They Made a Show Out of This? Stupid Reality TV Shows: Part 5 – Gay, Straight, or Taken? to Megan Wants a Millionaire

Now we’re halfway through with my series on reality show disasters. But whether we see it as a groundbreaking form of entertainment or a steaming pile of garbage as I do, you can’t deny it has made an impact on our culture. Plenty of reality TV stars have become celebrities who’ve graced magazine covers. Take for example Kim Kardashian. Sure her dad was an attorney for O.J. Simpson. But until Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you’ve probably never heard of her. And now her name is everywhere like she’s famous for being famous. Seriously, what has she done to warrant her fame? Nothing! However, she is one of the few celebrities in reality TV whose name will live forever even when her show gets cancelled. Many reality TV show contestants are often seen as “Z-List celebrities” who’ve done nothing much to warrant their 15 minutes of fame but have used it nevertheless. And yes, many get lampooned for it, too. But anyway, enough with the celebrity stuff, and let’s go on with another installment of awful reality show TV has ever aired.

41. Gay, Straight, or Taken?


In Lifetime’s Gay, Straight, or Taken? a woman goes on a date with 3 guys and has to decide which one is gay, which one has a girlfriend, and which guy is straight and available. If she’s wrong, she’ll certainly be humiliated in the fact she can’t find a man.

Station: Lifetime

Premise: A female contestant goes on a group date with 3 men and then has to decide which one of them is gay, which one is in a relationship with a woman, and which one is straight and available.

Why It’s Stupid: Brought to you by the network for women who love men but hate women, this show basically served to humiliate women like “ha, ha, you’ll never find a man and even when you do, he’ll probably be gay, ha, ha.” Also, you have to feel bad for the gay boyfriend and the girlfriend of a couple of the guys who’s basically going out with another woman on television.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes.


42. Millionaire Matchmaker


In Millionaire Matchmaker, a woman finds compatible dates for rich people. However, her rules are said to be sexist, outdated, and horrible, and tends to treat people like shit.

Station: Bravo

Premise: Follows Patty Stanger, owner of Beverly Hills based, “Millionaire’s Club” dating service where she matches single, wealthy people with closely compatible dates.

Why It’s Stupid: According to Beamly, she’s a monster who rules her dating service with an iron fist, throwing around insults and barking orders at anyone who will listen. Her rules for love are said to be outdated, sexist, and all around horrible. It’s said to be a trainwreck.

Did it Get Canceled?: No, and it’s been on the air since 2008.


43. Momma’s Boys


In Momma’s Boys, 32 single women live in a mansion with 3 bachelors who they’re competing for and their mothers. And the women have to complete a series of tasks, too. I know what you’re thinking.

Station: NBC

Premise: 3 bachelors live in a house with 32 single women, all vying for their affection. The guys also bring their mothers who do their best to influence their son’s decisions. Throughout the series, the female contestants participate in competitions and are selected by the men for dates, with some of the contestants being eliminated at various intervals. Each woman receives a text message of “yes” if any of the men want to keep her in contention or “no” if none of them want to keep her in contention. If the men are undecided, they send a text message for the woman to meet them at the house’s swimming pool, where the men have an additional opportunity to talk to her before deciding whether she should stay or go.

Why It’s Stupid: If I wanted to see a show about some guy’s mom doing her best to influence her son’s decisions, I’d rather watch The Manchurian Candidate. Also, some of the women had been models for Playboy and Penthouse.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes.


44. More to Love


More to Love was a show on Fox about a guy looking for love among a group of plus sized women. And he ended up choosing the skinniest one. Still, I’m sure there are plenty of men who’d go for these women since they’re all extraordinarily gorgeous.

Station: Fox

Premise: It’s like The Bachelor but the contestants are plus-sized women with the single guy promising them that he won’t judge them by their size.

Why It’s Stupid: Well, despite his promise ring not to judge the ladies by their size, he proceeded to choose the skinniest one of the bunch as the winner. Obviously. Way to go with hurting women’s self-esteem. Also, those women seemed to look quite unrealistically gorgeous, plus-sized or not.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes.


45. Mr. Personality


I have to admit, though dating a guy in a creepy mask might seem awkward, it kind of makes a great Halloween costume. It also shares the irony of it being hosted by Monica Lewinsky. You read that right.

Station: Fox

Premise: It’s like The Bachelorette with one woman having to choose among 20 suitors. But they all wear creepy gray luchador masks the entire time so she’d judge them based on their personality alone.

Why It’s Stupid: For one, this show tends to infer that women are notorious for judging men only by their looks (and not the other way around). Was also hosted by Monica Lewinsky, yes, that Monica Lewinsky. Not to mention, why the hell was there no Ms. Personality?

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes.


46. Parental Control


Parental Control is the MTV show in which parents try to get their kid to break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend they don’t like and set them up with someone knew. Or something that rich Victorian parents did all the time by threatening to take their kids’ inheritance away from them.

Station: MTV

Premise: Parents who hate their kid’s current squeeze interview and set them up with 2 other options. Kid dates those people and then has to decide whether to keep their current relationship, stay single, or choose one of the 2 new options.

Why It’s Stupid: It’s one thing for parents not to like who their kids might be dating. And sometimes there might be good reasons for it. But parents trying to control their kids’ love lives on reality television? That just sounds like torture. This is especially since 90% of the time the kid decided to stay in their current relationship.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes, but it ran 5 years.


47. Playing It Straight


Playing It Straight is a show in which a woman spends time on a ranch which 14 different men she has to distinguish between which ones were gay and which were straight. It’s built on the idea that a woman can’t find a guy because the nicer ones are gay. Yet, she chose the straight one anyway.

Station: Fox

Premise: It’s like The Bachelorette. One woman dates 14 bachelors. However, some of these guys are gay. And each week she eliminates guys she doesn’t have a connection with as well as guys she thinks are gay. At the end, if the guy she picks is straight, they split the prize. If a gay guy is picked, he gets all the prize money and the woman receives nothing.

Why It’s Stupid: Well, this is playing on the idea that women can’t find a nice guy because they’re gay. Nevertheless, the woman went with a straight guy in the end.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes.


48. Room Raiders


You have to hand it to MTV to make a show around privacy invasion of potential dates. Now that’s just messed up, if not, then probably illegal. Yet, it went on for 5 years.

Station: MTV

Premise: A contestant must search the contents of their 3 suitors’ bedrooms and then choose which one to date based solely on said contents.

Why It’s Stupid: Not only is this gross and a total invasion of privacy (as well as a form of stalking which is illegal), it’s bound to make any date very awkward. It’s bad enough to get into your significant other’s stuff. But raiding the bedroom of a total stranger you’re thinking of dating, that’s messed up.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes, but it ran 5 years.


49. 16 and Pregnant


Look, teen pregnancy is a terrible problem in this country that shouldn’t be encouraged. But a show like 16 and Pregnant tends to glamorize it. No, kids, you don’t want to have a baby as a teenager. This show makes me want to throw up.

Station: MTV

Premise: Follows the stories of pregnant teenage girls in high school dealing with the hardships of their pregnancies.

Why It’s Stupid: To be fair, it’s said to that the show has generate a 4.3% in teen births. However, I’m sure the possibility of getting knocked up and being offered money and fame is really preventing teenagers from unprotected sex (sarcasm). And it really doesn’t match the reality that most real teen mothers go through like poverty, lack of career options, and domestic instability. Oh, and the fact their children may end up just like them. Same goes for Teen Mom.

Did it Get Canceled?: No, it’s still on.


50. Megan Wants a Millionaire


In Megan Wants a Millionaire, a bunch of rich guys compete to become Megan Hauseman’s sugar daddy. Too bad one of these guys was suspected for killing his wife.

Station: Vh1

Premise: A bunch of rich guys with a net worth of $1 million vie to be Megan Hauseman’s sugar daddy.

Why It’s Stupid: For one, this woman is an obvious gold digger aspiring to become a trophy wife, which doesn’t set a great example for girls to aspire to. Second, it was suspended after airing its third episode in 2009 when it was announced that contestant Ryan Jenkins was being sought by police for questioning for the connection to the murder of his wife, swimsuit model Jessica Fiore. A few days and an arrest warrant later, he was found dead in British Columbia, having hanged himself. The series was canceled the next day.

Did it Get Canceled?: Yes, and at quick notice, too.

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