Ghastly Halloween Greetings in the Ghoulish Days of Old (Fourth Edition)

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Now it’s onto the vintage Halloween greeting cards. Over the years, I’ve showed my readers all the crazy Halloween vintage cards out there. Sure, the pumpkin scarecrow smoking a pipe might not fly today. Yet, compared to some of the old Halloween cards out there, it’s pretty tame. Of course, you’ll see plenty of witches, jack-o’-lanterns, ghosts, goblins, devils, skeletons, and other scary figures in the night. Yet, you’d also see plenty of other strange figures that would make you wonder whether these cards were created on an opium haze. You’ll find creatures made out of pumpkins and gourds. You’ll see children with pumpkin heads. You may even see a man in the moon with an unsettling grin. Furthermore, you may think the kids in these cards seem uncannily sinister than cute. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of crazy Halloween cards bound to give you either the giggles or nightmares.

  1. “When witches abound/And ghosts are seen/Your fate you will learn/On Halloween.”
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However, after she’s carving that pumpkin, Elsie plans on going on a midnight murder spree with her friends. Her cat’s not pleased.

2. “Gladys, I think you’ve been smoking peyote for far too long.”

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I don’t know about you, but the jack-o’-lantern seems pretty high. Like how is that possible?

3. “On Hallowe’en look in the glass/Your future husband’s face will pass.”

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Though I’d worry more about the shadowy witch behind her if I was that woman. Seriously, she’s literally in the shadows.

4. Have a happy Halloween but look out for goblins.

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So that’s what those pumpkin people near the mushrooms supposed to be. Yet, these kids don’t seem scared by them for some reason.

5. “Beware! The time is here/In which the witches do appear.”

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Forget the witches. I think the clock is kind of freaky looking. Not to mention, it has a jack-o’-lantern pendulum.

6. This witch comes to cast you a Halloween spell of good luck and riches.

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Judging by the cat freaking out, I kind of beg to differ. Since the witch kind of seems sinister with a jack-o’-lantern light.

7. Beware of the pumkinheaded man on top a white horse.

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Oh, wait, that’s a guy dressed as a pumpkinheaded man on a horse. Also, what’s with the cats on their backs? Are they dead?

8. Remember, ghosts come out on Halloween night.

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The owl’s like, “I freaking go out at night. You think I didn’t know that already?”

9. Beware of going out at night when the pumpkin man is on the premises.

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This boy doesn’t know what’s coming to him. Also, what’s with the green cat?

10. Halloween greetings from the little witch in the pumpkin house.

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Okay, that house looks pretty freaky. Yet, the little witch is more upset about her jack-o’-lantern falling apart.

11. On Halloween, even the cars have faces.

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That will certainly give you a deer in the headlights look. The kid driving it is even freakier.

12. Happy Halloween from the spider woman.

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Really don’t want to know how they would’ve drawn Spiderman. Seriously, the spider with a woman’s head already scares the shit out of me.

13. “May Halloween fun be yours.”

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These kids appear like the stuff of nightmares. No wonder the man in the moon is kind of freaking out.

14. Bobbing for apples is great Halloween fun.

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I wouldn’t think this boy sees it that way. More like he doesn’t want to go through that again.

15. “Boil and bubble/Toil and trouble.”

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The cat’s like, “When you’re finished, please don’t test it on me. I don’t want know what it’ll do to me!”

16. “On Halloween: a dark secret.”

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What’s that girl doing with that boy’s hand? I don’t have a good feeling about her.

17. You won’t get a fright if you set a jack-o’-lantern alight.

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However, I’m more scared of seeing the Ooompah Loompahs hauling a pumpkin out of the patch. Seriously, ever saw them sing whenever a kid succumbs to temptation?

18. Be wary of black cats on Halloween.

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For they seem to eye the girl with her jack-o’-lantern so eerily. Like they’re her minions doing her bidding. Even witches have trouble with black cats.

19. The demons always love to come out on Halloween.

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Though the smoking pumpkins seem far more sinister. The devils just seem like they’re jumping freestyle.

20. This lovely witch wishes you a joyful Halloween.

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But her broomstick is equipped with state of the art pumpkins and gourds. the jack-o’-lantern serves as headlights.

21. Nothing is more fun on Halloween than a witches’ circle.

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As the witches dance around the jack-o’-lantern, the cat’s hairs stand on end. Guess it doesn’t like how things are going or something more sinister.

22. Beware when the pumpkinhead ghosts comes to your door.

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I can see why this woman is certainly upset to see this ghoul. Since I’d feel the same way.

23. Halloween greetings from the night fairies.

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Here they carry Chinese lanterns on sticks. Still, I’m not sure what fairies have to do with Halloween.

24. On Halloween night, best to look behind the ghost in the mirror.

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Seems like the Oompah Loompahs are behind it. Though such hijinks by them seems kind of benign in comparison.

25. On Halloween night, even the youngest witches come out.

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By how that girl smiles, I can understand why the cats are freaking out. Since she seems likely to whack someone with her broomstick.

26. Don’t forget to feed the pumpkin on Halloween night.

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And here the demons are getting all the kindling and fuel at the ready. All this does is make the pumpkin even more terrifying.

27. To deter tick-tackers, always keep a pumpkin scarecrow in handy.

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Sure it may seem to do the trick. All this kid needed was a jack-o’-lantern, stakes, and a white sheet.

28. Look out, it’s the pumpkin man!

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Actually, I’m more disturbed with the costumed kids than the running pumpkin guy. After them, pumpkin man! Get ’em!

29. These children wish you a happy Halloween around the jack-o’-lantern.

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Though I’m not sure what scares me more: the creepy children or the glowing jack-o’-lantern. Yet, the cats seem to take it in stride.

30. “To greet you heartily this Hallowe’en.”

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Heartily? These pumpkins seem to go after the scared black cat with the intention to kill.

31. This witch gives you Halloween greetings from her pumpkin cauldron.

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Though she doesn’t seem happy with what she’s doing. “Why did I have to brew draught of the living dead when I could’ve left home and become a magician?”

32. Girls and boys always enjoy bobbing for apples.

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Jack-o’-lantern’s like “they’re going make out, aren’t they? Why do I have to see this?”

33. “The pumpkin light of Hallowe’en is the only by which elves are seen.”

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Those are elves? More like terrifying goblins from what I see. Please, keep them away.

34. Halloween greetings from the pretty red-haired witch.

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Apparently, the man in the moon seems to enjoy seeing her. The cat, not so much.

35. You can never have too many bats in the house on Halloween.

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Yet, why she’s in a lovely silk pink dress among the bats, I don’t have the slightest idea. And why is she holding up a broomstick? Is she a witch?

36. “You’ll meet your fate on Hallowe’en.”

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Well, the mice certainly know their fate. Yet, the pumpkin head kids on a log also give me nightmares.

37. Hope you have fun at a Halloween party.

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The girl in the witch costume is like, “I’d like to go home now.” And judging by the cats freaking out and the guy’s ghastly scarecrow costume, I wouldn’t blame her.

38. A Halloween bonfire is always a good time.

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However, these kids don’t seem to have any fun. Also, wonder what’s in that pot the ghost is stirring.

39. Guys, if you look into the fire on Halloween, you’ll see your future wife.

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Okay, that’s kind of freaky. Maybe he should try the mirror, that might be safer. Reminds me too much of Frollo’s “Hellfire.”

40. Halloween is always a night of revelry in an enchanted world.

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Are naked gnomes? God, they’re hideously terrifying. Definitely giving me bad dreams tonight.

41. A witch enjoys spending time with a pumpkin on a seesaw.

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Though the cat seems freaked out by the witch, I’m more terrified over the pumpkin. Also, its limbs seemed made out of peanuts.

42. “Don’t be scared on Hallowe’en/Things are seldom what they seem.”

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Yeah, that helps when you have a pumpkin headed demon behind you. Know that I was being sarcastic.

43. Beware of the dreaded pumpkin men on Halloween night.

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Here is a woman on a pumpkin who seems unimpressed by what she sees. Like she thought they’d be more scary looking.

44. Best you don’t get scared this Halloween.

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Apparently, that kid is like, “Just imagine what you’ll dream about when I get to you.” Don’t have a good feeling about this.

45. There’s nothing on Halloween than a dance with the pumpkin guys.

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Okay, I think whoever designed this car must’ve been some heavy drugs at the time. Yet, the cat’s basically like, “What the fuck is going on here?”

46. You’ll never know what will come out of your jack-o’-lantern on Halloween night.

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Kid doesn’t seem to mind that a witch is literally coming out of his pumpkin. Yet, even he doesn’t seem particularly right in the head either.

47. Don’t go in the woods on Halloween night if you dare.

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Those trees behind the boy seem particularly sinister. Get out of there, Johnny, before they kill you!

48. Halloween is always a time of spooks in the night.

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Though I think the moon seems to scare the shit out of me more than anything else in this card. Seriously, he doesn’t seem up to any good.

49. Perhaps you might want to go on a Halloween balloon ride.

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Yet, the balloon seems eerily empty. While the jack-o’-lantern still smiles. Not sure what to think.

50. Halloween greetings from a little witch and her cat.

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Cat’s basically like, “Help me!” You can’t even imagine what kind of hell it’s living through as this girl says, “I’ll hug ’em and squeeze ’em, and kee ’em forever and ever.”

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