As Violet helps Hector fix the Self-Sustaining Hot Air Mobile Home, Klaus looks into Hector’s secret library to find a way to get Jacques Snicket off. Since it’s obvious that Jacques isn’t Count Olaf. But since the adults seem to identify people based on two defining features like a unibrow and an eye ankle tattoo, Jacques is basically condemned to a most burning and painful death at the stake in the morning. So not only will V.F.D. burn an innocent man, they’re going to make the world think that Count Olaf is dead, which won’t bode well for the Baudelaires. Especially when the real Count Olaf comes around since he won’t ever worry about being caught again. Apparently, Klaus had fun reading the rule books since many of them are contradictory. But he did find one in which the condemned could make a speech before their execution as well as read up on mob psychology to get the villagers into a frenzy. If only the adults would listen.

The song I chose for him is “Shipoopi” from The Music Man. Sung by Harold Hill’s friend Marcellus Washburn (the only guy who knows the truth about him), the original version is about finding love with a term Meredith Willson invented himself. Still, this occurs at the same time Harold Hill is wooing Marian the Librarian. Anyway, this version has Klaus explain what he found about the V.F.D. rules and mob psychology.

 

“Persuasion”

Sung by Klaus Baudelaire

Klaus:
V.F. D. Rule #2,493
Gives the condemned some leeway.
To address the crowd and make a last-minute speech
Before he’s burned at the stake.

But in case a speech won’t be allowed,
There’s still a way to sway the crowd!
And in mob psychology, that is
Persuasion! Persuasion! Persuasion! Persuasion!

To save Jacques Snicket yet.

Persuasion!
Persuasion!
Persuasion!

Violet:
To call his innocence.

Klaus:
Make sure a few are nice and scattered,
Make sure that only their voices matter.
Soon the all the rest assembled,
Will soon go along with
What they’re yelling.

Both:
Do re me fa so la si
Do si la sol fa mi re do

Klaus:
Have the doubters voice their opinions,
The other villagers won’t know what hit em’
Have them say Jacques innocent,
The Elders will have no choice but to cave in.

Both:
Do re me fa sol la si
Do si do

Klaus:
Now Jacques isn’t Count Olaf
As we four could see
But groupthink we can set them off
So he can walk out free

Have the doubters voice their opinions,
The other villagers won’t know what hit em’
Have them say Jacques innocent,
The Elders will have no choice but to cave in.

Both:
Do re me fa sol la si
Do si do

Both:
Persuasion, Persuasion, Persuasion
To save Jacques Snicket yet.
Persuasion, Persuasion, Persuasion
To call his innocence

Persuasion, Persuasion, Persuasion
To save Jacques Snicket yet.
Persuasion, Persuasion, Persuasion
To call his innocence, Persuasion