A noteworthy and popular character in the Hunger Games is Seneca Crane, the Head Gamemaker of the 74th Hunger Games in the first book. Now in the books, he’s not mentioned by name until Catching Fire, when he’s good and dead for quite some time as we speak. Mostly because he let Katniss and Peeta live when they threatened to commit suicide together instead of kill one another. However, for him it was either having to choose between two victors or no victor at all. He went with two for a happy ending even if it didn’t end happy for him. But he play a major role in the first book in the behind the scenes, because after all, he’s the Head Gamemaker who’s in charge with what goes on in the arena. And yes, kids have died in the name of entertainment under his charge like from poisonous plants, monstrous creatures, and natural disasters. Still, according to Suzanne Collins, he doesn’t know the true purpose of the Games and is only in it for the show biz and furthering his career. And he only kills teenagers in order to put on a good show. Nevertheless, he became rather popular when the first movie came out since his role was expanded and his awesome facial hair.
For his number, I decided to have him explain his own occupation to the tune of “Master of the House” which is from the Victor Hugo based musical Les Miserables. Now the original talks about how the Thenardiers cheat their customers at their ramshackle inn which is about as filthy as what you’d expect from 1820s France. Yes, they may be quite entertaining but they are awful people who treat Cosette like shit and they’re even worse in the book. Of course, I’m not sure if they’re as bad as Seneca Crane. Yet, then again, Seneca Crane has a job in which killing teenagers is sort of part of the deal. And the Capitol is very insensitive to such teen violence that they see as entertainment. Yes, a reality show with a sick premise indeed.
“Master of the Games”
Sung by Seneca Crane
Seneca Crane, I have the beard
I am the man whom all tributes fear
I orchestrate stuff in the Games
Setting the scene and help entertain
Seldom do you see
Any men like me
Controlling the arena
Who’s content to be
Master of the Games, putting on a show
Overseeing the arena for the Hunger Games
Put some killer squirrels, make them shit their pants
Wait until you see the bullet ants
And we’re sure to have muttations
After some of them are through
But you haven’t seen nothing
You’ll see more disasters soon
Master of the Games, keeper of the zoo
Let’s unleash a killer bird or two
Add a little fire, sure to smoke them out
Sorry, a fellow tribute has just killed them now
Everybody loves a rookie
When everyone’s entertained
I do whatever pleases
The Capitol so nobody complains
Master of the Games, quick to catch yer eye
God help the tribute who avoids a fight
Add a little storm, add a little fog
Make it poisonous so they won’t last long!
Let’s have some tracker jackers
Don’t want to approach the nest
They’re deadly and persistent
So there’s not much to fight back
Show beyond compare, show beyond belief
Some won’t last a bloodbath and their time is brief
Fighting for supplies, fighting for a pack
Being attacked by Careers in the big bloodbath
Tributes are more than welcome
Cornucopia has supplies
A catfight with two girls wielding knives
Make it pour blood rain, make it sunny bright
Mess with them by switching from day to night
Here’s a little blight, there a killer mutt
Hope you aren’t there when they all go rut
Some plants may be poison
Some tributes don’t have a clue
Don’t you eat the nightlock, it’s real deadly
Jesus! Shame they hadn’t knew!
I hope Snow is pleased with all my schemes
But God Almighty, hope the kids don’t form close teams.
Master of the Games? Is it worth my spit?
Go wrong, then Snow will surely lose his shit
Hope there’s just one left, hope they don’t make pacts
If they threaten suicide, then I’ll get the ax
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a boss
God knows how I’ve lasted working for this bastard before I’m lost!
Master of the Games!
Keeper of the beard
Capitol lapdog whom
All tributes fear
Keep them entertained so they won’t complain
Don’t know why we have them but they sure are great!
Hope to have career advancement
Hope the Games go well this year
Everybody raise a glass
Hope Snow doesn’t nail my ass
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the Games!