The Anatomy of a Medieval Castle: Part 2 – Towers and Gates

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England’s Windsor Castle was built after William the Conqueror’s invasion in the 11th century. Since then, it’s been a residence for the royal family to this day. Even if modern British monarchs just use this place for a weekend getaway. And yes, you’d almost mistake this gatehouse as the castle itself.

So we’re off to a great start. Some of the other distinguishing castle features are towers and the gates. When you look at any castle picture, you might come across an imposing entrance with the impressive gatehouse containing a drawbridge and that sliding iron wrought door of spikes. Yet, since an unsecure entrance made a castle uniquely vulnerable, the gateway was usually the first structure built in stone. A gatehouse contained a series of defenses to make a direct assault more difficult than battering down a simple gate. Yet, you’d probably wouldn’t know this in movies where vast armies storm the castle with no problem. In reality, trying to storm a castle head was a stupid way to lose an army. Another prominent castle feature are the towers, which were used for look outs and shooting arrows along with storage and imprisonment. They could be built in various locations like the walls and the gatehouse as well as come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Though early towers were mostly square shape which were said to be quite easy to topple through burrowing at the foundations. While round towers were not.

The Main Entrance

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The Welsh Harlech Castle was built by English King Edward I Longshanks in the 1280s. It was involved in several wars and was used as a residence and military headquarters by Welsh hero Owain Glyndwr in the early 1400s. Later, it was held by the Lancastrians during the 1460s until the Yorkist forces took it during the Wars of the Roses. And served as a Royalist stronghold during the English Civil War in the 1640s. Today it’s a UNESCO World Heritage site as one of “the finest examples of late 13th century and early 14th century military architecture in Europe.” Nonetheless, seeing this imposing gatehouse, you wouldn’t want to storm this castle.

Barbican- a stone outpost protecting the castle’s gate usually built in front of the main entrance. Construed in the form of a tower or gateway where guards could stand watch. Some may include a narrow passage allowing for a limited number of attackers forced into a confined area for defenders to shoot at them like fish in a barrel through murder holes from the ceiling. Early barbicans were built from earthworks and wooden palisades designed to add complexity to the entrance’s layout and confuse attackers. Usually acted as the outermost defense of a castle. Due to limited space, was only defended by a small number of men.

Breastwork- a heavy parapet slung between 2 gate towers. A defensive work usually situated over the portcullis.

Drawbridge- wooden bridge in front of the main gate to span the moat or ditch. In early castles, it was moved horizontally to the ground by hand or destroyed and replaced. In later castles, it was built so it can raise up in a hinged fashion thanks to pulleys, ropes, chains, and winches. Can be raised or withdrawn making crossing impossible and prevent siege weaponry being pushed toward the castle’s walls and gates.

Gatehouse- a complex of towers, bridges, and barriers built to protect the castle’s main entrance. Often had a guard house and living quarters. Usually consisted of 2 very large stone towers joined above the main gate guarded by a bridge, gates, portcullis, or a combination. But can range from a simple structure to a 2-3 story building with an impressive façade to impress royal visitors. Above the entrance were rooms to house the constable and some men to defend the building who were stationed on the first floor. While the top floor contained murder holes and storage space for weapons. Traditionally the most vulnerable part of the castle, it became one of the most secure and with an excellent defensive position. Contains a passage with all kinds of obstacles, traps, and murder holes in the vaulted ceilings. So perhaps you want to think twice before storming a castle. Usually the first part of the castle to be completed. Though a larger and circular wall castle could have more than one.

Murder Holes- holes left in the floor on a gatehouse’s upper level, used to thrust pole weapons down, or shoot down flaming arrows at attackers trapped between the inner and outer gates. Also used for dropping heavy rocks, hot tar, boiling water, and other nasty things.

Neck or Death Trap- a narrow walled passage between a barbican and the castle walls which trapped invading enemies.

Portcullis- a heavy, sliding metal or wood grate with sharp spikes that was vertically dropped just inside the castle’s main gate through ropes and pulleys. Designed to block passage and make using rams against the main gate less effective. Think about that before trying to break down a door with a battering ram. Can also be dropped on an enemy and injure multiple people. Was always in a state of readiness and the guards can drop it from its suspended position at any time. Some gatehouses could had more than one, depending on the castle’s size and number of entrances.

Turning Bridge- drawbridge pivoted in the middle and worked like a see-saw. Had a counterweight attached to the end near the gateway.

Wicket- a person-sized door set into the main gate door.

Wing-Wall- a motte’s wall downslope to protect stairway.

Yett- a portcullis of lattice wrought iron bars used for defensive purposes.

The Towers

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Originally built in the early 1100s, the Alcazar of Segovia started out as a fortress, but has served as a royal palace, a state prison, a Royal Artillery college, and a military academy. Today it’s a military archives building, museum, and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Yet, you have to admit how its towers give the place a unique look.

Bastion Tower- tower projecting from a wall face that functions as a bastion.

Bastle House- a small tower house with a living room over a cowshed.

Corner or Archer Tower- tower located on curtain wall corners used for firing arrows from slits.

Drum Tower- a large, round, low, squat tower built into a wall, usually connecting stretches of curtain wall.

Flanking or Mural Tower- tower located on the castle walls that provided effective flanking fire.

Gate Tower- tower constructed at the main entrance. May be part of the gate house.

Tower- fortification used to provide stability and additional defensive capabilities to the curtain wall. Used for firing upon enemies, lookout, storage, and keeping prisoners. Provided access to lookout points, wall walks, and sleeping points. Can be constructed in various shapes, sizes, and at various locations.

Sanitary Towers- a tower in the inner or outer walls used as a toilet. The wastes would drop into a cesspool in a pit.

Wall Tower- tower on wall that archers used for showering arrows on invading armies.

Watchtower or Look Out- a freestanding structure used to alert the castle in an enemy attack, spot returning soldiers and visitors in the distance, check whether the coast was clear before anyone left the castle, and send messages to distant people using recognized symbols. Had to be so high that areas around the castle could be watched for an impending attack or siege. Usually had a 360-degree view as well as employed a guard or watchman to see for many miles around.

Turrets

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Belgium’s 14th century Cleydael Castle seems straight out of a fairy tale on the water. However, the turrets on that one tower are quite unique.

Bartizan or Crow’s Nest- a small turret at the corner of a tower or wall. Usually at the top but not always. Usually located at one of the highest points of the castle and used as a lookout.

Belvedere- a raised turret or pavilion.

Squinch Arch- arched support for an angle turret that doesn’t reach the ground.

Turret- a small tower rising above and resting on the walls or the edge of the castle’s main towers, usually used as a lookout point. Allowed defenders to provide sheltering fire to the adjacent wall in attacks. Can contain a staircase if higher than the main tower or an extension of a tower room.

The Anatomy of a Medieval Castle: Part 1 – Around the Walls

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This is Bodiam Castle in Sussex, England. Built in 1385 to defend against French invasion during the Hundred Years War, it doesn’t have a keep. But its walls and moat are impressive.

Whether you’re into Disney movies, Middle Earth, or Game of Thrones, we all seem enchanted with medieval castles. However, while we imagine them as a fairy tale palace, they were medieval house fortresses for European nobility. Though you’ll also find castles in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. Castles originated in the 9th and 10th centuries as the fall of the Carolingian Empire resulted in individual lords and nobles dividing the territory. To control the area surrounding them, these guys built castles as both offensive and defensive structures. Castles provided a base to launch raids and protect from enemies. Though castle studies often emphasize their military origins and see castles as “a fortified private residence,” they also served as centers of administration and power. Urban castles were used to control the local populace and important travel routes. Rural features were often near features integral to life and community like mills, fertile land, or a water source. Though most medieval castles in Europe today are made from stone, many were made from wood, especially in the early Middle Ages. Due to lacking arrow slits and towers, early castles often exploited natural defenses and relied on a central keep. But as a scientific approach to castle defense emerged, leading to tower proliferation and emphasizing flanking fire. Taking inspiration from Roman forts and technology from the Crusades, you’ll find some concentric castles. Nevertheless, since all things much come to an end, castles began to decline began to decline with the introduction of gunpowder which made them uncomfortable and undesirable places to live. Though these structures still captured the imagination enough to make aristocrats want to build castle like houses, but without the key defenses.

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This is Herstmonceux Catstle in England’s East Sussex. Built in the 15th century, it’s one of the most significant brick buildings in England. Though more like a palace than a fortress, its walls and moat are nonetheless impressive. By the way, from 1957-1988, it was home to the Greenwich Royal Observatory. Today it’s used by the Bader International Center of Queen’s University in Canada.

The first part of this series will focus on the outermost components like the walls and what’s outside them. As the first line of defense, such structures would have to make invasions and sieges incredibly difficult for the enemy. Before a castle was built, you’d often construct an artificial hill called a motte and a ditch filled with water called a moat. A castle’s walls had to be high enough to make scaling with ladders impossible. And they had to be thick enough to withstand bombardment from siege engines. Though sizes vary, a typical castle wall could be 10 feet thick and 39 feet tall. They’d also have stone skirts around their bases to prevent infiltration as well. Walkways on top of curtain walls allowed defenders to rain arrows on the enemies below with battlements giving them further protection.

Outside the Walls

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The Chateau de Gisors in France whish was a key fortress for the Dukes of Normandy in the 11th and 12th centuries. It was built to defend the Anglo-Norman Vexin territory from the King of France. However, when Richard the Lionheart got imprisoned in Germany, the castle went into Philip Augustus’s hands. Was also known for its links to the Templars, serving as a final prison for its last Grand Master in 1314. Still, its motte is particularly notable.

Berm- a flat piece of land between the curtain wall and the moat protecting it. Intended to reduce soil erosion to keep the wall from collapsing. Also kept debris from the wall from falling into and filling the moat.

Bivalate- a pair of defensive ditches or earth embankments surrounding a mound or medieval castle.

Caponier- a covered passage within a ditch.

Caponiere- a covered passage across a ditch to an outer fortification structure like a ravelin.

Counterscarp- outer slope of a ditch.

Couvre Face- a low rampart in a ditch protecting the ravelin’s face.

Covered Way- a protected communication wall all around the ditch’s outer edge, covered by earthworks from enemy fire.

Crownwork- a freestanding fortification built in front of the main defenses.

Cunette- a trench at a ditch’s bottom.

Ditch or Fosse- a common defense dug around the castle’s outside walls and the resulting earth to create banks. Most were dry but some were filled with water to create moats. The steeper the ditch sides, the better since it made it more difficult for attackers to climb. Though ditches weren’t filled with water, rainfall would’ve created a muddy obstacle to cross. The castle’s toilets also emptied into it, giving attackers another disgusting problem.

Earthwork- fortification made of earth mounds, banks, and ditches.

Glacis- a bank sloping down from a castle which acts as a defense against invaders. Consists of broad, sloping, naked rock or earth on which the attackers are completely exposed.

Hornwork- an independent earthwork located in front but not connected to the curtain wall within its bastions’ range (so it can be defended by them). Had long parallel sides with a back shaped like a crescent moon facing the castle’s curtain wall. But was built so low so it couldn’t shelter attacking forces if overrun. Forced attackers to start their siege further away from the castle and gave defenders a better chance to destroy siege lines before they could reach the structure.

Moat- a deep, wide ditch surrounding a castle’s outer walls. Often filled with water from diverted rivers, lakes, or springs with a special dam. Mostly had an inlet and outlet of water rather than being a self-contained donut (unless the castle was built on an island in the middle of a lake). It was often around 3-30 feet deep and at least 12 feet wide. It was sometimes within the outer wall or between the outer wall and the inner wall. Its primary purpose wasn’t to stop attackers but siege weapons, siege towers, battering rams, and most importantly, tunnelers. Since tunneling a castle was an effective means of collapsing the walls or infiltrating it. A moat would cause any tunnel to collapse through flooding. Also, gave valuable time for castle defenders to form strategies for subsequent defense. Sewage was often tipped into the moat so it would smell pretty unpleasant.

Motte- a natural or artificial hill with a flat top upon which a castle was built. Was constructed from dirt and rocks to a height between 10 and 100 feet.
Neck Ditch- a ditch cutting across a neck of land to hinder an enemy’s advance.
Place of Arms- an enlarged area in a covered way where troops could assemble.
Ravelin or Demilune- a triangular earthwork located in front (but not connected to) the curtain wall, within range of the curtain wall’s bastions. The back was shaped like a crescent moon and faced the curtain wall. But built low so it couldn’t shelter attacking forces if the ravelin was overrun. The front sides also had a defensive wall of their own. Allowed defenders to fire upon attacking troops before they could reach the curtain and a better chance to destroy siege lines before they could reach the castle. Forced attackers to start their siege further away from the castle.

Revetment- a retaining wall to prevent erosion.

Scarp- a slope on a ditch’s inner side.

Tilting Yard- yard or field where jousting tournaments and combats took place. Usually situated just outside the castle’s confines.

Watergate- a gate allowing a coastal castle to be resupplied by sea, especially during a siege.

The Walls

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Scotland’s Craigmillar Castle is a ruined castle in Edingburgh built in the 14th century. Mary, Queen of Scots once stopped here to convalesce after her son James’s birth. It was here some of her supporters decided to kill her godawful husband Henry Stuart, Lord Darnley. Still, the walls are amazing to look at.

Allure or Wall Walk- walkway at the top inside of the curtain wall, which allowed guards to look for enemies. Reached either from a set of stairs running up from the wall’s inside or from a built-in tower. Can also be the fighting area on a tower as well.
Bastion or Bulwark- a structure projecting at the end of the curtain wall or at the junction of 2 walls. Usually situated at each corner of a curtain wall. Though could be placed in the middle if the walls were long. Allowed the defenders to cover dead ground (blind spots where attackers can’t be seen or fired upon) and provide crossfire for the curtain wall and adjacent bastions. Can consist of a tower or turret.

Batters- a section at a castle wall’s base that’s angled in such a way to make dropped stones bounce away from the curtain wall and into the enemy. Also add strength to the wall walk’s base.

Buttresses- a rectangular masonry projections used as additional outside strength and support for walls. Become thinner towards the top. Prominently featured in Gothic cathedrals like Notre Dame.

Chemin-de-Ronde- a walk-walk extending all the way around a castle.

Chemise Wall- wall formed by a series of interlinked or overlapping semicircular bastions.

Citadel- the innermost curtain wall of a concentric castle. Had walls higher than the rest and was the last line of defense before the keep itself.

Corbel- a stone bracket projecting from a wall or corner that supports a main floor or other structure’s weight. Often used for turrets.

Cornice- a decorative projection along the top of a wall.

Counterguard- a long near-triangular free-standing fortification within the moat.
Crenels, Embrasures, or Wheelers- small openings in crenellation that’s splayed on the inside, allowing the archer to move into the arrow slit space and get a better view.

Cross-Wall- an internal dividing stone wall in the keep providing extra strength and a platform for wooden floors. Also served as a barrier at times when the keep had been invaded.

Curtain Wall or Enceinte- a surrounding outer stone wall around the castle connecting the towers and other fortifications. Was designed to protect the castle. Can be 8-20 feet wide, up to 45 feet high and 1,500 feet long.

Flying Buttresses- masonry projections used to spread and support the weight of tall walls by transferring force directly to the ground. Were often elaborately designed, appearing to dart and sweep around each building, giving a sense of movement and flight. Usually decorated with intricate carvings giving a sense of grandeur and importance.

Garderobe- a room projecting from a wall that served as a toilet the family’s clothes. A hole in the floor allow wastes to drop below. Had chutes for discharge which often led to the castle moats and had iron bars to prevent entry from attackers.

Glacis- an angling of the curtain wall along the vertical plane that allows the wall to deflect some or all the force of rocks or other missiles thrown from a siege engine or cannon balls fired from siege cannons.

Hoardings or Brattices- wooden fortifications added to the crenellations and towers to provide additional protection to the castle’s defenders. They were removable and provided overhead cover. Also provided a walkway outside the crenellations facilitating the dropping of stones and hot liquids on attackers.

Hoarding Holes- holes in the castle walls to support the hoarding.

Inner Curtain Wall- defensive wall within a castle dividing the inner area into 2 or more defensive areas.

Lunette- a fortification shaped like a half-moon or arrowhead which was similar to a bastion except that it didn’t have wings connecting to a castle’s wall and the back was generally open. Can be its own structure or connected to a curtain wall like a bastion.
Machicolations- permanent stone additions to a castle’s battlement which provided better cover for defenders inside the castle, allowing them to drop items like boiling oil, hot lead, dead animals, human excrement, and rocks on attackers. Most often located in places that would be commonly attacked like near the main entrance.

Oriel Window- a window or set of windows sticking out from a building like bay windows. Made of stone or wood. Often had corbels underneath to support them.

Orillion- an arrowhead bastion.

Palisade- a sturdy wooden fence built to enclose a site until a permanent stone wall could be constructed. Can be as high as 10 feet tall.

Pitatta Forma- a fortification structure protecting the curtain wall between 2 bastions. It’s square or rectangular in plan but takes the form of a small tetrahedral bastion.

Plinth- a wall’s projecting base.

Postern or Sally Port- a small secondary gate located in the curtain wall’s back, which mostly functioned as a backdoor entrance or exit. Was connected to a small guard room near the bailey. Was often in a concealed location which allowed occupants to come and go inconspicuously. If possible, it could be built on a cliff, only accessible by footpath. During a siege a postern could act as a secret exit for troops to pass through besiegers or send out a messenger. Was firmly barricaded during conflict and people sometimes used a password to enter. Used by tradesmen and servants during peacetime. Designed for only one unmounted person could go through at a time.

Putlog Holes- castle wall holes to support scaffolding.

Rampart- a defensive wall of stone and mounds of earth that can be built quickly for early medieval castles. Later replaced by battlements.

Rear Arch- arch on an inner wall’s side.

Relieving Arch- an arch built in a wall to relieve thrust on another opening.

Respond- a half-pier bonded into a wall to carry an arch.

Redan- a small ravelin, derived from the lunette but had shorter sides. Was often made of earthwork but could comprise of stone and other materials. Could be its own structure or connected to a curtain wall like a bastion.

Rubble Core- a filling between the outer and inner wall parts.

Shield Wall- an exceptionally thick wall protecting the castle on its most vulnerable side.
Talus- a slope on the curtain wall that inhibited an attacker’s ability to reach the wall with a siege tower. Since a tower’s ramp wasn’t enough. Also provided a strong foundation to help support a wall against undermining.

Battlements

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England’s Warwick Castle was developed from an original built by William the Conqueror during the 12th century. During the Hundred Years War, it was refortified which resulted in one of the most recognizable examples of 14th century military architecture. After its stronghold days were over in the 17th century, it was converted in a country house. And yes, you’ll find a lot of cool battlements here.

Arrow Loops, Arrow Slits, or Loopholes- thin slots in the walls and structures used to shoot arrows through. Came in a variety of shapes and sizes, usually depending on the weapons fired from it. Low and narrow arrow slits were suited for crossbows. High and wide arrow slits were built for longbows, which can be as high as 9 feet. But common designs are key holes, vertical slits, or crosses which allow the archer to fire his weapon with a great amount of protection.

Battlement, Rampart, or Crenellation- a defensive, outside top wall that has a broad top with a walkway and a typically stone parapet. Notched wall consists of alternate crenels (openings) and merlons (square sawteeth) to give castle defenders a position to fight or fire through as well enough protection to reload.

Fausse Braie- an exterior battlement, outside and parallel to the main battlement and considerably below its level.

Finial- a slender piece of stone used to decorate the merlon tops.

Merlons- upward square sawteeth of a battlement. Often pierced with arrow slits for observation and fire. Are usually rectangular in medieval Europe but can also appear in a swallow-tail form along with other shapes. Also have a secondary decorative purpose by giving the castle a distinct castle like appearance you find in storybooks.

Oilette- a round opening at a loophole’s base to help archers to easily aim a shot.

Parados- a low wall on a main wall’s inner side.

Parapet- a barrier at the edge of a roof, terrace, walkway, or other structure. Often used to defend a castle from military attack as a low defensive wall at shoulder or head height.

The Pastel World of Easter Village Houses (Second Edition)

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Though Christmas and Halloween may be far more popular holidays, Easter has its large share of fans. So it’s no surprise that we have plenty of Easter village houses. After all, if you’re a company that sells these houses and accessories, why stop at Christmas when you can sell similarly themed items all year long? Sure these village sets can be very expensive. But they’re popular enough for me to do multiple posts on them. With Easter, you find plenty of houses in pastel colors as well as bunnies, chicks, flowers, butterflies, and sheep. And yes, there’s plenty of cuteness to go around. Though many of these houses may be made out of porcelain, some of these Easter village enthusiasts opt for the putz variety. Sometimes, they make their own putz house which you might see on Etsy. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of charming Easter houses and villages. Enjoy.

  1. An Easter putz village should always be all glitter.

Make sure you include bunnies and chicks. Oh, and that the trees have Easter eggs on them.

2. Bunnies always enjoy an Easter egg tree.

Though this more or less resembles a Charlie Brown Tree with Easter eggs. Yet, the house is quite whimsical.

3. Don’t forget to put a bunny peep on the front door.

The bunny peep even has a purple butterfly. The windows are made out of cardboard.

4. Of course, some houses might contain an addition or two.

This one even has an Easter egg tree. And the front roof has stripes.

5. How about set your spring village near a window?

Wonder if they use the same window for a Christmas village. Since it seems familiar to me.

6. A pink should always have matching flowers.

This one also has a fancy roof and tree with purple baubles. Like the silver trim.

7. A chick should always have a pink balcony.

This one has a rather gabled roof and pink stairway. Like the chick and trees.

8. You can put anything on an Easter tree.

Not sure if it’s a DIY or professionally made. But you have to love the collage of decor.

9. Even a pale blue house can have a spring renovation.

This one has bunnies in front of the house with trees. But the pink rose on the roof really stands out.

10. Two chimneys are sometimes better than one.

Helps that it’s pink. Has some berries between the roof and front door.

11. Perhaps a pale pink house can suit your Easter fancy.

It has the bunnies with eggs. Though the window edging appears to resemble seashells.

12. Bunnies and chicks delight in an Easter tree.

This one has a craft tree with pom pom chicks on it. Love the bunny in the basket.

13. Spring birdhouses could use a few flowers.

Well, one of them is supposed to be a church. Yet, both have birds at the high holes.

14. A pink roof can always use a splash of glitter.

This yellow house has blue doors and window trim. Hope the bunny doesn’t mind looking at it.

15. A small blue church makes a lovely Easter addition.

This one has a lamb in front. But you have to admire the tall steeple.

16. A white Easter house can be just as nice.

Has a string of pearls aligning the roof. The trees are decked with Easter eggs.

17. These bunnies love their flowery home.

You’d wonder if whoever made this used wall paper. Yet, certainly has a spring feel.

18. An Easter village looks lovely in the night sky.

Okay, the sky is a board with lights on it. Nonetheless, it’s quite quaint and stunning.

19. A shiny blue church should have a purple steeple.

Has a cross on top and over the doorway. A small chick is near the glitter wall.

20. Birdhouses always shine in glitter.

Well, you put birdseed in these. Yet, one of them looks more like a bird gazebo.

21. Perhaps a quaint white cottage will do.

This one seems straight out of a storybook. And home to a cute little rabbit, too.

22. A paper house should have a certain whimsy.

The house is yellow with lattice work. And it’s topped with a light blue roof.

23. Nothing brings in an Eastery spring like a yellow church.

Has pink trees at the front with a rabbit. Like the wreath near the roof though.

24. An Easter village can always shine under the sky.

This one has a blue sky with cotton ball clouds. And the towering trees are spectacular.

25. Everyone has to love a green house with polka dots.

This one has a blue roof with flowers. Even has a girl emerging from the doorway.

26. Speaking of green houses, check out this one with moss.

This one has white shutters and green and pink Easter eggs. Like the bunny.

27. A blue church should have a couple of pink trees.

This one has a green roof with fancy edging. Though the best part of this are the windows.

28. A sea green house always needs a pink butterfly.

Not sure if I care for the pill green shade. But it makes the decor stand out.

29. Don’t forget to add a chimney.

Okay, the color isn’t the most flattering. But at least it doesn’t remind me of Prozac.

30. A lavender church has a certain Easter charm.

Has a tree with yellow flowers beside it. Great for any spring village.

31. A blue church is wondrous with a silver roof.

Has a purple steeple and a silver cross on top. And yes, it’s covered in glittery splendor.

32. An Easter house can never have too many flowers.

Yes, the flowers are fake. But at least the smoke coming from the chimney is cotton.

33. A bright blue house will bring the Easter spirit.

This one has 2 chimneys and tall windows. Love the wreath and trees though.

34. Bet this is supposed to be a candy factory.

And it’s on a jar of jelly beans, too. Has 3 different colored smokestacks with stripes.

35. An Easter house can be of all kinds of colors.

This one has pink edging with pastels on the walls. If the colors were brighter, it would’ve been an eyesore.

36. Perhaps you might like a white church with flowers.

This one seems to have retro feel to it. Not sure what the angel is here though.

37. Is that carrot supposed to be a chimney?

Well, it sure looks like it. Though I’m not sure whether it goes with the pink house or trees.

38. Even an unconventional Easter house can be like a home.

Has a ridged roof with a butterfly. Yet, the bunny is happy just the same.

39. A pale yellow house can always glimmer.

Okay, I’m not too crazy about this house since it’s color is sloppy. But I do like the tree with purple flowers.

40. Anyone would be pleased to have a white bunny at their chimney.

If it weren’t for the Easter bunny and eggs, you’d almost think it’s a Christmas house. So cute.

41. A small green house is all this bunny needs.

This one even has a little door and an egg tree. Another tree has buttons.

42. Pastel houses always show an Easter spirit.

Well, the colors may seem somewhat faded. But some of these houses retain some Easter charm.

43. A green birdhouse makes a lovely church.

This one has a cross on top with a wreath. And there’s an angel coming out from the doors.

44. A pink house can never have too many flowers.

This one has flowers on the roof and ground. Not sure what to think about the windows though.

45. An Easter house should look as sweet as candy.

This one is in bright blue with peppermints near the roof. Like the door and window decorations though.

46. A pink peppermint house always brings spring in.

Doesn’t have as many candy decorations, but the bunny is adorable. Love it.

47. How about a house brimming with flowers?

Well, this one seems covered in vines. Everything seems to grow wild here.

48. Perhaps a small pink house will do well for the chicks.

This one has a silver roof and a pink flower. But the chicks appear to love it.

49. You may prefer a small blue cottage.

Sure it may not seem like much. But you have to like the bunny and Easter egg in the front.

50. Chicks would certainly dig this white Easter house.

Though I think they’re busier with a shoe at the moment. Still, this is rather quaint.

51. An Easter house like this is bound to make anyone happy.

Well, it says “happy” on the roof. Wonder if it’s part of a set. Like the bunny with a carrot.

52. Easter can’t be Easter without spring flowers.

This one has a girl in a flower dress. There are even flowers above the windows and in a basket.

53. A light blue house always endears chicks.

This one has some vibrant Easter decorations like what’s between the windows. And yes, there are the chicks in a shoe.

54. A silver bunny loves a house with pink flowers.

Let’s hope that’s not a real chocolate bunny. Because that would be a waste of valuable candy.

55. Nothing shows the Easter charm like a pink house.

It even says “Easter” above the door. Though I love the flowers and bow.

56. Flower boxes always give a nice springtime touch.

Each of these is outside the window and filled with flowers in their spring glory. Love it.

57. A purple and blue Easter house can have a whimsical touch.

This one has a rather unique design. But you have to love the flowers and bunnies. So pretty.

58. A purple house has spring in the air.

Even comes iwth a purple tree. Love the chick within the purple fence.

59. Spring is always quaint with a simple blue cottage.

Comes with a little red wagon with a flower wreath. Includes flowers, a bunny, and a basket of eggs.

60. Bunnies and chicks frolic at this purple house.

This one has images of chicks and bunnies taken from cards. Even has flowers between the windows.

61. You can make your garden grown in the early spring time.

The tree has all kinds of white berries. Includes a flower box, too.

62. A slant roof house can have Easterly flair.

Has “Happy Easter” on the roof. And it’s decked with purple bows and a string of purple pearls.

63. A blue house should come with a matching butterfly.

Its roof has blue and yellow trim on the roof. Yet, you got to love the flowers, bunnies, and tree.

64. Green flowers stand out on a yellow house.

This one has green flowers on the roof and the fence. Also comes with chicks.

65. A yellow and green house should come with purple flowers.

This one seems like you’d see in a storybook illustration. Yet, the flowers add a certain spring charm.

66. A purple house ought to have golden window trim.

This one has bunnies and a basket of eggs. Love the wreath and trees.

67. An Easter house needs to have flowers outside the windows.

This one is blue with a yellow roof and front door. Includes bunnies, chicks, and an Easter egg tree.

68. A porcelain shop should shimmer in glitter.

These are painted, by the way. One is a flower shop while the other is a café.

69. A gnome should feel cozy in this Easter trailer.

This one has flowers and a butterfly on top. Love the white tree branch.

70. A blue Easter cottage should brighten any spring day.

This one has a lovely ribbon above the windows. And there’s a little girl near the door.

71. A purple bunny will adore a purple house.

Comes with purple roses on the roof and near the Easter eggs. So pretty.

72. An Easter angel always loves a house of blue and pink.

The angel is even holding a tray of Easter eggs. Also has plenty of flowers just below the roof.

73. Chicks love an Easter house filled with flowers.

This one has daisy above the windows. Though you have to love the chicks in the flower wagon.

74. Sometimes a blue house has a quality spring simplicity.

This one has a blue butterfly and tree. Also contains white bunnies and bows.

75. An Easter egg tree should have its own stand.

This is a purple tree with pastel Easter eggs. And it’s all topped with a golden bow.

76. Bunnies always love to go to a country church.

This one is white with a blue roof. And its front is brimming with flowers.

77. Perhaps bunnies might prefer a simple cottage.

This is a plainer Easter house than most on this post. Has moss on the roof and grass on the ground.

78. A purple house should come with a green roof and flowers.

The flowers are even in boxes. Love the basket and bunny. So lovely.

79. A pink church should always come with pink flowers.

The roof is of golden paint. Comes with pink bunnies and a basket of Easter eggs.

80. A curved roof has a special spring whimsy to it.

Well, it has curved roofs on 2 stories. Yet, it’s decorated with spring flowers.

81. A blue house can make the springtime oh so pleasant.

Has flowers outside the window in boxes and outside the fence. Like the wreath and basket.

82. A pink Easter house has a unique simplicity.

Just has some white and a pink fence. The white tree particularly stands out.

83. Sometimes two roof points are better than one.

This is a pink house with green bows. Love the white deer and flowers.

84. Spring into Easter with this purple glitter house.

Well, it has “Easter” on the yellow roof. Comes with purple flowers and bunnies galore.

85. A yellow curved house always needs spring flowers.

This one has trees with eggs. Like how the flowers are around the base, roof, and chimney.

86. You’d almost think this house was an Easter neighborhood.

Each roof point has flowers on top. But only comes with one door in the middle.

87. A spring house should brim with spring flowers.

This pink house has flowers all over from base to roof. But I like the ones above the windows the best.

88. A pink house brings everything in its spring glory.

Has flowers in the windows along with a basket of eggs. And the chimneys make it especially imposing.

89. A blue house can stun with a purple roof.

This one has a flowers growing from the garden and on a wreath. So pretty.

90. Care for a plaid roof church?

Well, a plaid roof doesn’t look too bad. Also comes with an Easter egg tree.

91. If you love green, this idyllic putz house is for you.

This one even has deer to herald the coming of spring. So lovely.

92. A pink house should be atop of a pink nest.

Even has colorful streamers coming out of the chimney. Quite festive if you ask me.

93. Perhaps you might want to go with a green house with a striped roof.

Okay, that’s pretty tacky. And the striped pattern even lines the chimney. Yikes.

94. A small blue house can bring out small yellow flowers.

Comes with an array of bottle cleaner trees. Includes a girl in a raincoat.

95. It’s always spring when you’re near this yellow house.

Comes with a bejeweled butterfly on the roof. Yet, the chick and pink teddy bear are adorable.

96. A bright blue house always inspires a springtime splendor.

Includes a striped flower and pink butterfly. And you’ll find a girl near the door.

97. Of course, you can always go with a simple white house.

This one has a pink bike against the wall. Yet, I love the flower on top.

98. A small cottage should always stand out with some flowers.

Has a blue and yellow flower on the pink roof. But the bunnies seem to enjoy it.

99. A blue house stands out on Easter with pink decorations.

Has a pink butterfly and bows along with blue flowers. on the ground there are white rabbits and trees.

100. A chick would love to live in this pink coop.

Though the chick seems a bit large for the hole. Though I think it’s quite creative.

Fun with Easter Bonnets (Fourth Edition)

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One of the key traditions of Easter is the Easter bonnet. Though originally worn by ladies for Easter church services in less casual times, it has somewhat fallen out of fashion in that regard. Yet, Easter bonnets have always been nonetheless elaborate since the holiday marks the end of Lent. However, in places like New York, thanks to Easter parades, Easter bonnets have risen to a whole new level. No longer are they seen as what women wear to church anymore. Or even women in general. But the kind of wacky hat to wear for a Easter parade. Some of these hats may seem straight out of a Las Vegas showgirl routine. Some may be DIY. Some may have flowers, eggs, chicks, sheep, and other Easter motifs. Some may not. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of extravagant Easter bonnets.

  1. Some girls go for a beehive while some prefer butterflies.

Then a again the woman’s hat may be meant to imitate straw. Yet, the butterflies are pretty.

2. You’d almost think she got her hat from outer space.

This an old photo of a woman wearing a hat that would rival Lady Gaga. I don’t know if any explanation is necessary.

3. You can always line your straw bunny hat with chocolate.

Though I’d say it’s a waste of chocolate. Love the flower and fuzzy bunny ears.

4. Sometimes Easter can take a prehistoric turn.

The triceratops even has fancy eggs. I guess this is meant for a boy who’s a big fan of Jurassic Park.

5. Care for a bunny on your bonnet?

This plush bunny even has its own bonnet. Yes, it’s kind of confusing. But it’s adorable.

6. Someone must be on the springy side of the Force.

Has pipe cleaners with squiggles attached to eggs. Got to like Darth Vader and a clone soldier.

7. A broad hat can leave plenty of space.

Her had includes eggs, flowers, and a basket. It even says, “Happy Easter.”

8. There are many ways to accessorize a top hat.

This one has so many Easter stuff on it that it makes Willy Wonka jealous. And all topped off with an Easter egg shell.

9. Guess you can’t get out of doing laundry all the time.

She’s wearing a clothesline and washboard. Not sure if the clothes fit her. But it’s clever.

10. This little bird flies out of its cage to freedom.

Sure it might look outrageous. But for an Easter bonnet, it’s modest.

11. An Easter bonnet can never have enough pink.

It has a nest on top and eggs and bunnies around the brim. But I love the purple butterfly the best.

12. An Easter bonnet can never have enough eggs, chicks, or feathers.

The feathers are in all kinds of colors. The eggs are sparkle. But the chicks are all yellow pom poms.

13. Wonder why the bunny’s diving in this bonnet.

Well, I guess there are some carrots in the bin. Love the creativity behind this.

14. My, that’s a large ice cream cone.

Yes, she has an giant ice cream cone on her head. But at least it has chocolate bits on the top.

15. A lamb relishes among the flowers.

This has a plush lamb on top of a hat enclosed with a fence. And yes, it’s adorable.

16. Nobody could resist this chick tower.

And to believe it, it has pom pom chicks on it. Though I like the pink decomesh ribbon trim.

17. I guess film noir gals have their own Easter bonnets.

This one has lips with a cigarette. Like you see on femme fatales in film noir movies from the 1950s.

18. It won’t be Easter without some purple Easter grass.

Has plenty of bunnies and chickies to your heart’s content. Also includes some daisies on the brim.

19. A spring windmill can always shine at an Easter parade.

It’s in pink, purple, and yellow brick. Still, I love the bunnies and flowers.

20. A sheep hat can be so fluffy.

Kind of reminds me of Shaun the Sheep. And it’s most likely made by a child.

21. An Easter bonnet should always have a pair of bunny ears.

She’s even dressed as a bunny and holding one in her hand. How much Eastery can you get?

22. This Easter bonnet seems to reach to new heights.

Well, it has a plush chick and bunny on top. Great for an Easter parade or the bunny trail.

23. An Easter bonnet can never have enough pom poms.

You have a couple of bunnies with chickies along the brim. And I guess the pom poms around the border are Easter eggs.

24. Sometimes a simple Easter bonnet will do.

Not sure what the concept behind this bonnet is about. Yet, I couldn’t resist leaving it out of this post.

25. Don’t forget to add a birdhouse.

Yes, this was made by a child. Yet, you have to like the felt flowers and chick decorations.

26. Perhaps a yellow bird at the top will impress.

This seems more for adults as I can see. Like the yellow butterflies.

27. No Easter bonnet can ever have enough flowers.

And I see Audrey Hepburn has put an entire bouquet on her head. Yet, at least she tastefully ties her hat with a bow.

28. Even boys can proudly don their Easter bonnets.

Doesn’t hurt if it includes flowers, eggs, and ladybugs. Some of which are held by clothes pins.

29. You’d almost think this is an Easter basket.

It’s a straw hat made with flowers and Easter eggs. Not sure if you could wear it though.

30. Perhaps a more naturalistic Easter bonnet may suit you.

I guess this is of the Cast Away variety. Yeah, I don’t think he can go through town without people making faces at him.

31. Someone must have sunflowers in their eyes.

Luckily, it’s so sunny that he needs a parasol. His straw hat is also covered in flowers.

32. She seems like a small basket case.

At first I thought this might be a watering can. Then I zoomed in.

33. You never know what you can do with a large straw hat.

One hat has plenty of white flowers. The other has small Easter eggs hanging from it.

34. Daffodils are usually an iconic sign for spring.

All the flowers are on top and tied together. And yellow eggs line the brim.

35. For flowers, all you need is tissue paper.

All these guys proudly show their pastel flowers. And they’re similarly dressed to match.

36. Make sure the nest has a raft of twigs.

Though make sure to touch it up with some flowers. Yet, I wonder how this woman sees through this thing.

37. Sheep always enjoy frolicking in the pasture.

These little sheep love being on the top grass. And they’re surrounded by tulips and daisies.

38. Chicks always love a fine straw nest.

You can see a chick emerging from a newly hatched egg. But there’s a large chick sitting on a couple. Not sure why.

39. A yellow Easter bonnet is great for any big game.

Seems like this is for Angry Birds. Though there’s a soccer ball on each side.

40. Bunnies enjoys camping out in the forest.

The brim has eggs around it. The top has bunnies at a camp fire near a tent and under a tree.

41. You’d swear everything here is in one basket.

This one has Easter eggs and flowers in a basket with a bunny. Got to love this one.

42. Perhaps a simple straw hat with bunny ears will suit your fancy.

These seem simple enough to make. The ears are made of felt. And each have a matching ribbon and flower.

43. Any young boy would love a straw Angry Birds hat for the Easter parade.

Well, Angry Birds seem like a common theme in Easter bonnets for boys. Its brim is made from black feathers.

44. Sometimes a few flowers will do the trick.

This one just uses a red hat with a few pink flowers. Simple but effective.

45. You’ll find this pink nest all covered with chicks.

The chicks are all made out of pom poms. Love how some of them come out of the eggs.

46. Rabbits are always happy enclosed in a fence.

This one has a plush bunny among a garden of flowers and dragon flies. So cute.

47. My, that must be a large chick.

Well, this one has a plush chick on a straw hat. It’s surrounded by eggs.

48. You have to love a pink chick that’s just hatched.

It’s just hatched from the nest. But it’s already shedding feathers.

49. A flower hat should have a few dragonflies.

This one flowers made out of tissue flowers. Yet, the glittery dragons sure are colorful.

50. Egg cartons can be great for an Easter bonnet.

Guess these are supposed to resemble rainbow roses. Easy to make and not too difficult to wear.

51. A green bonnet can always use a few flowers.

This one has flowers among the deco mesh foliage. And it’s held in place by a pink ribbon.

52. Nothing welcomes spring like a pink hydrangea.

And this girl seems to like her hydrangea hat quite nicely. Lovely.

53. This hive Easter bonnet has everyone buzzing.

Yes, this was made by a kid. But you have to admire the creativity with the beehive. So cute.

54. Even a dog can don an Easter bonnet.

This purple hat even has bunny ears. Still, not sure what the dog thinks here.

55. You’ll always look sharp in a polka dot top hat.

The brim is trimmed with pink. Includes flowers and a pink butterfly.

56. With this pirate ship, it’s chicks ahoy.

Well, it’s a ship with pirate chicks. And yes, there’s a skull and cross bones.

57. You’ll find plenty of golden eggs on this hat.

This one is brown with a nest. Yet, remember that these eggs are spray painted styrofoam. Sorry, fortune hunters.

58. On Easter, bunny ears are for the whole family.

These bonnets are quite elaborate nonetheless. Some even have Easter eggs hanging on them.

59. Don’t forget to put peonies on your Easter bonnet.

This is a vintage picture. Yet, the flowers have tulle underneath.

60. Even old time gentlemen wear their Easter bonnets.

Kind of like how these guys seem rather matter of fact about it. After a man’s Easter hat must be fancy.

61. How about a bunny in a basket?

Yes, they had wacky Easter bonnets back in the day, too. Though I’m not sure if a black and white picture does it any justice.

62. Of course, you can add some green tulle.

This one has bunnies on the grass with butterflies. So adorable if you ask me.

63. A purple Easter bonnet can have all the trimmings.

This one has plenty of bunnies and flowers. And yes, you can see at least one bunny ear on top.

64. An Angry Birds hat should include more feathers.

This one is a cowboy hat meant to resemble an Angry Bird. Like in the famous mobile game.

65. You’ll find a chick among the flowers.

This one has a chick on top with eggs on the brim. And yes, the chick is a plushie.

66. In New York City, you better attend a parade with a large hat of flowers.

This one has a wide pink brim. Yet, you’d almost mistake this hat for a garden.

67. Seems like these angry birds have too many pigs in their nests.

This one has Easter eggs painted like Angry Birds. Most of them consist of pigs though.

68. Even the cats get into the Easter fun.

Well, cat owners anyway. Not sure if this cat is enjoying itself.

69. You’ll find plenty of chicks on this minion hat.

This is a straw hat with a minion on it. If you love Despicable Me, this is for you.

70. An Easter bonnet can never have enough eggs.

Well, the Easter eggs are all on sticks. And they’re all in basket atop the bunny hat.

71. You’d almost think this hat came from the ground.

This one has flowers and grass. And here is a bunny just lounging around.

72. A canine Easter bonnet should always have flowers.

Sure it doesn’t look out of the ordinary. But the fact it’s for a bulldog is hilarious.

73. This hat has all the eggs on the top.

Helps that it’s on a pink basket. There are even some chickies among them.

74. Perhaps you may prefer a hat from a large glass.

Yet, her hand on it means she has to keep it steady. Though it does have flowers on top.

75. She finds herself in a cage with flowers.

Well, at least she’s taking the bird cage quite well. Still, the flowers are stunning.

76. Is that a live rabbit in that cage?

Sure looks like it. Yet, whether this boy enjoys carrying it on his head is another matter.

77. A large straw hat must have an air of spring.

This one has plenty of flowers and butterflies. And this girl delights wearing it.

78. How about a sequined top hat for the Easter parade?

This one has a tulle bottom and is worn like a headband. Yet, you can always do worse.

79. It helps if the egg and chicken shine in foil.

Most of what you see on this hat is wrapped in vibrant colors. Let’s hope there’s no chocolate on it.

80. Seems like someone’s a fan of Dwight D. Eisenhower.

Hey, it was the 1950s. When the US had a president who was popular and wouldn’t threaten to nuke North Korea over a slight insult. Good times.

Easter Greetings from the Days of Yesteryear (Fourth Edition)

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During the Easter season, you might see a lot of these Easter greeting cards. Many of them depict beautiful imagery like you see above. Some of them might have cute bunnies and chicks. Some may have colored eggs and Easter baskets. Yet, while sending Easter greeting cards isn’t very common nowadays, people would send these back in the day. But while some of these may evoke warm feelings of nostalgia, some might make you scratch your head in confusion. Or inspire laughter. Since I started doing posts on vintage Easter cards, I’ve found plenty, especially if they pertain to anthropomorphic critters like rabbits and chicks. This time is no different. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasury of crazy vintage Easter cards that time forgot.

  1. Sergeant Bunny’s selling some eggs and chicks.

Here he has some eggs in bags and nets and chicks in a cage. Whew, selling this stuff must be a lot of work.

2. Gather round to hear some homeless bunny street musicians.

Heard they’re a folk music band called Benny Long Ears and the Hare Hutch. And they’re basically playing for carrots.

3. Easter greetings from the egg shell hot air balloon.

While it may look cute, you have to wonder about the laws of physics in this one. Because I’m not sure if an eggshell has any wind resistance.

4. Sometimes you have to lounge around in a giant eggshell.

Because walking your rabbits is always exhausting. Oh, that’s supposed to be a wagon?

5. Hope you can make yourselves at home at a giant egg house.

Apparently, they come from a world with two kinds of rabbits. Ones that wear clothes and walk on hind legs. And ones that don’t. Also, the chicken couple doesn’t seem to mind that the a sentient rabbit is hoarding eggs.

6. Nothing says Easter like a naked child on top a lamb.

However, the sheep doesn’t seem thrilled with the kid riding on it and incessantly ringing the bell. Yes, that can be annoying.

7. Easter greetings from the chick hikers.

However, Jerry wasn’t pleased with Stanley’s habit of singing and playing accordion music. If Stan didn’t stop, Jerry swore to God he’d whack him with his cane.

8. “Who ordered the Easter eggs?”

While the Easter Bunny fills Easter baskets once a year, he mostly works as a waiter. And he mostly gets by on tips.

9. Be careful holding Easter eggs on your dress.

Because the mama and daddy chicks are out for blood. Wait, chicks have chicks? This is messed up.

10. “So, kids, you want your eggs wrapped?”

And there you see the chicks looking by as the rabbit vender sells their fellow brethren to children. And they can’t do anything about it.

11. Children always delight seeing bunny egg races.

Funny, how the bunny’s driving two other bunnies to run the chariot. Not sure how that works.

12. Since Easter opens spring, love is in the air.

Though I’m not sure if this boy knows anything about consent. Because I don’t think the girl asked for it. Boy, sexual misconduct starts young.

13. Someone seems reluctant to get out of her shell.

Though she appears annoyed, it’s her doll that terrifies me. Yeah, that thing freaks me out.

14. Of course, you need egg lamps for the Easter parade.

Didn’t know that Easter eggs could light up like that. Yet, that doesn’t explain why they’re not wearing pants.

15. Eggshell rabbit wishes you a joyous Easter.

Yet, he’s greeted by a bunny with no clothes on. And the eggshell has a few cracks.

16. This chick has some eggs to sell in his basket.

Yes, this is a chick selling Easter eggs. Not sure how to explain that. And he’s even smoking a pipe.

17. City chickens always take the flower trolley.

So this trolley is filled with chicks and chickens. And yet, the chicks are seen as adults. Not sure why.

18. Sometimes a bunny has to do what she’s got to do.

Seems like the mother bunny’s come back with a load of eggs. And she’s showing her daughter the ropes.

19. Apparently, chicks always go for the bunnies.

Well, at least the rabbit is a gentleman. While the chick band plays in the background.

20. These 3 bunnies await for a steamship to come by the docks.

One bunny is using a chick for his portable organ. Like an organ grinder uses a monkey.

21. Holding a baby chick is always precious.

Yet, this girl is like, “I’ll hug em’ and squeeze em’ and keep em’ for ever and ever.” Yeah, that chick’s not set for a happy life.

22. Hop aboard the mighty SS Eggshell.

It’s an eggshell wooden ship with sails and flowers. But it’s all manned by chicks.

23. Chicks always love to fly on an Easter basket airship.

It even has Easter egg sand bags. But let’s hope no beak goes near the blimp.

24. Easter greetings from the chicks on a jeep.

Okay, it’s an old fashioned car. And the chicks are in military hats. But you have to like the pussy willow hood ornament.

25. In America, Easter chicks always hop off the blimp with a ladder.

Yes, I know it’s kind of crazy. But at least they’re not putting their beaks at the canvas.

26. Nothing impresses like pulling a rabbit out of their hat.

Yet, the bunny doesn’t seem impressed. Hope that woman stops gloating because she might be in a world of pain.

27. Spring cherubs always spread happiness at Eastertide.

This is kind of like a version of the bunny egg chariot. But the naked children pulling the egg cart don’t seem to mind.

28. Children always like finding eggs and chasing chickens.

Luckily the rooster got his family behind the giant Easter egg. Still, if the kids piss him off, they will soon regret it. Because roosters will attack.

29. I guess nobody wants to share a small egg home with a sheep.

Don’t look now. But I think that sheep just mauled the little kid. Yes, this home isn’t big enough for the both of them.

30. Let’s stop by to the hen with the Easter eggs.

Tragically, she’s so poor that she’ll have to sell some of her own children. What a shame.

31. Sometimes the Easter Bunny may toss an egg to a child.

Let’s hope that egg doesn’t break. Or else the girl gets egg all over her face.

32. A white rabbit is always a stunning Easter sight.

Yet, a white rabbit with red eyes has a certain creepiness to it. And this one seems like it’s up to something.

33. This chick and rabbit sit on a bench on a lazy afternoon.

The chick has a basket of eggs. Yet, the chick and bunny seems kind of messed up to me.

34. Victorian ladies often found bunnies irresistible.

She keeps them in the cage she’s sitting on along with a couple of chicks. Oh, and she’s wearing a fur stole while holding one.

35. “May Easter now and ever be,/A source for pleasure pure for thee.”

Yes, I know the rabbit’s talking from the egg. But it’s the little girl who creeps me out.

36. It’s well known that the Easter Bunny often stages a raid at a chicken coop.

Yet, while dismayed, the hen gives up without a fight. The rabbits are stunned.

37. Hobo rabbits often travel on old timey bikes.

How these rabbits can climb up the bikes, I have now idea. Yet they somehow do while carrying bindle sticks.

38. Somehow this chick’s terrified of taking a swim.

Considering what swimsuit she’s wearing, I wouldn’t blame her. Those kinds of swimsuits were impractical anyway.

39. It’s always best to practice singing early in the morning.

But standing on an egg? Not the brightest idea. Though I do like how the conductor is in his robe and pajamas.

40. While on a boat ride, a guitar always comes handy.

Yet, it seems that no one wants to hear Old Cheepy play “Oh, Susannah” for the 100th time. How annoying.

41. Apparently, Johnny likes to balance a chicken and eggs on his head.

There are so many ways this can go wrong. Also, that girl looks a bit weird.

42. “So what will it be for the eggs?”

And I see the kids and the rabbit are at the haggling stage. Don’t really want to know how this goes.

43. It takes a bell to teach bunnies how to sing.

A bell conducting bunnies during a recital? Sounds like this card was envisioned during a absinthe binge.

44. “Wait, who goes there?”

Well, if you were minding your business while being intruded by a creepy guy with a hammer and chisel, you’d feel the same way. That guy is terrifying.

45. Happy Easter from a couple of egg people.

Yes, I know these two seem like they’re straight from a drunken haze. Because I don’t know how else to explain it.

46. Speaking of egg people, here’s a couple walking their bee.

Yes, this is an egg couple walking their bee. Can’t believe I just said that.

47. Occasionally, a rooster might upset the eggs from the basket.

Not sure what I find a bit freakish about this. The large rooster screaming over eggs about to break? Or its human hands?

48. Hope your Easter comes well stacked.

Though these bunnies are stacked on each other, one is worried how their tower will hold. Let’s hope it doesn’t fall.

49. These bush bunnies wish you a happy Easter.

However, these rabbits seem like they’re planning to kill someone than give eggs to children. Avoid them like the plague.

50. This bunny band always plays on the eggs.

One’s even playing on eggs with music on it. Yet, let’s hope they’re careful for eggs aren’t the most durable things.

The Wonderful World of Peep Shows (No, Not that Kind) (Fifth Edition)

No Easter can be complete on my blog without a post on peep dioramas. Though peeps are sugar-coated marshmallow candy unfit for human consumption, you can easily use them to make your own peep dioramas. You even enter them in contests. One of the most famous is sponsored by the Washington Post. These peep scenes can come in many different varieties. Some can be parodies of significant works in pop culture. Some can be satirical depictions of current or history.  Or some can be showcases to aspects of everyday life or a particular location. Some of these peep dioramas can be made by children or families. Some by repressed art majors or artists. Yet, whatever the case, these marshmallow scenes can be a joy to look at. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of delightful peep dioramas for your Easter season.

  1. “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all peeps are created equal.”

It’s supposed to depict the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The main players have wigs.

2. He’ll soon break his glasses soon. Too bad nobody’s fixing them.

This is a takeoff from a famous Twilight Zone episode. It pertains to librarian who holes himself up during a nuclear war.

3. Get ready to rock with Spinal Peep.

It’s based on Spinal Tap, which is a parody rock group itself. Nonetheless, I don’t expect the drummer to last.

4. How about a peep for the Buckeyes?

Seems like they’ve come to a packed stadium. Even has a few buckeye nuts in back.

5. Apparently, some bunnies have an inkling for street art.

Or is it graffiti? Still, how did that one bunny get a ladder, I’ll never know.

6. “Do you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry peeps?”

Yes, it’s another Les Miserables peep diorama. But this one has buildings so I couldn’t miss it.

7. Looks like this road’s closed for work by PeepDOT.

Here are all the bunnies in their orange outfits. Yet, what’s with the chicks in the dump truck?

8. Evidently, this VMA peep show raised many eyebrows.

This is from the 2013 VMAs when Miley Cyrus twerked with Robin Thicke. And it’s all with marshmallow bunnies.

9. During the winter weekends, you’ll find Bunald Brump down at his Peep-a-Lago resort.

Caption: “‘PEEPs-A-LAGO!! Fun at the tremendous Winter White House!’ by Rose Byrne.” This is absolute genius.

10. Watch out for the marshmallow gators.

It’s a spoof from the History Channel reality show, “Swamp People.” And like most of the History Channel lineup, it features no history.

11. “Well, I shot a peep in Reno just to watch him die.”

This is a peep version of Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison concert. Like the blue bunnies in striped outfits.

12. Summer is always a fun time at the beach.

This beach even has a bar. You can even see a chick parasailing.

13. “Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.'” – Edgar Allan Peep.

This is a takeoff on “The Raven.” They even have the chick upon a bust of Pallas Athene.

14. Apparently, some bunnies have come across life on another planet.

Though I’m sure the US space shuttle is out of commission. Love the aliens though.

15. Seems like the Queen just landed.

This is from the 2012 London Olympics. Still, no queens were harmed during the Opening Ceremonies.

16. Mallow Ren’s having a Stormbunny meeting on Starkiller Base.

Got to love the Stormtroopers. Almost seems straight from The Force Awakens.

17. Bunny Baggins always feels at home in the Shire.

Caption: “‘The Peep’ or ‘There and Back Again; a Peep’s Tale’ by Bunny Baggins,” by Abby Zwicky” The house looks awesome.

18. Be enchanted by the mysteries of Peephenge.

The Stonehenge is made with blue bunnies. Not sure what the sheep are for though.

19. HPO presents “Last Peep Tonight with John Mallover.”

Caption: “‘Make Donald Drumpf Again,’ by Jill Schaefer of Minnetonka” This is perfect. Wonder what John Oliver thinks of this.

20. Donald Trump wants to “make America Great again.”

Caption: ”You’re Fired,’ by Brian Schomburg” And someone stole a letter from the sign. Though it’s just as well since he’s a narcissistic sociopath.

21. Behold, Peep Kong, the 8th Wonder of the World!

Think of King Kong with peeps. Includes Skull Island and the scene from the Empire State Building.

22. Looks like the sugary bunnies really love casino gambling.

They have blackjack, roulette, slots, and craps tables, too. There’s even live entertainment.

23. Nobody could get enough of HPO’s Game of Peeps.

Still, don’t be surprised if you find your favorite character killed off in this. Or any nudity for that matter.

24. Luke Peepwalker has come at an awkward time.

Luke visits Jabbas’s palace from Return of the Jedi. And there’s a bunny Princess Leia in her trademark bikini.

25. You don’t know where they bunnies are going in these stairs.

This is from another M.C. Escher work. And yes, the staircases are unreal.

26. On Halloween night, Linus cat waits for the Great pumpkin.

Yes, they do sell Halloween peeps as you see. But this is a clever rendition of a cartoon classic.

27. A&Peep is best known for airing Bun Dynasty.

Yes, the delightful down home duck caller millionaires are in peep form. But it’s all fun and games until the patriarch rants about gays and racial minorities.

28. Pirate peeps always take to the high seas in the Caribbean.

Based on the movie franchise you liked during your teens. Now with more bunnies and chicks.

29. Unfortunately, Washington D.C. has fallen to the dinosaurs.

Well, at least they don’t hold office in Congress. Still, not sure what I think about the destruction.

30. “It’s alive! It’s alive!”

This is from Frankenstein. Yes, it may be a breakthrough in science. But all won’t be well for long.

31. A dragon dance brings in the Chinese New Year.

It’s even in front of a Chinese restaurant. Though I’m not sure about the chicken.

32. Gather round for the Peepsburgh Banjo Club.

Like how their banjos are made of peppermint candies. And they’re below a disco ball.

33. “Grandma, what blue skin you have?”

I wouldn’t want to go near your grandmother, Little Red. She might not be herself right now.

34. I’m sure you all remember this peep circus from the 1990s.

Got to love how they used a cardboard box for the O.J. Simpson trial. I guess this is the glove doesn’t fit scene.

35. “Marty, to the Delorapeep!”

This is a rendition of Back to the Future. Cue “The Power of Love” from Huey Lewis and the News.

36. “There’s a peeps for us. A time and peeps for us.”

Can’t believe they did a peep diorama of the end of West Side Story. Kind of thought the dance scene would’ve been more appropriate.

37. “Hello, Clarpeeps.”

This is a takeoff from Silence of the Lambs. It’s where Clarice meets Hannibal Lecter.

38. Peeps have been taking selfies for time immemorial.

Spans from the cave to the smart phone. Even includes Van Gogh at one point.

39. “Your move, bunny boy.”

Yes, these are peeps on the chessboard. The bunnies are the good pieces. The chicks are all pawns.

40. Let us remember the Bun Laden raid by Seal Peep 6.

I know it’s a diorama on the death of Bin Laden. It’s even complete with explosions and bunnies in camo.

41. I believe the Earth’s not doing Klaatu any favors.

I guess this is the beginning of The Day the Earth Stood Still. There’s even a bunny robot.

42. Peeps always have fun at the fun fair.

This place seems to have lots of rides and places to eat. Love this cute display. So adorable.

43. A lot of strange things happen in Twin Peeps.

This is a rendition of Dale Cooper’s strange dream. Other than the log lady, it’s a part most people remember.

44. “That’s one small step for peep, one giant leap for peepkind.”

Neil Armstrong has planted the flag. Buzz is in the module waiting to get out.

45. Apparently, Whistler’s mother was a cute chick.

Well, Whistler’s mother’s a chick in this depiction. But she’s wearing the same outfit.

46. Vermeer’s Chick with a Pearl Earring has become his masterpiece.

This has a chick with a scarf on its head and pearls. It’s a tribute to a work of art.

47. The bunny always abides.”

Had to include a peep version of The Big Lebowski. And yes, it’s in a bowling alley.

48. If the pea can’t keep her up, then she can’t be a princess.

This is from the Princess and the Pea. And it comes with all the mattresses stacked.

49. Now we can see what’s inside Donald Trump’s head.

This one seems to borrow from Inside Out. Yet, the bunnies all have Trump hair. Also, there’s a picture of Ivanka.

50. Albun Einstein is a quintessential genius.

I’m sure you’ll find him quite a genius, relatively speaking. Still, not sure if I can see Albert Einstein as a bunny.

Armed Teachers: Are you F#@king Kidding Me?

At 2:19 p.m. on Wednesday, February 14, 2018, a former student went on a shooting rampage at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. When the firing subsided, 17 people were dead. 12 of the victims were found inside the school, 2 outside the building, 1 on the street, and 2 others died in the hospital. 14 others were injured and taken to local hospitals with many in critical condition. According to students, chaos ensued when a fire alarm sounded near dismissal time. The shooter started firing outside before making his way through the hallways. He wore a gas mask and used smoke grenades to start picking off people as the kids came out. One student recounted classroom windows shattering and a bullet near the shades. While hiding under a teacher’s desk, she heard 4 of her injured classmates screaming in pain. As SWAT officers escorted students out of the classroom, she saw them covered in blood. One teacher told CNN that she hid her students in a closet until law enforcement arrived. TV footage showed students running single file with their hands in the air, throwing backpacks into a large pile and huddling under trees across the street. SWAT officers entered classrooms with guns drawn and escorted shaking and crying students. Worried parents crowded around the school, frantic to know whether what happened to their child.

Arrested a short distance near a home was 19-year-old Nikolas Cruz. A former student, he’d been expelled for “disciplinary reasons” but was once a member of the school’s Junior Reserved Officers Training Corps. Some students and teachers said they knew him and that he had guns. Though a quiet kid who usually kept to himself, he was uniquely troubled since had once attended a school for emotionally and disabled students. One former classmate said Cruz would joke about shooting people or establishments. He’d talk a lot about having guns and using them in different situations. He also had some anger management issues. His math teacher told a newspaper, “We were told last year that he wasn’t allowed on campus with a backpack on him. There were problems with him last year threatening students, and I guess he was asked to leave campus.” Even the Broward Sheriff’s Office showed concerns about Cruz for more than 2 years before the incident took place. In 2016, deputies went to his home more than 3 dozen times. That September, a “peer counselor” reported that Cruz might’ve attempted suicide via gasoline, was cutting himself, and wanted to buy hunting guns. His mother Lynda said her son “wrote hate signs on his book bag and had recently talked of buying firearms.” In September 2017, his comment with his intention to become a “professional school shooter” on a YouTube video was reported to the FBI in Mississippi. After his mother’s death in November, her cousin Katherine Blaine reported that Cruz owned rifles and asked the BSO to collect them. Later that month, she called the BSO again to report him fighting with her 22-year-old son. She also shared details that Cruz, “bought a gun from Dick’s last week and is now going to pick it up.” She added that he “bought tons of ammo,” and had “used a gun against (people) before” and “put the gun to others’ heads in the past.” In January 2018, the FBI received a tip “a person close to Nikolas Cruz,” alerting them to “Cruz’s gun ownership, desire to kill people, erratic behavior, and disturbing social media posts, as well as the potential of him conducting a school shooting.”

Nikolas Cruz’s arsenal consisted of an AR-15 style rifle and countless magazines, legally purchased from a Coral Springs gun store. When arrested, he had 180 rounds of ammunition left. Given that his behavior signaled red flags and local law enforcement response, it’s clear that this guy shouldn’t be able to buy a gun like that. However, if the Trayvon Martin incident should tell us anything it’s that Florida has notoriously shitty gun laws. Martin’s killer George Zimmerman was still allowed to carry a gun despite an arrest record and a history of violence. He also got away with killing a black teenager thanks its “stand your ground” which lets a person shoot an assailant if they’re attacked in a place where they have a legal right to be and avoid criminal prosecution. Despite that Martin was an unarmed teenager minding his own business when Zimmerman went after him. Orlando Pulse nightclub shooter Omar Mateen was still able to legally purchase a Saur SIG MCX semi-automatic and a 9mm Glock handgun despite a history of domestic violence and had been investigated by the FBI twice for terrorism connections. In addition, you don’t have to be a Florida resident to get a concealed carry handgun permit from its Department of Agriculture. But you don’t need a permit or license to own a gun or even conceal carry a rifle or shotgun. Nor do you have to register a firearm either. In Florida, you can buy as many guns as you want at one time. They don’t regulate assault weapons, .50-caliber rifles, or high capacity magazines either. Hell, they don’t even require a state license for gun sellers to sell firearms. It’s easy to imagine how Cruz could get weapons from a gun store to shoot up his high school. But surely local governments can enact their own gun control rules? Actually, Florida prohibits cities and counties from doing exactly that. In fact, elected officials who dare implement new gun restrictions can be fined or removed from office by the governor.

These students experienced what will be most traumatic event in their lives. It’s no surprise that several have criticized the usual “thoughts and prayers” condolences and have urged politicians to take action to prevent more children from getting killed in shootings. Some of them have demanded stricter gun control measures, organized a group called Never Again MSD, and condemned lawmakers who’ve received contributions from the National Rifle Association. On February 17, they held a rally at Fort Lauderdale attended by hundreds. On February 20, dozens of Stoneman Douglas High School students marched to the State Capitol in Tallahassee, where they watched the Florida House of Representatives reject a bill that would’ve banned assault weapons and high capacity magazines in a 71-36 vote. More than 3,000 attended a rally at the Florida State Capitol the following day while state’s students orchestrated a mass walkout. Never Again MSD and other groups have also played in pressuring corporations into revoking their NRA sponsorships and discounts to NRA members.

But these students’ crusade has attracted considerable backlash from the NRA and its allies on the political right. Conspiracy theorists claimed they’re “crisis actors,” left-wing puppets, or just kids. Some pundits see these students’ reactions as emotional and immature, which the media is taking too seriously. As the National Review’s Ben Shapiro wrote, “What, pray tell, did these students do to earn their claim to expertise?” The NRA and its allies have also pinned mass shootings on mental health, violent media, the mainstream news, and anything else but guns. Yet, what concerns me are what the NRA and its allies propose to do to prevent mass shooting epidemic. Instead of challenging the National Rifle Association’s grip on American gun politics or an assault weapons ban, some conservatives have suggested measures like putting armed drones in schools, using Homeland security technology to create barriers against potential shooters, arming retired police and military personnel to guard classrooms, or using the same security mechanisms as airports. All these policy ideas bring the “police state” into the classroom. As someone who grew up in the wake of Columbine with transparent backpacks, metal detectors, security cameras, and morning security checks, I don’t want to encourage any of it. Some of them are utterly ridiculous, expensive and impractical. Armed drones were designed to kill, cost as much as $30,000, and would be extremely dangerous in a school setting. Even conservatives have decried the Transportation Security Administration’s ineffectiveness and heavy-handed policies (like missing 95% of weapons and explosives in 2015). Not to mention, its annual budget is $7.5 billion for 15,000 airports, let alone 98,000 public schools. Oh, according to the National Association of School Resource Officers, around 40% of public schools have at least one full-time or part-time SRO. MSD High School and every single high school in its district had one. Only 12 states have laws specifying requirements for law enforcement officials working in schools which may or may not involve preparing for mass shootings. Besides, SRO and student confrontations have increased in recent years. Metal detectors have also proved ineffective.

However, the most crackbrained idea in the NRA school of mass shooting prevention is arming teachers, which Donald Trump has endorsed even if it means paying “a little bit of bonus” to do so. Apparently, this is an extension of the “good guy with a gun” myth, which states that if more people are armed, they can stop violence before it gets worse or prevent it altogether. However, this is just a mere fantasy you see in action movies. There’s no good research on the effect of arming teachers or putting armed police or security in schools, which by itself should raise red flags. But based on the evidence we have, there’s enough to suggest that putting more guns in schools could make gun violence worse. The notion of arming teachers is so completely insane that even teachers don’t want anything to do with it.

The fundamental problem with gun violence in the United States is that there are so many guns in circulation already. As a result, it’s easier for any conflict to escalate into a form of gun violence. And that’s why the US has more shootings than its developed peers. Add more guns, you get more gun violence and more gun deaths. Sure some people have successfully defended themselves from attacks with guns. But arming more people typically does more harm than good. Apply that lesson to school, then Donald Trump’s armed teacher proposal could be downright dangerous.

The United States has way more gun deaths than other developed nations and far more guns than any other country in the world. It also has by far the highest number of privately owned guns which was 88.8 per 100 people, followed by the quasi-failed state of Yemen which had 54.8 guns per 100 people. Though mass shootings only constitute less than 2% of such deaths in 2013, the US holds 31% of global mass shooters. Of course, guns aren’t the only contributor to violence. But when researchers control other confounding variables, they’ve repeatedly found that America’s high levels of gun ownership are a major reason why the US experiences far more gun violence than its developed peers.

A 1999 Berkeley study found that the US doesn’t have more crime than other developed nations. It’s that the prevalence of guns largely drives more lethal violence. As Professors Franklin Zimring and Gordon Hawkins wrote, “A series of specific comparisons of the death rates from property crime and assault in New York City and London show how enormous differences in death risk can be explained even while general patterns are similar. A preference for crimes of personal force and the willingness and ability to use guns in robbery make similar levels of property crime 54 times as deadly in New York City as in London.” People all over the world get into arguments and fights with friends, family, and peers. But in the US, it’s much more likely that someone will get in an argument and be able to pull out a gun and kill someone. Now imagine a school scenario where some kids or teachers get into an argument while there’s a gun in class. When someone reaches for it, what may have turned into an otherwise feisty argument escalates into a fatal clash. Considering that shootings have erupted over cheeseburger and taco disputes, people can do stupid things in the heat of the moment. Americans don’t have a monopoly on arguing about stupid shit. But what it does have is an easy access to guns, making escalation much more likely. Being on the autistic spectrum, an increased presence of guns in schools is the stuff of nightmares. Arming teachers will only increase the presence of guns, which could lead to more gun violence and school shootings.

While the NRA likes to promote the idea of owning a gun as a way to defend oneself against criminals, statistics show that for every justifiable gun homicide, there were 34 criminal gun homicides, 78 gun suicides, and 2 accidental gun deaths. An FBI report on active shooter events between 2000 and 2013 found that armed civilians stopped only 3% of them. By contrast, unarmed civilians actually stopped 13% incidents. 56% of them ended on the shooter’s own initiative when they killed themselves, simply shot shooting, or fled the scene. Since there’s no good research for answers, it’s difficult to say whether more access to guns could’ve prevented these shootings. But since the US already has a lot of guns, it’s likely to make the overall gun violence problem worse, not better.

Finally, and most importantly, Donald Trump and the NRA’s comments about arming teachers suggest that this would be an easy and quick way to end mass shootings. According to a tweet last week, “History shows that a school shooting lasts, on average, 3 minutes. It takes police & first responders approximately 5 to 8 minutes to get to site of crime. Highly trained, gun adept, teachers/coaches would solve the problem instantly, before police arrive. GREAT DETERRENT!” Except that arming people doesn’t mean they can properly respond to a mass shooting. As Pennsylvania police investigator Chris Benton told ABC News, “Video games and movies, they glorify gunfights. [People] get that warped sense that this is true — this video game is exactly what I can do in real life. That’s not reality.” Multiple simulations have demonstrated that if placed in an active shooting situation while armed, most people wouldn’t be able to stop the situation. If anything, they may do little more than get themselves killed in the process. More recently, The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper put this theory to the test in a more comedic simulated segment. As a correspondent at the time, he trained in the basics of using firearms and received a concealed carry permit valid in 30 states. He then participated in mass shooting situations to see how he’d hold up in such a scenario. He failed miserably. In his final test simulating a school shooting, he shot an unarmed civilian and was shot multiple times by active shooters and even law enforcement who mistook him for the bad guy. He never took down the active shooters. Let’s just say that he would’ve been much better off if he waited for the cops while hiding under a desk.

What gun rights activists sold on the NRA’s “good guy with a gun” fantasy ignore is that mass shootings are traumatizing, terrifying events. Without dozens to hundreds of hours in training, most people aren’t going to quickly and properly respond to mass shootings, As Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training senior instructor Cobey Briehn told Klepper, “There’s never enough training. You can never get enough.” According to an FBI analysis of active shooters between 2000 and 2013, “Law enforcement suffered casualties in 21 (46.7%) of the 45 incidents where they engaged the shooter to end the threat.” These people trained to do this kind of thing full time. Yet, nearly half of these incidents resulted in at least one officer getting wounded or killed. Teachers with limited training would fare much worse. Of course, that’s if armed personnel even respond.
Yet, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School’s resource officer Scot Peterson was armed and trained for a mass shooter scenario. According to the NRA’s convoluted logic, this good guy with a gun should’ve been able to stop Nikolas Cruz from shooting up his school. But when Peterson heard actual gunfire, he ran towards the building but didn’t go in. Instead, he waited for 4-6 minutes until the gunshots stopped. It’s like he didn’t know whether to shit or wind his watch. That doesn’t mean that “a good guy with a gun” wouldn’t ever be able to stop a shooter. For there are high-profile cases where it’s been the case. But most findings from news organizations to The Daily Show heavily suggest that this idea often plays out very differently than what the NRA and Trump supporters envision. Sometimes that could result in more innocent people caught in the crossfire.

The research makes it perfectly clear. If the United States wants to confront gun violence, it should consider reducing the number of guns in circulation, not arming teachers. What people do with their guns at home is their business. But there is no place for guns in a public space, especially a school. While many may think that gun free zones make people defenseless in an active shooter situation, unarmed civilians have stopped 13% of mass shootings. Besides, your odds of survival in an active shooter scenario are much higher if you try to avoid getting killed like hiding in a closet or under a table. No student should have to die because some middle age white guy wants to play Rambo with a brand-new assault rifle. If he wants to play Rambo, he should buy a semi-automatic nerf gun from Toys R’ Us like his kids do. Or a super soaker. At least you won’t kill anyone with either. Oh, those guns don’t look real enough for a big, brawny tough guy? Well, use your imagination like most kids do when playing with their toys.

Arming teachers to prevent future massacres in the classroom is a ludicrously stupid idea, especially since a Georgia high school teacher blockaded his door and proceeded to shoot. According to Donald Trump and his allies, teachers should be capable of “neutralizing” “threats.” In other words, killing their students. If you’re a teacher, imagine waking up every morning knowing that you might have to take the life of a young person in your care, should the unthinkable happen. Imagine this being part of your job like assigning extra homework or detention. Should Jimmy pull a knife and you or your students feel sufficiently threatened, could you point a gun at him and shoot him until he’s dead? Even if at the risk of accidentally killing his classmates? Besides, while there are plenty of fine teachers in our nation’s public school system, you’ll also find plenty of idiots and perverts. Some white teachers may be racist who might feel threatened if a student of color acts up. Would you trust them with a gun? Some teachers may not have the eyesight or the physical capability to handle weapons. Some teachers may not be emotionally able to handle such responsibility of taking a student’s life due to nervous breakdowns. Some teachers might be irresponsible with their instruments of death that their piece might somehow end up in a student’s hands. Then what? A student getting a gun can present lots of terrible possibilities. Others may not want anything to do with guns at all. Not to mention, what if guns in the classroom keep children from attending school? There are many ways this can go horribly wrong.

It’s distressing that people in this country think putting weapons in teachers’ hands is the only way to prevent students from killing each other with guns. Yet, arming teachers is a way for these people to ensure children’s safety without making sacrifices for the greater good. And by sacrifices, I mean buying a semi-automatic they don’t need to play soldier with, give a false sense of security, and assure their toughness and masculinity. A society with armed teachers isn’t one that promotes freedom or safety. Since you’re one social faux pas or trigger away from getting your head blown off by a stranger. That is not a society I want to live in. Nor do most Americans, in that matter. Teachers shouldn’t have to pack heat knowing that they may have to kill a student in a mass shooting situation. If we want to keep students safe in school, then we need to keep guns out of the classroom.

Spring Into These Easter Craft Projects (Third Edition)

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Now that I’ve gotten the treats over with, it’s on to the craft projects. As you can see, most of these are associated with spring like bunnies, flowers, butterflies, sheep, chicks, and colored eggs. You may even find some outdoor decorations like you see above. Yet, alongside St. Patrick’s Day decorations, Easter decor isn’t out of view since it might fall sometime after March 17. While many people might put some Easter decorations up on their houses, some may prefer to make their own. And for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Easter craft projects for you to enjoy.

  1. You can’t go wrong with a bunny centerpiece on moss.

Includes a plaster bunny with fancy Easter eggs. Goes well with a daffodil bouquet.

2. Don’t forget to hang your bunnies with your carrots.

The carrots are orange while the bunnies are green and fuzzy. Includes balls of green and orange yarn.

3. Care for a wooden bunny spoon?

Well, she’s made from a wooden spoon. Her arms are made from pipe cleaners while she sports purple bows.

4. Welcome your Easter guests with this egg and flower wreath.

Well, this mostly consists of pastel Easter eggs with small flowers. Perfect for any spring door.

5. Welcome spring with a bird’s nest behind glass.

Don’t worry, the bird’s nest isn’t real. Yet, you have to admire the flowery branches it sits on.

6. Got plastic eggs? Make a wreath out of it.

The eggs come in a variety of colors. And it contains 3 bows in Easter ribbon.

7. This bunny rag wreath can get anyone hopping.

Well, it’s tied with rags of pastel colors. And it certainly looks quite snazzy in a bow tie.

8. To be closer to nature, you might prefer a wreath of moss.

It’s covered in moss as well as consist of a bird’s nest and 3 roses. Lovely.

9. Step out this Easter wearing this ribbon carrot pin.

You may have to use green and orange ribbons. But it seems rather simple to make.

10. Spring into Easter with this lamp.

This one has a bunny with eggs. Love the pink and purple ribbon and flowers.

11. For a more holy Easter, a cross wreath with lilies will do nicely.

It’s a grapevine wreath with lilies and a boy. Simple yet stunning.

12. You’ll find these tiny bunnies snug in their carrots.

All these are made out of felt and are used as bunny sleeping bags. I’m sure kids will love these. So cute.

13. Grace your front door with a green rabbit wreath.

This one has fake foliage with burlap ears and bow. And like all bunny wreaths, it includes a fluffy tail.

14. Nothing makes Easter like a bunny shutter.

This one has a bunny painted on an old shutter. Also has colored eggs on the border.

15. What would Easter be without a fluffy chick?

This fuzzy chickie is made out of pom poms. And yes, it’s so cute.

16. Make your Easter table with this table runner.

Two sides have quilted colored eggs. The middle consists of a grid of pastel squares.

17. Don’t like wreaths? How about a deco mesh carrot?

Yes, it’s mostly in orange with a green top. But you’re sure to dupe any rabbit with a carrot fix.

18. Didn’t know flowers can sprout from eggs.

This is a centerpiece that has flowers rising from bulbs in the eggs. It’s supposed to represent the start of spring.

19. Perhaps you might want a bouquet of purple flowers at your door.

Includes lilacs and tulips in a white vase hung from the top. Sure they’re fake but they’re beautiful.

20. For a more penitent Easter, you might want to go with this panel.

Well, Easter is a religious holiday denoting Christ’s resurrection. So expect a lot of crosses.

21. Sometimes the less Easter egg you have the better.

Well, these are made out of yarn and glue. But you have to admire the creative spirit to create this wreath.

22. Looks like a potted plant just fell victim to a bunny infestation.

Actually no, since it’s an Easter decoration. But it’s nonetheless clever and adorable.

23. You can’t have an egg wreath without some carrots.

The wreath is light blue while eggs are in all kinds of colors and patterns. So lovely.

24. This little chick has some long-eared aspirations.

This is a little crocheted chick dressed in a bunny costume. So cute.

25. Spring always brings the best in all of us with this Easter wreath and panel.

It’s a panel that says “Hope.” The ‘O’ is a wreath of yellow flowers.

26. This bunny says “Feliz Pasca” with a patched up heart.

“Feliz Pasca” is “Happy Easter” in Spanish. But this is quite adorable, no matter what language you speak.

27. Nothing says Easter like a flower basket with lights.

This consists of flowers, eggs, and a bunny. Put it anywhere in the house and people will adore it.

28. Yellow flowers can always enhance a wreath of Easter eggs.

The eggs are mostly plastic. But if you have a lot of these, here’s an idea to consider.

29. This bunny wreath has Easter eggs all over.

This is made out of yarn and you can see the pastel eggs all over. They almost seem to resemble Christmas lights.

30. Instead of a wreath, why not try an Easter basket?

Okay, it’s a decomesh Easter basket wreath. But it nonetheless contains Easter eggs.

31. Seems this little bunny really loves a carrot.

Well, I think it’s a plush bunny and carrot of some sort. Yet, nobody could resist that bunny face.

32. Nothing welcomes spring like a pink tulip wreath.

How else could you welcome spring? And yes, these flowers are gorgeous.

33. The bunny and chick come from the same carrot on this panel.

Well, that’s kind of bizarre. But you have to appreciate the sentiment behind it.

34. No Easter is complete without a bunny doily.

This has white bunnies all around in an Easter egg background. And yes, they’re adorable.

35. You’ll be hard not to resist these little bunny heads.

These are plush figures made from some flowery cloth. And all have bows on their ears. So sweet.

36. You’d swear this Easter egg was all buttons.

Actually it consists of buttons sewn on a cloth. But it has a certain Easter charm.

37. A basket always has room for 2.

However, we all know that in the rabbit world, 1+1 = infinity. Because you know how they produce a lot of young in a short timespan.

38. On an Easter wreath, make sure the flowers really stand out.

This one has pink and purple flowers with matching ribbons. But it’s an Easter wreath since it includes eggs.

39. Light up your Easter with this paper bunny lantern.

You can find a paper lantern at any craft store by the way. But make sure you add some bunny attributes and a bow tie.

40. Care for a red cabbage bouquet?

I’m sure the cabbage and flowers are fake. Since a real cabbage may not make such an elegant vase. So pretty.

41. Seems like we have some eggs on the flowers.

That or it’s rather magnificent bird’s nest. Still, wouldn’t mind having this at my house.

42. Didn’t know you can carry flowers in an umbrella.

Actually, I’ve seen a few of these before. But none were nearly spectacular as this bouquet.

43. For vibrancy, just add a butterfly.

Well, a pink butterfly anyway. But if you like a bright color wreath for Easter, this is for you.

44. Perhaps a shiny egg tree may suit your fancy.

Mostly consists of pink, blue, gold, and green ones. Yet, add some yellow tulle and a pink bow, it stuns.

45. There’s nothing better than an Easter egg decked with buttons.

Make sure the buttons are in pastel colors but shape doesn’t matter. Helps that it’s set atop a flower pot.

46. While we’re in the spring of things, here’s a cabbage tulip bouquet.

The tulips here are in purple, lavender, and orange. And the cabbage is a normal green.

47. To mark this holy occasion, a cross with white flowers is recommended.

Cross consists of sticks tied together. Still, the flowers are really pretty.

48. Everyone would love to see flowers on your Easter table.

Not sure if the flowers are real or fake. But make sure you include some Easter eggs.

49. If you’re not into flowers, perhaps you might like this centerpiece.

It’s a basket with some vases and bunnies. Perfect for any spring Easter celebration.

50. Nobody could resist this festive Easter basket.

Has plenty of flowers and eggs at your desire. And you can’t help but endear yourself to the two bunnies.

51. Enhance your Easter table with this Easter egg table runner.

The quilted eggs are of different colors and patterns. And you got to love the colors on the border.

52. A wooden chocolate bunny is a quality Easter decoration.

Sure you can’t eat it. Yet, what’s Easter without a chocolate bunny?

53. Make sure the bottles on your Easter bouquets match what’s in them.

The bottles are white, blue, and lavender. And each contains purple flowers, reeds, and Easter eggs.

54. You’ll find some colorful birds in this tree.

This is a flowering tree with birds of several different colors. And everything here is made from what you’d find at a craft store.

55. Speaking of trees, bring Easter joy with this tree of Easter eggs.

They have trees like this in Germany, by the way. So I guess this is the small apartment version.

56. A bunny wreath should always have floppy ears and paws.

It’s also decorated with flowers and eggs. And it is touched with a lavender bow.

57. Grace your front door with a floral egg carton wreath.

Didn’t know egg cartons could make such vibrant flowers. Love it.

58. Serve your guests with this Easter egg table runner.

This one has rather fancy eggs in several colors and patterns. It even has chicks around the border.

59. Don’t forget to add a few carrots.

Okay, these aren’t real so don’t try to eat them. But they’re great for a door decoration.

60. You can’t get enough of these clothespin bunnies.

These are painted in pastel colors as well as have eyes and flower on their ears. So cute.

61. You can have a fancy bouquet with Easter eggs.

The eggs are mostly lavender. The flowers are mostly white and pink.

62. You can’t get enough of a bunny in a nest.

Well, it’s a bunny in a large bird’s nest. Also includes a lot of flowers and foliage.

63. You can’t go wrong with a tulle egg wreath in the Easter season.

And it comes with all the Easter touches. Great for welcoming springtime. Love it.

64. You’ll need some eggs for that flower basket.

This is in a metal basket and the eggs are white. But that doesn’t make it less Eastery.

65. An egg and flower wreath is an ideal place for a rabbit.

This one has a bunny in the center. While the eggs and flowers are in pastel colors.

66. Apparently, this little chickie has come out of its shell.

It’s an amigurumi chick that just hatched. And yes, it’s adorably fuzzy.

67. A bunny is at home among the flowers.

Apparently, this looks like a very expensive centerpiece. But the flowers are quite pretty.

68. Anyone would be overjoyed with these Easter egg trees.

The trees may be of different heights. But each is covered in pastel eggs that almost appear sweet as candy.

69. Set your Easter dish on this felt bunny doily.

It’s a green doily with white bunny and fancy eggs. Love the flowers.

70. You’ll chirp for these glittery birdhouses.

Each glittery house has a fuzzy bird or 2. Some are yellow. Some are pink.

71. You’d rejoice to this purple decomesh wreath.

This one is all Easter eggs. Two are in fancy colors. The rest are significantly smaller.

72. You’d almost think these carrots sprouted flowers.

Actually they’re bouquets wrapped in orange cloth. Clever if you look at it.

73. A flower basket should come with its own bunny.

This is a wall hanging with a couple flower baskets. All to celebrate the coming of spring.

74. This hanging basket will bring you some Easter joy.

The flowers are all yellow. The Easter eggs are all in shiny glitter. Love it.

75. A tulip bouquet should always include peeps and grass.

Best part about this bouquet is that everything’s in purple. Wouldn’t mind having it on my Easter table.

76. Looks like a little bunny’s gotten into that purse.

It’s a pink bunny purse for Easter. Great for church or the parade. Comes with bunny ears sticking out in the front pocket.

77. Nothing says happy Easter like a wooden bunny outside your door.

Yes, the wood has a fine texture to it. Love how it has a blue bow around its neck.

78. Didn’t know you’d find bunnies in a candy dispenser.

The bunnies are mostly pink. Yet, I think these are quite clever. So cute.

79. You can always dress a rusty urn with Easter eggs.

It mostly consist of an Easter egg wreath on a plant. Not sure if it’s easy. But it’s quite ingenious.

80. Greet the Easter evening with these Easter egg candles.

You can put them on a table with flowers. Hope some of them come scented.

81. Make sure you keep your bird’s nests in a terrarium jar.

These come in 3 different sizes. Some even have flowers and butterflies.

82. Perhaps you might delight to an Easter egg table spread.

This is made from strips of fabric. And each stripe is in a unique color and pattern.

83. Cuddle up with these sock bunnies.

Each one is stuffed with cotton and tied with a bow. And yes, they’re all irresistibly adorable.

84. Bring in the Easter spirit with a bunny in a box on an urn.

Helps if it includes tulips. Like how the bunny is holding a carrot in its paws.

85. With these amigurumi chick, you’ll chirp with glee.

Each of these chickies is in a flower skirt. But you just want to hold these in your hand and snuggle.

86. Rejoice in the resurrection with this decomesh lavender cross.

Even comes with purple flowers. Wouldn’t mind having this on my door.

87. Nothing makes a better Easter centerpiece like this 3 tiered basket.

Each tier has eggs and bunnies. Really brings spring in the air, doesn’t it?

88. It’s always spring in your home with this Easter basket on your door.

Even has the word “Spring” in eggs. But the red tulips really stand out.

89. Hope you can hang some Easter eggs on your flowers.

Not sure why people do this. But this is a rather stunning bouquet nonetheless.

90. Light up your Easter with this bunny glass block.

This one has fuzzy and sequined ears. Yet, you have the love the pom pom cheeks. So cute.

91. Some may prefer more bedazzling Easter eggs.

Never thought I’d see sparkly Easter eggs before. So shiny. Love these.

92. How about a large peep on your front door?

Yes, peeps aren’t fit for human consumption. But it’s quite adorable nonetheless.

93. Don’t let your little bunny go on an egg hunt without these bunny bags.

Now these are just so great. Each bag has long ears and a fluffy cotton tail.

94. How about an egg in cloth strips?

Each is in pastel strips sewn on a cloth canvas. Perfect for any Easter home.

95. Step out this Easter wearing a ribbon Easter basket pin.

Each is a basket of pink with eggs inside. All of them are in dots patterns.

96. Peep lovers would adore this sign.

All the bunnies are in glitter. Though peeps candy are inedible, this is one awesome sign.

97. Bring spring joy to your home with an Easter tree.

Well, they have trees for every holiday these days. Still, love the lights.

98. A butterfly at the nest is a sign of spring.

Has Easter eggs inside. And the nest is over the branch.

99. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Care Bunnies.

Each of these bunnies are made of pom poms. And each is adorable in its own way.

100. You can’t have Easter without a fuzzy bunny wreath.

This yarn wreath even has fringes on the edges. Great to hang on your front door for the Easter season.

Hop Down the Bunny Trail for These Easter Treats (Fourth Edition)

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Though it’s still February, the fact St. Patrick’s Day and Easter can be so close to each other some years means I have to do posts with bunnies, colored eggs, chicks, flowers, and pastels after shamrocks and leprechauns. This year is no different since Easter falls on April 1, which is also April Fool’s Day. Nonetheless, it’s a day marked with egg hunts, springtime, and family gatherings. It’s also a religious holiday marking Jesus rising from the dead after his crucifixion on Good Friday. Still, even though I do a lot of posts on Easter, it’s not one of my favorite holidays. Mostly because it’s less fun if you’re an adult and don’t live where there’s an Easter parade. And the peep diorama contests take a lot of work. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of Easter treats.

  1. Care for a bunny peep cup?

    Not sure if these are even edible. But people will feel charmed by these treats.

    2. Treat yourself this Easter to some Oreo sheep.

    These are Oreos covered with icing and marshmallows. And yes, the sheep has a smiley face.

    3. Nothing says Easter like a chocolate bunny candy cake.

    This one has 2 chocolate bunnies in pastel peanut M&M. The Kit Kats fence them in.

    4. Try pulling a bunny out of this hat.

    Yes, it’s a cake of a bunny inside a hat. And the magic wand is a pretzel stick.

    5. These Easter egg cookies go well on any springtime dessert platter.

    This one has Easter peanut M&Ms on icing grass. Make they are in all different colors.

    6. Welcome spring with these fancy floral cookies.

    Yes, they’re undoubtedly professionally made. Yet, they’re nevertheless works of art in their own right.

    7. You’ll be chirping for these chicky cake pops.

    Each of these is on a stick within a pot of grass. So adorable you can eat them up.

    8. These spring flowers make a unique Easter snack.

    Each of these has pastel M&Ms on a waffle pretzel. And all kept together with icing.

    9. No little bunny could resist this Bento Easter lunch.

    This one consists of 2 bunny sandwiches that are rubbing noses with each other. Now isn’t that cute?

    10. You’ll find these chick cookies all packed in an egg carton.

    Each of these is an egg shape depicting a chick hatching. Yes, they’re professionally made. But they’re adorable.

    11. Any mother hen minding her chicks will adore this bento lunch.

    Well, they’re all made of rice and dressed. The chicks even have similar hats.

    12. Check out the chicks from these deviled eggs.

    Okay, that’s kind of disturbing if you really think about it. I mean most of these eggs come from chickens.

    13. Seems like the bunnies made themselves at home on this cake.

    On the top, a couple are having a picnic. On the bottom, a couple are scurrying home.

    14. For an Easter snack, may I suggest some popcorn sheep?

    Actually these consists of 2 sheep and a tree. The fence is made from the waffle sandwich cookies.

    15. Bunny cookies should come in all colors.

    Each of them is in white polka dots. And yes, they’re professionally made.

    16. You’d be a bad egg not to include these chicky deviled eggs.

    These have olive eyes. Makes them seem bloodshot while emerging from their hardboiled eggshells.

    17. Speaking of chicks, you can’t go wrong with these chicky cupcakes.

    Each of these includes a chick hatched from an egg along with flowers on grass. And yes, these are professionally made.

    18. There’s something twisty about these bunny rolls.

    These are rolls made from dough meant to resemble a bunny in twisty fashion. And yes, they include the cotton tail.

    19. Didn’t know bunnies could live in gingerbread houses.

    I’m sure this is used for decoration. But the roof is lined with jelly beans. And you can see a bunny at the window.

    20. Might want to serve these bunny cupcakes with an ice cream cone.

    Well, they’re not as adorable as the ones I showed last year. But you have to like how one cone opening is used for the teeth.

    21. Grace your appetizer platter with a bunny cheese dip snack tray.

    This one even has carrot ears. Not to mention it has jelly bean eyes and buttons.

    22. Care for some peep smores?

    Yes, I know peeps are inedible marshmallows covered in sugar meant to resemble chicks and bunnies. But if it’s Easter, how else will you make a smore?

    23. There’s something sheepish about these cupcakes.

    They even have chocolate horns like a ram. And yes, both have an adorable smile on their faces.

    24. Any girl would love to have a bouquet of daisies.

    Well, a bouquet of daisy cookies that is. Doesn’t hurt if any have ladybugs on them.

    25. Nobody could resist this fuzzy wuzzy bunny cake.

    This one has coconut over it, including its ears and rosy cheeks. And it’s all topped with a purple bow.

    26. You’ll hop for these Rice Krispie bunnies.

    Each one has a cute little face and a bow on their ears. Sure you can’t eat the bow but these are cute nonetheless.

    27. This bunny cake is content among the jelly beans.

    Yes, it’s another bunny cake. But this one has paper ears. Kind of disappointing.

    28. Perhaps you might fancy a bento lunch among the flowers.

    Well, the flowers are purple and are mostly of rice. But they’re quite pretty.

    29. Hope you can have all your egg cookies on one cake.

    All of the Easter egg cookies are on a stick and in one color. And they’re all on top of a basket cake.

    30. Grace your dessert platter with these Easter bites.

    On top they either have colored eggs or a daffodil. And yes, they’re all in lavender as well as professionally made.

    31. Suppose these Easter brownie bites might suit your taste buds.

    Each one has an egg on top with green icing. Feel free to take one and pop into your mouth.

    32. Apparently, these bunnies can scale a giant carrot.

    Actually it’s a cake. Nor sure if it’s carrot cake. But it certainly has a carrot top.

    33. Enchant your guests with these Oreo stick bunnies.

    All the bunnies even have a basket of eggs. So adorable you want to eat these up.

    34. Would you like an egg or bunny sandwich?

    Actually, they’re both cucumber. So it’s the same either way.

    35. Spring into Easter with this flower basket cake.

    Each tier has an arrangement of purple, yellow, and white flowers. And they’re of the flowers you’ll normally see early in the spring.

    36. Instead of a chocolate bunny, how about one in Rice Krispies?

    Sure it’s a lot crunchier than the candy counterpart. Not sure if it’s hollow or filled with cream though.

    37. You’d be chicken to avoid this wrap.

    Not sure what this exactly supposed to be. But it’s nonetheless adorable to see.

    38. Care for some Easter egg cake pops in your garden?

    Each of these is covered in sprinkles or sugar. And they all fit in a planter of grass quite nicely.

    39. Take a bite out of these basket cookie cups.

    Each of these has candy eggs and icing grass. But they sure look quite tasty on any dessert platter.

    40. With spring, it’s best your Easter platter has these floral cupcakes.

    Each of these has pastel icing as well as flowers on it. I don’t think you can eat the flowers but they’re sure pretty.

    41. Wonder what’s in these Easter eggs.

    Okay, they’re cookies with chocolate eggs inside. And each one has a top covered in icing and a pretty design.

    42. Top your basket cake with a chocolate bunny.

    After all, what’s Easter without one of these trademark goodies. And atop a pink basket cake with eggs.

    43. A bread bunny makes a great bowl for spinach and artichoke dip.

    Funny, how the ears are baguettes. Love the cute little face. So sweet.

    44. Speaking of bunnies, can I interest you in a hopping snack tray?

    Well, it’s not an exact likeness of a bunny. But it’s made out of cheese, crackers, and pepperoni.

    45. Bask in the sugary goodness of these peeps cupcakes.

    Just remove the peep before you eat. Because peeps aren’t fit for human consumption.

    46. Nobody could resist this bento bunny.

Oh, look it’s holding a little carrot. So adorable you just want to eat it up.

47. All the peeps seem to feel at home in this patch.

Well, it’s a peep patch cake. Filled with those inedible bunny marshmallows along with icing carrots.

48. Each peep bunny has its own pudding cup.

It’s a variation on dirt pudding. However, in this case, take out the bunny and eat the dirt.

49. Perhaps you might want an Easter basket on top of a cake.

Yes, this may be professionally made. But you have to like the flowers and bunnies on it. So sweet.

50. Hope these butterfly cookies make you soar into the sky.

Each of these is wonderfully painted and decorated. Love these.

51. There’s something ducky in this stew.

Okay, it’s a little duckie floating on the soup. Don’t you want to hold it?

52. Hope you’ll be hopping like a bunny in a bucket full of carrots.

You can guess this cake is professionally made. But the bunny seems oh so happy in it.

53. Everyone would just love these cupcake flowers.

Consist of pink, orange, purple, and blue. Yet each is a picture. So lovely.

54. Any little bunny would crave for this Easter basket bento lunch.

It’s made out of a pita with 2 cheesy eggs. It’s an cheesy egg Easter basket sandwich.

55. The chicks call this Easter gingerbread house a home.

It’s richly decorated with 2 chicks at the door. Wouldn’t mind having this on a dessert platter.

56. Any bunny would be hopping mad for this bento lunch.

One depicts a child dressed as a bunny. Another depicts a carrot patch.

57. Hope you enjoy an egg salad Easter bunny.

Makes you awe by what some people can do with a few hardboiled eggs. While the eggs here are olives. Or are those grapes?

58. With these butterfly cookies, you can certainly spread your wings.

Each butterfly comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. All are in blue, pink, and green.

59. You’ll be chirping for these chick cupcakes.

These seem like they can come straight out of Foodarama. Still, so adorable.

60. Can I interest you in a fancy sheep?

Well, it’s a small sheep cake with chocolate icing. But you can’t resist that face of innocence.

61. For an Easter dinner on the grill, want a few bunnies on your hotdog?

Well, it’s a bento lunch. But the cheesy bunnies give it a nice Easter touch.

62. Wake up Easter morning to the smell of a sticky bun bun.

This little guy is covered with icing and is under a branch. So cute.

63. Serve your guests with some bunny bread.

Unlike the other bunny breads I’ve shown, these are decorated. Got to love the buttons and ears.

64. For healthy options, try this Easter egg fruit pizza.

This one is decked with strawberries, raspberries, black berries, and blueberries. It’s an Easter berry extravaganza.

65. For a fancy Easter dinner, may I suggest this peep cake for dessert?

These have peep chicks on top of flowers. Remove before eating since peeps are disgusting.

66. This cupcake contains an orange surprise.

So much that it gives new meaning to the word carrot cake. Kind of clever if you think about it.

67. You’ll find this bunny cake berry appealing.

Because it’s decorated with berries. But most prolifically, you’ll find strawberries on the ears.

68. When you crack open a chocolate egg, who knows what you’ll find.

Well, plenty of smaller eggs and flowers inside. But no chicks, surprisingly.

69. May your Easter gathering be right as rain with these cookies.

Indeed, these are professionally made. But they include chicks, butterflies, and flowers galore.

70. Maybe you might prefer your veggies in a patch of hummus.

Yes, this is supposed to be a garden patch. But it’ll make a perfect Easter appetizer.

71. On Easter, it helps if you keep your eggs in one basket.

I showed a similar Easter cake a couple years ago. But it had a different handle. Still, the eggs are pretty.

72. On these cookies you’ll find plenty of flowers.

Well, these are certainly fancy. Include several eggs and a bunny. So pretty.

73. On Easter, please don’t forget your sheep sticks.

These are pretzel sticks covered in marshmallows. And yes, they’re so cute as well as perfect for little lambs.

74. For a more sacred bent, you might want to go with these empty tomb donut treats.

For you can’t have Easter without a holy treat. Especially one without including a donut with an actual hole.

75. It’ll always spring with this flowery bento lunch.

You can see the flowers everywhere on this. But the purple one really stands out.

76. For a simple Easter treat, may I recommend bunny paw cookies?

Well, these don’t seem to take much effort. Just use icing on the cookies to make them resemble rabbit footprints.

77. This gingerbread bunny house comes with its own patch.

These have bunnies outside this lovey home. Love the flowers and carrots.

78. Perhaps a birdhouse on a stick might interest you.

These seem quite creative. Just put a peep on a graham cracker with chocolate shingles.

79. This Easter breakfast is perfect for anyone at the crack of dawn.

Contains an eggy chick in a pancake egg. And yes, it’ll melt your heart.

80. Grace your Easter with this stained glass cross cake.

Hey, it’s a Christian holiday. So I might as well include a cross somewhere.

A Slew of Indictments in Russiagate

On Friday, February 16, 2018, Special Counsel Robert Mueller filed an indictment formally accusing 13 Russian nationals and 3 companies of interfering in the 2016 Election. According to a 37-page document he released, Russian operatives working for the St. Petersburg-based Internet Research Agency used several social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Some accounts included ones like “Woke Blacks” and “Blacktivists” to urge Americans to either vote for third party candidates or sit out of the election entirely. This indictment illustrates the lengths a Russian troll farm went to inflame racial tensions through operating several social accounts intended to discourage African Americans from voting in the election. In accounts targeting Trump supporters, operatives reputedly stoked voter fraud fears with already debunked claims in the lead-up to the presidential election. Such claims included an allegation that ineligible votes helped Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton in the Florida primary and that she stole the Iowa Caucus. As Vox’s Jennifer Williams explains, these indictments serves as the “federal government’s most detailed public description of just how far some Russians were willing to go to help Trump win the presidency — and of the kinds of tactics they could use to meddle in this fall’s midterm elections as well.”

The indictment also explicitly states that the Russians were posing as Americans while communicating with “unwitting” Trump campaign members. Thus, so far, we can’t determine that anyone in the Trump campaign knowingly colluded with the Russians indicted. Nor can we say that the Russian government or Vladimir Putin directed, funded, or carried out this operation. Nor does it say the interference had any effect on the 2016 Election. In a way, the of evidence pertaining to Russian collusion bolsters core arguments Donald Trump and his cronies have made for months denying any Russian collusion or meddling during 2016.

Nevertheless, the indictment doesn’t necessarily clear Donald Trump from any Russian shenanigans whatsoever. For it outlines a vast conspiracy by Russian operatives to help Trump win the election, involving thousands of fake social media accounts and numerous staged pro-Trump rallies in multiple states across the country. In fact, the document’s sheer magnitude and acute attention to detail of the 13 Russians and 3 companies indicted shows just how much investigative muscle the Mueller probe really has. So if there’s anything to find on Trump and his associates, Mueller can do it.

Unfortunately, none of the 13 Russians and 3 companies will probably never see an American courtroom. But the indictment will stand so far as the federal government’s most detailed public description of just how far some Russians were willing to go to help Donald Trump win the presidency. In addition, it shows the kinds of tactics they could use to meddle in this fall’s midterm elections as well. Robert Mueller’s 13 Russian indictments makes it difficult to deny Russian involvement in our election even if Donald Trump and his allies will still deny collusion. To be found guilty of collusion or conspiracy to interfere in our elections requires “knowledge” and “intent.” So the term “unwittingly” lets Trump and his cronies off the hook for now. However, the indictment makes it much more difficult for Trump to fire Mueller or Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein without risking another nail in any “obstruction of justice” charge. Besides, the indictment pretty much shows that these Russians wanted to get Trump elected from the very start as well as worked hard to get him elected. And it indicates that people close to Trump might’ve assisted in the process. Given the polarized political environment, Mueller has good reasons to avoid contentious allegations now. Yet, that didn’t prevent him from unsealing a guilty plea by a “witting” American co-conspirator on the same day. So there’s more behind this Russian indictment than an innocent mistake.

To complicate matters further, on Monday, February 19, 2018, Robert Mueller released an indictment targeting Alex van der Zwaan, a Dutch attorney based in London, for lying to the FBI. van der Zwaan’s connection to the Russian case runs through former deputy Trump campaign chair Rick Gates who Mueller indicted in October on charges of money laundering and illegal lobbying. Though you wouldn’t know much about that since his boss Paul Manafort was indicted on the same thing. Despite that the connection mainly deals with an internal Ukranian political dispute from more than a decade ago, it nonetheless state some interesting things about the Russian investigation.

In the early 2010s, van der Zwaan worked in the London office of the corporate law firm Skadden Arps, while his worked focused on the former Soviet Union. At the same time, Manafort and Gates were working for Ukranian President Viktor Yanukovych, a Kremlin-backed leader with dubious democratic credentials. He was in a power struggle with another prominent Ukranian politician, which he decided to solve by jailing her in the fall of 2011. Manafort and Gates’s job was to run cover for this clearly undemocratic prosecution. So they retained a team from Skadden Arps which included van der Zwaan to create a “report” conveniently concluding that there was no political motive for locking her up (except there was). Unsurprisingly, this was a huge deal in Ukraine but obscure everywhere else. Manafort and Gates continued to work for Yanukovych until the spring of 2016. van der Zwaan moved on to other things like marrying Ukranian-Russian billionaire’s daughter last summer.

But the van der Zwaan honeymoon wouldn’t be a happy one thanks to Bob Mueller’s probe. While looking into Manafort and Gates’s Kremlin ties, Mueller’s team started investigating the Skadden Arps report. As the indictment recalls, FBI agents personally questioned the Dutch attorney in November 2017 about his communications with Gates and an unidentified Person A. van der Zwaan told them that he last interacted with Gates in August 2016 via an “innocuous text message” and that he hadn’t spoken to Person A since 2014. As the indictment indicates, this is a lie for van der Zwaan was secretly communicating with Gates and Person A on the Skadden report. Because, the indictment reveals that, “In or about September 2016, he spoke with both Gates and Person A regarding the Report, and surreptitiously recorded the call.” Also, it alleges that van der Zwaan deleted an e-mail between himself and Person A sent around the same time as those conversations. Though he told the FBI that he “did not know” where the email was.
So what does this have to do with the Trump campaign? Well, in August 2016, Paul Manafort resigned as Donald Trump’s campaign manager. Mostly because of his ties to Yanukovych, particularly on an alleged off-the-books payment. Yet, Gates hung on the Trump team. This was weeks before the conversation between Gates, Person A, and van der Zwaan. If Gates and the Dutch attorney were discussing the Skadden Arps report in September 2016, and van der Zwaan felt the need to lie to the FBI about it, it suggests that there may have been something criminal about the report’s production. Or at least something whose release would be politically damaging. At any rate, it helped Mueller build a case strong enough that Gates struck a plea deal with him and would testify against Manafort. As Manafort’s longtime assistant, Gates may well have damaging info on his former boss, who’s one of the most pivotal players in the whole Trump-Russia scandal. It’s likely that van der Zwaan might be the first domino in a chain of events that could lead to a major breakthrough like a Manafort conviction or plea deal. But for now we don’t know where the Manafort case will play out. But getting van der Zwaan to get Gates to get Manafort. From there, Mueller might get vital information on Trump’s real Russian ties.

Still, keep in mind that Paul Manafort left his cushy job as the Kremlin’s favorite expat political consultant in Ukraine to run Donald Trump’s campaign. Soon after, Moscow-backed hackers transmitted thousands of stolen Democratic Party emails to Wikileaks, whose release was artfully timed to make trouble for Trump’s Democratic opponents. These became the basis of Trump campaign rhetoric in the months before Election Day in 2016. Some emerging conventional wisdom in Washington remains that there’s little to believe Mueller’s ongoing probe will prove much of interest. But to brush off any notion of high-level cooperation between Trumpworld and the Russians needs a much greater suspension of disbelief than assuming Trump collusion with Russia. You have to dismiss that no one from Moscow thought to consult with Manafort about how to help a pro-Russia win an election in the United States. Despite that Manafort received millions of dollars for his expertise to help pro-Russia candidates win elections in Ukraine. You have to think Donald Trump Jr. didn’t discuss collaborating with Russians on obtaining and disseminating anti-Hillary Clinton dirt. Except that Trump Jr. was both in touch with Wikileaks and openly enthusiastic about the idea and met with Russians on this very topic. You’d have to think that Trump’s specific and public call for Putin to hack Clinton’s emails was completely random. Despite that Trump didn’t deliver it that way. Trump-Russia skeptics might assume a series of bizarre coincidences complete with a massive cover-up for no particular reason. Yet, let’s state the obvious. Donald Trump has gone to extraordinary lengths during his time in office trying to stymie or discredit rigorous investigation into the Russia matter. Why? The most likely explanation is that he’s guilty of serious Russian-related wrongdoing. Sure many might think he’s a moron or he’s guilty of some other serious shenanigans that he fears the investigation will uncover. But it’s most likely that things are exactly as they seem is that Trump’s acting guilty because he’s guilty.

The political media in the United States is far too willing to paint a picture of Donald Trump as an idiot since his knowledge of government is severely lacking to pass an 8th grade civics test, let alone lead the country. However, everything in Trump’s record suggests a cunning, ruthless, and, in many ways insightful man. The means he used to get himself out of bankruptcy and make his big Atlantic City comeback were downright dishonest and shady but also quite clever. How he reinvented himself as an asset-brand licensor was incredibly successful, as was his career as a reality TV host. For years, he’s used lawyer Michael Cohen and a relationship with a major tabloid conglomerate to keep his affairs hushed up and manipulate the public’s perception of him. Finally, he entered the 2016 GOP primary with little fundraising, no political experience, and minimal organization but wiped the floor with everyone. Though not an evil genius or criminal mastermind by any stretch, when Trump keeps doing something, it’s probably for a reason. Still, he has more in common with the likes of Count Olaf or Scar than Forrest Gump. Scar may know how to manipulate the hyenas into carrying out his plot to take over the pride lands. But once he’s king at Pride Rock, his mismanagement causes everything to go to hell. Count Olaf may never fool the Baudelaire children, but he can successfully deceive almost every adult in their lives and evade justice so he could torment the kids another day. Trump may not know how to govern, but he certainly knows how to dupe, I mean convince people into voting for him.

It is more likely than not that some Trump cronies coordinated with some elements of political strategy with the Russian pro-Trump information operation with Trump’s tacit or explicit approval. In exchange, they signaled openness to Russia-friendly policy changes with Russia. The reasons are the following:

  • Many of the Russian government’s political interventions are clumsy and inept. But the 2016 Wikileaks email drops were well-executed and well-timed to step on 2 major stories like the Democratic National Convention and the Access Hollywood tape. Maybe the Russians got lucky. Or that expert American operatives helped them, which is far more plausible.
  • Paul Manafort’s expertise is in American and foreign electioneering. He helped Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush win presidential elections. After that, he moved into lobbying and took his political skills abroad. He spent a decade giving political advice to a Russian proxy party in Ukraine. So it’s not like the Russians would have no idea who to ask, or that no one on the Trump team was comfortable with the idea of working with Russia.
  • Due to Donald Trump Jr.’s infamous, “if it’s what you say I love it” email, Trump’s own son and son-in-law were eager to collaborate with the Russian government in the 2016 election.
  • During the transition, Trump’s National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was very eager to conduct talks with Moscow about warming relations. Jared Kushner also tried to create some kind of secure backchannel line of communication to Moscow that would be impenetrable to American intelligence.
  • Donald Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey was exceptionally risky. After that backfired, he took repeated stabs leaning on Attorney General Jeff Sessions and/or Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein to resign, which would give him direct control over Mueller. For God’s sake, Trump appeared on NBC News explaining how he improperly used his powers to remove the FBI director in order to shield his cronies from criminal scrutiny.
  • Donald Trump’s allies on the House Intelligence Committee and the Senate Judiciary Committee have tried to help him with various attacks on the FBI, the Justice Department, and the whole idea of an inquiry rather than by constructing some plausible alternative narrative explaining all the weird shit referenced above. Remember Devin Nunes had to recuse himself for being too chummy with the Trump White House? Or how Dianne Feinstein released testimony despite Republican senators’ objections?
  • Donald Trump wanted to fire Robert Mueller as early as last summer.

Despite Trumpworld’s reputation for leaks that’s led to amazing pieces of journalism, Donald Trump is very good at keeping secrets. We’ve never found out what’s in the guy’s tax returns or how the decision was made that whatever is on them is more damning of Trump’s shady behavior. Actually despite calling himself a billionaire, we’re not even sure how much money Trump makes. We don’t know why he fired Flynn or whether he knew about staffer Rob Porter’s domestic abuse allegations. We don’t know why Trump handed some choice Israeli intelligence to the Russian foreign minister. Trump is the least transparent candidate of all time and is running one of the least transparent administrations on record. Hell, there’s plenty of dissembling and fabrication about whether Trump is golfing on any giving weekend. One result of unprecedented secrecy is an unprecedented volume of disclosures. But even that doesn’t mean we have an unprecedented level of insight into what’s going one with Trump or his operation. Especially since congressional Republicans’ totally abdicated Congress’s normal oversight functions, Mueller’s inquiry is essentially our only lens into some very murky terrain.

But perhaps this will prove wrong and the Mueller investigation will uncover nothing noteworthy save crimes committed by Flynn along with Manafort and Gates, and a handful of lesser players while exposing Donald Trump and his entire senior staff as habitual liars of criminal and national security importance. Oh wait, Mueller’s already accomplished that but he’s far from finished. Nonetheless, whether or not Trump explicitly or tacitly agreed, he entered office with a pro-Russia foreign policy agenda. If not, then he wouldn’t have made Flynn his National Security Adviser or Rex Tillerson his Secretary of State. Only the investigation appears to have thwarted this, pushing Trump to maintain broad continuity with prior American foreign policy. Still, the mere suspicion of illicit collaboration between the Trump campaign’s highest-ranking members and the Russian pro-Trump information operation is well-founded. The ongoing investigation has steadily revealed considerable evidence. There’s no reason for anyone to preemptively exonerate Trump, when suspicion’s been validated at every turn.