A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Curdled Cave and Leeches”

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The Baudelaires reach the cave to find Aunt Josephine who’s pleased to see the kids and that they managed to figure out her message to find her. Though what would’ve been more impressive would’ve been her calling the cops on Count Olaf when he forced her to hand over the children in the first place. But no, she had to write a suicide note giving Olaf what he wanted, jumping out of the wide window, and go hide out in Curdled Cave expecting the orphans to figure out where she was as well as bring food and their belongings. Anyway, the Baudelaires persuade her to come with them because they don’t want to be in Count Olaf’s care ever again and they need an adult to vouch for them to Mr. Poe. Because Mr. Poe doesn’t listen to these kids. Aunt Josephine refuses because she’s complete coward who’s totally failed as a guardian by this point. However, Klaus gets her to change her mind by explaining how the cave is for sale and that realtors will come to look at it. On the return trip, leeches start attacking the boat because Aunt Josephine just had to eat a banana. Now Violet has to use boat parts, a hairnet, and a magnifying glass to create a signal to attract a rescue.

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The song I chose for these events is Cream’s “Sunshine of Your Love.” The original version is just a run of the mill song about sex or love depending on who listens to it. Anyway, like a lot of Cream songs such as “Badge,” the lyrics aren’t usually the main purpose. Yet, in this version I have the Baudelaires convince Aunt Josephine to leave Curdled Cave and their boat being infiltrated by the infamous Lachrymose leeches.

 

“Curdled Cave and Leeches”

Violet:
We need to get out
We came all over here to find you
You need to come to town
For if you don’t we’re through

You can’t go up and hide
You can’t just run off and live in a cave

Aunt Josephine:
Olaf had me write that note
Or he would’ve killed me
And I was scared to use the phone

Violet:
Well, we’ve been afraid
All day we’ve been terrified
But we still pressed on
Cause we know Olaf wants our hides

Klaus:
Curdled Cave’s now for sale
Stay longer and you’ll soon face realtors

Aunt Josephine:
Okay, now you’ve got me
Yes, I will go with you
Don’t want to face no RE/MAX guy

Violet:
The leeches are out
They’re tearing our boat to bits
But we haven’t had a bite
So how can you explain this?

Aunt Josephine:
Pardon me, but I just ate
I had a banana before you found me

Violet:
Don’t have time to argue!
I’m trying to save us!
Please give me your hairnet!
To send out a signal
Take glass and moonlight for a fire

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