The World According to Stock Photography

antonio-guillem-girl-winning-good-news-stock-photography

While much of my blog has been filled with posts teeming with outrage over what my country has become since President Pussy-Grabber was sworn in to encouraging ICE to separate families at the border and putting children in cages, tent cities, and concentration camps, we should try to maintain our sanity with some fun now and then. No matter how hard it might seem to be. Nonetheless, like Lord Hamsterhair Cheetohead lately, stock photography is everywhere since it consists of photographs that can be licensed for public or commercial use. Whether used in marketing, advertising, or design as long as it’s not illegal or harmful, many graphic designers, web designers, and other professionals frequently take advantage of stock images to fill their design needs. Anyway, most often you’ll find stock photos on professional websites and greeting cards. In fact, it’s a whole industry which started in the 1920s as a way for professional photographers to market outtakes from commercial photo shoots. But many pro photographers today take photos exclusively for stock purposes since a large portfolio can earn a considerable amount of money each month from selling their images through a photography website. Even if the photographer doesn’t add new photos on a regular basis. Still, they have a reputation for being notoriously cheesy and generic with bland happy faces in their diverse workplaces of harmony and in their seemingly perfect but bland families. But there are some stock photos that are too ridiculous to explain or don’t seem to have any applicable purpose whatsoever. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy stock photos. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. “Do you know how to work this thing?”

I’m sure these guys have no idea to function as a news crew. Or they’re just goofing off.

2. Anyone can be a princess.

However, this guy seems to be really pushing the envelope. Still, he rocks the red sash.

3. So what do they call if you cross a dog and a frog?

Yes, I know it’s photoshopped. But you have to wonder about the mad scientist who’d create this freak of nature.

4. It’s been said his brains are made of noodles.

Granted, I love pasta and noodles. But this isn’t the kind candlelight dinner I’d want to participate in.

5. Not all snails travel at a snail’s pace.

This one practically gallops. Oh, wait, why does this one have legs?

6. Apparently, The Shape of Water didn’t get a stellar reception on a small budget.

This is why using CGI is important. Because simply kissing a fish is just ridiculous.

7. There are centaurs and there are these.

Somehow a horse head with a human lower body doesn’t look so good. And I think the centaur would agree with me.

8. Some chick just got puffed.

Guess someone decided to get a large blue fro. The other can’t help but stare.

9. Apparently, Swamp Thing decided to leave the swamp and get a regular job.

Though he’s got a tendency to track in leaves now and then. Here you see him fetching a file.

10. When you’ve been in a car wreck but the boss insists you show up for work on Monday.

Yeah, you can’t really do your office job after you’ve been injured in a number of places. But I guess his workplace doesn’t have paid sick leave.

11. When you’re robbing the place and want to show some color.

From Outbound: “A jaunty cravat makes any robbery a special occasion.” And here he’s stealing a hard drive.

12. Bertha always saw herself as a queen.

She’s even wearing a pink dress and a tiara. But she thinks she looks fabulous.

13. This astronaut has a flight to catch in space.

I see he’s got his luggage with him since he can’t do his laundry at the ISS. Still, why is he wearing a space suit?

14. It’s nice that Jerry has decided to make dinner tonight.

Heard his secret sauce is from an old family recipe. It’s said to include a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

15. This dog breed is known as a Jacques Rousseau Terriere.

He’s easy to distinguish from the Jack Russell with his curly mustache, his taste in French bread and wine, and his penchant for berets, paintings, and arthouse films. And he doesn’t care for pretentious cheap dog food either.

16. Apparently, the mime has just managed to escape from the jaws of death.

And by “jaws” I mean large chomping mouth of teeth you’d find at a dentist’s office. Doesn’t seem thrilling does it?

17. Seems like this chimp is quite the chatterbox.

“And then I told him, ‘Dude, chill down. It’s not worth flinging your poo over.'”

18. Didn’t know you could play frisbee with your pet turtle.

Apparently, they’re really great at playing fetch for some reason. Don’t really see why since they move like, well, turtles.

19. Wonder how many pictures did they take of him?

Even this kid is baffled. And he sat for the other pictures.

20. Her face is a little cracked.

Let’s hope that her delicate eggshell face cracks don’t lead anything to spill over. Because that would really make a mess.

21. Wearing a watermelon helmet changes everything.

This is especially when you’re wearing goggles and stick your tongue out. Wonder if he’s high on life.

22. And now, a stop-motion version of Romeo and Juliet by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it consists of two people wearing animal masks and dressed in hipster clothing. Don’t think this will go well for Wes. Unless he casts Owen Wilson as Friar Lawrence.

23. With romantic dinners, there are just some foods you shouldn’t make out with.

Sharing a kiss during a romantic dinner a la Lady and the Tramp is romantic. Sharing a kiss during a chicken dinner is just plain disgusting.

24. Crazy Larry will clean your car and keep it nice and polished.

But don’t you leave anything in it. Or else he’ll take it and pawn it off for some extra cash to support his meth habit. He’s also had an infamous reputation with the ladies and a record of sexual misconduct.

25. During desert nights, beware of the fierce and dreaded cattysnake.

Known to hang around pumpkin patches for some reason. But while they may be cuddly, their bites are deadly.

26. “Take that, you pathetic puppy!”

I kind of feel bad for the dog here. I mean how is anyone going to take him seriously after getting the crap beat out of him by a guy in a banana costume?

27. When your baking has caused your stove to burst into flames but you don’t have a care in the world.

The smoke detector is on the fritz like crazy. But instead of getting the fire extinguisher or calling the fire department, he’s watching the stove burn with a glass of wine.

28. Want to eat a slice of bread with nails?

Of course, you want to eat that. Because you’d find swallowing all those nails as painful as hell.

29. You’re never too old to have fun.

Since when do they have rocking horses in adult size? And since when do old men enjoy going on horsey rides?

30. When you just have to get that last selfie while your friend is about to be burned for a human sacrifice.

“I know you’ll be burned to death, Kyle. But for now, let’s remember the good times before I get the hell out of here.”

31. “Greg, I don’t think you get the meaning of ‘Casual Friday.'”

I mean he’s showed up with messy hair and no shirt. And I’m not sure if he’s even wearing pants or shoes.

32. “Ahhh, grass!”

Yes, she enjoys lying in the grass. Then again, she could be murdered in the middle of nowhere.

33. “Wanna see my pineapple dance?”

Funny, how that one pineapple is conveniently placed in her crotch region. Not to mention, she’s wearing a winter hat.

34. When you’re in a tender embrace with your significant other but are considering other options.

Indeed, they’re hugging each other while checking their phones. Guess that’s modern dating nowadays.

35. “Help! I’m trapped in a jar with exclamation points!”

And I guess she’s trying to figure her way out of there. Though she might be running out of ideas.

36. “Answer the question or I’ll shoot!”

Not exactly the best way to deal with the big questions. Shoot first never works well.

37. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Business Man!”

Flying in the air faster than a speeding printer and more powerful than a server filled with memoranda. Flying through the sea of finance and willing to save the day from a calamitous paper jam.

38. Presented The Bachelor: Equine Edition.

Watch a bunch of mares compete for the heart of this dashing stallion at this lavish stable. Or as it’s better known: Study Duty.

39. Since she was a little girl, this demonic goblin had a dream to dance.

Here she does her Black Swan dance for the Transylvania Ballet Theater. Graceful isn’t she? Wonder if she’d do well with Gollum.

40. Ever heard of Wendy of Wendy’s? Turns out she has a brother named Wendell.

He’s a certified public accountant at some firm in Cedar Rapids. They don’t talk about him much.

41. “If we should go down, we’ll die together.”

For God’s sake, the two have guns pointed at each other? You can guess they’re going to blow each other’s brains out eventually.

42. A well-dressed mouse should always stand for a portrait.

Though why she has human hands, I have no idea. Though she strikes a regal pose.

43. If you can’t get Bill Nye the Science Guy, here’s Lab Guy Larry.

He’s kind of a poor man’s Bill Nye. Except way more careless and prone to bites from skeletons.

44. This nun seeks prayer and meditation under the sea.

Don’t know how she can be underwater without scuba gear. Not to mention, look serene in that heavy habit.

45. This pampered pooch always has to shop till she drops.

Carrie Pawpaws just has to have those designer dog collars. Not to mention, those fine rawhide bones and squeaky toys.

46. After a career terrorizing Gotham City, the Joker decided to work for Wayne Enterprises as an accountant.

Now whenever he wants to terrorize Gotham, he just embezzles money and commits insider trading. Because white-collar criminals seldom get punished.

47. Open wide for this puffer fish.

Uh, those fish are actually poisonous. So trying to eat one like that is a very easy way to die. But this woman doesn’t get the memo.

48. This boxer has become the reigning champion of his sister’s bedroom.

Or he might just have a girly taste in decorating. You never know. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it either way.

49. Some days you just need to relax with some Post-It Notes.

Notice she has nothing written on them. But she doesn’t give a damn since she’s in her happy place.

50. When you find out that your longtime crush is in a relationship on social media.

Indeed, she feels dead inside. But she can’t really look away. I know she’s getting carried away. Yet, get her time.

51. “Thank God, I saved the crucial paperwork!”

Still, when you’re out in the water, saving the paperwork is the least of your worries. For God’s sake, you’re better off trying to find dry land.

52. “Now, class, when I ring the bell, settle down and I’ll give you candy.”

Not sure if employing Pavlov’s techniques will help. This especially goes if they’re in high school.

53. “Sit down, class, let’s get busy on those physics problems.”

If I had a teacher like that in school, I’d suspect I was in a porno. And that one of my classmates was about to fall victim to statutory rape. Then again, it’s best not to judge by appearances. But come on, would any school let a teacher dress like that?

54. “Sit down, kids, it’s time to learn.”

I guess you won’t have a good time in this guy’s class. Behave or he’ll introduce you to his friend, Mr. Longstick.

55. In the future, people will spend hours marveling and contemplating on corn.

Now I know where that family got their idea for their crazy futuristic corn people Christmas card. Didn’t know it was from a stock photo that made no sense.

56. “All right, don’t move! This is a raid!”

Man, armed robbers and murderers really do start young these days. Also, don’t mind the hand above. My guess is that person is dead.

57. You’ll always have a good time in a string quartet.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like Sex and the City with stringed instruments and old timey costumes. Yeah, I know it’s really crazy.

58. When it rains, she barely touches the chair.

This stock photo was brought to you by the power and imagination that comes with brown acid. Because someone must’ve been tripping balls to come up with this photo idea.

59. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

Maybe he should take off his clothes first. Then again, it would still be kind of silly. Except if he had rock hard abs. But I can’t imagine that.

60. For some reason those trapped in jars will either panic or try to get out.

The businessman is especially panicky. The construction worker’s just scaling the walls.

61. I’m positive she’s going out with a bang.

Because that’s what happens when you light a dynamite stick with a cigarette. It’s sure to be explosive.

62. “Oh, shit, I’ve burned the chicken!”

Yet, she’s not wearing oven mitts. While smoke is coming out of the oven.

63. Walk on the moon? That’s so 1969.

So this astronaut has decided to bike on the moon. Not sure if the tires will retain air in the vacuum of space.

64. This Christmas Santa is ditching his sleigh and reindeer for a magic jet.

Because he needs a more efficient way to deliver all those presents on one night. Unfortunately, Rudolph and the other reindeer may not see it that way.

65. Is there a fire? Call the fire lizard.

Well, maybe if the fire is confined to a small tree. Comes complete with his red hat and fire extinguisher.

66. Don’t have a defibrillator? A pair of irons will do.

Still, he seems very excited to use them on his patient. Kind has crazy eyes and a weird smile. This doesn’t look good.

67. Introducing Captain Waggles of the U.S.S. Doggypaddle.

Here he is with a lifejacket and fingers up. Wait a minute, dogs don’t have fingers.

68. It’s said those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And that people who work in glass offices with glass dividers shouldn’t have sex on the job. Let’s hope neither are married with families.

69. When you’re a TV, it’s always dinner for one.

And I see she’s looking at a TV screen. Kind of twisted if you ask me.

70. Didn’t know that farts can leave a cloud of gas.

And it’s drifting to the flowers. Well, at least we aren’t around when the cheese was cut.

71. “Hello, darkness, my old friend….”

Yet, he lies in his bed on a sheet cake which will get his face covered in icing. But he’s laying awake in existential dread and loneliness.

72. When you’re in the buff and you need to feed your cat.

Notice how the fridge door is conveniently placed over him. Just so he can give his cat some meat.

73. “Okay, let’s put our helmets together.”

Yet, they’re clad in high heels and dresses. Not exactly what you’d wear on a motorcycle.

74. Chipmunks like to get it on at the copier.

Don’t know about you. But I’ve got a feeling those at the office will be seeing some chipmunk porn sometime in the near future.

75. Today’s Special: Head.

And she’s in a styrofoam tray covered in plastic wrap. Just like meat at the grocery store.

76. Seems like her lower body isn’t attached to the rest of her.

Yet, she seems to awe at that after the magician sawed her in half. Unfortunately, he couldn’t put her back together.

77. “Excuse me, you dirty whore, but that’s my boyfriend you’re fucking.”

The guy’s like, “Honey, you’re early. Nancy and I were just having a discussion on….adoptions.”

78. Sometimes you can type what you want from the screen.

And the cat’s just staring dumbfounded at the screen. Like it must’ve accidentally drank a milk dish with acid.

79. “Wanna share a cold one with me on the road?”

This guy’s getting so busted if police pull him over. Because drunk driving is dangerous and has killed people.

80. If you want to keep your kids safe on the internet.

My mistake. If you see your kid in night-vision goggles and a tinfoil hat, you best send your kid to a therapist. Otherwise, he might grow up into a full-blown conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones.

81. This guy really wants to see what’s in this laptop.

On the bright side, at least he can’t steal your online data. Only commit deliberate physical sabotage.

82. Behind a dumpster in an alley, an astronaut seeks a horse genie.

The genie grants the spaceman 3 wishes in exchange for a lifetime supply of hay and sugar cubes. Also it shits gold.

83. Someone’s in deep denial on their baldness.

Since he’s using a comb that he doesn’t need. Because he already shaves his head.

84. “All right, Eileen, let’s settle this with an umbrella fight on the roof.”

However, they’re attempting a showdown during a thunderstorm. Not the smartest thing to do, especially if lightning strikes one of them.

85. Here’s the new face of Wall Street Finance with an office at Suite 666.

Still, ladies, I’d stay away from that guy if I were you. Since his looks could kill while his demonic eyes show he’s up to no good.

86. “Jason, I didn’t know your dick was that huge!”

Please don’t tell me that guys look at each other’s dicks in the men’s room. Because I don’t know what to make of this photo.

87. You’d almost swear he takes after his father.

The resemblance is so uncanny. Maybe because they photoshopped the dad’s face to the son.

88. This takes getting canned to a whole new level.

Having to work in a trash can must really suck. But this guy’s taking it in stride.

89. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Malware.

Apparently, wizards can now use and repair computers. While Harry’s not hunting dark wizards, he’s working part-time as an IT guy at the Ministry of Magic.

90. When you have to return to work from a business summit at a nudist colony.

Yeah, that has to be embarrassing. And he only has a briefcase to cover his genitals. Too bad everyone else will see his butt.

91. “Come on, y’all! Let’s take the tennis court back from the jocks!”

With a tennis racket in one and an AR-15 in the other, Bridget leads the punk tennis revolution. It was a glorious moment for goths, punks, and emos everywhere.

92. At the office some men may deflate and lose their spines.

And here is a 100% accurate depiction of a Republican Congressman in Trump’s America. If you’re represented by one, it’s time to vote them out of office in November.

93. Ever have to be deep in thought against a toilet in the middle of the desert?

From Bored Panda: “This is the state of mind one enters at 3am after having crawled home from that awesome night out, spent the last half hour hugging the bowl, then suddenly you become the universe, the whole universe and everything in it.”

94. “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Where’s Life Alert where you need it? Also, Grandma’s not coming to Christmas this year.

95. “Must sniff donut sugar..”

Seems like someone has a problem with white powder donuts. Someone better give her an intervention.

96. Old people enjoy their retirement with a gun over a rabbit that’s cared for life.

It’s only a matter of time until they get the gun back together and shoot the rabbit dead. So run, bunny, run! Or it’s kill the rabbit and rabbit stew.

97. The Lord taketh, the Lord poseth for selfie.

I can’t even list all the things wrong with this. Also, can I see a selfie of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper?

98. Now you can surf the net while riding the waves.

Still, I don’t think he’ll fare so well when he has to ride the big wave. But at least he’s sent his 3rd quarter expense reports.

99. “Just one more picture before we shut the trunk for our escape.”

Luckily for Marvin, his kidnappers were dumb enough to post a photo of a him in a trunk and brag about abducting him on social media. So police will find him and bring him home in no time.

100. When you’re baking cookies while trying to survive the fallout from the apocalypse.

Though the cookies might be a bit radioactive. But sometimes that’s a risk you must be willing to take in the bunker.

Do We Have Any Decency?

The more we hear about the Trump administration’s immigration policies of taking children from their parents, arresting their parents, and taking the kids into custody, the more they sound too cruel to be real. And the Associated Press has acquired internal Department of Homeland Security data covering the program from May 5-June 9. During this time, 2,342 children were taken from their immigrant parents on the border. That’s an average of 65 kids per day separated from their families and often sent to foster homes or held in detention centers. This might actually be an undercount since these numbers only reflect families separated when parents were sent to criminal custody for prosecution on illegal entry. Families presenting themselves for asylum by coming to a port of entry before being separated weren’t included.

While the family separation policy may be new, it’s nonetheless building on an existing system that attention to family separation has brought more awareness to the underlying problems within the US immigration system that have been going on for some time. For the past several years, a growing number of Central Americans have been coming into the US without papers who often are families seeking asylum. Asylum seekers and families are both accorded particular protections in US and international law, which make it impossible for the government to simply send them back. They also put strict limits on the length of time, and conditions, in which children can be kept in immigration detention. When the Obama administration attempted to respond to the “crisis” of families and unaccompanied children crossing the border in the summer of 2014, it put hundreds of families in immigration detention, a practice which had basically ended several years before. But federal courts stopped the administration from holding families for months without justifying the decision to keep them in detention. So most families were eventually released while their cases were pending. In some cases, they disappeared into the US rather than showing up for their own court dates.

As we speak, the Trump administration works to detain as many immigrants arriving in the United States without papers as possible. Even if they’re seeking asylum, which they have the legal right to do. But because a decades-long court settlement requires the government to release children from immigration detention “without necessary delay” parents taking care of them would have to be released as well. However, by sending parents into Justice Department custody for criminal prosecution, the Trump administration forces itself to separate parents from their children. Because kids can’t be detained with parents in federal jail, they’re treated as “unaccompanied alien minors” as if they crossed the border alone. Thus, as their parents are languishing in federal prison awaiting trial and sentence, the children are sent into custody of the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) in the Department of Health and Human Services. As far as Trump’s cronies are concerned, this is a fitting punishment.

Yet, their logic overlooks the fact that when asylum seekers try to follow the law by presenting themselves at official border crossings to ask for asylum, Border Patrol agents often tell them they can’t come in. This isn’t an accident. For at multiple ports of entry in Texas to California, the Trump administration tells asylum seekers that they don’t have room to process them today which keeps people waiting outside for days on end without any indication as to when they’ll be allowed to seek asylum legally. According to reports, some asylum seekers are being physically blocked from setting foot on US soil, which would give them the legal right to pursue an asylum claim. So what choice would that leave them but to cross the border illegally and present their asylum claim to Border Patrol instead? And even families trying to seek asylum at ports of entry can’t be assured they won’t be separated anyway. While the Trump administration claims that it only separates families entering legally if they’re concerned about the child’s safety or feel there’s insufficient evidence that the adult is their legal guardian. But it’s not clear how they make that determination and there’s no proof they’re abusing that discretion either.

However, family separation is neither sudden nor arbitrary. The Trump administration claims it’s taking extraordinary measures in response to the temporary surge it’s entirely possible that this will become the new normal. From October 2017 to May 2018, it’s reported that at least 2,700 families have been separated at the border thanks to its “zero-tolerance” immigration policy. Though it doesn’t seem like all families apprehended by Border Patrol get separated, the pace might be picking up. The Trump administration has stepped up detention of asylum seekers (and immigrants period). But because there are such strict limits on keeping children in immigration detention, it’s had to release most of the families caught. So their solution has been to prosecute large numbers of immigrants for illegal entry, including in a break from previous administrations, large numbers of asylum seekers. That allows the Trump administration to ship kids off to ORR than keep them in immigration detention.

In theory, unaccompanied immigrant children are sent to ORR within 72 hours of being apprehended. They’re kept in government facilities, or short-term foster care for days or weeks while ORR official try to identify their nearest relative in the US who can take them in while their immigration case is being resolved. But in practice, the system dealing with unaccompanied immigrant children was already overwhelmed, if not outright broken. ORR facilities were already 95% full with 11,000 children held as of June 7. And according to the New York Times, the government, “has reserved an additional 1,218 beds in various places for migrant children, including some at military bases.” In fact, the agency has been overloaded for years since its 2014 backlog precipitated the child migrant, “crisis” when Border Patrol agents had to care for kids for days. An American Civil Liberties Union report released in May documented hundreds of claims of “verbal, physical, and sexual abuse” of unaccompanied children by Border Patrol.

There are also questions about how carefully ORR vets the sponsors to whom it ultimately releases children. A PBS Frontline investigation found cases where the agency released teenagers to labor traffickers. ORR told Congress in April that of 7,000 of children it attempted to contact in fall 2017, 1,475 couldn’t, which led to allegations that the government “lost” children or that they’d been handed over to traffickers. Though for the most part, it’s more probable that the families the ORR wasn’t able to contact deliberately decided to go off the map. Unaccompanied children who came to the US mostly consisted of teenagers with close relatives here to reunite with. According to a 2014-2015 Office of Inspector General report, 60% of unaccompanied kids were sent to their parent and 99% went to close friends or relatives while 1% were put in long-term foster care.

However, this isn’t true of children coming to the US with their parents who don’t have to be old enough to make the journey on their own and are separated from them. For ORR isn’t used to changing diapers. In May, the New York Times wrote that the government put out request proposals for “shelter care providers, including group homes and transitional foster care,” to house children separated from parents. One organization is placing children with Maryland and Michigan foster families and plans to expand to several other states. Some have fostered unaccompanied children but they’re not used to children who’ve just been separated from their parents.

While some families have been reunited, the Trump administration is sending very mixed signals about how families could be reunited and whether it’s even trying to make that happen at all. According to one ACLU lawsuit over family separation and immigration detention, a DOJ official told the judge that, “once a parent is in ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] custody and the child is taken into the Health and Human Services system, the government does not try to reunite them, and instead attempts to place the child with another relative in the United States — if the child has one.” But ICE and DHS claim that once parents finish their criminal sentences for illegal entry or reentry, they can reunite with their children in civil immigration detention while pursuing their asylum case. Nor do they seem to have a system to bring families back together. One flyer in Texas given to parents offered a number to call to locate their children. Yet, the number was wrong and didn’t lead to ORR. In fact, it was an ICE tip line. Even if a parent can call ORR and the agency can identify their child, they may not be able to call the parent back. Since immigrants in detention don’t have phone access (though federal judges urged the government to provide them so they can find their kids). Some parents face deportation without their children while some children are getting sent back without their parents.

In response to the outcry, Donald Trump has responded to criticisms on family separations, by claiming that a “Democratic law” requires him to do it, and that if Congress doesn’t like it, it can change the law. However, that is just Trump’s way to deflect blame and avoid responsibility since that statement is simply not true. Because there’s no law requiring immigrant family separations. The Trump administration had made the decision to charge everyone crossing the border with illegal entry and the one to charge asylum seekers in criminal court rather than waiting to see that they qualify. They’ve been asking Congress to change laws granting extra protections to families, unaccompanied children, and asylum seekers since it came into office. And they’ve blamed them for stopping Trump from securing the border the way he’d like (with a big stupid wall which won’t contribute to anything beneficial whatsoever). Furthermore, these aren’t necessarily “Democratic laws” either with a law addressing unaccompanied children passed overwhelmingly in 2008 that was signed by George W. Bush. While restriction on family detentions is the result of federal litigation. In this context, the law isn’t forcing Trump to separate families but keeping him from doing what he’d really want to do like sending families back or keeping them in detention together. So he’s resorting to Plan B.

Some Trump administration officials say they’re prosecuting immigrants and separating families to stop people from illegally coming to the US between ports of entry. This argument sounds like common sense since it allows the administration to avoid awkward legal or moral questions on trying to keep people out of the country. Yet, there’s no evidence this strategy works. While rolling out the “zero-tolerance” policy in early May, they claimed a pilot program along one border sector reduced crossings by 64% but they haven’t produced the numbers backing it up. Not to mention, as I described earlier, the Trump administration’s sending mixed signals about whether it wants people to use ports of entry to seek asylum legally. Since some asylum seekers have been separated from their kids doing just that while others were encouraged not to. Though they’ve promised to prosecute anyone who submits a “fraudulent” claim, Attorney General Jeff Sessions has made it clear that he suspects many, if not most, asylum claims are fraudulent. The statistics the Trump administration uses to back up that there’s been a “surge” since las year sometimes count both people getting caught by Border Patrol between ports o entry and those presenting themselves without papers at ports of entry for asylum. The implication is that the current crackdown will reduce both. This implies that a point of this policy is to stop families from entering the US seeking asylum, period.

If you want to know how the Trump administration is justifying family separations at a legal standpoint, they simply claim that criminal defendants don’t have a right to have their children with them in jail. But the question is whether they have the legal authority to put asylum-seeking parents in jail awaiting trial to begin with, knowing they’re splitting them from their children. Human rights organizations including the United Nations have argued that prosecuting asylum seekers as criminals violates international law. Yet, no presidential administration has agreed with that interpretation since the Obama administration prosecuted some asylum seekers as well, just not as often or with the Trumpian dedicated zeal. However, federal courts have ruled that it’s illegal to keep an immigrant in detention in hopes to deterring others, instead of making an individual assessment on whether the immigrant needs to be detained. That might pave the way for advocates to fight back against family separation or at least force the government to start helping families get reunited after their parents have been separated. In the ACLU’s lawsuit victory in June, the judge made it clear that he believed that if the allegations against the administration were true, they might very well be unconstitutional on violation of family integrity, which courts have found is implicitly part of the Fifth Amendment’s guarantee of “liberty” without due process of law. Though it has favorable odds, that doesn’t mean the case will succeed. Unless something else happens to change the policy before then, any opinion will be appealed and will likely go to the Supreme Court. Still, even if the ACLU does succeed, it won’t stop family separations at the border. The lawsuit argues that it’s unconstitutional for parents in immigration detention to be separated from their children. But not that it’s unconstitutional to charge parents with illegal entry and take them into a separate criminal court. A victory would merely obligate the federal government to reunite parents with their children once they’ve served their illegal entry sentence. Yet, whether the government can actually do that is another question. And for families, that’s less preferable than not being separated at all.

Though the Trump administration presents its crackdown as a temporary response to a temporary “surge” of illegal border crossers, it’s simply a return to normal levels of the past several years after a brief dip in 2017. To assume that the administration will be satisfied with border apprehension levels in a few months and wind down the aggressive tactics it’s started to use would be foolish. If we had a different president running a different White House, the outrage family separation has generated would result in the policy coming to a quiet end or at least curbed. Since it’s galvanizing not just progressives but also conservatives as well. But Trump’s administration rarely backs down from something because people are mad about it. More often than not, Donald Trump takes it as an indication he’s doing something right, even if he’s not. While Democrats scramble to propose bills limiting prosecution and separation, the issue isn’t inspiring the bipartisan momentum that Trump’s decision to end DACA last fall did. Thus, it’s extremely unlikely that Congress will pass a law stopping family separations at the border. And when it became clear the Trump administration was engaging in widespread family separations, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly’s vague and inaccurate comments on sending the kids to “foster care or whatever” were especially telling.

It’s possible that the Trump administration simply won’t have the resources to keep this many people in detention for so long or to keep prosecuting more and more people for a crime that’s already overwhelming federal dockets. Since ICE’s detention centers are already running out of space. Indefinite family separations will almost certainly overwhelm the already precarious system dealing with migrant children. Border Patrol and ORR won’t get the resources they need to address the new jobs they’re asked to take on by treating children separated from parents as “unaccompanied” kids. Yet, it’s also possible it’ll simply burn through the money it has and demand Congress for more in the name of protecting the US from an illegality invasion. The Trump administration knows it’s separating families and doesn’t believe it’s their job to reunite them.

Nonetheless, the cruelty of the Trump administration’s policies is almost impossible to imagine. Could you understand the parent separated from their child having no real sense of seeing them again? Could you comprehend the child stuck in a country whose language they don’t speak and in the care of strangers while their parents are gone? Such pain is incredible and traumatizing to experience. One Honduran man killed himself in his detention cell after Border Patrol took his 3-year-old son. CNN reported of Border Patrol agents ripping a breastfeeding woman’s infant daughter from her arms. A New York Times story tells of a boy who wouldn’t shower for 2 days or change his clothes after being separated from his parents and placed into foster care.

Yet, as much as the family separation crisis is about immigration policy and our country’s values, it’s also a health crisis. Separating parents and their children comes with considerable health risks. Every bit of a child’s health depends on a foundational relationship with a caring adult like their parents. When they’re separated, kids’ stress hormones start working overtime and are constantly on red alert. This causes disruption in the way that neural synapses connect with each other in their brain architecture. That can lead to developmental delay. Traumatized children develop speech slower, their motor skills don’t come along as quickly as they should, and they have difficulty creating proper attachments to other human beings. The younger the child is and the longer they’re in this kind of situation, the more difficult it is to reverse it. These experiences can have lifelong consequences like affecting a child’s ability to learn, being more susceptible to drug and alcohol abuse, and possibly could be at a higher risk of heart disease or cancer when they become adults. When a breastfeeding mother is torn from her infant, her breasts can be swollen and painful, which can develop to mastitis where the remaining milk can evolve into breast abscesses that must be removed via surgical drainage. Then there’s the fact that whatever children are telling social workers, doctors, or clinical psychologists at the border can be shared by ORR with DHS and federal immigration authorities. Under any other presidential administration this wouldn’t be a big deal since families were typically reunited during the Obama years. But under Donald Trump, the policy is increasingly used to detain or deport undocumented minors.

Donald Trump has implied that his justification for separating families seeking asylum, and his restrictionist ideology for even legal immigrants, is to prevent the United States from enduring what’s happening in Europe. For he falsely claims, immigrants there have brought with them a wave of violence that’s driving up the crime rate (except it’s not). He’s often referred to such outlandish claim as “politically incorrect” but that’s not it. Since he and key members of his administration are embracing what used to be a fringe theory held by the furthest of the far right. To these white supremacists, they argue that white people are being “systematically” erased by their inferiors, and thus require an influx of white babies and new white immigrants (at the exclusion of nonwhite immigrants) to survive. To some, white Americans and white culture, are threatened by a slow-running “genocide” via demographic replacement. Though this theory is just a bunch of racist bullshit with no historical basis whatsoever, it has adherents in the alt-right (which they evoked in Charlottesville with “You will not replace us”), across conservative media, and even in Congress and the White House. But such ideas are old, rooted in scientific racism and fears of interracial sex and babies once held by Woodrow Wilson and white supremacists alike. But now they play apart in creating government policy.

Donald Trump’s racism may be that of a 72-year-old man who thinks five nonwhite teenage boys should be executed for raping a jogger despite DNA evidence to the contrary. But his external racism is heavily influenced by adherents of an ideology that believes whiteness is the essential character of America (it isn’t), with direct and detrimental impacts on discussions regarding immigration policy. More importantly, Trump’s language and policies echo a worldview holding that whiteness is more valuable to participation in the American experiment than anything else, even a deep and abiding belief in American ideals.

While most of the GOP might not be comfortable using terminology like “white genocide” and “racial realism,” because many conservatives don’t share those views. They may see Donald Trump’s comments as elitist, unkind, divisive, and fly in the face of American values, even if racial issues aren’t on their priority list. But many on the right don’t see it that way as Jeff Sessions implements racist policies in the Department of Justice while Brietbart fans the flames of racial discord with “black crime” article labels and stories about imminent dangers posed by nonwhite immigrants. Nonetheless, Trump’s adoption of these racist views of the alt-right is at the core of the current immigration debate and has a direct impact on his immigration policy. In addition, it’s making the dealmaking process virtually impossible with Democrats and Republicans who desperately want to avoid any arguments racializing immigration policy. They want the debate about immigration to be about border security and genuine threats to American security, since it makes compromise imaginable even possible. But the debate over immigration is actually about a belief that nonwhite immigrants pose an existential danger to America and Americanness as a whole and that “demographics” require nonwhite immigrants to be expelled while white immigrants can be welcomed with open arms. You can’t negotiate with people who believe that an America letting in people from “shithole” countries isn’t the America they know and love. Despite that an America letting in people from “shithole” countries is exactly what America was built on for why else would millions Americans be here?

Keep in mind that Donald Trump’s core argument on his cruel and inhumane immigration policy is that reducing the number of foreign-born people living in the United States will leave native-born people richer and safer. This is full of crap which unfortunately many white people embrace. While Trump delivers concrete and material benefits to wealthy business executives in the form of tax cuts and industry-friendly regulations, what he’s offering to his white working-class backers is that cracking down on foreigners will solve their problems and that his willingness to suffer the condemnation by cosmopolitans is a token of dedication to their interests. In reality, it’s just a way for him to keep his working-class voters supporting him without doing anything to solve their real problems and possibly allowing his corporate allies to screw them over in the end. The kids held hostage are in large part, pawns in a game by which Trump is trying to coerce Democrats into backing sweeping reforms to legal immigration. The core of these reforms is to simultaneously switch the United States to what he calls a “merit-based” system, essentially raising the average educational attainment of legal immigrants while also cutting the overall number of immigrants. Yet, the net impact of this means reducing America’s GDP by about 0.3% in the long run while reducing overall GDP much more than that because the population is lower, meaning a more difficult time supporting the country’s retirement programs. Besides, immigrants contribute a lot to the American economy in way their native-born counterparts take for granted.

Then again, Donald Trump’s core pitch on immigration is always more about fear than economics, but here too, his politics are a disaster. While he often states how immigrants bring crime to this country, study after study shows he’s wrong. Mostly because immigrants legal and otherwise commit far fewer crimes than their native-born counterparts since they have a higher incentive to obey the law. Though gangs like MS-13 do exist, virtually everything Trump has done on immigration is counterproductive to addressing the problem of transnational organized crime. In its final years, the Obama administration ordered immigration services to lay off the vast majority of undocumented immigrants and target their efforts at apprehending violent criminals. Obama’s goal ultimately foiled by the courts and Trump’s election was to give work permits to millions and then have immigration law enforcement on the gangs Trump claims to be fighting. But immigration enforcement didn’t like the idea of being turned into some kind of auxiliary police force. They successfully stymied Obama’s efforts to concentrate on violent criminals, helped get Trump elected, and now we hear things like deporting 62-year-old permanent resident over a 20-year misdemeanor and a Kansas professor who’s lived here for over 30 years over a 2012 traffic violation instead of focusing on gang members. Even worse, by doing things like canceling Temporary Protected Status for hundreds of thousands of long-settled immigrants (like DACA), Trump is expanding the universe of nonviolent undocumented immigrants and making it that much less likely that law enforcement resources will be used against violent criminals.

Obviously, tearing children from their parents’ arms doesn’t poll well. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work for Donald Trump. His white working-class base sees a world where cultural elites have marginalized their concerns in favor of caring a lot more about the problems of immigrants and minorities because they see a zero-sum battle for attention and sympathy in which caring about immigrants’ problems means neglecting their own. Except that’s really not the case at all. Though such voters may not necessarily approve of the cruel treatment of Central American asylum seekers, but at the end of the day, the message that Trump is perhaps excessively cruel to foreigners emphasizes the notion he’s on their side. Except that he’s not because Trump knows how to deliver concrete wins to interest groups he cares about whether that’s letting health insurance companies discriminate against those with preexisting conditions, letting financial advisers deliberately give clients bad advice, letting chemical companies poison children’s brains, or delivering tax cuts that push profits to record levels. By contrast, nothing he’s doing on immigration will help anyone or anything. He’s got no answer to the rise of asylum seekers and is seeking broad policy changes that will lower wages and incomes. Anyone who knows a thing about Trump’s career, knows there’s absolutely nothing to suggest he has an aptitude for or interest in genuine problem solving. He’s a flimflam man who’s had to pay out $21 million for civil fraud in his fake university lawsuit before taking office and is now facing a new fraud lawsuit over his fake charity. This cruelty, too, is just a fraudulent branding scheme meant to make people who resent immigrants think he cares about them when he doesn’t. Immigrant kids will pay the highest price of all this deception. But in reality, nobody is going to gain, except Trump himself.

Yet, while Donald Trump and his administration may be bereft of common decency, ethics, or empathy, that doesn’t mean we have to be. While American history has incidents where non-white families have been forcibly separated, that doesn’t mean we have to put up with it. Nor do we have to tolerate immigration enforcement putting children in tent cities or cages. If we don’t want this family separation policy to define who we are as a nation, then we must speak out on this appalling cruelty and make our voices heard. Otherwise, do we have any decency?

Goal Worthy Soccer Fans from the FIFA World Cup

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Okay, I know the Men’s US Soccer Team won’t be in Russia since they didn’t qualify. But Women’s US Soccer Team will qualify for theirs since they win the World Cup in their tournament almost every time.

This week marked the beginning for the 21st FIFA World Cup hosted by Russia which had rights since 2010 that was way before all the collusion, cheating, and human rights abuses. Since my country the United States didn’t qualify, this isn’t a huge deal outside diehard American soccer fans. But since its founding in 1930, the World Cup has been the most prestigious soccer tournament in the world as well as the most widely viewed and followed sporting event in the world, even exceeding the Olympic Games. So it’s a very huge deal. And since it’s so widely watched around the world as soccer is one of the most popular sports, you’re granted to see plenty of crazy fans since a lot of countries take the sport very seriously like you have no idea. I mean have you ever heard of soccer hooligans? They exist. You also hear all kinds of crazy stories in soccer violence that make you scratch your head. And they thought American football fans were insane. Anyway, while most of my readers are American, there are plenty of viewers from other countries. So any post I do for the World Cup is mostly for them. Now for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy soccer fans and their elaborate costumes worth blowing your vuvuzela over. Enjoy.

  1. Don’t worry, Russia’s soccer fans aren’t that crazy.

Well, this guy seems friendly though he might just like large grandiose hats. Hope the other fans are all right.

2. Look out, here comes the Swiss cow brigade.

They have plush cows on their hats. And they’re even wearing shirts for Team Switzerland. Odd since I thought they’re supposed to remain neutral.

3. You can tell this soccer fan is a proud Mexican.

Since he has the image from his national flag. But he’s also showing what his country will do to its rivals in the tournament. Cue the eagle killing a snake.

4. The Russians are up and ready to rumble.

They’re all wearing armor and headdress. Though I highly doubt that the war bonnet is part of their culture. Still, they look pretty awesome.

5. Sometimes you just have to send in the shamans.

This guy is from Ghana, by the way. And I think he might be doing a ritual from his culture though I doubt it. But you never know.

6. These Japanese fans are absolutely psyched for the World Cup.

Here they’re wearing pins of the World Cup trophy. Not sure why Japanese fans would wear these outfits.

7. Ladies, may I give you some delectable soccer fans from Greece.

As you can guess these nice-looking guys are dressed up as their country’s most famous dish. You know, Greek yogurt.

8. Bet you’ve never seen a Swedish woman like her.

Okay, that’s a guy. But he’s nonetheless wearing a horned helmet with braids.

9. It’s time for the Chinese fans to get the large drums out.

Well, they may not be as crazy as the others. But they seem like they’re performing a ritual with these large drums.

10. This Brazilian is all covered in flags.

You’ll see more Brazilian fans in this post. Since soccer is absolutely huge there. And yes, this costume is ridiculous.

11. Can’t cheer for the World Cup without Christ the Redeemer.

Well, the World Cup was held in Brazil that Year. Nonetheless, this guy has a rather interesting hat.

12. You’d almost think this American soccer fan is out of this world.

Too bad he won’t be in Russia. Since the US Men’s team didn’t make it. But he rocks in blue hair.

13. Here comes the Honduran Mayan king and his court.

They all have painted faces. Yet, the guy on the far left has a funky headdress.

14. Never thought I’d see a Colombian elephant before.

Okay, this isn’t the best fan costume I’ve seen. Yet, kind of has a combination of both pathetic and terrifying.

15. If you’re from Pakistan, get a load of this hat.

Yes, he’s wearing his country on his costume. Because he cares so much about his team to look this ridiculous.

16. A Dutchman always dreams of a World Cup win.

For some reason, there are a lot of crazy Dutch fans at international sporting events. And yes, he’s wearing large glasses, a pimp hat, and an orange Hulk hand.

17. In the Netherlands, it’s not over until the fat barmaid sings.

Sure she might seem straight out of Wagner if she wore a horned Viking helmet. But this Dutch lady goes for the orange.

18. The Japanese blue frog salutes the team.

Didn’t know what this guy’s significance is. Still, wouldn’t want to run into whoever they are.

19. Seems like Dutch Air brought in a whole flight crew.

Actually they’re just fans dressed as a flight crew so their team lands on a win. But compared with other outrageous Dutch costumes, this is low key.

20. Apparently, George S. Patton has decided to show up.

God only knows what Patton would say in a World Cup soccer match. Still, you can see where the look came from.

21. Apparently, the French fans decided to dress like Vikings.

I think they’re based on Asterix cartoons, which are reputedly popular there. But don’t ask me.

22. Irish World Cup fans always go for the green.

These guys paint themselves green and wear Irish flag wigs. And yes, they’re ready to rumble.

23. Want to see a couple of Argentinian zebras make out?

I don’t get the zebra thing since Argentina is in South America. But the guy seems a bit taken aback here.

24. This Ivory Coast fan can always make an impression.

You know he’s on stilts since no guy can be that tall. But he knows how to draw a large crowd.

25. Apparently, this Brazilian warlock has decided to take a picture.

Because giving children nightmares should get in the way of enjoying a soccer game. And yes, he’s wearing that outfit for Halloween.

26. These leprechauns are urging Team Ireland make it.

However, while these Irish may dress as leprechauns doesn’t mean Americans should do so. Because they find depictions of leprechauns outside their country very offensive.

27. Seems like this Brazilian has his beard really tied.

Not sure how this guy deals with the discomfort. Then again, he’s only wearing his beard for the tournament.

28. You can’t misidentify these all-American women.

I’ve heard the idea of wrapping oneself in an American flag. But painting akin to one just takes the cake for me.

29. Check out the glasses on this Danish guy.

Yes, he’s wearing soccer glasses. Because he has Danish soccer on his mind. Not sure if he’s eating a Danish.

30. This Dutch bear has high hopes for the World cup.

I’m sure he’s in an orange bear costume with the World Cup trophy. Not sure about the significance of that.

31. You might not want to mess with this masked Japanese fan.

Yes, that mask is creepy. Though I have to admit it goes well with the hat.

32. A Brazilian lady must have a big bow at the World Cup.

And yes, the bow is green with yellow polka dots. She even ahs 2014 glasses, too.

33. Wonder who’s in the Ghana box.

Apparently, a fan who’s just as mystified. Still, I wonder how that person got out of that after the tournament.

34. These Japanese fans are looking quite blue lately.

I mean their faces are painted blue and have blue hair to match. However, they seem quite excited seeing their team play.

35. This Swiss man always loves to blow his horn.

He’s brought his trumpet and funky hat. And yes, it has 2 bright Swiss balloons.

36. An Australian fan can’t go without an antler kangaroo?

Okay, that’s pretty weird. And I see the guy wearing a mask as if he doesn’t want an embarrassment.

37. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings.

There’s one guy from Colombia whose costume is so elaborate, people just have to pose with him. And no, I don’t think he can fly.

38. With these French fans, it’s all for one and one for all.

Since they’re dresses as the Three Musketeers. With feather hats from the 17th century and all.

39. These German women are hopping mad.

What’s the deal with the bunny ears? I don’t understand it since they seem quite ridiculous.

40. This Brazilian soccer fan debuts in his new flag suit.

He even has striped tights, big glasses, and a funky hat to match. Let’s give it for this guy.

41. Best you don’t get this German devil lady angry.

Fortunately for her, the German team won in Brazil in 2014. Yet, she has braids matching the flag colors.

42. A Brazilian woman can’t show up without a tall feather hat.

Well, Brazil is known for its colorful pageantry, especially in Rio. Yet, at least her headdress sparkles.

43. What the hell are those weird Dutch guys in Mohawks doing here?

Don’t ask me. I have no idea why they have these muscled guys here. Must be a Dutch thing.

44. An Aztec Emperor should always wear the most elaborate headdress.

If his team doesn’t do well in the World Cup, then he will have his priests rip the players’ hearts out. Nonetheless, he’s also a fan of tacos.

45. Looks like this Roman soldiers gung ho for Team Italy.

By the way, Italy didn’t make it in this year’s World Cup either. So you won’t see this Roman gladiator anytime soon in Russia.

46. You’ll get a big hand from this Australian.

Helps if he’s wearing a wide hat and a flag cape. But the large hand stands out.

47. You’d be pressed not to be endeared with these Icelandic Vikings.

Indeed, Vikings never wore horned helmets. But that doesn’t stop these guys from cheering and singing.

48. Best you beware of the dreaded Colombian Tiger.

Okay, he’s more like a carefree guy with a flamboyant headdress. Love the feathers.

49. Speaking of headdresses, the Italians get theirs on.

Sure I don’t think they have anyone in the culture wear these outlandish hats. But they’re nonetheless colorful.

50. You can tell these Germans are here for the soccer.

Since they’re wearing soccer ball suits. And I’m sure they’re both filled with a lot of air.

51. Mexico is really on a Chile pickle.

Okay, this fan is wearing a Mexico pickle hat. Still, it’s kind of hilarious no matter how you look at it.

52. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Spanish Zorro.

He’s in one of those body suits with a hat and mask. But he’s all for his Spanish team.

53. This man wears a horned helmet for Team India.

Just when did the Vikings visit India? Because I never heard about that in the history books. Still, he carries the look with dignity.

54. These American guys show up to the World Cup in their star-spangled silk robes.

Well, Americans have always treasured their penchant for comfy clothes. But these guys seem to take this at a whole new level.

55. Perhaps the Dutchman would like to bang the drum.

Yes, I know he’ll probably offend Native Americans looking at this with his feather headdress war bonnet. But at least he’s not in his home country in early December.

56. A World Cup victory can always make anyone feel like a king.

Well, he’s German fan who’s probably overjoyed in Brazil. Still, got to like his royal red robes.

57. Captain America is a man on a mission.

Okay, he’s not the Captain America. But he nonetheless has the iconic shield along with the stars and stripes on his suit.

58. This South Korean likes a good cigar now and then.

Kind of reminds me of an anime character. And chances are, he probably is. Though he’s from South Korea.

59. Only the Dutch would wear wigs of orange foam.

Their funky wigs even have flags of the Netherlands on them. And yes, the Dutch seem to go all out.

60. Sometimes it’s best you don’t mess with Mexicans in elaborate headdresses.

Not sure if he’s Mayan or Aztec. But he won’t be happy if his team loses. Still, his headdress rocks.

61. Darth Vader seems to be on the Argentinian side of the Force.

Since he believes that winning the World Cup is Argentina’s destiny. Else, he’ll force choke them.

62. Didn’t know that Pope Francis was at the World Cup with his fellow Argentinians.

Okay, Pope Francis wasn’t there. It’s just a guy in a mask of him. But I’m sure he’d like the tribute since he’s an avid soccer fan.

63. This Italian warrior is ready for the soccer challenge.

And he’s clad in blue armor to show it. Hope he’s lucky that he’s not the attraction in the gladiatorial games.

64. You don’t know nothing about the elusive Mask.

However, he’s here for Team Brazil. Nonetheless, this is a fitting costume in regards to the color scheme on the Brazilian flag.

65. She’s got two sombreros and not much to cover.

And you can see them conveniently placed over her boobs. Oh, and she has fringes, too.

66. At the World Cup, you can’t beat the zeal of the Orange General.

He’s a Dutch superfan. And yes, he’s clad in orange, a terrible color to wear in combat.

67. Heard of cheeseheads? Well, here are the Swiss cheeseheads.

You can see they got this idea from Green Bay Wisconsin. And they gave the notion a unique touch for the World Cup.

68. I give you Watermelon Man.

Here he is posing for a selfie. Has a quite pleasant face if you ask me.

69. Apparently, Russian fans like seeing their players ride dragons.

One has a hydra. The other has a red dragon. But both look quite formidable and whimsical.

70. This American fan is so badass, he even has his own dinosaur hand.

I’m sure Hollywood is working on a movie based on him as we speak. Because he certainly has the action movie look to him.

71. Without the orange you’d think these two came from Las Vegas.

Well, the Dutch never disappoint with their outrageous fans. Though I like the feather headdress.

72. Even hombres can rock in sombreros and Mexican dresses.

You have to admit these dresses are very colorful. And that these men rock in them.

73. Who’s supposed to be the creepy head among the Argentinians?

Maybe it’s one of the players. But it’s the stuff of nightmares nonetheless.

74. This Colombian fan knows how to impress.

This was all the way from 1990. And he’s dressed like a bird carrying 2 flags.

75. Seems like this lady likes to dress in the Union Jack.

She’s there to support her English soccer team. Also, this is from 1970, by the way.

76. These women from Uruguay have some unique choices in headwear.

It’s to imitate the sun emblazoned on their flag. And yes, they certainly stun.

77. Behold, the majestic feathered eagle warrior.

This fan has his arms outstretched in feathered wings. Like the Aztec warriors of pre-Columbian history.

78. Check out that horned creature all the way from Ecuador.

Sure this guy has his arms outstretched. Yet, you can’t help but keep your eyes on him and his strange head.

79. Apparently, Bert and Ernie are rooting for Team Germany.

Though Bert and Ernie are actually American characters from Sesame Street. Guess they have an international following.

80. Might want to watch out for those clowns from Ecuador.

One of them is the Joker from the Dark Knight. You know what destruction he’s capable of. Why so serious?

81. You can’t see anything more regal than these English lions.

Well, the lion has a special place in English iconography. Though they have crosses on their faces to show.

82. Seems like these Italian pilots have landed.

Each is dressed in a flag color. And they’re wearing old timey pilot hats to match.

83. The Eggman always knows how to make an entrance.

He’s a South African superfan with a huge headdress decked with eggs. Wonder how he manages to keep it on his head.

84. It’s not just humans who get swept up in World Cup excitement.

This basset hound is dressed in Brazil’s colors and wears a fro. And it seems quite attentive to the game in the stands.

85. You don’t want to see this Mexican when he’s angry.

But the Hulk certainly knows how to don a red sombrero. But please, don’t make him mad.

86. This Dutchman comes with his own veggies.

He’s even wearing a hat with carrots and a radish. So he won’t go hungry.

87. A Portuguese superhero must know how to rock a scarf and mustache.

Well, a superhero has to stand tall even at a soccer game. And yes, he has Portuguese flag insignia where the Superman logo would be.

88. Mexican Superman would never miss a soccer match for his country.

But keep in mind his main nemesis is Donald Trump. Because the guy’s a full-blown narcissistic sociopath and white supremacist.

89. Looks like one Mexican came to the World Cup on a donkey.

Don’t worry the donkey is part of the costume. Yet, you wonder how many seats he’ll take up in the stands.

90. During American games, you can never have too many Elvis impersonators.

Indeed, Elvis Presley is an American treasure. That’s why you have these fans in sequins to watch a US soccer match.

91. These English knights are up and ready for battle at the World Cup.

A few of them even have their faces painted. Still, wouldn’t want to wear all that mail in June.

92. These fans from South Africa know how to support their team.

Yes, South African fans can dress in crazy costumes, too. Though the one in the large glasses takes the cake.

93. It’s during the World Cup when some Ecuadorian fans don elaborate masks.

Not sure about the cultural significance of these outfits. Must be a Pre-Columbian thing.

94. You’d almost think these Americans have heads full of corn.

Well, our country grows and consumes a lot of it. So it’s only fair if you ask me.

95. Wonder what’s with the pot on his head.

As you can see, this guy is from Ghana. But his pot seems like it’s filling with smoke.

96. Man, this Brazilian has large, uh, soccer balls.

Yeah, I know what some of you are thinking. Still, Brazil is a big place for soccer as it’s always been.

97. All Mexicans at the World Cup, hail your Emperor Montezuma.

Well, he certainly has the outfit nailed. Still, best not to make him mad or he’ll give you a nice drink of water.

98. This American woman always wraps herself in a flag.

She even has a sign for Hope Solo. Though she’s not exactly America’s sweetheart if you ask me.

99. My fellow Americans, say hello to President Theodore Goalsevelt.

He’s a superfan who’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt. But he’s more into soccer than big game hunting.

100. A big head of hair always requires a large comb.

And you can see that with this Brazilian fan who seems like a used car salesman from Las Vegas. Still, like his large glasses.

Celebrate the Stars and Stripes Forever with These Star Spangled 4th of July Craft Projects (Third Edition)

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Now we’re on to crafts. You might see with my opening pictures that the 4th of July is often celebrated outdoors with picnics, barbecues, and fireworks. After all, it takes place during the summer. And in some places of America, you’re bound to find towns holding parades and cities staging events like regattas if they’re near a body of water. So it’s only a given you’d see stores across the US brimming with American flag decorations in red, white, and blue galore. Yet, some people might prefer some DIY stuff they can make their own. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of ingenious and fanfare worthy crafts for the 4th of July.

  1. A few flags in your flower patch makes a great centerpiece.

Yet, I’m not sure if the flowers are real or fake. But they go well with the stripes.

2. Don’t want to ruin an American flag? Use a wooden panel instead.

Sure it may not have all the stars and stripes. But our flag is very complicated to replicate.

3. Plant your flowers in these patriotic pots.

Each one has a unique design in red, white, and blue. So feel free to plant your all-American zinnias.

4. Got some cardboard toilet paper and paper towel rolls? Make fireworks out of them.

Make sure they’re all in patriotic red, white, and blue patterns. Also, that they have tops to make them look bursting.

5. Show your love for American with this folksy hanging.

This one has the American flag in the shape of a heart. Ideal for rustic settings.

6. Make your front door star-spangled with this red, white, and blue bauble wreath.

Seems like they have these for every occasion. But this one sure is shiny.

7. Curl up on cool summer nights with this American flag quilt.

Yes, it’s all crumpled up on a couch. But you can see some of the flags and stars on the patchwork.

8. Don your hair with these watermelon clips.

As you see, they’re in red, white, and blue instead of green, pink, and black. Because it’s for a patriotic occasion.

9. This dresser is in the spirit of 1776.

Since it depicts the Betsy Ross flag. Though Betsy Ross didn’t design it since that story was made up by her grandchildren.

10. Red, white, and blue baubles can make any home festive.

These baubles are in glass jars for a display. And yes, they’re quite star-spangled.

11. There’s nothing patriotic on 4th of July like wearing a red, white, and blue tie-dye shirt.

Sure it’s not in a stars or stripes pattern. But it’s quite groovy nonetheless.

12. Show the spirit of 1776 with this American flag tutu.

Of course, this is for a young girl. But it made out of red, white, and blue tulle and ribbons.

13. Grace your front door this 4th of July with this decomesh wreath.

This one has an American flag star and ribbons. So stunning for any door.

14. Feel free to show your love for God and country.

Yes, it’s quite rustic. But at least this one seems to have 50 stars as dots.

15. Dress up your baby this Independence Day in this patriotic onesie.

Yes, the blue in this is a handprint. But it’s quite adorable, don’t you think?

16. Any little all-American girl would love this flag skirt.

Yes, this is from the back with a red bow. But what little girl in the US wouldn’t want this?

17. Rest your head on this American flag pillow.

This one consists of interesting stripes if you ask me. But it makes a great decoration.

18. Nobody can resist these star-spangled centerpieces.

Each of these boxes holds a bouquet of white and blue flowers. And they’re all on red stars.

19. Feel free to hang this all-American burlap wreath.

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Depicts an American Flag. Even has stars near the top.

20. This patriotic cone is filled with all-American goodness.

Consists of a teddy bear and fireworks on the top. Great for any quality all-American home.

21. Kick back and relax in these 4th of July lawn chairs.

These consist of images depicting the Statue of Liberty, fireworks, and a flag. And all in red, white, and blue.

22. For a more festive fanfare, try this American flag rag wreath.

Yes, it kind of looks messy. But it’s rather fit for any homespun American home.

23. Tell time from anywhere in the US with this large American flag clock.

Indeed, this wooden clock is quite huge if you ask me. But you have to admire the craftsmanship. Though you might not want to buy it.

24. A patriotic flower basket should always include a few pinwheels.

As long as they are in American flag patterns, of course. Still, love the red and white flowers.

25. Perhaps an American flag yarn wreath might suit you.

This one has red and white stripes along a blue portion with stars. Perfect for any patriotic front door.

26. Don’t like wreaths? How about a red star in frame?

The frame is laced with American flag patterned ribbon. And yes, it seems easy to make.

27. Let the flag shine bright with these star-spangled jars.

Just put these flags on the jars, use candles, and you’re done. And yes, they do shine quite bright.

28. This American flag panel lets the eagle soar.

Okay, this panel is quite artistically brilliant. Bet it fetches a high price on Etsy.

29. Let freedom shine with this rustic American lantern.

I know it doesn’t have a light inside. But its American flag decor make it worthwhile to put on this post.

30. Perhaps you might prefer a flowery American wreath.

This one consists of red, white, and blue flowers. Includes a red star and ribbons.

31. Got an old window pane? Make an American flag out of it.

Okay, this one uses about 2 panels instead of 6. Yet, you have to admire it in any room.

32. Celebrate the nation with this wooden panel.

Depicts the United States in the American flag. And on a finely varnish wooden board, too.

33. Some may prefer celebrating America in all caps.

Well, bottle caps anyway. Because many of the Stanley Cup winning Washington Capitals are Canadian.

34. Grace your 4th of July table with this flowery wreath.

Yes, some of the flowers may not seem blue. But the wreath appears to make a fine centerpiece.

35. Show your love for America with this wooden patriotic stand.

This one has wooden blocks depicting American sentiments. And each in red, white, or blue.

36. This star-spangled banner is a real patchwork.

This one consists of red, white, and blue squares in different patterns. But it resembles the American flag nonetheless.

37. Make sure you have your stars in a row.

These are decorated in ribbons and other decorations. And yes, they’re in red, white, and blue.

38. A burlap wreath can never have enough American flags.

Indeed, they have to be small. But this goes well on any American front door since it’s quite stunning.

39. Speaking of burlap, some might prefer a patriotic wreath like this.

One side is blue with stars. The other has red and white stripes. And there’s a bow in the middle.

40. Care for a wreath of Dixie cups.

Well, this is a perfect barbecue and picnic decoration. Yet, I wonder how they can find white and blue ones.

41. You can’t celebrate the 4th of July without dear old Uncle Sam.

This one is made of wood with a rag beard. Kind of resembles Santa Claus with a fancy top hat.

42. Hope you don’t light these fireworks.

Because all of these are made out of wood and string. Yet, each one has stars and red ends. Please don’t light them up.

43. Lounge around in your star-spangled lawn chair.

This is painted like the grand old flag. Though it does have a worn out look about it.

44. Feel free to support the USA with this mailbox decoration.

This mostly consist of wooden letters and blue decomesh. Still, how do you manage to decorate a mailbox? Most people don’t bother.

45. Let your patriotic pansies grow in this flower box.

This one just consists of a pallet box painted like an American flag. But it’s perfect for plants.

46. If it’s not Christmas, it’s a patriotic American tree.

Though there are some who do celebrate Christmas in July. Still, this one has all the trimmings and decorations you can think of. Yet, it’s mostly made from cotton balls.

47. Make your 4th of July festive with this star-spangled wreath.

This one seems like an elaborate fireworks show. Yet, I love the large star the best.

48. Make your picnic a blast with these sand filled candle holders.

And yes, they use red, white, and blue sand. So you can make your barbecue all so festive.

49. Ever saw an American flag folded like this?

Okay, I’m don’t think it’s a real American flag. But it sure looks great on the mantle.

50. A star-spangled flower tin can use a few American flags.

After all, this tin has a Betsy Ross design painted on it. So it can use a few flags.

51. Got an old lawn chair? Make an American flag of it.

Though it has to be a certain type of lawn chair. Though this is quite amazing.

52. Make your home stun with this festive 4th of July hanging.

Includes an American flag, ribbons, Uncle Sam hat and other decor. But it’s quite lovely.

53. Ever heard of star trees?

These are red, white, and blue trees with stars all over them. And yes, they’re all in pots.

54. Hope these cloth stars shine bright.

Both of these are made of felt on sticks. Yet, only one is against a doily of lace.

55. This American wreath is all composed of balls.

I’m sure these are mostly either styrofoam and ping pong ones. Yet, I love the stars here.

56. These garden wind decorations blow red, white, and blue.

This one has blue with stars on top and red and white stripes on the bottom. Perfect for a garden tunnel like this.

57. This patriotic wreath is all decked in red, white, and blue.

Consists of baubles, stars, ribbons, and other decorations. Best to use if you plan to shoot fireworks.

58. You can’t go wrong with a wooden Uncle Sam hat.

Has red and white stripes on top. Consists of dotted blue on the brim. And it’s touched with a star and ribbons.

59. With these cans, you can light up the night.

Designs include USA, fireworks, and a star. And all are in red, white. and blue.

60. Show your patriotism with this pin of Old Glory.

This mostly consist of safety pins and beads. So feel free to let the flag fly.

61. Let freedom ring with this 4th of July wreath.

After all, “Freedom Is Not Free” as this wreath says.” Decorated with flags and stars, by the way.

62. You can always light up in this Uncle Sam hat.

Includes some American flags. One of which has a star cut out. Perfect for a table at a barbecue.

63. Make sure the red, white, and blue blocks have stars on them.

And the stars can’t match the blocks in color. Though I like how they used string to tie each one pairing together.

64. A patriotic princess just has to have a billowing red, white, and blue dress.

The dress is mostly made out of tulle with red, white, and blue. But it’s nonetheless adorable.

65. Perhaps this patriotic panel might suit you.

Yes, it’s an interesting piece. Sure it doesn’t resemble the flag. But I don’t mind.

66. Make sure your apothecary jars say, “USA.”

Well, each one has a letter on it with a burlap bow. Perfect for any American home.

67. Sometimes it helps if you wrap a flag around a wreath of straw.

Well, it’s quite a stunning sight to have at one’s front door. Still, love the bow.

68. Then again, your little princess might prefer a striped dress.

The stripes are in zigzag. And the blue consists of dots than stripes.

69. Set your drinks down on this American flag coffee table.

Well, it’s quite rustic looking. But it’s finely varnished with the painted surface. Love it.

70. Rest your ass on this star-spangled bench.

This one consists of red stripes and white stripes along with a blue square. Words inscribed are “My country tis of Thee.”

71. Relax on your deck in these American flag lawn chairs.

By the way, we have a matching pallet set. And yes, they sure do rock.

72. You might like the stars on this wooden flag panel.

Indeed it doesn’t have the stripes and stars as the flag. But the stars are slightly raised for effect.

73. Sometimes you can do with a bit of fencing.

This one has some fence with decorations. Includes an American flag star and blue lantern.

74. Get an Uncle Sam hat bursting with stars.

The stars on these are golden as they sit on similarly golden berries. But it’s a grand patriotic display for a table.

75. Maritime folk might prefer this American flag anchor.

It’s a curl decoration. Yet, you have to love the creative ingenuity on it.

76. Impress your guests with this wood curl American flag wreath.

I know it seems quite feathery. Yet, the wood on this appears quite delicate if you ask me.

77. A 4th of July wreath should brim with flowers.

Though I have a few flower wreaths on this post, they’re not quite vibrant as this. Includes a bow near the bottom.

78. A 4th of July wreath should include a star-spangled star.

Consists of flowers and a large star with stars on it. Also like the American flag ribbon.

79. Make your home more homespun with this American flag milk can and bucket.

Granted these are just for show. But they will certainly go well with the homestead.

80. Keep all your Americana in this Uncle Sam pouch.

Includes an American flag, fireworks, and a bald eagle. Also his hat states “1776.”

81. Stick your American flags in this spindle post.

It’s just a high column painted black. But be free to put as many flags as you want.

82. Grow your flowers in this American flag teacup flower pot.

Yes, it may appear quite small. But these flowers look lovely inside it.

83. Perhaps you might want to drape a flag over an old ladder.

Includes a candle and sunflower, too. Wouldn’t mind having this at my house.

84. Don’t like wreaths? Try a red, white, or blue star.

Each one of these is painted in the colors of Old Glory. Nonetheless, they’re quite beautiful.

85. Feel free to sit on this American flag stool.

Well, it’s a bar stool. Though despite how it’s frowned upon to sit on the flag, this stool was made for sitting.

86. Perhaps you might want 3 stars in one.

They’re all made of sticks and in red, white, and blue. Not sure if I’d want that in my house.

87. Hope you’d like to hang an Old Glory saw on the 4th of July.

It’s painted in red, white, and blue. And it comes with an “Old Glory” bow.

88. If you love majestic mountains, perhaps you’d want this American flag hanging.

Sure it may have a flag in the background. Yet, this woman seems very proud of her creation.

89. Show your love for America with this heart panel.

This one has stars in a near heart shape. Nevertheless, I love this. So pretty.

90. Any American would love this patriotic night stand.

It has a flag on top, a striped drawer, and a blue star on red and white stripes on the bottom. Perfect for any patriotic home.

91. Put your white bread inside this Betsy Ross flag bread box.

The Betsy Ross flag is on the door. And the top is decorated with 3 blue stars.

92. With these blocks are the values our country holds dear.

Well, Americans do value freedom. But some people do have a funny sense of honor.

93. Sit back and relax in this American flag easy chair.

Never thought I’d see a piece of furniture like this before. Yet, I do love the upholstery.

94. You might want to picnic on this Old Glory table.

One plank is red. One plank is blue. The flag is the table.

95. You’ll find plenty of stars on these fireworks.

Well, the stars are yellow for bursts. But the firecrackers are all red, white and blue.

96. There’s nothing more American this 4th of July than star-spangled hearts.

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These are in a variety of red, white, and blue configurations. Love the flowers. So pretty.

97. A grand old flower flag makes an ideal 4th of July centerpiece.

Make sure the flowers are fake and in a wooden crate first. So pretty. Love it.

98. Catch the light with this patriotic suncatcher.

This is made of stained glass with a red shield and a blue eagle. Kind of resembles a car logo.

99. A wooden star can work wonders.

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This one is white on the left and red on the white. But one stick is blue with white stars.

100. Care for a potted Uncle Sam?

This one has him in striped pants, a blue shirt with stars, and glasses. All in all he’s adorable sitting in a red chair.

Salute the Red, White, and Blue United States of America with These Patriotic 4th of July Treats (Fourth Edition)

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Once again, I prepare for the celebration of America with my annual posts of 4th of July treats and craft decorations. Despite that the presidency of the complete monster Donald Trump has very much ruined it for me since he basically goes against everything that my country stands for. And people think he’s a patriotic American? For God’s sake, he’s a fraud who feels more a home enriching himself on the taxpayer dime, breaking political norms, disrespecting the US Constitution and undermining our image in the world without a care. He’s a narcissistic sociopath who cares about nothing but himself. And people want me to unite behind this man or respect him? Sorry, but I’d rather spit in his eye since he has no respect for the United States, its values, or its people. Anyway, I apologize for my little rant but since that unrespectable man got in the White House, patriotic holidays seem to get me railed up since he’s alienated me. Maybe I’ll just take a knee until that authoritarian demagogue fascist is out of office. At least around this time of year. Yet, 4th of July is supposed to be a time of picnics and barbeques where you’d have hotdogs and hamburgers along with some desserts like pies. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of star spangled treats for America’s birthday.

  1. An American cake should always have a bald eagle on top.

Though I don’t think the figure is edible. However, this 2-tier cake is partially covered with an American flag.

2. Grace your patriotic dessert platter with this red, white, and blue trifle.

This one contains strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream. Since you have to have patriotic flair.

3. A 4th of July cake should always be covered with an American flag.

One side has stars. The other has stripes. Sure, it’s professionally made but no matter.

4. Honor our American heroes with this triangle flag cake.

Because when a serviceman dies, this is how the military presents the American flag to their loved ones. And yes, it has to be folded into a triangle.

5. Celebrate the 4th of July at the beach with these cookies.

After all, the 4th of July is a summer holiday. So get your red, white, and blue bikinis and star-spangled flip flops.

6. You can’t celebrate the 4th of July without this spectacularly American flag cake.

One tier has thin red stripes on white. One tier has white stars on blue. And one tier has thick red stripes with white stars on top.

7. Celebrate American with some red, white, and blue nachos in your salsa.

Sure, they’re not arranged like an American flag. Comes with a bowl of salsa and guac.

8. These pancake stacks make a quality 4th of July breakfast.

Yes, they’re considerably smaller than what you’d get at IHOP. But each has strawberries, blueberries, and banana.

9. Grace your 4th of July dessert platter with these star-spangled cookies.

Each of these has a design in stars and stripes. And yes, they’re professionally made.

10. These firework cookies are uniquely explosive.

Because Americans often shoot fireworks on the 4th of July. Except if they live near an area where there’s a high wildfire risk.

11. This mini cupcake flag is especially fruity.

Consists of blueberries, raspberries, and coconut toppings. Yet, they’re all on a tray for good measure.

12. A star cake should have 3 layers.

The layers are in red, white and blue with white icing keeping it together. And it’s covered in a strawberry syrup, I think.

13. If you’re tired or poor, you might enjoy this cake of Lady Liberty.

This especially goes if you live in New York. Since it’s a symbol of NYC. Still, Trump better watch out for her torch.

14. For healthier options, may I suggest an American flag fruit salad?

Consists of blueberries, banana, and watermelon. Yes, it’s similar to other platters but this one is all fruit.

15. Nobody would object to this star-spangled cake.

This one has a star in the American flag. And it’s covered with sprinkles on the edge.

16. Feast your eyes on these fruity red, white, and blue bites.

These consist of strawberries, blueberries, and icing. And you can pop them in your mouth, apparently.

17. These American flag cupcakes make a quality patriotic dessert.

These consist of white icing with a blue star and red stripes. So far, they seem quite doable compared to the other desserts on here.

18. You’ll have an explosive 4th of July with this American flag cake.

Since this one has firework decorations which you can’t eat. But it’s nonetheless festive.

19. For an outdoor picnic, you can’t do without these cake kabobs.

These consist of cakes, fruit, and marshmallows on sticks. Perfect for any 4th of July dessert platter.

20. This sheet cake of the United States is an all-American showstopper.

The US is in the form of an American flag. And it’s surrounded by stars and banners.

21. You’ll get stars with these fruity cheesecakes.

These consist of fruit fillings and cheesecake in jars. At least as far as I can tell.

22. No patriotic American can resist these mini red velvet flag cakes.

Topped with white icing for stripes and blueberries. But be careful as you put them on your plate.

23. You can’t enjoy the 4th of July without a star-spangled pie.

Well, it’s not the first pie flag I’ve had. Yet, it has more blueberries and stars than the others I’ve posted.

24. Nothing makes the 4th of July like an American flag of M&Ms.

The stripes are even separated by paper so they won’t mix together. The blue M&Ms are in a bowl.

25. An American flag cake should wave with fruit.

This one has blueberries on the star section and strawberry slice stripes. Only the icing is white.

26. You’d be bursting for this firework cake.

And the cake is white with red and blue fireworks. Also seems rather easy to make.

27. These pretzel flag bites make a rather patriotic snack.

All you need to make these are waffle pretzels, icing, and M&Ms. Doesn’t seem hard to make, does it?

28. Enjoy your 4th of July party with this Taco salad flag.

Yes, I posted a taco salad flag before. But this one has less stripes and lettuce in the star section. Also, the olives are sliced.

29. Treat yourself to some red, white, and blue jello treats.

These consist of jello on the bottom and fruit on top with whipped cream in between. Red has blueberries. Blue has strawberries.

30. Your beach party can’t be complete without a star-spangled beach ball cake.

Yes, this is professionally made. But it goes nicely with the swimsuit and flip flop cookies.

31. You can’t have a great 4th of July party without a patriotic American slab pie.

This one has strawberry filling in the stripes and 3 rows of stars. And yes, it’s great for any 4th of July picnic.

32. Red, white, and blue frozen bananas are a quality 4th of July treat.

Each one is covered by icing and sprinkles. Some of the sprinkles are even stars.

33. A hotdog cake is perfect for an Independence Day barbecue.

After all, hotdogs and burgers are always classic 4th of July fare. Still, it can’t be as disgusting as real hotdogs.

34. Nothing makes a great 4th of July dinner than an American flag casserole.

This one has a green banner, tomato stripes, and cheese stars. And over a layer of cheese.

35. There’s something flowery about this American flag cake.

Indeed, this is a wedding cake. Consists of buntings and American flags along with a white flower.

36. Perhaps a star American flag cake may interest you.

Yes, I know the flag is in a rectangular shape. But you have to go all yankee doodle dandy on this one.

37. How about a flag draped on a cake?

Sure the flag’s not all on the cake. But it’s draped like you’d lay one on a soldier’s coffin.

38. Any American would be tied for these patriotic cookies.

These are American flag bow cookies. The stripes are on the ends. The stars are on the top.

39. Impress your patriotic guests with this American flag snack tray.

This one has meat and cheese stripes along wit cheesy stars. And all on a wooden platter.

40. Raise a glass to these star-spangled cupcakes.

This one has M&Ms inside a glass with a cupcake on top. And the cupcakes have sprinkles.

41. You can’t go wrong with these spectacular 4th of July cookies.

Includes, flag flip flops, American flags, Statue of Liberty, buntings, and fireworks. Perfect for any picnic and barbecue.

42. With this 4th of July cake, you can support the troops.

Though soldier ribbons are usually yellow. But the flag adds an extra patriotic flair.

43. For your 4th of July lunch, munch on these tortilla stars.

These are covered in cheese and salsa. And seem quite easy to make.

44. If you enjoy beach parties, try these cookies.

Yes, I showed some beach cookies on this post before. But these include starfish and clams.

45. You can’t do wrong with a fruity cake like this.

This one is covered with blueberries and a strawberry star. And yes, it’s rather doable.

46. Care for a flower with stars and stripes?

This one has stars in the blue center and striped petals. Professionally made but creative.

47. Nobody can resist these American flag truffles.

Many of them are made of Oreo cookies. Not to mention, decorated with icing and sprinkles.

48. These red, white, and blue stars are especially cheesy.

After all, they’re cheesecake stars. And each one is decorated with blueberry and strawberry syrup.

49. For outdoor 4th of July parties, top your dessert platter with this gazebo cake.

I’m sure the gazebo isn’t edible. Yet, it’s nonetheless decorated with stars.

50. Feel free to this all-American snack platter.

This one has cheese and cracker stripes, cheese stars, and a pepperoni blue square. Perfect for a barbecue.

51. These Uncle Sam cookies are a patriotic delight.

These consist of a flower beard with hats. Still, at any rate, they’re quite adorable.

52. These treats seem to go out like fireworks.

Because they’re Rice Krispie firecrackers. And each color is separated by marshmallows.

53. Nothing makes a great 4th of a July dessert like a Patriotic Mousse Parfait.

This one has red cakes, whipped cream, blue icing on top, and white chocolate chips. And yes, they sure look tasty.

54. You can’t go wrong with these star-spangled cookies.

These have a blue border and red M&Ms on each point. And I’m sure most won’t have trouble making them.

55. Anyone can enjoy these Oreo pops.

These have red and blue stripes with similar colored stars. Yet, I’m sure anyone would love them.

56. You can let the eagle soar on this patriotic cake.

This one has a bald eagle head on top. The rest is covered with an American flag. Amazing.

57. You’ll find plenty of stars on this cake.

Of course, the stars are around the cake in an American flag fashion. Yet, you have to admire it nonetheless.

58. Anyone can delight in these jello American flags.

Not sure how you get the colors like that. But they’re quite cool to look at.

59. Nothing encapsulates America like a star-spangled baseball cake.

Still, it would’ve been more American to have a football cake. But summer is baseball season. So there.

60. Perhaps a fruity star on a sheet cake may suit you.

This one consists of blueberries and strawberries. Great for any barbecue.

61. How about a 4th of July pizza party?

This one consists of pepperoni and cheese stripes. And I’m sure there are blue chips and cheese for the square.

62. All a cake needs is a star-spangled bow.

This one has a blue bow with stars on top. Yet, most of the cake consists of stripes.

63. These cake squares seem stitched together.

Since it’s supposed to resemble an American quilt. All with stars on blue and stripes.

64. “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

Yes, they have a moon landing cake. And yes, I’m putting it on my post. Because USA! USA!

65. Care for a berry tart on this 4th of July?

This consists of raspberries and blueberries in stripes. More suited for barbecues that don’t have a lot of flags.

66. Serve up some of this fruity American flag pizza.

Consists of blueberries, banana slices, and strawberries. And yes, you have blueberries on the border.

67. You’ll find the US Constitution on this cake.

Though it’s on a scroll. Still, Donald Trump thinks it’s just a piece of paper which he’s clearly not honoring. Since he’s making money on the presidency.

68. You’re bound to love this cake with red, white, and blue stars on top.

The side of it has an American flag heart. So you can show your love to America on its birthday.

69. You’ll find plenty of cheesy stars on this snack platter.

All of the stars are on top of some meat. And they’re all in different sizes and colors.

70. Make your star-spangled party splash with these bunting cookies.

These are decorations you might see on political podiums. Yet, these cookies seem easy to make though have much more polish.

71. Perhaps a patchwork cake may suit you for this 4th of July.

Well, it’s a circular quilt cake. But you have to admire the seams on the stars and stripes.

72. Celebrate your 4th of July with these American flag candy bars.

These seem more like brownies covered with M&Ms. So you can figure that out yourself.

73. Your 4th of July cake should always reach new heights.

This one has several tiers. One perhaps the words to the Declaration of Independence. Or is it the Constitution?

74. A waving American flag cake can always include star cookies.

This the star cookies are in swirls like an explosion. And the flag cake looks very stunning.

75. Wake up this 4th of July to these open face breakfast sandwiches.

Well, I’ve posted one of these before. But these have jelly on them instead of raspberries.

76. Cool yourself off this 4th of July with this patriotic jello treat.

This one has 3 layers of red, white, and blue in a glass. Still, love the glasses.

77. For healthy snacks, try this American flag veggie tray.

Consists of red pepper and cauliflower stripes. The dip is dyed blue, by the way.

78. A 4th of July cake can always use a few flowers.

As long as they’re red, white, and blue flowers of course. Though I don’t think these are edible.

79. Nothing makes people excited like 4th of July Rice Krispie firecracker treats.

These mostly consist of red, white, and blue bars. But they’re quite easy to make though.

80. Celebrate the 4th of July with these pie crust stars on your dessert platter.

Well, they’re all covered in sugar. Whether you use them as a pie or cookies, people will love them.

An Unconstitutional War on Preexisting Conditions

Since I am a Medicaid recipient due to having a pre-existing condition called Autism, the issue of healthcare is a very important to me. So much so that during the House of Representatives’ passage of the American Healthcare Act deeply troubled me that I was enraged, anxious, and inconsolable about the whole thing for a good part of 2017 summer. Anyway, one of the most important aspects in the Affordable Care Act are the protections for people with pre-existing conditions who consist of 130 million of the US population under 65. Because before the ACA’s 2010 passage, if a citizen had a pre-existing condition, insurance companies could reject them, charge them more, raise the rate once they’re enrolled, or even refuse to pay or cover for essential healthcare benefits treating that condition. And insurance companies often canceled coverage for people who became ill once the policy year ended. In fact, they often required applicants to fill out long questionnaires about their medical histories and made decisions based on people’s health and how much to charge. This led to so many Americans unable to purchase health insurance on the individual market at all. Obamacare outlawed all these practices and set limits on how much these insurers can charge.

On Thursday, June 7, 2018, the Trump administration filed a court brief arguing that Obamacare’s protections for preexisting conditions should be ruled unconstitutional. This opens another front in the White House’s crusade to roll back the law’s core insurance reforms and some of its most popular pillars. Not to mention, intensify the fight over healthcare just as mid-term elections are months away. Since Republicans and the Trump administration have been behind major efforts to sabotage the ACA, we can expect taking away protections for pre-existing conditions won’t do them any favors. For GOP ideas on healthcare have proven to be obviously and deeply unpopular among the American public. In fact, when the American Healthcare Act was up for debate last year, it faced strong opposition by the Democrats, the medical establishment, disability activists, celebrities, religious groups, civil rights organization, and most of the population in every state.

The brief was filed in a case brought by several conservative states arguing that because Republicans in Congress repealed Obamacare’s individual mandate penalty in last year’s tax bill, rendering it unconstitutional along with the rest of the ACA law. The lawsuit argued that without an actual fine for being uninsured, the mandate should be considered illegal under Chief Justice John Roberts’ rationale used to uphold the law in the 2012 lawsuit. He claimed that Congress can’t order people to buy insurance but it could imposing an uninsurance penalty fee, allowing the rest of the law to stand and take effect. Without the financial penalty, the Republican-led argued the requirement to buy insurance can’t legally stand. And since it’s so crucial to Obamacare, the whole law should be found unconstitutional, too. If you don’t understand this convoluted construct, you aren’t alone since neither do I.

Usually, a presidential administration defends the current law, but the Trump administration agreed with the states that the mandate and with it, the law’s rules prohibiting insurers from denying people health insurance or charging them higher rates should now be found unconstitutional. However, the Justice Department lawyers told the court that the rest of the law could stand, including the law’s massive expansion to millions of the nation’s poorest. Should the Trump administration’s argument prevail, insurers could once again be able to flat-out deny Americans insurance based on their health status. Since no amount of federal subsidies would protect them. Medicaid expansion will remain but the private insurance market would no longer guarantee coverage to every American willing to pay for it. Yet, according to a 2016 Kaiser Family Foundation analysis, a favorable ruling could result in 52 million Americans under 65 finding their access to health insurance at risk because of a wide range of pre-existing conditions like diabetes, cancer, autism, allergies, acne, toenail fungus, domestic violence, tonsillitis, bunions, hemorrhoids, pregnancy, and being a woman. Those who may be affected by pre-existing condition clauses may include police officers, firefighters, stunt people, test pilots, and circus workers. Striking down these provisions would be catastrophic and have dire consequences for many patients with serious illnesses. Not only would millions lose their coverage, but their ability to buy health insurance. If you have individual insurance and have suffered so much as a case of asthma, you have every right to freak out over the choices the Trump administration has made.

Of course, this argument makes absolutely no sense. When Congress adopted the individual mandate in 2010, it was an essential part of a broader scheme. But Congress is always free to amend and omit what they previously thought was essential, which is what they did when they nixed the uninsurance penalty. Sure the move was stupid since the individual mandate’s purpose is to get healthy people to buy insurance to spread the risk across a broader population and help keep prices lower for everyone. Get rid of the mandate, insurance premiums spike. But despite their idiocy to get rid of the mandate, they let the rest of the law stand. For a court to now reject that choice would be the worst kind of judicial activism. The Justice Department should’ve given an easy explanation and had a duty to do so. Since there’s a longstanding, bipartisan tradition defending acts of Congress whenever a non-frivolous argument can be made in their defense, which is certainly the case here. This brief squashes that commitment.

Nonetheless, the brief sends a strong signal that the Trump administration believes the central insurance reforms in the ACA should be totally undone. Already, the administration has taken regularly steps to undermine those rules such as expanding short-term plans that don’t have to comply with the reforms. But it’s now seeking a different avenue, outside Congress, to end them for good. Because we all know how congressional Republicans have failed to pass Obamacare repeal last year despite coming astonishingly close (only to be thwarted by 3 Republican senators). Of course, Donald Trump has promised he’d make sure all Americans get better, cheaper healthcare. Yet, he has done nothing to achieve that despite how his supporters give him credit when they benefit from ACA provisions. Still, we should know full well that Trump frequently makes promises to people to get what he wants only to frequently break them. Since he often has no intention to follow through to begin with.

Luckily, the litigation’s success is far from assured since many legal scholars have long thought the lawsuit is stupid. Because the higher courts who’ve upheld Obamacare against existential legal threats on several prior occasions won’t take it seriously. Besides, protections against pre-existing conditions remains one of ACA’s most popular provisions since 130 million Americans under 65 have them. Openly attacking them might lead to severe political backlash for Republicans during the mid-terms. Since it’s an election year Democrats already want to focus on healthcare. The Trump administration’s position doesn’t really change the legal ground much. Since the Democratic-led states had already stepped in to defend Obamacare in the case. Then there’s the fact several career federal lawyers withdrew from the case shortly before the brief was filed since they thought the Trump administration’s arguments were ridiculous. After all, they’re non-political civil servants whose job is to defend federal programs. These lawyers couldn’t sign the brief in good conscience or in consistent with their professional obligations. They defend programs they personally disagree with all the time.

Yet, health insurers are setting their Obamacare insurance rates for 2019. Some plans are already hiking premiums by 30% or more thanks to what Congressional Republicans and the Trump administration has done. This lawsuit and the administration engenders more uncertainty which won’t help. For any time there’s uncertainty about the future, insurers build an extra cushion into their premiums to make sure they get the profits while they can. In addition, removing those provisions will result in renewed uncertainty in the individual market, create a patchwork of requirements in the states, lead to higher rates for older Americans and sicker patients, and make it more difficult to introduce products and rates for next year. Some have even withdrawn from the business of selling individual insurance plans or may exit certain areas entirely. Such actions will harm millions of Americans, especially if they don’t qualify for Medicaid and don’t receive health benefits at work. Not to mention, throw the health insurance market further into chaos while eroding the massive ACA insurance gains.

Although the Affordable Care Act isn’t under immediate threat so far, the Justice Department brief represents a blow to its integrity and independence. Moreover, it also illustrates the Trump administration’s contempt for the rule of law, which isn’t surprising. Laws Congress passes and that presidents sign are the laws of the land. They’re neither negotiable or up for debate. If the Justice Department can just throw in the towel whenever a law is subject to a court challenge, it can effectively pick and choose which laws should remain on the books. That’s a flagrant violation of a president’s constitutional duty to make sure the laws are faithfully enforced. Do you want to live in a country where the Justice Department can use the flimsiest excuse to justify declining to defend or enforce a law? Sure there are cases where the DOJ has deviated from principle, they’re extremely rare.

Is there any precedent for this? I’m sure Donald Trump’s defenders will talk about the Obama administration’s decision not to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. But with DOMA, the Justice Department faced a question about the meaning of the Constitution with deep resonance for the values we share as a nation. As we no longer believe it’s constitutional to deny interracial couples the right to marry, the Justice Department concluded that we as a nation, no longer think it’s constitutionally tenable to deny equal rights to LGBT people. Whether you agree or disagree with that decision, it was rooted in the public’s evolving sense on what the Constitution meant.

However, this case with the ACA pre-existing condition protections can’t be more different from DOMA. The question isn’t whether a penalty-free mandate is unconstitutional. This is a critical question on “severability” which doesn’t represent a clash of fundamental constitutional values or defines who we are as a nation. Besides, the conservative states’ argument is laughably weak. It’s unlikely that the Supreme Court will adopt such a flimsy argument these conservative states have advanced which they pulled from their own ass. For now, nobody needs to worry about losing their health insurance since the Trump administration will keep enforcing the ACA as litigation progresses. Yet, by declining to defend that law, the Trump administration has admitted it doesn’t care about a law passed by Congress and signed by the president. In fact, it has contempt for the law and has a baseless argument for casting it aside. A rule by whim should frighten you.

In any case, regardless of what these conservative states argue in this lawsuit, I sincerely believe invalidating protections for pre-existing conditions is cruel and inexcusable. The guarantee that people should be able to buy health insurance regardless of their health history is a popular provision in the divisive ACA with considerable support throughout the political spectrum. So there’s nothing controversial about them. To say that provisions protecting people with pre-existing medical conditions like myself are unconstitutional flies in the face of logic for me. Considering they protect over 130 million Americans, it’s more likely that revoking provisions on pre-existing conditions would be unconstitutional under the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause, which provides that no state should deny any person within its jurisdiction equal protection under the law. I’m not sure if it means that insurance companies can’t discriminate against people on health status or gender. Yet, since this clause has been used to determine that businesses can’t discriminate against race or sexual identity, I don’t see why not. Because without these protections, over 130 million Americans would be uninsurable in the individual market. Thus, individual mandate or not, health insurance companies can and should be compelled to cover everyone regardless of pre-existing conditions. Again, I’m not sure if this is a sound legal argument. But since I see healthcare as a civil right the government should protect, I don’t see why attorneys shouldn’t argue that point in court. Since the federal government is supposed to protect Americans against discrimination, in which these pre-Obamacare pre-existing condition clauses certainly fall under that. I mean that’s discriminating against sick, old, and disabled people along with women and LGBT people, especially if they’re poor and unable to pay the costs out-of-pocket. And even if I can’t provide a sound legal argument, I can make a case of basic morality that no American should be denied health coverage for any reason whatsoever since I strongly believe that healthcare is a civil right the government should protect. Sure, this might mean that for-profit healthcare is a morally indefensible travesty like it does for me. But if we should determine that provisions protection those with pre-existing conditions are constitutional, shouldn’t an argument based on simple fairness and decency be enough?

The Children at the Border

Undocumented immigration has been a contentious topic in the American political landscape. But the more I know about the subject, the less I agree with current US immigration policy. At the end of May, a viral hashtag asking #WhereAreTheChildren sprang up on Twitter after the New York Times reported that the federal government hasn’t been able to make contact with 1,475 minors awaiting deportation hearings who many dub as the so-called “missing.” But despite reports to the contrary, these children aren’t really “missing.”

According to immigration experts, these children aren’t in government custody nor are they supposed to be. In fact, these are unaccompanied minors arriving at the US border without parents or adults who immigration authorities have detained and largely released into the care of parents or other close relatives. The government recently tried reaching about 7,600 of these children with a single phone call each. In 1,475 of these, the phone calls went unanswered.

But immigration advocates don’t find the 1,475 unanswered phone calls to the sponsors of unaccompanied minors particularly concerning. Because there are plenty of reasons why families might miss a phone call like boring logistics and more widespread fears of the federal government. A lot of these families have a pay-as-you-go phone number.

However, immigration advocates aren’t spending a lot of time worried about #WhereAreTheChildren. Instead, they think they worry significantly more about the Trump administration’s new policy of separating undocumented families apprehended at the US border. This policy has already led to more than 600 children being separated from their parents. And they fear it will create traumatic situations for families and overwhelm the very immigration infrastructure put in place to protect these minors.

On May 7, 2018, the Trump administration announced that it would begin separating all families apprehended at the border trying to cross into the US without documentation. An increasing share of border crossers seeking asylum come as “family units” consisting of at least one adult with one child. Though the Trump administration refers to them as “purported family units” as if to imply these people are lying about their family relationship. For it’s much harder for the government to detain whole immigrant families than it is to detain adults. Federal court rulings have set strict standards on the conditions under which families can be detained. Under the Obama administration, courts ruled that the government can’t keep families in detention for more than 20 days.

However, the Trump administration’s solution that’s now codified in policy is to stop treating them as families. This means to take the parents as adults and place the children in the custody of what Health and Human Services refers to as “unaccompanied minors.” In some cases, according to immigration lawyers, parents separated from their children have begged to withdraw their asylum applications. So they can easily reunify their families in their home countries. Attorney General Jeff Sessions has described this as a “zero tolerance” policy. As he noted, “If you cross the border unlawfully, then we will prosecute you. It’s that simple.” When pressed by NPR whether this policy was “cruel and heartless,” (which it is), White House Chief of Staff, John Kelly answered, “The children will be taken care of — put into foster care or whatever.” This is another way of saying, “we don’t give a shit what we do to them. We just want to use them as a bargaining chip to get them and their parents out of the country.”

But for families facing the prospect of “foster care or whatever,” the reality can deeply devastating. The Houston Chronicle once reported of a 28-year-old father separated from his 18-month-old son last summer at the southern border, crossing without documentation. The Guatemalan man mortgaged his land back home to fund his sick toddler’s hospital stay and needed to work in the US to pay off the loan. But border patrol agents arrested him for coming back after having been deported for a felony. They placed the toddler in a federal shelter, “somewhere in Texas” while the father was deported 3 months later. The man still doesn’t know where his child is to this day. Yet, hundreds of these situations play out as we speak for families trying to cross into the United States. The Trump administration estimates that it’s apprehended 638 undocumented adults trying to cross the border since the new separation policy began. They were traveling with 658 children. This is beyond other family separations that have happened. According to the New York Times, before the Trump administration announced the new policy, there might’ve been as many as 700 family separations. Keep in mind these people haven’t been convicted of crimes. Many are coming to the United States seeking asylum from the horrific violence in Central America, particularly in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras, which has increased 16-fold since 2011, according to UN estimates.

Obviously, immigration advocates are worried about what these separations mean for the undocumented minors going into the United States. The most glaring is the trauma of losing parental contact, especially for the youngest kids. For these children in government custody, their main concern is how fast they can get to the person they see as a family member. For young children, it’s all they can think about. And these detention centers can be a tough place for children to live. Sure, they might have a bit of an education program. But even low-security facilities have barbed-wire fencing around them and monitored communication with those outside. This isn’t good for a kid. Most of the detained minors will be released into the care of a close relative as per the goal for those arriving unaccompanied and those separated from their families. Though those separated from their families might face more challenges since their parent is in government custody. According to ICE, unaccompanied children usually spend 51 days in these facilities with 93% released into a guardian’s care like parents and other close relatives.

But even then, separating families at the border could mean this group of children have a worse chance for making a case for asylum in the United States. Advocates worry about 2 distinct hurdles. First, the separation policy leads to more unaccompanied minors in the country and more children vying for limited attorney services from the pro bono firms typically taking their cases. Already, less than half of those kids get representation. That could have real effects on children since those receiving representation are 73% more likely to win in deportation hearings, compared to just 15% of those without. In addition, children are less able to defend themselves against deportation hearings when they can’t contact their parents. Because their folks likely know better why they believe their kids ought to get asylum in the US and be carrying the paperwork to back it up. Because the adults often know the full story since they’re with the kids the whole time as well as carry documents like birth certificates or police reports. But once these kids are separated, obtaining asylum is a lot harder mostly since the parents often face criminal charges in court at the same time.

Nonetheless, immigration advocates are torn on how aggressively should track unaccompanied minors like whether there’s actually a problem that there isn’t more than a phone call made to ascertain these kids’ whereabouts. On one hand, they want to make sure these unaccompanied children are getting the services and support they need like representation as they move through court proceedings on their immigration status. On the other hand, they worry about aggressive monitoring these children if the US means to use that information as a means to surveil unaccompanied minors to get info they could use against them in their deportation hearings. And because of all the other ways the Trump administration is enforcing these types of laws and policies to serve quite restrictive ends. If keeping track of these kids isn’t done with a more holistic goal of keeping these children safe and healthy (which is very likely), then we should be very disturbed by it.

Now the Trump administration didn’t start this humanitarian crisis. But it’s indeed exacerbating it. Members of the administration have framed the new policy as a way to deter families from entering the United States. As Sessions told a disturbed conservative radio host, “If people don’t want to get separated from their children, they should not bring them with them.” Donald Trump and the attorney general have erroneously leveraged the argument that “the law” is responsible for their own administration policies like family separation on the border. In reality they’re using their legal defense as a smokescreen to justify their inhumane immigration policies and to increase immigrant detention and deterrence. They assume that if they frame the policy as being, even if there’s no law requiring it, most Americans will follow.

However, legality isn’t equivalent to morality. The US has a long history of glaringly obvious xenophobic legislation and precedent. Numerous policies have excluded particular groups, most prolifically from Asia with their basic purpose to preserve a white homogenous United States. This systematic oppression and exclusion of immigrants has always been legal. Implementing a family separation policy to deter undocumented immigrants arbitrarily tears the sacred bond between parents and children. Such actions are brutal, offensive and abysmally fail to conform to notions of fairness and decency. The United Nations have formally called out the US for violating human rights standards over policy, which has attracted protestors in more than 2 dozen cities and 40 senators calling the administration out on it. With every single US policy like the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance,” we must ask ourselves: What is this policy’s real motivation? How will this affect those targeted? And is it morally just or unjust? If it’s unjust which I strongly believe, then we have a moral responsibility to counteract. And the first thing we must do is vote out whoever is responsible for creating them and their enablers. Immigration policies tearing families apart should never stand since it’s sheer cruelty. So now I ask my fellow Americans, where is your outrage?

The Clear and Present Danger of Donald Trump

In early June, the New York Times reported a 20-page memo written by Donald Trump’s legal team and delivered to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. In it, they make an unusually frank case for a tyrannical interpretation of presidential power. Its key passage is one where Trump’s lawyers argue that there wasn’t anything shady going on when their client fired then FBI Director James Comey. In fact, there isn’t even any potential shenanigans going on because the president is allowed to be as shady as he wants to be while overseeing federal law enforcement. Thus, he can fire anyone he wants as well as shut down the investigation or open up a new one. As they wrote:

“Indeed, the President not only has unfettered statutory and Constitutional authority to terminate the FBI Director, he also has Constitutional authority to direct the Justice Department to open or close an investigation, and, of course, the power to pardon any person before, during, or after an investigation and/or conviction. Put simply, the Constitution leaves no question that the President has exclusive authority over the ultimate conduct and disposition of all criminal investigations and over those executive branch officials responsible for conducting those investigations.”

Essentially all presidents sooner or later will lawyer up to draw up an expansive view of presidential power. But those lawyers usually argue that they’re not making the case for a totally unchecked executive whose existence poses a fundamental threat to American values. But Donald Trump isn’t that kind of president. Instead, they offer a particularly extreme version of the “unitary executive” doctrine that conservative scholars sometimes appeal to especially when there’s a Republican president. This draws upon the notion that the government’s executive branch, including federal police agencies and federal prosecutors are a single entity personified by the president. However, pushing this logic into such terrain not only gives Trump free rein to persecute his enemies which are many, but also nullify the idea there are any enforceable laws at all.

Of course, Richard Nixon once argued that whatever the president does isn’t illegal which is similar to Donald Trump’s legal defense, making him guilty as sin in the Russian meddling case. However, the United States was built on the very concept that nobody is above the law no matter how powerful that person may be, especially the president which is embedded in the US Constitution. So considering what happened at Watergate, I don’t think this defense will fly because that’s just contrary to American values. Yet, such decision isn’t up to me to decide. Furthermore, Trump has always thought himself above the law even before he was president or at least that the laws don’t apply to him. Call it a rich man’s entitlement, but his rationale has nothing to do with the job he currently occupies.

But should the courts think this memo correct, then there would be nothing wrong with Donald Trump setting up a booth somewhere in Washington DC where rich people can hand him checks in exchange for making any legal trouble they have go away. Think of it as a “Trump Hotel” where corrupt CEOs can check in a room with the legal impunity which has plenty of disturbingly unfortunate implications for the American people. Once Trump cuts these rich guys a check, they’ll have free rein to commit bank fraud, dump toxic waste, or whatever else they want to do at poorer Americans’ expense. A mob boss can get the feds off his case. And so could the perps of the next Enron fraud or whatever else. Since Washington DC’s criminal laws all fall under federal jurisdiction, perhaps most egregiously, Trump could have his staff murder the opposition party senators or inconvenient judges and subsequently block any investigation into what’s happening. Sounds despotic?

Of course, the memo notes to an extent that this kind of power to undermine the rule of law already exists with essentially unlimited pardon power. Such power has never been a good idea which has been abused in the past. George H.W. Bush used it to kill the Iran Contra investigation. Bill Clinton used it to win his wife votes in a New York Senate race. Donald Trump has started using the pardon power abusively and capriciously early in his time in office and in a way that’s quite disturbing. But he has yet to try to pardon his way out of the Russian investigation because this power has one crucial check. That the president has to do it in public and we know Trump doesn’t want to arouse suspicion. Thus, the only limit on his pardon power is a political check which is quite real (explaining why Clinton and George H. did their questionable pardons as lame ducks). Not to mention the theory that Trump can simply make whole investigations disappear would eliminate it.

Nonetheless, much of the argument about Donald Trump and the rule of law rather narrowly pertains to the particular case of Comey’s firing and the potential future dismissal of Robert Mueller. Indeed, these are important questions in the sense that an FBI Director is an important person and a special counsel investigation is an important matter. Yet, the memo is a reminder that they offer too specific view can be easily explained. For one, Trump has always believed that due to his wealth and fame, he can and should be able to get away with whatever he wants. As he told Billy Bush in that bus “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” Sure he said this in the context of assaulting women. But he’s also carried that philosophy in regards to running his businesses. Since his list of power abuses and unethical business practices is simply mindboggling and staggering. And I’m sure he sees himself above the law in regards to the presidency as well. Thus, looking at his life, Trump doesn’t see himself above the law because he’s president, but because he’s Trump.

But more importantly, one of government’s main purposes is protecting the weak from exploitation at the hands of the strong by making certain forms of misconduct illegal. Donald Trump’s assertion that he can simply waive away investigations into misconduct over worries that they may end badly for his rich friends and family is toxic to the entire scheme. Like most presidents, Trump has plenty of rich and powerful friends and a much longer list of wealthy and influential people who’d like to be his friends. At any rate, in the most unlikely scenario, if Trump really does have the power to make anyone’s legal troubles go away when he feels like it, we’re all in deep trouble.

Chindogu Made in Japan

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Whenever I do posts on strange gifts or other products for certain things and occasions, I’ll always find weird stuff from Japan. After all, this is a country known for its innovation, especially in fields you really can’t imagine or didn’t think were necessary. Not to mention, it’s a very crazy place. Since you’ll find plenty of outrageous stuff pertaining to this Asian island nation called “the land of the rising sun.” There are articles pertaining to its strange food combinations that would make you barf. There are some stuff on an annual phallus ceremony that you wouldn’t want to take your kids to. Sure, I’m positive every country has some degree of weirdness as I’ve talked about Russia’s playgrounds that seem straight our of horror movies to their clearly photo-shopped wedding photos. But Japan seems more associated with craziness than most countries since they’re quite wealthy, known for innovation and technology, and have some bonkers ideas on how to apply it. Not to mention, they have a penchant for cuteness and bright colors. Sometimes this can go well since the country doesn’t have a lot of landmass and densely populated cities. But sometimes it doesn’t. In fact, the Japanese have a word called Chindogou, which is the Japanese art of inventing gadgets that are seemingly useful but too absurd to use. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasury of crazy products from Japan.

  1. When it pours, best to go out with an umbrella dome.

Now you don’t have to worry about coming in soaking wet again. Though you might receive a lot of attention from onlookers.

2. This Kenzan scalp massager will provide you with sweet relief.

Not sure if I’d want to put that on my head. Those spikes might just mess up my hair if I use it.

3. Take your produce with you in this Wondrous Bra.

Look, there’s no harm in making farming sexy. But I’m not sure if you can easily pull this off.

4. With this zebra crosswalk, you can stop traffic wherever you go.

Though I’m not sure if that’s even necessary. Besides, you can just look both ways to cross. Then again, this might be for city dwellers.

5. Now you can apply lip gloss with these toilet key chain dispensers.

Well, it might serve a practical purpose. But why would you want to get lip gloss from a toilet? That seems gross.

6. These training heels will ease your way to adult footwear.

So they’re just high heels with wheels. I don’t know about you. But I don’t see how walking in high heels is like riding a bike.

7. You will always stun with this Japanese makeup mask.

And by “stun” I mean turn men into granite a la Medusa style. Or receive compliments for your Stepford Wife Halloween costume.

8. Let your kitty relax in this cooling cat bowl.

From Trend Hunter: “The cooling pet product looks like any other bowl, but it’s equipped with refrigerant-like equipment that makes sitting in it far more refreshing than the average pet container. It’s designed to be extremely comfortable and with the recent heatwaves hitting Japan, it’s hardly a surprise that this cooling cat pot is already selling out fast.” Not sure if that’s even necessary.

9. Tone your boobs with this Breast Gymnastics Hand Massager.

Okay, this is kind of disturbing. Not sure if I’d want to use a grabby hand to massage my breasts.

10. These smartphone umbrellas will keep your iPhone dry at the beach.

Well, I guess this could be quite useful. After all, people use their smartphones all the time.

11. Don your fingers with these adorable hedgehog rings.

Hey, I told you about the Japanese obsession with cuteness. Though I’m sure to gag at the opossum ones since they’re ugly.

12. Smooth eye wrinkles with this Eye Recovery Anti-Aging Heating Cooling Gadget.

Yes, I know we all get wrinkles when we live past a certain age. But come on, an eye wrinkle gadget is just a rip off.

13. With this inflatable smartphone holder, you never need to set yours down for a bath.

Man, Japan is really cashing in people’s smartphone addictions. Yet, at least this one goes with a pillow. Though I’m not sure how many people take baths these days.

14. Exercise your lungs with these horns.

You know those horns from birthday parties. Well, Japan has a long one to exercise your lungs. So go ahead and blow your heart out.

15. Keep your skin fresh at to monster mash with these monster masks.

If I want a Halloween mask, I’ll just buy one at a party store. It’s cheaper. Not slather one on my face to keep out black heads and pimples.

16. Anyone could adore these hamburger monster lamps.

Turn it on in the dark, you can see its eyes and teeth. Not sure if it was tested to frighten babies.

17. Smell like a whopper with some Burger King perfume.

I don’t know if I’m like most women. But I don’t find the smell of cheeseburgers sexy. Quite the contrary.

18. Have hours of fun with this Tutti Bako finger game box.

From Incredible Things: “Each stage features something you interact with by poking it. Stick your finger in the box and a digital representation appears on the screen mimicking your motions. From what we can tell the various stages of the game include terrorizing a tiny stick man, poking a girl in the face and flicking a tiny panda.”

19. Nothing spells fun like Hex Bug Robot Cockroaches.

Available in an array of bright colors. Guess this was in an attempt to make these disgusting creatures cute. Not sure if it works.

20. Want to know what’s inside a horse or a fish? Get these Gotichi Dissection animal toys.

From Incredible Things: “The Gotochi Dissection animals display a diagram of the muscles and organs inside of a variety of animals including fish, pigs, cows and even a panda. All the parts are labeled, in Japanese of course. We suppose they could be used as tiny “cheat sheets” in Japanese biology classes, but we can’t figure out any other possible reasons to want one.”

21. Keep your kid’s soul in line with this God Jesus robot.

From Incredible Things: “Because literally everything in Japan is actually a robot… This strange all knowing Japanese toy debuted in the 80’s and answered your questions in a magic 8-ball style. God-Jesus robot only knows what the designers of this toy were thinking when they made it.”

22. Help your little one go to the bathroom with a Shimajiro Toilet Training Tiger.

From Incredible Things: “Maybe it’s us… maybe the way we approach potty training in the US is a bit conservative, but on the other hand Japan seems to have the weirdest approach we could possibly imagine, complete with animated poop and talking toilets. The Shimajiro videos feature an animated tiger struggling with potty training and his animated personified waste. The accompanying toy attaches to the toilet paper roll holder and yells out encouraging phrases while you go.”

23. Keep your skin dewy and healthy with the Panasonic Beauty Premium Booster Mask EH-XM10.

So you can kick back and relax as this mask does the work. Still reminds me of something from a sci-fi movie.

24. Now men can slim their faces with this Germanium Kogao Sauna Mask to avoid plastic surgery.

You mean they have these Hannibal Lecter masks for men? Great for any beauty conscious psychopath with a penchant to serve man. And I don’t mean in the brotherly sense.

25. Your chests will change color when you wear these Frozen bras against each other.

Okay, this is just messed up. Frozen lingerie that changes color when people bump against each other? That’s crazy.

26. Now you can rest your eyes and head while traveling with this King Eye Pillow Mask.

Because when you travel, you got to have a pillow over your eyes. Though I normally don’t have one when I’m sleeping.

27. Make bath time fun with the Chat Tororin Bathing Toy.

From Neatorama: “Do you find yourself wishing you had someone to talk to while you bathe? Now your bath time can be blather time with the Chat Tororin Bathing Toy, a talking buddy for your tub.” Not I’d think that would enhance the bath time experience. But whatever.

28. Show your kids how to brush their teeth with this  Jaws-Kun Puppet for Toothpaste Guidance.

From Neatorama: “Teaching kids how to properly brush their teeth is hard since we don’t have flip top heads, and that set of plastic choppers sitting on your dentist’s desk is downright creepy, so a puppet with a full set of teeth makes sense. But did the final product have to be so creep-tastically adorable? I don’t know if I want to brush its teeth or burn it with fire!”

29. Let your child spend hours of fun at Russian Roulette with Kappa Kick.

Gives your child all the fun of Russia Roulette without the mess and lethality. Yes, it seems to make this kind of deadly action you might see from The Deer Hunter like fun and games.

30. Love cats and got cat allergies? Get this The Yume Neko Venus Robotic Cat.

From Digital Trends: “For those who have cat hair allergies, and don’t mind the cold dead stare of a machine, you’re in luck. The Yume Neko Venus Robotic Cat will give you the sensation of petting a tuft of moving, purring fur with none of the added benefits of owning a real cat whatsoever. No shots required.”

31. Now you can bring a baby doll to tears.

From Digital Trends: “Can’t you imagine the enthusiastic commercial voice over for this toy: ‘Arm puncturing action! Cries real tears! Satisfies your child’s deeply disturbing desire to inflict pain on another being!'”

32. Keep cool at work in this air-conditioned shirt.

Though to be fair, most workplaces already use air conditioning. Though it’s great for wearing when you’re working outdoors.

33. Keep track of your kids with Docotch.

From Lifebuzz: “Docotch – a smart watch specifically for your kids to wear that lets you know where they are at all times along with what condition they may be in.” Whether you’re a free range or helicopter parent, this is for you.

34. Help your feet to a nice hot spring sauna bath with this wooden box.

You can take it anywhere where there’s an outlet. You can even use it near the bed or in the living room.

35. Everyone can use a hand rest now and then.

This is especially the case since the Japanese are known to take naps at work. Yet, this guy seems like he’s relaxing.

36. Finally, you can now print stuff from your iPhone.

I’m sure you didn’t know you need this. Still, you wonder why they don’t make these all the time. Oh, wait, this one only prints in black and white.

37. Keep quiet during shut eye with some snoring tape.

Yes, this is snoring tape which you put on your mouth. Not sure how that works.

38. Know when an earthquake’s coming with this home seismograph.

To be fair, Japan gets a lot of earthquakes, some of which are devastating. Still, if you live in California, this is for you. If I have the money, perhaps I might want to send some of these to my favorite celebrities.

39. With these glasses, you can capture HD camera photos.

So these glasses have tiny cameras on them. Wonder if spies use them or not.

40. Friend Zone tent is the perfect one for a couple who’s not quite willing to cross second base.

From PC Mag: “The Friend Zone Tent is billed as ‘the perfect outdoor accommodation for a couple who might not have reached that intimate stage yet.’ It is said to be super easy to put up and then take down, unlike the actual friend zone.”

41. See the words of your favorite song float with Lyrical Gangster.

From PC Mag: “You might know all the words by heart, but it’s still something to see them float by on the LCD of the Lyric Speaker. You have to be making rock-star money to afford it, though, since it’s $4,000.” Okay, seemed great while it lasted.

42. Hide the sweat in your pits with this Thanko Electric Armpit Clip-On Cooling Fan.

From PC Mag: “If tensions or temperatures get too high, consider the Thanko Electric Armpit Clip-on Cooler Fan, which will save you from unsightly sweat stains.” Still, I’m sure it doesn’t come cheap.

43. Ward off mites with this special futon dryer.

From PC Mag: “Did you know that in Japan people use special futon dryers to ward off mites? WHY DID NO ONE TELL US? How long have you had that futon? Throw it out! Buy a new one. And 1,000 futon dryers. Buy all the futon dryers.”

44. Turn the beat down with a silent karaoke machine.

From PC Mag: “Do you love to karaoke but don’t want anyone to hear you? Wait, what? With the Noiseless Karaoke Mute Mic 2, only you are subjected to your rendition of ‘Natural Woman.'” Still, isn’t the part about having everyone hear your rendition part of the point of karaoke?

45. Tired of hard butter destroying your toast? Try the butter grater.

Since why do you need to grate butter? It’s soft enough to use on bread for God’s sake.

46. If you’re not sure whether it’ll rain or not, take this tie umbrella.

For when you have to walk to the office and keep in mind about the weather. And yes, you can wear it around your neck.

47. Keep your eyes moist with these eye drop funnels.

That way, you won’t have to worry about missing your eyes again. And yes, it looks incredibly ridiculous.

48. If hearing aids can’t do the trick, try these hearing enhancers.

Because how else are you going to hear anything and look like a moron. Seriously, I don’t think anyone would want to be caught dead in these. Still, you can pick up satellite signals from space while phone reception is great, too. Though yelling would make your ears bleed.

49. Keep yourself dry with this rain-proof umbrella.

For those rainy days when you have a nice business suit that you don’t want to get wet. Because if rain isn’t what you need to worry about, it’s those pesky cars running through puddles.

50. Want to know what your ear looks like inside? Try this Ear Explorer.

Of course, you don’t want the inside of your ear to resemble a nativity scene. Cue Radar from M*A*S*H.

51. Relieve stress with this bubble wrap keychain.

That way, you won’t have to worry about popping all the bubble wrap. Fits into any purse for your convenience.

52. This 360 degree camera gives you panoramic shots.

Though you just have to put it on your head and use the controls. I know it’s ridiculous. Seriously, if you want a panoramic shot, there’s software for that.

53. Protect your shoes with a pair of shoe umbrellas.

Because you can’t have your shoes dirty by cars running into puddles. Still, you can always wear galoshes or wear different shoes on the street.

54. Need a friend to scratch your back? This T-Shirt should help.

Just use the card to point to where it hurts. And then have your friend scratch at that spot on your shirt.

55. A mobile toilet paper roll is always there when you need it.

Did I say it goes on your head? Sorry about that. Though this girl uses hers to blow her nose.

56. Fallen asleep on the subway while standing up? Use this chin strap.

Not sure if that’s practical on the subway. But then again, it seems to work for her.

57. With this sound catching pillow, may you always hear the TV when you lie down on the floor.

That way, you don’t have to worry about missing a thing. Still, I don’t think lying down in front of the TV is a big deal, hearingwise.

58. Know when your noodles are hot with Cupmen.

As it cooks, part of it turns white and eventually falls down. I’ve seen a diagram. Still, cup guy kind of reminds me of a pose from Flashdance for some reason.

59. Go green with your smoking with this solar energy cigarette lighter.

It’s just a magnifying glass you hold to the sun to light your cigarette. So you can get all the goodness of a cardiac and respiratory diseases along with an early death.

60. Fall asleep on the subway? Use this public transportation helmet.

Contains a sign telling everyone when they should wake her up. So she doesn’t miss her stop. Includes suction cup for window.

61. If you’re a man and you’re too tired to pee standing up, this knee rest is right for you.

Whether you need to go on the toilet or the urinal, this rest will help you. Yet, they don’t have a similar one for women, I have no idea. Oh, wait, we pee sitting down.

62. With this splash protector, you won’t have to worry about food getting in your hair again.

You wear it around your face to keep your food from splashing. Guess this happens when you’re eating with chopsticks. Not sure about eating with a fork. Though a pony tail holder is just as handy.

63. Count down to the big day with this pre-wedding lingerie.

Not sure why anyone would need this. I mean it’s lingerie. It’s not like anyone would see it. Guess it goes with an Everlast chastity belt.

64. Wear this dress, you won’t need to worry about stranger rape.

Knowing that you’re more likely to be raped by someone you know, I don’t think this disguise will protect you from rape. But the vending machine get up is clever.

65. Why keep a shed when you can have a Swiss Gardening Tool.

Yes, it’s a Japanese invention. But it’s inspired by the Swiss Army knife with garden implements. So hence the name.

66. Cutting your toenails is a breeze with this device.

From Picuno: “How much time have you wasted clipping one toenail at a time? You’ll never get those minutes of your life back. But you don’t have to waste any more. Have you ever clipped your toenails too far and they hurt for like forever? That’s going to happen a lot more now. You may even lose some toe meat. It will be worth it though. You’ll be able to take one more cat nap with the minutes you’ll save over a lifetime.”

67. Wash while you walk with these shoes.

From Picuno: “Wish that your washing machine wasn’t so stationary? Now you can take your laundry on the go. All jokes aside, why on earth would you need this? We’ve all forgotten to do Sunday-night laundry. But what would be the point of washing on your way to work? And how would you dry them? We’re not even going to talk about the fact that there’s only room for underwear in there. These give a whole new meaning to the walk of shame.”

68. You don’t want to mess with these tacked gloves.

From Picuno: “It’s universally human. When we’re bored at work, we put our chins on our fists. This device will make sure you never do that again. If you forget, you’ll get a few friendly spikes to the face. That seems reasonable. We’re actually thinking of giving this to our employees. We’ll definitely make them mandatory. They’ll never doze off during our meetings again. And anyone who does will wear facial scars of shame.”

69. Now they have those denim jean shorts for men.

From Picuno: “We didn’t know there were never-nudes in Japan. This is great news. No one should have to resort to jorts in the shower.
These blue jean underpants promise to chafe like the real thing. You don’t even have to butcher your favorite pair of jeans. Has any one told Dr. Funke about this? We think he’ll be excited. We’re going to wear ours while watching Arrested Development re-runs.”

70. Stretch out those wrinkles with this mouth exerciser.

From Picuno: “No, this is not a photo from a ransom note. It’s a mouth exerciser. It’s for those pesky wrinkles around your mouth. You just cram it in your gob and fight the urge to panic. And then you squeeze on the tube to tighten your…mouth muscles. Try not to think about the fact that you look like a blow-up doll. Laughing with this in your mouth can be dangerous. And you do not want to have to explain yourself to the EMTs.”

71. Want to sleep and make people think you’re awake, try these eyes.

From Picuno: “These are stickers for sleeping at work. On the bright side, your boss won’t think you’re asleep. On the other hand, he may think that you’re a dangerous sociopath. Could you imagine walking by this guy’s desk? “John? John?!” If John’s not careful, he’s going to wake up to a security detail at his desk. Or an EMT. These belong firmly in the bad idea box. Unless you’re going to use them at home. That’ll teach them to wake you up in the morning.”

72. Keep yourself warm with this huggable microwaveable pug.

From List 25: “The super umbrella may protect you from the rain but what are you going to do when it gets cold? Forget blankets, Japan has this adorable pug to heat you up. Stick in the microwave and Voila! Out comes a toasty hot dog.”

73. Don’t go to the bathroom without these toilet shoes.

From List 25: “Japanese are famous for their strict hygiene habits and sanitary precautions so it should come as no surprise they have something like toilet slippers which are used to minimize contact between the unclean toilet floor and the clean floor of rest of the house.”

74. Keep your ass clean with Washlets.

From List 25: “Washlets or, as many people tend to say, “crazy Japanese super toilets” are electric toilet seats with a water spray feature that cleans your bum hole and genitalia. While the Japanese are totally used to this zesty feeling, foreigners getting a shot of water up their butts are usually startled to say the least.”

75. This Barack Obama action figure came with his samurai store.

Man, I miss this guy as our President so much. Luckily he has a katana to slice the Cadet Bone Spurs one apart.

76. Look stylish and block out noise with these ear plug earrings.

From Web Urbanist: “Wearing these earrings might just serve as a warning to those around you that if they start to bore you with their irritating stories or demands that you file those TPS reports right away, you can block them out within seconds.”

77. Reach out for more food with this Extendo Spoon.

From Web Urbanist: “Here’s an invention that’s truly almost useful – can’t you imagine needing something like this when camping, for example? The spoon extends so you can reach the bottom of a tall jar.”

78. Like to wipe off food from your pants. Get napkin pants.

From Web Urbanist: “Since you’re too lazy to use a real napkin anyway, you might as well spare your pants the grease marks and get yourself a pair of classy Napkin Pants.”

79. Get a thumb on things with an Extra Nail.

From Web Urbanist: “You can almost hear an infomercial excitedly telling you that you’ll never break another nail. Need to peel an orange? Open a letter? Pierce someone’s jugular? Why carry around ice picks or letter openers when you can wear a Halloween prop?”

80. Keep your runny nose in check with Booger Keepers.

From Web Urbanist: “Perhaps this is the alternative to the Toilet Roll Hat: plugs for your nostrils.” Kind of resembles a couple of screws inside to me.

81. Keep your hands out of harm’s way with this handy chopper.

From Web Urbanist: “Don’t cut your own fingertips off when you could sacrifice someone else’s.” Let’s hope it’s not from a strangler or a serial killer.

82.  Color Me Shave allows you to shave with any color of cream you want.

Though I’m not sure if a guy would want to shave with hot pink shaving cream. Seems more appropriate on women’s legs.

83. Bleach your asshole with Pinky Wink Butthole Bleach.

From Topick Craze: “Butthole bleach MyPinkWink – This product does not need any explanations. But ‘MyPinkWink’? Seriously, Japan?”

84. Cool yourself outside with a pair of air-conditioned pants.

The kind of pants worn by construction workers. Comes with an air-conditioned jacket.

85. Wear fan glasses so you won’t have to cry when cutting onions.

This pair has fans on it. Sure it might help you cut onions. But will make you seem ridiculous in the kitchen.

86. Save energy with this foot hairdryer.

Unfortunately, you probably won’t get your hair dried in time for work. So you’ll be wearing this thing on the street for onlookers to laugh at.

87. Record your baby’s sound with this womb monitor.

Look, I understand that parents want to record special moments in their kids’ lives. But this is a bit too soon so to speak.

88. Brush your teeth with this finger brush.

So how does brushing your teeth with your finger work exactly? Because I don’t get it.

89. Wake up to a pair of alarm earphones.

You can program it to vibrate whenever you want. Though you’d be hitting the snooze every 5 minutes when it does.

90. It always helps to have a pillow on you at all times.

Sure she might seem like she’s straight from your nightmares. But at least she’ll be comfy.

91. Know what you’ve burned when you need a cab with a Taxi Walker.

From Kick Vick which says it’s, “A device that not only tells you how many calories you burned at the end of your walk but also how much money your journey would have cost in a taxi.”

92. Keep your office supplies in one place in this tie.

That way, you’ll have everything on you. Literally. Still, might weigh you down.

93. This will collect all the rainwater you need.

Consists of a pipe, upside down umbrella, and a large water bottle. Now you can collect water as you walk.

94. Snap a picture in the rain with this camera umbrella.

Seems like the Japanese have an umbrella for everything. Even for cameras and iPhones.

95. Look far in the sun with these long-range sunglasses.

Comes with telescopes you can look through. And yes, people will think you’re crazy wearing these. But you can watch your neighbors in the shower and don’t have to worry about the sunlight blaring.

96. Keep your feet cool with these air-conditioned shoes.

With all these air-conditioned clothing stuff, you’d think the Japanese live in their outfits. Yet, this guy seems happy.

97. Don’t have room to sit on the subway or bus? Use this stool.

Well, you have to sit somewhere. And I can see where a stool like that comes in handy.

98. Guys, keep your money safe in your wallet tie.

That way, nobody will steal your wallet. But you’ll have to change it sometimes.

99. Work out a sweat in this water walker.

I’m sure this doesn’t come cheap. It’s basically a combination between a treadmill and a swimming pool.

100. Use your pee for these urine batteries.

Yes, these are a thing. And no, I’m not making this up. Because this wouldn’t be something I could come up with. And yes, it’s disgusting.

Blood on Shameless Hands

While most of the media was fixated on ABC canceling the Roseanne revival show over its star, on Tuesday, May 29, 2018, the New England Journal of Medicine released a study by Harvard and other institutions suggesting that Hurricane Maria’s ultimate fallout was over 4,600 “excess deaths” Between September 30 and December 31, 2017. This is twice the mortality of Hurricane Katrina and makes Maria the deadliest disaster on US soil for more than a century. The only other US disaster with a higher death toll was the Galveston, Texas hurricane which resulted in 6,000-12,000 people dead. Yet, the real tragedy here is that these deaths were largely due to delayed medical care as well as lack of necessities such as electricity, water, and cellphone service. Nevertheless, this new finding stands in stark contrast to the government official count of 64 which is a gross underestimate that has remained unchanged for months. But the new research validates previous analyses of mortality data and reports from the ground by journalists and other researchers who found the death count well above 1,000.

When Donald Trump visited Puerto Rico nearly 2 weeks after the storm hit on October 3, 2017, the official death count was just 16, compelling him to insist that Puerto Rico wasn’t a “real catastrophe” like Hurricane Katrina. As he said, “Everybody watching can really be very proud of what’s taken place in Puerto Rico.” But since then, multiple media outlets have found evidence of hurricane deaths not included in the official death count. These investigations prompted members of Congress to request an audit of the hurricane deaths and led social science researchers to take a closer look at the data. In December, they published an analysis of mortality data from the Puerto Rico Vital Statistics System to compare the historical death averages for September and October deaths that year. They found that the storm death rate was closer to 1,085 while a New York Times analysis of similar data found the death toll being 1,052.

The latest study shows that even these estimates were very low. This makes sense since these studies relied on the Puerto Rican government which provided an unreliable mortality picture in the months after Hurricane Maria. With George Washington University’s help, the government’s recount of the death toll is still in the works leaving the people of Puerto Rico a long way from closure from Hurricane Maria. Now they’re preparing for the 2018 hurricane season set to begin on June 1, even as thousands of Puerto Ricans are still without power. As disasterologist Samantha Motano tweeted, “We have the technology to see them coming. We know how to mitigate and prepare for disasters. The United States has the money to prevent these deaths. We are choosing not to act.”

To come up with this new estimate, the NEJM researchers surveyed some 3,300 randomly chosen Puerto Rican households in January and February. They asked each one about deaths in their family between September 30 and December 31, 2017 and factors that might’ve contributed to them. They also asked about damage to their homes, whether they were displaced, and if they had access to food, water, healthcare, electricity, and cellphones. The researchers then compared the results with the island’s official death statistics from 2016 and found a 62% increase in the mortality rate in 2017, which added up to an estimated 4,645 deaths linked to Hurricane Maria (ranging from 793 to 8,498 deaths). About 1/3 of these deaths were attributed to delays or interruptions of healthcare, which in many cases was due to widespread power outages across the island for weeks and months after the storm knocked out 80% of the island’s power grid. And they wrote that the total death estimate “is likely to be conservative since subsequent adjustments for survivor bias and household-size distributions increase this estimate to more than 5,000.”

Obviously, a survey like this has its limitations. There’s always some inherent bias in who volunteers to participate and who doesn’t. Not to mention, we have possible bias in people’s memories of events. But it’s certainly the most exhaustive attempts so far to quantify Hurricane Maria’s death toll. And according to Puerto Rican demographer Alexis Santos, the study’s methodology was consistent with how other scholars have tried to measure the death counts as he told Vox, “Under the level of devastation experienced following Hurricane Maria it is very difficult to separate deaths from the environmental or contextual conditions, one may even say that Hurricane Maria impacted all of the deaths that occurred during that period. That is why approaching it through the perspective of excess deaths provides a figure that excludes the deaths that would have happened under normal conditions.”

Puerto Rico’s government has stopped sharing mortality data with the public in December 2017 and refused to provide it to researchers who conducted the study without its help. But the lack of transparency is no surprise since it’s been a key factor in the inaccuracies surrounding Hurricane Maria’s deadly impact. At the same time, Governor Ricardo Rossello ordered a death recount which public health researchers at George Washington University are doing right now and is still underway. But his office did respond to the NEJM report with this statement: “As the world knows, the magnitude of this tragic disaster caused by Hurricane Maria resulted in many fatalities. We have always expected the number to be higher than what was previously reported. That is why we commissioned The George Washington University (GWU) to carry out a thorough study on the number of fatalities caused by Hurricane Maria which will be released soon. Both studies will help us better prepare for future natural disasters and prevent lives from being lost.”

Of course, suspicion will remain for years between Donald Trump’s habit of weaponizing anti-Latino hysteria as his political centerpiece and the unfolding of an essentially unprecedented human tragedy in a Spanish-speaking US territory. Sure we can’t dismiss that Trump and his team simply don’t know what they’re doing. But Hurricane Maria’s impact on Puerto Rico is the only real crisis we’ve had to see Trump wrestle with which has been a total fiasco with a high human cost.

Puerto Rico’s catastrophe has a 3-fold origin. First, the situation is objectively difficult since Hurricane. Maria was a large storm. But before then, Puerto Rico’s infrastructure was shitty and its economic conditions were unfavorable. Second, under Donald Trump’s “leadership,” the federal government wasn’t prepared for the hurricane and failed to properly place supplies and provide full use of military assets. And last, Trump was never willing to admit that the initial response went poorly and try to improve. Being the narcissistic sociopath he is, admitting wrongdoing and taking responsibility isn’t part of who Trump is. Because as far as he’s concerned, such actions are for losers. So instead, he resorted to defensiveness and counterpunching. Last fall, he wasted no time turning a disaster response into a culture war pitting heroic first responders against indolent Puerto Rican officials. On September 30, 2017, he tweeted: “The Mayor of San Juan, who was very complimentary only a few days ago, has now been told by the Democrats that you must be nasty to Trump. …Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They…. …want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort. 10,000 Federal workers now on Island doing a fantastic job.”

Obviously, this didn’t convince any skeptic that Donald Trump was handling the disaster well. More like far from it, in fact. But it did accomplish what Trump is good at while cornered: driving politics back to the baseline question of how you feel about the guy overall. Soon enough, the news cycle moves on. However, this made no difference and is the wrong way to respond to a natural disaster crisis. The recovery itself didn’t move particularly quickly either. On average, Puerto Ricans went 84 days without electricity, 68 days without water, and 41 days without cellphone coverage after Maria. That long-term persistence of lethal conditions is how we ended up with thousands dead from a storm that, by the official count, killed “only” 64 people through direct damage. But that wasn’t on the TV news, so Trump didn’t care. As the study’s authors wrote on the revised death toll, “These numbers will serve as an important independent comparison to official statistics from death-registry data, which are currently being reevaluated and underscore the inattention of the U.S. government to the frail infrastructure of Puerto Rico.”

While Donald Trump and his administration aren’t entirely responsible for the Hurricane Maria disaster. But it will be difficult, perhaps impossible, to assess how much it had to do with the federal government’s indifference or ineffectiveness, how much it was the current Puerto Rican officials’ fault, and how much was the effects of long-term Puerto Rican poverty and structural conditions. In any case, Caribbean assistance and recovery weren’t going to be easy since Maria would’ve been devastating under the best of circumstances. Even so, Trump’s reaction was terrible. He picked fights with local government. And he focused more on congratulating himself than doing something worth bragging about while visiting the island. Worse, he didn’t follow up. Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands simply vanished from his public statements and there’s no reporting to indicate anything was different behind closed doors. There’s no record of FEMA officials or anyone else being summoned to the White House and urged to do more. No evidence of high-level White House coordination of efforts from various agencies involved such as they were. In fact, even the best reporting on the government response shows it was botched from the beginning. As the government went all out to assist Houston, not Puerto Rico.

Donald Trump’s failure to act is extremely important because without presidential involvement, executive branch departments and agencies aren’t likely to mobilize despite that many people involved are professionals who care deeply about doing their jobs well. We’ve seen other times the effects on agencies when they know they have to answer to the president. If a Homeland Security secretary knows she’ll have to make a daily report to the president on what he department did about any acute problem, she’ll make sure she has an answer. And that’s exactly when bureaucrats find solutions for intractable problems. When a president declares something mission accomplished and moved on, then even a disastrous continuing situation slides down the list of priorities. This is especially true for the Puerto Rican people’s urgent needs who don’t have their own congressional representatives to put pressure on those agencies. If the impetus doesn’t come from the president, it’s not going to happen. Thus, the best long-term solution for the island probably is statehood, but that won’t help Puerto Rico right now. Though it would be a fitting consequence of the failure to help these citizens when they needed it the most.

Unlike Barack Obama, Donald Trump was lucky to inherit a stable and improving an economic system thanks to a competent, conventional Federal Reserve policymaking. There have been no domestic terrorist attack or major wars. So we should be grateful for the baseline conditions of peace and prosperity. But where Trump’s tested, he’s failed bigly. In the diplomatic crisis between Qatar and the United Arab Emirates, Donald Trump’s decision making is largely driven by his various corrupt associates’ personal financial interests. He’s left the US isolated on Iran while gaining nothing. He’s focused on the atmospherics of a potential summit with Kim Jong Un on Korea while leaving US allies baffled on who’s making decisions and why. The opioid crisis has apparently gotten worse in 2017 and shows no sign of abating.

The carnage in Puerto Rico illustrates the most severe manifestation of Donald Trump’s presidential unfitness despite being far from the only one. Yet, the media focus on Donald Trump’s various antics has the unfortunate tendency to detract from the basic reality that he doesn’t put in the time or the work to solve problems when that’s really the issue’s core. Put a telegenic demagogue in office, you’ll get some memorable demagogic moments that’ll boost news ratings. But you won’t get an adequate hurricane response, meaning a sky-high death toll as a result. For some Americans, Trump’s constant stream of invective and controversy is just another form of reality television. Except that it’s not unless you’re making comparisons to the Hunger Games, which involved people actually killing each other in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. However, frighteningly so, Trump isn’t a reality TV star anymore but an elected official with real and important responsibilities that he shirks on a regular basis. What he does or doesn’t do has huge practical consequences for all Americans, which will be negative for most of us. And sometimes those consequences are the difference between life and death as what went on with Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria. To hear about the deaths of 4645 people in any disaster would be heartwrenching enough for any president to hear. But Trump doesn’t care and as long as he’s in office our country’s problems won’t get better and more likely exacerbate in the years to come.