This isn’t a great picture. But with the possible exception of the NFL scarf and my glasses, most of my Steeler regalia is licensed under the NFL alongside the Terrible Towel. I received the shirt and earrings as Christmas presents. And I bought the Terrible Towel during my time as a student at Saint Vincent College (which hosts Steelers Training Camp since the 1960s). The football draft protector on top of that sailing picture is also licensed. which has been in my family for years.

Now I understand that people grill during tailgating. But I’m not sure why anyone would take this heavy thing with them to the stadium. I mean a George Foreman grill would do just as good and is way easier to carry.

Now this is quite clever. After all, Packers are called Cheeseheads for a reason. It was only a matter of time before they’d come up with this.

Now this kind of clever as well. After all, everyone needs a place for toppings and condiments for their burgers and hot dogs. Still, I think one for all occasions would be better.

Now NFL licensed tennis shoes and baby booties are one thing. However, if I went to a stadium game, I’d usually opt for athletic shoes. Not for these.

I’m sure this set won’t be used for drinking beer. Those are shot glasses. Of course, this will probably be in uses for any Cowboys fan to drown in their sorrows when their team loses.

That way, any nurse loving the Denver Broncos can show support for their team even during the weekends on call. I’m sure being in the hospital during game day is now picnic.

Sure they may make a great gift for him. But when will a guy use these is the question. I don’t know about you but I’m no fan of sports imagery mixing with formal wear.

If you like Peyton Manning but aren’t sure whether to wear his jersey from the Colts or the Broncos, this solves your problems. I mean why choose when you could have both?

Not sure if sports imagery and office stuff go together. However, when it comes to buying office stuff for football fans, I’d just stick to office supplies.

Now this is interesting. Clever how it has a helmet design. However, let’s hope this person lives in a safe neighborhood because I’m sure this mailbox is made from plastic. And let’s just say, plastic mailboxes don’t do well against vandalism. Believe me, I know.

Now I don’t get this. Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of women who love football. I can understand NFL themed underwear or pajamas for either gender and all ages. But NFL themed lingerie is ridiculous.

Yeah, having a NFL branded toast from a football toaster for breakfast. Seems more like an expensive novelty item that I don’t need.

I have to admit, this is quite clever. Now the potato chips can be on top while the other stuff is situated at the face mask.

Okay, I can totally understand the NFL selling baseball caps. But sequins baseball caps? I’m sure women will be perfectly fine buying the regular ones.

Now I’m sure the NFL sells team snuggies all the time. But this one is particularly noteworthy since it has a player from the neck down on it.

I think this is from the same company that made the ridiculous pet jewelry. And like pet jewelry, it’s probably a very expensive thing nobody needs.

Now I know there are many female Steeler fans out there. But Steeler high heels? Seriously, I might like high heels as much as the next girl. But I’d usually wear them for more formal occasions. Besides, high heels aren’t the most comfortable. Seriously, why?

Now lacy underwear is one thing. But sexy NFL sleepwear is a whole different matter. I’m sure there are plenty of women who love professional football. But how many of them are willing to buy an NFL negligee I have no idea.

Now I featured the high heel bottle holder in an earlier post as a bad Mother’s Day gift. Make it NFL themed and it achieves a whole new level of tackiness. Why the NFL sells these, I have no idea.

It’s also said to be collapsible and insulated. So this is no ordinary picnic basket. But one with all the perks of a lunchbox and/or cooler.

Now I have no idea why any girl would want a NFL themed bachelorette party. And even so, I’m not sure who the hell would have a veil like this.

Don’t really see miniature gardeners as football fans. But what do I know? Still, they sell stuff like this at SkyMall, just so you know.

I suppose these are more or less collector’s items and used more often for decoration. Not sure if anyone would use them for drinking.

Now this is actually quite ingenious. Gives the concept, “ultimate NFL fan” a whole new meaning. Wonder how big it is.

It’s said that amid of the Deflategate scandals, Tom Brady considered wearing one of these during his suspension. But it was later lifted by a federal judge in New York, on account that Brady was on his fantasy football team.

For some NFL fans, a team themed couch might be something they’d like to have, but will never get. Well, unless they’re married to someone who’s as much of a passionate football as them or very rich.

I have no qualms of the NFL selling pacifiers. But bling pacifiers? Seriously, why? A regular pacifier is cheap and does the job just as well. A bling pacifier is just so goddamned stupid.

This will probably be a good addition to anyone’s man cave, bar room, or bachelor pad living room. Then again, if you want a team coffee table, you could just put team decals on it and take them off whenever you want. It’s also much cheaper.

Of course, knowing birds, I’m sure this would be covered in bird shit once it’s in use. Hope the fan doesn’t take it personally. But that’s what birds do.

Now I suppose that whoever buys this would be willing to buy a generic kitchen item to show that they’re more of a fan than you. I mean nobody needs a NFL team logo on their grilled cheese sandwich.

From Sporting News: “The perfect topping to make a football party even more football partier. Apply the helmet of this subpar team to any piping hot pizza and revel in its edibleness. Mediocrity tastes delicious.”

From Sporting News: “What better way to bring endless cheer than this holiday reminder that your team is playing for a draft pick? Nothing says ‘the birth of Jesus’ quite like corporate propaganda.” I think I’d rather go with a generic Christmas angel and star, thank you very much. Seriously, I don’t want an NFL team logo topping my Christmas tree.

On NFL shop a set of 3 of these cost $12.95, which is overpriced. You can easily get a set of 5 for $6.99 at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but without the NFL logo. Actually you can get wooden hangers practically anywhere like pharmacies, hardware stores, as well as clothing and general living stores. So these aren’t worth it.

NFL promotions aside, this begs the question. I mean who in the hell would ever buy valve stem covers? Are they even necessary? Most cars probably don’t have all 4 and their tires are most likely doing just fine.

Seems like everything is bigger in Texas, even the fruit flies. Besides, fly swatters are kind of obsolete anyway. Better used by people who want to keep Tony Romo away from the chips and dip at a dinner party.

For just $7.49, you can clean your entire body with Chicago pride using this loofa with an embroidered, cartoonish bear that looks like he’s having a bit too much fun. Seriously, Bears fans, is cleaning your body with a cartoonish bear going to make you a better football fan? I don’t want to know.

From Sporting News: “There may be no greater reminder that the NFL will license anything than a board game that hasn’t been popular since the 1980s.” Besides, I’ve only heard about this game on M*A*S*H, and only as a reason why Major Winchester got kicked out of Tokyo General and transferred to the M*A*S*H 4077th. But still, does anyone play that game anymore? I doubt it.

Yes, this might be a fun to for WWII era children. But they’re all either senior citizens or dead by now. Would love to use this against Tom Brady.

From Sporting News: “This 100 percent cotton coat is perfect for any tailgate chef looking to take their game to the next level. Nobody would doubt your grilling skills if they see you flipping burgers in this 12-button, French-cut with a thermometer pocket on the sleeve. While you won’t doubt your culinary expertise, your friends may wonder why you attend tailgates dressed like Bobby Flay.”

Sorry, but branding your steak doesn’t make it taste better. In fact, branding your steak isn’t really necessary. And no, I don’t think such an implement will make even the most distinguished grillmeister a better fan.

Now I know the NFL sells a lot of golf stuff. But I think this golf cart is ridiculous. Seriously, I’m sure only rich golf fans could even buy this.

Sure an NFL team themed bra and underwear set might be quite weird if you get my drift. However, I take more an affront with the words, “I’ll be your half-time show” more than anything. Of course, can you expect the NFL to be nice to women? No.

Yeah, I’m sure want to support my team by wearing NFL licensed hair extensions. Sure it might look cool on some women but utterly ridiculous on others.

Now an NFL licensed baseball hat is one thing. But one with a sparkly logo and leopard prints? That’s just insane. Seriously, that’s the tackiest baseball hat I’ve ever seen.

It’s even shaped like a helmet for added emphasis, too. Besides, you don’t have to use it for soup. You can put all kinds of things in there like like candy, almonds, or even prescription drugs!

I chose the Dallas Cowboy in this case because my dad hates them more than any other team in the league. However, the New England Patriots aren’t far behind. Neither are the Baltimore Ravens or the Cleveland Browns.

From Bleacher Report: “You don’t need to be in a plane to enjoy this pilot helmet! Wear it to the grocery store, in bed, or even to work! Don’t worry if people are looking at you funny — they’re just jealous!” Actually unless you’re in a plane, wearing a fighter pilot helmet will make you look like an idiot.

Is branding your hotdogs really necessary? Seriously, as long as they’re grilled, who the hell would give a shit if they have your favorite team on them? Besides, I really don’t want to eat a hotdog that supports the Dallas Cowboys anyway.

Now I’d understand the Dallas Cowboys having these for obvious reasons. But there are NFL licensed cowboy boots for practically every single team. And I’m not sure if having cowboy boots is appropriate for the Miami Dolphins.

Now I can understand why you’d use a crock pot for tailgating (even though I’m not sure about how they’d get the electricity). However, what I don’t get is why anyone would need one with an NFL logo when just a normal one would do.

Okay, now it’s one thing to have a sexy woman on a T-shirt wearing a Tony Romo Jersey. But a tattooed Marilyn Monroe? Seriously, Dallas, how can you possibly think that Marilyn would ever support your team? I mean she was born in California and was married to a New York Yankee and a New York playwright. So I don’t think she’d be a Dallas Cowboys fan.

I may not get fantasy football or have any interest in it. But I really do like this trophy since I find it so amusingly appropriate. Yeah, the happy guy standing out of his armchair with his laptop is priceless.

Yeah, I really think that a little girl would want a tiara and wand with her favorite NFL football team. Seriously, even little girls know that Disney is a way better place for princess gear than the NFL.

Well, I have to admit at least the top is compatible with my bra size. Still, despite the lightning bolts on her outfit, she doesn’t come across as “electrifying” to me.

Well, at least it’s something blue. But still, a Denver Broncos garter? I really want to know why anyone would consider such item as appropriate for a wedding.

Now there are things that should and can be bedazzled. And there are things that shouldn’t be bedazzled. A football would generally fall into the latter.

Now these NFL tutus tend to be catered to young girls which is fine by me. However, they also sell these to women which makes them look like idiots.

Now I wonder how people can actually eat with those on or possibly do other things. Because I think I see the pom poms getting in the way.

Now I’m sure there are plenty who’d dream of having an NFL shower curtain. However, I’m positive that few actually do, especially if your team’s colors doesn’t go well with the room.

Of course, there are some people who might want their team logo on an easy chair. But this doesn’t mean they should be in a living room. More like someone’s entertainment center or man cave.

Yes, this is a plushie of the New York Giants quarterback as well as 2 time Super Bowl MVP. However, before Peyton should get this to taunt his brother, he should know that they have one of him, too. Oh, and they also have Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, Larry Fitzgerald, Ben Roethlisberger, Troy Polamalu, and Michael Vick.

Also, kind of funny how Cover Girl has a feature on NFL nail designs. As if I really give a shit about what my nails look like when watching a football game (not).

Has their own taps. For what, I really don’t want to find out. However, I think a getting a NFL themed fridge is kind of ridiculous if you get my drift.

Seriously, why show your love for your team by buying something that usually goes with the house? I mean the only reason why anyone would buy a new toilet is if suddenly bursts into a bunch of bits. I mean why?

Okay, NFL lingerie is one thing. But an NFL themed corset? Please. I mean most women don’t wear corsets anymore for God’s sake. Seriously, why?

I know that the NFL issues moccasins for every team. But a Washington Redskins themed moccasins is the kind that offends Native Americans. I mean for the love of God, Redskins, can you just change your freaking name?

On second thought, don’t because brown and orange are terrible colors for decor anyway. Besides, I think showing your love for your team with a pool table is a bit much.

Now I know people grill stuff for football games. But feeling that you need to buy NFL themed grill tools is just so absurd. A normal set of grill tools from Wal Mart would do just as good.

Now this is quite a clever contraption. However, I wonder how big it is and whether it would fit in a sedan trunk. Also, can be dragged by wheels.

Now NFL themed nail polish. Do you think women will find it necessary to paint their nails the team colors? I think not.

Probably wouldn’t want to look in there. Might contain stuff like spy cams, deflaters, and radio headsets with really bad reception.

With a lamp like this at your pool table, you can now really make your man cave look like a bar. Of course, it might even become one if you keep your alcohol there.

Now grill tools and meat branders are one thing. But a NFL themed grill? That’s insane. Seriously, why?

Will certainly cost a lot more than a regular NFL licensed baseball cap. So I wouldn’t consider it a worthy investment. It’s a waste.

Well, that seems like an interesting idea. Of course, it might not look as nice when the elements take over, especially the bird poop. Or the dog poop.

I have no idea why people would consider decorating their alcoholic beverage bottles. Such charms seem like useless decorations for me. Seriously, why?

In some ways, it looks like something only a really crazy fan may buy. But on the other hand, it looks somewhat ingenious. I can’t decide. But it’s probably not cheap so it’s not what I’d buy anyway.

And the cutting board is depicted like a football field. I wonder if this might carry some unfortunate implications like cutting the cheese at the 40 yard line.

Looking at this rubber duckie, I’m wondering why Ernie didn’t get a Jets or Giants one. Oh, wait, I’m sure Ernie isn’t much of a football fan.

Yes, they make them for all teams. However, Steely McBeam isn’t well loved by Steelers fans since he’s terrifying as hell. So let me say just kill it, kill it with fire.