The Windswept World of Wind Chimes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on April 17, 2016

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A key decoration you might see outside buildings during the spring and summer are wind chimes. These are are a type of percussion instrument constructed from suspended tubes, rods, bells or other objects often made of metal or wood. They tend to be suspended along with a weight which the tubes or rods can strike when they or another wind catching surface are blown by the natural air movement outside. And since Southwestern Pennsylvania has no shortage of wind on most days, wind chimes tend to be popular as garden and porch ornaments around these parts. My grandmother particularly likes them as I’ve seen when I go to my grandparents’ house. However, while hanging wind chimes in the west began with the Romans, they’ve also been associated with decorating in India, China, and Japan. As of today, I tend to see a lot of wind chimes on sale. Yet, many of these tend to have the conventional look. So this is where I turn to Pinterest which brings me to a whole world of more creative wind chimes that many people made themselves. And I share some of these with you today.

There’s something fishy about this one.

Well, the chimes on here are made from a ceramic fish. Not sure if the pieces fit together. But it’s not bad.

2. Who knew you can make chimes from plastic bottles.

Sure they’re probably from a craft store of some type. But they sure look pretty.

3. A sun wind chime always has to have some bells.

Well, this one only has 3. I don’t think this one was handmade. But I like it so it goes on this post.

4. Some wind chimes have all jingles.

I bet this one makes a lot of noise when it’s really windy out. In my area, I’ve known quite a few.

5. Sometimes you have to top your wind chime with a mosaic flower.

I’m sure the chimes are attached at the flower. But the flower is so beautiful.

6. The chimes on this one can be quite colorful.

These are shaped like feathers. But they’re plastic because feathers don’t make much of a sound.

7. Gold chimes sit quite well with a wire butterfly.

You see a lot of spring motifs with wind chimes. This wire butterfly has marbles for the colors.

8. This owl has all the bells.

Bound to ring whenever the wind is blowing. Sure to be a hoot.

9. Sometimes chimes can take the shape of squared chains.

I’m sure this was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Not sure if I’d want to have this in a rainstorm. Probably not.

10. When it comes to chimes, you can’t go wrong with bottles.

Kind of resembles a flying saucers with large bottles attached in a bead mesh. But it’s a wind chime and a rather large one at that.

11. For more metal in wind chimes, you can always go with gears.

Not sure what the tubes are made out of. But the gears sure look nice in them. Great for any steampunk home.

12. Who knew that you could put some bright crystals on a wind chime?

I think these crystals are fake and were bought at some craft store. Still, like how they shine and how they go well with this chime so well.

13. Pink chimes are fine for a light breeze.

You see a lot of crystal wind chimes like these. Sure it’s beautiful. But it’s probably quite delicate, too.

14. When you can’t buy a wind chime, it helps to make one with beads.

This one apparently glimmers in the sunlight. Wonder how it would do in the rain. Only one way to find out.

15. A shell wind chime like this should always come with some bells and forks.

You tend to see a lot of cutlerly in wind chimes. Not sure if it enhances the aesthetic or brings out the sound.

16. A wind chime like this one is great for hosting a garden tea party.

This one is a wind chime of a teapot with tea cups. But the best part about this one is that it’s purple.

17. I suppose this is a wind chime for anyone in a potting mood.

Yes, this wind chime is made from flower pots. Guess these won’t be used for planting anymore.

18. Sometimes smaller heart wind chimes are better.

This one may seem quite delicate compared to the others. But at any rate, you have to love this one.

19. Beads and straw could always make a fine wind chime.

Well, this is different. Okay, that’s probably wicker, not straw. Or is wicker straw? I’m confused.

20. There’s no lovelier wind chime than one with beads strung to a bottle.

Not sure if this is a great view. But you have to admire the craftsmanship on this. This is especially if the bottle is glass.

21. All you need to make this wind chime are crystal beads and wire.

If it had a light in it, you’d almost think it was a lamp. However, it’s certainly not.

22. When it comes to wind chimes, sometimes the chimes below can have quite the color.

Sometimes the chimes might not always look great at the top. But you have to admire the beads and string on this.

23. When it comes to chime beads, it helps if you have a variety of colors.

Well, at least this one looks quite festive. Hate to see this one get tangled.

24. Sometimes it helps that everything matches.

This one is pink with flowers all over it. Sure it’s plastic but it’s pretty.

25. Who says you can’t put dragon flies on your chimes?

Dragonflies aren’t the kind I’d have in mind for wind chimes. But these look great on the squares. Lovely.

26. On a wind chime like this, your heart is in chains.

As you see, all the links are in the shape of a heart. Looks quite rusty though.

27. If you like boating, then this wind chime should go great with your sailing ship.

Not sure if I’d want this on a boat during a hurricane. But it certainly looks rather maritime.

28. Sometimes a chime can just be a bottomless bottle.

Well, this seems simple enough. Still, love the silver butterfly and the jingle.

29. As far as wind chimes good, you can’t go wrong with ceramic tiles.

You can even paint some of them before you glaze them. Not sure if I’d want to put this one outside since I don’t want to ruin it.

30. Now this is the kind of wind chime for those with a green thumb.

This one has beads coming out from a watering can. Not sure why the wire ends are there. Probably for decoration.

31. For a wind chime that looks so antique, blue roses should give it an additional touch.

I don’t think this is handmade. After all, the metal on this seems fairly manufactured. But I do think it’s very beautiful.

32. Sometimes all you need for a wind chime is a funnel cake pan and some necklace chains.

That has to be a large wind chime as far as I could see. Still you have to love the stuff they have for the chimes part.

33. For an easier wind chime, just string some bead strands on a wooden stick.

The beads on these strands seem to follow a pattern. And each have a blue rectangle at the end.

34. If you like wind chimes, perhaps hang this one outside your kitchen window.

This one consists of a rolling pin and utensil chains. A bit large for any window, don’t you think?

35. What strung from this stick gives the illusion of rain.

This looks very pretty. Seems like someone really worked hard on this. But this appears quite delicate.

36. This woman hung up her wind chime in a big way.

And I guess she did it with step ladder. Or crane. Definitely crane.

37. This wind chime holds the keys.

However, don’t bet that any of these will fit in the locks. Because they were probably bought at a craft store.

38. It’s said that clanging cutlery can bring music to your ears.

I guess this one is more for the kitchen inclined. However, I have a better use of cutlery than putting it on wind chimes. It’s called putting food in your mouth.

39. If you like dragonflies, this one should suit you.

Well, there’s a dragonfly on top and pieces at the chime parts. Quite beautiful though.

40. Well, this wind chime is quite festive.

Wow, this is so beautiful that I’d just want to keep it indoors 24/7. Because I don’t want to rain to ruin it. And in my neck of the woods, you get that a lot.

41. Sometimes a wind chime needs a little extra something.

Well, the ends of these are of some folding strainer from the kitchen. If that’s what they call it.

42. There’s something fishy about this wind chime.

Well, this one has a fish on top of all these chime pieces. And all in green and blue.

43. For a wind chime like this, you can decorate it in any number of ways.

This one also has vibrant colors. Not as bright or vivid as some of the others. But lovely enough for me not to leave this one outside.

44. Seems like some wind chimes have all the bells.

And it seems like this one has lots of tiny ones. Wonder how long it took to make this.

45. You never know how many large beads you can string up for a wind chime.

These beads seem to resemble stones. Wonder if this wind chime is meant to represent a waterfall.

46. I guess these rainbow pots aren’t for planting.

Yes, this is another flower pot wind chime. But this one has some bees and butterflies. So it’s different than the other one I showed you.

47. Don’t know what to do with the extra silver? Make a wind chime out of it.

Yes, I’m sure this may look quite amazing. But on Downton Abbey, seeing this would make Carson flip out in anger. After all, you don’t put a bullion spoon on a garden wind chime. At least on his watch.

48. Sometimes a wider wind chime makes all the difference.

Seems like this one was made from old jewels. Well, old costume jewels. So pretty.

49. For those who like nature, this wind chime will give you all the green you ask for.

Almost seems like a green moss fading into a white rock. Still, it’s quite pretty.

50. If you love purple flowers, you’d love this wind chime.

Not sure how it sounds when the wind blows. But this looks quite beautiful, especially since it’s purple.

51. For a colorful and flowery flair, you can’t go wrong with this wind chime.

Yes, I know it took a lot of time to make this. But I think this is better kept indoors since I wouldn’t want to ruin it.

52. Nothing makes better music in the wind than a wind chime of goblets.

Wow, this is sure stunning. Also another way to piss off Carson on Downton Abbey.

53. Sometimes what makes music in the wind has to glimmer in the sunlight.

Well, these look beautiful. Wonder if they’re made of glass. If so, I wouldn’t want to drop it.

54. When it comes to some wind chimes, it helps if the chime parts are part of the decoration.

These seem to be painted in flowers and they seem suspended on some kind of cage. Or that’s as far as I see.

55. Nothing makes a more elegant wind chime than anything attached to a golden heart.

Well, this is strung on chains, color stones, and bells. Nevertheless, this is lovely.

56. I’m sure your garden would look better with a wind chime of this colorful bird.

And yet, another wind chime I wouldn’t want to expose to the elements outside. Very beautiful if I do say so myself.

57. Sometimes an old door knob makes a great wind chime.

Well, this almost looks crystal clear that you barely notice it through the window. Still, you have to love it.

58. If you live near the seashore, you might like a wind chime of shells.

Well, I guess these shells can make some kind of music. Nevertheless, I think it’s quite creative.

59. Sometimes you could make a lovely wind chime on vinyl.

However, before you use a vinyl record in a craft project, make sure it’s one with horrible music on it that won’t be missed. Let’s just say there’s a lot of bad records out there.

60. Whoever thought you could make a wind chime from a silver dish?

And yet, another way to get Carson pissed off at you at Downton Abbey. To him, you don’t use silver to make these fangled things.

61. Got an old vase you don’t know what to do with? Make a wind chime out of it.

Well, this one is an upside down vase with a weight in it. Still, love the blue color.

62. This wind chime is meant to bring out the colors of the rainbow.

This one has pieces that are linked for wind chime. And yes, it certainly looks pretty while gleaming in the sunlight.

63. You never know what you can make with a basket.

Apparently, you can make a rather cool wind chime with a basket. Simply breathtakingly lovely.

64. You never know what’s coming out of this pitcher.

Now this looks quite whimsical. Love how this one pours the flower out. Love the design on the pitcher, too.

65. This wind chime has a sailboat on the waves.

Well, this one has blue beads for water and fish to go with it. And it’s topped with a glass sailboat, too.

66. This wind chime has to be as pretty as a peacock.

Because it’s a peacock wind chime. And as we see, sound comes when the wind blows through the feathers.

67. I’m sure you’d want this wind chime on a bright, sunny day.

Because this one is of the sun and the chimes below are the rays. And yes, it sure looks bright.

68. Such wind chimes like this are said to be as cute as a button.

This one consists of chimes that have buttons strung on them. And yes, this is pretty cool if you ask me.

69. Guess this one is serving tea for a few.

This wind chime uses cups, saucers, and spoons as bells. And yes, it’s one you might see in a Wes Anderson movie.

70. As a wind chime, there’s nothing more radiant than a purple sunflower.

And radiant it is, indeed. This one is simply stunning, especially since it’s mostly in purple.

71. Guess this wind chime brings so many fish in the sea.

Well, this looks quite interesting. Not sure if the top part is a jellyfish. Quite cool.

72. While many wind chimes have celestial themes, you haven’t seen one like this.

Then again, you’ve probably seen one like this at every garden store. Still, you have to like this.

73. This is the kind of wind chime for the patriotic at heart.

Well, if you’re American, anyway. Then again, most of my views come from the States.

74. Anyone who’s an artist at heart will enjoy a wind chime like this.

This is made up of so many shapes and colors. Nevertheless, this is so lovely.

75. On top of a wind chime like this, you see a flower.

This one has the colors of the rainbow at the chimes. Like the flower design, too.

76. Sometimes it all starts with a stunning design.

This one has rainbow beads and a lovely design. Wonder how long it took to make this.

77. If you love wind chimes, this painted butterfly one will delight your home.

This one is so intricately done. However, it’s probably made of glass. Wouldn’t want this one outside.

78. If you love bells, this wind chime is for you.

This one also has a deer on top. And I’m sure you’d enjoy it.

79. On top of this is a colorful spiral.

Seems like whoever made this spent a lot of time painting the designs. Nevertheless, this is so radiant and stunning.

80. This angelic wind chime is lined with beads of pink roses.

Sure this one probably wasn’t hand made. But it’s sure beautiful. Besides, who wouldn’t want this.

The Quaint Gardening World of Greenhouses and Garden Sheds

Posted by historymaniacmegan on April 12, 2016

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In some places while spring has sprung, here in Southwestern Pennsylvania, the weather has been so unpredictable that some of these April showers have become snow showers. And no, I’m not kidding about that. In fact, I woke up one morning to find my whole backyard covered in snow not too long ago. However, this chaotic weather has set people’s gardening schedule back for a few weeks as far as I know. Thankfully, for those who have them, you have greenhouses which are supposed to keep plants alive all year long. Or at least sprout them until they’re ready for the outside. In my house, my mom once grew some of her plants on a table in the basement under a light. We did have a place to keep plants outside near the herb garden but it didn’t hold. And let’s just say, my family is too poor for a greenhouse or a garden shed. But plenty of people do have them. And for this post, this is what I bring you.

A small wooden shed with some light might give everything your plants need.

Except this doesn’t seem to have sufficient walls for insulation. In my area, those are essential.

2. Sometimes it helps if your garden shed goes well with the patio.

Wait, is there furniture in there? I thought garden sheds and greenhouses were supposed to be for plants. Not people.

3. A wooden garden shed will always make a rustic garden addition.

If it’s painted like this, all the better. Yes, it certainly looks quite quaint indeed. Like a storybook garden.

4. When it comes to greenhouses, only the grandest can suit Mr. and Mrs. Washington.

This is what the greenhouse looks like at Mount Vernon. I know it looks like a mansion. You get that.

5. Nothing stands out in a garden like a shed of blue.

This is lovely. Wonder if it was made from a kit. But still, I like it.

6. As we all know, red really shows up in a garden.

However, if you live where I do, bright colors aren’t encouraged. Seriously, a building with bright colors will be seen as tacky.

7. A yellow garden shed like this will give you what you need.

This one seems rather small and simple. But I’m not sure about the color going well with the surroundings.

8. As far as greenhouses go, this one is covered in vines.

However, you can bet this one won’t look great in the winter. I can guarantee that since my front house is covered in ivy.

9. Sometimes in potting sheds it helps to start small.

Sure this one may look like a multi colored phone booth. But it’s for plants.

10. Of course, you can always go with a rustic touch.

To me, it seems like a lovely garden shed. To others, it’s a mere shack. To my dad, it’s a waste of firewood.

11. If you need a step up, this might be what you need.

Yes, it’s a little small. But it sure looks quite lovely in a garden and quite homey, too.

12. Sure this shed might not seem like much, but it’ll do.

Yes, I know it’s not suited for Southwestern Pennsylvania weather. But you have to admire its construction.

13. With this one, you can always open the windows for a little light.

And you can shut them if it gets too cold outside for the plants. Nevertheless, love the colors on this one.

14. Have an old edifice on your property? Make a greenhouse out of it.

Well, Pinterest says this was an old barn. Still, love what they did with it, especially how they added the windows.

15. As we all know, every greenhouse needs windows.

And this one has windows all on one side so the plants can get their fill of sunlight. Wonder if this is a shop. Wouldn’t be surprised.

16. Who says that a small garden shed can’t have style?

I guess this one is supposed to match the house. However, I really like the top windows and roof. Very intricate.

17. Sometimes a small white shed is a simple place to rest.

Sure it’s not much to look at. But I think it goes very well with the garden surroundings.

18. This is just an old wooden shed.

This one looks quite old and is probably just used for tools. Guess there are no plants here.

19. In the Victorian Era, some estates had grand greenhouses to behold.

However, this one hasn’t been used for decades. And it has been abandoned as well as fallen into disrepair.

20. Sometimes wooden siding can make a lot of difference.

Yes, it’s a bit small with a few windows. But at least the plants would love it in there.

21. It’s always said that some plants do well in the shade.

Well, this shed looks as colorful as it is rustic. Love the roof and the stonework outside.

22. When it comes to building a greenhouse, all you need are wood and windows.

Sure it’s an unconventional shape as you see. But hey, it works. So you can’t complain.

23. Who says a garden shed can’t have an ornate porch?

This one looks old and almost abandoned. Well, if it wasn’t for the light and flowers. Beautiful though.

24. For a greenhouse, a glass one is utter perfection.

Sure this one appears to be made from windows which may not be very sturdy. But will sure let the light in.

25. This one may not have much walls but provides plenty of shade.

This one looks quite quaint. Probably not suited for where I live. But I like it.

26. Bright red always creates a rustic feel.

This one seems decorated for fall. But I do like how the roof and the doors stand out.

27. It always helps if a garden shed is surrounded by your garden flora.

Not sure about the plants growing on the shed. But it sure looks pretty. Like the door and windows.

28. A garden shed like this one is quite quaint and adorable.

I don’t think this was an old schoolhouse as Pinterest might imply. But I’m sure it goes quite well with its garden surroundings.

29. A pink garden shed always goes well with the peonies.

This one even has a heart on the roof. Yes, it looks like something a little girl might design. Well, if it wasn’t a garden shed.

30. This greenhouse will always float your boat.

Wonder what they keep in there. Water plants? I think this one might be from England but I’m not sure.

31. A greenhouse sure would look splendid with a nice brass roof.

Wonder how old this one is. Hope the roof doesn’t get rusty. Because this one is quite beautiful.

32. Sometimes a flat roof greenhouse is all you need.

I like the door on this. Very intricate to say the least. Not sure about the building shape.

33. A greenhouse always needs some glass and a nice canopy.

Sure it might resemble a fancy pavilion. But I’m not sure if the walls are of glass or thin air.

34. Sometimes you can put all your tools in a small white garden shed.

Sometimes the lines between garden sheds and greenhouses are blurred. Sometimes not. Still, I think this is pretty.

35. Sometimes a garden shed could use a wooden tower.

Except for the light inside, this one seems nearly abandoned. Then again, the look is probably intentional.

36. You can build a greenhouse with old windows.

Well, it doesn’t look like much. But if you’re growing plants, sometimes design doesn’t matter.

37. For greenhouses, a weather vane makes a fine finishing touch.

This one consists of mostly windows. But this looks quite quaint and rustic for any country garden.

38. It doesn’t hurt if you build a greenhouse at the side of a rock.

Yet another Victorian greenhouse that’s abandoned. But at least this one has plants in them.

39. Who says a garden shed can’t have porch and pots outside?

Yes, it looks as if it’s an abandoned shack in a garden. Well, if it weren’t for the blooming flowers.

40. Sometimes on a brick shed, a toadstool roof will do.

I think this is an old picture of a garden shed. However, it should be perfect if you have a fairy tale like house.

41. A blue greenhouse always looks lovely with some flowers on it.

Well, the flowers are on the roof. But this looks quite lovely if you ask me.

42. Sometimes you just have to have a greenhouse to go with the patio.

Love the woodwork on this. Love how it matches the greenhouse and the furniture.

43. If you want your greenhouse to stand out, use bright colors.

Well, this certainly goes well with the garden. However, in my area, this wouldn’t fly.

44. Sometimes a small blue garden shed with red windows will do just fine.

Like how they have boxes for yellow flowers. Like the walls on this, too.

45. A greenhouse always seems rustic with green trimmings.

Well, the siding doesn’t seem remarkable. But I do think this lovely, especially near the flowers.

46. Nothing makes a better garden shed unless it’s covered with vines.

Yes, the wood doesn’t seem the greatest. But you have to love the ivy on this thing. Lovely.

47. There’s nothing more quaint than a greenhouse of stone and stucco.

This has wooden frame windows and a small balcony. Love the roof on this, too.

48. A greenhouse always looks rustic with wooden window frames.

Sure it might look quite small. But it surely looks lovely next to these garden plots.

49. A glass section is great for a greenhouse like this.

Yes, I know it kind of seems fairly modern. But I think it’s lovely in its own way.

50. A red roof is always a fine addition on a garden shed.

This one has a red shingle roof. Also has some vines growing on it. Lovely.

51. This greenhouse uses a quaint glass dome for plants.

Not sure if it’s an old greenhouse design. But I do think it’s very beautiful.

52. Window walls and roofs a good greenhouse make.

Seems like the only non-window fixtures here are two large wooden doors. Still, quite quaint.

53. Flowers can always stand out in a white greenhouse.

This one has a lovely flowers out front. But it seems to glimmer in the sunlight like a marble statue.

54. A small brick garden shed always looks great on the patio.

I know it looks old and run down. But it sure goes well with its surroundings.

55. Doesn’t hurt to set plants on a garden shed of wooden siding.

Well, it certainly resembles a little cabin. But it has so many windows with white frames and a shingle roof.

56. For some greenhouses, they ‘d sure go great with the patio.

Not sure if was made from a kit. But it sure looks quite beautiful. Love the glass roof.

57. A quaint wooden garden shed always needs an archway entrance.

Not sure what’s in here. But I do like the green trim on this building.

58. There’s nothing more quaint than a garden shed of white and red.

This is made from aluminum that’s painted on. When it’s sunny, some of these white walls tend to look pink.

59. A curved roof always looks lovely on a greenhouse.

The curved roof sort of gives an East Asian flair. But the windows look nice on this one, too.

60. A greenhouse like this always seems one with nature.

Yes, it looks like a small, quirky cabin. And it has tree furniture to go with it.

61. A blue garden shed will always be lovely at the end of the garden path.

And this one appears to be covered in ivy. Love the garden surrounding it though.

62. Pink and blue windows always go well on a greenhouse.

Wonder what this one looks like with the lights coming from inside. Must be magnificent.

63. This small garden shed has its own little porch.

Well, seems like this was made from a kit. Probably could only fit plants and tools. But it’s quaint.

64. A white greenhouse could always use a red shingled roof.

This is very beautiful, especially under the blue sky. Love the plants nearby.

65. A yellow garden shed goes well with a sprawling wildflower patch.

Well, I think this shed makes the garden seem more sunny. Love the window frames.

66. To protect your plants, put them in high places.

This is a greenhouse tree house if you will. Nevertheless, it looks completely stunning in its surroundings.

67. No greenhouse is complete without a metal roof.

Mostly because metal is effective at absorbing heat. Also beats assembling shingles.

68. A greenhouse doesn’t always have to be big to keep plants.

This one was made of old windows. And it fits in a garden box.

69. Never seen a garden shed with a roof like this one.

Are those shingles? Sure looks like it. Still, love the door on this building.

70. Any lovely greenhouse can always use a few columns.

I suppose this is another Victorian greenhouse. And it seems abandoned. But it’s in better shape than the other ones I’ve shown.

71. Guess this one is black, white, and red all over.

Love how the black trimmings stand out with the red. The white windows look great, too.

72. A green garden shed sure looks lovely covered with snow.

Seems like the white roof goes well with the snow on the ground. Of course, it might also be covered in snow, too.

73. A wooden shed can always use a few flower boxes.

Well, it’s quite small. But it does look quite pretty with the flowers being planted in it.

74. A greenhouse could be made from windows and doors lying about.

Well, this one might seem like a shack. But I’m sure the plants would love the light coming through the windows and doors.

75. A stone garden shed always has to have a roof of sod.

Well, it’s not quite grass and it’s not quite hay. So it’s sod at least in my opinion.

76. Nothing makes a lovely garden shed than a whimsical purple one.

The roof seems rather unusual on this one. But you have to love how its color goes with the flowers.

77. A greenhouse of metal and glass can never be as ornate as this.

This one is either quite old or built by someone with too much time on their hands. Man, you have to love the designs on this.

78. Sometimes a garden shed needs a few pink touches.

This is rustic enough for a garden. And it has some pink in the windows to stand out and blend with the flowers.

79. A stone garden shed can always blend in with any garden landscape.

And sometimes the garden shed might become part of the garden. But it’s away from the main part as you can see.

80. For a large impression, you cant’ go wrong with an octagon greenhouse in your garden.

Of course, you’d have to have a lot of money for this. But I’m sure it’ll provide the kind of insulation your plants need in cold weather.

Fun with Garden Gnomes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 19, 2015

Perhaps, no tacky garden artwork gets as much notoriety as the garden gnome. Sure they don’t look like figures of the ideal human form. Rather they tend to be little Santa Clauses with boots, pants, blue tunic, and a red cone hat. But somehow people seem to like them enough that they’ve become icons of their own for some reason or another. Now a gnome is a mythological creature spirit introduced by Paracelsus in the 16th century as a spirit of Renaissance alchemy and magic. They are typically said to be small, humanoid creatures that tend to live underground. Sometimes it’s said that they’re willing to help out the garden at night. Yet, they didn’t become the lawn ornaments we know today until the 19th century and didn’t take their present form until after WWII as inspired by Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Nevertheless, they’re often the target of pranks in which people would “kidnap” the gnome and “return it to the wild” with Italy having a Garden Gnome Liberation Front. There are also instances in which garden gnomes have been “kidnapped” and sent on trips around the world which formed the basis of “Where’s My Gnome?” series of ads for Travelocity starting in 2008. And it’s the reason why we have the Travelocity Gnome. Still, in 2008, they arrested a guy in France for stealing 170 of these things. There is even a gnome reserve in England, home to over 2,000 gnomes and was mentioned in the Guinness Book of World Records. Nevertheless, there are plenty of garden gnomes out there in all different varieties that you might find amusing. Some may seem a bit adult while others are derived from pop culture. So for your reading pleasure, here I welcome you to look at all the different varieties of kitschy garden gnomes.

1. Walter Sobchak Gnome isn’t happy whenever one is over the line.

You think that garden gnomes were supposed to be rather docile and pleasant. However, Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski was anything but. So I think it’s ironic that there’s a garden gnome of him. Expect him to pull out his gun and rant about his time in Nam.

2. It seems that purple macdaddy gnome seems to make it his business with all his garden hos.

“You want manic pixie dream girls and water sprites? Well, I got them bitches with me on fairy dust. Oh, I’m sure they’re clean but you might want to use protection.”

3. Of course, this gnome is off to the beach in his green mankini.

Let’s just say, I wonder if Sacha Baron Cohen regrets setting off this male swimsuit trend when he wore the thing in Borat. Yeah, not the kind of swimsuit I’d want any man to wear.

4. This hippie gnome really gets into his tie dye, man.

Not sure if the cone hat goes with the tie dye. But with the glasses and his beard, I’m sure he’d fit in at any music festival quite nicely. Still, I’d stay out of the 1969 Woodstock festival if I were him.

5. In Florida, this gnome always knows that the beach with the lawn flamingos is where it’s at.

Of course, I’m sure if this gnome were a regular sized guy, he’d just blend in. Well, if he lost the cone hat. Still, embodies a lot about what people say about Florida which is a silly place.

6. This gnome only wishes that your garden be filled with peace, love, and rock & roll.

Of course, I’m sure he’s on some kind of weird grass in the yard. Probably the kind of gnome you’d want for your marijuana garden. Still, the cone hat really stands out for him.

7. Of course, gnomes tend to be human like the rest of us with some having less misgivings than others.

Sure it’s nice that they love each other and keep the spark alive. But I think they really need to take it somewhere else. I mean you don’t want to freak out the neighbors.

8. Seems like a gnome zombie plague has infected the garden lately.

And it seems that zombies are partial to the dark meat since it’s well known what happens to black guys in horror movies. Of course, I’m sure black gnomes are no different.

9. Of course, while gnomes are often benign in the garden, sometimes this isn’t the case. So be prepared.

Yeah, you should always beware of the gnome carrying an ax behind his back. But you should defend yourself before these murderous lawn warriors strike.

10. Nevertheless, even gnomes tend to prefer the convenience of a flush toilet as well as a bit of light reading while on the john.

Still, I wonder if that book he’s reading has another purpose. Because I don’t see a roll of toilet paper anywhere in this.

11. “All we are saying, is give weeds a chance.”

Not sure why he has a bird on his guitar or why he’s on the bird feeder. Either way, he seems quite groovy, man.

12. Of course, these skeleton gnomes tend to make great Halloween lawn decor.

Of course, they’re so thin that they don’t have any skin on them. Yet, I love whatever’s holding that basket, by the way. Quite clever.

13. Seems like this stoner gnome really enjoys lounging around and smoking his grass.

Of course, he’ll probably feel right at home wherever it’s legal. Yet, if it’s not, you should probably just let him smoke his joint in the bushes. Not sure about that tunic though.

14. Seems like this nerdy gnome is really into D & D and larping.

Of course, he’s also a Trekkie and has an atom on his shirt. Seems like he’s on a quest to attend the legendary festival of Comic Con. That, or he’s probably wanting to attend a nerd convention nearby.

15. Seems like Leather Daddy gnome really enjoys watering his garden.

Of course, you really don’t want to look at him from behind. Yeah, he sometimes tends to let it all hang out where the sun isn’t supposed to shine. Not sure why.

16. Seems like these hairy cons just broke out of the Big Greenhouse.

And it seems they’ve taken some animals with them for sustenance. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if they have any idea of how to get over that fence.

17. Of course, Gnome Elvis will always make your garden party a smash, even if he’s just an impersonator.

Of course, I’m sure all the qualudes and peanut butter and banana sandwiches will catch up to him somehow. Still, I’m sure that cone goes great with that polyester jumpsuit. Still, that look seems like Elvis from the Vegas years.

18. For those who want super protection for their gardens, perhaps they should try a superhero gnome.

Now these consist of Super Gnome, Bat Gnome and Captain Americgnome. Still, I have to warn you that while they may guarantee protection, they’re also known to inflict a lot of collateral damage.

19. Beware the vampire gnome with his red eyes and fangs, especially when lurking among the tall grass and leaves.

Of course, he may look nice during the daytime. But when it gets dark, he won’t hesitate to bite anyone’s neck to suck their blood. Yes, this is one scary gnome, indeed.

20. Of course, this gnome rider’s ride tends to travel at a snail’s pace these days.

Yet, this should surprise nobody these days since he’s riding a snail. However, he should watch out for any form of salt if he wants his snail ride to last for a long time.

21. “Gnome, Gnome on the range….”

Of course, I’m not sure if he’s a cowboy gnome or a rancher gnome. Then again, despite being in cowboy clothes, I’m not sure if he even works with cows. Because if he don’t have cows, then he’s no cowboy.

22. Of course, what better way to protect your lawn and garden than with Wonder Gnomeman.

Unlike Wonder Woman, at least she doesn’t wear skimpy outfits to kick ass. Also, she loves flowers, too. And she has a nice yellow cone hat.

23. Even gnomes must dress for business while at their jobs in the corporate marketplace.

Nevertheless, you have to love how their cone hats go with their gray suits. Yet, I’m sure their workplace dress codes would want them to lose the hats and shave. Also like how they’re on their cell phones.

24. Of course, you best be on your back if you don’t want to mess with the Gnome Manchu.

Of course, the Fu Manchu isn’t a great Asian stereotype. But I found his long mustache so funny that I couldn’t resist leaving this one out.

25. “You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life/See that gnome, watch him, diggin’ the Dancing Gnome.”

Of course, while the Swedish group was a great success in the 1970s, they split in the 1980s due to internal strife. Still, I’m sure they’d be remembered for all those pop hits which formed the soundtrack for Mamma Mia!.

26. Of course, you’ll need a metal detector gnome in case a vandal plants a landmine in your yard.

Then again, he could just be looking for treasure. Of course, he should realize that certain electric and water systems may also be underground, too. Don’t want to make a mistake there.

27. Let’s just say whoever thought you can look gangster in a white beard and cone hat?

As they say, “I didn’t choose the gnome life. Gnome life chose me.” Yes, and I’m sure it’s a rough time in the inner gardens with high crime and shrooms to be exact.

28. Of course, no gnome could say no to the one and only Big Bad Bertha.

I’m sure what she lacks in moral propriety she makes up for in helping girls develop a positive body image. Still, not sure if this makes my post unsafe for work or what.

29. Of course, we can’t forget about the hit HBO TV show Game of Gnomes.

Let’s just say that if that’s a depiction of the Sean Bean character, my guess is that he’ll be dead within a year. Still, I really like the throne and the shovel he’s holding. But I’m sure you don’t want to go into his garden, especially during weddings.

30. For those concerned Jews out there, I’m sure Shalom Gnome will make your garden kosher.

Of course, this is probably the most Jewed out gnome out there. He even has a Star of David with a Hebrew inscription on his belt for God’s sake. Don’t give him pork or shellfish though.

31. And you thought gnomes enjoyed the sound of flutes and nature sounds. But not always.

Hear they play at the garden club circuit on Friday nights as well as jam at the recording studio during regular business hours. Still, there have been rumors that their lead singer was arrested for shroom possession. Drummer was also busted for weed and grass as well.

32. Of course, you should never mess with a garden gnome armed with an AK-47.

Now I’m sure you want to get off his lawn at the sight of him. Then again, he’s small so I’m sure the ammo wouldn’t hurt much anyway.

33. When it comes to swimming, some gnomes just want to let it all hang out.

Unless he’s planning to visit a nude beach, I’m sure he’ll have a hard time swimming in an area where nobody’s watching him. Also, kind of wish he’d at least wear some pants.

34. Seems like this gnome is really enjoying himself during his island getaway in Hawaii.

Of course, I’m sure he’s bound to make the Travelocity Roaming Gnome jealous. Still, if he has more Margaritas, he’ll soon be searching for his lost shaker of salt.

35. Of course, there’s always that gnome who tends to travel with a dark passenger and have a thirst to kill.

I’m sure nobody wants to mess with the Dexter gnome if he’s in your garden. Still, he tends to kill his victims on the cutting board, which is fittingly enough. Nevertheless, he uses much less plastic than the one on TV.

36. Seems like even the gnomes want to take pictures of themselves these days.

Still, being a classic gnome, I doubt if he’d be recognized on Instagram among the others. Also, I wonder where he got that smart phone.

37. Of course, some gnomes don’t know when they have had way too many.

Seems like all that hard tree sap can get to them if they’ve had enough. Guess it’s best to leave sleeping dogs lie even if their butt cracks are showing.

38. Now this meditating gnome is a true Zen master of the highest degree.

It’s said he’d sit there meditating for so long that the birds would perch in his beard. Guess he’d have to clean it when he’s done since the bird might leave him an unpleasant surprise.

39. Of course, this gnome looks as black as a tar baby.

I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something a bit racist about this gnome. I’m not sure what. Could it be because it looks painted in blackface and is drinking booze? Yeah, that’s probably it.

40. Seems like somebody either forgot to put sunscreen or has caught too many UV rays.

Now that’s a terrible sunburn. Guess taking a nap on the beach isn’t really a good idea for the fair skinned. Not sure about covering your eyes with blueberries.

41. Seems like this garden gnome really enjoys doing the hula in a grass skirt.

Then again, he seems like he’s been on too many island spirits or possibly trying to do the Macarena. Hope that he doesn’t show what’s under his skirt because I’m afraid to look.

42. Seems like this gnome and his old lady were meant to spend their lives on the open road.

Funny how they have gnomes for bikers these days. They seem like they’re the people you’d least expect to be in this type of tacky lawn decoration. Still, hope these 2 don’t belong in a gang.

43. Now this little gnome wish all you to feel the Pittsburgh steel.

For some reason the molten steel he’s pouring seems to resemble Cheez Whiz. Still, you’d find that a lot of college and pro sports teams have their own collectible gnome like this one for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

44. Seems like someone has to bend over to get a temperature.

I’m sure she’s taking his temperature because this display looks older. Then again, there could be something kinky going on and what she’s holding could be a butt plug instead of a thermometer.

45. Seems like some garden creep has been on way too much Viagra lately.

Nevertheless, at least he’s wearing underwear. However, he’s seems to be a pervert with a pension for exhibitionism, especially when he’s erect. Yeah, I’d stay away from him if I were you.

46. Seems like this gnome is either trigger happy or on a shooting rampage.

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to see him on a bad day. Reminds me of the Al Pacino character from Scarface. Oh, wait, that is derived from Scarface.

47. Hipster gnome really thinks your android is sow mainstream.

Then again, I always picture hipsters as young people, not with white Santa Claus beards. Still, I’m sure that iPhone cost a fortune for those aren’t cheap to buy or have repaired.

48. This undead garden gnome has a strong preference for venison.

Now that’s really disgusting. And pretty demented if I do say so myself. Also seems to like his deer meat real raw and bloody.

49. Of course, even the gnomes have to do dirty work once in a while.

Of course, there’s a better way to cleaning dog shit than a pooper scooper. It’s called leaving it there. Still, I’m not sure about him smoking a cigarette though.

50. Seems like someone has been drinking a little too much wine the night before.

Of course, waking up with a hangover could be worse in some situations other than this. Seems that glass of wine was too big for him for some reason.

51. “I am the gnome who knocks.”

Yes, this is a gnome Walter White. However, I’m sure when he got in the meth business, the whole garden gnome neighborhood went to shit. Still, wonder if they have a Jesse Pinkman gnome.

52. Of course, zombie gnomes always prefer to help themselves to some pink flamingo.

Man, I didn’t know those lawn flamingos could bleed. Always assumed they were made from plastic. Pretty demented though.

53. Now this gnome is a fine police officer of the law.

If it wasn’t for the cone hat, I would’ve assumed him to be an actual police officer. Love the star badge on his hat though.

54. Of course, while some gnomes are said to protect gardens, this one’s on the move to kill.

Yeah, he has a deadly streak in his eyes as well as murder on the mind. He also has a big machete in his hand as far as I can see. Or maybe it's just a knife.

Yeah, he has a deadly streak in his eyes as well as murder on the mind. He also has a big ass knife in his hand.

55. This gnome family shows us that the family that slays together, stays together.

So while the father is armed with an ax and a dueling flintlock pistol, the mother appears to carry a loaded shotgun and the baby in her back harness. Still, I’m sure the gun he has can’t be fired without being reloaded.

56. “I’m gonna rock n’roll all night, and garden party every day.”

I may not be a fan of KISS. But when I see them as gnomes or nutcrackers, I have to include such depictions on my blog just for giggles.

57. Of course, on private matters, some gnomes can be really kinky in the garden.

Now this is pretty disturbing. Didn’t know BDSM fetishes could extend to garden gnomes. Of course, I wonder if they have a dominatrix garden gnome to come with him.

58. While most gnomes aren’t built like Adonis, this one is totally ripped.

Wonder if he’s on any performance enhancing drugs of some sort. I mean most bodybuilders are to some extend. Hell, a lot of athletes are, too like Lance Armstrong.

59. Of course, some gardens may contain a naturist gnome lurking around.

I’m sure the beard and belt are in place to cover up his naughty bits. Still, they call it the place where the sun don’t shine for a reason.

60. Of course, this ninja gnome is bound to hit anyone with a shovel at any moment.

Actually most ninjas didn’t wear black in real life since they functioned like covert agents and snipers. They usually dressed as peasants so the invisibility was psychological. However, this garden gnome ninja is just perfect.

61. Finally, a garden gnome promising change I can believe in.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure whether this Obama gnome is wearing a cone hat. Then again, maybe it was how this picture was photographed.

62. Seems like someone either doesn’t like flamingos or likes to eat them for dinner.

Now this is just demented if you really think about it. But I kind of find the gnome using the cleaver to behead a flamingo quite amusing, in a sick and twisted kind of way.

63. Like they say, it’s not over until the fat lady sings.

However, I have no idea why she’d wear a bikini and rabbit ears. I mean it doesn’t seem like appropriate attire for an opera singer as far as I’m concerned.

64. Seems like the gnomes really take to skate boarding and its cultural trimmings these days.

Oldest looking skater boy I’ve ever seen. Also, shouldn’t he be wearing a helmet? I mean he shouldn’t want to risk a head injury.

65. Of course, you still have to face some obstacles even in places where no gnome has gone before.

Seems like Captain Kirk and Gorn are about to go at it in this. One of the most memorable moments in Star Trek history. Also, Gorn almost looks no different.

66. Of course, you are all cordially invited to attend this royal gnome wedding.

So let me get this straight. The groom is already wearing a gone hat on his head. So why is he holding a top hat that’s obviously too small for him? I don’t get it. Don’t get it at all.

67. Of course, even in the gnome world, it seems that certain Starfleet members are more expendable than others.

Of course, for those who know anything about Star Trek: The Original Series, you’d be familiar with the term, “redshirt.” Of course, in Star Trek, if a previously unknown Starfleet character wears a red shirt, there’s a strong chance that he’s never coming back.

68. For the Japanese garden, these ninja and sumo wrestling gnomes will do you great service.

I don’t know about you. But they seem more or less resemble the Seven Dwarfs than anything from Japan. And I don’t think either of them have any Asian features either.

69. Seems like this guy has come straight out of Gnomeland Security.

Then again, he could be a sheriff or state trooper. Still, I’m sure intruders wouldn’t want to mess with

70. I call this one, “the Skanky Bride Gnome.”

Yeah, I don’t really care for swimsuit weddings. But I’m not sure why she’d have that set up for the bottoms. Oh, wait, is that her underwear? So why isn’t she wearing a dress, then?

71. For a Stripper Gnome, she sure knows her way around a pole.

I might’ve posted a picture with this one before on my lawn ornament post last year. Still, it’s quite funny and worth giving a closer look to. Also, I lover her glasses, by the way. Kind of similar to how many would imagine strippers in the Harry Potter world to look like in some respect.

72. Unlike some garden gnomes, this tiki one belongs in his island garden paradise.

Okay, pretty sure that’s a pretty offensive stereotype here. I mean blue paint, tusks in nose, shrunken head, grass skirt, staff, etc. Kind of reminds me of the savage natives you’d see in movies.

73. Seems like these two gnombres are having a fiesta.

Love the mariachi hat and the turned boots. Still, shouldn’t the lady’s hair be free flowing? It just seems off that she’s wearing a cone hat.

74. I’m sure these gnomes of horror movie villains will make a killer addition to your garden.

Seems like this ensemble includes many of the slasher-horror favorites. There’s Freddy and Jason as well as Leatherface. And I’m not sure who that one in the mask is. Really not sure.

75. These two gnomes are on a mission from God.

Yes, these are gnomes of the Blues Brothers from 1970s SNL. Look pretty much like the originals save for the beards and cone hats. But you know what they say about garden gnomes though.

76. Of course, you’d need a strong Viking warrior gnome to defend your garden.

Unlike some Viking depictions, at least this one doesn’t have helmet horns for a change. Of course, he does have a wooden hammer and a white beard.

77. Presenting the royal gnomes.

Now that obviously has to be a take off of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. Of course, the Prince Philip one is depicted in traditional gnome fashion.

78. Of course, even gnomes could be prone to worshipping the devil or listening to death metal music.

Now that looks quite terrifying. I don’t mean the hat with the upside down cross. I mean the fact that his face and beard are painted like that which terrifies me.

79. Now this steampunk garden gnome seems to come fully automated.

Now is this an automaton or a gnome in a metal encased suit? Perhaps we’ll never know for sure. Like the drill head though.

80. Of course, these Star Trek gnomes will allow your garden to go where no man has gone before.

Of course, I’m so used to Kirk and Spock being so clean shaven and thin (well, for the most part). Still, I wonder whether they have gnomes of the rest of the main cast as well. Maybe I’ll never know for sure.

The Little World of Miniature Gardens

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 22, 2015

While gardening can be quite an art form, there are plenty of people who can’t really have a garden of their own, possibly due to living in the city. There are some people who really don’t like to do all the hard yard work such as digging, planting, and weeding. And there are some who may not be able to grow a garden due to some health issue or simply can’t deal with the changing seasonal weather. Fortunately, there’s a growing trend in the realm of miniature gardening in which you build a garden landscape in the confines of a container or limited space of dirt consisting miniature structures and real plants. Since many tend to be in containers, you can tend to them year round but have a rather slow growth rate. Still, they can last up to 8 years without needing too much care besides watering the plants, of course. So for those who love gardening but hate gardening maintenance, this might be the kind of gardening for you which requires no backbreaking digging, no weeding, no garden pests, no chemical fertilizers or pest controls, and no need to clean out the dead foliage every spring. Now that’s the good news. Also, you can put your miniature garden in just about anything and take it indoors if the weather gets cold. The bad news, well, it can become a very expensive hobby once you add some of the accessories involved. Nevertheless, despite it being a seemingly recent trend, miniature gardening originated with the bonsai dish garden from Japan (which is actually no surprise to me since the bonsai gardens totally make sense. I mean we’ve all know that the bonsai is a Japanese tree). And it was at the Japanese Pavilion at the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair where they debuted in the United States in which these garden creations were featured in an article by The New York Times. Nevertheless, these little gardens immediately became popular in a lot of places this art form has been passed from one generation to the next as well as seen as an activity for families to do together. Still, it’s very much a subculture of its own with places you can buy plants and accessories as well as its own competitions (there’s at least one in the Boston Flower and Garden Show). Oh, and at some colleges, you can even take a class or workshop in it, too. Still, if you’re one of the creative green thumbs desperate for an outlet to express yourself, the this is for you. In this post, you’ll see a treasure trove of the small garden world filled with the green glory enchantment with none of the heavy yard work. So for your reading pleasure here is a treasure trove of specimens depicting the tiny life of miniature garden landscapes.

1. Flowers are in bloom in the tiny garden village, possibly in the spring.

Reminds you of the beautiful stone villages you see in fairy tales. Of course, this is a more large scale venture by some person who’s certainly not poor. Still, I wonder how you can get those very tiny flowers.

2. Here is a flower pot garden with two fawns in a forest clearing during the spring.

Now for those on a budget, this is a more financially manageable scene. Still, let’s hope those fawns have someone to look after them. Because you know what happened to Bambi’s mom.

3. Of course, you don’t always have to put a lot of plants in your garden patio.

Now the top layer consists of much which most people usually don’t put in their patio areas. But this is a rather idyllic scene on the birdbath. And it doesn’t use a lot of accessories in the process.

4. Seems like the fairies have hung their clothes out to dry.

And they seem to wash their clothes with pre-20th century washing technology. Seems like these fairies have never heard of a washer or dryer in any way, shape, or form. Still, if they want their clothes cleaned, shouldn’t they just use magic?

5. Not all miniature gardens need accessories. This one goes for a more naturalistic approach.

Now this is a lovely miniature garden that’s set up like a forest. But though there’s not much undergrowth under the bonsais, I’m sure the rocks give it a more realistic touch.

6. Now this miniature garden is very pretty when it lights up at night.

Now this garden really brings emphasis to the flowers which are simply beautiful. Man, I wonder how these light bulbs can be so small. Really gives you a lovely night impression, does it?

7. Is that bridge over a stream of water or gravel?

It’s not uncommon for garden miniatures to contain waterways made from gravel than actual water. Just because real water doesn’t really conform to aesthetics and would be absorbed by the plants.

8. When it comes to miniature gardens, a broken flower pot will do just as good as any.

While broken flower pots may not be used for regular plant, you can plant a miniature garden in one just fine, especially if you want it to include elevation like a garden path up to a house.

9. In a small garden plot, a reasonable space can be whole miniature garden village.

Now I’m sure this garden is in a warmer place since it probably wouldn’t last a winter where I live. Still, it’s very elaborate and beautiful with rows of grass, bushes, and gravel paths.

10. Now this rock garden has a lovely stonework path.

Now this really gives you an impression with the bench, birdhouse, and small water hole. Whether it’s supposed to be somebody’s yard or a public park, you can never be exactly sure.

11. Now this beautiful miniature garden seems like it’s taken from a mansion or some large fairy tale palace grounds.

Now I just have to love the beautiful waterfall on this, even if the water isn’t real. Still, I wish some of the dirt patches can have some greenery on it. But still, these gardens can get pretty elaborate if I do say so myself.

12. A garden like this can be any fairy’s dream, if one decides to adopt a more suburban lifestyle.

Now sometimes these are also called, “fairy gardens.” Not sure why because a lot of miniature gardens come in a variety of different types. So I used an all encompassing term.

13. While some miniature gardens are seen as hangouts for fairies, this one clearly seems to go to the birds.

Now I’m sure this isn’t for real birds since the birdhouses are so small. For places for birds to call home, see a previous post I have called “This Old Birdhouse.” Do it now.

14. A little patch like this is a miniature version of what every gardener needs.

Now this is a lovely miniature garden with a shed, place for seedlings, and even a scarecrow. Yet, you can tell which side is for flowers and which is for vegetables.

15. If it wasn’t for a container, I would’ve sworn this was a real place.

As I’ve said miniature garden designs can get very elaborate and this is no exception. Still, you would more likely see this as your next door neighbor’s place than a fairy though.

16. A faux water miniature garden like this is a fairy’s paradise.

Now I really like the flowers on this. And while the water may consist of a bunch of blue gravel, at least it looks better than white.

17. While an algae pond may be disgusting in real life, it’s not always the case in a mini garden.

Now in a real garden, such a scene would pretty much look like shit at certain times of the year. But in this scene, it’s quite beautiful and you don’t have to do a ton of maintenance.

18. A rusty wheelbarrow makes the perfect place for a miniature garden of a log cabin settlement.

Of course, this place has a lot of plants as well as some farm animals. Still, as a whole it looks wonderful. See I said that you can use any container for a miniature garden. Even a wheelbarrow.

19. Have your miniature garden near a tree? Put some windows and a door to pass it as a fairy house.

Other than the accessories, I’m sure this fairy garden didn’t cost much. Then again, I’m not sure if the moss was already there. Probably not.

20. Other than the path and the bridge, almost everything seems to be made from sticks here.

Now this was made from 2 flower pots with one on top of the other. Reminds me of some tropical paradise despite that this fairy seems to have his or her own vegetable garden.

21. A rustic wooden wagon makes an excellent planter.

Also, if your miniature garden is in a wagon, it’s easier to transport and you don’t have to worry about potentially dumping it, unlike a wheelbarrow. Still, it’s quite beautiful and an ideal fairy mecca as I see it.

22. A wooden bucket might not be good for much, but you miniature garden will thrive in it.

Seems like this is a little housing block we have here and a lovely one at that. Also seems like there’s a satyr underneath that toadstool.

23. Only in miniature can a castle garden stand in your back yard. Or front.

I don’t know about you, but if Albus Dumbledore had a vacation home in Florida, I think it would look exactly like that. Don’t know why he’d have one or what he’d do there. Still, it’s very pretty nevertheless.

24. In real life you’d swear this scene was of an abandoned place gone to shit. As a miniature garden, it’s a work of art.

For a person, a place like this life size would be one people would want to avoid at all costs (save maybe for a few idiot teenagers in slasher movies, particularly if they’re black guys {since they’re usually killed first}). For a fairy garden, it’s a beautiful nature scene.

25. You can always find beauty near the beach so why not integrate it with your miniature garden?

You can create all kinds of scenes with these mini gardens. Still, I’m not sure if those are real beach plants, but they go with the garden very well. Also love how the stones are used for ocean.

26. For Christmas, you can put your miniature garden in the festive spirit.

Yes, they have Christmas decorations for mini gardens. They have decor for other holidays, too. Well, you can keep these kinds of gardens all year round. There’s no weather to stop you.

27. Now this is a flower garden with its own fountain and fence all covered in ivy.

I’m sure that this comes from some decrepit estate or pleasure garden. But I think it’s quite beautiful to say the least.

28. Seems like the fairies are real soccer fans in these parts.

And they seem to really like to party from what I see on the patio. Also, that’s a very full bonsai tree. Really like the flags, too. And the dog.

29. On this miniature garden, everything seems covered with green.

Now this seems like a fairy hideaway you might see in Florida from my perspective. Yet, most of the “grass” you see is moss. But I think it’s quite lovely.

30. In a miniature garden, you can only get to the shrine when you climb the steps.

From a unbroken flower pot, this mountainside shrine would’ve been almost impossible. Though I know it would be almost impractical, it would’ve been nice to have a waterfall there.

31. You can make a miniature garden in almost anything, even a chair.

Seems that a lot of fairies tend to reside in this beautiful chair garden. The flowers are simply breathtaking in this.

32. Now this village is quite an idyllic miniature world, even if all the foliage seems overgrown.

This little corner has a church, a birdhouse, a wheelbarrow, and a happy little tire swing. Also, has a few little figures, too.

33. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a mini garden of Stonehenge.

Now I couldn’t pass this one up since Stonehenge is a very significant monument, especially in England. And no, I’m sure it wasn’t built by aliens. Sorry, History Channel.

34. As far as accessories go, they can be as small as you want them to be.

Now I really like the landscaping on this one. Seems like they planted everything on a carpet of grass and then added little structures and fairies on it.

35. As for furniture, you can always try wooden chairs of twig.

Now I like this kind of patio furniture. Quite rustic, I daresay. But I think the garden stuff and beehive is adorable.

36. A gardener’s work is never done. However, sometimes the watering can is up at the stick gate.

Lovely to see how this seems to be the beginnings a of a beautiful mini cabbage patch. Love the little wheelbarrow, birdhouse, and bird bath though.

37. When it comes to a mini wild flower garden, then you can let it be as overgrown as you please.

The flowers are simply beautiful on this one and I’m sure the grass isn’t just moss. Still, I really like the multicolored toadstools, even though they’re not real.

38. Inside this stone birdbath lies a miniature garden containing a smaller and more ornate bird bath.

Now this birdbath seems to have a little bird on its ledge while it’s surrounded by ivy. Still, at least the bird bath mini garden looks better than what’s inside an actual bird bath (which is disgusting).

39. Now this miniature garden has a pond, a bench, and a few nice pieces of shrubbery.

Now they may be little but these plants almost resemble real bushes for some reason. I also like the stonework on the patios. Fine landscaping here.

40. Just because we don’t use metal wash tubs for washing clothes, doesn’t mean you can’t build a garden in it.

Now I like the moss roof on that house along with the moss landscaping. Oh, and the hedgehog is quite cute, too. Seems like ideal fairy abode.

41. Among the tall grass and the plants, you can sometimes find a way to kick back and relax near the seashore.

Now this is a lovely seashore scene. Love the stone work on the path, the bike, and the ocean stones. Simply devine, it sure is.

42. Even in the white sand banks and shrines, the fairies will find a home wherever plants grow.

Now the river is a beautiful blue while the rainbow stones lead up to some zen garden like shrine. The bird seems filled, too.

43. When it comes to miniature gardens, you can’t go wrong with a waterfall. Even if there’s no actual water coming from it.

Now this almost looks like a real waterfall coming from the rock. Like the little house nearby, too by the way.

44. In a miniature garden like this, everything is always in its proper place.

Now this garden really seems like a wide field mostly consisting of vegetables. But there’s also a shed and greenhouse along with a little shed. Man, such an extensive collection of plants here.

45. Whether in a mini garden or in the front yard, there’s no place like home to a gnome.

Love how there are plants growing from out of the areas of the broken flower pot. Also, I think this gnome has very good taste in architecture.

46. A lovely pavilion will give any fairy some much needed shade.

Love the pig flying which I think is kind of funny. But I especially love the metal pavilion even if it doesn’t provide much shade.

47. In a miniature garden, the plants can just go about anywhere.

The little potted plants are so cute in this little pot. Love the bird hanging from the arch way, too. Seems that this one has plants all over the place.

48. In fairy gardens, you can’t go wrong with too many flowers.

I really love the flowers in this, especially since a lot of them are purple. Nice t o have some substitute for trees, too.

49. Even fairies tend to enjoy the game of baseball in their neck of the woods.

I don’t know about you, but a field in this shape wouldn’t be used for baseball games. But fairies have wings so it’s all good.

50. In this tree stump, you will find a beautiful miniature garden with everything fairies would want.

Strange how stumps tend to be taken out of their respective places whenever a tree gets cut down. Little did they know that you can make a little mini garden like this. I mean look at all the pretty flowers.

51. In mini gardens, there’s nothing that brings in the country spirit such as being down on the farm.

Now I’m sure it may not grow actual crops because farming is a bit more complicated. But it’s nevertheless adorable and less laden with pesticides.

52. Not all miniature gardens have to be forest oriented. This one creates a desert paradise in a flower pot.

Of course, this uses a lot of desert plants so whether this is a desert garden is any guess. But I’m not sure if I’d lay a finger on it because the plants mostly consist of cacti.

53. In a flower and garden shop, a large fairy garden is a great marketing strategy.

Of course, this mini garden should make it clear to everyone that it can become an expensive hobby. Still, love the flowers and stream in this.

54. If it weren’t for the pot, you would’ve thought this was an actual rocky landscape with a small pond.

Now I’m sure this set up didn’t really costs much, especially with the rocks which you can find anywhere. But it does seem like a piece of nature, does it?

55. A church in a garden like this has its own garden of Eden.

I’m sure any Christian fairies will certainly worship in that church. Love the flowers on this and how they tower the church and steeple. Kind of reminds you of Hawaii.

56. A desert gnome knows only peace and solace in his trailer home.

And it even has one of those tacky flamingo lawn ornaments. Then again, the gnome may just be an ornament, too. But I do love the desert scenery.

57. In mini gardens a plant would look just as fine in dirt as surrounded by sand.

Like how the sand seems so evenly raked like I’d never see at a golf course. Like the little plants in it, too.

58. Of course, what mini garden would be without its own water mill?

Funny how grass can grow so high even thought this tray is about as thick as some flat table displays. Guess mini garden plants tend to have very tiny roots.

59. Of course, if you live near a river, you’ll always have to have a canoe.

Now with the forest background, it almost looks like a house near a river. Well, if you take out the wooden box. Still, adorable.

60. When your kids grow up, they may not need their rusty red wagon. So use it to plant your miniature garden paradise.

Now this garden has so much going for it. I mean it has birdhouses, a wooden house, and glass toadstools. Oh, and the flowers are so beautiful, too.

61. What makes a better seaside garden than one of a desert coast?

Didn’t think you’d see cacti on the beach would you? By the way, I’m sure the seashells were real. Like the sand castle though.

62. With the right furniture and creativity, you can create a little miniature patio for your mini garden.

I’m sure this is set in somebody’s yard since the porch seems to have some colored stones encased in concrete. But I love how everything seems to go together here.

63. Though many miniature gardens tend to have tiny flowers, this doesn’t always have to be the case.

Now this garden contains a lot of flowers you’d see in any regular garden during the summer. Yet, it’s considered as such because of the two little lawn chairs and that it’s in a pot.

64. Now this desert seems as if it’s in an almost natural state in its own flower pot.

Seems to have a lot of cacti for a desert. But I’m sure you’ll never get a desert sunset with this one. Still, it’s quite beautiful to say the least.

65. Nothing would make the rich fairy an envy of everyone than a little mini garden mansion.

Kind of reminds me of a fairy garden murder mystery mansion. Really wouldn’t want to get inside. But I really like the landscaping on this.

66. Miniature gardens usually tend to be easy to carry, especially if they were created from a suitcase.

You might not want to take this to an airport. I mean the TSA wouldn’t take many precautions upon inspection. But it’s a cute little world you can carry around.

67. While many miniature gardens usually contain flowers, this one specializes in vegetables.

Okay, they may not be real veggies. Nor are they edible by any means. But still, it’s a pretty cute scene nevertheless. Hope it has a container though.

68. Under the ivy covered canopy, you will find a fairy park where they frolic.

Now I think this is put on some garden bench since I can see legs below the planter. Nevertheless, it’s quite pretty and I like the ivy on this.

69. Nothing makes a rustic patio look idyllic than wooden furniture, especially in fairy gardens.

Now the furniture really goes well with the path and the bonsai. Of course, the vines are painted by the way. But I’m not sure if it makes any difference.

70. Any Tolkein fan would find a miniature garden of Bag End would be almost a dream come true.

I’m sure that a die hard Middle Earth fan had too much time on their hands. Still, I’m sure this miniature Bag End is tended by no other than a miniature Samwise Gamgee.

71. For Christmas, celebrate the birth of Christ with this miniature garden nativity scene.

Of course, the figures were probably taken from an actual nativity set. But these gardens can stay indoors and last all year long. So you might as well put a nativity scene in there.

72. This wooden church seems to have its gates near the rocky shore.

Now this seems like a lovely atmosphere to have a church, especially a wooden one. Love the little gate near the shore. Probably based on some rocky New England coastline.

73. Nothing makes the ideal fairy town more than having it at the base of a tree.

Now I’m sure the fairies will get plenty of shade under that tree. Yet, even this sturdy tree couldn’t completely shield them from the elements of nature.

74. A little house always tends to be shadowed by large trees, even in mini gardens like this one.

Now this is from a broken flower pot in which the plants inside surrounding the house represent towering conifer trees. Hope the rock doesn’t do anything though.

75. If you want a garden easy to carry, then perhaps you should plant it in a basket.

Love the little swing on the basket handle as well as the flowers. Still, you have to like the wooden twig and branch chair, too.

76. You can create a whole world of nature from a very large teacup.

This bonsai really goes well with the small lupin plants if I stand corrected. Still, I think the little bench and coffee table is simply charming.

77. Even in a small gravel garden, it’s best to put a birdbath as a centerpiece.

Let’s hope the little birdies wanting to wash up don’t shit in this birdbath. Like the bench and sundial though.

78. Sometimes you can put patio furniture in a miniature garden you can only wish to put in your regular patch.

Now this patio furniture seems too finely painted for anyone to want to have in your outdoor patio. I mean there’s a chance that rain might wash out the lovely craftsmanship. Still, this is a quite beautiful garden in these flower pots.

79. A few statues in a garden can really enhance it beauty in many ways.

Now this one gives the impression that ruins are in the midst. Love how the bonsai really brings in the vibrancy of this. Not to mention, some of the plants, too.

80. In a garden shop like this, you might as well have a large mini garden village.

Now I’m sure this isn’t the whole mini garden as some of it is cut from the photo. But you can see how elaborate these mini gardens can really get.

The Wonderful World of Flower Gardens

Posted by historymaniacmegan on May 7, 2015

While it’s popularly know that April showers bring May flowers, you can’t really say that spring has sprung until you see the flowers, which really don’t seem to come up until May. Well, at least as far as the perennials go. Nevertheless, May is basically the time of year when people really pay attention to their gardens whether it be weeding or finding new flowers to plant. Now flower gardens have existed for centuries adorning the lawns of the grand estates and castles. And the Brits almost treat gardening as a state religion since gardening over there is serious business. Sure it was a way for aristocrats to show off their wealth since they had other people taking care of the landscape. Now it’s mostly seen as either a hobby or a chore for ordinary gardeners who love to see flowers adorn their place. My house in particular is covered with ivy because my parents though the brown brick work was ugly. However, most of time, they usually try to plant flowers that can withstand the elements because southwestern Pennsylvania is no paradise. It helps that it rains a lot during the warmer months along with every other month. Let’s just say the precipitation in the area does PennDOT and drivers no favors since summer is basically road season. Anyway, there are some places where the fine art of gardening is taken to an art form. So without further adieu, here are some of unique gardens out there.

1. Looks like someone spilled the flowers.

This is part of the Miracle Garden in Dubai which is one of the largest public gardens in the world as well perhaps runs among the world’s highest water bills. You’ll see a lot of scenes from this place since it’s like a garden theme park.

2. Of course, you may like adorning your house with flowers. But have you ever seen a flower house?

Of course, this is also in Dubai, where greenery like this is expensive as hell to look after. Still, like the lovely cars in the corner.

3. Heard of flower power? I give you flowered owls.

I wonder whoo is responsible for taking care of these? Still, they are quite beautiful and colorful despite being mostly green.

4. If you have an antique car that doesn’t work anymore, may I suggest planting flowers under the hood.

Seems like that old Volkswagen Beetle now has a new life as a flower planter. Of course, I wonder if neighbors still see it as a piece of junk.

5. Go into the forest with Bambi and his friends in the botanical gardens at Walt Disney World.

I’ve actually been to Disney World for a marching band trip in high school. I’m sure this display is in the animal kingdom since that’s certainly not Splash Mountain.

6. When your shitter don’t work anymore, perhaps repurpose your commodes for flowers.

Hey, I’m sure toilets might make okay planters. I mean they’re made from porcelain and have several open containers to them. And in some situations, I’m sure they’ll benefit from some organic fertilizer.

7. Nothing beautifies a flower garden more than putting your flowers in a wheelbarrow.

Now this is a beautiful picture. However, many people with wheelbarrows can’t do this since they actually use them for other things, like yard work.

8. What would a butterfly garden be without a flower butterfly?

Now I’m sure this won’t intimidate butterflies. But if the butterflies come, it might attract collectors who kill them with nail polish remover to put in their collections.

9. If you have a Volkswagen, why not decorate the whole thing with flowers?

For some reason, I can’t help thinking that this car is high on something. And I’m not sure if it’s Miracle Gro.

10. I’ve heard how some hippie vans contain pot plants, but this isn’t what I’ve had in mind.

Behold, the flowery van fit for any flower child. Of course, you probably can’t drive this thing if you wanted to. Might you might get high in it.

11. In the Netherlands, you need a garden park with tulips, just because.

This is from Amsterdam. Not sure if it’s a botanical garden or park because tulips are very big in the Netherlands.

12. Mr. Jolly Green Giant, meet your dream girl.

Of course, she tends to have a lot of flowers in her hair and lives near a waterfall. This is from the botanical gardens in Atlanta.

13. If you like dollhouses, you can make a little garden scene in a pot.

Now this is a quaint scene with a little house, clothes line, swing, and path. But I’m sure the flowers are all regular sized.

14. What giant garden statue woman wouldn’t be without her water birds?

I’m sure this is from a botanical garden in Montreal. I’m sure those birds aren’t native since I don’t remember seeing them from the Audobon book.

15. Of course, you can’t have a flower garden without giant peacocks.

This is from a botanical gardens in Iran from what I can see. Nevertheless, these peacocks wouldn’t have colors like that in the wild.

16. If you like flowers, why not have them on a canvas?

This is from the Bellagio Botanical Gardens in Las Vegas. Or as I called it, “the only place in Vegas that’s worth visiting.” Seriously, that’s a work of art there.

17. If you can’t use that old bright color chair anymore, perhaps put a flower pot in it.

Not sure if the pot and chair were spray painted or not. Either way, the flowers are certainly pretty.

18. Want blue flowers in your path? Try this.

Now this garden only consists of daffodils, tulips, and violets. Still, a rather beautiful sight if you think about it.

19. Of course, all garden plots should be bordered by hedges.

However, you can’t make the shrubbery grow too much. And I’m sure this set up sets a low limit. Still, it’s quite pretty.

20. When it’s spring, the trees in the garden have to have different color leaves and flowers.

Now this is from a botanical garden in Canada, possibly in the Pacific Northwest. This picture was probably taken during the early spring but it’s quite a stunning sight.

21. Got tin cans, why not use them as flower pots?

Sure cans might make good flower pots but I’m positive that size does matter in this case. Seriously, you’re better off using a coffee can than a soup one. And I’m sure these fall among the latter.

22. I give you a flower sculpture of a lizard in a tree.

This is from the botanical garden in Montreal. Forget what kind of lizard this is but I’m sure it’s natural habitat is the rain forests of South America. Definitely not an iguana because those are bigger and are vegetarians. This one eats bugs.

23. Speaking of reptiles, there’s a giant snake in this garden.

This is a flower sculpture of a cobra at a botanical garden in Atlanta. Nevertheless, while snakes are best avoided, they tend to be a necessary evil when it comes to gardening, especially when it comes to vegetables. Seriously, they eat the critters who would munch on your peonies any day of the week.

24. For small garden scenes, you might want to go with bonsai trees.

At first you might think it’s a little house in the country. That is, until you see that the entire scene is in a large pot.

25. Sometimes planting in a giant teacup can do your garden wonders.

And it seems that this giant cup is overflowing with flora. Not sure where this is located for there’s another one in the background.

26. Wonder how to stop that faucet from running. Wonder where the water comes from.

Yeah, I was asking how that faucet seems to appear out of nowhere. Then again, it probably has pipes hiding in the bushes.

27. Now that’s what I call a butterfly garden.

Sure you’ve heard of butterfly gardens. But have you ever heard of a garden shaped like a butterfly? Seriously, this is pretty cool.

28. Now this garden set up is so intricate and wild that you’d swear the landscapers were on acid.

Again, this is the Miracle Garden in Dubai known for it’s bizarre landscaping and very high water bills. Seriously, it seems like the kind of garden you’d see at a Dr. Seuss theme park, on steroids. Hey, at least I’m not showing the city’s architecture.

29. For those with a lot of flat tires lying around, why don’t you just paint them and use them for planters?

Now this seems to be a great DIY garden idea. However, I’m not sure about the chickens being in there. They seem to detract from the beauty.

30. This garden is so green that even the roofs have grass on them.

Now this is from the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens, which seems to have more flowers than you’d expect a place so far north. Still, not sure if it inspires anything from Stephen King.

31. Of course, if you want a fairy garden scene but have little space, may I suggest making one in your old bathtub.

Now this seems like a perfect place for a pixie with cobblestone walks and a cute little house at the end. Maybe we need to use old bathtubs for planters more often.

32. And here’s an even more intricate flower house with even brighter colors.

This is also from Dubai’s Miracle Garden, by the way. Yes, I’m sure admission there isn’t cheap by any means. Seriously, wonder how much money goes into their water bills since somebody has to pay for that.

33. Of course, this garden sculpture is inspired by a tale as old as time.

I’m sure this one is from EPCOT since it has the international towns. This one is France. Nevertheless, I guess the yellow flowers either died or haven’t come into bloom yet.

34. Now this flower garden shows the Circle of Life.

This is certainly from Disney but I’m not sure where. Still, I’m not sure if this scene perfectly captures Mufasa. But I’m sure Lion King fans everywhere would enjoy this.

35. Now this broken down car demonstrates the ultimate flower power here.

Now not only are there flowers in both the trunk and the hood, but the whole care is decorated with them as well. Talk about repressed gardener/art major here.

36. Seems like this bush is crying lots of flowery tears.

Either this was done by professionals or a repressed landscaper with too much time on their hands. Either way, it’s incredibly stunning and beyond my expertise.

37. Anything can be used for a flower pot, you just have to use your imagination.

I’m not sure about planting flowers in a toaster or shoes. Then again, hope nobody plugs the toaster in, especially during a thunderstorm.

38. Sometimes garden designs can be quite standard and sometimes very intricate.

Now this is from a botanical garden from Sri Lanka. And I’m sure that design pertains to something from their culture. Not sure what it’s supposed to be though.

39. Now this gardener seems to water the plants 24/7. Wonder why.

Oh, that’s a gardener flower statue. Now that’s interesting. Guess he doesn’t get around much.

40. You’ve heard of a flower bed. Well, wait until you see this.

Now this one takes the concept of “flower bed” a bit more literally than most. Of course, it uses an actual metal bed.

41. Of course, you can always have your flower bed with canopy.

Now this is the kind of flower bed I’m talking about. Love the flowers of it and the vines. But please, no critters.

42. At botanical gardens, you’ll always need a floral clock.

This is from a botanical garden place in Fort Worth. And yes, floral clocks can be quite big. They have to be.

43. Of course, nothing makes a flower garden more worthwhile than garden pandas.

Now I’m sure this is the only pair of adult pandas nobody has tried to mate. Mostly because they’re made from foliage. Still cute, though.

44. While canopies have been a main stay in flower gardens, hardly any contains as many umbrellas as this one.

Again, this is in the Miracle Garden in Dubai where the water bills are sky high. Still, it’s amazing how they got the umbrellas to stand like that.

45. This statue of Mother Nature has animals coming right out of her hand.

Yes, she has deer in one hand and an eagle in the other as horses run near the fountain. By the way, this is in Montreal.

46. Like a cauldron boiling over in your garden?

Yes, that’s only moss in the pot. And those are only flowers posing as flames. But it’s still pretty cool though.

47. Of course, some of us would rather have our flowers in a Grecian urn.

Now I’ve seen this in a lot of gardens and you can get it in a store. But these flowers sure are pretty though.

48. Hey, I didn’t know they built Stonehenge in the jungle. Thought it was just a European thing.

This is in a public botanical garden in Thailand. The Stonehenge is just a replica. Sorry, Ancient Alien conspiracy theorists (a. k. a. idiots).

49. If you need another planter, perhaps try your old bathtub.

Well, at least a tub somehow makes a great place for planting flowers. Still, love the selection in there.

50. Who knew you could plant flowers in your rubber boots?

I bet these are old rubber boots that no longer fit. And they don’t have much flowers on them. Still, they’ll go in the post.

51. To go with your flower bed, may I suggest a flower vanity?

I’m sure you can’t put clothes in this. But flowers it will do. Hope the rain doesn’t take the paint off.

52. What to do with that old log laying around? I know, plant flowers in it!

Now I think there’s a log like this in my yard. Wonder if I should ask my dad to hollow it out so my mom can plant flowers in it. Of course, he’d probably refuse.

53. Of course, you have to have flower baskets on your tricycle.

Now this is quite a garden party addition. Still, love the morning glories in the baskets.

54. Need a planter? Split barrels.

I’m sure these are pre made since they look kind of fake. Besides, nobody uses wooden barrels anymore. Nevertheless, these flowers are pretty.

55. When it comes to botanical gardens, many seem to be fit for a large palace.

Now this garden is from a large estate in France. And let me say, it’s freaking huge. Still, must have an army of pruners somewhere.

56. In many of these large botanical gardens, it’s sometimes customary to have a maze.

Now I’d really hate to get lost in that. Not sure where this one came from but the foliage is stunning.

57. Heard of a flower bed? Now here’s a flower piano.

Sure it’s a bit water logged and won’t play a note. But at least the flowers and waterfall are pretty.

58. Looks like someone spilled the purple flowers. I wonder who that may be.

From the Images: “Waterfall blue lobelia – No other blue flower can match the intensity of Waterfall Blue lobelia, a perfect floral imitation of water flowing from the pot. Riverdene Gold Mexican Heather gives a lime green color around the container, and Rustic Orange coleus in behind looks good with the heather and the intense blue of the lobelia.” Man, and I thought I said too much sometimes.

59. For those who don’t have a log cabin in the woods, this garden miniature is for you.

Of course, the water is made from blue stones you might get at a craft store. But everything else seems to be derived from organic material. Man, I wonder how they make these things.

60. Sometimes you just need a garden to match your patio.

Now this is a miniature garden containing a small patio with scooters. Still, it’s quite creative and probably made by someone with too much time on their hands.

61. This flower bed is said to be the place to dream.

Of course, you’d probably wouldn’t want to be caught sleeping in it. Or else, they’d probably kick you off their property. Still, it’s a fitting naturalistic approach to bedrooms.

62. Seems like the flowers have taken over the shed in this garden.

Now this may be small but it’s especially breathtaking. Of course, it helps that the flowers are purple in this case.

63. Looks like somebody messed with the wrong Viking.

Now I’m sure this is something from Norse Mythology or Wagner opera. Still, I’m sure the Vikings didn’t have antlers on their helmets. Well, at least they don’t have horns though.

64. I’m sure this stretch is for cyclists only.

Then again, I’m sure bikes wouldn’t be allowed either. Still, I like the daisies on this though.

65. Have an old rickety boat? Plant flowers in it.

Let’s hope this boat isn’t being used for a Viking funeral. Sure would hate to see the flowers engulfed in a fiery blaze on the water.

66. May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Barrelpot.

Yes, these have flowers in them as well as umbrellas on top. But these are so cute.

67. On this Beetle, the flowers run wild like the hippies who already have a cabin in the woods.

Now this Beetle is way groovier than the other couple I have on this post. Of course, you probably can’t drive in it though.

68. If you have any broken flower pots, create your own fairy pumpkin scene.

Now I’m sure the flowers aren’t real but the foliage is. However, it’s a perfect abode for small fairies, isn’t it?

69. When it comes to flower boats, some are fancier than others.

This is from a botanical garden in India and is quite large. Still, you have to love the pink and white stripes on this.

70. Now this peacock certainly has a purple train of feathers.

Now I know peacocks are male and don’t have tail colors like this. Nevertheless, these flowers are beautiful for this garden.

71. In the botanical garden scheme, sometimes they can come in all kinds of patterns.

This is from a botanical garden in Madeira which is in the Mediterranean. Still, quite lovely but I’m not sure about the colors.

72. When it comes to flowers, sometimes you’d find them in violins.

Of course, this isn’t a real violin. But I’m sure the flowers are beautiful in this planter.

73. In butterfly gardens, the flower butterflies can come in all shapes and sizes.

I’m not sure where this is from. But I love the flowers on this, especially the purple ones.

74. I’m sure these peabirds would get along fine.

Now I think this is from an indoor botanical garden. But I hope the lighter one is a peahen and not a peacock, not that there’s anything wrong with it. But it’s just that, well, never mind. It’s just it would be very awkward if one of them should be queen.

75. When it comes to flower boats, some can run quite wild.

Now I’m sure this rickety wooden boat isn’t good for the water. But that doesn’t mean you can throw it away if you can still plant flowers in it.

76. Another great planter for flowers is a little red wagon. Also great for transporting flowers, too.

Now I’m not sure whether the red wagon should be used for this. Nevertheless, the flowers are quite pretty to say the least.

77. You heard about planting flowers in a wheelbarrow. How about flowers in a wooden cart?

Now I’m sure the cart was painting and isn’t pulled by a horse. But the flowers are quite gorgeous in it.

78. When it comes to gardens, I’m sure nothing can flowers can make a purple hear.

Of course, this is probably in a botanical garden and erected from the ground. But it’s nonetheless beautiful, especially since it’s purple.

79. Of course, you can always put your flowers in a worn out baby grand piano.

I’m sure the lid provides these beauties with ample shade. I’m sure they are quite lovely in the sun just the same.

80. Wooden buckets make great flower pots, especially if you want to plant a lot of them in the same spot.

Of course, you can buy these large wooden buckets at any hardware or department store like Wal Mart or K Mart. Nevertheless, these flowers are quite beautiful in them.

Flowers You Wouldn’t Want in Your Garden (Other than Weeds)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 31, 2014

flower-garden-birdhouse

Spring and summer are great times for flowers since they’re seen as pretty and sweet smelling so it’s no wonder we put them in vases, use them as decoration for special occasions, and bestow on people as gifts saying, “I love you,” “Congratulations,” or “Get well soon.” Flower gardens are at their ultimate splendor during this time of year. Of course, many people do have pollen allergies but we don’t talk about that except on commercials for allergy medicine. Then you have flowers like dandelions, clover, and other wildflowers that are pleasing out on the road but many would consider weeds in a conventional flower garden, especially an English flower garden to be exact. Still, we have to accept the fact that not all flowers are the beautiful sweet smellers we all know and love. Let’s say there are several varieties of flowers and while most are of the conventional variety, there are some that smell bad, are ugly and/or creepy, are poisonous to humans and animals, cause a lot of ecological destruction as an invasive species, and just don’t make good additions to a beautiful flower garden for some reason. And it’s not because they’re weeds for despite their tendency to meet the Roundup Grim Reaper or the lawn mower, many of these wild flowers can still be seen as beautiful or allergenic. So without further ado, here are the flowers you don’t want in your garden and it’s not that they take other nutrients away from your perennials.

1. Titan Arum

Scientific Name: Amorphophallus titanium.

Native to: The rainforests of Sumatra in Indonesia

Desirable Features: Well, it’s a big flower with a massive bloom sometimes purple in color (since my favorite color is purple, this is a great thing).

Why wouldn’t you want it: This is known as one of the worst smelling flowers in the world that it’s one of two species nicknamed “the corpse flower” because it smells like a rotting, stinking corpse. While such an aroma would be considered heavenly by its principal pollinators consisting of flies and beetles (which lay their eggs on dead things), a flower smelling of rotting meat isn’t going to allow a man get laid on Valentines Day unless his date’s a botanist. Thankfully it blooms once every 4 to 6 years on average and its bloom only lasts a day or two.

2. Eastern Skunk Cabbage

Scientific Name: Symplocarpus foetidus.

Native to: The wetlands of Eastern North America from as North of Nova Scotia, to as west as Minnesota and as south as North Carolina and Tennessee.

Desirable Features: It has desirable foliage, a purple bloom, as well as medicinal properties which have been used to treat asthma, epilepsy, coughs, and rheumatism. So if you’re stuck in the woods away from civilization in Eastern North America, this would be a great flower to have at your disposal.

Why you wouldn’t want it: What gives this flower’s designation as “Eastern Skunk Cabbage” is that it gives away a bloom akin to a roadkill skunk. Such odor is desirable for potential pollinating flies but not for anyone else. It also doesn’t help that this flower is capable of thermogenesis (keeping itself warm), which not only lets it to bloom when there’s snow on the ground but also attract its pollinators by mimicking the heat generated by a fresh corpse. So unless you’re an asthmatic stuck near a wetland away from civilization in Eastern North America (or a botanist, naturally), you don’t want this.

3.The Rafflesia

Scientific Name: Rafflesia arnoldii. Genus has 27 other species.

Native to: The rainforests of Borneo and Sumatra in Indonesia. It’s one of Indonesia’s natural flowers where it’s a protected species.

Desirable Features: Has an impressive and beautiful bloom and produces the largest individual flower on earth.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Like Titan Arum, it’s also nicknamed, “the corpse flower” because it smells like a rotting corpse designed to attract flies to pollinate it (its red color also helps attract fly pollinators as well, since no one likes the repulsive smell of decaying flesh like a fly). Also, it’s considered a parasitic plant that lacks roots, stems, and leaves as well as doesn’t produce chlorophyll or photosynthesize. Rather it receives nutrients from a host plant (something that gardeners don’t want). Fortunately this flower dies after flowering for 5 days yet it’s seen as a rare species since a successful pollination for these flowers is a rare event in itself.

4. Hydnora Africana

Scientific Name: Same as regular name.

Native to: Southern Africa particularly the semi-arid regions.

Desirable Features: Heard their seeds and fruit are delicious as well as used for tanning leather and preserving fishing nets. Also used to treat diarrhea, dysentery, kidney and bladder complaints, and acne.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Due to it being a parasitic plant that only grows underground until flower, it’s no wonder it resembles a creature you’d see from the movie Tremors (that or female genitalia). Also, since the dung beetle is its choice pollinator, it gives an odor that smells like shit.

5. Bulbophyllum Phalaenopsis

Scientific Name: Same as regular name. Also part of a large genus of orchid.

Native to: New Guinea.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s an orchid and has a pretty color.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s a carrion flower known to smell like dead mice to attract flies. And there are many in its genus that smell like rotting flesh as well. So unless you’re an avid orchid collector or botanist, you probably wouldn’t want this in your flower garden.

6.Dead Horse Arum

Scientific Name: Helicodiceros muscivorus.

Native to: Corsica, Sardinia, and the Baleric Islands.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s considered an ornamental plant and has a nice bloom.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Let’s just say it’s called a “Dead Horse Arum” because it’s said to smell like a dead horse to attract flies as pollinators. Doesn’t help that these flowers bloom on bright sunny days so the aroma can spread everywhere like a field freshly spread with manure. This basically ruins the enjoyment of any flower garden in such atmosphere. Also, exhibits thermogenesis.

7. Stapelia Gigantean

Scientific Name: Same as regular name.

Native to: South Eastern Africa.

Desirable Features: Has a mesmerizing, fuzzy bloom which has enjoyed its share of cultivators.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Despite its beauty, it smells like rotting flesh to lure in flies. Culivators are generally advised to keep this plant outdoors so the fresh air could dilute the odor. So fellas, unless your girlfriend cultivates these plants or is a botanist, don’t give her this for Valentines Day.

8. The Voodoo Lily

Scientific Name: Dracunculus vulgaris.

Native to: Greece, the Balkans, the Aegean Islands, and the southwest Turkey.

Desirable Features: It’s widely distributed and cultivated because of its stunning beauty. Not to mention, it can withstand drought.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s a carrion flower that smells like rotting flesh to attract flies. Fortunately its stench lasts for about a day. Also, all parts of the plant are considered poisonous so and touching the plant could trigger skin irritation or an allergic reaction.

9. Birthwort

Scientific Name: Aristolochia gigantean. It’s genus has varieties of 500 species in diverse climates.

Native to: Brazil.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s purple and has a spectacular bloom. As an ornamental plant it’s notable as being hardy. Said to help heal wounds but little else and it’s not worth taking.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one, it gives a foul odor of rotting flesh to attract flies. Second, many of the flowers in this genus are seen as rather ugly. Third, while it’s been seen as an herbal medicine for centuries (especially in China), it’s a very poisonous plant linked to severe renal and kidney disease as well as cancer. Unfortunately, it continues to be used as an herbal remedy.

10. The Opium Poppy

Scientific Name: Papaver somniferum.

Native to: Asia and the Middle East.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s a medicinal plant as well as used for painkillers and is known for its ornamental beauty. Also, produces seeds which could be used as a condiment for many baked goods like buns and bagels.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Despite its beauty, this flower has a controversial reputation. It has an ambiguous legal status in the United States in which you can’t raise it for cultivation at a large agricultural scale without a license and only for medicinal purposes. Of course, reasons are obvious since these plants are a known source of heroin and other opiates. Still, this beauty managed to cause all sorts of problems throughout history and there’s no stopping it. I mean Great Britain managed to get Chinese people hooked on recreational opium during its empire days, which resulted in two wars. Ditto the War on Drugs in the US. As to why inner city drug lords don’t get into opium poppy cultivation, I don’t have the slightest idea.

11. Western Skunk Cabbage

Scientific Name: Lysichiton americanus.

Native to: Wetlands in the Pacific Northwest.

Desirable Features: It’s a beautiful yellow flower with great foliage. Can be used as a laxative as well as for sores and swellings but only in small quantities and its waxy leaves could be used for food preparation and storage.

Why you wouldn’t want it: While it doesn’t smell of rotting flesh, there’s a reason why it’s called the “Western Skunk Cabbage.” Since it attracts beetles and flies, it’s odor is akin to skunk spray even in old dried specimens. So if you came home from a hiking trip smelling like a skunk despite not seeing one, perhaps this flower may be a reason. Also, using too much of this plant as medicine can result in death.

12.Castor Oil Plant

Scientific Name: Ricinus communis.

Native to: The Southeastern Mediterranean Basin, Eastern Africa, and India.

Desirable Features: Has long been used as a medicinal plant as castor oil which has other uses (yet don’t consume it in its natural state). Also has lovely leaves and pink flowers.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s been listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most poisonous plant and produce ricin. On milligram of its poison could kill a human adult. Its pink pom-pom flowers are especially dangerous to children. Also, the KGB used this plant’s poison to silence opposition permanently.

13. Nepenthes Truncata

Scientific Name: Same as regular name though it is a pitcher plant.

Native to: The Philippines.

Desirable Features: Well, if you have problems with insects and vermin, I’m sure this carnivorous plant could come in handy.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one, it’s ugly and probably smells of rotten meat to attract its prey. Second, the fact its known to eat small mammals is rather unsettling, especially since its process to dissolve such animals in digestive enzymes has been seen.

14. Belladonna

Scientific Name: Atropa belladonna.

Native to: Europe, North Africa, and the Middle East.

Desirable Features: It produces pretty purple flowers.

Why you wouldn’t want it: This flower is highly poisonous and has been used in one of the worst beauty trends in history in which women used the berries to dilate their pupils. Symptoms include, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, slow or fast pulse, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, dry mouth, slurred speech, urinary retention, constipation, confusion, as well as convulsions and death. Though it has been long used as an herbal medicine and homeopathic drug, there’s insufficient scientific evidence to recommend its use. Also known to kill a lot of Roman Emperors.

15. White Snakeroot

Scientific Name: Ageratina altissima.

Native to: The US Appalachian Mountains.

Desirable Features: Has lovely white flowers and has roots that can be used for medicinal purposes.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s a highly poisonous plant known to contain tremetol which led to the highly fatal milk sickness known to kill thousands of American settlers in the early 19th century, possibly including the mother of a US president.

16. Water Hemlock

Scientific Name: Cicuta bulbifera. There are 3 other species for this genus though.

Native to: North America.

Desirable Features: It’s flowers look very similar to Queen Anne’s Lace but bigger.

Why you wouldn’t want it: According to the USDA, it’s considered as the most toxic plant in North America with its stalks containing full of the a sap containing cicutoxin. Ingesting a small amount of this could affect the central nervous system and cause seizures as well as bring death within 15 minutes. It’s also deadly to the touch even when dried. Most poisonings occurred due to confusion between these plants and other edible look-alikes, particularly from the Parsley family. Those who survive may develop long term health conditions like amnesia.

17. Elephant Foot Yam

Scientific Name: Amorphophallus paeoniifolius.

Native to: Southeast Asia.

Desirable Features: It has big purple leaves and is used as a cash crop in Southeast Asian countries. Elephant foot yams are used in cuisine as well as in medicine. Can be grown in areas that may seem unsuitable for crops.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s nickname is “the stink lily” because it smells like a corpse to attract flies. Also, it’s kind of ugly as well.

18. Black Bat Flower

Scientific Name: Tacca chantrieri.

Native to: Southeast Asia and Southern China.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s not poisonous or smells bad. Also, it’s considered a collector’s item since it’s extremely rare.

Why you wouldn’t want it: This is one of the creepiest flowers ever in existence and is sure to inspire nightmares. So unless you love Halloween, are related to the Munsters or the Addams Family, or live in a dark castle on a hill or some other spooky residence, then this flower isn’t for you. Also, it’s a bitch to cultivate since it needs a lot of water and prefers high humidity so it would maybe work in my area but I’m not sure about the Munsters (since they live in California).

19. Dracula Orchid

Scientific Name: Dracula sergioi. Has 118 species in its genus.

Native to: Central and South America.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s an orchid and it’s rare in the US. Also, it’s harmless.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Well, if there’s a flower named after Dracula, chances are it’s either very dangerous or very scary looking. This one resembles some sci-fi alien monster with a piranha like mouth. So if you aren’t into scary movies, then you probably don’t want this in your garden.

20. Monk’s Hood

Scientific Name: Aconitum carmichaelii. Genus has over 250 species.

Native to: East Asia.

Desirable Features: Well, a lot of these flowers are in a beautiful shade of purple and yellow.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It contains large quantities of pseudocontitine or actonite which is a deadly poison. It’s no wonder that many cultures used this plant to poison their arrows, so they’d be much more lethal. Consuming this flower can lead to nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea followed by burning, tingling, numbness of face, mouth, and abdomen. When consumed in large quantities, leads to instant death. Still, you probably remember this plant from Harry Potter as an ingredient in the Wolfsbane potion; you know what Snape made for Lupin during that special time of the month. Of course, it’s no wonder he got sick from it. Also, used as Hannah McKay’s killing method of choice on Dexter.

21. Oleander

Scientific Name: Nerium oleander.

Native to: The Mediterranean region, most likely.

Desirable Features: It smells sweet and has beautiful pink flowers with petals being crimson, magenta, or creamy white. Also, a rather hardy plant that could withstand drought.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s one of the most toxic plants in the world and every part of this flower is incredibly poisonous if ingested. In fact, even inhaling one burning is seen as a health threat and even honey derived from its nectar could kill you. A single leaf could kill a child. Most of its human victims are campers who used this flower’s branches to roast marshmallows and hotdogs (well, according to urban legend). Symptoms of poisoning include vomiting, diarrhea, excess salivation, abdominal pain, irregular heart rate, drowsiness, tremors, siezures, and coma.

22. Henbane

Scientific Name: Hyoscyamus niger.

Native to: Eurasia.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s a nice looking flower.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one it has a foul odor which is the reason it’s known as “stinking nightshade.” Second, all parts of this plant are considered highly poisonous in low doses. Symptoms ingesting it include visual hallucinations, dilated pupils, restlessness, flushed skin, vomiting, slow and fast pulse, hyperpyrexia and ataxia.

23. Poison Hemlock

Scientific Name: Conium maculatum. There’s another species in this genus from Southern Africa. Also, don’t confuse it with the tree which is a different species entirely.

Native to: Europe and the Mediterranean.

Desirable Features: Resembles a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace.

Why you wouldn’t want it: This flower is extremely poisonous and ingesting small doses could cause respiratory collapse, muscular paralysis, and death. Retains poisonous properties when dried and is deadly to the touch. The famous Greek philosopher Socrates was condemned to death by drinking this. Second, because it’s poisonous, it could infest large pastures and open waste areas earning its invasive status.

24. Hemlock Water Dropwort

Scientific Name: Oenanthe Crocata. Genus has another species.

Native to: Europe and the Mediterranean.

Desirable Features: Resembles a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace. Leaves pose no danger.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Despite its beauty, this is an extremely toxic plant (considered the most toxic plant in the UK), especially the stem and roots. A single root from this could kill a cow and human fatalities are known. It’s considered especially dangerous due to its resemblance to Chinese celery, Japanese wild celery, and it doesn’t help it shares the same genus.

25. Yellow Jasmine

Scientific Name: Gelsemium sempervirens.

Native to: Southeastern US, Mexico, and Central America. State flower of South Carolina.

Desirable Features: Pretty yellow flowers and is sometimes used as an herbal medicine (when used right).

Why you wouldn’t want it: All parts of this plant contain the toxic strychnine alkaloids gelsemine and gelseminine, which is fatal to honeybees (and even more reason you wouldn’t want it in your garden, especially since there have reports of colony collapse disorder. Let’s just say any flower that’s fatally toxic to honeybees should never be used in a flower garden ever). Children have been poisoned sucking its nectar after mistaking it for honeysuckle and it can cause skin irritation in sensitive individuals.

26. Crown Vetch

Scientific Name: Securigera varia.

Native to: Africa, Asia, and Europe.

Desirable Features: Well, it has pretty pink flowers and is used in the US and Canada as erosion control, roadside planting, and soil rehabilitation. I see this flower all the time when I’m on walks. Grows in most environments and provides good forage for deer and elk during the winter as well as good nesting grounds for birds. Rabbits use this plant for food and cover.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Of course, this is coming from an American perspective but in many US states they’re considered an invasive species or noxious weeds. In fact, many Americans consider this a weed. It’s a tough and aggressive spreading plant that will crowd out its neighbors in a show garden and is very hard to eradicate once established. So if you live in the US, don’t plant this unless you’re legally obligated to do so. Not to mention, it’s also poisonous to horses.

27. Latana Camara

Scientific Name: Same as regular name.

Native to: Central and South America.

Desirable Features: Pretty flowers and can survive in a variety of environments. Can go long without water. Indian scientists discovered that the leaves have anti-microbial, fungicidal, and insecticidal properties which is good for many gardeners. It’s been seen as effective for treating ulcers and respiratory infections.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Since this plant has spread to 50 different countries, it’s been considered an invasive species which will often out compete more desirable species which will lead to a reduction in biodiversity. It’s also known to be toxic to livestock like cattle, sheep, horses, dogs, and goats.

28. Rhododendron Ponticum

Scientific Name: Same as regular name. Its genus has over 1,000 species and includes azaelas.

Native to: Southern Europe and Southwest Asia. National flower of Nepal and state flower of West Virginia and Washington.

Desirable Features: This is a highly desirable evergreen shrub with big flowers and lovely green foliage. These flowers make a trip to my local cemetery almost a dream come Memorial Day and I always take pictures of them with my camera.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one, this plant is considered a highly invasive species in New Zealand, the British Isles, and Western Europe. Second, it’s highly toxic especially to horses that are said to die within hours of ingesting it. Symptoms include nausea, diarrhea, hallucinations, paralysis, severe pains, and even death and its effects have been known since ancient times. Even its honey is poisonous to humans which can cause hypotension and bradycardia if consumed in sufficient quantities. Also, these plants are very prone to a whole range of pests and diseases (Wikipedia has a whole list of ills for this shrub). So it’s a great flower to look at but not a good one to have.

29. Tansy

Scientific Name: Tanacetum vulgare.

Native to: Europe and Asia.

Desirable Features: Pretty yellow flowers and seen as a natural insecticide as well as good companion plant.

Why you wouldn’t want it: In many areas of the world particularly North America, this is seen as an invasive species known to spread prolifically. Also, it’s a toxic plant in all parts, especially to livestock.

30. Cultivated Tobacco

Scientific Name: Nicotiana tabacum. Genus has 67 species.

Native to: The Caribbean. Introduced to Europe by Christopher Columbus himself, if not then possible hybrid.

Desirable Features: Pretty pink flowers. Can also be used as an insecticide.

Why you wouldn’t want it: This plant doesn’t have a good reputation since it’s responsible for a lot of deaths from all kinds of diseases per year, particularly cancer (that and the 599 other additives in tobacco products). Those who work on tobacco farms and plantations are constantly exposed to nicotine poisoning as well as to a large amount of pesticides and other chemicals. Not to mention, this plant could be prone to a whole host of diseases and pests. Also, cultivating this plant in developing countries has led to significant deforestation and environmental damage.

31. Purple Loosestrife

Scientific Name: Lythrum salicaria.

Native to: Europe, Asia, northwest Africa, and southeastern Australia.

Desirable Features: Pretty purple flowers and seen as a medicinal herb for bowel problems. Well suited for most environments.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s a highly invasive plant in New Zealand and North America. Its infestations result in dramatic disruption of water flow in rivers and streams as well as a sharp decline in biodiversity, especially in wetlands. Known for crowding out other native plant species like cattails. So if you live near a swamp, don’t plant this.

32. Common Foxglove

Scientific Name: Digitalis purpurea. Genus contains 20 species.

Native to: Europe.

Desirable Features: Pretty purple flowers.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Toxic in all parts including the water any cut stalks sit in. Even in its dried state, it can kill. Poisoning is most commonly found in livestock, pets, and children. Sometimes mistaken for the edible comfrey plant and brewed as tea in which the results could be fatal. Symptoms include Stomach pain, nausea, violent vomiting, vertigo, muscular stiffness, fatigue, headache, pulse at first rapid and violent but soon weak and irregular, dilated pupils, dimness of vision, delirium.

33. Ox-Eye Daisy

Scientific Name: Leucanthemum vulgare.

Native to: Europe and Asia.

Desirable Features: Well, it’s a daisy and appears conventional as such.

Why you wouldn’t want it: It’s a highly invasive species in North America, Australia, and New Zealand known for displacing native plants and modifying existing communities. It’s particularly troublesome in agricultural areas where cows won’t eat it which will enable it to spread and it’s host to several viral diseases that affect crops. In the US it’s prohibited in Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Missouri, Montana, Ohio, Washington, Wyoming, and West Virginia.

34. Creeping Buttercup

Scientific Name: Ranunculus repens. Genus has 600 species including spearworts, crowfoots, and celandine.

Native to: Europe, Asia, and northwestern Africa.

Desirable Features: Pretty yellow flowers.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Though initially seen as an ornamental plant, it’s an invasive species in many parts of the world and is usually spread through transporting hay. Not to mention, it’s toxic in all parts to humans and animals (except when dried in hay) with symptoms including bloody diarrhea, excessive salivation, colic, and severe blistering that affect the mucous membranes and gastrointestinal tract. Yet, while grazing animals know to avoid this plant, they will sometimes eat it out of desperation.

35. Blessed Milk Thistle

Scientific Name: Silybum marianum.

Native to: Southern Europe and Asia.

Desirable Features: Pretty purple flowers and is widely cultivated in Europe, Asia, and South America for several different uses.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one, it has sharp spikes all over its foliage, which you wouldn’t want to touch on the roadside. Second, it contains the toxin potassium nitrate which is toxic humans and animals, particularly cattle and sheep. Symptoms include oxygen deprivation, which is a terrible way to die. Third, it’s considered an invasive species in Iran, North America, Australia, and New Zealand. Fourth, its appearance gives an impression that it more likely belongs in some mad scientist’s garden than yours, considering its freakish display. That or seems like an appropriate corsage for a Klingon wedding.

36. Common Water Hyacinth

Scientific Name: Eichhornia crassipes.

Native to: The Amazon Basin.

Desirable Features: One of the few Amazon flowers that could survive outside the rainforest (it’s been recently spotted in New York). Could be used for bioenergy and waste water treatment. Also, a very pretty purple flower with a petal resembling a peacock feather.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Since its introduction to the US in 1884, this little beauty has been responsible for all kinds of environmental damage such as choking up rivers, killing fish, and stopping shipping in Louisiana as well as clogging Florida’s waterways. Not only that but it nearly wrecked Florida’s environment and economy. There were many eradication attempts, including one by the US War Department pouring oil over it, yet none prevailed. The US government was so desperate to get rid of this plant that Congress almost passed a bill that would’ve authorized the importation of hippos for this very purpose in 1910. Yes, hippos, but this method wouldn’t have worked either because it’s also considered an invasive species in Africa, particularly Lake Victoria.

37. Lily of the Valley

Scientific Name: Convallaria majalis.

Native to: Asia and Europe.

Desirable Features: Pretty white flowers which explains why it’s used a lot in bridal bouquets.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Unless you’re familiar with the later seasons of Breaking Bad (sorry to spoil it), you probably don’t know that this beauty can be very deadly. It’s highly poisonous in all parts including the berries and contains 38 different cardiac glycosides. If ingested even in small amounts, it could cause abdominal pain, vomiting, and a reduced heart rate. For the prospective brides hoping to become black widows someday, this is the perfect flower for you.

38. American Pokeweed

Scientific Name: Phytolacca Americana.

Native to: Eastern North America.

Desirable Features: Well, pretty white flowers and nice dark berries. It’s a good source for songbirds like the Gray Catbird, Northern Cardinal, Brown Thrasher, and Northern Mockingbird. Young leaves (those that don’t have red in them) and berries can be eaten but only when properly cooked.

Why you wouldn’t want it: These plants are poisonous though the ripe dark berries are the least toxic; it’s when they’re green you really have to worry about them and whether they’re consumed raw in large quantities. Infants and small children should avoid consuming them at all times. As for the rest of the plant, well, those parts get more poisonous as it matures. And adults have been poisoned (sometimes fatally) by eating improperly prepared leaves and shoots, particularly if the root is harvested with the shoots, and by mistaking the root for an edible tuber. So if you’re served any pokeweed dish at a dinner party, you might not want to eat it. Symptoms upon ingesting may include anemia, altered heart rate and respiration, convulsions and death from respiratory failure. Could also possibly cause mutations (perhaps leading to cancer) and birth defects. Yet, animals would only consume them in desperation or if it’s in contaminated hay. Still, while it shouldn’t be touched with bare hands, the juice is less hazardous than the sap (which can cause dermatitis). Also, they are particularly invasive and a pain to get rid of (burning it won’t help, believe me).

39. Scotch Broom

Scientific Name: Cytisus scoparius.

Native to: Western and central Europe.

Desirable Features: Pretty flowers. Can grow almost anywhere.

Why you wouldn’t want it: Contains a toxin that causes heart palpitations and affects the central nervous system, which is harmful to both humans and livestock. In the American West as well as in New Zealand, Australia, and India, this is a particularly invasive plant known to inhibit reforestation efforts after timber harvests.

40. Giant Hogweed

Scientific Name: Heracleum mantegazzianum.

Native to: The Caucasus Region in Central Asia.

Desirable Features: Resembles a giant version of Queen Anne’s Lace like it’s on steroids or some radioactive plant food.

Why you wouldn’t want it: For one, it’s an invasive species spreading like wildfire and drowning the native flora and destroying ecosystems in its wake, especially in wetland areas. Second, it’s a phototoxic plant and public health hazard. Skin contact with its watery sap could produce painful burning blisters that could leave purple and black scars. If in contact with eyes, then blindness. Because of it being up to 8-20ft tall and dangerously poisonous to the touch, don’t think you can get rid of it with your weed whacker or mower. In fact, you can’t so it’s best to call professionals or local authorities who can properly destroy the plant and seeds.

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The Wonderful World of Lawn Ornaments

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 28, 2014

Of course, lawn ornaments have always been a tacky mainstay in many gardens. Whether it be gnomes, flamingos, Virgin Mary grottoes, and what not, you’ve seen them on a roadside once in a while. Some of you may have a few yourself which you like to show off to the neighbors or onlookers. Sure many of us can have the urge to decorate our lawns and gardens with certain statues and artworks which sometimes don’t go well with the landscape. I could talk about all the kitschy lawn ornaments I’ve seen over the internet but you probably would’ve found it boring and wouldn’t have much interest in this post. In fact, there are people who have lawn ornaments that even defy the conventional pink flamingo ornaments you see in the leading picture. And since I was tied up with doing movie history posts back in the spring, now’s the best time as any. So without further adieu, here are some of the tackiest lawn ornaments ever to grace any garden or lawn.

1. For the beachfront garden, here’s a wooden pictures of two kids in swimsuits.

Yet, I’m not sure if these kids in swimsuits would be appropriate in a more inland setting with trees. After all, they seem a bit too happy by a realistic standpoint.

2. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, Zombie Gnome.

Of course, with the popularity of The Walking Dead, we have to have zombie versions of everything. Of course, this gnome won’t be a danger to your brains due to its size but to other gnomes, well, God help them.

3. How about a whale fountain that spurts out water from its mouth?

This whale seems rather happy for being way outside its natural environment for some reason. Of course, it’s made from metal but still.

4. Of course, for those who have a thing for the Old South, here’s a black boy ornament sitting on a ledge.

I have an uncle who has an ornament similar to this. Of course, it was more racist looking than this, but it still made me cringe. Still, you wouldn’t want this figure in a predominantly black neighborhood. Sorry, NAACP.

5. If you’re into frogs, here some in sexually suggestive poses.

Of course, the only thing saving these animals from being inappropriate is the fact that frogs don’t have mammary glands. Yet, you can tell that whoever designed these figures probably kept a secret Playboy stash during his high school years.

6. For those who like frogs, here’s a glow in the dark one to light your garden.

Now if I saw a real frog glowing in the dark in my yard, I’d freak out like you wouldn’t believe. Seriously frogs don’t glow in the dark.

7. Nothing makes a great lawn sculpture than a tiger on a chain.

I just hope that whoever owns this doesn’t have neighbors in PETA, ASPCA or the Humane Society. In fact, let’s hope that this person isn’t living anywhere near anyone active in animal rights because a tiger chained at the neck has some rather unfortunate implications.

8. For cow lovers, here’s a red one in a dress.

As to why anyone would want a red cow with a dress on is beyond me. I mean real cows don’t wear dresses and aren’t that bright red. Still, doesn’t emanate a great artistic taste of the owner who probably spent a lot of money on it.

9. For gnome lovers, here’s one with a blowtorch.

I’m sure Garden gnome Sherman has endured enough strain from being viewed as a conventional tacky lawn ornament and is now proceeding to burn the garden down in a blaze of glory.

10. Of course, if you’re into torture porn here’s a lawn ornament with two guys squeezing a happy naked woman skinny.

Seriously, why put this in your lawn? Whoever sees this as an appropriate garden decoration ought to have his head examined. This isn’t funny but rather very disturbing indeed with human rights abuses on top of that. Also, is she bleeding?

11. Well, this seems cute. A boy helping a girl get a drink at a little fountain.

Well, at least I hope it is because there seems to be an inappropriate connotation here which is rather unsettling. I don’t want to be wring here but the boy seems to enjoy himself a little too much while helping a girl with a drink.

12. Of course, for rabbit lovers, here’s a cute little statue for your garden.

Actually if you have kids, don’t even think about getting this because it’s rather inappropriate. After all, remember the expression, “breeding like rabbits” mean. You probably could see plenty of this in your back yard so there’s no reason to get such statue.

13. For the person sick of having to clean up after the neighborhood pooches, here’s the perfect sign.

I’m sure a No Dumping! sign with a dog pooping is going to deter the neighborhood dogs from doing their business in your flower garden. Actually it’s not going to do a damn thing since dogs will go anywhere they damn well please. In fact, this sign may backfire as far as the animals are concerned.

14. If you’re British and want to show your love for Queen and country, here’s a couple of large stone heads of Her Majesty and Prince Consort.

Now nothing depicts Great Britain as a nation of gardening fanatics than having Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip being depicted as a couple of giant Chia heads created by people who probably have too much time on their hands. Seriously, this is just so over the top if you know what I mean yet the Queen does have a lot of nice flowers in her hair.

15. Nothing says a great birth announcement, than a lawn sign bringing the neighbors close to the scene.

Now I don’t know about you, but this is just a pretty tasteless sign. Perhaps it’s best to announce to the neighbors with conventional signs reading “It’s a boy!” or It’s a girl!” Guess this proud new dad seemed to have too much time on his hands.

16. What better gnome to have in your yard than one that glows in the dark.

Now this doesn’t seem to look like a glow in the dark gnome than it does, well, let’s say a glow in a dark something else. Let’s say that Sigmund Freud may have a field day with whoever designed this.

17. Nothing makes a great garden decoration than a bronze statue of Bigfoot

Of course, if your statue of Sasquatch proves a draw on Discovery Channel’s Finding Bigfoot, don’t be surprised. Of course, there’s probably enough evidence that Bigfoot probably doesn’t exist in the first place.

18. Of course, nothing brings the spirit of summer than a black statue eating watermelon.

Blackface depiction of black people is considered racist in the United States. And seeing them with watermelon just adds further insult to injury that would make the NAACP shriek in horror. Once again, sorry NAACP, but I can’t see how anyone not racist would want to buy this.

19. Of course, here’s a Mexican figure with his burro.

The fact this statue is placed near a metal linked fence is rather suggestive of another negative stereotype on Mexicans, especially in this day in age. Sometimes placement is everything.

20. For those who don’t know what to do with their old toilet, how about retrofit it into a new planter in your garden.

Excuse me, but we need to admit that toilets make aesthetically tacky planters for your garden. Seriously, even this owner knows this and even adds on to it.

21. Nothing brings in the baseball season like a Mexican guy with a baseball.

And how do I know he’s Mexican? Well, he has a sombrero and a bandanna around his neck. Then again, baseball is a popular sport among the Latino and Latin American community. However, the most negative stereotypical thing about this is that it makes the mistaken assumption is that all Hispanics in the US are Mexicans.

22. Here’s a gnome showing the world where the sun don’t shine.

Of course, this lawn ornament makes an addition to the long series of Gnomes behaving badly. Also, if I saw any guy with a white beard, there’s no way in hell I’d want to see what his backside looks like and gnomes are no exception.

23. Nothing makes a more idyllic lawn ornament than a free standing deer.

Now I have neighbors who have free standing deer like this but they aren’t really used for decoration. In fact, they’re used for target practice for hunting season. Also, if there are deer around during mating season, there’s a chance they may mistake this ornament for the real thing.

24. Now here’s a great garden statue that shows the spirit of togetherness.

Is it just me or does this statue seem to depict something very, very dirty? If so, then I suggest you don’t get this if you live in a neighborhood with children. Else their parents would get very angry with you.

25. Who could think that a stature with a head and legs could be this so adorable?

Actually I think this lawn sculpture is kind of terrifying, especially with the smirky smile on its face. Please, kill it! Kill it with fire for God’s sake!

26. For the art lovers, here is a statue of the Venus de Milo in funky colors.

I know the Ancient Greeks and Romans used to paint their statues but somehow this Venus de Milo rendition seems rather tacky to me. Perhaps I’m not familiar with her being painted like she’s fresh from some makeover gone bad at the beauty salon. That is, assuming the salon is accommodating to people with no arms and takes people who don’t have a shirt on.

27. If you want to keep those pesky kids off your lawn, here’s a giant metal dragon to scare them.

Yet, let it be known that this lawn statue isn’t going to help you get along with the neighbors or receive an invitation to the neighborhood cookout. In fact, this may make your neighbors afraid of you.

28. Of course, even gnomes sometimes have to relieve themselves.

Of course, gnomes don’t use toilets so it’s not unlike them to squat down, take their pants down, and answer the call of nature right on the spot.

29. Now sometimes there are gnomes who may resort to certain ways of deviance.

So we shouldn’t be upset when we see gnomes flashing their erect penises, trying to take down people with machine guns, and pole dancing.

30. Wow your neighbors with this handy little UFO display in front of your house.

Yet, understand that having such displays in your front lawn, may draw a lot of UFO conspiracy theorists in your neighborhood. And let me say, you may see them as weirdos.

31. Nothing enhances the quality of your lawn like a creature peeping from a manhole.

Actually that’s pretty creepy, especially for those who fix pipes underground. Also, kind of insulting to utility workers for some reason.

32. Oh, look a talking rock.

Now if I saw a rock with teeth like that, I would be more than slightly disturbed. This is a rather terrifying lawn ornament if you know what I mean.

33. Of course, who could forget the traditional lawn jockey?

When it comes to racist lawn ornaments, none comes in greater notoriety than the infamous lawn jockey ornament. Again, sorry NAACP, but in a post of utterly tacky lawn ornaments, there’s no way I couldn’t avoid posting this.

34. Of course, with a statue like this, you’ll always have a full moon.

Of course, I’m sure the neighbors would sure view you as an upstanding role model for displaying a statue showing utter disrespect. Note how my prose reflects utter sarcasm in reference to this.

35. Now introducing the one, the only, his majesty the King, Elvis frog.

Yes, you heard me, Elvis Frog. He’s the one who brought you hits like, “That’s All Ribbit,” “Heartbreak Swamp,” “Hound Fly,” “Bossa Nova Tadpole,” and “Jailswamp Rock.”

36. I don’t what I if you don’t decorate with some moai.

Of course, this may seem like a fun decoration at first. But take note that erecting the original Easter Island Statues would soon lead to all the island’s trees being cut down and mass starvation and decline of a Polynesian people. Kind of depressing isn’t it?

37. Of course, who wouldn’t want a garden ornament of a dog doing his business?

Hey, at least unlike the real thing, it doesn’t leave a special present behind so you don’t have to clean up after it. Kind of says a lot compared to having a real dog except that it would be incapable of showing any affection whatsoever.

38. Just a naked statue minding its own business.

Of course, why such a statue would want to frolick around while exposing itself, I don’t have the slightest idea. Also I don’t understand why people would want to put naked statues in their gardens in the first place. Then again, there may be a few I can’t name.

39. What better way to improve your lawn than to have it resemble a scene from a car accident.

Seriously, why would anyone think that having a lawn ornament like this would be a good idea? Seems more like someone would call 911 over a scene like this it weren’t for the lack of fire, smoke, and people in serious need for medical attention or reduced to dead mutilated corpses. Honestly, car accidents aren’t funny things at all.

40. No lawn ornament like this says that the family who gets boob jobs together stays together.

Seriously, what’s with these little girls having such big boobs? This is highly disturbing because normally little girls don’t have breasts. And if they do, there’s something seriously wrong with them.

41. What better way to have a bonfire than in a fire pit with forest decorations.

Of course, anyone with a fire pit like this isn’t going to make friends with Smokey the Bear, Bambi, or anyone living in an area notorious for wildfires. Seriously, forest fires aren’t nice things.

42. Nothing like a bath in dirt and chains.

Seriously, who thought that such design would make a good lawn ornament? I mean it’s something you’d more likely read about in 50 Shades of Grey than something you’d want to see in your garden.

43. Of course, to those who like to see attractive women mowing your lawn.

I guess she wasn’t hired for her mowing efficiency judging by her choice with using a push mower. Of course, if Hugh Hefner worked in Cub Cadet’s marketing department, such ads would look like this.

44. See the world burn with this globe outdoor fire pit.

Whoever designed this doesn’t seem to have a great outlook on life. I mean who wants to see our planet in a hell fire blaze. It’s disturbing.

45. No flamingo could shimmer in the sun like one decked in rhinestones.

Now flamingo lawn decorations are tacky enough but a rhinestone flamingo? Well, that takes tackiness to a whole new level.

46. Nothing graces a lawn better than a statue of a scantily clad woman draping with flowers.

Who in their right mind would erect such a tacky lawn ornament like this? I mean this will either distract onlooking drivers or neighbors, or lead to some questioning your taste in decorating decency. Some would just be disappointed she isn’t real.

47. Grace your lawn and garden with a one of a kind Lady Gaga statue.

Sure this statue may give neighbors an idea that you’re a big fan of hers. But, honestly, I don’t think Lady Gaga herself would have this in her own garden. Seriously, a Lady Gaga lawn ornament?

48. Of course, you can’t do without an outhouse.

Now using an outhouse as a lawn decoration isn’t going to make your lawn more aesthetically pleasing. Especially if it has a moon on the door.

49. What better way to show your patriotism than to have a lawn statue of a giant big cat with an American flag.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the Pink Panther’s (from the cartoon not the movie) little known American cousin. Of course, you wouldn’t know him since he’s considered an embarrassment.

50. Nothing secures your lawn better than a tank lawn ornament.

Warning: despite supposed coolness and potential for frightening the neighbors, it doesn’t actually work. If it did, it would’ve been considered an illegal weapon.

51. What better lawn ornament to have than one with a woman’s feet sticking out of the ground.

I’m sure that no one is going to think that some serial killer is on the loose in your area with that in your yard. Yet, this doesn’t mean I’m exactly positive.

52. Shark! From the ground!

Now a shark in the ocean could scare the bejesus out of a crowd of people at the beach. Lawn sharks, well, no one is safe from them.

53. Behold, a lawn ornament of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Not recommended for those who got quesy during Jurassic Park or for any neighbors who may have had upset stomachs for viewing that movie.

Not recommended for those who got queasy during Jurassic Park or for any neighbors who may have had upset stomachs for viewing that movie.

54. Oh, my God, it’s a giant praying mantis!

Now let’s just say that any lawn ornament resembling a giant insect is going to scare people and a praying mantis is no exception. I mean while some people may be afraid of insects at their regular size, no one wants to run into a bug that’s as big as them.

55. Scare the gnomes away with a Super Mario Piranha Plant lawn ornament.

I’m sure the carrot is looking none too pleased at the moment. Yet, this should scare some bugs away for awhile anyway.

56. Behold, the flower pot man on his tricycle.

Seriously, this is kind of terrifying for gardeners if you know what I mean. I mean there’s no way a flower pot person is harmless in some capacity.

57. Of course, what tacky garden wouldn’t be without the cutouts of people bending over.

Can’t do a post on tacky lawn ornaments without leading such lawn decorations out. I mean why would anyone want these? I mean they seem to be in poor aesthetic taste and crude humor.

58. Bring in the spirit of Mother Goose with this Humpty Dumpty lawn decoration.

Due to the fact Humpty Dumpty makes a creepy lawn ornament, there’s a reason why many children wouldn’t feel bad about him taking his great fall in the nursery rhyme.

59. Grace your lawn with this zombie lawn ornament you’d find in any mail order catalog.

For a zombie garden sculpture, this looks astonishingly lifelike that it’s kind of creepy. In a kitcshy sort of way that is. Still, would make a great Halloween decoration to freak out the neighbors.

60. Unfortunately zombie gnomes aren’t so friendly to lawn flamingos.

Granted, since the gnomes seem to find this animal particularly delicious for some reason. Still, pretty funny if you know what I mean.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: Gardening

The Windswept World of Wind Chimes

The Quaint Gardening World of Greenhouses and Garden Sheds

Fun with Garden Gnomes

The Little World of Miniature Gardens

The Wonderful World of Flower Gardens

Flowers You Wouldn’t Want in Your Garden (Other than Weeds)

The Wonderful World of Lawn Ornaments