Of course, having this bear in a straitjacket might make you think he’s just too crazy for you to handle. Then again, at least he’s better than people like abusers, rapists, stalkers, and the like and they don’t get put in a straitjacket. Still, very cute.

Sadly, Muhpawmad Ali was forcibly retired by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company after he converted to Islam and refused to be drafted to Vietnam. Oh, wait that’s a different boxer.

Yes, this bear was inspired by the movie Ted which is an R-rated comedy about a foul mouthed, irresponsible, and really cantankerous bear. Of course, a lot of young men loved it. Still, despite the crudeness, it did have a great song to it. And now there’s going to be a sequel.

As a die-hard Monty Python fan, I couldn’t let this British cop Teddy Bear slip by me for this post. Still, you have to love his little badge and Bobbie hats they still wear to day. Yet, in media, they always seem so polite.

Yes, this is a Teddy Bear of Elton John perhaps from his fame in the 1970s. Love his star sunglasses and shiny purple jacket. Now that’s simply adorable.

Yes, this is a Barack Obama Teddy Bear, and politics aside this is simply adorable and I’m astounded that this one didn’t require a lot of accessories. Sure I think Obama is doing a decent job as president despite the circumstances but that’s beside the point. Yet, will probably go a bit gray after a few years.

Of course, this Limited Teddy Bear set includes, Lady Mary, Lady Cora Countess of Grantham, Lord Robert Earl of Grantham, and the Dowager Countess Violet. Still, wish they some of the other characters though.

Of course, they do have Star Wars Build-a-Bear clothes and accessories on its website. And no, this isn’t an Ewok. Still, I have to put a Star Wars reference in the post somewhere.

Luckily for some people, this bear doesn’t sing. Yet, I’m sure any Sound of Music fan will love it if he or she can afford about $300 for it. Seriously, Steiff bears are very expensive.

Now I’m sure this is not an Abigail Adams bear because the Boyd’s Bear website says she’s from the Williamsburg Collection. Still, she’d make a lovely gift for an elementary school teacher trying to reach out to students on the American Revolution.

I originally thought that this was a Johnny Cash Teddy bear. Then again, if it was, then he’d be dressed in black. Also, has a female counterpart named Paisley.

Now I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be Audrey Hepburn or an original Boyd’s Bear character (probably the latter). Either way, she certainly looks cute in that outfit.

Of course, Mia may not be using her yoga mat, but she seems like doing a pose anyway. Perhaps she’s in the park. Yet, I’m not sure what that pose is supposed to be.

Now this is definitely a Boyd’s Bear take off on Julia Child. I mean she even as “Bon Appetite” in her apron. Yet, I wonder if Julia knows anything about French cuisine.

Of course, the fact that Tilly wears crocs while out in her vegetable patch really shows that she cares more about gardening than fashion of which she is no slave. Seriously, crocs are about one of the tackiest shoes anyone can wear.

Of course, we all know that real bears don’t need snow gear and usually hibernate in the winter anyway. Still, I do appreciate Boyd’s creativity with names as well as think Lizzie is simply adorable.

Unlike Skylar, I was never able to fly a kite as a child mostly because my house was near so many power lines in both the front lawn and the back yard. Doesn’t make a safe kite flying environment.

Sure Paddington may seem polite, love marmalade, and can be a screw up at times, but why the hell does he speak in an English accent if he’s actually from Peru? Seriously, shouldn’t he be speaking in Spanish for God’s sake?

Of course, with his adorable Teddy Bear form, macho sunglasses, Love tattoo, and his bad boy poise, he’s the kind of bear that’s hard to resist.

Of course, it’s a popular notion that good girls like bad boys. That is, until they come to the realization that they make terrible boyfriends and dump them. So perhaps having nice guys finish isn’t all that bad.

Sure ballet may seem like a girly dance but remember that it’s very exhausting for the dancers who don’t have a very long shelf life. Still, there are some celebrities who do ballet like some NFL football players.

Now I don’t know what consists of high fashion these days. However, I’m not sure if Coco’s fur hat and trim is necessarily “in” since it’s probably from an endangered species. Then again, PETA probably won’t be on her case since she’s a bear.

Before the Winnie the Pooh became a multibillion Disney franchise, it originated in a series of stories by A. A. Milne who basically named the animal characters after his son’s stuffed toys. Son’s name was Christopher Robin who hated the books for obvious reasons. Also, Pooh was also named after a real Canadian bear. Still, as Disney is concerned, Winnie the Pooh is a $6 billion bear.

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company calls this one, “Birthday Suit Bear” which is odd since I thought I’ve seen a lot of Teddy Bears in their birthday suits to begin with. Seriously, why is he climbing out of his own fur? Kind of disturbing if you ask me.

From what I’ve heard about the series (originally a Twilight fanfic), Christian Grey is supposed to be an abusive, controlling bastard.Thus, not cuddly at all, which makes this Teddy Bear all the more ironic. Even funnier is that he’s actually gray.

Of course, this gangster Teddy Bear always comes well dressed with his tailored pinstripe vest, tie, black fedora, a rose on his lapel, an his while spats above his paws. Still, for a killer, he’s a cutie.

Sure he may seem friendly now but when he’s on duty, you don’t want to disturb him. Seriously, he wouldn’t like it when you try to break his stiff upper lip.

I’m not sure if a Pope Francis Teddy Bear exists but he’s probably much cuter and cuddlier. Nevertheless, since former Pope Benedict XVI does have a few Teddy Bears of him, he’ll have to do.

Of course, this is a Teddy Bear of the Grinch inspired by the Dr. Seuss story How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Nevertheless, this bear is just adorable at least more than the Grinch himself.

Of course, this could be a Teddy Bear hunting rabbits in a pink rabbit disguise but that’s kind of far fetched. Still, it’s pretty adorable.

Of course, real Giant Pandas are an endangered species due to habitat loss and a low birthrate (pandas only mate once a year). Still, baby pandas born in zoos usually make the news at six.

Of course, this adorable Highlander Bear doesn’t come with bagpipes but I really don’t care since they’re annoying instruments anyway. Still, you have to love his little kilt and tam.

Of course, polar bears rely on the Arctic sea ice so much that they’re now an increasingly at risk for becoming a casualty of global warming (which is real and manmade by the way, sorry, climate denying assholes). Still, this is just so adorable you’d want to take it home and name it Nappy.

Though you might think this is cute and cuddly, remember that you don’t want to be anywhere near a real Grizzly Bear, especially in front of a mother and her cubs. Any guy who messes with a Mama Grizzly or her cubs is a dead man to say the least. Talk about an idiotic death.

Give your girlfriend the kind of gift that remind her that your love is the kind that was brought on by raging hormones, reckless decision making such as marrying a few days later, you killing your cousin after offing your best friend in a gang war between your families, you two running off together in a tomb, poisoning yourself while she faked your death, and she dying by her dagger. Yeah, that’s what I call true love. Yeah right. It’s just tragedy, simply reckless tragedy, folks.

Sure this may not be Elsa from Frozen, but it’s not like little girls will know the difference, at least at first. Still, in her icy domain, she’s just so adorable in that little blue dress and crown as well as her furry muff.

Of course, this Teddy bear might be for babies since it has cute little footie pajamas. Nevertheless, this is something any little kid could love and want to go to bed with.

Of course, this adorable Teddy Bear doesn’t look that bad in his little boxers. But I’m sure they help conceal his naughty bits if you know what I mean. Still, love how he seems so buffed up in them.

Of course, Cuddlebut only took up surfing just so he could get closer to all the exotic ocean fish at high tide. Unfortunately, he’d be chased to the shore by whales and sharks wanting to eat him.

I see a lot of wedding bears from the internet. Maybe it’s because weddings are popular occasions for giving these things. Nevertheless, they do make a cute couple don’t you think?

Of course, you know he’s a doctor since his little Furst Aid medical bag contains a bandage and a thermometer. Still, I kind of wish he had a little stethoscope with him but who am I to judge? Still, he’s adorable.

Of course, unlike most bears, Clawson caught his salmon with his fishing rod instead of just by his own claws near the waterfall. Thought it was just more efficient that way.

Of course, only a police Teddy Bear could be equipped with handcuffs and not seem to have anything ironic about it. Still, hope he doesn’t go after any innocent black bears (then again, in my area the only bears around are black bears).

Unsurprisingly, this Teddy Bear is by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company, where maple syrup is one of the state’s products. Still, wonder why the company doesn’t have a Teddy Bear representing all 50 states.

Of course, I know aviators today don’t wear that kind of gear as much as they used to. Still, I think this Teddy Bear is so adorable anyway. Yet, I’m not sure if I’d want to fly on his plane though.

Now this might be a perfect Teddy Bear for my sister, who’s an art major at VCU. Well, at least she started out as one. Nevertheless, you have to like seeing him with his little beret, paintbrush, and palette. Also, it seems like he’s got a few stains on his little apron.

Sure she may be a beary godmother but that doesn’t mean she won’t go after the mice and pumpkin before turning them into a coach and footmen. Still, this is simply adorable.

Now despite being a beary princess, you’d probably wouldn’t want to lock her in a tower. Seriously, bears don’t take it well. Nevertheless, I love that pretty pink dress.

Now I bet that this bear chef cooks with all natural ingredients instead of stuff he found at somebody’s camp site. Still, you have to love him in his little chef’s outfit.

Now I know railroad engineers don’t dress like that these days. Still, he wears his little red handkerchief quite well with his little overalls and cap.

However, unlike most BMX bears, he’s not wearing a helmet on top of his hoodie which isn’t a great idea. Still, he seems quite classy in his skull and crossbones shirt, cargo shorts, and sunglasses.

Not sure if this mama bear baked the pie herself or stole it from from someone’s picnic basket. Either way, she’s just so adorable in her red, white, and blue dress.

Of course, this mama to be bear may be quite friendly and mostly in hibernation at first. But when a bear becomes a mama, she certainly becomes a force to be reckoned with. Get between her and her babies, and she will tear you apart. Seriously, after the cubs are born, don’t ever piss her off!

Though penguins are cute animals, they actually live in the Southern Hemisphere and don’t coexist with Inuit or Arctic wildlife. Still, I love how that bear looks in its cute little parka.

Yes, this little handybear doesn’t fix stuff with a pencil or rule. He’s just handy with love and he’s no fool. He just fixes broken hearts because he knows he surely can. Fixing 24 hours a day.

Of course, you have to love how he does his little paw salute. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t want to be scrubbing the deck while wearing that outfit though.

Either that, or this teddy was just looking for love in all the wrong places, naturally. Still, hope he gets well or finds the right person.

Now I’m sure this bear thinks the goose is delicious (well, a wild bear would). Still, you have to love her adorable 18th century dress and cap.

Of course, if anyone found a bear trying to resuscitate them in the ambulance (or driving one), most would pass out from shock. This is where the defibrillator comes in handy.

Then again, this bear could be a nurse for you sometimes can’t really tell in the operating room. Then again, nurses usually wear scrubs in the hospital while doctors don on lab coats outside the OR.

Sure he may be a vampire with fangs, but he’s far more cuddly than Edward Cullen from the Twilight series and much cuter, too. Still, doesn’t seem pale by any means.

Of course, while he may be saving people and fighting fires on the outside, inside his heart is on fire and burning for love and cuddles.

Man, she wears a dress similar to what a lot my teachers did while I was at Mendon. Of course, she’s much more adorable than any of them there.

Now this cowpoke seems to be quite fancy for a rodeo or a shoot out. Still, he does look cute in his red shirt and blue jeans even if you don’t want a cow near him.

Of course, he may go try out his skies in the Rocky Mountains or at Seven Springs this year. Yet, he certainly looks so cute in his sunglasses and snow gear.

Of course, this Teddy Bear is probably the only one you can possibly trust with a hive. Seriously, real bears rip these places apart for the honey.

Of course, unlike the popular chubby winged baby images, Cupid in Classical mythology was a handsome young man barely out of his teens. Then again, I wonder if there’s a Teddy Bear of Pysche.

I don’t know about you but I think this is probably a very funny Teddy Bear creation from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Sure he’ll probably turn you into something mindless and undead, but he’s so irresistible to say the least.

She may be bossy but you have to love her beehive crown as well as black and yellow dress. I mean she’s so cute that she might as well be sweet as honey. Yet, she may sting.

Of course, this was a creation by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company in wake of the 2008 federal bailout to the jerks on Wall Street. I’m not sure that the money lent was ever paid back in full. Probably not.

Of course, Ted might’ve taught us that not all Teddy Bears are as sweet an wholesome as they’re created to be. Still, I think this is kind of funny.

Yes, this is a Teddy Bear of the Queen of Great Britain in her royal regalia. And yeas, the crown does seem to be bigger than her head. Still, she’s still so cute as a bear if you look at it.

Now this bear looks adorably badass in his black leather, sunglasses, and denim. However, he forgot to follow one important lesson in safety which is to wear a helmet.

“To bear, or not to bear, that is the question—
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Hives and Berries of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Claws against a Fleas of troubles,
And by opposing, end them? To die, to sleep—”

Of course, in the original Arthur Conan Doyle mysteries, Sherlock Holmes didn’t wear his tweed coat or his deerstalker cap he’s seen with in the Basil Rathbone movies. However, he did smoke a pipe as well as got on Watson’s nerves from time to time as an eccentric roommate on Baker Street.

No, the Spock Teddy Bear isn’t a dog. He just has his ears turned pointy like a dog’s because he’s a Vulcan (which you don’t want to see at Pon Pharr). Also, I wonder if Captain Kirk’s bear has a thing for alien green bear girls or just girls in general.

Sure they may be adorable but these cute little Teddy Bears are certainly not for kids. Nevertheless, they’re pretty funny in full gimp gear in all.

Yes, this swinging swashbuckler manages to outwit and disarm bad guys as well as steal your heart. Nevertheless, that outfit is simply adorable.

Sure he may be in his “Jailhouse Rock” phase. But after he gets married and joins the army, his days of Vegas as well as peanut butter and banana sandwiches won’t be far behind.

Of course, Santa and his wife are so iconic in stature that I couldn’t just leave them out of this post, even if Christmas is over. Nevertheless, the really do make an adorable couple.