Note: Since this pertains to District 13, there might be spoilers for those who haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 1 or read the books. Just to warn you.

As I’ve said before District 13 was once thought to be destroyed prior to Mockingjay but managed to survive and move underground due to the doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction. Or in other words, “if you nuke us, we nuke you” kind of thing that might bring upon an apocalypse of sorts. Nevertheless, District 13 specializes in nuclear technology, graphite, and weapons. And while it’s a center of rebellion and refuge as well as extremely welcoming to almost anyone, it’s not a fun place to live. Unfortunately for Katniss and anyone who’s survived the District 12 bombing (which was less than 900 of its residents), they don’t have anywhere else to go. Still, living there is like being on an underground military base, but way less fun and far more restrictive. Yet, on the bright side, they have free education up to 8th grade and all refugees can become citizens. But as far as the good stuff goes. When citizens wake up, they’re given a temporary tattoo for their personalized schedule for the day they must abide and must wear tracking bracelets on wrists. They’re also thrifty and ration food carefully that even a small thing wasted is heavily frowned upon and even minor theft can be punished by detention and/or torture. Oh, and everyone wears the same gray uniforms and sleeps in identical living quarters. Not to mention, it requires everyone to train for the military from age 14 on and everyone is addressed as “Soldier.” And they don’t allow pets either.

For a good parody on life in District 13 would be to rip off from “Knights of the Round Table” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Now the original was about how Camelot was such a great but silly place to live where they do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable. Living in District 13 is nothing of the sort and I can tell they don’t eat ham and jam and spam a lot. Because they would be punished for it. But I think it would be funny to describe the miserable life of District 13 than in an upbeat and funny song. Because let’s just say their lives are so regimented and dull that they need something to entertain themselves.

 

“District 13’s People”

Sung by District 13

 

Katniss: Thirteen.

Finnick: Thirteen.

Haymitch: Thirteen.

Beetee: It’s only a model.

Plutarch: Victors, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to District 13.

 

District 13:

We’re District 13’s people

We work when e’er we’re able

We’ve strict routines, no chorus scenes

With tracking impeccable

We dine well here in 13

We eat our meals rationed carefully

 

We’re District 13’s people

Our force is so formidable

Though many times we get assigns

That are quite unbearable

We’re welcoming in 13

We’re really big fans of refugees

 

In war we’re tough and able

Quite indefatigable

We’re not so heft with waste and theft

And torture the uncontrollable

It’s a busy life in 13

I have to clean up the latrine

 

Katniss: Well, on second thought,

Let’s not go to 13, it is a silly place.

Gale: Sorry, but there’s no District 12 left.