder if this inspired the Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk fights Gorn. Though the man wouldn't use a sword. And the black guy gets trampled.

Wonder if this inspired the Star Trek episode where Captain Kirk fights Gorn. Though the man wouldn’t use a sword. And the black guy gets trampled.

32. In this issue of Stag, we learn how to protect ourselves against crabs.

Looks like STD prevention won't work in this case. Guess this might mean using a shovel.

Looks like STD prevention won’t work in this case. Perhaps a different kind of protection is needed like body armor.

33. According to True Men, even ripped guys are helpless when they’re attacked by hordes of flying squirrels.

Attacking squirrels? Really? Do you know how that's not scary? In fact, it's pretty ridiculous that you'll have to be nuts to imagine it.

Attacking squirrels? Really? Do you know how that’s not scary? In fact, it’s pretty ridiculous that you’ll have to be nuts to imagine it.

34. In Le Vie Parisienne, we feature a woman reading on the train.

Sorry, lady, but transparent top and a lifted skirt will draw attention. Even when you don't intend to.

Sorry, lady, but transparent top and a lifted skirt will draw attention. Even when you don’t intend to.

35. If you’re into shirtless covers, you’ll like this one from Africa’s Bowhunter.

This looks like a cheap cover with amateur photoshop for a cheap magazine. Also, the font isn't great either.

This looks like a cheap cover with amateur photoshop for a cheap magazine. Also, the font isn’t great either.

36. The New Republic features what’s rotten in Great Britain.

Yet, do we have to bring Princess Kate's dental health into this? Besides, those teeth aren't even real.

Yet, do we have to bring Princess Kate’s dental health into this? Besides, those teeth aren’t even real.

37. Presenting the Bill Clinton issue of Esquire.

No, Esquire, don't go with the Bill Clinton's legs spread. Seriously, that really doesn't help his scandal-prone reputation.

No, Esquire, don’t go with the Bill Clinton’s legs spread. Seriously, that really doesn’t help his scandal-prone reputation.

38. On Escape, man is driven to his death by gorgeous bare breasted Amazons.

Things really don't seem great for that guy about to be thrown into the volcano. Man, I don't think this magazine likes women.

Things really don’t seem great for that guy about to be thrown into the volcano. Man, I don’t think this magazine likes women.

39. In today’s Battle Cry, we feature a Nazi orgy.

Funny how the women are clad in their underwear while the guys are in full uniform. Doesn't seem to make much sense.

Funny how the women are clad in their underwear while the guys are in full uniform. Doesn’t seem to make much sense.

40. Looks like Der Spiegel doesn’t like Queen Elizabeth II.

Okay, they're really not telling the Queen to die even though it seems so. "Die" here simply means "the." So there's nothing to worry about.

Okay, they’re really not telling the Queen to die even though it seems so. “Die” here simply means “the.” So there’s nothing to worry about.

41. This issue of Marie Claire features the one and only Eva Mendes.

Thanks to photoshop, all her body parts are out of proportion. This especially goes for her head.

Thanks to photoshop, all her body parts are out of proportion. This especially goes for her head.

42. Tina Fey graces the cover of this month’s issue of In Style.

Tina Fey doesn't look like herself in this. Seriously, you have to wonder what's going on with her during the photo shoot.

Tina Fey doesn’t look like herself in this. Seriously, you have to wonder what’s going on with her during the photo shoot.

43. This issue of Elle, we sit down with Australian sensation Kyle Minogue.

And I have no idea what the hell happened to her leg. Surely, the other shoe should appear in this even with the knee bent.

And I have no idea what the hell happened to her leg. Surely, the other shoe should appear in this even with the knee bent.

44. In Russia, Vogue can be quite different.

This is especially true when you see a model's hand but no lower arm. Seriously, something's missing here.

This is especially true when you see a model’s hand but no lower arm. Seriously, something’s missing here.

45. This issue of Vogue we feature LeBron James and Gisele Bunchen.

Uh, no, Vogue. This has plenty of racist connotations that it's not even funny. Seriously, this is not cool.

Uh, no, Vogue. This has plenty of racist connotations that it’s not even funny. Seriously, this is not cool.

46. On W, we’re pleased to feature Demi Moore.

Unfortunately, they chopped off some of her hip in this. Also, it's likely they just pasted her head to a model's body, anyway.

Unfortunately, they chopped off some of her hip in this. Also, it’s likely they just pasted her head to a model’s body, anyway.

47. From Oops!, we have the pleasure to sit down with Taylor Swift.

Inside, we'll address the ongoing rumors of Ms. Swift being an evil space alien who uses her music to control minds. And whether she plans to assemble her own army to take over Earth.

Inside, we’ll address the ongoing rumors of Ms. Swift being an evil space alien who uses her music to control minds. And whether she plans to assemble her own army to take over Earth.

48. At Glamor, join us for an exclusive interview with Kristen Stewart.

Now we'll ask what the hell happened to her arm. Because we don't seem to see it in this photo.

Now we’ll ask what the hell happened to her arm. Because damn photoshop!

49. In Time, we discuss how Ted Cruz plans to make himself more likable.

He really doesn't look likable in this photo. More like a smug Lucius Malfoy type. Of course, it's hard to make a man like that likable at all.

He really doesn’t look likable in this photo. More like a smug Lucius Malfoy type. Of course, it’s hard to make a man like that likable at all.

50. How’s it hanging in Golf Week?

Why is there a noose in a golf magazine? It's a magazine about golf not executions.

Why is there a noose in a golf magazine? It’s a magazine about golf not executions.

51. In this issue of Esquire, the bearded lady finally shaves.

Okay, she probably doesn't have a beard. But the fact she's shaving her face is kind of disturbing for me. Not sure why.

Okay, she probably doesn’t have a beard. But the fact she’s shaving her face is kind of disturbing for me. Not sure why.

52. In this issue, Time takes you into the world of Cyberpunk.

So is this how they saw cyberculture in the early 1990s? Because they make it seem kind of shady.

So is this how they saw cyberculture in the early 1990s? Because they make it seem kind of shady.

53. This issue of Time talks about Cyber War.

From Time: "Two decades before drone strikes were a common part of military combat, 'Time' was busy warning us that a cyber war was coming." We should've listened.

From Mashable: “Two decades before drone strikes were a common part of military combat, ‘Time’ was busy warning us that a cyber war was coming.” We should’ve listened.

54. Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos comes in a box.

From Mashable: "Most people named "Person of the Year" get stately cover photo shoots. But if you're Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, the fact that Amazon is a website means you're relegated to the geek pile. And geeks don't get serious covers. They get their heads stuffed in boxes of packing peanuts and computer mice." Still, this is really creepy.

From Mashable: “Most people named “Person of the Year” get stately cover photo shoots. But if you’re Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, the fact that Amazon is a website means you’re relegated to the geek pile. And geeks don’t get serious covers. They get their heads stuffed in boxes of packing peanuts and computer mice.” Still, this is really creepy.

55. This month, Rolling Stone features the Passion of Kanye West.

Now, Rolling Stone, you don't have to make your cover in a way that Kanye West sees himself. Seriously, we don't need to feed into his enormous ego.

Now, Rolling Stone, you don’t have to make your cover in a way that Kanye West sees himself. Seriously, we don’t need to feed into his enormous ego.

56. Gracing Todateen is teen sensation Justin Bieber.

Or him as a soulless mannequin who'll kill you in your dreams. You can take your pick.

Or him as a soulless mannequin who’ll kill you in your dreams. You can take your pick.

57. If you like Scandal, then you better get this Essence issue featuring Kerry Washington.

Her body seems totally out of proportion on this one. Maybe it's the outfit. Or maybe it's photoshop. I can't tell which.

Her body seems totally out of proportion on this one. Maybe it’s the outfit. Or maybe it’s photoshop. I can’t tell which.

58. You can’t miss Kerry Washington on this month’s cover of Lucky.

Here she discusses what it's like to be turned into a zombie. Before she eats the reporter who interviewed her.

Here she discusses what it’s like to be turned into a zombie. Before she eats the reporter who interviewed her.

59. This Glamour issue features the ultimate drama queen Kristen Stewart.

Kristen Stewart looks about as lifeless on this cover as she did in the Twilight movies. And I'm sure she's no drama queen by any stretch of the imagination.

Kristen Stewart looks about as lifeless on this cover as she did in the Twilight movies. And I’m sure she’s no drama queen by any stretch of the imagination.

60. In this issue of Life, we give you a sneak preview of the moon landing.

To be fair, this issue came out in 1962. But we all know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin didn't wear garbage can spacesuits when they came out of the module.

To be fair, this issue came out in 1962. But we all know Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin didn’t wear garbage can spacesuits when they came out of the module.

61. In this issue of Wildlife we talk about lions.

But do we really need to use "pussies galore" in a wildlife magazine. I know you mean cats, but still. It's not great terminology.

But do we really need to use “pussies galore” in a wildlife magazine. I know you mean cats, but still. It’s not great terminology.

62. In Man’s Life magazine, we caution you to beware of attacking otters.

A guy being attacked by otters, that's crazy. I mean otters are playful and cuddly. So it's hard to take seriously.

A guy being attacked by otters, that’s crazy. I mean otters are playful and cuddly. So it’s hard to take seriously.

63. You never know what will be featured in Nails.

From Nails: "It takes a while to see that the cover model is jumping out of a nail. What’s the connection of the image with the cover story? Your guess is as good as ours."

From Nails: “It takes a while to see that the cover model is jumping out of a nail. What’s the connection of the image with the cover story? Your guess is as good as ours.”

64. On this issue of V, we feature Naomi Campbell.

Okay, another woman all tied up and having her mouth taped shut. Now this is very disturbing if you ask me.

Okay, another woman all tied up and having her mouth taped shut. Now this is very disturbing if you ask me.

65. This issue discusses the occult revival and Satan’s return.

Okay, that looks a bit scary. I bet readers will have freak out of this. Yeah, doesn't look good.

Okay, that looks a bit scary. I bet readers will have freak out of this. Yeah, doesn’t look good.

66. In this week’s cover from Shape Up, we cover bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Of course, don't get in shape Arnold's way at the time because he clearly used steroids. Also, there might be something rising in his pants.

Of course, don’t get in shape Arnold’s way at the time because he clearly used steroids. Also, there might be something rising in his pants.

67. In Men Today, check out how Nazis put underwear clad women in piranha pools.

Look, I know the Nazis were terrible people whose cruelty knew no bounds. But please, I'm sure none of them used piranha pools where they could put scantily clad women in. That's just ridiculous.

Look, I know the Nazis were terrible people whose cruelty knew no bounds. But please, I’m sure none of them used piranha pools where they could put scantily clad women in. That’s just ridiculous.

68. Jennifer Lopez rules in this issue of Rolling Stone.

I'm sorry but I don't think J.Lo fits into warrior princess mode. That just doesn't seem like her.

I’m sorry but I don’t think J.Lo fits into warrior princess mode. That just doesn’t seem like her.

69. Ricky Martin gets deep in Rolling Stone.

And here he is in a pool full of naked women. Uh, it's kind of established that Ricky Martin likes guys. Seriously, he's been out of the closet for a long time.

And here he is in a pool full of naked women. Uh, it’s kind of established that Ricky Martin likes guys. Seriously, he’s been out of the closet for a long time.

70. In Terror Tales, love goes mad.

Yes, she loves the Grim Reaper so much that she'll walk all over the River Styx with hands trying to grab her. And here Death just rows along.

Yes, she loves the Grim Reaper so much that she’ll walk all over the River Styx with hands trying to grab her. And here Death just rows along.

71. In this issue of Time, we go to Adolf Hitler playing his organ near his wheel of torture.

This is the one when he was Person of the Year during the 1930s. But at least they give you an idea of how evil he is.

This is the one when he was Person of the Year during the 1930s. But at least they give you an idea of how evil he is.

72. At Bloomberg we talk of how Walmart’s workers love working there.

For some reason, I don't see a happy face behind that smiley face mask. It's pretty clear the smiley face is a facade of this Walmart greeter's misery.

For some reason, I don’t see a happy face behind that smiley face mask. It’s pretty clear the smiley face is a facade of this Walmart greeter’s misery.

73. In this issue of Bloomberg, we talk about the hedge fund myth.

Seems like the man in this cover is in an interesting position. And it seems vaguely inappropriate how the arrows spring from his crotch.

Seems like the man in this cover is in an interesting position. And it seems vaguely inappropriate how the arrows spring from his crotch.

74. This month’s Vanity Fair, we take you to Miley Cyrus.

I know this cover seemed to get a lot of flack. But she doesn't look right in this. Not sure why.

I know this cover seemed to get a lot of flack. But she doesn’t look right in this. Not sure why.

75. In Weird Tales, creepy Asian guy wants blonde to play Wheel of Fortune.

Okay, maybe that's not Wheel of Fortune. But this really doesn't have a good perception on Asians. The guy looks so evil.

Okay, maybe that’s not Wheel of Fortune. But this really doesn’t have a good perception on Asians. The guy looks so evil.

76. Time brings you into the world of dirty words.

So they're talking about American pop culture containing swear words. Well, they can just fuck it for all I care. Because this looks fucking awful.

So they’re talking about American pop culture containing swear words and how it’s ruining everything. Well, they can just fuck it for all I care. Because this looks fucking awful.

77. In this issue of Weird Tales, Death goes for naked women.

This magazine seems to have a lot of scantily clad women on their covers. Possibly since sex sells. Yet, this is crazy.

This magazine seems to have a lot of scantily clad women on their covers. Possibly since sex sells. Yet, this is crazy.

78. In Weird Tales, learn how to keep winged demons out of your relationship.

I guess a knife will certainly scare the creepy guy off. But I'm not sure if it will be enough.

I guess a knife will certainly scare the creepy guy off. But I’m not sure if it will be enough.

79. In this issue of For Men Only, it’s best that you beware of the minks.

Because they will attack in droves. And even the most manly men won't be able to stop them from eating flesh. Yes, these minks kill for your blood.

Because they will attack in droves. And even the most manly men won’t be able to stop them from eating flesh. Yes, these minks kill for your blood.

80. Sophia Loren doesn’t wear much for her Life cover.

While I can understand why she's not wearing much, her outfit is best to be desired. Seriously, that looks atrocious.

While I can understand why she’s not wearing much, her outfit is best to be desired. Seriously, that looks atrocious.

81. Crime Detective presents blondes in bondage.

Okay, she's more likely a skimpy clothed kidnap victim dressed to entice male readers. But you get the idea. Still, this is in very poor taste.

Okay, she’s more likely a skimpy clothed kidnap victim dressed to entice male readers. But you get the idea. Still, this is in very poor taste and even she’s not happy about it.

82. Time introduces you to the world of Vladimir Putin.

Here we have him in a candid pose with the title, "Hello, Comrade." Yet, despite the friendly presentation, they say he's anything but a nice guy from Russia.

Here we have him in a candid pose with the title, “Hello, Comrade.” Yet, despite the friendly presentation, they say he’s anything but a nice guy from Russia.

83. Sarah Jessica Parker graces the cover of Harper’s Bazaar.

In this issue, they ask her about her life before coming to Earth. They also talk to her about how her eyes can shoot laser beams.

In this issue, they ask her about her life before coming to Earth. They also talk to her about how her eyes can shoot laser beams.

84. Hope you can enjoy the latest fashion from this month’s issue of Elle.

Don't mind how one of these women seems to have a freakishly long neck. Or how she might be a vampire.

Don’t mind how one of these women seems to have a freakishly long neck. Or how she might be a vampire.

85. In Weird Tales, there’s no escape from zombies trying to get you.

I get the impression this magazine focuses a lot on the occult. Also, I don't think a whip will save you.

I get the impression this magazine focuses a lot on the occult. Also, I don’t think a whip will save you.

86. Jerry Yang from Yahoo! surfs the net at Time.

Even in the 1990s, this looked pretty stupid. Certainly really looks outdated now. Don't know why they thought it was a good idea.

Even in the 1990s, this looked pretty stupid. Certainly really looks outdated now. Don’t know why they thought it was a good idea.

87. Seventeen reconnects with Sarah Michelle Gellar on her life after Buffy.

Well, her head is a bit big for her body while her arms are a little rubbery. I mean this doesn't look like Sarah Michelle Gellar in the slightest.

Well, her head is a bit big for her body while her arms are a little rubbery. I mean this doesn’t look like Sarah Michelle Gellar in the slightest.

88. In Weird Tales, we go to India where turban guys sexually traffic white women.

And it seems that any scantily clad women in Weird Tales is seen as white. Makes me wonder if it has anything to do with Missing White Woman Syndrome.

And it seems that any scantily clad women in Weird Tales is seen as white. Makes me wonder if it has anything to do with Missing White Woman Syndrome.

89. In Weird Tales, bald emperor guy tries to seduce a blonde.

Yep, that's what it looks like. And she's being carried by women and androgynous bald servants. Also, is that a knife?

Yep, that’s what it looks like. And she’s being carried by women and androgynous bald servants. Also, is that a knife?

90. Time asks you whether you’re mom enough.

I'm sure that boy is way too old to breastfeed by now. Also, Time, how dare you sexualize motherhood and drag a toddler in the national spotlight. This kid will never live it down in high school.

I’m sure that boy is way too old to breastfeed by now. Also, Time, how dare you sexualize motherhood and drag a toddler in the national spotlight. This kid will never live it down in high school.

91. Rolling Stone tells us what it’s like to be Brad Pitt.

Hmmm...so Brad Pitt is smoking a cigarette and wearing a dress. I'm sure he wouldn't want this issue to see the light of day.

Hmmm…so Brad Pitt is smoking a cigarette and wearing a dress. I’m sure he wouldn’t want this issue to see the light of day.

92. Gracing this issue of W is none other than Janet Jackson.

From Carolyn Collado: "The pop artist didn’t deserve such distasteful W cover with her body looking distorted. The W magazine have done everything to ruin the diva’s image including too much makeup, unbecoming outfit and awkward pose you would wonder where was Janet’s neck that time."

From Carolyn Collado: “The pop artist didn’t deserve such distasteful W cover with her body looking distorted. The W magazine have done everything to ruin the diva’s image including too much makeup, unbecoming outfit and awkward pose you would wonder where was Janet’s neck that time.”

93. On the cover of Vanity Fair Spain is Hilton Hotel heiress Paris Hilton.

From Carolyn Collado: "Greg Lotus image for Paris Hilton for Vanity Fair Spain in January 2012 looked stunning and perfect if only for the fact that we are kinda confused whether the magazine really tapped the hotel heiress for the cover or did they have Paris Hilton’s wax figure covered on her behalf? The excessive retouching defeated the purpose of glamour that we rather pay more attention to her cute pup."

From Carolyn Collado: “Greg Lotus image for Paris Hilton for Vanity Fair Spain in January 2012 looked stunning and perfect if only for the fact that we are kinda confused whether the magazine really tapped the hotel heiress for the cover or did they have Paris Hilton’s wax figure covered on her behalf? The excessive retouching defeated the purpose of glamour that we rather pay more attention to her cute pup.”

94. Time sits down with tech sensation and Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

From Mashable: "Imagine you're Bill Gates and you get a phone call saying, "Congratulations, you're on the cover of 'Time' magazine!" and then, in the next breath, they say, "but we want you to look like a stereotypical nerd and spin a floppy disk in your hands." In 1984, this would be reality for the future richest man on Earth."

From Mashable: “Imagine you’re Bill Gates and you get a phone call saying, “Congratulations, you’re on the cover of ‘Time’ magazine!” and then, in the next breath, they say, “but we want you to look like a stereotypical nerd and spin a floppy disk in your hands.” In 1984, this would be reality for the future richest man on Earth.”

95. For Time, it’s 3 cheers for Prince Charles and Princess Diana.

Prince Charles looks particularly unflattering in this. Also, keep in mind that after 2 boys, they'd both cheat on each other and later divorce. Also, Diana died in a car wreck.

Prince Charles looks particularly unflattering in this. Diana doesn’t look great either. Also, keep in mind that after 2 boys, they’d both cheat on each other and later divorce. Also, Diana died in a car wreck.

96. Time scares you with the horrors of children and cyber porn.

To be honest, online porn exposure in children is a very real concern in this day in age. But this cover really makes it horrifying.

To be honest, online porn exposure in children is a very real concern in this day in age. But this cover really makes it horrifying.

97. New in Time, what doctors hate about hospitals.

This doctor seems like the hospital is a house of horrors. Well, this cover story explores medical errors.

This doctor seems like the hospital is a house of horrors. Well, this cover story explores medical errors.

98. According to Spy, Hillary Clinton is a dominatrix.

Or a BDSM dominatrix who should be our next president by now instead of the orange faced fuckwad president-elect we already have. Fuck you, white voters in Rust Belt states. Okay, maybe the BDSM Hillary is a little too far for 1993.

Or a BDSM dominatrix who should be our next president by now instead of the orange faced fuckwad president-elect we already have. Fuck you, white voters in Rust Belt states. Okay, maybe the BDSM Hillary is a little too far for 1993.

99. The New Yorker features the Obamas on their cover.

Now this looks pretty offensive and I remember when it came out. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would later parody this.

Now this looks pretty offensive and I remember when it came out. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would later parody this.

100. Time features the golden geeks.

From Mashable: "Marc Andreessen became a BFD after Netscape went public -- and part of being a BFD meant that 'Time' would sit him in a royal chair and make him take off his shoes. And thus, the modern mythos that Silicon Valley entrepreneurs don't wear shoes was born."

From Mashable: “Marc Andreessen became a BFD after Netscape went public — and part of being a BFD meant that ‘Time’ would sit him in a royal chair and make him take off his shoes. And thus, the modern mythos that Silicon Valley entrepreneurs don’t wear shoes was born.”

The Seaside World of Seashells

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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I know this is more suited for a summer post instead of the middle of November. But I’ve also had this idea for a while. And if I don’t do a post on this before Thanksgiving, it’ll be on my mind until after Christmas. Because I will not have any time to do such a post after next week. Of course, we all should know that a seashell is a hard, protective, outer layer created by an invertebrate sea creature. It’s usually the part of the animal (like its exoskeleton) unless it’s a hermit crab that lives in the most appropriate shell it can find at the moment. Empty seashells are often found on beaches by beachcombers and they’re usually such because the animal has died while the soft parts have been either eaten by another animal or rotted out. Most of the seashells you see on the seashore are those of marine mollusks partly because these shells endure better than others. But other shells found on beaches can be those of barnacles, horseshoe crabs, and brachiopods. Yet, freshwater shells do exist as well as those of freshwater mussels and snails along with land snails. Though such shells aren’t usually very large compared to their ocean counterparts. Anyway, people have used seashells for many different purposes since prehistoric times. Some people have used seashells for money as well as tools, fertilizer, ritual objects, musical instruments, jewelry, and decoration. You can also find seashells on sale at a store. However, just take note the majority of seashells that are offered for commercial sale have often been collected alive in bulk before being killed and cleaned. Such large-scale exploitation can have a strong negative impact on local ecosystems and may significantly reduce the distribution of a rare species. Anyway, in this post, I intend to give you treasure trove of seashell crafts for your reading pleasure. Hope you enjoy these.

  1. This net tapestry is filled with ocean richness.
Well, the shells seem to be of all kinds of different shapes, sizes, and colors. Not sure if any of those are painted.

Well, the shells seem to be of all kinds of different shapes, sizes, and colors. Not sure if any of those are painted.

2. Seashells make a nice touch to this nautical wreath.

Well, most of these will be ocean themed. So you might as well get used to the nautical lore.

Well, most of these will be ocean themed. So you might as well get used to the nautical lore.

3. It takes many different shells to make a fishy wall hanging.

Well, you have scallops, mussels, a starfish and sand dollars. But yes, it still looks quite fishy to me. And that's fine.

Well, you have scallops, mussels, a starfish and sand dollars. But yes, it still looks quite fishy to me. And that’s fine.

4. A seaside mirror should be decked with the right seashells.

Now I'm sure the seashells involved here were from multiple beach excursions. Still, looks quite stunning if you ask me.

Now I’m sure the seashells involved here were from multiple beach excursions. Still, looks quite stunning if you ask me.

5. This shell cross is a sacred seaside relic.

Doesn't hurt that the shells all match in color. Hope this isn't due to bleaching. But it's lovely just the same.

Doesn’t hurt that the shells all match in color. Hope this isn’t due to bleaching. But it’s lovely just the same.

6. Never thought you can find seashells in gold, didn’t you?

Never underestimate the magic of spray paint. Of course, some of these only have a partial coating.

Never underestimate the magic of spray paint. Of course, some of these only have a partial coating.

7. With a basket of small shells, you can make intricate patterns.

Wonder how many animals had to die to make this possible. Still, it's a wonderful pattern for any home.

Wonder how many animals had to die to make this possible. Still, it’s a wonderful pattern for any home.

8. You’ll never know what you might find in an oyster.

Okay, you don't find that many pearls in an oyster. But you have to admit, this is pretty amazing.

Okay, you don’t find that many pearls in an oyster. But you have to admit, this is pretty amazing.

9. For a better mirror frame, it’s usually shiny shell side up for some.

Like how they used the smaller shells for an inner frame. Gives it a rather seashore touch. Love it.

Like how they used the smaller shells for an inner frame. Gives it a rather seashore touch. Love it.

10. You’ll never know how many shells you can find in a net.

Well, this is a longer net than the last one I showed. But it's nonetheless fitting for an ocean scene.

Well, this is a longer net than the last one I showed. But it’s nonetheless fitting for an ocean scene.

11. With a birdbath and a glass top, you can have a seashell table top.

Would make a fine addition to any beach house living room. You can also add other stuff in there, too.

Would make a fine addition to any beach house living room. You can also add other stuff in there, too.

12. No beach side cabin should ever do without a seashell wreath.

Now that's a good way to use shells one's found on the beach. Like the starfish.

Now that’s a good way to use shells one’s found on the beach. Like the starfish.

13. This sacred shell cross uses shells both big and small.

Well, this one uses small snail shells as well as larger ones. Think this cross design is better than the last one I showed.

Well, this one uses small snail shells as well as larger ones. Think this cross design is better than the last one I showed.

14. An assortment of seashells makes a great vase decoration.

Yes, I know it's just a shell decoration. But it certainly gives a seaside flair if you think about it.

Yes, I know it’s just a shell decoration. But it certainly gives a seaside flair if you think about it.

15. A boat wreath is never complete without shells and nets.

Well, you can bet it's an ocean wreath when there are seashells on it. If not, then it might as well be a lake one.

Well, you can bet it’s an ocean wreath when there are seashells on it. If not, then it might as well be a lake one.

16. With this seashell tiara, you can become queen of the sea.

However, since it contains chicken wire, I'm not sure if it would be very comfortable. Might go well with a mermaid costume though.

However, since it contains chicken wire, I’m not sure if it would be very comfortable. Might go well with a mermaid costume though.

17. A conch arrangement often makes a splendid seashell bouquet.

Helps if it has purple gorgonian, too. Yes, atypical shells do exist, too.

Helps if it has purple gorgonian, too. Yes, atypical shells do exist, too.

18. With tiny shells, you can make a dangling shell curtain.

Because shells come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Have to admire the time and energy it took to make this.

Because shells come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Have to admire the time and energy it took to make this.

19. A mermaid queen would kill to have this seashell tiara.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find appropriate seashell crafts on Pinterest for a seashell bra. Because I know the shells involved are fake.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find appropriate seashell crafts on Pinterest for a seashell bra. Because I know the shells involved are fake.

20. Sometimes a mirror frame just requires the right scallops.

Love the shiny shells on this one. Gives this mirror a certain beach side elegance.

Love the shiny shells on this one. Gives this mirror a certain beach side elegance.

21. You have never seen anything as amazing like these mussel trees.

Love how each of them is trimmed with pearls at the ends. Also, the blue color enchants as well.

Love how each of them is trimmed with pearls at the ends. Also, the blue color enchants as well.

22. This seashell wreath only offers a small sampling of what’s on the seashore.

Or the kind of ocean life that's under threat due to global warming. Yes, ocean acidification is a very real thing.

Or the kind of ocean life that’s under threat due to global warming. Yes, ocean acidification is a very real thing.

23. I’m sure nobody could ever resist these seashell puppies.

Yes, I put these in because I know how much people would find them adorable. What's not to love about them?

Yes, I put these in because I know how much people would find them adorable. What’s not to love about them?

24. A blue shell wreath really brings out a beach side touch.

You have to admire the starfish and the bow. Makes it perfect for any beach side cottage.

You have to admire the starfish and the bow. Makes it perfect for any beach side cottage.

25. With enough shiny shells, you can make a mirror frame like this.

Well, it certainly looks like something you'll find in a mermaid home under the sea. Love how intricate it is to behold.

Well, it certainly looks like something you’ll find in a mermaid home under the sea. Love how intricate it is to behold.

26. Set some things on these coral shelves.

Well, they're held up by corals which sometimes wash to the shore. Yet, each gives a nice ocean touch.

Well, they’re held up by corals which sometimes wash to the shore. Yet, each gives a nice ocean touch.

27. Store some precious belongings in this small seashell box.

Well, certainly seems like a box one might find on the seashore. Yet, it's better suited as a decorative item on land.

Well, certainly seems like a box one might find on the seashore. Yet, it’s better suited as a decorative item on land.

28. A seashell tiara like this makes a perfect ocean crown.

Okay, it's more of a crown than a tiara. But come on, any mermaid princess would want one like this.

Okay, it’s more of a crown than a tiara. But come on, any mermaid princess would want one like this.

29. With a basket of seashells, this mirror frame will surely stand out.

Guess this mirror took a lot of time to make from the looks of it. Yet, it seems perfect for any beach side living room or bedroom.

Guess this mirror took a lot of time to make from the looks of it. Yet, it seems perfect for any beach side living room or bedroom.

30. A lighthouse scene can always do with a few seashells on the bottom.

After all, lighthouses appear on the shores in order to serve as a beacon of hope for lost sailors. So it kind of fits to some extent.

After all, lighthouses appear on the shores in order to serve as a beacon of hope for lost sailors. So it kind of fits to some extent.

31. This shell clock can always tell when it’s high tide.

Okay, maybe not. But you have to admire how it's decorated with starfish and sand dollars.

Okay, maybe not. But you have to admire how it’s decorated with starfish and sand dollars.

32. For Christmas on the beach, this star fish topper is perfect for any tree.

So I feature some Christmas decorations on here. Hey, it's not like I'll use ones like these in the next Christmas crafts post any time soon.

So I feature some Christmas decorations on here. Hey, it’s not like I’ll use ones like these in the next Christmas crafts post any time soon.

33. With a scallop and different sized clams, you can create a wind chime.

I'm sure it'll sound quite different than ones made from metal and glass. Still a thing of beauty though.

I’m sure it’ll sound quite different than ones made from metal and glass. Still a thing of beauty though.

34. Of course, some shell mirror frames can be occasionally dark in small places.

This seems like the kind of mirror Ursula would own. Well, if she wasn't more into a simple design in her lair.

This seems like the kind of mirror Ursula would own. Well, if she wasn’t more into a simple design in her lair.

35. Seashells go well with any lighthouse mosaic.

Again, lighthouses are a common motif here. Still, they may often not be decked with shells, you have to hand it to the person who created this.

Again, lighthouses are a common motif here. Still, they may often not be decked with shells, you have to hand it to the person who created this.

36. Seashells can always make a twig wreath look sensational.

Well, if it weren't for the shells, it would just be a wreath of twigs. The shells give this one a lot of color and charm.

Well, if it weren’t for the shells, it would just be a wreath of twigs. The shells give this one a lot of color and charm.

37. Sometimes dirty shells can make a more natural mirror frame.

Yes, I know I show a lot of unique mirror frames on this post. And I know many of these aren't very practical. But they're worth seeing I guarantee you.

Yes, I know I show a lot of unique mirror frames on this post. And I know many of these aren’t very practical. But they’re worth seeing I guarantee you.

38. If you hail from Australia, these seashell koalas will warm your heart.

Who knew you could make koalas out of clam shells. These are adorable. Comes with eucalyptus tree.

Who knew you could make koalas out of clam shells. These are adorable. Comes with eucalyptus tree.

39. These seashell owls are a real hoot.

I guess seashell owls would be easier to make than a lot of seashell animals. But these are truly stunning to look at.

I guess seashell owls would be easier to make than a lot of seashell animals. But these are truly stunning to look at.

40. With seashells, you can make sensational dresses for dolls like these.

Of course, you shouldn't touch them for obvious reasons. Love the one in the purple dress the best.

Of course, you shouldn’t touch them for obvious reasons. Love the one in the purple dress the best.

41. A seashell wreath can always do with a few flowers.

Okay, the flowers might be fake. But it seems like great decoration for any beach side wedding or home.

Okay, the flowers might be fake. But it seems like great decoration for any beach side wedding or home.

42. With enough shells of white, you can make your own seahorse.

This one even has a bridle to boot. Note that most seahorses aren't really horses. They're fish.

This one even has a bridle to boot. Note that most seahorses aren’t really horses. They’re fish.

43. These black seashell flowers are must to any sea side bouquet.

Well, they have mussel shell petals and a snail center. And yes, they look quite lovely with fake stems and leaves.

Well, they have mussel shell petals and a snail center. And yes, they look quite lovely with fake stems and leaves.

44. These shells shown are laid out with a touch of silver.

Again, this was made possible by the magic of spray paint. But none of these have a total coat for understandable reasons.

Again, this was made possible by the magic of spray paint. But none of these have a total coat for understandable reasons.

45. A coral candelabra is perfect for a romantic dinner on the beach.

Okay, it's not totally made from coral since there are shells on the base. But it certainly looks delicate enough to be from under the sea.

Okay, it’s not totally made from coral since there are shells on the base. But it certainly looks delicate enough to be from under the sea.

46. No beach beauty should ever go without pearl and mussel shell earrings.

Okay, those seem quite big for my ears. Yet, if you have strong skin, go for it.

Okay, those seem quite big for my ears. Yet, if you have strong skin, go for it.

47. A sailboat wreath can always use a few seashells.

After all, it's usually the ocean where you see most of these boats anyway. Love how the ribbon matches the sail.

After all, it’s usually the ocean where you see most of these boats anyway. Love how the ribbon matches the sail.

48. These seashell flowers are almost as stunning as the real thing.

Yes, this is a seashell flower arrangement. Yes, it probably took a lot of time and energy to make. But it's surely a thing of beauty.

Yes, this is a seashell flower arrangement. Yes, it probably took a lot of time and energy to make. But it’s surely a thing of beauty.

49. Sometimes as seashell box has a rough top to it.

Yes, it's another seashell box. But these things can be quite fancy if you see enough of them.

Yes, it’s another seashell box. But these things can be quite fancy if you see enough of them.

50. A sea beauty must always be decked in the finest seashells.

This is actually a kind of sculpture people seem to create with shells. I'm not sure why. But it's kind of a thing.

This is actually a kind of sculpture people seem to create with shells. I’m not sure why. But it’s kind of a thing.

51. For that old porcelain look, you may paint these shells blue and white.

Yes, they certainly do have that look to them. But I'm sure some of my readers will enjoy them.

Yes, they certainly do have that look to them. But I’m sure some of my readers will enjoy them.

52. For any seaside bride, a seashell bouquet is a must.

Sure it might be a delicate arrangement. But I'm not sure how you can toss it and not break anything on it. Seashells aren't made of sturdy stuff.

Sure it might be a delicate arrangement. But I’m not sure how you can toss it and not break anything on it. Seashells aren’t made of sturdy stuff.

53. For the yuletide festivities at the beach, this shell Christmas tree will do.

And it surely has to be topped with a starfish, too. Honestly, I'll probably not include this with Christmas crafts this year anyway.

And it surely has to be topped with a starfish, too. Honestly, I’ll probably not include this with Christmas crafts this year anyway.

54. A seashell wreath should be made to carry on an impression.

Seems like it's touched with some seaweed or something that resembles it. Of course, in the sea, there are a lot of animals that look like plants.

Seems like it’s touched with some seaweed or something that resembles it. Of course, in the sea, there are a lot of animals that look like plants.

55. A white shell mirror frame always has a classy look.

Again, I know I've shown a lot of mirror frames on here. But I assure you this white one does have a pearly finish to it. Lovely.

Again, I know I’ve shown a lot of mirror frames on here. But I assure you this white one does have a pearly finish to it. Lovely.

56. This seashell flower picture is a colorful sight at the shore.

Yes, seashell flower pictures are a thing as I've seen at Pinterest. Yet, I love this one the best.

Yes, seashell flower pictures are a thing as I’ve seen at Pinterest. Yet, I love this one the best.

57. With seashells, you can really create an impressive work of art.

This is another one of those figures they decorate with seashell. But this one seems to take shell adornments to a whole new level.

This is another one of those figures they decorate with seashell. But this one seems to take shell adornments to a whole new level.

58. A seashell table can always use some sand.

Of course, sand can get quite messy as well as everywhere. But if you really like the beach, I won't advise against it.

Of course, sand can get quite messy as well as everywhere. But if you really like the beach, I won’t advise against it.

59. For this flower, it all takes a twig and some seashells.

Such shell art never ceases to amaze me. You also have to admire the petals and leaves, too.

Such shell art never ceases to amaze me. You also have to admire the petals and leaves, too.

60. Sometimes it takes a lot of seashells to make one large scallop.

I guess this was done by an artist who had too much time on their hands. At any rate, this is incredible.

I guess this was done by an artist who had too much time on their hands. At any rate, this is incredible.

61. This seashell wreath looks great on any front door.

This includes shells of all shapes, sizes, and colors along with twigs and starfish. Beautiful.

This includes shells of all shapes, sizes, and colors along with twigs and starfish. Beautiful.

62. For those who love Christmas at the beach, you might want to go with these starfish trees.

For some reason, starfish trees like these don't remind me of Christmas. Mostly because I tend to picture snow when there isn't in my area.

For some reason, starfish trees like these don’t remind me of Christmas. Mostly because I tend to picture snow when there isn’t in my area.

63. With cone shells, you can create a 6-pointed star.

Well, it certainly resembles one. But the shells really blend into the background, don't you think?

Well, it certainly resembles one. But the shells really blend into the background, don’t you think?

64. This shell bird is simply irresistible.

Like how they used part of a shell for its beak. So cute.

Like how they used part of a shell for its beak. So cute. Said to be a pelican.

65. This seashell wreath has all the starfish you can ask for.

Well, it's a lighter shell wreath with some unconventional seashells. But it's nevertheless unique.

Well, it’s a lighter shell wreath with some unconventional seashells. But it’s nevertheless unique.

66. Seems like this doll is all shelled out.

Her dress is made from purple mussels. Not sure about the bonnet. But even her hair is made from seashells.

Her dress is made from purple mussels. Not sure about the bonnet. But even her hair is made from seashells.

67. Gold and silver shells this mirror surely make.

Made possible by the magic of spray paint. Seems like something you'd find at an ocean resort.

Made possible by the magic of spray paint. Seems like something you’d find at an ocean resort.

68. This shell cross is decked with yellow flowers.

I mean a shell yellow flower, anyway. Sure it's rather simple but elegant, too.

I mean a shell yellow flower, anyway. Sure it’s rather simple but elegant, too.

69. Hope this shell clock can help you tell the time.

Yes, it's another seashell clock. But this one is pink and in mosaic form.

Yes, it’s another seashell clock. But this one is pink and in mosaic form.

70. These Christmas shell trees will bring good cheer over the holidays.

Yes, I know another seashell Christmas tree. But this one is quite fancy as you can see.

Yes, I know another seashell Christmas tree. But this one is quite fancy as you can see.

71. Large scallops always make a great shell wreath.

This one has the swirly shells with the scallops and starfish. Quite delicate but nonetheless lovely.

This one has the swirly shells with the scallops and starfish. Quite delicate but nonetheless lovely.

72. Perhaps you might want to drop off your conch and stay awhile.

Well, it's a bucket full of shells as you can see. I'm sure this is only used for decoration.

Well, it’s a bucket full of shells as you can see. I’m sure this is only used for decoration.

73. These seashell candles seem to come alight at once.

I think these are lit with a wick. The seashells are in a glass jars. Not sure if I call that fire safe though.

I think these are lit with a wick. The seashells are in a glass jars. Not sure if I call that fire safe though.

74. With shiny shells, you can make a mirror resemble a snowflake.

Maybe not. But this certainly uses a lot of shells with the shiny side up.

Maybe not. But this certainly uses a lot of shells with the shiny side up.

75. You’ll be tickled pink by these seashell flowers.

Yes, these are pink shell flowers. Certainly look pretty and almost real, don't they?

Yes, these are pink shell flowers. Certainly look pretty and almost real, don’t they?

76. Seashells are always great for an under the sea wreath.

This one even has some seaweed and a seahorse. Almost makes you think you're in the ocean.

This one even has some seaweed and a seahorse. Almost makes you think you’re in the ocean.

77. You can stand up your shells in almost anything.

You can uses bottles and candle sticks for these. Depends on the seashell in question.

You can uses bottles and candle sticks for these. Depends on the seashell in question.

78. Shiny shells make shiny mirror frames.

Made possible by the magic of spray paint as far as I'm concerned. Still, love how it sparkles.

Made possible by the magic of spray paint as far as I’m concerned.
Still, love how it sparkles.

79. Nautilus shells make great corners in this mirror frame.

Of course, a nautilus is a marine creature with a snail shell and tentacles. Their shells are quite large as you can see.

Of course, a nautilus is a marine creature with a snail shell and tentacles. Their shells are quite large as you can see.

80. A shell arrangement like this will surely melt your heart.

After all, it's in a heart configuration. Includes flowers, starfish, and coral. Lovely.

After all, it’s in a heart configuration. Includes flowers, starfish, and coral. Lovely.

81. This mussel mirror is all decked in purple splendor.

Well, this must use a lot of mussels if you ask me. Love the black and purple color on this though.

Well, this must use a lot of mussels if you ask me. Love the black and purple color on this though.

82. Shells always make great decor for this chair planter.

Yes. these chair planters do exist as you can see in one of my garden posts. But the shells make it all the more fancy.

Yes. these chair planters do exist as you can see in one of my garden posts. But the shells make it all the more fancy.

83. A decorated shell box must always have legs to stand on.

And this one certainly does. Also has some starfish decoration to boot.

And this one certainly does. Also has some starfish decoration to boot.

84. You can always adorn yourself with some small conch earrings.

Yes, seashells can be that small. I mean mollusks come in all shapes and sizes. Do the math.

Yes, seashells can be that small. I mean mollusks come in all shapes and sizes. Do the math.

85. This seashell shelf is perfect for any seaside home.

Yes, this another seashell shelf. But this one includes actual shells as decoration.

Yes, this another seashell shelf. But this one includes actual shells as decoration.

86. With nets and shells, this sea wreath is good to go.

Well, I have to admire the artistic detail on this one. Love how they make it seem like it's coming from a boat.

Well, I have to admire the artistic detail on this one. Love how they make it seem like it’s coming from a boat.

87. This shell lamp shade is always illuminating.

Well, this really has a unique glow to it. Love this. Wouldn't mind owning this one.

Well, this really has a unique glow to it. Love this. Wouldn’t mind owning this one.

88. This shell queen surely looks like a goddess.

She can almost be a sea nymph herself with how she dresses. Love the outfit.

She can almost be a sea nymph herself with how she dresses. Love the outfit.

89. A beach side home always needs a seashell mailbox.

Doesn't hurt if it includes a dolphin either. Now this looks quite seaside, doesn't it?

Doesn’t hurt if it includes a dolphin either. Now this looks quite seaside, doesn’t it?

90. A seashell bouquet can always use some color.

Indeed seashell bouquets like this one may look pretty. But you wouldn't want to toss them at a wedding.

Indeed seashell bouquets like this one may look pretty. But you wouldn’t want to toss them at a wedding.

91. You can always wear small seashells in your hair.

As long as they are small enough to stick to bobby pins. Still, wouldn't mind having these.

As long as they are small enough to stick to bobby pins. Still, wouldn’t mind having these.

92. There’s nothing more resplendent than a seashell mirror like this.

Yes, I've put a lot of these on this post. But this one really takes the cake with the large whorled shells. Lovely.

Yes, I’ve put a lot of these on this post. But this one really takes the cake with the large whorled shells. Lovely.

93. Bet you’ve never seen a scallop wreath like this one before.

I know this isn't the first scallop wreath on this post. But I assure you that this one is in a different style as you can see.

I know this isn’t the first scallop wreath on this post. But I assure you that this one is in a different style as you can see.

94. These seashell candle sticks are great for any romantic evening on the beach.

Make sure you're away from the tide and it's not windy. Because it won't turn out well.

Make sure you’re away from the tide and it’s not windy. Because it won’t turn out well.

95. A shell bouquet always looks colorful in a scallop.

And it surely looks like a real bouquet to me. Yes, these flowers are made from shells.

And it surely looks like a real bouquet to me. Yes, these flowers are made from shells.

96. Pretty shell flowers always make a pretty picture.

Doesn't hurt if includes a lot of purple, too. Man, this is so beautiful. Lovely.

Doesn’t hurt if includes a lot of purple, too. Man, this is so beautiful. Lovely.

97. With this purple shell mosaic, the white flower is in the center.

Well, it's a wonderful arrangement in purple and white. Yet, I'm not sure how much of it has paint on it.

Well, it’s a wonderful arrangement in purple and white. Yet, I’m not sure how much of it has paint on it.

98. Try planting your flowers in this fancy shell pot.

Yes, this pot is decorated with fine white shells. Still, you can't help but love this one.

Yes, this pot is decorated with fine white shells. Still, you can’t help but love this one.

99. This doll is simply sensational in her seashell dress.

Not sure if there's one available in people size. But you have to admire the detail.

Not sure if there’s one available in people size. But you have to admire the detail.

100. Bet you never saw a seaside chess table like this before.

Even if it's not a chess table, it's still pretty amazing. Love the decor on this.

Even if it’s not a chess table, it’s still pretty amazing. Love the decor on this.

The Transparent World of Glass

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

glass

You may remember when I did my post on stained glass this summer. Yet, I’ve thought about doing a post on glass for a while since I’ve often come across glass related craft projects for my blog. Anyway, glass is basically everywhere in our modern society that we tend to take it for granted since it’s now designated as a recyclable material. But this wasn’t always the case before the Industrial Revolution when glass was so expensive that colonists who traveled to the New World would often take their windows with them on the boat. Today, not only is glass just as prevalent as plastic as well as used in a wide variety of things we take for granted, there are also many different types. The oldest and most familiar types of glass to us are silicate glasses which are mainly derived from silica a main constituent in sand. You have soda lime glass that’s often used in glass bottles and other containers as well as the more durable quartz glass. You may also be familiar with the modern fiberglass which has only been mass produced since the 1930s as well as has so many applications. We can go on. Not mention, before coal and steel, my area of Southwestern Pennsylvania was distinguished on its glass making as well which explains why such towns like Glassport exist.  And even when the area became known for its steel and coal industry, its glass industry still lived on well into the 20th century, some even to today with 20 currently operating in the region. One of the earliest is the New Geneva Glass Works that was active from 1797-1847 which had Albert Gallatin as an early investor. Bakewell Glass in Pittsburgh founded in 1808 was known as a pioneer in flint glass in America as well as had a family member invent and patent the first known process of pressed glass in 1825 which made the mass production of glass possible for the first time.  F.&J. Mckee Company on Pittsburgh’s South Side founded in 1850 would be associated with Western PA glass for years. The Duncan & Miller Glass Company existed in Washington, PA which spanned from the late 1860s to the 1950s which is distinguished by fine craftsmanship. The Macbeth Evans Glass Company founded and based in Charleroi in 1899 was known for its glassware with beautiful designs, especially in the 1930s. Then there’s PPG Industries started as a pane glass company in the 1880s and was among the first in the world to power its furnaces with local natural gas which stipulated widespread industrial use. In fact, the words PPG stand for “Pittsburgh Plate Glass.” Not to mention, it’s possible that their glass was used as windows in plenty of early skyscrapers. Today PPG is still around as a multi-billion dollar Fortune 500 company that’s diversified to include paints, coatings, specialty materials, chemicals, and even fiberglass, is still headquartered in Pittsburgh at the iconic PPG Place that resembles a cool evil fortress, has 150 manufacturing locations around the world, and they recently received the naming rights from Consol Energy on what’s now the PPG Paints Arena. Also, they still make glass but not just in windows. Anyway, you’ll find a lot of glass crafts on Pinterest since the material is often used in disposable items and other products. Which is where I come in for your reading pleasure.

  1. This glass cup reflects many different colors.
No, this isn't a hallucination. The cup is designed this way with all the colorful bubbles. Not sure if it's an improvement.

No, this isn’t a hallucination. The cup is designed this way with all the colorful bubbles. Not sure if it’s an improvement.

2. Welcome guests aboard your yacht with these glasses.

Okay, these may just be for decoration. But they're certainly sea worthy to some.

Okay, these may just be for decoration. But they’re certainly sea worthy to some.

3. Watch out for this glass dragon eye.

Well, at least it'll make guests think twice about stealing your drink. Then again, better used for decoration.

Well, at least it’ll make guests think twice about stealing your drink. Then again, better used for decoration.

4. An old wine bottle is great for holding flowers.

Works so long as you keep the cork in place. Yet, not sure if it enhances the beauty of any wall you hang them on.

Works so long as you keep the cork in place. Yet, not sure if it enhances the beauty of any wall you hang them on.

5. Imagine a bowl like this on your mantle.

Kind of reminds me of a nebula. Love the colors here. Beautiful.

Kind of reminds me of a nebula. Love the colors here. Beautiful.

6. Perhaps this glass bottle would do with a flowery design.

Well, you have to admire the artwork here. Love that pretty pink flower on green.

Well, you have to admire the artwork here. Love that pretty pink flower on green.

7. A decorated wine bottle can make a great vase for flowers.

Okay, the flowers are fake and the bottle is covered in cloth. But it might look great on a mantle or table.

Okay, the flowers are fake and the bottle is covered in cloth. But it might look great on a mantle or table.

8. This bottle seems to have all the stars on its exterior.

Not sure if it's supposed to be the cosmos or outer space. But it sure twinkles if you ask me.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be the cosmos or outer space. But it sure twinkles if you ask me.

9. Perhaps these wine glass candle holders remind you of the seashore.

Each of them even have blue sand and shells in them. Also, the string gives a beach like touch.

Each of them even have blue sand and shells in them. Also, the string gives a beach like touch.

10. How about a bottle with a beaded mosaic?

Helps that it's in a floral design. Love how the gold ones stand out.

Helps that it’s in a floral design. Love how the gold ones stand out.

11. How about a wine bottle of beads and sequins?

Now that looks kind of funky. Love the flowers and the purple stopper.

Now that looks kind of funky. Love the flowers and the purple stopper.

12. This mason jar chandelier is perfect for any dining room.

Well, depends on the kind of lighting you use. And I don't think this one uses electricity.

Well, depends on the kind of lighting you use. And I don’t think this one uses electricity.

13. Raise a glass with these butterfly champagne flutes.

Well, these gold butterflies certainly look pretty. Not sure if I'd want to drink from them though.

Well, these gold butterflies certainly look pretty. Not sure if I’d want to drink from them though.

14. Heard about a row of bottles? How about a whole fence of them?

Nice to see a fence with so many different colors that the sun can reflect from. Still, decorative use only.

Nice to see a fence with so many different colors that the sun can reflect from. Still, decorative use only.

15. No lawn can be complete without a glass bottle peacock.

Well, isn't that as pretty as a peacock. Of course, some may not have a thing for green bottles as feathers.

Well, isn’t that as pretty as a peacock. Of course, some may not have a thing for green bottles as feathers.

16. This bar set certainly sets everything fancy doesn’t it?

Since everything here is certainly decked in lace. Manly Christmas present, it is not.

Since everything here is certainly decked in lace. Manly Christmas present, it is not.

17. It’s only fitting that these wine bottles are decked with grapes.

After all, wine comes from grapes. So it's only fair. Love how they used glass pieces for each of them.

After all, wine comes from grapes. So it’s only fair. Love how they used glass pieces for each of them.

18. These stained glass bottles can light up a room.

Doesn't hurt they're in psychedelic colors either. Love these.

Doesn’t hurt they’re in psychedelic colors either. Love these.

19. These animal wine glass candle holders are great for down on the farm.

Includes cow, horse, pig, rooster, sheep, and chicken. Yes, they look childish but you can't hate them.

Includes cow, horse, pig, rooster, sheep, and chicken. Yes, they look childish but you can’t hate them.

20. A stained glass bottle should also match the glasses.

Seems like the kind of fine dining set you'll see at a modern art museum. Nice that the glasses match.

Seems like the kind of fine dining set you’ll see at a modern art museum. Nice that the glasses match.

21. A purple bottle works nice with gold trimmings.

This one has lovely flowers and a dragon fly. Love the decor. Beautiful.

This one has lovely flowers and a dragon fly. Love the decor. Beautiful.

22. These bottles come with a unique feminine face.

Well, these have paintings of beautiful women like they're works of art. Love the trimmings on these.

Well, these have paintings of beautiful women like they’re works of art. Love the trimmings on these.

23. A mosaic bottle is just as nice.

Yes, they have mosaic bottles like these, too. Love the design on this one.

Yes, they have mosaic bottles like these, too. Love the design on this one.

24. This rainbow night light should chase your nightmares away.

Well, it will surely light up any room with color. Would like to see this on.

Well, it will surely light up any room with color. Would like to see this on.

25. This mosaic bottle has a classy look to it.

I especially love the purple on this perfume bottle. The pearls are a nice touch, too.

I especially love the purple on this perfume bottle. The pearls are a nice touch, too.

26. By fusing some glassware, you can make an ideal platter.

Of course, it might take a blow torch to do the trick. But you can see what I mean.

Of course, it might take a blow torch to do the trick. But you can see what I mean.

27. Got old beer bottles? Make candle holders out of them.

You have to wonder whether these are for some man cave or something. But I love how they used the tops as stands.

You have to wonder whether these are for some man cave or something. But I love how they used the tops as stands.

28. May I present you with a glass of the beach.

Well, it certainly has a nice seaside view. Love the sun over the waves.

Well, it certainly has a nice seaside view. Love the sun over the waves.

29. With this bottle, you can see an eerie night sky.

Wonder if it contains any witch's brew. Covered in a polymer clay. Like the moon.

Wonder if it contains any witch’s brew. Covered in a polymer clay. Like the moon.

30. How about decorate your room with some colorful mason jars?

These come in 3 colors and have gold foil on them. What's more to love?

These come in 3 colors and have gold foil on them. What’s more to love?

31. No one should ever do without a colorful glass bowl like this.

Sure it seems like a decorated fish bowl. But you have to love how it's painted.

Sure it seems like a decorated fish bowl. But you have to love how it’s painted.

32. This bottle comes with all the unique trimmings.

Love the pearls and flower on this. Wouldn't mind having this as a decoration.

Love the pearls and flower on this. Wouldn’t mind having this as a decoration.

33. With a pine cone this bottle carries a rustic look.

Well, a fall look, anyway when everything seems dead. Just like how I felt when Trump won the election.

Well, a fall look, anyway when everything seems dead. Just like how I felt when Trump won the election.

34. Now these give beer glasses a whole new meaning.

Well, these beer glasses are made from beer bottles. So feel free to put a Bud Light in a Rolling Rock one.

Well, these beer glasses are made from beer bottles. So feel free to put a Bud Light in a Rolling Rock one.

35. For a more colorful celebration, these butterfly flutes hit the spot.

Yes, they're more fancy than the other ones. But I think they're just as nice. Lovely.

Yes, they’re more fancy than the other ones. But I think they’re just as nice. Lovely.

36. I guess you’ve never seen a chandelier like this one.

Yep, this one consists of beer bottles. I know it's tacky but there are guys who will want this for their man cave.

Yep, this one consists of beer bottles. I know it’s tacky but there are guys who will want this for their man cave.

37. In this bowl, a blue butterfly is as vibrant as ever.

I'll say. Love how it shines in the sunlight. Stunning beyond compare.

I’ll say. Love how it shines in the sunlight. Stunning beyond compare.

38. This glass block light comes with a few homey touches.

This one depicts a birdhouse with flowers. Like how it's beautifully painted.

This one depicts a birdhouse with flowers. Like how it’s beautifully painted.

39. For a vintage evening, this grape glass block light is for you.

This one has pink and purple together. Hope it gives a warm glow.

This one has pink and purple together. Hope it gives a warm glow.

40. You’ve put flowers in a vase. How about flowers on a vase?

Of course, vase is a word that can be pronounced 2 different ways. The short "a" way doesn't seem correct to me though.

Of course, vase is a word that can be pronounced 2 different ways. The short “a” way doesn’t seem correct to me though.

41. Watch the little birdie on this vase.

Love how it sits among the purple flowers. So pretty to behold. So well painted.

Love how it sits among the purple flowers. So pretty to behold. So well painted.

42. This windmill bottle really brings a rustic touch to any room.

This is quite clever if you ask me. Love how it has a little door and window. Wonder if it actually turns.

This is quite clever if you ask me. Love how it has a little door and window. Wonder if it actually turns.

43. This bottle lamp is especially illuminating.

Like how it consists of strips of all different colors. Wouldn't mind having this one.

Like how it consists of strips of all different colors. Wouldn’t mind having this one.

44. There’s something underwater going on with these wine glasses.

These have an underwater scene to them. The glass handles are even wavy as well.

These have an underwater scene to them. The glass handles are even wavy as well.

45. Never thought bottles could shine like these.

These are glass bottles that are painted and have clay on them to seem like they're metal. Love the artistic touch.

These are glass bottles that are painted and have clay on them to seem like they’re metal. Love the artistic touch.

46. Take a peek at these glass feathers on a tray.

They're all in different colors like they're all from different birds. But they sit on the same log.

They’re all in different colors like they’re all from different birds. But they sit on the same log.

47. Hope you love the roses on this bottle.

Yes, these roses are very well painted that you'd think they're a work of art. Love it.

Yes, these roses are very well painted that you’d think they’re a work of art. Love it.

48. A perfume bottle must always be well decorated.

This one has flowers and gold mesh on it. Love the flowers.

This one has flowers and gold mesh on it. Love the flowers.

49. Bet you’ve never saw a fishbowl like this before.

Then again, you don't have to do much with it since it's just decoration. Think this is pretty clever.

Then again, you don’t have to do much with it since it’s just decoration. Think this is pretty clever.

50. This wine glass candle holder has a rather beachy touch to it.

Like how it has some shells and sand. Makes it almost feel like you were there.

Like how it has some shells and sand. Makes it almost feel like you were there.

51. These 4 bottle lights can surely dazzle a room.

Like how some of these have terms like "evil" or "bitch." Must be used for parties.

Like how some of these have terms like “evil” or “bitch.” Must be used for parties.

52. How about a bottle lamp with palm trees?

Apparently, there are a lot of glass items with beach stuff on it. Not so sure why that is.

Apparently, there are a lot of glass items with beach stuff on it. Not so sure why that is.

53. You know about stained glass windows. How about stained glass jars?

Well, these are quite unique. Love how these have flowers on them. Beautiful.

Well, these are quite unique. Love how these have flowers on them. Beautiful.

54. Here’s a nice bouquet of flowery glass plates.

Yes, these are glass plates made into flowers. Don't ask me how it's possible. But I really love this one.

Yes, these are glass plates made into flowers. Don’t ask me how it’s possible. But I really love this one.

55. I’m sure someone is bound to enjoy these flowery wine glasses.

Each of these are delicately painted with floral scenes. Better suited for decoration though.

Each of these are delicately painted with floral scenes. Better suited for decoration though.

56. Hope an ornate bottle like this suits your fancy.

This is covered with clay in intricate designs. Still, this is a very beautiful design.

This is covered with clay in intricate designs. Still, this is a very beautiful design.

57. These glass coasters are great with pressed pansies.

Actually you can make glass coasters with any flower. It's just these are with pansies.

Actually you can make glass coasters with any flower. It’s just these are with pansies.

58. These glass bottles would make handy candle holders for a romantic evening.

These also seem to come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. Not sure where I'd find ones like these.

These also seem to come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. Not sure where I’d find ones like these.

59. These Disney Princess wine glass candle holders will make you feel royally welcome.

Each one is turned upside down as a dress. Ariel's is just right side up since she's a mermaid.

Each one is turned upside down as a dress. Ariel’s is just right side up since she’s a mermaid.

60. You can make glasses with some old jars.

Interesting glasses though not ideal for a dinner party. Still, these are pretty creative.

Interesting glasses though not ideal for a dinner party. Still, these are pretty creative.

61. These glass bottles seemed all starfished out.

I think these might be used for wedding centerpieces. Particularly if one takes place on a beach.

I think these might be used for wedding centerpieces. Particularly if one takes place on a beach.

62. This frosted bottle with a snowflake contains winter magic.

Well, it's not fancy enough for a Christmas decoration. But I do think it's so ornate that I couldn't pass it up.

Well, it’s not fancy enough for a Christmas decoration. But I do think it’s so ornate that I couldn’t pass it up.

63. A rainbow chandelier is certainly dazzling on the ceiling.

This one consists of test tubes filled with different colors around it. I think it's quite stunning to say the least.

This one consists of test tubes filled with different colors around it. I think it’s quite stunning to say the least.

64. These royal blue glasses are great for any festive occasion.

I think these are also wedding glasses with some royal blue stain. Like the moon and the peacock.

I think these are also wedding glasses with some royal blue stain. Like the moon and the peacock.

65. These bottles have a stellar silver touch.

These are glass bottles with silver spray paint on them. Almost look like they're metal, don't they?

These are glass bottles with silver spray paint on them. Almost look like they’re metal, don’t they?

66. Glitter wine glasses or glitter shot glasses?

Well, they sure look sparkly if you ask me. Love these. So pretty.

Well, they sure look sparkly if you ask me. Love these. So pretty.

67. This bottle lamp seems fresh as a daisy.

Well, it has a daisy painted on it which I think is a work of art. The ribbon is a perfect match.

Well, it has a daisy painted on it which I think is a work of art. The ribbon is a perfect match.

68. This glass bottle is now a clay castle.

Love this fairy castle. Like how it has pearls near the roof. Stunning.

Love this fairy castle. Like how it has pearls near the roof. Stunning.

69. This perfume bottle has a rather flowery disposition.

This looks very colorful with flowers and foliage galore. It's made by an artist. Lovely.

This looks very colorful with flowers and foliage galore. It’s made by an artist. Lovely.

70. This perfume bottle features a stunning decor of roses, gold, and pearls.

Yes, this is a very fancy bottle. Love the decor on this. Beautiful.

Yes, this is a very fancy bottle. Love the decor on this. Beautiful.

71. There’s nothing more elegant than these flowery purple champagne flutes.

I'd so totally want these for my wedding for obvious reasons. Those flowers are lovely.

I’d so totally want these for my wedding for obvious reasons. Those flowers are lovely.

72. A mosaic bottle is always stunning in purple.

Love how this one has purple glass tiles on this bottle. Love the bejeweled stones, too.

Love how this one has purple glass tiles on this bottle. Love the bejeweled stones, too.

73. This mosaic perfume bottle is decked in blue and gold.

Well, it's in gold and shades of blue. But it's nonetheless fit for any mantle as a decoration.

Well, it’s in gold and shades of blue. But it’s nonetheless fit for any mantle as a decoration.

74. These painted vases can always bring you flowery joy.

Well, they're not like the other flowery vases I previously showed. But they're surely finely painted.

Well, they’re not like the other flowery vases I previously showed. But they’re surely finely painted.

75. I bet you’ve never seen glass bottles like these before.

Well, these seem to be bottles you might find in some old apothecary cabinet in Harry Potter. But they're nevertheless lovely.

Well, these seem to be bottles you might find in some old apothecary cabinet in Harry Potter. But they’re nevertheless lovely.

76. Perhaps you can use these colorful candlesticks.

I'm not sure how they obtain the color of these. I know there's a process. But I'm not sure how it works.

I’m not sure how they obtain the color of these. I know there’s a process. But I’m not sure how it works.

77. This mirror bottle is quite reflective if you ask me.

Well, it's a lovely mosaic bottle with mirror bits. Bet it'll look great on a mantle. Love it.

Well, it’s a lovely mosaic bottle with mirror bits. Bet it’ll look great on a mantle. Love it.

78. These wedding glasses are fit for any bride and groom on their special day.

They're sure to bring a great reception if you ask me. Love these.

They’re sure to bring a great reception if you ask me. Love these.

79. A mosaic bottle is always enhanced with strings of pearls.

The tiles and stones aren't that shabby either. Still, this is very lovely if you ask me.

The tiles and stones aren’t that shabby either. Still, this is very lovely.

80. This chandelier of jars will brighten any dark room from the ceiling.

Yes, it's another jar chandelier. But this one is in a different configuration than the one I saw earlier.

Yes, it’s another jar chandelier. But this one is in a different configuration than the one I saw earlier.

81. A wine glass should always have what wine is made from.

This one has 3 kinds of grapes that are in 3 different colors. I'm sure a wino will love this.

This one has 3 kinds of grapes that are in 3 different colors. I’m sure a wino will love this.

82. This flowery bottle will surely catch one’s eye.

These flowers seem to be hand painted like they're from a porcelain plate. Lovely.

These flowers seem to be hand painted like they’re from a porcelain plate. Lovely.

83. A genie bottle always dazzles with glass tiles.

Sure you won't find any genie here. But it'll be a nice addition to any living room decor.

Sure you won’t find any genie here. But it’ll be a nice addition to any living room decor.

84. Each of these bottles has a spectacular painted design you can’t miss.

Yes, these are eye catching patterns. Some of these might make your eyes sore. Or make you think you're tripping.

Yes, these are eye catching patterns. Some of these might make your eyes sore. Or make you think you’re tripping.

85. Shells always seem to make great bottle stoppers.

Yes, this is a beach bottle assortment to remind you of the ocean. Love the shells on these.

Yes, this is a beach bottle assortment to remind you of the ocean. Love the shells on these.

86. You have to admire the handles on these fancy bottles.

Well, these are sure fancy. I know there's a process to create of the fixtures, but I can't really explain it at the moment.

Well, these are sure fancy. I know there’s a process to create of the fixtures, but I can’t really explain it at the moment.

87. Pink candle holders must always have pink painted flowers.

Helps that they're made from pink glass. But not sure if they'll go with anything for Valentine's Day.

Helps that they’re made from pink glass. But not sure if they’ll go with anything for Valentine’s Day.

88. With wine bottles you can create a string of lights.

Think about combining empty wine bottles with Christmas lights. Might make neighbors wonder about your drinking in the meantime.

Think about combining empty wine bottles with Christmas lights. Might make neighbors wonder about your drinking in the meantime.

89. Even a small blue bottle can be quite fancy.

Sure it doesn't look like much. But you have to love the gold leaf on this. So stunning.

Sure it doesn’t look like much. But you have to love the gold leaf on this. So stunning.

90. A bottle chandelier can illuminate all different colors.

Yes, they sure light up all right. They can also shine in the sunlight during the daytime, too.

Yes, they sure light up all right. They can also shine in the sunlight during the daytime, too.

91. You have to be mad not to adore these champagne flutes in pearls.

Sure the pearls are fake since they cover the glasses. But they're nevertheless stunning to behold.

Sure the pearls are fake since they cover the glasses. But they’re nevertheless stunning to behold.

92. This jar full of buttons is a great base for a lamp.

Well, an electric lamp shaped like an oil one. Still, the buttons make it more festive and quaint.

Well, an electric lamp shaped like an oil one. Still, the buttons make it more festive and quaint.

93. A bottle like this always has to be draped in gold.

Well, it's certainly decorated like an overdressed bottle of champagne. According to Pinterest, it's said to light up.

Well, it’s certainly decorated like an overdressed bottle of champagne. According to Pinterest, it’s said to light up.

94. Mason jars can always contain a candle flame on a chandelier.

Then again, these candles may be electronic. But I think this is quaint just the same.

Then again, these candles may be electronic. But I think this is quaint just the same.

95. Thought you’d never see a stained glass bottle lamp like this before.

I think this is made with sea glass which looks quite different from the regular kind. At any rate, love how the light shows through it.

I think this is made with sea glass which looks quite different from the regular kind. At any rate, love how the light shows through it.

96. A lovely wine bottle must always be painted with gold trim.

This is a rather fancy design. Love the detail on this. Couldn't see myself doing this design.

This is a rather fancy design. Love the detail on this. Couldn’t see myself doing this design.

97. A flat bottle makes a wonderful flowery tableau.

This is a beautiful design that's beyond compare. Love the detail on this. Stunning.

This is a beautiful design that’s beyond compare. Love the detail on this. Stunning.

98. Shiny bottle vases always make ideal centerpieces.

This one has a black shiny exterior with white markings and branches. All in all, these are lovely to behold.

This one has a black shiny exterior with white markings and branches. All in all, these are lovely to behold.

99. A bottle like this is always covered in vines.

Yes, it's looks a bit flowery and viney if you ask me. But I think this is quite cool. Love it.

Yes, it’s looks a bit flowery and viney if you ask me. But I think this is quite cool. Love it.

100. Sometimes a fancy bottle always has to come with a fancy glass.

As you can see here, the bottle and glass each are uniquely decorated in the same pattern. Still, I think these are lovely in their own way.

As you can see here, the bottle and glass each are uniquely decorated in the same pattern. Still, I think these are lovely in their own way.

Mistakes Were Made with Newspaper Corrections

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

wsj-correction-notice-nov-6-2013

Last Tuesday, over 60 million Americans would make one of the biggest mistakes in American history as well as in their lives. For the record, I did the right thing by voting for Hillary Clinton as well as more Americans who voted since she won the popular vote. But that doesn’t matter because President-elect Pussygrabber won the Electoral College due to those critical states having a bunch of racists willing to overlook how morally degenerate he is. Which means I’m totally not looking forward to Thanksgiving and not sure who the hell many people in my area are anymore. Of course, this kind of mistake can’t be easily remedied and we’ll probably have to live with it for 4 years. Yet, this article doesn’t pertain to such errors which can be remedied. And nothing shows this more than the newspaper corrections section. Because newspapers are run by human beings. And sometimes even newspapers can make errors in their reporting. So if readers notice something wrong in the articles, they can call the newspaper who will correct that mistake the next day. These corrections are listed in a special section. If it’s online, they’re listed in the articles themselves. Now corrections are a fact of life in newspapers and they’re usually a blurbs that usually say nothing noteworthy. Yet, reading some of these corrections will make you wonder what the hell did these reporters do wrong since they sound straight out of an SNL sketch. So this is where I come in.

  1. Dead woman not returning a reporter’s call? How rude!
Yeah, asking a woman for comment in April is kind of stupid if she died last December. Of course, she wouldn't be able to comment.

Yeah, asking a woman for comment in April is kind of stupid if she died last December. Of course, she wouldn’t be able to comment. Dead people tell no tales.

2. Sometimes omitting one letter makes all the difference.

You have to feel for Pastor Dick Bigelow here who was incorrectly identified as Dick Bigblow. You know the kind of name that reminds you of a male porn star.

You have to feel for Pastor Dick Bigelow here who was incorrectly identified as Dick Bigblow. You know the kind of name that reminds you of a male porn star.

3. Apparently, there are Marvel fans who can distinguish between Ant Man and the Atom.

Not only do they get the identities wrong, they also alleged that The Atom can talk to ants (which is one of Ant Man's talents). Yeah, this is kind of embarrassing.

Not only do they get the identities wrong, they also alleged that The Atom can talk to ants (which is one of Ant Man’s talents). Yeah, this is kind of embarrassing.

4. To be fair, you can’t always establish a gender with an Asian name.

To be fair, I had to read journal articles in Asian history while I was in college. Even I couldn't distinguish the author's gender. So I can totally see where this paper is coming from.

To be fair, I had to read journal articles in Asian history while I was in college. Even I couldn’t distinguish the author’s gender. So I can totally see where this paper is coming from.

5. Apparently, this publication doesn’t know the difference between the acting profession and the oldest profession.

For God's sake, it's circus acts, not sex acts. Man, I guess the actress they quoted must be very pissed off by now.

For God’s sake, it’s circus acts, not sex acts. Man, I guess the actress they quoted must be very pissed off by now.

6. When it comes to herpetology, comedians seem to know more than the newspapers.

It's even funnier that John Cleese had to point that out that pythons aren't poisonous snakes. Yes, this is a silly mistake.

It’s even funnier that John Cleese had to point that out that pythons aren’t poisonous snakes. Yes, this is a silly mistake.

7. So it’s 5 beers, not 5 years.

For some reason, 5 beers to get on the dance floor seems to make more sense. And the reasons seem obvious.

For some reason, 5 beers to get on the dance floor seems to make more sense. And the reasons seem obvious.

8. Before you put someone on a female author list, make sure they’re actually a woman.

Then again, most people think Evelyn is a girl's name anyway. But Evelyn Waugh was a dude despite the girly name.

Then again, most people think Evelyn is a girl’s name anyway. But Evelyn Waugh was a dude despite the girly name.

9. Unfortunately, this publication didn’t think the Pope was Catholic.

Yes, it should've been "non-Italian," instead of "non-Catholic." Because the Pope is head of the Catholic Church, duh.

Yes, it should’ve been “non-Italian,” instead of “non-Catholic.” Because the Pope is head of the Catholic Church, duh.

10. In Britain, it’s important to distinguish between “team” and “tea.”

Because one can lead to worse connotations than the other. Of course, someone won't be happy about this.

Because one can lead to worse connotations than the other. Of course, someone won’t be happy about this.

11. Sorry, but this guy’s interpretation of Revelation was quite different.

Interestingly, many people do believe that Obama was the Anti-Christ. And a lot of them voted for Trump who seems like a more suitable candidate in my opinion.

Interestingly, many people do believe that Obama was the Anti-Christ. And a lot of them voted for Trump who seems like a more suitable candidate in my opinion.

12. So there weren’t 30,000 pigs floating down the river?

This correction states that 30 pigs floated down a river which is a lot. But not like 30,000 that could bring down Pigaggeddon.

This correction states that 30 pigs floated down a river which is a lot. But not like 30,000 that could bring down Pigaggeddon.

13. Uh, this author wants to tell everyone that she’s not married to her dog.

She goes on to say that her dog is married to someone else like another dog. Sure it's not bestiality but it's nonetheless strange.

She goes on to say that her dog is married to someone else like another dog. Sure it’s not bestiality but it’s nonetheless strange.

14. I don’t know about you but this mistake should’ve been corrected much earlier.

I'm sure that everyone knew that this kid was a boy by this point. Seriously, there's even a picture of him.

I’m sure that everyone knew that this kid was a boy by this point. Seriously, there’s even a picture of him.

15. Sorry about this publication getting its goat war sources wrong.

What makes me scratch my head more when reading this isn't the corrections. It's why this newspaper had a goat war article in the first place. Because that seems more or less inspired by an acid trip to me.

What makes me scratch my head more when reading this isn’t the corrections. It’s why this newspaper had a goat war article in the first place. Because that seems more or less inspired by an acid trip to me.

16. We’d like to apologize for a hyphen in our print edition.

It later goes on to talk about an Italian villa that has 17 stone dwarf statues. And they're not sure how much they weigh.

It later goes on to talk about an Italian villa that has 17 stone dwarf statues. And they’re not sure how much they weigh.

17. Apparently, Nintendo fans weren’t having it with Mario and Luigi being listed as janitors.

Nowadays, naming Mario and Luigi as janitors instead of plumbers would be unthinkable. But this article is from the 1980s.

Nowadays, naming Mario and Luigi as janitors instead of plumbers would be unthinkable. But this article is from the 1980s.

18. Our apologies to an artist’s girlfriend whom we labeled as a whore.

Calling someone a whore isn't a big deal in everyday conversation. Well, at least not as a big deal as a newspaper calling this. Man, this paper really doesn't want to get sued.

Calling someone a whore isn’t a big deal in everyday conversation. Well, at least not as a big deal as a newspaper calling this. Man, this paper really doesn’t want to get sued.

19. You know that abortion we reported earlier? Well, that never happened.

As a Catholic, I don't find the topic of abortion amusing at all. Yet, in this case, it's kind of amusing how a story like this probably caused a tidal waver of scandal for nothing.

As a Catholic, I don’t find the topic of abortion amusing at all. In fact, quite the opposite. Yet, in this case, it’s kind of funny how a story like this probably caused a tidal waver of scandal for nothing.

20. Okay, we kind of screwed things up on a bunch of articles so let’s give a brief summary.

At least the Daily Mail has the courtesy to apologize for stuff they make up. Unlike Fox News who tend to get the facts wrong all the time.

At least the Daily Mail has the courtesy to apologize for stuff they make up. Unlike Fox News who tend to get the facts wrong all the time.

21. When a newspaper has several paragraphs on an article they screwed up on, you know it’s bad.

I guess with having to correct an entire story like this, the reporter who wrote the original story is probably out of a job. Man, wonder how much credibility this paper has lost.

I guess with having to correct an entire story like this, the reporter who wrote the original story is probably out of a job. Man, wonder how much credibility this paper has lost.

22. Unfortunately, biblical literacy isn’t a big deal in British newspapers.

However, mistaking that it was Moses who built Noah's Ark is pretty unacceptable. Mostly because everyone knows that story about Noah's Ark while Moses doesn't appear until Exodus.

However, mistaking that it was Moses who built Noah’s Ark is pretty unacceptable. Mostly because everyone knows that story about Noah’s Ark while Moses doesn’t appear until Exodus.

23. Remember that carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide are two different gases with one being a deadly poison.

Yes, I'm sure carbon monoxide doesn't cure hiccups. Because I know it kills people.

Yes, I’m sure carbon monoxide doesn’t cure hiccups. Because I know it kills people.

24. Dear readers, please don’t make toast like Jamie Oliver does.

Besides, if you want to make toast with cheese on it, I'd recommend a toaster oven. Because this method described is very dangerous.

Besides, if you want to make toast with cheese on it, I’d recommend a toaster oven. Because this method described is very dangerous.

25. If a publication should do an article about Star Wars, make sure they watched the movies.

Love how they end that correction. But still, most people know that Luke didn't meat Obi Wan Kenobi at the Cantina. It was when Luke and the droids were besieged by Tuscan Raiders.

Love how they end that correction. But still, most people know that Luke didn’t meat Obi Wan Kenobi at the Cantina. It was when Luke and the droids were besieged by Tuscan Raiders.

26. We now believe the guy in the band was Fred Durst, not Robert Durst as previously thought.

I can totally see where this paper is coming from. And yes, the Associated Press can make mistakes, too.

I can totally see where this paper is coming from. And yes, the Associated Press can make mistakes, too.

27. Our apologies to a woman we once reported was fined for prostitution.

Actually her real crime was failure to stop at a railroad crossing, not prostitution. Guess this woman wasn't happy about that.

Actually her real crime was failure to stop at a railroad crossing, not prostitution. Guess this woman wasn’t happy about that.

28. Okay, this paper really screwed up on covering the 2016 presidential race.

You have to wonder who this paper sent to cover the race. And yes, saying that Marco Rubio is a Florida congressman instead of a Senator is the most noticeable here.

You have to wonder who this paper sent to cover the race. And yes, saying that Marco Rubio is a Florida congressman instead of a Senator is the most noticeable here.

29. Our apologies to Mrs. Letterman as reports of her passing were greatly exaggerated.

I think if David Letterman said his mother was dead, we would've known by now. But this paper got this wrong.

I think if David Letterman said his mother was dead, we would’ve known by now. But this paper got this wrong.

30. We admit that Central Asian geography isn’t our strong suit.

I'm sure plenty of people thought that Kyrzbekistan was a real country, too. Thanks for the info.

I’m sure plenty of people thought that Kyrzbekistan was a real country, too. Thanks for the clearing that out.

31. Sometimes punctuation can change the meaning.

Yeah, "Love Trump's Hate" sounds different from "love trumps hate." The apostrophe is unnecessary.

Yeah, “Love Trump’s Hate” sounds different from “love trumps hate.” The apostrophe is unnecessary.

32. Dear readers, all I know about Canada revolves around its hockey teams so don’t blame me for screwing up.

I think this reporter didn't really do much research on his or her article. So I think blaming the Edmonton Oilers and the NHL is far fetched.

I think this reporter didn’t really do much research on his or her article. So I think blaming the Edmonton Oilers and the NHL is far fetched.

33. Well, our original reading was correct if you used a different scale.

Yeah, Fahrenheit and Celsius have different temperature scales. Still, I usually opt for the former.

Yeah, Fahrenheit and Celsius have different temperature scales. Still, I usually opt for the former.

34. Sorry, David Brooks, but Moses didn’t part the Dead Sea. It was the Red Sea.

And yet, another biblical mistake. But this one comes from the New York Times.

And yet, another biblical mistake. But this one comes from the New York Times.

35. Turns out that was a Winchester 1873 gun not a Winchester 1773.

Like the note of the decrepit cowboy. Still, a 1773 gun wouldn't make much sense since you can't fire it once without reloading.

Like the note of the decrepit cowboy. Still, a 1773 gun wouldn’t make much sense since you can’t fire it once without reloading.

36. We regret to identify the woman in this photo as a porn star.

I guess US magazine would've been subject to a lawsuit if it didn't. Still, that's pretty bad.

I guess US magazine would’ve been subject to a lawsuit if it didn’t. Still, that’s pretty bad.

37. Dear Readers, we have of jumble answers all jumbled up.

Let's hope the Arizona Republic gets their puzzle section straightened out. Yeah, it all seems jumbled here.

Let’s hope the Arizona Republic gets their puzzle section straightened out. Yeah, it all seems jumbled here.

38. We apologize for that report about cows falling from planes which is just plain urban legend.

Still, while we can be relieved there aren't any cows falling from the sky, it's kind of disappointing. Seriously, you sometimes wish stories like this could be true just not in your own back yard.

Still, while we can be relieved there aren’t any cows falling from the sky, it’s kind of disappointing. Seriously, you sometimes wish stories like this could be true just not in your own back yard.

39. The people at Business Insurance would like to apologize for flunking in geography.

It's even worse they thought these cities were in places that just seem so wrong. Seriously, why the hell would anyone think that Cardiff is in Vietnam?

It’s even worse they thought these cities were in places that just seem so wrong. Seriously, why the hell would anyone think that Cardiff is in Vietnam?

40. We’re afraid those were khaki pants, not tacky pants.

Kind of sad the guy didn't wear tacky pants. Would've made him a more interesting guy in my opinion.

Kind of sad the guy didn’t wear tacky pants. Would’ve made him a more interesting guy in my opinion.

41. We regret that all these things about Jimmy Holmes from the Miami Dolphins weren’t actually true.

Still, the fake story by the Miami Herald makes him seem like a far more interesting guy. Not sure if it helps or hurts him.

Still, the fake story by the Miami Herald makes him seem like a far more interesting guy. Not sure if it helps or hurts him.

42. I’m afraid there’s no such job who squeezes toothpaste for the Prince of Wales.

Well, at least Prince Charles can squeeze his own toothpaste tube when he brushes his teeth. But it's still pretty funny.

Well, at least Prince Charles can squeeze his own toothpaste tube when he brushes his teeth. But it’s still pretty funny.

43. Seems like the Trenton Times can’t tell the difference between a lab and a men’s bathroom.

Now how can anyone make a mistake like this is hard to explain. Seriously, a laboratory and a lavatory may sound similar but they're completely different things.

Now how can anyone make a mistake like this is hard to explain. Seriously, a laboratory and a lavatory may sound similar but they’re completely different things.

44. Relax, Americans, rapper Public Enemy wasn’t mocking 9/11 but 911.

Guess the original article led to considerable public outcry. Because saying 9/11 as a joke could do that.

Guess the original article led to considerable public outcry. Because saying 9/11 as a joke could do that.

45. Apparently, sports reporters don’t seem to know much about Middle Earth and the Lord of the Rings.

What makes me scratch my head is how many Tolkein fans care about baseball to notice. Yes, guaranteed to piss off a nerd.

What makes me scratch my head is how many Tolkein fans care about baseball to notice. Yes, guaranteed to piss off a nerd.

46. We apologize to any aliens for linking them to Scientology.

Well, aliens could be living among us. And many of them could be offended by being linked to Scientology. You never know.

Well, aliens could be living among us. And many of them could be offended by being linked to Scientology. You never know.

47. We regret that we mistook a public official for an interior designer.

Man, you have to feel for this guy. I'm afraid being a public official in the State Department doesn't have decorating rooms in its job description.

Man, you have to feel for this guy. I’m afraid being a public official in the State Department doesn’t have decorating rooms in its job description.

48. We’re sorry that our newspaper was misspelled on the front page.

So how the hell does this even happen? Seriously, it appears on the headlines every damn day!

So how the hell does this even happen? Seriously, it appears on the headlines every damn day!

49. Apparently, political correctness has been known to confuse some people.

Even worse is that Massachusetts is misspelled here. But yeah, "back in the black" is a figure of speech and doesn't refer to African Americans.

Even worse is that Massachusetts is misspelled here. But yeah, “back in the black” is a figure of speech and doesn’t refer to African Americans.

50. As we see here, sometimes a typo can make a world of difference.

Yet, the typo described in this one is very unfortunate that it's almost Anti-Semitic. However, this term wouldn't be erroneous on Breitbart.

Yet, the typo described in this one is very unfortunate that it’s almost Anti-Semitic. However, this term wouldn’t be erroneous on Breitbart.

51. Some newspaper errors can be easier to explain than others.

You have to scratch your head and wonder how the hell did anyone think Buffy the Vampire Slayer headed a European Commission. It defies all possible imagination.

You have to scratch your head and wonder how the hell did anyone think Buffy the Vampire Slayer headed a European Commission. It defies all possible imagination.

52. When it comes to translations, make sure the reporter knows the language.

Clearly, someone really messed up on their Spanish here. Because that translation was totally wrong.

Clearly, someone really messed up on their Spanish here. Because that translation was totally wrong.

53. So that bit about the drag queen appearing at a church with a dildo didn’t happen right?

That's pretty embarrassing. Also, funny how the drag queen performer in question doesn't even use a dildo.

That’s pretty embarrassing. Also, funny how the drag queen performer in question doesn’t even use a dildo.

54. When writing out recipes, be sure to be specific on the ingredients.

Those think the salsa seemed a bit grainy lately now have an explanation. Yeah, cement shouldn't be used in any recipe.

Those think the salsa seemed a bit grainy lately now have an explanation. Yeah, cement shouldn’t be used in any recipe.

55. Sometimes the wording can give a complete different meaning than intended.

Well, they could've said all that in the original statement. Because it seems like he did something for women other than shopping.

Well, they could’ve said all that in the original statement. Because it seems like he did something for women other than shopping.

56. Apparently, the second hand stores and charities weren’t pleased.

Well, what do you expect when an article includes "old urine smell?" People are going to be mad about that.

Well, what do you expect when an article includes “old urine smell?” People are going to be mad about that.

57. We inform you that the Daily Planet supplement was an advertisement for the new Superman movie.

So this newspaper convinced people that there were actual Superman sightings. Makes me wonder how some people could believe stuff like that.

So this newspaper convinced people that there were actual Superman sightings. Makes me wonder how some people could believe stuff like that.

58. No, Ellen DeGeneres didn’t take a photo with that Bradley.

I wonder how someone could make a mistake like this since everyone should know who Bradley Cooper is by 2014. Not so much in the Guardian.

I wonder how someone could make a mistake like this since everyone should know who Bradley Cooper is by 2014. Not so much in the Guardian.

59. You know the guy who won the lottery? Well, he didn’t and he’s not that guy.

You have to wonder how newspapers could contain stories that are so wildly inaccurate. It's pretty amazing if you think about it.

You have to wonder how newspapers could contain stories that are so wildly inaccurate. It’s pretty amazing if you think about it.

60. Sorry, but his band mate was on drums, not drugs. We regret the error.

Wonder what kind of reputation this guy got who was said to be on drugs. That must be embarrassing.

Wonder what kind of reputation this guy got who was said to be on drugs. That must be embarrassing.

61. So how does the correct My Little Pony identification have anything to do with relationships on the autism spectrum?

Apparently, a My Little Pony fan got upset enough to complain about it. Why? I have no idea.

Apparently, a My Little Pony fan got upset enough to complain about it. Why? I have no idea.

62. It’s important for police to know the difference between babies and jumbo size Mexican food.

You have to wonder how someone could be this dumb to report a baby in a trash can that was really a burrito. It's just seems really crazy to me.

You have to wonder how someone could be this dumb to report a baby in a trash can that was really a burrito. It’s just seems really crazy to me.

63. We should inform you that Grandma’s Toy Box is a toy store not a male escort service.

Love how they said, "Sorry for any disappointment." Never underestimate how typos can really screw things up.

Love how they said, “Sorry for any disappointment.” Never underestimate how typos can really screw things up.

64. Those who misidentify Star Trek aliens would live to regret it.

Now misidentifying a Romulan as a Vulcan makes sense since they look very similar. But a Romulan as a Klingon, what the hell?

Now misidentifying a Romulan as a Vulcan makes sense since they look very similar. But a Romulan as a Klingon, what the hell?

65. We’re sorry that we mistook a homicide for stolen groceries.

How a newspaper can screw up so bad like this, I have no idea. Mistaking a homicide for stolen groceries seems more believable since the former is more serious.

How a newspaper can screw up so bad like this, I have no idea. Mistaking a homicide for stolen groceries seems more believable since the former is more serious.

66. Sorry about using a pigsty as a photo for a black neighborhood.

Guess Nova Scotia's black residents won't be happy about this. And you thought racism was an American thing.

Guess Nova Scotia’s black residents won’t be happy about this. And you thought racism was an American thing.

67. We’re afraid the NYPD steroid investigations were greatly exaggerated.

Who knew that steroid problems were just confined to sports. So 9 NYPD officers are under suspicion for this.

Who knew that steroid problems were just confined to sports. So 9 NYPD officers are under suspicion for this,

68. Seems like they forgot to add a few more zeroes when it came to the oil barrels.

Yeah, less than 250,000 barrels a day seems more like it than less than 250 a day. No wonder Libya is so messed up.

Yeah, less than 250,000 barrels a day seems more like it than less than 250 a day. No wonder Libya is so messed up.

69. Apparently, our reporters don’t understand basic astronomy.

I mean everyone should know that the Earth revolves around the sun and the moon revolves around the Earth. That should be common knowledge to everyone.

I mean everyone should know that the Earth revolves around the sun and the moon revolves around the Earth. That should be common knowledge to everyone.

70. Unfortunately, we weren’t very specific with our surveys that we resulted in some Islamophobia.

So this publication basically said that 1 in 5 British Muslims sympathizing with ISIS in a previous article. Now that's very offensive on multiple levels. Talk about perpetuating hate.

So this publication basically said that 1 in 5 British Muslims sympathizing with ISIS in a previous article. Now that’s very offensive on multiple levels. Talk about perpetuating hate.

71. Seems like the LA Times thinks Green Bay, Wisconsin is a seaside town.

It's "De Pere" not "the pier." Then again, French is a confusing language.

It’s “De Pere” not “the pier.” Then again, French is a confusing language.

72. Sometimes people can confuse between Shaquille O’Neal and Aristotle.

Why such mistakes are made, I have no idea. But let's just say, Aristotle would have no idea about basketball since he's from Ancient Greece.

Why such mistakes are made, I have no idea. But let’s just say, Aristotle would have no idea about basketball since he’s from Ancient Greece.

73. No, Rowan Atkinson was not the Archbishop of Canterbury at the time. That’s a different Rowan.

To be fair, Rowan Atkinson was Archbishop of Canterbury on an episode of Blackadder. Or rather his character Prince Edmund was.

To be fair, Rowan Atkinson was Archbishop of Canterbury on an episode of Blackadder. Or rather his character Prince Edmund was.

74. Sorry for making an Australian soldier sound like a psycho.

Once again, punctuation matters here. Yet, not sure why they had to go on with long explanation.

Once again, punctuation matters here. Yet, not sure why they had to go on with long explanation.

75. We regret to inform that one of those Tiger Beat covers was actually from The Onion.

Again, I'm not sure how this mistake is ever possible. Tiger Beat is a teen magazine while the Onion is a parody news magazine.

Again, I’m not sure how this mistake is ever possible. Tiger Beat is a teen magazine while the Onion is a parody news magazine.

76. We regret to inform how we made one of our authors look like a middle aged perv with masculinity issues.

It's even worse when you realize that the author they're describing is Asian. And that his book is his sexual struggles as an Asian man which wasn't helped at all by pervasive stereotypes in the US.

It’s even worse when you realize that the author they’re describing is Asian. And that his book is his sexual struggles as an Asian man which wasn’t helped at all by pervasive stereotypes in the US.

77. Our apologies to Dr. Robert Goddard on his scientific claims we thought were off the wall.

Goddard is well known for his pioneering in rocketry and his findings about rockets existing in a vacuum is correct. And he wasn't the first guy to come up with it either.

Goddard is well known for his pioneering in rocketry and his findings about rockets existing in a vacuum is correct. And he wasn’t the first guy to come up with it either.

78. The Washington Post would like to apologize calling a Gitmo captain fat.

As if his figure has anything to do with the article about Gitmo detainees. Seriously, why?

As if his figure has anything to do with the article about Gitmo detainees. Seriously, why?

79. We’re afraid that we’ve gotten our Hemingway plots mixed up.

A Farewell to Arms and For Whom the Bell Tolls are both very different stories. One takes place in WWI while the other during the Spanish American War.

A Farewell to Arms and For Whom the Bell Tolls are both very different stories. One takes place in WWI while the other during the Spanish American War.

80. We’re sorry for all the errors we made in that Gore Vidal obituary.

I'm not familiar with who Gore Vidal was but these people seem to get a lot wrong about him. To be honest, I don't blame the writers for screwing up here.

I’m not familiar with who Gore Vidal was but these people seem to get a lot wrong about him. To be honest, I don’t blame the writers for screwing up here.

Calaca Inspired Dia de los Muertos Costumes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Disclaimer: I am aware that the Dia de los Muertos is not just a holiday just confined to Mexico or celebrated by Latinos who aren’t just of Mexican heritage. But I have to remind viewers that this isn’t a post to give you ideas to do a Halloween costume (unless Dia de los Muertos is part of your culture and you want to save money). Dia de los Muertos is not Mexican Halloween and unless your culture celebrates the holiday, then you shouldn’t wear these costumes whether on Halloween or on any occasion. Dia de los Muertos is a time for Mexicans and people from some parts of Latin America to remember their ancestors. I understand that cultural appropriation is an American tradition and not a very good one. If your culture doesn’t celebrate Dia de los Muertos, then walking around in a Day of the Dead inspired costume for Halloween because you thought the art was cute is offensive, ignorant, disrespectful, and complicit in erasing a rich culture and identity. Painting your face with sugar skull decoration is not being cultural, it’s stupid. There’s a meaning behind sugar skulls and just because you do it doesn’t mean you understand the significance of this symbol. So please, don’t do it.

Special Disclaimer: I understand that some of these costumes may be culturally appropriated which is offensive. But since Pinterest unintentionally encourages this and I know they tend to be promoted as Halloween costumes, cultural appropriation might not be avoidable. Yet since I’m aware that blond and redheaded Hispanics do exist and that they can be of any race, distinguishing between which costumes are culturally appropriate and which are not is difficult. And you can’t always tell with a photograph. Yet, I will try my best not to be disrespectful to viewers who celebrate this holiday that they view so central to their cultural identity. And I intend not to promote them as Halloween costumes for this post. Nor do I encourage people do dress in these costumes despite having no connection to the holiday whatsoever. Just because I may show a costume post on Dia de los Muertos doesn’t mean I think these are perfectly fine for just anyone.

Aside from setting altars and visit cemeteries to honor and celebrate their dead ancestors and loved ones, it’s not unusual for those who observe Dia de los Muertos also don costumes as well as parade and dance in the streets. Yet, this tradition may not always be practiced in some places in Mexico or Latin America. But there are some areas that do. Many tend to don the calavera makeup and dress in fancy clothes in order to mock death or celebrate their deceased loved ones. For most Mexicans and other Latin Americans who celebrate the holiday, there is nothing scary about dressing up as the elegant “La Catrina” and other figures of death the holiday celebrates. Some may even wear skull shaped masks to scare the dead away. After all, death in Mexico is just part of the natural cycle of life, not something to be feared. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of richly elaborate Dia de los Muertos costumes for you to enjoy. And if your culture doesn’t celebrate the Day of the Dead, these are just for your eyes only.

  1. The makeup scheme must always match the flowers.
Well, she has a pink skull face with beautiful flowers in her hair. The clothes aren't too shabby either.

Well, she has a pink skull face with beautiful flowers in her hair. The clothes aren’t too shabby either.

2. This woman honors her dead great-grandmother by wearing her clothes.

Yes, I know she looks what you might see in a horror movie. But she's not meant to be scary. Just honoring her deceased loved ones.

Yes, I know she looks what you might see in a horror movie. But she’s not meant to be scary. Just honoring her deceased loved ones.

3. Thought you’d never see a dead lady in red before.

If it wasn't for the face paint, I would've sworn she seemed like one of those Mexican women from the Old West movies. Love the dress.

If it wasn’t for the face paint, I would’ve sworn she seemed like one of those Mexican women from the Old West movies. Love the dress.

4. These men celebrate Dia de los Muertos in their fancy hats.

Now this is a great way to mock death along with the Mexican elite who used to starve 90% of the country's population in the early 20th century. The hats and suits are spot on.

Now this is a great way to mock death along with the Mexican elite who used to starve 90% of the country’s population in the early 20th century. The hats and suits are spot on. Then again, maybe that’s another case of cultural appropriation on multiple levels.

5. Don’t forget to don the skulls and feathers.

You might see that a lot of Dia de los Muertos costumes do contain feathers and skulls on them. Then again, it's to be expected.

You might see that a lot of Dia de los Muertos costumes do contain feathers and skulls on them. Then again, it’s to be expected.

6. Sometimes a small touch up is all you need.

Seems like she has a pink shawl to match the flowers. Surely looks stunning.

Seems like she has a pink shawl to match the flowers. Surely looks stunning.

7. This skull face woman is draped with curls.

She's even wearing a white embroidered dress. Love the intricate makeup job.

She’s even wearing a white embroidered dress. Love the intricate makeup job.

8. To look at her is to see a window into your own mortality.

I understand that skeletons aren't supposed to be scary on Dia de los Muertos. But this costume is so good that it doesn't help matters.

I understand that skeletons aren’t supposed to be scary on Dia de los Muertos. But this costume is so good that it doesn’t help matters.

9. White hair is always chic on a dead woman.

I'm sure the white hair is a wig in this. But kind of reminds us that you grow old and then you die.

I’m sure the white hair is a wig in this. But kind of reminds us that you grow old and then you die.

10. A spiderweb on your forehead goes great with flowers.

Notice how she has dark circles under her eyes. Oh, wait, that's makeup, not sleep deprivation.

Notice how she has dark circles under her eyes. Oh, wait, that’s makeup, not sleep deprivation.

11. No Day of the Dead costume could be complete without an embroidered flower skirt.

Well, if it's DIY, then she must've spent a long time doing this costume. Love the rich flowery detail.

Well, if it’s DIY, then she must’ve spent a long time doing this costume. Love the rich flowery detail.

12. Hoop earrings and roses create a neat traditional look.

This woman has roses in her hair as well as an intricate skull makeup scheme. Absolutely stunning.

This woman has roses in her hair as well as an intricate skull makeup scheme. Absolutely stunning.

13. Sometimes it’s best to stick with the basics.

Well, she didn't really do too much as far as makeup goes. Yet, the lipstick provides a nice contrast.

Well, she didn’t really do too much as far as makeup goes. Yet, the lipstick provides a nice contrast.

14. It helps if you top off your look with a colorful sombrero.

Like how she used shiny face paint for her mask as we.. Love the rose design.

Like how she used shiny face paint for her mask as we.. Love the rose design.

15. On Dia de los Muertos, a bride always has her diamond rosary.

Well, she has a nice white dress with her skull makeup as well as matching flowers in her hair. Love it.

Well, she has a nice white dress with her skull makeup as well as matching flowers in her hair. Love it.

16. Dia de los Muertos is a holiday that’s been celebrated for generations.

Here we have 3 generations of a family in their skull face makeup and flowers. Two of them carry parasols in hand.

Here we have 3 generations of a family in their skull face makeup and flowers. Two of them carry parasols in hand.

17. This dead looking girl is all dressed up with no place to go.

She's also wearing a black lace veil with a white lace dress. Nevertheless, really like the flowers.

She’s also wearing a black lace veil with a white lace dress. Nevertheless, really like the flowers.

18. This man seems to have the look of death upon him.

You can even see all his teeth. Yet, this guy seems to have a rather scary touch up.

You can even see all his teeth. Yet, this guy seems to have a rather scary touch up.

19. This little girl dances in her flowery dress.

Helps she's wearing a ribbon to match her dress. Love the flowers on it, too.

Helps she’s wearing a ribbon to match her dress. Love the flowers on it, too.

20. Sometimes death can bring a dour look upon you.

Well, she has a rather rich costume with fancy black lace and all. The rose on her face seems like it's losing petals though.

Well, she has a rather rich costume with fancy black lace and all. The rose on her face seems like it’s losing petals though.

21. Perhaps a red veil can go best with the flowers.

Helps she has a string of pearls to complete the outfit. Love the makeup, too.

Helps she has a string of pearls to complete the outfit. Love the makeup, too.

22. Even a skeleton needs a fine pair of gloves at times.

Well, I said they dress up to mock death and the old Mexican elite. Love the flowery black veil.

Well, I said they dress up to mock death and the old Mexican elite. Love the flowery black veil.

23. Don’t forget to set up an altar for your loved ones on the Day of the Dead.

Well, at least there's not a lot of cultural appropriation going on here. At least the picture gets the tradition right and has some inscriptions in Spanish.

Well, at least there’s not a lot of cultural appropriation going on here. At least the picture gets the tradition right and has some inscriptions in Spanish.

24. You may see some revelers in Mexico during the Day of the Dead.

Here we have a La Catrina and a mariachi. Both seem a bit dead on the outside but are actually quite lively.

Here we have a La Catrina and a mariachi. Both seem a bit dead on the outside but are actually quite lively.

25. Skeleton makeup isn’t always confined to the face.

She even has a cross on her skull makeup. Love the roses in her hair.

She even has a cross on her skull makeup. Love the roses in her hair.

26. This little senorita is all dressed to kill.

She even has a cute little fur stole and necklaces. I think this is so adorable.

She even has a cute little fur stole and necklaces. I think this is so adorable.

27. Sometimes the skull eyes could be lined with jewels.

Of course, I'm not sure her skin is that white, given how they add photo effects. But this is stunning.

Of course, I’m not sure her skin is that white, given how they add photo effects. But this is stunning.

28. Man, does she really have her heart on display.

Funny how it's not encased in her skeleton which is normally the case. Love the flowers though.

Funny how it’s not encased in her skeleton which is normally the case. Love the flowers though.

29. This man celebrates Dia de los Muertos like he’s on of the Three Amigos.

I'm sure this guy is white and is wearing the makeup. But even I have to admire the intricate costume details.

I’m sure this guy is white and is wearing the makeup. But even I have to admire the intricate costume details.

30. This couple are dressed like they’re together in death.

Well, they're surely dressed nice. And I do like the flowers. But I sure hope they're not wearing these outfits for a Halloween party.

Well, they’re surely dressed nice. And I do like the flowers. But I sure hope they’re not wearing these outfits for a Halloween party.

31. This woman’s Dia de los Muertos costume is truly revolutionary.

Since she's dressed up as a Mexican revolutionary that got fed up with the elite back in the early 20th century. Hope those bullets aren't real.

Since she’s dressed up as a Mexican revolutionary that got fed up with the elite back in the early 20th century. Hope those bullets aren’t real.

32. Sometimes a simple white veil is all you need.

Well, she does have an intricate makeup scheme on her face despite how it makes her look like the Joker. Okay, that might be pretty insulting. Sorry about that.

Well, she does have an intricate makeup scheme on her face despite how it makes her look like the Joker. Okay, that might be pretty insulting. Sorry about that.

33. It helps if you top your costume with a fancy hat.

It's especially true if the hat has marigolds in it since they're a critical flower for Day of the Dead. Also, calla lilies also symbolize death.

It’s especially true if the hat has marigolds in it since they’re a critical flower for Day of the Dead. Also, calla lilies also symbolize death.

34. Flowers can go almost anywhere on your costume.

She seems to have roses around her dress and in her hair. By the way, this was taken by a Hispanic photographer.

She seems to have roses around her dress and in her hair. By the way, this was taken by a Hispanic photographer.

35. Who said a La Catrina can’t have purple hair?

Well, she does have a Joker like face makeup. But you have to love the flowers and the large rings.

Well, she does have a Joker like face makeup. But you have to love the flowers and the large rings.

36. At Dia de los Muertos weddings, it’s till death do they part.

Too bad they only had the bride, groom, and a bridesmaid in this photo. Would've loved to see the rest of the party.

Too bad they only had the bride, groom, and a bridesmaid in this photo. Would’ve loved to see the rest of the party.

37. Sometimes a plain, simple dress will always do fine.

This woman just wears a traditional Mexican outfit. Just a white top and green skirt.

This woman just wears a traditional Mexican outfit. Just a white top and green skirt.

38. Always have a skull mask and rose bouquet in hand.

She certainly has her outfit match her face and hair. Love the flowers.

She certainly has her outfit match her face and hair. Love the flowers.

39. Sometimes a dress in bright colors is all you need.

Yes, you might think she looks like Frida Kahlo from the costume. But that doesn't mean she's supposed to be dressed as her.

Yes, you might think she looks like Frida Kahlo from the costume. But that doesn’t mean she’s supposed to be dressed as her.

40. May you allow this gentleman to tip his hat?

At least this guy chose to wear a mask. At any rate, I do like his hat with a skull decoration.

At least this guy chose to wear a mask. At any rate, I do like his hat with a skull decoration.

41. “Well, that certainly didn’t seem dead funny to me.”

She has a nice made up face with blue around the eyes and a spiderweb. Love the rose in her hair.

She has a nice made up face with blue around the eyes and a spiderweb. Love the roses in her hair.

42. The skull face can occasionally really show up in the dark.

This one has black skull eyes and roses in her hair. But you can see her almost blend into the background.

This one has black skull eyes and roses in her hair. But you can see her almost blend into the background.

43. Here comes a skeleton bride with her veil over a crown of thorns.

Well, I have to admit how stunning this in in black and white. Love the keyhole heart on her chest as well.

Well, I have to admit how stunning this in in black and white. Love the keyhole heart on her chest as well.

44. This woman stands proud in her skull makeup and flowers.

The flowers in her hair seem to match the makeup on her face. Though her lips are in a zipper fashion.

The flowers in her hair seem to match the makeup on her face. Though her lips are in a zipper fashion.

45. This skeletal woman has absolutely nothing to hide.

Well, she's dressed in a skeletal outfit. But she has the skull face, flowers, and veil for Dia de los Muertos.

Well, she’s dressed in a skeletal outfit. But she has the skull face, flowers, and veil for Dia de los Muertos.

46. Couples always dress their finest in their skull and flower finery.

Well, I think this might be from a Dia de los Muertos in California. Yet, both wear the same kinds of flowers and other decoration.

Well, I think this might be from a Dia de los Muertos in California. Yet, both wear the same kinds of flowers and other decoration.

47. This photo surely shows that love is stronger than death.

While he has a tux, she has a rose bouquet and a longhorn necklace. Any guess they might be from the Southwest?

While he has a tux, she has a rose bouquet and a longhorn necklace. Any guess they might be from the Southwest?

48. She knows where it’s at with red and black.

She even has the bony fingers to show it. Yet, she wears roses to go with her red corset.

She even has the bony fingers to show it. Yet, she wears roses to go with her red corset.

49. Sometimes it helps if you have a showy flower headdress.

It also helps if you wear a dress of black lace since it gives a distinctive look. Still, she does seem stunning.

It also helps if you wear a dress of black lace since it gives a distinctive look. Still, she does seem stunning.

50. It’s not just hombres who don the sombreros.

This woman wears a sombrero that matches her outfit and makeup. And she has it buttoned to show some of her ribs.

This woman wears a sombrero that matches her outfit and makeup. And she has it buttoned to show some of her ribs.

51. With light colors come light flowers.

Though she wears a dress without sleeves, she seems to have a poofier skirt. Yet, the flowers match perfectly.

Though she wears a dress without sleeves, she seems to have a poofier skirt. Yet, the flowers match perfectly.

52. This little girl is dressed like she just woke from her grave.

For the record, there are Dia de los Muertos celebrations devoted to children and adult souls on separate days. Still love the flowers and lace.

For the record, there are Dia de los Muertos celebrations devoted to children and adult souls on separate days. Still love the flowers and lace.

53. This little girl comes all dressed in black.

She even has a bouquet of black flowers in her hands. Yet, the flowers she wears on her head are colorful.

She even has a bouquet of black flowers in her hands. Yet, the flowers she wears on her head are colorful.

54. Hope her sombrero isn’t too wide for your taste.

Well, it's a nice touch to her costume. Let's hope she's not wearing it for a Halloween party. Because that would be bad.

Well, it’s a nice touch to her costume. Let’s hope she’s not wearing it for a Halloween party. Because that would be bad.

55. If looks could kill, then this man has racked a high body count.

Yes, he surely seems like a debonair skeleton who might actually be a supervillan. Yet, I can't really tell from here.

Yes, he surely seems like a debonair skeleton who might actually be a supervillan. Yet, I can’t really tell from here.

56. When in doubt, you might want to decorate your face with sequins.

Well, that's a little flashy for my taste. Not sure what I think about that. Might be from a Dia de los Muertos in Vegas.

Well, that’s a little flashy for my taste. Not sure what I think about that. Might be from a Dia de los Muertos in Vegas.

57. Sometimes a mujer has to have dress to show off her top vertabrae.

This one at least has a marigold print trim on black. She even has a necklace to resemble marigolds.

This one at least has a marigold print trim on black. She even has a necklace to resemble marigolds.

58. Dia de los Muertos is a time to visit the dead where they lay.

Well, at least she's in a cemetery, perhaps to honor her dead relatives. Yet, I do like her multicolored serape.

Well, at least she’s in a cemetery, perhaps to honor her dead relatives. Yet, I do like her multicolored serape.

59. Here comes a skeletal bride with a large skirt.

She even has a white parasol to go with it. Might want to clear a path for her.

She even has a white parasol to go with it. Might want to clear a path for her.

60. Let’s hope the love never dies for these two.

This bride is surprisingly tame compared to the previous one. But she's still dressed in white lace.

This bride is surprisingly tame compared to the previous one. But she’s still dressed in white lace.

61. Best to have flowers in your hair of all different colors.

And she's sure lined her face wit quite a few of them. Still, I really like this one.

And she’s sure lined her face wit quite a few of them. Still, I really like this one.

62. On Dia de los Muertos, the dead come up to party.

Don't look now. But the guy almost seems to be close to a "stinkin' badges" stereotype. Well, as far as I'm concerned.

Don’t look now. But the guy almost seems to be close to a “stinkin’ badges” stereotype. Well, as far as I’m concerned.

63. This la Catrina is expecting you.

This is fairly close to a traditional Catrina which was a figure of Mexican satire on the upper class. And yes, she dressed like the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey.

This is fairly close to a traditional Catrina which was a figure of Mexican satire on the upper class. And yes, she dressed like the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey.

64. This man seems to have his heart turned to stone.

So does this mean he's not a guy you should associate with? Because his expression doesn't reveal that he's that kind of guy at all.

So does this mean he’s not a guy you should associate with? Because his expression doesn’t reveal that he’s that kind of guy at all.

65. Hey, look, a little mariachi boy.

He even has his own little guitar as a prop. So adorable.

He even has his own little guitar as a prop. So adorable.

66. This woman in black now takes the mic.

This one has a black dress with a rose in her hair. The mic is just a vintage touch akin to Walk the Line.

This one has a black dress with a rose in her hair. The mic is just a vintage touch akin to Walk the Line.

67. What’s bright about her costume are the marigolds in her hair.

Seems like she's wearing a shawl over her head. By the Mexican marigold was used as a medicinal plant and incense by the Aztecs.

Seems like she’s wearing a shawl over her head. By the Mexican marigold was used as a medicinal plant and incense by the Aztecs.

68. With your Day of the Dead costume, use all the flowers you want.

This woman has hers on her hair, neck, and dress. And she's all dressed in leather.

This woman has hers on her hair, neck, and dress. And she’s all dressed in leather.

69. This couple seems all flowered up.

Guy seems dressed with a powder blue tuxedo top and a string of flowers across. Woman only took to black and roses.

Guy seems dressed with a powder blue tuxedo top and a string of flowers across. Woman only took to black and roses.

70. As far a I can tell, she has the look of a goddess.

Well, an Aztec goddess if you get my drift. Of course, some might find worth sacrificing for.

Well, an Aztec goddess if you get my drift. Of course, some might find worth sacrificing for.

71. Someone seems unusually pale these days.

Yet, she decked with so many beautiful flowers that add color to her outfit. Quite stunning if you ask me.

Yet, she decked with so many beautiful flowers that add color to her outfit. Quite stunning if you ask me.

72. A lady must always have a taste in elegance.

My, does she have a huge hat. But at least it can give her plenty of shade.

My, does she have a huge hat. But at least it can give her plenty of shade.

73. This Catrina has so many flowers in all her finery.

She has flowers all over her outfit as well as inside her large black hat. And she even fans herself, too.

She has flowers all over her outfit as well as inside her large black hat. And she even fans herself, too.

74. This La Catrina has just woke up from the wrong side of the grave.

I have to admit, I really like that purple dress. Also, how this actually resembles a skeleton.

I have to admit, I really like that purple dress. Also, how this actually resembles a skeleton.

75. Anyone can look stunning in a lighter shade of red.

Sure she may wear a corset with flowers. But you have to concede that she does strike a pose.

Sure she may wear a corset with flowers. But you have to concede that she does strike a pose.

76. Of course, you could always wear a mask.

She's even dressed in traditional Victorian attire, too. Love the purple on this.

She’s even dressed in traditional Victorian attire, too. Love the purple on this.

77. My, does she have flowery eyes.

Well, her eyes are laced with gold petals. Yet, she has red flowers in her hair and an embroidered dress.

Well, her eyes are laced with gold petals. Yet, she has red flowers in her hair and an embroidered dress.

78. This little girl only has two roses in hand.

Yet, she wears some in her head to brighten up her black outfit. So adorable.

Yet, she wears some in her head to brighten up her black outfit. So adorable.

79. Seems she’s a little red around the eyes.

However, that's just the magic of makeup. Yet, I do love the roses in her hair.

However, that’s just the magic of makeup. Yet, I do love the roses in her hair.

80. Sometimes death can come out behind you when you’re not looking.

She's even wearing a colorful shirt to go with the flowers on her hair. Love the eye makeup on this.

She’s even wearing a colorful shirt to go with the flowers on her hair. Love the eye makeup on this.

81. How about 3 red roses in your hair?

Man, she seems to have a lot of paint on her and not just her face. Love the roses.

Man, she seems to have a lot of paint on her and not just her face. Love the roses.

82. My, what a lovely hat she wore.

Well, it's not a large hat but it's a fancy one nonetheless. Goes nice with her black lace dress.

Well, it’s not a large hat but it’s a fancy one nonetheless. Goes nice with her black lace dress.

83. Of course, she only shows some of her ribs.

Well, she's painted ribs on her chest. Still, like the lace jacket and flowers.

Well, she’s painted ribs on her chest. Still, like the lace jacket and flowers.

84. How about a sombrero lined with gold?

Wonder if she's worried that she'll mess her hair if she dons the sombrero. Yet, I do think it's finely embroidered.

Wonder if she’s worried that she’ll mess her hair if she dons the sombrero. Yet, I do think it’s finely embroidered.

85. Not sure about her, but she seems a bit bony if you ask me.

Well, she has a lot of skeleton makeup on her. Yet she has a black dress on to, if you look closer.

Well, she has a lot of skeleton makeup on her. Yet she has a black dress on to, if you look closer.

86. Seems like she’s had to tie up to hold herself together.

She seems to have to keep her organs contained for the moment. Yet, you have to admire her red dress.

She seems to have to keep her organs contained for the moment. Yet, you have to admire her red dress.

87. Seems like someone likes to wear the flag of Mexico.

Well, the woman at least does as well as dons a turquoise shawl. The man dresses like one of the Three Amigos.

Well, the woman at least does as well as dons a turquoise shawl. The man dresses like one of the Three Amigos.

88. I suppose she might impress the proper set.

Reminds me of a Dia de los Muertos character Tim Burton would create. This especially since I think Helen Bonham Carter wore a similar outfit in Sweeny Todd.

Reminds me of a Dia de los Muertos character Tim Burton would create. This especially since I think Helen Bonham Carter wore a similar outfit in Sweeny Todd.

89. A rose headdress surely makes an impression.

Well, the roses are certainly stunning. But the make up seems somewhat terrifying.

Well, the roses are certainly stunning. But the make up seems somewhat terrifying.

90. How about roses on your hat?

Well, she doesn't dress too badly here. Still, I think the hat goes well with her Victorian dress.

Well, she doesn’t dress too badly here. Still, I think the hat goes well with her Victorian dress.

91. Unfortunately, these well dressed women seem to be all bone.

Though the two of them seem quite lively with each other. Love their hats.

Though the two of them seem quite lively with each other. Love their hats.

92. My, she has a very colorful Chiapas dress.

Well, it's in white unlike some of the others I featured. But the embroidery really stands out.

Well, it’s in white unlike some of the others I featured. But the embroidery really stands out.

93. When you’re in a big dress, you’ll need a big flower.

She even has a big parasol with her, too. Still, the rose really catches your eye.

She even has a big parasol with her, too. Still, the rose really catches your eye.

94. Perhaps you can go to a lighter shade of blue on some occasions.

Well, these women have made up their faces to match their outfits. At least to some extent, especially the one in the middle.

Well, these women have made up their faces to match their outfits. At least to some extent, especially the one in the middle.

95. Hope she’s not laced too tightly in that corset.

Well, she seems covered in flowers and has her hair all nice. But sexy Halloween costume, it is definitely not.

Well, she seems covered in flowers and has her hair all nice. But sexy Halloween costume, it is definitely not.

96. Sometimes you’ll just need a bowtie to snazz it up.

Seems to look more like a little Jack Skellington with hair and brighter clothes. Still, this is cute.

Seems to look more like a little Jack Skellington with hair and brighter clothes. Still, this is cute.

97. Who says you can’t have Lego people join in the celebration?

Well, Lego people must exist in Mexico. Seriously, they just got to.

Well, Lego people must exist in Mexico. Seriously, they just got to.

98. This man always dresses to kill for the Dia de los Muertos procession.

Yes, he stands proud in his Mexican outfit that probably serves no practical use to him besides special occasions. Love the black.

Yes, he stands proud in his Mexican outfit that probably serves no practical use to him besides special occasions. Love the black.

99. Make sure your face paint matches your outfit.

Well, she certainly has the roses and black lace nailed. Love it.

Well, she certainly has the roses and black lace nailed. Love it.

100. Now he’s reduced to a walking, talking skeleton.

Well, at least he's wearing the cape. But it still doesn't protect him from exposing his bones.

Well, at least he’s wearing the cape. But it still doesn’t protect him from exposing his bones.

Calavera Inspired Craft Projects for Dia de los Muertos

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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As you can see, Dia de los Muertos is a huge holiday in Mexico and it should surprise nobody that you’ll find plenty of Day of the Dead decorations through Pinterest and Google Search. Contrary to popular notions, Dia de los Muertos is not Mexico’s Halloween though both holidays do have similar traditions like dressing in costumes, partying, skull decorations, and trick or treating in some regions. Of course, traditions can vary from town to town. Though I have seen it presented this way. Seriously, it’s not. Nevertheless, since Mexicans are among the largest US ethnic groups as well as among the fastest growing that some horrible orange man with straw hair wants to build a wall on the US-Mexican border. So I advise everyone not to vote this fucktard for president and stick with Hillary Clinton regardless of how you feel about her e-mails. Moving on, it’s not uncommon for many Dia de los Muertos decorations to contain skulls otherwise known as calaveras. You know the decorated sugar skulls. They also have bright flowers and other Mexican motifs. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Day of the Dead craft projects.

  1. Sit back and relax on this Mexican chair.
I don't think this could be done from scratch. But I do admire fine embroidery craftsmanship when I see it. Lovely.

I don’t think this could be done from scratch. But I do admire fine embroidery craftsmanship when I see it. Lovely.

2. There’s nothing more fitting than a plush skull with spiderwebs in its hair.

Even has dangling bones for earrings. And the spiderwebs are all different colors.

Even has dangling bones for earrings. And the spiderwebs are all different colors.

3. This rose headband would look great on any costumed Catrina.

Yes, people dress in costumes during this holiday. But I think this flower headband is pretty.

Yes, people dress in costumes during this holiday. But I think this flower headband is pretty.

4. Keep warm this Dia de los Muertos with this colorful quilt.

And yes, it has plenty of skulls on it for your heart's heart content. In triangle and square pattern.

And yes, it has plenty of skulls on it for your heart’s heart content. In triangle and square pattern.

5. No Day of the Dead could be without this crocheted Frida Kahlo doll.

Well, that's a dead Frida amigurumi doll no doubt. But I think she's supposed to look more decomposed.

Well, that’s a dead Frida amigurumi doll no doubt. But I think she’s supposed to look more decomposed.

6. Grace your mantle with these Day of the Dead nesting dolls.

As you can see, they all have skulls on them. They also have bright colors and symbols.

As you can see, they all have skulls on them. They also have bright colors and symbols.

7. Keep warm in the cold with this crocheted skull cap.

This one has blue flowers on it. Sure it's kind of freaky but it's well suited for Day of the Dead.

This one has blue flowers on it. Sure it’s kind of freaky but it’s well suited for Day of the Dead.

8. For your beautiful houseplants, this Frida Kahlo flower pot is for you.

Notice she's not a skull in this one. Yet, she has part of her face covered in bright flowers.

Notice she’s not a skull in this one. Yet, she has part of her face covered in bright flowers.

9. Make your Dia de los Muertos festive with this deco mesh wreath.

Has a colorful skull in the middle. And yes, the colors seem festive for a time of remembrance. But this is a Mexican holiday.

Has a colorful skull in the middle. And yes, the colors seem festive for a time of remembrance. But this is a Mexican holiday.

10. Check out this sugar skull mosaic.

I'm sure the skulls used in these are fake. But this one contains eyes akin to suns.

I’m sure the skulls used in these are fake. But this one contains eyes akin to suns.

11. This stained glass skull panel is a morbid delight.

Well, it's an elaborate skull to say so myself. Love the eyes and forehead. Yes, I know a lot of these decorations contain skulls. But what do you expect?

Well, it’s an elaborate skull to say so myself. Love the eyes and forehead. Yes, I know a lot of these decorations contain skulls. But what do you expect?

12. A colorful skull mask should always have birds and flowers.

I'm not sure if it's for a costume or for hanging on a wall. Still, like the smile.

I’m not sure if it’s for a costume or for hanging on a wall. Still, like the smile.

13. Nothing makes Dia de los Muertos complete like this skeleton quilt.

Seems like it's a Mexican version of "Dumb Ways to Die." Or as they say. "Formas Estupidas Morir."

Seems like it’s a Mexican version of “Dumb Ways to Die.” Or as they say. “Formas Estupidas Morir.” Well, at least some of the patchwork scenes.

14. This mosaic skull has a butterfly in its eye.

This one is mostly lined with pink. And I think the butterfly brings a sweet touch.

This one is mostly lined with pink. And I think the butterfly brings a sweet touch.

15. Lounge outside in the fall weather with this Dia de los Muertos chair.

This one has two skeletons in love on the back. How sweet like something in a Tim Burton movie.

This one has two skeletons in love on the back. How sweet like something in a Tim Burton movie.

16. If skulls aren’t your thing, try these skeleton nesting dolls.

Well, they're just as morbid as the other set. But they seem to have a lot of colorful decor on them.

Well, they’re just as morbid as the other set. But they seem to be richly painted.

17. Try to go out in this crocheted skull cap.

This one has a rose and eyes lined with blue. Not as fancy as the other one but still just as lovely.

This one has a rose and eyes lined with blue. Not as fancy as the other one but still just as lovely.

18. Cuddle up this Dia de los Muertos with this skull quilt.

It's as colorful a skull quilt as I've seen one. Each skull is uniquely decorated in its own way.

It’s as colorful a skull quilt as I’ve seen one. Each skull is uniquely decorated in its own way.

19. Keep clean this Day of the Dead with some skull soap.

Wonder if they have some skull soap for Halloween. Bet they have but I didn't check.

Wonder if they have some skull soap for Halloween. Bet they have but I didn’t check.

20. Dia de los Muertos is always a time to wear a flowery skull pendant.

This one has a turquoise skull. Yes, I know skull jewelry is a thing according to Etsy.

This one has a turquoise skull. Yes, I know skull jewelry is a thing according to Etsy.

21. Keep your ipad secure from evil spirits with this Day of the Dead case.

This one has a skull and a jewels on the cover. Yes, I know the skull motif is a bit creepy but get used to it.

This one has a skull and a jewels on the cover. Yes, I know the skull motif is a bit creepy but get used to it.

22. Bundle up with your very own Dia de los Muertos crocheted scarf.

Consists of crocheted skulls and roses. I know they usually don't go together, except at grave sites.

Consists of crocheted skulls and roses. I know they usually don’t go together, except at grave sites.

23. Never have I saw as skull like this so richly decorated.

Yeah, you can find some unique designs like this on Pinterest. Love the hat.

Yeah, you can find some unique designs like this on Pinterest. Love the hat.

24. “Angelica, will you marry me?”

"I thought you'd never ask." Keep in mind, this display is from a craft store. So it's all good.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Keep in mind, this display is from a craft store. So it’s all good.

25. A spiderweb should always go well with roses.

This is another headband for a costume with roses, a spiderweb, and black tulle. Still, I think it's stunning.

This is another headband for a costume with roses, a spiderweb, and black tulle. Still, I think it’s stunning.

26. Be hospitable to guests with this sugar skull wreath with roses.

Yes, roses and skulls seem to go together during Dia de los Muertos. This one is a red and white variation.

Yes, roses and skulls seem to go together during Dia de los Muertos. This one is a red and white variation.

27. How about this purple mask and flowers?

Yes, there's a skeleton hand coming out of it. And teeth under the lips. But you have to expect this.

Yes, there’s a skeleton hand coming out of it. And teeth under the lips. But you have to expect this.

28. For the Day of the Dead, these skull crosses seem like holy relics.

Well, not all of these have skulls on it. One has the Virgin Mary and the other has a mermaid. Not sure why for the latter.

Well, not all of these have skulls on it. One has the Virgin Mary and the other has a mermaid. Not sure why for the latter.

29. A blue and black skull can always use some metal inlaids.

Yes, it's another mosaic skull. And yes, you'll see a lot of these. But this one really has a lot going for it.

Yes, it’s another mosaic skull. And yes, you’ll see a lot of these. But this one really has a lot going for it.

30. This skull lamp will surely light up a room.

It even has flowers in the eyes. Of course, it's from a metal shade over a light.

It even has flowers in the eyes. Of course, it’s from a metal shade over a light.

31. This crocheted garland is great over any fireplace.

Sure it contains skulls and flowers. But you can almost hang it anywhere you please. Not sure if you can use it as a scarf.

Sure it contains skulls and flowers. But you can almost hang it anywhere you please. Not sure if you can use it as a scarf.

32. I’m sure any cat lover on Dia de los Muertos would enjoy these statues.

Yes, these are cat statues painted like skeletons. They also have other animals if you're interested.

Yes, these are cat statues painted like skeletons. They also have other animals if you’re interested.

33. The light really comes out from this skull panel.

Sure it doesn't use a lot of colors. But it has a very elaborate design few could master.

Sure it doesn’t use a lot of colors. But it has a very elaborate design few could master.

34. This skull can reflect almost anything.

This mirror tiles were either from a disco ball or a cut up mirror. Still, love the pink flower eyes.

This mirror tiles were either from a disco ball or a cut up mirror. Still, love the pink flower eyes.

35. Of course, white skulls can be pretty, too if you use marble.

Sure this one may have copper teeth. But it has a lovely purple decoration. Love it.

Sure this one may have copper teeth. But it has a lovely purple decoration. Love it.

36. Skulls and flowers always make this ceramic candelabra.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Not sure if they're mass produced or handmade. Either way, goes on my post.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Not sure if they’re mass produced or handmade. Either way, goes on my post.

37. With these skull pots, you can create an interesting stack of house plants.

Yes, I've seen a few of these for other holidays. Yet, each skull pot has a unique flower in it.

Yes, I’ve seen a few of these for other holidays. Yet, each skull pot has a unique flower in it.

38. Grace your front door this Dia de los Muertos with this skull and flower wreath.

Sure it might just be a normal flower wreath without the decorated skulls. But it's nevertheless stunning.

Sure it might just be a normal flower wreath without the decorated skulls. But it’s nevertheless stunning.

39. Nothing makes Dia de los Muertos worthwhile than a colorful skull banner.

Now this is a very colorful display that seems to glow in the dark. Then again, they used a bright yellow I've seen on PennDOT uniforms.

Now this is a very colorful display that seems to glow in the dark. Then again, they used a bright yellow I’ve seen on PennDOT uniforms.

40. Of course, sometimes you might need to touch it up with a few roses.

Another mosaic skull with reflective tiles. Yet, this one has flowery, cheeks, lips, and roses.

Another mosaic skull with reflective tiles. Yet, this one has flowery, cheeks, lips, and roses.

41. This Dia de los Muertos, how about pull a chair?

This one has a skull with roses and candles. Yes, it's a morbid but stunning display on the seat.

This one has a skull with roses and candles. Yes, it’s a morbid but stunning display on the seat.

42. For wreaths on Day of the Dead, the more festive the better.

This one has skulls, flowers, ribbons, and more. What else could you want?

This one has skulls, flowers, ribbons, and more. What else could you want?

43. Remember your deceased loved ones with these Dia de los Muertos candle holders.

Each one has a decorated skull design for your desires. Of course, I'm not sure these are appropriate but what do you know?

Each one has a decorated skull design for your desires. Of course, I’m not sure these are appropriate but what do you know?

44. This skull vase is great for holding flowers.

Sure people might think you're a bit too into the Addams family. But these skulls are richly decorated for Day of the Dead.

Sure people might think you’re a bit too into the Addams family (if you’re not Mexican). But these skulls are richly decorated for Day of the Dead.

45. With this chair, you can sit on Calavera Catrina’s lap.

Yes, this is the original Calavera Catrina design. However, I do like her outrageous hat which I think goes well with her blue dress.

Yes, this is the original Calavera Catrina design. However, I do like her outrageous hat which I think goes well with her blue dress.

46. This cowboy skeleton fears nobody.

Well, I see a decorated skull biting his foot. So he shouldn't spend too much time gloating.

Well, I see a decorated skull biting his foot. So he shouldn’t spend too much time gloating.

47. You could hold these felt skulls in the palm of your hand.

They also have sequin eyes and come in variety of bright colors. Yet, not all seem to smile.

They also have sequin eyes and come in variety of bright colors. Yet, not all seem to smile.

48. Curl up on your couch with this skull pillow.

Has a lot of impressive embroidery. Love the flowery eyes and other motifs.

Has a lot of impressive embroidery. Love the flowery eyes and other motifs.

49. This tapestry makes a great Day of the Dead garden flag.

Of course, by that time of year the garden is mostly dead anyway. Or at least it's dead in my neck of the woods.

Of course, by that time of year the garden is mostly dead anyway. Or at least it’s dead in my neck of the woods.

50. This mosaic skull always looks bright in the right circumstances.

Not sure why it has clocks in its eyes. Maybe they know everything. I was just joking.

Not sure why it has clocks in its eyes. Maybe they know everything. I was just joking.

51. Sure you may have heard of a sugar skull? But have ever seen a pumpkin skull before?

Yes, I'm aware some Halloween traditions get intermeshed with Dia de los Muertos. But this is a very nice rendition. The spider, skeleton hand, and flowers is spot on.

Yes, I’m aware some Halloween traditions get intermeshed with Dia de los Muertos. But this is a very nice rendition. The spider, skeleton hand, and flowers is spot on.

52. On the Day of the Dead, a skull sampler is always most becoming.

However, it'll take more work than if it's just for Halloween. Of course, you can use this one for Halloween, too.

However, it’ll take more work than if it’s just for Halloween. Of course, you can use this one for Halloween, too.

53. Guess you can never come across a wooden skull panel like this.

Well, it's on a square panel with a skull painted on it. But I do love the purple flower eyes.

Well, it’s on a square panel with a skull painted on it. But I do love the purple flower eyes.

54. You can never overdo the orange flowers with this wreath.

This one has so many decorations going for it. Love the skull with heart eyes and veil.

This one has so many decorations going for it. Love the skull with heart eyes and veil.

55. Dress in style this Dia de los Muertos with these beaded skull earrings.

The flowers are beaded. The skulls aren't. But I don't think they go with the pendant I showed earlier.

The flowers are beaded. The skulls aren’t. But I don’t think they go with the pendant I showed earlier.

56. Celebrate Dia de los Muertos with this skeletal flamingo in your yard.

I'm sure there are plenty of Mexicans who live in Florida. Since it would be a perfect lawn decoration for them this time of year.

I’m sure there are plenty of Mexicans who live in Florida. Since it would be a perfect lawn decoration for them this time of year.

57. Never thought I’d ever see a sugar skull jack-o-lantern before.

Well, these only have only the eyes and nose carved out. I guess they were painted before they met the knife.

Well, these only have only the eyes and nose carved out. I guess they were painted before they met the knife.

58. This skull stained glass mosaic panel is great for any window.

Might freak out some of the neighbors in the process. But it certainly has an intricate design.

Might freak out some of the neighbors in the process. But it certainly has an intricate design.

59. This skull suncatcher seems content with nature.

This one has roses with a butterfly. Not very decorative but surely fitting.

This one has roses with a butterfly. Not very decorative but surely fitting.

60. This shiny skull mosaic bears a nice, shiny cross.

Well, Dia de los Muertos does have some religious elements in it. But these tiles seem highly reflective if you ask me.

Well, Dia de los Muertos does have some religious elements in it. But these tiles seem highly reflective if you ask me.

61. With these Dia de los Muertos earrings and necklace, you’ll be talk of the town.

Contains roses as well as beads in rainbow colors. Yes, seems morbid but we're talking about a holiday centering around death here.

Contains roses as well as beads in rainbow colors. Yes, seems morbid but we’re talking about a holiday centering around death here.

62. Honor your loved ones this Day of the Dead with this colorful inviting shrine.

Seems like it was straight out of IKEA before being brightly painted. Of course, there are skulls on the border.

Seems like it was straight out of IKEA before being brightly painted. Of course, there are skulls on the border.

63. Keep almost anything safe with these skull bottles or dispensers.

From how I see it, they look like soap dispensers to me. Colorful skulls but soap dispensers nevertheless.

From how I see it, they look like soap dispensers to me. Colorful skulls but soap dispensers nevertheless.

64. This colorful skull lamp would certainly wow visitors.

This one even has crazy eyes to hypnotize. Still, love the flowers.

This one even has crazy eyes to hypnotize. Still, love the flowers.

65. Don’t like wreaths? Hope this Catrina hanging suits your fancy.

This may be of Frida Kahlo but I'm not really sure. Sometimes it's hard to tell by the skull alone.

This may be of Frida Kahlo but I’m not really sure. Sometimes it’s hard to tell by the skull alone.

66. This skull wreath is all full with ribbons.

Well, it has ribbons, all right. And it's surely festive even with the skull in the center.

Well, it has ribbons, all right. And it’s surely festive even with the skull in the center.

67. Delight your guests this Dia de los Muertos with these skull dishes.

This set features a man, woman, dog and cat. Woman has marigolds for hair and a butterfly decoration.

This set features a man, woman, dog and cat. Woman has marigolds for hair and a butterfly decoration.

68. In this felt sampler, this skull has a rainbow headdress of flowers and grapes.

Well, the colors aren't in order, but still. Again, I'm not sure if it's supposed to be Frida Kahlo since she appears a lot in these decorations.

Well, the colors aren’t in order, but still. Again, I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be Frida Kahlo since she appears a lot in these decorations.

69. Never saw such a fine skull mask like this before.

So I guess this one is for hanging. Still, love the pearly whites and the bejeweled eye sockets. Very classy.

So I guess this one is for hanging. Still, love the pearly whites and the bejeweled eye sockets. Very classy.

70. Keep your belongings secure with this little coffin box.

And the one for the Day of the Dead gets a very flowery finish. Love the pink flowery border on this. Stunning.

And the one for the Day of the Dead gets a very flowery finish. Love the pink flowery border on this. Stunning.

71. Dazzle everyone with this flowery Dia de los Muertos necklace.

Has a skull in the center but flowers all over the place. Hope it doesn't weigh anyone down.

Has a skull in the center but flowers all over the place. Hope it doesn’t weigh anyone down.

72. This skull bottle lamp can change in to many different colors.

Well, as far as Pinterest is concerned. But I have some idea, that there's something funky going on inside.

Well, as far as Pinterest is concerned. But I have some idea, that there’s something funky going on inside.

73. This owl eyed skull jack-o-lantern is a real hoot.

Okay, it may not be an owl since I saw it had teeth which owls don't have. But the eyes and nose sure made me think that.

Okay, it may not be an owl since I saw it had teeth which owls don’t have. But the eyes and nose sure made me think that.

74. This white skull chair has a few flowery touches.

This is contrary to the black one we saw before. Still, you have to admire the fine paint job.

This is contrary to the black one we saw before. Still, you have to admire the fine paint job.

75. This skull scarf will keep you warm in the dead of fall.

Contains all the skulls and flowers for your desires. And in a black background for added morbidity.

Contains all the skulls and flowers for your desires. And in a black background for added morbidity.

76. Bet you’d want to cuddle with this skull pillow.

Well, this one is in a skull shape. Contains a purple cross and pink flower eyes.

Well, this one is in a skull shape. Contains a purple cross and pink flower eyes.

77. Perhaps you might want to take a cup and stay awhile.

Seems like these skull mugs almost give the word a whole new meaning. Like the one with the sacred heart.

Seems like these skull mugs almost give the word a whole new meaning. Like the one with the sacred heart.

78. Serve a drink at your Dia de los Muertos party with this mosaic bottle.

I had one featured in my Cinco de Mayo craft post in April. But not nearly as colorful as this one.

I had one featured in my Cinco de Mayo craft post in April. But not nearly as colorful as this one.

79. Never came across a skull mosaic with porcelain flower eyes before.

OR a nose for that matter. Yes, some of these skulls can be very elaborate if you use the right tiles.

OR a nose for that matter. Yes, some of these skulls can be very elaborate if you use the right tiles.

80. Sometimes a partial mask can be better than the full face.

Even a partial mask can contain skull eyes and a skull nose. The flower is a great touch.

Even a partial mask can contain skull eyes and a skull nose. The flower is a great touch.

81. Hey, is that a skeletal mariachi band?

You may not hear any music from these guys. But they sure make a great lawn decoration trio.

You may not hear any music from these guys. But they sure make a great lawn decoration trio.

82. This skull necklace is almost to die for on Dia de los Muertos.

Again, I almost thought this was an owl due to the big yes. And maybe it is. But now I don't think so.

Again, I almost thought this was an owl due to the big yes. And maybe it is. But now I don’t think so.

83. For double glass doors, these colorful skull wreaths are perfect.

As far as I can tell, they seem to come in a set. Still, you can't help but adore them.

As far as I can tell, they seem to come in a set. Still, you can’t help but adore them.

84. If you’re serving tea or hot water, here’s the perfect pot for you.

Yes, this is a pottery tea pot or kettle. And it has a skull design to fit with the occasion.

Yes, this is a pottery tea pot or kettle. And it has a skull design to fit with the occasion.

85. These turquoise skull and rose earrings are surely a delight.

If these skulls were surrounded by other flowers, they'd be perfect with the pendant necklace. But they don't. Then again, sometimes it's best to be simple.

If these skulls were surrounded by other flowers, they’d be perfect with the pendant necklace. But they don’t. Then again, sometimes it’s best to be simple.

86. This mosaic Frida Kahlo skull is a work of a true artist.

Like Frida Kahlo was herself. At least I could tell it's here here. Love the earrings.

Like Frida Kahlo was herself. At least I could tell it’s here here. Love the earrings.

87. This Mexican chair is loaded with colors and birds.

It has two peacocks on the seat. Not to mention, even the chair back and legs are painted in bright colors.

It has two peacocks on the seat. Not to mention, even the chair back and legs are painted in bright colors.

88. A mosaic skull could never have too many flowers.

This one has flowers almost everywhere. It even has roses on the forehead.

This one has flowers almost everywhere. It even has roses on the forehead.

89. This owl skeleton figure is especially flowery.

See, I told you they had other animals. And I definitely know this is an owl.

See, I told you they had other animals. And I definitely know this is an owl.

90. For a more elaborate display, you can’t go wrong with this skull headdress.

Might make people scratch their heads. But I'm sure it'll go well with whatever dress you pick.

Might make people scratch their heads. But I’m sure it’ll go well with whatever dress you pick.

91. For a more simple look, this skull wreath comes with a few homey touches.

Well, it only has a few skulls on it along with some flowers. But I do think it goes great with any front door.

Well, it only has a few skulls on it along with some flowers. But I do think it goes great with any front door.

92. This dancing skeleton quilt will sure make things lively at your home.

Yeah, you see a lot of skeletons depicted this way this time of year. Of course, what do you expect?

Yeah, you see a lot of skeletons depicted this way this time of year. Of course, what do you expect?

93. For a morbid hair piece, these skull flowers will satisfy.

And I'm sure they will on Dia de los Muertos. Available in 7 different colors.

And I’m sure they will on Dia de los Muertos. Available in 7 different colors.

94. This skull pillow and rug always go hand in hand.

Doesn't hurt they're both crocheted in the same pattern. As far as I can tell.

Doesn’t hurt they’re both crocheted in the same pattern. As far as I can tell.

95. For a more flowery cross, these may strike your fancy.

Available in several bright colors. Each one also has flowers, too.

Available in several bright colors. Each one also has flowers, too.

96. Hope your little one has hours of fun on this skeletal rocking horse.

Okay, that's pretty clever and creative. Love how the bones are painted.

Okay, that’s pretty clever and creative. Love how the bones are painted.

97. Raise a glass to your deceased loved ones with these skull wine glasses.

I'm sure these are only just for decoration. Still, they come in a wide variety of colors.

I’m sure these are only just for decoration. Still, they come in a wide variety of colors.

98. This turquoise rose and skull bracelet is all the rage on Dia de los Muertos.

This one goes with the turquoise skull and rose earrings. So I had to include it.

This one goes with the turquoise skull and rose earrings. So I had to include it.

99. For a mask like this one, you’d almost mistake it for a masterpiece.

This one is painted like a skull with a wide array of purple feathers and flowers. Like the purple butterfly.

This one is painted like a skull with a wide array of purple flowers. Like the purple butterfly.

100. With this skull lounge chair, you can lounge around like there’s no tomorrow.

Yes, this skull lounge chair is more decorated than it's Halloween counterpart. But it still has the skull eyes and nose.

Yes, this skull lounge chair is more decorated than it’s Halloween counterpart. But it still has the skull eyes and nose.

The Spooky World of Halloween Pumpkin Dioramas (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

pumpkin-diorama-feature

Last year, I did a post on Halloween pumpkin dioramas that has caused as much of a sensation on my blog and continues to do so. So I decided to do another post despite having a hard time finding unique pumpkin dioramas like these posted above. And I used all of them in last year’s post. When I discussed the idea of pumpkin dioramas with my mother, she seemed to imagine the pumpkin being part of the display. So she was surprised when she saw the dioramas in the pumpkin whether they come from a pumpkin patch or a craft store. And many of them do have a lot of scary Halloween stuff. But once in a while you might find pumpkin dioramas like these which revolve around polar regions, fairy gardens, and space.  Some pumpkin dioramas revolve around Thanksgiving but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of these Halloween pumpkin creations.

  1. How about a some campfire music with old friends?
Sure they may not want to get out of their graves at the moment. But the music can go straight to their bones or wake the dead.

Sure they may not want to get out of their graves at the moment. But the music can go straight to their bones or wake the dead.

2. Things have been a little dead lately in the big house.

And here they are gambling behind bars. Seem to have no bones about it.

And here they are gambling behind bars. Seem to have no bones about it.

3. Seems like this graveyard has seen better days.

Guess somebody hasn't tended this cemetery in years. As I can tell by the weeds.

Guess somebody hasn’t tended this cemetery in years. As I can tell by the weeds.

4. Hope you don’t have to stay in this haunted house.

The house lights up from the inside if you get my drift. Seems like a skeleton answers the door.

The house lights up from the inside if you get my drift. Seems like a skeleton answers the door.

5. Just because the house is small doesn’t mean it’s not haunted.

Well, this house is a paper cut out. Yet, I do love how they used moss and trees for the scary decor.

Well, this house is a paper cut out. Yet, I do love how they used moss and trees for the scary decor.

6. Sometimes these old houses could take their secrets to the grave.

Yes, I know it's not painted black for a night scene on the inside. Yet, it nevertheless seems all the more eerie.

Yes, I know it’s not painted black for a night scene on the inside. Yet, it nevertheless seems all the more eerie.

7. Don’t mind these skeletons hanging out on the graveyard shift.

"So I said to her, 'Look, we're not getting any younger. At least I you still have your skin while I'm practically decomposing.'"

“So I said to her, ‘Look, we’re not getting any younger. At least I you still have your skin while I’m practically decomposing.'”

8. Hope your pumpkin graveyard includes a scary tree.

And I don't mean one of those Ents from Lord of the Rings. Unless you want to do a Lord of the Rings pumpkin diorama, which this is not.

And I don’t mean one of those Ents from Lord of the Rings. Unless you want to do a Lord of the Rings pumpkin diorama, which this is not.

9. Seems like we have a light from the ground here.

It's also part miniature garden as well with a carved top. Still, like the light.

It’s also part miniature garden as well with a carved top. Still, like the light.

10. Man, those skeletons sure know how to party.

But I often hear that they're not a lively bunch. Though they really seem to have a dead good time.

But I often hear that they’re not a lively bunch. Though they really seem to have a dead good time.

11. When you see a large skull at night, you’ll be in for a fright.

Now this one is quite menacing. Really like how the one skeleton rises out of the ground and the white trees. That kid will surely need therapy.

Now this one is quite menacing. Really like how the one skeleton rises out of the ground and the white trees. That kid will surely need therapy.

12. Guess you can find lots of bats about this one.

This one seems to take a view from the sky with paper bats and branches inside. Amazing.

This one seems to take a view from the sky with paper bats and branches inside. Amazing.

13. Open the door to this pumpkin and you’ll find a haunted house inside.

You'll also find some pumpkins stacked like a snowman as well as bats on a lite tree. But that's beside the point.

You’ll also find some pumpkins stacked like a snowman as well as bats on a lite tree. But that’s beside the point.

14. Sometimes people would want their pumpkins to contain the sights of nature.

However, they couldn't include a scene of deer mating, fighting, getting shot but hunters, or being hit by cars as would you normally see during the fall. So they decided to go with a deer family scene instead.

However, they couldn’t include a scene of deer mating, fighting, getting shot but hunters, or being hit by cars as would you normally see during the fall. So they decided to go with a deer family scene instead.

15. This little pumpkin contains a real graveyard scene.

Well, it doesn't use much. But you might not want to know who's buried here. Or who's decomposing.

Well, it doesn’t use much. But you might not want to know who’s buried here. Or who’s decomposing.

16. Enter this graveyard if you dare.

Love how they painted the clouds in this one. Also like the large gate. Really eerie.

Love how they painted the clouds in this one. Also like the large gate. Really eerie.

17. This barbecue is bound to be a graveyard smash.

"How about we cook ribs on the grill tonight?" "Whose yours or mine? Cause I don't have any meat on 'em."

“How about we cook ribs on the grill tonight?”
“Whose yours or mine? Cause I don’t have any meat on ’em.”

18. Here we come to Cinderella being let out from her pumpkin coach.

Well, that's one way to put a pumpkin to good use. Not scary for Halloween, creative enough.

Well, that’s one way to put a pumpkin to good use. Not scary for Halloween, creative enough.

19. May your dreams come true with this Disney pumpkin diorama.

Once again, this also features Cinderella and her castle. Why was I not surprised?

Once again, this also features Cinderella and her castle. Why was I not surprised?

20. Even foxes should know not to be alone in a graveyard at night.

Well, I think the fox touch is a bit clever since wildlife frequent cemeteries all the time. Hope it can get through the night.

Well, I think the fox touch is a bit clever since wildlife frequent cemeteries all the time. Hope it can get through the night.

21. How about a road of black trees into the sunset?

I guess the trees might be made from paper. But I love how they create an arch over the road so close together.

I guess the trees might be made from paper. But I love how they create an arch over the road so close together.

22. This skeleton is by himself with his bones.

Yes. he's on a bench in his bones on a night like this. Hope he didn't die waiting for anyone or anything.

Yes. he’s on a bench in his bones on a night like this. Hope he didn’t die waiting for anyone or anything.

23. This haunted house has really gone to the ghosts.

Well, you have bats around here, too but they seem more part of the scenery. But they're the only living creature you'll find here.

Well, you have bats around here, too but they seem more part of the scenery. But they’re the only living creature you’ll find here.

24. Fans of the Wizard of Oz would enjoy this pumpkin diorama of Emerald City.

Of course, I think the flying monkey scenes would've been more appropriate. Considering this is Halloween we're talking about.

Of course, I think the flying monkey scenes would’ve been more appropriate. Considering this is Halloween we’re talking about.

25. Using cotton is great for cobwebs and fog.

Well, this seems like a messy craft project made by a school child. Then again, it's kind of supposed to be.

Well, this seems like a messy craft project made by a school child. Then again, it’s kind of supposed to be.

26. For a fighting mummy scene, an Egyptian scene is necessary.

And it seems these mummies are going at it with each other. Must be in a museum.

And it seems these mummies are going at it with each other. Must be in a museum.

27. Seems like these skeletons are having a graveyard smash in the Old West.

Well, it's kind of hard to make out what's going on here. But I'm sure the figures are kind of undead.

Well, it’s kind of hard to make out what’s going on here. But I’m sure the figures are kind of undead.

28. Sometimes a graveyard might need to blend with its surroundings.

After all, having it a plain orange pumpkin doesn't make it seem any more dead. Also, got to make room for those trees.

After all, having it a plain orange pumpkin doesn’t make it seem any more dead. Also, got to make room for those trees.

29. This skeleton really knows how to make an entrance.

Yes, they really seem to dig a stylish red motorcycle. Then again, it's not like the moped could kill them since they're dead already.

Yes, they really seem to dig a stylish red motorcycle. Then again, it’s not like the moped could kill them since they’re dead already.

30. Ahoy, dead pirates on the high seas.

Seems like they came across some treasure, too. Too bad they may not be able to enjoy it.

Seems like they came across some treasure, too. Too bad they may not be able to enjoy it.

31. It always seems a little dead at 1313.

Doesn't seem like a lively place. Unless you're a bat. Like the house and trees.

Doesn’t seem like a lively place. Unless you’re a bat. Like the house and trees.

32. Need room for broom parking?

Well, outside broom parking anyway. Inside broom parking space is a closet. Like the spiderweb.

Well, outside broom parking anyway. Inside broom parking space is a closet. Like the spiderweb.

33. This place seems to have become a real ghost town.

Think of it as an Old West town but with skeletons. Why Tim Burton doesn't make a western movie like this I have no idea.

Think of it as an Old West town but with skeletons. Why Tim Burton doesn’t make a western movie like this I have no idea.

34. It’s always eerie to see bats flying at the full moon.

Well, bats are kind of creepy if you ask me. Yet, wonder if there's a pumpkin diorama with a Batman sign.

Well, bats are kind of creepy if you ask me. Yet, wonder if there’s a pumpkin diorama with a Batman sign.

35. Seems like this pumpkin is under construction.

This one uses Playmobil figures. Must've been made for a kid so it would be less scary.

This one uses Playmobil figures. Must’ve been made for a kid so it would be less scary.

36. Behold the raven overlooking the unburied graves.

Odd, to have the skeletons all black like they're decomposing. Nice to have a mausoleum, which you don't see in a lot of grave yard scenes.

Odd, to have the skeletons all black like they’re decomposing. Nice to have a mausoleum, which you don’t see in a lot of grave yard scenes.

37. Now this makes a great cemetery entrance.

I'm sure most cemeteries don't have skeleton entry archways. So enter if you dare.

I’m sure most cemeteries don’t have skeleton entry archways. So enter if you dare.

38. These pumpkins always make nice abodes for fall fairies.

Both of them even have bats for added Halloween emphasis. Also like the gnomes.

Both of them even have bats for added Halloween emphasis. Also like the gnomes.

39. You’ll never know what you’ll find on Halloween night.

These seem to have a more vintage look to them. Two have trick or treaters. One has a witch.

These seem to have a more vintage look to them. Two have trick or treaters. One has a witch.

40. May you step up to know your fortune.

Seems like that's an Evil Queen from Snow White in a yellow dress for this purpose. Love the border though.

Seems like that’s an Evil Queen from Snow White in a yellow dress for this purpose. Love the border though.

41. Seems like we have plants spilling out this pumpkin.

Well, I said some of these are mini gardens. Not sure if it will be good after October though.

Well, I said some of these are mini gardens. Not sure if it will be good after October though.

42. Not sure if I could hear the future from this fortune teller.

Like the spider web outfit on the skeleton. Very fitting for a haunted fortune teller.

Like the spider web outfit on the skeleton. Very fitting for a haunted fortune teller.

43. Something must’ve awoken the dead during the night.

Then again, they could be early risers. Of course, it's probably too late for me to say that.

Then again, they could be early risers. Of course, it’s probably too late for me to say that.

44. Those who enjoy Harry Potter will enjoy these pumpkin dioramas.

One depicts Buckbeak at Hagrid's Hut from the Prisoner of Azkaban. The other has Harry on his broom during a Quidditch match.

One depicts Buckbeak at Hagrid’s Hut from the Prisoner of Azkaban. The other has Harry on his broom during a Quidditch match.

45. There’s nothing more adorable than a couple of raccoons.

Yes, these are cute inside your pumpkin. But they can be a terror in your trash bin.

Yes, these are cute inside your pumpkin. But they can be a terror in your trash bin.

46. Better rest in peace with this spooky town.

Yes, I know you see a lot of graveyard pumpkin dioramas. But it's Halloween for God's sake. So graveyard scenes are a thing.

Yes, I know you see a lot of graveyard pumpkin dioramas. But it’s Halloween for God’s sake. So graveyard scenes are a thing.

47. Well, hope these ghosts can haunt to it.

This doesn't seem that hard to do. And will surely not scare people. Like the ghosts.

This doesn’t seem that hard to do. And will surely not scare people. Like the ghosts.

48. Nothing makes a better pumpkin diorama like a tiger and a squirrel.

And the squirrel doesn't seem to scale which makes it ideal prey for the tiger. Because, that's nature.

And the squirrel doesn’t seem to scale which makes it ideal prey for the tiger. Because, that’s nature.

49. Perhaps you may say he’s dead but not completely buried.

Now that looks pretty creepy, especially with the foliage. Love the crow on top. Or is that a raven?

Now that looks pretty creepy, especially with the foliage. Love the crow on top. Or is that a raven?

50. This spidery pumpkin has no bones about it.

Well, it has plenty of bones about it inside. But that's just an expression. Still, has spiders for extra creepiness.

Well, it has plenty of bones about it inside. But that’s just an expression. Still, has spiders for extra creepiness.