SantaCon Costumes Are Coming to Town (Fifth Edition)

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Now we get to the Christmas outfits. Midway through the Christmas season is SantaCon, a day long public booze fest and orgy that could land a child in several years of therapy. Seriously, if kids see a bunch of drunk Santas around, they’ll have a lot of questions parents won’t be prepared to answer. Like how much does Santa drink? How’s his marriage to Mrs. Claus been lately? And what the hell was Santa doing with that elf in aisle 5 at Wal Mart? Then you have cops who dread this annual debauched Christmas tradition that has started in the States but now has spread worldwide. Now I don’t recommend people to dress up like a Santa, drink a shitload of booze, screw a snowman in public, and get a great Christmas mugshot at the local police station. In fact, you can’t since it was last Saturday. But I do encourage you to look at these SantaCon costumes.

  1. These 3 elf ladies are watching you.
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Though these women are rather naughty. Since they’ll be frolicking on the streets under the influence.

2. These women are insulated in their own snow globes.

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These are made from plastic, by the way. Yet, they wear ugly sweaters underneath. One’s a Christmas tree. The other’s a snowman.

3. Gangsta Santas are coming to town.

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One wears a suit with Christmas trees and wreaths. The other wears a Santa suit. Both have gold chains around their necks.

4. Let’s all hear it for the birthday boy.

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This is a Jesus costume. Though it’s more appropriate for the Easter passion play. But you can’t revel in booze and orgies during that time.

5. Santas always love to party.

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One guy wears a white clown wig. Also has chains over his Santa suit and green shirt.

6. Black fur always brings winter glamor.

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Yet, the skirt is way too short. So if you wear it, put on some leggings as well.

7. She seems quite frosty, doesn’t she?

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Once again, her skirt is too short. And I don’t think the socks will keep her warm either.

8. She takes Christmas in jest.

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She wears a Santa jester hat and sunglasses. The sunglasses say, “Ho Ho Ho.”

9. She walks out in striped socks.

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And she wears a short Santa dress with straps. Will obviously wear a coat at SantaCon, don’t you think?

10. This elf’s ready to please Santa.

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Indeed, since her skirt’s awfully short. If it weren’t for the fake fur trim, she’d work as a stripper Peter Pan.

11. Mrs. Claus always knows what Santa wants.

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She wears a long red dress and a lace cap. And yes, she knows all about her husband, doesn’t she?

12. She must be a flashy nutcracker soldier.

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It’s pink, sparkly, and trimmed with fur. And I’m pretty sure it’s worn by a mannequin.

13. She’s looking for something naught this Christmas.

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Since her outfit seems to resemble some kind of lingerie. Also includes Santa hat.

14. Don’t mess with these reindeer does.

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They just wear makeup and antlers. All the rest is regular winter clothing.E

15. Even Mickey Mouse attends SantaCon.

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He wears a Santa suit with his trademark shorts. Not sure how he keeps warm.

16. This elf is ready to party.

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She wears a green outfit with hood and a green and red tulle skirt. Comes with matching red sunglasses.

17. Kids approach Santa and his gang in Hawaii.

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Well, this doesn’t seem too bad. Santa even wears shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, too.

18. She comes tight laced in her Santa suit.

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Well, it’s more of a leotard. Hope her black pants can keep her warm through the Santa Con revelry.

19. Care to smile for a group photo?

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One’s dressed as a firefighter. Another’s dressed as a snowflake queen.

20. Santa and Mrs. Claus know how to have a good time.

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He wears a Christmas themed Hawaiian shirt. She dons a long fur and velvet red cape. Both wear sunglasses.

21. Just hanging around at the bar.

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You even have a few wise men here. One waves a Terrible Towel for some reason. So is this Pittsburgh?

22. Santa hangs out with a chimney girl.

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Well, she wears an ugly sweater. But she has a chimney hat on. So I’ll count that.

23. One elf carries a large sack.

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The sack is in red and white striped colors to match his sock. Wonder what’s inside it. And do I really want to know?

24. Perhaps a gray Santa suit will do nicely.

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The guy even wears one with presents and snowflakes. She just wears a red Santa coat with a red strapless top.

25. Want to hug a Christmas tree?

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Though he seems more dressed like a Christmas shrub. Even has ornaments hanging on him.

26. Krampus comes to town looking for brats.

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But here he just wants to have a good time. And yes, he’ll scar some onlooking kids for life. Even if they have no idea who he is.

27. These girls just want to have fun.

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Some are dressed in lights. One’s dressed as Cindy Lou Who from The Grinch.

28. Everyone wants to party with these Santas.

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Both of these guys wear sunglasses, too. One even has a rather interesting and unconventional Santa hat.

29. A simple Santa dress will do.

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Still awfully short. But at least it comes with fur leggings on the shins. So that’s something, isn’t it?

30. Strapless is always the way to go.

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She has fur trimmed gloves, too. Though I’m not sure about the Santa top.

31. Santa and Mrs. Claus stroll into town.

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Well, they wear rather conventional Christmas attire like you’d expect. Though Santa does carry a walking stick and jingle bells.

32. My, that’s a colorful Santa.

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This one wears a pirate hat with a colorful beard. Makes me wonder if this Santa was at Woodstock.

33. Mobster Santa gives good kids an offer they can’t refuse.

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And for bad kids, instead of coal, he makes them full of lead so they can more easily sleep with the fishes. He also smokes cigars.

34. Merry Hipster Christmas like it’s anywhere near mainstream.

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Sure she wears candy cane leggings under her fur coat. Because that’s totally not mainstream.

35. These ladies love to go on the town.

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Yet, they don’t appear to wear much. Wonder if either are shivering since it can get quite cold this time of year.

36. Hipster Santa knows what’s hip.

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Okay, this is a woman costume. But it’s quite skimpy and not meant for incredibly freezing temperatures.

37. The Grinch and Max will show you a good time.

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Must they have sexy costumes for everything? What’s next, Donald Trump? On second thought, please don’t let there be a costume of that stinking cesspit of a human being.

38. This elf girl is all jingles.

She wears an outfit of green and red. While her reindeer friend walks behind her.

39. These 3 Santas crashed a Mexican tequila bar.

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Since they’re all wearing sombreros. Well, 2 wear Santa suits and the other wears a red hoodie.

40. This snazzy man hangs out with his favorite elf.

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He wears a Christmas tree tie and a light necklace. Also sports a top hat for flair.

41. Even a Christmas cowgirl needs a drink.

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Here she sneaks a drink into her red and white jacket. Also sports a red cowboy hat.

42. I believe they’re on the merry side of the Force.

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They’re dressed as Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Chewbacca. All in their Christmas glory.

43. These women are on the street in their pajamas.

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Kind of weird to see them like this. Almost reminds of what you’d see with People at Wal Mart.

44. Here’s a rather unique Santa.

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He’s go a Santa hat on with spikes. While he warms himself in a black fur coat.

45. Perhaps you’d prefer a black Santa outfit instead.

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She also has purple hair and fishnet stockings. Not sure if it’s winter weather appropriate though.

46. Someone’s riding Santa’s shoulders.

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Seems like it’s his lucky day. Okay, it’s just a costume. And yes, it’s rather freaky.

47. Seems Frosty doesn’t come with much this year.

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She wears a rather short outfit. Wonder if she’s got any white leggings with it. Since she’s bound to freeze.

48. These elf girls enjoy a morning walk.

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If they’re not having fun at Santa Con, they’re working in Santa Land. Both wear leggings of red and green fur.

49. You can’t go up any shorter can you?

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Is she one of Santa’s hookers? Since she’s wearing a bra with her red shorts and suspenders.

50. Want to see these Santa girls?

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They all wear fake leather skirts with fur trim. They also wear Santa hats and strapped tops.

51. Jesus comes out to celebrate his birthday.

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He comes wearing a birthday hat. While a star appears beside him.

52. This reindeer girl is eager to please.

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Has Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer glasses. She also wears a Christmas vest and Santa hat.

53. This man is in his full Santa revelry.

He’s only partially covered. But his Santa hat has a large jingle on it.

54. Come to the Island of Misfit Toys.

Two Santas hang out with Yukon Cornelius and the toys. Toys present are the doll, the elephant and the Charlie-in-the-Box.

55. She’s a toy soldier. He’s being carried by Santa.

She has a little drum to beat. He’s got a trophy cup to show off. Not sure why.

56. Get a load of these 2 gingerbread figures.

Both are in rather cartoonish figures. Also, why cover their heads?

57. Seems like Santa gets on with the Grinch.

Well, I’m sure Christmas may get to Santa once in a while. After he’s got so much pressure to deliver billions of presents in one night.

58. Want to pose with Krampus?

That’s a rather scary monster. But these women don’t seem to mind too much.

59. You can’t go tighter than this.

Hey, at least she’s wearing pants. Her cuffs and neckline is trimmed with white fur.

60. Sometimes a coat is all you need.

She only wears a belt. While her legs are covered in black tights. Hope they’re thick enough for increment weather.

61. Sometimes people even bring their kids.

This Santa brings his kid dressed as an elf. Despite that Santa Con is no such place for kids.

62. Found him with the dreidel girl.

Yes, Waldo can be everywhere. Even among Santas in jumpsuits and fedoras.

63. A Christmas suit always gets the girls.

His suit has snowmen, Christmas trees, stars, and reindeer. And yes, one woman wears a Santa dress.

64. Santa’s taking his elf places.

Is that a segway? Still, one elf rides in the basket. As Santa drives.

65. Hanukkah Man comes with his gift bag.

He’s even wearing his menorah hat. While he’s put on his Hanukkah shirt.

66. Santa’s the mascot of Christmas.

Well, he pretty much is. Yet, this costume depicts him with a cartoonish head you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in.

67. She’s the height of candy cane couture.

She wears candy cane tights with pink and red furs. Her tiara’s made from pink and red icicles and baubles.

68. These toy soldiers are proud to serve Santa’s Army.

Though you’ll have to wind them up before they can march off to war. And they’re currently getting crushed by global warming.

69. At Santa Con, the Santas run with Jesus.

And apparently, the Santas find it hard to keep up. Despite that Jesus only wears sandals but no pants.

70. Hipster Santas take Santa Con by storm.

Well, there’s a reindeer among them. But one wears a beard with braids.

71. She’s all set to frolic among the Santas.

She wears a red Santa dress with a jacket of pom pom fasteners. Though her skirt’s rather short.

72. Ladies and Gentlemen, the King of the North Pole.

He’s dressed in a mashup of Santa and Elvis. And yes, he’s brimming with rhinestones.

73. Mrs. Claus sure knows how to dress.

Indeed, she’s in a lovely outfit with poinsettia hair decorations. But the Santa next to her really creeps me out.

74. Gingy’s really enjoying himself.

Here he stands with Santa. Not sure what the other 2 are supposed to be. Probably part of some ice skating show.

75. She prefers the company of penguins.

And they’re dressed like costumed mascots. Unfortunately, they’re not affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

76. This Santa comes in support of his team.

Not sure where this is. Yet, one dons a jersey that he thinks go with his shorts.

77. Why so serious during this holiday season?

Yes, this is a Joker Santa. And he’s got lights on his beard. Nonetheless, please keep away from him.

78. Bet you’d want this hippopotamus for Christmas.

Well, he’s dressed as a hippo. But hey, at least he’s not as dangerous a real one that would tear you to pieces.

79. Want to sound the heralds?

Here she wears her cheerful attire and blows her horn. Also carries a sack over her back.

80. There’s a robot in front of the White House.

Well, it’s a snowman bot. And I bet its here to freeze the Trump adminstration during the impeachment proceedings.