A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Count Olaf’s Plea”


The Baudelaires are shocked that they’ve been abandoned on the coastal shelf that night with a crazy villain, a friendly snake, and an unconscious pregnant woman on a pile of books. Though they start making plans for living there, Klaus points out they’ll be covered in a Decision Day tide. So they consider to make a boat for themselves as the tide rises for Kit managed it. But that doesn’t mean it would work for them. Yet, as they try to plan a way to get Kit down from her raft of books, a caged Count Olaf pipes up that he has a plan. However, he’s not going to tell them unless the kids let him out. Though he gives hints like trying to oust Ishmael from his “Olaf-land,” stealing the outrigger, and threatening islanders with the dreaded Medusoid Mycelium. He also tells the children to check what fell out of the facilitator’s sleeve which is found to be an apple core, proving that he’s hiding things and sneaking off to the arboretum.


The song I went with here is “The Court of Miracles” from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame where Phoebus and Quasimodo find themselves ambushed by Romani for intruding their hideaway. Despite that the two men came to warn Esmeralda and her people that Frollo knows where they’re hiding and plans to attack at dawn with a thousand men. However, Frollo just follows the two and arrests them right there since he just let it slip to Quasimodo that he knows so he’d feel compelled to lead him to it. The song consists of Clopin singing on how he plans to kill Phoebus and Quasimodo for simply being there. Thank God, Esmeralda convinces them that they’re friends for a time.


“Count Olaf’s Plea”

Sung by Count Olaf

Count Olaf:
I’ve got a plan to dupe that old piece of shit
Just let me out of this prison
I’ll share it with you
This beach will be flooded on Decision Day
And well, you’re screwed
Ishmael’s thrown you out
Kit’s laid on the stack
And you can’t get out
So you might as well
Stick out with me for awhile
Of course, I’m trying to trick you orphans!
That’s the way of the world nowadays, kids
We all got our schemes and secrets
With which we use on who we try to outwit

Ishmael outwitted me, put me in this cage
But I can outsmart him and his island folks
If you let me out, I can be king of Olaf-Land
And you three can serve me as my new henchfolk
So we agree?

Klaus: No way. We just want to be safe.

Count Olaf:
Nowhere in the world’s safe

That idiot judges what’s on the shore

Yes, we all know

Count Olaf:
Come on, kids!

You’re an ass!

Count Olaf:
So what?


Count Olaf:
Ishmael is equally treacherous
Just look what fell out of his sleeve
Now you’ll see what I mean


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