Star Wars Merchandise from a Galaxy Far, Far Away

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You may have noticed that I’m on my second part of Nerdvember with Star Wars, despite that Star Wars: The Force Awakens won’t be out until December 18th. As you see, I’ve just finished with Star Wars costumes, mostly showing the fans since it’s more fun that way. Nevertheless, we’re all aware that Star Wars is known to make millions from merchandise sales whether it be toys, costumes, T-shirts, and what have you. I mean if you have a franchise with a fan base like this, you know that people will buy it. And this was the same throughout its history as I’m well aware of. But like all major franchises out there, there are plenty of stuff that might make you scratch your head. Now I’ve seen plenty of this pertaining to Star Wars while I was compiling a blog post on action figures. But unlike the Hunger Games, the Star Wars merchandising only seems to get a tad inappropriate when it pertains to selling Darth Vader stuff for Father’s Day. And even then, most fans wouldn’t mind since there are plenty of dads who bond over Star Wars with their children anyway. But that doesn’t mean that Star Wars merchandising can’t get relatively ridiculous because it certainly can. And it does, even back when they had the Star Wars Holiday Special. Believe me, I’ve looked. I know it doesn’t make sense but don’t ask me. Still, there are a lot of Star Wars products that you wouldn’t think existed. So for your galactic reading pleasure, I give you some crazy merchandise from a galaxy far, far away.

  1. Hope your bathroom is in the spirit of the Force with this Han Solo carbonite toilet seat.
I see a lot of Han Solo in carbonite stuff all the time. But this has to be the most ridiculous by far. Seriously, why would anyone want to sit on that thing?

I see a lot of Han Solo in carbonite stuff all the time. But this has to be the most ridiculous by far. Seriously, why would anyone want to sit on that thing?

2. For the galactic holiday season, keep warm in this Star Wars Christmas sweater.

Because nothing brings in the spirit of Christmas more than having your legs stuck in a Wampa cave on Hoth and dismembering it with a lightsaber. Yeah, how festive.

Because nothing brings in the spirit of Christmas more than having your legs stuck in a Wampa cave on Hoth and dismembering it with a lightsaber. Yeah, how festive.

3. Hold your ear of corn like a Jedi with this lightsaber cob holder.

Yeah, what great way to cause sword fighting at the dinner table. Still, an ear of corn doesn't look as badass as a laser.

Yeah, what great way to cause sword fighting at the dinner table. Still, an ear of corn doesn’t look as badass as a laser.

4. For children, there’s nothing like a game of “hot potato” with a thermal detonator.

Uh, does anyone at Disney have any idea what a thermal detonator is? Well, it's a heat sensitive grenade. Let that sink in.

Uh, does anyone at Disney have any idea what a thermal detonator is? Well, it’s a heat sensitive grenade. Let that sink in.

5. Use the Force for the great outdoors with this Star Wars fish tackle kit.

From GeeksterInk:

From GeeksterInk: “Gimmie a break. Star Wars fishing rods? When I think sci-fi action, I for sure think, “watching my dad pound eleven beers at six a.m. in the middle of mosquito infested farm run off lake.”. For sure.”

6. Enjoy the music from the Dark Side with this Darth Vader CD player.

From Gizmodo:

From Gizmodo: “So let’s get this straight. He commands an army of genetically engineered clone troopers, is capable of building a working lightsabre, and has a super weapon the size of a small moon at his disposal. But this Darth Vader-themed radio can only play CDs and tune in AM or FM stations? Come on, even being able to play WMA files — arguably just as evil as Vader — would have been better than this.”

7. Be a whiz in your kitchen with this R2-D2 spatula.

From Gizmodo:

From Gizmodo: “… at first glance this R2-D2 themed spatula looks like a whimsical addition to your kitchen. But there’s a reason spatulas are made with a boring rounded shape. All the extra details on R2’s silhouette are going to tear your pancakes to shreds when you try to flip them. So we can’t help but wonder if this was actually designed by a Sith who’s laughing at us maniacally from a galaxy far, far away.”

8. Keep warm this December with these Star Wars blends.

Now these consist of Vader's Dark Side Roast, Hoth Cocoa, and Yoda Dagobah Green Tea. Yeah, I know it's pretty ridiculous. But you can't make these things up.

Now these consist of Vader’s Dark Side Roast, Hoth Cocoa, and Yoda Dagobah Green Tea. Yeah, I know it’s pretty ridiculous. But you can’t make these things up.

9. Use the Force on your night with the boys with this Star Wars poker set.

Because nothing says a sci-fi adventure like boozing, losing several hundred bucks, and brawling with your friends. Good times, (not).

Because nothing says a sci-fi adventure like boozing, losing several hundred bucks, and brawling with your friends. Good times, (not).

10. Show your undying love and devotion with this R2-D2 engagement ring.

Call me old-fashioned, but unless you and your girlfriend really like Star Wars, I'd stick with the traditional diamond ring. It's much easier.

Call me old-fashioned, but unless you and your girlfriend really like Star Wars, I’d stick with the traditional diamond ring. It’s much easier.

11. Be a Jedi master in the bathroom with a Millennium Falcon toilet seat and a lightsaber plunger.

Now at least the Millennium Falcon toilet seat is better than Han Solo in carbonite. However, I'm not sure about the lightsaber plunger. That's just hard to take seriously.

Now at least the Millennium Falcon toilet seat is better than Han Solo in carbonite. However, I’m not sure about the lightsaber plunger. That’s just hard to take seriously.

12. For breakfast, wake up in the morning with Han Solo Pop Tarts.

While Han Solo may be frosted in carbonite, these are frosted with chocolate icing. Not sure how I feel about that one.

While Han Solo may be frosted in carbonite, these are frosted with chocolate icing. Not sure how I feel about that one.

13. May the Force be with you and enjoy some Star Wars Giant Lightsaber Pocky Sticks.

This is a candy from Japan. Comes in grape, green tea, and strawberry. Disgusting.

This is a candy from Japan. Comes in grape, green tea, and strawberry. Disgusting.

14. Bring your toast to the Dark Side with this Darth Vader toaster.

Basically burns half your toast with an image of the Sith lord himself. So if you love Star Wars and don't mind that, this is for you.

Basically burns half your toast with an image of the Sith lord himself. So if you love Star Wars and don’t mind that, this is for you.

15. Tempt your Fido to the Dark Side with their own Darth Vader dog dish.

Now with this dog dish, you and Rover can rule the galaxy together. Then again, Rover's probably not going to give a shit on what his dish looks like.

Now with this dog dish, you and Rover can rule the galaxy together. Then again, Rover’s probably not going to give a shit on what his dish looks like.

16. Bring your room to life with this Han Solo in Carbonite woven throw.

From Odyssey:

From Odyssey: “What better way to spruce up a room than Han Solo frozen in carbonite on your bed?” Now that’s a good point, unless you’re Jabba the Hutt.

17. Get comfy around the TV with this Jabba the Hutt beanbag chair.

From Odyssey:

From Odyssey: “Because we all want to fall asleep to a warm hug from this gross, slug-like crime lord of Tattooine.” Seriously, why the hell would anyone think this is a good idea? Jabba the Hutt is disgusting.

18. Store gumballs in this Yoda dispenser using the power of the Force.

Is it just me or do you have to get gumballs from this by pressing Yoda's crotch? I'm just saying some parents might have a problem with that.

Is it just me or do you have to get gumballs from this by pressing Yoda’s crotch? I’m just saying some parents might have a problem with that.

19. Step outside your yard with a pair of R2-D2 crocs.

For God's sake, R2-D2 basically saves everyone's ass in the original trilogy, and this what he gets? Surely the droid deserves more respect than that.

For God’s sake, R2-D2 basically saves everyone’s ass in the original trilogy, and this what he gets? Surely the droid deserves more respect than that.

20. Wake up in the morning with some Kellogg’s C-3PO’s.

Yes, they had this in the 1980s. No, I don't think it's available now. Still, when I think about droids, I don't think about munching on them with their nuts and bolts.

Yes, they had this in the 1980s. No, I don’t think it’s available now. Still, when I think about droids, I don’t think about munching on them with their nuts and bolts.

21. For your intergalactic delicacies, these lightsaber chopsticks will do just nicely.

And if I actually got these, I'd have another way to embarrass myself at an Asian restaurant. How they manage to eat rice with these things, I have no idea.

And if I actually got these, I’d have another way to embarrass myself at an Asian restaurant. How they manage to eat rice with these things, I have no idea.

22. Now you can be your own master with these Jedi and Sith bathrobes.

From Oddee:

From Oddee: “Ever wonder what Jedis wear when they are just lounging around the house? As it turns out, their bathrobes look almost the exact same as their street clothes, only they come in soft terrycloth.”

23. Bake your own dishes with this Space Slug oven mitt.

You know that asteroid creature that ate up the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back? Turns out, the Exogarth's appetite now allots for pizza rolls.

You know that asteroid creature that ate up the Millennium Falcon in The Empire Strikes Back? Turns out, the Exogarth’s appetite now allots for pizza rolls. Just don’t mistake it for a cave.

24. Keep warm out in the woods this season with this Tauntaun sleeping bag.

Now this piece of ridiculous merchandise was created as an April Fool's prank. Makes a lot of sense because I sure wouldn't want to sleep in the entrails of a frozen dead animal.

Now this piece of ridiculous merchandise was created as an April Fool’s prank. Makes a lot of sense because I sure wouldn’t want to sleep in the entrails of a frozen dead animal.

25. Show your disco moves all night long to Meco’s Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk.

From Oddee:

From Oddee: “Sure the Star Wars soundtrack is pretty bumping on its own, but just imagine the complete and total level of awesomeness that occurs when you mix the cantina song with some sweet disco and funk beats.” Seriously, did they have to make disco covers for everything during the 1970s?

26. Keep your fish happy and your home spruced up with your very own R2-D2 fish tank.

From GeeksterInk:

From GeeksterInk: “You know what is probably the last thing a robot wants? A fish tank shoved up his ass.” Think I would agree with that, especially R2-D2.

27. Cook some of your favorite galactic recipes with these Star Wars cookbooks.

And I thought the Hunger Games cookbook was ridiculous but at least that series paid some attention to food. Wonder what kind of recipes are in this one.

And I thought the Hunger Games cookbook was ridiculous but at least that series paid some attention to food. Wonder what kind of recipes are in these two.

28. Put your things in this mesh C-3PO backpack.

You mean the part when he was torn apart that Chewbacca had to carry and put him back together again. Oh, and he put the protocol droid on backwards?

You mean the part when he was torn apart that Chewbacca had to carry and put him back together again. Oh, and he put the protocol droid on backwards?

29. This Darth Vader china plate will always be a splendid addition to your dining room.

Hmmm....for some reason I don't see Darth Vader being surrounded by flowers. Guess I picture him to be a bit on the Dark Side.

Hmmm….for some reason I don’t see Darth Vader being surrounded by flowers. Guess I picture him to be a bit on the Dark Side.

30. When it comes to cleaning car windows during the winter time, this Wampa snow scraper mitt always comes in handy.

Now this one actually might be effective. Still, using a disembodied arm to clear your windshield might freak out your neighbors. And it doesn't help that Luke cut off a Wampa's arm with a lightsaber.

Now this one actually might be effective. Still, using a disembodied arm to clear your windshield might freak out your neighbors. And it doesn’t help that Luke cut off a Wampa’s arm with a lightsaber.

31. Keep snug and warm this winter in these Star Wars adult onesies.

Now these consist of Stormtrooper, Boba Fett, Darth Vader, and a Rebel Fighter. I don't know about you, but there's just something wrong with adult men wearing something you'd normally see on babies.

Now these consist of Stormtrooper, Boba Fett, Darth Vader, and a Rebel Fighter. I don’t know about you, but there’s just something wrong with adult men wearing something you’d normally see on babies.

32. Freshen your breath and feel the Force with Minti-Chlorians.

Yes, let the Force take care of your breath with minty freshness. Still, this is pretty hilarious.

Yes, let the Force take care of your breath with minty freshness. Still, this is pretty hilarious.

33. Serve beer to your galactic friends with this R2-D2 beer keg.

Okay, R2-D2 is one of the most useful and resilient droids in the galaxy. And yet, he's basically used as a beer keg to a bunch of frat boys. Something's wrong with that.

Okay, R2-D2 is one of the most useful and resilient droids in the galaxy. And yet, he’s basically used as a beer keg to a bunch of frat boys. Something’s wrong with that.

34. Speaking of beer? Keep it chilled in your very own Han Solo in carbonite minifridge.

That way, your beer will be as fresh as Han Solo was when he was thawed out. Then again, this is just crazy for some reason.

That way, your beer will be as fresh as Han Solo was when he was thawed out. That way, you’ll always be ready for some galactic drinking games. Fortunately, it doesn’t induce hibernation sickness.

35. On a cold day, you can always warm yourself up with some Star Wars Campbell’s soup.

Now I'm sure eating these soups will put you squarely on the salty side of the Force. Because Campbell's Hmmm....salt.

Now I’m sure eating these soups will put you squarely on the salty side of the Force. Because Campbell’s Hmmm….salt.

36. This Christmas celebrate the season in full Star Wars glory with Christmas in the Stars.

Seriously? Star Wars had a Christmas album? Do they even celebrate Christmas in that galaxy? And yet, you see C-3PO and R2-D2 in Santa's workshop.

Seriously? Star Wars had a Christmas album? Do they even celebrate Christmas in that galaxy? And yet, you see C-3PO and R2-D2 in Santa’s workshop.

37. Be the best smelling nerfherder in the galaxy with Eau Lando Colonge and Slave Leia Perfume.

Not sure if the Star Wars saga is a great franchise to have its own perfume line. Still, love how they accessorize the bottles.

Not sure if the Star Wars saga is a great franchise to have its own perfume line. Still, love how they accessorize the bottles.

38. Become the beauty of the galaxy with the Cover Girl Star Wars Collection line. Which side will you choose?

Guess the Cover Girl Hunger Games campaign was successful. Still, this is just crazy. So now you want nerds to use your products.

Guess the Cover Girl Hunger Games campaign was successful. Still, this is just crazy. So now you want nerds to use your products. Nice.

39. Choose your own side of the Force with a Darth Vader or Jedi Burger.

This was an ad campaign from a French burger chain for Episode I in 1999. Still, while one will give you green poop, both will give you coronaries.

This was an ad campaign from a French burger chain for Episode I in 1999. Still, while one will give you green poop, both will give you coronaries.

40. Use the Force to patch up some broken pipes with some Star Wars duck tape.

The adhesive Force is strong with this one. Will certainly make you the most handy Jedi in the galaxy.

The adhesive Force is strong with this one. Will certainly make you the most handy Jedi in the galaxy.

41. Help your little one’s sleep with this C-3PO nightlight.

Because nothing gets a child to sleep than C-3PO's soulless, lit-up face. Odds of successfully navigating a good night's sleep with this are 3,720 to 1.

Because nothing gets a child to sleep than C-3PO’s soulless, lit-up, and disembodied face. Odds of successfully navigating a good night’s sleep with this are 3,720 to 1.

42. Spice up your love life with your very own Chewbacca gimp suit.

If you're an avid Star Wars fan who's into BDSM and/or Furries, this might be for you. Still, at least they don't have a gimp suit of Finnick Odair. Now that would be bad.

If you’re an avid Star Wars fan who’s into BDSM and/or Furries, this might be for you. Still, at least they don’t have a gimp suit of Finnick Odair. Now that would be bad.

43. Decorate your tree this Christmas with an ornament depicting the showdown at the Cantina.

Because nothing says Christmas like a smuggler shooting a bounty hunter in the middle of a crowded Cantina full of dirtbags. Yeah, maybe

Because nothing says Christmas like a smuggler shooting a bounty hunter in the middle of a crowded Cantina full of dirtbags. Yeah, maybe “Han shoots first” is not an appropriate Christmas slogan.

44. Decorate your bathroom in the Star Wars spirit with It’s a Crap! toilet cover.

From GeeksterInk:

From GeeksterInk: “Admiral Ackbar’s famous line, “It’s a trap!” lovingly rendered into a toilet pun that allows you to shit into a Star Wars character’s mouth.” Seriously, Admiral Ackbar deserves more respect and dignity than this.

45. Decorate your bedroom in the Force with these lightsaber lava lamps.

Now this might make people think that you're on the trippier side of the Force. Also, might lead some suspect that you have weed, if your place smells bad enough.

Now this might make people think that you’re on the trippier side of the Force. Also, might lead some suspect that you have weed, if your place smells bad enough.

46. Preserve your food with this Han Solo in carbonite refrigerator.

Now this is guaranteed to preserve your food for a long time like carbonite preserved Han Solo. But this is without the hibernation sickness after thaw.

Now this is guaranteed to preserve your food for a long time like carbonite preserved Han Solo. But this is without the hibernation sickness after thaw.

47. Send your letter in snail mail with these Star Wars stamps.

Now these are only available in Great Britain. Features some new characters as well as some of the old classics.

Now these are only available in Great Britain. Features some new characters as well as some of the old classics.

48. Keep dry with this lightsaber umbrella.

Not sure what to think about this. To me, I don't think you're supposed to have a lightsaber umbrella. Probably because I've seen people dismembered by them in the Star Wars movies.

Not sure what to think about this. To me, I don’t think you’re supposed to have a lightsaber umbrella. Probably because I’ve seen people dismembered by them in the Star Wars movies.

49. Make your work space better with your very own Han Solo in carbonite desk.

Also can be used to intimidate underlings as a reminder of what would happen to them if they don't cater to your wishes. Yeah, wouldn't want to mess with anyone who owns a desk like this.

Also can be used to intimidate underlings as a reminder of what would happen to them if they don’t cater to your wishes. Yeah, wouldn’t want to mess with anyone who owns a desk like this.

50. Turn lights on and off with your very own Han Solo in carbonite light switch.

Now you can switch lights on and off by flipping the lever on Han Solo's crotch. Seriously, does anyone see what's wrong with this? I mean did the designers think this through?

Now you can switch lights on and off by flipping the lever on Han Solo’s dick. Seriously, does anyone see what’s wrong with this? I mean did the designers think this through?

51. Step out into the theaters this December in a pair of lightsaber high heeled shoes.

Still, given the chance that there will be icy roads and snow on the ground, I wouldn't recommend women wear these. Seriously, you might want to opt for something more comfortable.

Still, given the chance that there will be icy roads and snow on the ground, I wouldn’t recommend women wear these. Seriously, you might want to opt for something more comfortable.

52. Now you can decipher R2-D2’s speech with How to Speak Droid with R2-D2.

Yes, R2-D2 speaks in beeps but is this really necessary? I mean he's not that hard to understand since he communicates with the other characters just fine.

Yes, R2-D2 speaks in beeps but is this really necessary? I mean he’s not that hard to understand since he communicates with the other characters just fine.

53. Celebrate this Christmas on the Dark Side with your very own Darth Vader Christmas inflatable.

Because nothing personifies the spirit of Christmas like a Sith Lord who force chokes his underlings, blows up his daughter's planet, and cuts off his son's hand. Yes, true Christmas spirit, indeed.

Because nothing personifies the spirit of Christmas like a Sith Lord who force chokes his underlings, blows up his daughter’s planet, and cuts off his son’s hand. Yes, true Christmas spirit, indeed.

54. Sleep tight like Han Solo in this Millennium Falcon bed.

From QZ:

From QZ: “For $4,000, your child can sleep in a crib shaped like the cockpit of Han Solo’s ship, complete with painted-on dials and levers. It’s unlikely to be able to do the Kessel Run, but it’s perfect for sleepy children with no imagination.”

55. Now you can play dirty galactic strip poker with the Ladies of Star Wars playing card deck.

Okay, how many women in Star Wars are there. Certainly, there aren't a lot with speaking roles. Will probably mostly consist of minor characters or examples of Padme Amidala's unlimited wardrobe.

Okay, how many women in Star Wars are there. Certainly, there aren’t a lot with speaking roles. Will probably mostly consist of minor characters or examples of Padme Amidala’s unlimited wardrobe.

56. Use the Force to open a pint a beer with your very own lightsaber bottle opener.

Sure it may be handy. But I don't know if carrying it around with you will make you a darling at the Star Wars convention.

Sure it may be handy. But I don’t know if carrying it around with you will make you a darling at the Star Wars convention.

57. Make it happy hour in your galaxy Cantina with this Star Wars pewter bar ware set.

Now these consist of Darth Vader, Yoda, C-3PO, and R2-D2. Still, wouldn't trust a drunk person with the C-3PO knife or the Darth Vader corkscrew.

Now these consist of Darth Vader, Yoda, C-3PO, and R2-D2. Still, wouldn’t trust a drunk person with the C-3PO knife or the Darth Vader corkscrew.

58. Once they pop, the fun won’t stop with these Star Wars Pringles.

Comes in Chewbacca Cheddar Cheese, Skywalker Sour Cream and Onion, Han Solo Salt and Vineger, Boba Fett BBQ, and Darth Vader Original. Yes, I'm just as baffled as you are.

Comes in Chewbacca Cheddar Cheese, Skywalker Sour Cream and Onion, Han Solo Salt and Vineger, Boba Fett BBQ, and Darth Vader Original. Yes, I’m just as baffled as you are.

59. Grace your bathroom with this Star Wars: The Force Awakens shower curtain.

From QZ:

From QZ: “Was a regular wall poster of the film you haven’t even seen yet just not cutting it? How about a shower curtain? For $20 you can be greeted by a cast of characters who currently mean nothing to you, every time you use the bathroom.”

60. If you love Star Wars, then play Operation with R2-D2.

You know because R2-D2 tends to be a stubborn little droid that has all kinds of shit happen to him. Yeah, saving everyone's ass is bound to get you busted a few times.

You know because R2-D2 tends to be a stubborn and adventurous little droid that has all kinds of shit happen to him. Yeah, saving everyone’s ass is bound to get you busted a few times.

61. Bottoms up with your very own R2-D2 hip flask.

Hmm...so they have Star Wars hip flasks you can get drunk on or sneak alcohol in. Interesting. Might mean that AA and rehab could be your only hope.

Hmm…so they have Star Wars hip flasks you can get drunk on or sneak alcohol in. Interesting. Might mean that AA and rehab could be your only hope.

62. Give your frog the Star Wars treatment with this Dagobah Frog Habitat.

I'm sure pet frogs everywhere will love hanging around Yoda's planet. Then again, I don't think your frog gives a shit about Star Wars.

I’m sure pet frogs everywhere will love hanging around Yoda’s planet. Then again, I don’t think your frog gives a shit about Star Wars.

63. Study ants with the Force with your very own Felucia Ant Farm.

From Huffington Post:

From Huffington Post: “Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an ant farm is approximately 3,720 to 1.” Also, the odds of buying one are similar as well.

64. Now you can be the grill meister of the galaxy with your very own Death Star grill.

Now this product does exist as I've looked on Ebay. However, this might be an idealized computer representation. But you see why it's funny.

Now this product does exist as I’ve looked on Ebay. However, this might be an idealized computer representation. But you see why it’s funny.

65. Now your cat can enjoy the Star Wars franchise with these Star Wars catnip toys from Petco.

These consist of Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Yoda, and a Stormtrooper. And they look like rats. Lovely.

These consist of Chewbacca, Darth Vader, Yoda, and a Stormtrooper. And they look like rats. Lovely.

66. Have lots of fun in the spud galaxy with none other than a Star Wars Mr. Potato Head.

This one is Darth Tater. They also have one of Chewbacca and R2-D2, but they didn't seem as iconic.

This one is Darth Tater. They also have one of Chewbacca, Yoda, and R2-D2, but they didn’t seem as iconic.

67. The Force is strong with this Star Wars self-stirring mug.

Wonder what it's like drinking something from a self-stirring mug. Maybe I don't want to find out. Still, the slogan seems appropriate.

Wonder what it’s like drinking something from a self-stirring mug. Maybe I don’t want to find out. Still, the slogan seems appropriate.

68. Speaking of coffee, stir it with the Force this year with some Nestle Coffee Mate.

Now these seem to consist of R2-D2 French Vanilla, Chewbacca Spiced Latte, C-3PO Hazelnut, Boba Fett Italian Creme, and Darth Vader Espresso Chocolate. Yeah, I don't think

Now these seem to consist of R2-D2 French Vanilla, Chewbacca Spiced Latte, C-3PO Hazelnut, Boba Fett Italian Creme, and Darth Vader Espresso Chocolate. Yeah, I don’t think “Italian Creme” best describes Boba Fett either. But I didn’t come with these. So don’t blame me.

69. Use the power of the Dark with these Star Wars golf bags.

Of course, if you're Darth Vader's caddy, God help you. Seriously, caddying for that guy runs a serious risk of being force choked if he has a terrible game.

Of course, if you’re Darth Vader’s caddy, God help you. Seriously, caddying for that guy runs a serious risk of being force choked if he has a terrible game.

70. Be a Jedi grill master on the barbecue with a pair of lightsaber barbecue tongs.

I can imagine this conversation. Obi Wan: “Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.” Luke: “What is it?” Obi Wan: “Your father’s lightsaber tongs. This is the utensil of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a spatula. An elegant utensil, for a more civilized age.”

I can imagine this conversation. From QZ:
Obi Wan: “Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.”
Luke: “What is it?”
Obi Wan: “Your father’s lightsaber tongs. This is the utensil of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a spatula. An elegant utensil, for a more civilized age.”

71. Roast your Rebel Alliance burgers on your very own R2-D2 smoker grill.

Now this looks like a big grill with plenty of room for fuel. Is this gas or charcoal? Still, like the wheels.

Now this looks like a big grill with plenty of room for fuel. Is this gas or charcoal? Still, like the wheels.

72. For your office paper tears, this C-3PO tape dispenser is at your disposal.

Now I know that C-3PO has nothing down there, genital wise. Nevertheless, this is one of the most vulgar scotch tape dispenser I've ever seen.

Now I know that C-3PO has nothing down there, genital wise. Nevertheless, this is one of the most vulgar scotch tape dispenser I’ve ever seen.

73. Now you can ask Jedi Master Yoda a question with this.

And if you want to know the answer, just shake him and look under his but. Just do that. There is no try.

And if you want to know the answer, just shake him and look under his butt. Works like one of those magic 8 ball things. Just do that. There is no try.

74. Fasten your seatbelts and in case you need to vomit, feel free to spew into these lightsaber barf bags.

These were used by Virgin Airlines to promote one of the prequels. Yeah, I know it's ridiculous, but I didn't come up the idea. So don't blame me for it.

These were used by Virgin Airlines to promote one of the prequels. Yeah, I know it’s ridiculous, but I didn’t come up the idea. So don’t blame me for it.

75. If you liked Episode I, then you’ll certainly enjoy this Jar Jar Binks candy tongue.

As if anyone would fantasize French kissing Jar Jar Binks, who's one of the most obnoxious and annoying characters in the franchise. From GeeksterInk:

As if anyone would fantasize French kissing Jar Jar Binks, who’s one of the most obnoxious and annoying characters in the franchise. For me, that’s a nightmare scenario. Who the hell thought this was good idea ought to be filled with shame by now. From GeeksterInk: “Great idea. As if people didn’t hate Jar-Jar enough after The Phantom Menace, now he’s making children suck his tongue? Not on my watch.”

76. Spread the Christmas spirit this year with these Star Wars nutcrackers.

Now these consist of Darth Vader, R2-D2, Yoda, regular Stormtrooper, and Christmas Stormtrooper. Christmas Stormtrooper is wearing a Santa hat and carries a candy cane.

Now these consist of Darth Vader, R2-D2, Yoda, regular Stormtrooper, and Christmas Stormtrooper. Christmas Stormtrooper is wearing a Santa hat and carries a candy cane.

77. Make your Star Wars marathon a pizza party with this talking R2-D2 pizza cutter.

Cuts your pizza while giving R2-D2's signature beeps and blips. Yeah, I don't know why they thought this was a good idea either.

Cuts your pizza while giving R2-D2’s signature beeps and blips. Yeah, I don’t know why they thought this was a good idea either.

78. Make bath time so much fun with these Pond Wars rubber ducks.

From Oddee: "There's nothing quite as relaxing as a nice long bath, unless that bath happens to be the center for an intergalactic war between the ultimate evil republic and the freedom fighting rebels. Did I mention these guys glow in multiple colors thanks to sweet LED lights?" At least they don't have rubber ducks of Hunger Games characters....yet.

From Oddee: “There’s nothing quite as relaxing as a nice long bath, unless that bath happens to be the center for an intergalactic war between the ultimate evil republic and the freedom fighting rebels. Did I mention these guys glow in multiple colors thanks to sweet LED lights?” At least they don’t have rubber ducks of Hunger Games characters….yet.

79. Cool off this summer with one of these Star Wars misters.

From Gizmodo: "Probably invented before the days of MovieTickets.com when sweaty fanboys had to line up in the sweltering summer heat to actually buy tickets at the box office, these handheld misters provide a refreshing blast of mist with every pump. Now we can understand why Yoda would be coming to your aide on a hot day, but Vader and Boba Fett? It seems highly unlikely. They're more likely to let you die of heat stroke and then feed your corpse to a Rankor for fun."

From Gizmodo: “Probably invented before the days of MovieTickets.com when sweaty fanboys had to line up in the sweltering summer heat to actually buy tickets at the box office, these handheld misters provide a refreshing blast of mist with every pump. Now we can understand why Yoda would be coming to your aide on a hot day, but Vader and Boba Fett? It seems highly unlikely. They’re more likely to let you die of heat stroke and then feed your corpse to a Rankor for fun.”

80. If you love Star Wars and classic horror movies, then you’ll find these Star Wars monster bobbleheads a scream.

Because one of the most menacing movie villains of all time can't be scary enough without being mashed with Frankenstein's monster. Also has Yoda as a zombie and Chewbacca as a werewolf.

Because one of the most menacing movie villains of all time can’t be scary enough without being mashed with Frankenstein’s monster. Also has Yoda as a zombie and Chewbacca as a werewolf.

81. Feel the Dark Side of the Force with this one of a kind collectible Star Wars watch.

Now that's a massive wrist watch inspired by Darth Vader and his Imperial fighters. It's a limited edition in Britain and said to cost $28,500. You're better off buying a car with that money.

Now that’s a massive wrist watch inspired by Darth Vader and his Imperial fighters. It’s a limited edition in Britain and said to cost $28,500. You’re better off buying a car with that money.

82. Keep your possessions safe with this interactive R2-D2 money bank.

Courtesy of Apple. Requires iPhone activation. Not sure if I'd keep my keys and credit cards in there.

Courtesy of Apple. Requires iPhone activation. Not sure if I’d keep my keys and credit cards in there.

83. For your Star Wars marathons, watch these movies in this customized home theater.

Now I like Star Wars since it has a great story and characters. But still, I think this is just going way too far. Yeah, that's ridiculous, all right.

Now I like Star Wars since it has a great story and characters. But still, I think this is just going way too far. Yeah, that’s ridiculous, all right.

84. Keep warm this winter with this one of a kind R2-D2 wood stove.

Because if there's anything that hurts a droid it's having to deal with being fired upon. Now someone thought it was good idea to set his insides in flames. Nice.

Because if there’s anything that hurts a droid it’s having to deal with being fired upon. Now someone thought it was good idea to set his insides in flames. Nice.

85. Those who think gnomes are too earthbound will certainly love this Jawa lawn ornament.

Okay, I don't quite see Jawa as the gardening sort. For one, they inhabit Tattooine, a desert planet. Second, don't they kidnap droids and sell them?

Okay, I don’t quite see Jawa as the gardening sort. For one, they inhabit Tattooine, a desert planet. Second, don’t they kidnap droids and sell them?

86. Keep your desk tidy with this Darth Vader pencil holder.

Yes, stick your pens in to Anakin Skywalker's brain. Still, Games Radar says it looks kind of like an S&M hedgehog.

Yes, stick your pens in to Anakin Skywalker’s brain. Still, Games Radar says it looks kind of like an S&M hedgehog.

87. Keep your TV antennas in place with the Dark Side with this Darth Vader antenna topper.

Of course, now that we have switched to digital, this item is now rendered obsolete. Still, would you want Darth Vader's head on your TV? Not me.

Of course, now that we have switched to digital, this item is now rendered obsolete. Still, would you want Darth Vader’s head on your TV? Not me.

88. Set the evening atmosphere to your liking with this Darth Vader mood light.

From Entertainment Unlimited: "Love is in the air. And what better to spread the atmosphere of mushy love; a Darth Vader Mood Light! A perfect ‘Force’ to bring in intimacy and increase sexual desire. Bloody, red eyes on the disembodied head of Darth Vader staring back at you and your partner, while you both do your thing. It’s positively terrifying and nothing close to being romantic. Unless, of course, you are a fan of Jack, The Ripper."

From Entertainment Unlimited: “Love is in the air. And what better to spread the atmosphere of mushy love; a Darth Vader Mood Light! A perfect ‘Force’ to bring in intimacy and increase sexual desire. Bloody, red eyes on the disembodied head of Darth Vader staring back at you and your partner, while you both do your thing. It’s positively terrifying and nothing close to being romantic. Unless, of course, you are a fan of Jack, The Ripper.”

89. Now you can listen to your favorite Imperial Empire soundtrack with this Death Star Bluetooth speaker.

Of course, it might be appropriate when I'm playing Star Wars soundtrack. But when I'm playing music by Billy Joel, not so much.

Of course, it might be appropriate when I’m playing Star Wars soundtrack. But when I’m playing music by Billy Joel, not so much.

90. Dispose your garbage in your very own R2-D2 trash bin.

Yeah, this might be a good idea. But then again, I don't think R2-D2 would appreciate having you throw stuff away into his body. That's not what an R2 unit does.

Yeah, this might be a good idea. But then again, I don’t think R2-D2 would appreciate having you throw stuff away into his body. That’s not what an R2 unit does.

91. Spread holiday cheer this Christmas with this Darth Vader figurine of him in a Santa hat and red cape.

Apparently, Lord Vader finds your lack of Christmas cheer disturbing. Of course, he should give it a break since it's November for Christ's sake.

Apparently, Lord Vader finds your lack of Christmas cheer disturbing. Of course, he should give it a break since it’s November for Christ’s sake.

92. Make R2-D2 your beer butler with this R2-D2 moving beer fridge.

Yes, have R2-D2 keep beer cold for you. Even when he has other things on his mind like saving his friends from Darth Vader.

Yes, have R2-D2 keep beer cold for you. Even when he has other things on his mind like saving his friends from Darth Vader.

93. Cook delicious recipes with the Force with your very own R2-D2 measuring cup set.

Disassembles into 4 cups and 4 measuring spoons. You can also reassemble it after you've washed them. Still, not sure what to think about this.

Disassembles into 4 cups and 4 measuring spoons. You can also reassemble it after you’ve washed them. Still, not sure what to think about this.

94. Use the Force to roll your smokes with these lightsaber rolling papers.

I suppose that these would be a hit for the Star Wars fans living in Colorado where pot's legal. Sure to make any pothead feel like a Jedi.

I suppose that these would be a hit for the Star Wars fans living in Colorado where pot’s legal. Sure to make any pothead feel like a Jedi.

95. For those Star Wars football fans, this R2-D2 pigskin might just strike your fancy.

Sure there may be Star Wars fans who like football. But does that mean an R2-D2 football is a good idea? I kind of beg to differ.

Sure there may be Star Wars fans who like football. But does that mean an R2-D2 football is a good idea? I kind of beg to differ.

96. Step in stride with a pair of your very own furry Chewbacca crocs.

Now R2-D2 crocs are one thing. But these, seriously, I have no idea what the designer was thinking. Besides, the fur just makes these look worse.

Now R2-D2 crocs are one thing. But these, seriously, I have no idea what the designer was thinking. Besides, the fur just makes these look worse.

97. Curl up on your living room floor with this furry Chewbacca skin rug.

From CNET: "On the surface, this Chewbacca rug looks cozy and fun. You just want to lay on it and dream about taking out the Death Star. But let's look closer. To make this rug, someone would have to skin a Wookiee, poach its bandolier and then have the gumption to display it in a home, flaunting the horrifying act." Doesn't help that the girl in this picture is dressed as Princess Leia.

From CNET: “On the surface, this Chewbacca rug looks cozy and fun. You just want to lay on it and dream about taking out the Death Star. But let’s look closer. To make this rug, someone would have to skin a Wookiee, poach its bandolier and then have the gumption to display it in a home, flaunting the horrifying act.” Doesn’t help that the girl in this picture is dressed as Princess Leia.

98. Make a Star Wars fashion statement with these Han Solo in carbonite rings.

I don't know but you. But there's just something a bit insensitive about wearing a frozen guy on your finger. I'm not sure what it is.

I don’t know but you. But there’s just something a bit insensitive about wearing a frozen guy on your finger. I’m not sure what it is.

99. That’s no moon. That’s a Death Star tea infuser.

The ad for this says: "Have a cup now and worry about the thermal exhaust port later." As if the rebels are going to blow it up and kill everyone inside it. Oh, they did.

The ad for this says: “Have a cup now and worry about the thermal exhaust port later.” As if the rebels are going to blow it up and kill everyone inside it. Oh, they did.

100. Keep your kitchen knives neatly arranged with this Rebel X-Wing knife block.

Yes, chop veggies knowing that your X-Wing knife block can destroy the Death Star if need be. Comes with 5 stainless steel knives. Still, I think the blade direction on this might pose a hazard for children.

Yes, chop veggies knowing that your X-Wing knife block can destroy the Death Star if need be. Comes with 5 stainless steel knives. Still, I think the blade direction on this might pose a hazard for children.

May the Force Be with You Dressed in These Magnificent Star Wars Costumes

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A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far, a movie called Star Wars debuted on the big screen and has changed how science fiction movies have been made ever since. Inspired by Akira Kurosawa’s The Hidden Fortress (which creator George Lucas has acknowledged, by the way), this franchise is now a beloved institution for nerds everywhere featuring intergalactic battles, Jedi knights, droids, aliens, an evil empire, the Force, as well as the classic struggle between good and evil. Now 2 good sequels, 3 mediocre prequels, nearly 40 years, and millions of dollars in merchandise later, the Star Wars franchise has been enjoyed by generations of fans of all ages. You might see this by the sheer numbers of Star Wars stuff you see on the internet. And in December 18th, Star Wars: The Force Awakens will be released in theaters, that will reunite at least 3 members from the original cast. You might be asking as to why the hell I’m doing posts on Star Wars in early November when the new movie won’t be out for another month. Well, I can explain. For one, the new Star Wars movie will be out at a time when I’ll be busy with my Christmas posts. Doing posts on Star Wars now will get it out of the way. Second, I’ve already said I’d do Star Wars posts after I was done with the Hunger Games so I might as well stick to it. Third, Star Wars has millions of fans all over the world so doing posts on the franchise to cash in is a good way to get more views between Halloween and Thanksgiving. And finally, doing Star Wars posts early gives people plenty of time to see them. So there.

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Unsurprisingly, Star Wars does have a lot of fans who like to dress up for occasions like movie premieres, conventions, cosplay, and Halloween. And yes, the movies do have tons of costumes as well, particularly when you’re talking about Padme Amidala’s wardrobe in the prequel series, which would make her the undisputed fashion queen of the franchise. This is why I open with pictures of her. At any convention you’re bound to see people dress as Star Wars characters like Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Darth Vader, Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2-D2, Boba Fett, Yoda, Lando Calrissian, Obi Wan Kenobi, and others. But you’d also see people dress up as minor alien characters, minor droids, clones, Imperial Stormtroopers, Jawa, Rebel pilots, fighter craft, the Death Star, and more. Some may even have costume combinations like Princess Vader or Steampunk. And yes, you see people of all ages and sometimes entire families in Star Wars apparel. Some of these costumes may be bought. Others were created by the fans themselves. So for your reading pleasure, here is a treasure trove of the many Star Wars fan costumes that you might see on December 18th. May the Force be with you. Always.

  1. Sometimes even Imperial Stormtroopers need a day off now and then.
Nothing like seeing a couple of Stormtroopers walking their dogs on a quiet afternoon. Of course, I didn't know they wore any accessories on their uniforms.

Nothing like seeing a couple of Stormtroopers walking their dogs on a quiet afternoon. Of course, I didn’t know they wore any accessories on their uniforms.

2. Luke Skywalker is just as good with a lightsaber as he is with a blaster.

Of course, both take two hands to operate. One of which Darth Vader cuts off before he tells Luke that he's his father.

Of course, both take two hands to operate. One of which Darth Vader cuts off before he tells Luke that he’s his father.

3. As Star Wars taught all of us, a girl’s best friend is her R2 unit.

Because if Princess Leia didn't have R2 D2 to send a message to Obi Wan Kenobi, she'd be dead. Still, this picture is so precious.

Because if Princess Leia didn’t have R2-D2 to send a message to Obi Wan Kenobi, she’d be dead. Still, this picture is so precious.

4. Of course, you can’t have a Star Wars convention without Boba Fett, even if his armor is a little rusty.

Now this was a DIY costume but looks almost like the real thing. Well, minus the jetpack at least.

Now this was a DIY costume but looks almost like the real thing. Well, minus the jetpack at least.

5. Some droids costumes are easier to make than others.

Now this droid costume was made from stuff you'd find at a hardware store. Not sure what kind of droid it's supposed to be.

Now this droid costume was made from stuff you’d find at a hardware store. Not sure what kind of droid it’s supposed to be.

6. If you dress in the iconic Princess Leia outfit, make sure your hair looks like cnnabuns.

Yeah, the Princess Leia hairstyle might be the hardest part of that costume. Then again, it might be a wig.

Yeah, the Princess Leia hairstyle might be the hardest part of that costume. Then again, it might be a wig.

7. Look like a sunrise in this Padme costume from Episode II.

Yes, I know the love scenes in that movie were essential. But still, could've they just Anikan with an actor Natalie Portman could actually have chemistry with?

Yes, I know the love scenes in that movie were essential. But still, could’ve they just Anakin Skywalker with an actor Natalie Portman could actually have chemistry with?

8. Anyone can get into the Star Wars cosplay action, even the pets.

Let's see the humans are Chewbacca and Princess Leia. The dogs are Darth Vader, an Ewok, R2-D2, and possibly Obi Wan Kenobi.

Let’s see the humans are Chewbacca and Princess Leia. The dogs are Darth Vader, an Ewok, R2-D2, and possibly Obi Wan Kenobi.

9. When it comes to small children, you can always dress them as Ewoks.

Yes, I know Ewoks aren't well liked by some of the fans. But come on, this costume seemed quite easy to make. Not sure if I'd want the kid holding a spear though.

Yes, I know Ewoks aren’t well liked by some of the fans. But come on, this costume seemed quite easy to make. Not sure if I’d want the kid holding a spear though.

10. Because every girl should be able to be Princess Darth Vader.

Now this is a pretty princess you don't want to mess with. Because she'll either force choke you, blow up your planet, or cut off your hand with her pink lightsaber.

Now this is a pretty princess you don’t want to mess with. Because she’ll either force choke you, blow up your planet, or cut off your hand with her pink lightsaber.

11. Snow White Fett will always be the fairest bounty hunter in the land.

Of course, you have to like how she's wearing a red bow and has one on her helmet. Yes, you get costumes like this.

Of course, you have to like how she’s wearing a red bow and has one on her helmet. And she has 7 little men to help her.

12. Even Muppets like to dress up as Stormtroopers now and then.

Looks like Kermit and Gonzo are enjoying some time at Comic Con. Wonder if Miss Piggy is wearing a Slave Leia costume.

Looks like Kermit and Gonzo are enjoying some time at Comic Con. Wonder if Miss Piggy is wearing a Slave Leia costume.

13. As Queen of Naboo, Padme Amidala was the fashionista of the galaxy.

Still, I'm not sure if this outfit is complete without some epic shoulder pads. But yeah, she dressed this way a lot in Episode I.

Still, I’m not sure if this outfit is complete without some epic shoulder pads. But yeah, she dressed this way a lot in Episode I.

14. All this Stormtrooper wanted to be was a prima ballerina in Swan Lake. But parents had other ideas.

Now this is just hysterical. Still, I think the armor might put a dent in the drama though.

Now this is just hysterical. Still, I think the armor might put a dent in the drama though.

15. Of course, we all know that Darth Vader had to start out as Anakin Skywalker.

Now I think this guy is more rugged than Hayden Christensen. Then again, that's not saying much.

Now I think this guy is more rugged than Hayden Christensen. Then again, that’s not saying much.

16. “Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

Now that's just so cute, isn't it? Love how the R2-D2 costume, which is DIY.

Now that’s just so cute, isn’t it? Love how the R2-D2 costume, which is DIY.

17. Looks like this C-3PO is going to a disco.

Yeah, a C-3PO polyester costume isn't very flattering. This is especialyl true with a blond afro and big gold sunglasses.

Yeah, a C-3PO polyester costume isn’t very flattering. This is especialyl true with a blond afro and big gold sunglasses.

18. Seems like this Anakin Skywalker has gone to the Dark Side.

Yeah, once a Jedi has yellow eyes, there's no turning back. Well, except maybe years later when you're on life support and Sidious is electrocuting your son.

Yeah, once a Jedi has yellow eyes, there’s no turning back. Well, except maybe years later when you’re on life support and Sidious is electrocuting your son.

19. Sometimes the best costumes in Star Wars conventions tend to be the most original.

Now this woman isn't a particular character from the franchise. She's the introduction as you look on her dress and purse.

Now this woman isn’t a particular character from the franchise. She’s the introduction as you look on her dress and purse.

20. What kind of Star Wars Convention would it be without Admiral Akbar?

Best known for,

Best known for, “It’s a trap!” Still, not sure why he’s a rather popular character in the franchise.

21. It’s said that Darth Vader fiddled while Alderaan blew up.

Not sure if a street musician in a Darth Vader mask is bound to earn any money. That is, unless he threatens to force choke you if you don't give him any spare change or adulation.

Not sure if a street musician in a Darth Vader mask is bound to earn any money. That is, unless he threatens to force choke you if you don’t give him any spare change or adulation.

22. Who says that Darth Vader can’t be sexy in a corset, garters, and miniskirt?

Let's just say reenacting some scenes from The Empire Strikes Back in this with your boyfriend is bound to be awkward. This is especially if he's playing Luke Skywalker.

Let’s just say reenacting some scenes from The Empire Strikes Back in this with your boyfriend is bound to be awkward. This is especially if he’s playing Luke Skywalker.

23. Of course, you can also dress up in Imperial Battle equipment to stand out.

Still, this little boy better watch out for Ewoks. I've seen how they destroyed such equipment with their technology and it's not pretty.

Still, this little boy better watch out for Ewoks. I’ve seen how they destroyed such equipment with their technology and it’s not pretty.

24. Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia do make great sibling costumes for Halloween.

Thankfully, these two kids have been around each other long enough to know that they're brother and sister. With Luke and Leia, this wasn't the case.

Thankfully, these two kids have been around each other long enough to know that they’re brother and sister. With Luke and Leia, this wasn’t the case.

25. When it comes to battle, clone troops know how to use the big guns.

Now that's a really convincing costume. I mean even the outfit looks like it's got some use.

Now that’s a really convincing costume. I mean even the outfit looks like it’s got some use.

26. Guess Queen Amidala doesn’t really want her picture taken.

Now that is a convincing costume. Wonder if it's bought or DIY. Probably bought.

Now that is a convincing costume. Wonder if it’s bought or DIY. Probably bought.

27. Seems like this Death Star is ready to blow up a planet.

Now this is a clever costume. Love how she used part of the Death Star as a skirt.

Now this is a clever costume. Love how she used part of the Death Star as a skirt. But yeah, it looks ready to blow up Alderaan.

28. Now I don’t know which character this is but looks pretty familiar to me.

Oh, wait, that's Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. She's in disguise to defrost and rescue Han Solo.

Oh, wait, that’s Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi. She’s in disguise to defrost and rescue Han Solo.

29. If you don’t have a small child to dress as an Ewok, you can always use a plushie.

Now we all know that's supposed to be Princess Leia in the closest thing she'll have for camo. Still, it's a pretty creative Endor costume.

Now we all know that’s supposed to be Princess Leia in the closest thing she’ll have for camo. Still, it’s a pretty creative Endor costume.

30. It’s said that aluminum foil has some resemblance to carbonite.

From the looks of it, it seems like there's a sibling rivalry going on here. Still, this is a great costume combination though I feel bad for Han Solo.

From the looks of it, it seems like there’s a sibling rivalry going on here. Still, this is a great costume combination though I feel bad for Han Solo.

31. Of course, people tend to forget the samurai Stormtrooper from feudal Japan.

Still, I wouldn't worry about him when he goes on a rampage with his sword. Because we all know that Imperial Stormtroopers never hit anything.

Still, I wouldn’t worry about him when he goes on a rampage with his sword. Because we all know that Imperial Stormtroopers never hit anything.

32. You can’t have a Star Wars convention without a homemade Chewbacca costume.

Now this really looks like Chewie. Almost as if this costume was made for the movies.

Now this really looks like Chewie. Almost as if this costume was made for the movies.

33. Now I can’t do a post on Star Wars costumes without including Slave Leia at some point.

This is guaranteed to attract some adolescent boys and young men. Still, she did manage to strangle Jabba the Hutt to death in it.

This is guaranteed to attract some adolescent boys and young men. Still, she did manage to strangle Jabba the Hutt to death in it.

34. If you’re an X-Wing pilot, you can always take your spacecraft with you.

Now this is a clever homemade costume. Love how the X-Wing was made from cardboard boxes.

Now this is a clever homemade costume. Love how the X-Wing was made from cardboard boxes.

35. You don’t become a dark lord of the galaxy unless you wear a menacing mask and a long black tutu.

Now this is just clever. She even made the Darth Vader mask, too.

Now this is just clever. She even made the Darth Vader mask, too.

36. Looks like somebody isn’t happy with his daughter dating.

Just you wait, Han. Once he's Darth Vader and in Cloud City, he's going to freeze you in carbonite for Boba Fett to take to Jabba the Hutt.

Just you wait, Han. Once he’s Darth Vader and in Cloud City, he’s going to freeze you in carbonite for Boba Fett to take to Jabba the Hutt.

37. Of course, Yoda isn’t the only alien Jedi out there.

Seem to remember these two Jedi from Episode II. And I think they both died in Episode III.

Seem to remember these two Jedi from Episode II. And I think they both died in Episode III.

38. Finally, a Star Wars alien even James T. Kirk could love.

I think this might be a Twilek, whatever that is. Still, Captain Kirk would find her irresistible since he goes for green girls.

I think this might be a Twilek, whatever that is. Still, Captain Kirk would find her irresistible since he goes for green girls.

39. Of course, when your family consists of Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Chewie, you just have to get a Millennium Falcon stroller.

Now the Millennium Falcon stroller is so clever. Still, love how Chewie has a pink ribbon and purse. So cute.

Now the Millennium Falcon stroller is so clever. Still, love how Chewie has a pink ribbon and purse. So cute.

40. If you’re a mom, then a Princess Leia and Ewok costume might do nicely for you and your little one.

Now I'm sure an Ewok costume is quite easy to make. Just get a little teddy bear costume and hood. So adorable.

Now I’m sure an Ewok costume is quite easy to make. Just get a little teddy bear costume and hood. So adorable.

41. And you thought only men were Jedi. Well, you’d be wrong.

Still, unless we're talking about Clone Wars, female Jedi don't usually have speaking roles. They just function as extras in the prequels.

Still, unless we’re talking about Clone Wars, female Jedi don’t usually have speaking roles. They just function as extras in the prequels.

42. If you love Star Wars and the 1950s, then you’ll love this Wampa skirt.

Now this is just so funny. Who knew that you can mash up a maimed monster on Hoth with a poodle skirt?

Now this is just so funny. Who knew that you can mash up a maimed monster on Hoth with a poodle skirt?

43. Wonder what you’d do if you see Jawa at your door.

Ah, the Jawa, the guys who sold C-3PO and R2-D2 to Luke and his step uncle. Nice fellows. Sad they were killed by Stormtroopers.

Ah, the Jawa, the guys who sold C-3PO and R2-D2 to Luke and his step uncle. Nice fellows. Sad they were killed by Stormtroopers.

44. Remember, you’re never too young to be an X-Wing pilot.

Now this is so adorable. Wonder if he has a little X-Wing stroller.

Now this is so adorable. Wonder if he has a little X-Wing stroller.

45. While Slave Ariel might be as dumb as dirt, she knows her way around a fork.

Still, at least she uses her fork for higher things like strangling Jabba the Hutt. Then again, Ariel was never one of my favorite Disney princesses. Such an immature brat.

Still, at least she uses her fork for higher things like strangling Jabba the Hutt. Then again, Ariel was never one of my favorite Disney princesses. Such an immature brat.

46. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to do Han Solo in carbonite.

Wonder if that's plaster or something else. Still, this is a pretty clever, indeed.

Wonder if that’s plaster or something else. Still, this is a pretty clever, indeed.

47. Star Wars: a science fiction saga for the whole family since 1977.

Now this is just so adorable. Let's see we have Anakin, Padme, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Yoda.

Now this is just so adorable. Let’s see we have Anakin, Padme, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Yoda.

48. If you want a pretty Star Wars costume, you can always go with Padme’s from the lake in Naboo.

Reminds me of one of the costumes you'd see at a Renaissance Festival. That or something a Disney princess would wear.

Reminds me of one of the costumes you’d see at a Renaissance Festival. That or something a Disney princess would wear.

49. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a Wookie Bounty Hunter.

Well, a wookie with some elaborate weaponry and tools. Guess Chewie would envy him since he can't afford all that.

Well, a wookie with some elaborate weaponry and tools. Guess Chewie would envy him since he can’t afford all that.

50. If you have daughters, you can always dress them up as droids.

In some ways, C-3PO and R2-D2 are the real heroes in Star Wars. This is especially the case with R2-D2 who keeps saving everyone's ass all the time.

In some ways, C-3PO and R2-D2 are the real heroes in Star Wars. This is especially the case with R2-D2 who keeps saving everyone’s ass all the time.

51. Didn’t know that cardboard can make great coverings for C-3PO.

Now this is quite creative. Still, I have to wonder how C-3PO got coverings after Anakin had been away from Tatooine for years to become a Jedi.

Now this is quite creative. Still, I have to wonder how C-3PO got coverings after Anakin had been away from Tatooine for years to become a Jedi.

52. Who knew that Ewoks walked on all fours.

Now this is an easy Star Wars costume for dogs. In this case, the dog actually almost looks like an Ewok.

Now this is an easy Star Wars costume for dogs. In this case, the dog actually almost looks like an Ewok.

53. Even among girls, Star Wars fandom tends to start at a young age.

Now I the guy here is Hayden Christensen who played Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. I think he's a shitty actor. Still, this picture is adorable.

Now I the guy here is Hayden Christensen who played Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. I think he’s a shitty actor. Still, this picture is adorable.

54. Now this Imperial Stormtrooper loves to do it the American way.

Yes, this is a Captain America Stormtrooper. Yes, it looks cool. But I don't know what side he's on.

Yes, this is a Captain America Stormtrooper. Yes, it looks cool. But I don’t know what side he’s on.

55. Of course, it doesn’t hurt for a Stormtrooper to dress in pink.

Isn't that a little short for a Stormtrooper? Still, even with the blaster, it's still pretty adorable.

Isn’t that a little short for a Stormtrooper? Still, even with the blaster, it’s still pretty adorable.

56. When it comes to introducing your kids to Star Wars, it’s doesn’t hurt to start early.

Funny, how Yoda is over 900 years old and is one of the oldest characters in the franchise. Yet, due to his size, he's more of a little kid costume.

Funny, how Yoda is over 900 years old and is one of the oldest characters in the franchise. Yet, due to his size, he’s more of a little kid costume.

57. Seems like Princess Leia cat sees something off with that Stormtrooper.

Well, even fans tend to dress their pets once in awhile. Still, I like the cat's Princess Leia wig for some reason.

Well, even fans tend to dress their pets once in awhile. Still, I like the cat’s Princess Leia wig for some reason.

58. Didn’t know that wookies came in all kinds of colors.

Now these are in pink, purple, and light blue. And they all have matching blasters. No, it's not a drug trip.

Now these are in pink, purple, and light blue. And they all have matching blasters. No, it’s not a drug trip.

59. Sometimes it takes two to make a costume.

Now this is an AT-AT. It was seen in the Empire Strikes Back. X-Fighters were supposed to tie their legs together and make them explode.

Now this is an AT-AT. It was seen in the Empire Strikes Back. X-Fighters were supposed to tie their legs together and make them explode.

60. There are some little girls who want to be Jedi, just like their mothers.

Now this is adorable. Still, I don't think female Jedi can have children if I'm not mistaken. Aren't they supposed to be celibate?

Now this is adorable. Still, I don’t think female Jedi can have children if I’m not mistaken. Aren’t they supposed to be celibate?

61. Nothing is cuter than a baby wookie.

Still, when they grow up, they tend to leave a lot of hair everywhere. Han Solo would know all too well.

Still, when they grow up, they tend to leave a lot of hair everywhere. Han Solo would know all too well.

62. Now this is what I call a Jedi family.

Still, that is no way to hold a lightsaber. But I wonder if the mom is supposed to be Padme or Leia in another outfit.

Still, that is no way to hold a lightsaber. But I wonder if the mom is supposed to be Padme or Leia in another outfit.

63. Queen Elsa isn’t the only one who can brave the cold.

Yes, this is the Leia on Hoth costume from The Empire Strikes Back. I think she kissed her brother in this.

Yes, this is the Leia on Hoth costume from The Empire Strikes Back. I think she kissed her brother in this and had some sexual tension with Han.

64. When you don’t have the makeup for Han Solo in carbonite, make the costume your color.

Now that's one way to work around it. Seems happy that he doesn't have to wash his face afterwards.

Now that’s one way to work around it. Seems happy that he doesn’t have to wash his face afterwards.

65. Of course, you have to shimmer like Padme in this purple dress.

I wonder if any of Padme's wardrobe designers are regular Renaissance Festival attendees. It would explain a lot.

I wonder if any of Padme’s wardrobe designers are regular Renaissance Festival attendees. It would explain a lot.

66. Sorry, but you can’t resist the power of the Dark Side.

Yes, I'm sure Sith lords have to hang out, too, you know. But, Emperor Sidious, stay off of Vader's kids.

Yes, I’m sure Sith lords have to hang out, too, you know. But, Emperor Sidious, stay off of Vader’s kids.

67. Seems that Princess Leia wasn’t the only one in her family with cinnabun hair.

Now this is another Padme costume from Episode II. And yes, it also looks like it's from a Renaissance Festival.

Now this is another Padme costume from Episode II. And yes, it also looks like it’s from a Renaissance Festival.

68. Of course, now that Star Wars has been bought by Disney, Disney Princess Jedi rule!

Now we have Mulan, Belle, Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Ariel. And all are wielding lightsabers but have no princes.

Now we have Mulan, Belle, Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Ariel. And all are wielding lightsabers but have no princes.

69. Now this Luke Skywalker can really use the Force.

Almost does look like an older Mark Hamil. However, I'm sure it's not him, since he has a toy lightsaber in his hand.

Almost does look like an older Mark Hamil. However, I’m sure it’s not him, since he has a toy lightsaber in his hand.

70. Seems like Padme enjoys the breeze of Tatooine.

Now I think this is in Tunisia. Not sure if it's safe to go there anymore. Not that I'd want to.

Now I think this is in Tunisia. Not sure if it’s safe to go there anymore. Not that I’d want to.

71. In the months ahead, it wouldn’t hurt to go as a Wampa.

Now this is how you design a costume for a winter monster on Hoth. Still, stay away from lightsabers.

Now this is how you design a costume for a winter monster on Hoth. Still, stay away from lightsabers.

72. Of course, you don’t have to be a girl to dress up as Princess Leia. Nor do you have to be a guy to dress up as Han Solo.

Don't know what to think of seeing Slave Leia in a beard. Still, doesn't look as bad as I thought.

Don’t know what to think of seeing Slave Leia in a beard. Still, doesn’t look as bad as I thought.

73. Now this Obi Wan Kenobi doesn’t seem too happy.

“Excuse me, but can you direct me toward the men’s room? Anyone?”

74. Nevertheless, you can’t  forget the touching relationship between Han Solo and Chewbacca.

Now that costume set up is adorable. I mean who can't love this picture with this little boy as Han and his dog as Chewie.

Now that costume set up is adorable. I mean who can’t love this picture with this little boy as Han and his dog as Chewie.

75. You might want to stop or these guys will shoot.

Just tell them that you don't have the droids they're looking for. Still, there's a chance they might look in your trunk, if they're smart.

Just tell them that you don’t have the droids they’re looking for. Still, there’s a chance they might look in your trunk, if they’re smart.

76. Seems like this is a job for Princess Leia Wonder Woman.

Now this is a Wonder Woman Slave Leia costume. She even has the cinnabun hair.

Now this is a Wonder Woman Slave Leia costume. She even has the cinnabun hair.

77. Looks like this Darth Vader has to take his AT-AT for a walk.

Now this is clever cosplay if you think about it. Still, the AT-ATs were huge in the movies.

Now this is clever cosplay if you think about it. Still, the AT-ATs were huge in the movies.

78. So I guess these are the Stormtroopers Luke and Han stole their clothes from.

Still, I think Luke and Han took their helmets, too, if I'm not mistaken. Then again, without the helmets it wouldn't be funny.

Still, I think Luke and Han took their helmets, too, if I’m not mistaken. Then again, without the helmets it wouldn’t be funny.

79. Don’t worry, Steampunk Leia is here to fix it and save the day.

Now you might see a lot of Star Wars steampunk mashups. Still, I think this is one of the best.

Now you might see a lot of Star Wars steampunk mashups. Still, I think this is one of the best.

80. Of course, it can be difficult to make a cute costume of the disgusting Jabba the Hutt.

Now this Jabba is so adorable that you'd wouldn't want Leia to strangle him. This kid must have very creative parents.

Now this Jabba is so adorable that you’d wouldn’t want Leia to strangle him. This kid must have very creative parents.

81. If you want a date, ladies, then C-3PO is the droid you’re looking for.

Now this is pretty clever if you think about it. It helps that he speaks millions of languages, possibly including Klingon.

Now this is pretty clever if you think about it. It helps that he speaks millions of languages, possibly including Klingon.

82. Nothing makes a woman feel more beautiful than her Jedi robes.

Sometimes I wish I could wear those. They look so comfy. Guess that's why Obi Wan Kenobi wore his for years.

Sometimes I wish I could wear those. They look so comfy. Guess that’s why Obi Wan Kenobi wore his for years.

83. Of course, it’s said that an R2 unit makes a great baby stroller.

Now this is so adorable. Still, you have to wonder if the parents had too much time on their hands.

Now this is so adorable. Still, you have to wonder if the parents had too much time on their hands.

84. Seems like Qui Gon Jin and Obi Wan Kenobi are together again at Comic Con.

Now this is pretty funny and I know the guy on the left is Obi Wan Kenobi. But those outfits look so comfy.

Now this is pretty funny and I know the guy on the left is Obi Wan Kenobi. But those outfits look so comfy.

85. This little Boba Fett has something for Jabba the Hutt.

Yes, I know parenting does take sacrifice. And sometimes this means being Han Solo in carbonite while your kid is Boba Fett.

Yes, I know parenting does take sacrifice. And sometimes this means being Han Solo in carbonite while your kid is Boba Fett.

86. “Step away from your X-Wing with your hands up, Rebel scum!”

Yes, this is a cosplay depicting an X-Wing pilot being captured by the Empire's fighter pilots. Yes, it looks kind of scary but they're fans having a good time.

Yes, this is a cosplay depicting an X-Wing pilot being captured by the Empire’s fighter pilots. Yes, it looks kind of scary but they’re fans having a good time.

87. Of course, it’s hard to tell who’s the master in this one.

I know that's supposed to look like Yoda training Luke Skywalker. But come on, this Yoda is a baby for God's sake.

I know that’s supposed to look like Yoda training Luke Skywalker. But come on, this Yoda is a baby for God’s sake.

88. If you’re a woman with a dog, why not dress up as Princess Leia and an Ewok?

Guess you can bring your pets to Star Wars conventions. Still, this is very clever if you think about it.

Guess you can bring your pets to Star Wars conventions. Still, this is very clever if you think about it.

89. Seems like Daddy’s little princess is taking a bad road to the Dark Side.

Then again, this Darth Vader is probably a great dad who's totally fine with his daughter dressing like that. Not like Darth Vader in the movies who blew up his little girl's planet.

Then again, this Darth Vader is probably a great dad who’s totally fine with his daughter dressing like that. Not like Darth Vader in the movies who blew up his little girl’s planet.

90. Now Padme Amidala sure looks lovely in white and ruffles, doesn’t she?

Now this is a lovely costume. Almost looks like the real thing. Then again, that's the magic of cosplay.

Now this is a lovely costume. Almost looks like the real thing. Then again, that’s the magic of cosplay.

91. Of course, I couldn’t do a post on Star Wars costumes without including General Grievous.

Now this guy is mostly in the cape because Grievous is a very skinny guy. But he does know his way around a few lightsabers.

Now this guy is mostly in the cape because Grievous is a very skinny guy. But he does know his way around a few lightsabers.

92. You can either go as an Imperial fighter pilot or as an Imperial fighter.

Yes, it looks a little flat. But it's cardboard. Still, you have to admire his effort.

Yes, it looks a little flat. But it’s cardboard. Still, you have to admire his effort.

93. Remember, the family that does Star Wars together, stays together.

Let's see, the parents are a Stormtrooper and Princess Leia. The kids are Darth Vader, Yoda, and R2-D2. Still, the tutu is so cute.

Let’s see, the parents are a Stormtrooper and Princess Leia. The kids are Darth Vader, Yoda, and R2-D2. Still, the tutu is so cute.

94. There is no bigger top dog in the galaxy than Pug Vader.

Yes, he might not look like much. But if you ever dare attack or fail him, he will force choke you with a vengeance.

Yes, he might not look like much. But if you ever dare attack or fail him, he will force choke you with a vengeance.

95. When it comes to Star Wars conventions, it’s best that you be careful around Darth Maul.

I mean this guy was one of the few to ever kill Liam Neeson. Think about it.

I mean this guy was one of the few to ever kill Liam Neeson. Think about it.

96. You never know who you’d meet as an X-Wing pilot in the Rebel Alliance.

And these two are holding each other's helmets. Still, in the original trilogy, why is it that almost all of them are men?

And these two are holding each other’s helmets. Still, in the original trilogy, why is it that almost all of them are men?

97. There is nothing romantic in the galaxy than a wedding between those giving their lives for the Empire.

Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts. Because I know that what they're suited is for the good guys to shoot at.

Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts. Because I know that what they’re suited is for the good guys to shoot at.

98. Of course, there’s nothing in a Star Wars convention than seeing a woman in her fashionable Jedi robes.

You see, ladies, there our great outfits that don't cause bodily discomfort. And they're just as practical as they are comfortable.

You see, ladies, there our great outfits that don’t cause bodily discomfort. And they’re just as practical as they are comfortable.

99. Some may feel blue, while some Star Wars aliens are blue.

I don't think you see these Twilek aliens in the movies. But I have seen plenty in fan costumes on Pinterest. Wonder why.

I don’t think you see these Twilek aliens in the movies. But I have seen plenty in fan costumes on Pinterest. Wonder why.

100. Some Stormtroopers just want to stand out among the others.

Yes, he might be committing a lot of uniform infractions. But unlike his peers, he doesn't care what Lord Vader does to him.

Yes, he might be committing a lot of uniform infractions. But unlike his peers, he doesn’t care what Lord Vader does to him.

Stay Alive with These Hunger Games Treats

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As you probably know, The Hunger Games does devote quite a bit of attention toward food. This is especially since food is necessary for survival and much of the districts live in some degrees of poverty that they risk starvation. Katniss and Gale also hunt for food to feed their families (since their dads both dies in a mine explosion) as well while Peeta is a baker’s son and bakes like his old man and brothers. And it was Peeta who gave Katniss two loaves of burnt bread that restored her will to live before the series begins. And when she goes to the Capitol, she tends to devote significant detail to what’s on the buffet. Since the Hunger Games has a big fanbase, it’s not surprising that fans have their own Hunger Games food for their themed parties. Yeah, since the premise revolves around dystopian society sending teenagers to fight to the death on live television, it’s pretty disturbing. Even more so if it pertains to Hunger Games themed weddings. Seriously, just because the movie revolves around a love story, doesn’t mean you should have it as a theme for your wedding. Then again, we’ve been raised in a society that treats William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights as a couple of the greatest love stories of all time. Still, you have to admire how people are so creative when it pertains to treats, especially if they’re fans of a franchise. Some may be disturbing while some might be quite cute and appropriate. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a glimpse of some of the great Hunger Games treats out there.

  1. Increase your odds of survival with this silver parachute cake.
As you might know, silver parachutes send sponsor gifts to tributes in the Hunger Games to help them survive. Peeta's confessing his love for Katniss was very instrumental at getting these.

As you might know, silver parachutes send sponsor gifts to tributes in the Hunger Games to help them survive. Peeta’s confessing his love for Katniss was very instrumental at getting these.

2. If you liked the fire dress transformation sequence in Catching Fire, then you’ll like this cake.

When Miss Havisham's wedding dress catches fire, she dies. When Katniss Everdeen's

When Miss Havisham’s wedding dress catches fire, she dies. When Katniss Everdeen’s “wedding” dress is on fire, she’s the Mockingjay.

3. Revisit the Victory Tour events in Catching Fire with a cake of Seneca Crane hung in effigy.

Effigy or no effigy, this is pretty fucked up. I mean seriously, why would anyone want a cake like this?

Effigy or no effigy, this is pretty fucked up. I mean seriously, why would anyone want a cake like this?

4. Celebrate the Hunger Games with a box of Capitol chocolates.

Wonder if they're like a regular box of chocolates. If so, then hope there's a box on which ones contain stuff that I might want to avoid.

Wonder if they’re like a regular box of chocolates. If so, then hope there’s a box on which ones contain stuff that I might want to avoid.

5. At your Hunger Games party, grace your table with this Katniss Mockingjay cake.

Let's just say after Katniss spreads her mockingjay wings, things won't be good for Cinna. Still, it's a beautiful cake.

Let’s just say after Katniss spreads her mockingjay wings, things won’t be good for Cinna. Still, it’s a beautiful cake.

6. May the odds be ever in your favor with these Hunger Games cupcakes.

Now these are from the images you see on all 3 books. Of course is a Mockingjay which Katniss is associated with.

Now these are from the images you see on all 3 books. Of course is a Mockingjay which Katniss is associated with.

7. You heard about Katniss being “the Girl on Fire” but have you ever saw fire in cupcakes?

Now this isn't real fire but it's due to the magic of food coloring. If it was touched by real flames, it would be burnt to a crisp.

Now this isn’t real fire but it’s due to the magic of food coloring. If it was touched by real flames, it would be burnt to a crisp.

8. Nothing shows the Hunger Games spirit of the Capitol than tracker jacker nest cookies.

Let's just say tracker jackers are genetically enhanced wasps that can either kill you or mess you up for life. Note what Katniss did to Glimmer.

Let’s just say tracker jackers are genetically enhanced wasps that can either kill you or mess you up for life. Note what Katniss did to Glimmer.

9. Treat yourself this season to some Hunger Games apple pie.

Of course, this probably was made by a repressed art major. Well, from at least what I could tell from the crust.

Of course, this probably was made by a repressed art major. Well, from at least what I could tell from the crust.

10. Support your favorite Panem district with these district cookies.

Now these were probably done by a professional since they're intricately detailed. Might have to zoom in to see what each of them say.

Now these were probably done by a professional since they’re intricately detailed. Might have to zoom in to see what each of them say.

11. Celebrate the Hunger Games with this Cornucopia cake.

How can I tell this is for the Hunger Games? Well, it has flowers and tracker jackers on it. Thanksgiving cornucopias have neither.

How can I tell this is for the Hunger Games? Well, it has flowers and tracker jackers on it. Thanksgiving cornucopias have neither.

12. Ensnare your guests’ appetites with these Catching Fire cupcakes.

Now these consist of burning dress, bronze Mockingjay, monarch butterfly, Peeta's locket, white block, and a white rose with blood. You can guess what they mean by the symbolism.

Now these consist of burning dress, bronze Mockingjay, monarch butterfly, Peeta’s locket, white block, and a white rose with blood. You can guess what they mean by the symbolism.

13. Represent each Hunger Games district with these cupcakes.

Now these cupcakes make it more apparent on which one is which. Too bad District 12 just gets black icing.

Now these cupcakes make it more apparent on which one is which. Too bad District 12 just gets black icing.

14. Shoot your way to victory with these Hunger Games arrow cookies.

Strange for a post-apocalyptic tale, plenty have been killed with these. Then again, tributes aren't allowed guns in the arena.

Strange for a post-apocalyptic tale, plenty have been killed with these. Then again, tributes aren’t allowed guns in the arena.

15. At your Hunger Games, it’s best that your side dish be of Peeta’s burnt raisin nut bread.

No, that's not a cooking disaster. That's how it's supposed to look like. Yeah, I know it's ridiculous.

No, that’s not a cooking disaster. That’s how it’s supposed to look like. Yeah, I know it’s ridiculous.

16. Love Katniss? Well, you’ll certainly love these flaming cookies.

Now these are flaming cookies since Katniss is

Now these are flaming cookies since Katniss is “the Girl on Fire.” But yes, they’re quite vibrant.

17. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Quarter Quell cake.

You might notice it because its in the arena. And it's shaped like a clock, too.

You might notice it because its in the arena. And it’s shaped like a clock, too.

18. Commemorate the Hunger Games with these Mockingjay pin cookies.

Now these might have black icing and only use the outline. But it's still artistically better than what I could've done.

Now these might have black icing and only use the outline. But it’s still artistically better than what I could’ve done.

19. Be the ultimate fan with this flaming Hunger Games cake.

I hope this isn't a wedding cake. I mean there's just something about celebrating your love by theming your wedding on a series centered on teenagers killing each other on live TV that makes me cringe.

I hope this isn’t a wedding cake. I mean there’s just something about celebrating your love by theming your wedding on a series centered on teenagers killing each other on live TV that makes me cringe.

20. Like Effie Trinket? Then you’ll love these cupcakes of all her hairstyles.

Of course, knowing how Effie changes hairstyles like people change socks, you knew this had to happen. Of course, some of your relatives might not get the reference.

Of course, knowing how Effie changes hairstyles like people change socks, you knew this had to happen. Of course, some of your relatives might not get the reference.

21. If you like the tributes from District 2, then you’ll certainly love Clove’s cupcakes.

It helps that her cupcakes have knives in them, which is her weapon MO. Still, she shouldn't have taunted Katniss about Rue's death while trying to kill her.

It helps that her cupcakes have knives in them, which is her weapon MO. Still, she shouldn’t have taunted Katniss about Rue’s death while trying to kill her. Yeah, don’t want to make Thresh mad.

22. If you like Finnick, then take a bite out of some District 4 bread.

As in the books, it's a seaweed loaf. And since District 4 specializes in fishing, it's a fish.

As in the books, it’s a seaweed loaf. And since District 4 specializes in fishing, it’s a fish.

23. If you want a ginger snack, these Hunger Games cookies will do nicely.

Like how they use Katniss, Peeta, and Gale's faces with their icing hair. Wonder how that's possible.

Like how they use Katniss, Peeta, and Gale’s faces with their icing hair. Wonder how that’s possible.

24. In the Capitol, it’s said they serve flower rolls. Like these.

Now these are pretty and quite intricate. But still, if I make buns, I should probably keep it simple.

Now these are pretty and quite intricate. But still, if I make buns, I should probably keep it simple.

25. For your baby shower, these Hunger Games cookies would do just nicely.

What the fuck? For God's sake why have a Hunger Games themed baby shower? That's as bad as having the Lorax as a spokesman for Hummer.

What the fuck? For God’s sake why have a Hunger Games themed baby shower? That’s as bad as having the Lorax as a spokesman for Hummer. Jesus Christ, why in the hell would anyone think it’s a good idea?

26. If you’re not a fans of Peeta’s buns, you might like this Hunger Games bread.

Now that's a fan statement. Wonder if Peeta makes loaves like these. Probably.

Now that’s a fan statement. Wonder if Peeta makes loaves like these. Probably.

27. Get in the Hunger Games spirit with this Cornucopia cake.

Like I said, the Cornucopia doesn't really look like that. Still, at least it has nightlock berries, burnt loaves, and weapons.

Like I said, the Cornucopia doesn’t really look like that. Still, at least it has nightlock berries, burnt loaves, and weapons.

28. Those who like District 12 will adore these coal cookies.

Now these are are all black. Probably either containing food coloring or Oreos. Still, how would you like to get those in your Christmas stocking?

Now these are are all black. Probably either containing food coloring or Oreos. Still, how would you like to get those in your Christmas stocking?

29. Bring a fiery touch to your Hunger Games party with these fiery cupcakes.

Well, Katniss is

Well, Katniss is “the Girl on Fire.” Still, they do have the Mockingjay symbol on them.

30. Relive the Quarter Quell with this Gingerbread arena.

Now this is just for decoration. But you can tell since all the Victors are wearing diving suits and it's designed like a clock.

Now this is just for decoration. But you can tell since all the Victors are wearing diving suits and it’s designed like a clock.

31. Show your love for the Hunger Games with these cookies.

Really like Katniss getting the

Really like Katniss getting the “Obama Hope” treatment. Still, quite intricately designed, probably by a professional.

32. For your Mockingjay Part 2 premiere party, this marshmallow cake would do just fine.

Now the Mockingjay design is quite intricate. And I do like what this person did with the marshmallows.

Now the Mockingjay design is quite intricate. And I do like what this person did with the marshmallows.

33. Grace your Hunger Games party with this Nightlock Berry pie.

Yeah, I know this is a blueberry pie. But still, nightlock is deadly poisonous that Katniss and Peeta threatened to kill themselves with it. Think about it.

Yeah, I know this is a blueberry pie. But still, nightlock is deadly poisonous that Katniss and Peeta threatened to kill themselves with it. Think about it.

34. If you like Peeta, then you’ll love these bread loaf cupcakes.

Now these look fairly easy to make. Also, the bread loaves seem to be made from cake.

Now these look fairly easy to make. Also, the bread loaves seem to be made from cake.

35. Remind the Capitol that you’ll burn with us with this bloody rose on fire cake.

Of course, a bloody rose certainly means President Snow. Those who read Mockingjay could guess why.

Of course, a bloody rose certainly means President Snow. Those who read Mockingjay could guess why.

36. If you love the Hunger Games, then take a bite out of these cookies.

Now all of these seem to be square. Well, except for the flames.

Now all of these seem to be square. Well, except for the flames.

37. Relive the 74th Hunger Games with this gingerbread arena.

Now you have to admire how they used animal crackers and Swedish fish for the fauna. The ice cream cones make great trees, too.

Now you have to admire how they used animal crackers and Swedish fish for the fauna. The ice cream cones make great trees, too.

38. If you love the Hunger Games, then you and your guests will love to take a bite from these cookies.

Yes, I know I have a lot of pastries and cookies on here. But still, you have to take what you can get when doing these posts.

Yes, I know I have a lot of pastries and cookies on here. But still, you have to take what you can get when doing these posts.

39. For healthier Hunger Games options, you might want to go for a Cornucopia salad.

Yeah, kind of shame that this is one of the few healthier Hunger Games treats on there. But you have to take what you can get sometimes.

Yeah, kind of shame that this is one of the few healthier Hunger Games treats on there. But you have to take what you can get sometimes.

40. If you liked Catching Fire, then take some delight in this Rice Krispies roasted pig.

They actually had a pig roast in the first book. In fact, Katniss shoots an arrow through the apple from one.

They actually had a pig roast in the first book. In fact, Katniss shoots an arrow through the apple from one.

41. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Hunger Games fruit salad.

You know this is a Hunger Games fruit salad because the watermelon contains the Mockingjay. Yeah, you kind of have to admire the artistry here.

You know this is a Hunger Games fruit salad because the watermelon contains the Mockingjay. Yeah, you kind of have to admire the artistry here.

42. Nothing brings back the Hunger Games more than a cake of Peeta near the river.

You can tell it's Peeta hiding since he has blue eyes. Still. luckily Katniss isn't there to finish him off though.

You can tell it’s Peeta hiding since he has blue eyes. Still. luckily Katniss isn’t there to finish him off though.

43. If Rice Krispies pig roasts aren’t for you, then you might want to go with a pig roast cake.

Yes, this is a pig roast cake. Yes, the pig has eyelashes. Still, at least it has some real fruits and veggies with it.

Yes, this is a pig roast cake. Yes, the pig has eyelashes. Still, at least it has some real fruits and veggies with it.

44. Treat your guests at your Hunger Games party with these cake pops.

Some of these have the Mockingjay while some have flames. But the flame ones look like ignited ping pong balls.

Some of these have the Mockingjay while some have flames. But the flame ones look like ignited ping pong balls.

45. Like Katniss? Then you’ll like this cake.

Now this is a 10 ft high cake of Katniss. It's not something I'd recommend anyone to make. But since it's associated with the Hunger Games, it's going in.

Now this is a 10 ft high cake of Katniss. It’s not something I’d recommend anyone to make. But since it’s associated with the Hunger Games, it’s going in.

46. Have a healthy Hunger Games lunch with this bento lunch.

Of course, even this healthy lunch will only last you one meal. In other words, will give you no help in the arena.

Of course, even this healthy lunch will only last you one meal. In other words, will give you no help in the arena.

47. Nothing brings the spirit of the Hunger Games like these flaming arrow cake pops.

Now you might not see flaming arrows in the Hunger Games movies. But since she's "the Girl on Fire" and shoots arrows, they seem a good fit.

Now you might not see flaming arrows in the Hunger Games movies. But since she’s “the Girl on Fire” and shoots arrows, they seem a good fit.

48. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Hunger Games fruit dessert.

Now this is said to come from the Mellark Bakery. Still, at least it's healthier than some of the treats I've shown so far.

Now this is said to come from the Mellark Bakery. Still, at least it’s healthier than some of the treats I’ve shown so far.

49. Those who thought the books were better might like this cake, too.

Now this is pretty creative. Of course, it's either made by a professional or someone with too much time on their hands.

Now this is pretty creative. Of course, it’s either made by a professional or someone with too much time on their hands.

50. Now this Hunger Games bento will help get you through the day.

But it won't get you through the arena. Still, you have to admire the design on that Hunger Games sandwich.

But it won’t get you through the arena. Still, you have to admire the design on that Hunger Games sandwich.

51. Grace your Hunger Games dessert platter with this nightlock berry cake.

Okay, so basically this is a cake that seems to glamorize teen suicide. Or teenagers possibly having little knowledge of wilderness survival skills, like in Foxface's situation.

Okay, so basically this is a cake that seems to glamorize teen suicide. Or teenagers possibly having little knowledge of wilderness survival skills, like in Foxface’s situation.

52. Remember with this cake, the odds just might be in your favor.

Because true love is making a suicide pact with poison berries so you don't have to kill your boyfriend. Or the guy who everyone thinks is your boyfriend.

Because true love is making a suicide pact with poison berries so you don’t have to kill your boyfriend. Or the guy who everyone thinks is your boyfriend.

53. Have a fiery lunch with this Hunger Games bento.

Comes with a Hunger Games sandwich and some veggie flames. Also, like the arrow stuck into it.

Comes with a Hunger Games sandwich and some veggie flames. Also, like the arrow stuck into it.

54. With these cookies, there are odds that your guests will find them in their favor.

Yes, I keep showing cookies on this post. But you need to understand, I don't seem to have a lot to work with here.

Yes, I keep showing cookies on this post. But you need to understand, I don’t seem to have a lot to work with here.

55. May the odds be ever in your chocolately favor with these Hunger Games brownies.

Other than the Mockingjay design, these look pretty doable. Just need to get some circular cookie covers, but they could be easy to make.

Other than the Mockingjay design, these look pretty doable. Just need to get some circular cookie covers, but they could be easy to make.

56. Volunteer? Well, hope this cake can put the odds in your favor.

Now this is a birthday cake for a 13 year old girl. Not sure if I find it disturbing or not, for obvious reasons.

Now this is a birthday cake for a 13 year old girl. Not sure if I find it disturbing or not, for obvious reasons.

57. Nothing shows your love for the Hunger Games or each other than this wedding cake.

For God's sake, the Hunger Games is one of the most inappropriate wedding themes ever since it revolves around a teenage death match. Seriously, it's something that would appall Katniss, Peeta, and all their Victor friends.

For God’s sake, the Hunger Games is one of the most inappropriate wedding themes ever since it revolves around a teenage death match. Seriously, it’s something that would appall Katniss, Peeta, and all their Victor friends. I mean what the fuck?

58. Celebrate the Hunger Games with this golden Mockingjay cake.

Now this is a great cake design. However, I might want to take some issue with the nightlock berries on the bottom.

Now this is a great cake design. However, I might want to take some issue with the nightlock berries on the bottom.

59. Nothing brings the spirit of the Hunger Games like this book cake.

Now this looks like it was spray painted save for the logo. Probably done by a professional.

Now this looks like it was spray painted save for the logo. Probably done by a professional.

60. If you like the Hunger Games, then you’ll love this cake of Katniss and Peeta in the cave.

Of course, in the books, they were in way worse shape in the cave scenes. And yes, it's fairly apparent that Katniss was faking it. Or was she? You can't be sure.

Of course, in the books, they were in way worse shape in the cave scenes. And yes, it’s fairly apparent that Katniss was faking it. Or was she? You can’t be sure.

Be the Mockingjay with These Hunger Games Craft Projects

submit-your-hunger-games-crafts-here

Of course, like most franchises, the Hunger Games has a legion of many devoted as well as misunderstood fans. After all, you’ve seen how this plays out with the merchandising. Yes, there are plenty of fans willing to buy anything even Hunger Games stuff that misses the story’s point. Another thing that’s prevalent among Hunger Games fans are the crafts. Just look on Pinterest or Etsy to see what I mean. Better yet, see this graphic above. Of course, we all know that most Hunger Games fans are teenage girls and young women and craft projects are seen as feminine activities. However, it’s pretty clear that most NFL fans are men and I found absolutely no problem looking for NFL craft projects either. Yes, there are a lot of female football fans out there but that’s beside the point. Besides, I’ve done posts on craft projects pertaining to material mostly attributed to men like taxidermy and wood sculpture. Yes, taxidermy and wood working count as crafts too, as well metal working. But guys don’t tend to admit that. Still, in this post you’ll see plenty of fan made craft projects attributed to the Hunger Games. Some of them may be cute and clever. Some of them might be in poor taste or have some disturbing connotations. Some might make you wonder what the hell were they thinking. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasury of Hunger Games craft projects created by the fans. And no, I don’t think many of them are licensed by Lionsgate buy screw them.

  1. Remember the third Quarter Quell with this commemorative necklace.
Now this has stuff relating to Catching fire. There's fire of course as well as the Mockingjay, arrow, and 12 for District 12. But you also see a clock and the pearl. If you haven't read the books or see the movies, you wouldn't understand.

Now this has stuff relating to Catching fire. There’s fire of course as well as the Mockingjay, arrow, and 12 for District 12. But you also see a clock and the pearl. If you haven’t read the books or see the movies, you wouldn’t understand.

2. Carry your thinks in this Hunger Games patchwork quilt purse.

Now there are quite a few of these. And you might see some of your favorite moments in a colorful tapestry.

Now there are quite a few of these. And you might see some of your favorite moments in a colorful tapestry.

3. Of course, there are always plenty of supplies in the arena at the Cornucopia.

Actually the Cornucopia doesn't look like this in the books or the movies. But let's just say plenty of tributes die there on the first day for obvious reasons.

Actually the Cornucopia doesn’t look like this in the books or the movies. But let’s just say plenty of tributes die there on the first day for obvious reasons.

4. No song is more iconic in The Hunger Games than “The Hanging Tree.”

Of course, this song is about a guy wanting his girlfriend to commit suicide with him. And it's possible that he might be the guy who murdered three. Happy stuff.

Of course, this song is about a guy wanting his girlfriend to commit suicide with him. And it’s possible that he might be the guy who murdered three. Happy stuff.

5. Show your love for the Hunger Games by making your own Mockingjay pin.

Then again, sure it might not be like the ones they sell. But it doesn't look that bad to me either. The bird is just perfect.

Then again, sure it might not be like the ones they sell. But it doesn’t look that bad to me either. The bird is just perfect.

6. If you like Catching Fire, then you’d sure like this Tree of Life pendant.

Not sure what the Tree of Life has anything to do with the Hunger Games. But it's nevertheless beautiful.

Not sure what the Tree of Life has anything to do with the Hunger Games. But it’s nevertheless beautiful.

7. Show your love for the Hunger Games with this Mockingjay blanket.

Kind of reminds me of an Andy Warhol pop art style picture. Of course, it probably too much longer to make.

Kind of reminds me of an Andy Warhol pop art style picture. Of course, it probably too much longer to make.

8. Be like Katniss and make your own bow and arrows.

I think set was used for a Katniss costume if I'm not mistaken. Still, let's nobody shoots anyone's eye out with that.

I think set was used for a Katniss costume if I’m not mistaken. Still, let’s nobody shoots anyone’s eye out with that.

9. Grace your home with this Hunger Games painted plate.

Since it's painted, it's used for decoration. But I do love the flames on this and the Mockingjay.

Since it’s painted, it’s used for decoration. But I do love the flames on this and the Mockingjay.

10. For those who love Seneca Crane’s marvelous beard, here’s a necklace of that.

Seneca Crane may not have been in the books or movies much. But man, his immortal beard made him a popular character.

Seneca Crane may not have been in the books or movies much. But man, his immortal beard made him a popular character.

11. Keep warm with this Mockingjay blanket.

So I guess the blue and red are there because they were the colors of the later tow book covers. But the Mockingjay stands as clear as day.

So I guess the blue and red are there because they were the colors of the later tow book covers. But the Mockingjay stands as clear as day.

12. Carry your things in this crocheted Hunger Games tote bag.

Yes, you see the Mockinjay a lot on Hunger Games stuff. Get used to it. It's a well-known symbol in the story.

Yes, you see the Mockinjay a lot on Hunger Games stuff. Get used to it. It’s a well-known symbol in the story.

13. Show your love for the Hunger Games with these Mockingjay bracelets.

Seems that they come in 6 different colors in this picture. Still, you see a lot of these on Etsy and Pinterest.

Seems that they come in 6 different colors in this picture. Still, you see a lot of these on Etsy and Pinterest.

14. Of course, you can always make your own tracker jacker nest.

Tracker jackers are genetically engineered wasps created by the Capitol to control people. They're fiercely aggressive and their venom causes powerful hallucinations and/or death. You're better off dealing with Africanized killer bees.

Tracker jackers are genetically engineered wasps created by the Capitol to control people. They’re fiercely aggressive and their venom causes powerful hallucinations and/or death. You’re better off dealing with Africanized killer bees.

15. May the odds be ever in your favor with these Hunger Games ribbon hair clips.

Seems to go with the Mockingjay symbol of all 3 books. And in the same colors, too.

Seems to go with the Mockingjay symbol of all 3 books. And in the same colors, too.

16. Show your love for the Hunger Games with this emblazoned Mockingjay hair piece.

Now I think that's an embroidered patch. But still, I'm sure Peacekeepers could see that thing from at least a mile away.

Now I think that’s an embroidered patch. But still, I’m sure Peacekeepers could see that thing from at least a mile away.

17. Love the Hunger Games? Well, you’ll love these moss and arrow bottle necklaces.

Yes, I know that Katniss's weapon is a bow and arrow. But I still don't know what to think about this.

Yes, I know that Katniss’s weapon is a bow and arrow. But I still don’t know what to think about this.

18. Nothing says Happy Hunger Games like a Hunger Games wreath at your front door.

Well, at least it doesn't have a festive design. But still,

Well, at least it doesn’t have a festive design. But still, “Happy Hunger Games” just makes me pretty uncomfortable.

19. Decorate your Christmas tree with this Hunger Games ornament.

Yes, nothing says,

Yes, nothing says, “Peace on Earth” than an ornament from a franchise about teenagers fighting to the death. Not sure if that sends the appropriate message.

20. Grace your home with these Hunger Games Russian nesting dolls.

Now this set includes Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Prim, and Rue. Of course, this is from the first book though.

Now this set includes Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Prim, and Rue. Of course, this is from the first book though.

21. Nothing makes you an ultimate fan than a Hunger Games iPhone case.

Now this is so adorable. And I see it includes Katniss, Peeta, and Gale, too. With Mockinjay pin, arrows, lighinting, and rhinestones.

Now this is so adorable. And I see it includes Katniss, Peeta, and Gale, too.

22. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Hunger Games locket necklace.

Now this is very pretty. Wouldn't mind having this myself. Yet, I usually buy jewelry at yard sales anyway.

Now this is very pretty. Wouldn’t mind having this myself. Yet, I usually buy jewelry at yard sales anyway.

23. Drink a toast to your favorite district with these Hunger Games wine glass rings.

And each district comes with its own different color and shape. Of course, you wouldn't be able to tell which districts they were by themselves unless you look close enough.

And each district comes with its own different color and shape. Of course, you wouldn’t be able to tell which districts they were by themselves unless you look close enough.

24. If you like Finnick, then you’ll like this shell necklace.

Yeah, Finnick may be seen as a pretty boy and ladies' man. However, in reality, he has a girlfriend with PTSD and is forced to whore himself to rich people in the Capitol. Pretty tragic I might say.

Yeah, Finnick may be seen as a pretty boy and ladies’ man. However, in reality, he has a girlfriend with PTSD and is forced to whore himself to rich people in the Capitol. Pretty tragic I might say.

25. Grace your table with a white rose from President Snow.

Let's just say if it's white and smells stronger than what a normal rose should, President Snow was probably there. And yes, it's okay to feel uncomfortable about it.

Let’s just say if it’s white and smells stronger than what a normal rose should, President Snow was probably there. And yes, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable about it.

26. Of course, drink with style with these Hunger Games wine glasses.

Both have Katniss and Peeta's names on it. Also, both have a painted Mockingjay on them.

Both have Katniss and Peeta’s names on it. Also, both have a painted Mockingjay on them.

27. Keep yourself warm with this District 12 beanie.

Wonder if they have these for all the Panem districts? Of course, I don't remember Katniss and Peeta wearing them in the movie.

Wonder if they have these for all the Panem districts? Of course, I don’t remember Katniss and Peeta wearing them in the movie.

28. Keep yourself clean with these Hunger Games bath and beauty products from Fortune Cookie Soap.

Guess this is the Quarter Quell collection. Funny that many of these come in shapes and sizes. One of the liquid ones called

Guess this is the Quarter Quell collection. Funny that many of these come in shapes and sizes. One of the liquid ones called “Blood Rain.”

29. Step outside with these Hunger Games shoes.

Each has the Mockingjay logo on one shoe and a quote on the other. And all are in the same color as the book covers.

Each has the Mockingjay logo on one shoe and a quote on the other. And all are in the same color as the book covers.

30. Snuggle up with an amigurumi of your favorite Hunger Games character.

Now there's Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Effie, Prim, Cinna, Rue, and Buttercup. Of course, this ensemble is from the first book.

Now there’s Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Effie, Prim, Cinna, Rue, and Buttercup. Of course, this ensemble is from the first book.

31. Like Foxface? Then you’ll love this sampler.

Yes, the girl from District 5 who lasted incredibly long in the Hunger Games without killing or making alliances. However, we're not sure about whether she knew the berries she stole from Peeta were poisonous.

Yes, the girl from District 5 who lasted incredibly long in the Hunger Games without killing or making alliances. However, we’re not sure about whether she knew the berries she stole from Peeta were poisonous.

32. Show your love for the Hunger Games by gracing this Mockingjay wreath at your front door.

Now this is pretty. And it has red, orange, and yellow streamers to emphasize how Katinss is the

Now this is pretty. And it has red, orange, and yellow strips to emphasize how Katinss is the “Girl on Fire.”

33. Sit your drink on a Hunger Games coaster.

And it has a rainbow Mockinjay. Still, not sure if it is of glass or lacquer.

And it has a rainbow Mockinjay. Still, not sure if it is of glass, plastic, or lacquer.

34. For those who love Effie Trinket, you’ll love this necklace.

Of course, the big flower goes well with Effie Trinket's eccentric fashion tastes. Seriously, she wore a dress of monarch butterflies.

Of course, the big flower goes well with Effie Trinket’s eccentric fashion tastes. Seriously, she wore a dress of monarch butterflies.

35. Show your love for the Hunger Games with these arrow pillows.

Available in 4 different designs. But I like the red one the best, since it's the more ornate.

Available in 4 different designs. But I like the red one the best, since it’s the more ornate.

36. Show your love for the Hunger Games by wearing this ring of fire.

Of course, you might not want to wear it for formal occasions. But it'll sure give you a lot of attention.

Of course, you might not want to wear it for formal occasions. But it’ll sure give you a lot of attention and make a nice conversation piece.

37. If you love District 12, then you’ll like wearing this coal and chain necklace.

Wouldn't think that they'd put a lump of coal on a golden chain. This is especially since that coal is becoming less of a viable energy source because it's an incredibly dirty fossil fuel.

Wouldn’t think that they’d put a lump of coal on a golden chain. This is especially since that coal is becoming less of a viable energy source because it’s an incredibly dirty fossil fuel.

38. Who knew you could make bows and arrows from Q-tips, popsicle sticks, and dental floss?

Yes, this was inspired by the Hunger Games. And yes, it might involve some pilfering some bathroom supplies. Still, these are so clever if you ask me.

Yes, this was inspired by the Hunger Games. And yes, it might involve some pilfering some bathroom supplies. Still, these are so clever if you ask me.

39. Cuddle up on the couch with this Mockingjay pillow cushion.

Now this is lovely. Seems like whoever made this might have had a bit too much time on their hands.

Now this is lovely. Seems like whoever made this might have had a bit too much time on their hands.

40. Decorate your room with this Hunger Games tapestry.

Consist of the Mockingjay logos you see on all 3 novels and in the same colors. Should go well with a lot of Hunger Games crafts.

Consist of the Mockingjay logos you see on all 3 novels and in the same colors. Should go well with a lot of Hunger Games crafts.

41. May the odds be ever in your favor with this Mockingjay bracelet.

Now this is pretty and more heavy duty. Doesn't hurt that it's purple, too.

Now this is pretty and more heavy duty. Doesn’t hurt that it’s purple, too.

42. Show your love for the Capitol with this woodburn sign.

Of course, we should know that the Capitol are the bad guys in the series. Seriously, these people force teenagers to fight to the death on live television for their entertainment.

Of course, we should know that the Capitol are the bad guys in the series. Seriously, these people force teenagers to fight to the death on live television for their entertainment.

43. Keep your money safe with this Hunger Games duct tape wallet.

And it has the painted flaming Mockingjay in the inside. Couldn't do one with my bare hands if my life depended on it.

And it has the painted flaming Mockingjay in the inside. Couldn’t do one with my bare hands if my life depended on it.

44. Decorate your Christmas tree this year with this Mockingjay ornament.

Well, the Mockingjay is a symbol of the rebellion against the Capitol. Yet, it's also a hybrid of a genetically engineered Jabberjay and a Northern Mockingbird.

Well, the Mockingjay is a symbol of the rebellion against the Capitol. Yet, it’s also a hybrid of a genetically engineered Jabberjay and a Northern Mockingbird.

45. Be the ultimate fan with this embroidery of the arena for the 74th Hunger Games.

Now I have to admire the craftsmanship here since it's very detailed. But we have to realize that 22 kids died there. Think about it.

Now I have to admire the craftsmanship here since it’s very detailed. But we have to realize that 22 kids died there. Think about it.

46. Support the rebellion with this Mockingjay bone necklace.

Of course, it's more likely made from shell than bone. But i's nevertheless pretty.

Of course, it’s more likely made from shell than bone. But i’s nevertheless pretty.

47. Nothing brings the Hunger Games spirit than a bottle of Nightlock berries.

Of course, those berries are poisonous that Katniss and Peeta made a suicide pact with them. You know so they wouldn't have to kill one another.

Of course, those berries are poisonous that Katniss and Peeta made a suicide pact with them. You know so they wouldn’t have to kill one another.

48. Remember Peeta’s love for Katniss with Peeta’s pearl necklace.

Said to contain a replica of a pearl before the arena was destroyed and he was captured by the Capitol. What happened to him after that was just so horrifying.

Said to contain a replica of a pearl before the arena was destroyed and he was captured by the Capitol. What happened to him after that was just so horrifying.

49. Remember the Katniss and Peeta romance with this commemorative locket.

Contains a peal, a Mockingjay, an arrow, and a locket. Of course, it's pretty devastating to Katniss that Peeta got captured.

Contains a peal, a Mockingjay, an arrow, and a locket. Of course, it’s pretty devastating to Katniss that Peeta got captured.

50. And in case you’re not fond of circles, they have a square one, as well.

Still, a square one makes sense. I mean it contained at least 3 pictures, consisting of Gale, Prim, and Mrs. Everdeen. Well, read the books, okay?

Still, a square one makes sense. I mean it contained at least 3 pictures, consisting of Gale, Prim, and Mrs. Everdeen. Well, read the books, okay?

51. Show your love for the Hunger Games by collecting these district accessories.

Includes all 13 districts as well as the Capitol. Still, each district is in the shape as its main industry.

Includes all 13 districts as well as the Capitol. Still, each district is in the shape as its main industry.

52. If you like President Snow, then you’ll certainly love his flattering portrait.

I think this is based off a Jennifer Lawrence cell phone photo with pancakes. Still, this picture is just so bad that I couldn't keep it off this post.

I think this is based off a Jennifer Lawrence cell phone photo with pancakes. Still, this picture is just so bad that I couldn’t keep it off this post.

53. May the odds be ever in your favor with these Mockingjay necklaces.

Available in 5 different colors. And they even have a picture to show how they glow.

Available in 5 different colors. And they even have a picture to show how they glow.

54. Keep yourself clean with some Mockingshea soap.

Now this is actually quite clever branding if you think of it. Still, don't know what's with the specks on top.

Now this is actually quite clever branding if you think of it. Still, don’t know what’s with the specks on top.

55. Celebrate your favorite Hunger Games couple with this commemorative mug.

Sorry, but "Peeniss" is an unfortunate couple name for Katniss and Peeta. So is "Katpee." Better to go with "Everlark," "Mellardeen," or "Toast."

Sorry, but “Peeniss” is an unfortunate couple name for Katniss and Peeta. So is “Katpee.” Better to go with “Everlark,” “Mellardeen,” or “Toast.”

56. Cuddle with the “Girl on Fire” with this Katniss amigurumi.

Now this depicts Katniss when she twirls her Catching Fire wedding dress. Still, quite cute.

Now this depicts Katniss when she twirls her Catching Fire wedding dress. Still, quite cute.

57. If you liked “The Hanging Tree,” then you’ll like this pendant.

Of course, I'm not sure if I want to wear a hanging tree around my neck. I mean the song is quite disturbing if you think about it.

Of course, I’m not sure if I want to wear a hanging tree around my neck. I mean the song is quite disturbing if you think about it.

58. Remember the Hunger Games with this charm bracelet.

Seems to have a lot of charms that you'd associate with the Hunger Games. Wonder if you can fit them all.

Seems to have a lot of charms that you’d associate with the Hunger Games. Wonder if you can fit them all.

59. The odds were never in our favor according to this sampler.

Of course, this would be the case in the Hunger Games. There the competition is deadly, literally.

Of course, this would be the case in the Hunger Games. There the competition is deadly, literally.

60. Show your love for the Hunger Games with this hair comb.

Now this looks pretty. Of course, contains the Mockingjay and some beads.

Now this looks pretty. Of course, contains the Mockingjay and some beads.

61. Keep warm with this Hunger Games districts blanket.

Now this one contains the 12 districts as well as the 3 Mockingjay images from the books. Still, wonder how the person had to hold it for the picture.

Now this one contains the 12 districts as well as the 3 Mockingjay images from the books. Still, wonder how the person had to hold it for the picture.

62. If you love the Hunger Games and To Kill a Mockingbird, then you’ll like To Kill a Mockingjay.

Not sure if I'd prefer a book that pertains a fight to the death as well as a lawyer defending an innocent black man. Still, quite clever.

Not sure if I’d prefer a book that pertains a fight to the death as well as a lawyer defending an innocent black man. Still, quite clever.

63. If you like Katniss and Peeta, then you’ll love these clay figurines of them.

Now these are so cute. Just have to love Peeta carrying his little loaf of bread and Katniss with her little bow.

Now these are so cute. Just have to love Peeta carrying his little loaf of bread and Katniss with her little bow.

64. Keep your CDs with this Hunger Games CD holder.

Not sure who still listens to CDs anymore. But still, it looks well made, regardless.

Not sure who still listens to CDs anymore. But still, it looks well made, regardless.

65. May the odds be ever in your favor with this knitted Hunger Games pin.

You have to admire the craftsmanship on this. Still, you wonder whether it will fall off if you actually use it.

You have to admire the craftsmanship on this. Still, you wonder whether it will fall off if you actually use it.

66. Like Rue? Then you’ll love this embroidery piece.

Yes, she's the agile tree climbing tribute from District 11 who Katniss befriended. Still, it's just sad how she was killed like that.

Yes, she’s the agile tree climbing tribute from District 11 who Katniss befriended. Still, it’s just sad how she was killed like that.

67. Remember Rue’s demise with this wreath with her lullaby.

Now this is a lovely wreath. But how Rue died is just so sad, especially how Katniss covered her in flowers.

Now this is a lovely wreath. But how Rue died is just so sad, especially how Katniss covered her in flowers.

68. Bathe yourself with these Hunger Games soaps.

Guess these consist of an arrow, District 12, Peeta's bread, and Rue's flowers and lullaby. And each seems to come in its own tin.

Guess these consist of an arrow, District 12, Peeta’s bread, and Rue’s flowers and lullaby. And each seems to come in its own tin.

69. Be the ultimate fan with this Hunger Games charm bracelet.

Yes, I know it's another charm bracelet. Still, are those purple beads supposed to be nightlock?

Yes, I know it’s another charm bracelet. Still, are those purple beads supposed to be nightlock?

70. Carry your things in this knitted Hunger Games purse.

And it comes with fringes. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship on this one.

And it comes with fringes. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship on this one.

71. Always know the time with this watch necklace inspired by Peeta’s locket.

I'm sure Peeta's locket didn't have a clock. Still, this is rather well made.

I’m sure Peeta’s locket didn’t have a clock. Still, this is rather well made.

72. May the odds be ever in your favor with this District 12 armband.

As far as I can tell, this is made of felt, which doesn't have much elasticity. Then again, perhaps it doubles as a bracelet.

As far as I can tell, this is made of felt, which doesn’t have much elasticity. Then again, perhaps it doubles as a bracelet.

73. May the odds be ever in your favor with this painted wood decoration.

Yes, I'm kind of repeating myself. But that's exactly what this wood image says though.

Yes, I’m kind of repeating myself. But that’s exactly what this wood image says though.

74. Commemorate the Katniss and Peeta love story with these pearl rings.

Available in gold, silver, and bronze. Still, if you don't know the significance of the pearl, then read the books.

Available in gold, silver, and bronze. Still, if you don’t know the significance of the pearl, then read the books.

75. Scrub up with these Tribute Collection soaps from the Fortune Cookie Soap Company.

Now these consist of soaps associated with the first book. For instance, the District 12 soap is coal.

Now these consist of soaps associated with the first book. For instance, the District 12 soap is coal.

76. Bake in the kitchen with this Mellark Bakery apron.

Yes, there's a line with Mellark Bakery stuff. Well, actually a few as I've seen on Pinterest. Don't ask me about it.

Yes, there’s a line with Mellark Bakery stuff. Well, actually a few as I’ve seen on Pinterest. Don’t ask me about it.

77. If you love the Hunger Games, then you’ll certainly love these trinkets.

Consists of Katniss, Peeta, and Gale. Nevertheless, they're all so cute.

Consists of Katniss, Peeta, and Gale. Nevertheless, they’re all so cute.

78. Have tons of fun with these Hunger Games wooden peg dolls.

Now these consist of Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Prim, Effie, Haymitch, Seneca Crane, and President Snow. Still, they're quite cute as you see.

Now these consist of Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Prim, Effie, Haymitch, Seneca Crane, and President Snow. Still, they’re quite cute as you see.

79. Show your love for the Hunger Games with this wire pendant.

Said to be about similar to the size of a penny. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship and detail.

Said to be about similar to the size of a penny. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship and detail.

80. Keep warm this season with your very own Hunger Games quilt.

Now this contains the Mockingjay as well as pieces to look like flames. Quite beautiful and intricate, indeed.

Now this contains the Mockingjay as well as pieces to look like flames. Quite beautiful and intricate, indeed.

Happy Hunger Games Merchandise

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So Nerdvember is off to a great start. Now most franchises have their own line of merchandise and The Hunger Games is no exception to that, especially with the fanbase and success that it has. I mean the books were bestsellers while the movies broke box office records, especially those with female leads. However, when it comes to merchandise, The Hunger Games finds itself in a unique position that poses a lot of problem. Now this has nothing to do with its popularity or whether fans will buy Hunger Games stuff. But rather, the fact that it centers around a story that contains rather disturbing material that fans and merchandisers may have missed. Like the fact that it takes place in a dystopian society that forces teenagers to take part in a televised fight to the death. Not to mention that many of them come from desperate situations like dire poverty like Katniss Everdeen herself. Some Hunger Games merchandise is fine, especially if it has the Mockingjay symbol. But there are some merchandise that is just plain ridiculous that it makes you wonder whether the people selling the stuff know anything about the series and what it’s about. So for your reading and viewing pleasure, here are some of the crazy Hunger Games merchandise you might see if you look hard enough.

  1. Keep warm this season with your very own Hunger Games snuggie.
Of course, this would really come in handy if your family is out of oil and you're too chicken to sign up for tesserae. Yeah, I read the books.

Of course, this would really come in handy if your family is out of oil and you’re too chicken to sign up for tesserae. Yeah, I read the books.

2. Enjoy countless hours of fun with Hunger Games Monopoly.

Of course, instead of having

Of course, instead of having “Go to Jail,” it’s “Treason, Become Avox.” For those who haven’t read the books, you really don’t want to be an Avox. And yes, it’s worse than going to jail. Much worse.

3. Smell like Peeta Mellark with your very own Baker’s Boy cologne.

I'm sure girls are bound to find the smell of burnt and stale bread sexy. Then again, reeking of baked goods might make a guy smell quite nice.

I’m sure girls are bound to find the smell of burnt and stale bread sexy. Then again, reeking of baked goods might make a guy smell quite nice.

4. For those who like to make gargling noises in the sack, an Avox thong is just the ticket.

Because to some people, nothing is sexier than a person who's been enslaved by the Capitol and had their tongue ripped out for committing treason. Yeah, pretty wrong on many levels.

Because to some people, nothing is sexier than a person who’s been enslaved by the Capitol and had their tongue ripped out for committing treason. Yeah, pretty wrong on many levels.

5. Show your love for the franchise with this Hunger Games bra.

I don't know about you but I have no idea why this thing even exists. Bet it leads to jokes like

I don’t know about you but I have no idea why this thing even exists. Bet it leads to jokes like “the odds favor lefty.” Good God.

6. May the odds be ever in your favor with this silver parachute necklace.

From io9:

From io9: “Considering the pain these silver parachutes eventually deliver, isn’t it a wee bit morbid to wear a silver parachute around your neck? Granted this particular parachute necklace is delivering Peeta’s special knock out broth, not death — but wasn’t the parachute symbol was forever tainted after the final book? Just saying.”

7. Show your mutual love for each other and the Hunger Games with Real or Not Real couples jewelry.

Because nothing is more romantic than trying to reconnect with your boyfriend after he's endured months of torture and brainwashing. Oh, and after he's tried to strangle you after being rescued from the Capitol.

Because nothing is more romantic than trying to reconnect with your boyfriend after he’s endured months of torture and brainwashing. Oh, and after he’s tried to strangle you after being rescued from the Capitol.

8. Let everyone know that you’re not someone to piss off with your very own “Muttation in Training” pin.

From io9:

From io9: “So you want The Capitol to murder you for entertainment, rip out your eyes, and turn you into a wolf? Yikes.” Basically sums it up.

9. Make your nails glimmer this year with China Glaze Capitol Colors.

Seriously, I highly doubt that any Hunger Games tributes would care about how their nails look. I mean they're taking part in competition where the competition is deadly, literally. I mean why?

Because teenage girls need to have great looking nails before they’re impaled before their funeral. Seriously, why does this line even exist?

10. Show your love for the Hunger Games with these quality flip flops.

I don't know about you. But I'm sure these shoes will serve no practicality whatsoever in the arena. Might want to stick with tennis shoes.

I don’t know about you. But I’m sure these shoes will serve no practicality whatsoever in the arena. Might want to stick with tennis shoes.

11. Have young girls reenact the Hunger Games with their very own Barbie dolls of Katniss, Effie, Peeta, Finnick, and more.

Then again, Twilight Barbies are probably worse. But still, does Mattel know what the series is about? Doesn't make it less disturbing.

Then again, Twilight Barbies are probably worse. But still, does Mattel know what the series is about? Doesn’t make it less disturbing.

12. Celebrate this Christmas by hanging your very own Hunger Games stocking.

Because nothing says

Because nothing says “peace on earth, good will toward men” like a stocking that says, “kill or be killed.” Yeah, how the Hunger Games fits into that, I have no idea.

13. Introduce your little one to the Hunger Games with a “Kill or Be Killed” baby beanie.

From Zimbio:

From Zimbio: “Want to raise your baby to be a badass nihilist? Start off by with a Hunger Games beanie that will prepare your newborn for a dystopian future where death is just a game.” Yeah, one of the most disturbing baby items I’ve ever seen.

14. Get your own Hunger Games look with Cover Girl’s Capitol Beauty Studio Collection.

Because as any Panem mother said, make sure you have a pretty face for you never know when you'll be impaled by a rival tribute. Seriously, Cover Girl what the fuck were you thinking?

Because as any Panem mother said, make sure you have a pretty face for you never know when you’ll be impaled by a rival tribute and turned into a muttation. Seriously, Cover Girl what the fuck were you thinking?

15. Fan of Haymitch Abernathy? Well, drink your own stuff with your own quality Haymitch mug.

Yes, it's made to look like a Jack Daniels label. And we all know Haymitch is District 12's town drunk. But still, his alcoholism is nothing to joke about after all he's been through.

Yes, it’s made to look like a Jack Daniels label. And we all know Haymitch is District 12’s town drunk. But still, his alcoholism is nothing to joke about after all he’s been through.

16. Like Katniss? Then perhaps you’d like some knee socks with her name on it.

From Zimbio:

From Zimbio: “Nothing too flashy here, just some super cool knee-high socks with Katniss’ name running down the leg. Now wherever you go, Katniss won’t be far behind.” Sounds kind of disturbing doesn’t it?

17. Cook recipes from Panem with your very own Hunger Games cook book.

From Zimbio:

From Zimbio: “A key to survival is knowing how to cook, which is why you’ll want to invest in The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook. Sure, Rue’s Roasted Parsnips, Grilled Tree Rat with Peanut Butter Dipping Sauce, and Plutarch Heavensbee’s Roasted Sucking Pig Surprise might not seem like fine dining, but, come on, Katniss had to eat squirrels for dinner.”

18. Make your home smell like hard liquor with your very own Haymitch scented candle.

Said to smell like rum, whiskey, and bourbon. Add to that PTSD, emotional heartache, and survivor guilt. No wonder he drinks.

Said to smell like rum, whiskey, and bourbon. Add to that PTSD, emotional heartache from losing your family and girlfriend, survivor guilt, and anguish over having to send 46 kids to their deaths. No wonder he drinks.

19. Make your home smell of roses with this President Snow scented candle.

From the label:

From the label: “President Snow may be an evil, ruthless, dictator but he sure smells delightful! His genetically engineered rose smells just as sweet as the real thing, and leaves no lingering taste of blood.” Okay, do you really want your home to smell like a guy fans call “Evil Santa Claus?” Think about it.

20. Survive the wilderness with your very own Hunger Games duffel bag.

Comes in all 12 districts. Perfect for storing weapons and supplies as you hunt down your peers.

Comes in all 12 districts. Perfect for storing weapons and supplies as you hunt down your peers.

21. Step into Capitol fashion with these Hunger Games high heeled shoes.

Well, at least they aren't flip flops and might be of some use for tributes. But once in the arena, then they'll make it easy for your rivals to kill you.

Well, at least they aren’t flip flops and might be of some use for tributes. But once in the arena, then they’ll make it easy for your rivals to kill you.

22. Celebrate the Mockingjay Part 2 premiere with a “Happy Hunger Games” Banner.

Uh, to me the notion, "Happy Hunger Games" is pretty disturbing. Kind of suggests that the Hunger Games are a more festive event instead of the horrible sick show they are.

Uh, to me the notion, “Happy Hunger Games” is pretty disturbing. Kind of suggests that the Hunger Games are a more festive event instead of the horrible sick show they are.

23. Remember, to keep in mind and wish all peace, love, and Hunger Games.

Peace, love, and Hunger Games? What the fuck? Does the designer have any idea that the Hunger Games is the exact opposite of peace and love. War, hate, and Hunger Games would've been more appropriate.

Peace, love, and Hunger Games? What the fuck? Does the designer have any idea that the Hunger Games is the exact opposite of peace and love. War, Hate, and Hunger Games would be more appropriate.

24. Refresh yourself with some Hunger Games H2O spring water.

Then again, it's probably much cleaner than whatever water Katniss has ever drank in her life. Still, it's the preferred drink when you're being chased to death by your peers for sport.

Then again, it’s probably much cleaner than whatever water Katniss has ever drank in her life. Still, it’s the preferred drink when you’re being chased to death by your peers for sport.

25. Support your favorite district in Catching Fire with your very own Victor T-Shirt.

Yeah, I know that hardcore fans may identify with certain districts like Harry Potter fans "sort" themselves into different houses at Hogwarts. However, in Catching Fire, victors from each district were forced to kill other kids to survive the games. Also, does anyone care about non-essential districts like 6? You know the one where the victors were both drug addicts.

Yeah, I know that hardcore fans may identify with certain districts like Harry Potter fans “sort” themselves into different houses at Hogwarts. However, in Catching Fire, victors from each district were forced to kill other kids to survive the games. It’s not like being at Hogwarts. Also, does anyone care about non-essential districts like 6? You know the one where the victors were both drug addicts.

26. Reenact the Hunger Games with your very own Katniss Everdeen action figure.

Now I do think Katniss Everdeen is a feminist role model and a great female character in her own right. However, we should understand that while Katniss may look badass with her bow, she's an unwilling pawn in the Capitol's twisted games. Making her an action figure makes her seem like she's in control but she's not.

Now I do think Katniss Everdeen is a feminist role model and a great female character in her own right. However, we should understand that while Katniss may look badass with her bow, she’s an unwilling pawn in the Capitol’s twisted games. Making her an action figure makes her seem like she’s in control but she’s not.

27. Kids, show your love for the Hunger Games by wearing this “I Love Capitol City” T-shirt.

For the last time, the Hunger Games involves the ritual slaughter of kids slaughtering each other as entertainment for the masses. It's not Harry Potter. Besides, the Panem Capitol is such a den of scum and villainy that it makes Mos Eisley space port look tame in comparison.

For the last time, the Hunger Games involves the ritual slaughter of kids slaughtering each other as entertainment for the masses. It’s not Harry Potter. Besides, the Panem Capitol is such a den of scum and villainy that it makes Mos Eisley space port look tame in comparison.

28. Help your baby be a future tribute with their very own Panem district bibs.

Does anyone think the notion of Hunger Games baby stuff is disturbing? Seriously, the best thing I can say about this that it's from District 12.

Does anyone think the notion of Hunger Games baby stuff is disturbing? Seriously, the best thing I can say about this that it’s from District 12.

29. Clean your hands with some Nightlock hand soap.

You mean the soap from those poison berries that killed Foxface? Uh, no thanks. I'll just keep my hands dirty.

You mean the soap from those poison berries that killed Foxface? Uh, no thanks. I’ll just keep my hands dirty this time.

30. For a more romantic theme, go with a “Real or Not Real” party banner.

Yes, those words might be romantic. But come on, they alone don't detract from the fact at the time Peeta was severely tortured with tracker jacker venom and other mental conditioning that made him almost kill Katniss.

Yes, those words might be romantic. But come on, they alone don’t detract from the fact at the time Peeta was severely tortured with tracker jacker venom and other mental conditioning that made him almost kill Katniss.

31. May the odds be ever in your flavor with this Hunger Games spoon.

I may not be an expert in cutlery. However, as someone who's familiar with the Hunger Games, this is in very poor taste.

I may not be an expert in cutlery. However, as someone who’s familiar with the Hunger Games, this is in very poor taste.

32. This Christmas, decorate your tree with these Hunger Games reaping ball ornaments.

Yeah, those things that have the kids names to select for Reaping Day. Really disturbing if you ask me.

Yeah, those things that have the kids names to select for Reaping Day. Really disturbing if you ask me.

33. Support the Capitol with your very own President Snow bracelet.

From Entertainment Weekly: "Forget Team Peeta and Team Gale, it’s all about Team Snow. Why not show your support for the misunderstood fascist dictator with this rose and Capitol seal bracelet? It is pretty, but isn’t the thought of wearing the emblem of an evil ruler (who doesn’t even have cool magical powers) a little disturbing?"

From Entertainment Weekly: “Forget Team Peeta and Team Gale, it’s all about Team Snow. Why not show your support for the misunderstood fascist dictator with this rose and Capitol seal bracelet? It is pretty, but isn’t the thought of wearing the emblem of an evil ruler (who doesn’t even have cool magical powers) a little disturbing?”

34. Show your support for Team Peeta with these pink panties.

In case you can't read the fine print, it says "A sensitive soul with great buns." Yeah, nothing says support in a death match than wearing their name across your butt.

In case you can’t read the fine print, it says “A sensitive soul…with great buns.” Yeah, nothing says support in a death match than wearing their name across your butt.

35. If you also like Peeta, then you’ll love this pink iphone case.

I'm sure we all do. But still, don't you think such support is kind of ridiculous? Seriously, why?

I’m sure we all do. But still, don’t you think such support is kind of ridiculous? Seriously, why?

36. Nothing shows your support for the Hunger Games than wearing a reaping orb around your neck with a chain.

Come on, why the hell would anyone make this? You know the names that come out usually have a less than 10% chance of coming home alive.

Come on, why the hell would anyone make this? You know the names that come out usually have a less than 10% chance of coming home alive.

37. For Catching Fire, don’t forget to grab some fiery footlongs at your neighborhood Subway.

Of course, this is no longer available but I had to put in. I mean The Hunger Games revolves around post-apocalyptic starvation.  Maybe they should've went with hoagies containing meat from squirrels, rabbits, or rats on burned or stale bread. That would've been more appropriate.

Of course, this is no longer available but I had to put in. I mean The Hunger Games revolves around post-apocalyptic starvation. Maybe they should’ve went with hoagies containing meat from squirrels, rabbits, or rats on burned or stale bread. That would’ve been more appropriate.

38. Show your love for the Hunger Games with these “Mockingjay with Flames” socks.

I know they took the design from the poster. But it kind of looks like the Mockingjay is going down in flames. And we know that Katniss is seen as the Mockingjay.

I know they took the design from the poster. But it kind of looks like the Mockingjay is going down in flames. And we know that Katniss is seen as the Mockingjay.

39. Light up your room with this Hunger Games light bulb.

Really? A Hunger Games light bulb? You're shitting me. Seriously, I'm just wondering how anyone could think of this. Said to cost $15 on Amazon by the way.

Really? A Hunger Games light bulb? You’re shitting me. Seriously, I’m just wondering how anyone could think of this. Said to cost $15 on Amazon by the way.

40. For those who love the Hunger Games, you’ll sure look stunning with Nightlock jewelry.

Because nothing says true love than hoisting these poison berries to you and your boyfriend's mouths and threatening a joint suicide. Didn't see a romanticization of suicide since Romeo and Juliet.

Because nothing says true love than hoisting these poison berries to you and your boyfriend’s mouths and threatening a joint suicide. Didn’t see such a romanticization of teen suicide since Romeo and Juliet.

41. Support the Hunger Games by wearing a pin volunteering your brother as a tribute.

From Entertainment Weekly: "This “I Volunteer My Brother as Tribute” pin makes it clear that you’d sacrifice your brother to avoid having to compete in the Hunger Games yourself." Still, I don't think volunteering works that way.

From Entertainment Weekly: “This “I Volunteer My Brother as Tribute” pin makes it clear that you’d sacrifice your brother to avoid having to compete in the Hunger Games yourself.” Still, I don’t think volunteering works that way.

42. If you’ve been stunned by a tracker jacker, try some antivenom.

Still, I think it might just be body wash. Still, if you're aware tracker jacker stings can cause brain washing, hallucinations, and/or death. Requires immediate treatment with a special kind of leaves.

Still, I think it might just be body wash. Still, if you’re aware tracker jacker stings can cause brain washing, powerful hallucinations, and/or death. Requires immediate treatment with a special kind of leaves.

43. If you like the smell of berries, try some Essence of Nightlock.

For God's sake what's with the Nightlock stuff? Do they have any idea they're poisonous berries Katniss threatened to do a joint suicide with? Seriously, why?

For God’s sake what’s with the Nightlock stuff? Do they have any idea they’re poisonous berries Katniss threatened to do a joint suicide with? Seriously, why?

44. Got chapped lips? Then keep them moist with Catching Fire Red lip gloss.

I think if you're trying to survive the Hunger Games, chapped lips are the last thing you'll probably worry about. Also, you won't use the whole tube anyway.

I think if you’re trying to survive the Hunger Games, chapped lips are the last thing you’ll probably worry about. Also, you won’t use the whole tube anyway.

45. Care for your future peacekeeper with this peacekeeper cadet burp blanket.

Of course, all peacekeepers start out as babies. But seriously, their main job is to maintain law and order and suppress dissent through coercion and brutality.

Of course, all peacekeepers start out as babies. But seriously, their main job is to maintain law and order and suppress dissent through coercion and brutality.

46. For your hunger needs at school, you can always get a Hunger Games lunch box.

Yeah, nothing like a way to honor a series about post-apocalyptic starvation than a thing you put food in. Of course, don't know if that's appropriate for kids in elementary school.

Yeah, nothing like a way to honor a series about post-apocalyptic starvation than a thing you put food in. Of course, don’t know if that’s appropriate for kids in elementary school.

47. With this burp cloth, remember that the odds were never in your baby’s favor.

Well, as far as the Hunger Games is concerned, at least this is honest. But as to why they have Hunger Games baby products, I don't have the slightest idea.

Well, as far as the Hunger Games is concerned, at least this is honest. But as to why they have Hunger Games baby products, I don’t have the slightest idea.

48. May the odds be ever in your favor with this silver parachute necklace.

Yes, this is another silver parachute necklace. But this one also has little compartments. But if you're familiar with the books, it's kind of a macabre piece of jewelry.

Yes, this is another silver parachute necklace. But this one also has little compartments. But if you’re familiar with the books, it’s kind of a macabre piece of jewelry.

49. Celebrate the Hunger Games with your very own Catching Fire chocolate bars.

Hope they're not like the assorted chocolates you eat from a fancy box. Wait a minute, this is promote a movie that deals with post-apocalyptic starvation. Why the hell do they have this?

Hope they’re not like the assorted chocolates you eat from a fancy box. Wait a minute, this is promote a movie that deals with post-apocalyptic starvation. Why the hell do they have this?

50. Create your own Hunger Games story with this magnetic story kit.

Said to contain 250 words only to create quotes from the movies said by Peeta and Katniss. Why they thought this was a good idea, I'll never know.

Said to contain 250 words only to create quotes from the movies said by Peeta and Katniss. Why they thought this was a good idea, I’ll never know.

51. For those who like Peeta, cuddle up with this Peeta pillow case.

Doesn't mean you might fantasize cuddling with Peeta, doesn't mean that a pillow case in his likeness is a good idea. Just saying.

Doesn’t mean you might fantasize cuddling with Peeta, doesn’t mean that a pillow case in his likeness is a good idea. Just saying.

52. Like Katniss, you too, can now have an orange Hunger Games backpack.

From You're Killing Us: "It’s orange, just like Katniss’! Remember how Katniss’ backpack was orange, so people in the arena would be better able to see her in the woods so that they could kill her? Awesome!"

From You’re Killing Us: “It’s orange, just like Katniss’! Remember how Katniss’ backpack was orange, so people in the arena would be better able to see her in the woods so that they could kill her? Awesome!”

53. Toast the Hunger Games with your very own Mockingjay beer stein.

I can totally imagine Haymitch drinking from this. However, I don't think he'd be drinking beer or just beer in that though.

I can totally imagine Haymitch drinking from this. However, I don’t think he’d be drinking beer or just beer in that though.

54. Cuddle up with Peeta with your very own Peeta polar fleece.

Would go nicely with that Peeta pillow case. But really, why have Peeta merchandise when you can get Katniss?

Would go nicely with that Peeta pillow case. But really, why have Peeta merchandise when you can get Katniss?

55. Make your eyes look stunning with these Effie Trinket eyelashes.

So they actually have these. Still, wouldn't want to wear them during a job interview. The HR might think you're tripping.

So they actually have these. Still, wouldn’t want to wear them during a job interview. The HR might think you’re tripping.

56. Wake up in the morning with a Hunger Games whistle mug.

From Virgin Media: "The musical notation version of Rue’s iconic whistle from the films, which means that there are literally about three people in the world who will see, recognize and enjoy this very niche product."

From Virgin Media: “The musical notation version of Rue’s iconic whistle from the films, which means that there are literally about three people in the world who will see, recognize and enjoy this very niche product.”

57. If it’s your thing you can go with some Tracker Jacker Venom.

To be fair, this is soap. But still, tracker jacker venom was what the Capitol used to hijack Peeta's mind so they could use him to kill Katniss. Think about it.

To be fair, this is soap. But still, tracker jacker venom was what the Capitol used to hijack Peeta’s mind so they could use him to kill Katniss. Think about it.

58. Show your love for the Hunger Games with your very own Mockingjay votive candle holder.

Wonder how anyone thought this was a good idea? Guess they thought a shadow mockingjay logo looked cool.

Wonder how anyone thought this was a good idea? Guess they thought a shadow mockingjay logo looked cool.

59. Sleep soundly with your very own District 12 bead spread.

From Zimbio: "You'll sleep soundly every night knowing that Peeta and Katniss are there to protect you. This Hunger Games bedspread is also a total chick magnet, so... win/win." I'm not so sure about that.

From Zimbio: “You’ll sleep soundly every night knowing that Peeta and Katniss are there to protect you. This Hunger Games bedspread is also a total chick magnet, so… win/win.” I’m not so sure about that.

60. Stay dry with your very own flaming Mockingjay umbrella.

From Zimbio: "While the kids in the Hunger Games have to worry about their friends murdering them, real world concerns like inclement weather are much less troubling. And although there's no death protection for the tributes, there is this flaming Mockingjay umbrella to help all of us stay dry."

From Zimbio: “While the kids in the Hunger Games have to worry about their friends murdering them, real world concerns like inclement weather are much less troubling. And although there’s no death protection for the tributes, there is this flaming Mockingjay umbrella to help all of us stay dry.”

May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor Dressed in These Wonderful Hunger Games Costumes

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Now that Halloween is over, I can go back to business as usual. So until Christmas comes around, no more posts about costumes, treats, crafts, or other stuff associated with special occasions. Okay, I’m wrong. Because during the next two months, two major science fiction franchises will dominate the big screen once again. One is an epic ground breaking franchise that changed the reputation of visual effects and science fiction movies in general as well as entertained generations for nearly 40 years. The other is based on a trilogy of young adult novels that were released less than 10 years ago. One is said to be a ripoff from a Japanese movie while the other actually is that even the creator admits it. One franchise will have its next installment after years of mediocre prequels and will unite 3 members of the original cast. The other will release its final installment based on the second part of the last novel. One takes place a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. The other takes place in a dystopian post-apocalyptic society in North America. One franchise involves a rebellion fighting against an evil empire in the midst of outer space and involves droids, jedi, aliens, and intergalactic battles. The other revolves around a rich capital exploiting its districts of resources and retaining control of them by forcing 24 teenagers from these districts in an annual fight to the death on live television. Still, they both involve headstrong heroines in mortal peril having to choose between a scruffy looking, dark, and handsome nerfherder who gets tortured/frozen and a sweet but seemingly wimpy light haired guy who’s not as lame or defenseless as he looks. But only one of these franchises involves a moment of incest. So to celebrate both movie franchise premieres, I have decided to attract both fan bases with my posts for Nerdvember.

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Since Mockingjay Part 2 will be released in theaters on November 20th while Star Wars: The Force Awakens won’t come out until December 18th, I might as well start with The Hunger Games first. Now for those who are unfamiliar with the books or the movies, let me explain. It’s based on a trilogy of young adult novels by Suzanne Collins. The story takes place on a dystopian post-apocalyptic society in North America called Panem with a rich and technologically advanced Capitol exploiting resources from 12 districts to varying levels of poverty that it controls with iron rule. And in order to show who’s in charge, the Capitol punishes these 12 districts for a past rebellion by selecting 2 kids in each district between the ages of 12-18 to battle in a fight to the death on live television everyone’s forced to watch. Our protagonist 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen is from District 12, the poorest of these districts and and has lived in dire poverty since her father died in a mining explosion when she was 11. But unlike most Hunger Games tributes in her district, she volunteers so her 12 year old sister, Prim won’t have to go (her name was picked on the Reaping Day lottery for the girls). However, at the same time, her fellow District 12 tribute, Peeta Mellark has been in love with her since they were kids, though Katniss didn’t take notice until he admitted it on national television (though I have to admit, Peeta’s actions aren’t as dumb as they seem). Themes consist of socio-economic inequality, media manipulation, government corruption and incompetence, lack of agency, violence as entertainment, war, exploitation, imperialism, and bread and circus style politics. And despite the books being catered to kids as young as 11-13, they contain elements like public nudity, decapitation, suicide, torture, mutilation, child prostitution, being buried alive, and other psychologically and emotionally disturbing content. I am not kidding about this. Seriously, read the books and/or watch the movies to see for yourselves. So let’s just say this isn’t a family friendly franchise we’re talking about here. So if you have children under 11 or children under 13 who haven’t read the books, you might want to have them watch Star Wars instead.

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Now as you might see from this glorious picture of Jennifer Lawrence from Catching Fire or almost anything Effie Trinket wears, a significant chunk of the series revolves around fashion. Of course, the poorer districts don’t get a lot of elaborate outfits. But once you get to the Capitol, yeah, you see all kinds of wild and crazy outfits that you’d think you were in the middle of a Lady Gaga music video. Katniss and her fellow tributes themselves even have their own fashion designer and stylists once in the Capitol so they can look pretty on the cameras for interviews. This comes especially for Katniss and tributes from the poorer districts since they basically don’t have the time to worry about their looks or basic hygiene in that matter. Yeah, they have much bigger things to worry about like eating and other basic needs. And yes, tributes do get put in a lot of ridiculous outfits as you might see. Still, the Hunger Games does have its share of fans dressing up as various characters for nerd conventions, Halloween, or their movie premieres. For girls Katniss Everdeen and Effie Trinket are usually popular choices while Ceasar Flickerman and Seneca Crane are the ones I most often see for guys. So for this post I decided to feature costumes from the movies but worn by the fans. Many of these will be DIY just because it more or less shows the creative spirit. So without further adieu, I present a treasury of Hunger Games fans in their costumes. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

  1. In Panem, you always need Peacekeepers to tame the masses, especially at Comic Con.
Now Peacekeepers are the Hunger Games equivalent to Imperial Stormtroopers. Yet, their main function is maintaining order and suppress dissidence through coercion and brutality.

Now Peacekeepers are the Hunger Games equivalent to Imperial Stormtroopers. Yet, their main function is maintaining order and suppress dissidence through coercion and brutality.

2. Now you can dress up like Katniss Everdeen as the Mockingjay.

Of course, this might mean being a figurehead for the Rebellion headed by someone who doesn't really like you. But still, the outfit is badass.

Of course, this might mean being a figurehead for the Rebellion headed by someone who doesn’t really like you. But still, the outfit is badass.

3. If you have two daughters, remember that it doesn’t cost a lot of money to dress them as the Everdeen sisters.

I'm sure Katniss's parents didn't buy most of her costume, especially the bow and ripped up pants. Still, that's an adorable picture.

I’m sure Katniss’s parents didn’t buy most of her costume, especially the bow and ripped up pants. Still, that’s an adorable picture.

4. Remember, it’s never too early to give your daughter archery lessons.

Now this is an adorable Katniss costume, which seems like an easy costume to make. Still, while Katniss Everdeen is a great role model for girls, I'm not sure if she makes a great toddler costume.

Now this is an adorable Katniss costume, which seems like an easy costume to make. Still, while Katniss Everdeen is a great role model for girls, I’m not sure if she makes a great toddler costume.

5. Now Effie Trinket just has to look her best on Reaping Day.

Now you'll see a lot of Effie Trinket in this post for obvious reasons. And yes, it's probably just as fun of a costume to make.

Now you’ll see a lot of Effie Trinket in this post for obvious reasons. And yes, it’s probably just as fun of a costume to make.

6. Hey, I didn’t know that Effie and Haymitch were a couple.

I'm sure Haymitch didn't spend much time or money on his costume, save maybe for the wig. Still, the glass is appropriate since the guy is an alcoholic.

I’m sure Haymitch didn’t spend much time or money on his costume, save maybe for the wig. Still, the glass is appropriate since the guy is an alcoholic. But you can’t blame him.

7. Be the “Girl on Fire” with this Katniss Everdeen costume.

Now this costume is from the first movie. But for safety's sake she had to use a cape of orange cloth and Christmas lights.

Now this costume is from the first movie. But for safety’s sake she had to use a cape of orange cloth and Christmas lights.

8. Of course, if you’re a guy who likes the Hunger Games but don’t want to dress in drag, you can always go as Caesar Flickerman.

Now Caesar Flickerman is a talk show host for the Hunger Game who's played by Stanley Tucci. Of course, he's best known for his blue wig and dazzling smile.

Now Caesar Flickerman is a talk show host for the Hunger Game who’s played by Stanley Tucci. Of course, he’s best known for his blue wig and dazzling smile.

9. Of course, you can make an Effie Trinket costume from just about anything, even newspapers.

Let's just say this would be Effie Trinket if she were promoting an environmental message. Well, if she wasn't too busy selecting tributes for Reaping Day and prepping them for a televised teenage death match.

Let’s just say this would be Effie Trinket if she were promoting an environmental message. Well, if she wasn’t too busy selecting tributes for Reaping Day and prepping them for a televised teenage death match.

10. Of course, a shiny blue dress and green wig will make the perfect Effie Trinket costume.

Of course, you might notice that Effie Trinket is a popular costume. Yeah, as long as you have a puffy silk dress and a funky wig, then you can have your own Effie Trinket costume.

Of course, you might notice that Effie Trinket is a popular costume. Yeah, as long as you have a puffy silk dress and a funky wig, then you can have your own Effie Trinket costume.

11. If you survive the Hunger Games, you’re bound to end up with some scrapes and bruises.

However, all this isn't nearly as bad as the lifetime of PTSD that you'd be dealing with. By the way, this is supposed to be Katniss.

However, all this isn’t nearly as bad as the lifetime of PTSD that you’d be dealing with. By the way, this is supposed to be Katniss.

12. Who knew that Effie Trinket could look so good in pink?

Guess Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games has given a new life to 1980s prom dresses everywhere. Let's just say if you want to dress up as her, it's best to go DIY.

Guess Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games has given a new life to 1980s prom dresses everywhere. Let’s just say if you want to dress up as her, it’s best to go DIY.

13. Who says that Hunger Games cosplay should just be reserved for humans?

Of course, I'm positive that this canine Katniss doesn't need arrows to kill squirrels. It's has stuff to do so like teeth.

Of course, I’m positive that this canine Katniss doesn’t need arrows to kill squirrels. It’s has stuff to do so like teeth.

14. Effie Trinket or Jean Harlow?

Now this is another incarnation of Effie Trinket. But your grandparents might think it's the 1930s platinum blond bombshell who died at 26.

Now this is another incarnation of Effie Trinket. But your grandparents might think it’s the 1930s platinum blond bombshell who died at 26 of kidney failure.

15. Not sure if Effie’s going to tolerate Haymitch’s drinking at this party.

Still, you can't blame Haymitch Abernathy for being alcoholic since he's the last guy from District 12 to win the Hunger Games prior to Katniss and Peeta.  You can guess what he had to deal with.

Still, you can’t blame Haymitch Abernathy for being alcoholic since he’s the last guy from District 12 to win the Hunger Games prior to Katniss and Peeta. You can guess what he had to deal with.

16. Just a couple of Peacekeepers patrolling the area. Nothing to see here.

Now these guys certainly made their own costume as you can tell by the batting helmets and football shoulder pads. Doesn't hurt that they have toy police stuff, too.

Now these guys certainly made their own costume as you can tell by the batting helmets and football shoulder pads. Doesn’t hurt that they have toy police stuff, too.

17. Guess this is a group picture of Katniss with the Capitol prep team.

Weird to see Cinna without gold mascara. Not sure if the Asian girl in the dress is supposed to be Effie though. Still, you can see how fun it is to dress up as someone from the Capitol.

Weird to see Cinna without gold mascara. Not sure if the Asian girl in the dress is supposed to be Effie though. Still, you can see how fun it is to dress up as someone from the Capitol.

18. Is it just me or am I seeing 3 Katniss Everdeens in this one?

I'd watch where they put the arrows if I were a couple of those girls. You never know where you might shoot somebody's eye out.

I’d watch where they put the arrows if I were a couple of those girls. You never know where you might shoot somebody’s eye out.

19. Which will she choose her hunting buddy or the boy with bread?

Of course, you have to like Peeta's costume in this as well as his death glare to Gale. Yeah, the baker's boy isn't as docile as he looks.

Of course, you have to like Peeta’s costume in this as well as his death glare to Gale. Yeah, the baker’s boy isn’t as docile as he looks.

20. As we all know, Katniss Everdeen is the Mockingjay.

And if you're familiar with the events of Catching Fire, you should know that Cinna gets in big trouble for this outfit. Like getting brutally beaten as Katniss enters the Quarter Quell.

And if you’re familiar with the events of Catching Fire, you should know that Cinna gets in big trouble for this outfit. Like getting brutally beaten as Katniss enters the Quarter Quell.

21. When you’re dressed up as Finnick Odair, make sure you have plenty of net.

Finnick Odair appears in Catching Fire as a victor from District 4, which specializes in fishing. Still, he's not a popular costume due to dress code rules like no shirt, no shoes, no service.

Finnick Odair appears in Catching Fire as a victor from District 4, which specializes in fishing. Still, he’s not a popular costume due to dress code rules like no shirt, no shoes, no service.

22. Even girls can dress up as Effie trinket if there’s a white wig involved.

Now that's an adorable costume. Still, I'm sure it didn't cost much to make assuming that she had that outfit to begin with.

Now that’s an adorable costume. Still, I’m sure it didn’t cost much to make assuming that she had that outfit to begin with.

23. If you’re going as Caesar Flickerman, make sure your hair matches your suit.

Now the hair may not have the character. But the glittery suit definitely makes the costume in this case.

Now the hair may not have the character. But the glittery suit definitely makes the costume in this case.

24. Of course, only in the Hunger Games are the more outlandish fashions behind the scenes.

Of course, one of Katniss's prep team members has her skin dyed green. It's not evident in the movies. Still, you have to admit that Seneca Crane does have an awesome beard.

Of course, one of Katniss’s prep team members has her skin dyed green. It’s not evident in the movies. Still, you have to admit that Seneca Crane does have an awesome beard.

25. If you’re a blond guy and your girlfriend’s Katniss, make sure you two are wearing matching windbreakers.

Of course, Katniss is wondering why Peeta isn't wearing a backpack. Still, if you're from the same district, it pays to match.

Of course, Katniss is wondering why Peeta isn’t wearing a backpack. Still, if you’re from the same district, it pays to match.

26. As doggie Effie Trinket says, “May the paws be ever in your favor.”

Still, I don't think Effie wears the Mockingjay pin as I remember. But yeah, that's sure in the real Effie Trinket spirit.

Still, I don’t think Effie wears the Mockingjay pin as I remember. But yeah, that’s sure in the real Effie Trinket spirit.

27. Even in drab, Effie Trinket is still a fun costume.

Just have some old denim clothes and you're all set. Still, in the books, remember that Effie Trinket doesn't defect to District 13, at least in the beginning.

Just have some old denim clothes and you’re all set. Still, in the books, remember that Effie Trinket doesn’t defect to District 13, at least in the beginning.

28. If you want to dress as Katniss, it help if you have a fire dress.

Of course, it's hard to tell which dress she's wearing since she had a few outfits that caught fire. Then again, it might be the wedding dress.

Of course, it’s hard to tell which dress she’s wearing since she had a few outfits that caught fire. Then again, it might be the wedding dress.

29. If you’re Effie Trinket, you can’t have enough butterflies on your dress or hair.

This is modest than what Effie wore in the movie. But it's still quite clever to say the least.

This is modest than what Effie wore in the movie. But it’s still quite clever to say the least.

30. Of course, it’s hard to create your own Katniss wedding dress.

Let's hope this isn't a Hunger Games themed wedding picture. Seriously, I may like the books, but I don't think a Hunger Games wedding is appropriate at all.

Let’s hope this isn’t a Hunger Games themed wedding picture. Seriously, I may like the books, but I don’t think a Hunger Games wedding is appropriate at all.

31. Of course, you can’t rock as Effie Trinket without orange and black.

From what they said about this picture, the woman dressed as Effie is supposed to be a school principal. Let's hope it's for a high school, shall we?

From what they said about this picture, the woman dressed as Effie is supposed to be a school principal. Let’s hope it’s for a high school, shall we?

32. Let’s have some tea and a chat for President Snow.

For those planning on dressing up as President Snow for the Hunger Games movie: You'll probably have no trouble looking for Santa Claus beards this time of year. Still, they don't call Snow "Evil Santa" for nothing.

For those planning on dressing up as President Snow for the Hunger Games movie: You’ll probably have no trouble looking for Santa Claus beards this time of year. Still, they don’t call Snow “Evil Santa” for nothing.

33. Over in the playpen, let’s turn to our very own Caesar Flickerman.

Now that's so adorable. You have to love this costume for God's sake, especially the blue hair.

Now that’s so adorable. You have to love this costume for God’s sake, especially the blue hair and fake microphone.

34. Did I tell you that Effie Trinket really likes Monarch Butterflies?

Now that's a butterfly dress I'm talking about. Well, at least in Effie Trinket's case. Chances are it took a long time to make this costume.

Now that’s a butterfly dress I’m talking about. Well, at least in Effie Trinket’s case. Chances are it took a long time to make this costume.

35. Just because she’s dressed in fishnet stockings doesn’t mean she’s a hooker. She could just be dressing as Effie Trinket.

For some reason, I don't see Effie Trinket in fishnets as very surprising. In fact, I don't think it's a surprise to see her in anything.

For some reason, I don’t see Effie Trinket in fishnets as very surprising. In fact, I don’t think it’s a surprise to see her in anything.

36. When you’re Effie Trinket, always make sure the right dress goes with the right hair.

And I'm sure Effie has plenty of wigs for all the dresses she wears. Yeah, it's kind of a thing at the Capitol. Don't ask.

And I’m sure Effie has plenty of wigs for all the dresses she wears. Yeah, it’s kind of a thing at the Capitol. Don’t ask.

37. Of course, all the Effie Trinkets will have to wait in line.

Caption: "Members of the public turn up at London's Marylebone Station dressed as Effie Trinket as part of 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire' Capitol Costume Competition in which the winner gets to attend the 'Mokingjay: Part 1' premiere."

Caption: “Members of the public turn up at London’s Marylebone Station dressed as Effie Trinket as part of ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ Capitol Costume Competition in which the winner gets to attend the ‘Mokingjay: Part 1’ premiere.”

38. When you’re Effie Trinket, it helps that your hair matches your outfit.

So I guess Effie's at some sort of tea social. Wonder what she'll talk about there. Still, very clever.

So I guess Effie’s at some sort of tea social. Wonder what she’ll talk about there. Still, very clever.

39. Of course, to Effie Trinket, this is business casual.

Yeah, she tend to dress way more elaborately than that. Trust me. This is quite toned down, but not that much.

Yeah, she tend to dress way more elaborately than that. Trust me. This is quite toned down, but not that much.

40. Remember if you’re in the Hunger Games, it pays not the mess with Katniss.

That doesn't mean you won't be killed though. Because we all know the Hunger Games is a fight to the death.

That doesn’t mean you won’t be killed though. Because we all know that in the Hunger Games, the competition is deadly, literally.

41. As long as it looks like flame, you’re good to go with “Girl on Fire.”

Now this is a very cool Katniss costume. Love the flame cape here. Not realistic, but what can you do.

Now this is a very cool Katniss costume. Love the flame cape here. Not realistic, but what can you do.

42. If you have an afro wig, it helps that you dress up as Rue.

In the story, Rue is a tribute from District 11 who befriends Katniss. She's about 12. Still, she doesn't last.

In the story, Rue is a tribute from District 11 who befriends Katniss. She’s about 12. Still, she doesn’t last.

43. When it comes to baby costumes, it’s easy to dress as Finnick.

He may not have a 6 pack but he's certainly adorable. Just watch that he doesn't hurt anybody with the trident.

He may not have a 6 pack but he’s certainly adorable. Just watch that he doesn’t hurt anybody with the trident.

44. Of course, you don’t want to steal baby Katniss’s rattle.

Not sure if I'd trust a baby with a bow and arrow. But you have to admit, this costume is adorable.

Not sure if I’d trust a baby with a bow and arrow. But you have to admit, this costume is adorable.

45. As we all know, the family that does the Hunger Games together, stays together.

You can see this is a mostly boys group here. Not sure what the person in red supposed to be. Johanna? An Avox? One of Katniss's prep team?

You can see this is a mostly boys group here. Not sure what the person in red supposed to be. Johanna? An Avox? One of Katniss’s prep team?

46. Yes, Peeta, rest your weary head on Katniss’s flaming dress.

Of course, that's not real fire. But still, the idea of Peeta resting on a flaming dress kind of makes me uncomfortable.

Of course, that’s not real fire. But still, the idea of Peeta resting on a flaming dress kind of makes me uncomfortable.

47. We all know how Effie Trinket tends to glimmer in gold.

Not sure if Effie Trinket wore such outfit in the movie. But I wouldn't be surprised if she has something like this in her wardrobe.

Not sure if Effie Trinket wore such outfit in the movie. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she has something like this in her wardrobe.

48. When it comes to seeing the Hunger Games, make it a family affair.

Actually don't unless your kids have read the books. Still, you have to love the parents' costumes in this one.

Actually don’t unless your kids have read the books. Still, you have to love the parents’ costumes in this one.

49. When it comes to being the “Girl on Fire” using Christmas lights helps.

Now this looks quite cool as I do say so myself. If you're not familiar with The Hunger Games, you wouldn't get this.

Now this looks quite cool as I do say so myself. If you’re not familiar with The Hunger Games, you wouldn’t get this.

50. Don’t know about you, but it seems that Katniss is a bit creeped out about Seneca Crane and Effie Trinket.

Still, while Seneca Crane doesn't play a big role in the boos, he's loved by the fans nevertheless. Probably because of his beard.

Still, while Seneca Crane doesn’t play a big role in the boos, he’s loved by the fans nevertheless. Probably because of his beard.

51. Who says you can’t wear a wedding dress more than once?

Well, Katniss's wedding dress didn't really have a veil. But still, now that she's made it look like it's burning, she's bound to wear this for many occasions.

Well, Katniss’s wedding dress didn’t really have a veil. But still, now that she’s made it look like it’s burning, she’s bound to wear this for many occasions.

52. You wouldn’t know this but Seneca Crane is said to be a hit with the ladies.

Enjoy being a chick magnet while it lasts, Seneca. Because I'm positive that you won't last beyond the first book. Awesome beard or not.

Enjoy being a chick magnet while it lasts, Seneca. Because I’m positive that you won’t last beyond the first book. Awesome beard or not.

53. Seems like Effie Trinket is in her Sunday best.

Yes, that's Effie Trinket. But still, a bit more toned down than other examples. Yet, I'm sure the pattern does make my eyes sore.

Yes, that’s Effie Trinket. But still, a bit more toned down than other examples. Yet, I’m sure the pattern does make my eyes sore.

54. Like Katniss, a girl’s best friend is her bow.

And by "bow" I mean the one you shoot arrows with to hunt critters or tributes. Katniss knows her way around with that.

And by “bow” I mean the one you shoot arrows with to hunt critters or tributes. Katniss knows her way around with that.

55. Now Effie Trinket has a large closet. But she’s in the mood for blue today.

Yeah, I know I've been showing a lot of Effie Trinket lately. But still she has a lot of outfits and looks as you can see.

Yeah, I know I’ve been showing a lot of Effie Trinket lately. But still she has a lot of outfits and looks as you can see.

56. From District 7 for the Quarter Quell, you have Joanna Mason.

Like Finnick, Johanna first appears in Catching Fire. Her district specializes in lumber. Still, she does make quite an entrance in her intro.

Like Finnick, Johanna first appears in Catching Fire. Her district specializes in lumber. Still, she does make quite an entrance in her intro.

57. Looks a bit short for a Katniss wedding dress, doesn’t it?

Then again, perhaps a tutu is all you need in this situation. Or all you can afford. Still, pretty though.

Then again, perhaps a tutu is all you need in this situation. Or all you can afford. Still, pretty though.

58. With a Katniss wedding dress, you can’t have enough feathers.

Now that's probably the closest I've seen to pertaining to Katniss's wedding dress in the movie. Still, very beautiful though.

Now that’s probably the closest I’ve seen to pertaining to Katniss’s wedding dress in the movie. Still, very beautiful though.

59. Looks like this little Peeta Mellark loves to smile as much as baking bread.

Of course, you can tell it's Peeta because he's a boy and his shirt says "12." Other than that, he might as well be from a different district.

Of course, you can tell it’s Peeta because he’s a boy and his shirt says “12.” Other than that, he might as well be from a different district.

60. Seems like it’s just another day at the Capitol.

And it seems like President Snow had to put in the least amount of effort in his costume. I mean that white beard looks totally real.

And it seems like President Snow had to put in the least amount of effort in his costume. I mean that white beard looks totally real.

61. Here we come to Seneca Crane about to hail a cab.

Yes, Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane has an awesome beard. Unfortunately, that doesn't help him in his situation.

Yes, Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane has an awesome beard. Unfortunately, that doesn’t help him in his situation.

62. Remember to spread your wings like the Mockingjay.

Man, those are very big wings. Must take a lot of feathers. Hope a condor didn't get killed to make that costume. Because it's an endangered species.

Man, those are very big wings. Must take a lot of feathers. Hope a condor didn’t get killed to make that costume. Because it’s an endangered species.

63. In tribute parades, they always make sure the girl and the boy from each district have matching outfits.

Now this is supposed to be Katniss and Peeta from the tribute parade in the first movie. Yeah, the flames really don't look real in this.

Now this is supposed to be Katniss and Peeta from the tribute parade in the first movie. Yeah, the flames really don’t look real in this.

64. For anyone dressing as Peeta, it always helps if your suit has flames.

I don't know about you. But this looks less like Peeta the "Boy with Bread" and more like Peeta the Used Car Salesman. Not sure why.

I don’t know about you. But this looks less like Peeta the “Boy with Bread” and more like Peeta the Used Car Salesman. Not sure why.

65. Of course, you can’t have enough ruffles if you’re Effie Trinket.

No, that's not someone you'd see in Whoville. That's supposed to be Effie Trinket. But yeah, she does dress like that.

No, that’s not someone you’d see in Whoville. That’s supposed to be Effie Trinket. But yeah, she does dress like that.

66. If you’re dressed as Prim, chances are you’ll have a rather easy costume.

All that's required are a skirt, white shirt, pigtails, shoes, and not much else. You can get most of that stuff anywhere.

All that’s required are a skirt, white shirt, pigtails, shoes, and not much else. You can get most of that stuff anywhere.

67. If you like red, then a “girl on fire” dress might be your best bet.

Now Katniss wore the red dress in the first movie. But like the one in the second one, it did catch fire. Yet, it did not transform.

Now Katniss wore the red dress in the first movie. But like the one in the second one, it did catch fire. Yet, it did not transform.

68. For the Quarter Quell tribute parade, you might want to go with a sleek evening dress.

Like the outfit from the first movie, this one, too caught on fire. Still, not sure if I like this outfit better.

Like the outfit from the first movie, this one, too caught on fire. Still, not sure if I like this outfit better.

69. Guess the critters better hide, Katniss is out hunting.

Technically Katniss is poaching for rodents. But since District 12 is so poor, the laws aren't enforced as much. Well, at least at first.

Technically Katniss is poaching for rodents. But since District 12 is so poor, the laws aren’t enforced as much. Well, at least at first.

70. What do you mean you can’t shoot arrows in a red dress?

Of course, Katniss didn't shoot any arrows in a red dress. Well, as far as I know. But it's nice to imagine.

Of course, Katniss didn’t shoot any arrows in a red dress. Well, as far as I know. But it’s nice to imagine.

71. Take a tip from Katniss and don’t shoot arrows until you see the whites of their eyes.

Now this is her wearing a wetsuit from Catching Fire. Yeah, kind of looks dumb but they were aiming for practicality there.

Now this is her wearing a wetsuit from Catching Fire. Yeah, kind of looks dumb but they were aiming for practicality there.

72. Looks like Peeta isn’t too scared being alone in the woods.

Still, Peeta's not as much adept to wilderness survival as Katniss. But his main strength has more to do with PR.

Still, Peeta’s not as much adept to wilderness survival as Katniss. But his main strength has more to do with PR.

73. Yes, I’m sure these people have come with some police escort.

Yes, they're dressed like you'd see people in the Capitol. And yes, they look ridiculous. But that's kind of the point.

Yes, they’re dressed like you’d see people in the Capitol. And yes, they look ridiculous. But that’s kind of the point.

74. Who knew Caesar Flickerman didn’t just wear blue?

Now this is what Caesar Flickerman looked like in Catching Fire. Yes, he's wearing black and his wig is lavender.

Now this is what Caesar Flickerman looked like in Catching Fire. Yes, he’s wearing black and his wig is lavender.

75. Let’s just say you don’t want to get Katniss angry.

Of course, they don't call her "the Girl on Fire" for nothing. And yes, she can kill if she has to. I mean she did survive the Hunger Games.

Of course, they don’t call her “the Girl on Fire” for nothing. And yes, she can kill if she has to. I mean she did survive the Hunger Games.

76. Of course, it’s said the Katniss looks quite nice in red and black.

This might be the only Katniss outfit I haven't shown this far. Still, don't really know what to think of it.

This might be the only Katniss outfit I haven’t shown this far. Still, don’t really know what to think of it.

77. If you’re the Mockingjay, it’s best that you flaunt your wings.

Except if you're in the Capitol during the rebellion. In that case, you better be igcognito and remain so.

Except if you’re in the Capitol during the rebellion. In that case, you better be igcognito and remain so.

78. Seems like Katniss and Peeta are taking a rest.

Well, they better not rest long. Because you know, everyone is basically trying to kill them.

Well, they better not rest long. Because you know, everyone is basically trying to kill them.

79. Of course, you never know what Effie Trinket is going to wear next.

Now while I may think this look might be ridiculous to normal eyes, Effie might thing it's great. Of course, Capitol fashion can be weird like that.

Now while I may think this look might be ridiculous to normal eyes, Effie might thing it’s great. Of course, Capitol fashion can be weird like that.

80. As you might know, you can tell that Katniss and Peeta make a cheap couples costume.

Now when Katniss and her family were starving, it was Peeta who gave her a loaf of burnt bread that his family can't sell. Sure Peeta was better of than she was, but not that much.

Now when Katniss and her family were starving, it was Peeta who gave her a loaf of burnt bread that his family can’t sell. Sure Peeta was better of than she was, but not that much.

Movie Reviews by People Who Take Everything Literally

1. To Kill a Mockingbird: “So disappointed that no birds were killed in this movie. Not even mockingbirds.”

2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: “As an avid bird watcher, I had anticipated to see this movie thinking it was about the nesting habits about cuckoos. Was so pissed that it focused on a bunch of inmates in an insane asylum and their crazy bitch nurse.”

3. Infinitely Polar Bear: “Can’t believe this movie had absolutely nothing to do with polar bears or the Arctic. So disappointed.”

4. A Farewell to Arms: “He has his arms throughout the movie and still has them by the end. Can’t imagine why the title is this when he doesn’t say goodbye to his arms.”

5. The Three Musketeers: “All this movie’s about is four guys with swords, not three guys with muskets.”

6. Gone with the Wind: “More like Gone with the War. Had nothing to do with people losing everything in a tornado.”

7. Fiddler on the Roof: “Well, there’s a fiddler on the roof who sometimes comes down now and then. But he doesn’t really have anything to with the story which focuses on a bunch of Russian Jews instead.”

8. Blazing Saddles: “Why I never got to see anyone set fire on a saddle in this movie, I have no idea.”

9. The Lion in Winter: “Sure it takes place in winter but there’s no snow on the ground. Also, I as so upset that there wasn’t a single lion in it. Just a dysfunctional royal family at Christmas.”

10. Twelve O’Clock High: “I was expecting it to be one of those stoner movies. Instead, it was about a bunch of World War II pilots and their asshole commander who goes nuts. I was so bummed I wanted my money back.”

11. The Seventh Seal: “Instead of watching a movie about adorable seals, I get a depressing Swedish film about a medieval knight playing chess with the Grim Reaper.”

12. Singin’ in the Rain: “Only one scene where there’s actual signing in the rain. The rest is just people singing and talking indoors and something about talkies.”

13. Jewel of the Nile: “Can’t believe this had nothing to do about jewelry in Egypt. The ‘jewel’ in this movie is just some bearded holy man, which doesn’t make any sense to me.”

14. Dances with Wolves: “Well, there’s one scene where Kevin Costner might be dancing with a wolf. But, most of this movie has nothing to do with dancing with wolves. Just about a guy befriending Indians.”

15. Candyman: “Was outraged to see that this movie had nothing to do with a guy who sells candy. Can’t believe it pertains to a murderous ghosts.”

16. Julius Caesar: “Thought this was a biopic about the ancient Roman leader. Instead, it’s about this Brutus guy who’s talked into killing him half-way through and later loses it.”

17. The Brown Bunny: “Assumed that this was a cute animal film about a brown rabbit. After viewing this, I’m grateful I didn’t watch it with my kids.”

18. All Quiet on the Western Front: “From viewing this movie, it seems that the Western Front wasn’t quiet at all.”

19. Of Mice and Men: “Now I get this movie’s about men. But I didn’t see any mice in it.”

20. The Silence of the Lambs: “I’m so pissed that this movie doesn’t have much to do with sheep or lambs. Just an FBI agent and a couple of creepy murderers with fetishes in cannibalism and crossdressing.”

21. Dead Poets Society: “Thought this was about a society pertaining to undead poets. Disappointed to find out it was about a bunch of boarding school boys being taught poetry.”

22. It’s a Wonderful Life: “Not sure if I call the guy’s life anything wonderful. Seems like he led a life where very little seem to go right with him.”

23. The Grapes of Wrath: “Didn’t see any angry grapes in this movie. Just a bunch of poor people.”

24. A Raisin in the Sun: “There is nothing about this movie that has anything to do with raisins in the sun. Just about a black family wanting to move into a new house.”

25. The Man Who Wasn’t There: “How can a movie be about a man who’s not there? Billy Bob Thornton never seems to disappear or anything. Seriously, such concept doesn’t make any sense.”

26. East of Eden: “Had no idea that this wasn’t a biblical movie about Adam and Eve. Just about two brothers and their asshole dad.”

27. Kind Hearts and Coronets: “More like a Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder. Seriously, its more about killing family members and carrying on with your ex-girlfriend than anything about nice people and trumpets.”

28. Splendor in the Grass: “Doesn’t really have much to do with having any splendor in the grass. Just about two teenagers who break up and move on with other people. Oh, and the girl tries to commit suicide.”

29. No Country for Old Men: “Didn’t see a single senior citizen in this whole movie. More like an emotionless serial killer on a rampage.”

30. The Last King of Scotland: “So pissed off that it has nothing to do with the decline and fall of the Scottish monarchy. In fact, this movie isn’t set in Scotland at all, but in Uganda and it’s about Idi Amin.”

31. My Life as a Dog: “Can’t believe it’s not a body swap comedy involving an owner and canine. Just a Swedish coming of age film.”

32. The Ref: “Was expecting this movie to be about the ups and downs of a sports referee. Instead it’s about a fugitive crook who kidnaps a dysfunctional married couple.”

33. A Clockwork Orange: “Was deeply disappointed that this movie had nothing to do with the workings of orange clocks.”

34. JFK: “So distraught that this movie wasn’t a biopic about John F. Kennedy. It’s just about a guy who has some crazy theory about who killed him.”

35. Chariots of Fire: “Was bummed out that this movie didn’t feature fiery chariots, instead of a bunch of British guys competing in the Olympics.”

36. Reservoir Dogs: “I was so upset that this movie had nothing to do with the lives of dogs near reservoirs. Just a film about sadistic criminals with color coded names and suits.”

37. It Happened One Night: “Movie spans several nights with none being ever significant to the plot than any other. Should be more like It Happened Over a Road Trip.”

38. Straw Dogs: “Pissed off that this movie had nothing to do with straw dogs or even dogs or straw. What the hell?”

39. The Room: “Should really be called The Building since it takes place in several rooms no significant than the other.”

40. The Postman Always Rings Twice: “There are no mailmen or doorbells in this movie. So there’s no way to see a postman always ringing twice. It should be titled The Drifter and the Woman Who Wants to Kill Her Husband So She Can Get Everything.”

41. Jurassic Park: “But if it’s called Jurassic Park, then why do most of the dinosaurs seem to be from the Cretaceous period? Shouldn’t it be Cretaceous Park?”

42. The Big Sleep: “No one in this movie ever seems to be taking a long nap or be in a coma. In fact, this movie has very little to do with anything relating to sleep whatsoever.”

43. Christmas Vacation: “The family doesn’t go anywhere for Christmas. Just has their relatives spend Christmas with them.”

44. Captain Horatio Hornblower: “I was initially outraged why TCM would ever air a movie that sounds like a gay porn. Turns out it’s just about a naval officer with a porn character name and isn’t seen engage in any gay sex whatsoever. In fact, he ain’t even gay.”

45. The Keys to the Kingdom: “He never gets any keys and he doesn’t visit any kingdom. Just a priest who’s sent to China. So bummed.”

46. Little Women: “About teenage girls, not female midgets. Okay, female dwarfs, are you happy?”

47. The Princess Bride: “More like a prince’s fiancee to me. Besides, she doesn’t really marry him anyway.”

48. Fargo: “There’s only one scene set in Fargo in the beginning. The rest of the movie takes place in Minnesota.”

49. Leave Her To Heaven: “A more appropriate title for this movie would be Leave Her to Hell.”

50. M. A. S. H.: “Initially thought that this movie was about potatoes. It’s not. It’s about an army hospital camp.”

51. The Fault of Our Stars: “Seems like this movie has nothing about the character flaws of celestial fireballs.”

52. For Whom the Bell Tolls: “Doesn’t seem to have anything to do with bell ringing or tolls. More like people hiding in places and shooting at each other.”

53. Inherit the Wind: “How can you inherit wind? Also, this movie has nothing to do with inheritance or wind. Just a trial of a science teacher arrested for teaching evolution in school.”

54. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape: “Apparently nothing is eating Gilbert Grape. It’s just that he’s a young man with way too many responsibilities like a mentally handicapped brother and a grossly overweight mom.”

55. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?: “Contrary to my initial assumptions, this isn’t a biopic about the famed bisexual British novelist who went nuts and drowned herself. It’s actually about a couple of emotionally dysfunctional alcoholics hosting a dinner party.”

56. The Man with the Golden Arm: “For God’s sake, Frank Sinatra’s hand isn’t made out of gold in this! Rather, he’s more of a druggie.”

57. Dr. Strangelove: “Was expecting a hippie stoner movie with this one. Turns out this is a Cold War satire. And Dr. Strangelove is actually a Nazi scientist, not a drug dealer. Go figure.”

58. 12 Angry Men: “It’s about twelve men all right. But not all of them are angry.”

59. A Mighty Wind: “Just a movie about a bunch of folksingers doing a PBS special. Has nothing to do with windstorms.”

60. Now, Voyager: “Thought this was a Star Trek movie. Turns out to be about a rich girl getting a makeover and having an affair.”

61. The Agony and the Ecstasy: “Was expecting this movie to be about the ups and downs on experimenting with rave drugs. Is actually a biopic of Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Not sure which I would prefer.”

62. The Neverending Story: “It ends. So disappointed.”

63. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof: “So bummed that it didn’t have any cats in it. And I’m sure that house in the movie doesn’t have tin roof.”

64. Life of Pi: “Was so disappointed that this movie didn’t feature one single pie. Instead it was about a young man stuck on a boat with a tiger.”

65. A Streetcar Named Desire: “Well, there’s a streetcar in it but it has very little to do with the movie. The rest focuses on an abusive husband and a blonde lady going crazy.”

66. Moonrise Kingdom: “There’s no moon rising and there’s no kingdom. So what kind of movie is this?”

67. The Godfather: “I’m sorry but Marlon Brando doesn’t look like a god to me in this one.”

68. Romancing the Stone: “Can’t see how anyone could romance a stone? Well, there’s romance and a stone involved but they tend to seem rather unrelated.”

69. Mommie Dearest: “The mother in this film is anything but.”

70. The Ladykillers: “The lady in this movie is still alive by the end. I wouldn’t say the same for the guys though.”

71. Iron Man: “Doesn’t seem this guy is made of iron or has anything made from iron either.”

72. Gravity: “Most of this movie’s spent in space where everything’s floating. Doesn’t seem to have much gravity at all.”

73. Star Wars: “Nowhere in this movie do I ever see stars actually fighting each other. Really disappoints me because I think a star battle would be awesome.”

74. Adam’s Rib: “So bummed that this movie had nothing to do with a guy’s rib. Was all about a courtroom trial and marital problems.”

75. The Big Chill: “Disappointed that it has nothing to with a snowstorm where at least one of the characters freeze to death. Just about a bunch of guys attending their friend’s funeral.”

76. Baby Doll: “So bummed that this movie had nothing to do with an actual baby doll. Just about a teenage bride.”

77. The African Queen: “Expected this movie to be about an actual queen in Africa. Turns out it’s just the name of a boat that falls apart throughout the movie.”

78. All the King’s Men: “I’m sorry but I was quite disappointed to watch this movie and find out that it had nothing to do with a king of any kind whatsoever.”

79. Chinatown: “Most of the movie doesn’t even take place in Chinatown. It just ends there.”

80. Days of Wine and Roses: “More like Days of Wine and Anything Else with Alcohol in It. Not much roses.”

81. Dead Man Walking: “Was so disappointed that this movie wasn’t a zombie flick.”

82. The Deer Hunter: “Was expecting this movie to be a guy on a deer hunting trip. Well, they hunt a deer but they spend most of the movie as soldiers in Vietnam.”

83. Dirty Harry: “Hate to say this, but Harry looks quite clean throughout the film.”

84. The English Patient: “The only thing that makes this guy English is that he’s played by a guy with an English accent. He’s actually Hungarian.”

85. Giant: “Was so disappointed that I didn’t see a single giant in this movie.”

86. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: “Yes, but this movie also says they’re willing to settle for brunettes.”

87. Goldfinger: “The man may love gold but he doesn’t have any golden fingers at all.”

88. The Great Dictator: “Not sure if I’d call the dictator in this movie great. He seems like a total idiot with delusions of grandeur.”

89. Hannah and Her Sisters: “More like Hannah, Her Sisters, Her Husband, and Ex-Husband. In fact, this movie doesn’t focus much on Hannah at all.”

90. How Green Was My Valley: “Since this movie’s takes place in a coal mining town, I doubt if the valley in question can ever be green.”

91. Fifty Shades of Grey: “Has a lot of gray in it, but I think fifty shades isn’t a correct estimate.”

92. Last Tango in Paris: “Unlike what I expected, it has nothing to do with old people dancing the tango in Paris.”

93. The Leopard: “Not only I’m angry that I didn’t see a single leopard in this movie, I’m also upset that it takes place where you’d never see them in the wild. Not only that, but it has nothing to do with animals ever.”

94. Two Women: “More like One Woman and One Teenage Girl.”

95. The Little Foxes: “Was so upset that this movie had nothing to do with miniature foxes, which I greatly anticipated.”

96. The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner: “I’m not sure if this long distance runner is lonely. Seems more like he wants to be left alone.”

97. The Last American Hero: “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Also, he doesn’t really save anyone from a burning building so how can he be considered a hero?”

98. Little Caesar: “Disappointed that this movie had nothing to do with a life of a diminutive Roman Emperor. Instead I get a movie about a 1920s gangster.”

99. Animal House: “Was so upset that this had nothing to do with a house filled with animals, which would’ve been much less dangerous than a bunch of college frat boys.”

100. The Ox-Bow Incident: “So disappointed that this movie had nothing to do with an incident relating to an ox or a bow.”

101. Paint Your Wagon: “Has nothing to do with painting wagons. More like a musical about wife sharing in the Old West.”

102. The Purple Rose of Cairo: “This movie wasn’t set in Cairo where I’m sure they don’t have purple roses either.”

103. The Quiet Man: “The man in this movie seems quite noisy for a man who’s supposed to be silent.”

104. Rain Man: “Sadly, this movie isn’t about a man who can make it rain, which would’ve been awesome.”

105. Saturday Night Fever: “Seems like this guy is perfectly fine to go dancing on a Saturday night. Not sure what kind of sickness he has.”

106. The Snake Pit: “Very disappointed that nobody was thrown into a pit of snakes during this movie.”

107. Spellbound: “Disappointed that this movie didn’t have any wizards or spelling bees.”

108. The 39 Steps: “There might be more than that in this movie. Not sure what they mean by ‘steps’ as by plans, stairs, or paces.”

109. Tootsie: “Unfortunately, contrary to what I’d hope, this movie has nothing to do with making those chocolate caramel candies you give to trick-or-treaters which look like animal turds.”

110. Trainspotting: “Disappointed that this movie had nothing to do people who like watching trains, which I think is a better activity than shooting up heroin.”

111. The War of the Roses: “Unfortunately, I was so disappointed that this movie was about a materialistic and hostile couple getting a divorce instead of a 15th century series of conflicts that brought down the Plantagenets.”

112. The Whales of August: “Expected a movie about the summer lives of whales. Instead I got a movie about two old sisters on vacation.”

113. Wild Strawberries: “Hate to say this, but I’m not sure if wild strawberries are the main focus in this film. Especially since it looks like a Swedish road trip movie and not a fun one at that.”

114. The Hunger Games: “Thought this was a movie about the world of competitive eating. But I was wrong since it’s actually about a dystopian competition in which teenagers fight to the death.”

115. Raging Bulls: “Unfortunately, it’s a boxing movie. Not a film about a very angry bull wreaking havoc wherever he goes.”

116. Back to the Future: “Movie takes place in the present where two characters travel to the past before returning to the present. So I don’t see how future figures into it.”

117. Life Is Beautiful: “Apparently not in this movie.”

118. A Fish Called Wanda: “Yes, there’s a fish called Wanda, but it’s not the biggest focus on the story, which involves humans.”

119. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: “Was so bummed that this movie had nothing to do with how much the underwater sea creatures enjoy baseball.”

120. Brokeback Mountain: “Apparently not a mountain where its climbers suffer debilitating spinal injuries.”

121. Breakfast at Tiffany’s: “Seems like the two leads spend very little time having breakfast. And Audrey Hepburn’s character isn’t named Tiffany.”

122. Bottle Rocket: “Nowhere in this movie do I see anyone making or using a rocket derived from bottles.”

123. Secondhand Lions: “Was so bummed that I didn’t see any lions at all in this movie, old, secondhand, or otherwise. Also doesn’t take place in Africa.”

124. Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai: “So upset that this wasn’t a movie about a samurai and his paranormal canine friends.”

125. The Squid and the Whale: “Too bad that this film is more about a dysfunctional New York family than anything to do ocean life, particularly pertaining to mollusks or marine mammals.”

126. Cinderella Man: “Thought this movie was a gender flipped version of a classic fairy tale. Instead it’s about boxing.”

127. The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing: “Thought this was a wholesome family film about an enthusiast in feline choreography. Instead it’s a revenge story about a man seeking revenge for the rape and murder of his wife which isn’t for kids.”

128. There Be Dragons: “Was expecting a mystical dark fantasy movie with wizards, sorcery kings, and dragons. However, this film features nothing of the sort.”

129. The Ghost and the Darkness: “Thought this was one of those haunted house horror movies you’d see on Halloween. Instead, it’s a film about maneating lions in Africa.”

130. The World’s Fastest Indian: “Disappointed that I didn’t see a single speedy Indian in this film.”

131. The Constant Gardener: “I’m not sure if he likes gardening. But if he does, he doesn’t seem to spend a lot of time on it.”

132. High Noon: “Thought this was a stoner film about tripping during the midday. It’s actually a western about a guy surrounded by chickenshits.

133. Octopussy: “Initially thought it was either a porn involving an octopus or a movie pertaining to an eight headed cat. It’s actually a James Bond film who’s love interest is the title character.”

134. Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx: “Was so disappointed that this movie had nothing to do with Duck Tales or anything to do with ducks in New York.”

135. Riding in Cars with Boys: “Apparently, it doesn’t involve Drew Barrymore spending various time with guys inside automobiles. So disappointing.”

136. Operation Dumbo Drop: “Thought this was a Disney sequel to Dumbo in which he loses the ability to fly at an inopportune moment. So bummed that it wasn’t.”

137. Teaching Mrs. Tingle: “Apparently, I assumed that this was a movie based on a little-known book by either Dr. Seuss or Roald Dahl. It’s actually neither and probably not for younger children.”

138. Quantum of Solace: “Thought this was a movie about a physicist who had to come to turns with his grief. Instead, it turns out to be one of those James Bond movies.”

139. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium: “When I heard about this movie, I assumed it was about some high profile LSD drug lord from the 1940s.”

140. They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?: “Was so disappointed by the lack of mass equine slaughter in this movie, which is about a dance competition.”

141. Cloverfield: “Assumed this movie took place in a nice quiet meadow where nothing happens. It’s actually a disaster film.”

142. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants: “Thought this was a film about what happens to your pants after dropping it off at the dry cleaner. Actually it’s one about a group of friends sharing a pair of jeans. Not sure which I’d prefer.”

143. There Will Be Blood: “Well, there is but it’s not as much as I hoped for, especially since I was expecting this to be a slasher horror film.”

144. Children of the Corn: “Was disappointed that the children in this movie didn’t have kernel faces or husk hair.”

145. The Green Mile: “Have no idea how such a mile can be green. Also, surprised this movie takes place in a prison.”

146. Birdman of Alcatraz: “Well, he keeps birds and is in Alcatraz. But he doesn’t keep birds at Alcatraz. So why is it called Birdman of Alcatraz?”

147. Wag the Dog: “Hate to say this, but I was bummed that this wasn’t a family friendly flick with a dog in it.”

148. Failure to Launch: “Very peeved that this movie had nothing to do with anything pertaining to launching rockets or a space program. Just a stupid romantic comedy with Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker.”

149. Herbie: Fully Loaded: “Bummed that this movie had nothing do with being a comedy about a drunk or serial killer named Herbie. Just a movie about a crazy car with Lindsay Lohan.”

150. Free Willy: “I was shocked when I saw such a pornographic could be aired on family friendly TV stations. Then I found out it was G-rated flick about freeing a whale.”

Bad Movie Sisters

Now while compiling a post on terrible movie brothers was easy, I couldn’t say the same about the sisters since women don’t have as much screen presence in movies as men do. So if some of these sisters seem to be less terrible than the brothers, it’s mainly because finding bad movie sisters were fairly hard to find. Nevertheless, movie sisters have also had a prominent presence in movies from Little Women to Frozen. But while some sisters tend to be best friends, others could be at each other’s throats. But while some may have to deal with annoying sisters at some point of their lives (like myself), this post will make anyone feel better about their female siblings since these girls can range from backstabbers, homicidal maniacs, outright nuts, or a bit of all three. Some of them can be even downright selfish and irresponsible in their sisterly ways. So if you’re the kid with the worst sister ever, let’s just say this post will make you feel better because it’s very likely that your sister is certainly not as bad as these ladies. Half-sisters, stepsisters, and adopted sisters are included as well. Aunts count, too, if sibling ties can be established since being a bad aunt is almost synonymous with being a bad sister, even if they direct their vileness toward their sibling’s kids which is every parent’s worst nightmare. So without further adieu, here are the bad sisters that will put your annoying and mean sisters to shame.

1. Blanche and Baby Jane Hudson

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From: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

The Problem: Sometimes sibling rivalries never die. Still, whatever ups and downs me and my sister I have, I’m grateful that our relationship isn’t like this. Of course, it’s very obvious that Baby Jane is the sister from hell since she’s a mentally disturbed alcoholic who has despised the now paralyzed Blanche since their showbiz days and absolutely loathes taking care of her. She’s also never gotten over her days as a child star despite being well into middle age and not aging gracefully. Then again, we’re not sure that she’s aware everyone has entirely forgotten about her contrary to her older sister Blanche. But when she learns that Blanche intends to sell the house and send her to a sanitarium, things really go downhill. Whether it’s serving Blanche her pet parakeet or a rat for din-din, it’s easy to sympathize with her older sister, especially as Jane gets more physically and emotionally abusive toward her as the film progresses. She also forges Blanche’s signature on checks, cuts her from any possible communication, beats her unconscious, ties her to a bed, and kills the suspicious cleaning lady. However, Blanche isn’t completely innocent either since she had been endlessly bitter of how Jane was treated as a child and how Jane had to make a movie every time her older sister was in one (with every flop damaging Blanche’s career). When Blanche had enough, she tried run over Jane but ended up crippling herself in a way to make her little sister look responsible. And to make things worse, Jane was too drunk to remember that night so Blanche basically forces her to live in guilt and wait on her hand and foot for the next 30 years. So between these two sisters, I’m not sure which one is worse.

2. Petunia Dursley

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From: The Harry Potter series

The Problem: Now Petunia is more of an aunt than a sister in the series. But her bad feelings for her sister Lily are basically the reason why she treats her nephew Harry Potter so badly. Sure Petunia probably didn’t have it easy growing up with a Muggle born witch said to be prettier and smarter than she was. And it doesn’t help that she spoils her own son rotten and basically lets Dudley bully Harry for years while her nephew slept in a cupboard under the stairs and endured tons of abuse. She is particularly a bitch in the fact she lied to Harry about his parents dying in a car crash. Oh, and because of Lily, she doesn’t take to kindly to Harry having any magical powers. Not to mention, you have her husband Vernon who’s basically a social climbing, materialistic villain in the true Roald Dahlesque style. Still, just because you and your sister didn’t get along is no excuse to abuse her kid, magical or not. Of course, if you didn’t read the book, in Book 5 Harry fights off a group of Dementors who tried to take Dudley’s soul only to be unmerciously subjected to an expulsion hearing. Nevertheless, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley were thinking about kicking Harry out of the house until Dumbledore sends Petunia a howler. Yes, it got to that.

3. Carmen Sternwood

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From: The Big Sleep

The Problem: If this movie was a romantic comedy, then Carmen would be nothing more than mere embarrassment for her older sister Vivian Rutledge who’s basically protecting her from her own mistakes. Of course, from the very beginning, it’s that something’s really not right with her. When we first see her, she already owes gambling debts to a bookseller named Geiger as well as poses for his naked photo shoots (for his illegal porn operation) and possibly other things (since she’s found drugged at his home). When Geiger is found dead, Vivian shows up at Philip Marlowe’s office with these photos she received as well as a blackmail demand for the negatives. But Carmen demands the photos. Nevertheless, as Marlowe and Vivian develop a relationship, Carmen tries to get Marlowe to sleep with her but he throws her out. Still, it’s later revealed that Vivian was blackmailed because she suspected Carmen to have killed a friend of their dad’s who disappeared a month ago named Sean Regan. And it’s vaguely implied that this might be true since she’s kind of an unstable nympho to begin with. No wonder Vivian thinks her sister might need psychiatric help. Of course, in the original Raymond Chandler book, she’s even worse.

4. Briony Tallis

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From: Atonement

The Problem: Now Briony is perhaps an immature and nosy teenage girl but what she does really causes a lot of problems for her sister Cecilia especially when it comes to her relationship with servant’s son Robbie Turner. Now Briony has a crush on Robbie who has her send a sexually explicit letter to his sister, which makes her disgusted and jealous. But she also suspects that Robbie is sexually harassing Cecilia even though he’s really not. So when her cousin Lola is nearly raped (by a stranger), Briony uses the occasion as revenge by framing her sister’s boyfriend of the crime as well as shows his dirty letter. This results in Robbie being arrested and sent to prison until WWII on the condition he join the army. Cecilia never forgives her for this. On discovering Robbie’s innocence, Briony is so guilty of this that she wrote the story about them which gives her sister and Robbie a happy ending, even though they never really saw each other after Robbie left for war and they both died in 1940. Yeah, so because of Briony, Cecilia never had any chance for happiness (or so she thinks).

5. Kathryrn Merteuil

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From: Cruel Intentions

The Problem: Now Kathryn seems like a popular, well-adjusted young woman, devout Christian, and Student Body President at Manchester Prep. However, she’s more or less a bulimic, a drug addict, alcoholic, oversexed, and a manipulative mastermind who prides herself on destroying other people’s lives as well as controlling them to suit her own ends. For instance, she persuades a lot of her female classmates to sleep around so she could ruin their reputations. In short, she’s a cold hearted sociopathic troublemaker. Yet, only stepbrother Sebastian Valmont realizes this even though they both share a twisted attraction to each other. The whole plot revolves around Kathryn making a bet that she’d sleep with him only if he could nail the headmaster’s daughter. And if he doesn’t she’d get his vintage car. But he ends up falling in love with her instead. Jealous, Kathryn taunts him and threatens to ruin his girlfriend’s reputation so he breaks up with her. Kathryn then reveals she knew he loved her all along compelling Sebastian to say that he wants nothing to do with her. When he leaves, she tells another guy that he hit her and slept with another classmate, which results in a fight (which she intends that Sebastian won’t survive). Annette tries to stop it and is thrown in the middle of traffic but Sebastian pushes her away and is fatally hit by a cab. Luckily Sebastian has kept a journal about this and Kathryn gets her comeuppance (well, sort of).

6. Goneril and Regan

From: King Lear

The Problem: These two girls are basically the closest thing to the Celtic equivalent of Veda Pierce. Seriously, Goneril and Regan make Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters seem like the Crawley girls in comparison. Now the play kicks off when their regal daddy King Lear announces his intention to retire from power. Since he has no sons, Lear decides to divide his realm among his 3 daughters who will receive a share as long as they express their love for him. Seizing their chance for some of their daddy’s royal real estate, they successfully flatter him with their sentimental bullshit. Younger sister, Cordelia, on the other hand, basically tells her dad that the whole thing is bullshit and refuses to partake (well, she doesn’t say it that way but it’s exactly what she thinks). This results in her being banished to France where she marries the king. But having daddy’s real estate isn’t enough for Goneril and Regan. They’re both obsessed with power that they want to overthrow their old man, too. But it’s the only thing that unites them. When Lear resolves to divvy his time between his 2 oldest daughters and their husbands, both say that their declarations of love were fake, see their dad as a foolish old man, and refuse to grant him residence. Once Cordelia’s new husband makes landfall in Britain to help Lear (with an army), Goneril and Regan engage in a war resulting in the death and capture of Regan’s husband, their crazy old dad, their little sister Cordelia, and themselves once Edmund starts sleeping with them. I mean if Goneril didn’t poison Regan first, Regan would’ve done the same.

7. Bianca Minola

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From: The Taming of the Shrew

The Problem: So you’re headstrong Katarina and your sister Bianca wants to get married to a guy she has just met. However, in order for that to happen your dad has to marry you off first, which is going to be challenging. Not to worry, your sister’s boyfriend has a guy picked out for you named Petruchio who’s willing to marry you for a bet and your large dowry. Of course, you don’t want to get married but since Bianca is a little manipulator who’s got your dad twisted around her little finger and the fact you’re such a brat wanting attention that he’ll marry you off to just about any guy willing to take you, you don’t have much choice. Unfortunately, Petruchio has set up your first days together as a merry go round of neglect and emotional torture that will break your spirits into the ideal wife. Prepare to spend your days being denied food until you agree to everything Petruchio says. Still, you know that her being obedient and sweet temperance is just an act so she could get what she wants, even if it’s at your expense, so welcome to hell, Katarina.

8. Delia Lovell Ralston

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From: The Old Maid

The Problem: Well, Delia is actually Charlotte’s cousin but you wouldn’t really know that since they seem to be sisters in all but in the biological sense. But Charlotte has had to live in Delia’s shadow all her life. Nevertheless, during the course of the movie Charlotte gets knocked up by Delia’s ex on the rebound (who’s conveniently killed off-screen) and has a daughter named Tina she loves very much. In fact, she gives up the chance of marrying a guy than give her up for adoption. And when Delia’s husband dies, she lets Charlotte and Tina move in. Still, unaware that Charlotte’s her real mom, Tina refers to Delia as her mom and Charlotte as her aunt, much to Charlotte’s dismay. This goes on for years and Delia does nothing to correct this and as a result, Tina tends to resent Charlotte who feels that she has to play the role of a stern spinster aunt. And when Tina is engaged, Delia formally adopts her to give her a more reputable name. Nevertheless, while Delia makes up for it in the end, it’s still pretty disconcerting that she stole Charlotte’s kid and basically robbed her cousin from forming a close mother-daughter relationship with her.

9. Esther Coleman

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From: Orphan

The Problem: Seems like the Colemans should’ve checked with the orphanage before deciding on 9-year-old Esther. Or at least have gotten a puppy. Sure she may seem so polite and creative as well as perhaps the sensitivity and charm that can thaw frozen hearts. However, she’s actually a manipulative sociopath with no morals that her casually dropping f-bombs in everyday conversation is the least worrying thing about her. Well, that along with cutting the flowers that her adoptive parents have scattered over the remains of their stillborn child and presenting them to adoptive father John in a bouquet. Not to mention, reading excerpts of her adoptive mother Kate’s diary regarding her miscarriage out loud. Nevertheless, she’s basically a sister and daughter from hell that would make Veda Pierce look like a Girl Scout. She threatens to castrate older brother Danny and burns his treehouse with him in it. Luckily he survives. She also pulls the emergency break on her deaf little sister Max and let it slide down the hill. As for the parents, she breaks her own arm in a vise and blames Kate for it as well as tries to murder the entire family so she can have John to herself. But she kills him when he refuses her advances. Oh, and did I tell you that she’s really not what she seems?

10. Regina Hubbard Giddens

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From: The Little Foxes

The Problem: To be fair, Regina does live in the early 20th century South where inheritance was reserved for sons, institutionalized gold digging was a thing, and her brothers are just as greedy and morally bankrupt as she is. Besides, she hates having to depend on a husband she doesn’t love. So when Oscar and Benjamin want to build a cotton mill, they’re willing to either settle for $75,000 from her husband Horace and possibly a marriage between Oscar’s son Leo and her daughter Alexandra, which neither Alexander nor Horace approve. However, Horace isn’t interested in the project which leads to Ben and Oscar stealing his railroad bonds via Leo. But while Horace is willing to forgive his relatives and change his will, Regina sees this situation as a way for screwing them over. So she waits for Horace to die of a heart attack after she riles him so nobody would contradict her. She then accuses her brothers of the theft as well as blackmails them into giving her 75% ownership of their new business venture. The brothers are left with no choice but to give in. Sure the Hubbard brothers weren’t nice people and got everything they deserved. But her daughter Alexandra is absolutely horrified by what she done so she runs off with a newspaperman leaving Regina independently wealthy but alone. Still, even though you might root for Regina for being a magnificent bitch she is, you have to wonder if she’s perhaps as despicable as her brothers or possibly worse.

11. Sarah Williams

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From: Labyrinth

The Problem: To be fair, Sarah’s had a rough adolescence and it’s understandable that she hides from life with fantasy tales to the point of dressing up in long flowing dresses and acting bits of script in a park. Of course, she’s a teenage girl who’s unhappy with her mom leaving the family, her dad’s remarriage as well as the resulting baby half-brother Toby. Her father doesn’t seem to give two shits about her and her stepmother seems to expect her to be a live-in babysitter. So it’s no wonder she wishes the Goblin King Jareth take little Toby away from her. However, she’s just venting her frustrations and really doesn’t want Jareth to do this. But little does she know that a sparkly leather clad pants David Bowie swoops by and takes him off her hands anyway (as well as becomes a source of 1980s fantasy fetish fuel). Now feeling guilty of not being careful what she wishes for, Sarah now has 13 hours to retrieve him from the labyrinth citadel. The plot kicks in from there, and boy, does she learn her lesson the hard way.

12. Elisabeth

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From: Les Enfants Terribles

The Problem: Elisabeth loves her little teenage brother Paul and is very protective of him. When he’s hit by a snowball with a rock inside by his crush Dargelos, Elisabeth cares for him. At this point it’s revealed that their inseparable relationship is characterized known as “The Game” in which is an intense series of mind games with the people who dare enter their socially isolated lair. However, it’s only years later do we find out that Elisabeth’s relationship with Paul might be more one-sided than he thinks and perhaps very unhealthy, especially when she takes in a girl named Agathe. Since Agathe resembles Dargelos, Paul falls for her but a jealous Elisabeth can’t stand to see him happy without her so she intercepts Paul’s love letter and sets Agathe up with another man named Gerard. This results in him becoming an opium addict and drugging himself to death, but not until Elisabeth shoots herself to beat him in their so-called “Game.” Still, Elisabeth’s relationship with Paul is toxic to the touch attempts to poison everyone around them. But it’s Elisabeth who’s mainly the one wearing the pants and while they may seem like they’re arguing and harassing each other for no reason, she’d still do anything to keep Paul to herself, which destroys him. And as they play their mind games, nobody is safe.

13. Bellatrix Lestrange

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From: The Harry Potter Series

The Problem: Sure she’s a Death Eater, but even if you’re Narcissa Malfoy, you’d really wouldn’t want to be related to her since she’s so fanatically devoted to Voldemort that she’d kill off relatives and betray family members in a heartbeat. In fact she’d make it her duty to kill any relatives who are members of the Order of the Phoenix, including her disowned sister Andromeda Tonks, Muggle born brother-in-law Ted, as well as her niece (and later Remus Lupin who marries her) and her cousin Sirius Black. Also, she’s paranoid and violently insane that it’s scary as well as one of the most sadistic and dangerous Death Eaters around. Tortue, violence, and destruction seem less like means to an end and more like hobbies to her. On her first appearance it’s known that she tortured Neville Longbottom’s parents to insanity that they were locked up at St. Mungo’s. In Book 5, she kills her own cousin Sirius Black by blasting him through a veil in the Death Chamber. Now her vileness as a sister really comes to light in Book 6 in which it’s clear that Voldemort has chosen Draco to assassinate Dumbledore or die in the process and perhaps have his parents lose their lives as well. As any mother with a son charged with a suicide mission, Narcissa is uneasy about the whole thing. Bellatrix, on the other hand, is pretty unsympathetic to her sister’s fears over her son’s life and states that if she had kids, she’d certainly give them to the Dark Lord. Obviously, she’s trapped in a loveless marriage and doesn’t know what it’s like to have kids. But I can’t imagine what kind of mother she could be. What’s worse is that while Draco may hate Mudbloods as much as the next Slytherin and is a real asshole, he’s incapable killing anybody, even when his and his parents’ lives are at stake. And as the Death Eater charged with assassinating a key figure, he’s doomed to fail. If it weren’t for Snape making a deals with Dumbledore and Narcissa before the devastating climax at the Astronomy Tower, then Draco would’ve ended up like Regulus Black. Even if Draco is her nephew, Bellatrix would’ve been perfectly cool with it. Nevertheless, Narcissa is confident that Bellatrix won’t hurt her because they’re siblings (and that they’re both loyal to the Voldemort but Narcissa’s allegiance is basically out of fear). However, note that she also killed her niece Nymphadora Tonks and sees no problem with Draco’s being on a suicide mission, so I wouldn’t have too much confidence in her if I was Draco’s mom.  And if Narcissa strays from the family tradition, well, God help her. Oh, by the way, she tortures Hermione and kills Dobby in Book 7. Nevertheless, trying to kill Ginny after offing her brother was a big mistake. Prepare for Molly Weasley’s “Not my daughter, you bitch!”

14. Edith Philips and Margaret DeLorca

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From: Dead Ringer

The Problem: Now twin sisters Edith and Margaret had a falling out for 18 years after the latter stole the former’s boyfriend and married him over a pregnancy. Nevertheless, Margaret managed to enjoy 18 years of marriage and a life of relative wealth and ease. However, it later turns out that Margaret was cheating on her husband Frank and killed him with arsenic poison. She’s also an insufferable bitch that even her Great Dane basically despises her. Edith, on the other hand, owns a struggling cocktail lounge and is threatened with eviction for not paying her bills. Now it seems that these two sister are about to reconcile after nearly 2 decades since Edith is really intent on riding Margaret’s coattails. But when Edith learns that Margaret was never pregnant, all bets are off. Instead, Edith lures Margaret into her cocktail lounge and kills her since she feels entitled to what her sister has. She then proceeds to make Margaret’s death look like her own suicide and takes her sister’s place at her mansion. But it all soon catches up to her by the end. Sure this may be a film in which Bette Davis may play both good and evil twins, but neither are exactly prizes since they’re both selfish middle aged women. Sure there’s no denying that Margaret really screwed her sister over, but Edith should’ve gotten over it by now.

15. Norah Lorowski

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From: Sunshine Cleaning

The Problem: Now Norah isn’t a bad girl. It’s just that she’s not the most trustworthy sister around and can be quite careless. When she’s fired from her waitress job, she and older sister Rose decide to form a crime scene cleaning business called Sunshine Cleaning. Now when an insurance company calls for the services of Sunshine Cleaning which would grant the sisters a potential to obtain a breakthrough reputation. Unfortunately, Rose has a baby shower that day so she has Norah clean the house alone until she could catch up. This leads to Norah accidentally burning the house with an unattendded candle which results in their business reputation being tarnished and being forced to pay $40,000, which they can’t afford. Thus, Sunshine Cleaning is shut down and Rose has to go back working as a maid to support her son. At least their dad gave up the house so Rose can start cleaning crime scenes again after Norah nearly ruined that chance. Nevertheless, Norah is pretty careless and irresponsible.

16. Jeanette “Jasmine” Francis

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From: Blue Jasmine

The Problem: Jasmine might be losing her mind because her rich background hampers her ability to function in middle class society that she has to live with her sister Ginger in San Francisco. However, even this doesn’t prevent her from being self-involved, narcissistic, and having almost no consideration for anyone else’s feelings. Not to mention, she sometimes tends to live well beyond her means such as traveling first class despite being broke. However, Ginger must be a saint since she’s willing to take in Jasmine who has nowhere else to go, even though she has every reason not to. And it’s not just because her presence keeps Chili from moving in with Ginger. This is because back when Jasmine was a rich trophy wife, she basically treated Ginger like shit and nearly ruined her life. For one, when Ginger and then husband Augie visit her in New York after winning the lottery, Jasmine provides them with a car and driver as well as pays their hotel bills so she could avoid them as much as possible. Yet, when Augie states that he plans to set up a construction business with his winnings, Jasmine offers her Wall Street husband Hal’s help in investing the money instead. Now Hal is a major fraudster and a guy you’d least want to trust with your money since he’s lost a lot of cash from a lot of investors. Augie and Ginger are no different since they would’ve been much better off if Augie just set up his construction business. And it’s also clear that this financial fiasco ruined Ginger’s marriage since Augie basically blames Jasmine for ruining his life. But Ginger defends her. Nevertheless, Jasmine’s actions basically have a negative impact on everyone in the film which does catch up to her near the end. Sure she might’ve turned Hal to the authorities for fraud during an emotional breakdown, but her husband deserved everything he got. Ginger didn’t.

17. Queen Elsa of Arendelle

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From: Frozen

The Problem: Yeah, I know it might come as a shock to some Frozen fans that Elsa might be on this list. However, we know that Elsa is very much a product of her upbringing due to having magical ice powers that lead to Anna’s injury when they were kids. But this doesn’t stop little sister Anna from idolizing her. Now Elsa and Anna were very close as young girls. But after a mishap, their parents basically shut Elsa off from the outside world so she can control her powers. This fails but it doesn’t stop Anna from desperately wanting attention which Elsa understandably denies but doesn’t tell her. And it’s even worse that Anna’s memories of Elsa’s powers were removed after the accident (even though they probably shouldn’t have been). This leads Anna to becoming engaged to Prince Hans a mere 12 hours and a musical number after she meets him on the day of her sister’s coronation at Arendelle. And if things weren’t worse enough between them, Elsa goes ballistic during an argument pertaining to her engagement to Hans. Sure Elsa’s right but she was never learned how to control her powers in a healthy way and can be seen as somewhat psychologically unstable with anxiety and depression. Thus, eternal winter ensues without her realizing it and she runs away to build her own ice castle and giving herself a makeover. But Elsa’s also running away from her responsibilities as queen paving the way for the Duke of Weselton and Prince Hans to exploit the situation. Foolishly believing the bringing her back can reverse the eternal winter, Anna naturally goes after her. But when Anna reaches Elsa’s ice castle, not only does she reject Elsa, but she also strikes her in the heart and chases her along with Olaf, Kristof, and Sven with a giant snow monster named Marshmallow. The frozen heart bit results in Anna nearly freezing to death. Of course, we all know that things work out in the end, but not without Anna taking a lot of crap from her as well as both being very screwed up. Not to mention, we should take account with the property damage Elsa caused even though Arendelle’s main export is ice.

18. Anne Boleyn

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From: The Other Boleyn Girl

The Problem: Out of all Henry VIII’s 6 wives, adaptations haven’t been very fair to his second Queen Anne Boleyn. But Philippa Gregory basically takes historical liberties with her to the extreme. Sure she was ambitious and did pressure Henry to get rid of his first wife, even if it meant severing ties to Rome. But before she caught his eye, it was her sweet sister Mary who got knocked up with Henry’s son as Anne was making the moves on him (in real life, Mary was a bonafide slut whose affair with the king was over years before he took up with Anne. Also, Mary’s son Henry was very likely not his. Oh, and Anne wasn’t married to Henry Percy ever). Sure Henry liked Anne first but he becomes acquainted with Mary after she helps him over an injury. And as soon as Henry and Mary are together, Anne has to scheme to seduce the king right under her nose. And when Henry announces his attentions to marry her, Anne basically forces Mary to give up her son to be raised at court all for political favor.  She also orders him never to talk to Mary again (none of this happened). Not to mention, she’s quite vicious to Mary as well on frequent occasions. And when she’s had a miscarriage, she has sex with her brother George to conceive a child (didn’t happen), which results in both of them getting executed (along with several other men but the charges were trumped up). Gregory’s Anne Boleyn is a vain, cruel, vindictive, and ruthless schemer who manipulates others as well as uses sex to get what she wants. And she got what she deserved. Seems like Philippa Gregory has it really in for Anne Boleyn.

19. Aunt Helen

From: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Problem: Charlie Kelmeckis has been in and out of mental institutions and is one messed up kid since his best friend’s suicide. Or that’s what we’re told at first. Sure his best friend’s suicide might be emotionally traumatic enough to deal with. But it might just be the tip of the iceberg since he tends to go back on his favorite Aunt Helen who’s certainly a blood relation (I mean she’s single and living with Charlie’s family. Still, I think she was his mom’s sister but I’m not sure) who was killed in a car accident when he was 7 years old. Helen is a messed up woman who was molested as a child and abused by many men during her life. She also has a lot of psychological issues. At first, you think she’s such a sweet, troubled, but kooky aunt. However, it’s not until he has a nervous breakdown do we find out the sinister truth that Helen was sexually abusing him. And that Charlie blames himself for Helen’s death and might’ve wished it. Charlie’s parents must be up a wall by this point after they found out. I mean they took Helen into their home when she was down on her luck only to take advantage of their kid behind their backs in the worst way possible. No wonder Charlie is so screwed up.

20. Jacqueline “Jackie-O” Pascal

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From: The House of Yes

The Problem: Now when Marty comes home from school with his fiancée, he seems nervously hesitant to introduce her to his folks. However, it’s his twin sister Jackie who he needs to worry about and the fact she dresses like Jackie O is the least of his worries (as well as the hurricane going on outside). In fact, she’s spoiled, stuck-up, and violently insane. In the beginning, he’s just been released from the funny farm since she shot Marty before when he left home. But informed that Marty is bringing a “friend,” she shows signs of borderline personality disorder such as sudden mood swings and an inability to cope with change. The family isn’t exactly happy with Marty’s fiancée Lesly by her association with him for this very reason. Jackie ensues to interrogate Lesly about her love life with Marty, asking graphic details of their sexual escapades. She then reminds her that Marty had an intense affair with a girl some years back and that she might return. It then becomes clear that Jackie is talking about herself as she then coerces Marty into playing their favorite, “game,” a sexual reenactment of the JFK assassination, which Lesly walks in on. But Marty really wants a normal life yet she won’t let him. The next morning, Jackie searches for a gun that Marty had been ordered to hide by his mom and flushes his car keys down the toilet. Oh, and when Marty refuses to play their “game” but he goes a long before she shoots him dead. Now that is one twisted sister, my friend.

21. Kym Buchman

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From: Rachel Getting Married

The Problem: Weddings are supposed to be happy occasions and shouldn’t be opportunities for needless drama. Unfortunately for Rachel Buchman, her sister Kym has been released from rehab for a few days just in time to attend her big day. Yeah, that sister who killed her younger brother Ethan by driving off a bridge and into a ravine while high whom she has never forgiven. Sure Kym resents that Rachel hasn’t chose her for maid of honor as well as all the other attention she’s receiving that she throws a tantrum. She also lies about how she was molested by her uncle and having to care for an anorexic sister which compels Rachel to storm out of the hair salon. Not to mention, she gets into a fist fight with her mom as well as steals her dad’s car which she crashes into a rock. With a sister like that, you have to wonder why Rachel and her fiancé just spare the dysfunctional family drama and just make plans to elope.

22. Louise

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From: Sister

The Problem: Simon and Louise live in a housing complex below a luxury ski resort in the Alps where they support themselves by stealing equipment and selling them at a discounted price. However, most of the money goes to Louise so she can go on dates. She is selfish and irresponsible, unable to hold a job and going off with men, leaving Simon home alone. She eventually abandons him for a boyfriend for a considerable amount of time. This actually does a significant amount of good for Simon since he’s able to socialize with the resort’s tourists and employees. But when his sister returns, it’s utter dysfunction and that she asks him for money to sleep next to her, which is kind of unsettling and creepy. Oh, and she may not really be his sister.

23. Valerie Craig

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From: Three Bad Sisters

The Problem: When it comes to a parent’s inheritance, most people usually don’t consider it a big deal save maybe the rich. However, in the world of fiction, people are willing to kill each other over it. Now this movie could easily have been called, “One Bad Sister, One Crazy Sister, and One Slutty Sister,” but audiences in 1956 wouldn’t buy it. So Marshall Craig dies by crashing his own plain and leaving pilot Jim Norton out of a job. Eyeing the family fortune for herself and not batting a tear of the news on the radio, Valerie recruits Norton to either seduce her sister Lorna (who’s the executor of the estate) or drive her to suicide (which runs in the family) as well as take off with her. If not, then she’ll frame him for her dad’s murder. They also concoct a story that Norton saved Mr. Craig from drowning and was rewarded with a partnership in a land development project Craig was working on at the time, so he can enter into the family’s inner circle. However, slutty sister Vicki wants Norton for herself. But Valerie disposes her easily enough by taunting and beating her with a horsewhip that Vicki drives off a mountain road to her death. Yet, as Norton falls in love with Lorna, Valerie devises a few tricks up her sleeve to get rid of her, too such as trying to trample her with a horse. Oh, and she tries to steal Jim and break Lorna’s heart. Luckily, she dies.

24. Margaret Turner

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From: The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer

The Problem: Now this movie is intended as a romantic comedy, but since Margaret’s a judge and an adult, she should really know better. Now it’s one thing for her 17-year-old sister Susan to have a crush playboy artist Richard Nugent to the point that she sneaks into his apartment, which amounts to a very awkward situation that would put him on a sex offender list. Now to be fair, Margaret, her ADA boyfriend Tommy Chamberlain, and her psychiatrist uncle make a deal with Richard that he’ll be cleared of all charges, including assaulting Tommy if he agrees to date Susan until the infatuation runs its course. Sure the movie was made in the 1940s and Richard fortunately has absolutely no interest in any girl under 18. Even so, this is a very terrible idea, if not then downright illegal and unethical. But Margaret really has no excuse here since she’s not just Susan’s sister, she’s also a judge and her legal guardian. For all she knows, Richard could be a pedophile who might see being forced to date Susan as a perfect opportunity to molest her. Margaret should’ve considered this, even if Richard is innocent since she’s tried people over felonies. It would’ve been better for Margaret to send Richard away with a temporary restraining order, but I suppose that she thinks he’s hot and wants him to stick around. That, and possibly a reason to get rid of Tommy, since she’s been under a lot of pressure to get married.

25. Patricia Bosworth Emerson

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From: A Stolen Life

The Problem: Being your sister’s doppelganger is a great advantage for evil twins. And Pat is now exception. Now as nice sister Kate builds a relationship with Bill Emerson, flamboyant and manhunting manipulator Pat pursues him out of town. First, she does this pretending to be Kate and later on they get married, mostly because Pat seems to get some pleasure in shattering Kate’s dreams. We know this because Pat probably doesn’t care for Bill and carries on like she always did after they’re married which is why their marriage is in trouble when Kate gets back. It’s very clear that Pat is a psychopath, not the murdering one, but the kind that would make her a successful stockbroker on Wall Street in more progressive times. So not only does Kate have to deal with her one true love being her brother-in-law but how Pat’s making him suffer. Luckily Pat gets killed in a boating accident, but it doesn’t make Kate’s emotional state any easier, especially when she poses as her sister. Yeah, I know this film is soapy, but as far as identical twins go, Pat is basically your worst nightmare in a realistic sense.

26. Queen Cleopatra VII

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From: Cleopatra and other films

The Problem: Dynastic squabbles between power hungry royal relatives are the stuff of tales as old a time. I mean in Ancient Egypt from the Old Kingdom Pharaohs to the Hellenized Macedonian Ptolemies, killing and marrying siblings was something of a family tradition and not just limited to men (seriously, they were that messed up). And Cleopatra is not much different. I mean her dad had her two older sisters killed when they tried to seize the throne from him. Of course, she married her two of her half-brothers and belonged to a family more inbred than a West Virginia family reunion. The fact these were arranged marriages makes her being an adulteress with a preference for older men seem normal. But these incestuous marriages didn’t stop her from fighting wars or killing them. Oh, and did I tell you that her brothers were teenagers? And that she slaughtered her way to the top at just 21? When Ptolemy XIII made the mistake of killing Pompey and presenting his severed head to Julius Caesar, Cleopatra takes up with Caesar, has his baby, temporarily reconciled with her husband/half-brother, and had Ptolemy drown in his armor in the Nile River. She was promptly married to her other younger half-brother Ptolemy XIV but he was killed at 14 and the marriage was likely never consummated. You can guess what happened to hm. Oh, and her little sister Arsinoe was taken to Rome and executed as well  Still, while she was seen as a decent Egyptian ruler who unsuccessfully tried to keep her kingdom from being a Roman province, you certainly wouldn’t want her as your sister.

27. Ginger Fitzgerald

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From: Ginger Snaps

The Problem: Now this movie uses lycanthropy as a metaphor for puberty, but let’s just say you don’t want a werewolf for a sister. Now Ginger and her little sister Bridgette are 2 teenage girls with a fascination for death. But when they’re trying to kidnap a bully’s dog, Ginger is bitten by a strange creature in the woods. After that, Ginger starts becoming more aggressive, starts sprouting hair and a tail, and does other things that greatly concern Bridgette such as engaging in unprotected sex and killing a neighbor’s dog. Once Bridgette realizes what’s happening to her older sister, she tries to find a cure because she loves Ginger more than anything. Of course, Ginger is very protective of her to the point of killing people that look at her funny. She also kills 3 people including a guidance counselor, a janitor, and a fellow student. It’s even more disturbing how Ginger asks Bridgette to let her bite her so they can become their own pack. But as the film goes on, Ginger becomes more and more dangerous that it comes to the point that Bridgette has to kill her in self-defense.

28. Lydia Bennett

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From: Pride and Prejudice

The Problem: To be fair, Lydia probably wouldn’t be on this list if Jane Austen’s best known story took place in the 21st century where she’d be seen as nothing more than a mere embarrassment and George Wickham could be hauled away on statutory rape charges. Unfortunately, this story takes place during the Regency where child sex offender laws didn’t exist. Now Lydia is everything you’d expect in a bratty teenage girl. She’s selfish, completely self-involved, boy crazy, materialistic, and cares absolutely nothing about the people she hurt, the trouble she caused her family, and the consequences of her stupid actions. In fact, she won’t even acknowledge that her actions were stupid or had any damaging effects. And it doesn’t help that Mrs. Bennett is more indulgent on her than her sisters. But by Regency standards, she’s the sister and daughter from hell, especially since she likes to flirt with redcoats. This leads her to elope with George Wickham who has no intention of marrying her because of her family’s lack of wealth and is a possible sociopath. This almost results in her complete disgrace but luckily second sister Lizzie snagged Mr. Darcy who basically blackmails Wickham into marrying her. But even so, the youngest Bennett sister never seems to learn and is basically stuck with a man who’d put her through a lot of shit as well as the family.

29. Isabella Linton Heathcliff

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From: Wuthering Heights

The Problem: Now Isabella Linton isn’t a bad girl. She’s just teenage girl who’s too boy crazy over a guy she really needs to avoid. Seriously, when Heathcliff returns after a mysterious 3 year absence, Isabella is head over heels with this guy. Now we all know by this point is that Heathcliff isn’t in love with her, is deeply in love with Catherine Earnshaw and always will be, really didn’t take Cathy’s rejection for Edgar Linton very well at all, and is actively seeking vengeance. Isabella’s infatuation with Heathcliff is basically the worst possible thing to ever happen to Edgar Linton. I mean her crush on him makes Heathcliff’s goals of vengeance against the Lintons a whole lot easier. So it’s no surprise that Linton tells his sister that if she marries Heathcliff, he will cut ties with her, which he does. But even this doesn’t stop Heathcliff for trying to get back at him out of pure spite. Of course, there’s no hint he does this in the movie, but those who read the book or any summary certainly would find that Heathcliff’s wrath doesn’t just stop with his enemies. And it doesn’t help at all that he’s abusive to Isabella either.

30. Rose Michaels

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From: So I Married an Axe Murderer

The Problem: Now Charlie McKenzie is crazy about Harriet and Harriet is crazy about him. So they get married. However, problem is that Harriet has been married before a few times but all those marriages ended in death during their honeymoon that she’s now suspected as an infamous black widow “Mrs. X” which obviously causes a lot of concern. When he confronts Harriet of this, she just assumes that they just up and left her and feels like she’s developed a complex. Now Rose might seem like a sweet girl and a little shy. But during Charlie and Harriet’s honeymoon, Rose suddenly swipes at Charlie with an axe revealing herself to be the killer claiming that each husband took her sister away from her. Of course, it’s fair to say that Rose is an insane serial killer. Surely a sister’s wedding shouldn’t be described as an abduction. And her activities could’ve landed Harriet in prison if it weren’t for Charlie.

Bad Movie Brothers

Now while there are plenty of only children in movies, there are a lot of memorable siblings. Sometimes they can be your best friends as well as hardly there at all. Some even could be backstabbing sons of bitches if you get my drift. Now it’s said that siblings share a lot together such as genetics, childhood, home, and what not. They’re also more likely to be a person’s longest and closest biological connection as well as be among the first choices for a new kidney, if need be. Still, since a lot of movies tend to pertain to men, it’s no wonder that there are so many of memorable ones on film from parental surrogates to annoying little shits. However, this post basically pertains to brothers that aren’t so nice who you’d wish their siblings just have a clue and kick them to the curb. Some of these guys are selfish protectors while others are chronic backstabbers who’d hang their families out to dry in a heartbeat. Some are just goddamn crazy and perhaps homicidal maniacs. Others are a little of both. But for the kid who feels like they have the worst brother ever, let’s just say this list will make you feel much better after seeing what some people in the movies have to deal with. Half-brothers, stepbrothers, and adopted brothers are included as well. Uncles will also count as well if sibling ties can be established, since being a bad uncle is also synonymous with being a bad brother even if they direct their vileness toward their siblings’ kids that’s every parent’s nightmare. So without further adieu, here is a list of some of the terrible brothers in movies that put your mean and annoying brothers to shame.

1. Stephen Bloom

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From: The Brothers Bloom
The Problem: Those who’ve seen Foxcatcher will remember Mark Ruffalo as Channing Tatum’s caring older brother. But as Stephen Bloom, his relationship with Adrien Brody in this film is very complicated, since they’re con artists with their relationship being a fine line between brotherly love and the elder exploiting the younger as a prop for his own selfish ends. Sure Stephen may love his little brother Bloom more than anyone else in his life. It’s clear their relationship isn’t a typical one between brothers since they were the only people in each other’s lives due to being orphaned at a young age and spending a significant part of their childhood bouncing between foster homes. So as it’s only natural that Stephen and Bloom’s relationship may contain aspects one would associate between a parent and child (despite a 3 year age difference). And yes, Stephen might have originally invented the cons as a way to get Bloom to interact with the world while they were kids. But even then, you can also argue Stephen invented their con game because he was jealous of how the other kids seem to have it better than they did (hence the line “playground bourgeoisies”). But you can’t really blame him since their lives were relatively miserable in foster care. However, fast forward 25 years later and there’s no denying that Stephen plans all his cons for himself just because he wants to write a good story and make it real as well as rip off a bunch of rich folks who won’t miss their money anyway. Bloom usually assists his big brother doing whatever he says mostly because he loves his brother and is simply too passive and nice for his own good. But Stephen’s con games have taken a heavy toll on Bloom who never gets to grow into his own person (hence why he’s not known by his first name), never gets to pursue what he wants, views himself very negatively as a human being, and may be well on his way to becoming a psychological mess. I mean spending a few months drinking in Montenegro and possibly traveling with bottles of gin are never good signs. Furthermore, it’s well established in their first scenes as adults that Bloom has wanted to quit for awhile and has told his brother before on so many occasions that Stephen was able to say so word for word. But Stephen always knows how to manipulate his little brother into doing a con job no matter how reluctant Bloom may be. And when Bloom falls for their mark Penelope Stamp, he not only has to suffer the emotional consequences of luring and dumping her but his relationship with Stephen also gets to the point where he can’t completely tell the difference of whether his brother is being sincere or trying to con him. Stephen may not be responsible for all of Bloom’s problems, but his relationship with Stephen keeps him trapped in a con game he doesn’t want to play as well as makes him a very conflicted and very unhappy man.

2. Princes Richard, Geoffrey, and John Plantagenet

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From: The Lion in Winter with Richard and John in the Robin Hood movies
The Problem: Let’s just say, that sibling rivalries can get quite heated. But when it comes to medieval brothers fighting over who’ll rule after daddy, then it will be played up like a contact sport. If not, then war. Now it’s not easy being a Plantagenet, especially if you’re a grown man whose dad is King Henry II of England and mom is Queen Eleanor of Acquitaine. And by 1183, they’re not on the best of terms with his philandering and her inciting you guys into rebelling against him that got her put in prison for 10 years. So coming from a family like that, not wanting to spend the holidays with your folks is understandable. Add to that the fact your oldest brother Henry has died not too long ago and that King Henry is bonking the French King’s sister who’s engaged to Richard (who’d prefer her brother anyway). Oh, and did I tell you the French King Philip II is just 17 year old newlywed who’s also the son of Eleanor’s ex-husband? Now it’s clear that Henry and Eleanor favor a different son to succeed the king when he dies such as John and Richard respectively. But it’s also clear that primogeniture isn’t law yet and Henry fears that his sons will fight a civil war after he dies. And looking how these guys got along with each other during Christmas, he’s clearly not overreacting. Surviving oldest Richard likes to slaughter guys in tournaments and in the Holy Land who as king, left his country financially ruined, had to have the English people bail him out after being captured, and really didn’t care much about being a king of England anyway. But he’s also close to his mama and may prefer the company of merry men. But he and his dad really don’t get along. Middle son Geoffrey has a case of chronic backstabbing disorder who likes to use his brothers as pawns. Luckily he dies (supposedly trampled by a horse during a jousting tournament) before his old man kicks the bucket so he’s not in the Robin Hood movies. Then there’s the youngest, Prince John who’s a spoiled teenage brat in The Lion in Winter but he’s smarter than he looks (but is unaware about being an unwitting pawn). So when Richard’s out and mommy’s dead, then he’ll try to take over. And when he becomes king, he’ll kill off Geoffrey’s teenage son Arthur before the latter would challenge him. Of course, he won’t be as well liked as Richard and will be forced to sign the Magna Carta before dying of dysentery. Yeah. Now could you not blame Henry II for wanting to kill his boys for treason?

3. J. J. Hunsecker

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From: Sweet Smell of Success
The Problem: Okay, J. J. isn’t the nicest guy in the world, but when it comes to selfish and controlling brothers, he makes Stephen Bloom look like an angel. At least Stephen has some redeeming qualities when it comes to his little brother. When it comes to J. J.’s relationship with his sister, he has absolutely none. Now since J. J. basically had to raise Susan, he’s very protective of his little sister, maybe to inappropriate levels. But he cares much more about his needs than he ever will about hers. So when his little sister Susan starts dating a nightclub jazz guitarist Steve Dallas (who’s a perfectly nice guy, by the way), what does Hunsecker do? Why recruit a smarmy press agent named Sidney Falco to break them up, of course. So to please the bullying, intimidating Hunsecker, Falco plants a (certifiably false) rumor that Dallas is a dope smoking Communist so the morally bankrupt syndicated columnist could rescue his reputation. However, though Dallas and Susan do break up (officially), Dallas just can’t resist insulting Hunsecker and his underhanded methods. Hunsecker is so enraged that he tells Falco to plant marijuana on the musician and have a dirty cop Lt. Harry Kello arrest and beat him up. Falco is uneasy about this but goes ahead with the plan anyway. But when he is summoned to Hunsecker’s penthouse, he finds the miserable Susan trying to kill herself. But he grabs her as J. J. walks in and accuses Falco of trying to assault her and beats him to a pulp. When Susan learns that her brother ordered Falco to destroy Dallas, she tells him “I’d rather be dead than living with you. For all the things you’ve done, J.J., I know I should hate you. But I don’t. I pity you.” And she walks out to rejoin her jazz guitarist boyfriend, renouncing ties to her brother altogether.

4. Steve Lake

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From: Bunny Lake Is Missing
The Problem: I’d hate to spoil this movie, but I can’t see any way in order to understand why Steve Lake is on this list. Now this movie initially plays like a conventional child abduction story with American single mom Ann Lake utterly frantic over her daughter Bunny disappearing on her first day at school. So after searching through the kindergarten in vain, Ann and Steve decide to call the police. Now when Superintendent Newhouse reaches the Lakes’ house, all of Bunny’s possessions are also missing and he begins to suspect Bunny Lake doesn’t exist, partly because Bunny was the name of Ann’s imaginary friend. Desperate to prove Bunny’s existence, Ann discovers a claim tag on one of her daughter’s dolls she took to the doll shop for repairs. But though she gets the doll, Steve bursts in attempting to burn it, knocks her out, and tells the nurse that his sister is raving like a lunatic about an imaginary girl who disappeared. When she escapes to their house knowing that her brother’s the kidnapper, Ann finds Steve burying Bunny’s things and planning to kill her. As to why Steve did it, he simply said that Bunny has always been between them and now they can’t be together because Ann loves Bunny more than she loves him. Well, ya think? But there may be hints that Steve may love his sister in a rather unhealthy way. Still, it’s clear that Steve is utterly crazy if he has to be jealous of his sister’s daughter. He shouldn’t expect Ann love Bunny more than him since putting one’s kids first is normal for any parent. Now it’s one thing for a brother to kidnap his sister’s kid. But, also trying to convince the world her kid doesn’t exist and that your sister has gone off the deep end will certainly make you the brother from hell.

5. Prince Edward “David” of Wales (later King Edward VIII)

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From: The King’s Speech
The Problem: Now we all know the story about how King Edward VIII gave up the throne out of love for the twice divorced American divorcee he loved, which caused a constitutional crisis in the UK. Sure you may think it’s the greatest love story of all time. However, while this movie might not be the most historically accurate, it puts the romantic notions of Edward’s abdication to rest once and for all as well as portrayed him as the selfish and absolute jerk he was. Seriously, the guy wasn’t keen on having his kingly duties get in the way with jetsetting around the world to party. Of course, it’s very apparent that Edward isn’t cut out to be a constitutional monarch that even his old man would prefer his stuttering little brother Bertie to him (and so would the British public). And did I tell you that he and Wallis are Nazi sympathizers? Of course, all of this brings little comfort to Bertie who’s not at all confident about his speaking abilities. It doesn’t help that Edward basically belittles him of his speech impediment just when Bertie tells him that he should take his leadership duties seriously. He also accuses his brother of trying to take his place as king even though Bertie really doesn’t want to be king. But you kind of wish that Bertie could just do it because Edward is such a selfish asshole. Of course, while Edward was right to give up the throne for his brother, it seems that Bertie got the raw end of the deal. And despite being a capable king, it doesn’t help that the stress of ruling Great Britain was said to take a massive toll on his health that he died of coronary thrombosis in 1952 at 56. Edward, on the other hand enjoyed a photo op with Adolf Hitler, a wartime governorship of the Bahamas, continued enjoying his jettsetting party lifestyle with him and Wallis as the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, and died in Paris in 1972.

6. Antonio “Tony” Camonte/Tony Montana

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From: Scarface (either version)
The Problem: Gangster movies might glamorize crime and violence. But they’re correct to tell moviegoers that you wouldn’t want to be related to one. Now there are two movies named Scarface with one being made in the 1930s that was inspired by the rise of Al Capone during Prohibition and the other about a Cuban drug kingpin in Miami during the 1970s but released in 1983. But in some essence, the story is the same. Violent guy named Tony rises to through the ranks of organized crime basically facing attention of law enforcement and law enforcement, having their lives reduced to emptiness, as well as eventually have their empires come crashing down as they get killed. Camonte loves violence and delights in his Tommy Gun without showing remorse while Montana gets addicted to cocaine and is a controlling misogynist. Of course, both Tonys are impulsive in their own way with terrible tempers and an unhealthy obsession with their sisters. By that I mean violently protective that sometimes conduct can descend into outright abuse. And when the sister runs off with the best friend to get married, the Tonys gun down the best friend assuming the guy was abusing her (he wasn’t). Their criminal activities also lead to their sisters getting killed as well.

7. Scar

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From: The Lion King
The Problem: As far as Disney villains go, Scar is among the most evil and basically fits the textbook definition of a sociopath. Yes, he’s resentful and jealous of his king of the Pridelands brother Mufasa who always gets the glory and the power he craves. But at least he’ll be next after his brother dies. That is, until Simba is born, which gets him demoted on in the line of succession which he is not happy about. Still, Scar is good at hiding his resentment toward his brother and nephew by pretending to be the loyal brother and uncle while privately planning to kill them with zero qualms. Now Scar is a ruthless chronic backstabber, consummate liar, and a master at manipulating everyone to get what he wants. First, he tricks Simba and Nala to venture into the elephant graveyard betting they are killed by hyenas. But Mufasa interferes and saves them. Yet, he also successfully dupes the hyenas into his selfish scheme, convincing them he’d make everything better for them. They fall for it. After that, he then coaxes his nephew into a gorge and triggers a wildebeest stampede where Simba is almost trampled to death if it weren’t for Mufasa returning his son to safety. But Scar throws his brother off a cliff to get trampled in the stampede at his moment of desperation, all in front of Simba’s eyes (while traumatizing an entire generation of children in the 1990s. Trust me, I watched this movie in theaters when I was 4 years old. Guess this scene gave my parents second thoughts about having me see this). Adding insult to injury, Scar tells Simba that Mufasa’s death was his fault and that he should run away and never return, before having the hyenas unsuccessfully go after him. Yet, this leaves Simba with a major guilt complex while he grows up. Once Scar is actually king of the Pridelands, he lets the hyenas run rampant making the place go to hell, turning the lush savannah into a deserted wasteland within a few years in which lion and hyena both starve. And Scar proves to be a terrible ruler because he’s a selfish, tyrannical, and lazy hedonist with virtually everybody hating his guts. Once Simba returns, Scar sets him off by smacking Sarabi when she compares him to Mufasa. And when Scar and Simba get into a fight, he pleads for mercy and confesses to killing his brother only to recant it by blaming his villainous actions on the hyenas (who are listening nearby). Luckily Simba throws him off Pride Rock and the hyenas eat him alive.

8. Charlie Babbit

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From: Rain Man
The Problem: Now taking care of a special needs sibling is difficult enough, let alone if you haven’t seen him or her since you were a little kid before being institutionalized. Now Raymond Babbit is profoundly autistic savant but he has super recall and math skills (and as far as we know, there’s no cure for autism). Charlie on the other hand, has a severe case of rich boy entitlement syndrome, which is totally curable. So when Charlie learns that his estranged dad has left the bulk of his $3 million estate is going to the older brother her barely remembers, he seeks Raymond out. However, once he meets his brother, he takes his brother to a hotel, he asks Raymond’s doctor for half the estate in exchange for Raymond’s return, but he refuses. He then decides to gain custody of his brother to get control of the money he thinks is rightfully his. So he basically kidnaps Raymond away to Los Angeles to meet with his lawyers. And when he hears about the Lamborghinis being seized by a creditor resulting in $80,000 in debt, well it’s a brotherly road trip to Vegas. But this time, it’s for Raymond to put his super memory and math skills to good use with counting cards before being chased out of the casino by security. Yeah, Charlie is a douche whose only motivation in bonding with Raymond is his bank account to support his luxurious lifestyle. Still, if I were him, I’d just go with the convertible and prize winning rose bushes and leave.

9. Jesse and Lewton McCanles

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From: Duel in the Sun
The Problem: When it comes to dynastic clashes on Texas cattle ranches, these boys make the Ewing brothers seem normal. And when Pearl Chavez winds up on Spanish Bit, Jesse and Lewton’s relationship becomes even more antagonistic. Now if you’ve read my post on bad movie husband/boyfriends, Lewt is a violent psycho who rapes Pearl, refuses to marry her, yet goes completely apeshit if she dates anyone else. I mean he killed a guy who was going to marry her. He also derails a train and shoots his Jesse unarmed. It’s not surprising he’s the worse of the two and it’s no wonder that his family hates him. Seriously, trying to discipline Lewt is like trying to domesticate a crocodile. However, while we’re supposed to see the gentlemanly Jesse as the good brother, he’s just as much of a selfish jerk who’d sell out his family’s best interests in a heartbeat. Sure he gets ostracized for siding with the railroad men while his dad decided on an armed confrontation, but still. Now Jesse is a lawyer with political ambitions and family image is everything. So you can’t really tell whether he’s being a nice guy or doesn’t want his family put him at a disadvantage during the next election. And though he may have feelings for Pearl, he doesn’t see her as an appropriate political wife so he gets himself engaged to an upper class white girl. But if Jesse wasn’t so keen on winning office and ran off and married Pearl instead, then a lot of the bad stuff in this movie could’ve been avoided, especially Lewton and Pearl’s mutual kill.

10. Cal and Aron Trask

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From: East of Eden
The Problem: Of course, the fact these two don’t get along is certainly no surprise to me because they were raised by a shitty dad. Seriously, Adam Trask’s upbringing really messed these boys up. Now Cal is supposed to be the bad brother while Aron is seen as the good brother. However, it’s not really the case. Sure Cal is a juvenile delinquent who basically steals his brother’s girlfriend and drive him insane when he introduces Aron their mother. Not to mention, it also compels Aron to go on a bender and hop on a train to the Western front, smashing a window. But Aron is also intensely possessive of Abra and whenever she tries to do something nice with or for Cal, he just goes ballistic. Also, when Cal tries to help him in a fight, Aron thinks it’s just to impress Abra. And when Cal tries to give the money he worked so hard to earn back after his dad’s veggie disaster, Aron suddenly announces his and Abra’s engagement even though he didn’t propose at all. Yeah, Adam Trask certainly did a great job with his favoritism on Aron and abuse on Cal being basically the main reasons why they hate each other.

11. Jonathan Brewster

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From: Arsenic and Old Lace
The Problem: Contrary to what you might’ve seen on Dexter, serial killers don’t make great siblings. And while Jonathan only killed about 13 people which may be more of a byproduct of his life of crime, chances are you’d rather have dinner with his sweet elderly aunts even if they are homicidal maniacs. Seriously, the Brewsters are the kind of family in which everyone save oldest brother Mortimer is crazy, homicidal, or both. Jonathan is the guy you want to avoid since not only is he a serial killer but he’s also been pursued around by police that he’s had multiple plastic surgeries and killed his last victim for saying he looked like Boris Karloff. Not to mention, he’s a violent psychopath with no scruples who’d even torture his victims if he’s in the mood such as the Melbourne method. And it doesn’t help that he and his assistant stop by his aunts’ place where they drop off a corpse to the aunts’ dismay. Still, the guy basically thinks about killing his brothers on a whim and he gets really close to killing his older brother Mortimer by having his assistant bound and gag him to a chair. This among clueless and easily bored New York beat cops nearby. Now having a crazy family is one thing. But if you’re the guy in the crazy family with homicidal aunts who think you’ve gone off the deep end and try to kill your brother, well, you probably belong on this list.

12. Edmund Pevensie

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From: The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe
The Problem: Of course, being a middle child and sent off to a stranger’s countryside home during WWII isn’t going to put you in the best situation. So Edmund wanting attention, glory, and sugary sweets isn’t very surprising, especially since he starts out the series at 10. Not to mention, out of the 4 Pevensie children, it’s pretty clear he gets the least attention from their parents. In the beginning, he’s already in a bad relationship with his siblings who basically bullies younger sister Lucy just because he can, even after they get out of the wardrobe. Still, when he first gets into Narnia after chasing Lucy around, he meets the White Witch who takes him in her white sleigh and treats him to Turkish delight, calling herself the “Queen of Narnia.” She also asks him to return and bring his siblings with him, offering a reward of him being a prince and perhaps a king. However, Edmund obviously has no idea what’s going on in Narnia as well as what the hell he’s getting himself into. What’s really going on is that the White Witch is just using him so she could kill them all to prevent the fulfillment of a Narnia prophecy. And that she has made him do her bidding by getting him hooked on the Narnian equivalent to crack. So when the Pevensie siblings are staying with the Beavers and talking about Aslan, Edmund sneaks out to the Witch’s castle. Of course, it’s only when he gets there does he realize he’s made a very big mistake, but that doesn’t stop the White Witch from trying to put him to death. Perhaps the only reason why Edmund’s siblings forgave him was because his familial betrayal had less to do with selfishness than his own stupidity and desire for attention. But it’s Edmund’s ignorance that nearly puts him and his siblings in mortal danger.

13. Paris

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From: Troy and other films.
The Problem: Well, a pretty straightforward one, really. Now suppose you’re the Trojan Crown Prince Hector with a loving wife and young son. All you want to do with your life is basically spend time with your family and help your dad rule Troy. But one day, your little brother Paris goes on a diplomatic mission to Sparta where he ends up running off with Queen Helen. Unfortunately she’s married to King Menelaus who’s certainly not at all happy. In fact, he’s so royally pissed off that he enlists help from his brother and the other Greek city states that have now declared war on Troy, which will go on for 10 years. Now you correctly think that what your little brother did wasn’t just selfish but also phenomenally stupid. Not to mention, even the Trojans think Paris is a philandering, cowardly jerk who’s responsible for this mess. But this is Ancient Greece, your sense of honor won’t let you to just give Helen back to Menelaus which would basically solve everything. As we all know, destiny and hubris pretty much make this conflict unavoidable. And the fact that you’re also Troy’s best warrior means that you’re going to spend a lot of time away from the family. Now does that make you want to kill your brother? Well, if it doesn’t just make note that you will be killed by Achilles, your body will be desecrated, your city will be burned, your newborn son will be thrown from the city walls, and your wife will become a sex slave to your slayer’s son. Oh, and your sister will be taken as Agamemnon’s sex slave and is killed by Clytemnestra. But don’t worry, Paris dies in this war, too.

14. King Claudius

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From: Hamlet
The Problem: It’s one thing to kill your brother for the throne of Denmark. But marry the guy’s widow soon after his death? Sure he may seem to love her and may help him get the throne but his nephew Hamlet is certainly not going to be happy about that when he gets home. And when he finds out from his ghost dad that Claudius killed his father, he’s going to be super pissed. But Uncle Claudius isn’t going to give up his kingdom too easily, especially after he gets pissed off over his nephew putting on a play about it. Luckily Hamlet missed an opportunity to kill him while he’s praying to God (for God’s sake, Hamlet, why don’t you just fucking kill your uncle already?). So this gives time for Claudius to send Rosencrantz and Guilderstern to kill him after he sends Hamlet out of town with a message to the king of England to kill him (luckily Hamlet has the two idiots murdered by giving them the message). And when Hamlet gets back home, he tries to have his nephew killed another time via swordfight with the now angry, grieving, and vengeful Laertes in which they kill each other. Fortunately Hamlet kills him before dying but not after his mother drinks poison. And as a result of his actions, the whole Danish royal family is dead. Yes, fratricide is a bitch.

15. Peeta Mellark’s Older Brothers
From: The Hunger Games Trilogy
The Problem: While I’m not sure whether you see them in the film, but they’re mentioned in the book. Now we’re all aware that every year in Panem, a teenage boy and girl are chosen at random (or supposed to be, but the selection system is rigged) during the Reaping as tributes for each of the 12 districts to participate an annual fight to the death on national television. At least one of Peeta’s brothers was eligible to compete in the first book. But while Katniss Everdeen volunteers as a tribute in her sister’s place, Peeta’s brothers do no such thing (in typical Panem sibling fashion). And it doesn’t help that he’s in love with Katniss who’s probably favored to win the Games anyway (as we know from Catching Fire) and if she didn’t decide that they’d commit suicide together, he probably wouldn’t last the first book. Those familiar with the trilogy know the rest, especially with what happens to him in Mockingjay.

16. Hindley Earnshaw

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From: Wuthering Heights
The Problem: In relation to Heathcliff, Hindley isn’t technically a brother but that’s as far as we’re concerned. However, they were raised together in the same house, so he counts. Now Hindley’s hatred for Heathcliff starts when his dad brings him to Wuthering Heights. Of course, considering his situation, since a new sibling does lead to less parental attention, this is understandable, especially for children of single parents. However, his father’s attention to Heathcliff makes this Mr. Little Entitlement here utterly jealous and resentful. So when Edgar dies, Hindley assumes the role of family patriarch and forces Heathcliff to work relentlessly as a family servant (or house slave, not that there’s any difference). Doesn’t help matters that Hindley later becomes an alcoholic and compulsive gambler as an adult. Now Heathcliff didn’t like Hindley to begin with nor is he necessarily nice either. But being forced to work for his foster brother really makes him despise the guy. Not only that, but Hindley’s treatment of Heathcliff is largely what shapes the latter into a cruel and bitter person. And when Heathcliff returns after a mysterious 3 year absence, he assumes ownership from under Hindley’s nose and basically has him drink himself to death. Sure Heathcliff was pretty cruel to the guy, but it’s not like Hindley didn’t deserve it. I mean treating someone like scum and a monster isn’t a good idea, especially if the victim displays signs of being a possible sociopath. So Hindley pretty much had it coming. Edgar Linton, on the other hand…..

17. Charles “Charlie” Oakley

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From: Shadow of a Doubt
The Problem: Now Charlie is more of an uncle but even so, you’d think his sister Emma would know better. I mean Charlie hasn’t seen her in years until all of a sudden, he just decides to pay her a visit (of course, we all know he’s being chased by cops at the moment). But unlike Jonathan Brewster, Charlie wouldn’t think of killing his older sister, mostly because he only targets rich widows that he equates with cows best left to the slaughterhouse. Yet, you can argue that while Emma is practically blind to who her brother really is, her ignorance basically keeps her out of harm’s way. But it kind of makes her naming her daughter after him very unsettling. Also helps Uncle Charlie that everyone in town adores him. On the other hand, you couldn’t say the same for Young Charlie who’s the only one in her family to sense that there’s something very wrong with him. He also gives her a wedding ring, which is among the most inappropriate gifts for someone in your family, save maybe in West Virginia. But after a run in with the cops looking for the “Merry Widow Killer” and a bit of research on the ring, she finds that the uncle she once idolized is actually a remorseless serial killer on the run. When Young Charlie tells him what she knows, he tries to kill her 3 times such as breaking the stair steps so she could fall and break her neck, locking her in a garage with the engine running so she’d suffocate from carbon monoxide poisoning, or trying to throw her off a train. He also tries to choke her, too. Now staying at your sister’s place from the cops is one thing. Manipulating her into thinking you’re a good person while trying to bump off her daughter will certainly make you a brother from hell.

18. Derek Vinyard

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From: American History X
The Problem: Danny Vinyard idolizes his brother Derek. And why should he? After all, Derek is a good student as well as has a talent for basketball. However, the guy is a racist Neo-Nazi skinhead who commits violent crimes against racial minorities in his neighborhood as well as recruits others to his cause. Not to mention, such hate also makes him hostile to family members as driving his mother’s Jewish boyfriend away and attacking his sister. Sure his dad was killed by black gangbangers but still, that gives you no reason to be a Neo-Nazi. And I’m sure Derek had been accustomed to racism all his life. But a lot of racists wouldn’t commit acts of violence in the name of white supremacy (or pure blood supremacy in the case with Draco Malfoy). Nevertheless, Derek’s influence on his little brother leads him on the same path. Sure Derek might’ve reformed during his prison sentence but his past as a Neo-Nazi will haunt him for the rest of his life. Derek probably didn’t mean to be a role model, but older siblings tend set examples for their younger counterparts whether they like it or not.

19. Edmund
From: King Lear
The Problem: Okay, I get it, growing up knowing you were the product of your dad’s fling certainly has to suck. So I can understand why Edmund might harbor resentment for his legitimately born older half-brother Edgar as well as for the rest of the world who cruelly judge him. Yet, since this play features two Shakespearean dads with parenting skills you might see in a Disney movie, let’s just say Edmund has a lot of free rein for dirty work. Now Edmund tricks the Earl of Gloucester into thinking Edgar is plotting to kill him (just to get their dad’s title). Since backstabbing and killing relatives was relatively common up to the Middle Ages, Gloucester is duped. This leads Edgar to go on the run disguised as a crazy homeless guy to evade capture and stay alive. Let’s just say that if Edgar hadn’t fallen in with King Lear and ran into his dad, he would’ve been dead. Of course, Edmund seduces Lear’s older daughters as well as manipulates everyone to increase his power, but that’s another story. Luckily for Edgar, he finds out about Edmund’s treachery and kills him. Considering that Edmund is a power hungry opportunist who framed him, you can’t really blame Edgar’s conduct here.

20. Charley Maloy

Marlon-Brando
From: On the Waterfront
The Problem: Now deciding whether to blow the whistle on illegal workplace activity isn’t one you’d want to make, especially if it pertains to organized crime and the guys planning to testify end up dead. But if your brother is the crime boss’s right hand man, well, it certainly puts you in a tight spot. Now Terry Maloy’s relationship with Charley hasn’t helped him at all over the years. For one, he was once a promising boxer who’s still bitter of how Charley instructed him to deliberately lose a fight so his boss Johnny Friendly could win money. This perfectly illustrates that Charley has basically put his own needs before his younger brother in the past that while he’s fairly well off, Terry is struggling as a longshoreman on the docks. Second, Terry’s connection to Charley leads Friendly to having him to coax fellow dockworker Joey Doyle into a death trap. Now Terry had no idea that Friendly’s guys were going to kill him, assuming they would try to get him out of talking. But he nevertheless feels genuine guilt over it and resents being used as a tool. Over the course of the film Terry falls under increased pressure to testify against the mob, whether it’s from Father Barry, Doyle’s attractive sister Edie, witnessing a co-worker getting crushed by a load of whiskey, or his own conscience. But his brother’s place in the mob makes him reluctant to do so. And soon Johnny Friendly tells Charley that he either try to keep Terry quiet or kill him. Their taxicab conversation basically sums their relationship up when Terry says, “You don’t understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it. It was you, Charley.” Sure Charley may redeem himself at the end, but it comes at a great cost.

21. Connor Rooney

road-to-craig
From: Road to Perdition
The Problem: Like Hindley, Connor isn’t a brother in relation to Michael Sullivan Sr. But he counts nonetheless because they were raised together. Now despite being played by the future James Bond, Connor is a real piece of work, even by Irish mob standards. Hell, as far as mobster brothers go, he makes Michael Corleone seem like a saint. Now while his dad John loves him as any son, Connor has always despised Michael and is deeply jealous of the relationship the latter had with the former’s mob boss dad. To him, Michael has always been an outsider whose membership in The Sons of John Rooney is an intrusion. Still, Rooney’s favoritism to Michael is understandable since Connor is a violent and unstable screw-up with an entitlement complex who steals from his old man. Michael by contrast, is like the son Rooney never had, is basically everything Connor isn’t as well as has a nice family. Now when Michael’s 12 year old son witnesses Connor snap out and kill associate Finn McGovern as well as his dad mowing down McGovern’s men, Connor tries to use this as an excuse to kill the Sullivan and his folks. This despite that Michael trying to swear his son into secrecy and the elder Rooney pressuring him to apologize for his reckless actions. So Connor just sends Sullivan to a speakeasy with a message to the owner that all debts to Rooney will be forgiven if you shoot him in the head. Fortunately, Michael finds out about the plot and kills the owner. But Connor also comes up to Sullivan’s house where he murders Michael’s wife and younger son in the bathroom (Michael Jr. had to stay after school for detention). When Michael and his older son see Annie and Peter’s dead bodies, they’re completely devastated but can’t stay for the funeral because they’re forced to go on the run for their lives. Connor meanwhile, hires a sadistic hitman with an amateur photography hobby named Maguire to gun them down. It also puts Michael in a battle to not only save Michael Jr.’s life but also his soul, hence the title. It doesn’t help that Rooney is willing to protect Connor over guilt of not being a better father to him. As long as Rooney’s alive, Connor is basically untouchable. And as long as Connor’s still kicking, Sullivan and Michael Jr. are in mortal danger. So those who’ve seen the film can figure out what happens from there.

22. Andy and Hank Hanson

BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD
From: Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
The Problem: Not to be confused with the 1990s boy band or the violent but loveable hockey trio from Slapshot, there’s absolutely nothing likeable about these guys. Now older brother Andy is a finance executive who’s just embezzled from his employer (to fund a heroin addiction) hoping to escape to Brazil where there’s no extradition (he’s wrong, of course). Younger brother Hank owes 3 months of child support as well as his daughter’s private school tuition. So to solve their financial woes, these guys decide to rob their parents’ jewelry store. Now while Andy is certainly the ruthless schemer who causes the deaths of 5 people, including his mother, Hank is banging Andy’s wife but other than that, he’s a pushover. Still, after the robbery, Hank is blackmailed by their assistant’s brother-in-law into giving compensation to his widow. To resolve it, Andy robs a heroin dealer he frequents but Hank is utterly shocked when his brother kills the guy and a client. He also kills the blackmailer after paying him off. Not to mention, Andy turns the gun on Hank just to let him know that he knows what’s going on between him and Gina and that he doesn’t like it. Luckily, their dad does a little detective work and gives Andy what he deserves.

23. Michael

brodre01
From: Brothers
The Problem: Suffering from PTSD is no day at the beach, especially if you’re a vet who’s spent time as a POW in Afghanistan as well as under conditions that violate the Geneva Convention. Now Michael has been through hell and just wants to come back to his family. So much that he bludgeons his cell mate to death, which gives him an incredible guilt complex on top of that. Seriously, he needs to see a therapist but as he’s unwilling to discuss his wartime experience, he becomes full of paranoia, rage, and suspicion. Now while Michael was away, his screw up and ex con younger brother Jannik has looked after his family as well as turned a new leaf. He and Sarah even develop feelings for each other but they rightly decide not to pursue a relationship. But when Michael comes back, does he thank his brother for doing a good job? No, he basically tears apart Jannik’s kitchen improvements as well as threaten and abuse his wife, possibly suspicious that she and Jannik had a fling. And Jannik is the one who tries to keep Michael from causing further harm to his wife and kids. He also points a gun at a cop. And it doesn’t help that Jannik was a punching bag for Michael and their dad since he was always getting in trouble.

24. Richard, Duke of Gloucester (later King Richard III)

olivier-richard-iii1
From: Richard III
The Problem: Now the real Richard III wasn’t nearly as bad as the one we’re used to which is based on Tudor propaganda more than anything. Seriously, the real Richard III became king through just saying that Edward IV kids were bastards because he was engaged to another woman as well as having his other brother George’s kids declared illegitimate as well. Besides, he was running the country anyway and what he did was perfectly legal (not to mention, Edward IV was such a horndog that anyone in England would believe him and that the Woodvilles weren’t well liked at all). Not to mention, other kings would do the same thing. Still, seizing the throne, marrying Lady Anne (whom he actually loved all his life, by the way unlike in Shakespeare and he didn’t bump off her first husband and dad. Also, they had a 10 year old son by his coronation), hating the Woodvilles, imprisoning his nephews in the Tower, and dying at Bosworth Field (though he actually died fighting in the thick of battle) are basically the only things Richard actually did. Also, he never lived past 32. Shakespeare’s Richard III is basically the brother from hell who has his brother George drowned in a massive vat of wine, drives oldest brother Edward IV to an early grave, and has his imprisoned nephews killed. Sure it’s tough being the hunchbacked younger brother with the withered arm. But still Little Richard proves to be a rather entertaining but very manipulative and heartless bastard backstabbing family members and friends whenever it’s convenient. Of course, he wants to be king but he also wants to ruin everyone else in the process whether they be family, friends, allies, spouses, or countrymen. Still, despite the monstrosity Richard may be, you can’t really hate him, especially if played by Sir Laurence Olivier. Man, what a magnificent bastard.

25. Duke Michael

Prisoner_of_Zenda_1937_monocle_Massey
From: The Prisoner of Zenda
The Problem: Now it’s all right to be angry over passed over for your dad’s crown just because your mother wasn’t a princess while your stepmother was. And sure, it’s a pain in the ass to see your younger half-brother on the throne, especially if he tends to act like an overgrown frat boy who doesn’t take his duties seriously. Yes, King Rudolf should get his act together and take responsibility while spending less time boozing and shooting animals. However, it’s not okay to usurp the throne by drugging his wine on the night before his coronation, having your assistant kidnap him the next morning, and holding him at your castle dungeon under adverse conditions is not. Nor is wanting to execute him and marry his fiancée either. Fortunately, Rudolf has a distant English cousin who can fill in for him in the meantime. Still, Michael, maybe you should just give up your kingly dreams and settle down with your French girlfriend. I mean being king isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, anyway. Seriously, the Duke of Windsor gave up the throne to be in your position.

26. Simone Parondi

RoccoHisBrothers
From: Rocco and His Brothers
The Problem: Now out of all the Parondi brothers, second brother Simone is arguably the dysfunctional one who middle brother Rocco has to bail out. Of course, the younger Parondi boys had to move up north to Milan from their country life after their father’s death. But it’s Simone’s nefarious deeds that nearly drive the family apart and basically crush Rocco’s happiness since he’s way too nice for his own good. Now the ambitious Simone becomes a prizefighter and dates a prostitute named Nadia, she rejects him after he asked her for more than a casual relationship. When Rocco returns from a tour of duty in Turin, he meets Nadia and they enter into an exclusive relationship with her giving up her old lifestyle. Of course, since she’s had a history with his older brothers, a love like this would make Thanksgiving dinner very awkward. But Simone is incredibly possessive of Nadia as well as a selfish and raging alcoholic who’s turned to petty crime. Naturally when he sees Rocco and Nadia together, he decides to take revenge. So he gets a gang of friends, proceeds to attack the couple, and brutally rapes Nadia while forcing Rocco to watch. This leads Rocco to break up with her and tells Nadia to go back to Simone because he doesn’t want to see his brother angry or her getting killed. Sure Rocco wants to keep his family together and it’s all right he wants Simone to be happy. But what he really should’ve done is dump Nadia and tell her to get out of town. And Rocco is basically doomed as Simone’s enabler because he has no spine. When Simone stole a brooch and shirt at work, Rocco returns it. When he’s poor as henshit, he cajoles money from his brothers and robs his boss. And to repay Simone’s patron, Rocco signs a 10 year boxing contract, but he despises the sport. Yet, as Nadia returns to her own ways and rejects Simone again, he jealously stabs her to death and confesses to her murder after Rocco’s first victory. Fourth brother Ciro wisely calls the police on Simone and is ostracized by his family.

27. Taro and Jiro Ichimonji

ran
From: Ran
The Problem: If you think English royals had problems, then you have to see Japanese warlords. Now while he was young Hidetora was a powerful and feared warlord. But now he just wants to retire and divide the family business among his 3 sons. However, as the aging daimyo tries to show how being joint rulers strengthens a domain, youngest son Saburo tells him how dividing the family’s assets is a bad idea as well as that he should know better than to expect a peaceful and harmonious relationship among his kids since Hidetora gained power through ruthlessness and murdering his allies. But he’s banished along with anyone who defends him. Unfortunately, Saburo is right. And while he’s gone, Taro and Jiro basically feud over who’s going to be the next clan leader, driving their dad to Saburo’s castle prior to ransacking it to the point where Hidetora can’t even perform hari kiri just to restore his family honor. So Hidetora goes nuts. Not to mention, their forces stage a massacre as well. And it doesn’t help that these guys are being played by Taro’s wife Lady Kaede who’s a Lady Macbeth in her own right wanting revenge against the father-in-law who knocked off her family. She’s also shagging Jiro as well. And Jiro also kills Saburo for coming back and helping their dad. But as the result, the Ichimonji clan is destroyed by the end because these two didn’t want to share.

28. Tommy Miller

2004_The_Butterfly_Effect_134
From: The Butterfly Effect
The Problem: For one, he’s incredibly creepy even when he gets older. Secondly, he’s a total sociopath. Third, he’s extremely possessive of his sister Kayleigh and may feel more than brotherly affection for her. So when she starts dating Evan Treborn, Tommy either sets his dog on fire or tries to kill him putting Evan in prison for offing him in self-defense. And when he’s not a sociopath, then he’s a sweet, gentle born again Christian, but he’s still creepy. Oh, and did I tell you, he can beat up a guy twice his size?

29. Michael Myers

Halloween-Feature
From: The Halloween Franchise
The Problem: Michael was certainly trouble from the beginning since he’s a soulless killing machine. Unfortunately, his parents didn’t get the memo until after he stabbed his older sister with a kitchen knife for no explanation. Thus, he’s put in a mental institution from which he later escapes. However, somehow he finds out that his parents had another daughter who was giving up for adoption now known by the name of Laurie Strode (but this isn’t revealed until the second movie). Somehow Myers tracks her down and starts stalking her at school and when she’s babysitting on Halloween night. There he proceeds to kill her friends before attacking her but luckily his psychiatrist steps in. Yet, as we know in horror movies, we know that horror movie villains are only kept alive just to have room for a sequel. Oh, and after Laurie dies, Michael just goes after her daughter. Now trying to track a long lost biological sibling is understandable, but trying to kill her, well, that’s a bit much.

30. Dimitri and Ivan Karamazov as well as Pavel Smerdyakov

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From: The Brothers Karamazov
The Problem: To be fair, the Karamazov brothers all had a terrible childhood and a father who was a piece of shit ranging from absentee at best to downright abusive at worst. It’s a miracle that Alexei is the only good one of the bunch thanks to Father Zosima. The rest turn out just like you’d expect. Oldest brother Dimitri is a volatile party animal who’s only willing to contact his old man because he needs money and feels entitled to his inheritance. He also comes to violence and lethal threats to the elder Fyodor over a prostitute named Grushenka. Second brother Ivan is a nihilistic atheist who hates his dad and doesn’t show much affection for his brothers at first. He also has a thing for Dimitri’s fiancée Katrina Ivanova (though to be fair Dimitri doesn’t care much for her anyway despite what she thinks). However, Ivan’s influence turns destructive, especially when he states that in a world without God, “everything is permitted” (even though he doesn’t really believe this but his intellectual arrogance makes him blind to such unfortunate implications until after things go from bad to worse). And then there’s the epileptic Smerdyakov, who works as a servant and is almost certainly Fyodor’s illegitimate son. However, he’s misanthropic and antisocial as well as much smarter than he looks. Not to mention, he tortured stray cats as a child which suggest that he has the makings of a future serial killer. However, when Fyodor is killed, suspicion falls immediately to Dimitri for obvious reasons that even when he’s trying to explain what he did during the murder, police see his testimony as mounting evidence (even though Dimitri clearly didn’t do it). Thus, Dimitri is apprehended. But when Ivan goes nuts after hearing the truth about Fyodor’s murder from Smerdaykov which would’ve exonerated the oldest brother, the latter kills himself leaving Ivan unable to effectively help Dimitri during his trial. And the jury is more likely to believe Katarina who’s basically framing him out of spite, resulting in him being sent to Siberia. Nevertheless, could you really blame Alexei for wanting to live in a monastery?

Movie Stars Who Have Never Won an Oscar: Part 20 – Margaret Hamilton to Madeleine Carroll

Though taller than some of her leading men, Cyd Charisse was a staple of movie musicals throughout the 1940s and 1950s as well as appeared alongside Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire.

Though taller than some of her leading men, Cyd Charisse was a staple of movie musicals throughout the 1940s and 1950s as well as appeared alongside Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire.

Since my last 10 movie stars are all women, I open this final installment with a note about actresses. Now while actresses in Hollywood have always had less opportunity than men, ladies in the Golden Age of Hollywood didn’t have much better, especially with the morality clauses. Of course, a lot of actresses I’ve known during that period were in only a few known films and had less roles in movies I’ve never heard of as they aged. Yet, some who weren’t cast for their youth and beauty tended to be confined to character and supporting roles. So it’s no surprise that I didn’t compile as many. Yet, in this final edition here are 10 more. First, we have Margaret Hamilton famous for playing the Wicked Witch of the West but was actually a rather nice lady followed by Mildred Dunnock a schoolteacher who later played Mrs. Loman in Death of a Salesman. Second, there are versatile actresses Geraldine Fitzgerald and Ann Southern who’ve both had long careers as well as Nina Foch who played the Pharaoh’s daughter in The Ten Commandments (the one who found Moses).  After them comes Dame Flora Robson though not pretty played roles ranging from maids, queens, and serial killers on stage and screen followed by Una O’Connor who mostly played maids. Then there’s wholesome cute girl Jean Crain whom studios wanted to play teenagers for years. Next is Cyd Charisse best known for her long marriage to Tony Martin as well as her roles in movie musicals during the 1940s and 1950s. And last but not least is the first icy Hitchcock blonde herself, Madeleine Carroll. So without further adieu, here are 10 Oscar less actresses for your reading pleasure in this final edition I bring to you.

191. Margaret Hamilton

Wicked Witch of the West: [to Dorothy] "And as for you, my fine lady, it's true I can't attend to you here and now as I'd like; but just try to stay out of my way – just try! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!" Though Margaret Hamilton would traumatize generations of children as the Wicked Witch of the West, she was a sweet woman who frequently gave to charitable organizations, spoke for pet welfare, and dearly loved children.

Wicked Witch of the West: [to Dorothy] “And as for you, my fine lady, it’s true I can’t attend to you here and now as I’d like; but just try to stay out of my way – just try! I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!”
Though Margaret Hamilton would traumatize generations of children as the Wicked Witch of the West, she was a sweet woman who frequently gave to charitable organizations, spoke for pet welfare and public education, and dearly loved children.

Personal Life: (1902-1985) Born in Cleveland, Ohio. Attended Wheelock College in Boston where she became a teacher. Made her stage debut in 1923. Made her first film in 1933. Married to Paul Meserve for 7 years and had a son she raised on her own. Retired in 1982. Died of a heart attack in Salisbury, Connecticut at 82.
Famous for: American character actress best known as the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz. Career spanned for nearly 50 years and usually playing spinsters, particularly of the New England variety. Notable roles are Madame Du Barry from Hat, Coat, and Glove, Lucy Gurget from The Farmer Takes a Wife, Martha Perkins from Way Down East, Agatha from These Three, Drugstore Lady from Nothing Sacred, Mrs. Harper from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Miss Gulch / The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz, Martha Steele from Babes in Arms, Mrs. Gideon from My Little Chickadee, Mrs. Jackson from The Invisible Woman, Norah from Twin Beds, Mrs. Larch from The Ox-Bow Incident, Myrtle Ferguson from Johnny Come Lately, Norah from State of the Union, Teacher from The Red Pony, Mrs. Theresa Appleby from Bungalow 13, Elaine Zacharides from 13 Ghosts, Mrs. Nicholson from Paradise Alley, Miss Kaller from The Anderson Tapes, Daphne Heap from Brewster McCloud, and Mae from Rosie!.
Nominated for: Hamilton was never nominated for an Oscar.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1939 for The Wizard of Oz. Man, she was one mean and green witch.
Reasons: Trust me, you don’t want to give a statuette to a woman best known for playing a notorious villain known to traumatize kids for generations. It’s kind of a shame since she was a very nice person who cared deeply about children and frequently gave to charitable organizations. And it didn’t help that many children believed she was mean in real life.
Trivia: During the 1930s, she never put herself under contract to any one studio and priced her services at $1,000 a week to support herself and her son. Garland visited her and looked after her son while she was recovering in the hospital after she suffered burns during her exit from Munchkinland filming. When she returned, she said, “I won’t sue, because I know how this business works, and I would never work again. I will return to work on one condition — no more fireworks!” A stand-in for her wasn’t so lucky. Son commented that she enjoyed saying, “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”-that she sometimes used it in real life. Took roles in whatever medium she could get if she was free. Though she reprised her famous role on Sesame Street, her appearance hasn’t been aired since 1976 as a result of complaints from parents of terrified children. Yet, she also appeared on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood where she explained that she wasn’t a bad witch. Appeared in PSAs for organizations promoting the welfare of pets. Was lifelong friends with Ray Bolger. Served on the Beverly Hills Board of Education between 1948 to 1951, and was a Sunday school teacher during the 1950s.Said The Wizard of Oz was her favorite book since she was 4.

192. Mildred Dunnock

A school teacher who didn't start acting until her 30s, Mildred Dunnock was known to play sweet motherly figures such as Linda Loman from Death of a Salesman. Yet, she's the one in the wheelchair Richard Widmark pushes down the stairs in Kiss of Death.

A school teacher who didn’t start acting until her 30s, Mildred Dunnock was known to play sweet motherly figures such as Linda Loman from Death of a Salesman. Yet, she’s the one in the wheelchair Richard Widmark pushes down the stairs in Kiss of Death.

Personal Life: (1901-1991) Born in Baltimore, Maryland. Attended Goucher College. Was a school teacher who didn’t start acting until her early 30s. Made her first film in 1944. Married to Keith Urmy for 58 years and had 2 children. Retired in 1987. Died of natural causes at Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts at 90.
Famous for: American character actress whose career spanned 57 years. Notable roles are Miss Ronberry from The Corn is Green, Mrs. Rizzo from Kiss of Death, Linda Loman from Death of a Salesman, Señora Espejo from Viva Zapata!, Mrs. Ruth Golding from The Jazz Singer, Martha Reno from Love Me Tender, Mrs. Wiggs from The Trouble with Harry, Aunt Rose Comfort from Baby Doll, Miss Elsie Thornton from Peyton Place, Sister Margharita (Mistress of Postulants) from The Nun’s Story, Mrs. Wandrous from Butterfield 8, Pilar from Behold a Pale Horse, Mrs. Sherman from The Spiral Staircase, and Nellie from The Pick-Up Artist.
Nominated for: Dunnock was nominated twice for Best Supporting Actress in 1951 for Death of a Salesman and 1956 for Baby Doll.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1947 for Kiss of Death. I mean she should get something after what Richard Widmark did to her in that movie.
Reasons: Dunnock was nominated in very bad years and was burned out by the competition.
Trivia: Was a founding member of the Actors Studio.

193. Geraldine Fitzgerald

Though best known for playing the clueless Isabelle Linton from Wuthering Heights, Irish-American actress Geraldine Fitzgerald enjoyed a long acting career in film, theater, and television. Of course, we're not sure if her son's father was Orson Welles even though it's rumored to be.

Though best known for playing the clueless Isabelle Linton from Wuthering Heights, Irish-American actress Geraldine Fitzgerald enjoyed a long acting career in film, theater, and television. Of course, we’re not sure if her son’s father was Orson Welles even though it’s rumored to be.

Personal Life: (1913-2005) Born in Greystones, County Wicklow in Ireland. Father was an attorney. Studied painting at the Dublin School of Art and the Polytechnic School of Art. Debuted on stage in 1932 and made her first film in 1934. Became a US citizen during WWII. Married twice and had 2 children. Married to second husband Stuart Scheftel for 48 years. Retired in 1991. Died in New York City of Alzheimer’s Disease at 91.
Famous for: Irish American actress whose career spanned 59 years. Notable roles are
Maggie Tulliver from The Mill of the Floss, Isabella from Wuthering Heights, Ann King from Dark Victory, Marthe de Brancovis from Watch on the Rhine, Edith Bolling Galt from Wilson,
Ellen Rogers / Elaine Duprez from O. S. S., Gladys Halvorsen from Nobody Lives Forever, Elizabeth Grahame from The Obsessed, Marilyn Birchfield from The Pawnbroker, Rev. Wood from Rachel, Rachel, Mrs. Jackson from The Last American Hero, Jessie from Harry and Tonto, Grandma Carr from The Mango Tree, Maud Kennaway from Diary of the Dead, Martha Bach from Arthur, and Mrs. Monahan from Easy Money.
Nominated for: Fitzgerald was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1939 for Wuthering Heights.
Most Crushing Loss: Not receiving an honorary Oscar for her long and varied career.
Reasons: Perhaps it’s due to that we’re not sure who Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s father who’s said to resemble Orson Welles. Also was burned by the competition in 1939.
Trivia: Second husband was grandson of Isidor Straus who died on the Titanic. Was one of the first women to receive a Tony nomination for directing. Spent time as a cabaret singer in the 1970s. Mother of Let It Be director Michael Lindsay-Hogg but we’re not sure whether his father was her first husband or Orson Welles.

194. Nina Foch

Though most famous as Moses' adoptive mother in The Ten Commandments, Dutch born Nina Foch often played aloof, and often foreign women of sophistication. She was also blonde by the way and started in horror movies.

Though most famous as Moses’ adoptive mother in The Ten Commandments, Dutch born Nina Foch often played aloof, and often foreign women of sophistication. She was also blonde by the way and started in horror movies.

Personal Life: (1924-2008) Born Nina Consuelo Maud Fock in Leiden, Netherlands. Mother was an American actress and singer while father was a Dutch classical music conductor. Went with her mother to the US as a toddler after her parents divorced. Made her first film in 1943. Married 3 times and had a son to second husband Dennis de Brito. Lived at Beverly Hills for over 40 years. Died of complications from the blood disorder myelodysplasia (or kidney disease) at 84.
Famous for: Dutch-born American actress and leading lady in films from the 1940s to the 1950s. Played cool, aloof, and often foreign women of sophistication. Appeared in over 80 films and hundreds of TV shows. Notable roles are Nicki Saunders from The Return of the Vampire, Lois Garland from Shadows in the Night, Celeste from Cry of the Werewolf, Frieda Brenner from Strange Affair, Constantia from A Song to Remember, Milo Roberts from An American in Paris, Marie Antoinette from Scaramouche, Elena Cantu from Sombrero, Erica Martin from Executive Suite, Bithiah from The Ten Commandments, and Helena Glabrus from Spartacus.
Nominated for: Foch was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1954 for Executive Suite.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1960 for Spartacus. Yes, she didn’t have enough screen time but her portrayal of a Roman aristocrat was one of the most historically accurate in movie history.
Reasons: Probably had to do with the fact she was in a lot of horror movies early in her career. Also burned by the competition when she was nominated. I mean it should’ve been clear that Eva Marie Saint was going to win.
Trivia: Taught at the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts as well as spent time as an acting coach. Last name “Foch” rhymes with “Gosh” (I can see where mispronunciations can get out of hand).

195. Cyd Charisse

Born Tula Ellice Finklea, Cyd Charisse adopted her stage name by using an alternative spelling of her brother's nickname for her which was a mispronunciation of "Sis" and the surname of her first husband Nico. Also known for her long legs.

Born Tula Ellice Finklea, Cyd Charisse adopted her stage name by using an alternative spelling of her brother’s nickname for her which was a mispronunciation of “Sis” and the surname of her first husband Nico. Also known for her long legs.

Personal Life: (1922-2008) Born Tula Ellice Finklea in Amarillo, Texas. Father was a jeweler. Took dancing lessons as a child to overcome a bout of polio. Auditioned and danced for the Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo. Went to Hollywood after the company broke up in WWII. Made her first film in 1943. Married twice and had a son to each husband. Married to second husband Tony Martin for 60 years. Retired in 2007. Died of a heart attack at 86.
Famous for: American actress and singer whose abilities were featured in 1940s and 1950s musicals and transitioned to straight acting in the 1950s. Notable roles are Lily from Something to Shout About, Deborah Andrews from The Harvey Girls, Ballerina from The Ziegfeld Follies, Conchita from Fiesta, Rosa Senta from East Side, West Side, Dancer from Singin’ in the Rain, Gabrielle Gerard from The Band Wagon, Fiona Campbell from Brigadoon, Jackie Leighton from It’s Always Fair Weather, Maria Corvier from Meet Me in Las Vegas, Ninotchka Yoschenko from Silk Stockings, Charlotte King from Twilight of the Gods, and Sarita from The Silencers.
Nominated for: Charisse was never nominated for an Oscar.
Most Crushing Loss: Not receiving an honorary Oscar for her career. Seriously, she’s one of the best known dancers in 1950s musicals. Not to mention, she had to make herself look shorter than some of her co-stars like Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire which was no easy task.
Reasons: Charisse is best known for her dancing in musicals and her long marriage to Tony Martin but not much else. And basically only acted sporadically after the 1950s.
Trivia: Was listed under The Guinness Book of World Records for “Most Valuable Legs” because it’s said MGM reportedly insured for $5 million, though she claimed this was false. Wrote a joint memoir with second husband Tony Martin. Stage name originated from her brother’s nickname for her, “Sid” which was a mispronunciation of “Sis” and the last name of her first husband Nico Charisse. Awarded the National Medal of the Arts and Humanities in 2006. Daughter-in-law died in the American Airlines Flight 191 tragedy on May 25, 1979. Produced an exercise video targeted to senior citizens.

196. Una O’Connor

Born in a Catholic nationalist family in Northern Ireland, Una O'Connor would have an extensive career as a character actress mainly playing comical wives, housekeepers, and servants, especially in 1930s horror movies.

Born in a Catholic nationalist family in Northern Ireland, Una O’Connor would have an extensive career as a character actress mainly playing comical wives, housekeepers, and servants, especially in 1930s horror movies.

Personal Life: (1880-1959) Born Agnes Teresa McGlade in Belfast, Ireland to a Catholic Nationalist family. Changed her name when she began acting at Dublin’s Abbey Theatre. Made her first film in 1930. Never married or had children. Retired in 1957. Died of a heart attack at 78.
Famous for: Irish character actress known for playing comical wives, housekeepers, and servants. Notable roles are Ellen Bridges from Cavalcade, Jenny Hall from The Invisible Man, Wilson from The Barretts of Wimpole Street, Mrs. Gummidge from David Copperfield, Mrs. McPhillip from The Informer, Minnie from Bride of Frankenstein, Mary from Little Lord Fauntleroy, Bess from The Adventures of Robin Hood, Miss Latham from The Sea Hawk, Mrs. Mulcahey from The Strawberry Blonde, Marie from Lillian Russell, Tobacconist from Random Harvest, Norah from Christmas in Connecticut, Sarah Leek from Holy Matrimony, Mrs. Umney from The Canterville Ghost, Mrs. Breen from The Bells of St. Mary’s, Mrs. Foreman from Of Human Bondage, Duenna from The Adventures of Don Juan, and Janet from Witness for the Prosecution.
Nominated for: O’Connor was never nominated for an Oscar.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1957 for Witness for the Prosecution.
Reasons: She was basically typecast as the female comic relief. Also known to appear in a lot of horror movies and came from a Catholic nationalist family from Northern Ireland.
Trivia: Would not work on any radio program sponsored by a company that distributed or manufactured alcohol in any form.

197. Dame Flora Robson

Dame Flora Robson may not have had the looks of a leading lady, yet she played a wide range of roles on stage and screen from queens to killers. She also played Queen Elizabeth I in 2 movies.

Dame Flora Robson may not have had the looks of a leading lady, yet she played a wide range of roles on stage and screen from queens to killers. She also played Queen Elizabeth I in 2 movies.

Personal Life: (1902-1984) Born in South Shields, Durham in England. Came from a family of engineers and her father was a ship’s engineer who noticed her talent at 5. Grew up in London and attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. Made her stage debut at 19 but found it difficult to get parts because she lacked the conventional looks (she had a long face, big nose, and wide mouth). Made her first film in 1931. Private life mostly focused on her sisters so she never married or had children. Retired in 1981. Possibly died of cancer at 82.
Famous for: British actress and star of stage and cinema particularly renowned for her performances in plays demanding dramatic and emotional intensity. Range extended from queens to murderesses. Notable roles are Empress Elisabeth from The Rise of Catherine the Great, Livia from I, Claudius, Queen Elizabeth I of England from Fire Over England and The Sea Hawk, Ellen from Wuthering Heights, Angelique Buiton from Saratoga Trunk, Ftatateeta from Caesar and Cleopatra, Sister Philippa from Black Narcissus, Countess Clara Platen from Saraband, Nurse from Romeo and Juliet, Dowager Empress Tzu-Hsi from 55 Days at Peking, Miss Milchrest from Murder at the Gallop, Mrs. Cassidy from Young Cassidy, Queen of Hearts from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and A Stygian Witch from Clash of the Titans.
Nominated for: Robson was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1946 for Saratoga Trunk.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for any roles in her better known films most notably for Best Supporting Actress in 1947 for Black Narcissus.
Reasons: Robson was better known as a British actress on the stage than in Hollywood films. Also, Saratoga Trunk wasn’t a good movie according to critics. Not to mention being burned by the competition.
Trivia: Was of Scottish descent. Received an honorary doctorate from Durham University. Became a dame in 1960.

198. Ann Sothern

Ann Southern was an actress of many talents who performed on radio, stage, and screen for decades as well as started a variety of businesses she managed. She also survived hepatitis and a back injury in the1970s as well as lived to 92.

Ann Southern was an actress of many talents who performed on radio, stage, and screen for decades as well as started a variety of businesses she managed. She also survived hepatitis and a back injury in the1970s as well as lived to 92.

Personal Life: (1909-2001) Born Harriet Arlene Lake in Valley City, North Dakota. Mother was a concert singer and later vocal coach for Warner Bros. while father worked in importing and exporting. Grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota. At 4, her parents separated and would divorce in 1927. Started taking piano lessons at 5 and accompanied her mother in concert tours as long as school permitted it. Began voice lessons at 14. Attended the University of Washington but dropped out after a year and soon joined her mother where she won a role in a Warner Bros. revue. Made her first film in 1927. Married twice and had a daughter to second husband Robert Sterling. Contracted infections hepatitis after getting impure serum from England in the late 1940s which confined her to a bed. In 1974, she was injured in Jacksonville, Florida when a fake tree fell on her back which left her with a fractured lumbar vertebrae and damaged nerves in her legs. She was then subject to multiple hospitalizations, weight gain, back braces, depression, physical pain, and had to walk with a cane for the rest of her life. Retired in 1987 and moved to Ketchum, where she lived for the rest of her life. Died of heart failure at 92.
Famous for: American actress whose career spanned 6 decades starting from bit parts to starring roles. Worked on stage, radio, film, and television. Notable roles are Maisie Ravier from The Maisie series, Flo Adams from Brother Orchid, Joyce Harmon from Words and Music, Rita Phipps from A Letter to Three Wives, Crystal Carpenter from The Blue Gardenia, Sue Ellen Gamadge from The Best Man, Sade from Lady in a Cage, Mrs. Grace Argona from Sylvia, and Tisha Doughty from The Whales of August.
Nominated for: Sothern was nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1987 for The Whales of August.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1949 for A Letter to Three Wives.
Reasons: Sothern was just burned by the competition during her nomination. Also, she only acted sporadically in her later years.
Trivia: Maternal grandfather was Danish violinist Hans Nielsen and paternal grandfather was Quaker engineer and naval architect Simon Lake. Won a state sponsored contest for student musical composer 3 years in a row in high school. Was a classmate of Eddie Albert in high school and graduated in the same class with him. Converted to Roman Catholicism in 1952 and credited her faith with helping her get over her health issues. Had her own TV show. Opened the Ann Sothern Sewing Center in Sun Valley, Idaho which sold fabric, patterns and sewing machines in the 1950s. Had a cattle ranch in Idaho named the A Bar S Cattle Company. Owned Vincent Productions, Inc. as well as nightclubs in Las Vegas and Chicago. Also had her own music company called A Bar S Music Company and released albums. Mother of Tisha Sterling.

199. Jeanne Crain

While Jean Crain striven to be a serious actress on film, the studios always wanted her to play cute girls. For instance, despite thinking that Pinky would lead to better roles, 20th Century Fox cast her as a 13 year old girl despite that she was 25, married, and a mom.

While Jean Crain striven to be a serious actress on film, the studios always wanted her to play cute girls. For instance, despite thinking that Pinky would lead to better roles, 20th Century Fox cast her as a 13 year old girl despite that she was 25, married, and a mom.

Personal Life: (1925-2003) Born in Barstow, California and grew up in Los Angeles. Father was a school teacher. Was given a screen test opposite Orson Welles while in high school but didn’t get the part. Made her first film at 18 in 1943. Married to Paul Brinkman for 57 years (though they were separated at the time of his death) and had 7 children. Retired in 1975. Died of a heart attack at 78.
Famous for: American actress whose career spanned for 38 years. Worked from bit parts to starring roles. Notable roles are Margy Frake from State Fair, Ruth Berent from Leave Her to Heaven, Marjorie ‘Margie’ MacDuff from Margie, Julia Rogers from Centennial Summer, Deborah Bishop from A Letter to Three Wives, Patricia ‘Pinky’ Johnson from Pinky, Ann Gilbreth from Cheaper by the Dozen, Deborah Higgins from People Will Talk, Deborah Young from O. Henry’s Full House, Ruth Stanton Bowman from Dangerous Crossing, Connie Jones/Mitzi Jones from Gentlemen Marry Brunettes, Dora Temple from The Fastest Gun Alive, Diane Blane from The Tattered Dress, Letty Page from The Joker Is Wild, Laura Riley from Guns in the Timberland, Tenet/Nefertiti from Nefertiti, Queen of the Nile, Peggy Shannon from Madison Avenue, and Claudia Procula.
Nominated for: Crain was nominated for Best Actress in 1949 for Pinky.
Most Crushing Loss: Not being nominated for Best Supporting Actress in 1945 for Leave Her to Heaven. As Gene Tierney’s adoptive sister, she manages to hide a large amount of angst underneath that veneer of smiles and wholesomeness.
Reasons: Crain was more or less burned by the competition. Also, her character was supposed to be black passing for white, which should’ve went to Lena Horne anyway. Not to mention, while she hoped her role in Pinky would give her more serious parts, 20th Century Fox had other ideas like casting her as a 13 year old despite being 25, married, and a mother. Being cast as cute girls would get her passed over for more serious roles she should’ve played.
Trivia: Also noted for her ice skating. Miss Pan Pacific at the Pan-Pacific Auditorium in Los Angeles while in high school. In the late 1940s and early 1950s, was nicknamed ‘Hollywood’s Number One party girl’, and she was quoted saying that she was invited to at least 200 parties a year. Was earning $3,500 a week in the 1950s as well as her own dress line during the 1970s.

200. Madeleine Carroll

Madeleine Carroll would make movie history with her appearance in The 39 Steps as Alfred Hitchcock's first icy blonde that would appear in many of his later films. Yet, her service during WWII were just as remarkable as well.

Madeleine Carroll would make movie history with her appearance in The 39 Steps as Alfred Hitchcock’s first icy blonde that would appear in many of his later films. Yet, her service during WWII were just as remarkable as well.

Personal Life: (1906-1987) Born Edith Madeleine Carroll in West Bromwich, Staffordshire in England. Mother was a French immigrant while father was an Irish professor of languages. Attended and graduated from the University of Birmingham and taught an all girls’ boarding school. Made her first film in 1928. Married 4 times with second husband being Sterling Hayden. Had a daughter with fourth husband Andrew Heiskell. Became a US citizen in 1944. Moved to Paris in 1951 and would later move to Spain. Retired in 1955. Died in Marabella, Spain from pancreatic cancer at 81.
Famous for: British American actress who was popular in both the 1930s and 1940s. At the peak of her success she was the highest paid actress in the world, earning a then staggering $250,000 in 1938. Notable roles are Diana Cheswick from The Guns of Loos, Lucille de Choisigne from Madame Guillotine, Queen Caroline Matilde of Denmark from Loves of a Dictator, Pamela from The 39 Steps, Elsa Carrington from Secret Agent, Judy Perrie from The General Died at Dawn, Linda Stewart from Safari, Charlotte Dunterry from Virginia, Carol Delbridge from Bahama Passage, Karen Bentley from My Favorite Blonde, and Mrs. Erlynne from The Fan.
Nominated for: Carroll was never nominated for an Oscar.
Most Crushing Loss: Not receiving an honorary Oscar for her career and her distinction as the prototype for the icy Hitchcock blonde. Also, not receiving the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for her tireless efforts during and after WWII.
Reasons: Well, for one, there weren’t as many slots for Academy Award nominees as there are now in the 1930s (especially in the early years). Also, took an acting hiatus in WWII after her sister was killed in a German air raid during the Blitz and would be involved in the plight of European children some time afterwards.
Trivia: Was the first Hitchcock blonde. Was a Red Cross (and later US Army Air Corps) nurse during WWII after her sister was killed in the Blitz. Donated her chateau outside Paris to more than 150 orphans and arranged groups in California to knit for them. Awarded the Legion d’Honneur for her efforts by France as well as the American Medal of Freedom. Dwight D. Eisenhower said that of all the movie stars he met in Europe during the war, he was the most impressed with her and Herbert Marshall. Conducted a radio program fostering French-American friendship and helped in the rehabilitation of concentration camp victims after WWII. Formed a production company with her third husband which made several 2 reel documentaries with one strongly shown in Canada focusing on the devastation of children’s lives in WWII Europe which became a prime source of funds of for the manufacture of artificial limbs for wounded children. First British beauty to be offered a major American film contract. Fourth husband was publisher of Life Magazine.