Realizing that they’re stuck at the Caligari Carnival, the Baudelaires try to make the best of things and put on some disguises since they don’t have much choice. So they go through Count Olaf’s trunk to find what’s there. And let’s just say, they have plenty of stuff to work with. They find part of a brass reading lamp that Count Olaf dropped from a window near Klaus, a bag from the “In” Boutique, pantyhose covered in sawdust from Paltryville, Violet’s old wedding veil, and plenty they haven’t seen before. So they have plenty of options with clown and judge out. Though the clothes are too big. Yet, when Violet comments on how freakish she’d look in these clothes, Klaus gets the idea of them to dress up as freaks. Violet and Klaus would dress as a pair of co-joined twins of different genders which goes against everything we know about biology. Because co-joined twins are identical twins who failed to split before coming out of the birth canal. Sunny would disguise herself as wolf/child hybrid, Chabo the Wolf Baby. Yes, that’s a bestiality reference in a children’s book. Though to be fair, there’s also one in Harry Potter pertaining to Dumbledore’s brother getting cited for improper charms on a goat.

I used Stealers Wheel’s “Stuck in the Middle with You” which is famously used in the torture scene from Reservoir Dogs. The original version tells of a dismissive tale of a music industry cocktail party written and performed as a pastiche to Bob Dylan. And its music video features a dinner scene featuring a clown trying to eat a plastic chicken. In this version, I have the Baudelaires going through Count Olaf’s trunk for disguise ideas.

“Stuck at Caligari Carnival”

Sung by Violet and Klaus Baudelaire

Violet:
Well, we came in with Count Olaf tonight
And we’re clear that nothing is right
If we leave, we’ll just be going nowhere
There dangers and that we’re accused murderers
When we tell the truth, no adult thinks we’re right
Here we are, stuck at Caligari Carnival

Yes, we’re stuck in Caligari Carnival
And I wonder what Lulu does with that ball
Can we help us with the questions we have?
But we must avoid Count Olaf if we can
So we’re all staying but where to spend the night?
Here we are, stuck at Caligari Carnival

Well, perhaps we can use some stuff
Back inside Count Olaf’s holed up trunk
See he’s got a lot of costumes
So we can put disguises for Lulu to see, see

Klaus:
Here’s some piece from Monty’s brass lamp
Guess this is Esme’s In Boutique shopping bag
Those sawdust hose must be from Paltryville
Hey, is that Violet’s old wedding veil?
So many disguises but so little time
Here we are stuck in Caligari Carnival

So we can’t go as a clown or judge
And it’s clear that all these clothes are too big
But if we all come off as freakish so
Maybe we should all dress up as freaks, freaks

Well, I know that freak shows aren’t quite right
But what choice do we have here tonight?
Hey, Vi, how we share this pair of pants
And we both can share a shirt if perchance
Take this fake beard, Sunny, we’ll blend in as freaks
Here we are stuck at Caligari Carnival

Both:
Yes, we’re stuck at Caligari Carnival
Stuck at Caligari Carnival
Here we are, stuck at Caligari Carnival