Been successfully framed for a serious crime you didn’t commit? Have you been trying to prove your innocence to the authorities who just don’t listen to you? Does the real culprit have a conspiracy against you? Sick of the real culprit getting away with the crime while you have been sentenced to years in jail? Do you believe that the criminal justice system is unfair to you and that you could better spend your time breaking out of prison and trying to clear your name by catching the real guy?
Wrongful accusations happen all the time in our everyday lives. To be falsely accused of a serious crime is perhaps one of the most horrible things anyone can experience, especially if they know that the real culprit is so much richer and more influential than he or she is and the criminal justice system can be so unfair to those it should protect. Sometimes people are just wrongfully accused of such heinous acts just because they were in a close relationship with the victim, just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, have a shady history, social discrimination, or that you make a convenient fall guy in somebody else’s scheme. And while there are lawyers, they usually don’t tend to stick around once the falsely accused suspect is convicted and sent to prison. Thus, because the were so wronged by the criminal justice system, many can’t do anything else than try exonerating themselves by going on a personal mission to find the real culprits often committing a series of of other crimes in the process whether they be resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer, grand theft auto, breaking and entering, reckless endangerment, assault, and fraud. Sure these crimes are usually minor compared to what you’re unjustly being accused of but they can come back to bite you once law enforcement gets into play. And let’s just say that it would totally suck to be back in prison after all the hard work you’ve done to prove your innocence through any means necessary.
Here at Vandelay Wrongful Accusation Insurance, we understand that you were forced to commit those heinous acts since there were no legally accepted ways to prove your innocence as a fugitive from injustice. Here we strive to protect you from providing advice on how to cover your tracks as well as recommend a list of lawyers who’d be happy to defend you once you’ve exonerated yourself from the crime you’ve been accused of so you don’t have to face the legal consequences of your actions. Whether it be burglary, theft, kidnapping, torture, attempted murder, breaking and entering, hostage taking, property damage, resisting legal custody, hacking, forgery, blackmail, illegal border crossing, transporting firearms across state lines without a permit, unlawful use of a weapon, and giving the bad guy what he totally deserves, we’ll cover you as you pursue the son of a bitch responsible for ruining your life.
* Vandelay Wrongful Accusation Insurance may not be accepted in all situations in which someone is wrongfully accused of a crime and the said person may have to face the legal consequences anyway. Also, doesn’t cover crimes like murder of innocent bystanders or good guys, domestic abuse, terrorism, or sex crimes since these are very serious crimes themselves and won’t make any wrongfully accused person seem sympathetic in comparison. Vandelay Wrongful Accusation Insurance will only cover you until you’ve not only been exonerated from the original crime but also after you get off on the other crimes you’ve committed in your pursuit to clear your name.
Certainly there are many movie characters who could use this!