The Haystack World of Straw Sculpture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2017

07_15_14_web

As autumn arrives, the fall festivals are in full swing. Whether it be Germany’s Ocktoberfest or some fun farm pumpkin patch with hayrides and stuff, you’ll find plenty since autumn’s usually harvest time. That and a great way to capitalize on Halloween which isn’t far behind. Nevertheless, since it’s not Columbus Day yet (or Indigenous People’s Day to those who don’t like the term), I’m not able to do the Halloween stuff which many of my readers look forward to. But earlier this week, I stumbled on a collection of straw sculptures from Japan and thought it as a way to hold me over till then. Now during the fall, farmers often collect hay to feed their livestock over the winter which consist of plants or inedible parts of plants that have been cut, dried, and stored. Farmers may typically store hay in square or round bales or in a stack. And there are people who may take a more creative approach and make sculptures. Whether they be of hay bales or for fall festivals or something else entirely. While hay sculpture isn’t as prevalent in the farm art world as crop circles, it does have some sort of presence on the Internet like Pinterest and other sites of interest. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of straw sculpture. Enjoy.

Someone must’ve left a semi on the yonder field.

Actually it’s a hay made trailer truck. But it can supply a whole farm’s livestock for months.

2. When riding in a field, please don’t run into hay bales.

This scarecrow guy learned the hard way. Also, I know they used more than one bike for this.

3. Bet you don’t want to cross this wicker bull on a bad day.

Though a cow may find this guy good enough to eat. By the way, this bull is from Japan.

4. You can’t guess the length of this giant caterpillar.

Well, that one looks pretty easy to do. Just roll the bales in the right places and put a face on the front.

5. This squared bale owl will surely be a hoot.

This owl is made from square bales with some decorative additions. Like the eyes.

6. This springy straw dog is a real stretch.

Hey, that’s Slinky Dog from Toy Story. Just a few bales and a large metal coil.

7. Beware of making hay with this dairy cow.

The limbs consist of square bales. The body is a round one. But you can’t resist this bossy face.

8. This teddy bear can always beat his drum in an open field.

Well, a drum doesn’t require much since it’s round. But yes, this teddy is so adorable. Probably from Vermont.

9. This straw rat always gets the cheese.

Yes, it looks pretty creepy with red eyes and whiskers. But at least it won’t spread disease in your house.

10. This straw rabbit pulls its own cart with eggs.

Yes, this is an Easter display in hay. By that time most of the hay is usually eaten. But this is quite intricate.

11. Mater always makes hay at any time of day.

This is Mater from Cars. He’s a tow truck. And yes, he’s mostly made of bales.

12. Hop along on the Hay Bale Express.

It even has its own rails below. Consists of round and square bales with some attributes.

13. One of these bale people has all the brushes.

One has a box of cleaning brooms. The other has a role of something on a wooden stand. Not sure what it’s supposed to be.

14. A hay bear always stands proud.

Well, that’s a very intricate sculpture. And it’s standing on two legs. Bet you that would scare more crows than a scarecrow.

15. This straw sculpture is of mammoth proportions.

Guess you can pull off a wooly mammoth better than an elephant in hay. And yes, it’s supposed to be huge.

16. “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Straw.”

Well, one of the characters is a scarecrow. But yes, you should expect Wizard of Oz hay displays like these.

17. Oscar isn’t fond of people giving him straw.

And he has “Scram!” on his trash can. Consists of a round bale on his head and in green.

18. Minion bales always assist with evil or not.

This is from Despicable Me 2. You can tell from the purple minion included.

19. This hay bunny keeps going and going and going.

You know the pink Energizer bunny always beating the drum. Apparently, there’s a hay sculpture in its likeness.

20. Looks like these straw dogs are having a good time.

That one might be hard to explain to their kids. Not sure how someone could pull that off with families around.

21. Don’t look now, but I think it’s the Loch Ness monster in that field.

Well, it’s the Loch Ness Monster made of straw. You don’t see the rest of it because it’s probably underground.

22. As they always say, hay is for horses.

Though you might not think of a horse made of hay like this one. But don’t try to ride it.

23. We all know that Jesus was born in a barn. So this nativity scene is only fitting.

This one consists of Mary, Joseph, Jesus, animals and the Three Wise Men. Just don’t put this one in a real barn if you want to use it as a Christmas decoration.

24. You can easily get inside this straw kangaroo pouch.

You can easily see the kid getting inside the pouch here. And yes, this is from Japan.

25. You might get a lot of hay from this sumo wrestler.

Though this might be the lightest sumo wrestler you see. Because those guys really pack the pounds.

26. A straw rhino always feels at home in a field.

Sure rhinos are from Africa. But this one is in Japan. Still, pretty amazing to see this in straw.

27. If you’re going out, make sure you wear your hay heels.

Okay, that’s a play on words. But this hay heel shoe almost matches the barn.

28. Imagine seeing a giant rabbit like this in your vegetable patch.

He even has a large carrot and blue jacket. Hope rabbits don’t munch on this sculpture. So cute.

29. Thomas the Tank Engine helms the straw Santa Express.

Because Thomas is the engine. And Santa is in the caboose. The rest of the train is red and green as well as covered in wreath and garland.

30. You should be mocking hay if you’re into the Hunger Games.

Well, it could be worse. It could’ve consist of Katniss in her fire dress in Catching Fire. Because hay is extremely flammable.

31. Smoke-hay the Bear is here to tell you how to prevent forest fires.

He’s kind of like Smokey the Bear. But he’s much more flammable. Because he’s made of straw.

32. Seems like this alligator really wants the rubber chicken.

This is a pretty clever scene. Hope the guy in the boat doesn’t get eaten. For that chicken doesn’t look very satisfying.

33. Now that’s what you call a real work horse.

Well, it’s made from straw and is attached to a plow. May not plow your field like a tractor. But at least you don’t need to spread manure.

34. Hope you don’t make hay over Old Glory.

This one consists of square bales for stripes and a round bale with stars. Not an exact replica but you do what you can.

35. Too bad Will-hay Nelson won’t be going on the road again.

Though you have to feel bummed he’s not made out of a certain kind of grass. However, if he lights a joint, he won’t be around much longer. Mostly because straw easily catches fire.

36. Never thought I’d see a farmer made of straw.

This one has farmers with the cow. Let’s hope one of them doesn’t sell it for magic beans. Or burns it.

37. Hop aboard on this ferris wheel of straw.

Actually I wouldn’t take my chances on that one. Seems like the seats are square bales as far as I can see.

38. Now that has to be one giant Meer cat.

Meer cats aren’t actually that big. In fact, they’re quite small. But sometimes it helps to create an impression.

39. How about build Big Ben with bales?

Sure it doesn’t ring on the hour. But you have to wonder how so much hay can stand so tall.

40. You can even get some straw via satellite.

Well, it’s a straw satellite dish. May not get any signals. But it’s amazing.

41. You have to be a pro to ride your bike on a straw arch.

I know it kind of looks impossible to come up with. But in a straw sculpture, you can do almost anything.

42. A field is an ideal place for a very hungry caterpillar.

This is from a popular children’s book about a caterpillar that eats through so much food before pupating and becoming a butterfly. This one is made of bales and has it go over a fence.

43. This hay festival is brought to you by Cheetos.

This is a hay sculpture of Chester. Notice he doesn’t have any Cheetos on him at the moment. And it kind of seems like he’s hitchhiking.

44. Bet you’ve never seen such a dragon like this before.

Though if it burns fire, it will burn itself. Still, looks pretty cool for any fantasy fan.

45. Might not want to piss off this giant cobra.

Because cobras are very poisonous snakes. Though if it goes after you, you can easily set it on fire.

46. Perhaps you might want to go in this T-Rex’s mouth.

Though chances are it might devour you. That if this was Jurassic Park and it wasn’t made of straw.

47. How about sit down with this white tiger?

It’s mostly made of square and round hay bales. But you have to love its eyes. So cute.

48. This Vermont teddy feels fully at home with garbage.

Well, it has trash cans in front of it. But it’s nevertheless adorable. Love it.

49. Perhaps you might want to load this semi-truck.

You’d almost mistake this straw sculpture for the real thing. Though you can put in more bales for the load.

50. Funny, I thought that was supposed to be a shoe.

It actually is supposed to be a shoe house. But it’s made from round hay bales with trimmings.

51. Out in the countryside, there’s nothing like a John Deere tractor.

Well, it’s a hay Deer tractor. So it won’t exactly run. But it’s almost spot on to the real thing.

52. For a war on straw, you can’t do better than a hay bale fort.

Sure it’s not fireproof since it’s made from square bales. But you have to admire the construction.

53. Do you want fries for this hayburger?

It’s mostly a hay bale dressed as a cheeseburger. Looks delicious doesn’t it?

54. With this straw rocket, you’ll have liftoff.

Though light anything under this rocket and it’ll instantly incinerate. Though it’s a rather impressive design.

55. Win-hay the Pooh can never resist a jar of honey.

He’s made from hay bales with a jar of honey in his arms. He’s also so cute you want to hug him.

56. There’s no hay display more epic than Straw Wars.

It’s a hay display of Star Wars. I know it’s not the kind of picture you’re looking for. But you must not underestimate the ways of the Force.

57. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair.”

Bet this one was built from an abandoned structure in Montana. Though the prince will have a long climb.

58. Any druids reading this might want to have this for their harvest festival.

It’s Stonehenge made from hay bales. Won’t withstand the test of time. But doesn’t look that bad.

59. Hope this windmill doesn’t get swept by the wind.

The tower is built of hay bales. Not sure what the blades are made of. But you’d almost think it’s real until you look closely.

60. Is this a red panda or a red raccoon?

Looks more like a red panda. Yet, it has a striped tail of hay bales.

61. Seems like the Island of Misfit Toys is full of straw.

This is a take off of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas special. Kind of looks jarring to see hay instead of snow.

62. Christmas is always the time for green bales.

You can stack them up and make a Christmas tree. Though hay sculpture looks more suited for fall though.

63. I’ve seen a beached whale on TV but this is ridiculous.

Though most of these hay sculptures are in fields. Wonder if you can get inside it.

64. Though spiders can inhabit straw. All this straw made the spider.

Now this might freak people out. Giant spiders will certainly terrify the bejesus on may. Even if made from straw.

65. How about sit on this turtle’s shell?

Still, its shell isn’t rock solid. But you have to admire the design.

66. Your defenses are no match for the dreaded straw tank.

Don’t worry. It doesn’t shoot out anything. Except maybe T-shirts, I guess.

67. This straw hand gives the sign of peace.

This one uses to fingers. And it’s all made of straw. So make hay not war.

68. “We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.”

This one is made from hay bales. After that, just add the pictures.

69. Hope this gator doesn’t swallow you up.

Relax, it’s a straw gator. You can go into its mouth. But it won’t eat you.

70. At jumbo size, you might find this ferret quite scary.

Though you have to admire how realistic it looks. Then again, it’s in a Japanese style.

71. Tokyo isn’t safe whenever this straw monster rampages the streets.

You can guess this is Godzilla, Japan’s most iconic movie monster. Though this one is only made from straw.

72. This duckie just loves to be in its little pond.

Luckily straw floats so you can see this cute little duckie. Not as big as the other straw structures. But charming.

73. Anyone can look graceful on a straw horse.

As long as the rider is also made of straw. Yet, these to really seem to go together.

74. Bet you wouldn’t see an Olmec head like this in Mexico.

Because it’s made of hay in Japan. Not an exact replica. But not bad.

75. Wonder what it’s like to take this ship on the high seas.

Almost resembles a wooden ship with folded sails. Though it’s made from hay in the hull.

76. Try to solve this riddle of the Sphinx.

You can even go inside it like these people in the eyes. But don’t try to light a cigarette inside or it’ll catch fire.

77. Nobody can resist this cuddly pussy cat.

This little guy is almost purrfect. Then again, the Japanese have a soft spot for cuteness.

78. This Triceratops could almost give you hay fever in Jurassic Park.

Yes, this is another straw dinosaur in Japan. And yes, it’s probably the closest you’ll ever see to the real thing.

79. A straw gorilla can really strike a pose.

Yes, he sure looks fierce. But I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be a straw King Kong. Wonder if he’s right next to Godzilla.

80. Try to take to the skies in this haymade biplane.

Okay, you can’t fly it. But it’s certainly a charming sculpture to behold.

The Confederate Monuments Must Come Down

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 15, 2017

CharlottesvilleRobertLeeStatue

As you may recall, during the weekend, white supremacists descended upon Charlottesville, Virginia for a “Unite the Right” rally to protest the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue in Emancipation Park. And as you know, they clashed with a group of counter-protesters which resulted in 3 people killed and at least 35 wounded. Nevertheless, since the 2015 Emmanuel AME Church shootings in Charleston, South Carolina, there has been more attention on Confederate symbols in public spaces. Two years ago, I wrote a post arguing why the Confederate flag is racist and why it should be removed. But it’s not the only Confederate symbol you see in the United States. Across the nation hundreds of Confederate memorials, plazas, and markers dot 31 states standing in public parks, courthouse squares, and state capitols. Plenty of cities, bridges, roads, parks, schools, counties, military bases, and other public areas are named after Confederate icons. And as of 2017, six states observe 9 official Confederate holidays. Since the Charleston shooting, at least 60 of these publicly funded Confederate symbols have been removed or renamed according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. However, as of 2016, the SPLC has documented that over 1,500 of them remain on public property including more than 700 monuments and statues.

Attempts at removing these monuments or renaming public spaces have generated considerable controversy and backlash. Some of these monuments like the Robert E. Lee statue in Charlottesville have become rallying points for white supremacists. Yet, opposition to Confederate monument removal isn’t just limited to the radical right fringe. Southern state lawmakers have proposed legislation banning local governments from removing these controversial landmarks and symbols. One state representative from Mississippi even called for those removing Confederate statues to be lynched. Also, most of these plaques, statues, and monuments are still up thanks to the support of local residents, town councils, and even state governments. Many critics say removing a monument or flag, renaming a public place, or ending a state holiday is tantamount “erasing history.” Proponents often state that these landmarks and emblems represent history and heritage and that efforts to remove them is just political correctness gone too far.

Yet, the “heritage not hate” rationale used to justify public Confederate displays ignores the near-universal heritage of African Americans whose ancestors were enslaved in the South. It also trivializes their pain, their history, and concerns about racism. Not to mention, the “heritage” argument conceals the true history of the Confederacy and the 7 decades of Jim Crow segregation and oppression after Reconstruction. There is no doubt that the Confederacy was founded on white supremacy and that the South fought the Civil War to preserve slavery. Its founding documents and leaders made it perfectly clear. After all it was Confederate Vice President Alexander Stephens who said in his 1861 “Cornerstone speech”, “Our new government is founded upon … the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition.” And by defending slavery with gunfire and cannons, the Confederates prolonged the life of an institution which brought indescribable suffering and horror to millions. Through waging war against the Union, they betrayed the United States and killed thousands of their fellow countrymen.
However, despite that Civil War history is well-documented, legions of Southern whites still cling to the Lost Cause myth as a noble Southern endeavor fought to defend the region’s honor and its ability to govern itself in the face of Northern aggression. This is of course, bullshit but it’s a deeply rooted false narrative resulting from many decades of revisionism in the lore and even Southern textbooks seeking to create a more acceptable version of the area’s past. According to a 2011 Pew Research Center survey, 48% of Americans cited states’ rights as the reason for the Civil War despite which doesn’t hold up when you include the Fugitive Slave Act, Bleeding Kansas, and the Dred Scott Decision. Not to mention, all the pro-slavery and white supremacist sentiments in Confederate documents. Still, these Confederate monuments and symbols in the South are very much a part of that effort. Historian Thavolia Glymph noted that the Lost Cause became so endemic that it passed, “off legend as history so successfully that the legend came to be remembered as the history.” Though Southerners started honoring the Confederacy with statues and symbols almost immediately after the Civil War, most dedications of Confederate monuments and other symbols took place during the early 20th century which lasted well into the 1920s and from the early 1950s all through the 1960s. Why these periods? Well, the first spike happened during the period when states enacted Jim Crow laws to disenfranchise newly freed blacks and re-segregate society. This period also saw the dramatic resurgence of the Klu Klux Klan thanks to D.W. Griffith’s 1916 film The Birth of a Nation. The second spike in Confederate dedications happened during the civil rights movement, leading to white segregationist backlash. Even in the 21st century, these monuments keep cropping up, including 35 in North Carolina. Therefore, it’s very clear that many of these Confederate monuments and symbols exist not to honor history, heritage or the fallen but to enforce and perpetuate white supremacy through legal and even violent means.

Not only do these monuments instill white supremacy on the American landscape, they also perpetuate myths that screw up the American historical narrative known as the Lost Cause myth. When you erect a monument for someone or group, you also determine how they should be remembered as well as enshrine everything they stood for as noble and just. These Confederate monuments conjure images of resplendent generals and brave soldiers fighting for a noble but lost cause. Memorials to Confederate soldiers extol their heroism and valor or sometimes details of particular battles or local units. But some go so far as to glorify the Confederacy’s cause. One notable example is a monument in Anderson County, South Carolina reading, “The world shall yet decide, in truth’s clear, far-off light, that the soldiers who wore the gray, and died with Lee, were in the right.” But in reality, their cause was white supremacy and slavery which are anything but noble. They also conceal the economic exploitation, political oppression, and widespread violence black people faced when these monuments were built.

But while dedicating Confederate memorials for fallen soldiers is one thing, leaders are another. Many of these statues of Confederate leaders conjure a perception of them as gallant and noble heroes fighting for what was right. As an activist in Memphis told Al Jazeera, “Kids see these statues and think they’re for great people. These statues don’t say anything about the atrocities.” And they don’t usually reflect who these leaders are. Robert E. Lee is clearest example of this since he’s had more monuments and places with his name and/or likeness than any other leader in the Confederacy. And he’s certainly its most admired champion who’s continually praised as a brilliant strategist as well as a kind, benevolent figure who hated slavery and secession. But he fought for the South out of duty to the Virginia he so loved. Except that’s not the real Robert E. Lee. Lee did make some grandiose sentiments in favor of liberty on occasion. But he was not only fine with owning slaves, he fought a court case to keep his father-in-law’s slaves who’ve been promised their freedom after the old man died. He lost Documents show he was anything but the kind, benevolent man he’s portrayed as, at least as far as his family’s slaves are concerned. In fact, Lee opposed virtually any pro-emancipation cause that would’ve actually freed slaves and harshly condemned abolitionists. During his invasion into Pennsylvania, Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia would abduct free blacks for enslavement. His men also massacred black Union soldiers who tried to surrender during the Battle of Crater and paraded the survivors through the streets of Petersburg, Virginia. Lee never discouraged such behavior because he didn’t believe blacks shouldn’t be treated as human beings. And he certainly believed in white supremacy after the war since he argued against black enfranchisement, raged against Republican efforts to enforce racial equality in the South, and allowed students at Washington College to establish their own Klu Klux Klan chapter, rape black schoolgirls, and attempt lynchings. Besides, when the Civil War broke out, Lee first asked permission to sit out of the war altogether. While he did anguish whether to maintain his oath of loyalty to the US Army or fight on behalf of his state and slavery, he chose the latter. Fittingly enough, he sent a letter of resignation to the War Department via slave. Lee then wrote another letter expressing that he didn’t believe Virginia yet had full justification to secede, he knew he chose against the wishes of his wife and children (as well as several other family members). Besides, Virginians like Winfield Scott, George Henry Thomas, his own cousins Fitzgerald and Samuel Phillips Lee, future West Virginians, and 40% of Virginia’s officers remained loyal to the Union. As for being a brilliant strategist, well, despite being an accomplished tactician and winning individual battles, many historians consider his decision to fight against a more industrialized and densely populated North as a fatal strategic error. But even if he was as great military commander, Lee was still responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people in defense of the South’s authority to own millions of black people. Lee’s elevation as hero is a key part of Lost Cause mythology designed to erase slavery as the cause of the Civil War and whitewash the Confederate cause as a noble one. Perhaps the most fitting monument to General Robert E. Lee is the national military cemetery on his lawn at Arlington. If you want a Confederate general to idolize, may I suggest James Longstreet? At least he embraced equal rights for blacks after the Civil War and took on white supremacists in New Orleans with an integrated police force. But that’s why Lost Cause folks hate his guts.

Even more disturbing is that many of these Confederate monuments aren’t just in the states that seceded from the Union. You have plenty in border states fighting for the Union, in Union states, and states that in 1861 were mere territories. One particular example is Kentucky whose government didn’t side with the Confederacy and two thirds of Kentuckians fought for the Union. But you wouldn’t know that from a state swamped in Confederate monuments. And one of these has to be a 35-story obelisk at Jefferson Davis’s birthplace in Fairview. In Arizona, the oldest Confederate Memorial was dedicated in 1943 while the newest went up in 2010. Of course, they were erected by the thousands of white Southerners who moved there and took their fondness for intimidating blacks with them. In Helena, Montana, a Confederate Memorial Fountain has sat in its Hill Park since 1916 which author James W. Loewen said, “tells that the Confederacy should be revered even as far north as Montana.” You might wonder why there are Confederate monuments outside the former Confederacy since they seem to no reason to exist there. But when you figure that segregation wasn’t just restricted to the South but stretched across a nation more concerned about unity in the face of foreign threats than rights for black people, it makes a lot more sense.

Nevertheless, these enduring tributes to white supremacy and black enslavement still stand in a nation that hasn’t moved past America’s original sin and has refused to address racism’s pernicious and ubiquitous nature. To say that these Confederate monuments only as New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu has said, “immediately begs the questions, why there are no slave ship monuments, no prominent markers on public land to remember the lynchings or the slave blocks. But as the immense presence of Confederate monuments and symbols show there’s a lot of love for the losing side of an unjust cause. There should be nothing but condemnation and dishonor for those who seceded from the Union and fought for the privilege of keeping black people under involuntary servitude. Removing Confederate symbols and monuments will not erase history nor does it denigrate anyone’s Southern heritage. But the effort to topple them is about more than symbolism. Rather it’s about starting a conversation about a community’s shared values and beliefs along with our understanding as a nation. It’s about acknowledging, understanding, and reconcile past injustices as we address those of today. And lastly, it’s about us as a people being able to choose a better future for ourselves and make right what was wrong. Our historical monuments not only depict our history but also enshrine value we choose to promote. As a nation founded on the principles of liberty, equality and democracy, these Confederate monuments stand to extol values anathema to such ideas. Confederate monuments don’t belong on a pedestal in a public space. So it’s long past time to take them down.

The Funerary World of Coffins

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 21, 2017

st_johns_norway_04

It is often said that funerals are more meant for the living than the deceased since it involves saying goodbye to a loved one. Of course, this year, I had to attend my grandfather’s funeral on the week of my birthday back in January. Now while it’s hard to deal with his loss for me and anyone else in my family, his death wasn’t much of a shock since he was 89 years old. Nevertheless, funerals are often big business since death is an inevitable part of the human existence. I mean sooner or later we’re all going to die. So we might as well get used to it. Funerals are a ritual in which we celebrate a recently dead person’s life before we send them on their way to the great beyond. Oftentimes this would involve embalming the person’s body and sticking them in a ludicrously expensive box known as a casket or coffin. For the next few days that body is on display for a viewing until just before the funeral in which they’re often shipped away to a place of worship and later the cemetery and six feet under. Normally a coffin is a long rectangular (or hexagonal) wooden (or metal) box which often contains a cloth liner and a pillow. Yet, there are some custom coffins out there which can be a little creative, which is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy coffins you’ll probably never see at anyone’s funeral. Enjoy.

If your late nana always wanted to take a cruise but couldn’t, you might want to bury her in this.

There is a place in Ghana where they make custom made coffins like this. I guess this is for someone who worked on a cruise ship.

2. With a coffin like this, your dead pilot can reach the heavens in no time.

So what if it doesn’t actually fly. It’s just perfect for that one co-pilot on a flight to that great destination in the sky.

3. For a departed ballerina, a slipper casket will do.

Might be for Nina from Black Swan after she fatally stabbed herself. But it’s more likely for a dance teacher or choreographer.

4. Seems like John was a snooker man.

Because the balls here are all one color. Had he played pool, he would’ve been in more trouble a lot earlier.

5. Looks like this casket is bent over.

It’s actually a sitting coffin designed by surrealist Rene Magritte. You know him for his freaky paintings with the guy’s head behind an apple.

6. If you’re in a casket like this, it’s always hammer time.

That or it’s a perfect sendoff for a someone who was a real tool. Still, you don’t want to nail it in too hard.

7. Now this is a perfect send off for a real mother hen.

This is weird looking chicken. But I guess the deceased was a farmer. Though you can’t count them until they hatch.

8. This pink fish coffin is designed for those who let the big one get away.

Well, I guess there are pink fish in Africa. Still, talk about a fish out of water.

9. Of course, these coffins can give you the “fun” in funeral.

These one stand up and have faces on them. Not sure if they help ease the grieving process.

10. Your Uncle Stan may not be able to take his hot rod with him, but this is the next best thing.

I guess this casket didn’t come cheap. Then again, none of these do.

11. I’m guessing this was custom made for a woman.

Because it has boobs on it. Still, women have been buried in regular caskets for like ever.

12. For a funeral in Aspen, may I recommend an Alpine sendoff.

Well, this doesn’t seem too expensive. Just put the corpse in a bag and tie them to a sled with skis.

13. Now poor Charlie is literally in the jaws of death.

Yes, this is a shark coffin. I know what you’re thinking. But come on, I had to include one of these on my post.

14. Seems like this casket is someone’s key for the afterlife.

Though you’d be press to find a door it can unlock. Yet, it’s quite clever and simpler than some of the other designs.

15. A fancy car coffin should send you to that high end club in the sky.

Yes, there are coffins of cars, too. And this one’s windows are lined to give the dead person privacy.

16. There’s nothing like one last smoke before final departure.

Ever want to guess what killed this person. I think I have an idea. I mean it’s shaped like a cigarette so it’s practically obvious.

17. Before you go to the great beyond, remember to give us a call.

Turns out this Blackberry coffin has its own cover. Though the deceased is never calling back.

18. You’d find this casket rather reflective.

Well, it’s made from mirrors. Then again, light might bounce off of it if it’s a particularly sunny day.

19. How about be buried in a fancy eco-coffin?

These are cardboard coffins that disintegrate with the corpse over time. And they come in a variety of patterns.

20. If you’re on the highway to hell, why not have flames on your casket?

Yes, it certainly looks badass. Yet, you’d have to wonder who’d want to be buried in this.

21. Seems like fins are sticking out.

Actually the shark fins are part of the casket. Gives a more badass touch so to speak.

22. A Nintendo fan wouldn’t leave without their controls.

Sure the controls won’t work. But that doesn’t matter where this guy’s going.

23. He always wanted to go out with a bang.

Let’s hope that whatever this coffin looks like didn’t get him there. Because we all know what guns do to people.

24. How about you take your final trip in a convertible?

Well, you may not be able to get dates in it. Unless they happen to be among the choirs of angels.

25. You can say Brad lit up everyone’s lives.

That or he was a renowned electrician. Then again, even electricians will eventually burn out.

26. This eagle casket will certainly send your loved one soaring.

I have to admit, it has really nice feathers. Still, it’s more of a totem figure than anything.

27. For this deceased, it’s all 7s.

I guess this guy never had this much luck at a slot machine. Because no one ever does.

28. I guess who’s ever in there was a real basket case.

This is a wicker coffin and yes, it’s said to be eco friendly. Wonder if the Israelites put a dead Moses in one and sent him down the river. Oh, wait, they were in the desert. But it would’ve been an appropriate funeral for him.

29. If you’re in this coffin, chances are you’ll meet the Doctor at another time.

Well, I’m sure Doctor Who fans would want to be buried in this. Hope they don’t run into any Daleks along the way.

30. Your loved one will be camping forever in this one.

After all, people did camp in such trailers back in the day. And the windows have striped curtains.

31. Guess this woman is doing a solo on someone’s casket.

Well, it’s shaped like a large guitar. Yet, it’s a perfect sendoff for any well-known rock star.

32. Perhaps you might want a perfect picture of the afterlife.

This is a Canon. I’m sure it doesn’t work. But it certainly looks state of the art.

33. Send off your dead loved one in a casket of luxury.

By the way, this is what Michael Jackson’s coffin looked like. I’m sure it didn’t come cheap.

34. A boat motor coffin is perfect for whatever floats your boat.

Why a motor? Doesn’t make sense to me. Also does it float when you put it on the water?

35. A glass coffin always makes death transparent.

For some reason, I find the glass coffin idea kind of creepy. Must be due to Snow White, I guess.

36. If you want to make a statement, get buried in neon.

Now that’s my kind of coffin. Love the metallic stripes on it. So pretty.

37. Seems like a late DJ can drop a few beats.

Yet, I’m sure the club in the sky will have a very good selection. In fact, many of the musicians themselves are there.

38. Who’s said that a coffin should fit one when this fits 3?

There’s actually a sad story behind this one. So I won’t recall it. But yes, these do exist.

39. If you want a custom made coffin, this seems like a good fit.

Seems more like a containment chamber than a coffer. But hey, to each his own.

40. With this coffin, you can play video games for all eternity.

I’m sure plenty of people would want that. Yet, how can you play video games if you’re dead?

41. Instead of just a box, how about add a box kite?

After all, death should be a time when one should fly. Because death is always forever.

42. Perhaps it’s best to bury him the way they found him.

I guess they have a crime scene coffin, too. Not sure if that’s right. But it looks pretty funny.

43. For those who love beer, it’s an honor to be buried in a Pabst blue label.

Hope this person didn’t die from liver cirrhosis. Because alcoholism is a major problem right now.

44. This coffin was made for a real NASCAR sendoff.

Yet, if you want the real thing, make sure it crashes and burns into another coffin just like it. Not sure if that’s possible though.

45. This Twix coffin was built for 2.

Because Twix come in packs of 2. Hope you can get the picture here.

46. Lie in this coffin and nobody will forget you.

This is another Ghana coffin. Notice that it’s more in a traditional style.

47. You’d almost think this coffin was somebody’s dream house.

Well, sort of. But it certainly has a nice roof and porch to it. Love it.

48. This guy must’ve been a real monkey wrench back in his day.

Well, at least that one was easier to make than the hammer. But I wonder how you’d bury it.

49. Nothing makes a great send off than lying in a flamboyant lizard.

Well, if you can’t get buried in a dinosaur, then this must be the next best thing. But it’s still pretty cool.

50. Now this is how you pay tribute to an American hero.

Too bad the military just sticks with regular wooden coffins and draped flags. This seems more appropriate.

51. A dead piano player has to lie in this classy coffin.

This one even has keys on the side. Sure they don’t work, but it’s quite grand.

52. Looks like this coffin has received a lot of signage.

Though signing one’s casket isn’t usually a funerary tradition. Then again, to each his own.

53. An ocean lover would certainly would like to lie in this squid.

Then again, they’s probably prefer fish. But this seems like it can float one’s boat.

54. How about the porcelain treatment?

It’s just a wooden box with porcelain designs. Seems more appropriate for a china closet than 6 feet under.

55. This Nikon coffin is very state of the art.

Even resembles a real camera. May not take pretty pictures. But doesn’t look half bad.

56. Any last concessions?

I mean it’s a concession stand casket. But Quaker is the only brand I recognize.

57. How about a call back with this Nokia coffin?

This one even has a video screen. And I also hear it’s rather indestructible, too.

58. Ever wish you can be buried in your yacht? Now you can.

Well, sort of. Doesn’t quite resemble a yacht. But it’ll probably cost you an arm and a leg.

59. Bet you’re sure where this train car is going to take you.

Well, it more or less resembles a passenger car, not an engine. Because I couldn’t find the train engine. But this works.

60. Wonder how well this coffins projects this person’s life.

Then again, it seems this person worked at a movie theater. Though the reels don’t have film.

61. Seems like the fine wine has gone to vinegar in this casket.

Still, it’s kind of strange to have a bottle in the cask. Like the guy is a bottle.

62. He who’s buried in the remote controls all.

And this is for a Philips DVD player. All right, but you can’t push the buttons.

63. If you can’t be buried in your luxury ride, this luxury coffin will do.

Sure it might be real nice on the inside. But the only trip this thing will take you is 6 feet under.

64. Never thought you could be buried in a vise.

After all, a vise isn’t among the cool tools out there. Still, I wonder if it has any adjustments.

65. Wouldn’t necessarily call it a walkman. More like a lie-man.

Well, it’s in the shape of a walkman which people haven’t used for years. It’s kind of like an obsolete mp3 player.

66. Imagine yourself lying dead inside this scary lobster.

Well, that’s a gruesome lobster coffin. Definitely don’t want to be buried in that.

67. You’ll probably burn being buried in a red hot chili pepper.

You’d think this place in Ghana would make coffins of just about anything. Not surprised by this.

68. If you’re holy, you’d might want a coffin of biblical proportions.

Even has gold leaf on the pages and title. Just like a Bible should. But you’ll only find a body in this one.

69. In this coffin, you can write your own eternity.

Heard they have one that’s specifically for her. As if women haven’t been using these for decades.

70. Perhaps you might opt for a Venetian sendoff.

Because in Venice, they travel through canal boats since a lot of their streets are waterways. Though don’t ask for a gondola to sing for you there.

71. I guess this guy lying here was a bit of an old timer.

After all, it’s the kind of car you’d see on Downton Abbey. Still, whoever’s in that coffin better be old.

72. This gives a whole new meaning to “one foot in the grave.”

And it seems to be a Nike sneaker in this case. Even has its own laces.

73. The iDie brings the latest in funerary technology.

Something tells me that Steve Jobs was buried in this. I mean he invented the thing.

74. Now this coffin appears as pretty as a peacock.

Well, it certainly has a vivid feather train. And the man who made it is very proud of himself.

75. This turtle coffin takes the slow course to the cemetery.

Though you have to admire the shell shades on this one. Colors really go together.

76. How about a beer coffin by the bottle?

Guess this is a Ghana brand. Yet, “Club Beer” is hardly an original name if you ask me.

77. This coffin seems to have money all over it.

Guess this will be Donald Trump’s coffin when he dies. Because money seems to be among the few things that matter to him.

78. Uh, isn’t that bag a bit too large for carry-on luggage.

Caption: “Student Kirsten stands next to a coffin looking like a travel bag in a museum in Kassel, central Germany, Thursday, June 9, 2005. The exhibition called “crazy coffins” contains 16 different coffins and is open from June 9 to September 4.”

79. You’ve heard of rolling in Benjamins. How about lying in them?

Yes, this coffin is a stack of money. Only meant for the 1% who basically take it from the rest of us day in and day out.

80. A fallen deer hunter should always receive this special treatment.

Bet my neighbors will get a kick out of this. It even includes camo coffin liner.

81. May you lie in your final resting spot well grilled to perfection.

Now this’ll make your next summer barbeque an awkward experience. But I think it’s quite amusing.

82. Sometimes one might want to go with a more concept coffin design.

Basically it says that one’s deceased loved one was basically like leftover restaurant food. Come on, that totally is styrofoam.

83. Even in death you should always put your best foot forward.

This one is a more manly shoe. And it has been shine you can see yourself in it.

84. Hop aboard this plane for great luxury seating arrangements.

Too bad it only sits one. But at least the pink lining goes with the blue paint.

85. Perhaps you shouldn’t mind lying exposed sometimes.

Not sure why they have a coffin like this. Still, you can open it behind the boobs.

86. A dead fisherman should be sent off in this big beauty.

Yes, it’s my third fish coffin on this post. And yes, it’s pink. But it a white stripe on its belly.

87. How’d you like to be in this bottle of Coca Cola?

It even stands up on its own, too. Anyway, wouldn’t want to be in there.

88. This Hello Kitty coffin is a rather girly delight.

Actually it’s kind of creepy. I mean Hello Kitty is for little girls. Little girls stuff shouldn’t be on coffins.

89. For a majestic soul, you might want to lie in this lion coffin.

This one seems to take a lot of craftsmanship. Check out the detail on that mane.

90. This coffin was brought to you by Ghana Air.

Yes, I had to include this one. Because that’s where a lot of these outrageous coffins were made.

91. If you’re in Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, try this coffin for size.

Bob must’ve been a die hard Beatles fan to be buried in this coffin. Yet, 2 of the guys on the side are still alive.

92. With this Viking boat coffin, you can give your loved one a send off fit for a warrior.

Just make sure you set it on fire as you set it on the water. Because that’s what happens at a Viking funeral.

93. How’d you like to be buried in a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Bet that would be fine with people who’d eventually die from Jack Daniels. Like Frank Sinatra for instance.

94. Well, since your funeral is a final sendoff, you might as well go with this.

Sure it depicts Da Vinci’s Last Supper. But c’mon, it’s a Renaissance masterpiece for God’s sake.

95. May this Tupperware coffin always keep your remains fresh.

After all, Hannibal Lecter has given these good reviews on Amazon. Okay, I’m getting a little too weird here.

96. This Panasonic coffin can always capture the moment.

Well, it would certainly give you a moment you’d remember. Because most coffins aren’t shaped like cameras at all.

97. Be buried in a way that’s fitting to any Starfleet officer.

Notice that it’s yellow for a command officer. Because redshirt bodies are normally left behind on the planet.

98. Seems like someone was murdered in here.

Actually that’s part of the casket. I know someone has a very sick sense of humor.

99. Seems like this nurse has had her last shot.

And they’re apparently burying her in a hypodermic needle. Quite fitting if you ask me.

100. You can easily sit on this casket if you want to.

It’s made to resemble a bench. Even has a leather lid you can sit on. Imagine that.

The Spouting World of Water Fountains

Posted by historymaniacmegan on May 19, 2017

27d61b4c570fc2928c06a1d5da12e5fd

Whether in a scenic garden, a street, or a public park, you’re bound to find fountains spouting jets of water into the air during the spring and summer months. Though you may often see them as fancy water jets for people to look at and throw pennies in, they originally used for providing water from springs, reservoirs, mountain rivers, and aqueducts to cities, towns, and villages before the days of indoor plumbing. And until the late 19th century, most fountains were operated by gravity and needed a source of water from higher ground. But many also used siphoning to make water spout, too. Though we often think fountains were invented in Ancient Rome along with the aqueduct, both technologies actually come from the Greeks. Ancient Greek fountains were mainly made from stone or marble with water flowing through bronze pipes and emerging from the mouth of a sculpted mask representing a lion’s head or an animal’s muzzle. The most famous fountain in Ancient Greece was the Enneacrounos in Athens’ Agora which had 9 large spouts. But even that isn’t as impressive as the fountains of ancient Rome that contained decorations of bronze or stone masks of animals or heroes. Medieval Islamic as well as European Renaissance and Baroque fountains are often held as artistic masterpieces. Nevertheless, since we now have indoor plumbing, most fountains are now seen as decoration. Well, save for the occasional drinking fountain. Now since they tend to be popular in gardens, you can find many of them sold at any home improvement or garden store. And they come in all different, shapes, sizes, and forms. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of water fountains to delight in.

You can always make water spout through pipes.

Sure this mostly consist of pipe from the gutter drain. But it certainly works.

2. Even a miniature garden can use its own fountain.

Not sure if a mini garden fountain is quite right. Yet, I can see why someone would want one.

3. A small indoor fountain can bring some watery joy.

Helps if it has a colorful seahorse, coral, and golden shells. Then again, I kind of consider fountains more of an outdoor thing.

4. Sometimes a hollow stone column, a basin, and a metal spout is all you need.

Well, it doesn’t look like much. But it certainly goes with the garden scenery.

5. A watering can makes a wonderful fountain spout.

Well, that’s pretty inventive. Doesn’t hurt to put plants in it either.

6. What do you mean water can spring up from rocks?

This is a more naturalistic fountain for gardens. And yes, you barely notice it except for the water spouting at the top.

7. Even a small ceramic fountain is no less impressive.

Yes, it’s a rather small structure. But its deep blue color will certainly make an impression.

8. With copper pipes and water jets, you can make the water flow anywhere.

This one is shaped in a wheel with holes in the pipes. So the water can trickle down exactly where it’s supposed to.

9. You can go as high as you want with buckets and a watering can.

Yes, you’ll find quite a few DIY varieties on here like this one. Yet, this fountain has a certain kind of charm.

10. In this fountain, it takes a long time for the water to flow down.

This one appears to be made of copper from what I can tell. And are those things shaped like leaves?

11. Though most fountains are made of stone and marble, a tree stump one is always close to nature.

This one is even made with tiers still containing the bark. Great for any rustic garden.

12. Even a simple design can do the trick.

This one just consists of a stone bowl and a small jet. It’s not fancy but it will do.

13. With this fountain, you’ll find water flowing down all the steps.

This one is best suited for a wall as you can see. But it will surely go well with wooden fencing.

14. A mosaic fountain should always boast magnificent tiling.

After all, who doesn’t go for colorful decorations now and then? Love the brilliant blue.

15. A stone basin can sometimes be a lasting feature.

Here’s another mosaic fountain with blue tiling. Yet, this one also has lovely white edging and a stone basin tricking water down once it’s full.

16. A bowl and pitcher can be just as nice.

Even helps if both are intricately decorated. As long as you have the pitcher pouring into the bowl.

17. The larger the water receptacle the better.

This one uses a large stone jar that’s against a stone wall. Perfect for a garden, though I wouldn’t drink the water in it.

18. Sometimes an old bathtub can make the perfect fountain pond.

Well, that’s pretty ingenious. Just put the jet in with a bunch of rocks and you’re done.

19. With a box fountain, you sometimes need to cut corners.

Because if you don’t, where could the water flow like this? Well, it can overflow but that would make a mess.

20. When you have a pump, expect water to flow from buckets.

This one uses 3 buckets and a faucet. Certainly an interesting fountain to see.

21. A long thick log of bamboo is great for making a water wall.

A water wall is a certain type of fountain that has water flowing from the top down like a waterfall. Pretty simple explanation, really.

22. Speaking of water walls, check this one out of a Japanese arch.

This one is made from wood in the Japanese arch style. But it still has water trickling down from it.

23. Sometimes a large stone water jar is all you need.

This fountain has a stone jar tipped to have water spilling over the rocks. Fairly simple concept to apply.

24. Got some old tubas? Make a fountain out of them.

Hey, if the old Sousaphones don’t work, you might as well. Since you can surely have water flowing in them.

25. For a simple but modernist concept, try a fountain of raised metal bowls.

Sure it might not look like much without the water. But it spouts where it should and creates a couple waterfalls, too.

26. Since fountains are water fixtures, I’d say a dolphin motif seems appropriate.

I guess this one is made for indoors or a courtyard. But since everyone likes dolphins, I’ll put it on this post.

27. With 3 large stone jars, who knows what fountain you’d have.

These jars are of all different shapes, sizes, and colors, too. Great to have in any garden.

28. If you want the water to flow somewhere, a trough of brick should do the trick.

Yes, that’s a fountain. And yes, it takes a lot of room. But it’s not too fancy and has a stone basin at the end.

29. Sometimes 3 rock fountains can be better than one.

This one consists of rocks of different shapes and sizes. Wonderful centerpiece for any rock garden.

30. No fountain can be nearly as impressive as one with 3 bronze horses.

And it has water spouting from all their mouths. Yes, they look majestic, but I’m not sure about the spouting part. Well, to each his own.

31. Sometimes a water fountain can leave room for flowers.

This one even has a place for water to fall in a rocky stream. Nevertheless, you can’t help but love it.

32. This fountain head is nothing short of angelic.

This is an impressive bronze fountain that’s probably seen in a park. Yet, it’s nowhere near the ones you’d see in Italy or France.

33. A rocky waterfall always gives a naturalistic charm.

Yes, it almost seems like water is flowing from the ruins. And yet, it’s perfect for a scenic garden that’s most likely near a mansion.

34. A mosaic fountain should always be tiled to impress.

This one even has a white border and a lion’s head. Love the floral design.

35. There’s nothing better than a fountain attached to an urn for flowers.

This might be from some French chateau. Yet, it certainly goes well with the landscape.

36. A wooden bucket and pump fountain is never complete without a washboard.

Well, it certainly has a rustic feel to it. Yet, you don’t need to prime the pump to get any water in this one.

37. A modern black fountain has a certain kind of elegance.

Though I wouldn’t say it goes with a wall of flowers. But you have to like having its spouts together.

38. You can’t have too many teapots with this fountain.

Seems to me this is for an Alice in Wonderland garden. Still, at least it’s original and clever.

39. This stone arch fountain almost resembles ancient ruins.

Though I’m not sure if an arch would have a stone bridge within it. Yet, I understand it works with the waterfall.

40. With enough metal teapots, you can fill a whole cup.

This one even has string holding the pots up. Not sure how that works. But I like it.

41. A square flat fountain can always please.

Well, it’s great among rocks. Love the water coming out of it. So pretty.

42. For a more Southwest feel, this fountain of ceramic pottery is just for you.

Well, large ceramic pottery, anyway. Still, the stand is totally supposed to resemble adobe.

43. A stone enclosed waterfall is always a wondrous sight of beauty.

Almost thought it was from Maymont at first. But then I realized the Maymont one had lions on it. Still, love it.

44. A large fountain should always have a bowl overflowing.

Guess this is supposed to be for a courtyard. Love the blue and purple tiles.

45. How about a fountain with a large wagon wheel?

Not sure if the wheel turns. But I guarantee there’s water coming out of it.

46. Who knows what you can come up with when you have a bunch of empty bottles?

Though only 3 of these spout water. The rest have their bottoms facing.

47. This stone fountain has 4 metal spouts coming from it.

Well, it may be rather plain to some. But I do like how it has a basin to go with the pavement.

48. A metal garden bicycle can fit all kinds of pots.

Well, this is an interesting concept. This one has a pottery pitcher pouring into multiple pots. And a flower pot in the front, too.

49. No fountain is as whimsical is a ferris wheel of buckets.

I know some people might think it strange. But it’s from Pinterest. Of course, you’d probably not see that at a garden store.

50. Glass bowls make great fountain tiers.

Well, whatever works I guess. Though I do love the artistry on this one. So pretty.

51. A blue mosaic fountain almost appears heavenly.

It even has water coming out of the sun which is kind of weird. But it’s nevertheless impressive.

52. Put a wheelbarrow near a pump and watch the water flow.

Helps if the wheelbarrow is quite rusty. And the receptacle is a rock edged pond.

53. When you pour a jar, you can make a waterfall.

Well, if you have something to constantly put the water in the jar first. But it goes well with the plants.

54. Sometimes inspiration can come in the strangest manifestations.

This one has bottles in a bucket like champagne or beer on ice. Yet, instead of ice or alcohol, it’s water.

55. Sometimes you can do with 3 spouts on a wall.

This one must be in the Spanish mission style. Simplistic yet with a certain elegance.

56. When you pour the kettle, water comes out for the flowers.

Sure the kettle is rusty. But at least pouring it in a large bucket makes does wonders. Love it.

57. From this fountain, the water almost resembles sails.

Yes, it’s certainly meant to impress. And it even has a boat bottom to go with it.

58. With the right stonework, a fountain can always have a serene water way.

Well, the fountain is far off in the back in this picture. But it surely appears pleasant as the water flows to the basin.

59. Presenting the vortex fountain.

It’s basically a fountain that creates a whirlpool. And yes, it looks pretty cool.

60. On a mosaic fountain, you can never have enough water jets.

Sure this looks incredibly expensive. But I’m sure many rich people have something like this in their gardens by now.

61. Female nudes appear in all kinds of art and fountains are no exception.

And I guess there’s water spraying from her nipples. Wonder what kind of garden this is supposed to be for.

62. A marble fountain should always have a black sphere on top.

Yet, it sure seems perfect in a courtyard setting. Still, think it’s quite spectacular.

63. What comes in one watering can, comes out in another.

This is more suited for steps. Yet, it certainly has a whimsical touch.

64. You’d almost be stumped to miss this fountain.

And as you can see, it’s within a stump. Helps if you have plants growing around it.

65. Sometimes a small black fountain is in simple elegance.

Well, it’s in an oval shape with a square receptacle. So classy.

66. A Moorish garden is always a spectacular sight.

This is from a botanical garden in Missouri. But yes, it’s in the Moorish style that’s supposed to be close to paradise.

67. Why stick with one waterfall when you can have 3?

Well, seems like the kind of fountain for a patio. Yet, you can’t hate this one.

68. A spherical spout is almost out of this world.

Now that’s interesting. Not necessarily my taste. But unique enough for this post.

69. Best to put some gravel if you have a stone waterfall.

Yes, I know it’s a compact waterfall for a patio. But it’s amazing to see nonetheless.

70. A fountain at a corner patio can always impress.

Still, I’m sure this one doesn’t come cheap. But it sure looks pretty cool.

71. For an old cabin look, a wooden fountain will surely do.

Sure it might somewhat resemble a Jacuzzi. Well, if it weren’t for the jet spout.

72. A wall fountain can be so much simpler if you have bamboo.

Sure bamboo may be cheap. But for some reason I don’t imagine ancient China or Japan having water fountains. Well, at least ones appear like those we’re used to.

73. Sometimes it’s best to go with nature when it comes to waterfalls.

Well, that certainly looks almost naturalistic. Quite lovely if you can get my drift.

74. For a more rustic fountain, a pump and 3 wooden buckets should do.

Well, it’s certainly quite unique to put on this post. Nevertheless, the buckets always overflow.

75. A flowery fountain has water coming from the petals.

Well, when you’re doing a fountain post, you have to go with some unusual examples. This surely takes the cake. Yet, you have to admire it.

76. A colonnade is a fine addition to surround a fountain.

This is from a park in Houston. And though it’s not fancy, it’s surely spectacular.

77. A small fountain in a patio works best when stacked with stone.

After all, everyone has to adore a water jet in a small pool. Stunning to say the least.

78. Well, everything seems square on this fountain.

This one is made from concrete. Not fancy, but not bad.

79. Sometimes concrete and stone have a simple magnificence to them.

This one’s title has the words, “affordable simple design.” Yet, it’s probably the case if your net worth is over $2 million and you run a casino.

80. You can always create wonders with enough stone fountains together.

For some reason, they remind me of steaming rocks. Yet, it’s a lovely garden addition.

81. A mosaic fountain can always use a vase.

This one has a blue one with arms. Also like how the tile is painted. Beautiful.

82. A stone ship should always have a water wheel.

So when the dragon spurts out water, the wheel turns. And it seems like it spilled some from what I could tell from the wet spot.

83. Peacocks look especially grand on a tile fountain.

After all, there’s almost no bird as pretty and with a long feathery train. Love the flowers, too.

84. This fountain boasts a real carnival of animals.

I guess this is for a zoo in California. But you have to admire the animal art on it.

85. This angel fountain boasts a wall of water.

This is a lovely structure. Love how each wing has water raining down.

86. A brick fountain always has a sold foundation.

Of course, it’s not graceful like some of the other fountains here. But it’s certainly interesting to look at.

87. A brick waterfall should always enchant.

Have to admire the brick work on this. Also has a gravel pool for the water.

88. Sometimes you can find a fountain in the most interesting formation.

Not sure what shape it’s supposed to be on the top. But you have to admire the waterfalls.

89. Never thought you’d see water coming out a glass sphere.

The glass ball fountain is supposed to be of a unique design. Not sure if I can understand the concept.

90. A Gothic fountain can always impress in the garden.

Well, it’s more like Gothic Revival. And more suited for old cathedral courtyards than anything.

91. You can’t take the Earth for granted in this fountain.

After all, there’s no other planet like it that we know of. Nevertheless, it’s quite lovely.

92. Didn’t know there were any adobe fountains out there.

Actually, it’s not made from adobe. But it depicts an Pueblo Indian scene as far as I can tell.

93. As water flows, this fountain ignite flames in no time.

Guess you need fire to make a fountain more spectacular. As if water doesn’t accomplish that already.

94. You’d almost swear the water’s coming from the sky.

I know it seems hard to wrap your head around. But there must be a device that makes the water come out from the floating faucet.

95. Things are getting grassy with this fountain.

Well, it’s a grass ball fountain. Makes sure you trim it once in a while though.

96. A dragon fountain is always a splendid sight.

This is from China, by the way. Though you’d probably already guessed that. Yes, it’s a magnificent dragon.

97. A hurricane eye fountain always flows water in a spiral.

It’s meant for a patio, especially one with stone pavement. Yet, it’s quite sublime.

98. It takes a broken large pot with some little ones to really make a splash.

Another fountain in the Southwest patio style. But this one is quite colorful to behold.

99. Here we come to a Japanese scene with its own water wheel.

Yes, it’s a fountain with a small picturesque scene. But you can’t help but love it.

100. It always rains a rainbow with a fountain wall of lights.

Well, at least at night, anyway. But the water and colors are simply spectacular.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

harbin-ice-snow-festival

Now we’re on to ice sculpture which many of you are probably more familiar with than snow sculpture. Since ice sculpture is used for a lot of things like winter celebrations and weddings. And the sculptures usually tend to be smaller at any rate and usually last longer than their snow counterparts. But if you want to make a gigantic ice palace, make sure you don’t do it in Florida because it won’t last there at all. But though this is the Christmas season, there are plenty of festivals for snow and ice sculpting in January and February. One of the biggest is in China’s International Snow and Ice festival that’s held in Harbin which show some of the most lovely pieces of winter art from all over the world. And from what you see above, this could be easily seen as the ice equivalent to Las Vegas though I think it’s much more beautiful than that. Still, I had plenty of ice sculpture pics left over after doing a post two years ago. So I plan to do one again. Thus, for your reading pleasure this winter, I give you another treasury of ice sculpture.

Nudes are always a popular subject especially on ice.

Remember, parents, if a nude statue looks like this, it’s probably safe for the kids. Since it’s probably copied from something you see in an art museum.

2. There’s nothing more noble than a knight on the ice.

Doesn’t hurt if he’s lit up in green. Nevertheless, wonder if he’s the green knight from Arthurian legend.

3. A graceful peacock stands with utmost decorum on his perch.

Of course, he doesn’t seem too showy about his feathers. Because he doesn’t need to brag how awesome they are.

4. Looks like we come across a fierce dragon rider battle.

Think of this scene as something you’d see from How to Train Your Dragon if it was rated R. Yeah, you’d totally see something like this in it if it was.

5. A Christmas tree can always dazzle in white ice.

And this one certainly seems to be for a Christmas celebration. You have to admire the craftsmanship here.

6. This ice couple surely seems to be in the Christmas spirit.

Though they kind of look Russian to me. Love the ice tree though.

7. Here we come to a cougar on a ledge.

This one could easily be used for my high school reunion. Not that I would care. Nevertheless, I think it’s quite lovely.

8. An ice coach always shines quite well in a pink light.

Sure it’s not quite Cinderella. But it’s certainly not too bad. In fact, it’s quite fancy.

9. The light is always bright on this dancing ice princess.

Unfortunately, it’s probably not Anna or Elsa from Frozen either. Still, she’s beautiful nevertheless.

10. Perhaps we can have this grasshopper just hop right in.

Yes, they do have ice sculptures for insects. Though it’s not what many people would want at their weddings.

11. Here you come to a peacock with his feathery display in all his glory.

Helps that he has blue and green lights shining on him. Love the detail, too.

12. The New York City skyline doesn’t get more glimmering than this.

Yes, it’s a beautiful beacon as you can see. And here we have the Empire State Building standing out.

13. Wonder what he’ll find while looking through his telescope.

Think this is supposed to be Galileo looking through his telescope. Love how it’s lit in bright colors.

14. An ice angel always flies gracefully.

Well, certainly looks great transparent anyway. Love the detail on the wings.

15. A wedding ice sculpture should always look festive.

Like I said, you see a lot of these are often used in weddings. This is probably true if both bride and groom are members of the Polar Bear Club.

16. It’s always nice to hear a bluebird sing.

I think this one is from some Japanese folktale. But I think it’s quite beautiful.

17. Cupid is always an agent of love with his bow and arrow.

Of course, in Greek myths he looks nothing like this. But people have him depict this way just because the little baby angel motif is cute.

18. The great bear and St. Basil’s are always symbols of pride for Russia.

However, they’re also known for hacking other countries’ elections and the despotism of Vladimir Putin. It’s a pretty unfortunate case.

19. Looks like this chainsaw sculpture is of a chainsaw.

Now that’s kind of redundant. I mean who does a chainsaw sculpture of a chainsaw?

20. There’s nothing better on Christmas than a sleigh on ice.

Well, it’s surely one to inspire Christmas cheer. But one that’s not great for presents.

21. A Native American hunter always carries a bow and arrows.

And she seems quite dangerous to some animals in the forest. Still, very stunning, I’ll say.

22. The mighty moose is a rather humble creature.

And nothing’s more iconic than a male moose with his large antlers. Hope it never crosses your path when you’re driving.

23. There’s nothing more vain than an Asian dragon.

Well, Asian dragons aren’t like the European ones. But this is quite remarkable to behold when it’s against the light.

24. Ariel on ice is sure to bring you under the sea.

This is obviously from The Little Mermaid. Mostly because Ariel has red hair like this statue.

25. Fans of Frozen may enjoy this ice sculpture of Kristoff and Sven.

Well, this is the one from Frozen I actually have. And I think it’s a good likeness.

26. This ice leopard carries brilliant blue spots.

And what brilliant spots this leopard has indeed. Still, why blue? I would’ve thought orange or yellow would be better.

27. If you have a more biblical taste, here is an ice sculpture of Jonah and the big fish.

It’s more than likely that Jonah was swallowed by a whale not a big fish. But I have to admit, this looks pretty awesome.

28. Under the sea, a mermaid finds a mysterious pearl.

Well, this is a lovely mermaid scene. Not sure why it should be in ice though.

29. An ice nativity scene will make your Christmas a true holy night.

This one has all the touches as you can see. Love how the light shines upon the figures. Beautiful.

30. Nothing can be stunning like an ice flock of geese at your path.

Well, this is surely a sight to behold. love the detail on the geese. Lovely.

31. A large frozen snowflake is always a beautiful sight.

Great for any winter party you might attend. Love how the light shines upon it.

32. Now this Cinderella ice sculpture seems straight from a fairy tale.

Here we have the prince presenting her with the glass slipper. As to why they remained after the ball while nothing else did, I have no idea.

33. An angel at a harp is always a heavenly sight to see even in green.

Yes, you see a lot of angels in ice sculpture. Maybe it has something to do with Christmas.

34. A winged archer is ever stellar when immortalized in ice.

Now this is what Cupid, I mean Eros looks more like in Greek mythology. I know people might be pleasantly surprised.

35. It’s always a lovely sight to see two seahorses bonding together.

Of course, this consists of the female seahorse leaving her eggs in the male and leaving him holding the bag. We’re pretty sure it’s because producing the eggs is exhausting for her.

36. There’s nothing better suited for ice than crystals.

After all, ice crystals also sparkle when you put a light to them. Love this.

37. Spider Man fans would be pleased with their favorite web slinger on ice.

And this resulted in fewer injuries than in the Broadway production. Still, this is great.

38. Seems like the water froze from that faucet.

Well, at least they put a clever spin. But freezing water from a faucet isn’t funny in real life.

39. How about the sight of an ice bird in a cage?

This is surely stunning. I mean you have to admire how someone could pull this off. It’s amazing.

40. Hope you’d like to climb aboard this polar express.

Yes, they have an ice train. And this one seems to resemble an old steam engine.

41. There’s nothing more graceful than a reindeer encased in ice.

Of course, I had to include a unicorn in this post. Since I didn’t have one in the last ice sculpture post I did. Lovely in the purple light.

42. There’s nothing more gallant than an ice stag.

Doesn’t hurt if there’s bright lights shining through it. Must be used as a Christmas decoration.

43. A frozen butterfly is a thing of beauty.

I think it would shine brighter in a darker background. But this is good enough.

44. This Star Wars ice display is squarely on the Dark Side of the Force.

Yet, it’s lit with purple light for some reason. Hope Vader stops the Emperor from gaining ultimate power.

45. You seek Yoda ice.

Excellent likeness, it is. Last it will not.

46. This seashell ice sculpture has plenty of sections.

Well, it’s very much like a shell but more translucent. Love it.

47. This ice sculpture of an owl will surely be a hoot.

Owls are always pretty neat. Love the detail on the wings.

48. Nothing makes your meal like an ice Kitchen Aide mixer.

Well, you can’t cook with this. But you have to admire how it looks in lights.

49. For Formula 1 fans, you might like to see an ice sculpture of this.

This is an ice sculpture of a Formula 1 race car. It’s a kind of auto racing that’s popular in Europe, by the way.

50. Bet you’d never see ice that’s faster than a speeding bullet.

Of course, there’s no way I could ignore an ice rendering of the Man of Steel. Yet, it might send your party crashing like in the recent movies.

51. A couple like this can only inspire love.

First, I think both of them are naked. Second, let’s just say anyone under a certain age will find out when they’re older.

52. Fans of The Lion King will adore this ice sculpture.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be Simba or Mufasa. Probably Simba since he’s the main character. Not that it matters.

53. A shuttle launch has always helped mankind reach for the stars.

Unfortunately, NASA has retired the shuttle program. However, at least space geeks could appreciate this ice statue.

54. This ice sculpture brings in the spirit of the Winter Olympics.

This was at the Alberta snow and ice festival in 2014. Vancouver had their Olympics that year.

55. A lovely harp should always have a beautiful bird on top.

Well, this is surely beautiful if you ask me. The bird is incredibly stunning.

56. A woman would have to be brave to ride on such a ferocious beast.

Not sure what kind of creature it’s supposed to be. But whatever it is, it looks awesome.

57. A porcupine ice sculpture has plenty of shiny quills.

You have to admire the craftsmanship on this. Because I’m sure getting those quills out isn’t easy to carve.

58. An ice Empire State Building never fails to impress.

Nothing says New York City like it’s most iconic building. Unless you count the Statue of Liberty.

59. An ice maiden with her own column is simply a goddess.

Then again, she’s probably a Hindu goddess from what I can tell from her features. But it’s nonetheless incredible.

60. Don’t like seahorses? How about a hippocampus?

Well, a hippocamus unicorn. It’s basically a mermaid version of a horse if you get my drift.

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

8627380114_deff540df0_z

Moving on to snow sculpture which is another seasonal art form. Yet, unlike building a snowman, building a snow sculpture in my area is almost impossible. Unless the sculpture is quite small. But that’s nothing compared to snow sculptures in other parts of the world where they host such events during the winter months. Because western PA doesn’t have the kind of weather for this. Nevertheless, I did a snow sculpture post two years ago and have plenty of pictures left over from it. Since I found a lot of examples of elaborate snow sculpture. And this was before I started using Pinterest. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of snow sculptures that will make your snowman seem tame in comparison. Hope you enjoy it on a snowy day like I have at home.

What’s better than a ship in a bottle? How about a snow ship in a snow bottle?

Not sure how much it took to make it. But it’s nonetheless incredible to see.

2. With horses like these, it’s hard to think they’re not real.

Well, they certainly blend in with the landscape. At any rate, they’re certainly stunning.

3. Seems like someone is clinging to a lamp post today.

Seems like the dog couldn’t resist following him. What’s a poor animal to do?

4. Wouldn’t you think it strange to see a dolphin on the pavement?

I would certainly say so. But this dolphin is made from snow so it’s nothing to worry about.

5. Don’t mind the farmer. He’s just milking his cow.

And it has the dogs look on. Don’t worry, he’ll get to them soon enough. Though he won’t milk them.

6. The Caped Crusader never abandons Gotham City, especially during the winter.

This Batman snow sculpture certainly looks huge. Then again, he does have an imposing presence. At least he’s not battling a shark.

7. Can’t imagine to see a polar bear at a pipe organ.

Now that looks incredibly strange. But quite fitting if it pertains to snow and winter.

8. With one piece of snow, one can carve a block of roses.

So far as they know their way around with a snow blower. At any rate, this is amazing.

9. Didn’t think a sphnix would go for a hat like that.

Of course, you'd find no such thing on a Sphnix in Egypt. So it's more of a unique artistic expression here.

Of course, you’d find no such thing on a Sphinx in Egypt. So it’s more of a unique artistic expression here.

10. Even in the cold, you can find so many animals at the zoo.

This is a zoo snow sculpture by the way. Yet, all the animals are in rich detail. So see for yourself.

11. “Well, I ain’t scared of no grizzly bear.”

That’s a good example of famous last words as far as this scene is concerned. Please tell me this is a tribute to Hugo Glass from the Revenant.

12. A wolf always stands on all legs to howl.

Well, this wolf is in a more geometric carving design. But it’s still quite a sight to be seen.

13. Bet you never saw a puffer fish like this before.

Yes, puffer fish might look adorable to look at. But don’t frighten them since they’re all covered in spikes.

14. My guess this is a scene from Moby Dick.

Because it seems to involve harpooning a whale in a book. Still, Captain Ahab is a guy you wouldn’t want to work for at all.

15. Can you take a look at these giant snow shoes?

Well, tennis shoes aren’t great for snowy weather. But these certainly take the cake in sculpture.

16. This seems to be a fitting tribute to any ice queen.

Well, an ice sculpture would be more like it. But a snow sculpture is good enough.

17. How could the lights be on in this snow car?

My guess is that they built a snow car around the car. At any rate, it’s quite creative.

18. This little snow piggie is almost impossible to resist.

You have to admire its cute little eyes and snout. Still, pigs can be quite nasty creatures if they’re in a bad mood.

19. Here we go to Snoopy relaxing in the snow.

Though he usually rests on top of his dog house. But this is quite a snow sculpture I had to put on this post.

20. Nothing seems to have grandeur during the winter like a dragon.

Yes, this is quite the magnificent dragon to behold. Just have to admire the wings. Stunning.

21. Seems like someone left behind their canoe.

Then again, it seems to resemble a kayak. And it appears Indian made in the US.

22. Hope you find yourself at a nice warm fire at this cozy cabin.

Okay, it’s made out of snow and won’t make you warm or cozy. But it has a lot of great artistic detail.

23. This shrine brings in the glory of the Olympic Games.

Since it’s said to be from the Harbin festival, my guess is it’s from 2008. When China hosted the games in Beijing that’s famous for it’s high rate of air pollution.

24. A unicorn always looks magical in the winter.

This one was made in someone’s yard. And it’s topped with an ice horn for good measure.

25. Take what you may but you have to admire Lady Liberty’s sense of humor.

Well, she can be quite the tease. Still, this is a rather amusing snow sculpture if you ask me.

26. An snow sculpture like this shows the glory of China.

I showed part of this sculpture in a post 2 years ago just for the winged horses. But yes, this is certainly for China.

27. Fat Buddha sits proudly on his snow throne.

Or is it Budai who’s often mistaken for Buddha? At any rate, you can tell it’s from an Asian nation.

28. A Japanese pagoda snow castle always shines in the night through light.

Well, it’s certainly a stunning sight to see. But yes, this is a Japanese castle.

29. Never thought I’d ever see a large lobster like that in the winter.

Another sculpture done in someone’s yard. Now this is just insane from how I see it. This is especially since it’s red.

30. This headless angel is surely a sight to behold.

Well, this is a rendition of a Nike sculpture. And by that I mean the Greek goddess, not the shoe. Not sure what happened to her head.

31. This sailor seems oddly calm just above a shark.

I hope this isn’t a tribute to Jaws. Because I have an idea what will happen to that guy if it is.

32. A Chinese dragon looks no more magical than in the snow.

Yes, the Chinese surely have elaborate dragons in their artwork and celebrations. This one is no exception.

33. Think of this is Jurassic Park on ice.

Well, in snow sculpture form anyway. Chances are, T-Rex messed with the wrong triceratops.

34. Not sure where her skin ends or where her dress begins.

It’s as if she rises from the snow almost organically. That can’t be right since she’s obviously carved from a block on a pavement.

35. Nobody could ever resist this little snow bear.

Almost seems like a polar Winnie the Pooh. Still, it’s so cute you just want to give it a hug.

36. Someone must’ve messed with the wrong shark.

Yeah, chances are you’ll never see that swimmer again. Wonder why I see so many snow sharks.

37. A horse can get you through a lot of rough places.

But spook the one you’re riding and you’re as good as dead. Still, not sure what the horse is doing here.

38. Santa Claus always loves to see the little children.

Well, I had to include Santa here somehow since it’s the middle of December. But not sure what to make from this one.

39. This snow frontiersman explores the West.

The American ones always seem to have a certain folk style about them. Not exactly sure why.

40. Here we come to a castle tower sitting above talking trees.

Well, that’s a bit strange. Then again, maybe it’s an artistic rendition of Isengard. That might explain a lot.

41. A snow swirl seems rather abstract.

For me such snow sculpture pieces are only of decorative value. But it’s quite interesting to see nevertheless.

42. Never saw a rose window tower by itself before.

This is another abstract piece. But it’s a beautiful one to see if you get my drift.

43. This little bear wants to take your picture.

Well, I’m sure cuteness factors in to this bear with a camera set up. But I know many of my viewers would enjoy looking at it.

44. A barge hauler’s work is hard as the day is long.

This is called “Barge Haulers on the Volga” and it’s certainly made by a Russian artist. Not sure if this is from a painting or what.

45. Try roasting marshmallows over this open fire.

Okay, it would probably not go anywhere. But still, a snow fire is quite awesome.

46. In case you couldn’t find a more snowy tribute to man’s best friend.

Yes, it almost looks like a giant bull dog. Still, let’s hope the artist isn’t one of those obsessive pet owners.

47. It takes two hands to make a heart.

This one uses two giant hands made out of snow. But it’s guaranteed to warm your heart.

48. Ever thought about climbing aboard a giant turtle?

Well, you can surely climb aboard this large snow turtle. You read that right. Nevertheless, it’s incredible.

49. We all should know how Rapunzel lets down her hair.

Well, she does have a very long strand that she keeps in a braid so it won’t get tangled. Though she must be lonely in that tower.

50. There’s nothing as magnificent as a glorious owl carved from snow.

Now that’s a beautiful owl as I can see. Love the detail on the wings.

51. Can there ever be anything more graceful than two eagles in flight?

Not exactly sure what these eagles are doing (though I bet it’s some mating ritual). Still, this is such a magnificent work of art.

52. Here we have penguins all in a row.

I don’t think that’s a penguin parent and chicks. Because as far as I know they only have one a year in Antarctica. A puffin family makes a bit more sense.

53. Wonder what that moose is looking for.

Let me guess, food, a mate, or somewhere to avoid a bear. Yet, he also drinks from a mug.

54. Wonder what’s cooking in this witch’s brew.

Not sure what it is. But my best guess is nothing you see from Harry Potter.

55. A Shinto shrine is always simple but elegant.

Well, it certainly resembles a Shinto shrine as far as I’m concerned. But it does have a dash of simplicity to it.

56. When there’s trouble, it’s Buzz Lightyear to the rescue.

Like how he has an ice helmet. Still, this is gigantic from what I see here.

57. An elephant always protects her calves.

Well, her calves and her family calves as well. Nevertheless, while female elephants are relatively calm, don’t mess with them.

58. A snow angel stands out with flowers any day.

Well, this snow angel does. Though flowers are an odd choice for a winter motif.

59. This Russian snow sculpture shows two glorious birds.

One of these has to be the firebird. Not exactly sure which one. Love the castle though.

60. Snow totem poles always look spectacular.

And I can’t argue with that. Still, love what’s surrounding these snow poles. Stunning.

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 15, 2016

Since snow has now come to my area with freezing temperatures, I thought it wouldn’t be more appropriate than to do some second edition posts on snowy creations. After all, though it might be the holiday season, the snow and ice will be with us for awhile. And next month, the US will say goodbye to President Barack Obama and make way for a series of unfortunate events. Besides, winter stuff is kind of expected in December since it’s the Christmas season. Anyway, though it might not be appropriate weather to build a snowman where I live, that’s not to mean they don’t pose a significance during the winter. After all, seeing one at a lawn will put a smile on your face. But as I know from two years ago, there are plenty of people who build snowmen with their own unique spin. And for your reading pleasure today, I give you another treasure trove of Frosty’s friends guaranteed to melt your heart. Because there are some things worth melting for as Olaf would say in Frozen.

Funny how I found this one up a tree.

What’s he hiding from? What’s he doing up there? And when will he get down?

2. This guy seems like a real square when you see him.

Since he’s made from snow blocks. But over time he’ll get a bit round around the edges before eventually melting into a puddle.

3. This snowman just wants to enjoy a day at the park with the kid.

You have to like how they put the snow kid in the little swing seat. That’s so adorable.

4. This woman decided to build a snowman to honor her special friend.

Unfortunately, her special four legged friend doesn’t seem too amused by her snow dog creation. Still, it’s a work of genius.

5. You can never pile enough snowballs to make a snowman.

This is supposed to be the Cat in the Hat from Dr. Seuss. However, I tend to think otherwise despite the goofy Seuss hat.

6. Seems like this snow sheik has taken to some destructive habit.

Yes, he’s taken to hookah all right, which is a kind of tobacco smoking. And yes, it’s bad for you. But stereotypes aside, this is hilarious.

7. This snow couple knows how to get the job done.

This may be seen as a cute snow couple. But I like how the snow lady wears her dress and carries a rolling pin. And how the snowman wears a pot for on his head.

8. This military snowman knows how to lock and load.

If this guy wasn’t dressed as a soldier, I’d feel very uncomfortable. Because I don’t see assault rifles as a civilian weapon at all.

9. This cowpoke doesn’t mind being snowed in.

In fact, he kind of prefers it in the pasture. Still, love how he has cowboy boots. This is great.

10. What you mean a snowman can’t breathe fire?

Now that is something I need to see. Because we all know what happens to snowmen near flames.

11. Who wants to ride in a wheelbarrow?

Sure it might require stuff from your garden shed like a wheelbarrow. But I have to admit this is adorable.

12. The Mexican bandito snowman has come from south of the border.

I know this may offend some people like the “stinkin’ badges” part of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. But c’mon, you can’t blame him from getting out of a place with winters above freezing.

13. Nothing beats a day at the patio.

Okay, they’re drinking under an umbrella and the woman’s wearing a bra. Still, I think it’s quite amusing if you ask me.

14. This snowman would like to know what life is from the inside.

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be able to experience it. Since he’d melt as soon as he came in.

15. Guess this snowman doesn’t like what he sees from the window.

Yeah, I think it’s sometimes unwise to pry into people’s privacy. This guy learned the hard way.

16. This punk snowman is just chillin.’

Not sure what he’s listening to. But I’m sure he doesn’t have the new iPhone that doesn’t have a headphone jack. This is clever.

17. “Four snows and seven years ago…”

However, don’t expect snow Lincoln to emancipate you from any snowstorms this year. Still, this is a great likeness.

18. Seems like this guy’s going through a brain freeze.

Then again, he probably has other worries like wondering about the melting point. Still, like how he sits on the bench.

19. Oddly, Homer seems to enjoy the winter.

Actually this is a snowman Homer Simpson so it’s no wonder. But it really resembles him.

20. Looks like Halo is waiting to take action in his winter of his discontent.

This is from a popular video game series which I’m not familiar with. But I’m sure readers would enjoy this.

21. This snowman really has it on the ball this time.

Now I’m no fan of golf and I’m sure this guy was made for a country club. But I do find this display amusing.

22. Bet she can stuff her bra with snowball enhancements.

Yes, I know many might not think it’s appropriate. Still, I hear she’s quite popular with the Polar Bear Club.

23. “Did anyone call for a pizza?”

I’m sure the pizza was used just for the photo as far as I’m concerned. Still, would you take pizza from a snowman?

24. This man always is always fir for the slopes.

Wonder if he’s from Colorado. Then again, I shouldn’t stereotype by his hair and how he likes to ski.

25. Nothing beats an afternoon on the porch.

Another snow couple in swimsuits. The guy seems to recline with a drink in hand.

26. These two snowmen are ready to rock on with their guitars.

Guess they’re really rocking for a blizzard if you know what I mean. Still, this is quite creative.

27. “Help! Help! I’m sinking!”

Well, perhaps snowmen know what it feels to be snowed in. Like how one waves his stick arms in panic.

28. Hold on tight for it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

A snowman has to hitch a ride somehow. Because he can’t be in where there’s seatbelts or he’d melt.

29. Don’t worry, this snow lady will feed the chickens.

And here she is with her bucket in tow. Have to love her pink outfit as well. So cute.

30. “Can someone take me to the North Pole?”

Unfortunately, the North Pole hasn’t been doing well recently due to climate change. And it has taken a great toll on the polar bears.

31. Oh, no, there’s been a hit and run!

Well, I did a hit and run snowman scene before. Still, this is kind of crazy but funny.

32. Introducing you to Sister Frostina.

Well, she’s created by a group of nuns and in a nun’s habit. Who says nuns don’t have their fun?

33. This snowman loves to go on a bowhunting excursion.

Yes, bowhunting is a thing. Just ask my neighbors. Still, I don’t think there’s a lot of hunting during the winter other than for critters.

34. Even snowmen can engage in the occasional frat boy hijinks.

Drinking out of a keg? Yes, plenty party guys do it. But it’s stupid and might cause you to black out drunk.

35. Of course, some snowmen are kinkier than others.

Given the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, I couldn’t resist this one. But a BDSM snowman might lead to many calls from parents.

36. These snowmen shall not be moved.

You’d think these snowmen would be protesting climate change. Because they’d certainly be affected by it.

37. This snowman always loves to raid ships on the high seas.

Well, the high polar seas, anyway. Because he’d surely melt if he’s closer to the Equator.

38. Oh, my God, they’re coming for us!

Remind me not to buy a home where there’s an Indian burial mound on top of it. Still, this is so creative.

39. Did that thing just eat a kid?

Yes, there are people who do demented snowmen like this. A sure sign that a neighbor has watched too many horror movies.

40. With this snowman, it’s to infinity and beyond.

Now that’s a really good Buzz Lightyear. Hope he knows that he’s a toy snowman and not something else.

41. Don’t mind him, he’s just going places.

Here he’s in with a bike jacket and helmet. Wonder how he puts the pedal to the metal with his snow legs.

42. These guys are just taking a break from a long day.

Funny how they’re made from the snow that covers the chairs. Doesn’t seem to take much work to do.

43. Someone must’ve had a few too many.

Look, a drunken snowman may be funny. But a drunk person passed out like that isn’t. If your see someone like this, you might want to consider calling 911.

44. Seems like that tree really got in his way.

I know this is a sick and twisted way to build a snowman. But somehow it works by having a tree grow out of him.

45. These snow people always stick to the good old ways of their ancestors.

Yes, this is an Amish snow family. Yes, they’re quite plain. But you should see them do a snow barn raising.

46. Seems like this snowman should hit the shade on late night.

Conan O’Brien would be proud of this. Like how they did the flaming red hair.

47. This snow woman always wants to do the hula.

However, she wouldn’t be able to don the grass skirt in Hawaii. Because it doesn’t have snow compatible weather.

48. Looks like someone crashed in the wrong place.

This was just made from a mound of snow. Still, he seems to have no worries.

49. “Can you help me get to Florida?”

Uh, I’m not even sure if this guy should even go there. Unless he wants a death wish since Florida isn’t known for snow.

50. Not sure if doing a handstand on a Jeep is a good idea.

Well, I have to admit, it’s a pretty interesting concept. Like the earmuffs and boots.

51. This guy’s just chilling with the morning paper.

Not sure if it’s a great time to read the paper in snowy weather. But to each his own.

52. Guess this one is “Always Look on the Bright Side of Light.”

Because from the sign, this snowman isn’t long for this world. But doesn’t seem to care.

53. I don’t know about you but do snowmen ever get constipated?

This one seems to be from the looks of it. Not sure if I’d like to see it.

54. This snowman is guaranteed to pump you up.

Sadly for him, he’ll probably be busted for performance enhancing drugs. You know how body builders are.

55. So is this how a Renaissance artist would build a snowman?

Okay, to be fair, not all of them lived in Italy. But imagine the great Renaissance snow masterpieces that we’ve missed since photography wasn’t invented then.

56. “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, snowman under limbo stick.”

Getting under a limbo stick is tricky. But it’s especially difficult if you’re made of snow.

57. Not sure what these snow people are thinking about right now.

For interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. Still, love the little ones surrounding them.

58. What’s this poor soul to do in the winter weather?

Seems like he’s a homeless snowman sleeping on a bench. And he has some booze with him.

59. Even snowmen love to have some winter fun to themselves.

And look, they’re playing snow angels. As if they’re frolicking in their own flesh.

60. There’s nothing like a walk with the dog.

Maybe so. But this dog has evergreen branch ears and tail. I know many will love this.

The Special Delivery World of Mailboxes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 7, 2016

mailboxes

Before the days of the internet, people used to communicate to each other by writing letters which they received in what’s called a mailbox. Of course, though we may not write letters to each other anymore, we still have these remnants around mostly because we don’t have teleporter technology that enables us to send packages and bills through the internet. And the fact it’s one of the few forms of communication that everyone uses to some level or another. So whether you like it or not, mailboxes are here to stay indefinitely and snail mail is not dead. After all, where else can the postman deliver the DVD you rented from Netflix? Nevertheless, most of us usually have mailboxes that aren’t too fancy such as a plain metal box with a round top and red flag to alert the mail carriers to pick up the stuff we’re sending off. Some might use a box on the front of their house. Or some might use a large mailbox around the corner. But there are some people who have rather elaborate mail boxes that might strike you as quite unusual or probably mark the home of the neighborhood nut job. Of course, in my area if someone had a mailbox that looked as outlandish as the ones I’ll present to you, people might not see them as sane since my neighborhood once endured a series of mailbox smashings during a summer when I was sixteen. This left the one at my house at the time basically reduced to a plastic stand that my family had to receive their mail at the post office for awhile until my parents bought a metal one in its place. And that’s why people in my neighborhood can’t have nice things. But at any rate, for your reading pleasure I bring you a glimpse into the crazy world of mailboxes.

Now that’s one way to recycle an old broken microwave.

But if you want to use it as a mailbox keep it secure on a wooden post, attach a flag, and apply some house numbers. Otherwise, people are just going to see it as a microwave and take it.

2. Guess this is the mailbox for Robot Chicken.

Robot Chicken does videos on the internet, by the way. But this mailbox really takes the robotic chicken concept quite literally.

3. Looks like this mailbox has already sprouted flowers.

Okay, they’re metal flowers. But whatever they’re made from, they’re quite pretty to me.

4. With a mailbox like this, catfishing seems to take a whole new meaning.

Catfishing is when you meet someone in person you met through phone, mail, or online and they don’t turn out to be what they say they are. Yet, this mailbox is of a literal catfish.

5. This mailbox shows how this mountainous area as if it had bloomed from a flower.

Too bad the petals on this flower seem to resemble butt cheeks. Yeah, that doesn’t look right.

6. If you can have a flamingo in your garden, how about one in your mailbox?

After all, a flamingo mailbox is just as tacky as a lawn ornament. Besides, it’ll make you stand out in the neighborhood.

7. Perhaps you and your neighbors can make the mailman’s job easier by putting your mailboxes on a wheel.

That way, the mail carrier can just spin the wheel to deliver the mail instead of having to stop their truck constantly. Seems more convenient to them.

8. This mailbox is all held up by a bunch of pencils.

And they all seem to be in different colors, too. But I’m sure you can’t use them.

9. Why chase windmills when you can receive your mail in one?

Sure having this might make people think you need a psychiatrist. But it sure looks quite charming in its own way.

10. Got rusty mailboxes? You can always decorate them.

One of these is decorated with a crocheted quilt cozy. The other has flowers on it. Seems like this one is used for a college.

11. Hope you can get to your mail before the bear does.

Didn’t know you can have wood sculpture mailboxes. Not sure how that works. But this is quite clever.

12. Guess this biker wants to out jump this orange mailbox.

Yes, I know the person who lives at that place is either crazy or a repressed art major. But at least no one is bound to mistake their address during mail time.

13. This mailbox boldly goes where no man has gone before.

Yes, this is a mailbox depicting the Enterprise from Star Trek which is set at a time when nobody uses mailboxes at all. Seriously, they have replicators and teleport technology.

14. If you want the mail carrier to remember where you live, how about a mailbox of your own house?

After all, whoever lived there certainly did. Then again, some people might not have that option.

15. Looks like this house belongs to a Mr. Charles Brown.

Because I can recognized that it has Snoopy and Woodstock. Still, like the red doghouse motif.

16. This scuba diver mailbox seems to belong under the sea.

After all, the guy swimming certainly seems like he’s underwater. Also, note the crabs below him.

17. Didn’t know you can plant flowers near your mailbox.

Then again, I’m not sure whether some of these flowers are even real. But they sure are pretty.

18. Looks like this maibox is standing on half a boat.

Well, half a kayak anyway. Probably seems like it was created by someone with too much time on their hands.

19. This skeleton is just lounging around without a care in the world.

Yes, he’s just kicking back with food, beer, music, and lots of sun. What more can he ask for?

20. Guess this is where everyone makes a deposit so the mailman can withdraw.

Because this mailbox apparently resembles an old wooden outhouse. And it has a spider on it.

21. Seems like this box was made from a whole neighborhood block.

Actually it’s just a wooden mailbox with homes painted. But you have to admire the vibrant colors.

22. My, that’s one fearsome fish.

On bright side, having a mailbox like this can potentially scare off potential smashers. On the downside, it might scare the shit out of mail carriers and everyone else.

23. Wonder what’s buzzing inside this one.

Hope it doesn’t contain anything that might get you stung. Still, this is really adorable if you ask me.

24. Apparently, some painter lives at that address.

You can obviously guess from the wooden paint pallet and brushes. Guess the artist wants to advertise their craft.

25. In this mailbox, every type of mail has its proper place.

The fact that papers and bills go into the old wood stove is only coincidental. Looks like someone doesn’t care about receiving such stuff very much.

26. So is this mailbox used by a school?

Because it seems to really take the form of a yellow school bus. Like how they have little people figures inside.

27. Don’t mind the blue stick figure handling the yellow mailbox. He won’t hurt you.

After all, he’s just being very friendly. So it’s nothing you should be concerned about. Honest.

28. This tractor mailbox can hold its mail fill at any rate.

Doesn’t hurt that it was made from an old propane tank. Got to love the wheels and the seat.

29. Seems like this mailbox is quite fancy.

This one seems to have a lovely painting and a lot of flowery touches. Definitely not one you’d want in my neighborhood (because it might get smashed).

30. In Hawaii, tiki mailboxes are all the rage.

Well, at least in some areas anyway. Not sure if I’d like to see people with mailboxes containing weird faces and wild hair like that.

31. Sometimes you might need some robotic help for mailbox handling.

But don’t worry. Sure Zorg may seem like he wants to kill you. But he’s just holding the mailbox for the Patterson family. Nothing you should worry about.

32. With a mailbox like this, you might be flying high.

Guess any mail received in this goes in first, business, or coach. Unless it belongs to Southwest Airlines, then it’s always coach.

33. So this is where you’d receive the pelican brief.

By the way The Pelican Brief is a legal thriller by John Grisham that was made into a movie. And sorry, bird fans, but it has nothing to do with pelicans. But this mailbox does.

34. Not sure if the mail carrier will ever see the irony here.

But I’m sure this mailbox will stand in rain, snow, sleet, or hail. Because the mail must always be delivered save Sundays or holidays.

35. Guess this person loves to make a flowery impression.

Yes, it’s a large flower all right. And the mailbox is smack dab in the center. Wonder what the mail carrier thinks about that.

36. Sometimes a mailbox is considered a sacred space.

But you can’t help but like this one of a dazzling blue church near a seaside town. So lovely.

37. Seems like this mailbox comes locked and loaded.

No wonder this mailbox belongs to an NRA member who doesn’t believe in gun control. Probably a place I want to avoid.

38. Hope this mailbox doesn’t let out a squawk.

Though this is a colorful parrot mailbox. Wouldn’t want to see it get smashed.

39. Looks like the mail comes in at the last drop.

Apparently, it seems do in this pipe mailbox. Guess this might belong to a waterworks.

40. Imagine trying to send your mail from a tree stump.

Well, I’m sure this isn’t really a tree trunk. But it doesn’t quite seem right, don’t you think?

41. In the event of biblical flooding, this mailbox can keep your mail dry for 40 days and 40 nights.

Okay, I know that’s not the case with any mailbox. But since this is a Noah’s Ark one, I had to put a little biblical humor in this one.

42. This marlin mailbox might seem a bit fishy for some people.

No, this isn’t a swordfish, though marlins tend to be mistaken as this. But marlins don’t have nearly that long of bill and display more elaborate fins.

43. Nothing makes a mail carrier happier than a mailbox hanging garden.

The mail goes in the birdhouse on this one. But the flowers on this are quite pretty.

44. Anyone from Purdue would surely love to receive their mail in the Boilermaker Special.

Really wanted to do something with the Boilermaker Special in the college sports craft post. But I couldn’t find any relating to that.

45. Guess whoever owns this mailbox has been swept up in patriotic fervor lately.

Not only is this mailbox and stand painted like an American flag, but it even has a bald eagle on top. Guess someone must have too much time on their hands.

46. When mail comes a knocking, this mailbox is a rockin.’

Yes, this mailbox is in the shape of an electric guitar. How cool is that?

47. This mailbox comes with a maritime touch.

It’s shaped like a submarine periscope with a boat on it. And it seems to be from Wales.

48. You may not see anything nearly as graceful as this mailbox.

Sure swans may be beautiful creatures on the water. But they’re not friendly. In fact, they can be quite mean and vicious.

49. Seems like this little owl house mailbox has to be a hoot.

Well, the mailbox is on the owl statue. But it seems to be a quite clever design nonetheless. Love the owl glasses.

50. No, I don’t think you’ll find any electrical circuits here.

Nice to see how this is specifically labeled “US Mail.” So you won’t mistake it for something you see on the power lines.

51. Looks like someone in this neighborhood is working for the Galactic Empire.

Yet, apparently, their mail seems be all up in Darth Vader’s TIE. Oh, wait, could he live there?

52. This golf cart mailbox doesn’t hesitate to tell people to drive safely.

Or at least I think it’s a golf cart because it sure looks like it. Then again, it might be something else.

53. This Big Ben mailbox knows how to make an impression.

As to why anyone would want a mailbox that high, I don’t have the slightest idea. Seriously, it might need a lightning rod at that point.

54. A mailbox like this is perfect for down on the farm.

Since it seems to be shape like a little red barn you see in children’s books. Like the roof though.

55. Here we have an old cowboy and his dog at this mail depot.

Both seem to be likely cast in bronze, too. Guess this mailbox certainly did not come cheap.

56. Guess this traffic light doesn’t tell you when to stop or go.

Guess each one has a face on which type of mail. I bet the frownie red face is for bills.

57. This mailbox seems all shelled out.

Well, all seashelled out, anyway. Another mailbox you wouldn’t want in my neighborhood. Lovely.

58. You wouldn’t want to run into this standing white tiger.

You should also know that he knows karate. So he could basically nail your ass in more ways than the average tiger. Avoid.

59. Got an old fashioned camera? Perhaps you can use it as a mailbox.

Well, if the said camera doesn’t fetch a good price at an antique shop. Then again, it’s worth a try.

60. Hope you know how to smile for the picture.

Okay, this is a Nikon camera mailbox made from wood. Guess the mail comes in from the side.

61. This mailbox comes well anchored.

In this case, quite literally if you apply the maritime logic. Even on land.

62. Apparently, someone’s mail has a large snake wrapping around it.

Don’t worry, the snake isn’t real and is only on there for artistic purposes. So you’re safe.

63. Insert your Santa letter here.

Didn’t know there even was a mailbox you can send your letters to the North Pole. Interesting.

64. This mailbox is all covered with gears and chains.

Looks like the decorations on here came from a bunch of old bikes. Like the face in the front.

65. This lighthouse mailbox will help you find your way home.

Wonder if it really lights up like a real lighthouse. Then again, I do admire the brick work, too.

66. This hammer mailbox surely nails it in.

Or perhaps “mails it in.” Maybe that’s not a really good pun. Hope the mail carrier in that neck of the woods isn’t a real tool.

67. This computer mailbox is always online.

Well, not online on the technical sense. But it’s a great place to mail back your Netflix DVDs.

68. This metal camper contains special deliveries.

Then again, why anyone would want to use a mailbox while camping is beyond me. Seriously, why?

69. This drum set mailbox doesn’t miss a beat.

Apparently, it came with cymbal and a gong. Hope it doesn’t get out of hand with the bass.

70. I’m sure you won’t get any gas from here.

Because it’s used for holding mail, not fuel. Also, it’s kind of in an old fashioned style like 1950s.

71. You can always go with the old stage coach option.

Never mind that it’s practically obsolete since we had trains, cars, and planes. But at least you can have this wooden mailbox.

72. Bet you can send your letter with this little seagull.

Sure it looks like a bird in the box. But it’s an adorable bird in the box. From Japan.

73. For a more eco-friendly delivery, a birch mailbox will suit your fancy.

Goes well with a birch tree. But will it hold up is my question. Probably.

74. Guess this casket mailbox is buried with mail from the inside.

Then again, you can tell where they put the mail in. Guess this is for a funeral home but it doesn’t seem that way.

75. Seems like this beaver has been a bit lonely lately.

At least its chomping on a log over a wooden mailbox. Still, it’s adorable.

76. This US Capitol mailbox surely has its own patriotic charm.

Well, seems like a rather skinny replica of it, anyway. But I really think this is an awesome design.

77. This cactus mailbox seems to have room for 3.

Sure it’s all in green. But at least it’s somewhat convenient for the neighborhood.

78. This log cabin mailbox has a rather rustic facade.

Seems like it was made out of Lincoln logs for some reason. Maybe because Lincoln logs look like that.

79. This lighthouse mailbox will surely shine on the coast.

Yes, it’s another lighthouse mailbox. But this one is made from wood, painted, blue and much smaller than the other one.

80. This shiny red barn mailbox comes with its own black weather vane.

Yes, it’s another barn mailbox. But this one looks different and has a more shinier look to it. Couldn’t pass it up.

81. This horse mailbox can sure gallop with grace.

This one is also cast in bronze. Not sure what I think about the mane. But it’s almost lifelike.

82. This fire truck mailbox may not put out fires but it’ll keep the mail secure.

There seem to be a lot of firetruck mailboxes. But this is the one I think really stands out for me. Love the detail.

83. This green mailbox comes with its own built in lift.

This is certainly for a company called Sunbelt. They specialize in construction equipment rentals.

84. This Green Bay Packers mailbox seems rather cheesy to me.

Then again, it’s only fitting since their fans are called “Cheeseheads.” So they have to come with a cheesy mailbox, too.

85. This mailbox has the spirit of an Old West saloon.

You know the place in westerns where they all get into fights and shoot each other. Still, this has very fine woodwork.

86. Of course, many young children could dream of having this Thomas the Tank Engine mailbox.

Well, this seems kind of fancy for Thomas. But it’ll do. So cute.

87. This Up mailbox is a pure Disney Pixar dream.

A lot of people seem to really like the Up house. Maybe because of the nice colors and balloons. Love it.

88. This mailbox should indicate to you that you’re in Gator country.

As in Florida Gator country. But note that Florida also has a lot of real alligators, too. And they’re not friendly.

89. This shows where real mail and span go.

I’m sure the spam mailbox is practically empty. But this set up is pretty amusing.

90. This lobster mailbox always comes in fully clawed.

Now that’s a funny looking lobster. But since it’s a mailbox, I’ll allow it.

91. In this set up, junk mail always ends up in the toilet.

Well, I have to admit that whoever made this has quite the sense of humor. Yes, junk mail is a pain.

92. Would you want your mail from the butt of an AT-AT?

Hey, at least it’s better than having to face one in battle. Yes, those things can be destructive as you’ve seen in the Empire Strikes Back.

93. This lobster trap mailbox has a lot of sea life to it.

But it’s not going to make the lobster happy, isn’t it? Still, wonder if it’s a real lobster trap. Probably.

94. This mailbox has Batman to the rescue.

You have to admire the person’s creativity on this one. Though I’m not sure about the legs.

95. How about putting your mailbox within a tiki hut?

Guess this is made from straw and bamboo if it’s not from some replica plastics. Better than the tiki statue one.

96. No one could resist sending mail in this little penguin box.

Yes, it’s a cute little penguin mailbox. And it’s in an environment you’d probably won’t see penguins. At least outside of nature shows.

97. Seems like this mailbox has been caught in a tree.

Then again, that’s not really a tree. And the mailbox is supposed to be held up in the branches.

98. So I guess this not only receives mail but also pumps water.

Guess like the brownie box camera, water pumps are obsolete technology used for artistic purposes. Yet, this seems to work.

99. This manatee mailbox seems all dressed for a luau.

There’s someone who seems to dress a manatee mailbox for holidays and special occasions. But I suppose the hula thing is the default mode.

100. And last, I feel that I can conclude this post with a red caboose.

After all, the caboose is usually the end of the train. So I guess the caboose mailbox fits.

The Carving World of Wood Sculpture

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 29, 2015

We use wood for all kinds of things. We use it to build stuff. We use it to make furniture. We use it to burn for fuel. However, there are some people who use wood for creating works of art whether through carving, chainsaw, or whatever. Of course, I’m talking about wood sculpture. Sure you might see some neat carvings at festivals. Still, while wood may be flammable, biodegradable, and vulnerable to insect damage, it’s fairly easy material to sculpt. Unlike metal, you don’t need to make a mold or use any fire unless you want to. Unlike glass, it’s not delicate and easily breakable (well, for the most part). Unlike clay and ceramics, you don’t need to put it in a kiln. And unlike stone, you don’t need to continuously hammer it with a chisel unless you want to. Just take any assortment of cutting tools from your local hardware store and cut away. Not to mention, wood is a rather light material and take in fine detail. Nevertheless, wood sculpting has been extremely widely practiced and forms an important but hidden element of many cultures. The Native Americans tribes in the Pacific Northwest are a major example since they build totem poles (though we know little of how that tradition developed since wood tends to decay. And outdoor sculpture doesn’t last long). But you’d find some form of wood sculpting tradition all over the world which is still practiced today. I mean you still have wood sculpting at festivals in the summer and fall as well as contests. Hell, you can even buy some wood sculptures for indoor use online. Of course, some types of wood are easier to carve in than others. So without further adieu, I now present to you an assortment of wood sculptures for your reading pleasure.

Seems like this fox is either stumped or is just standing on a stump.

Now that’s a nice color for a fox like that. However, I’m not sure if that’s the color of the wood or spray paint.

2. Of course, eagles will always have to fly back to the nest.

Birds are a popular motif in wood sculpture. And you’ll see a lot. However, how I see it, I think the dad is the one taking care of the chicks while the mom is spreading her wings. Because in bald eagles, the female is supposed to be bigger.

3. It seems that Mary’s little lamb has sprouted some big horns.

Contrary to popular belief, sheep aren’t docile or dumb as you think they are. Sheep actually have good memories and are very social animals. Also, if cornered some will attack you. Rams are also pretty aggressive that they’re used as mascots on sports teams.

4. You might see wood sculptures a lot during special events in the summer and fall. However, you wouldn’t see sculptures of nudes like this one.

No, can’t show that in front of the kids. But at least she has a lot of highly defined features. Though I’m not sure about whether her boobs would be real if she was an actual person.

5. In North America, there is no better known red bird than the Northern Cardinal.

Now the cardinal is a very pretty bird as I can admit. However, this doesn’t mean that it seven states should adopt it as their state bird. Yeah, apparently when it comes to state birds, originality doesn’t seem to be the focus here.

6. This old crow is a wise and strong one among his tribe.

Then again, this might be a raven if it comes from the Pacific Northwest. They tend to be significant among that culture.

Then again, this might be a raven if it comes from the Pacific Northwest. Ravens tend to be significant among that culture. And it’s also wearing the tribal robes.

7. Of course, I wouldn’t want to cross this hawk on wood.

Not sure what the hawk is. Know it’s not a red tailed or red shoulder. But it almost looks real.

8. Yes, I’m certain that bears and birds of prey can exist on the same tree.

And I guess the eagles eat whatever the bears catch. Then again, these may be cubs. The owl just goes out alone for critters.

9. Try to dance in these dancing shoes.

Then again, these shoes really don’t look appropriate for clog dancing. Or ballet. Or anything. Of course, they’re just for show.

10. When it comes to trees, none is more magnificent than the Tree of Life.

Now this was a sculpture that is carved from wood. Wood comes from a tree, which is currently dead from how I can tell it. See the irony here?

11. Of course, a wine chalice must always be covered in vines.

Wonder if they use something like this in churches. Then again, it’s probably too delicate. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship.

12. Now is the time for this owl to spread its wings.

Yes, it’s a day time sculpture and I know that owls are active at night. But it’s still quite detailed and magnificent, I may add.

13. Now a soaring hawk can be frightening as well as magnificent as it swoops for prey in flight.

Hard to believe that this hawk sculpture looks so lifelike. Seems like there’s nothing to keep it held up. Love the feathers, too.

14. Ironically, water usually tends to extinguish an open flame. Not this time.

But if you try to set this statue on fire, I’m sure it will burn. And you will most likely get in big trouble for arson.

15. It can be wise to avoid a dragon, especially when it’s hanging out with its reptilian friends.

As you can see, this is an Asian carving. Probably from China or Japan. Not sure how old it is. But somehow it seems East Asian dragons tend to have scales and feathers.

16. Seems like this bird feels like letting out a loud, “kaw.”

If crows and ravens can talk, I guess you can hear them say, “I just love the smell of roadkill in the morning.” Seriously, the smell of decaying flesh is a delicious aroma to them.

17. Looks like one buck has just become dinner for a pack of wolves.

Actually, wolves don't act like this in real life. To them, going after a strong buck is just plain stupid. Wolves go after easier prey like the very young, sick, weak, and very old. Hell, if you see a pack of wolves eating a full grown animal, it's likely to be old and dead of natural causes. Yes, wolves will wait for an adult animal to die.

Actually though quite dramatic, wolves don’t act like this in real life. To them, going after a strong buck is just plain stupid. Wolves go after easier prey like the very young, sick, weak, and very old. Hell, if you see a pack of wolves eating a full grown animal, it’s likely to be old and dead of natural causes. Yes, wolves will wait for an adult animal to die.

18. Now here we come to a rather playful little elephant.

Let’s hope the tusks on this one aren’t made from real ivory. Because that would be bad. Very bad, indeed.

19. A rose may be a rose but this one seems to have a lot of shavings.

Now that’s a huge rose. Probably derived from a chainsaw carving. Kind of looks obvious. Wonder how they’ll shake off the shavings.

20. Now this toucan certainly has a stunning beak to behold.

This is a sculpture from Costa Rica where many toucans live. Not sure which one this is. Still, very colorful beak.

21. Seems like this polar bear prefers to stand on its stump.

Now this little polar bear is adorable. Though its eyes seem a little sad. Of course, I’m not sure how it would handle climate change with the ice caps melting.

22. Now this snowy owl always seems like a beautiful snowbird in flight.

Of course, I see where it’s hung. However, it’s still quite gorgeous with its wings spread out like that. Kind of see why Harry had an owl like this.

23. Now this is where you put your leather jacket.

Actually that wooden jacket may look real. But it wouldn’t be comfortable to wear. Well, if you can wear it. Also, what’s in that pocket?

24. Now this woman is enjoying a stroll in her new hat.

And something seems to catch her eye. But I don’t know what. Still, her hat seems a bit flat for some reason.

25. Now that is one big, scary moth.

Man, those wings look huge. And I bet they weren’t easy to carve with a chainsaw. Still, big bugs are terrifying. Need I say more?

26. Of course, you always have to stop and smell the flowers.

Now these look quite lifelike. If they were painted with the right colors, I might not be able to distinguish them from the real thing.

27. Still, I hear that a light bulb can brighten a room any day.

Except if it’s carved from wood. Yeah, I know this wouldn’t do well on a dark night. Well, unless you burn it.

28. Now this skeleton just wants to lounge around for awhile.

Guess this guy is taking a break from the graveyard shift tonight. Yeah, even undead skeletons need a little R&R now and then.

29. Now this horse definitely looks majestic in the sunlight.

Horses are another common motif in wood sculpture. And this one is no exception. However, if you want to buy a wooden horse as big as this, always check for Greeks.

30. Think this came from a wild cat? Think again.

Now if it weren’t for the wood marks in this, you might’ve had this owner arrested for poaching. Still, this is quite cool.

31. Now this angel seems to like standing by the window.

For some reason, biblical angels are typically addressed as male. But you tend to see them in artwork as female. Then again, it’s said that angels in the Bible tend to look quite freaky.

32. Of course, you can’t do without a wooden sculpture of a cathedral.

This must’ve been carved by someone with a great deal of talent, attention to detail, and an ungodly amount of patience. And it was most likely not carved by a chainsaw.

33. Even in art, dolphins can be beautiful in the ocean.

Now this is quite stunning. However the shadows in this picture make ti a little hard to see. Must be about 6 on this.

34. A wooden rose will be best used to decorate a wooden box.

Now this looks quite lifelike and beautiful to behold. Still, I’m not sure if I’d want to use this for anything though.

35. “Ah, the Norwegian Blue. Wonderful plumage.”

Actually there’s no such thing as a Norwegian Blue because parrots are tropical animals. Still, this blue parrot is quite pretty if I do say so myself.

36. Remember that a sturdy trunk makes a good tractor.

Guess this tractor didn’t take a lot of sawing to produce here. But it seems to require a lot of assembly. Nevertheless, quite clever.

37. Now the bald eagle has always been America’s majestic symbol.

Now this almost looks like the real thing I almost mistook it for taxidermy. You see, how great wood is used for carving stuff?

38. Of course, this mermaid is sure to let anyone go with her under the sea.

Still, in a lot of mythologies, while mermaids are usually pretty, they’re not always nice or bright. In fact, some legends have them drown sailors through their songs. Whether it’s accidental or on purpose depends on the culture.

39. If painted, this lighthouse is bound to look pretty on a postcard.

Of course, I wouldn’t want to take this lighthouse on any beach. And if it was smaller, you’d see it at some souvenir shop in New England.

40. With handcrafted flowers, any beauty creations are possible.

Wonder if these flowers would look any prettier with colors on them. Then again, maybe not. Best not disturb what the artist intended, shall we?

41. Seems like these feathered fantasy creatures are really getting at it.

And it seems that this fight is costing each one some of their feathers. Not sure what these two creatures are. Think the artist made them up.

42. This wooden motorcycle puts the pedal to the paddle.

Well, saying “pedal to the metal” would be pretty ridiculous here. Also, I’m sure it doesn’t do well with gasoline.

43. Sorry, rabbit, but you ain’t coming home tonight.

Seems like it’s going to be rabbit stew at the hawk’s nest tonight. Yeah, that rabbit never had the chance. Sure this might look quite frightening but it’s how nature works, kids.

44. When it comes to eagle mating, just lock talons and spin.

Now this is quite an amazing sculpture. Wonder how the person who created this pulled it off. Not to mention, painting the thing.

45. Guess this is the music equipment for the Stumps.

Sure the woodwork is fine. But I don’t think the equipment is guaranteed to work. Still, quite a set up here.

46. Not every bird of prey can sit on a ledge majestically as this hawk.

You should know that birds of prey are popular subjects in wood sculpture. Because case in point, birds of prey are cool. Just ask anyone.

47. This black bear has been working on the railroad all the livelong day.

Seems like he’s the one holding the lamp so he can devour some tasty railroad workers. But sometimes railroad work can be simply unbearable, even to a bear in coveralls.

48. Even churches may sometimes have their share of intricate woodwork. This is depicting the Assumption of the Virgin Mary.

This is from a medieval cathedral in Europe. And man, how they did this without power tools must be some act of the Holy Spirit working the carvers who made this. How else can I explain stuff like this.

This is from a medieval cathedral in Europe. And man, how they did this without power tools must be some act of the Holy Spirit working within the carvers who made it. How else can I explain stuff like this.

49. Now this is the sculpture pertaining to what lovers dream.

Of course, the position of these two figures is highly unrealistic. And it was probably executed this way to hide the man’s genitalia.

50. Seems like this eagle has managed to get the catch of the day.

Yes, it was quite the flight but it was worth it. Still, wonder what kind of fish that is. Guess it’s from some freshwater source.

51. There is no better wood sculpture that defines American character than this one of American Gothic.

Yes, it’s perhaps the most famous painting in American art. And it’s been parodied for decades. Sometimes I’m not sure why.

52. It’s always handy to carry a change purse with you, especially if it has a chain.

Now I wonder how they managed to carve out the chain. Would be very interesting to know. Love the floral design.

53. Someone seems in the mood for a rustic convertible.

Then again, it might be cheaper to go with a cedar cedan. Also, kind of looks like a Volkswagen which is known for being “eco-friendly” until they’re not.

54. Ladies and gentleman I give you, Our Lady of the Mahogany.

Now this is another very old wood sculpture which you can’t buy. Might’ve been carved by a famous artist from centuries ago. Not sure who.

55. This Indian seems really taken with the view.

Native Americans seem to be a common subject in wood sculpture for some reason. At least in America. By the way, this is a Plains Indian. And not all Indians dress like that.

56. Guess this guy is traveling to his destination by bird.

This is an old Japanese artwork which is unsurprisingly not for sale. It was probably made in Japan’s medieval era. Not sure what legend this recounts.

57. Of course, you can’t round off North American birds without including the Blue Jay.

Now I like blue jays and think they’re rather pretty birds. But there are some people who think these birds are annoying. They don’t understand.

58. Sometimes it pays to travel by Jeep, especially in the military.

Yes, this is a wooden jeep. Easy to set fire to, but not meant to drive in. But still, it really looks like a jeep but with everything furnished.

59. Of course, this piece exemplifies how Renaissance wood carvers put their modern counterparts to shame.

Now this sculpture of Mary weeping of Jesus is quite amazing. And in some ways almost looks real. However, it’s no Michelangelo’s Pieta.

60. Now this snake seems to have a sneaky side about it for some reason.

This is another old artwork from Japan. And it almost seems quite lifelike for a wooden snake. But it’s curled in the shape of a turd.

61. Seems like this owl now has its wings right open.

Yes, this owl has its wings spread in all its glory. And yes, marvel at its feathers in all its glory. Of course, critters beware.

62. Now you can’t talk about the saints in woodwork without including Saint Michael and the Dragon (wait, a minute, isn’t it supposed to be Saint George and the Dragon?).

Now this might be a contemporary religious subject. But the wood work in this is awesome. Just look at the details here.

63. This Japanese woman always knows when to come in with style.

This piece might be of some Japanese art form which I don’t know the name of. But while most of her body is wood, her head consists of ivory and metal. Also, another old medieval piece you can’t buy.

64. May I present to you, this gilded Buddha.

Yes, this is a very old statue and it’s paint has not worn well. However, I can be sure that this was made of wood and is not for sale.

65. You may take some birds’ presence for granted but you’ll never forget when you see a Pilated Woodpecker.

Now I’m sure that bird is bigger than the real thing. But I love the paint job. Really brings out the colors.

66. Sometimes all you need is one big quill.

Now this is Pacific Northwest Native American design. Just look at the markings. Still, wouldn’t mind having that.

67. Of course, you can’t have a post on wood sculpture without penguins.

From how the chick looks here, it can go either way for the parent. Still, this is adorable if you ask me.

68. Now an elk has always been a great creature of the American West.

Well, at least there wasn’t much to do with the color scheme. Still, it does look quite real and majestic when you look at it.

69. How about travel the countryside in this VW microbus?

If this was a real working vehicle, it would be one of the most eco-friendly cars around. Oh, wait, it’s from Volkwagen. So this is basically false advertising.

70. Somehow this fire breathing dragon tends to rise out from the panel.

Now some of you might be familiar with dragons in East Asian culture. But you have to admit, this is pretty cool.

71. My, what a lovely hat.

Not sure if I can wear it or if I even want to. Still, it almost looks like one you’d see at a store. Then again, it would if the ribbon was painted in a color that stands out.

72. Of course, a teddy bear has always been a toy for all ages.

Yes, it may look cute but it’s not cuddly. Besides, since it’s a wood carving, trying to hug it might cause splinters.

73. Sometimes you’ll never know what you’ll find on other people’s clothes lines.

I’m sure wearing wooden panties wouldn’t be comfortable to say the least. Might feel like wearing a chastity belt that runs the risk of causing splinters.

74. Of course, in China it would be awesome to see a dragon boat like this.

Now this is quite pretty. Wonder what a life size one would look like. Then again, you’d probably not see one in Beijing. Too much pollution.

75. When it comes to the kitchen, sometimes you can’t separate the cookbook from the cutting board.

Not sure what this person’s cooking up here. Those ingredients could suggest almost anything. So could the book.

76. There are some days when you just want to devour a nice, juicy steak.

However, I wouldn’t recommend anyone to eat this. It’s not very tender and tastes rather woody and painty. Yeah, disgusting.

77. Sometimes wood carving can help bring a painting to life.

Now this painting is rather famous for some reason. Still, I heard it takes place in a 19th century park known for its disparate dress code policies for men and women.

78. In the event of modern war, you can’t leave your ground troops without a tank.

Of course, despite being armed with all the latest state of the art weaponry, it would be pretty useless in battle. Still, makes an awesome museum piece that boys and young men would enjoy.

79. Of course, who can’t forget that adorable robot from Disney and Pixar’s WALL-E?

Now this is so cute. Wish they had one of EVE. Of course, I can see why a wood sculpture of that one wouldn’t work.

80. Still, some people tend to play their video games on their X-Box 360.

However, you wouldn’t be able to play video games on this XBox 360 Console. Because it’s all made from wood and just for show. Still, would go great in any entertainment center.

Fun with Garden Gnomes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 19, 2015

Perhaps, no tacky garden artwork gets as much notoriety as the garden gnome. Sure they don’t look like figures of the ideal human form. Rather they tend to be little Santa Clauses with boots, pants, blue tunic, and a red cone hat. But somehow people seem to like them enough that they’ve become icons of their own for some reason or another. Now a gnome is a mythological creature spirit introduced by Paracelsus in the 16th century as a spirit of Renaissance alchemy and magic. They are typically said to be small, humanoid creatures that tend to live underground. Sometimes it’s said that they’re willing to help out the garden at night. Yet, they didn’t become the lawn ornaments we know today until the 19th century and didn’t take their present form until after WWII as inspired by Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Nevertheless, they’re often the target of pranks in which people would “kidnap” the gnome and “return it to the wild” with Italy having a Garden Gnome Liberation Front. There are also instances in which garden gnomes have been “kidnapped” and sent on trips around the world which formed the basis of “Where’s My Gnome?” series of ads for Travelocity starting in 2008. And it’s the reason why we have the Travelocity Gnome. Still, in 2008, they arrested a guy in France for stealing 170 of these things. There is even a gnome reserve in England, home to over 2,000 gnomes and was mentioned in the Guinness Book of World Records. Nevertheless, there are plenty of garden gnomes out there in all different varieties that you might find amusing. Some may seem a bit adult while others are derived from pop culture. So for your reading pleasure, here I welcome you to look at all the different varieties of kitschy garden gnomes.

1. Walter Sobchak Gnome isn’t happy whenever one is over the line.

You think that garden gnomes were supposed to be rather docile and pleasant. However, Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski was anything but. So I think it’s ironic that there’s a garden gnome of him. Expect him to pull out his gun and rant about his time in Nam.

2. It seems that purple macdaddy gnome seems to make it his business with all his garden hos.

“You want manic pixie dream girls and water sprites? Well, I got them bitches with me on fairy dust. Oh, I’m sure they’re clean but you might want to use protection.”

3. Of course, this gnome is off to the beach in his green mankini.

Let’s just say, I wonder if Sacha Baron Cohen regrets setting off this male swimsuit trend when he wore the thing in Borat. Yeah, not the kind of swimsuit I’d want any man to wear.

4. This hippie gnome really gets into his tie dye, man.

Not sure if the cone hat goes with the tie dye. But with the glasses and his beard, I’m sure he’d fit in at any music festival quite nicely. Still, I’d stay out of the 1969 Woodstock festival if I were him.

5. In Florida, this gnome always knows that the beach with the lawn flamingos is where it’s at.

Of course, I’m sure if this gnome were a regular sized guy, he’d just blend in. Well, if he lost the cone hat. Still, embodies a lot about what people say about Florida which is a silly place.

6. This gnome only wishes that your garden be filled with peace, love, and rock & roll.

Of course, I’m sure he’s on some kind of weird grass in the yard. Probably the kind of gnome you’d want for your marijuana garden. Still, the cone hat really stands out for him.

7. Of course, gnomes tend to be human like the rest of us with some having less misgivings than others.

Sure it’s nice that they love each other and keep the spark alive. But I think they really need to take it somewhere else. I mean you don’t want to freak out the neighbors.

8. Seems like a gnome zombie plague has infected the garden lately.

And it seems that zombies are partial to the dark meat since it’s well known what happens to black guys in horror movies. Of course, I’m sure black gnomes are no different.

9. Of course, while gnomes are often benign in the garden, sometimes this isn’t the case. So be prepared.

Yeah, you should always beware of the gnome carrying an ax behind his back. But you should defend yourself before these murderous lawn warriors strike.

10. Nevertheless, even gnomes tend to prefer the convenience of a flush toilet as well as a bit of light reading while on the john.

Still, I wonder if that book he’s reading has another purpose. Because I don’t see a roll of toilet paper anywhere in this.

11. “All we are saying, is give weeds a chance.”

Not sure why he has a bird on his guitar or why he’s on the bird feeder. Either way, he seems quite groovy, man.

12. Of course, these skeleton gnomes tend to make great Halloween lawn decor.

Of course, they’re so thin that they don’t have any skin on them. Yet, I love whatever’s holding that basket, by the way. Quite clever.

13. Seems like this stoner gnome really enjoys lounging around and smoking his grass.

Of course, he’ll probably feel right at home wherever it’s legal. Yet, if it’s not, you should probably just let him smoke his joint in the bushes. Not sure about that tunic though.

14. Seems like this nerdy gnome is really into D & D and larping.

Of course, he’s also a Trekkie and has an atom on his shirt. Seems like he’s on a quest to attend the legendary festival of Comic Con. That, or he’s probably wanting to attend a nerd convention nearby.

15. Seems like Leather Daddy gnome really enjoys watering his garden.

Of course, you really don’t want to look at him from behind. Yeah, he sometimes tends to let it all hang out where the sun isn’t supposed to shine. Not sure why.

16. Seems like these hairy cons just broke out of the Big Greenhouse.

And it seems they’ve taken some animals with them for sustenance. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if they have any idea of how to get over that fence.

17. Of course, Gnome Elvis will always make your garden party a smash, even if he’s just an impersonator.

Of course, I’m sure all the qualudes and peanut butter and banana sandwiches will catch up to him somehow. Still, I’m sure that cone goes great with that polyester jumpsuit. Still, that look seems like Elvis from the Vegas years.

18. For those who want super protection for their gardens, perhaps they should try a superhero gnome.

Now these consist of Super Gnome, Bat Gnome and Captain Americgnome. Still, I have to warn you that while they may guarantee protection, they’re also known to inflict a lot of collateral damage.

19. Beware the vampire gnome with his red eyes and fangs, especially when lurking among the tall grass and leaves.

Of course, he may look nice during the daytime. But when it gets dark, he won’t hesitate to bite anyone’s neck to suck their blood. Yes, this is one scary gnome, indeed.

20. Of course, this gnome rider’s ride tends to travel at a snail’s pace these days.

Yet, this should surprise nobody these days since he’s riding a snail. However, he should watch out for any form of salt if he wants his snail ride to last for a long time.

21. “Gnome, Gnome on the range….”

Of course, I’m not sure if he’s a cowboy gnome or a rancher gnome. Then again, despite being in cowboy clothes, I’m not sure if he even works with cows. Because if he don’t have cows, then he’s no cowboy.

22. Of course, what better way to protect your lawn and garden than with Wonder Gnomeman.

Unlike Wonder Woman, at least she doesn’t wear skimpy outfits to kick ass. Also, she loves flowers, too. And she has a nice yellow cone hat.

23. Even gnomes must dress for business while at their jobs in the corporate marketplace.

Nevertheless, you have to love how their cone hats go with their gray suits. Yet, I’m sure their workplace dress codes would want them to lose the hats and shave. Also like how they’re on their cell phones.

24. Of course, you best be on your back if you don’t want to mess with the Gnome Manchu.

Of course, the Fu Manchu isn’t a great Asian stereotype. But I found his long mustache so funny that I couldn’t resist leaving this one out.

25. “You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life/See that gnome, watch him, diggin’ the Dancing Gnome.”

Of course, while the Swedish group was a great success in the 1970s, they split in the 1980s due to internal strife. Still, I’m sure they’d be remembered for all those pop hits which formed the soundtrack for Mamma Mia!.

26. Of course, you’ll need a metal detector gnome in case a vandal plants a landmine in your yard.

Then again, he could just be looking for treasure. Of course, he should realize that certain electric and water systems may also be underground, too. Don’t want to make a mistake there.

27. Let’s just say whoever thought you can look gangster in a white beard and cone hat?

As they say, “I didn’t choose the gnome life. Gnome life chose me.” Yes, and I’m sure it’s a rough time in the inner gardens with high crime and shrooms to be exact.

28. Of course, no gnome could say no to the one and only Big Bad Bertha.

I’m sure what she lacks in moral propriety she makes up for in helping girls develop a positive body image. Still, not sure if this makes my post unsafe for work or what.

29. Of course, we can’t forget about the hit HBO TV show Game of Gnomes.

Let’s just say that if that’s a depiction of the Sean Bean character, my guess is that he’ll be dead within a year. Still, I really like the throne and the shovel he’s holding. But I’m sure you don’t want to go into his garden, especially during weddings.

30. For those concerned Jews out there, I’m sure Shalom Gnome will make your garden kosher.

Of course, this is probably the most Jewed out gnome out there. He even has a Star of David with a Hebrew inscription on his belt for God’s sake. Don’t give him pork or shellfish though.

31. And you thought gnomes enjoyed the sound of flutes and nature sounds. But not always.

Hear they play at the garden club circuit on Friday nights as well as jam at the recording studio during regular business hours. Still, there have been rumors that their lead singer was arrested for shroom possession. Drummer was also busted for weed and grass as well.

32. Of course, you should never mess with a garden gnome armed with an AK-47.

Now I’m sure you want to get off his lawn at the sight of him. Then again, he’s small so I’m sure the ammo wouldn’t hurt much anyway.

33. When it comes to swimming, some gnomes just want to let it all hang out.

Unless he’s planning to visit a nude beach, I’m sure he’ll have a hard time swimming in an area where nobody’s watching him. Also, kind of wish he’d at least wear some pants.

34. Seems like this gnome is really enjoying himself during his island getaway in Hawaii.

Of course, I’m sure he’s bound to make the Travelocity Roaming Gnome jealous. Still, if he has more Margaritas, he’ll soon be searching for his lost shaker of salt.

35. Of course, there’s always that gnome who tends to travel with a dark passenger and have a thirst to kill.

I’m sure nobody wants to mess with the Dexter gnome if he’s in your garden. Still, he tends to kill his victims on the cutting board, which is fittingly enough. Nevertheless, he uses much less plastic than the one on TV.

36. Seems like even the gnomes want to take pictures of themselves these days.

Still, being a classic gnome, I doubt if he’d be recognized on Instagram among the others. Also, I wonder where he got that smart phone.

37. Of course, some gnomes don’t know when they have had way too many.

Seems like all that hard tree sap can get to them if they’ve had enough. Guess it’s best to leave sleeping dogs lie even if their butt cracks are showing.

38. Now this meditating gnome is a true Zen master of the highest degree.

It’s said he’d sit there meditating for so long that the birds would perch in his beard. Guess he’d have to clean it when he’s done since the bird might leave him an unpleasant surprise.

39. Of course, this gnome looks as black as a tar baby.

I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something a bit racist about this gnome. I’m not sure what. Could it be because it looks painted in blackface and is drinking booze? Yeah, that’s probably it.

40. Seems like somebody either forgot to put sunscreen or has caught too many UV rays.

Now that’s a terrible sunburn. Guess taking a nap on the beach isn’t really a good idea for the fair skinned. Not sure about covering your eyes with blueberries.

41. Seems like this garden gnome really enjoys doing the hula in a grass skirt.

Then again, he seems like he’s been on too many island spirits or possibly trying to do the Macarena. Hope that he doesn’t show what’s under his skirt because I’m afraid to look.

42. Seems like this gnome and his old lady were meant to spend their lives on the open road.

Funny how they have gnomes for bikers these days. They seem like they’re the people you’d least expect to be in this type of tacky lawn decoration. Still, hope these 2 don’t belong in a gang.

43. Now this little gnome wish all you to feel the Pittsburgh steel.

For some reason the molten steel he’s pouring seems to resemble Cheez Whiz. Still, you’d find that a lot of college and pro sports teams have their own collectible gnome like this one for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

44. Seems like someone has to bend over to get a temperature.

I’m sure she’s taking his temperature because this display looks older. Then again, there could be something kinky going on and what she’s holding could be a butt plug instead of a thermometer.

45. Seems like some garden creep has been on way too much Viagra lately.

Nevertheless, at least he’s wearing underwear. However, he’s seems to be a pervert with a pension for exhibitionism, especially when he’s erect. Yeah, I’d stay away from him if I were you.

46. Seems like this gnome is either trigger happy or on a shooting rampage.

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to see him on a bad day. Reminds me of the Al Pacino character from Scarface. Oh, wait, that is derived from Scarface.

47. Hipster gnome really thinks your android is sow mainstream.

Then again, I always picture hipsters as young people, not with white Santa Claus beards. Still, I’m sure that iPhone cost a fortune for those aren’t cheap to buy or have repaired.

48. This undead garden gnome has a strong preference for venison.

Now that’s really disgusting. And pretty demented if I do say so myself. Also seems to like his deer meat real raw and bloody.

49. Of course, even the gnomes have to do dirty work once in a while.

Of course, there’s a better way to cleaning dog shit than a pooper scooper. It’s called leaving it there. Still, I’m not sure about him smoking a cigarette though.

50. Seems like someone has been drinking a little too much wine the night before.

Of course, waking up with a hangover could be worse in some situations other than this. Seems that glass of wine was too big for him for some reason.

51. “I am the gnome who knocks.”

Yes, this is a gnome Walter White. However, I’m sure when he got in the meth business, the whole garden gnome neighborhood went to shit. Still, wonder if they have a Jesse Pinkman gnome.

52. Of course, zombie gnomes always prefer to help themselves to some pink flamingo.

Man, I didn’t know those lawn flamingos could bleed. Always assumed they were made from plastic. Pretty demented though.

53. Now this gnome is a fine police officer of the law.

If it wasn’t for the cone hat, I would’ve assumed him to be an actual police officer. Love the star badge on his hat though.

54. Of course, while some gnomes are said to protect gardens, this one’s on the move to kill.

Yeah, he has a deadly streak in his eyes as well as murder on the mind. He also has a big machete in his hand as far as I can see. Or maybe it's just a knife.

Yeah, he has a deadly streak in his eyes as well as murder on the mind. He also has a big ass knife in his hand.

55. This gnome family shows us that the family that slays together, stays together.

So while the father is armed with an ax and a dueling flintlock pistol, the mother appears to carry a loaded shotgun and the baby in her back harness. Still, I’m sure the gun he has can’t be fired without being reloaded.

56. “I’m gonna rock n’roll all night, and garden party every day.”

I may not be a fan of KISS. But when I see them as gnomes or nutcrackers, I have to include such depictions on my blog just for giggles.

57. Of course, on private matters, some gnomes can be really kinky in the garden.

Now this is pretty disturbing. Didn’t know BDSM fetishes could extend to garden gnomes. Of course, I wonder if they have a dominatrix garden gnome to come with him.

58. While most gnomes aren’t built like Adonis, this one is totally ripped.

Wonder if he’s on any performance enhancing drugs of some sort. I mean most bodybuilders are to some extend. Hell, a lot of athletes are, too like Lance Armstrong.

59. Of course, some gardens may contain a naturist gnome lurking around.

I’m sure the beard and belt are in place to cover up his naughty bits. Still, they call it the place where the sun don’t shine for a reason.

60. Of course, this ninja gnome is bound to hit anyone with a shovel at any moment.

Actually most ninjas didn’t wear black in real life since they functioned like covert agents and snipers. They usually dressed as peasants so the invisibility was psychological. However, this garden gnome ninja is just perfect.

61. Finally, a garden gnome promising change I can believe in.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure whether this Obama gnome is wearing a cone hat. Then again, maybe it was how this picture was photographed.

62. Seems like someone either doesn’t like flamingos or likes to eat them for dinner.

Now this is just demented if you really think about it. But I kind of find the gnome using the cleaver to behead a flamingo quite amusing, in a sick and twisted kind of way.

63. Like they say, it’s not over until the fat lady sings.

However, I have no idea why she’d wear a bikini and rabbit ears. I mean it doesn’t seem like appropriate attire for an opera singer as far as I’m concerned.

64. Seems like the gnomes really take to skate boarding and its cultural trimmings these days.

Oldest looking skater boy I’ve ever seen. Also, shouldn’t he be wearing a helmet? I mean he shouldn’t want to risk a head injury.

65. Of course, you still have to face some obstacles even in places where no gnome has gone before.

Seems like Captain Kirk and Gorn are about to go at it in this. One of the most memorable moments in Star Trek history. Also, Gorn almost looks no different.

66. Of course, you are all cordially invited to attend this royal gnome wedding.

So let me get this straight. The groom is already wearing a gone hat on his head. So why is he holding a top hat that’s obviously too small for him? I don’t get it. Don’t get it at all.

67. Of course, even in the gnome world, it seems that certain Starfleet members are more expendable than others.

Of course, for those who know anything about Star Trek: The Original Series, you’d be familiar with the term, “redshirt.” Of course, in Star Trek, if a previously unknown Starfleet character wears a red shirt, there’s a strong chance that he’s never coming back.

68. For the Japanese garden, these ninja and sumo wrestling gnomes will do you great service.

I don’t know about you. But they seem more or less resemble the Seven Dwarfs than anything from Japan. And I don’t think either of them have any Asian features either.

69. Seems like this guy has come straight out of Gnomeland Security.

Then again, he could be a sheriff or state trooper. Still, I’m sure intruders wouldn’t want to mess with

70. I call this one, “the Skanky Bride Gnome.”

Yeah, I don’t really care for swimsuit weddings. But I’m not sure why she’d have that set up for the bottoms. Oh, wait, is that her underwear? So why isn’t she wearing a dress, then?

71. For a Stripper Gnome, she sure knows her way around a pole.

I might’ve posted a picture with this one before on my lawn ornament post last year. Still, it’s quite funny and worth giving a closer look to. Also, I lover her glasses, by the way. Kind of similar to how many would imagine strippers in the Harry Potter world to look like in some respect.

72. Unlike some garden gnomes, this tiki one belongs in his island garden paradise.

Okay, pretty sure that’s a pretty offensive stereotype here. I mean blue paint, tusks in nose, shrunken head, grass skirt, staff, etc. Kind of reminds me of the savage natives you’d see in movies.

73. Seems like these two gnombres are having a fiesta.

Love the mariachi hat and the turned boots. Still, shouldn’t the lady’s hair be free flowing? It just seems off that she’s wearing a cone hat.

74. I’m sure these gnomes of horror movie villains will make a killer addition to your garden.

Seems like this ensemble includes many of the slasher-horror favorites. There’s Freddy and Jason as well as Leatherface. And I’m not sure who that one in the mask is. Really not sure.

75. These two gnomes are on a mission from God.

Yes, these are gnomes of the Blues Brothers from 1970s SNL. Look pretty much like the originals save for the beards and cone hats. But you know what they say about garden gnomes though.

76. Of course, you’d need a strong Viking warrior gnome to defend your garden.

Unlike some Viking depictions, at least this one doesn’t have helmet horns for a change. Of course, he does have a wooden hammer and a white beard.

77. Presenting the royal gnomes.

Now that obviously has to be a take off of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. Of course, the Prince Philip one is depicted in traditional gnome fashion.

78. Of course, even gnomes could be prone to worshipping the devil or listening to death metal music.

Now that looks quite terrifying. I don’t mean the hat with the upside down cross. I mean the fact that his face and beard are painted like that which terrifies me.

79. Now this steampunk garden gnome seems to come fully automated.

Now is this an automaton or a gnome in a metal encased suit? Perhaps we’ll never know for sure. Like the drill head though.

80. Of course, these Star Trek gnomes will allow your garden to go where no man has gone before.

Of course, I’m so used to Kirk and Spock being so clean shaven and thin (well, for the most part). Still, I wonder whether they have gnomes of the rest of the main cast as well. Maybe I’ll never know for sure.

	John A. Fenner on Signs of a Sociopath (with Don…
	judy thompson on The Magnificent Judgment at…
	The Very Naughtiest… on NSFW Elf on the Shelf (a. k. a…
	మానిఫెస్ట్ డెస్టినీ:… on The Indigenous Peoples of Nort…
	The Wonderful World… on The Wonderful World of Flower…

The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: sculpture

The Haystack World of Straw Sculpture

The Confederate Monuments Must Come Down

The Funerary World of Coffins

The Spouting World of Water Fountains

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Ice Sculpture (Second Edition)

The Enchanting Winter Wonderland of Snow Sculpture (Second Edition)

Frosty the Snowman and His Friends (Second Edition)

The Special Delivery World of Mailboxes

The Carving World of Wood Sculpture

Fun with Garden Gnomes