The Spooky World of Halloween Pumpkin Dioramas

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 11, 2015

Most of you might know that Halloween is the time of year when people carve pumpkins into jack o’ lanterns and other carvings. However, for those who might be bored with the idea of carving pumpkins, you might want to consider an alternative. And while doing my post on Halloween crafts, I found just the thing: pumpkin dioramas. This just entails cutting a pumpkin from the side, taking any stuff out, and decorating the inside however you please. Or you can just use a foam one wherever they sell them. And while it’s not nearly as popular as the Easter peep dioramas, you still have some of these on Pinterest. You can also see quite a few tutorials on the subject as well if you’re interested. Now many pumpkin dioramas consist of Halloween scenes like graveyards, haunted houses, pumpkin patches, and the like. And like jack o’lanterns, they’re usually lit from the inside, too. But if you’re a repressed art major or someone looking for a different kind of crafting, then be my guest. So without further adieu, here are some spooky pumpkin dioramas.

Heard that a giant pumpkin can offer a comfy living accommodation for any witch.

Odd, I’d usually expect a haggard witch like her to cook some potion. But this one seems to enjoy knitting for some reason. Then again, it might just be a hobby.

2. Of course, sometimes jail time can really take the life out of you.

Looks like the guy holding the bars isn’t the only person who literally died in there. Just look at the others inside. He seems to have very good company.

3. So I guess this is the broom parking zone.

And it seems the witches got there almost twenty minutes before midnight. Of course, I’m not sure if the zombies are happy in this neck of the cemetery.

4. Looks like the owl has really made itself at home in this pumpkin.

Now this is quite rustic for a pumpkin diorama. But still, really like the owl in its hole. Not very scary but very fitting for fall.

5. Of course, at night, the cemetery can be a hopping place.

Yeah, nothing in the cemetery compares to the sight of skeletons and mummies dancing. Hey, wait a minute, aren’t mummies supposed to be in Egypt? What the hell is it doing here?

6. At some old houses, it can get quite scary at night, especially if they’re haunted.

This is especially true if the house in question has their very own family cemetery. Like the crow, though.

7. Not sure if I ever want to go into this witch’s pumpkin patch at night.

Now I like how the pumpkins seem to glow in the dark. Still, that tree seems to have a lot of large fruit.

8. The cemetery can be a rather bleak place on autumn nights.

Now this one uses twigs for bare trees as well as moss for the graveyard ground. Not sure if the leaves are real.

9. Seems like a lot of people got hanged in this area.

Now this is quite neat. Still, I’m not sure if there would be an area with skeletons on a noose like that. I’m sure people would see that.

10. Seems like the earth isn’t safe with these pumpkin aliens.

Now this is clever. This used a pumpkin as a flying saucer or UFO and small green pumpkins as aliens.

11. Looks like the zombies are out messing around this time of night.

Of course, who says that the dead aren’t a very lively bunch? Still, like how this person used a light bulb for the moon.

12. Now this graveyard seems like a ghostly hangout.

Not sure what’s under the ghosts (probably wires or foam). But I do like the one on top.

13. Guess the graveyard shift isn’t as dull as it’s cracked up to be.

Seems like the skeletons are having fun and are making no bones about it. And there’s even one with a top hat and cane.

14. Of course, there’s nothing like spending Halloween in the North Pole.

Hey, I didn’t say that pumpkin dioramas had to be about Halloween stuff. Still, not sure if the people can fit into the igloo.

15. Nighttime is said to be when you can hear the wolf howling at the moon.

I’m not sure if wolves really howl at the moon. I mean howling could just as easily be a form of long distance communication for them.

16. Seems like this graveyard is fenced in and gives no bones about it.

Let’s hope they didn’t get the bones from the graves. Because that would be bad. Really bad. Still, like the lamp post.

17. A pumpkin and a bouquet of black roses are all that a skeleton needs for a date.

Yes, he may be all bones by now. But he seems smiling and ready for action.

18. It’s said to be customary for some people to tell ghost stories at a Halloween bonfire.

Guess the kid dressed is Batman seems quite frightened. Then again, the lighting makes the atmosphere quite eerie.

19. Using purple light for your diorama can certainly make a graveyard scene look grim.

Now that pipe cleaner tree looks straight out of some Dr. Seuss story. And that grim looks certainly menacing.

20. It’s fairly apparent the fairies love to frolic in spring gardens.

Yes, it’s a fairy scene in a pumpkin. I know that pumpkins are fall plants while flowers are spring. Yes, it’s kind of confusing.

21. Remember, it always pays to show up around dusk for the graveyard shift.

Now this kind of looks like dusk since the inside is painted white. But the skeleton looks just as menacing from the shadows.

22. This little princess is all dressed up for her Halloween party.

And it seems like she’s headed towards the snack table. Still, the decorations in the room are certainly vintage.

23. Of course, nothing captures the woodland spirit than a scene with deer.

Just so you know that you can’t shoot deer on Halloween. Because deer hunting season begins after Thanksgiving. Why the makers of Out of the Furnace didn’t know this, I’m not sure.

24. Sometimes spending time outside the casket can look quite frightening to living human onlookers.

From the view in this picture, this scene looks quite menacing, especially with the skeleton in the coffin and the other surrounding him. Still, you have to love the bow on this.

25. There are sometimes spending Halloween nights in graveyards can be a ghoulish experience.

Now unlike many of the pumpkin dioramas here, this one is carved in a rather unusual way to give it a spooky feel. Still, not sure how that can be pulled off.

26. Seems like this mummy is definitely no fan of the great white archaeologist.

Finally, a pumpkin diorama with an appropriate mummy scene. However, I’m not sure if Egypt has that many palm trees near the Valley of Kings.

27. Guess the undead Wild West was quite lively in its day.

Not sure if the moss is appropriate but it sure brings a creepy vibe. Still, love the western clad skeletons in this.

28. Of course, it always pays to spend time studying in the library.

Man, kind of disappointed that this doesn’t look decrepit. Just looks like somebody studying in the library, possibly in the evening hours.

29. When doing a pumpkin graveyard scene, make sure to make it as creepy as possible.

Now this looks quite messy with all the lights mangled for a pink glow sky and the ground that appears covered in last year’s Christmas decorations. Still, quite appropriate for Halloween.

30. Fall is the time when wolves howl at the full moon at night.

Hey, wolves don’t howl just for the sake of it. They howl to make other packs know about their family presence. There’s nothing creepy about it.

31. Sometimes you can create a whole wilderness in just one little pumpkin.

Now I wonder how someone pulled this off. Then again, the pumpkin is probably bigger than it appears in this photo.

32. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Foresaken Cemetery.

Now this is another one of these intricately cut pumpkins. Still, I do like the lighting in this. Very eerie if you get my drift.

33. Seems like these astronauts have encountered some alien lifeform near Earth.

Now this one is quite creative. Still, not sure why the fuzzy guy in this isn’t wearing a space suit. I mean space exists in a vacuum and if you have no suit on, you’re dead.

34. Looks like the full moon is over the haunted house tonight.

Now the props used in this seem to consist of paper cutouts. And there’s only a little bit of light to bring in some eerie atmosphere in this one.

35. Seems like this skeleton wants his jack o’lantern all to himself.

Now this one seems quite simple to make and doesn’t seem to require a lot of materials. Of course, the trees are made from pipe cleaners and don’t seem very big.

36. Looks like this skeleton wants to rise and shine out from his coffin.

Now this also looks pretty doable. Still, not sure if the skeleton is male or female. Then again, skeletons tend to be made with narrow pelvises anyway, which usually indicate male.

37. Leave a pumpkin hollowed out too long and it will become a place for a spider to spin its web.

Now this doesn’t seem to take much work at all. Then again, there’s a choice between regular spiderweb or cobweb.

38. Of course, nothing commemorates Halloween more than a pumpkin diorama of Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin.

Seriously, Linus should just wait for the Great Pumpkin after trick or treating. But you know, he never seems to give up hope that the Great Pumpkin would show up someday. Yeah, it’s ridiculous.

39. I guess this house is really haunted with ghosts. Wouldn’t you agree?

Once again, this is mostly paper decorations. However, you wouldn’t want to stay in a house like that.

40. This one is known as, “Death’s Coffee Break.”

Because even though Death has a rather busy schedule, he still needs to make time for a cup of joe. Yeah, he tends to work very odd and long hours 7 days a week.

41. “Hello, and welcome to this pumpkin home.”

Looks a bit small for a doll like that. And there doesn’t seem to be a lot of space. Still, she might have plenty of food.

42. There’s nothing more teeth clenching than seeing a pirate having to battle snakes for his treasure on a deserted island.

Contrary to popular belief, pirates didn’t bury their treasure since most of them didn’t expect to live long. Nor did they battle giant monster snakes. Still, this looks pretty cool.

43. Remember that there’s no party like a Halloween party.

Now this one looks pretty cramped. And all you see is a table and decorations. Wonder how big the pumpkin is.

44. I’m sure a cozy home like this should be plenty for 3 witches.

Seems like they’re making potions in there. Hope one of them doesn’t cause a fire or anything worse.

45. A pumpkin like this shows a world during the time of the dinosaurs.

Actually this might be the Cretaceous period as far as I can see. And they were about the last group of dinosaurs before they became extinct 65 million years ago.

46. Revisit the magical world of Harry Potter with these pumpkin dioramas.

Seems like they got Hagrid’s hut from book 3 since Buckbeak appears all chained up. And I see they have Harry playing Quidditch, too.

47. For any stranded travelers on Halloween, beware of having your car break down near houses like these.

Now this paper haunted house is actually quite well designed. Still, might need more detail and appear more decrepit looking.

48. Of course, it’s possible that a raven will linger in the cemeteries at night.

Now that’s a clever idea. Not sure about the size of the bird in proportion to the grave stones. But, hey, it works.

49. When green light comes into play, anything can be made as eerie as you want it.

Of course, seeing a green light like this is never a good sign. Still, at least that light is at a graveyard and not at a nuclear facility.

50. It has become apparent to me that the ferocious 3 headed dog wants to play fetch with a stick.

Of course, I’m not sure what’s in the background in this one. Still, I don’t think Fluffy is the kind of dog you want to play fetch with. Dogs like that can get quite nasty.

Scary and Eerily Adorable DIY Halloween Costume Inspirations

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2015

Now this might not be quite DIY but it's good enough. This is my Hogwarts school girl costume that I wore for Halloween all 4 years in college. Now the scarf, knee socks, and shirt were a gift I received from my uncle and aunt in Florida. The black tights, black skirt, and white polo shirt are straight from my wardrobe. And the quill is a turkey feather from my neighbors, I think. Still, I decided to go with a sexy costume pose for this post.

Now this might not be quite DIY but it’s good enough. This is my Hogwarts school girl costume that I wore for Halloween all 4 years in college. Of course, this one is Gryffindor, Harry Potter’s house in the books. But I’ve had people think that I was Hermione Granger. Now the scarf, knee socks, and shirt were a gift I received from my uncle and aunt in Florida. The black tights, black skirt, and white polo shirt are straight from my wardrobe. And the quill is a turkey feather from my neighbors, I think (not a quill you’d see at Hogwarts, but then again, Hedwig is a snowy owl, which is from North America anyway). Still, I decided to go with a sexy costume pose for this post.

As we all know, it’s always been customary for people to wear costumes for Halloween, especially if it’s for parties or trick or treating. However, trick or treating tends to start getting awkward when you’re a teenager. Still, there are plenty of costumes out there you can choose from if you look for the ready made ones online. For a 25 year old woman like myself, you have sexy French maid, sexy genie, sexy witch, sexy Catholic schoolgirl, sexy nurse, sexy nun, sexy Sesame Street muppet, sexy Disney princess, sexy cop, sexy Hogwarts schoolgirl, sexy cultural stereotypes, and sexy, well, you get the idea. Still, ladies, if you don’t want a sexy costume, you an always go with the male counterpart. Still, sometimes store bought costumes really aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. And by that I mean tacky, unoriginal, offensive, and stereotypical. So many people resort to making their own maybe because it’s cheaper or that they’d want to have more creative control and fun. Sometimes they might go with a standard Halloween costume that’s recognizable. Other times, it might be something original entirely. For those who are thinking of making their own costumes this year, allow me to be of service by showing you pictures of people in costumes that might provide some inspiration. So for your reading pleasure, here is a treasure trove of people in the costumes they’ve made themselves.

Effiel Tower

Now this is adorable. Girl has the Effiel Tower in the back as well as is dressed like a French girl. Only the snottiest French person could hate this one.

2. Clippy

For my younger readers, Clippy was an office assistant in the early Microsoft Office programs. He was annoying as hell. Still, this is a fairly simple costume idea that doesn’t require a lot of work.

3. Sumo Wrestler

Now this is the most adorable sumo wrestler I’ve ever seen. Notice how the parents just used some brown shorts and a ridiculous baby wig. Wonder how this kid will think of this picture in later years.

4. Powderpuff Girls

The Powderpuff Girls was a cartoon series back in the day that was originally set as a parody of Sailor Moon. It’s about three crime fighting sisters whose names are Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup. Still, wonder what their costumes are made of. Duct tape?

5. Cocktail

I bet this dog’s owner is dressing up as James Bond for Halloween. If so, then it’s a martini, shaken, not stirred. Of course, kind of humiliating being in a cone.

6. Troll Dolls

These were toys that were a fad around the 1980s and 1990s. Of course, they were naked but modesty demands these women to wear flesh colored dresses. Which I think is fair.

7. Titanic Survivors

Since I’m a history major and know quite a bit about the RMS Titanic, I wouldn’t necessarily call them Titanic survivors. I mean very few survivors were actually rescued. Why? Because most of them froze to death well before the rescue boats arrived.

8. WALL-E

Now this is so adorable. I wonder if he has a sister dressed up as EVE. Then again, EVE and WALL-E are robots and don’t need to have gender.

9. Pizza Delivery Boy and Slice

Now this is a cute costume for a couple. However, she could just as easily go as a well endowed college coed or horny housewife. Or she could go as a serial killer. You know what they say about pizza boys in porn and crime shows.

10. Operation Board Game

Of course, if you pick the wrong part out, his red nose will go off like a Christmas tree. Still, you have to wonder how these parts got into his body.

11. Mac n’ Cheese

Amazing what you can do with leftover toilet paper rolls. And cardboard while you’re at it. However, unlike real mac n’ cheese, you can’t eat her.

12. Queen Cleopatra

Yes, I’m sure Cleopatra is a perfectly appropriate costume for a girl. Of course, this is a woman who married and killed two half-brothers, had her sisters assassinated, fooled around with Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, and committed suicide.

13. Abercrombie & Fitch

I am no fan of Abercrombie & Fitch. However, I have to admire this boy’s parents’ creativity with making a costume from a paper bag.

14. Medusa

Yes, this little girl is adorable. But look directly into her eyes and I swear she’ll have you literally stone dead. Of course, she needs to watch out for Perseus.

15. Humpty Dumpty

Another adorable baby costume. Of course, if he falls, let’s hope that his cracks don’t show.

16. Klimt Kiss

Now this costume was inspired by a famous painting by Austrian artist Gustav Klimt. He’s also famous for Woman in Gold which was subject to a really nasty legal battle with an elderly Holocaust survivor.

17. Crazy Cat Lady

Now this costume is as hilarious as it is cute. Love how she has all the stuffed cats dangling on her. Boy, we love to make fun of crazy cat ladies.

18. Peacock

Though the peacock is a common costume for women, it’s a dude in the animal kingdom. Trust me, peacocks are dudes. Peahens are female, but not as pretty.

19. Watch Dog

For your pets, this is a relatively simple costume. I mean at least it doesn’t take much time to put the watches on.

20. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Now the couple’s costume consists of Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King and his rag doll gal, Sally. Since it has a big fan base and is associated with Tim Burton, had to include these two.

21. Stone Warrior

Guess this guy’s girlfriend, sister, wife, or daughter is going as Medusa. Ask me how I could’ve guessed. I dare you.

22. Harry Potter and Dobby the House Elf

Now this is simply adorable. Still, I have to wonder who the dad’s going as. Voldemort? Dumbledore? Hagrid? Ron? Snape?

23. Lumberjack

He may be rugged and manly on the outside. But little do people know that his hobbies include pressing wild flowers, crossdressing, and hanging around in bars. Wishes he was a girly just like his dear papa.

24. Black Swan

Reminds me less of the movie and more of the SNL spoof sketch featuring Jim Carrey. Wonder why.

25. Hotdog Stand

Of course, I’m sure the dog is thrilled with this costume idea. Then again, it’s pretty funny if you really think about it.

26. Cindy Lou Who

Yes, I know that she’s from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. But still, this girl looks so adorable in this costume.

27. Acrobats

It’s what you get when you do a nature documentary with Cirque du Soleil. Get it? Well, at least this costume makes more sense than any of their routines.

28. French Baker and Buns

Seems like this guy can’t keep himself away from her buns. Or are those cakes. Well, they look like buns to me.

29. Ace Ventura

Now if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll get this. The baby is Ace Ventura. The dad is Pittsburgh native, former Miami Dolphins quarterback, and deadbeat dad, Dan Marino,. The mom is disgruntled and crossdressing former Miami Dolphins player Ray Finkle.

30. American Gothic

Based on the famous painting by 20th century American artist Grant Wood. Yes, I know the man has all his hair, but what do you know.

31. John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Of course, I couldn’t forget these two. Didn’t know that John liked to drink Pabst. Still, it’s a shame he got killed like that so young.

32. 50 Shades of Grey

You were expecting something much more kinky. Don’t lie, honestly. Still, I don’t know about you, but I think this costume is better than the book series or the movie.

33. Johnny Cash and June Carter

I guess this was inspired by Walk the Line was it? Of course, June did help Johnny get sober. Then again, he had hit rock bottom that his only options were to either get clean or die.

34. Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan

Yes, I know that Lieutenant Dan is an amputee. But still, at least it wasn’t Forrest and Jenny. Seriously, Jenny was such a dysfunctional human being and Forrest was always saving her ass.

35. The Addams Family

If they did this any earlier than the 1990s, I bet that baby would either be Cousin Itt or Uncle Fester. Any money. Of course, at least Gomez and Morticia are better relationship role models than Romeo and Juliet.

36. Nerds

Yes, these two are nerds all right. Love how they put themselves in a candy box. And they even have different colored socks.

37. One Nightstand

And you thought he was a one night stand. Well, it could still happen as long as this Halloween party goes on. Seriously, hookup culture isn’t new, not new at all.

38. Bob Ross and Happy Little Tree

Yes, Bob Ross certainly likes his happy little trees. The bigger and happier the better. Like the squirrel, too.

39. Paula Deen and Butter

We all know that Paula Deen is a racist. However, she really loves butter which she’s said to put in everything. Still, her food is bound to clog your arteries.

40. Breaking Bad

Of course, this couples costume consists of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. Let’s just say that Jesse’s girlfriends don’t last long and Walt’s wife isn’t much liked on the show. Still, it might be time to cook for them.

41. Candyland

Now these are characters from the creepy game in your childhood. Now there’s Queen Frosty, Princess Lolli, the Candy Cane Lumberjack, and the Cupcake girl. I don’t remember the last one.

42. Clue

For some reason, Mr. Green looks like a 1920s gangster. Still, love the set up in this. And each suspect has their own weapon. Brilliant!

43. Despicable Me

Unfortunately, there are no minions in this family costume. Still, love the look on the the dad's face. Mom's supposed to be Vector by the way. He was the villain in the original movie.

Unfortunately, there are no minions in this family costume. Still, love the look on the the dad’s face. So much like Gru. Mom’s supposed to be Vector by the way. He was the villain in the original movie.

44. Struck by Lightning

Of course, she’d more likely burn to a crisp. But I’m sure applying black makeup would’ve gone badly. Still, quite funny.

45. Bonnie and Clyde

Maybe they’re not as gorgeous as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway. But still, they’re still way better looking than the real life couple. Seriously, they looked like a couple of hicks in real life. And they weren’t nice at all.

46. Milkman and 1950s Housewife

Of course, this is a couple’s costume idea for those in the family way. Still, have you ever heard of “looks like the milkman”? It’s an old saying.

47. Football

Let me guess. It appears to me this costume theme was the dad’s idea. Looks like it. Of course, coach dad and ref mom have a tendency to not always agree on the plays.

48. Roasted Marshmallow

Yes, he’s a roasting marshmallow over an open camp fire. Now that’s pretty clever if you ask me. Love the flames.

49. Beetlejuice

Now this is so funny. Not very familiar with Beetlejuice for some reason. But it’s Tim Burton, so I’ll go with it.

50. Sesame Street

Who needs to sex up Sesame Street characters when you can make tutus with their faces. Now these are great costumes for women. The sexy Bert and Ernie ones were the worst.

51. Error 404

Finally, the Halloween costume for the infamous slacker. All you need is a white T-Shirt and black Sharpie to write the words, “Error 404: Costume Not Found.”

52. Plato

Now this is quite a new spin on the famous philosopher of Ancient Greece. Of course, I’m sure this guy is a philosophy major of some sort.

53. Walt Disney

Well, they have costumes for most of the other Disney characters. So why leave out the big man himself? It would be absurd.

54. Monopoly

Then again, maybe the sexy Monopoly board is a better idea. Seems like old Mr. Pennybags is hoarding some cash. Love the dog token, too.

55. Deer and Hunter

If she’s supposed to be Bambi’s mom, then it’s a disturbing couples’ costume. Wait a minute, she has spots and antlers? I don’t think it’s legal to shoot her, at least in Pennsylvania.

56. Waldo

You know the guy in the books who travels the world but is so hard to find. Can’t tell where he is now.

57. Katniss Everdeen

Let’s just say you don’t want to mess with her when she has her bow and arrow out. I mean she had to kill people with it to survive the Hunger Games. You know the competition where 24 teenagers from Panem are selected to fight to the death.

58. Ginger Bread Man

The guy has bread hanging from him. And he’s a ginger. Get it? Seriously, it’s pretty funny.

59. Fireplace

Yeah, I wouldn’t be too happy either if my head was lopped off and put over a fireplace. Still, you have to feel for the kid.

60. God’s Gift to Women

Or so he thinks. Still, he’s not a bad looking guy. No movie star material but handsome enough for me at least.

61. Swiffer and Mud

Strange to see them getting along so well. Usually Swiffer and mud are mortal enemies. I mean Swiffer is supposed to get rid of dirt, right?

62. Crying Stone Angel

Now you’ve seen statues like this in cemeteries. But have you seen a child dressed like one? I think not.

63. Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins

I’m sure this is the parents’ idea. Kid looks too young to read The Hobbit. Still, quite cute though.

64. The Birds

Yes, she’s the Tippi Hedren character herself. And she’s being pecked by birds. Still, at least she wasn’t the Suzanne Pleshette character who got pecked to death.

65. Ghost Sluts

Finally the sexy costume all women can reasonably look good in. Still, these women are making fun of the sexy costume phenomenon in the retail industry.

66. A Christmas Story

Since TBS airs this movie on Christmas every year, we should all knows who each member is supposed to be. Love the Leg Lamp though. Yeah, pretty funny.

67. Sweepstakes Winners

Look about as what you’d expect from stereotypical winners of Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes. He’s in a tacky Hawaiian shirt and she’s in her nightgown and curlers.

68. KFC

Boy is Colonel Sanders while the girl is a bucket of coronary inducing fried chicken with 11 herbs and spices. Like how they’re using KFC buckets for trick or treating.

69. Flower Pot

Now this is simply adorable if you ask me. Love the pretty flowers on this one. Please don’t water her or she might get mad.

70. Sushi Roll

So cute. Wonder how she moves around in it. Then again, might not be as confining as it appears.

71. Bowl of Spaghetti and Meatballs

Hey, at least it’s better than the baby having spaghetti and meatballs all over them. Still, so cute.

72. Raining Cats and Dogs

Yeah, you know it’s really bad when it’s raining cats and dogs. Still, this one takes it quite literally and with maximum amusement.

73. Elf on the Shelf

Now last Christmas, I did a post on Elf on the Shelf, which was kind of tongue and cheek. Still, he may be cute on the outside. But inside, he’s downright evil.

74. Censored

Move along. Nothing to see here. Also, lady, please put a shirt on. And some pants.

75. Outhouse

Hey, kids, can you move along. This boy really needs privacy while he’s doing his business. Still, if they wanted a dash of authenticity, they should’ve went with the Sears Roebuck catalog.

76. Pinata

I’m sure she had her outfit all covered in streamers. Still, love the cone hats. Looks like she’s ready for a fiesta. But don’t beat her open with a stick.

77. Madeline

Madeline was a series of children’s books about a girl in a small Catholic boarding school in Paris. It was published between 1939 and 1961 but they’re still read because they’re so good, especially for girls. I guess the mom here is Ms. Clavel.

78. Coppertone Girl

Well, the dog hanging from her butt is stuffed. Thank God. But yes, that’s the Coppertone girl.

79. Weatherman in a Hurricane

Now this would be a very scary costume, for a weatherman in Florida. Seriously, you don’t know what those people have to deal with during hurricane season.

80. Cactus

Yes, that guy’s supposed to be a cactus. I know it’s hard to believe. But still, you sometimes have to go with what you have.

81. Minions

I know people wouldn’t make me hear the end of it if I didn’t include these guys. Yes, they’re adorable and their costumes are quite easy to make.

82. Spartan Warrior

Inspired by the movie 300, no doubt. Seriously, Spartan warriors didn’t go into battle wearing speedos for God’s sake. Still, cutest little Spartan warrior I’ve ever seen. Sorry, Gerard Butler.

83. Carmen Sandiego

I know she’s thinking of nabbing some major treasure of worldly significance. Just don’t know where in the world is she.

84. Flo and Mayhem

Seems like Flo let Mayhem happen to her. Then again, at least she has Progressive insurance. Hell, she’s the Progressive lady. And Mayhem works for Allstate. Before that he was Liz Lemon’s jerkass boyfriend Dennis Duffy on 30 Rock who appeared on Dateline’s To Catch a Predator.

85. Toddlers and Tiaras

Now I think that Toddlers Tiaras is a terrible show on the sleaziest cable network TLC. However, I find these costumes quite funny. Like the pacifiers.

86. Ceiling Fan

Yes, she seems to be really into ceilings for some reason. Not sure why. Then again, she’s probably nuts.

87. Dust Bunny

If I saw a rabbit wanting to dust my house, I’d sure let them in. Because I really hate dusting. Really hate it.

88. Pothead

No, not that kind of pothead. This guy is perfectly legal as far as I know. Still, pretty funny. Better watch his head though.

89. Fantasy Football

Now this is the kind of Fantasy Football I can get into. Let’s see, I’ll have Harry Potter as quarterback, Hagrid as linebacker, Snape as offensive tackle, Hermione as running back, and Ron as safety. I’m sure anyone with Brady on their team can’t top that.

90. French KISS

They’re dressed as the members of KISS. And they’re dressed like French. Get it? Love how one of them has a baguette and a glass of wine.

91. Energizer Bunny

Now she’s the kind of girl who keeps going, and going…. Yeah, good for a battery but for a human, not so much.

92. Professor Lorax

My guess is that he’s an environmental science teacher because he speaks for the trees. Still, I bet he wants to show his students how insatiable greed leads to environmental destruction and short-term prosperity. Just ask his friend the Oncler.

93. Chia Pet

Now this is just so clever. But I’m sure the dog is certainly not happy. But I love this. I really do. Just so funny.

94. Brawny Man

Heard that this guy is so hot that people buy his paper towels just for the packaging. Still, it’s a pretty clever costume, especially since he has a manly plaid shirt to match the wrapper.

95. Dumbledora the Explorer

Yes, this Spanish speaking old witch is off to an adventure with her backpack. And yes, she has a rather long wizard beard to prove it.

96. Saddam Hussein Bolt

Yes, he’s an Iraqi strong man dictator who’s also the fastest man alive. Also, he really has an insatiable hatred for the kurds and a batshit insane son who tortures people with an iron maiden.

97. Jersey Shore 50th Anniversary Reunion Special

Yes, they don’t look as young and good looking as they used to be. But you wouldn’t want these people in a nursing home in your neck of the woods. Guess, it’s gym, tan, laundry, prune juice, bingo, and the early bird special.

98. Ancient Aliens

The scariest thing about this guy is that people actually believe him and his theories about the origins of notable monuments. Makes me want to tear my hair out as a history major. I mean this guy is just full of shit if you ask me.

99. Captain Canada

Because it’s about time that Canada has its own superhero. Wait a minute, they already do. Seriously, Wolverine’s from that country and he’s the best known X-man ever. But you wouldn’t know it.

100. Trailer Park Avengers

Basically, these would be the Avengers if Marvel studios wasn’t making big budget movies. Also, if Thor, the Hulk, and Captain America weren’t as hot and didn’t have Ironman to pay for their gear and collateral damage.

The Creepy, Crawly World of Scary Halloween Craft Projects

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2015

Now Halloween is a holiday that pertains to many frightful decorations which include pumpkins, monsters, spider webs, skeletons, zombies, witches, ghouls, vampires, and so much more. Still, there are plenty of people who tend to go all out when it comes to decorating their homes for this scary holiday. Some decorate their homes for parties and trick or treaters. Others do it because they simply love Halloween and want to make their homes look as ghoulish and scary as possible. Of course, you can find plenty of Halloween decorations at your local store this time of year. However, sometimes it’s just cheaper and fun to make your own with rather simple materials that you can find anywhere. I mean why buy cobwebs when you can do just fine with pillow stuffing or cheese cloth? You can even use Halloween decorations, too that are easy to accessorize like skeletons and spiders. Nevertheless, many children might create Halloween decorations in school. However, this post features craft projects more likely made by people who’ve already left fifth grade behind them, particularly Halloween enthusiasts, partiers, parents, and repressed art majors wanting a creative outlet to express themselves. So without further delay to Creepyville, I now present you with a treasury of Halloween craft creations.

Welcome visitors to your Halloween party with a creepy spider and feather wreath on your front door.

Let’s just say anyone with arachnaphobia will sure find this wreath simply terrifying. I mean we all know at least someone who’s afraid of spiders. Am I right?

2. Of course, from what I can tell by these poppies, beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder.

But having eyeballs in the flowers, well, that’s just damn creepy. I mean an eyeball is creepy enough when it’s not in an eye socket. Seriously, it’s gross.

3. Greet trick or treaters at your front door with this monster wreath.

Now this is not very scary in the least since it kind of reminds you of Cookie Monster’s cousin. But I’m sure your guests will love it, especially kids.

4. Of course, no haunted abode can be complete without your very own electric chair.

This isn’t a real, working electric chair. Just a piece of Halloween decoration. Still, I have to admit, it’s very well made that I suspect someone had too much time on their hands.

5. I hear that bones are really good for wind chimes. Won’t you agree?

Yes, I know that neighbors might think there’s something very wrong with you upon looking at this. Luckily, it’s October so any creepy decorations like this are perfectly acceptable. So creep away.

6. Experts recommend that you keep your insects in apothecary jars with green slime.

Don’t worry, the bugs are made from plastic so they’re not poisonous. Not sure about the green slime though.

7. For Halloween, grace your front door with this one-of-a-kind Purple People Eater Wreath.

Now this seems quite simple. But it doesn’t seem too scary either. More like a purple cyclops on Sesame Street. Love the horn though.

8. Heard of a spider web? How about a spider web quilt?

Now my cousin had a giant stuffed spider named Charles when he was a kid. This would’ve been the perfect quilt for him at the time.

9. Make your home extra spooky by making these Halloween paper lanterns.

Use construction paper and cut out black silhouettes to stand out. You can even hang them overhead or put them on the ground. It doesn’t matter.

10. Light up the living room for Halloween with a spooky lamp like this.

Now that’s a spooky lamp with black cob webs galore. Of course, it’s a much more tasteful decoration than black lighting.

11. Now I’m sure Halloween is the only time this mummy wreath isn’t under wraps.

The mummy wraps seem to be made from cheese cloth. And the bow is tied with a couple of skeleton hands hanging from it.

12. Spider webs always look better with purple glitter.

Yes, purple and glittery spider webs with spiders on them. And they’re held by ribbon, too.

13. Uh-oh, looks like we have a zombies in the vent again.

Boy, I’m sure Walking Dead fans want to have a Halloween decoration like this in their homes. Freak out the guests for hours.

14. Dripping candles are always a scary addition, especially if they are black and have skulls on them.

Now I think the flames aren’t real but rather electric. And I think the drip is of crayon or paper machete. However, the skulls sure are sparkly and in different colors.

15. Nothing makes a Halloween party worthwhile than a bottle of boos.

That’s right a bottle of haunting ghost screams bound to give you nightmares. Then again, you might experience some frightening hallucinations if you drink the amount of booze Ray Milland did in The Lost Weekend.

16. How would you want to be greeted by a scary skull like this?

Now this is scary Halloween craftsmanship at its best. It almost looks like it’s been a fixture on the house since the time it was built.

17. A purple witch’s hat always has to come with a few finishing touches.

And by that I mean spiders, bat design, a black flower, black feathers, and tut material. This including the purple as well as black and sparkly kind.

18. This scary skull box will certainly scare the bejesus out of your guests at the Halloween party.

Yes, these are screaming skulls from a box. And it’s tied with barbed wire. Scary but don’t touch it if you dare.

19. Remember that craft cottages make excellent haunted houses painted black.

Well, painting black craft cottages is easy enough to make haunted houses. Yes, black makes things creepy, indeed.

20. Of course, scare your young guests with this spider web wreath of yarn.

Now you have a yarn spider web in the middle. And you have balls of yarn surrounding it as well as the spiders going around the border. Pretty clever if I do say so myself.

21. Don’t have time to make another jack o’ lantern? Make some jack o’ lantern lights with jars.

And the best part is you can paint them in all kinds of different colors, too. Also, you can give them all kinds of faces. Besides, painting is much easier than carving. And safer, too.

22. So these signs show you all where you want to go? So where would it be, Transylvania, Amityville, Salem, Sleepy Hollow, or Roswell?

“Hey, Igor, Transylvania’s that way.” Still, I’d stay out of Salem in 1692. And I’d clear out of Sleepy Hollow in the 18th century. Not so sure about Amityville or Roswell.

23. Of course, if you have a pumpkin, you can use stuff from a craft store to make a centerpiece with it.

Now this pumpkin is so shiny, especially with the black bird and ribbon on top. Still, I really like the urn and the other decorations on it. So stunning and scary.

24. Oh, my God, this book is on fire!

Actually this is a craft project in which it’s supposed to look like a spell book. The flames are an imitation. Still, hope the faux spell book was from the Twilight series. Then again, it looks quite old.

25. You can make a great wreath with a murder of crows.

Actually these are black birds you can find in any craft store. Still, having them together as a wreath with glitter on them might make your guests wonder about you.

26. Serve your guests with this skeleton dish.

Yes, it’s a dish that has skeleton bones on it. A great kind of dish to serve stuff for a Halloween party.

27. Want a jack o’ lantern but can’t find a big enough pumpkin? Well, using a wood crate will do nicely.

Now that will definitely get your house noticed by drivers. However, I can’t do something like that since my parents would need those wooden planks to stack firewood on.

28. Of course, a black cheese cloth and skulls really go well with a picture frame.

Now this is supposed to resemble cobwebs and skulls with feathers and bones. Yes, it’s creative use with picture frames at its finest.

29. A witch’s boot is always a great place for black flowers.

Now this is has witch all over it as you can see with all the witch memorabilia. Love the black flowers though.

30. Hello, trick or treaters, and remember the witch is in.

And it seems that she’s very stuck in the planter outside. Wonder what spell she’ll cast to get out of that cauldron.

31. Grace your front door for Halloween with a wreath of masks.

Seems like they’ve been strung together but you’ll never know. However, it might create a dilemma for the Phantom of the Opera. However, that guy has major issues.

32. Milk cartons always make handy haunted houses when decorated with the right materials.

Now this is an elementary craft project at expert level. Seriously, no elementary art class would ever create haunted houses from milk cartons as amazing as these.

33. Scare trick or treaters by greeting them with a wreath of snakes.

If you have a priceless trinket in your home that “belongs in a museum,” it’s a great way to ward off reckless archaeologist Indiana Jones. Seriously, when it comes to treasures, he’s willing to wreck entire ancient temples with working machinery to get them.

34. An old mirror is always great for greeting Halloween guests.

And this old mirror definitely looks like it’s been in the garage for far too long. Then again, it also has black leaves on it, too. Yes, it was made like that on purpose.

35. Welcome to our humble Halloween home, Don’t mind the feet sticking out from the doormat.

Yeah, I’m sure that witch really didn’t come to a good end there. Well, at least she wasn’t wearing ruby slippers or had a shoe crazy sister.

36. Seems like this ghoul really likes to hang out in this person’s yard for some reason.

Now this implies covering a mannequin with old white or gray clothes. It helps if they’re really tattered or old looking.

37. Who knew that doilies make really good spider webs?

Now unless you don’t want to make the doilies, this might be rather easy to pull off. Then again, I’m sure that they might have doilies at any local store like Big Lots.

38. For Halloween, a snake is great for tying the curtains.

No, this isn’t a real snake. I think it might be an old belt from the looks of it. Still, guaranteed to keep Indiana Jones away from your house.

39. I always thought that black lace goes very well with candles.

Why didn’t I think about using black lace with candles? This looks awesome. Still, hope burning lace doesn’t pose a dangerous fire hazard.

40. Have you ever got the feeling that you were being watched by this wreath?

Now this eyeball wreath is super creepy. I mean regular eyeballs are disturbing enough. Glow in the dark eyeballs, now that’s a whole new level of creepiness.

41. I hear that cheese cloth ghosts make great chandelier decorations.

Not sure if these ghosts make your house haunted for Halloween. However, it’s still quite worth trying out if you ask me.

42. Of course, paper ghosts can be just as scary if you think about it.

Of course, you can hang these on a ceiling, too. However, they’re better to photograph while on the hardwood floor.

43. Eeek! There are creepy crawlies in my soap!

Actually these soaps were made this way. It’s supposed to freak visitors out during Halloween parties. Still, wonder if I should try this.

44. Now these black flowers would surely go well on any Halloween fireplace mantle.

Now Morticia Addams would totally want these in her home, especially on Valentines Day. Still, wonder why she tends to cut off the flowers though.

45. Of course, a dismembered finger always makes a great writing implement.

Yes, this is a finger pen. Yes, you can write with it. Yes, it’s creepy as hell. Don’t ask.

46. For Halloween, greet visitors with this one-of-a-kind Halloween wreath.

Now this wreath seems mostly laced with black streamers. Also, resembles a wreath you’d expect to see in a funeral home.

47. Got old photos lying in your house? Then make them look even scarier with red eyes and fangs.

Of course, you might want to use old photos you found on the Internet. Or just scan the old photos with a copier. Your family wouldn’t be happy if you use the old ones lying around in your house.

48. Looks like these two skeletons seem to be in a hurry to hide the body.

“Hurry up and bury him before somebody sees us, Alex. You don’t want the neighbors getting suspicious.”

49. Man, this lamp is so old that you’d swear that there are cobwebs and spiders all over it.

Actually this is a craft project, especially since cobwebs are either gray or white. The black cobwebs is actually dyed cheese cloth. Besides, most spiders aren’t that big.

50. Remember, you never know what can go bump in the night.

Now this makes a great Halloween yard decoration. Sure to freak out a few trick or treaters to the point of wetting themselves.

51. Of course, black birds always cater to black candles.

Now this doesn’t use real candle flames. But it does look quite eerie. Still, like the bird and like the glitter.

52. Welcome to my humble home and I mean no bones about it.

I’m sure this skeleton is just hanging around to greet the guests. Doesn’t really mean to scare anybody.

53. Oh, my God, did I just see a ghost in the yard?

A ghost decoration like this might scare the hell out of drivers. And it might attract ghost hunters. Then again, ghost hunters tend to go to old houses.

54. Man, I haven’t used these candlesticks in ages. But I didn’t expect them to be this covered in cobwebs.

Actually these consist of cheese cloths and plastic spiders on the candlesticks. They also have old leaves for a more decrepit look.

55. Of course, you can always see ghosts in the light.

And it seems these little ghosts are having a good time on this bonsai with lights on it. Of course, some are more ornery than others.

56. When it comes to jars, you can also make your own spooky grave yard scene.

Now this is cool. Love how they paint the jars just the right color to show a sunset as the spooky stuff comes into play.

57. Hey, this isn’t Christmas yet. Oh, wait.

Now this is a real monster wreath. For those who really love The Nightmare Before Christmas, this also makes a great yuletide decoration as well.

58. Sorry, everyone, but it looks like the wreath is infested with spiders at the moment.

Now this is said to cost under $3. However, to arachnophobic visitors, it might mean a lifetime of therapy.

59. With streamers, wires, and string, you can make your own spider nest.

Now this is very creepy and will certainly creep out your Halloween party guests. Anyone scared of spiders might want to avoid your place next time.

60. If you look up, I wonder if you can see the witch’s underwear.

I’ve seen a few of these on Pinterest. Actually I’ve seen a lot of these. And yes, this usually requires an umbrella.

61. Remember that a flower pot makes a great Halloween bat wind chime.

Might be as scary as the other decorations on here. But it’s pretty cute it’s worth putting on this post.

62. Looks like we have some mad killer on the loose in this neighborhood.

My mistake, these are Halloween decorations. But you have to admit despite how disgusting it looks, the bloody corpse in body bags has to be quite clever.

63. For those who love Little Shop of Horrors, you can now make your very own Audrey II plant.

Of course, this isn’t nearly as dangerous as the one you see in the movies. Just to note, the original movie had Seymour sacrificing himself to kill the plant.

64. Greet your visitors this Halloween with this black wreath of shiny baubles.

Now this looks quite pretty for a Halloween decoration. Then again, this seems to be borrowing from Christmas.

65. For your Halloween party, impress your visitors with your very own Nevermore Wreath.

Yes, bird is supposed to be a raven despite looking rather small. Still, love the black flowers on this though.

66. Hey, I didn’t know that spider string glowed in the dark.

Actually someone made them this way. Not sure if spiders actually spin stuff like that. But still looks cool.

67. Got some old bones lying around? Then how about make a wreath?

Actually don’t use real skeletons for this because it’s illegal as well as downright creepy. A dollar store skeleton would do just fine. Still, pretty weird though and I give no bones about it.

68. If you have any masks lying around, I’m sure they’ll go great with some old, dirty cloth pieces.

Now this is pretty scary decor for a haunted house. Yeah, those masks are downright creepy if you ask me, especially when made to resemble ghosts.

69. Hello, hang up your coat and stay awhile.

Now this is freaky. Using baby doll limbs for coat hooks. Probably one of the sickest shop class projects ever.

70. Seems that the black birds really like to roost on that dead branch for some reason.

Yes, the branch is covered in lights for effect and the birds are quite small. But still, it’s quite awesome if you ask me.

71. Greet visitors to your Halloween party with this ghost hanging on your front porch.

Of course, this is made from some stuff you might be able to find at a craft store or a trash heap. Yeah, probably doesn’t look as scary in the day time.

72. Of course, your small black birds always could use a rest on a bonsai tree.

Of course, I’m not sure about the tree being alive or dead. But the birds really give it a good Halloween feel to it.

73. Now this fuzzy black wreath with flowers will certainly impress your Halloween visitors.

Now this looks like something you might find either at the Addams family house or at a funeral parlor. Then again, you might see something like this at the Munsters,’ too.

74. Of course, these three witches are just outside hanging out. Not trying to scare anybody.

Man, their outfits sure look way colorful than I expected them. Seems like one of them is particularly partial to yellow for some reason.

75. Of course, Halloween wouldn’t be complete with a bloody face of skin.

Now this is disgusting. But I’m sure this is the kind of stuff you see in a slasher horror movie. Not sure if I like it though.

76. Quick! There are hands sticking out of the fireplace! Run for your lives!

Of course, this is a cardboard Halloween decoration. It won’t harm anybody. Still, pretty cool if you ask me.

77. Can’t find a skeleton at the dollar store? Then make one with some milk jugs.

Now this is quite clever. Not quite close to a skeleton you find in a store. But if you want a last minute decoration, this will do fine.

78. Make your house haunted with a black flower wreath like this one.

Again, another wreath that kind of looks like it belongs in a funeral parlor. Still, I think it’s pretty and I like it. So it goes on this post.

79. Oh, my God, did I just see Freddy Kreuger on the toilet?

I’m not a fan of slasher horror movies nor the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Still, I know there will be plenty of people who’d appreciate this.

80. Of course, we should all mourn the loss of the Wicked Witch of the East with a Halloween celebration in Munchkin land of course.

Then again, I think the munchkins were quite creepy in The Wizard of Oz for some reason. Still, I wouldn’t touch those ruby slippers if I were you.

81. So I guess this is what they do at witches’ meetings.

Now these witches are made of some trash bags as you see here. Still, might make my parents mad if I try to attempt this.

82. As they say, it’s not Halloween unless you can hang candles from the ceiling.

Of course, these must be toilet paper or paper towel rolls. And I’m sure the candles are fake. But still reminds me of Harry Potter for some reason. I wonder why.

83. I knew tables had legs but this is ridiculous.

Now this is creepy. If someone had a table like this, I’d question their sanity. That is, unless it’s Halloween of course.

84. Welcome to our humble home, don’t mind the encased samples in the living room.

Now this is pretty disgusting. Who could’ve thought up with this, I may never know. Still, wonder if it might cause some trick and treaters to vomit. Then again, some might think this is cool.

85. Heard the candy corn makes great soil for these spider bushes for some reason.

Of course, despite being Halloween inspired, they still remind me of a plant you’d see in a Dr. Seuss story. Not sure why.

86. Now I wonder who these masked people clad in black are. Must be some weirdos on their way to a masquerade ball.

Now these look so creepy because they almost seem real. I swear I’ve seen pictures of people dressed like that at a Venice carnival.

87. Of course, a paper witch’s hat is always a great home for birds.

Not sure if the bird is a raven or crow. Then again, you can barely tell the real birds apart anyway. Well, unless they’re in the same picture together. In that case, the raven is bigger.

88. Hello, everyone, and please don’t mind the remains in the trash bin. I’ve been trying to get rid of them since Tuesday.

Now this is quite disgusting. Not sure what I’d think of seeing this in somebody’s yard. Still, you have to admire their use of red paint to bring out the gore.

89. For Halloween lawn decor, you might want to take a nontraditional approach with flamingos.

Well, skeleton flamingos of course. Don’t know about you but I think they’re far less tacky than the actual lawn ornaments we know and love.

90. Nothing to see here. Just a floating skeleton looking for the rest of his anatomy.

Of course, you might want to keep away from the candles. They might catch fire on something. Still, this is pretty clever.

91. Haunt your Halloween hideaway with these dark angels of death.

Now you can find these angels in any craft store. And you can paint them as dark and dead looking as you like, too.

92. Greet your Halloween party guests by gracing your front door with this tombstone wreath.

Not sure if anyone would find this dead funny. However, it might send some thinking that you’re dead crazy. Still, the wreath looks like something you’d see in a cemetery.

93. Seems like this spider really wants to create a giant web from a giant frame.

Of course, I can bet that this web was made by a tone of black yarn. Still quite cool though. However, I doubt that a spider would spin a web that big.

94. Seems like someone’s cauldron has blown right over.

Yeah, I think leaving the cauldron bubbling like that is very irresponsible. There should be at least a witch standing by here. You never know what a potion is going to do.

95. Of course, Halloween night wouldn’t be complete without a quilt like this.

Yes, this is perhaps the ultimate Halloween quilt. But if you want one, I’d recommend buying one. Quilts take a very long time to make.

96. Heard of a jack o’ lantern? The how about a jack o’ lampshade?

Now this is quite cool if you ask me. And unlike a real pumpkin you can still use it as much as you like and it won’t smell after a few weeks.

97. Hate to interrupt, but I think that plant might be watching us.

Now that's freaky. Seems like something you'd see in a mad scientist's house. A really batshit insane mad scientist with a German accent like Peter Lorre. Or Conrad Veidt.

Now that’s freaky. Seems like something you’d see in a mad scientist’s house. A batshit insane mad scientist with a German accent like Peter Lorre. Or Conrad Veidt.

98. Who knew that spiders spin their webs in picture frames?

Now this looks quite simple to make. Just get some string and a picture frame. Then again, it might be a not at easy to make a spider web as it seems.

99. Of course, when it comes to trick or treat, the candy doesn’t hang far from the tree.

Now this is cute. Just a jack o’ lantern and a small tree with treat bags. I’m sure people will love this.

100. Of course, it wouldn’t be Halloween if I didn’t include some crystal ball specimens.

Now this is freaky. Of course, in a post like this, you’re bound to have some scary and disgusting decorations here.

Not Licensed by the NFL Professional Football Craft Projects

Posted by historymaniacmegan on September 13, 2015

Now the felt black and gold scarf I’m wearing was most certainly a craft project. I’m not sure where I got it from but it probably wasn’t licensed by the NFL because it wasn’t intended to sell.

Disclaimer: Some of this content may or may not be licensed by the NFL as far as I’m concerned. It’s said that products not NFL licensed can’t really be sold. But on this post, who really gives a shit. Besides, many of these products might be sold on Etsy anyways as we speak. Some might not be even on sale at all. And even if they’re not licensed and unsold, I’ll still show them anyway. So suck it, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

You normally don’t think of football and crafty projects as things that go together. I mean you always hear the joke about the guy forgoing his sports obsession so his wife can go to the craft show. However, as I’ve navigated the uncharted waters of Pinterest, you tend to find a lot of sports inspired craft projects for some reason. Of course, some may say that they were made by moms, but sometimes it’s not always the case. I mean craft projects tend to cover a wide range and I’m sure there are plenty of women sports fans. Not to mention, you have NFL legend Rosey Grier who was a defensive tackle as well as one of the original Fearsome Foursome for the then Los Angeles Rams as well as got elected to the Pro Bowl twice. However, off the field, Grier was known for his unusual hobbies like needlepoint and macrame. Not only that, but he also wrote a book in 1973 called Rosey Grier’s Needlepoint for Men. So let’s just say the association between the NFL and craft projects isn’t as far fetched as you think. And I guarantee that people make all kinds of things to support their team as you might see on Pinterest or Etsy. So if you’re just a fan who likes to work with their hands, here is an assortment of NFL crafts for your viewing pleasure and possible inspiration.

For keeping warm in Wisconsin, you might want to go with a Green Bay Packers quilt.

Now this quilt is guaranteed to protect you from the cold as well as passionate Green Bay Packers fans. Yes, they can be a rowdy bunch if you let them.

2. A boy’s room can’t be without a Denver Broncos football lamp.

Now this Broncos lamp will look great in any little Denver boy’s room. Of course, it’s possible that one of the South Park kids has this.

3. No little Dallas Cowboys fan should go without their very own crotchet cowboy hat and boots.

Well, it’s appropriate for a young Dallas Cowboy fan. However, the problem with little kid clothes is that they tend to grow out of them very quickly.

4. A Seahawks crocheted cap will certainly keep you snug in Seattle.

And they seem to come in multiple sizes. Still, love the hawk motif on them. However, I think the smaller one might be a bit more angry.

5. Drink a toast with a hand painted New England Patriots wine glass.

Of course, Patriots fans, it’s best to hold a toast before the cheating allegations get out. And not when Tom Brady’s suspension is lifted so he can start as quarterback in the opening game.

6. Let this wooden cross signify that Gold bless the Dallas Cowboys.

Yes, I know that Cowboys fans may be good Christians. But nevertheless, as someone from the Pittsburgh area, I have strong doubts that God is on their side.

7. This little Pittsburgh Steelers doll waves her Terrible Towel in pride.

Now this is adorable with her little smile and pigtails. Also love her black and gold stockings.

8. Any football fan should show their team spirit with their very own fan of lace.

And it seems like these consist of the Dallas Cowboys, the San Francisco 49ers, the Oakland Raiders, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Not to mention, the 49ers fan comes in black or white lace.

9. You can’t have a wreath supporting the Miami Dolphins if you don’t have feathers and ribbons.

I guarantee that you’ll see a lot of wreaths in this post. And yes, I admit that this wreath possesses the some degree of tackiness. But you can say the same about Florida.

10. You can’t welcome guests for game day without an Oakland Raiders lamp post.

I’m sure this decoration was rarely used for a Super Bowl party. Knowing how the Raiders don’t have a great track record.

11. Nothing makes tailgating better than a Detroit Lions lawn chair.

They have lawn chairs for each team by the way. And they’re all painted and made from wood. So they’re more durable than their plastic counterparts.

12. Don’t have a tailgating centerpiece? You can always make one yourself.

This one is for the Washington Redskins. And the fact it’s DIY is quite obvious. But still, anything with Redskins imagery is said to be offensive to Native Americans. For obvious reasons.

13. Top off your pencils with your very own Indianapolis Colts pencil toppers.

Seems like one of the more useless craft projects ever. Seriously, bare pencils look professional. Pencils with canvas decorations look stupid.

14. A little girl must always shine in her little Seattle Seahawks ribbon trimmed tutu.

Yes, there are even crafts where people can decorate NFL tutus for some reason. Of course, this is for a little girl so its adorable for now.

15. Bring the football spirit outside with this Green Bay Packers birdhouse.

Comes with its very own grill and beer keg. Still, it looks as if it was fashioned by Lincoln logs for some reason.

16. Though these two may be rooting for different teams, they always try to keep their marriage strong.

My cousins from Maryland seriously need to get this for their parents on their next wedding anniversary. Still, it’s kind of funny how my Uncle Mike didn’t speak to my Aunt Jane for 2 days after the Steelers won a game against the Ravens in a major upset.

17. Why wear a player jersey while you can don a Denver Broncos apron for the big game?

Well, at least you don’t have to worry about players being traded. Of course, I’m not sure about the orange strap on the front though.

18. Relax and enjoy the tailgate party with this New England Patriots lawn chair cushion.

Of course, there’s a strong chance that this might be deflated like the New England Patriots’ footballs. Have to get that out there somewhere.

19. For Christmas why don’t you hang a candy cane San Francisco 49ers snow flake on your Christmas tree?

Now this is an elaborate ornament for a Christmas tree. Of course, Not sure where they got the gold and red snowflakes from. But I think this ornament should be kept higher in the tree to keep away from small children and animals.

20. Even minions love the Green Bay Packers.

Now this is an ornament made from clay. However, let’s just say that minions are seen almost everywhere in the craft world since they’re so easy to make.

21. Have old glass bottles lying around? Then why not make Dallas Cowboys bottle lamps out of them?

Okay, I’m not a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. But even I have to admit that these are really nice bottle lamps.

22. You don’t need a lot of ribbon and decorations to make a New Orleans Saints wreath.

It’s also not well known that many New Orleans Saints craft decorations can also be used for Mardi Gras. Well, if you don’t put much emphasis on the color scheme.

23. This Seattle Seahawks dress will certainly make game day a blast.

Now I’m not sure about the green stripes on the top. Then again, maybe this dress is in very poor lighting.

24. Have your tailgate party on game day with a Houston Texans mosaic table.

I’m sure this took a long time to build and put in a mosaic. Of course, the person who made this at least supports a team with an easy logo.

25. Keep your feet nice and warm with these NFL fleece boot liners.

Now we have the Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Or as I call it teams from places where it gets really cold and/or wet.

26. Seems like this Minnesota Vikings fan has a quilt on full display.

Yes, this is my second quilt on this post. But it's on display with a square pattern. Not to mention, this dog seems very happy about it.

Yes, this is the second quilt on this post. But it’s on display with a square pattern. Not to mention, this dog seems very happy about it.

27. Cook tailgate dishes on game day with this Dallas Cowboys apron.

Reminds me of the kind of aprons you see women wearing in 1950s sitcoms. You know the black and white shows you see the mom being immaculately dressed in the late afternoon with perfect hair.

28. Of course, if you can’t put lights in a bottle, you can always use a mason jar.

Now these consist of the Philadelphia Eagles, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Dallas Cowboys. And each one is a color respective to their team.

29. For little girls, a San Diego Chargers dress is perfect for game day.

Now this is adorable. Also, said to be made from an old pillow case. Not only that, but it also comes with a couple of bows.

30. With a feather boa, a strong blue Christmas ribbon, a horseshoe cardboard piece, and a hanger, you too, can make your very own Indianapolis Colts wreath.

Now this is quite flashy for NFL craft projects. However, you can tell this was made from a hanger because it doesn’t look quite round. But, hey, what can you do.

31. Some people buy their own grills. Others make them, especially this Dallas Cowboys fan with too much time on his hands.

Comes with a cooler, bucket, trash can, and more. Still, hope this one runs on charcoal and not propane. But you have to wonder why anyone would even make this in their garage.

32. Now you can store your favorite sweets in these NFL candy dispensers.

Now these come in San Francisco 49ers, Oakland Raiders, Denver Broncos, Pittsburgh Steelers, and San Diego Chargers. Of course, what candy you put in depends on you. But I would recommend that you avoid Dum Dums lollipops.

33. This Philadelphia Eagles flower pony tail holder is bound to make any young fan look pretty.

Now they have a lot of these and for every team. But since I didn’t put anything from the Eagles, this will do.

34. Any Christmas tree in Wisconsin can’t be complete without a Green Bay Packers light bulb ornament.

Interesting how many craft projects involved making stuff from recycled materials. For all I know this could be a light bulb that burned out.

35. An avid fan just can’t go to a winter game without a Denver Broncos crocheted helmet.

It might keep you warm during the winter. But it won’t protect you from a concussion. Still, a very clever design.

36. Even this wooden snowman supports the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Now this is quite adorable. Of course, it can’t hold a football and Terrible Towel. However, still manages to show its spirit.

37. This little snowman is showing its spirit for the Detroit Lions.

I think they have snowmen like this for all the teams. But unlike the other snowman, this one is fully clothed and sewn with denim.

38. Now you can’t spend football game night without a New Orleans Saints table light.

I think this creation was made with two dollar store picture frames. And I guess the fleur de lis came from printed paper.

39. Light up your lawn with this Green Bay Packers spotlight.

I wonder if this produces a logo like bat signal. Also, I’m sure some comic book geek wants to make one of their own only with a different shape instead of a Packers logo.

40. Nothing makes you a true football fan like a crocheted Minnesota Vikings viking hat.

Now this looks quite crazy with the long horns and the braided pigtails. And I think this one might be made for a baby of either gender.

41. Nothing makes your home look better than a Baltimore Ravens stone edging.

Of course, I’m sure my Uncle Mike might want this. However, my Aunt Jane certainly won’t let him. Also, they have these in straight edge as well as for all teams.

42. Light it up with a Pittsburgh Steelers pipe lamp.

Made with the kind of pipes you might leave in your garage or buy at a hardware store. Also, pulled by a black and gold football string.

43. Celebrate this Christmas by putting a New York Giants fan elf ornament on your Christmas tree.

Seems like the North Pole elves are Giants fans for some reason. Then again, beating the New England Patriots in two Super Bowls probably would put those guys on Santa’s “nice” list.

44. Keep warm during the winter with this crocheted Chicago Bears hat.

Now this seems like a fashionable style for some people. Then again, for others, it looks as if it’s straight out from the 1970s.

45. Kick back and relax with these Kansas City Chiefs flowery flip flops.

Of course, these are for women since they haven’t put flowers on men’s clothing items since the 1970s. Still, quite summery for football season aren’t they?

46. Your Christmas tree always looks great with a Carolina Panthers snowman ornament.

Surprising that a snowman could be a fan of the Carolina Panthers. Because I’m sure that they don’t have many people building snowmen in the Carolinas during the winter, especially during the Christmas season. Hell, where I live doesn’t get a lot of snow that time of year either.

47. Watch the game with your very own Chicago Bears pillow couch.

Well, it looks like a loveseat since it appears quite small. Still, sometimes photographs can disguise the size.

48. Wrap your baby in their very own Cleveland Browns baby blanket.

Hate to say this, Cleveland, but brown doesn’t make a great team color. Take it from someone who knows. Also, calling your team “the Browns” isn’t much better either.

49. Bedazzle your guests with this jeweled Denver Broncos tumbler.

Not sure of how I feel about decorating drinking vessels with jewels. On one hand, I might like stuff like this. But on the other hand, it just seems so tacky for some reason.

50. Have your dog show support for your team with this New York Jets crocheted Mohawk doggie hat.

Of course, this gives New York Jets fans another opportunity to make their dogs look ridiculous. As if dogs need it already (they don’t). Besides, when it comes to sports fandom, let’s leave pets out of it.

51. You can’t be the ultimate fan without a Denver Broncos horse hat.

Now this is an interesting hat. But I’m sure it’s made for little kids. Nevertheless, it’ll make an interesting conversation piece either way.

52. Have a festive entry way with this Jacksonville Jaguars ribbon and print wreath.

Now this is another ribbon wreath but it also has prints containing footballs and animal prints. Of course, this wreath was uploaded by a user and is most likely not for sale.

53. Create a winter atmosphere with this Baltimore Ravens frosty glass block.

Now they have these for all the different teams. But I don’t have a lot of Baltimore Ravens stuff on here. However, I’m sure that this one would look better without the team logo.

54. Go to the game in style with this Atlanta Falcons dress.

Now this might be a slimmer fit as well as made by old materials. However, while it’s bright red color may help you stand out, it won’t be the case at a Falcons game.

55. Light up your house for game day with this Pittsburgh Steelers mosaic lamp.

This photo only shows the lamp’s base. But it’s basically all you need to see, for now.

56. Drink a toast during the game with this Tampa Bay Buccaneers Crown Royal glass.

Yes, it looks like a stained glass bottle used to store alcoholic drinks. But still, pirates love their rum. And besides, it’s hand painted.

57. Make your hair stunning with this Buffalo Bills headband.

Not be an exact logo but it’s certainly an A for effort. Also, this is probably one of the easier craft projects to do on this post.

58. Protect yourself from the cold with this Cincinnati Bengals crocheted Mohawk hat.

Yes, this might look kind of ridiculous on someone. But at least this hat was made for humans, not pets. Why people want to dress their pets, I have no idea.

59. Celebrate the Christmas season with your very own Pittsburgh Steelers reindeer.

Well, it may not have a red nose. But it does have Steeler antlers, a Terrible Towel scarf, and Steeler leg bands.

60. Give a big impression with an Arizona Cardinals stained glass sun catcher.

Now I’m sure this would be great to show support for your team as well as wreak rival fans with glare. And yes, that’s a big cardinal.

61. These Atlanta Falcons booties are great for tiniest fans.

Of course, any baby who wears this might not learn to appreciate the joys of their team until they’re older. Because I know these things are out there for pleasing the parents.

62. Drink to your health with this Tennessee Titans mason jar wine glass.

Of course, cleaning this might depend on the kind of dishwasher you have. But at least it has a lid to keep your wine from spilling if you’re not drinking it.

63. Show your teams pride with this Seattle Seahawks necklace pendant.

Now this is made from ribbons and put in the shape of a star. It’s also held by a chain, by the way.

64. Keep warm from the elements with this crocheted Saint Louis Rams cap.

And it has a horn just like you see in the Rams’s helmets. Made for a child, so I’m sorry if you older fans are disappointed.

65. Keep warm this season with this Seattle Seahawks square scarf.

Now this scarf is made with Seahawks and bright green squares, all sewn together. Not sure what it’ll look like on somebody though.

66. Deck your halls with this Miami Dolphins Christmas tree ornament.

Now this is a stuffed ornament with ribbons and cloth. Yet, at least it’s not a snowman because we all know that Miami doesn’t see a single snowflake all year round. Well, unless you count their dolphin mascot from Ace Ventura.

67. Style your hair with your very own Pittsburgh Steelers bow.

Yes, they have these. Oh, and yes, they do have one for every team. Of course, upon seeing this my Aunt Jane might consider getting one of these for my cousin Ava.

Yes, they have these. Oh, and yes, they do have one for every team. Of course, it’s cute and adorable in black an gold. And I picked the Steelers one since it shows up better.

68. Now this Washington Redskins quilt uses quite an elaborate design.

Now I really like the star pattern. However, we should all acknowledge that this won’t be accepted at a Native American casino. Of course, why the Redskins don’t change their name is beyond me.

69. Decorate your lawn with a very special Green Bay Packers flamingo.

Hate to say this, but I kind of expect to see an NFL themed flamingo to depicts teams like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and the the Miami Dolphins. Yet, this a Green Bay Packers one, a team that resides in a place where there are no flamingos whatsoever.

70. Now you, too, can cuddle up with your very own Saint Louis ram.

Now this is so adorable that even a young Rams fan might appreciate it. However, it does look a bit angry if you look at its eyes.

71. Drink in style with a bejeweled Houston Texans wine glass.

If it’s not bejeweled tumblers, it’s bejeweled wine glasses. Seriously, do people not understand that such wine glasses are tacky not classy?

72. Have sweet dreams with your very own Pittsburgh Steelers dream catcher.

Remember a dream catcher is meant to protect people against experiencing nightmares. Or as Steeler fans see it, dreams involving a Super Bowl with the New England Patriots squaring off against the Dallas Cowboys. That or the Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl.

73. Keep your neck warm from the cold with this San Francisco 49ers fringe scarf.

Hey, I got one of these as you see in my opening picture. Except that it’s black and gold and not too fancy.

74. Now you can hang up stuff on your very own Seattle Seahawks bulletin board.

Of course, they have these for all the teams as you may know. But I’m sure that some Seahawks fans don’t want to be reminded of what went down during the last Super Bowl.

75. Prepare your tailgate platter with this Green Bay Packers quilted table spread.

Actually this might be more appropriate for a buffet table which isn’t normally used for food. Well, if it’s beautifully furnished anyway. Well, why they call it a buffet table, I really don’t understand.

76. Keep the room smelling nice with these Denver Broncos scented candles.

Now as to what a Denver Broncos candle might smell like is the question. Hope it’s not of an actual Denver Bronco. Still, I’m sure the jars are hand painted, by the way.

77. Make your cat happy with these NFL themed catnip toys.

Well, at least they’re things a cat might actually like. These consist of the New England Patriots and the Green Bay Packers.

78. Of course, any woman is bound to enjoy these Baltimore Ravens earrings.

Yes, I’m sure plenty of women would like these. However, if my uncle from Maryland got these for my aunt, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t go well. Well, unless he got the Ravens logos replaced by the Steelers logos instead.

79. Celebrate the Christmas season with a New York Giants snowman door decoration.

Of course, you can tell that it’s a New York Giants snowman from its Santa cap. Also has a red scarf.

80. Grace your home with this Pittsburgh Steelers flower pot arrangement.

The flowers and foliage are fake. But I’m sure people would buy this anyway. Because I know that Steeler fans kind of have a reputation for being crazy.

The Strange Table World of Salt and Pepper Shakers

Posted by historymaniacmegan on August 9, 2015

For some, salt and pepper shakers are just vessels for two basic condiments on the dinner table. For others, they’re collectibles. As a volunteer at West Overton, I recorded a lot of these in a Microsoft Excel worksheet along with their other items. Initially people only extracted salt and pepper from bowls or containers until shakers came out in the 1920s. But they’ve really became popular during the Depression. Nevertheless, salt and pepper shakers have come in a lot of matching sets in all shapes and sizes. They even have two salt and pepper shaker museums. In this post, I’ll try to give you a glimpse of all the salt and pepper shakers out there. You have ones pertaining to pop culture. You have ones that might be in poor taste and wouldn’t want to put on the kids’ table. And you have ones that need to be seen to be believed. But you see salt and pepper shakers as souvenirs, gifts, decorations, and what not. So without further adieu, may I present to you to the crazy table world of salt and pepper shakers. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

Before you say grace, perhaps you can hold your condiments in shakers praying for the Lord.

Also, they come in 3 colors so you can praise Lord through your condiment holders however you like. Nevertheless, I think I’ll take a pass on these. I mean no disembodied praying hands are going on my table.

2. For all you Star Wars fans out there, grace your table with a Stormtrooper and Darth Vader shakers.

Of course, remember that your pepper will turn to the dark side. Also, when you use the salt, it won’t go on your food.

3. Remember the salt and pepper packs you get at restaurants. Now someone has made a larger home version of these.

Unlike the ones you get in a restaurant, they’re not disposable and are made from plastic. Still, pretty clever if you think about it.

4. These bottle salt and pepper shakers are fashioned into an ice bucket cruet like you see champagne.

Of course, the ice bucket is fake and won’t melt. However, I’m not sure if I’d want an arrangement like this on my table. I mean they look tacky.

5. It’s said that these grenade salt and pepper shakers really give you a taste explosion.

Now I don’t know what to think of this. In fact, I’d be afraid to pull the pins on these for fear they may explode. I really don’t want to be salt or pepper bombed.

6. For some people salt and pepper is as different as a hula dancer fork and spoon.

Of course, they might’ve went with knife, but too many people saw it as a weapon. Still, why they’re wearing grass skirts and waving their arms funny, I have no idea.

7. On this grill cruet, you can pour your salt and pepper from a hotdog and hamburger.

Now I know we put salt and pepper on hotdogs and hamburgers. But for some reason this is ridiculous and tacky. Not sure how it would work out at a barbecue.

8. Of course, you can’t make a great table for your guests without a salt and pepper shaker of Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead.

Unlike the toys, you can’t take off their parts. Not to mention, they aren’t made from plastic. Nevertheless, anyone who’s a fan of Toy Story will love them.

9. Of course, you’d never know that these aren’t cigarettes at first glance.

Of course, I wouldn’t recommend using these salt and pepper shakers for a cocktail party. Besides, I’m not sure about using an ashtray cruet. I mean that’s crazy.

10. Since you might have a matching stove and fridge, why not have your condiments match?

Now together they say, “Dinner is ready…when the smoke alarm goes off!” Then again, I’m not sure about having a salt and pepper shaker of a stove and fridge. Even if they are the same color of the stove and fridge.

11. Of course, these shells will keep your salt and pepper safe from harm.

Now they’re said to be grenades. However, I know what a grenade looks like. And these resemble either bullets or something you stuff inside some artillery piece.

12. For those who adore the adorable polar creatures or March of the Penguins, here is a lovely penguin pair for your table.

Of course, you can’t tell which of these is male or female. Then again, the one with the baby is probably the dad. They’re usually the ones who hatch the chick while the mom goes off to the sea to eat.

13. If you love pugs and tacky sweaters, I’m sure these pug salt and pepper shakers will strike your fancy.

Now I think these might be just the thing for some pug lover who doesn’t have much taste in interior decorating. Also those dog sweaters are atrocious. Still, it has its own unique charm.

14. Now for those working in chemistry, these flask condiment containers will do quite nicely.

Wouldn’t be surprised if you saw such a set on someone’s table on The Big Bang Theory. Do like the cork stoppers on these though.

15. Those who love Pepe le Pew will love this salt and pepper set with his cherie.

Of course, her name is more likely Penelope, not salt. However, Pepe should really get the memo that she’s a cat, not a skunk. But who cares?

16. Now with salt and pepper shakers like these, I’d suspect the owner must be from Florida.

Now I guess the pink flamingo is the salt and the red one’s the pepper. Nevertheless, they’re about as tacky as the lawn ornaments they imitate.

17. Now these kitty shakers have the salt and pepper come out from their rear ends.

Now I wonder why they’d have holes in their butts. Kind of seems a little in bad taste. Still, they seem to be quite cute from what I could see of them.

18. Dinner time isn’t the same without these dancing devil ballerinas.

Yes, they may be as evil as they come. But they seem so very light on their feet. Also, love their pronged forks.

19. As a rule, Her Royal Majesty the Queen always has to stand by her grenadier guard.

Of course, the guards always have to be very still and not smile. Still, looking at these makes me want to do my Monty Python pepperpot voice.

20. Hey, what the hell are those giant flies doing here?

Oh, they’re salt and pepper shakers. Nevertheless, I’m not sure why anyone would want them on their table. I mean they’re quite freaky.

21. In vampire love, it always starts with love at first bite.

I bet he’s trying to suck some blood from her neck. And she seems to enjoy it. However, it’s still a better vampire love story than Twilight. At least these make a more interesting couple.

22. Of course, you can’t serve dinner without having a couple of Chinamen salt and pepper shakers on your table.

I know this is supposed to be of a Chinese couple because of the guy’s hairstyle which was mandatory during the Ching dynasty. Nevertheless, these are depicted in a rather racist caricature. Yeah, wouldn’t be the kind you want to show to your Chinese neighbors.

23. Of course, it’s always easy to tell a good witch from a bad witch.

Now I hate to say this but this set up looks rather stereotypical. I mean good witches don’t always wear white and are blond. Bad witches aren’t always green and wear black.

24. Of course, salt and pepper shakers like these will immerse your table in sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll.

Yes, all they want is peace and love. But I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to see how shitty things were at Woodstock. Well, the music was good but the accommodations were unbearable.

25. Now this salt and pepper shakers are made courtesy of New Orleans.

Okay, I don’t know about you. But these two seem to be rather racist caricatures. Seem like they’re done in a style you’d find akin to lawn jockeys. Yeah, as a white person, I wouldn’t want to be caught dead with these two in my possession.

26. Seems like Ms. Pickle and Ms. Tomato love to make music together.

Seems that Ms. Pickle is on vocals while Ms. Tomato is on lyre. Still, I love the matching outfits on these two.

27. Seems that Mr. Onion and Mr. Artichoke are tennis buddies.

However, I’m sure Mr. Onion cries every time Mr. Artichoke scores. Nevertheless, they both have layers you’re not sure you’d want to peel off.

28. A nun’s habit depends on its color. Judge wisely.

Let’s just say I don’t think either habit is bad. Just different. Then again, I might not say the same about personality.

29. You can’t have a biblical feast without salt and pepper shakers of Adam and Eve.

Sure Adam and Eve may look cute in this. But somehow I feel this is somewhat borderline inappropriate for a kiddie table. Not sure why. Oh, wait, they’re naked. Talk about making original sin looking adorable.

30. Sorry, Rover, only salt and pepper coming from these bones.

Yes, I’m sure Rover wouldn’t want to bury these in the yard. And if he does, then he’s bound to be in deep trouble. Also if he chews on them, too.

31. Seems like someone at this table is busted.

Well, at least the good thing about this cops and robbers salt and pepper shaker is that they’re both of the same race. Let’s just say if the robber had darker skin, you could have some unfortunate implications.

32. These two Smokeys say that only you can prevent forest fires. Courtesy of the National Park Service.

Of course, one Smokey has the bucket while the other has the shovel. Hope the bear has good use for the shovel because it can be a rather deadly weapon.

33. Seems like bread from this toaster comes out two ways: white or burnt.

Still, I wonder what guests would think if you put this cruet on the table. They might wonder if you’re crazy. Well, that is until they see that the bread slices are made from plastic and have holes in them.

34. Oh, my God, there are giant ants at our picnic!

Relax, those are salt and pepper shakers, not live mutants. Still, I’m not sure if I’d want to put them on a picnic table. They kind of look freaky for the most part.

35. Of course, bachelor pad can’t do without a cruet of a big boobed topless woman.

Actually he can. Really. Still, such condiment arrangement is bound to make dinnertime awkward. Except possibly in the Playboy mansion.

36. Of course, many people might think the idea of having a salt and pepper shaker depicting a kewpie on the toilet cute.

Now I wouldn’t want to see either of these on the dinner table. I mean that’s just tacky in my opinion. Seriously, why?

37. Presenting to you all, I give you butt shakers.

Now not only does this look rather inappropriate and out of proportion. It also kind of reminds me of a piece you see on the male anatomy. But I’m keeping myself mum on this.

38. Now this salt and pepper shaker set is fit for Picasso’s dinner table.

Well, at least these two fit together. However, I doubt these were made by Picasso. And they’d probably wouldn’t be on his table. However, they were probably inspired by his art.

39. Of course, if you want to throw a really fancy dinner, then you must have fancy salt and pepper shakers to go with it.

This is the Salieria piece by Benvenuto Cellini. It was made in the 19th century. However, unlike most of the pieces on here, it’s a museum piece, and therefore, not for sale.

40. Would you want your dinner served by Mr. S. Dolphin or Mr. P. Shark.

Of course, dolphins are porpoises. Thus, I think dolphin should be pepper while shark should be salt. Then again, I do love their tuxedo waiter outfits.

41. Nothing graces your dinner table like salt and pepper shakers depicting a baby doll’s head.

Okay, now there’s no way in hell I think anyone should put these on their table. Seriously, they’re going to make your guests think that there’s something wrong with you. Like you’re Hannibal Lecter.

42. Of course, you can always put your salt and pepper in paint tubes.

That is, unless you have paint tubes that might read Saffron and Persian Red. Then there might be some confusion.

43. When it comes to dachshunds, it all has to come out somewhere.

Now I’m sure people might find wiener dogs cute. But I’m not sure whether these salt and pepper shakers are among the best in table decor.

44. Out of the goodness of their hearts, I’m sure Brother Simon and Brother Peter will bless your meals.

Love how these monks seem to look the same and how their holes are used as facial features. Kind of look like they’re singing a chant. But I’m sure they’re on a vow of silence.

45. Press S for salt and P for pepper. It’s easy.

Now I’m sure these are still in the packaging. However, they’re keyboard keys so I’ll allow it. Still, not sure what they’d look outside the box.

46. In this bowling cruet, the ball sits between two pins.

And I’m sure the pins contain the salt and pepper. I’m not sure about the bowling ball though. Might just be for decoration.

47. Of course, you can’t have a monster Halloween party without some eyeballs to hold the condiments.

Now that’s creepy and kind of gross. Actually it’s really gross. But hey, I bet this would be a hit with the Addams family or in Halloween town.

48. Of course, you can’t have a great dinner party without putting your condiments in rings.

Now how they get the salt and pepper in these, I will never now. Must have some sort of device to open them. Not sure how you can funnel the stuff through the holes.

49. Seems like Pa is full of piss while Ma is full of shit.

Well, these shakers have been around for a long time. And yes, they’re tacky. But hey, people seem to love them despite their terrible taste.

50. You can always have fun in the sun with these salt and pepper shaker flip flops.

Now I’m sure they’re not as cheap as real flip flops. Nor are that as destructible either even if made from ceramics. And no, you probably can’t wear them on the beach or in the shower.

51. Excuse me, but can you please pass me the heroin and cocaine?

Let’s just hope that you don’t use these during a dinner party where a cop is present. Because the police officer might get the wrong idea. Still, why make shakers like these? Seriously.

52. When it comes to whether Jesus was white or black, perhaps you might want both renditions on the dinner table.

Actually it would be fairer to say that Jesus was Middle Eastern who’d more or less have in common with the black image than the white one. Of course, he also had short hair as most men in 1st century Palestine.

53. Guess salt has the whiskers and the pepper has the mustache.

Yes, these are LEGO head salt and pepper shakers. I’m sure they shouldn’t be played with. But they do look cool, though.

54. Nothing makes dinner better than putting your salt and pepper in llama heads.

Not sure of what some people might think of these. However, I kind of find them amusing and somewhat creepy. Have no idea what the appeal among llamas is these days though.

55. With salt and pepper shakers like these, I’m utterly stumped.

Okay, they may be logs. But I’m sure they’re not made from wood even though they sure look like it. Then again, maybe they are. I can’t tell.

56. Why choose between Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White when you can have both at your second breakfast table.

Because both can be rather equally badass. I mean Gandalf the Gray says, “You shall not pass!” Also, Gandalf the White has a pretty cool horse and staff. Then again, Gandalf the Gray rocks in his wizard hat.

57. Nothing graces your garden party table like a cruet of a mooning gnome.

Now it’s one thing to have a mooning gnome in your garden. But it’s another thing to have one on your dinner table. Not sure which is worse.

58. Of course, no hunting lodge table would be complete without these gamey condiment containers.

Now I guess salt is moose and pepper is deer. However, what they’re used to flavor depends on where you live in North America.

59. At dinner, you can’t ignore these cute ninja salt and pepper shakers on the table.

Yes, these were adorable. But real ninjas usually didn’t dress this way and were usually spies. Oh, and they tended to improvise when it came to weapons.

60. Now these film canister shakers seem so picture perfect.

However, if you’re not using a digital camera, remember that you not mistake them for your real film canisters. Luckily they’re probably much bigger than the real things.

61. Of course, these skulls are sure to lighten up a dead audience. Or maybe not.

Not sure if these would be good for reciting Hamlet’s “Alas poor Yorick,” but they might do. Still, some people might find skull shakers a bit disturbing or creepy.

62. Of course, why not salt and pepper your meal with pee and poop?

Still, despite their cute faces, they’re kind of disgusting if you think about it. Seriously, some people might find these in very poor taste indeed. Also, might crush a few appetites in the process.

63. With shakers like these, they will be a nice gift for any school teacher or co-worker at the office.

Well, at least you know where you can refill them. But I’m sure you can’t use the pink parts as erasers.

64. Hey, I didn’t know they had unicorns in two different colors.

I’m sure your guests would love these graceful shakers on your table. If not, then they’ll certainly make a fine conversation piece.

65. These battery shakers have indicators that remind you when to refill.

And it seems that they’ve been used quite a bit since they’re both half filled. Of course, it’s apparent that they may soon run out of juice if used often enough.

66. Nothing makes a great addition to the dinner table than having your condiments in disembodied baby arms.

As if baby head salt and pepper shakers weren’t disturbing enough. Granted they were derived from doll parts, but still.

67. Your dinner table is never complete without salt and pepper shakers derived from severed baby legs.

Now that’s disgusting. Seriously, who the hell designs these things. And why would anyone want such demented stuff on their table? People might think you’re a serial killer.

68. Of course, these salt and pepper shakers will bring the ornate sense of wonder from the Middle East to your dinner table.

Then again, these might perpetuate some Arab and Muslim stereotypes though. Yes, people still dress like that there, but not everyone. Also, I’m sure women can show their faces in most Middle East countries even if they can’t show their hair.

69. Ladies and gentlemen, the Beatles.

Nevertheless, they kind of divided the group into shakers between the ones who are dead and the ones who are still alive. Of course, this is the Fab Four in their early years.

70. May this medieval cruet make a fine royal and holy addition to your table.

Actually this set looks as if it was either made by somebody or bought from a Renaissance Faire. Either way, doesn’t look like the condiment set people in the Middle Ages would use. Still, love the crowns though.

71. Nothing makes a table look better than squirrel salt and pepper shakers.

Now I’m sure squirrel shakers might look cute if they consisted of the whole animal. However, these only consist of their heads which is kind of terrifying.

72. Of course, Spock wouldn’t think these kind of shakers would be logical.

Yes, these are Star Trek salt and pepper shakers. Yes, they consist of Kirk and Spock. No, I don’t know which one is which.

73. I’m sure you’re summer luau will be a hit with these bongo drum shakers at your table.

Now I’m sure they’d go well not just at tiki parties but also beatnik jam sessions, too. However, not so sure if anyone would want to see them though.

74. Of course, you can’t have dinner without a place to go on.

Now I’m sure you’ll find both of these in a men’s room. And only one of these in the ladies’ room. Still, they’re probably fairly tacky for a dining room table.

75. Now these would be perfect for any table during road season.

Now I’m familiar with the classic orange traffic cone. However, I’m not sure if traffic cones even come in black. I mean they need to stick out so people can see them. If I were the designer, I’d go with fluorescent yellow.

76. Not sure if you want to roll these dice. You might spill something.

Yes, these are dice salt and pepper shakers. No, they aren’t used for games or gambling. They’re used for food.

77. Now I wonder how these women walk with big TV screens on their heads.

It’s said that they come from the Victorian Era but I highly doubt it. Still, there’s something a bit either sci-fi or dystopian about them. Also, they’re quite freaky, too.

78. “I’m a doctor, not a pepper shaker.”

Yes, these are salt and pepper shakers of Uhura and Dr. McCoy. Yes, they’re from Star Trek. One is the chief medical officer who clashes with Spock. The other is the communications officer who translates stuff and got kissed by Kirk.

79. Of course, you can’t have a super dinner without Superman and Wonder Woman.

Now I’m sure one is from the planet Krypton and the other’s from an island of Amazons. Still, they’re both from the DC universe and everyone wants them to be together. Also, wear stuff normal people wouldn’t be caught dead in.

80. “Pepper, my dear, I don’t give a salt.”

Yes, I’m sure this is an antique set for the movie. If it was made at the time. Still, I’ll put it in since Gone with the Wind is such an iconic film.

Fun with Rugs

Posted by historymaniacmegan on July 26, 2015

Whether as a welcome mat or as carpeting, rugs have been around for quite some time.Now rugs are said to have existed from the 2nd millennium BCE in the Middle East as we know it. But it’s said that they might’ve been making these things since the 7th millennium BCE which means that rugs have been around longer than writing. Nevertheless, almost every culture in the world has some kind of carpeting from the Middle East to India, China, and Siberia. Of course, while most people use rugs and carpeting to cover their floors, some also hang them on their wall either to muffle sound (like music and band rooms) or for decoration. Now I can spend this post talking about all the wonderful kinds of rugs out there but you’d probably get board after I show you enough from the Middle East. So instead, I’ll show you a few of the unusual variety. Sure many of them might look cool but some will look quite tacky. Others may be taken from pop culture references as well. Yet, none of them would be like Aladdin has. So without further adieu, here are some of the unique rugs for your reading pleasure.

1. Some dogs will do anything for some juicy ribs.

Of course, the dog might’ve placed this mat at the insistence of its owners. Nevertheless, I kind of think it’s a joke. Besides, most dogs are simply happy to get the scraps.

2. Now you can have a room all by yourself with this chalk outline guy crime scene rug.

What makes this rug better is that you can take it anywhere to show your friends. Boy, this will make a great conversation place at your next gym or yoga class.

3. This rug will make the perfect tapestry for the hunting lodge come next deer hunting season.

Seems like Bambi and his friends love doing two things in their spare time: playing poker and killing hunters for revenge. Yes, you wouldn’t want to see these bucks in the headlights. Love how they’re smoking and drinking beer.

4. This rug will go great with the hardwood flooring.

Of course, I think it might resemble too much of the hardwood flooring anyway. Still, I don’t know whether it’s quite clever or quite lame. Either way, I’m sure nobody would want it.

5. For the Pinellas County, Florida sheriff’s office, it’s always, “In Dog We Trust.”

This especially goes with tracking missing persons or fugitives. Of course, they also do dog sniffing as well. Nevertheless, it’s quite funny.

6. While most homes have welcome mats, I’m not sure if this qualifies.

This is probably an antithesis of the welcome mat. Of course, this person might have a restraining order against someone at the worst. At best, he or she might just not like people.

7. Of course, while bears may be endangered in your area, you can always go with a demon rug to scare people.

Wonder if the owner of this rug is an exorcist of some sort. Then again, I’m not sure if any exorcist would want this, especially in the movies.

8. Sometimes when it comes to rugs, some people prefer to be brief or tidy white.

Now this is an interesting specimen. Unless it’s for a single guy’s bathroom, I’m not really sure where such a rug may go. Besides, I think this might be given as a joke.

9. When it comes to rugs, occasionally the bigger and fluffier the better.

Then again, children might get lost in this one. Besides, it might cost a lot to clean and maintain. Maybe stick with less shaggy ones.

10. In this living room carpet, a polar bear stands alone on an iceberg.

Unlike the real Arctic, at least the carpet ice will never melt as far as this polar bear is concerned. Then again, I wonder if Al Gore has a carpet like this.

11. A rug like this might also double as furniture.

It’s also shaped like you’d see a golf course. But unlike real golf courses, it’s much more eco-friendly and cheaper to maintain.

12. Man, looking at a rug like this makes me want to go out and skin a Persian bear.

Of course, I wonder how those Persian bears manage to have all those ornate colors and prints on their skin. Then again, why is it that we never see a Persian bear live?

13. Now I have to admit that this rug really ties the room together.

Now this rug is of the Dude’s face from The Big Lebowski. Let’s just say, you’ll see a few of these from this movie. Because part of it pertains to a rug.

14. As far as the Dude may say, this rug abides.

Now this rug contains items you’d associate from The Big Lebowski such as a bowling ball and pins, scissors, guns, toilets, pot leaves, etc. Still, I’m sure any Big Lebowski fan would love it.

15. Of course, you and your friends will never know who made these tracks.

I’m sure this would be a great rug for murder mystery dinners, along with the crime scene one. Still, the footprints might make you wonder.

16. Guess the bloody footprints on this bath mat might leave a lot to the imagination.

Of course, hope nobody calls the police over this. Because you might need to explain yourself that the scene is not what it looks like.

17. Seems like these rugs are the skins of Elmo and the Abominable Snowman.

Of course, one of these rugs is bound to frighten a small child. The other, not so much. Still, I’m not sure you’d want either of them in a home with children.

18. Finally, a rug that can tell you the time of day.

Actually this is an alarm clock rug. Still, I’m not sure if I’d want something that would have to make me step on the snooze button.

19. Now if someone had a rug like this, I might want to question their sanity.

Actually these are Afghan War rugs made in Afghanistan as an artistic depiction. And they were made available in a Kabul bazaar. Now I feel terrible.

20. Seems like Cookie Monster couldn’t resist those Chips Ahoy in his final moments.

Yes, this is a Cookie Monster skin rug. And yes, it comes with cookies. Said to be marketed for families. But I guarantee this might traumatize some children.

21. If you can’t afford a chalk outline crime scene rug, then this body rug will do nicely.

Hmmm….now this may either freak out your guests or make them think you’re awesome. Either way, it’ll make a great conversation piece.

22. Now with a carpet like this, you can play hopscotch in all kinds of weather.

And you don’t have to worry about your local crime rate or weather conditions either. Still, compared to a lot of activities, hop scotch can get quite boring.

23. Now this Band Aid rug is sure to go well with many rooms in your house or medical office.

Then again, this rug is probably more appropriate for a doctor’s office or a hospital waiting area. Of course, it’s quite long and narrow, too.

24. Step right up and have this rug guess your weight.

Now this is interesting a bathroom scale rug. Of course, not sure if I want my bath mat to tell me that I need to lose a few.

25. Sometimes doormats can really elicit a lot of mixed messages on occasions.

Looking at this mat, I’m not sure if I should come in or go way. Perhaps I should knock or ring the doorbell to make sure. Then again, I might want to high tail it.

26. Now your door mat can look just like any ordinary manhole cover.

Of course, I’m sure you can wipe your feet on it. But you’d probably be disappointed that lifting it won’t lead you to a sewer.

27. I’m not sure if I want to walk into the middle if I were you.

Of course, it might just be an illusion. But do you really want to know the hard way? Do you? That’s what I thought.

28. I suppose this person prefers that we ring.

Seems like they’re not fond of visitors or they’re really into Breaking Bad. Either way, you don’t want to mess with Walter White at their doorstep.

29. Of course, all this rug cost were two over easy.

Wonder if it goes with any furniture made to resemble toast or bacon. Sure might like to see that.

30. A rug like this can be flipped according to the season.

Now I guess green is for spring and summer while brown is for fall and winter. And I guess you have to flip it every March and September.

31. Though some may play video games, who can boast having a video game controller rug?

I’m guessing this might be from a 1990s Ninendo 64 but I’m not sure. Guess I didn’t grow up with video games back in the day.

32. Grace your living space with a rug that goes with the topography.

I mean a rug that resembles topography. You know hills, mountains, and all. Also, I should count flora, too like greenery.

33. Wouldn’t you want a shag carpet that could just keep you warm on cold days?

Sorry, but rugs were never meant for comfort. Besides, I had a shag rug once in college and it spread large clumps of lint all over the place. Wouldn’t recommend it for anyone.

34. Now this rug will certainly go well with the woodwork at this establishment.

And I sure reckon that they got this from a pretty large, tall, and old tree. I mean look at the diameter of this thing! Of course, I’m just kidding there. Yet, there have been trees that have lived hundreds of years.

35. Oh, God, looks like someone spilled something on the carpet again.

Oh, wait, it was actually designed this way. As of why I have no idea. Still, wonder how these people will explain the spill to their guests.

36. Nothing gives a room character than a rug of a hedge row maze.

Of course, I’m not sure if I want to run a pen or pencil through this. Then again, this was meant for decoration, not problem solving.

37. Guess who ever has this rug is a big Lionel Ritchie fan.

Let’s just say I’m not a big fan of this. Nor do I care for this song. But l do like how it’s used as a welcome mat. Seriously, is it clever or what?

38. Nothing makes a room better than a rug of a Mesoamerican calendar.

Then again, knowing what the Pre-Columbian peoples did to certain people, I’m not sure if this would be appropriate as a bath mat. Or for any other room.

39. Guess whoever designed this exotic rugs might’ve been under the influence or was just plain incompetent.

Okay, now the design is fine. But I can’t say the same about the shape. Seriously, rugs like these should usually be rectangular. Not whatever this shape is.

40. Now I don’t know where these stairs lead to. But I’m not sure if I want to try.

Then again, it’s just a rug. But in Warner Brothers cartoons, I can guess Roadrunner can pass right through. But Wiley Coyote unfortunately can’t.

41. Mind that you keep an eye on the floor when you get in.

Of course, when I said, “eye on the floor” I didn’t mean in that context. Also, it looks quite disgusting for my taste.

42. Guess if you’re one of those bullrogs, you might want to pass this one.

Yes, this is a Lord of the Rings doormat featuring Gandalf. And I’m sure this will be a hit with Middle Earth fans far and wide.

43. Nothing makes a room look badass than a rug with Hitler’s head on it.

I’ve seen rugs like these on Google Images. However, I used Hitler since he’s probably the most acceptable example on this post. If you don’t know that, read your WWII history books or watch Schindler’s List. Okay, that’s too depressing so you’d better go with The Great Dictator.

44. Commemorate the Iraq War, with this genuine rug of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Then again, this rug of Iraq kind of brings back memories of not so pleasant time in American politics in which us Americans were lied into a war based on nonexistent WMDS. I’m sure that members of the Bush Administration have this to muse about happier times. Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld in particular.

45. Not sure how the tire marks got there on this living room rug. Not sure if I want to find out.

Now this is one of those John Deer rugs now that I think about it. The tracks are supposed to be from tractor tires. Yeah, it’s hard for me to explain.

46. Enjoy a White Russian with your friends on this one-of-a-kind Big Lebowski rug.

Seems like that movie is quite popular among people who love rugs for some reason. I wonder why. Still, I wonder if they have ones for other characters.

47. For you meat lovers out there, this rug of kielbasa will do quite nicely.

They have a few of these pertaining to baloney, ham, and pork. Then again, this might be salami. It’s hard to say.

48. I’m sure an old timey mustache welcome mat will make your guests feel right at home.

I don’t know about you, but when I see this rug, I expect a guy from the 1800s emerge and say, “Good day to you, madam, may I daresay the weather is just barmy.”

49. As I’ve said before, there ain’t a better rug like an Oreo rug for the living room.

Of course, it doesn’t seem to come with a sandwich unlike Oreo cookies. Nor can it be dunked. But I’m sure Nabisco would approve.

50. If you like rocks and geology, this geode rug will do just nicely.

Now this is a real intricate formation this person has here. Then again, when it comes to floor coverings, I’m kind of a stickler for symmetry. It’s what I’m used to so don’t ask me.

51. Nothing can make a Marvel fan’s day than having a Captain America shield rug in their bathroom.

Well, there are plenty of Captain America fans out there, I wonder how many would actually buy this. Well, other than single men, anyway. Still, something to talk about at the comic convention.

52. Add a little Mexican flavor into your living room with this pinata skin rug.

However, though it’s quite common in regular pinatas, this one doesn’t contain any candy. The hunters made sure of that when they emptied it of its insides.

53. Of course, you can’t go wrong with a rug containing roadkill.

Actually you can because I’m sure this won’t go well with visitors who’d think you’re quite demented. Then again, they might find it hilarious. Either way, it’s pretty disgusting.

54. Of course, everyone has their own way of saying “go away” now and then.

As you know, by “blow this joint” it can mean either smoking a joint or getting your ass out of there. In this case, it’s most likely the latter.

55. Now this rug is guaranteed to give you the ultimate Big Lebowski experience (besides watching the movie of course).

Though it initially resembles the rug from the movie. When you take a closer look, you’d recognize the bowling balls and pins as well as the faces of many of the characters. They have other stuff on there, too.

56. Why play Pacman on the screen while you can play it on the floor?

Because playing Pacman on the floor is way too easy. Still, I’m sure any fan of Atari would want this in their living room.

57. For those who love Nintendo, you might like this Super Mario Brothers map rug.

Unfortunately, I’m sure the princess is in another castle. And I’m positive that it’s not on this map either. Sorry, folks.

58. For those Atari fans who didn’t care for Pacman, here’s a rug commemorating Space Invaders.

Man, seems like some rug makers tend to have a lot of Atari nostalgia. Still, looks quite ornate for one commemorating a video game.

59. With this KISS rug you can rock and roll all night as well as party every day.

Now I’m not a fan of KISS but let’s just say I couldn’t pass this one up. Well, because it’s certain to be way tackier than many other rock groups. Besides, I don’t particularly think metal fans would be into rugs either.

60. Any die hard Star Wars fan would know that you can’t possibly do without a rug of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

Now this is just priceless. Of course, I’ve seen Han Solo’s carbonite image on almost everything you can think of. Still, pretty funny and almost looks real.

61. Guess there’s nothing to see here. Guess we came to the wrong house.

Of course, let’s just say this won’t go well with some people. Particularly if the residents resemble Italians with New York accents known by names like “Harold Smith” or something like that. You might wonder whether they might have some kind of past.

62. Beware of Bunnies. Guess it’s time for me to come armed with the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

Seems like Tim the Enchanter was right. Bunnies are monstrous animals with gnashing, pointy teeth. Yes, rabbits are dynamite, indeed.

63. Guess this belongs to a guy who works in computers. Wonder why I get that impression?

Now they tell me to wipe my feet before I come in. Nice, real nice. Still, not sure if I quite buy it.

64. Guess someone needs to teach this cat how to bowl for tuna.

If it’s not dogs taking their owners hostage for ribs, it’s cats doing the same for tuna. Jesus, what is this world coming to already?

65. Have your kid reenact their favorite Star Wars scene with this Death Star rug.

However, remember this is not a moon, it’s a space station. A space station with a weapon powerful to blow up an entire planet like Alderaan.

66. For video nerds, this rug will do quite nicely in your entertainment center.

Not sure what this has to do with VCR tapes or anything. But it’s probably derived from the 1980s or some time when they had VCR tapes.

67. For your ugly Christmas sweater party, celebrate the season with this ugly Christmas rug.

I think they have a few of these as tie in to Christmas Vacation. Of course, I only had to choose one for the post.

68. Of course, you can’t go wrong with a 420 tie dye rug for your stoner friends.

While it might be fine in Washington State, and Colorado, I’m not sure if it’s the case anywhere else. Yet, as one hippie said, “Don’t fear the reefer, man.”

69. Nothing satisfies the house of a true Star Wars fan than a fuzzy rug of a wampa’s skin.

Guess Luke Skywalker finally has a souvenir from Hoth to give to Princess Leia. Oh wait, he cut the creature’s arm off and left it to die. Yet, not sure if he kissed his sister in The Empire Strikes Back or in A New Hope.

70. When you slay a werewolf, remember his hide makes a great rug on your living room floor.

Let’s just hope that this isn’t the skin of Remus Lupin. Then again, I wouldn’t mind if it was Taylor Lautner’s character from Twilight though. Now that’s a werewolf who should be skinned.

71. I’m sure nothing brings you in memory lane like an old cassette tape rug.

Oh, the old cassette tape. I remember growing up with these. Wonder if any of my younger cousins will, which I highly doubt. Hell, I’m sure the youngest two wouldn’t know what a cassette is.

72. Of course, a real Pittsburgh Steeler fan can’t show his or her support for the team without a Terrible Towel welcome mat.

Sorry, Uncle Mike, but I’m afraid you can’t go in. Steeler fans only. This is especially true when the Steelers are playing your beloved Baltimore Ravens. (Okay, I’m just kidding).

73. Seems like somebody really doesn’t want to be bothered at the moment.

Yeah, I’m sure there’s somebody this person wants to avoid. Nevertheless, I find this slogan quite funny if you get my drift.

74. Well, that’s one way of warding off burglars.

Then again, it’s always said that the grass is always greener. Either that or they’re really using a ton of sprinklers and fertilizer on their lawn.

75. On this Enterprise rug, you can go where no man has gone before.

Yes, this is the rug of the Star Trek Enterprise. Not sure from which series. However, insatiable green girl not included. Do I make myself clear, Captain James T. Kirk?

76. Imagine yourself a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away with this Millennium Falcon rug.

Sure you might think Han Solo’s ship is quite awesome. But in the Star Wars universe it’s kind of the equivalent of a rusty Ford El Camino or my friend Jimmy’s van in high school.

77. Now this must’ve been quite a ferocious monster in its day.

Not sure what it is. But I’d sure as hell don’t want to be anywhere near it. Let’s hope it’s dead and its skin adorns some crazy single guy’s living room.

78. Welcome and greetings, doggy style.

As someone who’s been around dogs all her life, I know that sniffing each other’s butts is how dogs greet each other. They also tend to mark their territory and leave messages with their urine. Yes, it’s disgusting.

79. Dog hiding in bushes, act as if nothing is going on. Just act natural and casual.

Of course, all what the dogs are doing in the bushes is probably nothing to be concerned of. Probably digging or peeing, that’s all.

80. “Speak friend and enter.”

Now we just have to find what’s the Elvish word for friend and come in. Still, if it’s the Mines of Moira, I really don’t want anything to do with the place. Bye now.

The Little World of Miniature Gardens

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 22, 2015

While gardening can be quite an art form, there are plenty of people who can’t really have a garden of their own, possibly due to living in the city. There are some people who really don’t like to do all the hard yard work such as digging, planting, and weeding. And there are some who may not be able to grow a garden due to some health issue or simply can’t deal with the changing seasonal weather. Fortunately, there’s a growing trend in the realm of miniature gardening in which you build a garden landscape in the confines of a container or limited space of dirt consisting miniature structures and real plants. Since many tend to be in containers, you can tend to them year round but have a rather slow growth rate. Still, they can last up to 8 years without needing too much care besides watering the plants, of course. So for those who love gardening but hate gardening maintenance, this might be the kind of gardening for you which requires no backbreaking digging, no weeding, no garden pests, no chemical fertilizers or pest controls, and no need to clean out the dead foliage every spring. Now that’s the good news. Also, you can put your miniature garden in just about anything and take it indoors if the weather gets cold. The bad news, well, it can become a very expensive hobby once you add some of the accessories involved. Nevertheless, despite it being a seemingly recent trend, miniature gardening originated with the bonsai dish garden from Japan (which is actually no surprise to me since the bonsai gardens totally make sense. I mean we’ve all know that the bonsai is a Japanese tree). And it was at the Japanese Pavilion at the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair where they debuted in the United States in which these garden creations were featured in an article by The New York Times. Nevertheless, these little gardens immediately became popular in a lot of places this art form has been passed from one generation to the next as well as seen as an activity for families to do together. Still, it’s very much a subculture of its own with places you can buy plants and accessories as well as its own competitions (there’s at least one in the Boston Flower and Garden Show). Oh, and at some colleges, you can even take a class or workshop in it, too. Still, if you’re one of the creative green thumbs desperate for an outlet to express yourself, the this is for you. In this post, you’ll see a treasure trove of the small garden world filled with the green glory enchantment with none of the heavy yard work. So for your reading pleasure here is a treasure trove of specimens depicting the tiny life of miniature garden landscapes.

1. Flowers are in bloom in the tiny garden village, possibly in the spring.

Reminds you of the beautiful stone villages you see in fairy tales. Of course, this is a more large scale venture by some person who’s certainly not poor. Still, I wonder how you can get those very tiny flowers.

2. Here is a flower pot garden with two fawns in a forest clearing during the spring.

Now for those on a budget, this is a more financially manageable scene. Still, let’s hope those fawns have someone to look after them. Because you know what happened to Bambi’s mom.

3. Of course, you don’t always have to put a lot of plants in your garden patio.

Now the top layer consists of much which most people usually don’t put in their patio areas. But this is a rather idyllic scene on the birdbath. And it doesn’t use a lot of accessories in the process.

4. Seems like the fairies have hung their clothes out to dry.

And they seem to wash their clothes with pre-20th century washing technology. Seems like these fairies have never heard of a washer or dryer in any way, shape, or form. Still, if they want their clothes cleaned, shouldn’t they just use magic?

5. Not all miniature gardens need accessories. This one goes for a more naturalistic approach.

Now this is a lovely miniature garden that’s set up like a forest. But though there’s not much undergrowth under the bonsais, I’m sure the rocks give it a more realistic touch.

6. Now this miniature garden is very pretty when it lights up at night.

Now this garden really brings emphasis to the flowers which are simply beautiful. Man, I wonder how these light bulbs can be so small. Really gives you a lovely night impression, does it?

7. Is that bridge over a stream of water or gravel?

It’s not uncommon for garden miniatures to contain waterways made from gravel than actual water. Just because real water doesn’t really conform to aesthetics and would be absorbed by the plants.

8. When it comes to miniature gardens, a broken flower pot will do just as good as any.

While broken flower pots may not be used for regular plant, you can plant a miniature garden in one just fine, especially if you want it to include elevation like a garden path up to a house.

9. In a small garden plot, a reasonable space can be whole miniature garden village.

Now I’m sure this garden is in a warmer place since it probably wouldn’t last a winter where I live. Still, it’s very elaborate and beautiful with rows of grass, bushes, and gravel paths.

10. Now this rock garden has a lovely stonework path.

Now this really gives you an impression with the bench, birdhouse, and small water hole. Whether it’s supposed to be somebody’s yard or a public park, you can never be exactly sure.

11. Now this beautiful miniature garden seems like it’s taken from a mansion or some large fairy tale palace grounds.

Now I just have to love the beautiful waterfall on this, even if the water isn’t real. Still, I wish some of the dirt patches can have some greenery on it. But still, these gardens can get pretty elaborate if I do say so myself.

12. A garden like this can be any fairy’s dream, if one decides to adopt a more suburban lifestyle.

Now sometimes these are also called, “fairy gardens.” Not sure why because a lot of miniature gardens come in a variety of different types. So I used an all encompassing term.

13. While some miniature gardens are seen as hangouts for fairies, this one clearly seems to go to the birds.

Now I’m sure this isn’t for real birds since the birdhouses are so small. For places for birds to call home, see a previous post I have called “This Old Birdhouse.” Do it now.

14. A little patch like this is a miniature version of what every gardener needs.

Now this is a lovely miniature garden with a shed, place for seedlings, and even a scarecrow. Yet, you can tell which side is for flowers and which is for vegetables.

15. If it wasn’t for a container, I would’ve sworn this was a real place.

As I’ve said miniature garden designs can get very elaborate and this is no exception. Still, you would more likely see this as your next door neighbor’s place than a fairy though.

16. A faux water miniature garden like this is a fairy’s paradise.

Now I really like the flowers on this. And while the water may consist of a bunch of blue gravel, at least it looks better than white.

17. While an algae pond may be disgusting in real life, it’s not always the case in a mini garden.

Now in a real garden, such a scene would pretty much look like shit at certain times of the year. But in this scene, it’s quite beautiful and you don’t have to do a ton of maintenance.

18. A rusty wheelbarrow makes the perfect place for a miniature garden of a log cabin settlement.

Of course, this place has a lot of plants as well as some farm animals. Still, as a whole it looks wonderful. See I said that you can use any container for a miniature garden. Even a wheelbarrow.

19. Have your miniature garden near a tree? Put some windows and a door to pass it as a fairy house.

Other than the accessories, I’m sure this fairy garden didn’t cost much. Then again, I’m not sure if the moss was already there. Probably not.

20. Other than the path and the bridge, almost everything seems to be made from sticks here.

Now this was made from 2 flower pots with one on top of the other. Reminds me of some tropical paradise despite that this fairy seems to have his or her own vegetable garden.

21. A rustic wooden wagon makes an excellent planter.

Also, if your miniature garden is in a wagon, it’s easier to transport and you don’t have to worry about potentially dumping it, unlike a wheelbarrow. Still, it’s quite beautiful and an ideal fairy mecca as I see it.

22. A wooden bucket might not be good for much, but you miniature garden will thrive in it.

Seems like this is a little housing block we have here and a lovely one at that. Also seems like there’s a satyr underneath that toadstool.

23. Only in miniature can a castle garden stand in your back yard. Or front.

I don’t know about you, but if Albus Dumbledore had a vacation home in Florida, I think it would look exactly like that. Don’t know why he’d have one or what he’d do there. Still, it’s very pretty nevertheless.

24. In real life you’d swear this scene was of an abandoned place gone to shit. As a miniature garden, it’s a work of art.

For a person, a place like this life size would be one people would want to avoid at all costs (save maybe for a few idiot teenagers in slasher movies, particularly if they’re black guys {since they’re usually killed first}). For a fairy garden, it’s a beautiful nature scene.

25. You can always find beauty near the beach so why not integrate it with your miniature garden?

You can create all kinds of scenes with these mini gardens. Still, I’m not sure if those are real beach plants, but they go with the garden very well. Also love how the stones are used for ocean.

26. For Christmas, you can put your miniature garden in the festive spirit.

Yes, they have Christmas decorations for mini gardens. They have decor for other holidays, too. Well, you can keep these kinds of gardens all year round. There’s no weather to stop you.

27. Now this is a flower garden with its own fountain and fence all covered in ivy.

I’m sure that this comes from some decrepit estate or pleasure garden. But I think it’s quite beautiful to say the least.

28. Seems like the fairies are real soccer fans in these parts.

And they seem to really like to party from what I see on the patio. Also, that’s a very full bonsai tree. Really like the flags, too. And the dog.

29. On this miniature garden, everything seems covered with green.

Now this seems like a fairy hideaway you might see in Florida from my perspective. Yet, most of the “grass” you see is moss. But I think it’s quite lovely.

30. In a miniature garden, you can only get to the shrine when you climb the steps.

From a unbroken flower pot, this mountainside shrine would’ve been almost impossible. Though I know it would be almost impractical, it would’ve been nice to have a waterfall there.

31. You can make a miniature garden in almost anything, even a chair.

Seems that a lot of fairies tend to reside in this beautiful chair garden. The flowers are simply breathtaking in this.

32. Now this village is quite an idyllic miniature world, even if all the foliage seems overgrown.

This little corner has a church, a birdhouse, a wheelbarrow, and a happy little tire swing. Also, has a few little figures, too.

33. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a mini garden of Stonehenge.

Now I couldn’t pass this one up since Stonehenge is a very significant monument, especially in England. And no, I’m sure it wasn’t built by aliens. Sorry, History Channel.

34. As far as accessories go, they can be as small as you want them to be.

Now I really like the landscaping on this one. Seems like they planted everything on a carpet of grass and then added little structures and fairies on it.

35. As for furniture, you can always try wooden chairs of twig.

Now I like this kind of patio furniture. Quite rustic, I daresay. But I think the garden stuff and beehive is adorable.

36. A gardener’s work is never done. However, sometimes the watering can is up at the stick gate.

Lovely to see how this seems to be the beginnings a of a beautiful mini cabbage patch. Love the little wheelbarrow, birdhouse, and bird bath though.

37. When it comes to a mini wild flower garden, then you can let it be as overgrown as you please.

The flowers are simply beautiful on this one and I’m sure the grass isn’t just moss. Still, I really like the multicolored toadstools, even though they’re not real.

38. Inside this stone birdbath lies a miniature garden containing a smaller and more ornate bird bath.

Now this birdbath seems to have a little bird on its ledge while it’s surrounded by ivy. Still, at least the bird bath mini garden looks better than what’s inside an actual bird bath (which is disgusting).

39. Now this miniature garden has a pond, a bench, and a few nice pieces of shrubbery.

Now they may be little but these plants almost resemble real bushes for some reason. I also like the stonework on the patios. Fine landscaping here.

40. Just because we don’t use metal wash tubs for washing clothes, doesn’t mean you can’t build a garden in it.

Now I like the moss roof on that house along with the moss landscaping. Oh, and the hedgehog is quite cute, too. Seems like ideal fairy abode.

41. Among the tall grass and the plants, you can sometimes find a way to kick back and relax near the seashore.

Now this is a lovely seashore scene. Love the stone work on the path, the bike, and the ocean stones. Simply devine, it sure is.

42. Even in the white sand banks and shrines, the fairies will find a home wherever plants grow.

Now the river is a beautiful blue while the rainbow stones lead up to some zen garden like shrine. The bird seems filled, too.

43. When it comes to miniature gardens, you can’t go wrong with a waterfall. Even if there’s no actual water coming from it.

Now this almost looks like a real waterfall coming from the rock. Like the little house nearby, too by the way.

44. In a miniature garden like this, everything is always in its proper place.

Now this garden really seems like a wide field mostly consisting of vegetables. But there’s also a shed and greenhouse along with a little shed. Man, such an extensive collection of plants here.

45. Whether in a mini garden or in the front yard, there’s no place like home to a gnome.

Love how there are plants growing from out of the areas of the broken flower pot. Also, I think this gnome has very good taste in architecture.

46. A lovely pavilion will give any fairy some much needed shade.

Love the pig flying which I think is kind of funny. But I especially love the metal pavilion even if it doesn’t provide much shade.

47. In a miniature garden, the plants can just go about anywhere.

The little potted plants are so cute in this little pot. Love the bird hanging from the arch way, too. Seems that this one has plants all over the place.

48. In fairy gardens, you can’t go wrong with too many flowers.

I really love the flowers in this, especially since a lot of them are purple. Nice t o have some substitute for trees, too.

49. Even fairies tend to enjoy the game of baseball in their neck of the woods.

I don’t know about you, but a field in this shape wouldn’t be used for baseball games. But fairies have wings so it’s all good.

50. In this tree stump, you will find a beautiful miniature garden with everything fairies would want.

Strange how stumps tend to be taken out of their respective places whenever a tree gets cut down. Little did they know that you can make a little mini garden like this. I mean look at all the pretty flowers.

51. In mini gardens, there’s nothing that brings in the country spirit such as being down on the farm.

Now I’m sure it may not grow actual crops because farming is a bit more complicated. But it’s nevertheless adorable and less laden with pesticides.

52. Not all miniature gardens have to be forest oriented. This one creates a desert paradise in a flower pot.

Of course, this uses a lot of desert plants so whether this is a desert garden is any guess. But I’m not sure if I’d lay a finger on it because the plants mostly consist of cacti.

53. In a flower and garden shop, a large fairy garden is a great marketing strategy.

Of course, this mini garden should make it clear to everyone that it can become an expensive hobby. Still, love the flowers and stream in this.

54. If it weren’t for the pot, you would’ve thought this was an actual rocky landscape with a small pond.

Now I’m sure this set up didn’t really costs much, especially with the rocks which you can find anywhere. But it does seem like a piece of nature, does it?

55. A church in a garden like this has its own garden of Eden.

I’m sure any Christian fairies will certainly worship in that church. Love the flowers on this and how they tower the church and steeple. Kind of reminds you of Hawaii.

56. A desert gnome knows only peace and solace in his trailer home.

And it even has one of those tacky flamingo lawn ornaments. Then again, the gnome may just be an ornament, too. But I do love the desert scenery.

57. In mini gardens a plant would look just as fine in dirt as surrounded by sand.

Like how the sand seems so evenly raked like I’d never see at a golf course. Like the little plants in it, too.

58. Of course, what mini garden would be without its own water mill?

Funny how grass can grow so high even thought this tray is about as thick as some flat table displays. Guess mini garden plants tend to have very tiny roots.

59. Of course, if you live near a river, you’ll always have to have a canoe.

Now with the forest background, it almost looks like a house near a river. Well, if you take out the wooden box. Still, adorable.

60. When your kids grow up, they may not need their rusty red wagon. So use it to plant your miniature garden paradise.

Now this garden has so much going for it. I mean it has birdhouses, a wooden house, and glass toadstools. Oh, and the flowers are so beautiful, too.

61. What makes a better seaside garden than one of a desert coast?

Didn’t think you’d see cacti on the beach would you? By the way, I’m sure the seashells were real. Like the sand castle though.

62. With the right furniture and creativity, you can create a little miniature patio for your mini garden.

I’m sure this is set in somebody’s yard since the porch seems to have some colored stones encased in concrete. But I love how everything seems to go together here.

63. Though many miniature gardens tend to have tiny flowers, this doesn’t always have to be the case.

Now this garden contains a lot of flowers you’d see in any regular garden during the summer. Yet, it’s considered as such because of the two little lawn chairs and that it’s in a pot.

64. Now this desert seems as if it’s in an almost natural state in its own flower pot.

Seems to have a lot of cacti for a desert. But I’m sure you’ll never get a desert sunset with this one. Still, it’s quite beautiful to say the least.

65. Nothing would make the rich fairy an envy of everyone than a little mini garden mansion.

Kind of reminds me of a fairy garden murder mystery mansion. Really wouldn’t want to get inside. But I really like the landscaping on this.

66. Miniature gardens usually tend to be easy to carry, especially if they were created from a suitcase.

You might not want to take this to an airport. I mean the TSA wouldn’t take many precautions upon inspection. But it’s a cute little world you can carry around.

67. While many miniature gardens usually contain flowers, this one specializes in vegetables.

Okay, they may not be real veggies. Nor are they edible by any means. But still, it’s a pretty cute scene nevertheless. Hope it has a container though.

68. Under the ivy covered canopy, you will find a fairy park where they frolic.

Now I think this is put on some garden bench since I can see legs below the planter. Nevertheless, it’s quite pretty and I like the ivy on this.

69. Nothing makes a rustic patio look idyllic than wooden furniture, especially in fairy gardens.

Now the furniture really goes well with the path and the bonsai. Of course, the vines are painted by the way. But I’m not sure if it makes any difference.

70. Any Tolkein fan would find a miniature garden of Bag End would be almost a dream come true.

I’m sure that a die hard Middle Earth fan had too much time on their hands. Still, I’m sure this miniature Bag End is tended by no other than a miniature Samwise Gamgee.

71. For Christmas, celebrate the birth of Christ with this miniature garden nativity scene.

Of course, the figures were probably taken from an actual nativity set. But these gardens can stay indoors and last all year long. So you might as well put a nativity scene in there.

72. This wooden church seems to have its gates near the rocky shore.

Now this seems like a lovely atmosphere to have a church, especially a wooden one. Love the little gate near the shore. Probably based on some rocky New England coastline.

73. Nothing makes the ideal fairy town more than having it at the base of a tree.

Now I’m sure the fairies will get plenty of shade under that tree. Yet, even this sturdy tree couldn’t completely shield them from the elements of nature.

74. A little house always tends to be shadowed by large trees, even in mini gardens like this one.

Now this is from a broken flower pot in which the plants inside surrounding the house represent towering conifer trees. Hope the rock doesn’t do anything though.

75. If you want a garden easy to carry, then perhaps you should plant it in a basket.

Love the little swing on the basket handle as well as the flowers. Still, you have to like the wooden twig and branch chair, too.

76. You can create a whole world of nature from a very large teacup.

This bonsai really goes well with the small lupin plants if I stand corrected. Still, I think the little bench and coffee table is simply charming.

77. Even in a small gravel garden, it’s best to put a birdbath as a centerpiece.

Let’s hope the little birdies wanting to wash up don’t shit in this birdbath. Like the bench and sundial though.

78. Sometimes you can put patio furniture in a miniature garden you can only wish to put in your regular patch.

Now this patio furniture seems too finely painted for anyone to want to have in your outdoor patio. I mean there’s a chance that rain might wash out the lovely craftsmanship. Still, this is a quite beautiful garden in these flower pots.

79. A few statues in a garden can really enhance it beauty in many ways.

Now this one gives the impression that ruins are in the midst. Love how the bonsai really brings in the vibrancy of this. Not to mention, some of the plants, too.

80. In a garden shop like this, you might as well have a large mini garden village.

Now I’m sure this isn’t the whole mini garden as some of it is cut from the photo. But you can see how elaborate these mini gardens can really get.

The Strange World of Ceramic Mugs

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 15, 2015

Ever since humans learned to make something to carry their consumable liquid and put their food on, it wasn’t long until they started wanting to have their personal drinking vessels to carry some personal touch. Thus, ceramics have become an art form as well as a practical house ware ever since. In fact, every civilization on earth basically has their own set of decorated ceramics and there are many archaeologists who can tell you where certain ceramics are from and what they were used for based on decoration alone. Of course, mugs are such a common feature in daily life that you can buy one from basically anywhere but the grocery store. Seriously, you can buy one as a souvenir if you go on vacation or if you want to buy someone a present. Nevertheless, in our 21st century, most people use mugs for their drinks as well as have them customized to their own designs. Some have pictures, some have words, and some don’t have anything at all. People have even made their own mugs in pottery classes. Now I can go on and on about all the great mugs out there, but you’d think it would be boring. So instead, I’ll show some of the tackiest mugs out there you wouldn’t want to miss. So for your reading pleasure, here are some specimens from the strange world of ceramic mugs. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work. Don’t ask. Oh, and not all will actually be made from ceramic by the way, it’s just the default material.

1. If you love peacocks, then this set of mugs would be simply to die for.

Now if I saw these at a person’s house, then I’d question their taste in interior housewares. Seriously, I expect these to be found at a house with at least one pink flamingo on their lawn minimum.

2. Now this mug tells you exactly what it’s for.

Now if there’s a chemist or chemistry major in your life, this would be the perfect gift for them. And yes, that molecule is caffeine, the pick me up for the masses.

3. Now I’m udderly confused? Is this used for milk or tea?

Now this is a Cow Breast Shaped Milk Glass Mug. You heard me. I’m sure no milk is coming from those udders or in them. Perfect for the dairy farmer’s morning coffee.

4. If you’re looking for something to give a person who loves the 1980s and videogames, this is the perfect mug for them.

I’m sure this Atari game mug will bring anyone into feeling 1980s nostalgia. That, or help someone stay awake long enough to play videogames.

5. For the golfer in your life, this one will help them improve their game before venturing to the country club.

Of course, I wonder if it’s more suited for those who play miniature golf. Just a hunch. I mean the golf club and ball are really, really tiny.

6. “All right, stop right there, give me your coffee or your life.”

Now this is the gun every gangster reaches for first thing in the morning, every morning. Tony Soprano must have one of these or I’ll be damned. Seriously, it’s a perfect coffee mug for him.

7. Once you’re done your coffee, you can use this mug to recycle it and protect the planet.

Yes, this may appear eco-friendly. But I wonder if it goes with similar mugs that resemble a garbage and biohazard bins respectively. Also, is this one for paper or plastic?

8. With this Black Knight mug, if anyone but you shall drink from it, then they shall die.

Of course, unlike the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, this one doesn’t come with limbs to hack off. Which kind of takes all the fun out of it.

9. For the chemist or anyone majoring in chemistry, this mug is great whether in the home or in the lab.

Of course, if you want to use it for both lab and home, make sure you wash and dry it before either use. You don’t want anything unfortunate happen like an accident.

10. Practice your basketball skills with this mug of a ball and court.

Of course, it’s best for hot chocolate so you can put the mini marshmallows through the basket. Also great to drink from during March Madness.

11. This mug seems to stand on its own two feet.

Of course, I don’t know what to think about the human feet though. Seems kind of creepy in a way. Like something from a creepy surrealist film.

12. A guy always needs a cup of joe before he goes behind a bulldozer.

Now I’m sure this kind would make any male construction worker a laughingstock at work. Then again, maybe not. Still, pretty clever.

13. I’m sure the dial tells how hot your coffee is inside.

Then again, it might be for show. Still, it’s said to be a hotrod type coffee mug. But it looks Steampunk to me for some reason. Even in bright red.

14. With a mug like this, those knuckles will come in handy while you’re in a dark alley and know how to use them.

Of course, getting in a fight with this mug might ruin its use as a drinking vessel. Still, not sure how these would fare in hand to hand combat. Banned in Canada.

15. Get up in the morning with a cup from R2 D2.

R2 D2: most likely the most underrated character in the whole Star Wars franchise. Seriously, if it weren’t for this ornery and courageous little droid, the good guys would be sunk. Yeah, basically saves everyone’s ass.

16. Though coffee is seen as a morning beverage, ninjas tend to drink it under cover of darkness.

Of course, this ninja is cute. But still, real Japanese ninjas didn’t dress in black. Their penchant for invisibility was psychological. Rather they typically dressed like peasants who no high ranking Japanese samurai would suspect. Oh, and most ninjas were samurai in Japan.

17. For couples, you always want a distinctive mug to distinguish from your significant other.

I try to keep any images of private parts to a minimum. But since these mugs are among the worst things to give any couple, I had to make special mention. Seriously, I’m not sure if anyone would want to be seen at home with these, let alone in public.

18. This battle designed mug was made to handle anything.

Now how is in the hell is this a battle designed mug? It looks like it was made from plastic, which isn’t the strongest material. Oh, you can put your guns on it. Seriously, why does this even exist?

19. When on an assignment, photographers love to get some zoom in action from their morning brew.

Let’s hope a real photographer doesn’t get this camera lens mug mixed up with a real camera lens. It can get awkward.

20. I’m sure when you see a yellow triangle with an exclamation mark, you should know not to mess with the contents.

Unfortunately, someone didn’t listen and pulled the plug. Resulted in a massive spill of hot coffee all over. Luckily no furniture was damaged.

21. For the more modern artistic type, this is one of the sleekest mugs money can buy.

Hmmm….not sure if it’s practical as a drinking vessel. Also, seems a bit too artsy for my taste. I think a conventional mug is perfectly reasonable.

22. If you like to drink your coffee the way you sample soup, this slurp mug is for you.

Know what this can also be used for? Soup, no less. Also, you can even hang it on a hook if you want. Man, I wonder what they cost on Amazon.

23. Of course, some people tend to lose it when they get angry and need caffeine.

Remind me to stay away from the guy who owns this mug. Seriously, flunking anger management really doesn’t say much good about you, especially if your name is Bruce Banner.

24. This mug makes you drink your coffee as if it’s from a porcelain pop can.

Man, I wonder if the ancient Chinese drank from porcelain pop cans. Probably not. Still, doesn’t give off the aluminum after taste doesn’t it.

25. Hmmm….I wonder if that person’s drinking from a turd or is it just me?

Love the slogan on this: “Is it just me or is everything crap?” Well, I think it’s just then. But on the hand, many of the farmers in my neighborhood use cow shit as fertilizer.

26. Now this mug doubles as a boombox if you turn it on the side.

Now this doesn’t actually play music since it’s painted on. But you get the idea. Okay, c’mon, use your imagination.

27. Ever wish you guys can drink beer from your cowboy boot? Well, now you can.

Well, if you’re Cinderella of the Wild West, that is. Then again, she seems to leave one of these when she had to leave the hoe-down. Not sure if Sheriff Charming will follow her home.

28. Alas, Poor Yorick for Hamlet hath fashioned you into a drinking vessel for his morning joe.

Now I’m sure people will freak out if you drink something from this one like red wine. Even if it is made from porcelain.

29. I’m sure this mug will store your milk and your cookies in the same place.

Kind of strange that the mug has a human face with a big mouth. But at least it doesn’t devour them. Still, quite a nifty device if I do say so myself.

30. When it comes to drinking decaf, some people can be so judgmental and it shows.

Well, sure decaf is for wimps but it’s like drinking coffee for the taste and not for the reason why most people drink coffee. Kind of defeats the whole purpose.

31. You’ve heard about coffee with donuts. So how about some coffee in your donut?

Now this would be a great mug to give that neighborhood police officer. Then again, he’d probably appreciate an actual donut much more.

32. Now this is the kind of mug you’d want to give to somebody who loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

Okay, napalm may not be radioactive but I’m sure it’s quite explosive and you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near it. Still, this grenade one is pretty crazy. At least it doesn’t blow up when you pull the pin.

33. For Sesame Street fans, this Cookie Monster mug will store your cookies and your coffee. And I’m sure your kids will love it.

As tacky as it seems, you can’t hate this mug for God’s sake. Seriously, everyone loves Cookie Monster even though he’s not the best role model on Sesame Street since his dietary choices aren’t the greatest. But we love him anyway.

34. Now this mug is able to indicate to your company whether to talk to you or not.

When it’s full, it means they can’t communicate in complete sentences. When it’s half, it means they can’t carry on a conversation. Only when it’s nearly empty, you may talk.

35. Seems like someone prefers their coffee on the Dark Side.

And I’m sure if he doesn’t like it, he’ll probably force choke you until you suffocate to death. Must be a complete hell working for a guy like that. Cue “Imperial March.”

36. Now this is a coffee mug that seems like 65 million years in the making or hanging around in the Jurassic Park souvenir shop.

However, I’m not sure why anyone would want to go to Jurassic Park. Seems like going to the park is an absolute death wish.

37. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the boob mug.

Now this would be a great souvenir mug for some strip club or sex shop. Very bad commemorative gift to buy for anybody.

38. Now this cow mug tends to stand on its udders.

I’m sure there’s no milk in these udders but I’m sure it’s tacky enough to go with those peacock mugs. Then again, it might be even in more poor taste.

39. Now this coffee mug appears to come from out of this world and land in some undisclosed location.

I wonder if they sell these on Roswell. Probably do. Seems like those crazy UFO seekers will go anywhere to see a flying saucer land, especially at a location of a recent UFO sighting. Hate to know what the aliens put in their coffee, if they drink it at all.

40. Since there’s an obsession with women’s butts, I thought this would be an appropriate mug for our times.

Of course, this would be a great coffee mug for Kim Kardashian. Then again, I’m not sure if giving it to anyone else would be a compliment or an insult.

41. Of course, in Louisiana, some coffee mugs have pelican bills.

Of course, you can hold liquids in its bill. Not sure how much. Hope none of it contains oil, after what happened with Deepwater Horizion in the Gulf of Mexico.

42. Now this metal beer mug would make a fine addition to any man cave, and only in a man cave.

Now this is probably a perfect gift for a guy’s pervy friend whose truck has the mudflaps with the naked ladies and a stash of porn. Then again, I’m not sure who’d really think getting a mug like this is a good idea.

43. Like your behind, your mug should also be covered in denim.

Think of it as a souvenir from the Levi’s factory. Not sure whether they are 501s, 527s, 512, or 529s. Yeah, you learn how to identify the types of jeans while working in the men’s department at Macy’s over the holidays.

44. In Scotland, even the mugs are wearing kilts down there.

Now this ceramic red kilt mug also has legs to go along with it. Nevertheless, I can’t help whether they wear anything under there. Then again, I must’ve gotten me mind in the gutter.

45. “That’s one small step for a mug, one giant leap for mug kind.”

Now this is a mug of the lunar module. But to me, it seems to resemble an alien spacecraft more or less. Guess the lunar module doesn’t translate well in mug form.

46. I don’t know about you, but I sure wouldn’t want to drink whatever’s in that mug.

Of course, this radioactive mug contains some of the best coffee grown fresh from the coffee plantations of Three Mile Island. Okay, I know Three Mile Island is in Pennsylvania and doesn’t grow coffee, but it’s not like I know any exotic coffee growing place that’s famous for a nuclear meltdown.

47. Of course, any Star Wars fan couldn’t do without a mug of an Imperial Stormtrooper.

Still, I'm not sure if I'd want to have an Imperial Stormtrooper coffee pot. Sure it will pour but it will always miss. Yeah, Imperial Stormtroppers never really seem to hit their targets for some reason.

Still, I’m not sure if I’d want to have an Imperial Stormtrooper coffee pot. Sure it will pour but it will always miss. Yeah, Imperial Stormtroopers never really seem to hit their targets for some reason.

48. Now this mug set seems to either be of Adam and Eve or from a nudist colony.

Either way, I wouldn’t want to be caught dead drinking from either in front of kids or in public. Seriously, why do these even exist is beyond me. Do not buy.

49. Seems like this mummy got up on the wrong side of the sarcophagus this morning.

Yeah, you really don’t want to anger a mummy in the morning. Best give them a cup of coffee to keep them under wraps so to speak.

50. Only in Myrtle Beach can you get a souvenir mug of a sunbathing man with one leg.

I’m sure this has to do with a design flaw of some type or anything in the artistic depiction. Still, it’s quite weird even if you don’t have anything against amputee sunbathers.

51. “All right, take two cups of espresso and call me in the morning.”

Seems that this person better check the dosage or else he or she might develop an addiction to medicinal coffee addiction. Yes, that bean is quite powerful stuff.

52. “Hello, I am Coffee bot and I am here to serve you.”

Okay, maybe it’s not a real robot which actually works. Still, you’d want to pour coffee into him would you? Kind of disappointing he doesn’t work though.

53. Lift off this morning with this one of a kind coffee mug.

Of course, when it it spills it’s basically, “Houston, we have a problem.” Still, kind of wish it came with a lid because it seems more like half a rocket to me.

54. Sometimes people like to stack their mugs together, especially if they have their own boxes.

Seems like having a bunch of stackable brick mugs might be quite convenient to have. Then again, people might wonder why you’re drinking from a square mug.

55. Finally, now this is the kind of mug which can help you tell your boss what you really feel about him.

Okay, now as much as I think it’s amusing, I’m not sure if you want to show your boss that mug. I mean fewer of us aren’t working in unionized workplace. So George Jetson job security is very common, especially to low wage workers.

56. Of course, for those going to Hawaii this summer, I’m sure you’d want a tiki mug as as souvenir.

Man, tacky tiki stuff never gets old, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you but culture biases aside, tiki sometimes can range from cool to poor taste depending on the setting.

57. Why should you have to guess your coffee’s temperature when your mug can do it instead?

Now with this mug, I’m sure heating up your coffee will be much easier. Of course, you can also use something called, “the hands.”

58. For the genius in your life, a Rubix Cube mug will help them solve their problems.

Of course, in order for the Rubix Cube to be a workable mug, it has to be solved first. Still, not sure if it takes the fun or frustration out of it.

59. Of course, just because you shouldn’t have a dirty mouth, does not mean your mug shouldn’t either.

Okay, now these seem like they’re straight out from Nasty Teeth.com. Unless the other person is in on the joke, these don’t make very good gifts.

60. Now if a guy has a mug like this, you don’t want to see him when he’s angry.

This is especially the case when the person in question is none other than Dr. Bruce Banner. So yeah, you might want to get Dr. Banner his coffee before he, you know.

61. Of course, when it comes to modern mug design, you should go with vibrant colors.

Now I like these. But I’m sure anyone who drinks from these is a hipster. But what the hell? Seems like a rather futuristic design if you get my drift.

62. Some people tend to wake up feeling like a horse’s ass.

Now I’m not sure what to make of this. I guess this is more of a gag gift for some people. Is there a head on the other side?

63. For your under the sea mug collection, this pink octopus mug will do nicely.

Now I’m sure any maritime fan would want this in their collection. Wonder if it will freak out anyone or stand out like a sore thumb among some of the better looking maritime mugs. Kind of like the pink flamingo of maritime mugs.

64. Of course, it’s some companies’ custom to sell mugs with their logo on them this is from a power company.

I’m sure British Petroleum’s company mug not only looks like an oil drum, but it also contains some salty black liquid inside of it. And I’m sure it’s not coffee.

65. Some people sleep till noon while others are found wide awake at the crack of dawn.

Okay, now this was probably made from some frat boy in pottery class. Still, I’m sure this is certainly not on the dark side of the moon.

66. Of course, morning is the time of day when you can check your e-mail.

So I guess this is expensive as hell or doesn’t really work. Talk about going online while you drink your coffee in the morning. Seems kind of ridiculous to me.

67. In some pottery classes, there’s a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s not. Still, these are downright sleazy.

I’m sure these would make perfect gifts for any sleazy guy with a penchant for pottery. Still, I think nudity shouldn’t be in ceramics for obvious reasons. Seriously, you want to have mugs with content that’s at least PG-13.

68. When it comes to creating mugs, you can pretty much make one from just about everything.

This seems like it was made of an aluminum can and some wooden handle. Looks like something a hobo might use. Then again, it appears too shiny for some reason.

69. When it comes to morning routine, it’s said that coffee is known to get people wired up for the day.

Of course, I’m sure the wire is fake but it seems to make a great handle. Still, I think this is a pretty inventive mug if you think about it.

70. Of course, when it comes to mugs, a real maritime fan has to have one of a fish in the darkest depths of the ocean.

On second thought, this deep sea fish is one of the ugliest sea creatures ever. I mean it’s almost the stuff of nightmares. Why anyone would want to have mug like this is anyone’s guess.

71. “All right, men, let’s set our phasers to decaf just to be safe.”

Of course, all Starfleet officers must have their coffee, too. But I’m sure anyone wearing a red shirt will be more susceptible for spill burns. Because redshirts tend to be expendable human cannon fodder.

72. This mug seems to blur the lines between the notion of coffee mug and coffee machine.

Of course, if you use it as a coffee machine, what do we use under it? I think that’s a viable question. Then again, maybe the machinery look is more for decoration.

73. A fashionable lady always needs to drink her morning joe in style.

I’m not sure if a stiletto heel mug is very practical as a drinking vessel. Nevertheless, sort of give a whole new meaning to the word, “hip flask.”

74. With this rattler mug, nobody will ever dare drink your coffee ever again.

Now this is perhaps one of the most intimidating mugs I’ve ever seen. Seems like this rattlesnake really isn’t too happy and guards his morning joe with a vigilance.

75. Be at the height of fashion with this trendy zebra print handbag mug.

Of course, while some may think this fancy mug is the most fashionable thing you’d see in the Prada break room, I think it’s as tacky as any overpriced handbag they sell on Saks Fifth Avenue. Sorry, but I’m no fan of the high fashion industry or the concept of wearing expensive name brand clothes made from the hands of children in some Third World country.

76. Sometimes a handy coffee mug can also make a useful paperweight.

Now I’m sure this would definitely appear in the Jurassic Park gift shop. Then again, I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be a dinosaur’s foot anyway. Could come from any reptile as I see it.

77. Want to know where a driver’s coffee goes? Perhaps this mug will tell you.

Now according to this, very little of the coffee in the mug actually gets sipped. However most of it is either thrown out in the parking lot or spilled over on someone’s brand new jacket.

78. Of course, a coffee mug from the Hundred Acre Wood can be quite deceptive in its use.

I’m sure Winnie the Pooh has fans of all ages from kids to adults. But having a coffee mug as a one of Pooh’s honey pots, well, I’m not so sure.

79. Is this an upside down mug right side up or just a regular mug upside down?

The glaze tells me that it might be a mug that’s supposed to look upside down. But I’m not sure if it goes too deep. Yet, I’m sure this might cause some confusion.

80. Of course, have your coffee in a mug that’s designed like a water cooler at some high school or college football game.

Of course, it’s well known what’s in this mug so you don’t have to pour it out on someone after a team victory. Then again, I have no idea why football players dump these things on themselves after a game. Must be tradition. Still, I think the design is quite clever for some reason.

This Old Birdhouse

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 7, 2015

Seeing birds in one’s back yard can be seen as a pleasant sight for many during the spring and summer when all the birds seem to be fluttering around after spending the winter down south (though maybe the South likes the winter birds as well). Of course, there are plenty of ways to draw their attention such as bird baths as well as bird feeders. One particular feeder I have in mind is a bird house, which not only feeds them but also can house a nest now and then in some cases (for instance, they have bluebird houses). But bird houses are mostly bird feeders. Still, when it comes to feeding birds, people have been making birdhouses for a very long time, perhaps centuries. Now there are plenty of bird houses out there since many people tend to uses them as a craft project as well since it tends to involve some easy DIY know-how. I mean most of the time it involves putting a hole in a piece of wood, as well as nailing a bunch of wood pieces into a small house. And it’s inevitable that many tend to have certain finishing touches on them. So without further adieu, I welcome you to enjoy the wonders in the world of bird houses.

1. We begin with a look at the historical Franciscan bird missions of the American Southwest.

Though the Franciscan birds tend to be seen as benevolent to the indigenous birds at times, it’s said that many of these bird missionaries tended to destroy a lot of indigenous cultures in the process. Then again, I heard that bird small pox tend to kill more indigenous birds than anything else.

2. In the winter, instead of flying south for warmer climates, your local birds could spend the winter in this swanky ski lodge built just for them.

Nevertheless, I hear they charge their avian lodgers fortune in birdseed. Maybe flying south for a winter in Boca Raton is a cheaper bet, but I’m sure the rates aren’t much better there either.

3. If your local birds want a more rustic look, this house is for them.

Now I think this might be a bird farmhouse made from scrap wood. But I’m sure it’ll have plenty of room with stores of birdseed in the pantry. Not sure if any hill billy birds live there though.

4. For their birdseeding needs, your fine feathered friends can just stop at this avian general store.

I’m sure this place has everything your birds need for the winter whether it’s seed, bugs, potential prey, hardware, clothes, and what not. They’ll find it all here.

5. When it comes to avian accommodations, nothing makes birds feel more at home than having a little log cabin in the woods.

Now for the bird wishing to get out from the cold and start a homestead, this little log cabin is the perfect fit, when there are trees around. Still, has a rustic feel to it like you’d see in a fancy set of Lincoln logs. It’s popularly noted that Aviraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin.

6. While putting real flowers on a birdhouse might be impractical, they’d certainly appreciate the floral artwork.

Now this is a lovely little birdhouse I wouldn’t mind having in my yard. It seems so picturesque, especially the floral wreath around the hole.

7. If you’re living in the world of Dr. Seuss, these birdhouses are just the ticket.

And Lord knows how many birds you get to see coming to these houses in Dr. Seuss stories. However, it’s kind of disappointing that these houses won’t get the kind of birds you’d see in Horton Hears a Who.

8. Do any migrating birds need a place to eat during their journey south, then I’m sure they’ll enjoy this avian diner.

Of course, while they specialize in hamburgers and hotdogs, I’m sure they have plenty of other entrees migrating birds would love. Not sure if they have any bird waitresses on roller skates or avian juteboxes though.

9. Of course, there are quite a few birds who belong to some kind of fraternal lodge order.

This one seems to belong to the Moose Lodge but I’m not sure whether the bears are a lodge order or not. Then again, they could be talking about actual bears.

10. If you have any fishing birds in your area, this bait shop would be of service to their needs.

Of course, most fishing birds don’t need a bait and tackle shop to catch fish. They just catch them with their beaks as God intended. Still, it’s pretty clever.

11. For the birds who think the ski lodge is cramped, say hello to this wooden bird castle complex.

Now this seems like a castle because it just appears so big from other birdhouses. But if it was in better proportion it would resemble something like a Victorian house. Still, it was either sitting in the garage for long periods or someone just had too much time on their hands.

12. Every bird should enjoy the comforts of home now and then.

Now this birdhouse has a nice stairwell as well as some of the latest styles of avian furniture, blinds, and a a swimming pool. Yes, this is the best birdhouse life has to offer.

13. If the mission style doesn’t suit your local Christian birds, you can always go with an avian meeting house.

Yes, I'm sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian services.

Yes, I’m sure there will be some avian gospel choir in their singing hymns to Cheepsus. Okay, maybe not that, but it has a ringing bell for avian nondenominational services.

14. May I present to you, the Grand Birdepest Hotel.

Sorry, but I couldn’t resist that pun. But still, I hope it has those interwar luxury interior accommodations and nothing resembling anything from the post WWII era. Still, I’m sure it houses a lot of birds during the seasonal migration periods, particularly rich ones with greedy backstabbing sons, no doubt.

15. For those who prefer a more urbane avian accommodations, perhaps your birds might like this avian hotel.

Now this resembles something that you might see in almost any town or city. Still, I’m sure it would remind many city pigeons of home if they ever see something like this.

16. Like birds but don’t like birdhouses? Then feed your birds with this bird gazebo.

Now this provides a nice resting place for local birds where they can relax and enjoy nature. Can also be used for weddings. Let’s just hope that they don’t smoke cigarettes under them.

17. For migrating barn swallows, nothing makes it seem right at home for them than an actual barn.

Now this one has a little farmer and tractor. But I have to love the rustic woodwork in this as well as the fine craftsmanship. But I’m sure this is way too small for any actual farm animals.

18. There are some birds who have a taste in the more modern architectural house styles.

Sometimes what might cool in one way, might not in another. For instance, as a birdhouse this structure looks cool. But as an actual house, it would look ugly.

19. Of course, even birds must have their own McDonald’s for a quick bite to eat.

Nevertheless, as a fast food restaurant, McDonald’s is known to be a big contributor in avian cardiovascular disease, Type II diabetes, and obesity. Also, I hear their bird employees are only paid minimum wage, too.

20. For the birds still missing being near the beach, this tiki beach tavern is for them.

I do like how this one is built like a tiki bar with all the little bird stools. Still, keep away from avian alcoholics. Of course, some of these birds are there for the worms, not the tequila.

21. There are birdhouses and then there are bird mansions.

Now this is supposed to be a replica of a house in Maryland created by a guy who specializes in these kinds of birdhouses. Still, whether bird or human, I’m sure one like this won’t be very cheap in any case.

22. At times, you can build your very own bird log cabin from a bunch of twigs.

Now this one was built from willow twigs. Not sure what this person used to keep the pieces together. Still, it’s quite a marveling effort in many respects.

23. A birdhouse like this will certainly make any homesick bird feel at home for the holidays.

I’m not sure of what to make with Christmas themed birdhouses. I mean these birdhouses are only appropriate for a certain time of the year. And birdhouses need to look appropriate all year round. Then again, maybe this is just built for decoration.

24. As migratory birds always need rest now and then, a bird town offers a perfect rest stop.

Now there are a bunch of birdhouses like these. These 3 shown are Jail Birds Bail Bonds, Night Owls Bar, and Seedy’s Liquors. Seems kind of like a seedy place to me. But I’m sure some birds must enjoy the place.

25. Of course, birds always need a place to go where nature calls.

I’m sure these outhouses aren’t used for certain bodily functions. Because birds don’t really care where or how they crap. I mean they’d crap when they fly if they want to.

26. Now this birdhouse not only gives the birds a place to eat, but also makes your neighbors think twice about possibly stealing any belongings from you.

Now this is actually pretty clever if you think about it. I mean it’s a birdhouse but looks like a surveillance camera. It’s also made from metal in some parts.

27. This birdhouse has a built in birdbath where the local birds could feed and clean in the same spot.

I’m sure if this was put to use it would be covered in bird shit like most bird baths would. Seriously, birdbaths are disgusting. I’m not sure how some of them expect to get clean while bathing in their own shit most of the time.

28. Any lovebirds wanting to get hitched might want to check out this wedding chapel while they’re at it.

I wonder if any lovebirds are married there by an Elvis impersonator, if it’s in Las Vegas. Still, I’m sure birds have been mating millions of years without one. Just see some of the birds on my back porch.

29. For the birds wanting the punk rocker look, check out the Painted Bird Tattoo Parlor. They even do beak piercings.

Of course, this place doesn't take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, a lot of young birds' mothers won't be happy about this place.

Of course, this place doesn’t take warblers. Sorry guys. Still, I’m sure certain birds don’t understand how their avian employers tend to look down on those with tattoos and piercings.

30. A lot of times, birdhouses can range from the modern to rustic as well as from traditional to whimsical.

I don’t know about you, but this one reminds me of the Burrow from the Harry Potter series for some reason. You know the Weasley family’s house. I swear it looked just like that in the movies.

31. Every bird kingdom always needs its own bird castle fortress if you think about it.

Now this one certainly looks like a castle as I can see. Yet, I’m not sure if it will protect the finches from the possible eagle invasion.

32. While most birdhouses are made of wood, this one is fashioned from metal and blue tile or glass as it looks like.

Not sure whether the birds like it or not. But I like the blue finish to it. Looks like the ocean waves for some reason. Yeah, it’s cool.

33. Of course, every bird should always know to knock first before entering.

Yes, this is another birdhouse outhouse. And it seems that a little man has been occupying it for quite some time. Still, I think it’s quite funny.

34. When it comes to birdhouses, some may opt for a sleek modern design.

Now this looks as if it can be an actual house, though perhaps I wouldn’t be as in awe of it. Still, I like the flowers on it though.

35. Nevertheless, it can be said that birdhouses can come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors.

Now these birdhouses seem to almost blend in with the flowers. But funky colors will certainly draw a bird’s attention, if anything. But I do think they’re all lovely in their own way.

36. I daresay, I was going to put my mail in until I realized that it was not a letterbox.

Now this is a birdhouse from Britain as you can see by how it’s painted red and has the initials ER on it. Still, seems like Britain seems to have a problem with birds living in their mailboxes as it looks like.

37. Have some local birds spend the holidays in this Christmas cabin.

Guess building Christmas themed birdhouses is a thing in the South, when many of the migrating birds make do for the winter. Still, it’s quite ornate and cozy looking. Just needs some snow.

38. Hope the birds could make themselves at home in this cozy cottage.

Now this almost resembles a doll’s house at first glance. That is, until you see it mounted on a tree. Still, love the small chairs.

39. With birdhouses like these, you can start an avian neighborhood.

I like how these have a sleek design as well as come in a variety of colors. I’m sure any bird is going to recognize a birdhouse like that, that’s for sure.

40. For the coastal birds, perhaps they can enjoy the view of the ocean with this lovely beach house.

Of course, this might look a little small but at least it’s in bright colors and has a nice inner tube. But you can’t really take that off if a bird is drowning since it’s only used for decoration.

41. When you can’t get a rustic wooden barn birdhouse, an aluminum one will do nicely.

Now this seems almost like a model toy barn you’d see next to some antique doll’s house. Still, I think I like the wooden rustic barn better. Aluminum makes it seem more industrial looking.

42. For the hippie birds in your area, you can’t do better than a hippie van.

Of course, they’d be certainly tripping balls if you put some bird seed laced with marijuana and brown acid. But they’d probably love it anyway. Man, I’d love to see a stoned bird fly high.

43. For the country brid’s needs, here’s an old country store to their liking.

Love the little merchandise pieces on here. Really go wit the set up. But do the birds really need crap like that? Probably not, besides birdseed and possibly bugs.

44. For the Canadian birds out there, there’s nothing like staying in a large Canadian bird lodge.

I’m sure room and board at this Canadian bird lodge isn’t cheap. But I do like the red roof on this thing. Wonder how many of the birds who stay there are professional hockey players.

45. Don’t like birdhouses? Then how about a bird swing?

Sure it might have a couple of bird towers for birdseed. But I think any bird would find a swing like this quite fun. Only wish they’d make stuff like this for humans.

46. Introducing the Burger King Fly Through.

Hey, when it comes to avian fast food restaurants, McDonald’s isn’t the only one out there. But it’s apparent this one definitely serves burgers to the birds. Of course, its staff are paid low and their food will lead to all kinds of health problems. Also known as “Burger Barf.”

47. Yes it has a faucet, but does it have running water?

I know this is supposed to be a garden birdhouse. But I’m not sure what any bird would want to do with fake pansies and artificial turf. Also, I’m sure the faucet is for decoration.

48. A welcoming sight for birds is a brown house with some bright pink columns as well as pink and baby blue trim.

Now I wonder if I ever saw an actual house like this. Still, love the pink and baby blue on this house. They really stand out. I also like the flowers in the planter and pots.

49. When it comes to birdhouses, some just prefer a cottage in pink.

Now this is basically an avian equivalent to a Barbie dream house. Well, maybe not. But I think it’s pretty nonetheless even in pink.

50. When it comes to decorating birdhouses, you can use just about anything.

Now this one is decked with corks, stones, and other things. Looks like it was assembled from stuff found from a dumpster dive. But I kind of like it. Go figure.

51. Remember birdhouses could always be made from anything around the house.

Seems like this is a combination of an old timey coffee pot now used on camping trips and some sort of large barrel. Now what once served a cup of joe, now serves birdseed.

52. When it comes to birdhouses, you can’t always have a garden. But you can always paint one on there.

Now I really like the little birdhouse and the cute little milk bottles. Really seems to create an idyllic feel to this birdhouse, does it?

53. Seems like this log cabin has gone to the birds.

Yep, it says on the sign. Still, almost likens you to a Lincoln log cabin made from Lincoln logs. Love the rocking chair, by the way.

54. For the more mobile bird, you can’t do worse than a camper.

I’m sure this will probably be either pulled by a toy truck of some type. Still, I’m sure if it would be big enough.

55. For a more retro camper, go with this shiny one here. Sure the birds will love it.

Now this is more for the bird yearning for 1950s nostalgia. Can’t really see why because it looks like something straight out of the space age.

56. Of course, you can always have a birdhouse of an unusual shape like a cyclone.

Now I’m not sure a cyclone is a good shape for a birdhouse. Then again, it probably holds plenty of birdseed to last the winter.

57. In this case, this birdhouse was built along the tree.

Now I’m sure this is the architectural brainchild of a Mr. Frank Lloyd Wren, no doubt. Still, I’m sure snotty rich birds will love it anyway.

58. Yes, even birds feel like they have to confide to a psychic once in awhile.

I think this is Madame Cuckoo’s Psychic place. Of course, her slogan is, “Count your chickens before they hatch.” Still, you can’t put all your eggs in one basket.

59. This birdhouse comes with express free delivery. But don’t put your mail in it.

Yes, this birdhouse looks like a mailbox. And it seems to be made from wood and plastic. Still, I’m sure it’s more of a place for birdseed than bills.

60. Now I do declare this is a mighty fine avian plantation mansion there.

Now this seems like a kind of birdhouse you’d see in the antebellum South. Of course, you know what the rich planter birds used to harvest the birdseed.

61. Now there’s a birdhouse you can use to feed the birds and grow your plants at the same time.

Yes, I know it’s kind of crazy, but I’m sure it must work somewhat. Then again, the plant might be in a smaller pot.

62. For you Bible believing folks out there, perhaps this Noah’s Ark birdhouse would look great in your backyard.

Of course, this one comes with its own animals such as giraffes, elephants, zebras, and a dove on top. Still, quite amazing though.

63. For Halloween, the local birds would find these bridhouses quite spooktacular if you get my drift.

Once again, I’m not sure about holiday themed birdhouses. This is especially the case on Halloween in the fall, when most of the birds would be flying south for the winter. Then again, maybe not so much in the South.

64. The coastal birds would really find themselves at home with this lighthouse birdhouse.

This one is called, “The Nautical Nest.” I’m sure the light in this doesn’t actually light up at night in search of stranded sea birds though.

65. This avian restaurant has everything to the birds’ content as a rest stop.

Let’s hope the Live Entertainment doesn’t include titmice actually showing their tits (which they actually don’t have because they’re birds for God’s sake). Still, it’s called “Wagon Wheel Restaurant.”

66. While you’ve heard of gingerbread houses, I’m sure birds will take to this gingerbread birdhouse during the winter holidays.

I’m sure this isn’t intended for actual use because a gingerbread birdhouse wouldn’t be a long lived one. Seriously, I’m sure birds and other woodland creatures will surely devour it at some point.

67. Hmmm….didn’t know the birds have their own yacht club. Hell, didn’t even know birds had yachts.

I’m sure this place is filled with the spoiled rich birds from Ivy League schools you hear about . Bunch of 1% avian snobs.

68. For the birds traveling the Oregon Trail, this covered wagon would be a great place for their food and belongings.

Of course, any bird that decides to go on the Oregon Trail will sometimes have to deal with a chance of catching dysentery. Of course, that would mean a lot of birds shitting on cars.

69. Of course, while some have birdhouses, others have bird palaces.

This is an ornate bird house in the Maharajah Jungle Trek aviary in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Of course, it’s certainly not for sale as far as I know. Still, very elaborate if you get my drift.

70. While most birdhouses are made from wood, many can be molded from ceramics.

Now these are very much elaborately painted with designs that put some art major’s drawing skills to shame. However, if it weren’t the holes and rods, I would’ve mistook them for very fancy firecrackers.

71. Of course, while birdhouses can be quite elaborate, you can paint them however you like.

Now I really like this house by how it’s so finely painted. Not to mention, it’s purple too. And sparkly.

72. Now this birdhouse cabin provides the perfect avian nature retreat in the wild.

Now this cabin not only has a porch, it also has a gazebo along with it, too. Not to mention, one pair has already built a nest in it as well.

73. Most birdhouses are usually plain, but this one seems to come straight out from Game of Thrones.

Now I love the ornate style of this such as the clam shell roof and the metal on the front. Still, I’m sure any birds on Game of Thrones would love this, even if many of them get killed off fighting for it.

74. Now your birds can work out their wings in this birdhouse avian gym.

Seems Tom’s Gym’s offering $50 off for personal training and guarantees results in 2 weeks. Still, I’m sure most birds tend to be in good shape without needing to visit a gym. Yet, I like the gym equipment in this though.

75. If you like old style houses, then this birdhouse with a waterwheel will certainly make your birds feel in another time.

Now this is said to be a watermill cottage with a porch all around. I’m sure the waterwheel is fake in this. But at least this birdhouse doesn’t include a birdbath.

76. At times some of these birdhouses tend to take a turn for the more abstract or moderne.

I’m sure many birds in the architectural world would see this as a masterpiece. Regular birds on the other hand, might see it as utter crap. Still, I think it’s kind of neat as it kind of reminds me of a person looking in.

77. You can always build a birdhouse with even the most minimum materials at hand.

Now I’m sure this was made from an old electrical outlet shield and an erector set. Seems like some birds have already made a nest there, too.

78. This birdhouse, is bound to make a bird feel at home in its natural habitat.

Now while birds might find a birdhouse like this quite attractive, I’m not sure about people in your neighborhood. They might wonder why this birdhouse seems to be covered in twigs.

79. Why build a birdhouse, if you can have a beautiful bird tower?

I wonder if they design birdhouses like that in Asia. I mean this kind of resembles a kind of avian pagoda to me for some reason. Still, I’m sure the birds will love it.

80. When it comes to birdhouses, you can always make the birds feel at home if you cover one with mosaics of some.

Now I’m sure this is a birdhouse even the biggest artistic bird lover would want. Still, I wonder how that person manage to get some of the brightly colored stone tiles. Probably some hardware store like Lowes or Home Depot.

Frosty the Snowman and All His Friends

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 7, 2014

Sure winter isn’t really upon us yet and I haven’t see much snow since Thanksgiving. Not only that, but while people in the Southern Hemisphere celebrate Christmas in the summer as well as live in places that don’t snow at all in December. Nevertheless, snowmen are among those presented among the Christmas motifs because well, Santa lives in the North Pole and Christmas is a winter holiday in at least places like Europe, North America, Antarctica, the Arctic, and mountain regions. Now it’s not uncommon during the winter for kids to build a snowman though the snow has to be under certain conditions (such as being there for awhile to stick), especially in places where snowfall is a rarer event. A typical snowman consists of 3 snowballs of different sizes with some additional stuff for facial and body features and accessories like branches for arms, a smiley face, a carrot nose, stones and coal for eyes and buttons as well as things like a hat or a scarf. Most of the time they’re abandoned once completed and after a photo op as well as eventually melt. Of course, in this post, you’ll see a lot of different snowmen. Some may be cute, some may be pop culture inspired, and some may be rather demented. So without further adieu, here are some pictures of the wonderful world of snowmen.

1. Aww, a snowman holding his kid on his shoulders.

Of course, I love how they used a pair of kids’ pants, shoes, and mittens for this. Yet, I’m sure that kid is going to be a real pain in the ass when he’s older.

2. Looks like this snowman wants to end it all.

You know if Crusty is so unhappy with his life, why bother hanging himself on a park bench? I mean, he’ll melt away once spring comes so ending his life is just pointless, really.

3. This snowman is quite the acrobat.

My question on this piece is this: How in the hell did a person manage to make a snowman climbing a tree? It’s insane!

4. Man, sure wouldn’t want to fall how he did.

Of course, if this was a person, he’d be dead. Seriously, the fall would’ve killed him or he’d be injured so badly for the ICU.

5. Seems like this snowman has a drinking problem and is now sleeping on the streets.

Wait a minute, aren’t snowmen supposed to be outdoors anyway? Then again, this guy’s sleeping on a park bench so he probably doesn’t have a yard to stand in.

6. For your afternoon fix, DJ Snow will air songs like, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” “Ice, Ice, Baby,” “Let It Snow,” “A Hazy Shade of Winter,” “Walking in the Winter Wonderland,” “Cold As Ice,” “Snowballed,” “Snowblind,” “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” and “A Whiter Shade of Pale.”

Of course, that microphone and ear phones won’t be usable again once winter is over. Still, hope they were in bad shape to begin with.

7. May I introduce you to the NRA Snowman whose guns you can have if you can pry them from his warm dead hands. And, yes, he’s standing his ground.

Musty the Snowman wasn’t really a jollly, happy soul since he’s always been fearful of someone encroaching his property and home invasions. Please don’t put that magical old silk hat on him or he’d begin to shoot around. Hope he wasn’t built near a school.

8. Now this snowman sure is punk.

“You talking to me? Are you talking to me?” Man, this snowman doesn’t seem to happy. Yet, you have to admire how they made his mohawk from tree branches.

9. “Hello, my name’s Olaf and I like warm hugs.”

Of course, you have to have Olaf from Frozen on this post. However, that section where he’s singing about summer is kind of disturbing if you really think of it. I mean he certainly wouldn’t survive that.

10. Now building a snowman is one thing, building a snowman army, well that takes dedication.

Of course, if your neighbor built a snowman army, you wonder how he or she ever had the time. Either that, or questioning their sanity.

11. “Oh, no, it’s the Iceman Cometh. Phyllis, get the hair dryer!”

Note: while The Iceman Cometh is a play by Eugene O’Neill, it’s not about a psychokiller snowman, unfortunately. That’s a joke.

12. Seems like this snowman really likes to do tricks with his head.

Now I know a headless snowman may freak you out but Rocko is a very nice guy once you get to know him. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.

13. This snowman has a habit of leaning next to buildings.

Of course, I hope he doesn’t do any damage to the house once he starts melting. That or if a blizzard comes. Seems like he might fall over. Boy, those kids must’ve had some ambition to build a snowman this tall.

14. Seems like this snowman has enough snow to hit you and then some.

Of course, you don’t want to tell him that he looks like Princess Leia. Because that would be bad. Seriously, you wouldn’t want to do that.

15. Just a friendly snowman riding his bike.

Yet, I have no idea how this guy is wearing a summer camo hat and sunglasses on a cold cloudy day. Then again, he’s a snowman.

16. Seems this snowman has hit rock bottom or has had a few too many.

Remember that friends don’t let friends get their snowmen drunk. Also, giving Dusky a pack of Miller Lite pints wasn’t a good idea.

17. Seems like Snowball here is going on his cycling tour.

Then again, I’m not so sure if Snowball is a snow “man” or whether he or she is going anywhere if you know what I mean. Still, that bike is bound to get rusty.

18. Of course, you can’t do a post on snowmen without including one on Eric Cartman from South Park.

Now this snowman sure captures Cartman in perhaps a way that will make Matt Stone and Trey Parker proud. Still, we have to concede that Cartman is the most annoying character on the show. Oh, why can’t he be killed in every episode instead of Kenny?

19. Snow zombies are rising from their graves for your brains.

Yet, unlike real zombies, at least you can defeat snow zombies with a hair dryer. Seriously, they’re very easy to kill, especially in warmer weather.

20. Looks like that things aren’t all fun and games in Snowmanland.

Man, I didn’t know snowmen bleed when stabbed. I thought they’d just melt away. Still, this display would make the neighbors cringe.

21. Nothing makes a snowman like one in the likeness of a Lego person.

Man, these kids seem to have too much time on their hands. Then again, this might’ve been made by a real artist. Still, possibly the biggest Lego person I’ve ever seen.

22. Jabba the Hutt snowman would like to hire you to bring Han Solo to him dead or alive.

Of course, I always have to have at least one thing on this post relating to Star Wars. Still, I have yet to see a snowman of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

23. Now this snowman would really wish you give him some privacy.

Still, I’m surprised that he’s built on some street, possibly for a contest. Nevertheless, you might want to clear out when he’s done because he might use the newspaper on where the sun don’t shine.

24. This snowman is just going on his relaxing ice fishing trip.

Of course, Andy likes to go ice fishing since he really doesn’t have many fishing options other than that. Still, I’m sure he’s not going to get much fish from a small puddle.

25. Oh, my God, it’s the snowman zombie apocalypse! Run for your lives!

Now I’m sure that it will all be over by spring since these zombie snowmen will have already melted. Still, you might want to get your hair dryer.

26. A can of beer in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other.

Seems like this snowman has a bit of drinking problem. Perhaps he should consider going on a 12 step or AA. Then again, he may not have the time.

27. And you thought a snowman couldn’t do a handstand.

Man, I wonder how this upside down snowman manages to stand up so well. Then again, it has a bigger than average snowman head, which helps so to speak.

28. “Hello, hello, hello, what do we have here?”

Of course, you know these snowmen are from Britain because of the Bobby police hats. Still, you don’t want to go near their nightsticks.

29. Oh, my God! Looks like a snowman just got buried in the snow!

Don’t let this become like the episode of Boardwalk Empire where Gyp Rossetti had a guy buried in the sand up to his head and whacked him with a shovel. Yet, I have a bad feeling it would come to this.

30. “Get out of the snow! There’s a snowshark coming!”

Of course, we all know that sharks don’t swim in the snow nor does anyone else. Still pretty funny and very creative.

31. How would you like to get your mail in this snowman mailbox?

Now I wonder how they manage to make a mail box snowman. I mean don’t mailboxes have stands for most of the year. Still, I wonder what mail carriers think about this.

32. While it’s certainly winter, these snowpeople are lounging around like it’s summer.

Then again, they are snowpeople so it’s not like they’re freezing their asses off. Still, I hope the woman is wearing a swimsuit.

33. Of course, this snowman is in a moment of deep thought and contemplation.

This might not be a snowman of Tim Tebow or it may not. Either way, that pose reminds me of how he used to get in that pose to pray. Nevertheless, that guy was just an annoying self-righteous turd.

34. Nothing makes a great moment as two snowmen sharing a beer on the street.

Seems like these snowman don’t give a shit about anything right now. Still, you have to appreciate how they enjoy each other’s quality time.

35. Now this snowman is just lounging around with a beer while holding a Frisbee.

Well, this guy seems to be really enjoying himself. Still, why do I see a lot of snowmen with beer bottles? I wonder.

36. I give you, the Invasion of the Snowmen.

Man, I wonder if these people realize that the snowman infestation is becoming quite a problem in this town. Then again, there’s always spring.

37. Seems like Frosty is doing a kegstand. And I thought he was a family friendly figure.

I hope this snowman is in a neighborhood where there aren’t a lot of children. I mean few parents would tolerate a kegstand snowman.

38. Seems like some snowmen are really into voodoo magic.

I don’t know about you but I have to admit I do find the stirring of shrunken snowman heads quite funny for some reason. Still, hope no snowman sacrifice was involved.

39. Just my luck, a snowman crime scene.

Seemed like someone didn’t care much for Frosty the snowman so they whacked him over the head with the shovel and decapitated him.

40. These snowmen are on the deck engaged in a poker game for money.

Let’s hope that none of these guys develop a gambling addiction which is very destructive. Still, seems they enjoy beer and potato chips.

41. This snowman really delights in surfing the net.

Let’s hope the keyboard and monitor are the only computer components used in this. Still, pretty clever.

42. Oh, my God, they put a snow kid in a cage!

Now this is either hilarious, demented, or both. Still, I have to feel bad for the little snow kid in the cage and its parent in a state of distress.

43. This R2 D2 snowman will service your every needs.

While R2 D2 only speaks in beeps in the Star Wars Saga, you can always understand this onery little droid that has quite the personality.

While R2 D2 only speaks in beeps in the Star Wars Saga, you can always understand this ornery little droid that has quite the fiery personality.

44. “Stop right there, your money or your life.”

Never underestimate the power of a mugger snowman armed with a hair dryer. For snowmen, these grooming appliances are deadly.

Never underestimate the power of a mugger snowman armed with a hair dryer. For snowmen, these grooming appliances are absolutely deadly.

45. Seems like this snowman is ready for a hike or scaling a building.

If he wants to scale a building, he better be careful. Else, he might end up like the snowman I showed earlier. You know, the one with the backpack.

46. This snowman really has an elaborate hairstyle if you know what I mean.

Of course, if I were him, I’d consider going to a hair salon to get haircut. Oh, wait, I’d have him go to the pruner’s if he has an office.

47. Seems like Olympia Snowe really delights in the attention.

By “Olympia Snowe” I mean this snowman which is said to be the largest in the world. However, I can’t help but think that there’s something “phallic” about it though.

48. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you snow man and snow wife.”

Now I suppose this snow couple would be best suited for a winter wedding. Yet, I bet that bridal veil isn’t cheap if you know what I mean. Still, they’ll be together till melt do they part.

49. Seems like these snow children are having fun frolicking in a winter wonderland.

Someone must’ve had too much time on their hands for this one. Still, it’s pretty clever if you know what I mean.

50. Oh, my God, it’s the Staypuft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.

Now this is just so great. Yet, I think this one looks too much like the Michelin Tire Man and his head is a little too small.

51. When snowmen bowl, heads will roll, literally.

Still, I wonder how these snowmen take aim of when trying to knock down some pins. I mean you have to know where to hit the pins before you roll your head.

52. This snowman is pumping himself up, one set of barbells at a time.

Of course, he wants to start small for a time and then move up a few weights. Still, hope he doesn’t become a lunk.

53. Seems like Spongebob Squarepants likes the winter weather.

Now I’m not sure that it looks anywhere near like Spongebob if you know what I mean. Then again, I didn’t have cable as a child and didn’t watch the show.

54. This snowman is just making a rather important call.

What astounds me most about this display is how the person building this snowman managed to find a phone booth.

55. Now this snowman display seems like a take off of Gulliver’s Travels.

I suppose this snowman feels trapped under the ropes of the smaller ones who tied him up. Still, pretty clever.

56. Now this snowman really has a penchant for playing the accordion.

Of course, the accordion is almost lifelike and the snowman is sure happy. Still, I don’t why it doesn’t have a pair of eyes or a nose.

57. Looks like a snowman has been a victim of a hit and run.

Now to the shock of the snowman, it seems that this car’s owner is really not going to be happy when they find a snowman on their car.

58. This snowman seems to be quite the wall scaler.

This is said to be a snowman rendition of Spiderman. Yet, I don’t know if I can be sure of that. Still, how did they make a snowman like that?

59. “Aaaah! A snowman just fell on my car!”

How would you like to get up in the morning and find something like that on your windshield? I’m sure I wouldn’t.

60. I’m sure this is called, “Orcus on His Porcelain Throne.”

Now I’m sure this guy is thinking deep thoughts as he’s on the pot. Of course, I wonder what he’s going to do when he’s done.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

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