Monthly Archives: May 2016

Capture the Magic of Disney with These Wonderful Craft Projects

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

Pinocchio-facts

While some Disney fans buy merchandise to own a piece of the Disney magic, there are some who make their own. In Disney, you find a lot of people doing crafts. The Good Fairies from Sleeping Beauty make a dress for Aurora’s 16th birthday even though Flora and Merrywether can’t agree on the color. You have Gepetto who makes Pinocchio out of wood before the Blue Fairy gives him life and a chance to become a real boy. Then there’s Cinderella and the mice who touch up a dress that her stepsisters later tear apart right before it’s time for a ball. I may not think that Cinderella is one of the best Disney princesses since she had almost everything handed to her. However, you have to admit that she at least did something to achieve what she wanted, even if it was to go to a party. Since Disney is very popular as a brand all over the world, I didn’t have much trouble finding craft projects. Yet, whether they’re licensed by Disney is anyone’s guess. Nevertheless, you’ll find all kinds of Disney craft projects on Pinterest whether they be for decoration, parties, or what else. So for your reading pleasure, here are some magical craft projects from Disney. Just not the kind of magic you see in Disney movies.

 

  1. No poor unfortunate soul shall go without this clay Ursula seashell pendant.
This is where Ursula stored Ariel's voice and used it to get Eric to dump her while disguised as Vanessa. It later broke.

This is where Ursula stored Ariel’s voice and used it to get Eric to dump her while disguised as Vanessa. It later broke.

2. This wreath will let guests know that monsters are always welcome in your home.

This is from Monsters Inc. a movie where monsters scare kids from their closet doors at night. Because it's their job.

This is from Monsters Inc. a movie where monsters scare kids from their closet doors at night. Because it’s their job.

3. This Cinderella wreath will be perfect for any ball.

Well, that's cute. Of course, Cinderella isn't one of my favorite Disney movies. But this is well done.

Well, that’s cute. Of course, Cinderella isn’t one of my favorite Disney movies. But this is well done.

4. Let it all go with this crocheted Elsa cap.

Yes, I know it's from Frozen. But it's adorable. And I'm sure young girls would like it. Also, Elsa's braid could be used as a scarf.

Yes, I know it’s from Frozen. But it’s adorable. And I’m sure young girls would like it. Also, Elsa’s braid could be used as a scarf.

5. If you liked Up, then you’ll enjoy hanging this wreath on your door.

This one is of Carl's house with balloons stringed to it. However, the balloons aren't blown here. But it's cute.

This one is of Carl’s house with balloons stringed to it. However, the balloons aren’t blown here. But it’s cute.

6. Those who’ve had their pennies pressed at the Disney parks might want to use them for this bracelet.

There's a machine at the Disney parks that all you to have your pennies pressed to make these. I haven't used it when I was at Disney World though.

There’s a machine at the Disney parks that all you to have your pennies pressed to make what’s on this bracelet. I haven’t used it when I was at Disney World though.

7. This Eeyore wreath bids you welcome.

Eeyore is a fairly popular character in Winnie the Pooh. Sure he's depressed but he can occasionally be funny and adorable.

Eeyore is a fairly popular character in Winnie the Pooh. Sure he’s depressed but he can occasionally be funny and adorable.

8. This crocheted Winnie the Pooh backpack looks as sweet as honey.

After all, who can't resist this? It's so adorable for all ages. And in Pooh's colors, too.

After all, who can’t resist this? It’s so adorable for all ages. And in Pooh’s colors, too.

9. How about Cinderella’s castle on a panel?

Cindrella's castle is in Magic Kingdom and is used for the Disney logo. You see it a lot in silhouette.

Cindrella’s castle is in Magic Kingdom and is used for the Disney logo. You see it a lot in silhouette.

10. This felt Up hanging took two samplers.

Well, I don't think the house was in that color. But it's certainly in the spirit of it.

Well, I don’t think the house was in that color. But it’s certainly in the spirit of it.

11. Keep your money safe in this Mike Wazowski change purse.

Wonder if there's a Sully purse to go along with this. Then again, like the horns.

Wonder if there’s a Sully purse to go along with this. Then again, like the horns.

12. The Wilderness Explorer in your life will sure enjoy these badge pins.

Yes, these are the badges Russell was wearing from Up on his sash. Still, love these.

Yes, these are the badges Russell was wearing from Up on his sash. Still, love these.

13. This lamp and magic carpet display will make a great Aladdin centerpiece.

For some reason, there don't seem to be a lot of Aladdin craft projects on Pinterest. Not sure why.

For some reason, there don’t seem to be a lot of Aladdin craft projects on Pinterest. Not sure why.

14. This Mickey Mouse birdhouse will bring your birds plenty of cheer in the outdoors.

I'm not a fan of Mickey at all. But knowing this is a Disney craft post, I understand that I have to have some things pertaining to him whether I like it or not.

I’m not a fan of Mickey at all. But knowing this is a Disney craft post, I understand that I have to have some things pertaining to him whether I like it or not.

15. If you like the Little Mermaid, remember that old bottles make great lights.

Well, if you put lights in them and aren't under the sea. Because you know what they say about water and electricity.

Well, if you put lights in them and aren’t under the sea. Because you know what they say about water and electricity.

16. If you like the Three Cabelleros, you might enjoy a wreath like this.

"We're three caballeros,/Three gay caballeros,/We sing like we are birds of a feather...." Man, wonder who could remember this song.

“We’re three caballeros,/Three gay caballeros,/We sing like we are birds of a feather….” Man, wonder who could remember this song.

17. Be your own mistress of all evil with this Maleficent wreath at your door.

Sure Maleficent might be incredibly evil. But I have to admit, she certainly makes evil look cool at any rate.

Sure Maleficent might be incredibly evil. But I have to admit, she certainly makes evil look cool at any rate.

18. Any little girl who loves Disney just has to have their own little princess bag.

Each one has its own Disney Princess tutu. Those familiar with Disney can tell which princess is depicted in which.

Each one has its own Disney Princess tutu. Those familiar with Disney can tell which princess is depicted in which.

19. Any Frozen fan should always have two wreaths at the door of Elsa and Anna.

Notice how they almost match each other in style. Because after all, they're sisters.

Notice how they almost match each other in style. Because after all, they’re sisters.

20. These pictures illustrate Ariel’s terms for manmade objects.

The one on the left is a corkscrew used for opening wine bottles. The one in the middle is a fork that's an eating utensil. And the one on the right is a pipe for smoking tobacco. Too bad Ariel didn't know what they were called and what their functions were.

The one on the left is a corkscrew used for opening wine bottles. The one in the middle is a fork that’s an eating utensil. And the one on the right is a pipe for smoking tobacco. Too bad Ariel didn’t know what they were called and what their functions were.

21. Looks like the cards are painting the roses red on this wreath.

It derives from a scene from Alice in Wonderland with the card soldiers painting the roses red. When the Queen of Hearts notices, well, it's off with their heads.

It derives from a scene from Alice in Wonderland with the card soldiers painting the roses red. When the Queen of Hearts notices, well, it’s off with their heads.

22. Those who wear this knitted hat are subject to the power of the Claw.

This is from those little green aliens from the Toy Story series. They're weird little things but adorable and funny.

This is from those little green aliens from the Toy Story series. They’re weird little things but adorable and funny.

23. If you liked Finding Nemo, then you should know what the words on this bag mean.

It's the address of the dentist's office where Nemo's at. And yes, it's in Australia.

It’s the address of the dentist’s office where Nemo’s at. And yes, it’s in Australia.

24. This mobile will give you a 3D view of Ariel’s world under the sea.

It's a good rendition of the Little Mermaid to hang from the ceiling. I can see Ariel, Flounder, and Sebastian on there, too.

It’s a good rendition of the Little Mermaid to hang from the ceiling. I can see Ariel, Flounder, and Sebastian on there, too.

25. Sorry about this mug having a little Chip in it.

Didn't know I was talking about Chip from Beauty and the Beast. Well, after you wash him, he goes back to the cupboard with his brothers and sisters.

Didn’t know I was talking about Chip from Beauty and the Beast. Well, after you wash him, he goes back to the cupboard with his brothers and sisters.

26. I’m sure Pooh would find this “hunny” pot hard to resist.

Well, it's actually a cookie jar. But since it's inspired by Winnie the Pooh, I'm sure that silly old bear would approve of the design.

Well, it’s actually a cookie jar. But since it’s inspired by Winnie the Pooh, I’m sure that silly old bear would approve of the design.

27. If you loved Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, you’ll adore this peg doll set.

I'm you can tell which dwarf is which. For some reason Grumpy doesn't seem to wear red which he did in the movie.

I’m you can tell which dwarf is which. For some reason Grumpy doesn’t seem to wear red which he did in the movie.

28. Raise a glass to your favorite royal heroines with these Disney Princess wine glasses.

This may only include 7. But each one is well painted that you might not want to drink from any of them.

This may only include 7. But each one is well painted that you might not want to drink from any of them.

29. This Enchanted Rose is sure to light up your life.

Unlike in Beauty and the Beast, it doesn't lose petals or isn't enchanted. Just lights up from electricity which is good enough for me.

Unlike in Beauty and the Beast, it doesn’t lose petals or isn’t enchanted. Just lights up from electricity which is good enough for me.

30. As far as talking clocks go, you can’t do better than Cogsworth.

When it comes to repairs, his motto is, "If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it." Still, it's not an exact likeness. But I'll put it on there.

When it comes to repairs, his motto is, “If it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it.” Still, it’s not an exact likeness. But I’ll put it on there.

31. These Seven Dwarfs amigurumi would make you want to cook and clean for them.

Not sure if they bear an exact likeness to any of the ones in the movie. But these are certainly adorable.

Not sure if they bear an exact likeness to any of the ones in the movie. But these are certainly adorable.

32. Fans of Dumbo might want to have this wreath at their door.

Sure it's a very cheery decoration with flowers and such. But Dumbo isn't known to be a cheery movie, at least until the baby elephant learns to fly.

Sure it’s a very cheery decoration with flowers and such. But Dumbo isn’t known to be a cheery movie, at least until the baby elephant learns to fly.

33. Here is a table and chairs set made for any mad tea party.

You see that the chairs represent a major character. And each is well designed. Not sure if I'd want to see it outdoors though.

You see that the chairs represent a major character. And each is well designed. Not sure if I’d want to see it outdoors though.

34. Any girl is bound to be enchanted by this Disney Princess charm bracelet.

Each figure is made from polymer clay. However, I won't recommend this to kids under 3 years old for obvious reasons.

Each figure is made from polymer clay. However, I won’t recommend this to kids under 3 years old for obvious reasons.

35. Fans of The Lion King might enjoy a pendant depicting Rafiki’s sketch of Simba.

Of course, this is what Simba's portrait looks at night when he was a cub. It later gets a mane when he's an adult.

Of course, this is what Simba’s portrait looks at night when he was a cub. It later gets a mane when he’s an adult.

36. Preserve the magic of the Magic Kingdom with this quilt of Cinderella’s castle.

Seems whoever made this did a very good job with the castle and fireworks. Of course, Mickey has to be included to know that it's Disney we're talking about.

Seems whoever made this did a very good job with the castle and fireworks. Of course, Mickey has to be included to know that it’s Disney we’re talking about.

37. These signs show the rides of Walt Disney World in Orlando.

I've been on some of these rides when I was at Disney in high school. But you have to love this though.

I’ve been on some of these rides when I was at Disney in high school. But you have to love this though.

38. If you want to build a snowman, this Olaf wreath is perfect for your home.

Yes, he may be annoying and wants to see summer. But you have to like this wreath of him made of tulle.

Yes, he may be annoying and wants to see summer. But you have to like this wreath of him made of tulle.

39. If you’re into Mickey Mouse cartoons, this flower pot arrangement will do you wonders outside.

Again, I'm not a fan of Mickey Mouse cartoons. But I do think this is an interesting flower pot arrangement.

Again, I’m not a fan of Mickey Mouse cartoons. But I do think this is an interesting flower pot arrangement.

40. May you always have a friend in these Toy Story flower pots.

Includes Woody, Buzz, and Jessie. Hope Woody's doesn't have a snake in it.

Includes Woody, Buzz, and Jessie. Hope Woody’s doesn’t have a snake in it.

41. Rest your head on one of these Disney Princess pillows.

Only includes 9 of them. But each is made in the same style with hair and eyes.

Only includes 9 of them. But each is made in the same style with hair and eyes.

42. A tiara like this can be only well suited for Princess Ariel.

As you look at the forks near the large jewel. And the fact that it uses green stones.

As you look at the forks near the large jewel. And the fact that it uses green stones.

43. I’m sure anyone can bother with this Winnie the Pooh wreath.

Yes, that's with Pooh's famous catch phrase. Still, this is so adorable and so fitting for Pooh.

Yes, that’s with Pooh’s famous catch phrase. Still, this is so adorable and so fitting for Pooh.

44. Cars fans might be in awe of this lounge chair of Mater.

You know the annoying tow truck voiced by Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, that's him. But I have to like how the person made this lounge chair of him. Now that's clever.

You know the annoying tow truck voiced by Larry the Cable Guy. Yeah, that’s him. But I have to like how the person made this lounge chair of him. Now that’s clever.

45. You can easily build a snowman with socks.

Yes, this is a sock Olaf from Frozen. And I believe he bears close resemblance to him in the movie.

Yes, this is a sock Olaf from Frozen. And I believe he bears close resemblance to him in the movie.

46. As we know, Winnie the Pooh always likes being near his honey pots.

I like how they have a larger flower pot for Pooh and a smaller one for the honey jar. So cute.

I like how they have a larger flower pot for Pooh and a smaller one for the honey jar. So cute.

47. Oh, what a Tangled web this wreath is.

Because this wreath is from Tangled and depicts Rapunzel. Like the blond braid in this which seems fitting.

Because this wreath is from Tangled and depicts Rapunzel. Like the blond braid in this which seems fitting.

48. No amigurumi will make you smile like these of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Yes, I had amigurumi dwarves before in this post. However, these are smaller and include Snow White.

Yes, I had amigurumi dwarves before in this post. However, these are smaller and include Snow White.

49. Fans of Gaston will agree that his tombstone has a perfect epitaph.

I know Gaston is a Disney villain who can be quite a monster in Beauty and the Beast. But he's just so funny and full of himself that you can't help but like him. Also, uses antlers in all of his decorating.

I know Gaston is a Disney villain who can be quite a monster in Beauty and the Beast. But he’s just so funny and full of himself that you can’t help but like him. Also, uses antlers in all of his decorating.

50. There is no one in Toy Story that makes a better piggy bank than Ham.

Man, that really looks like him. Wonder why Disney doesn't sell Ham piggy banks more often. They could make a profit with this.

Man, that really looks like him. Wonder why Disney doesn’t sell Ham piggy banks more often. They could make a profit with this.

51. In Beauty and the Beast, Babette proves herself as an efficient duster.

Well, she is a feather duster and a maid in human form. She's also Lumiere's girlfriend.

Well, she is a feather duster and a maid in human form. She’s also Lumiere’s girlfriend.

52. Each of the Disney Princesses on this display has their name signed on a color.

Only 10 are shown here. Anna and Elsa share since they're sisters and in the same movie.

Only 10 are shown here. Anna and Elsa share since they’re sisters and in the same movie.

53. With WALL-E and EVE it’s robot love.

Yes, WALL-E and EVE may be robots. But their story is kind of cute. And so is this pillow.

Yes, WALL-E and EVE may be robots. But their story is kind of cute. And so is this pillow.

54. As Lion King fans know, “Hakuna Matata” means no worries.

Don't know why this wreath doesn't include Timon and Pumbaa. Because "Hakuna Matata" is their song.

Don’t know why this wreath doesn’t include Timon and Pumbaa. Because “Hakuna Matata” is their song.

55. No Disney girl could ever be without this Disney Princess quilt.

Sure it only shows their outfits. But I think it's pretty and clever.

Sure it only shows their outfits. But I think it’s pretty and clever.

56. Have your Disney Princess snuggle up with one of these amigurumi dolls.

Well, these are only some of the Disney princesses. But I have to admit these are really adorable.

Well, these are only some of the Disney princesses. But I have to admit these are really adorable.

57. Those who treasured that tale as old as time, you may love this stained glass window painting.

It's the stained glass window of Belle and the Prince at the end of Beauty and the Beast. And yes, the rose is prominently featured.

It’s the stained glass window of Belle and the Prince at the end of Beauty and the Beast. And yes, the rose is prominently featured.

58. These Disney Princess felt dolls are certainly hard to resist.

Yes, these are all made the same way and feature 13. But they're so cute.

Yes, these are all made the same way and feature 13. But they’re so cute.

59. For Dalmatians, Cruella De Vil is among the most feared people on earth.

Because in 101 Dalmatians, he has a bunch of puppies kidnapped so she could make coats out of them. She also smokes and doesn't have a nice temper. Oh, and she drives like crazy.

Because in 101 Dalmatians, she has a bunch of puppies kidnapped so she could make coats out of them. She also smokes and doesn’t have a nice temper. Oh, and she drives like crazy.

60. As cups are concerned, these two belong together.

Here we have WALL-E and EVE mugs by the fireplace. So adorable.

Here we have WALL-E and EVE mugs by the fireplace. So adorable.

61. For a model house like this, you’d want to put balloons on it to see how it flies.

Yes, this was made to look like the house from Up. No, I wouldn't recommend you to put balloons on it because I wouldn't want to risk damage. Love it.

Yes, this was made to look like the house from Up. No, I wouldn’t recommend you to put balloons on it because I wouldn’t want to risk damage. Love it.

62. Snuggle with a friend with a Toy Story pillow.

Includes Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Rex, and Mr. Potatohead. Still, these are cute. Love their eyes.

Includes Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Rex, and Mr. Potatohead. Still, these are cute. Love their eyes.

63. Recreate your moments in Toy Story with this peg doll set.

Well, here are some of the toy characters as you see. Like how they made Mr. Potatohead and the little green alien into different shapes.

Well, here are some of the toy characters as you see. Like how they made Mr. Potatohead and the little green alien into different shapes.

64. These Disney Princess wine glasses are sure to sparkle.

And yet, another set of Disney Princess wine glasses. But these have glitter on them. So it's fine.

And yet, another set of Disney Princess wine glasses. But these have glitter on them. So it’s fine.

65. Guess time’s Up on this clock.

Because this is a clock from Up. Love how they used balloons for the bottom part of the face.

Because this is a clock from Up. Love how they used balloons for the bottom part of the face.

66. A wreath like this will sure make your home a wonderland.

Yes, this is a wreath from Alice in Wonderland. But you have to like what's in the center.

Yes, this is a wreath from Alice in Wonderland. But you have to like what’s in the center.

67. This wreath will sure make your guests feel welcome in your own Hundred Acre Wood.

This wreath includes Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Eeyore. However, despite that he usually has a key role to play in the cartoons, Rabbit is not included because he's a killjoy.

This wreath includes Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, and Eeyore. However, despite that he usually has a key role to play in the cartoons, Rabbit is not included because he’s a killjoy.

68. This crocheted Pooh hat will keep your warm as you think.

Well, it doesn't show all of Pooh's head. But it's so adorable that you don't even care.

Well, it doesn’t show all of Pooh’s head. But it’s so adorable that you don’t even care.

69. If you love the Disney Princesses, then you’ll adore this peg doll set.

Not sure if includes all your favorite Disney heroines. But I'm sure people will enjoy them.

Not sure if includes all your favorite Disney heroines. But I’m sure people will enjoy them.

70. For Pooh fans, snuggle with one of these amigurumi.

I may not care for Mickey Mouse and his friends. But I do like Winnie the Pooh. And I have to admit, these are adorable.

I may not care for Mickey Mouse and his friends. But I do like Winnie the Pooh. And I have to admit, these are adorable.

71. In Lilo & Stitch, Ohana means family.

That movie is about an alien that falls to earth and is adopted by a Hawaiian family. Both are pretty weird.

That movie is about an alien that falls to earth and is adopted by a Hawaiian family. Both are pretty weird.

72. With this onesie, your baby will always be watching you.

That's coming from that old lady slug monster in Monsters Inc. Nevertheless, this is hilarious.

That’s coming from that old lady slug monster in Monsters Inc. Nevertheless, this is hilarious.

73. Don’t go to a winter ball without this Cinderella hat.

It's a crocheted version of her hair. Also, if you're subject to Cinderella laws, keep that in mind as well.

It’s a crocheted version of her hair. Also, if you’re subject to Cinderella laws, keep that in mind as well.

74. There’s nothing more regal for a little girl than these Disney Princess ribbon pins.

Instead of wearing ribbons, these princesses are ribbons. And I assure you girls will love them.

Instead of wearing ribbons, these princesses are ribbons. And I assure you girls will love them.

75. Keep your candy safe in this Cinderella dispenser.

It's outfitted with its own tulle skirt so you'll surely have a ball. Like the tiara.

It’s outfitted with its own tulle skirt so you’ll surely have a ball. Like the tiara.

76. Fans of Timon and Pumbaa may appreciate this wreath of Timon in a Hawaiian skit.

Yes, this blue deco mesh wreath features Timon when he and Pumbaa put on a song and dance routine to distract the hyenas. It's in the movie, by the way.

Yes, this blue deco mesh wreath features Timon when he and Pumbaa put on a song and dance routine to distract the hyenas. It’s in the movie, by the way.

77. If you liked Sleeping Beauty, then you’ll like this jeweled face of the book in the movie.

I have to admit, it's almost perfect. However, while Aurora isn't the best Disney Princess, Maleficent and the Good Fairies are awesome characters.

I have to admit, it’s almost perfect. However, while Aurora isn’t the best Disney Princess, Maleficent and the Good Fairies are awesome characters.

78. For some reason, I find this Alice in Wonderland wreath simple but fancy at the same time.

Makes you curiouser and curiouser, doesn't it? But you have to appreciate a wreath like this.

Makes you curiouser and curiouser, doesn’t it? But you have to appreciate a wreath like this.

79. No one says your wreath shouldn’t include mouse ears.

I had to put at least one Mickey Mouse wreath some where. Otherwise, I'm sure viewers would complain about it.

I had to put at least one Mickey Mouse wreath some where. Otherwise, I’m sure viewers would complain about it.

80. What could ever be cuter than seeing Pooh in a balloon?

I think this might be for a baby room. But it's just so adorable you can't resist. After all, Pooh is such an endearing bear you got to love.

I think this might be for a baby room. But it’s just so adorable you can’t resist. After all, Pooh is such an endearing bear you got to love.

81. Adorn yourself with these Lion King Simba earrings.

According to Simba's portrait by Rafiki that is. Wonder if my sister would like them.

According to Simba’s portrait by Rafiki that is. Wonder if my sister would like them.

82. “There’s a snake in my pack.”

This is a Woody backpack from Toy Story. Has bandanna stripes and a star.

This is a Woody backpack from Toy Story. Has bandanna stripes and a star.

83. Fans of Up will sure want to wear this necklace.

This one is a pendant of the house from Up with balloons. Yes, it's fine craftsmanship but very delicate.

This one is a pendant of the house from Up with balloons. Yes, it’s fine craftsmanship but very delicate.

84. Nothing makes your dreams come true like this Mickey rainbow quilt.

Sure it has Mickey Mouse ears on it. But at least it's in a nice rainbow pattern that I can put on this post.

Sure it has Mickey Mouse ears on it. But at least it’s in a nice rainbow pattern that I can put on this post.

85. Now you can wear a pendant of the magic rose on your necklace.

Well, it's not really magical. But it's certainly inspired by Beauty and the Beast.

Well, it’s not really magical. But it’s certainly inspired by Beauty and the Beast.

86. Bring the magic to the kitchen with these Disney Princess aprons.

Well, this set only includes 5. But I wonder why Aurora's and Cinderella's almost look the same.

Well, this set only includes 5. But I wonder why Aurora’s and Cinderella’s almost look the same.

87. No Little Mermaid party is complete without a candelabra like this.

Notice that the candle holders have cutlery on them. Mostly because Ariel doesn't know that a candelabra is used for candles.

Notice that the candle holders have cutlery on them. Mostly because Ariel doesn’t know that a candelabra is used for candles.

88. Show your love for Disney with this Mickey Mouse lamp post.

I may not like Mickey. But I think this is pretty amazing. Some of his fans are bound to want one.

I may not like Mickey. But I think this is pretty amazing. Some of his fans are bound to want one.

89. Raise a toast to these Disney Princess champagne glasses.

Well, there are only 5 in this set. Yet, each of them have glitter. And I'm sure they're not for drinking.

Well, there are only 5 in this set. Yet, each of them have glitter. And I’m sure they’re not for drinking.

90. Snuggle up with this pillow of Simba and Mufasa.

Of course, we all know what happens to Mufasa. Yeah, I know plenty of people remember that moment in our childhoods.

Of course, we all know what happens to Mufasa. Yeah, I know plenty of people remember that moment in our childhoods.

91. Make a stitch in time with these Disney Princess embroidered necklace pendants.

Shows 6 examples. But each is lovely in its own way to say the least.

Shows 6 examples. But each is lovely in its own way to say the least.

92. Apparently, a Mickey Mouse shelf can store a lot of things.

Weill, this is a Mickey Mouse shelf with Mickey Mouse figures. Also available with Minnie.

Weill, this is a Mickey Mouse shelf with Mickey Mouse figures. Also available with Minnie.

93. Those who liked Timon and Pumbaa might enjoy a painting like this.

Now there's Timon and Pumbaa. I'm sure plenty of people my age will remember this moment fondly.

Now there’s Timon and Pumbaa. I’m sure plenty of people my age will remember this moment fondly.

94. This Cinderella’s Castle shelf is a great place to store paints.

And it seems to do a fairly good job. Like how the paints are sorted by color.

And it seems to do a fairly good job. Like how the paints are sorted by color.

95. Fans of Jasmine might adore this tulle wreath.

Contains the Genie lamp and Jasmine's headband. Is also mostly blue, too.

Contains the Genie lamp and Jasmine’s headband. Is also mostly blue, too.

96. This Beauty and the Beast wreath certainly has character.

Well, it has Belle, the Beast, and other characters. And it's in purple, too. What more can I want of this?

Well, it has Belle, the Beast, and other characters. And it’s in purple, too. What more can I want of this?

97. This Little Mermaid wreath comes with its own fish tail.

I think this might be for a kid's room. Nevertheless, it's quite fitting.

I think this might be for a kid’s room. Nevertheless, it’s quite fitting.

98. No Disney bathroom is complete without a Mickey Mouse mirror.

This one has a bow tie. Wonder if Walt himself had one of these. Probably. Somewhere.

This one has a bow tie. Wonder if Walt himself had one of these. Probably. Somewhere.

99. If you have a collection of Disney pins, you can display them anywhere.

Such as in a frame like this. Nevertheless, that's a lot of Disney pins. Never seen so many in my life.

Such as in a frame like this. Nevertheless, that’s a lot of Disney pins. Never seen so many in my life.

100. What this wreath depicts is a tale as old as time.

Yes, I know it's another wreath. And it's of Beauty and the Beast. But I couldn't pass this one up.

Yes, I know it’s another wreath. And it’s of Beauty and the Beast. But I couldn’t pass this one up.

Wish Upon a Star For These Disney Merchandise

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

Hercules03

It’s no secret that Disney makes a killing off of merchandise and that was when they didn’t own Marvel or Star Wars. And as a kid, I’m sure I got my parents to contribute generously to that company so I can have some Disney crap of my own. And I’m sure there are plenty of kids who did the same at some point in their lives. Nevertheless, Disney merchandise is everywhere, especially at their theme parks. One of my biggest gripes about going to Disney with my high school marching band during my senior year wasn’t that the Disney merchandise was everywhere but that most of it was associated with Mickey Mouse and his friends whom I’ve said before don’t really care for. In fact, I didn’t include Mickey and his gang among the Disney costume set because I simply don’t like a lot of Mickey Mouse cartoons. The guy is creepy and has an annoying voice. But I understand he’s Disney’s mascot and when it comes to doing the other posts unrelated to costumes, you can’t avoid him. I mean every time I look for Disney stuff, I see Mickey all the damn time. Anyway, I don’t mind so much for merchandise since I usually feature the crazier stuff instead of your standard things. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a glimpse into the wonderful world of Disney merchandise.

 

  1. Fans of Toy Story will surely adore this Slinky Dog tote bag.
Seems like Slinky Dog is stretched out of shape. Yeah, I don't think he's in the best mood.

Seems like Slinky Dog is stretched out of shape. Yeah, I don’t think he’s in the best mood.

2. Show your love for Disney with this Mickey Mouse pocket knife from the 1933 Chicago World Fair.

Handy for opening letters and packages. Also great for attacking rival gang members.

Handy for opening letters and packages. Also great for attacking rival gang members.

3. Keep everything magically fixed and sealed with some Frozen duck tape.

Yeah, I have no idea why they have this. It doesn't seem to make much sense. I mean it's duck tape. Everyone buys it plain.

Yeah, I have no idea why they have this. It doesn’t seem to make much sense. I mean it’s duck tape. Everyone buys it plain.

4. Slow cook your favorite dishes in a crock pot of your favorite Pixar films.

Well, it certainly looks rather adorable. But I'd be afraid to use it for fear it might lead to the paint getting off of it.

Well, it certainly looks rather adorable. But I’d be afraid to use it for fear it might lead to the paint getting off of it.

5. Feel the love tonight with this commemorative pin from The Lion King.

Is it just me or do Simba and Nala seem to have darker circles around their eyes? Doesn't really look great to be honest.

Is it just me or do Simba and Nala seem to have darker circles around their eyes? Doesn’t really look great to be honest.

6. This Lion King Nature Fun book will certainly delight the kiddies for hours.

Uh, why's Scar colored like Simba and Mufasa? Seriously, the color's not right at all.

Uh, why’s Scar colored like Simba and Mufasa? Seriously, the color’s not right at all.

7. This Disney lighter will make everything seem brighter.

To be fair, this probably came out when Walt Disney was still alive. He was known to be a chain smoker. You can guess what killed him.

To be fair, this probably came out when Walt Disney was still alive. He was known to be a chain smoker. You can guess what killed him.

8. Those who love the Little Mermaid might enjoy a Dinglehopper hair brush.

Shouldn't it be a comb? Because Ariel uses a fork as a comb even though it's really for eating.

Shouldn’t it be a comb? Because Ariel uses a fork as a comb even though it’s really for eating.

9. Commemorate Disney’s 101 Dalmatians with this Cruella De Vil figurine.

Cruella and the puppies seem a bit too chummy with each other in this. I mean in the movie Cruella has the puppies kidnapped so she could make coats out of them. So why should she get along with the pups?

Cruella and the puppies seem a bit too chummy with each other in this. I mean in the movie Cruella has the puppies kidnapped so she could make coats out of them. So why should she get along with the pups?

10. Keep the fire out of your house with your very own Mickey Mouse fire extinguisher.

Yes, this exists when it doesn't need to. I think it might be from Etsy. But it's still strange.

Yes, this exists when it doesn’t need to. I think it might be from Etsy. But it’s still strange.

11, Parents, if you’re son is swept by the popularity of Frozen, I suppose this set of undies will do just fine.

Now Frozen little girl underwear I understand. But this? Uh, I think Disney's trying t aim for the wrong demographic.

Now Frozen little girl underwear I understand. But this? Uh, I think Disney’s trying t aim for the wrong demographic.

12. For any Disney barbecue, these Mickey Burgers will surely come in handy.

Just what I want, burgers in the shape of a mouse head. Then again, they might have more meat on them. But they might not turn right grilled.

Just what I want, burgers in the shape of a mouse head. Then again, they might have more meat on them. But they might not turn right grilled.

13. I’m sure Mickey will be happy to hold a roll for you.

Yes, this is a Mickey Mouse toilet paper holder. Now if only they had Mickey Mouse toilet paper.

Yes, this is a Mickey Mouse toilet paper holder. Now if only they had Mickey Mouse toilet paper.

14. Wake up in the morning with this Mickey Mouse toaster.

And yes, you get a toast of Mickey's face on it when you put bread in it. Not something I'd want in mind.

And yes, you get a toast of Mickey’s face on it when you put bread in it. Not something I’d want in mind.

15. On a cold day, it’s great to warm up to Frozen’s Campbell’s Soup.

Yes, kids, pour some of this soup into a bowl, microwave it, eat it, and watch your sodium levels go through the roof. Because Campbell's Mmmmm....salt.

Yes, kids, pour some of this soup into a bowl, microwave it, eat it, and watch your sodium levels let it go. Because Campbell’s Mmmmm….salt.

16. If you loved the Lion King, then you’ll like Battle Action Banzai with Zazu.

Let's face it, Banzai could probably take down Zazu at any day of the week. Then again, it's been a long time since I saw the movie. By the way, Zazu is voiced by Rowan Atkinson who's better known as Mr. Bean. Yeah weird.

Let’s face it, Banzai could probably take down Zazu at any day of the week. Then again, it’s been a long time since I saw the movie. By the way, Zazu is voiced by Rowan Atkinson who’s better known as Mr. Bean. Yeah weird.

17. If you liked the mice on Cinderella, you might like this sewing mouse figurine.

Because there's nothing more endearing than seeing a mouse with a needle. Okay, that's kind of unsettling.

Because there’s nothing more endearing than seeing a mouse with a needle. Okay, that’s kind of unsettling.

18. A Mickey figurine like this captures the magic of Disney.

I don't know. But to me it seems like smaller versions of himself are pinning him down like that scene from Gulliver's Travels. Still, this is pretty weird, even by Disney standards.

I don’t know. But to me it seems like smaller versions of himself are pinning him down like that scene from Gulliver’s Travels. Still, this is pretty weird, even by Disney standards.

19. Keep your kids save in the car with this seat belt from Frozen.

All cars contain seat belts nowadays. So why is this necessary? Then again, maybe I should let it go.

All cars contain seat belts nowadays. So why is this necessary? Then again, maybe I should let it go.

20. Smell like a pirate in the Caribbean with dab of Pirate Water cologne.

In reality, Golden Age pirates of the Caribbean stank like they never had a bath in years. So maybe you don't want to smell like a pirate, historically speaking of course.

In reality, Golden Age pirates of the Caribbean stank like they never had a bath in years. So maybe you don’t want to smell like a pirate, historically speaking of course.

21. Beauty and the Beast fans will surely enjoy sipping their drink through a Belle plastic cup.

Look, I'm a big fan of Beauty and the Beast and all. However, this thing is so disturbing that it can't be unseen.

Look, I’m a big fan of Beauty and the Beast and all. However, this thing is so disturbing that it can’t be unseen.

22. Have girls aspire to wishes and dreams with this Disney princess toilet seat.

If wishes and dreams mean staying dry, not wetting the bed, and never having to put the toilet seat down. Then again, I don't want to imagine how Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora went to the bathroom.

If wishes and dreams mean staying dry, not wetting the bed, and never having to put the toilet seat down. Then again, I don’t want to imagine how Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora went to the bathroom.

23. Kids who like Tarzan are bound to enjoy this jungle Rad, Repeatin’ action figure.

Okay, Tarzan, I know you might have certain "needs." But can't you keep your jerking off to yourself? It's pretty disturbing.

Okay, Tarzan, I know you might have certain “needs.” But can’t you keep your jerking off to yourself? It’s pretty disturbing.

24. Sing-A-Ma-Jig Minnie Mouse is sure to delight kids of all ages.

Believe it or not this toy was aimed to children. But the unfortunate shape of the mouth makes it more suitable for Spencer's more than anything.

Believe it or not this toy was aimed to children. But the unfortunate shape of the mouth makes it more suitable for Spencer’s more than anything.

25. How about spend some time on a Donald Duck ride?

From LOLWOT: "While this ride is likely supposed to be Donald Duck just leaning back and relaxing, when someone sits on him, it looks like he’s getting ready for something quite frisky." Like the awkward look on that woman's face. It's priceless. If you think Donald's dirty in that, you should see him in the Three Caballeros.

From LOLWOT: “While this ride is likely supposed to be Donald Duck just leaning back and relaxing, when someone sits on him, it looks like he’s getting ready for something quite frisky.” Like the awkward look on that woman’s face. It’s priceless. If you think Donald’s dirty in that, you should see him in the Three Caballeros.

26. I’m sure this Winnie the Pooh toy won’t raise any objections.

Okay, I was wrong. As LOL WOT says: "It’s hard to know just what this toy is supposed to do, other than make us incredibly uncomfortable. There’s a reason there’s little information available about this toy other than this picture."

Okay, I was wrong. As LOL WOT says: “It’s hard to know just what this toy is supposed to do, other than make us incredibly uncomfortable. There’s a reason there’s little information available about this toy other than this picture.”

27. Sing along with Mickey with this Mickey Mouse microphone.

From LOL WOT: "This is a toy that is just supposed to let kids have a microphone that has some of the characteristics of Mickey. The problem is the device had a rather phallic shape that encouraged kids to put it near their mouths."

From LOL WOT: “This is a toy that is just supposed to let kids have a microphone that has some of the characteristics of Mickey. The problem is the device had a rather phallic shape that encouraged kids to put it near their mouths.”

28. Nothing makes a great Disney lunch like Dip Sea Dooz fish sticks.

Uh, isn't Ariel part fish? And she's on the package to sell fish sticks? Do you see a conflict of interest here, people?

Uh, isn’t Ariel part fish? And she’s on the package to sell fish sticks? Do you see a conflict of interest here, people?

29. Drink to infinity and beyond with this Buzz Lightyear sippy cup.

From LOL WOT: "When it comes to this sippy cup, it’s not just the incredibly unfortunate placement of the straw, but it’s also the crossed arms and self-satisfied look on Buzz’s face that makes this such a terrible item." Oh, my God, I guess the merchandise people at Disney didn't think this one through in the least bit.

From LOL WOT: “When it comes to this sippy cup, it’s not just the incredibly unfortunate placement of the straw, but it’s also the crossed arms and self-satisfied look on Buzz’s face that makes this such a terrible item.” Oh, my God, I guess the merchandise people at Disney didn’t think this one through in the least bit. He just seems more “woody” than “buzzed” at the moment.

30. Recreate the beginning of the Lion King when Rafiki holds up Simba with this toy.

From LOL WOT: "This small little toy was supposed to emulate the famous scene where the monkey wiseman holds Simba up to the heavens to show the new Lion King. Unfortunately the way the toy is positioned, makes it look like something else entirely is on Rafiki’s mind." What it is, I really don't want to know.

From LOL WOT: “This small little toy was supposed to emulate the famous scene where the monkey wiseman holds Simba up to the heavens to show the new Lion King. Unfortunately the way the toy is positioned, makes it look like something else entirely is on Rafiki’s mind.” What it is, I really don’t want to know.

31. Fans of Hannah Montana might enjoy some gummy concert candy.

From LOL WOT: "While the Hannah Montana Concert Candy is billed as being gummies that are in the shape of guitars and microphones, you don’t have to look that closely to see the rather phallic shape of these treats."

From LOL WOT: “While the Hannah Montana Concert Candy is billed as being gummies that are in the shape of guitars and microphones, you don’t have to look that closely to see the rather phallic shape of these treats.”

32. Any real boy might have some fondness for this pair of Pinocchio boxers.

The fact that Pinocchio has no nose on this just makes me suspect a lot of dirty things going on. So when his nose grows does it mean he's dishonest, horny, or both?

The fact that Pinocchio has no nose on this just makes me suspect a lot of dirty things going on. So when his nose grows does it mean he’s dishonest, horny, or both?

33. If you like Donald Duck and the most badass bounty hunter of them all, look no further.

Yes, that's Donald Duck as Boba Fett. Not sure what Fett's fans might think about this. But at least Donald's wearing pants this time.

Yes, that’s Donald Duck as Boba Fett. Not sure what Fett’s fans might think about this. But at least Donald’s wearing pants this time.

34. Disney Star Wars fans might enjoy this figurine as Mickey as X-Wing fighter Luke Skywalker.

Because there's nothing more family friendly than a mouse that kisses his sister and blows up a space station with thousands of people inside. Okay, that's kind of disturbing.

Because there’s nothing more family friendly than a mouse that kisses his sister and blows up a space station with thousands of people inside. Okay, that’s kind of disturbing.

35. If you like the Incredibles, step into these super high heeled shoes.

Well, at least they're not stilettos. However, they don't seem to be something a woman might wear to a formal event.

Well, at least they’re not stilettos. However, they don’t seem to be something a woman might wear to a formal event.

36. Commemorate Finding Nemo with this snow globe of Marlin and Dory.

Because nothing brings fond memories like being surrounded by sharks and thinking you're gonna die. Sure these guys think that fish are friends not food, but still.

Because nothing brings fond memories like being surrounded by sharks and thinking you’re gonna die. Sure these guys think that fish are friends not food, but still.

37. If you liked Pinocchio, then celebrate Christmas with this commemorative ornament.

Because nothing says Merry Christmas like lying your ass off and being locked in a cage. Yeah, Pinocchio is way more disturbing than what most people remember.

Because nothing says Merry Christmas like lying your ass off and being locked in a cage. Yeah, Pinocchio is way more disturbing than what most people remember.

38. Even die hard Frozen fans can’t seem to let this toilet seat go.

Yes, this is the kind of toilet that helps kids to let their bowels go. I know it's kind of sick but what do you expect?

Yes, this is the kind of toilet that helps kids to let their bowels go. I know it’s kind of sick but what do you expect?

39. If you think Mickey is the king in your life, then this jeweled Mickey king is for you.

By the way, this is said to cost only about $1500. Or as I call it, "a magical waste of money."

By the way, this is said to cost only about $1500. Or as I call it, “a magical waste of money.”

40. Look sharp with these Frozen pressed on nails.

From Bustle: "Because your kindergartner doesn’t always have time to make it to the salon, okay?" Why would any kindergartner need this anyway? Pressed on nails suck.

From Bustle: “Because your kindergartner doesn’t always have time to make it to the salon, okay?” Why would any kindergartner need this anyway? Pressed on nails suck.

41. Now your kid can sleep anywhere with this On the Go Frozen slumber set.

From Bustle: "Just in case your kid needs to take an immediate, stylish nap in the mall, or the grocery store, or the post office…" For a moment, I thought this was an ironing board.

From Bustle: “Just in case your kid needs to take an immediate, stylish nap in the mall, or the grocery store, or the post office…” For a moment, I thought this was an ironing board.

42. Commemorate a Disney Halloween with this Chip and Dale pin.

Now this is kind of disturbing. Because Chip and Dale seem to act like their lounging in a Jacuzzi while they're basically being cooked alive as chipmunk stew. Doesn't help that Dale is adding some spice to the brew. This is sick.

Now this is kind of disturbing. Because Chip and Dale seem to act like their lounging in a Jacuzzi while they’re basically being cooked alive as chipmunk stew. Doesn’t help that Dale is adding some spice to the brew. This is sick.

43. Now you can watch your favorite Disney movies outside with a Mickey Mouse outdoor TV screen.

Really? Sorry, but I kind of prefer the experience of watching outdoor movies as something you experience on a campground on a fair weather Saturday night. This is ridiculous.

Really? Sorry, but I kind of prefer the experience of watching outdoor movies as something you experience on a campground on a fair weather Saturday night. This is ridiculous.

44. Turn on the waterworks with your very own Disney faucet set.

I don't think this would look good in any home. Then again, I guess fans will buy anything.

I don’t think this would look good in any home. Then again, I guess fans will buy anything.

45. Fans of Aladdin would certainly gawk at this Precious Moments Jasmine figurine with Rajah.

Uh, why does Rajah have no stripes? Seriously, he's a tiger. They are born with stripes in their skin. Apparently, the designer didn't understand this.

Uh, why does Rajah have no stripes? Seriously, he’s a tiger. They are born with stripes in their skin. Apparently, the designer didn’t understand this.

46. This Frozen bowling set is said to bring loads of family fun.

How is this necessary? Seriously, I don't understand this. Can someone cue me in?

How is this necessary? Seriously, I don’t understand this. Can someone cue me in on why these exist?

47. Fans of Hercules will certainly like this Hades plush toy.

Okay, I understand that Hades is the bad guy in Hercules just to avoid Herc's being a product of divine rape on Zeus's part which explains why Hera hates him in the original myth. I get that. But even as a Disney villain, Hades is quite likable and entertaining. This plush doesn't really show this.

Okay, I understand that Hades is the bad guy in Hercules just to avoid Herc’s being illegitimate son of Zeus and a mortal named Alceme which explains why Hera makes his life hell in the original myth. I get it. But even as a Disney villain, Hades is quite likable and entertaining. This plush doesn’t really show this.

48. Don’t let your boobs go with this Elsa bra.

Yes, this is real. And you can get it at Hot Topic. I don't know why it exists. But it does.

Yes, this is real. And you can get it at Hot Topic. I don’t know why it exists. But it does.

49. For those who wish to keep clean, this Olaf soap pump will keep your liquid soap in store.

Because there's no better way to get soap than through being pumped from a snowman's head. How does that even make sense?

Because there’s no better way to get soap than through being pumped from a snowman’s head. How does that even make sense?

50. This Frozen T-Shirt will show any man that he’s hot stuff.

Sounds a bit flirtatious doesn't it? Then again, Disney is very well aware of its adult fanbase. But I'm not sure about trying to cater to young men.

Sounds a bit flirtatious doesn’t it? Then again, Disney is very well aware of its adult fanbase. But I’m not sure about trying to cater to young men.

51. Go through rugged terrain with this Frozen toy jeep.

Yes, this toy mainly catered to boys is now outfitted with girly colors like its Barbie predecessor. Not sure why they thought it was a good idea.

Yes, this toy mainly catered to boys is now outfitted with girly colors like its Barbie predecessor. Not sure why they thought it was a good idea.

52. Of course, you can’t go wrong with a Winnie the Pooh sippy cup.

On second thought, you can. Apparently, there are very disturbing things going on in the Hundred Acre Wood that we don't see all the time. Still, this is just mind boggling to me.

On second thought, you can. Apparently, there are very disturbing things going on in the Hundred Acre Wood that we don’t see all the time. Still, this is just mind boggling to me.

53. When it comes to Frozen sometimes this decal will help you deal with what’s inside.

Personally, I find this decal hilarious. However, it kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Let it go/Let it go/Can't hold it back anymore....."

Personally, I find this decal hilarious. However, it kind of gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Let it go/Let it go/Can’t hold it back anymore…..”

54. Stand out at Disney with this commemorative 50th anniversary Mickey Mouse ears jewel encrusted cap.

I don't know about you but $1500 is an awful lot of money for a Disney Mickey cap. Just sayin.'

I don’t know about you but $1500 is an awful lot of money for a Disney Mickey cap. Just sayin.’

55. Train your kids to go to the bathroom with this Toy Story training potty.

I'm sure your kid will be totally comfortable trying to take a dump while the toys are watching from the lid. Then again, probably not.

I’m sure your kid will be totally comfortable trying to take a dump while the toys are watching from the lid. Then again, probably not.

56. There’s no one on Naboo more regal than Queen Minnie Amidala.

Yes, I get it with Disney issuing these figurines. But I'm not sure if I can see Minnie Mouse marrying and having kids with a future Sith Lord.

Yes, I get it with Disney issuing these figurines. But I’m not sure if I can see Minnie Mouse marrying and having kids with a future Sith Lord.

57. Of course, Frozen underwear isn’t just for little girls.

I know this is catered to kids. But I can't help wondering whether it's a thong. Probably which is kind of disturbing.

I know this isn’t catered to kids. But I can’t help wondering whether it’s a thong. Probably which is kind of disturbing.

58. This Mickey Mouse light bulb will light up your life.

Just what I want, Mickey Mouse's head lighting up a room. What will they come up with next? And I thought a Hunger Games light bulb was crazy enough.

Just what I want, Mickey Mouse’s head lighting up a room. What will they come up with next? And I thought a Hunger Games light bulb was crazy enough.

59. For the upcoming film Finding Dory, you might want to check out this figurine.

Because there's nothing better than being in a coffee pot held by an octopus. And you know what octopuses do to fish Dory's size.

Because there’s nothing better than being in a coffee pot held by an octopus. And you know what octopuses do to fish Dory’s size.

60. Keep cool this summer with your very own, Mickey Mouse mini fan.

I don't know about you, but Mickey seems to look quite sinister for some reason. Then again, I tend to think he's kind of creepy anyway.

I don’t know about you, but Mickey seems to look quite sinister for some reason. Then again, I tend to think he’s kind of creepy anyway.

61. Feel the power of the Force with these Star Wars Cars figurines.

As if I didn't think the Mickey Mouse Star Wars figurines were stupid enough. Now they have to depict the characters as cars? Seriously why?

As if I didn’t think the Mickey Mouse Star Wars figurines were stupid enough. Now they have to depict the characters as cars? Seriously why?

62. Chill out on the beach this summer with your very own Olaf beach towel from Frozen.

Well, at least Olaf fantasizes about spending summer on the beach. Too bad he's made out of ice and snow that he'll melt when spring comes around.

Well, at least Olaf fantasizes about spending summer on the beach. Too bad he’s made out of ice and snow that he’ll melt when spring comes around.

63. These Disney fish nuggets will surely make a great lunch.

Again with the Little Mermaid promotions. I mean she's part fish for God's sake. Then again, sharks are also considered fish. But still.

Again with the Little Mermaid promotions. I mean she’s part fish for God’s sake. Then again, sharks are also considered fish. But still.

64. Reel it in like a princess with your very own Disney princess fishing rod.

I'm sure there are some girls who go on fishing trips. It's just that it doesn't strike as something associated with Disney princess fans.

I’m sure there are some girls who go on fishing trips. It’s just that it doesn’t strike as something associated with Disney princess fans. But at least Ariel is not on the packaging.

65. Seems like Mickey Mouse can really wield a lightsaber as Anakin Skywalker.

I'm sure he's soon going to use that lightsaber to murder a building full of kids once he turns to the Dark Side. After all, Anakin did so in Revenge of the Sith.

I’m sure he’s soon going to use that lightsaber to murder a building full of kids once he turns to the Dark Side. After all, Anakin did so in Revenge of the Sith.

66. This Precious Moments Jasmine with Rajah will melt your heart.

Again, Rajah is a tiger. That animal Jasmine is holding doesn't look like a tiger cub at all.

Again, Rajah is a tiger. That animal Jasmine is holding doesn’t look like a tiger cub at all.

67. If you loved the movie Up, then you’ll adore this figurine of Carl and Russell.

I don't know about you. But at the angle this was photographed, it doesn't seem to have good connotations. I don't know if I want to divulge why.

I don’t know about you. But at the angle this was photographed, it doesn’t seem to have good connotations. I don’t know if I want to divulge why.

68. Wonder how Donald is going to get out of this.

This is him as Han Solo in carbonite. Interesting how Disney made the choice to depict Donald like this. And I'm not sure if he's wearing pants.

This is him as Han Solo in carbonite. Interesting how Disney made the choice to depict Donald like this. And I’m not sure if he’s wearing pants.

69. I’m sure the magic and the Force will be with you with these Star Wars Disney figurines.

Wonder what Mickey will think when he finds out that Goofy is his father and that Minnie is his sister. Only time will tell I guess.

Wonder what Mickey will think when he finds out that Goofy is his father and that Minnie is his sister. Only time will tell I guess.

70. Nothing makes a trip for the beach better than wearing your very own Elsa flip flops.

From Smosh: "Nothing captures the feel of Frozen like beachwear. Yes, there are Frozen swimsuits. Yes, there are Frozen beach balls. And yes, somewhere someone is proudly introducing Frozen beach homes, made entirely of sculpted ice. The residence will melt away just as you pay the property tax."

From Smosh: “Nothing captures the feel of Frozen like beachwear. Yes, there are Frozen swimsuits. Yes, there are Frozen beach balls. And yes, somewhere someone is proudly introducing Frozen beach homes, made entirely of sculpted ice. The residence will melt away just as you pay the property tax.” Do you want to build a sand man? It doesn’t have to be a sand man. Okay bye.

71. Of course, there are many young women who dream to be married in an Elsa wedding gown.

From Smosh: "Despite the age of your average Frozen fan, this Elsa-inspired bridal gown is not made for children, but is instead designed for adults who probably tried to wedge their feet in glass slippers in hopes of landing royalty. The person who gets this gown is is the type of person who can’t leave behind the idea of a “fairytale wedding”, no matter how much medication their doctor prescribes them."

From Smosh: “Despite the age of your average Frozen fan, this Elsa-inspired bridal gown is not made for children, but is instead designed for adults who probably tried to wedge their feet in glass slippers in hopes of landing royalty. The person who gets this gown is is the type of person who can’t leave behind the idea of a “fairytale wedding”, no matter how much medication their doctor prescribes them.”

72. Sing “Let It Go” all you want with this Frozen microphone and amplifier.

From Smosh: "Remember the karaoke scene in Frozen that turned into an epic rap battle? Well, clearly someone got the unofficial director’s cut, because now kids everywhere can belt out “Let It Go” as often as they want ... until there's a rise in child abandonment cases."

From Smosh: “Remember the karaoke scene in Frozen that turned into an epic rap battle? Well, clearly someone got the unofficial director’s cut, because now kids everywhere can belt out “Let It Go” as often as they want … until there’s a rise in child abandonment cases.”

73. Now your little girl can tee off with her very own Frozen golf set.

From Smosh: "When children left the theater after seeing Frozen, their first thought was probably, “I hope I can get in a quick nine at the club". Now, thanks to this Elsa and Anna-endorsed set, kids everywhere can relive the wintry magic of the film while making important business contacts on the green! Should they snap their clubs in half after being caught in a sand trap, they can always pick up the official, and real, Frozen Bowling Set."

From Smosh: “When children left the theater after seeing Frozen, their first thought was probably, “I hope I can get in a quick nine at the club”. Now, thanks to this Elsa and Anna-endorsed set, kids everywhere can relive the wintry magic of the film while making important business contacts on the green! Should they snap their clubs in half after being caught in a sand trap, they can always pick up the official, and real, Frozen Bowling Set.”

74. Dreams will come true one mile at a time with a pair of athletic Cinderella glass slippers.

What the hell? Seriously, that doesn't look like anything practical as athletic gear. In fact, its existence defies all logical explanation.

What the hell? Seriously, that doesn’t look like anything practical as athletic gear. In fact, its existence defies all logical explanation.

75. Of course, boys will live happily ever after playing with this Disney prince playset.

Except that many boys aren't really that interested in these kind of toys. Also, the earlier princes don't have much character to them either.

Except that many boys aren’t really that interested in these kind of toys. Also, the earlier princes don’t have much character to them either.

76. Now you can make your own Frozen treats with an Olaf snow cone maker.

Yes, Olaf is made out of snow. But it doesn't make this thing less disturbing since it churns snow from his chest.

Yes, Olaf is made out of snow. But it doesn’t make this thing less disturbing since it churns snow from his chest.

77. If your kid needs to breath, perhaps this Mickey Mouse gas mask will come in handy.

To be fair, this is from WWII for children in air raid drills. However, no kid really asks for a Mickey Mouse gas mask. Unless they're a budding WWII buff.

To be fair, this is from WWII for children in air raid drills. However, no kid really asks for a Mickey Mouse gas mask. Unless they’re a budding WWII buff.

78. Nothing makes you light up like a pack of Hannah Montana cigarettes.

Naturally, like the Harry Potter condoms, these aren't licensed (thank God). But it doesn't paint Miley Cyrus as a great role model during the late 2000s. Well, until the VMAs and "Wrecking Ball" anyway.

Naturally, like the Harry Potter condoms, these aren’t licensed (thank God). But it doesn’t paint Miley Cyrus as a great role model during the late 2000s. Well, until the VMAs and “Wrecking Ball” anyway.

79. Any child is sure to do delight in one of these Mickey Mouse dressers.

As far as children's furniture is concerned, these give me nightmares. Don't know why.

As far as children’s furniture is concerned, these give me nightmares. Don’t know why.

80. Nothing is more fun at a mini golf course than teeing off with Donald Duck.

Then again, seeing Donald at a mini golf course like this might make you wonder whether he wants to murder you in your sleep. Not to be critical.

Then again, seeing Donald at a mini golf course like this might make you wonder whether he wants to murder you in your sleep. Not to be critical.

81. There’s nothing better than two baby dolls dressed as Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

These babies look dead inside even in Disney attire. They make Mickey and Minnie seem cute by comparison.

These babies look dead inside even in Disney attire. They make Mickey and Minnie seem cute by comparison.

82. Of course, Minnie seems to be in skimpy attire as a slave to Jabba the Hutt.

Now I've heard Disney wanting to discontinue the Slave Leia merchandise which I think is stupid. Meanwhile, they come up with Slave Leia Minnie which is in some ways more unsettling. I wish someone would explain this.

Now I’ve heard Disney wanting to discontinue the Slave Leia merchandise which I think is stupid. Meanwhile, they come up with Slave Leia Minnie which is in some ways more unsettling. I wish someone would explain this.

83. Keep yourself clean and wash your blues away with these Mickey and Minnie shower heads.

These are from Japan who have a Disney theme park of their own. Not sure if I want water coming out of their noses though. Or anywhere else on their faces.

These are from Japan who have a Disney theme park of their own. Not sure if I want water coming out of their noses though. Or anywhere else on their faces.

84. Store your pez candies in this set of dispensers from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Well, these may seem harmless. But the dwarf ones have acquired a dubious reputation when you try to put a pez in them. And I'll leave it at that.

Well, these may seem harmless. But the dwarf ones have acquired a dubious reputation when you try to put a pez in them. And I’ll leave it at that.

85. Grace your Christmas tree with this memorable ornament of Winnie the Pooh.

Well, memorable for all the wrong reasons. I might've posted it before a few years ago. But this is just so freaky.

Well, memorable for all the wrong reasons. I might’ve posted it before a few years ago. But this is just so freaky. I mean what the hell is Pooh wearing? Oh, bother.

86. Smell Pixar fresh with a bottle of Toy Story 3 cologne.

Its scent is of tears from grown men and women. Lots of tears if you know what the movie's about.

Its scent is of tears from grown men and women. Lots of tears if you know what the movie’s about.

87. Help Buzz Lightyear back on his feet with Toy Story Operation.

Funny, Buzz doesn't seem to have much wrong with him. Then again, in the first movie he had been under the delusion that he was real instead of a toy.

Funny, Buzz doesn’t seem to have much wrong with him. Then again, in the first movie he had been under the delusion that he was real instead of a toy.

88. How about a pancake skillet with Mickey or Cinderella?

These are so you can have their images on pancakes. I don't know why people would. That's what they do.

These are so you can have their images on pancakes. I don’t know why people would. That’s what they do.

89. Beware of the power of the dark lord of the Stitch.

Really, Stitch as Emperor Palpatine? I can't see that. I mean Stitch really isn't evil. Just innocent and misunderstood.

Really, Stitch as Emperor Palpatine? I can’t see that. I mean Stitch really isn’t evil. Just innocent and misunderstood.

90. Snuggle up with one of these plush Disney princesses.

For Disney princess dolls and plushies, these are utterly creepy. And no, I don't think the Disney princess franchise is about that.

For Disney princess dolls and plushies, these are utterly creepy. And no, I don’t think the Disney princess franchise is about that.

91. Smell like a baddie with these bottles of Disney Villain cologne.

Because Disney villains are all delightfully vile in their own way. Not sure about the Frollo or Radcliff ones because Frollo is creepy as hell and Radcliffe, well, he's kind of lame.

Because Disney villains are all delightfully vile in their own way. Not sure about the Frollo or Radcliffe ones because Frollo is creepy as hell and Radcliffe, well, he’s kind of lame.

92. “Do or do not. There is no try, Mickey.”

Yes, Mickey has Master Yoda on his back. Yoda is training Mickey to be a jedi. Don't really see him as one to be honest.

Yes, Mickey has Master Yoda on his back. Yoda is training Mickey to be a jedi. Don’t really see him as one to be honest.

93. Have Mickey in your kitchen with this set of teaspoons.

They just consist of his disembodied hands. Kind of disturbing in context if you really think about it.

They just consist of his disembodied hands. Kind of disturbing in context if you really think about it.

94. Master Yoda Stitch is wise in the ways of the Force.

Approve of it, I do not. Nonsensical it is. Conforming with character it does not.

Approve of it, I do not. Nonsensical it is. Conforming with character it does not.

95. I’m sure anyone is bound to remember this vintage Mickey with his beloved dog Pluto.

Pluto doesn't look so good. Wonder what's wrong with him. Hope Mickey doesn't have to have him put down.

Pluto doesn’t look so good. Wonder what’s wrong with him. Hope Mickey doesn’t have to have him put down.

96. Mickey Mouse will do anything to safely get the golden monkey.

Now there's a mouse that can destroy an entire temple of doom. Of course, what he he has in his hand belongs in a museum.

Now there’s a mouse that can destroy an entire temple of doom. Of course, what he he has in his hand belongs in a museum.

97. Have a drink from these oil cans from Dinoco.

Yes, kids, drink your beverage from oil cans like the characters on Cars. Then again, it was also featured in Toy Story.

Yes, kids, drink your beverage from oil cans like the characters on Cars. Then again, it was also featured in Toy Story.

98. Keep your coffee warm with this Frozen coffee mug.

Because even 5 year olds need a buzz during their morning commute (just kidding). Then again, I don't think this is catered to kids.

Because even 5 year olds need a buzz during their morning commute (just kidding). Then again, I don’t think this is catered to kids.

99. This Mad Hatter bottle stopper is great for anything holding wine.

Uh, the Mad Hatter usually prefers tea. Then again, Alice in Wonderland is supposed to be a nonsenical kids story anyway.

Uh, the Mad Hatter usually prefers tea. Then again, Alice in Wonderland is supposed to be a nonsensical kids story anyway.

100. Now you can look great at the beach with these Disney swimsuits.

Yes, these are Disney swimsuits and they're for adults. Whether they look stupid at the beach remains to be seen.

Yes, these are Disney swimsuits and they’re for adults. Whether they look stupid at the beach remains to be seen.

Dreams Will Come True in These Magical Costumes from the Wonderful World of Disney

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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As far as the Walt Disney Company is concerned, I have posts on at least two of the franchises they have rights to such as Star Wars back in November and Marvel Comics back in March. However, the company has gained some notoriety for its idea of American cultural imperialism, these few Disney posts aren’t about the media conglomerate. Or else, I’d have a lot more to work with. In fact, these posts are about Disney as a brand which is more associated with Mickey Mouse cartoons, animated movie musicals, Pixar, as well as networks that feature corny sitcoms and bubblegum pop music aimed at 11-14 year old girls like Hannah Montana. As someone born in 1990, I was a child during a very good time for Disney when they released some of their greatest and more famous films such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Lion King, Toy Story and Toy Story 2, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, James and the Giant Peach, and Mulan. My adolescence and college years saw a lot of good movies from Pixar such as Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles, Ratatouille, WALL-E, Toy Story 3, and Up. And there are recent movies which aren’t too shabby either like The Princess and the Frog, Brave, Frozen, and Enchanted. Of course, I also watched the old stuff, too like Pinocchio, Dumbo, The Fox and the Hound, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Bambi, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Lady and the Tramp, The Jungle Book, Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Fantasia, The Rescuers, Alice in Wonderland, and Song of the South (on Youtube out of curiosity). I’ve also seen a few Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh cartoons as well. Nevertheless, one of the great things about these Disney movies is that they tend to appeal to such wide audiences around the world and at all ages. Children who grew up with Disney will like it forever and pass their love for it to their kids. And there is absolutely no shame with liking Disney movies at any age since almost everyone has watched them either in theaters or on DVD. Because no matter how sappy and wholesome Disney movies might seem on the surface, a lot of these films are still as entertaining and relevant as they always have.

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Founded in 1923 by Walt Disney and his brother Roy as a cartoon studio, what would be later known as the Walt Disney Company started out by releasing a series of shorts called Alice’s Wonderland which featured a child actress interacting with animated characters. After that series ended in 1926, Walt did a series of shorts featuring a character named Oswald the Lucky Rabbit through Universal Studios. But two years later in 1928, he lost a contract with his distributor which took 4 of his fellow animators save Ub Iwerks to form their own cartoon studio. However, that same year he’d create Mickey Mouse and release Steamboat Willie which was the first cartoon to feature synchronized sound, a smash hit, as well as made Mickey a household name, changed animation forever, and became Walt Disney’s big break. During the early 1930s, Disney would release more cartoon shorts such as the Silly Symphonies series and more Mickey Mouse cartoons as well as experiment with Technicolor. These toons would provide Walt Disney to finance a project that was practically unheard of at the time: a full-length animated feature film in English called Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1934. However, despite what some critics would say, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would become the highest grossing film after its debut in December 1937 to 1939. Disney would use the profits to build his Burbank, California studio as well as produce more films, cartoons, and TV shows. In the 1955, Walt Disney would open Disneyland in California. Disney World would open after Walt Disney’s death in 1966 from lung cancer due to his chain smoking catching up to him. However, the Walt Disney Company continued to live on despite suffering a slump in the 1970s and early 1980s. Then this would be the time when Disney would start to take its modern form with releasing several of the movies people in my generation grew up with, the Disney Channel, buying up networks, and its partnership with Pixar, a studio known for making a well done film at the worst. Nevertheless, while many people might dismiss Disney as a company specializing in children’s entertainment, they’ve been known to produce films that would make a grown man cry and its partnership with Pixar has increasingly shown how the movie industry hasn’t been taking animated films as serious as it should.

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However, while Disney has had an unmistakable presence in my childhood, it turns out that there are a lot of huge fans out there way more obsessed with these movies than I’ll ever be. In fact, it’s not uncommon for many people to dress up as Disney characters on Halloween, on their Disney trips, or at an occasional comic convention. And sometimes this consists of whole families as well as people of all ages. You’ll see plenty of Disney princesses, Disney villains, as well as characters from Pixar. Personally, I prefer most of the recent Disney movies I grew up with as well as the Pixar films. I’m not a huge fan of Mickey and his gang despite seeing a few cartoons. However, I do like Winnie the Pooh since those cartoons contain characters people at all ages while having G rated plots and themes. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of magically costumed characters all from the wonderful world of Disney.

  1. Paint the colors of the wind with this Pocahontas costume.
Kind of ironic that she's dressed as a character who's based on a real historical figure who was supposed to be 12 at the time she "saved" John Smith. Then again, Pocahontas had been subject to age ups before the Disney movie came out.

Kind of ironic that she’s dressed as a character who’s based on a real historical figure who was supposed to be 12 at the time she “saved” John Smith. Then again, Pocahontas had been subject to age ups before the Disney movie came out.

2. Princess Merida always takes her best shot in all her finery.

The thing I like about Merida is that it focuses more on mother-daughter relationships and that she's one of the few Disney princesses to act like a typical teenager. Well, at least not in a very destructive way (unlike Anna, Elsa, and Ariel).

The thing I like about Merida is that it focuses more on mother-daughter relationships and that she’s one of the few Disney princesses to act like a typical teenager. Well, at least not in a very destructive way (unlike Anna, Elsa, and Ariel).

3. Oh, no, looks like Ariel’s become lunch!

Yeah, I know I'm going to get comments for this. But I think this is really funny. Besides, it's a wonder she didn't get eaten.

Yeah, I know I’m going to get comments for this. But I think this is really funny. Besides, it’s a wonder she didn’t get eaten.

4. Looks like this family has gone to Wonderland and back.

Then again, the dad seems to be dressed as the Mad Hatter from the Tim Burton movie. However, my favorite in this bunch is the kid dressed as the Ace of Spades.

Then again, the dad seems to be dressed as the Mad Hatter from the Tim Burton movie. However, my favorite in this bunch is the kid dressed as the Ace of Spades.

5. Remember, at Agrabah, no one is safe from evil and powerful Jafar.

Interestingly enough, Jafar was based on a real guy who wasn't that bad but ended up executed. However, that Jafar had usually been the go-to guy for inspiring evil grand viziers ever since, particularly in the Arabian Nights.

Interestingly enough, Jafar was based on a real guy who wasn’t that bad but ended up executed. However, that Jafar had usually been the go-to guy for inspiring evil grand viziers ever since, particularly in the Arabian Nights.

6. Looks like the office Genie has come out of his lamp today.

I know Genie wasn't dressed up like that in Aladdin. But I have to admit, this is a really cool costume. This guy definitely deserves to win his Halloween costume contest at work.

I know Genie wasn’t dressed up like that in Aladdin. But I have to admit, this is a really cool costume. This guy definitely deserves to win his Halloween costume contest at work.

7. I hope that little girl doesn’t take a bite out of that apple.

I may not be a big fan of Snow White since she's kind of a bland character. However, I often envy her for being able to get a bunch of woodland creatures to clean her home with a song.

I may not be a big fan of Snow White since she’s kind of a bland character. However, I often envy her for being able to get a bunch of woodland creatures to clean a house she broke in with a song.

8. Unlike Ariel, this Disney Princess didn’t leave her home under the sea.

This is Princess Kida from Atlantis: the Lost Empire. She later becomes queen and ends up shacking up with a much younger man.

This is Princess Kida from Atlantis: the Lost Empire. She later becomes queen and ends up shacking up with a much younger man.

9. As we all know, Mulan was destined to be a Chinese housewife but ended up risking her life to save her father and China.

Well, this is Mulan in her outfit when she went to see the matchmaker. She didn't do very well. Thankfully, she ended up with her boss who kind of had some sexuality issues.

Well, this is Mulan in her outfit when she went to see the matchmaker. She didn’t do very well. Thankfully, she ended up with her boss who kind of had some sexuality issues.

10. Yet, here we see another picture of Mulan kicking ass.

Of course, when she dressed up as a guy, she managed to keep her gender under wraps for months. And it's a wonder the other guys didn't find out when she was bathing with them.

Of course, when she dressed up as a guy, she managed to keep her gender under wraps for months. And it’s a wonder the other guys didn’t find out when she was bathing with them.

11. Here we come to the Princess Aurora from Sleeping Beauty.

Of course, she didn't know her name was Aurora until her 16th birthday. Till then, she was called Briar Rose.

Of course, she didn’t know her name was Aurora until her 16th birthday. Till then, she was called Briar Rose.

12. Remember at your Disney party, always invite Maleficent.

Because if you don't, she'll crash your party and curse your baby. Yeah, she can be an evil witch but she's not a woman to mess with.

Because if you don’t, she’ll crash your party and curse your baby. Yeah, she can be an evil witch but she’s not a woman to mess with.

13. For a modern day Briar Rose, love is once upon a dream.

However, it doesn't help that she's dancing in a parking lot. Yeah, real smart. Not.

However, it doesn’t help that she’s dancing in a parking lot. Yeah, real smart. Not.

14. This baby Belle is surely hard to resist.

Yes, she's so adorable in that little yellow tutu dress. So sweet.

Yes, she’s so adorable in that little yellow tutu dress. So sweet.

15. Who remembers Bing Bong from Inside Out?

He's Riley's imaginary friend when she was a little girl. Nevertheless, his death scene kind of makes you cry.

He’s Riley’s imaginary friend when she was a little girl. Nevertheless, his death scene kind of makes you cry.

16. Guess this woman doesn’t really go on magic carpet rides.

Because she's the magic carpet from Aladdin. And she seemed to have made it herself according to the pattern.

Because she’s the magic carpet from Aladdin. And she seemed to have made it herself according to the pattern.

17. “Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.”

That's Tarzan and Jane Porter all right. I guess Tarzan is a rather easy costume since it only entails a loincloth and wig.

That’s Tarzan and Jane Porter all right. I guess Tarzan is a rather easy costume since it only entails a loincloth and wig.

18. The Ace of Clubs is ready for a paint job at the Queen of Hearts’s rose bush.

Unfortunately, he'll end up losing his head over it. Yeah, the Queen of Hearts is one nasty bitch.

Unfortunately, he’ll end up losing his head over it. Yeah, the Queen of Hearts is one nasty bitch.

19. Apparently, Buzz Lightyear had just been to a tea party.

It was in Sid's sister's room. And his arm was detached at the time. Still, this is a clever costume.

It was in Sid’s sister’s room. And his arm was detached at the time. Still, this is a clever costume.

20. As we all know, Belle is kind of a bookworm.

She's also said to have her head in the clouds and coming off as a bit odd. Oh, and rejecting Gaston for no good reason, according to the villagers' point of view.

She’s also said to have her head in the clouds and coming off as a bit odd. Oh, and rejecting Gaston for no good reason, according to the villagers’ point of view.

21. Cinderella can’t go to the ball? Don’t worry her magical Fairy Godmother will fix it for her.

Yes, with flick of her magic wand, she can turn a pumpkin into a coach, mice into horses, and dogs into coachmen. Still, this costume looks easy to make.

Yes, with flick of her magic wand, she can turn a pumpkin into a coach, mice into horses, and dogs into coachmen. Still, this costume looks easy to make.

22. It’s well known that Flynn Rider can be quite a charmer.

He can also climb towers on his girlfriend's long golden locks. Then again, I'm not very familiar with him because I've never seen Tangled.

He can also climb towers on his girlfriend’s long golden locks. Then again, I’m not very familiar with him because I’ve never seen Tangled.

23. Hey, I wonder what’s going on in Riley’s head.

Yes, this is a family rendition of Inside Out. Also, Bing Bong is played by the dog.

Yes, this is a family rendition of Inside Out. Also, Bing Bong is played by the dog.

24. When it comes to activities, Merida would rather shoot arrows than comb her hair.

However, ask her to get married and she'll throw a huge hissyfit an justifiably sow. Still, you have to like her long red locks.

However, ask her to get married and she’ll throw a huge hissyfit an justifiably sow. Still, you have to like her long red locks.

25. As a gypsy woman, Esmeralda earns her keep as a street performer with her goat.

Too bad she ended up making Frollo horny during Mardi Gras. Yeah, he's not known to take unrequited lust very well.

Too bad she ended up making Frollo horny during Mardi Gras. Yeah, he’s not known to take unrequited lust very well.

26. Guess Ariel didn’t think Urusla would try to steal her man when she signed the terms and conditions.

The dark haired woman is Vanessa, by the way who's actually Ursula. Still, you have to wonder why Ariel didn't just write notes to Eric in order to talk to him. I mean she has some degree of literacy. Then again, she might be that stupid.

The dark haired woman is Vanessa, by the way who’s actually Ursula. Still, you have to wonder why Ariel didn’t just write notes to Eric in order to talk to him. I mean she has some degree of literacy. Then again, she might be that stupid.

27. In Frozen, there’s no couple more endearing than Anna and Kristoff.

Sure he may be rough around the edges, but Kristoff is a nice guy who mines ice and takes care of his reindeer Sven. Princess Anna shouldn't have gotten engaged to Prince Hans who turned out to be a jerk.

Sure he may be rough around the edges, but Kristoff is a nice guy who mines ice and takes care of his reindeer Sven. Princess Anna shouldn’t have gotten engaged to Prince Hans who turned out to be a jerk.

28. On the floor here is Sailor Jasmine.

It's basically Princess Jasmine in a Sailor Moon outfit. And it's in her color, too.

It’s basically Princess Jasmine in a Sailor Moon outfit. And it’s in her color, too.

29. As we know from Disney, every princess has her prince.

Or so it seems that way. Unless you're Merida or Elsa. Still, not sure who the couple in the middle is supposed to be. Haven't seen their costumes before.

Or so it seems that way. Unless you’re Merida or Elsa. Still, not sure who the couple in the middle is supposed to be. Haven’t seen their costumes before.

30. Apparently, Snow White seems to be a friend of all the woodland creatures.

And it seems the bunny has a ruff around its neck. Kind of messed up. But I'll put it on this post.

And it seems the bunny has a ruff around its neck. Kind of messed up. But I’ll put it on this post.

31. Here we have Ariel kindly escorted by Prince Eric.

Not sure what to think about Eric. Then again, he was under a spell. But he still kind of seems like a ditz. But so is Ariel.

Not sure what to think about Eric. Then again, he was under a spell. But he still kind of seems like a ditz. But so is Ariel.

32. Seems like this family comes from deep in the Hundred Acre Wood.

This family seems rather well dressed as the cast from Winnie the Pooh. Too bad they couldn't include Rabbit. But what's not to love?

This family seems rather well dressed as the cast from Winnie the Pooh. Too bad they couldn’t include Rabbit. But what’s not to love?

33. In the ocean, Ursula always advertises in helping poor unfortunate souls.

Well, this Ursula has green hair and is really a sea witch. But boy, she's so entertaining.

Well, this Ursula has green hair and is really a sea witch. But boy, she’s so entertaining.

34. There’s no man who rules the waves under the sea than King Triton.

Too bad he pays more attention to his job than his 7 daughters. With a dad like him, could anyone be surprised that Ariel ended up like she did? Not really.

Too bad he pays more attention to his job than his 7 daughters. With a dad like him, could anyone be surprised that Ariel ended up like she did? Not really.

35. “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.”

Pinocchio has never been among my favorite Disney movies. However, I have to admit that this is a really good costume.

Pinocchio has never been among my favorite Disney movies. However, I have to admit that this is a really good costume.

36. As always, Kristoff is always accompanied with his trusty reindeer Sven.

Keep in mind that Kristoff probably has really bad BO since he was raised by trolls. But this is such a cute costume.

Keep in mind that Kristoff probably has really bad BO since he was raised by trolls. But this is such a cute costume.

37. Fans of Tangled might remember Flynn Rider and Rapunzel.

Note to self: try to watch Tangled as soon as possible. Because I know it's based on Rapunzel and not much else.

Note to self: try to watch Tangled as soon as possible. Because I know it’s based on Rapunzel and not much else.

38. For this couple a rat infestation can only help their restaurant business.

This family is dressed as the 3 main characters from Ratatouille. It's about a rat who aspires to be a Parisian chef. So cute.

This family is dressed as the 3 main characters from Ratatouille. It’s about a rat who aspires to be a Parisian chef. So cute.

39. From Atlantis: The Lost Empire, we have Milo and Kida.

Sure there's a two millennium age difference at least, but they seem to be going strong. After all, that didn't stop Aragorn and Arwen from getting together either.

Sure there’s a two millennium age difference at least, but they seem to be going strong. After all, that didn’t stop Aragorn and Arwen from getting together either.

40. The movie Frozen always teaches us that sisterly love is perhaps the strongest love of all.

Not sure if it's like that between me and my sister. But at least neither of us have their problems. Queen Elsa should probably loosen up while Princess Anna should use her head.

Not sure if it’s like that between me and my sister. But at least neither of us have their problems. Queen Elsa should probably loosen up while Princess Anna should use her head.

41. Olaf always looks forward to summer.

Unfortunately for him, he's a snowman so he'll basically evaporate when it gets above a certain temperature. Lucky for him, Elsa gives him a cloud.

Unfortunately for him, he’s a snowman so he’ll basically evaporate when it gets above a certain temperature. Lucky for him, Elsa gives him a cloud.

42. Working for supers, Edna Mode always designs outfits for heroes.

Like Jafar, Edna Mode is also based on a real person. In her case, it's the famous Hollywood costume designer Edith Head known design outfits for a lot of classic movies.

Like Jafar, Edna Mode is also based on a real person. In her case, it’s the famous Hollywood costume designer Edith Head known design outfits for a lot of classic movies.

43. Seems like this family comes all the way from Monsters Inc.

Guess we have here Mike, Sulley, Mike's girlfriend with the Medusa hair, and Boo. Still, such a good movie, but not to the degree of Toy Story.

Guess we have here Mike, Sulley, Mike’s girlfriend with the Medusa hair, and Boo. Still, such a good movie, but not to the degree of Toy Story.

44. If you need a gospel choir from Ancient Greece, say hello to the Muses from Hercules.

Well, there are only 5 Muses in Hercules. But in Greek mythology, there were 9. 5 is a manageable number.

Well, there are only 5 Muses in Hercules. But in Greek mythology, there were 9. 5 is a manageable number.

45. If you’re not into blue, perhaps a pink dress will do.

This is Princess Aurora in her pink dress. Yes, it's beautiful but she spends more screen time in the blue one. Just saying.

This is Princess Aurora in her pink dress. Yes, it’s beautiful but she spends more screen time in the blue one. Just saying.

46. For big families, perhaps you’ll do well going as Snow White, the Prince, and the 7 Dwarfs.

I know this is more of a stock photo. But I'm including it anyway since it has all the costumes of the 7 dwarfs.

I know this is more of a stock photo. But I’m including it anyway since it has all the costumes of the 7 dwarfs.

47. I’m sure Esmeralda will be fine seeking refuge at Notre Dame.

Here she's praying to God for the outcasts. Yet, in the movie, she's also one herself. And it's too bad Frollo is lusting after her which is creepy.

Here she’s praying to God for the outcasts. Yet, in the movie, she’s also one herself. And it’s too bad Frollo is lusting after her which is creepy.

48. Their love story was a tale as old as time.

Yes, this is Belle and the Beast all right. Love the yellow dress. And that beast doesn't look shabby either.

Yes, this is Belle and the Beast all right. Love the yellow dress. And that beast doesn’t look shabby either.

49. As we know, Pocahontas always tries to be one with nature.

However, she's engaged to be married to a warrior because her dad said so. Then again, Powahatan went through the same deal. Well, he had multiple families in real life.

However, she’s engaged to be married to a warrior because her dad said so. Then again, Powahatan went through the same deal. Well, he had multiple families in real life.

50. Sure Aurora may be the heroine in Sleeping Beauty, but Maleficent makes evil look cool.

I mean there's a reason why Disney made a movie revolving around her. Also, can I tell you she turns into a dragon? Too bad Prince Philip kills her.

I mean there’s a reason why Disney made a movie revolving around her. Also, can I tell you she turns into a dragon? Too bad Prince Philip kills her.

51. Dr. Facilier always has friends on the other side.

He's also known to turn spoiled princes into frogs and making voodoo practitioners look bad. Sorry, but voodoo isn't Satanism.

He’s also known to turn spoiled princes into frogs and making voodoo practitioners look bad. Sorry, but voodoo isn’t Satanism.

52. This slinky costume is always a great idea for a couple.

You know Slinky Dog from Toy Story? Yeah, this is a really cool costume of him if you ask me.

You know Slinky Dog from Toy Story? Yeah, this is a really cool costume of him if you ask me.

53. Remember, Cinderella, have fun and be back home around midnight.

Yes, this is the standard Cinderella ball gown made by the Fairy Godmother. Still, I think the Fairy Godmother should've came earlier when her dad died and called child services. But no one's asking me.

Yes, this is the standard Cinderella ball gown made by the Fairy Godmother. Still, I think the Fairy Godmother should’ve came earlier when her dad died and called child services. But no one’s asking me.

54. Scottish Queen Elinor always tries to look regal.

However, she ends up being turned into a bear because her daughter didn't want to get hitched. Her sons get turned to bears, too.

However, she ends up being turned into a bear because her daughter didn’t want to get hitched. Her sons get turned to bears, too.

55. The Parrs always tend to be a very super powered family.

Yes, this a family dressed as the Incredibles. And the baby is the most dangerous member. Really, Jack Jack actually killed a guy.

Yes, this a family dressed as the Incredibles. And the baby is the most dangerous member. Really, Jack Jack actually killed a guy.

56. Here we have Ariel on the beach after getting legs.

Still, remember, girls, trading your voice for plastic surgery so you can get together with a guy you just met is a really bad idea. Seriously, don't try it.

Still, remember, girls, trading your voice for plastic surgery so you can get together with a guy you just met is a really bad idea. Seriously, don’t try it.

57. Seems like these two are ready to spend a day outside of the castle.

And yet, this is another of Ariel's wardrobe changes. Still, you have to admire Prince Eric's patience with her. Then again, I think his servant seems to be the only guy who has a clue.

And yet, this is another of Ariel’s wardrobe changes. Still, you have to admire Prince Eric’s patience with her. Then again, I think his servant seems to be the only guy who has a clue.

58. Here we find Belle spending a day outside in the snow.

Belle also goes through a few wardrobe changes in Beauty and the Beast. And here she is with a bird.

Belle also goes through a few wardrobe changes in Beauty and the Beast. And here she is with a bird.

59. In Finding Nemo, it’s said that all the tank fish in Dr. Sherman’s office fear Darla.

Because Darla's a girl who's not very good with fish. And yes, she would've ended up killing Nemo if he hadn't gotten himself flushed down a toilet.

Because Darla’s a girl who’s not very good with fish. And yes, she would’ve ended up killing Nemo if he hadn’t gotten himself flushed down a toilet.

60. As we know, Belle certainly looks stunning in green.

I think she wore this outfit when the Beast showed her his library. And yes, she was certainly awed by it despite that he kidnapped her father earlier.

I think she wore this outfit when the Beast showed her his library. And yes, she was certainly awed by it despite that he kidnapped her father earlier.

61. Sometimes you have to let it all go like Queen Elsa.

Except in her case because she ended up causing eternal winter. So maybe that's not a good idea. Then again, she wasn't emotionally healthy to begin with.

Except in her case because she ended up causing eternal winter. So maybe that’s not a good idea. Then again, she wasn’t emotionally healthy to begin with.

62. Seems like Ariel has found herself under Ursula’s spell.

Ariel should've known better than to consult Ursula to give her legs. Seriously, Ursula had a beef with her dad. She was going to use Ariel's voice to steal Eric away from her. Couldn't the girl see that coming?

Ariel should’ve known better than to consult Ursula to give her legs. Seriously, Ursula had a beef with her dad. She was going to use Ariel’s voice to steal Eric away from her. Couldn’t the girl see that coming?

63. Mulan has some skill with a sword thanks to being in the Chinese army.

And here she is hiding in the woods in her blue outfit. I'm sure her parents would be proud of her.

And here she is hiding in the woods in her blue outfit. I’m sure her parents would be proud of her.

64. Those who’ve seen Up can never forget the friendship between Carl and Russell.

These are babies dressed as the two protagonists from Up. It's just so cute it melts your heart.

These are babies dressed as the two protagonists from Up. It’s just so cute it melts your heart.

65. For Aladdin, Abu is always his trusted friend.

Well, Abu is stuffed in this. But I do like Aladdin's outfit though. It's probably from the end.

Well, Abu is stuffed in this. But I do like Aladdin’s outfit though. It’s probably from the end.

66. Oh, shit, Darla already has Nemo in her bag. That’s not good.

Actually this is a mother and baby costume thing. So it's fine. But I think it's pretty clever how they made a tank out of a wagon.

Actually this is a mother and baby costume thing. So it’s fine. But I think it’s pretty clever how they made a tank out of a wagon.

67. In Alice and Wonderland, I kind of think the Caterpillar seemed stoned out of his mind.

However, this is a really good costume. Like how it seems like this woman painted herself green and wore a sleeping bag.

However, this is a really good costume. Like how it seems like this woman painted herself green and wore a sleeping bag.

68. Looks like this quaint house is going up to Paradise Falls.

Now that's a really cute costume. Like how she's wearing balloons on her head. So amazing.

Now that’s a really cute costume. Like how she’s wearing balloons on her head. So amazing.

69. Looks like Russell and Carl have already met Kevin.

Seems like this is Up for the whole family. By the way, Kevin is a girl despite her fancy appearance. Wonder what the male of her species looks like.

Seems like this is Up for the whole family. By the way, Kevin is a girl despite her fancy appearance. Wonder what the male of her species looks like.

70. As Hercules’s love, Megara always plays the damsel in distress.

In the original mythology, Megara doesn't fare well since Hercules kills her in a Hera induced rage. Also, her family is really dysfunctional as she's a kin to Oedipus.

In the original mythology, Megara doesn’t fare well since Hercules kills her in a Hera induced rage. Also, her family is really dysfunctional as she’s a kin to Oedipus.

71. For Woody, there’s no girl he’d rather be with any more than Bo Peep.

Of course, their relationship doesn't last since Bo Peep is later given away. But you have to appreciate them as a couple.

Of course, their relationship doesn’t last since Bo Peep is later given away. But you have to appreciate them as a couple.

72. Seems like this Snow White always has to have roses in her hair.

Well, this is a very dress. I think this look was inspired by the 1500s. Love the ruff and the rose crown.

Well, this is a very dress. I think this look was inspired by the 1500s. Love the ruff and the rose crown.

73. Looks like Ursula messed with the wrong princess in the sea.

That's one of Ursula being covered in starfish when she's about to marry Eric. Now that's just priceless and very creative.

That’s one of Ursula being covered in starfish when she’s about to marry Eric. Now that’s just priceless and very creative.

74. This little princess seems all decked out for the ball.

And she seems so happy in her ball gown, too. Hope she doesn't leave any glass slippers behind.

And she seems so happy in her ball gown, too. Hope she doesn’t leave any glass slippers behind.

75. When it comes to WALL-E’s love, it’s always EVE.

And this costume seems to be made from a plastic trash bin. So cute and creative.

And this costume seems to be made from a plastic trash bin. So cute and creative.

76. Looks like Rapunzel really let down her hair.

Like how the baby's dressed as Rapunzel and the dad's dressed as the tower. Now that's being a great parent. So cute.

Like how the baby’s dressed as Rapunzel and the dad’s dressed as the tower. Now that’s being a great parent. So cute.

77. Not sure if Princess Jasmine should rub that lamp in.

Yeah, I know some guys say she's their favorite Disney princess for obvious reasons. But the lamp belongs to Aladdin though the Genie is really nice.

Yeah, I know some guys say she’s their favorite Disney princess for obvious reasons. But the lamp belongs to Aladdin though the Genie is really nice.

78. Here we have a heartwarming picture of Princess Merida and her mom.

Remember that her mom ate a tart that turned her into a bear. Still, this is pretty good.

Remember that her mom ate a tart that turned her into a bear. Still, this is pretty good.

79. For Aladdin, he’s lived his life on the streets.

Yes, Aladdin's a homeless guy who's lived his life stealing stuff. Still, in his world, he didn't have many options but to live as a street thief.

Yes, Aladdin’s a homeless guy who’s lived his life stealing stuff. Still, in his world, he didn’t have many options but to live as a street thief.

80. Here is the royal duke presenting the missing glass slipper on a pillow.

Well, the duke is thinner in Cinderella. But he sports the same mutton chops.

Well, the duke is thinner in Cinderella. But he sports the same mutton chops.

81. Hey, here’s Emperor Kuzco from the Emperor’s New Groove.

Well, basically this guy starts out as a spoiled brat until Yzma turns him into a llama. But I sure like his outfit.

Well, basically this guy starts out as a spoiled brat until Yzma turns him into a llama. But I sure like his outfit.

82. As we all know, Carl and Ellie had a love that would last a lifetime.

They were childhood sweethearts, after all. Still, though she died before the plot kicked in, at least Ellie was happy with her life for she was with Carl.

They were childhood sweethearts, after all. Still, though she died before the plot kicked in, at least Ellie was happy with her life for she was with Carl.

83. Esmeralda always decks herself in red when dancing for the Feast of Fools.

Unfortunately, this gets Frollo a bit turned on to her. And you really don't want to do that because he's a really bad man.

Unfortunately, this gets Frollo a bit turned on to her. And you really don’t want to do that because he’s a really bad man and an authority figure.

84. Looks like Jasmine seems quite taken with Prince Ali.

To be fair, I think Jasmine knew it was Aladdin the whole freaking time. I mean Aladdin's disguise was just blatantly obvious.

To be fair, I think Jasmine knew it was Aladdin the whole freaking time. I mean Aladdin’s disguise was just blatantly obvious.

85. With this family, who wouldn’t want to be their guest?

Yes, this is a family dressed as characters from Beauty and the Beast. Well, at least the ones at the castle.

Yes, this is a family dressed as characters from Beauty and the Beast. Well, at least the ones at the castle.

86. On the Emperor’s New Groove, who could ever forget Yzma and Kronk?

Sure Yzma can be a real witch with a "secret lab." But Kronk is just so incompetent he's hilarious. Everyone likes him.

Sure Yzma can be a real witch with a “secret lab.” But Kronk is just so incompetent he’s hilarious. Everyone likes him.

87. Seems like Elsa is feeling a bit anxious for her coronation.

Too bad she didn't have access to a good therapist when she was young. I think that might've helped her tremendously.

Too bad she didn’t have access to a good therapist when she was young. I think that might’ve helped her tremendously.

88. All Princess Anna wants is for things to be all right for her sister Elsa.

Unfortunately for her, Elsa has gone so nutty that she nearly gets Anna killed. And it doesn't help that her fiance Hans wants to take over Elsa's kingdom. So there.

Unfortunately for her, Elsa has gone so nutty that she nearly gets Anna killed. And it doesn’t help that her fiance Hans wants to take over Elsa’s kingdom. So there.

89. Apparently, Mary Poppins doesn’t mind if her man is a bit dirty.

It's about time I got to Mary Poppins. That was one of the Disney greats with Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke.

It’s about time I got to Mary Poppins. That was one of the Disney greats with Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke.

90. All WALL-E wants is a little robot love.

WALL-E was such a great movie from Pixar. And this is such a cool costume made from a box.

WALL-E was such a great movie from Pixar. And this is such a cool costume made from a box. Adorable.

91. Theirs was a tale as old as time a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Well, if you imagine Belle as Princess Leia and Chewie as the Beast. Like how they have C-3PO as Lumiere. Brilliant.

Well, if you imagine Belle as Princess Leia and Chewie as the Beast. Like how they have C-3PO as Lumiere. Brilliant.

92. Of course, Gaston has no understanding of the value of books.

He also doesn't have a clue that Belle isn't interested in him. Seriously, Gaston, you have groupies. Marry one of them.

He also doesn’t have a clue that Belle isn’t interested in him. Seriously, Gaston, you have groupies. Marry one of them.

93. When Aurora and Philip met, it was once upon a dream.

To be fair, Prince Philip does more than some of the princes up to that point. But he's still pretty bland.

To be fair, Prince Philip does more than some of the princes up to that point. But he’s still pretty bland.

94. Seems like Rapunzel always likes to put flowers in her hair.

And her long blond hair has a lot of flowers in it. Then again, she's been locked in a tower all her life. So she doesn't have much to do.

And her long blond hair has a lot of flowers in it. Then again, she’s been locked in a tower all her life. So she doesn’t have much to do.

95. To ward of Maleficent, these good fairies are the ones to call.

I tend to think the good fairies are kind of underrated in Sleeping Beauty. Sure they're nice old ladies. But they also have flaws and disagreements. Like dress colors.

I tend to think the good fairies are kind of underrated in Sleeping Beauty. Sure they’re nice old ladies. But they also have flaws and disagreements. Like dress colors.

96. Only Taco Belle can tame the ugly beast of hunger.

Guess she's a stoner's dream if I ever did see one. I listen to too much of the band.

Guess she’s a stoner’s dream if I ever did see one. I listen to too much of the band.

97. Here we have a little beauty and a little beast.

That's just so cute. Here they have a little baby as Belle. And a boxer as the Beast. The dog doesn't seem pleased.

That’s just so cute. Here they have a little baby as Belle. And a boxer as the Beast. The dog doesn’t seem pleased.

98. I think this is the kind of dress for Aurora that would please everyone.

Because why does her dress have to be all one color? Better yet, maybe the fairies should've asked Aurora what color she wanted for her dress.

Because why does her dress have to be all one color? Better yet, maybe the fairies should’ve asked Aurora what color she wanted for her dress.

99. I guess Mulan didn’t impress the matchmaker on her visit.

Sometimes the best costumes are the ones people don't think about. Like this one.

Sometimes the best costumes are the ones people don’t think about. Like this one.

100. All these little green guys are said to be powerless in front of a great and powerful claw.

Because they're stuck in one of those vending machines. Yet, these costumes are so good.

Because they’re stuck in one of those vending machines. Yet, these costumes are so good.

The Whimiscally Mechanical World of Steampunk Costumes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

steam_punk1000

To many, the word “steampunk” has an ambiguous connotations since to describe what it means, you have to go into detail. But if you kind of know what it entails. Well, to put it this way, it’s a subgenre of science fiction or science fantasy that incorporates technology and aesthetic design inspired by 19th century steam powered machinery. Works associated with this subgenre are often associated with alternative history particularly Victorian Britain or the Wild West or in a post apocalyptic future during which steam power has maintained mainstream usage, or in a fantasy world that similarly employs steam power. Though it can be considered Neo-Victorian, steampunk most recognizeably features anachronistic or retro-futuristic inventions as people in the 19th century might’ve envisioned them. And it’s likewise rooted in the era’s perspectives on fashion, culture, architectural style, and art. Technology might even include fictional machines like you’d find in Jules Verne or H.G. Wells. Other technological examples contain alternative-history style presentations like lighter-than-air airships as well as analog or digital mechanical computers. While the term was coined in the 1980s, there are steampunk works of fiction created as far back as the 1950s and 1960s. Many science fiction works in the 19th century could fall under this as well. Nevertheless, common steampunk works usually take place after the American Civil War to the turn of the century. Still, it’s a kind of genre that has a lot of fans that it’s among a subculture that has a presence at conventions and Renaissance Festivals where you’ll see people in such steampunk attire. And here I’ll show some of these costumes to you.

 

  1. While it’s rude to open your umbrella indoors, they didn’t say anything about parasols.
I should note that most Steampunk costumes aren't period accurate, especially women's outfits. While you see some women wear a dress like this, in the 19th century, this would've been viewed as obscene at best.

I should note that most Steampunk costumes aren’t period accurate, especially women’s outfits. While you see some women wear a dress like this, in the 19th century, this would’ve been viewed as obscene at best.

2. While wearing a dress, always make sure your corset is made of leather.

I tend to see a lot of leather corsets here as well which Victorian women didn't wear over their dress. However, I can understand this since wearing a corset in the 19th century was not comfortable.

I tend to see a lot of leather corsets here as well which Victorian women didn’t wear over their dress. However, I can understand this since wearing a corset in the 19th century was not comfortable.

3. In Steampunk, a lady always has to have a utility belt and goggles.

Sometimes you'll see women in Steampunk garb wearing pants, too. Also, short sleeves. In the 19th century, these were fashion no-nos. Though some women did try to defy these rules by wearing bloomers.

Sometimes you’ll see women in Steampunk garb wearing pants, too. Also, short sleeves. In the 19th century, these were fashion no-nos. Though some women did try to defy these rules by wearing bloomers.

4. I hear a metal corset is both stylish and is great for protection.

I do think this outfit is very pretty. However, I wonder how comfortable it is. Probably not suffocating as its 19th century equivalent.

I do think this outfit is very pretty. However, I wonder how comfortable it is. Probably not suffocating as its 19th century equivalent.

5. I’m very confident that this woman can surely fix her man.

Mostly because she has a tool box with her and her boyfriend looks like Iron Man's grandpa. I'm sure there's plenty that could go wrong with him, mechanically speaking.

Mostly because she has a tool box with her and her boyfriend looks like Iron Man’s grandpa. I’m sure there’s plenty that could go wrong with him, mechanically speaking.

6. Well, she seems to have had a lot of work done.

As far as her outfit is concerned that is. Then again, she tends to resemble a 19th century Seven of Nine as a biker chick.

As far as her outfit is concerned that is. Then again, she tends to resemble a 19th century Seven of Nine as a biker chick.

7. I guess this is Her Royal Majesty the Queen of Hearts.

If it's the one from Alice and Wonderland, I'd get the hell out and dodge. Because there's some kind of bloodlust about that woman since she's constantly ordering beheadings.

If it’s the one from Alice and Wonderland, I’d get the hell out and dodge. Because there’s some kind of bloodlust about that woman since she’s constantly ordering beheadings.

8. Sometimes it helps to have the right curls and a shiny dress.

Still, this dress wouldn't pass a traditional Victorian dress code. Too much leg above the ankles. Might've even been mistaken for swimwear.

Still, this dress wouldn’t pass a traditional Victorian dress code. Too much leg above the ankles. Might’ve even been mistaken for swimwear.

9. In Victorian times, it was proper for women to dress in a hoop skirt.

However, in Steampunk, the hoop skirt isn't very wide and isn't always covered. Thus, at some point in the 19th century, she would've been seen as a whore. No offense.

However, in Steampunk, the hoop skirt isn’t very wide and isn’t always covered. Thus, at some point in the 19th century, she would’ve been seen as a whore. No offense. She just would.

10. An antique pistol can always complete a steampunk look.

But it's probably obsolete as a weapon since it takes about a minute to reload once fired. Repeating ammo was a mid 19th century invention.

But it’s probably obsolete as a weapon since it takes about a minute to reload once fired. Repeating ammo was a mid 19th century invention.

11. As far as belts go, feel free to accessorize.

Guess she's never heard of a purse or fanny pack. Then again, the latter term has a very different meaning in Britain which I can't even divulge.

Guess she’s never heard of a purse or fanny pack. Then again, the latter term has a very different meaning in Britain which I can’t even divulge.

12. An eyepatch can always make you look smashing for any occasion.

I guess she's wearing this to look trendy. Still, it's a classic steampunk look with garters, top hat, and leather jacket.

I guess she’s wearing this to look trendy. Still, it’s a classic steampunk look with garters, top hat, and leather jacket.

13. Striped tights are all this outfit needs.

Seems like this is a rather budget friendly outfit. Doesn't seem to take much of an effort.

Seems like this is a rather budget friendly outfit. Doesn’t seem to take much of an effort.

14. Feathers always look great around the collar.

Man, that's a big dress. Wonder if she could get it through the door. Like the feathers though.

Man, that’s a big dress. Wonder if she could get it through the door. Like the feathers though.

15. A steampunk gentleman always has to sport a pair of mutton chops.

Yes, the Victorian Era was a good time for men's facial hair. Walrus whiskers and mutton chops were all the rage.

Yes, the Victorian Era was a good time for men’s facial hair. Walrus whiskers and mutton chops were all the rage.

16. When out, always keep your guns and dagger at your disposal.

Seems like she's dressed if My Fair Lady took place during a zombie apocalypse. Like the goggles on her hat.

Seems like she’s dressed if My Fair Lady took place during a zombie apocalypse. Like the goggles on her hat.

17. Sometimes it helps to have a pistol in handy.

But whether it can fire multiple rounds is the question. Still, I do like her outfit even though I don't like guns.

But whether it can fire multiple rounds is the question. Still, I do like her outfit even though I don’t like guns.

18. When in doubt, go for a big barreled revolver.

Man, that's a huge revolver.Like her peacock blue dress. And her peacock hat.

Man, that’s a huge revolver.Like her peacock blue dress. And her peacock hat.

19. There as never an excuse to show up less than well-dressed.

Because if you have to kill zombies it wouldn't be polite to put just anything on. A man has to look presentable.

Because if you have to kill zombies it wouldn’t be polite to put just anything on. A man has to look presentable.

20. A top hat can always use a few feathers now and then.

I guess those are from turkeys. Wonder if she shot any with that revolver. Probably not because it's a mere prop.

I guess those are from turkeys. Wonder if she shot any with that revolver. Probably not because it’s a mere prop.

21. Nothing makes you look like a magician like wearing a red cloak and top hat.

Well, a red cloak and top hat sure look smashing on anyone. And I'm sure it looks pretty on her, too.

Well, a red cloak and top hat sure look smashing on anyone. And I’m sure it looks pretty on her, too.

22. From the North Pole, I bring you Santa and Mrs. Claus from the 19th century.

Then again, a steampunk North Pole kind of makes sense, considering what Saint Nick has for his workload. Oddly Mrs. Claus isn't wearing red and green.

Then again, a steampunk North Pole kind of makes sense, considering what Saint Nick has for his workload. Oddly Mrs. Claus isn’t wearing red and green.

23. The feather in your hat always has to match your dress on a good day.

Now I really like this dress. Love the peacock blue jacket with lace and the matching skirt.

Now I really like this dress. Love the peacock blue jacket with lace and the matching skirt.

24. Pink hair always stands out when wearing a black dress.

She looks simply stunning. Still, I think she either dyed it or it's a wig. Like the hat though.

She looks simply stunning. Still, I think she either dyed it or it’s a wig. Like the hat though.

25. A steampunk mom doesn’t let her kids keep her from having adventures.

This is so precious. Love how this mom put her kid in goggles and a baby bjorn. So adorable.

This is so precious. Love how this mom put her kid in goggles and a baby bjorn. So adorable.

26. In the latest in steampunk couture, I give you the “rusty brown look.”

Then again, a lot of steampunk fashion has rusty brown. But she also wears a lot of leather, too.

Then again, a lot of steampunk fashion has rusty brown. But she also wears a lot of leather, too.

27. Sometimes you have to dress in the proper apparel to climb up a ladder.

Now this is quite scantily clad. But you can get this a lot when looking for steampunk costumes for a blog post.

Now this is quite scantily clad. But you can get this a lot when looking for steampunk costumes for a blog post.

28. Parents always know that it helps to start them out young.

Yes, these are Steampunk kids with mechanical pets. And yes, it's so adorable. I guess their parents must be dressed in steampunk, too.

Yes, these are Steampunk kids with mechanical pets. And yes, it’s so adorable. I guess their parents must be dressed in steampunk, too.

29. A large dress ought to have a lot of shimmer.

This is a lovely dress. I guess she's raising her skirt for the camera. Wonder what that pattern is.

This is a lovely dress. I guess she’s raising her skirt for the camera. Wonder what that pattern is.

30. All a girl needs is a big gun and a heavy duty leather belt.

Seems to have a lot of gears on her tool bet. And yes, that revolver looks quite large if you ask me.

Seems to have a lot of gears on her tool bet. And yes, that revolver looks quite large if you ask me.

31. I guess this is a lady doctor, perhaps.

And she seems like a plague doctor at that. After all, she has a stethescope, gloves, and a mask that makes her look like Big Bird's evil twin.

And she seems like a plague doctor at that. After all, she has a stethescope, gloves, and a mask that makes her look like Big Bird’s evil twin.

32. Didn’t know that there were any steampunk ninjas around.

Then again, she could just be a Muslim who's really into steampunk. We must not judge.

Then again, she could just be a Muslim who’s really into steampunk. We must not judge.

33. I guess you can count this guy among the hard of hearing.

Because he sure has one hell of an ear trumpet. Nevertheless, he really knows how to dress in a snazzy outfit.

Because he sure has one hell of an ear trumpet. Nevertheless, he really knows how to dress in a snazzy outfit.

34. A proper lady always looks so lovely in a dress of lace.

Yes, she simply looks stunning in a lovely lace dress and white corset. But I like her peacock blue scarf the best.

Yes, she simply looks stunning in a lovely lace dress and white corset. But I like her peacock blue scarf the best.

35. Why have a jet pack when a propeller will do just as well?

I don't think it will help him fly. But you have to like him in a bowler hat and a ZZTop beard.

I don’t think it will help him fly. But you have to like him in a bowler hat and a ZZTop beard.

36. This Snow White comes with her own big stick.

I guess it's for getting all the woodland creatures to help her clean up. Oh, wait, she does it with her singing. Why did Disney lie to us about that?

I guess it’s for getting all the woodland creatures to help her clean up. Oh, wait, she does it with her singing. Why did Disney lie to us about that?

37. A white dress always goes well with a leather corset.

Yes, this is a steampunk dress all right. Like her butterfly necklace and goggles.

Yes, this is a steampunk dress all right. Like her butterfly necklace and goggles.

38. This dress can use a little brass.

Well, they always said she was a bit brassy. They just didn't say in what way.

Well, they always said she was a bit brassy. They just didn’t say in what way.

39. Striped stockings, leather, and goggles always go well with everything.

To her, she looks like some daring adventuress. To some Victorian gentlemen, what she looks like I can't describe in polite company.

To her, she looks like some daring adventuress. To some Victorian gentlemen, what she looks like I can’t describe in polite company.

40. A lady should never leave her house without her camera.

Well, she has a Brownie Box camera from Kodak which is from the early 20th century. Still, she sure looks stunning in that dress.

Well, she has a Brownie Box camera from Kodak which is from the early 20th century. Still, she sure looks stunning in that dress.

41. I guess this woman is donned in her steampunk dress beyond the grave.

Yes, this is a Steampunk zombie girl. Looks deathly pale as if she's had the life sucked out of her.

Yes, this is a Steampunk zombie girl. Looks deathly pale as if she’s had the life sucked out of her.

42. Sometimes all a girl needs is to carry a big torch.

Not sure if it will light up or should be. But she sure looks happy. Must be that she has a big torch in her hands.

Not sure if it will light up or should be. But she sure looks happy. Must be that she has a big torch in her hands.

43. Guess this woman is a real Foxface.

Because she has the face of a fox. And she seems to prefer hanging in hiding places.

Because she has the face of a fox. And she seems to prefer hanging in hiding places.

44. I’m sure there’s nothing this steampunk couple can’t handle.

And these two are as badass as they are stunning. Like their hats.

And these two are as badass as they are stunning. Like their hats.

45. No proper gentleman should ever go without a respectable hat.

This is especially when it has goggles on it. And a nice spiffy suit to go along with it.

This is especially when it has goggles on it. And a nice spiffy suit to go along with it.

46. Who says that steampunk costume colors had to be dull?

And it seems these outfits are more colorful than most. Like the guy in the

And it seems these outfits are more colorful than most. Like the guy in the red vest and yellow tie.

47. I guess this is an old veteran British police officer.

Well, a steampunk version anyway. Since I've watched a lot of Monty Python, I couldn't resist adding this on the post.

Well, a steampunk version anyway. Since I’ve watched a lot of Monty Python, I couldn’t resist adding this on the post.

48. A lady always has as a gun in handy just in case.

Out of all the women's costumes on this post, this one actually comes close to what a Victorian lady would actually dress like. Well, from the 1870s to 1880s anyway since it contains a bustle.

Out of all the women’s costumes on this post, this one actually comes close to what a Victorian lady would actually dress like. Well, from the 1870s to 1880s anyway since it contains a bustle.

49. This woman tends to prefer it under water.

Well, this is a steampunk diving outfit for women. As you see, it's very impractical since it's a combination of a old timey diving suit and a Victorian swimsuit.

Well, this is a steampunk diving outfit for women. As you see, it’s very impractical since it’s a combination of a old timey diving suit and a Victorian swimsuit.

50. Wonder if this fairy came with these wings or made them herself.

This is a steampunk fairy. You get a lot of them. Like her dress if you ask me though.

This is a steampunk fairy. You get a lot of them. Like her dress if you ask me though.

51. When you’re an eccentric inventor, who cares what your hair looks like.

Sure she looks very pretty in her steampunk attire. But in the 19th century, many people wouldn't find her hairstyle acceptable by any means.

Sure she looks very pretty in her steampunk attire. But in the 19th century, many people wouldn’t find her hairstyle acceptable by any means.

52. I guess this woman is a force to be reckoned with under the sea in her submarine.

Well, this is a cosplay scene I have to admit. However, I wouldn't be surprised if she's the girlfriend of Captain Nemo. Because she's perfect for the guy.

Well, this is a cosplay scene I have to admit. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the girlfriend of Captain Nemo. Because she’s perfect for the guy.

53. A proper woman can always look resplendant in purple.

Well, she's technically wearing maroon, but still. She does look pretty. Even with a matching dress and top hat.

Well, she’s technically wearing maroon, but still. She does look pretty. Even with a matching dress and top hat.

54. As they say, have gun, will travel.

I'm sure this was inspired by Wild Wild West or any other steampunk western. How could I guess?

I’m sure this was inspired by Wild Wild West or any other steampunk western. How could I guess?

55. Sometimes you have to face that some guys like a woman covered in gear.

And she's certainly covered in gears all right. I think she's going to need someone to fix her. And oil her. And maintain her.

And she’s certainly covered in gears all right. I think she’s going to need someone to fix her. And oil her. And maintain her.

56. I guess this must be the house of a doctor and his wife.

And I see the man is dressed like Big Bird's evil twin getting ready for a fancy dress ball. But that mask also seems made out of metal.

And I see the man is dressed like Big Bird’s evil twin getting ready for a fancy dress ball. But that mask also seems made out of metal.

57. Sometimes a well dressed man needs a goatee, sunglasses, and fancy patterns.

Note that sunglasses didn't exist until the 1920s. But they still look cool with 19th century clothing so I really don't care that much.

Note that sunglasses didn’t exist until the 1920s. But they still look cool with 19th century clothing so I really don’t care that much.

58. Seems like these two appear to have decided to strike it out west.

And the setting seems to prove it. Then again, they could be cosplaying for Comic Con.

And the setting seems to prove it. Then again, they could be cosplaying for Comic Con.

59. Looks like some gentleman has decided to go on a safari in Africa.

And he seems to have a safari hat and everything save for some luggage and porters. But you can get the porters in Africa.

And he seems to have a safari hat and everything save for some luggage and porters. But you can get the porters in Africa.

60. No able adventuress could ever leave her home without a pair of goggles.

And she seems to wear her shirtwaist like a professional. But love her goggles and hat.

And she seems to wear her shirtwaist like a professional. But love her goggles and hat.

61. A gentleman must always come prepared for whatever awaits him.

Yes, he seems armed and ready for action. Wonder what's on his back though. Is it a large telescope?

Yes, he seems armed and ready for action. Wonder what’s on his back though. Is it a large telescope?

62. Who needs to adorn yourself with diamonds when you have gears?

You can bet she's dressed to the nines and her costume isn't cheap. Like how it's black leather trimmed with fur.

You can bet she’s dressed to the nines and her costume isn’t cheap. Like how it’s black leather trimmed with fur.

63. As far as her attire is concerned, this lady is all gold plated with metal.

Not sure if it makes her a steampunk C-3PO. But she does have a clock on her chest to tell the time of day.

Not sure if it makes her a steampunk C-3PO. But she does have a clock on her chest to tell the time of day.

64. Looks like this baby is all dressed up and ready for action.

Yes, this is a baby in a steampunk costume which is so adorable. The teddy is even dressed up as well.

Yes, this is a baby in a steampunk costume which is so adorable. The teddy is even dressed up as well.

65. Sometimes we can all use a break now and then.

Even if you're decked out in metal with possible mechanical arms. Like the pipe design and hat.

Even if you’re decked out in metal with possible mechanical arms. Like the pipe design and hat.

66. Occasionally, there are gentlemen who can be quite over the top about their hair.

Not sure what's in his guy's hair. I'm sure they're not extensions. Still, he certainly rocks in that suit.

Not sure what’s in his guy’s hair. I’m sure they’re not extensions. Still, he certainly rocks in that suit.

67. This little fairy apparently seems to have had work done.

Yes, this is a little girl steampunk fairy and her dog. And yes, I think you'll find it heartwarming and touching.

Yes, this is a little girl steampunk fairy and her dog. And yes, I think you’ll find it heartwarming and touching.

68. Egad, I guess this man realized he’s running late.

And he seems well dressed for the occasion with his long purple overcoat. Let's hope the gear doesn't damage it.

And he seems well dressed for the occasion with his long purple overcoat. Let’s hope the gear doesn’t damage it.

69. Occasionally, there are times when a lady must lift up her skirt.

Or skirts, since 19th century women wore a lot of them at one time at least in the early Victorian era. Like her corset though.

Or skirts, since 19th century women wore a lot of them at one time at least in the early Victorian era. Like her corset though.

70. Whatever his faults may be, this man will always give you the time of day.

Because he's wearing a clock on his head. Wonder if it works. Probably not. But it looks cool so who cares.

Because he’s wearing a clock on his head. Wonder if it works. Probably not. But it looks cool so who cares.

71. A gentleman of action has to be prepared for the worst.

And I see the man has a pistol and rifle just in case. Not sure if he's Victorian or from a western though.

And I see the man has a pistol and rifle just in case. Not sure if he’s Victorian or from a western though.

72. I guess this is a lady who’s only trying to catch a train.

Luckily, she has plenty of ways to know the time. That is if the station's clock isn't working.

Luckily, she has plenty of ways to know the time. That is if the station’s clock isn’t working.

73. Looks like it’s the 19th century back a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

You didn't think I was going to leave out a steampunk version of Star Wars. Course I wouldn't. Like the Vader costume though.

You didn’t think I was going to leave out a steampunk version of Star Wars. Course I wouldn’t. Like the Vader costume though.

74. There is never an excuse not to dress as a pretty purple peacock.

After all, purple is considered a rather elegant color. Don't you think?

After all, purple is considered a rather elegant color. Don’t you think?

75. As they say, black is always a color of taste and elegance.

And it's a color that can look good on almost anyone. At least given the right kind of fabric.

And it’s a color that can look good on almost anyone. At least given the right kind of fabric.

76. When there’s something strange in the neighborhood, call these gentlemen at your service.

Indeed, these are steampunk Ghostbusters. And no, they're not afraid of no ghosts. Like the packs by the way.

Indeed, these are steampunk Ghostbusters. And no, they’re not afraid of no ghosts. Like the packs by the way.

77. Guess Honest Abe has found a new way to deliver his Gettysburg Address.

However, most steampunk works usually take place after he died. Nevertheless, this is a pretty cool costume.

However, most steampunk works usually take place after he died. Nevertheless, this is a pretty cool costume.

78. Mind if this lady takes a trip to the seashore?

Because even ladies need a break now and then. Then again, that dress doesn't seem suited for summer weather if you ask me.

Because even ladies need a break now and then. Then again, that dress doesn’t seem suited for summer weather if you ask me. But it’s lovely.

79. Sometimes a dress can always look smashing in pink and purple.

However, be aware that this woman is an assassin. So tread lightly within her presence. Unless you're her target, then run like hell.

However, be aware that this woman is an assassin. So tread lightly within her presence. Unless you’re her target, then run like hell.

80. Indeed, there are some ladies who prefer a metal plated gentleman.

And there are some gentlemen who are quite taken with a lady in feathers. To each his own, I guess.

And there are some gentlemen who are quite taken with a lady in feathers. To each his own, I guess.

America Needs to Dump Trump

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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I know that I’ve been trying to avoid this subject for some time since it pertains to politics within an election year. But since Donald Trump is now the presumptive GOP nominee for president, I can no longer keep my mouth shut, not only as a Catholic social justice liberal but as an American citizen. I know people won’t like what I have to say about this, especially among my friends and family. Yet, I think my opinion on this situation is what Americans need to hear. Like many people, when Donald Trump announced his candidacy, I laughed it off thinking he probably won’t last very long since I found the idea simply preposterous. However, once people started taking him seriously and voting, his candidacy stopped being funny very quickly for me. In fact, he’s what John Oliver would call him as “America’s black mole,” because, “It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s become frighteningly bigger, it’s no longer wise to ignore it.” The idea that people would vote for this clown despite being such an embarrassment and national disgrace to this country with all the nasty stuff he’s said just scares the living shit out of me. I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind ever voting for this guy and I thought the American people knew better than to vote for a guy I clearly see as nothing but a complete fraud whose support is based on spectacle and telling what people want to hear even if it means resorting to outright bigotry and denigrating the ideals this country stands for. Despite the slogan, Trump isn’t the candidate who’d make American great again. He’s a guy who’d make America anything but great and possibly have liberals like me view the George W. Bush administration with nostalgia. And that presidency was a disaster with 9/11, two wars in the Middle East, Enron, the Plame Affair, Hurricane Katrina, tax cuts for the rich, the 2008 crash, No Child Left Behind, and more. To me, Donald Trump is an electoral fungus with cotton candy hair whose campaign represents the US at its worst. He is a spoiled and selfish brat and an unapologetic bully who I have absolutely no respect for not only as a candidate for president, but also as a human being. He is a man I cannot trust. Nor is he a man I think sets a good example for our country. And it’s because of these reasons and more I don’t believe that Trump should ever be president.

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Donald Trump’s rallies have attracted a considerable turnout during primary season no matter how outlandish, ridiculous, and offensive he gets. Sure he’s a celebrity and a reality show host. But even before he ran for president I thought him as a complete turd. And I don’t understand why anyone could even support a candidate who has proven time and time again to be nothing but.

As you might’ve heard, the bulk of Trump supporters include working class whites who show up to his rallies in record numbers. Many of them tend to feel ignored by the politicians in Washington as well as feel that they’re in desperate situations with downward spiraling lives. I admit that working class whites haven’t had it very good since the 1980s with outsourcing and deindustrialization causing the loss of good jobs that were replaced by new ones that barely paid the rent as well as blighted cities. Not to mention, many of the jobs that replaced the ones that went are poverty level and non-union. Yes, I feel for these people and I’m very aware that they’ve been screwed by big corporations and Wall Street. I also understand why many working class whites tend to blame the poor and minority groups, which Donald Trump greatly exploits. However, what working class whites are actually doing is shooting themselves in the foot by embracing Trump and all he stands for.

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Whenever I see signs like these on people’s properties, I tend to wonder why on earth would anyone want to support this guy. I know many of Donald Trump’s supporters are working class whites, but still I keep asking myself that question. I can find nothing about this guy that suggests he’s presidential material or even a decent human being. And yet, no matter how many contemptible things he’s said, he’s somehow popular that people vote for him. This makes me sick.

Yes, I know working class whites are hurting and I feel for them. But so are minorities who are in the same situation with racism and discrimination to boot. Many of them work the degrading jobs for the same wages are just as equally unhappy with their situation as their white counterparts. Many undocumented immigrants have it just as bad, if not worse. While many people tend to criticize poor blacks for going on welfare, we should accept that there are plenty of working class whites on public assistance as well. And a lot welfare recipients white and minority alike have jobs, sometimes more than one. While there’s said to be a lot of crime and drug use in the inner cities, you can also say the same in rural Appalachia. Working class whites might see similar disadvantaged groups as “the other” as different from them and see anything that aims to support their interests as something to oppose. However, what working class whites need to realize is that these people of color aren’t much different from them, especially in their economic situations. As someone descended from working class whites, I see the poor and racial minorities as my brothers and sisters as well as support movements like Black Lives Matter and a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants, not just because it’s right and a way to stay true to my faith. But also that a lot of policies benefiting racial minorities also help poor and working class whites. And American history is full of examples to support this. Reconstruction not only expanded suffrage to African Americans but also to Southern whites who weren’t able to vote before the Civil War. It was also a time when both blacks and whites in the South first had access to public schools as well. You have the West Virginia mine wars during the early 1900s where black and white miners alike fought for the right to unionize as well as better wages and working conditions and an end to unfair company practices. Then there’s union organizer Walter Reuther’s support for the Civil Rights Movement and his marching with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. since both saw the causes of civil rights and economic justice as intertwined. And the fact that these two ideas are intertwined with one another should be a reason why working class whites should support Black Lives Matter and a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants.

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Here we have the super rich superdick at a rally in Mobile, Alabama among cheering crowds which make me cringe. Seriously, I thought the American people were better than to support a guy like Donald Trump. The guy is a complete prick and a sleaze on top of that. Why the hell could anyone seriously support this guy as president? I can’t understand this.

It’s a shame that many working class whites are willing to accept the economic status quo that’s screwing them, support men like Donald Trump, and blame their downward spiraling lives on the poor and people of color. I know it may not be something working class whites might not want to hear but even though I sympathize with their plight, the bigotry, xenophobia, and racism that many embrace has got to go. All what embracing Trump’s racist rhetoric does for working class whites is make them look like a bunch of ignorant rednecks supporting a candidate against their own best interests as well as makes the powers that be not take their concerns seriously. Yes, I know that many of these voters are unsettled by cultural and demographic change, but the US has been through this before and it’s nothing to be worried about. I know many of these people are unsettled over Obama’s ongoing transformation of the US as something no longer recognizably American. But previous generations have faced the same thing under other presidents and responded to backlash against changes the exact same way. What these people see as “recognizably American” either never really existed or was much shittier than you remember. I’m sorry but I don’t want to live through another Bush administration. Even though Obamacare isn’t Universal Healthcare and flawed, at least it’s better than what we had before and I do not want to go back to the old system. The fact that the Democratic Party supports rights for women, LGBT people, and racial minorities is not their problem. Their main problem is their tendency to compromise and downplay their sacred principles in favor of much needed campaign contributions from wealthy donors and corporations, especially thanks to Citizens United. This is especially true when it pertains to Democratic principles pertaining to labor rights, corporate regulation, health and safety, taxing the rich, and environmental protection. But I have to admit that Barack Obama has been a good president for this country and I’d hate to see him go. At least Democrats support policies like free pre-K, affordable childcare, equal pay for women, and paid leave. Not to mention, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are both viable candidates in their own right and I can see why anyone reasonable would support either of them.

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Many people support Trump because they think he “tells it like it is.” If so, then how come Politifact has no true statements on his file? Not only that, but they made him Liar of the Year for 2015. Kind of shows what a phony he is.

I’ve often heard that many Donald Trump supporters believe that he’s not afraid to tell it like it is or be honest. I find that hard to believe since I’ve long known him to be a spoiled rich brat who’s a shameless opportunist and self-promoter. If there is any candidate in this election who has the guts to tell it like it is, my money is on Vermont US Senator Bernie Sanders and I can understand why so many people love him for it. Sanders might be a self-described democratic socialist but he mostly believes what he says and has a pretty good idea on what he wants to do if he’s elected president with plenty of detailed policies to back it up. If I saw a herd of working class whites fill a stadium at a Bernie Sanders rally, I wouldn’t question their judgement since Sanders seems like a guy who supports policies that benefit the little guy. Of course, he’s not perfect, his policies may not be realistic, and doesn’t have a chance in hell to win the Democratic nomination, but at least his appeal to many Democrats makes a lot of sense.

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This painting of Donald Trump is by someone from San Francisco. It depicts the wretched presidential candidate holding money in one hand, making a Nazi salute with the other, and having a pile of shit coming out of his mouth plopped onto the US. I think it shows the idea I’ve long suspected in that Trump is full of shit.

Donald Trump, on the other hand, is mostly speaking to people’s frustrations and anxieties by telling them what they want to hear. Telling people that the way to “make America great again” is to deport 11 million people with ease isn’t “telling them like it is.” It’s lying on multiple levels. He also talks about how his standing as a “businessman” makes him an “outsider.” So unlike traditional politicians in Washington who are bought and paid for, he “can’t be bought.” However, we have to acknowledge that Trump has been a member of the 1% his entire life who wouldn’t be the man he is today if he wasn’t born into one of the wealthiest families in the country. Sure big money in politics is a major problem and the notion of politicians being bought and paid for by wealthy donors is part of how Washington conducts business as usual. Yet, understand that Trump is a massive hypocrite who’s bought and paid for politicians himself. Despite what he claims, he’s not funding his campaign all by himself for he probably has his share of wealthy backers. So he’s very much part of the political establishment. But even if most lawmakers were controlled by their contributors, the idea Trump could somehow move our system through sheer force of un-bought will is utter crap. It constitutes much of his candidacy’s Big Lie: never mind the policy details, never mind the separation of powers, and never mind the profound disagreements between the parties. Everything will be easy and terrific. Except in politics, accomplishing anything in politics is everything but easy and terrific. He’s not telling you like it is. He’s telling you like it isn’t. When he’s telling it like it is, he’s really conning people into voting for him by telling them what they want to hear or what will entertain them. He’s playing for an audience by appealing to voters’ frustrations, insensitivities, and other unsavory emotions. He is not like you. He cares nothing about you for all Donald Trump cares about is Donald Trump. You are his potential pawn to be used to get what he wants. His candidacy is only a reality show based on the public image he’s created and cultivated for decades that’s all spectacle that satiates a bloodlust and structured insanity. But behind that façade, there’s very little substance. While most presidential candidates typically draft detailed policies that they intend to pursue if elected, Trump has released very few. All the things he said he’d do just sound like simplistic bullshit by a guy who seems completely unconcerned about the implications in order to accomplish them. All delivered with the kind of maniacal overconfidence that’s seen as almost delusional. He not only lies his ass off but doubles downs on those lies. He denies long established facts most people accept even by experts in their field such as that New Jersey Muslims weren’t cheering on 9/11, vaccines don’t cause autism, Obama was born in the US, and global warming isn’t a hoax perpetuated by China to close US factories. Furthermore, it’s widely said that Trump doesn’t understand how government operates, advisers or no advisers. His foreign policy team has been described as “a collection of charlatans.” In debates, it’s been revealed that he didn’t know what a nuclear triad was (it’s a doomsday force of land based missiles, long range bombers, and submarine-launched missiles that the President can order if the US is attacked). Nor did he know that China wasn’t a party to the Trans-Pacific Partnership which is intended to counter the country’s economic influence. Not to mention, Trump has been known to change his political views like one would change their socks. This is not what you’d want in a presidential candidate.

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Here’s a Twitter chat between Donald Trump and Coach Clint Swan about the Boston Marathon bombers and the Central Park 5 (black and Hispanic teenage boys who were falsely accused and falsely convicted of raping and attacking a jogger along with a few others in 1989. It was a gross miscarriage of justice that was mired in racial discrimination, emotional distress, and malicious prosecution). This shows that Trump is a very insensitive jerk and his racism is nothing new. What an asshole.

As for his public image, Donald Trump has built it around a bully persona pertaining to bombast, bluntness, and offending people. Unfortunately, it turns out that a lot of primary voters are attracted to jerks as long as their vitriol is directed toward the right people, even if it means inciting violence against protestors at his rallies. His supporters cheer when he insults immigrants, Mexicans, Muslims, women, other politicos, POWs and even the occasional Fox News host (but not in a good way at all). His supporters will tell you that he doesn’t bow to political correctness. Maybe, but perhaps he should. They’d also tell you that Trump says what people wish they could say. If by “people,” you mean “racists,” since Trump isn’t afraid to call Mexicans criminals and racists, promises to kick every Muslim out of America, ridiculed a reporter for being disabled, called POWs losers for getting captured, and said of a black protestor, “Maybe he should have been roughed up because it was absolutely disgusting what he was doing.” But only those from the white supremacy and white nationalists groups who back him are willing to admit that he’s the voice they always wanted since he’s mainstreaming such bigotry throughout the race, especially when many of his supporters believe in the notion of “white racism” which doesn’t even exist. And it doesn’t help that Trump hesitated to disavow David Duke and the Klu Klux Klan. But the closet racists of the country know what they believe in is ignorant bullshit who don’t want to risk becoming pariahs for exposing their bullshit. His bully persona has also made him exceedingly popular with people who believe he represents American ideals, especially the American promise of success being represented by great wealth (I’ll get to this later), which is troubling. The fact that millions of people are seriously willing to vote for this fuckwad as president disturbs me even more. Now I don’t expect my politicians to necessarily be saints. But I do wish that they’d have some capacity for basic human decency in public appearances.

However, we have to acknowledge that Donald Trump is an exceptionally shitty human being whose capacity for basic human decency is practically non-existent. He’s a trust fund baby with an aggressive competitive drive, an ego the size of Texas, and an inability to take criticism or a joke despite that he’s a walking and talking cartoon character. He’s a bully who takes any attacks against him and jokes at his expense personally and with a vicious streak. One woman was kicked off of Last Comic Standing because she made fun of Trump’s hair. He even threw a hissy fit over some magazine talking about his tiny hands. Really? Throughout his life he has continually asserted his sense of spoiled rich kid superiority with only the barest hint of doubt. He’s a thriced-married serial philanderer who treats the women in his life as objects, is well-known to make women uncomfortable around him, and openly admitted on national TV that he wants to bang his daughter. Yes, he said this. He’s a draft dodger who called John McCain a loser for being a prisoner of war in Vietnam for 5 years. His name is synonymous with success defined by wealth and luxury that wouldn’t have been possible if he wasn’t a trust fund baby who received an Ivy League education on his family name. Though he claims to be a successful businessman, he is anything but (I’ll get to this later). He has no class and wants to beat and grind adversaries to the ground. And no matter how much offensive, divisive, and destructive his rhetoric can be, he’s never ashamed, he’s never humble, he’s never gracious, and never apologizes. As for friends, well, he’s openly praised Vladimir Putin calling him “a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond” despite that Putin is highly feared and known to leave a trail of invaded countries and dead journalists. And it doesn’t help that his penchant for being an unrepentant asshole with a goofy toupee that it’s no wonder he’s been referred by Jon Stewart as “Fuckface Von Clownstick” as well as such a complete joke of a man that comedians find him so irresistible to mock. The fact Trump’s voracious hunger for fame, wealth, and power combined with his hideous muppet hair and morally bankrupt personality just gives the comics more ammunition to mock him. In short, he’s not a guy you’d want your child to look up to since he sets a very poor example to children since he makes Richard Nixon look like a boy scout. Fuckface Von Clownstick, indeed.

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While Donald Trump often says he’s a great businessman, he’s had a string of business failures seen here. While Trump often tries to brad his name as high class, it has repeatedly come to mean shoddy work, half-baked schemes, and sketchy characters. This is from a conservative website by the way.

Another thing that you hear from Donald Trump supporters is notion that Trump would make a good president because he’s a good businessman. However, not all great businessmen make great politicians and vice versa. Besides, while the goals for business are to make money, the goals of government are far more complex so being CEO of a major corporation is nothing like being President of the United States. And contrary to his claims, Trump is not a great businessman. Yes, he wrote The Art of the Deal that doesn’t mean he’s a great businessman. After all, some people from write relationship advice despite being shitty in relationships. But deal making and promotion are only part of being a successful businessman. And I’m sure these two aspects Trump masters beautifully. But he’s not a great operator and most business usually consists of overseeing day-to-day details that require the attention. Trump usually leads the running and operating on locations to managers he hires. Day-to-day details don’t interest him. His Atlantic City casino ventures went bankrupt 4 times and was forced to sell his other businesses like Trump Airways all of which employed thousands of people (Rolling Stone lists 13 of his business failures in all). In his offices, there are 2 or 3 floors at Trump Tower that might have 40 or 50 people in them. Sure he’s wealthy now. But that’s because he inherited a lucrative family business. And he only achieved real success when he turned from real estate development to franchising his name for other developers’ projects. That and his ethically questionable business practices. His for-profit Trump University is now being investigated for fraud. His earnings may be smaller than he says they are. His name on offerings like furniture, neckties, steaks, magazines, alcohol and other beverages, air travel, board games, fragrances, telecommunications, mortgages, and more which is said to stand for high class, high quality, and high cost. But a lot of these ventures failed and Trump is partially responsible for that. Thus, in practice the Trump brand has often repeatedly stood for half-baked schemes, shoddy work, and sketchy characters. Now thanks to him calling all Mexicans rapists and criminals, Macy’s has discontinued his line of menswear that it carried for 11 years and whose ties I’ve sorted during the 2014 Christmas season for a measly $8 an hour. Despite that Trump likes to brag about his success as a businessman, he is not a self-made man nor a man you’d trust to run your business venture. If Trump has refused to release his tax returns, chances are that he’s probably not as rich and successful as he makes himself out to be. And if he’s not interested in the day-to-day details of running his business, he’s probably not going to be interested in the day-to-day details of running the US Government. At the end of the day, he’s not the successful businessman but a trust fund baby who got really lucky.

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Here’s a diagram from the Onion on Donald Trump’s latest casino bankruptcies listing the reasons for their failure. And yes, it acknowledges that Trump inherited most of his money.

Finally, the main reason why Donald Trump should be president has to do with the fact that most Americans who know him don’t like him even within the Republican Party and his hometown of New York City. As a celebrity, he’s more of a guy most people love to hate and make fun of as a joke. That is until he ran for president and people started taking him seriously as a candidate. As a blogger and a liberal Democrat, I am free to say what I want about Trump and not get the short end of the stick. The Donald doesn’t know who I am. And if he gets angry on what I say about him, it’s just going to make him look like an idiot since I’m just a small-time blogger with a small following. But others don’t have the same luxury. If you pay attention, you might be aware that the Bush family and Mitt Romney don’t like him at all. The Koch brothers don’t care for him either and decided not to back him for now. The National Review did a piece on why Republicans shouldn’t vote for him. Noted pundit Glenn Beck has steadfastly opposed Trump saying, “I don’t want my children to look at that man and say, ‘Yeah, he’s my President.’ I won’t have that. I will not endorse it, I will not tolerate it.” This is coming a guy who had his own show on Fox News that made him notorious for crazy antics that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert mercilessly mocked until he was fired from the network. Nebraska freshman Senator Bob Sasse has even written a long Facebook post explaining he’s not backing Trump as well. Radio host Erick Erickson decided not to endorse Trump, because he’d rather, “put my country before my party and decline to help the voters in this country commit national suicide.” Leon Wolf from Redstate even went further saying that while he thinks Hillary would make a terrible president, he genuinely believes that she’d be way better than Trump.

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This is a poll from Suffolk University and USA Today on what words best describes Donald Trump. Despite his own delusional self-grandeur, most people think the man is a jerk. This isn’t what you want in a presidential candidate.

Politicians who’ve had decided the back Trump, have only been willing to do so for the “good of the party” since he’s the presumptive nominee. Or back in the primaries, he’s the frontrunner and probably want Trump to do something for them, don’t want to be seen supporting Hillary Clinton, or feel their jobs depend on it. Take Chris Christie for instance whom Stephen Colbert likened to “a best man at a wedding he doesn’t believe in” when he endorsed the guy. John McCain has also endorsed him despite how Trump said that he’s not a war hero because he got captured in Vietnam. McCain would go on to say that Trump owed former POWs and their families an apology because these guys have dealt with a lot of shit. But McCain’s endorsement is understandable because he’s in a tight reelection battle in Arizona. But a private recording reveals he’s not happy about it and thinks backing him will hurt his chances. New Hampshire US Senator Kelly Ayotte says she’ll support him but not endorse him since she’s also in a tight reelection battle. I’m sure this means, “I’m playing it safe because I don’t want to alienate my GOP supporters in the primary but I don’t think endorsing the guy is going to help me in November.” Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval is another guy who’s backing him but only for the good of the party. Yet, he’s clearly not a fan and doesn’t plan to attend the convention. Finally, we have South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham who said the day when Trump won Indiana, “If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed…….and we will deserve it.” This guy hates Trump so much that he even endorsed Ted Cruz despite previously likening the choice between the two as one between being poisoned and being shot. Recently, CNN has reported Graham has privately urged donors to unify around him though he hasn’t really endorsed him publicly yet. Guess it’s for the good of the party.

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Here is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie behind Donald Trump after he endorsed the guy for president. Notice the look on his face. Is that a look of an enthusiastic supporter? No.

Then there are those who are undecided like Speaker Paul Ryan who I liken as a hypocrite and whose Ayn Rand inspired ideas libertarian economics are appalling, insensitive, impractical, and insane. But in this election, it’s hard not to feel sorry for him. Though he has intended to support whoever’s the GOP nominee in the past, he has admitted that he’s not prepared to back Trump-yet. “To be perfectly candid with you, I’m just not ready to that at this point. I’m not there. I hope to, and I want to,” he said on CNN. It should be apparent that Ryan is lying his ass off as if he’s a kid when his mom asks him whether he’ll support her decision to marry Mr. Douchebag. In reality, Ryan hates Trump’s guts and really doesn’t want to endorse him for president. He’s said that his party needs “a standard-bearer that bears our standards.” And it’s clear that the House Speaker doesn’t think Trump is the guy he has in mind. Otherwise, Ryan would’ve kept true to his promise once Trump clinched the nomination. But he can’t speak his mind and tell Trump to stick it because he simply can’t afford to since he’s in a tight primary congressional race with an opponent who’s already endorsed him. It doesn’t help that he’s House Speaker (a job he didn’t even want) and is the highest ranked elected GOP leader in the country. If Ryan decides to back Trump, it will be because he doesn’t want to lose his job. And he will back the man only when he absolutely has to, most likely at the Republican National Convention. Nevertheless, I can easily imagine Ryan having an effigy of Donald Trump in his office that he periodically uses as a punching bag and constantly swears at. As of now, Trump’s nomination has put him in a no-win situation where he’s stuck with either endorsing a nominee he thinks makes his party a joke at the cost of his personal integrity or possibly alienating his Republican constituents in his Wisconsin district who can vote him out of office and end his political career.

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Here’s House Speaker Paul Ryan from Wisconsin after meeting with Donald Trump. Ryan said the meeting went well but he’s still not ready to endorse him. In reality, Ryan despises Trump and really doesn’t want to endorse him. In the end he may not have other choice if he wants to save his career since his primary opponent is a known Trump supporter.

Look, I know that many of you may not like Hillary Clinton for various reasons. I know she’s not a likeable person. I know she has a lot of baggage as a politician and public figure. And I know that many people in this country fundamentally don’t like her. However, we have to accept the fact that despite her many faults, there’s no doubt that Clinton is qualified for the job, has realistic and coherent policy ideas, and has proven herself reasonably competent in every political position she’s had. And when it comes to listing all the US presidents on the wall at your kids’ school, you’d probably be okay with her being on it, eventually. You may not think much of her or even agree with her ideas. Even at her worst, she still looks like the better choice for president than Donald Trump. In fact, you could probably say that a spilled can of antifreeze or a steaming pile of dog shit are better choices than Donald Trump. Many might say that Clinton is corrupt, untrustworthy, inconsistent and hypocritical. But she has proven herself to be a serious presidential candidate not once, but twice. If she’s elected, chances are you won’t need to explain to your kids why most Americans voted for her even if you didn’t. Hillary may not make the best president, but I can guarantee you that if Trump’s in the White House, expect him to be an epic disaster.

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Here’s a cartoon of Donald Trump if he was at a job interview for the presidency. Note that his resume doesn’t make him seem like he’s presidential material. Doesn’t look good.

You can’t say any of that about Donald Trump. But one thing is clear, the man is a complete fraud and a conman as well as a wretched human being most people hate. He has risen to become the GOP nominee in the 2016 presidential race through soundbites filled with racism, sexism, xenophobia, turning his campaign into an empty spectacle, and inciting violence. But at the same time he has failed to show that he’s qualified or even serious about the job and what it entails. Elections aren’t reality shows. They are political events where we choose leaders and representatives to make laws and policy decisions that affect our lives. Presidential elections are serious business that our country can’t afford to elect a clown like him to the White House. If there’s any good reason why even the most conservative Republican should vote for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump, it’s that she takes this election seriously and is more likely to exercise the presidency with the kind of decorum, respect, and dignity Americans deserve from a leader 0f the free world. And if you take this election and the politics seriously, then she is the candidate you should support regardless of what you think of her or your political ideology. I know it’s a bitter pill to swallow. But if you’re an American who loves your country and cares retaining at least a shred of dignity on the presidency after Obama leaves the White House in January, you’d have to be a complete idiot to support Donald Trump. Sure he may be entertaining and might say things you’d want to hear, but he’s not the kind of man who should be leading the country.

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This is a mural by a guy in New York City. It’s of Donald Trump as a steaming pile of shit. I think it’s a realistic portrait, well, from a certain point of view.

Star Trek Treats from the Mess Hall

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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While there’s not a lot of craft projects being made in Star Trek, there is a lot of talk pertaining to food. After all, Starfleet officers always need to eat somehow. And most of the time, a ship always has to have a mess hall unless you’re on Deep Space Nine. There, you have Quark’s Bar and Casino which is like Rick’s Cafe Americain in space. That or Mos Eisley Spaceport. Not to mention, there’s probably other places as well with some officers cooking their own food such as Commander Sisko who wouldn’t dare replicate his ingredients. Though spaceships on Star Trek tend to have some food, many would be lost if it weren’t for replication technology. Mess halls also have to account for resident aliens on the ship as well since they might prefer their food prepared differently than what humans are used to. For instance, while Captain Picard might prefer a lobster that’s already been in a pot, Worf would probably want to eat his while it’s still alive. And he might strongly prefer one from his home planet which might seem more menacing than its earth counterpart. This is where replication technology also comes in hand as well. Still, don’t ask me how it works. Nevertheless, outside the Star Trek universe, you have plenty of Trekkies who also have Trek themed parties with Trek themed treats. And this is where I come in. So for your reading pleasure, I give you Star Trek treats from the final frontier.

 

  1. Fans of the original series would enjoy these Star Trek cookies.
And it seems to consist of all the main characters. So adorable you'd just want to eat them up.

And it seems to consist of all the main characters. So adorable you’d just want to eat them up.

2. Those who enjoyed “Devil in the Dark” might like this Horta from chocolate crackles.

Yes, it looks disgusting. But it seems way less gross than what you'd see on the original show.

Yes, it looks disgusting. But it seems way less gross than what you’d see on the original show.

3. Any young Starfleet officer is always going to need what’s in their Star Trek tricorder bento lunch.

Well, a sushi tricorder, some meat balls, and an American cheese Starfleet insignia. Still, that tricorder looks like a work of art.

Well, a sushi tricorder, some meat balls, and an American cheese Starfleet insignia. Still, that tricorder looks like a work of art.

4. Starfleet jello shots always make great desserts.

Well, for adults 21+ anyway if they contain alcohol. But it consists of colors you'd find on the Starfleet uniforms.

Well, for adults 21+ anyway if they contain alcohol. But it consists of colors you’d find on the Starfleet uniforms.

5. These cookies with Starfleet insignia are surely bound to shine.

After all, they're made from stars and decorated with icing. Kind of clever if you think of it.

After all, they’re made from stars and decorated with icing. Kind of clever if you think of it.

6. When it comes to Captain Picard, always bake it so with these cookies.

Oddly, some of the cookies here say, "Bake it so." Also like the teapots on these, too.

Oddly, some of the cookies here say, “Bake it so.” Also like the teapots on these, too.

7. This Spock bento lunch is surely the logical choice.

After all, it has a cheese Spock over a sandwich. Still, it's nutritional content should allow your kid to live long and prosper.

After all, it has a cheese Spock over a sandwich. Still, it’s nutritional content should allow your kid to live long and prosper.

8. These cookies are a must have at any Trekkie’s baby shower.

Yes, I know they're professionally made. But the sayings on these are so funny.

Yes, I know they’re professionally made. But the sayings on these are so funny.

9. An Enterprise topped cake is great for any party that’s boldly going where no party has gone before.

Like the space motifs on this. Probably made by someone who's either a professional or has too much time on their hands.

Like the space motifs on this. Probably made by someone who’s either a professional or has too much time on their hands.

10. This bento gives a nutritious lunch for any young Starfleet cadet in your life.

Well, it's nutritious all right. Doesn't hurt that the sandwich is shaped like the Enterprise.

Well, it’s nutritious all right. Doesn’t hurt that the sandwich is shaped like the Enterprise.

11. No party on the Enterprise could ever be complete without cookies like these.

Since these cookies are of Starfleet officer insignia. Might not be for all alien tastes.

Since these cookies are of Starfleet officer insignia. Might not be for all alien tastes.

12. No Klingon bash can ever be complete without some Klingon rolls.

Since such bread makes an ideal side dish for a warrior. I'm sure Worf will be pleased.

Since such bread makes an ideal side dish for a warrior. I’m sure Worf will be pleased.

13. Resistance against this Borg cube cake is futile.

It even lights up. But it's presented at any Trek themed party, you will be assimilated.

It even lights up. But it’s presented at any Trek themed party, you will be assimilated.

14. Those who like the Doctor from Voyager will surely enjoy this cake of him from his sickbay.

This is especially if your name is Robert Picardo who played the guy. Interestingly enough, the guy initially auditioned for Neelix and add libbed during his audition for the Doctor. However, the Doctor on the show ended up becoming much more popular.

This is especially if your name is Robert Picardo who played the guy. Interestingly enough, the guy initially auditioned for Neelix and add libbed during his audition for the Doctor. However, the Doctor on the show ended up becoming much more popular.

15. At Star Trek parties, it’s not unusual for gingerbread men to be Starfleet security officers.

Because we all know what happens to them on planets in the original series. After all, there's a reason why a lot of them don' come back.

Because we all know what happens to them on planets in the original series. After all, there’s a reason why a lot of them don’ come back.

16. A cake like this is great for ensuring the Trekkie in your life to live long and prosper.

However, I don't think the Enterprise topper is edible on this. Still, cool that it lights up if you ask me.

However, I don’t think the Enterprise topper is edible on this. Still, cool that it lights up if you ask me.

17. On Starfleet, these jello shots seem well suited for any space vessel’s mess hall party.

Only for those 21+ if they contain alcohol. Available in 3 colors. Of course, those who get red shouldn't beam down to the planet for awhile.

Only for those 21+ if they contain alcohol. Available in 3 colors. Of course, those who get red shouldn’t beam down to the planet for awhile.

18. Nothing makes a Star Trek party like a Starfleet roll cake.

After all, it's patterned with Starfleet insignia. What's not a Trekkie to love?

After all, it’s patterned with Starfleet insignia. What’s not a Trekkie to love?

19. With these Borg cupcakes, you will be assimilated with frosting.

These are clever and adorable. Nevertheless, you don't say that about the Borg very often since they're among the most sinister Star Trek villains to date.

These are clever and adorable. Nevertheless, you don’t say that about the Borg very often since they’re among the most sinister Star Trek villains to date.

20. It’s very apparent that no Klingon could ever resist the taste of a pie from home.

Of course, I'm sure a real Klingon pie would be much more disgusting. However, I think this one is well made with the Klingon logo included.

Of course, I’m sure a real Klingon pie would be much more disgusting. However, I think this one is well made with the Klingon logo included.

21. Fans of the original series might enjoy this cake of a communicator.

Funny how that technology from the future is less advanced than my cell phone. Still, this cake bears a very close resemblance.

Funny how that technology from the future is less advanced than my cell phone. Still, this cake bears a very close resemblance.

22. Nothing brings a Trekkie party to life like these cookies of undead captains.

And I guess Captain Picard is holding his own head. Well, at least they got the uniforms right.

And I guess Captain Picard is holding his own head. Well, at least they got the uniforms right.

23. No Klingon party could ever be worthwhile without a cake like this.

Yes, this is a Klingon cake. Not sure what it's supposed to look like. Some fans might though.

Yes, this is a Klingon cake. Not sure what it’s supposed to look like. Some fans might though.

24. I guess any member of Starfleet celebrates their birthday with this cake.

Seems about right since it has the Starfleet insignia. Probably professionally made though.

Seems about right since it has the Starfleet insignia. Probably professionally made though.

25. If you’re a fan of the United Federation of Planets, then this cake’s for you.

This is pretty cool, too. Like how everything's lined in gold. Probably didn't come cheap.

This is pretty cool, too. Like how everything’s lined in gold. Probably didn’t come cheap.

26. Grace your Trek party with this cake of the captain on bridge.

This one is from the original series as you see here. But I'm sure any Trekkie would like it.

This one is from the original series as you see here. But I’m sure any Trekkie would like it.

27.  A gingerbread Enterprise is always said to shoot down candy cane laser beams.

Sure it's not for eating. But you have to admire how this Trekkie pulled this off. Very creative if you ask me.

Sure it’s not for eating. But you have to admire how this Trekkie pulled this off. Very creative if you ask me.

28. A great Star Trek cake always has to include Captain Kirk and Spock.

After all, these two guys are really best friends. And the art on this isn't too shabby either.

After all, these two guys are really best friends. And the art on this isn’t too shabby either.

29. This cake was brought to you by the United Federation of Planets.

And. boy, this cake seems to have a lot of detail. Probably made from some high end bakery in the galaxy.

And. boy, this cake seems to have a lot of detail. Probably made from some high end bakery in the galaxy.

30. Resistance against this Hello Kitty Borg cake is futile.

Never have I ever seen Borg assimilation look so adorable. That said, this is kind of disturbing.

Never have I ever seen Borg assimilation look so adorable. That said, this is kind of disturbing.

31. Looks like this Enterprise bridge cake is a bit bare.

Well, this is from Star Trek: Enterprise. But yes, it kind of looks gray if you ask me.

Well, this is from Star Trek: Enterprise. But yes, it kind of looks gray if you ask me.

32. Fans of Deep Space Nine can only dream of a cake like this.

From how it's detail, it's certainly professionally made. But it looks really cool.

From how it’s detail, it’s certainly professionally made. But it looks really cool, too.

33. Trekkies who like making money might enjoy a cake of a Ferengi.

The Ferengi aren't really good or evil because they only wish to make money. And they don't care where the cash comes from either.

The Ferengi aren’t really good or evil because they only wish to make money. And they don’t care where the cash comes from either.

34. For those holier than thou Trekkies, this is just the cake for you.

Yes, I know this cake might seem sacrilegious to some. But there are plenty of religious people who enjoy Star Trek and might find this awesome. So to each his own.

Yes, I know this cake might seem sacrilegious to some. But there are plenty of religious people who enjoy Star Trek and might find this awesome. So to each his own.

35. This Janeway cake will surely go well with the Borg cupcakes.

Okay, Janeway might not be the best Star Trek captain. But this cake is quite awesome if you ask me.

Okay, Janeway might not be the best Star Trek captain. But this cake is quite awesome if you ask me.

36. Red Shirt Oreos are always a hit at any Starfleet bash.

After all, they seem quite easy to make that they're almost expendable. Get it?

After all, they seem quite easy to make that they’re almost expendable. Get it?

37. Celebrate a young Starfleet officer’s birthday with this uniform cake.

This one is from Next Generation so you don't have to worry. In fact, many of the main cast from that show wears one and they usually return from the planet.

This one is from Next Generation so you don’t have to worry. In fact, many of the main cast from that show wears one and they usually return from the planet.

38. Any Trekkie dessert platter can’t be complete without these cookies.

These include a phaser, Starfleet insignia, Klingon insignia, the Enterprise, and the Vulcan salute. But they all seem well decorated.

These include a phaser, Starfleet insignia, Klingon insignia, the Enterprise, and the Vulcan salute. But they all seem well decorated.

39. A Horta loaf always goes well with a Starfleet biscuit.

Not sure what those gray things are. But this dish looks rather edible for some humans.

Not sure what those gray things are. But this dish looks rather edible for some humans.

40. A gingerbread communicator always makes a tasty Trekkie treat.

Unless if you're a gingerbread Starfleet officer. Then it's essential for getting in touch with the Enterprise. Just kidding.

Unless if you’re a gingerbread Starfleet officer. Then it’s essential for getting in touch with the Enterprise. Just kidding.

41. Remember, it’s always okay to be Takei.

Well, that's according to this bento. Those who know about George Takei's sexual orientation will sure get this.

Well, that’s according to this bento. Those who know about George Takei’s sexual orientation will sure get this.

42. Well, these Star Trek cookies seem like they’re happy.

Except good Spock and evil Spock that is. Also includes a couple of redshirts. I wonder why.

Except good Spock and evil Spock that is. Also includes a couple of redshirts. I wonder why.

43. Seems like something is bursting from this Starfleet cake you don’t see every day.

Guess this is a mashup of Star Trek: TNG and the Alien franchise. Where's Ellen Ripley when you need her?

Guess this is a mashup of Star Trek: TNG and the Alien franchise. Where’s Ellen Ripley when you need her?

44. Your guests will find it hard to not get greedy with these Ferengi ear rolls.

Okay, they may not bear a close resemblance. But I like this dish. So it goes on the post.

Okay, they may not bear a close resemblance. But I like this dish. So it goes on the post.

45. No Starfleet party dessert platter is complete without these cake pops.

Each one bears the Starfleet insignia. Comes in 6 types.

Each one bears the Starfleet insignia. Comes in 6 types.

46. What could Captain Picard do if he didn’t have scones with his Earl Grey tea?

Okay, he might not have scones with his tea. But if he did, these would be perfect.

Okay, he might not have scones with his tea. But if he did, these would be perfect.

47. Star Trek cupcakes like these are surely hard to resist.

These also consist of stuff you might find from the original series. Even a green girl and tribble. Adorable.

These also consist of stuff you might find from the original series. Even a green girl and tribble. Adorable.

48. This Trekkie cake is bound to be a chocolate lovers delight.

Since it has chocolate icing, chocolate chips, and M&Ms. And it looks so delicious as well as easy to make.

Since it has chocolate icing, chocolate chips, and M&Ms. And it looks so delicious as well as easy to make.

49. I guess this cake has phasers set to stun.

However, the uniform seems like it's from The Next Generation. So I'm a little confused.

However, the uniform seems like it’s from The Next Generation. So I’m a little confused.

50. This bento lunch will help any Vulcan kid live long and prosper.

Then again, Vulcans are vegetarians. But this is a great edible Spock tribute if you ask me.

Then again, Vulcans are vegetarians. But this is a great edible Spock tribute if you ask me.

51. Resistance to these Borg jello shots is futile.

The official recipe contains alcohol so it's for those 21+ only. However, I'm not sure if the Borg would eat these though.

The official recipe contains alcohol so it’s for those 21+ only. However, I’m not sure if the Borg would eat these though.

52. Fans of TNG’s “Conspiracy” episode might enjoy a plate of meal worms and parasite bread.

Don't worry, the meal worms are pasta. However, I do like the breaded crabs though. So creative.

Don’t worry, the meal worms are pasta. However, I do like the breaded crabs though. So creative.

53. For Worf, a dish of Klingon octopus is just the ticket.

Yeah, Klingon food looks like that but more disgusting. After all, Klingons eat their meat live and bloody.

Yeah, Klingon food looks like that but more disgusting. After all, Klingons eat their meat live and bloody.

54. Fans of the original series will find sugar cookies like these quite delightful.

Well, these consist of members of the main cast on Enterprise. And they're so adorable in frosting.

Well, these consist of members of the main cast on Enterprise. And they’re so adorable in frosting.

55. For fans of “Amok Time” this is the cake just for you.

Not sure if Kirk and Spock's fight scene is appropriate cake material. However, I understand that some Trekkies might not care.

Not sure if Kirk and Spock’s fight scene is appropriate cake material. However, I understand that some Trekkies might not care.

56. Grace your Starfleet dessert platter with a quality redshirt cake.

After all, it's most likely the most expendable Star Trek cake available. As I know what happens to redshirts.

After all, it’s most likely the most expendable Star Trek cake available. As I know what happens to redshirts.

57. Seems like this Enterprise boldly came with more meat than it did before.

I think this is an Enterprise meat sculpture. So unfortunately, it's not for eating and won't help you live long and prosper.

I think this is an Enterprise meat sculpture. So unfortunately, it’s not for eating and won’t help you live long and prosper.

58. Nothing makes a better addition to a Trekkie party than a gingerbread enterprise.

Yes, this is another gingerbread Enterprise. But this one is covered in icing while the last one wasn't.

Yes, this is another gingerbread Enterprise. But this one is covered in icing while the last one wasn’t.

59. Wish your guests to live long and prosper with this Star Trek cookie platter.

Comes with uniforms, Starfleet insignia, and Spock. And all cookies are covered in icing.

Comes with uniforms, Starfleet insignia, and Spock. And all cookies are covered in icing.

60. Of course, any Trekkie doctor is bound to enjoy this Dr. McCoy cake.

Yes, this is professionally made and some of the decorations aren't edible. But it's pretty funny and in the true Dr. McCoy spirit.

Yes, this is professionally made and some of the decorations aren’t edible. But it’s pretty funny and in the true Dr. McCoy spirit.

61. These Starfleet tarts are certain to make any Enterprise party a hit.

Guess they have 3 different fillings like strawberry, lemon, and blueberry. And are all shaped like Starfleet insignia.

Guess they have 3 different fillings like strawberry, lemon, and blueberry. And are all shaped like Starfleet insignia.

62. Guess this bento carries a phaser lunch set to stun.

Well, it contains a phasier sandwich and stars at least. But that's beside the point.

Well, it contains a phaser sandwich and stars at least. But that’s beside the point.

63. Andorian fans will definitely want these cupcakes at any party.

And these seem especially easy to decorate since they only require white icing and blue antennae. Not sure if the antennae are edible.

And these seem especially easy to decorate since they only require white icing and blue antennae. Not sure if the antennae are edible.

64. I bring a cake of the starship Enterprise boldly going where no cake has gone before.

I guess this cake was meant to display. But it seems someone couldn't resist to take a bite out of this thing.

I guess this cake was meant to display. But it seems someone couldn’t resist to take a bite out of this thing.

65. Wonder where the Enterprise is going on this cake.

I hope it's to a planet that's able to support some kind of life. But as far as the original show goes, you'll never know.

I hope it’s to a planet that’s able to support some kind of life. But as far as the original show goes, you’ll never know.

66. Anyone at Starfleet Command will surely approve of these cupcakes.

Because they come in all 3 uniform colors and have chocolate Starfleet insignia. But I like them anyway.

Because they come in all 3 uniform colors and have chocolate Starfleet insignia. But I like them anyway.

67. These Star Trek pancakes are part of a complete breakfast.

I guess someone spent too much time on these because they sure look like the characters. I don't know why such dishes even exist.

I guess someone spent too much time on these because they sure look like the characters. I don’t know why such dishes even exist.

68. As we all know, these Star Trek gingerbread cookies can’t be beat.

Let me guess, the one in the red shirt isn't Scotty. How was I to know that?

Let me guess, the one in the red shirt isn’t Scotty. How was I to know that?

69. A bento lunch like this is certain to be Starfleet approved.

Well, it consists of stars and the Starfleet insignia. But I think kids will be sure to love this.

Well, it consists of stars and the Starfleet insignia. But I think kids will be sure to love this.

70. Fans of Captain James T. Kirk should always have a cake like this.

For we all know that Kirk has rock hard abs. And once he gets in trouble on the planet, the shirt comes off.

For we all know that Kirk has rock hard abs. And once he gets in trouble on the planet, the shirt comes off.

71. At any Starfleet party, you can’t resist these cupcakes.

After all, they're chocolate and have the Starfleet insignia on them. Look so delicious.

After all, they’re chocolate and have the Starfleet insignia on them. Look so delicious.

72. Fans of TNG will certainly find this Data bento lunch delightful.

Of course, Data will probably won't eat this because he's an android. But this is quite cute.

Of course, Data will probably won’t eat this because he’s an android. But this is quite cute.

73. I guess this cake seems to come with its own scanner.

This one has to be from TNG due to the uniform style. Then again, I'm not sure what that gadget is.

This one has to be from TNG due to the uniform style. Then again, I’m not sure what that gadget is.

74. An Enterprise cake like this is sure to make a fine centerpiece at any Starfleet party.

Well, this looks quite intricately decorated. But it took a lot of time on someone's hands at the bakery.

Well, this looks quite intricately decorated. But it took a lot of time on someone’s hands at the bakery.

75. This 3 layer Borg cake is said to be impossible to resist.

Because resistance to this cake is futile. We know since Captain Picard learned the hard way.

Because resistance to this cake is futile. We know since Captain Picard learned the hard way.

76. Klingon fans would be delighted if a dessert platter contained a cake of a Klingon bird of prey.

That is a cake of a Klingon ship. Best to board this with caution since we know what Klingons are like.

That is a cake of a Klingon ship. Best to board this with caution since we know what Klingons are like.

77. Guess this bridge cake is from the Next Generation.

And it seems to have more people on the bridge than some of the other bridge cakes. Wonder why that is.

And it seems to have more people on the bridge than some of the other bridge cakes. Wonder why that is.

78. Fans of Deep Space Nine might also enjoy a cake of The Defiant.

Well, this kid seems to. Still, I know it's not a classy ship like the Enterprise. But it doesn't have to be.

Well, this kid seems to. Still, I know it’s not a classy ship like the Enterprise. But it doesn’t have to be.

79. Seems like that Star Trek alien dog has a treat of its own, too.

And it seems to bear a rather close resemblance. Still, there weren't a lot of good special effects during the 1960s. They had to make do with what they had.

And it seems to bear a rather close resemblance. Still, there weren’t a lot of good special effects during the 1960s. They had to make do with what they had.

80. Let’s see how this Voyager cake stacks against the Borg Cube.

Well, they apparently seem to be the same size. Guess these two cakes were for a big party.

Well, they apparently seem to be the same size. Guess these two cakes were for a big party.

81. In this part of galaxy nobody could resist these tribble bites.

Because these are bound to cause trouble. However, Klingons are known not to like them.

Because these are bound to cause trouble. However, Klingons are known not to like them.

82. A Star Trek cake like this is said to be a Trekkie’s dessert delight.

Contains the Enterprise, the Vulcan salute, and the 3 Starfleet uniform colors. What more can a Trekkie want?

Contains the Enterprise, the Vulcan salute, and the 3 Starfleet uniform colors. What more can a Trekkie want?

83. These Star Trek cookies are sure to please at any party.

These seem to be based on the original series. Nevertheless, they seem so adorable an almost impossible to resist.

These seem to be based on the original series. Nevertheless, they seem so adorable an almost impossible to resist.

84. When it comes to Star Trek parties, you can’t go wrong with a cake and these cupcakes.

Well, these tend to be more or less inspired by the reboot movies. But at least the cake has Kirk and Spock together.

Well, these tend to be more or less inspired by the reboot movies. But at least the cake has Kirk and Spock together.

85. This pull away cupcake cake is brought to you by a bakery in Starfleet.

Yes, I know I have a lot of cakes on this post. But sometimes you have to make do with what you have.

Yes, I know I have a lot of cakes on this post. But sometimes you have to make do with what you have.

86. Well, at least this cake has a Stardate.

However, I'm not sure what this means. Not sure how they come up with these things in Star Trek.

However, I’m not sure what this means. Not sure how they come up with these things in Star Trek.

87. This Enterprise bento will sure make your kid the envy of other Starfleet cadets.

This one also has an Enterprise sandwich as well as stars. But it doesn't seem as thick as the last one I put on this post.

This one also has an Enterprise sandwich as well as stars. But it doesn’t seem as thick as the last one I put on this post.

88. Guess this starship wants to blow up the Borg cube.

However, I'm not sure if that ship will have any success. Because under the Borg, resistance is futile.

However, I’m not sure if that ship will have any success. Because under the Borg, resistance is futile.

89. These gingerbread Star Trek cookies will surely rock any party at Starfleet Command.

Well, these do tend to have a real homey feel to them. And don't seem to take too much icing.

Well, these do tend to have a real homey feel to them. And don’t seem to take too much icing.

90. A Star Trek bento like this may wish you to live long and prosper.

After all, it says so on the sandwich with cheese. Still, it's quite creative.

After all, it says so on the sandwich with cheese. Still, it’s quite creative.

91. Shoe your love for your favorite Trekkie with this cookie platter.

I guess these cookies are professionally made and are from TNG. Still, they're quite sweet if you ask me.

I guess these cookies are professionally made and are from TNG. Still, they’re quite sweet if you ask me.

92. There are no better chocolates aboard the Enterprise than these candies.

Yes, these are Star Trek chocolates. And yes, some are sure to find them awesome.

Yes, these are Star Trek chocolates. And yes, some are sure to find them awesome.

93. Seems like this cake really reaches for the stars.

Well, it seems to be the Enterprise surrounded by space, the final frontier. Not sure if the Enterprise is edible on this though.

Well, it seems to be the Enterprise surrounded by space, the final frontier. Not sure if the Enterprise is edible on this though.

94. When you can’t get an Enterprise cake, a shuttle one would do just as well.

And this seems like a rather nice cake. However, you don't really see the shuttles on the show very often since they tend to beam up a lot in the transporter.

And this seems like a rather nice cake. However, you don’t really see the shuttles on the show very often since they tend to beam up a lot in the transporter.

95. When it comes to Enterprise cakes, nothing beats homemade.

And it seems like whoever made this, did a very good job. Like the icing detail.

And it seems like whoever made this, did a very good job. Like the icing detail.

96. A redshirt cupcake is always easy to make.

So easy that they always seem expendable at parties. Of course, I think these might be from Next Generation. But you see what I mean.

So easy that they always seem expendable at parties. Of course, I think these might be from Next Generation. But you see what I mean.

97. I guess a cake like this encourages one to boldly go where no man has gone before.

It might be made from a sheet cake, but it's quite clever. Of course, you know the rest of that sentence.

It might be made from a sheet cake, but it’s quite clever. Of course, you know the rest of that sentence.

98. Fans of the Next Generation might enjoy this set of cupcakes.

Well, TNG wasn't the best Star Trek series. But these cupcaeks are so cute. Like Data with his cat.

Well, TNG wasn’t the best Star Trek series. But these cupcaeks are so cute. Like Data with his cat.

99. This set of cookies was made especially for Mr. Sulu.

George Takei received these cookies for his 75th birthday from a bakery. Quite nice of them since I found this on Pinterest.

George Takei received these cookies for his 75th birthday from a bakery. Quite nice of them since I found this on Pinterest.

100. Finally, I’m sure no officers has seen cupcakes like these at Starfleet.

These use buttercream icing by the way. And they're all in 3 different colors, too.

These use buttercream icing by the way. And they’re all in 3 different colors, too.

Star Trek Craft Projects from Garak’s Clothiers

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

Garaks_Clothiers

As with any franchise with a large fandom, you have some fans who are perfectly content with buying merchandise from large companies seeking to make a profit. And then you have the devotees who wish to make stuff to show their love in their art. Trekkies are no different. Still, in the Star Trek universe while you don’t really have people making stuff, you have Garak’s Clothiers from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Well, let’s just say Garak is the only guy in the franchise who does something that comes close to doing craft projects. After all, he calls himself a tailor by trade and is sees doing some alterations. However, he also does some work on the side and since he’s a Cardassian and friends with Dr. Bashir, you can’t really tell what side he’s on. After all, he did tell Dr. Bashir that he wanted him to come to see him for a new suit at a specified time so he could hear him conversing with two really scary Klingon women. Nevertheless, you have plenty of Trekkies who make craft projects that you might see on Etsy or Pinterest at one time or another. Some of these could be irresistibly adorable. Others, well, might make you wonder what were they thinking. So for your galactic reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Star Trek craft projects.

 

  1. Show your love for Star Trek with this stained glass window.
Well, this sure makes you want to set your phasers to stunning. Because it sure is.

Well, this sure makes you want to set your phasers to stunning. Because it sure is.

2. Make your plants grow boldly like no plant has grown before with this Enterprise flower pot.

Of course, the only way you could really do that is also add some Miracle Gro. But you get what I'm saying.

Of course, the only way you could really do that is also add some Miracle Gro. But you get what I’m saying.

3. Is Spock had a sampler in his cabin, it would say “Live Long and Prosper.”

However, this one includes characters from the original show and The Next Generation. But this is kind of cute.

However, this one includes characters from the original show and The Next Generation. But this is kind of cute.

4. Start your day logically by getting a cup a joe from your very own Spock mug.

Not sure if Spock drinks coffee. But I think this is logically clever if you get my drift. Fascinating.

Not sure if Spock drinks coffee. But I think this is logically clever if you get my drift. Fascinating.

5. Now you can cuddle up with your very own amigurumi Kirk and Spock.

Can't tell which one is cuter. But these are both so adorable as their friendship on the show.

Can’t tell which one is cuter. But these are both so adorable as their friendship on the show.

6. According to what this sampler says, “Adopt a Tribble.”

Then again, it's probably not good advice. Because tribbles have voracious appetites and multiply like crazy.

Then again, it’s probably not good advice. Because tribbles have voracious appetites and multiply like crazy.

7. Of course, couldn’t do a craft post without a wooden Enterprise.

Sure it's only a model. But it's certainly well varnished that you wonder whether the ship has a wood shop.

Sure it’s only a model. But it’s certainly well varnished that you wonder whether the ship has a wood shop.

8. Nothing makes a Trekkie room better than this themed dresser.

Has drawers of 5 different colors. Probably made by some Trekkie with too much time on their hands. But that's just my theory.

Has drawers of 5 different colors. Probably made by some Trekkie with too much time on their hands. But that’s just my theory.

9. If you liked Geordi LaForge from The Next Generation, then you’ll enjoy this handmade visor.

You can either wear this or put it on display. But it still looks quite cool if you ask me.

You can either wear this or put it on display. But it still looks quite cool if you ask me.

10. This sampler is for the ultimate Trekkie who has everything.

This one features the original cast as well as the words you hear from Kirk in the theme. Has a lot of detail as you see.

This one features the original cast as well as the words you hear from Kirk in the theme. Has a lot of detail as you see.

11. For Vulcan ears, it doesn’t hurt to have them crocheted.

Doesn't have a logical look to it. But I'll let this slide since they're quite clever.

Doesn’t have a logical look to it. But I’ll let this slide since they’re quite clever.

12. Raise a toast on the Enterprise with these Starfleet wine glasses.

I guess these are from the Next Generation so I can't joke about Red Shirts. Still, they're wonderfully painted that Guinan will be pleased.

I guess these are from the Next Generation so I can’t joke about Red Shirts. Still, they’re wonderfully painted that Guinan will be pleased.

13. Keep yourself engaged and warm with this Captain Picard quilt.

Man, that really looks like him. Wonder how long it took to make that. Guess Sir Patrick Stewart would be proud.

Man, that really looks like him. Wonder how long it took to make that. Guess Sir Patrick Stewart would be proud.

14. Nothing goes better on your Trekkie couch than these Starfleet uniform fleece pillows.

I guess these feel fuzzy. However, once the red one leaves the couch, it never comes back.

I guess these feel fuzzy. However, once the red one leaves the couch, it never comes back.

15. As we all know, Picard loves his Earl Grey tea that someone made a sampler.

Yes, this is related to Star Trek. Because that's how Picard orders his tea since he likes it hot.

Yes, this is related to Star Trek. Because that’s how Picard orders his tea since he likes it hot.

16. In case you forget, this sampler provides a guide for Starfleet uniforms in the original series.

Remember that gold = command, blue = science, and red = doomed unless you're Scotty or Uhura. Well, at least when they beam down to the planet.

Remember that gold = command, blue = science, and red = doomed unless you’re Scotty or Uhura. Well, at least when they beam down to the planet.

17. Bajoran fans of Deep Space Nine might like an earpiece like this.

Of course, they're only sold one at a time. And aren't recommended for those with delicate ears. But yes, the Bajoran wear earpieces like the one you see here.

Of course, they’re only sold one at a time. And aren’t recommended for those with delicate ears. But yes, the Bajoran wear earpieces like the one you see here.

18. In colder weather, a crocheted Spock hat is a logical choice.

You can tell it's a Vulcan hat because of the ears. Still, wear this when it makes logical sense.

You can tell it’s a Vulcan hat because of the ears. Still, wear this when it makes logical sense.

19. A Star Trek mobile with rainbow Enterprise ships always make a great ceiling decoration.

Because I'm not sure if it's appropriate for a crib height wise. Nevertheless, I like the purple one the best.

Because I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for a crib height wise. Nevertheless, I like the purple one the best.

20. Of course, we all know what a Trekkie says when they walk into a bar…

Yeah, that's about it. Even though Kirk never really said, "Beam me up, Scotty" in the show.

Yeah, that’s about it. Even though Kirk never really said, “Beam me up, Scotty” in the show.

21. Sometimes it helps to carry your things in your very own tricorder.

You know the futuristic technology you see Spock with that's now horribly outdated. Yeah, kids have calculators more sophisticated than that. Still, this is meant to be a replica purse.

You know the futuristic technology you see Spock with that’s now horribly outdated. Yeah, kids have calculators more sophisticated than that. Still, this is meant to be a bag you put on your belt.

22. Boldly go where no man has gone before with this crocheted Enterprise.

Well, it seems to resemble the ship if it was made in yarn. But I still think it's a worthy effort on the creator's part.

Well, it seems to resemble the ship if it was made in yarn. But I still think it’s a worthy effort on the creator’s part.

23. Of course, we should always pay respect to the dearly departed Starfleet security officers.

Here lies a Red Shirt known only to God. Because if we knew who he was, he wouldn't have been killed on that planet in the first place.

Here lies a Red Shirt known only to God. Because if we knew who he was, he wouldn’t have been killed on that planet in the first place.

24. No Starfleet crew member should ever be without their own mug.

Well, this seems official since it has the Starfleet insignia. Better drawing than I could've done that's for sure.

Well, this seems official since it has the Starfleet insignia. Better drawing than I could’ve done that’s for sure.

25. As we all know, sometimes Wesley Crusher really needs to shut up.

Thank you, Captain Picard, for doing us a great service by telling Wesley to shut up. That kid is annoying as hell.

Thank you, Captain Picard, for doing us a great service by telling Wesley to shut up. That kid is annoying as hell.

26. Protect your clothes from the elements of chemicals or food with your very own Starfleet uniform apron.

Never see people in the Starfleet mess halls wear these. Not sure why.

Never see people in the Starfleet mess halls wear these. Not sure why.

27. Grace your home with your very own Spocktopus embroidery sampler.

Yes, I know the image is illogical. But it's still kind of hilarious because it's illogical.

Yes, I know the image is highly illogical. But it’s still kind of hilarious because it’s highly illogical.

28. Never leave your home ship without taking your tricorder purse with you.

For an obsolete futuristic technology, that gadget does make a great purse design. Well, if you use the right colors anyway.

For an obsolete futuristic technology, that gadget does make a great purse design. Well, if you use the right colors anyway.

29. Carry your things with you in this Starfleet purse.

Yes, this is a Starfleet purse since it has the logo. Not sure how much it could fit. But I do like the shiny gold color.

Yes, this is a Starfleet purse since it has the logo. Not sure how much it could fit. But I do like the shiny gold color.

30. Any character from Star Trek: Next Generation can be quite cuddly as an amigurumi.

Then again, TNG isn't the best out of the Star Trek shows. since it gives screentime to some of its least likable characters. But at least this set includes Guinan and Q.

Then again, TNG isn’t the best out of the Star Trek shows. since it gives screentime to some of its least likable characters. But at least this set includes Guinan and Q.

31. Remember, Trekkies, you can never have enough tribble pillows on your couch.

Tribbles must be the easiest Star Trek creatures to make since they're just little puff balls. However, these cuties caused a lot of trouble on the Enterprise in one episode.

Tribbles must be the easiest Star Trek creatures to make since they’re just little puff balls. However, these cuties caused a lot of trouble on the Enterprise in one episode.

32. Looks like these ceramic cows are boldly going where no bull has gone before.

Yes, they made cow versions of Kirk and Spock. Don't ask me why. But neither has udders which you see a lot on male cows in cartoons.

Yes, they made cow versions of Kirk and Spock. Don’t ask me why. But neither has udders which you see a lot on male cows in cartoons.

33. These Starfleet pillows will go well on any Trekkie couch.

Well, as long as your couch is shiny bright orange. Then again, these would've gone great with any furniture from the original series.

Well, as long as your couch is shiny bright orange. Then again, these would’ve gone great with any furniture from the original series.

34. Protect your wooden table tops with this set of canvas Starfleet coasters.

Comes in 3 different colors. But each will protect your tables from drinks equally.

Comes in 3 different colors. But each will protect your tables from drinks equally.

35. This Star Trek quilt of the Enterprise is something any Starfleet cadet might want.

As you see, this quilt depicts the Enterprise from different views. Also, lists the main crew's names by rank.

As you see, this quilt depicts the Enterprise from different views. Also, lists the main crew’s names by rank.

36. No Starfleet should ever be without their own mosaic serving tray.

Like how it's done in mosaics and how it resembles the Enterprise. So pretty.

Like how it’s done in mosaics and how it resembles the Enterprise. So pretty.

37. As Mr. Spock says, always be a Vulcan, not a Vulcan’t.

Okay, he actually didn't say it. But it makes a great wall hanging nevertheless. Like his hand sign.

Okay, he actually didn’t say it. But it makes a great wall hanging nevertheless. Like his hand sign.

38. Protect yourself from hot metals in the kitchen with these crocheted Starfleet pot holders.

Come in 3 different colors. However, you'll probably use the red one the most since it's the color of security. Or maybe the least because the color also means expendable.

Come in 3 different colors. However, you’ll probably use the red one the most since it’s the color of security. Or maybe the least because the color also means expendable.

39. With this Star Trek quilt, you can snuggle up to the final frontier.

Has a lot of Star Trek icons and symbols here. And the squares are of 4 different colors.

Has a lot of Star Trek icons and symbols here. And the squares are of 4 different colors.

40. I’m sure this Spock quilt will certainly provide you some logical warmth.

And yes, it really looks like him. I'm sure the late Leonard Nimoy would be impressed by that patchwork.

And yes, it really looks like him. I’m sure the late Leonard Nimoy would be impressed by that patchwork.

41. You can’t logically go wrong with a Spock sampler.

Didn't know Spock could look this great in emboridery either. Really captures his essence.

Didn’t know Spock could look this great in embroidery either. Really captures his essence.

42. Keep warm like a Klingon warrior with your very own crocheted Worf scarf.

I'm sure Worf doesn't knit or crochet. But that scarf is a very good likeness of his sash he usually wears.

I’m sure Worf doesn’t knit or crochet. But that scarf is a very good likeness of his sash he usually wears.

43. Heard of a pot holder? How about a Spock holder?

Because holding a pot without it doesn't make much logical sense. Oh, well, it does if you use a different pot holder but you get the idea.

Because holding a pot without it doesn’t make much logical sense. Oh, well, it does if you use a different pot holder but you get the idea.

44. Keep your coffee warm longer with these crocheted Starfleet cozies.

Come in 3 different colors. However, not sure whether they allow coffee on the bridge. Or why it doesn't spill whenever the ship's hit.

Come in 3 different colors. However, not sure whether they allow coffee on the bridge. Or why it doesn’t spill whenever the ship’s hit.

45. Nothing makes your home more Trekkie than this Enterprise quilt.

This one depicts the Enterprise and only the Enterprise. Not sure if the red thing is a planet or a star though.

This one depicts the Enterprise and only the Enterprise. Not sure if the red thing is a planet or a star though.

46. When you’re sewing, it helps that you have a Red Shirt pin cushion that’ll keep your pins and needles secure.

Also doubles as a voodoo doll if you want. For obvious reasons. Yeah, the original show had a lot of red shirt security officers die on the planets for some reason.

Also doubles as a voodoo doll if you want. For obvious reasons. Yeah, the original show had a lot of red shirt security officers die on the planets for some reason.

47. Of course, even officers on Starfleet need to keep clean now and then. So keep clean with these designated soaps.

Come in 4 different colors. However, we do know what happens to those who use the red soap.

Come in 4 different colors. However, we do know what happens to those who use the red soap.

48. These peg people consist of the main crew of the original Star Trek Enterprise.

Yes, these are peg people of the original Star Trek cast. Or at least the ones people cared about.

Yes, these are peg people of the original Star Trek cast. Or at least the ones people cared about.

49. Boldly go where no cat has gone before with these Star Trek cat buttons.

I think these cats were from some noted artist who paints scenes with cats in them. I forget her name. But these are funny.

I think these cats were from some noted artist who paints scenes with cats in them. I forget her name. But these are funny.

50. You might know that the amigurumi crew of Star Trek: Enterprise can also be cuddly.

Okay, I know it doesn't consist of the whole crew because I don't see the British security officer who likes to blow things up. Nor do I see Porthos. But it's close enough.

Okay, I know it doesn’t consist of the whole crew because I don’t see the British security officer who likes to blow things up. Nor do I see Porthos. But it’s close enough.

51. This set of Star Trek nesting dolls comes so well together.

Includes Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, and Scotty. Not sure about the painting style though.

Includes Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, and Scotty. Not sure about the painting style though.

52. A Spock elephant’s memory is said to be astounding.

Because elephants have remarkable memory. Vulcan elephants have an astounding memory and sense of logic. So this Spock elephant should be superb.

Because elephants have remarkable memory. Vulcan elephants have an astounding memory and sense of logic. So this Spock elephant should be superb.

53. When it comes to cuteness, you can never get enough seeing Captain Picard with puppies.

I'm not sure what made anyone paint this. But I'm positive that at least one of my viewers will find this picture adorable.

I’m not sure what made anyone paint this. But I’m positive that at least one of my viewers will find this picture adorable.

54. For some members of Starfleet, nobody knows the tribbles they’ve seen.

Still, I think this sampler saying is brilliant. Since "Trouble with Tribbles" is such a great episode.

Still, I think this sampler saying is brilliant. Since “Trouble with Tribbles” is such a great episode.

55. On this sampler, whenever Picard makes a command, he makes it so.

This one seems more simple to create than some of the other ones. But that's Picard's most famous words.

This one seems more simple to create than some of the other ones. But that’s Picard’s most famous words.

56. When it comes to whales, the Data one has the most superior skill.

It's a Data whale because it's green like him in TNG. Still, it's adorable to say the least.

It’s a Data whale because it’s green like him in TNG. Still, it’s adorable to say the least.

57. For your Starfleet kitchens, these aprons are ideal.

Since they tend to depict Starfleet uniforms from TNG. Like the black bows on them though.

Since they tend to depict Starfleet uniforms from TNG. Like the black bows on them though.

58. This oven mitt will help you boldly get the roast no man has chowed before.

Well, at least this looks more like standard oven mitt than the one in the last post. This one just has Star Trek characters on it.

Well, at least this looks more like standard oven mitt than the one in the last post. This one just has Star Trek characters on it.

59. These Starfleet crayons would please any kid in the Alpha Quadrant.

Consist of Starfleet logos, the Enterprise, and Vulcan hand signs. But they seem rather well made for any Starfleet coloring book.

Consist of Starfleet logos, the Enterprise, and Vulcan hand signs. But they seem rather well made for any Starfleet coloring book.

60. With this pair of earrings, you can wish everyone to live long and prosper.

Yes, this pair contain the Vulcan hand sign. Not sure if any Vulcans have such earrings though.

Yes, this pair contain the Vulcan hand sign. Not sure if any Vulcans have such earrings though.

61. A necklace with a Starfleet pendant always makes a great gift.

Wonder if this was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Because it looks so ornate.

Wonder if this was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Because it looks so ornate.

62. With this lamp, you’ll be able to boldly go where no man has gone before in the dark.

Okay, not really but it's sure a cool lantern you can find on Etsy. Also makes a great outdoor decoration.

Okay, not really but it’s sure a cool lantern you can find on Etsy. Also makes a great outdoor decoration.

63. Starry, starry, night. Enterprise into the sky.

This is a Star Trek rendition of Van Gogh's Starry Night. Notice it's in space and not in a town. Yet, it's clever.

This is a Star Trek rendition of Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Notice it’s in space and not in a town. Yet, it’s clever.

64. Apparently, TNG peg people seem to have their own Enterprise.

Well, at least one that's made from wood and has wheels. But I think having the original crew instead would be better.

Well, at least one that’s made from wood and has wheels. But I think having the original crew instead would be better.

65. These Star Trek pillows will work wonders for anyone’s head.

Then again, they're probably used for decoration. Includes Kirk, Spock, and Uhura.

Then again, they’re probably used for decoration. Includes Kirk, Spock, and Uhura.

66. Keep your things together on your Star Trek with these Starfleet tote bags.

Come in 3 different colors as you see. And I guess they're from the Next Generation, too.

Come in 3 different colors as you see. And I guess they’re from the Next Generation, too.

67. These Star Trek amigurumi are as adorable as they are evil.

Well, this set doesn't seem to include evil Chekov or Sulu. But it does have Marlena as Kirk's squeeze. Still, it's them from a parallel universe.

Well, this set doesn’t seem to include evil Chekov or Sulu. But it does have Marlena as Kirk’s squeeze. Still, it’s them from a parallel universe.

68. For you Trekkies, celebrate your Hanukkah with this wooden menorah with lights.

Helps to know that Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are Jews, too. Also like how Gorn's included.

Helps to know that Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are Jews, too. Also like how Gorn’s included.

69. Your plant is guaranteed to grow logically with this Spock flower pot.

Well, as long as you give it plenty of sun and water, too. Not including that would be highly illogical.

Well, as long as you give it plenty of sun and water, too. Not including that would be highly illogical.

70. Those who like Voyager might adore them as amigurumi as well.

Sure it's not the best Star Trek series. But you have to admit, these are cute.

Sure it’s not the best Star Trek series. But you have to admit, these are cute.

71. Cuddle up on your couch with Star Trek pillows of Kirk and Spock.

Yes, Kirk and Spock have gotten the felt treatment. Other Star Trek characters received it as well according to Etsy.

Yes, Kirk and Spock have gotten the felt treatment. Other Star Trek characters received it as well according to Etsy.

72. Your money will be safe in these Starfleet change purses.

However, it's best not to keep any gold plated latinum in there. Well, at least when you're among the Ferengi.

However, it’s best not to keep any gold plated latinum in there. Well, at least when you’re among the Ferengi.

73. A sampler like this always calls for adventure.

Well, this looks rather well done. The Starfleet logo and stars look quite intricate and everything.

Well, this looks rather well done. The Starfleet logo and stars look quite intricate and everything.

74. This Spock pillow is a logical place to rest your head.

And here he is with the Vulcan hand sign. Guess rest is essential if you want to live long and prosper.

And here he is with the Vulcan hand sign. Guess rest is essential if you want to live long and prosper.

75. A Starfleet issued quilt is guaranteed to keep you warm from the coldness of space.

Well, this one is interesting since it's made from triangle pieces. Not sure if you'd want it on a fence.

Well, this one is interesting since it’s made from triangle pieces. Not sure if you’d want it on a fence.

76. These Starfleet necklaces are guaranteed to look great on any officer.

Comes in 3 different colors for each Starfleet shirt. However, those who wear the red one shouldn't beam down to planets.

Comes in 3 different colors for each Starfleet shirt. However, those who wear the red one shouldn’t beam down to planets.

77. Set your drinks on these quality Starfleet coasters.

Guess one's for black coffee and the other's for hot tea. And the Starfleet insignia looks different on each.

Guess one’s for black coffee and the other’s for hot tea. And the Starfleet insignia looks different on each.

78. This sampler will always help ensure you live long and prospurr.

Yes, it's a Spock cat sampler hanging. And yes, it's as adorable as can be. He even makes the Vulcan sign with his paw.

Yes, it’s a Spock cat sampler hanging. And yes, it’s as adorable as can be. He even makes the Vulcan sign with his paw.

79. When you’re on the go, these TNG finger puppets can always be with you.

While TNG is quite overrated, these puppets are quite adorable. Also, like how they're in an envelope.

While TNG is quite overrated, these puppets are quite adorable. Also, like how they’re in an envelope.

80. A laptop bag like this will help your computer live long and prosper.

Costs $186.00 on Etsy. But it sure looks well made to be worth every penny.

Costs $186.00 on Etsy. But it sure looks well made to be worth every penny.

81. These owl Kirk and Spock plushies are sure to be a hoot.

And here's the Spock owl with the tricorder. At any rate, these are surely creative and adorable.

And here’s the Spock owl with the tricorder. At any rate, these are surely creative and adorable.

82. A Starfleet charm bracelet looks great on any officer.

Has Starfleet insignia and beads in 3 different colors. So it will match any Starfleet uniform.

Has Starfleet insignia and beads in 3 different colors. So it will match any Starfleet uniform.

83. In case of a cold, this Starfleet kleenex box will give you the relief you need.

Well, as long as you fill it with tissues, no less. Also made out of wood by the way.

Well, as long as you fill it with tissues, no less. Also made out of wood by the way.

84. A hard drive Enterprise can certainly fly quite well.

Someone made this Enterprise from parts. Among them was an old computer hard drive. Clever.

Someone made this Enterprise from parts. Among them was an old computer hard drive. Clever.

85. Nothing can be more irresistible to the Federation than a Star Trek chibi set.

Includes characters from TNG and the original series. And yes, they're all equally adorable.

Includes characters from TNG and the original series. And yes, they’re all equally adorable.

86. No Trekkie home could be complete without a tribble rug.

Given that it's a tribble rug, this is probably easy to make. But at least the tribbles in your home won't multiply like crazy.

Given that it’s a tribble rug, this is probably easy to make. But at least the tribbles in your home won’t multiply like crazy.

87. A duct tape Starfleet wallet will always keep your cash secure.

Just make sure it doesn't fall into a Ferengi's hands. Since Ferengi are quite greedy and shouldn't be trusted with money.

Just make sure it doesn’t fall into a Ferengi’s hands. Since Ferengi are quite greedy and shouldn’t be trusted with money.

88. Keep your neck warm with this fleece Starfleet scarf.

I'm sure such a scarf like this will keep you logically warm. Well, at least at the neck anyway.

I’m sure such a scarf like this will keep you logically warm. Well, at least at the neck anyway.

89. A pillow like this is guaranteed to help you live long and prosper.

After all, it contains the Vulcan salute on it. So I'm sure it'll give you comfort in some way.

After all, it contains the Vulcan salute on it. So I’m sure it’ll give you comfort in some way.

90. As Captain Picard would say while baking cookies, “Bake it so.”

I have to admit, that's pretty clever to put on a Star Trek oven mitt. However, I'm not sure if Captain Picard bakes in his spare time.

I have to admit, that’s pretty clever to put on a Star Trek oven mitt. However, I’m not sure if Captain Picard bakes in his spare time.

91. When it comes to bead work, this Captain Picard portrait takes the cake.

Now that also looks quite like him. Didn't know you can master something like this with beads. Amazing.

Now that also looks quite like him. Didn’t know you can master something like this with beads. Amazing.

92. For those who need solace, these Star Trek prayer candles are just what you need.

Consists of Kirk, Spock, and Sulu. Made by some company on Etsy. Still, these are quite funny.

Consists of Kirk, Spock, and Sulu. Made by some company on Etsy. Still, these are quite funny.

93. This wooden Starfleet box is sure to keep your belongings safe and secure.

Well, it's probably more for decoration. But it's sure to go well with the red uniform.

Well, it’s probably more for decoration. But it’s sure to go well with the red uniform.

94. No Trekkie girl’s wardrobe could be complete without a Starfleet insignia skirt.

Sure it might not go with any Starfleet uniform. But I'm positive those at the Trekkie convention would love it.

Sure it might not go with any Starfleet uniform. But I’m positive those at the Trekkie convention would love it.

95. For Trekkies, home is always the Bridge.

Because on the Enterprise, most of the action happens there. Still, this is pretty cool.

Because on the Enterprise, most of the action happens there. Still, this is pretty cool.

96. A Spock pendant necklace is always a logical jewelry choice.

Helps that the Spock on this is painted. Also like the frame and chain.

Helps that the Spock on this is painted. Also like the frame and chain.

97. No female officer in Starfleet is well dressed without her Starfleet command earrings.

Comes in 2 variations. Available on Etsy. Nevertheless, so pretty.

Comes in 2 variations. Available on Etsy. Nevertheless, so pretty.

98. It’s only logical that you should have a Spock plate in a china closet.

Well, for display anyway. Not sure about him being surrounded by flowers.

Well, for display anyway. Not sure about him being surrounded by flowers.

99. Keep dry on the Enterprise with your very own Federation uniform towel.

Available in 3 different colors with the insignia embroidered. Will go well in an Trekkie bathroom.

Available in 3 different colors with the insignia embroidered. Will go well in an Trekkie bathroom.

100. Finally, while Kirk and Picard might drink different things, they both keep their beverages in a Federation mug.

Not sure if they have these any Starfleet mess hall. But you kind of think they should.

Not sure if they have these any Starfleet mess hall. But you kind of think they should.

Starfleet Approved Star Trek Merchandise from the Final Frontier

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Like any major franchise that attracts a wide range of popularity, Star Trek has always come with a line of merchandise. After all, Trekkies do consist of a viable market. And yes, there are plenty of Star Trek stuff you can imagine. Like space, Star Trek’s product range is infinite. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should buy a tribble any time soon. Because it’s a reason why certain pets are no longer allowed on the Enterprise. Sure Uhura may be a smart girl, but she shouldn’t have bought a tribble from a mysterious vender. Because tribbles breed like rabbits and eat like crazy. However, they don’t like Klingons. Nevertheless, these cute little parasites certainly help make a great Star Trek episode that’s among the most love. Still, outside the Star Trek universe, you’ll find plenty of ridiculous Star Trek gear in this side of the galaxy. And that’s where I bring you. So for your reading pleasure in the Alpha Quadrant, I give you some of the great products from the final frontier. Starfleet approved, I must say.

 

  1. For added buzz, try some Romulan Ale.
However, since it's an energy drink, it's about as bad for you in this universe as in Star Trek. It's even more harmful in Star Trek that it's been banned from the Federation of Planets.

However, since it’s an energy drink, it’s about as bad for you in this universe as in Star Trek. It’s even more harmful in Star Trek that it’s been banned from the Federation of Planets.

2. Now you can bake like Spock with your very own Vulcan sign oven mitt.

Of course, if you bake some treats with this mitt, you're certain not to live long and prosper. Still, you can't help but like this.

Of course, if you bake some treats with this mitt, you’re certain not to live long and prosper. Still, you can’t help but like this.

3. If you want to eat like the O’Briens you might prefer this Star Trek sushi action set.

Here the Enterprise serves as a sushi sauce dish. Not sure about the chopsticks though. But I think they're plastic.

Here the Enterprise serves as a sushi sauce dish. Not sure about the chopsticks though. But I think they’re plastic.

4. For finer diner, perhaps a bottle of Chateau Picard might suit you quite nicely.

This vintage is from a vineyard from 2267. Which is about over 200 years into the future.

This vintage is from a vineyard from 2267. Which is about over 200 years into the future.

5. For the Trekkie cat, resistance to a scratching post like this is futile.

Not sure if there are any feline fans of Star Trek. But this does have a scratch post of the Enterprise and a Klingon ship.

Not sure if there are any feline fans of Star Trek. But this does have a scratch post of the Enterprise and a Klingon ship.

6. When Worf needs to open an envelope, he uses a Bat’leth opener.

Wait a minute, wouldn't they use e-mail or something more sophisticated in the future? I thought so.

Wait a minute, wouldn’t they use e-mail or something more sophisticated in the future? I thought so.

7. As far as bath toys are concerned, this Spock rubber duckie is a logical choice.

Yes, I know it's not logical to depict Spock as a cute bath toy. But hey, this is kind of adorable.

Yes, I know it’s not logical to depict Spock as a cute bath toy. But hey, this is kind of adorable.

8. Learn how to make your own Star Trek costumes with this book.

The costumes in my last post seem more convincing than this. Besides, these look pretty lame compared to what you'd see at a Trekkie convention.

The costumes in my last post seem more convincing than this. Besides, these look pretty lame compared to what you’d see at a Trekkie convention.

9. Put your night to a logical start by wearing a Spock thong.

Really? A Spock thong? Seriously, that's one of the most illogical things you can put Spock's face on. A Kirk thong would make more sense.

Really? A Spock thong? Seriously, that’s one of the most illogical things you can put Spock’s face on. A Kirk thong would make more sense.

10. Be the big guy on the bridge with your very own Captain Kirk chair.

It's a life size replica of Kirk's chair. So I guess this means it must be very expensive. Probably not worth it.

It’s a life size replica of Kirk’s chair. So I guess this means it must be very expensive. Probably not worth it.

11. Nothing makes a more appropriate mess hall utensil than a Star Trek spork.

Really, a Star Trek spork? This is a highly illogical dining utensil, especially if it doesn't come in a set.

Really, a Star Trek spork? This is a highly illogical dining utensil, especially if it doesn’t come in a set.

12. If you love the music from Star Trek, take a moment to listen to Leonard Nimoy’s album, Mr. Spock’s Music from Outer Space.

On second thought, to listen to his album you have to be out of your Vulcan mind. Even more so if you think Nimoy's music video on the Hobbit was anything to be taken seriously.

On second thought, to listen to his album you have to be out of your Vulcan mind. Even more so if you think Nimoy’s music video on the Hobbit was anything to be taken seriously. Yes, it’s that bad.

13. If you like TNG, celebrate the season with a commemorative ornament on your tree of Captain Picard’s assimilation.

Because nothing depicts the joy of Christmas like a beloved Star Trek captain being kidnapped and changed into a mindless cyborg killing machine. Seriously, Hallmark, this is really fucked up.

Because nothing depicts the joy of Christmas like a beloved Star Trek captain being kidnapped and changed into a mindless cyborg killing machine. Seriously, Hallmark, this is really fucked up.

14. Pon Farr cologne is the perfect fragrance to set you in the mood when the time is right.

Which for Vulcans is every 7 years when they mate. However, you really don't want to be anywhere near Vulcans when they're horny.

Which for Vulcans is every 7 years when they mate. However, you really don’t want to be anywhere near Vulcans when they’re horny. Makes me wonder when Spock and Uhura’s first time will be like in the new movies. Well, when Spock’s going through Pon Farr, anyway.

15. For galactic marshmallow fun, you can’t go wrong with a Star Trek marshmallow dispenser.

What the hell? Seriously, why would anyone have a marshmallow dispenser. That's ridiculous. Let alone one as a Star Trek tie-in product.

What the hell? Seriously, why would anyone have a marshmallow dispenser. That’s ridiculous. Let alone one as a Star Trek tie-in product.

16. Grace your tree this Christmas with an ornament of Spock’s farewell to Kirk from Wrath of Khan.

Because nothing brings out the joy of Christmas seeing Kirk and Spock saying goodbye before Spock sacrifices his life for the crew. Sure he gets better, but, Hallmark, is this an appropriate Christmas ornament? Really?

Because nothing brings out the joy of Christmas seeing Kirk and Spock saying goodbye before Spock sacrifices his life for the crew. Sure he gets better, but, Hallmark, is this an appropriate Christmas ornament? Really?

17. In the Federation of Planets, latinum is a general currency.

However, this is probably not real latinum and bound to leave Quark quite angry and disappointed. And this is a guy who takes his money seriously.

However, this is probably not real latinum and bound to leave Quark quite angry and disappointed. And this is a guy who takes his money seriously.

18. Cook some old Star Trek favorites with your very own Star Trek cookbook.

Not sure about having Neelix on the cover though his bad food has more to do with lack of ingredients than anything. Still, some recipes might make you feel like Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest when he sarcastically remarks, "Just like Mummy used to make."

Not sure about having Neelix on the cover though his bad food has more to do with lack of ingredients than anything. Still, some recipes might make you feel like Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest when he sarcastically remarks, “Just like Mummy used to make.”

19. When you think tomorrow will never come, try Red Shirt cologne today.

So if you're a Starfleet security officer assigned planet duty, try Red Shirt cologne. Because chances are, you're coming back.

So if you’re a Starfleet security officer assigned planet duty, try Red Shirt cologne. Because chances are, you’re coming back.

20. Nothing graces your china cabinet like a Star Trek Faberge egg.

Yes, this exists. Not sure what makes Star Trek appropriate for a Faberge egg. But I'm sure some rich Trekkie would buy it.

Yes, this exists. Not sure what makes Star Trek appropriate for a Faberge egg. But I’m sure some rich Trekkie would buy it.

21. Like Star Trek: TNG? Then check out these action figures of your favorite characters when they’re seniors.

The Farmer Captain Picard is especially hilarious because Sir Patrick Stewart is 75 and looks very much the same as he did then. Also, why do they have Data even age?

The Farmer Captain Picard is especially hilarious because Sir Patrick Stewart is 75 and looks very much the same as he did then. Also, why do they have Data even age?

22. For Andorian fans, here’s an action figure for you.

From The Robot's Voice: "The host of the 23rd century version of What Not to Wear, the Andorian can help you prep for your date with Captain Kirk or give you advice on how to handle a pissy Vulcan who is experiencing Ponn Farr. Unless he (she?) gets suffocated by some sort of pink fabric monster first. Or could all that pink on the figure just be inflammation of some kind? Better break out the space penicillin to be sure."

From The Robot’s Voice: “The host of the 23rd century version of What Not to Wear, the Andorian can help you prep for your date with Captain Kirk or give you advice on how to handle a pissy Vulcan who is experiencing Ponn
Farr. Unless he (she?) gets suffocated by some sort of pink fabric monster
first. Or could all that pink on the figure just be inflammation of some kind? Better break out the space penicillin to be sure.”

23. Nothing looks better on a formal suit than a pair of cufflinks depicting a logo for the United Federation of Planets.

Let me be frank, I don't think you'd be taken seriously with cufflinks like these unless you're at a Star Trek convention. Seriously, why?

Let me be frank, I don’t think you’d be taken seriously with cufflinks like these unless you’re at a Star Trek convention. Seriously, why?

24. Smoking Trekkies out there might like a cigarette case depicting the first ever Vulcan breast meld.

This has to be photoshopped. Otherwise, bad Spock. You're a really dirty Vulcan man, Spock. I thought you were better than that.

This has to be photoshopped. Otherwise, bad Spock. You’re a really dirty Vulcan man, Spock. I thought you were better than that.

25. Bake a pie out of this world with this Star Trek dish.

Instead of "Beam me up, Scotty," it says, "Eat me up, Scotty." Then again, I'm sure Scotty has an appetite for pastries and whiskey.

Instead of “Beam me up, Scotty,” it says, “Eat me up, Scotty.” Then again, I’m sure Scotty has an appetite for pastries and whiskey.

26. To impress the Trekkie in your life, these nipple pasties will sure please.

Well, I guess I know what the strippers are wearing at a Trekkie convention. Still, these are ridiculous.

Well, I guess I know what the strippers are wearing at a Trekkie convention. Still, these are ridiculous.

27.  No pizza night in the Alpha Quadrant is complete without a pizza cutter of the Enterprise.

Then again, the Enterprise does resemble a pizza cutter. Still, not sure what the pizzas on the ship would look like. Maybe I don't want to know.

Then again, the Enterprise does resemble a pizza cutter. Still, not sure what the pizzas on the ship would look like. Maybe I don’t want to know.

28. For a planetary golfer, this set will sure help their game.

Of course, you'll never see the red putter and golf balls again after use. Still, I think this is crazy. But I'm not a fan of golf.

Of course, you’ll never see the red putter and golf balls again after use. Still, I think this is crazy. But I’m not a fan of golf.

29. For Christmas, celebrate the spirit of the season with a commemorative Hallmark ornament of Kirk and Spock’s fight on Vulcan on what should’ve been his wedding.

Because nothing brings out the spirit of Christmas than your fiancee having you fight your best friend so she won't have to marry you. Of course, it would've been avoided if Spock just dumped her so she could be with the guy she wants.

Because nothing brings out the spirit of Christmas than your fiancee having you fight your best friend to the death so she won’t have to marry you. Of course, it would’ve been avoided if Spock just dumped her so she could be with the guy she wants.

30. Fans of “Menagerie” might enjoy this Captain Pike ornament on their Christmas tree.

Because nothing says Christmas like seeing a a guy in a wheelchair after he's been paralyzed and badly injured from an explosion. I don't know why the people at Hallmark thought this was a great idea.

Because nothing says Christmas like seeing a a guy in a wheelchair after he’s been paralyzed and badly injured from an explosion. I don’t know why the people at Hallmark thought this was a great idea.

31. If you like “The Man Trap,” then you’ll probably enjoy a Hallmark ornament of Kirk with the creature from that episode.

For nothing says Christmas like being attacked by a creature that seems to resemble a zombie Abominable Snowman. They're just hugging each other I promise (sarcasm).

For nothing says Christmas like being attacked by a creature that seems to resemble a zombie Abominable Snowman. They’re just hugging each other I promise (sarcasm).

32. Celebrate your galactic Christmas with this Hallmark ornament commemorating Kirk’s epic fight with Gorn.

For nothing says, "Peace on Earth" than being trapped on a planet and forced to fight a humanoid Godzilla like alien to the death against your will in a trial by combat. To be fair, this is a reason why "Arena" turns out to be an unintentionally funny episode.

For nothing says, “Peace on Earth” than being trapped on a planet and forced to fight a humanoid Godzilla like alien to the death against your will in a trial by combat. To be fair, this is a reason why “Arena” turns out to be an unintentionally funny episode.

33. Shirtless Kirk cologne is bound to make you feel like a man who’s just escaped with his life on a hostile planet.

For the male Starfleet captain who's beamed in the nick of time when in an extremely dangerous situation that he only escapes after his shirt's been ripped off his back. Dead red shirt security officers not included.

For the male Starfleet captain who’s beamed in the nick of time when in an extremely dangerous situation that he only escapes after his shirt’s been ripped off his back. Dead red shirt security officers not included.

34. For amusement, it’s said that there’s no better board game for warriors than Klingon Monopoly.

Uh, I'm not sure you'd want to see Klingons playing Monopoly. I guess the winner is the one who's left standing or is still alive.

Uh, I’m not sure you’d want to see Klingons playing Monopoly. I guess the winner is the one who’s left standing or is still alive.

35.  There’s no better beer for a Klingon warrior’s thirst after a battle than War Nog.

And let's hope that Klingons have a very high tolerance for alcohol. Because you really don't want to be near a bunch of Klingons if they're drunk. Or angry. Or horny. Or partying.

And let’s hope that Klingons have a very high tolerance for alcohol. Because you really don’t want to be near a bunch of Klingons if they’re drunk. Or angry. Or horny. Or partying.

36. Plan your trip to the final frontier with your very own Star Trek casket or urn.

Caskets come in 3 variations such as Klingon, Delta Quadrant, and United Federation of Planets. Still, I'm sure it's going to cost much more than a normal casket would.

Caskets come in 3 variations such as Klingon, Delta Quadrant, and United Federation of Planets. Still, I’m sure it’s going to cost much more than a normal casket would.

37. If you prefer a more Trekkie worthy sendoff, this photon torpedo coffin is just for you.

This was inspired by Spock's coffin that was launched in space after he died in Wrath of Khan. Still, I'm not sure if even a die hard Trekkie would buy this or afford it.

This was inspired by Spock’s coffin that was launched in space after he died in Wrath of Khan. Still, I’m not sure if even a die hard Trekkie would buy this or afford it.

38. Star Trek Fun Pix Eggo waffles are part of this galactic breakfast.

Eggo issued these in 2009 when the first reboot Star Trek came out. Of course, let go of Spock's Eggos or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of a Vulcan nerve pinch.

Eggo issued these in 2009 when the first reboot Star Trek came out. Of course, let go of Spock’s Eggos or you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of a Vulcan nerve pinch.

39. Any Star Trek fan is bound to want a limited edition of Star Trek Into Darkness Blue-Ray DVD with piece of a meteorite from the Nantan meteor shower in 1516.

From What Culture: "Now why wouldn't you take a 497-year old meteorite and carve it into a Star Trek symbol, and then glue it onto a DVD case for a one-off edition of Star Trek Into Darkness on Blu-Ray? Called the Meteorite edition, with a limited edition of one, this was given away as a prize win for Total Film magazine earlier in the year. It is bonkers. Next we'll have dinosaur bones carved into toothpicks to promote Colgate toothpaste. The meteorite itself fell in 1516 AD in the Guangxi-Zhaung province of China from the Nantan meteorite shower. It has to be the most ridiculous limited edition bonus item I've ever seen with a home media release. At least thankfully they didn't do a run of a thousand of these."

From What Culture: “Now why wouldn’t you take a 497-year old meteorite and carve it into a Star Trek symbol, and then glue it onto a DVD case for a one-off edition of Star Trek Into Darkness on Blu-Ray? Called the Meteorite edition, with a limited edition of one, this was given away as a prize win for Total Film magazine earlier in the year. It is bonkers. Next we’ll have dinosaur bones carved into toothpicks to promote Colgate toothpaste. The meteorite itself fell in 1516 AD in the Guangxi-Zhaung province of China from the Nantan meteorite shower. It has to be the most ridiculous limited edition bonus item I’ve ever seen with a home media release. At least thankfully they didn’t do a run of a thousand of these.”

40. As we all know Picard always loves his Earl Grey tea. Hot.

Nevertheless, they have a special Star Trek line for that. However, you can buy Earl Grey basically anywhere.

Nevertheless, they have a special Star Trek line for that. However, you can buy Earl Grey basically anywhere.

41. Find your own buried treasure with your very own Star Trek metal detector.

From The Robot's Voice: "Because being seen on the beach with a metal detector wasn?t cool enough, you really need to add the Star Trek logo to the equation. Seriously, if you like Trek, you’re going to be in reasonable danger of having sand kicked in your face by some tan, toned bastard anyways during any beach trip anyways. Carrying a Star Trek metal detector with you is like carrying a sign saying “please punch me and never stop.” If this was a potential beating detector, it would never stop bleeping."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Because being seen on the beach with a metal detector wasn?t cool enough, you really need to add the Star Trek logo to the equation. Seriously, if you like Trek, you’re going to be in reasonable danger of having sand kicked in your face by some tan, toned bastard anyways during any beach trip anyways. Carrying a Star Trek metal detector with you is like carrying a sign saying “please punch me and never stop.” If this was a potential beating detector, it would never stop bleeping.”

42. Entertain your Trekkie guests at dinner with this Star Trek: TNG murder mystery kit.

From The Robot's Voice: "Combining the nerdy pursuit of Star Trek LARPing with the arguably less nerdy pursuit of a murder mystery game isn?t exactly on the chocolate/peanut butter scale. Worse, since the game’s makers clearly thought all Trek fans had the emotional stability of a developmentally challenged child, it’s not even a “murder” mystery?some stupid orb from some stupid planet gets stolen, and players have to figure who did that instead. The most shameful part is the booklet (I admit I bought one)?it suggests that the character playing Worf attempt to do their own makeup."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Combining the nerdy pursuit of Star Trek LARPing with the arguably less nerdy pursuit of a murder mystery game isn?t exactly on the chocolate/peanut butter scale. Worse, since the game’s makers clearly thought all Trek fans had the emotional stability of a developmentally challenged child, it’s not even a “murder” mystery?some stupid orb from some stupid planet gets stolen, and players have to figure who did that instead. The most shameful part is the booklet (I admit I bought one)?it suggests that the character playing Worf attempt to do their own makeup.”

43. Explore the final frontier with your very own Star Trek Astro helmet.

This looks more appropriate for a bug costume.How this came to exist is one of those great unsolved mysteries.

This looks more appropriate for a bug costume.How this came to exist is one of those great unsolved mysteries.

44. Nothing graces your Christmas tree more than a Borg cube ornament.

For nothing shows the spirit of Christmas like a space craft that's known to turn people and aliens into mindless, killing cyborgs. Resistance is futile.

For nothing shows the spirit of Christmas like a space craft that’s known to turn people and aliens into mindless, killing cyborgs. Resistance is futile.

45. Those who liked Star Trek: Voyager might enjoy these figures of Species 8472 with Ensign Harry Kim.

From The Robot's Voice: "When not ripping off plots and supporting characters from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Voyager loved patting itself on the back for everything from the half-robot broad in the spandex to the thrills that came from Tom and B’Ellana’s domestic problems. This self-aggrandizing reached its apex in 1997 when the series presented Trek’s first-ever CGI villain, Species 8472. Hopes were high that the creatures would become as beloved as the Borg–who were quickly brought in as the alien race’s enemies in yet another shameless grab for ratings when no one cared about the new foe. These days, Species 8472 is a reminder of the glut of poor CGI that dominated late-1990s sci-fi. Released in a two-pack with a Harry Kim that is apparently covered in shit, the figure looks more realistic than the actual creature did. Not that that justifies its existence or anything."

From The Robot’s Voice: “When not ripping off plots and supporting characters from Star
Trek: The Next Generation, Voyager loved patting itself on the back for everything from the half-robot broad in the spandex to the thrills that
came from Tom and B’Ellana’s domestic problems. This self-aggrandizing reached
its apex in 1997 when the series presented Trek’s first-ever CGI villain, Species 8472. Hopes were high that the creatures would become as beloved as the Borg–who were quickly brought in as the alien race’s enemies in yet another shameless grab for ratings when no one cared about the new foe. These days, Species 8472 is a reminder of the glut of poor CGI that dominated late-1990s
sci-fi. Released in a two-pack with a Harry Kim that is apparently covered in shit, the figure looks more realistic than the actual creature did. Not that that justifies its existence or anything.”

46. Those who like Spock might enjoy their very own Spock helmet.

From The Robot's Voice: "After Spock lost his brain (in the single greatest Trek episode ever written), Captain Kirk made him wear this Brain Protector Helmet which had a siren in case anyone tried to steal it. Wait, that’s not right. This is actually just a phenomenally stupid toy that some cheap-ass toymaker decided to put Spock’s name on, and another easy way to make certain you get beaten up at school. However, we?d pay 20 bucks to see Leonard Nimoy put one on." I can't think of any logical reason why this exists. Someone must be out of their Vulcan mind.

From The Robot’s Voice: “After Spock lost his brain (in the single greatest Trek episode ever written), Captain Kirk made him wear this Brain Protector Helmet which had a siren in case anyone tried to steal it. Wait, that’s not right. This is actually just a phenomenally stupid toy that some cheap-ass toymaker decided to put Spock’s name on, and another easy way to make certain you get beaten up at school. However, we?d pay 20 bucks to see Leonard Nimoy put one on.” I can’t think of any logical reason why this exists. Someone must be out of their Vulcan mind.

47. Put your earthly remains in your very own Starfleet urn.

Guess these are for the die hard Trek fans who can't afford to have their ashes launched into space. Still, this is ridiculous.

Guess these are for the die hard Trek fans who can’t afford to have their ashes launched into space. Still, this is ridiculous.

48. For your galactic game room, you can’t go wrong with this Star Trek Into Darkness pool table.

Said to have LED lights. However, I'm not sure why anyone would want to buy this. And it's probably as expensive as hell.

Said to have LED lights. However, I’m not sure why anyone would want to buy this. And it’s probably as expensive as hell.

49. Those who want to go where no turtle has gone before would certainly enjoy a set of Star Trek Ninja Turtles.

I know I had these on another post from last year. But still, Star Trek Ninja Turtles seem as idiotic as they sound. Seriously, why?

I know I had these on another post from last year. But still, Star Trek Ninja Turtles seem as idiotic as they sound. Seriously, why?

50. For those who liked, “Mirror, Mirror,” this commemorative ornament of Evil Spock using mind meld on Dr. McCoy is a must have.

For nothing makes Christmas more special than using a mind meld on your friend as a form of torture in an alternate universe. Yeah, I don't know what Hallmark was thinking either.

For nothing makes Christmas more special than using a mind meld on your friend as a form of torture in an alternate universe. Yeah, I don’t know what Hallmark was thinking either.

51. Make it so with the lady Trekkie in your life with this Enterprise engagement ring.

On second thought, you're probably better off to engage with a standard ring. Just to be on the safe side.

On second thought, you’re probably better off to engage with a standard ring. Just to be on the safe side.

52. No Christmas in the Alpha Quadrant could ever be without Kirk and Spock nutcrackers.

Yes, these are Kirk and Spock nutcrackers. But their existence tends to defy logic other than the incentive to make money that is.

Yes, these are Kirk and Spock nutcrackers. But their existence tends to defy logic other than the incentive to make money that is.

53. Answer your own calls like a Trekkie with your very own Enterprise phone.

Yes, it looks cool. However, it looks like you could injure your arm picking up this thing. Wonder how you'd explain that.

Yes, it looks cool. However, it looks like you could injure your arm picking up this thing. Wonder how you’d explain that.

54. Please the Trekkie in your life with a set of panties from The Next Generation.

Well, at least in TNG, red doesn't mean expendable. Still, I know what you're thinking. These are ridiculous.

Well, at least in TNG, red doesn’t mean expendable. Still, I know what you’re thinking. These are ridiculous.

55. If you liked Riker from The Next Generation, then you’ll certainly like this Hallmark Christmas ornament of him.

Don't know about you but this looks as if Riker is seems like he's squatting down and about to take a shit. Yeah, I know it's hilarious.

Don’t know about you but this looks as if Riker is seems like he’s squatting down and about to take a shit. Yeah, I know it’s hilarious.

56. Want to sound commanding on the road, then these Star Trek car horns are just for you.

Now hearing the Star Trek theme from you will make it known to other drivers that someone cut you in traffic. Or that you're a jerk who likes to show off your geekyness to the world.

Now hearing the Star Trek theme from you will make it known to other drivers that someone cut you in traffic. Or that you’re a jerk who likes to show off your geekyness to the world.

57. Turn the lights down with this Star Trek Voice Activated Light Switch & Dimmer.

For those who like to imitate Picard's commands as well as are too lazy to use a light switch. Available at Klear Gear.

For those who like to imitate Picard’s commands as well as are too lazy to use a light switch. Available at Klear Gear.

58. Trekkies who like Peanuts will certainly adore a figurine of Woodstock Spock.

While he's logical to a fault, he only utters in lines. However, I'm sure Snoopy Kirk is bound to hump on any hot alien chick that moves.

While he’s logical to a fault, he only utters in lines. However, I’m sure Snoopy Kirk is bound to hump on any hot alien chick that moves.

59. Nothing makes a Trek Christmas like a Captain’s yule log.

I think it comes in a gift set. Still, looks like a chocolate roll covered in Easter M&Ms.

I think it comes in a gift set. Still, looks like a chocolate roll covered in Easter M&Ms.

60. Galactic rail enthusiasts would love to see Trek meat the tracks with this Star Trek train set.

By the way, this isn't a toy. It's a collectible. Yeah, I don't know what connection Star Trek has to trains either. A commemorative Harry Potter train set would make more sense.

By the way, this isn’t a toy. It’s a collectible. Yeah, I don’t know what connection Star Trek has to trains either. A commemorative Harry Potter train set would make more sense.

61. Tiberius cologne is sure to make you smell like a Starfleet captain boldly going where no man has gone before with the ladies.

As we know of Captain Kirk's reputation with the ladies. Side effects might include contracting alien STDs or unplanned pregnancy, especially for men.

As we know of Captain Kirk’s reputation with the ladies. Side effects might include contracting alien STDs or unplanned pregnancy, especially for men.

62. Sulu cologne is perfect for the man who does everything.

Of course, this doesn't mean he's going to get as much tail as Kirk on the Enterprise. But at least he'll have some skill with a sword.

Of course, this doesn’t mean he’s going to get as much tail as Kirk on the Enterprise. But at least he’ll have some skill with a sword.

63. Keep your money secure in the Alpha Quadrant with your very own Ferengi Savings bank.

However, if you're traveling through space, remember to never put your money in a Ferengi bank. Seriously, these guys are known for being greedy and you won't get your money back.

However, if you’re traveling through space, remember to never put your money in a Ferengi bank. Seriously, these guys are known for being greedy and you won’t get your money back.

64. Fans of Star Trek: Voyager are bound to enjoy this mutated Tom Paris action figure.

From The Robot's Voice: "Remember how Star Trek: Voyager‘s “Threshold” was recently voted by Topless Robot readers to be the stupidest sci-fi TV episode? Well, that televised groin punch also gave us this figure of Tom Paris. It’s unlikely that any Voyager fan was clamoring for a figure of a mutated version of the show’s most milquetoast character dressed in nursing scrubs, but they got it anyway. Devotees of the episode’s bullshit fish creatures will be filled with joy to learn that this toy also came with three of the baffling writer’s constructs as accessories."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Remember how Star Trek: Voyager‘s “Threshold” was recently voted by Topless Robot readers to be the stupidest sci-fi TV episode? Well, that televised groin punch also gave us this figure of Tom Paris. It’s unlikely that any Voyager fan was clamoring for a figure of a mutated version of the show’s most milquetoast character dressed in nursing scrubs, but they got it anyway. Devotees of the episode’s bullshit fish creatures will be filled with joy to learn that this toy also came with three of the baffling writer’s constructs as accessories.”

65. Descend to the planet with this parachuting Spock action figure.

From The Robot's Voice: "For those days when a Vulcan wants to jump from the Enterprise through a planet’s atmosphere, most certainly burning himself to a crisp, assuming the vacuum of space doesn’t make him freeze and implode first. Drugstore toy maker Ahi extended this line of parachuting figures to characters from Planet of the Apes too, which is equally baffling. Although if the PotA apes had parachute technology, they’d be even more deadly, that’s for sure."

From The Robot’s Voice: “For those days when a Vulcan wants to jump from the Enterprise through a planet’s atmosphere, most certainly burning himself to a crisp, assuming the vacuum of space doesn’t make him freeze and implode first. Drugstore toy maker Ahi extended this line of parachuting figures to characters from Planet of the Apes too, which is equally baffling. Although if the PotA apes had parachute technology, they’d be even more deadly, that’s for sure.”

66. Do your own galactic calculations with your very own Trekulator.

From The Robot's Voice: "It?s a calculator with a picture of Captain Kirk on it. Tarting up something that is even mildly educational is unforgivable, and even a face as pretty as Bill Shatner’s can?t take away that pain."

From The Robot’s Voice: “It?s a calculator with a picture of Captain Kirk on it. Tarting up something that is even mildly educational is unforgivable, and even a face as pretty as Bill Shatner’s can?t take away that pain.”

67. Those who remember the first Star Trek movie might not know that it had a putty tie-in.

From The Robot's Voice: "Don’t remember this from the movie? You obviously must have dozed off during the scene where Scotty saved the day by copying this week?s Beetle Bailey."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Don’t remember this from the movie? You obviously must have dozed off during the scene where Scotty saved the day by copying this week?s Beetle Bailey.”

68. From Star Trek: Generations comes your very own Worf action figure.

From The Robot's Voice: "Based on Star Trek: Generations’ holodeck scene in which Worf is promoted to Lieutenant Commander, this figure has everyone’s favorite ornery Klingon dressed up in 19th century nautical attire–which is really stupid since there’s clearly no honor in looking like a jackass."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Based on Star Trek: Generations’ holodeck scene in which Worf is promoted to Lieutenant Commander, this figure has everyone’s favorite ornery Klingon dressed up in 19th century nautical
attire–which is really stupid since there’s clearly no honor in looking like a jackass.”

69. Like Geordi LaForge? Well, enjoy this Cadet LaForge action figure with his very own CD-ROM.

From The Robot's Voice: "Packaged with a CD-ROM–which ran on Windows 95 no less!–Playmates’ Starfleet Academy line of figures included what was intended to be young versions of Picard, Riker, Geordi and Worf. Each varies in degrees of dreadfulness, but La Forge tops all of them. The sick minds of Playmates’ developing staff decided that he would strut around campus in a silver codpiece. It was probably one that he engineered to do all sorts of kinky stuff to that Brahms girl in his Temporal Causality 101 class. Creepy. No wonder dude couldn’t ever get laid."

From The Robot’s Voice: “Packaged with a CD-ROM–which ran on Windows 95 no less!–Playmates’ Starfleet Academy line of figures included what was intended to be young versions of Picard, Riker, Geordi and Worf. Each varies in degrees of dreadfulness, but La Forge tops all of them. The sick minds of Playmates’ developing staff decided that he would strut around campus in a silver codpiece. It was probably one that he engineered to do all sorts of kinky stuff to that Brahms girl in his Temporal Causality 101 class. Creepy. No wonder dude couldn’t ever get laid.”

70. Commemorate your love for Star Trek with this set of collectible spoons.

Each character has his or her own spoon except Chekov and Sulu. For they have to share. I don't have any logical explanation for this either.

Each character has his or her own spoon except Chekov and Sulu. For they have to share. I don’t have any logical explanation for this either.

71. For a space time summer snack, try Star Trek freezecicles you can make yourself.

Because nothing says summer fun like freezing and eating fruity versions of your favorite Star Trek characters. Also, the kids look kind of creepy on the packaging.

Because nothing says summer fun like freezing and eating fruity versions of your favorite Star Trek characters. Also, the kids look kind of creepy on the packaging.

72. Any young Trekkie always has to have a lunch box of talking Worf.

So carrying your lunch in Worf's head that also talks. Now that's disturbing. Wonder what sadistic bastard came up with that idea.

So carrying your lunch in Worf’s head that also talks. Now that’s disturbing. Wonder what sadistic bastard came up with that idea.

73. Engage with this quality Star Trek logo engagement ring.

Guys, just because your girlfriend likes Star Trek doesn't mean she wants to get engaged with a Star Trek ring. Better go with a standard one from a jewelry store.

Guys, just because your girlfriend likes Star Trek doesn’t mean she wants to get engaged with a Star Trek ring. Better go with a standard one from a jewelry store.

74. Chop your vegetables on this Enterprise cutting board.

Use it to make your own galactic salad. A must have for any cook in the ships mess hall.

Use it to make your own galactic salad. A must have for any cook in the ships mess hall.

75. Tell Scotty to beam you up with this USB communicator replica.

Keep in mind the original series was made in the 1960s. Still, even by 21st century standards it looks hopelessly outdated.

Keep in mind the original series was made in the 1960s. Still, even by 21st century standards it looks hopelessly outdated.

76. Test samples on your planet with your very own tricorder play set.

Yes, it kind of looks like something you'd find in a 60s Bond film. But don't give this to a Starfleet security officer. That's for sure.

Yes, it kind of looks like something you’d find in a 60s Bond film. But don’t give this to a Starfleet security officer. That’s for sure.

77. Now you can snuggle with your very own soft poseable Spock.

I don't know about you. But to me, Spock doesn't strike me as a cuddly guy. So this toy doesn't make any logical sense.

I don’t know about you. But to me, Spock doesn’t strike me as a cuddly guy. So this toy doesn’t make any logical sense.

78. Store your alcoholic beverages in your very own Spock wine decanter.

Uh, did these people who made this get the idea that Vulcans don't drink? Because it's pretty apparent in the show.

Uh, did these people who made this get the idea that Vulcans don’t drink? Because it’s pretty apparent in the show.

79. Dine like a Starfleet captain with this TNG dinner set.

I'm sure such a set will never be used except for display in a china closet. Knowing how some nerds tend to be collectors. Still, this is ridiculous.

I’m sure such a set will never be used except for display in a china closet. Knowing how some nerds tend to be collectors. Still, this is ridiculous.

80. An Enterprise coffee table will sure make a fine addition to any living room.

Not sure if it's bought or made by someone with too much time on their hands. Either way, it's sure to become a fine conversation piece.

Not sure if it’s bought or made by someone with too much time on their hands. Either way, it’s sure to become a fine conversation piece.

81. If you like Star Trek, then decorate your windows with some Star Trek instant stained glass.

Now that just makes no logical sense. How is instant stained glass supposed to work? Or are these better known as stickies?

Now that just makes no logical sense. How is instant stained glass supposed to work? Or are these better known as stickies?

82. Andorian fans would surely love to wear their own Andorian hat to keep warm.

From Games Radar: "Set Phasers to fun? Based on Thy’lek Shran from the series Star Trek: Enterprise, this headwear homage will be greeted with nods of recognition by only the most stringent of Trekkies – everyone else will think you’ve just been separated from the world’s weirdest stag do. Hopefully the fleece lining can still keep you warm and cosy when all of your friends refuse to stand anywhere near you.."

From Games Radar: “Based on Thy’lek Shran from the series Star Trek: Enterprise, this headwear homage will be greeted with nods of recognition by only the most stringent of Trekkies – everyone else will think you’ve just been separated from the world’s weirdest stag do. Hopefully the fleece lining can still keep you warm and cosy when all of your friends refuse to stand anywhere near you..”

83. Fans of Captain Picard would surely crave for their own Picard quote bottle necklace.

From Games Radar: "Wearing a bottle containing a hand-sculpted Starfleet logo and sparkly star confetti might seem like a particularly special type of futility, but the only way to make it worse? Add an obscure Picard quote that is actually incorrect. Here you get the words “What we leave behind is as important as how we've lived" but Jean-Luc’s actual words (spoken in Star Trek Generations) are “What we leave behind is NOT as important as how we've lived" thus the point of his bald-headed wisdom has been squarely missed. Either way, you should definitely just leave this behind."

From Games Radar: “Wearing a bottle containing a hand-sculpted Starfleet logo and sparkly star confetti might seem like a particularly special type of futility, but the only way to make it worse? Add an obscure Picard quote that is actually incorrect. Here you get the words “What we leave behind is as important as how we’ve lived” but Jean-Luc’s actual words (spoken in Star Trek Generations) are “What we leave behind is NOT as important as how we’ve lived” thus the point of his bald-headed wisdom has been squarely missed. Either way, you should definitely just leave this behind.”

84. This James T. Kirk leadlight style painting will sure go great in any home.

From Games Radar: "Of all the thousands of spectacular Star Trek fan portraits that can be found for sale on the internet, this might be the least flattering and the most hideous. Even the artist himself, in listing the item, admits “this thing creeps me out”. Yes, that’s because it looks like you pieced it together from William Shatner’s actual skin."

From Games Radar: “Of all the thousands of spectacular Star Trek fan portraits that can be found for sale on the internet, this might be the least flattering and the most hideous. Even the artist himself, in listing the item, admits “this thing creeps me out”. Yes, that’s because it looks like you pieced it together from William Shatner’s actual skin.”

85. Now Klingons can enjoy fine quality literature with their own translation of Hamlet.

From Games Radar: "This translation of Shakespeare's most notable play (here given the full title of The Tragedy of Khamlet, Son of the Emperor of Qo'noS) was conceived as an experiment to prove right Klingon Chancellor Gorkon who, in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country , stated: “You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon”. He was right. This is an experience like no other."

From Games Radar: “This translation of Shakespeare’s most notable play (here given the full title of The Tragedy of Khamlet, Son of the Emperor of Qo’noS) was conceived as an experiment to prove right Klingon Chancellor Gorkon who, in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country , stated: “You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon”. He was right. This is an experience like no other.”

86. Commemorate “The Trouble with Tribbles” with this commemorative Christmas ornament from Hallmark.

Because nothing says Christmas like being buried up to your chest with adorable puff balls with voracious appetites and a fast rate of reproduction. Still, that was a fantastic episode.

Because nothing says Christmas like being buried up to your chest with adorable puff balls with voracious appetites and a fast rate of reproduction. Still, that was a fantastic episode.

87. Those who enjoy the New Frontier Star Trek books may like their very own Captain Calhoun action figure.

Now I know what you're thinking. Who the hell is Captain Calhoun? Well, don't ask me because I don't have the slightest idea either.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Who the hell is Captain Calhoun? Well, don’t ask me because I don’t have the slightest idea either.

88. Fans of Q are sure to enjoy this Warp Series addition action figure.

Apparently, Q couldn't decide what to wear. So he decided to come as some sort of, I don't know. Anyway, he should just go back and change.

Apparently, Q couldn’t decide what to wear. So he decided to come as some sort of, I don’t know. Anyway, he should just go back and change.

89. This electronic door chime will make you feel you’re on the Enterprise.

From Games Radar: " What's the best function of The Enterprise? Is it its warp speed capabilities? Its transporter room? The replicator that can produce thousands of different dishes on command? No, it's probably the way the doors go swisshh when they open and close. And now you can have that too with this probably-quite-difficult-to-set-up-with-very-little-payoff kit."

From Games Radar: ” What’s the best function of The Enterprise? Is it its warp speed capabilities? Its transporter room? The replicator that can produce thousands of different dishes on command? No, it’s probably the way the doors go swisshh when they open and close. And now you can have that too with this probably-quite-difficult-to-set-up-with-very-little-payoff kit.”

90. Grace your living room with this 4oth anniversary teddy bear Kirk figurine from the Hamilton Collection.

Really a bear Kirk? On one hand, it's cute. On the other hand, it's tacky as hell. But I'm sure the Hamilton Collection tried to sell you this in a Sunday newspaper magazine.

Really a bear Kirk? On one hand, it’s cute. On the other hand, it’s tacky as hell. But I’m sure the Hamilton Collection tried to sell you this in a Sunday newspaper magazine.

91. It’s always happy hour in the universe with these Star Trek bottle openers.

Well, they have 2 of the Enterprise and one of a Klingon ship. Not sure why they don't have one of Deep Space Nine since that's where Quark's bar is.

Well, they have 2 of the Enterprise and one of a Klingon ship. Not sure why they don’t have one of Deep Space Nine since that’s where Quark’s bar is.

92. As far as commemorative spoons go, TNG has their own line as well.

From The Robot's Pajamas: "Ah yes, my fine collection of Next Generation spoons. No, no. We don’t use them for soup. They are to look at. They’re spoons AND photos of the Next Generation crew. A perfect match!" And I bet they're not for eating with either.

From The Robot’s Pajamas: “Ah yes, my fine collection of Next Generation spoons. No, no. We don’t use them for soup. They are to look at. They’re spoons AND photos of the Next Generation crew. A perfect match!” And I bet they’re not for eating with either.

93. TNG collectible action marbles are bound to provide fun for hours for the kids.

From The Robot's Pajamas: "Kids that love Star Trek are very likely to throw down their video game controllers and PC mouse and charge the stores en masse for plastic marbles! Marbles. Kids can’t get enough of them!"

From The Robot’s Pajamas: “Kids that love Star Trek are very likely to throw down their video game controllers and PC mouse and charge the stores en masse for plastic marbles! Marbles. Kids can’t get enough of them!”

94. Fans of Captain Picard will love this commemorative coin of him with its own case.

From The Robot's Pajamas: "Want a Star Trek coin? I don’t know what you’d do with it. It’s just a tiny coin with an image of Picard on it. That would get old fast. Well, at least it only costs $150 new." In other words, it's way overpriced.

From The Robot’s Pajamas: “Want a Star Trek coin? I don’t know what you’d do with it. It’s just a tiny coin with an image of Picard on it. That would get old fast. Well, at least it only costs $150 new.” In other words, it’s way overpriced.

95. Fans of the Next Generation will certainly love a framed portrait of their favorite characters with this frame.

From The Robot's Pajamas: "Above is a series of photos of the TNG cast that look like they belong in a high school yearbook. I’m surprised Worf’s background isn’t a bunch of neon lasers. It’s not the most exciting series of images. And they charged $100 for it. That’s just adding insult to injury."

From The Robot’s Pajamas: “Above is a series of photos of the TNG cast that look like they belong in a high school yearbook. I’m surprised Worf’s background isn’t a bunch of neon lasers. It’s not the most exciting series of images. And they charged $100 for it. That’s just adding insult to injury.”

96. Beam to the shower with this transporter shower curtain and bath rug.

However, if you're wearing a red shirt at the time, there's a chance you aren't coming back. Unless you're Scotty since he's a main cast member.

However, if you’re wearing a red shirt at the time, there’s a chance you aren’t coming back. Unless you’re Scotty since he’s a main cast member.

97. Step right out in style with a pair of your own Star Trek sneakers.

I'm sure many of these would be seen as collectibles to display instead of used for their intended purpose. Then again, I could be wrong.

I’m sure many of these would be seen as collectibles to display instead of used for their intended purpose. Then again, I could be wrong.

98. Come all aboard on your very own Star Trek Astro train.

Seems like some companies will try to pass almost anything as a Star Trek promotion during the 1970s. Because this train doesn't seem to have anything to do with Star Trek.

Seems like some companies will try to pass almost anything as a Star Trek promotion during the 1970s. Because this train doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Star Trek.

99. Those who like Spock might enjoy wearing socks like these.

However, you'd have to be out of your Vulcan mind to wear them in public. Still, I find these highly illogical to tell you the truth.

However, you’d have to be out of your Vulcan mind to wear them in public. Still, I find these highly illogical to tell you the truth.

100. You will always know what time it is with this Star Trek cuckoo clock.

I think whoever came up with this being a good idea is cuckoo. Seriously, why this exists, I can offer no logical explanation.

I think whoever came up with this being a good idea is cuckoo. Seriously, why this exists, I can offer no logical explanation.

Star Trek Costumes Boldly Going Where No Man Has Gone Before

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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This is a rather  eventful year for Star Trek since it has two big things going for it. This July marks the release of the new movie Star Trek: Beyond. However, whether Old Spock will make an appearance in the film is a mystery since we recently lost Leonard Nimoy who was mourned by Trekkies everywhere. Nevertheless, as we know, this franchise has produced 6 TV shows and several movies. And it continues to appeal to generations. This September will mark Star Trek’s 50th anniversary.

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Conceived by the late Gene Roddenberry and first aired in 1966, Star Trek has been a franchise focused on space, the final frontier with missions to explore new worlds, to seek out life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where no man has gone before. While the original series only ran on NBC for 3 seasons, it managed to attract an enduring and vocal fanbase that its cultural impact can’t be denied and it’s become a cult phenomenon for decades, especially since it had several movies in the 1970s and 1980s as well as notable spin-off series that were more successful like Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Enterprise. In recent years, they’ve even made a reboot of some of the original movies but in a different style so they wouldn’t be sued by the Roddenberry family (well, that’s my theory). Not to mention, it’s also notable for Trekkies and Star Trek conventions.

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Since Star Trek is well known for Trekkies to dress up as their favorite characters at these conventions. Of course, you might come across people dressed as Kirk and Spock as well as some Klingons. But you might find some other characters there as well. And as you see, you’ll find many aliens in outlandish costumes from the original series and beyond. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Star Trek costumes from the final frontier boldly going where no man has gone before.

 

  1. Here we have a lovely Andorian woman from Starfleet.
The Andorians are noted for their blue skin, white hair, and antennae. They also tend to call humans "pink skin."

The Andorians are noted for their blue skin, white hair, and antennae. They also tend to call humans “pink skin.”

2. This little guy is a proud member of Starfleet and the Enterprise.

Well, at least that outfit's from The Next Generation. Because if it was a redshirt from the original series, I'd have a problem. Still, so cute.

Well, at least that outfit’s from The Next Generation. Because if it was a redshirt from the original series, I’d have a problem. Still, so cute.

3. Guess these Starfleet officers are from an alternative timeline.

These are Starfleet Steampunk uniforms. And yes, they look kind of cool if you ask me.

These are Starfleet Steampunk uniforms. And yes, they look kind of cool if you ask me.

4. From TNG, may I introduce to you to the lovable android and Operations Officer Data.

Sure Data might be an android who admires humanity. But he's such a loveable guy that you can't help but like him. This one's not bad looking, too.

Sure Data might be an android who admires humanity. But he’s such a lovable guy that you can’t help but like him. This one’s not bad looking, too.

5. Hop aboard the Starfleet Express.

Once again, I give you more Star Trek Steampunk. The guy resembles a train conductor. Like the woman's dress, too.

Once again, I give you more Star Trek Steampunk. The guy resembles a train conductor. Like the woman’s dress, too.

6. Those who remember “Amok Time” might also recall T’Pring.

T'Pring was Spock's fiancee since childhood who dumped him for another Vulcan man. But not before she had Spock fight with Kirk. This, when Spock was going through his pon farr, which isn't pretty.

T’Pring was Spock’s fiancee since childhood who dumped him for another Vulcan man. But not before she had Spock fight with Kirk. This, when Spock was going through his pon farr, which isn’t pretty.

7. Where would Deep Space Nine be without its chief science officer Jadzia Dax?

While she seems like a young woman, she's in symbiosis with a wise, long-lived creature called a Dax. Even before she became a host, she was pretty smart.

While she seems like a young woman, she’s in symbiosis with a wise, long-lived creature called a Dax. Even before she became a host, she was pretty smart.

8. Oh, shit, seems like Kim Cardassian has to be everywhere these days.

I'm not sure if I'd want Kanye West to be with this woman. I hear the Cardassians are known for their brutality. But I think this is hilarious.

I’m not sure if I’d want Kanye West to be with this woman. I hear the Cardassians are known for their brutality. But I think this is hilarious.

9. Against a Borg cube resistance is futile.

The Borg Cube is a spacecraft that's home to the hive like Borg Collective. If your ship comes across one of these, avoid it at all times.

The Borg Cube is a spacecraft that’s home to the hive like Borg Collective. If your ship comes across one of these, avoid it at all times.

10. We should remember that even Klingons were young once.

Sure this baby may look adorable now. But once they grow up, they can be quite ruthless. But they do exhibit a code of honor.

Sure this baby may look adorable now. But once they grow up, they can be quite ruthless. But they do exhibit a code of honor.

11. During the Next Generation, no one can run a better Enterprise than Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Along with Kirk, Picard is seen as one of the more iconic Star Trek captains. He may be a consummate Earl Grey drinking gentlemen and diplomat, but he's not a guy you'd want to mess with.

Along with Kirk, Picard is seen as one of the more iconic Star Trek captains. He may be a consummate Earl Grey drinking gentlemen and diplomat, but he’s not a guy you’d want to mess with.

12. As TNG’s chief engineer on the Enterprise, you just have to give a hand to Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge.

Notably played by LeVar Burton, LaForge has his own visor due to being born blind. Is an engineering whiz, nice guy, and Data's best friend.

Notably played by LeVar Burton, LaForge has his own visor due to being born blind. Is an engineering whiz, nice guy, and Data’s best friend.

13. I bet these two are just like Romeo and Juliet.

Meaning that these two fell in love despite that their planet is engulfed in a stupid civil war. From "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield."

Meaning that these two fell in love despite that their planet is engulfed in a stupid civil war. From “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.”

14. When it comes to glitz, Ferengi know how to dress.

I think this might be from a Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. It's a place I think Ferengi will feel right at home since they love money.

I think this might be from a Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. It’s a place I think Ferengi will feel right at home since they love money.

15. We should remember that while Romulans may look like Vulcans, they are not.

While Vulcans are seen as logical, Romulans are cunning, passionate, and opportunistic. They're also really hated by Klingons.

While Vulcans are seen as logical, Romulans are cunning, passionate, and opportunistic. They’re also really hated by Klingons.

16. While Klingons are known to be a proud warrior race, there’s always an occasional non-conformist among them.

On your left, you have a rather normal looking Klingon. On your right, you have a Klingon dressed like Elton John in the 1970s.

On your left, you have a rather normal looking Klingon. On your right, you have a Klingon dressed like Elton John in the 1970s.

17. In a parallel universe, Spock is known to sport a trademark goatee.

Yes, that's Evil Spock all right. He's very scary and also not to be messed with. Not sure who the woman's supposed to be.

Yes, that’s Evil Spock all right. He’s very scary and also not to be messed with. Not sure who the woman’s supposed to be.

18. Of course, even Bones McCoy is bound to get some action in “Shore Leave.”

Yes, I know that's Dr. McCoy with two women who are dressed like they're from a Dr. Seuss porn parody. But yes, this was in the original series. Don't ask me how wardrobe came up with those outfits.

Yes, I know that’s Dr. McCoy with two women who are dressed like they’re from a Dr. Seuss porn parody. But yes, this was in the original series. Don’t ask me how wardrobe came up with those outfits.

19. On Vulcan, Spock’s family matriarch is T’Pau.

She was to officiate on what should've been Spock's wedding. But his fiancee had other ideas.

She was to officiate on what should’ve been Spock’s wedding. But his fiancee had other ideas.

20. From “The Way to Eden” is Irina Galliulin a Starfleet dropout and onetime girlfriend of Ensign Chekov.

And as space hippie, her costume was possibly made from curtains. Still, "Eden" in this episode is basically uninhabitable.

And as space hippie, her costume was possibly made from curtains. Still, “Eden” in this episode is basically uninhabitable.

21. This green girl apparently has a gig as a Las Vegas showgirl.

Okay, that's really clever. I know Kirk might want a piece of her. Like the feathers though.

Okay, that’s really clever. I know Kirk might want a piece of her. Like the feathers though.

22. On the Enterprise, you might find space suits like these from the original series.

Interestingly enough, I'm sure this guy's suit was made by the same materials as the original ones were. Seems like an almost perfect replica, too. Screen windows, especially.

Interestingly enough, I’m sure this guy’s suit was made by the same materials as the original ones were. Seems like an almost perfect replica, too. Screen windows, especially.

23. This orange space suit is said to have a certain hazmat variant.

Well, it's not exactly like the original but close. Still has the haz mat design in mind.

Well, it’s not exactly like the original but close. Still has the hazmat design in mind.

24. Aboard the first Enterprise as resident Vulcan and science officer was none other than T’Pol.

And this is her in her trademark outfit. Still has sexual tension with Archer and Tucker.

And this is her in her trademark outfit. Still has sexual tension with Archer and Tucker.

25. Staffing on Deep Space Nine as Chief of Security and First Officer are Odo and Major Kira.

As a shapeshifter, Odo is well suited for the job but doesn't know where he comes from. Major Kira is a Bajoran who wants independence for her people.

As a shapeshifter, Odo is well suited for the job but doesn’t know where he comes from. Major Kira is a Bajoran who wants independence for her people.

26. As far as sexy get ups go, Losira’s is interesting.

I know it looks like a mix of harem attire and TRON. But I have no idea what Star Trek's costume designer was on during the 1960s.

I know it looks like a mix of harem attire and TRON. But I have no idea what Star Trek’s costume designer was on during the 1960s.

27. Those who’ve watched the original series might remember Harry Mudd and his women.

Well, here he is with one of his women. Still, the guy is a con man you shouldn't trust with anything, especially if it pertains to money. Also, his beautiful women, they're on drugs to appear super beautiful.

Well, here he is with one of his women. Still, the guy is a con man you shouldn’t trust with anything, especially if it pertains to money. Also, his beautiful women, they’re on drugs to appear super beautiful.

28. Member of Starfleet or 19th century Trekkie?

And yet, another Steampunk Starfleet uniform. Still, like the sword. Couldn't resist this one.

And yet, another Steampunk Starfleet uniform. Still, like the sword. Couldn’t resist this one.

29. I bring you the command of the Enterprise you all know and love.

I guess these consist of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, and Scotty. And it seems Uhura is holding a tribble.

I guess these consist of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, and Scotty. And it seems Uhura is holding a tribble.

30. Looks like Captain Kirk likes to have a bunny or two on bridge.

We all know that Kirk has a well established reputation as a perv. This is why casting him as Hugh Hefner with Starfleet Playboy bunnies is so funny. And one is even green.

We all know that Kirk has a well established reputation as a perv. This is why casting him as Hugh Hefner with Starfleet Playboy bunnies is so funny. And one is even green.

31. Even Princess Leia can’t help herself to the occasional tribble.

Yes, this is a Star Wars and Star Trek mashup. And yes, Chewie's depicted as a tribble. But it's clever.

Yes, this is a Star Wars and Star Trek mashup. And yes, Chewie’s depicted as a tribble. But it’s clever.

32. Occasionally, you might have a chance to see T’Pol in pink.

Yes, she wore an outfit like that, too. But not as often. But that expression is rather typical of her character, especially when Commander Tucker got himself in a little escapade.

Yes, she wore an outfit like that, too. But not as often. But that expression is rather typical of her character, especially when Commander Tucker got himself into a little escapade.

33. Second to Picard on the Enterprise is Commander Riker.

Seems to resemble the guy from the show. However, he's not nearly as likable as Picard at any rate.

Seems to resemble the guy from the show. However, he’s not nearly as likable as Picard at any rate.

34. I’m afraid this Starfleet crew member has already been assimilated.

The Borg are a nasty bunch in Star Trek since they turn people into mindless cyborgs. They make Cardassians, Klingons, and Romulans seem friendly.

The Borg are a nasty bunch in Star Trek since they turn people into mindless cyborgs. They make Cardassians, Klingons, and Romulans seem friendly.

35. These Andorian women are just hanging out.

I guess those are what the Andorians normally wear. Seems to go well with their complexions.

I guess those are what the Andorians normally wear. Seems to go well with their complexions.

36. Guess Klingon Gandalf decided to make an appearance.

So let me get this straight. He's a Klingon. Yet, he's also a wizard. Let's just say you shall not pass by him on any day.

So let me get this straight. He’s a Klingon. Yet, he’s also a wizard. Let’s just say you shall not pass by him on any day.

37. Fresh from Starfleet Academy, here are some new Guardians of the Galaxy.

And I see that Groot has a red shirt on. Let's hope it doesn't mean anything bad. Then again, he does regenerate somehow.

And I see that Groot has a red shirt on. Let’s hope it doesn’t mean anything bad. Then again, he does regenerate somehow.

38. Here we have Captain Jean-Luc Picard meeting up with Commander Benjamin Sisko.

Of course, while under Borg assimilation, Picard killed Sisko's wife Jennifer. Because of this Sisko doesn't really like him much.

Of course, while under Borg assimilation, Picard killed Sisko’s wife Jennifer. Because of this Sisko doesn’t really like him much.

39. With Spock, it’s always “Live long and prosper.”

Yes, that's Spock all right. He's one of the most popular characters in the franchise. Leonard Nimoy will sure be missed.

Yes, that’s Spock all right. He’s one of the most popular characters in the franchise. Leonard Nimoy will sure be missed.

40. Here we have Data sharing a moment with his beloved cat.

His cat's name is Spot and is in TNG for the last 4 seasons. It's also a female and has kittens.

His cat’s name is Spot and is in TNG for the last 4 seasons. It’s also a female and has kittens.

41. On board the Enterprise TNG, we have Counselor Deanna Troi.

She's half-Betazoid with empathetic abilities as well as detect lies and helps give Picard the edge in negotiations (by usually stating the obvious). Usually functions on the show as the damsel in distress and therapist.

She’s half-Betazoid with empathetic abilities as well as detect lies and helps give Picard the edge in negotiations (by usually stating the obvious). Usually functions on the show as the damsel in distress and therapist.

42. Of course, Troi also wears a blue dress as well.

Well, that blue dress is lovely. However, as far as the TNG cast is concerned, she's not among the most liked.

Well, that blue dress is lovely. However, as far as the TNG cast is concerned, she’s not among the most liked.

43. Joining the Voyager crew is the Doctor and Seven of Nine.

He is a mere hologram physician. And she is a highly attractive woman who's recovering from Borg assimilation. These two are probably the best liked characters of the Voyager series.

He is a mere hologram physician. And she is a highly attractive woman who’s recovering from Borg assimilation. These two are probably the best liked characters of the Voyager series.

44. And here Kim Cardassian looks stunning in her Vogue formal gown.

This is brilliant and hilarious. Love how Kim K's depicted as a reptilian alien who tend to be enemies of the Federation.

This is brilliant and hilarious. Love how Kim K’s depicted as a reptilian alien who tend to be enemies of the Federation.

45. In the new movies, you tend to see Spock paired with Uhura.

As far as putting Uhura with Spock, this Trekkie is not a fan. I mean such romance doesn't really make sense to me. What the hell were the screenwriters thinking?

As far as putting Uhura with Spock, this Trekkie is not a fan. I mean such romance doesn’t really make sense to me. What the hell were the screenwriters thinking?

46. Here Captain Kirk tells a female redshirt to set her phaser to “stunning.”

Female Redshirts: To some they are eye candy. To some they are candy. Still have a higher survivor rate than their male counterparts.

Female Redshirts: To some they are eye candy. To some they are candy. Still have a higher survivor rate than their male counterparts.

47. Deep Space Nine serves as the exploration base of the Gamma Quadrant.

Well, I guess Deep Space Nine makes an easier costume than the Enterprise. Love the light effects though.

Well, I guess Deep Space Nine makes an easier costume than the Enterprise. Love the light effects though.

48. Guess these two people are from Scotty’s family.

After all, they're both wearing kilts. Then again, you never saw Scotty wearing one but that's probably for the best.

After all, they’re both wearing kilts. Then again, you never saw Scotty wearing one but that’s probably for the best.

49. Here we have Captain Picard on bridge fighting the Teddy Borg.

I have to admit, this adorable. However, this little squirt will probably end up getting assimilated though.

I have to admit, this adorable. However, this little squirt will probably end up getting assimilated though.

50. Tending the bar on Enterprise is Guinan.

She's played by Whoopi Goldberg in TNG. Still, she's said to be the person whom Q most fears. Also, she's of much better use than Troi.

She’s played by Whoopi Goldberg in TNG. Still, she’s said to be the person whom Q most fears. Also, she’s of much better use than Troi.

51. Seems like Captain Kirk can’t get enough of those green girls.

Well, given Kirk's reputation, this should be expected. His green girl fetish is a running gag in the new Star Trek movies, which I think is appropriate.

Well, given Kirk’s reputation, this should be expected. His green girl fetish is a running gag in the new Star Trek movies, which I think is appropriate.

52. Guess Lieutenant Uhura has a call from bridge to answer at this time.

Well, she's a communications officer so what do you expect. Still, she does get to land on a few planets, however.

Well, she’s a communications officer so what do you expect. Still, she does get to land on a few planets, however.

53. Didn’t know Deep Space Nine had its own baseball team.

At first I didn't know what to think of this until I realized the "Niniers" reference was to Deep Space Nine. Also, giving Sisko's love of baseball, this is appropriate.

At first I didn’t know what to think of this until I realized the “Niniers” reference was to Deep Space Nine. Also, giving Sisko’s love of baseball, this is appropriate.

54. On Star Trek: Voyager, Seven of Nine is easily the most remembered.

Then again, she's probably the main reason why most people remember the show at all. Not to mention, she tends to be very popular among teenage boys as well as 18-35 year olds.

Then again, she’s probably the main reason why most people remember the show at all. Not to mention, she tends to be very popular among teenage boys as well as 18-35 year olds.

55. Of course, sometimes Kirk’s presence can be made known for months at at time.

Yep, Kirk was here all right. And it seems like he wasn't using protection at the time. Kirk probably has kids all over the galaxy.

Yep, Kirk was here all right. And it seems like he wasn’t using protection at the time. Kirk probably has kids all over the galaxy.

56. That man is undead, Jim.

He says so himself. Most likely died when Kirk and some officers visited a planet. Not sure how he became a zombie.

He says so himself. Most likely died when Kirk and some officers visited a planet. Not sure how he became a zombie.

57. As Bones, Dr. McCoy is the Enterprise’s Chief Medical Officer.

He also knows when a man is dead, Jim. Also, don't make him do stuff beyond his job because he's a doctor not a________.

He also knows when a man is dead, Jim. Also, don’t make him do stuff beyond his job because he’s a doctor not a________.

58. Looks like Captain Kirk is having some trouble with tribbles.

By the way, "Trouble with Tribbles" one of the best Star Trek episodes ever. It's also hilarious. Remember tribbles make terrible pets.

By the way, “Trouble with Tribbles” one of the best Star Trek episodes ever. It’s also hilarious. Remember tribbles make terrible pets.

59. These Klingons decided to show up in their casual wear.

However, the man's clothing does have the Klingon logo on them. Still, for Klingons, these two seem so friendly.

However, the man’s clothing does have the Klingon logo on them. Still, for Klingons, these two seem so friendly.

60. Guess these Klingons have a sensitive side after all.

Nevertheless, they're dressed up as Imperial Stormtroopers in tutus and tiaras. Hilarious.

Nevertheless, they’re dressed up as Imperial Stormtroopers in tutus and tiaras. Hilarious.

61. This Seven of Nine looks absolutely stunning.

Not bad looking for someone who's been assimilated by the Borg and survived. Then again, she was probably Voyager's resident fanservice personnel.

Not bad looking for someone who’s been assimilated by the Borg and survived. Then again, she was probably Voyager’s resident fanservice personnel.

62. This little Spock seems like a logical tyke.

Now this is so adorable. Love the little pointy ears. Still, remember that he's half-human though.

Now this is so adorable. Love the little pointy ears. Still, remember that he’s half-human though.

63. Oh, look, here comes the Redshirt brigade.

Whenever one of these beams down to the planet, chances are they're never coming back. Well, at least for the men. Not sure about the women.

Whenever one of these beams down to the planet, chances are they’re never coming back. Well, at least for the men. Not sure about the women.

64. As far as Star Trek villains go, none is more menacing than the dreaded Khan.

Had to include this since Wrath of Khan is one of the best known Star Trek movies ever. Was famously played by Ricardo Montalban.

Had to include this since Wrath of Khan is one of the best known Star Trek movies ever. Was famously played by Ricardo Montalban.

65. Guess Gorn decided to dress for the occasion this time.

Unfortunately, for us, you won't be seeing him fighting Kirk any time soon. Still, Kirk's fight with Gorn is pretty funny.

Unfortunately, for us, you won’t be seeing him fighting Kirk any time soon. Still, Kirk’s fight with Gorn is pretty funny.

66. You might not know her, but at one time Yeoman Janice Rand was seen as Kirk’s main squeeze.

Here she is with a tribble and a basket weave (on her head). And yes, her hair was like that in the original series, too.

Here she is with a tribble and a basket weave (on her head). And yes, her hair was like that in the original series, too.

67. As chief engineer of the Enterprise, there was never a problem Montgomery Scott couldn’t fix.

However, the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty," was never uttered on the show. Still, he's one of the few redshirts on the series to survive planet landings and live to tell the tale.

However, the phrase “Beam me up, Scotty,” was never uttered on the show. Still, he’s one of the few redshirts on the series to survive planet landings and live to tell the tale.

68. On TNG, Q is an entity of mystery and a formidable foe.

Q is part of a race of godlike aliens who live outside a plane of existence. However, though he plays pranks, he's not a malicious character. In later shows, he's more of a teacher.

Q is part of a race of godlike aliens who live outside a plane of existence. However, though he plays pranks, he’s not a malicious character. In later shows, he’s more of a teacher.

69. So I guess this redshirt isn’t really dead after all.

He's just been seriously injured by aliens and has been treated in sick bay. So it's no fuss.

He’s just been seriously injured by aliens and has been treated in sick bay. So it’s no fuss.

70. Seems like Worf really tries to set a good example to children.

Actually I think this is a dad with his kids. But Worf is a very popular character in Star Trek since he's a Klingon and a badass.

Actually I think this is a dad with his kids. But Worf is a very popular character in Star Trek since he’s a Klingon and a badass.

71. Sure Klingons kill but they won’t eat you.

Seems like this Klingon has a sense of humor. Nevertheless, Klingon warriors can be quite aggressive and ruthless.

Seems like this Klingon has a sense of humor. Nevertheless, Klingon warriors can be quite aggressive and ruthless.

72. Speaking of Klingons, here’s a Klingon Hello Kitty.

I know it's kind of a weird mashup since Hello Kitty doesn't seem to live to Klingon warrior preferences. Still, this is funny.

I know it’s kind of a weird mashup since Hello Kitty doesn’t seem to live to Klingon warrior preferences. Still, this is funny.

73. Where would a Klingon warrior ever be without his signature weapon?

Not sure what this weapon is called. But it sure looks quite badass. Now I see why Klingons are popular among Star Trek fans.

Not sure what this weapon is called. But it sure looks quite badass. Now I see why Klingons are popular among Star Trek fans.

74. For fans of the original series, who could forget Kirk’s fight with Gorn?

Now the Gorn and Kirk episode might've been poignant for the time. But now it hasn't aged very well.

Now the Gorn and Kirk episode might’ve been poignant for the time. But it hasn’t aged very well within the last decades.

75. Guess Evil Spock is sharing a dance with Evil Uhura.

Okay, I might see this pairing. Still, while I'm fine with Uhura and Spock, I am not okay with them getting together in the reboot movies. Because I just don't see them getting together.

Okay, I might see this pairing. Still, while I’m fine with Uhura and Spock, I am not okay with them getting together in the reboot movies. Because I just don’t see them getting together.

76. You know that dog with the horn from the original series? Well, there’s a costume for that.

Man, that looks so freakish it's unreal. Still, that original series didn't seem to have much of a budget on visual effects.

Man, that looks so freakish it’s unreal. Still, that original series didn’t seem to have much of a budget on visual effects as far as I’m concerned.

77. Borg assimilation: fun for the whole family.

Yes, this is a Borg family. Even the baby's teddy wasn't immune. Resistance is futile.

Yes, this is a Borg family. Even the baby’s teddy wasn’t immune. Resistance is futile.

78. Apparently, Klingons know how to dress for a wedding.

However, would you want to attend a Klingon wedding on Star Trek? No. Seriously, I don't want to know what a Klingon wedding is like.

However, would you want to attend a Klingon wedding on Star Trek? No. Seriously, I don’t want to know what a Klingon wedding is like.

79. Now won’t you take a look at this San Francisco Worf.

Still, I don't think I'd call Worf a hippie beyond any stretch. But I think this is quite funny.

Still, I don’t think I’d call Worf a hippie beyond any stretch. But I think this is quite funny.

80. When these Redshirts are hit, they just keep going.

However, on the original series, redshirts don't survive wounds like these on the planets. In fact, they usually don't come back.

However, on the original series, redshirts don’t survive wounds like these on the planets. In fact, they usually don’t come back.

81. I’m afraid she’s dead, Jim.

Here we see a redshirt doing what redshirts do best: dying on the planet. That's what they mostly do.

Here we see a redshirt doing what redshirts do best: dying on the planet. That’s what they mostly do.

82. For little ones, these little Starfleet costumes would do nicely.

Let's see, there's Kirk, Spock, and I hope the kid in red is Scotty. If not, then I think he's doomed.

Let’s see, there’s Kirk, Spock, and I hope the kid in red is Scotty. If not, then I think he’s doomed. Still, these are so cute.

83. Of course, as we all know about Ferengi women, clothes are seen as obscene.

Nevertheless, on Earth, their naughty bits had to be censored. Still, this is funny.

Nevertheless, on Earth, their naughty bits had to be censored. Still, this is funny.

84. Seems like we have a new bombshell on deck.

And I'm sure Kirk is going to have his way with the new science officer by the end of this episode. Still, that's a pretty good costume.

And I’m sure Kirk is going to have his way with the new science officer by the end of this episode. Still, that’s a pretty good costume.

85. Here I introduce to you Data with the Borg Queen.

Heard they got together in the movies, don't ask. Still, the Borg Queen is a very insidious villain in the franchise.

Heard they got together in the movies, don’t ask. Still, the Borg Queen is a very insidious villain in the franchise.

86. Heard of Sherlock Holmes and Watson? How about Data and LaForge?

I think they did have a Sherlock Holmes episode. However, I'm sure they're sleuthing skills are very astute at least in the engineering room.

I think they did have a Sherlock Holmes episode. However, I’m sure they’re sleuthing skills are very astute at least in the engineering room.

87. Kirk and Spock are such best buds that you can see them on a bicycle built for two.

And apparently, it's fire powered. Still, you have to love this or at least think it's clever.

And apparently, it’s fire powered. Still, you have to love this or at least think it’s clever.

88. Let me guess, that’s Chakotay from Voyager.

Because the guy is best known for being No. 2 Janeway, having a tattoo on his face, and ending up with Seven of Nine. That's all you need to know about him.

Because the guy is best known for being No. 2 Janeway, having a tattoo on his face to show his Native American heritage, and ending up with Seven of Nine. That’s all you need to know about him.

89. Looks like the sun god Apollo decided to pay a visit.

He may be a Greek god but he was featured in a Star Trek episode. Also kind of a jerk by the way, not unlike his mythological counterpart.

He may be a Greek god but he was featured in a Star Trek episode. Also kind of a jerk by the way, not unlike his mythological counterpart.

90. Looks like tribbles seem to get along with Romulans quite nicely.

However, according to "Trouble with Tribbles," tribbles don't like Klingons at all. This is why the tribbles were sent aboard a Klingon ship in the end.

However, according to “Trouble with Tribbles,” tribbles don’t like Klingons at all. This is why the tribbles were sent aboard a Klingon ship in the end.

91. This Spock tyke knows his Vulcan signs.

Being half-human, you'd have to expect Spock being bullied while he was a child. Still, this is adorable.

Being half-human, you’d have to expect Spock being bullied while he was a child. Still, this is adorable.

92. In original series, some alien costumes tend to be rather outlandish.

I don't know what this alien is supposed to be but she's kind of a cross between a supermodel and an Ooomah Loompah. She also appears scantily clad in tin foil.

I don’t know what this alien is supposed to be but she’s kind of a cross between a supermodel and an Ooomah Loompah. She also appears scantily clad in tin foil.

93. Whenever there’s a problem, this cat LaForge could always fix it.

Yes, it's a cat dressed as La Forge as you can see. I'm sure some people might find this incredibly cute.

Yes, it’s a cat dressed as La Forge as you can see. I’m sure some people might find this incredibly cute.

94. In a parallel universe, you have Captain Kirk with his Marlena.

In the normal Star Trek universe, Marlena only lasted an episode. But so do most of Kirk's girlfriends.

In the normal Star Trek universe, Marlena only lasted an episode. But so do most of Kirk’s girlfriends.

95. While Klingon men are fearsome warriors, you can’t underestimate Klingon women either.

Because they can be very aggressive and are also expected to be warriors. So don't try to mess with them.

Because they can be very aggressive and are also expected to be warriors. So don’t try to mess with them.

96. On TNG, where would Riker be without Counselor Troi?

I don't have the slightest idea. However, TNG would've probably been a better show without either of them.

I don’t have the slightest idea. However, TNG would’ve probably been a better show without either of them.

97. Seems like this Vulcan girl of Starfleet has a lovely dress and jacket to match.

Sure she's supposed to be a female Spock. But I think this is a lovely dress. I kind of wish the women on the original series would wear something more like it.

Sure she’s supposed to be a female Spock. But I think this is a lovely dress. I kind of wish the women on the original series would wear something more like it.

98. Seems like joining Starfleet is a tradition for this family.

Then again, in later Star Trek shows, people do have their families on board with them. Still, this is adorable.

Then again, in later Star Trek shows, people do have their families on board with them. Still, this is adorable.

99. Guess this Starfleet officer will suffer a fate worse than death.

He's probably going to be assimilated some time soon. And I'm sure any resistance he tries to put up will be futile.

He’s probably going to be assimilated some time soon. And I’m sure any resistance he tries to put up will be futile.

100. Guess these green women are part of the Starfleet entertainment company.

Still, if they were in the original series, I'm sure Kirk will try to hook up with one of them. Nevertheless, I think their costumes are quite creative.

Still, if they were in the original series, I’m sure Kirk will try to hook up with one of them. Nevertheless, I think their costumes are quite creative.

Great Figures in Shakespeare: Part 10 – Lady Kate Percy to John of Lancaster

Posted by historymaniacmegan on
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For some reason, the 3 witches have been paying excessive attention to Macbeth since he became Thane of Cawdor. Do they just predict the future or are they intent on causing trouble? No one knows.

So now we’re down to the last post. You might notice that there’s not a lot of women in Shakespeare’s plays. Well, there’s a reason for that. In the Bard’s day, all actors were men and most women’s roles were played by preteen or teenage boys or young men. Since many of Shakespeare’s heroines dressed in drag, these would’ve been men dressed up as women dressed as men. I know it’s confusing. Still, such theatrics existed because women weren’t allowed to perform on stage during Shakespeare’s lifetime. So this would mean that the original Juliet was played by a dude, which most people nowadays would consider unthinkable for obvious reasons. Nevertheless, women wouldn’t appear on stage in England until the later 1600s since King Charles II enjoyed watching actresses on stage. However, until the 1800s, actors were typically looked down upon as many actresses often courtesans and associated with promiscuity. In our final selection, I give you the last set of Shakespearean players consisting of Lady Percy, Sextus Pompey and Lepidus from Antony and Cleopatra, John of Lancaster, the Earl of Warwick, Eleanor of Gloucester, Florizel and Perdita from The Winter’s Tale, Virgilia and Tullus Aufidius from Coriolanus, Owen Glendower, Lucentio from Taming of the Shrew, the Witches from Macbeth, Paroles from All’s Well That Ends Well, and the Ghost from Hamlet.

 

136. Lady Kate Percy

"O my good lord, why are you thus alone?/For what offence have I this fortnight been/A banished woman from my Harry's bed?/Tell me, sweet lord, what is 't that takes from thee/Thy stomach, pleasure, and thy golden sleep?/Why dost thou bend thine eyes upon the earth,/And start so often when thou sit'st alone?/Why hast thou lost the fresh blood in thy cheeks/And given my treasures and my rights of thee/To thick-eyed musing and cursed melancholy?" - Act II, Scene 3. Wonder what's keeping Hotspur from sleeping with his wife. Then again, that's Lady Mary so it kind of explains a lot.

“O my good lord, why are you thus alone?/For what offence have I this fortnight been/A banished woman from my Harry’s bed?/Tell me, sweet lord, what is ‘t that takes from thee/Thy stomach, pleasure, and thy golden sleep?/Why dost thou bend thine eyes upon the earth,/And start so often when thou sit’st alone?/Why hast thou lost the fresh blood in thy cheeks/And given my treasures and my rights of thee/To thick-eyed musing and cursed melancholy?” – Act II, Scene 3 in Henry IV Part 1. Wonder what’s keeping Hotspur from sleeping with his wife. Then again, that’s Lady Mary so it kind of explains a lot.

From: Henry IV Parts 1 and 2

Pro: Well, she’s practically a saint as well as witty, patient, and playful with her beloved husband. Calls out her father-in-law for sending her husband to war before calling in sick.

Con: However, she tends to be horny and neglected since her husband prefers the battlefield to their bedroom. Always complains about his disinterest in sex and on more than one occasion, playfully threatens to “break” his dick (which is the medieval equivalent of going Lorena Bobbit on him). It doesn’t work and he gets killed.

Fate: Ends up a widow as of Henry IV Part 2.

 

137. Sextus Pompey the Younger

"My powers are crescent, and my auguring hope/Says it will come to th' full. Mark Antony/In Egypt sits at dinner, and will make/No wars without doors. Caesar gets money where/He loses hearts. Lepidus flatters both,/Of both is flattered; but he neither loves,/Nor either cares for him." - Act II, Scene 1. Well, Pompey seems to have insight to the political situation. Too bad he's too honorable for his own good.

“My powers are crescent, and my auguring hope/Says it will come to th’ full. Mark Antony/In Egypt sits at dinner, and will make/No wars without doors. Caesar gets money where/He loses hearts. Lepidus flatters both,/Of both is flattered; but he neither loves,/Nor either cares for him.” – Act II, Scene 1. Well, Pompey seems to have insight to the political situation. Too bad he’s too honorable for his own good.

From: Antony and Cleopatra

Pro: Despite being a pain in the ass for the Romans, he’s actually an okay guy. Is guided by reason and honor instead of passion. Plays by the rules. Well loved by the people. Faces his fate nobly. Is willing to negotiate against his enemies before he goes to war with them. Would rather compromise than have blood shed, not out of cowardice but common sense. Also, invites his enemies to party on his boat and refuses have any of them killed. Because when he makes a truce, he means it.

Con: Gets confused for his more famous dad in the history books. Rebels against Rome in order to avenge his dad’s death at the hands of Julius Caesar and against the new triumvirate. Also, he would’ve fared better if he listened to Menas and have the drunken triumvirs killed since these are guys would probably shoot him in a back alley (well, except Antony).

Fate: Ends up executed on Octavius Caesar’s orders.

 

138. Lucentio

"Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love/Made me exchange my state with Tranio,/While he did bear my countenance in the town." - Act V, Scene 1. However, he has no idea on what Bianca's really like. He just loved what he saw of her.

“Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love/Made me exchange my state with Tranio,/While he did bear my countenance in the town.” – Act V, Scene 1. However, he has no idea on what Bianca’s really like. He just loved what he saw of her.

From: Taming of the Shrew

Pro: Devises an intricate and fanciful fan to get into Bianca’s pants by disguising himself as her tutor. Convinces her to defy her dad. Seems to be a better guy than Petruchio at first, especially in how he treats Bianca since his desire to marry is based on romantic love.

Con: He’s an idiot who has no idea what he’s doing. Quickly abandons his education to fall in love and later elope with Bianca. However, he tends to fall for what he initially sees like her exterior façade, not her as a person.

Fate: Marries Bianca but loses the bet to Petruchio. Guess he didn’t know what he was getting into. Loses some money and street cred.

 

139. Lepidus

"Noble friends,/That which combined us was most great, and let not/A leaner action rend us. What's amiss,/May it be gently heard. When we debate/Our trivial difference loud, we do commit/Murder in healing wounds. Then, noble partners,/The rather for I earnestly beseech,/Touch you the sourest points with sweetest terms,/Nor curstness grow to th' matter." - Act II, Scene 2. Sure he may be right. But remember, this "let's rule Rome together thing," isn't really working out too well.

“Noble friends,/That which combined us was most great, and let not/A leaner action rend us. What’s amiss,/May it be gently heard. When we debate/Our trivial difference loud, we do commit/Murder in healing wounds. Then, noble partners,/The rather for I earnestly beseech,/Touch you the sourest points with sweetest terms,/Nor curstness grow to th’ matter.” – Act II, Scene 2. Sure he may be right. But remember, this “let’s rule Rome together thing,” isn’t really working out too well.

From: Julius Caesar and Antony and Cleopatra

Pro: Generally a good guy with a conciliatory nature and tries to make everyone friends.

Con: Weakest of the second triumvirate. Is blind to everyone’s passion and treachery. Doesn’t do much. Is seen as a laughingstock even to his friends and inferiors, especially when he gets drunk. Is more interested in Egyptian animals than Antony and Octavius getting on each other’s nerves. So naïve that he’s torn between men he thinks are his friends but ends up losing his position and freedom. Is basically a lamb in a pack of a political wolves. Not to mention, he believes that people have the common good in mind while they’re actually thinking of their own personal good.

Fate: Ends up caged and executed by Octavius Caesar.

 

140. Paroles

"There's little can be said in 't. 'Tis against the rule of nature. To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers, which is most infallible disobedience." - Act I, Scene 1. Guess this guy hasn't heard about "double standards" does he? Still, he doesn't get much action because he's a complete jerk.

“There’s little can be said in ‘t. ‘Tis against the rule of nature. To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers, which is most infallible disobedience.” – Act I, Scene 1. Guess this guy hasn’t heard about “double standards” does he? Still, he doesn’t get much action because he’s a complete jerk.

From: All’s Well That Ends Well

Pro: Well, he’s charismatic and funny to watch. Doesn’t really force Bertram into doing anything.

Con: He’s the Stifler of Shakespearean drama. He’s raunchy, sexist, and all around revolting as well as a guy Holden Caulfield would call, “a phony bastard.” Tries to convince Helen to lose her virginity which is very appalling. As a soldier, he tends to have a big mouth for talking about how great he is as a war hero and a ladies man when in fact, he’s neither. His talking dirty to girls and every woman he comes into contact ends up hating him. On the battlefield, he’s a complete chicken for when he loses his drum on the battlefield, he just stands around trying to come up with a story to convince he’s friends he’s injured. This blows in his face when his friends show up disguised as enemy soldiers. After he’s captured, it doesn’t take him long to sell out his friends in exchange for his freedom. Basically all talk and no action. Is the Countess’s worst nightmare who thinks he’s a terrible influence on her son Bertram. After all, he encourages her son to ditch his wife and acts as a go-between when he tries to have an extra-marital affair with Diana. Also gives Bertram silly advice.

Fate: Is eventually exposed as a coward and a liar.

 

141. The Weird Sisters

"Double, double toil and trouble;/Fire burn, and cauldron bubble." - Act IV, Scene 1. Seems like they're on to something. But what, you may never know.

“Double, double toil and trouble;/Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.” – Act IV, Scene 1. Seems like they’re on to something. But what, you may never know.

From: Macbeth

Pro: Well, since they’re witches, they tend to be quite accurate in predicting the future. Also, have a lot of memorable chants and songs. Not to mention, these women shouldn’t be underestimated.

Con: However, they partly responsible for Macbeth killing Duncan and are kind of freaky looking. Tend to represent evil, darkness, chaos, and conflict. Also we’re not sure whether they’re toiling with human lives or agents of fate.

Fate: No one knows what happened to them.

 

142. Virgilia

"Indeed, no, by your patience; I'll not over the threshold till my lord return from the wars." - Act I, Scene 3. She doesn't really say a lot in this play. Maybe it's for the best.

“Indeed, no, by your patience; I’ll not over the threshold till my lord return from the wars.” – Act I, Scene 3. She doesn’t really say a lot in this play. Maybe it’s for the best.

From: Coriolanus

Pro: She’s a perfect wife and mom who’s chaste, obedient, loving, and silent. However, she hates seeing her husband Coriolanus off to war and is one of the only characters in the cast who hates violence while even her mother-in-law and best friend talk about blood and guts.

Con: Usually keeps her own opinions to herself because she knows that whatever she says won’t influence her husband’s actions (save that one time when it came to sparing Rome). Has no influence on her son’s upbringing whatsoever.

Fate: I don’t think things will go well for her now that her husband’s dad. Because she still lives with her mother-in-law and I’m she’ll be more of an influence to her son Martius than her. And it doesn’t help that he likes to torture butterflies and turning out to be like his old man.

 

143. Tullus Aufidius

"Know thou first,/I loved the maid I married; never man/Sigh'd truer breath. But that I see thee here,/Thou noble thing, more dances my rapt heart/Than when I first my wedded mistress saw/Bestride my threshold." - Act IV, Scene 5. Okay, that seems to have some homoerotic undertones. Not that there's anything wrong with it.

“Know thou first,/I loved the maid I married; never man/Sigh’d truer breath. But that I see thee here,/Thou noble thing, more dances my rapt heart/Than when I first my wedded mistress saw/Bestride my threshold.” – Act IV, Scene 5. Okay, that seems to have some homoerotic undertones. Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

From: Coriolanus

Pro: He’s a tough Volscian general who respects Coriolanus as a soldier and is seen as a noble adversary. So when Coriolanus gets kicked out of Rome, he takes the guy in.

Con: Unfortunately, he’s not too keen on sparing Rome and negotiating peace treaties. Also kind of jealous of Coriolanus’s popularity that he eventually accuses him of treason and kills the guy. Afterward, he stands over his corpse in triumph.

Fate: We’re not sure what happens to him. But the Romans won’t be happy and he will not meet a good fate when they capture him.

 

144. King Hamlet Sr.

"I am thy father's spirit,/Doomed for a certain term to walk the night/And for the day confined to fast in fires/Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature/Are burnt and purged away." - Act 1, Scene 5. So let me guess, he wants Hamlet to kill Claudius. Why does revenge always seem to be the answer?

“I am thy father’s spirit,/Doomed for a certain term to walk the night/And for the day confined to fast in fires/Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature/Are burnt and purged away.” – Act 1, Scene 5. So let me guess, he wants Hamlet to kill Claudius. Why does revenge always seem to be the answer?

From: Hamlet

Pro: Well, at least he has some consideration to tell his son what happened from beyond the grave when he gets home. Basically was right about Claudius killing him. Tells Hamlet to be nice to his mom. Well loved and idolized by his son.

Con: Basically tells Hamlet to kill King Claudius so he could be purged of his sins. May not be as straightforward as he seems that Hamlet has to put on a play to realize he’s right. His actions on the war with Norway show us that he wasn’t as great a king as his son thinks. May be a figment of Hamlet’s imagination.

Fate: Well, he’s already dead. But I’m sure he’s going to have company so he won’t be too lonely. Then again, he might be a figure of Hamlet’s imagination.

 

145. Owen Glendower

"I am not in the roll of common men." Act III, Scene 1. No wonder Hotspur thinks he's kind of weird. But he shouldn't have alienated him.

“I am not in the roll of common men.” Act III, Scene 1. No wonder Hotspur thinks he’s kind of weird. But he shouldn’t have alienated him.

From: Henry IV Part 1

Pro: He’s a capable Welsh rebel leader who’s trying to get independence for his country. And he’s also single-handedly pushing the English out of Wales. Must be doing something right.

Con: Believes he has superpowers such as summoning demons and performing magic as well as that heaven and earth shook on his arrival. Spends a strategy meeting promising to use his “powers” to drive out English forces. Even Hotspur thinks this he’s bonkers. Yet, can’t amass his troops in time to back up Hotspur for the Battle of Shrewsbury.

Fate: Dies off stage of an illness.

 

146. Florizel

"When you do dance, I wish you/A wave o’ the sea, that you might ever do/Nothing but that."- Act IV, Scene 4. That's sweet. But I'm afraid your dad won't let you marry the shepherd girl (unless he finds out she's a princess).

“When you do dance, I wish you/A wave o’ the sea, that you might ever do/Nothing but that.”- Act IV, Scene 4. That’s sweet. But I’m afraid your dad won’t let you marry the shepherd girl (unless he finds out she’s a princess).

From: The Winter’s Tale

Pro: Helps Perdita calm her fears about disparity in their social statuses. Would rather lose everything than be apart from Perdita when his dad threatens his son’s happiness. And he runs off to Sicily with her before Polixenes could disfigure her face, hoping to hide in Leontes’s court. This helps restore her family relationships as well as Leontes’s friendship with his dad. Youthful presence has a healing effect on Leontes and his ailing court.

Con: Unfortunately, none of his actions helped reunite all of Leontes’s family.

Fate: Ends up with Perdita.

 

147. Perdita

"Even now I tremble/To think your father, by some accident,/Should pass this way as you did: O, the Fates!/How would he look, to see his work so noble/Vilely bound up? What would he say? Or how/ Should I, in these my borrow'd flaunts, behold/The sternness of his presence?" - Act IV, Scene 4. Well, if you were "Queen of the Feast," you might feel the same way.

“Even now I tremble/To think your father, by some accident,/Should pass this way as you did: O, the Fates!/How would he look, to see his work so noble/Vilely bound up? What would he say? Or how/
Should I, in these my borrow’d flaunts, behold/The sternness of his presence?” – Act IV, Scene 4. Well, if you were “Queen of the Feast,” you might feel the same way.

From: The Winter’s Tale

Pro: She’s a beautiful girl who’s survived jail and being abandoned in the woods before she could even walk. Oh, and she was raised by two shepherd guys but certainly doesn’t look like it. Her return to Sicily with her boyfriend Florizel gives new life to the kingdom.

Con: Doesn’t really have much character depth. Has no idea who she is.

Fate: Ends up with Florizel and is reunited with her parents. Oh, and her shepherd dads are ennobled there, too. However, her older brother is still dead.

 

148. Duchess Eleanor of Gloucester

"My shame will not be shifted with my sheet:/ No, it will hang upon my richest robes/And show itself, attire me how I can. /Go, lead the way; I long to see my prison." - Act II, Scene 4. And there she goes on her walk of shame because she consulted with witches. That's pretty harsh.

“My shame will not be shifted with my sheet:/
No, it will hang upon my richest robes/And show itself, attire me how I can. /Go, lead the way; I long to see my prison.” – Act II, Scene 4. And there she goes on her walk of shame because she consulted with witches. That’s pretty harsh.

From: Henry VI Part 2

Pro: Though ambitious, she’s not as bad as Queen Margaret. Also learned her lesson.

Con: Thinks her husband can become king which makes her husband mad at her. Also consulting with witches to tell the future only works in Macbeth (then again maybe not). When caught, this gets her arrested, publicly humiliated, and banished. This makes her so overcome with shame and her downfall spells the beginning of the end for her husband, too.

Fate: Is exiled to the Isle of Man. But compared to what happened to her husband, she got off easy.

 

149. Richard Neville, Earl of Warwick

"Lo, now my glory smear'd in dust and blood!/My parks, my walks, my manors that I had,/Even now forsake me; and, of all my lands, Is nothing left me, but my body's length!/Why, what is pomp, rule, reign, but earth and dust?/And, live we how we can, yet die we must." - Act V, Scene 2. He's not going to last long. Maybe he shouldn't have switched sides over Edward IV's marriage choice.

“Lo, now my glory smear’d in dust and blood!/My parks, my walks, my manors that I had,/Even now forsake me; and, of all my lands,
Is nothing left me, but my body’s length!/Why, what is pomp, rule, reign, but earth and dust?/And, live we how we can, yet die we must.” – Act V, Scene 2 in Henry VI Part 3. He’s not going to last long. Maybe he shouldn’t have switched sides over Edward IV’s marriage choice.

From: Henry VI Parts 2 and 3

Pro: He’s an honorable guy and wants a king he could really respect. Eventually sees that York’s claim to the throne was just a power grab.

Con: Can’t stand it when someone goes back on his word. Though he devotes his whole life to the York cause, he switches sides when Edward dumps the woman he chose for him for another he takes as his wife. Has done nothing with his life other than try to make other people kings and feels that none of his land holdings matter. Totally gets played and he knows it.

Fate: Dies in battle.

 

150. Prince John of Lancaster

"I pawn'd thee none:/I promis'd you redress of these same grievances/Whereof you did complain; which, by mine honour, /I will perform with a most Christian care./But for you, rebels—look to taste the due/Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours. " - Act IV, Scene 4 in Henry IV Part 2. Basically he means, "Just because I promised to address your complaints doesn't mean I'm sparing your lives."

“I pawn’d thee none:/I promis’d you redress of these same grievances/Whereof you did complain; which, by mine honour, /I will perform with a most Christian care./But for you, rebels—look to taste the due/Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours. ” – Act IV, Scene 4 in Henry IV Part 2. Basically he means, “Just because I promised to address your complaints doesn’t mean I’m sparing your lives.”

From: Henry IV Parts 1 and 2

Pro: On the outside, he seems to be the complete opposite of his older brother Hal. He’s responsible, respected by nobles at court, and fights courageously. Able to defeat the crown’s remaining enemies through manipulation and political know-how.

Con: Though he gets rebel leaders to surrender by promising to lay down their arms at a designated location in exchange that he’ll redress their grievances, he then immediately orders their executions (but, hey, he didn’t say he’d pardon them).

Fate: Fate unknown as of Henry IV Part 2.