A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “When You’re Good to Lulu”


While she’s a considerably more benevolent and heroic character in the TV show on Netflix, Madame Lulu is far more ambiguous in the books. For one, her motto is “Everyone gets what they want” regardless on whether she should. Secondly, Count Olaf often visited her whenever he needed to know where the Baudelaires where at any given moment in exchange for gifts or favors.  Since he believed she could tell him through psychic means. Now Count Olaf and his gang have many questions for the carnival fortune teller like where the Baudelaires are, if one of their parents survived, and the Snicket File’s whereabouts. But Madame Lulu tells them that they’d have to wait until sunrise since the crystal ball has certain rules. In exchange, she’s worried that Caligari Carnival may close since it doesn’t attract many visitors being a decrepit amusment place in the middle of nowhere. So Olaf promises her to give her something that could give the paying customers she needs. Also, Lulu doesn’t seem thrilled with the idea that Esme is the Count’s girlfriend. Nor is Esme since the fortune teller acts kind of flirty with her Olaf.


The song I went with for Madame Lulu’s introduction is “When You’re Good to Mama” from Chicago. In the original version,  prison Matron Mama Morton sings how she’ll do favors for her female charges in her clink if they’ll do stuff for her in return. Particularly, pay her money to use certain services and have certain amenities.  In this version, I have Madame Lulu basically sing the same thing for I barely change the words save her name.


“When You’re Good to Lulu”

Sung by Olivia Caliban (as Madame Lulu)

Ladies and gentlemen
The Keeper of the Keys, the Countess of the Caligari Carnival
The Mistress of the Mystical
Fortuneteller Madame Lulu

Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They’ll tell you I’m the biggest mutha hen
I love them all and all of them love me
Because the system works, the system called reciprocity

Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When you’re good to Lulu
Lulu’s good to you

There’s a lot of favors
I’m prepared to do
You do one for Lulu
She’ll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat
And that’s the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I’ve got to give

Don’t you know that this hand
Washes that one too?
When you’re good to Lulu
Lulu’s good to you

If you want my gravy
Pepper my Ragu
Spice it up for Lulu
She’ll get hot for you

When they pass that basket
Folks contribute too
You put in for Lulu
She’ll put out for you

The folks a top the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder kid
And I’ll boost you up yours

Let’s all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you’re strokin’ Lulu
Lulu’s strokin’ you

So what’s the one conclusion?
I can bring this number to
When you’re good to Lulu
Lulu’s good to you

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