What Not to Go (For Halloween)

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Warning: This post shows content that may or may not be safe for viewing, especially in front of young children. Some images may be guaranteed to offend racial, ethnic, and religious groups as well. Viewing discretion is advised.

Of course Halloween is around the corner which is a time for spooky decorations, pumpkin carving, ghost stories, trick or treating, parties, scary movies, and tick tacking houses. Another thing people like to for Halloween is dress up into costumes either for a party or trick or treating. Some are reserved for kids, others for adults. Still, there could be some controversy on a person’s choice in costume or how inappropriate it is. However, there are certain things for Halloween that no one should go out as regardless of age, gender, demographic, or whatever. Whatever you do, don’t go as these for Halloween.

1. Nudist

Pro: This is perhaps the easiest costume to make and the cheapest costume to buy since it doesn’t really require much of anything. Just go as you are in your birthday suit. It’s as simple as that.

Con: However, to dress up as a nudist for Halloween is perhaps one of the worst ideas. For one, you will be arrested for indecent exposure if you’re going out anywhere since public nudity is against the law. Also, there’s a good chance that you’ll offend everyone with your nakedness so much that they’ll probably call the police on you. If you’re at home, expect to frighten the trick or treaters and their parents when you emerge from your door out in the buff and they’ll never stop at your house again. If your kid’s a nudist, expect him or her to get no candy and be subject to severe criticism on how bad a parent you are. Then there’s the fact you’ll be shivering whenever you go outside.

Verdict: For God’s sake, make sure your Halloween costume is one that includes clothes. No one wants to see your private parts. Perhaps one of the worst costume ideas ever. Streaker isn’t a good idea either.

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2. A Black Person (for people who aren’t black)

Pro: Well, this might be difficult to say since I really can’t think of any pros without sounding too racist or offensive.

Con: It’s one of the most offensive costume ideas since it requires the use of blackface, especially in the United States. Not only that, but you run the risk of projecting a derogatory stereotype. You may think that dressing up as a black person  may be a way to show esteem or mock them, it’s not. Rather it’s extremely insulting to a whole demographic and one of the most anti-black things you can do. If you show up in blackface in a predominantly black neighborhood, expect to never get out of there alive. I’d say the same to those who go around wearing an Obama mask since they’re no better. Look, it’s okay not to like Obama but it’s not okay to dress up as him to mock him, especially if you’re not black for you may run a tendency of insulting almost every black person in town.

Verdict: Unless you’re a black person, don’t go as a black person. And if you don’t like Obama, go as Joe Biden instead. I know it’s no fun to be politically correct and Obama’s the president but still, it’s a terrible idea that will warrant you sensitivity training. Actually don’t go as anything that projects a derogatory racial, ethnic, or religious stereotype.

3. Feminine Hygiene Products

Pro: Well, they may be easy to make and can be made pretty cheaply. Also, you’ll be a hit with the ladies at the Halloween party.

Con: Oh, did I say hit with the ladies? I actually mean hit by the ladies. Not to mention, dressing up as a bleeding tampon or napkin is just so disgusting as well as offensive to women. Look, none of us ladies would ever consider dressing up as one of our feminine hygiene products. That goes the same with female sex organs. All dressing up in these Halloween costumes is going to do is give us ladies an impression that you’re a total douche who deserves to be slapped in the face. I understand you guys go as condoms, semen, and male sex organs and though they’re as offensive as they may be, at least they’re costumes of your respective gender. However, how would you men feel if we women went out as a condom, semen, or penis? I don’t think you’d like that.

Verdict: Oh, fucking hell, no! Just, no please. I don’t care who you are just no. Also, eeeew.

4. Pedophile Priest

Pro: Well, easy to make and cheap. Other than that, I can’t find anything.

Con: As a Roman Catholic, this is probably a costume that that is guaranteed to personally offend me since the priestly child sex abuse cases just put a stain on the Roman Catholic Church (though child molestation is just as prevalent in any organization). Not to mention, this costume is guaranteed to get a person kicked out at a Catholic school, college, church, or hospital. Look, this probably the easiest costume to offend about a billion people with regardless of church attendance and religiosity. Not to mention, you never know where you’re going to meet someone who’s Catholic. You may even know someone who’s Catholic, maybe not particularly devout but still, once a Catholic always a Catholic right? Heck, any depiction of pedophilia in Halloween is just as offensive and shouldn’t be mocked at. I mean how would it feel if you saw a costume like pedophile minister, pedophile rabbi, or Jerry Sandusky? I rest my case.

Verdict: Congratulations, you just got a billion people praying the rosary in hopes that you’ll be sent to hell. Hope you find it warm down there when you die. Oh, and I see that all those sweet nuns did a number on you and tied you to a pole. And there’s the local priest encouraging the little children to throw rocks at you. Hope you’re happy and I just don’t feel sorry for you. Should’ve gone as sexy priest instead.

5. Klu Klux Klansman

Pro: Well, easy and cheap to make. Also, more creative than a ghost.

Con: Strictly put, this costume is blatantly racist and offensive to blacks since the KKK is a terrorist organization and hate group notorious for lynching and intimidating blacks in the South. It was even revived with the release of Birth of a Nation, perhaps the most racist film to date. I don’t care if you’re going as one for laughs, you’ll be seen as an angry white supremacist wherever you go. In a black neighborhood, you might as well just pick up those white robes and run like hell because chances are, you will be lynched.

Verdict: Don’t go as a Klansman under any circumstances. You will never see the light of day with this costume on, you virulently white supremacist bastard. Hope you get killed by your own burning cross.

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6. Nazi

Pro: Well, they seem to have the nicer uniforms in all those World War II movies.

Con: You know Prince Harry got in a lot of trouble for wearing one, right? Also, you know that the Nazis were responsible for making Germany a totalitarian dictatorship, starting a world war, committing mass genocide that included 6-9 million Jews. That costume is sure going to make you look very anti-Semitic.

Verdict: Unless you’re doing a production of The Producers in which you sing, “Springtime for Hitler,” don’t go as this, period. On second thought, just don’t even if you do play a Nazi in your professional life or are just in WW2 reenactments. I mean you never know where you’ll meet a Jew or somebody whose grandma survived the Holocaust. And I’m sure a Holocaust survivor is certainly going to have plenty of ideas of what to do if you if yo happen to just don that Nazi uniform. Plus, wearing a Nazi uniform is certainly going to get you arrested in Germany since the Germans practically banned anything associated with Nazism. Same goes for Hitler.

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7. Muslim Terrorist

Pro: Might be a way to show off your creative talents and doesn’t cost much to make.

Con: It’s one of the most offensive Halloween costumes out there, especially in a post-911 world. Muslims already have a hard time in this country after all the shit they’ve been through like being racially profiled and stereotyped as terrorists. This kind of stereotyping has been very detrimental for Muslims living in America who also died on 9/11, fought in our wars, lived in our country as law-abiding citizens, and supported our country through thick and thin. And it still sparks controversy if a group of Muslims want to build a mosque in a community so they can practice their faith in this country as they please. Besides, Islam isn’t as much a violent religion as Christianity, historically speaking and most Muslims are just regular people who live their own lives. Nor does it encourage anti-Western or anti-American ideology as  a matter of fact.

Verdict: Almost nothing can inspire jihadist action among Muslims than seeing a person in the West wearing that highly offensive costume. Might inspire real hatred for your country if an Islamist terrorists sees you in that. And you don’t want to be an inspiration for terrorism right?

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8. Sexy Kids Show Character

Pro: It’s a nice way to look cute at a Halloween Party and pay homage to your favorite character from your childhood.

Con: Actually makes that particular kids show character be suitable for a pornographic film. Not to mention, many of these sexy kids show costumes are marketed toward women which is also part of a disturbing trend of making women’s costumes seem sexy. Can I just go as regular Elmo? Really? Besides, most of the sexy Sesame Street costumes are those that feature male characters like Bert an Ernie. Yes, there’s a sexy Bert and Ernie costume. Not to mention, those kind of costumes might kill a child’s innocence.

Verdict: Making kids show characters as sexy costumes is just plain, well, wrong. There are some costumes that shouldn’t be made sexy and I think kids show characters should be one of them. Besides, no one wants to see a sexy Cookie Monster. That little 3-year-old may not see Elmo in the same way again.

9. Depraved Sex Maniac

Pro: There are so many ways to get creative with this costume, with many of the results being hilarious. There are just so many variations of this costume.

Con: Dressing up as a depraved sex maniac is not only an unsuitable costume to greet trick or treaters in, but also very offensive even in front of mature audiences depending on the material. Perhaps the only occasion I can ever find this kind of costume being appropriate in is an adults-only Halloween party, especially if its venue is a frat house. Still, would you want people to post pictures of you in such a costume on Facebook? Think about it.

Verdict: Would you want to be known as the guy who dressed up as a man banging a sheep? I wouldn’t think so. I mean they post pictures of that on the internet, you know. Besides, you don’t want to be in that kind of costume when trick or treaters come to your house. I mean think of the children and parents.

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10. Asian Doll (for Non-Asians)

Pro: These are fairly popular among non-Asian women. Not to mention, Asian women are said to be rather desirable.

Con: The  reason I put for Non-Asians is that no self-respecting Asian woman would want to wear one (maybe geisha but I’m not so sure). For one, these are sexy costumes which is kind of sexist toward women. Second, the take-out costume is just begging for gross jokes about “eating out.” Not to mention, it’s a stereotype of an Americanized version of what “Chinese” is. Also, the hyper-sexualization of this costume feeds into the all to prominent stereotypes of Asian women. Yikes!

Verdict: Actually, any sexy ethnic girl costumes shouldn’t be worn on Halloween, period. They’re offensive regardless of nationality.

11. Geisha Girl (also for Non-Asians)

Pro: Hmmm, this is a challenging one. I wonder if it’s because of Memoirs of a Geisha having something to do with it. Maybe it’s just a symbol of Japanese decadence or the female equivalent of the samurai costume.

Con: For one, in many circles geishas are considered high-end prostitutes, which is a cause for concern. Second, a geisha girl is a racist and sexual stereotype thrust upon Asian women which paints them as submissive, doll-like, and existing only to sexually gratify others. In turn this harms many Asian women since many non-Asians tend to defend geisha girls on a pedestal even though it’s considered a fossilized archetype in modern day Japan. So nostalgia’s probably not always a good thing.

Verdict: This costume has a lot of grey area depending on the variation but still, many Japanese women can get offended by that regardless of costume scheme. Still, I think I’d suggest maybe you go as Murisaki Shikibu, one of the world’s earliest known women writers and perhaps the world’s first novelist. Of course, The Tale of Genji isn’t one that’s necessarily suitable for children but people still read it. Yet, at least she’s a better Japanese female figure than a geisha girl. At least many Japanese women would be impressed if you know who Murisaki Shikibu was. In fact, dress up as any famous Japanese woman even it’s Yoko Ono. Also, a character from anime and manga is a viable option.

12. Anything with an Erection

Pro: Can make a boring costume hilarious.

Con: Not suited for younger children and the erection might depend on the kind of costume. If you’re dressing as a Viagra salesman, then it’s uniquely appropriate (though I don’t know why you’d want to dress as a Viagra salesman). If you’re dressing up as like a prisoner, teacher, or priest, then it’s deeply offensive. Also, most of the time having an erection in your costume makes other girls think you’re too dumb to have a creative costume idea.

Verdict: Can’t you come up with some original costume idea that doesn’t involve any form of crude frat boy jokes? Seriously, guys, sometimes you’re just too obsessed with your sex organs.

13. Abortion Themed Costumes

Pro: This might help get the pro-choice and pro-life sides agreeing with something.

Con: Actually you’ll get them to agreeing that your costume is inherently offensive since abortion is such a serious issue and isn’t an issue you want to address on Halloween. This will certainly result in you getting attack in some way or another like a pipe bomb stuffed down your pipe or acid thrown in your face type.

Verdict: Just stay away from doing an abortion themed costume. Just stay away if you don’t want a gang of torches and pitchforks going after you. Abortion is absolutely not the kind of topic people should joke about. It’s a deadly serious issue and I’ll just leave it at that.

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14. Catastrophe Victims or Disasters

Pro: This might be a tough one.

Con: Obviously, these costumes revolve around moments of great tragedy and heartbreak that it goes without saying that they would be highly inappropriate for a Halloween costume. I mean all these costumes are going to illustrate is how an insensitive jerk you are.

Verdict: Please don’t wear these costumes, whatever you do. Otherwise, I hope you receive a well-deserving slap or punch in the face. Insensitive jerk, indeed.

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15. Indian Princess

Pro: You might be able to wear this costume on Thanksgiving which would especially help if you’re an elementary school teacher supposing if the costume is decent enough.

Con: The sexy version of this costume is highly offensive especially if it’s know as a “seductive squaw.” The term “squaw” is a very derogatory name for an Indian woman which the First Nations certainly won’t take too kindly. A sexy Pocahontas costume would be even worse since she was about 12 at the time when she saved John Smith and sexualizing pre-adolescents is never a good idea. Also, a political incorrect depiction might be deemed fairly offensive. I mean this costume has the potential to offend American Indians at different levels. Actually most Native American costumes do.

Verdict: This costume is probably most likely better left for children to wear since adults who wear this to work will probably receive a certain amount of sensitivity training (or just be fired). Actually almost any Native American costume can fit into this even in a mascot capacity (sorry, Redskins fans). Still, I’d stay away from this costume if I were you.

16. Poop

Pro: May be and cheap to make. As to any explanation why anyone would do this costume, I don’t have the slightest idea.

Con: For one, this is a disgusting and poor taste idea for a costume that seems to be thought up at the last minute. Second, it might make many people at the party think you’re No. 2 (and not the first runner-up kind either). Third, I’m sure you’re not going to pick up any chicks with that kind of costumes.

Verdict: Seriously, you went as that for Halloween? Honestly, you have to go as that. Some things should never be costume ideas, plain and simple. Also, eeeeew.

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17. Jesus Christ

Pro: Well, what better costume for a CCD or Sunday School Halloween party than dressing up as the Prince of Peace?

Con: Except that he’s a religious figure, which is always controversial no matter what the depiction. Secondly, there are also certain Christian groups who don’t celebrate Halloween based on false claims that it promotes things like paganism, witchcraft, sin, and devil worship. I mean the holiday basically offends them to this degree already so dressing up like Jesus is certainly going to piss them off and somewhat confirm their beliefs about the holiday when they see you twerking on the dance floor or making out with a witch in a car.

Verdict: Only dressing as Muhammad would be worse since you’re not even allowed to depict a picture of him.

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18. Pimps and Ho’s

Pro: Well, its a good excuse to get dolled out and slutty.

Con: Some costumes may have some people mistake you for the real thing and God help you if those are the police pr a serial killer. Also, they are highly inappropriate and tend to somewhat glamorize certain folks who aren’t just committing illegal acts (at least in the US) but also don’t live nice lives (prostitutes are always highly susceptible to violent crimes during their work hours). Not to mention, pimps aren’t nice people (I mean they’re sex traffickers) as well as the kind who should never be idolized in rap lyrics. Not only that, but not all pimps dress like that (some of them just dress in plain normal clothes in order to get girls into the business). And another thing, wearing either has the potential to offend African Americans who are said to be frequent depictions of either.

Verdict: If you watched what happened to Kramer when he tried to get to the pink Cadillac. Take it as a word of caution. Also, you might have the potential to be mistaken for a stripper.

19. Recently Deceased Public Figures

Pro: Chances are people will recognize who you’re dressed up for Halloween since their death has been on the news.

Con: It’s perhaps way too soon since the person who died may still have friends and family in mourning, especially if they died under untimely and tragic circumstances. You might want to wait a year, or fifty.

Verdict: Perhaps you should stick to celebrities who are either still alive or been dead for at least a decade.

20. Santa Claus

Pro: If your seasonal job is being Santa at the mall, this might be pretty convenient.

Con: Some is little kid is going to wonder why Santa answered the door to your house on Halloween during trick or treating. I mean Santa Claus is very closely tied to Christmas and that’s only a couple months away. Also, might kind of remind people what’s coming up next commercialwise so they don’t want to see anyone in a Santa suit until after Thanksgiving.

Verdict: As a holiday mascot, you might want to avoid dressing up like Santa to avoid confusion or anger.

Conclusion:

Of course, there are plenty more costume ideas you shouldn’t try on Halloween and I’ll just leave you at that.

For intentionally offensive costumes:

http://www.holytaco.com/25-intentionally-offensive-halloween-costumes/

Here’s a satiric article on politically incorrect costumes:

http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/costumes.htm

Here’s some more offensive costumes:

http://happyplace.someecards.com/11102/the-most-inappropriate-halloween-costumes-of-all-time

Here’s some costumes gone horribly wrong:

http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/24-embarrassing-homemade-halloween-costumes

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8 responses to “What Not to Go (For Halloween)

  1. Pingback: HALLOWEEN Is Almost Here, Come on Everyone Get You GEAR | Dream Amazon

  2. Pingback: Death Plays | Crow Arrow, Inc.

  3. Pingback: Is Your Halloween Costume Racist? — Everyday Feminism

    • I didn’t say it wasn’t all right to be someone who’s now dead for Halloween. I only said it wasn’t all right to dress up as a celebrity who has been dead for less than a year, especially if they didn’t die from natural causes. Also, I only posted a picture of people dressing up as JFK and Jackie Kennedy not because they’re celebrities but because this couple dressed as them during the Kennedy assassination which was a national tragedy and not appropriate to depict in Halloween costume. Still, I have no qualms about people dressing up as some random ghost or zombie since they’re not real or famous people who are long dead.

  4. Pingback: Is Your Halloween Costume Racist? -

  5. “In fact, dress up as any famous Japanese woman even it’s Yoko Ono. Also, a character from anime and manga is a viable option.”

    I think a lot of people will disagree with you on this one because of a general misunderstanding about “cultural appropriation.” A reasonably sensitive human being who understands that Japan is not some oppressed 3rd world country (and is on par with the US economically), understands that the Meiji era ushered in a society that actually embraces cultural exchange, and that several teen subcultures and scenes embrace a wide historical range of American and European fashion, might be able to pull it off. Although I would err on the side of safety and consider converting your Murisaki Shikibu outfit into a 2000 yen note costume. (What’s sad is that while a woman is on what would be the Japanese equivalent of the most convenient bill in US circulation [the $20 bill] it still remains about as popular as the Sacagawea or the Susan B. is in the US).

    Actually, I’d hope that dressing like the guy on the American $20 would be on the same level of offensiveness as the “Sexy Squaw” costume.

    Also agreeing with the PedoPriest costume for different reasons, it’s incredibly tacky low hanging fruit and suggests a gross misunderstanding of statistics. Also, the “Sexy Statutory Rape Teacher” and “Molest me Elmo” are horribly tacky ideas on many, many levels. I’d think that someone going as any type of “pedophile” for Halloween (even the gray area Elm Street inspired “Freddie costumes”) would inspire pity (for being incredibly stupid and obvious) rather than outrage.

  6. Well, maybe you’re right about Murasaki Shikibu or Yoko Ono but either are better than a geisha girl. However, the only reason I’d advise against dressing as a geisha girl for Halloween because people in the Western world assume that they’re Japanese prostitutes, which is a very negative stereotype. I was just talking about how they were perceived in the West, that’s all. As for manga and anime characters, they’re from cartoons.

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