The Special Delivery World of Mailboxes

mailboxes

Before the days of the internet, people used to communicate to each other by writing letters which they received in what’s called a mailbox. Of course, though we may not write letters to each other anymore, we still have these remnants around mostly because we don’t have teleporter technology that enables us to send packages and bills through the internet. And the fact it’s one of the few forms of communication that everyone uses to some level or another. So whether you like it or not, mailboxes are here to stay indefinitely and snail mail is not dead. After all, where else can the postman deliver the DVD you rented from Netflix? Nevertheless, most of us usually have mailboxes that aren’t too fancy such as a plain metal box with a round top and red flag to alert the mail carriers to pick up the stuff we’re sending off. Some might use a box on the front of their house. Or some might use a large mailbox around the corner. But there are some people who have rather elaborate mail boxes that might strike you as quite unusual or probably mark the home of the neighborhood nut job. Of course, in my area if someone had a mailbox that looked as outlandish as the ones I’ll present to you, people might not see them as sane since my neighborhood once endured a series of mailbox smashings during a summer when I was sixteen. This left the one at my house at the time basically reduced to a plastic stand that my family had to receive their mail at the post office for awhile until my parents bought a metal one in its place. And that’s why people in my neighborhood can’t have nice things. But at any rate, for your reading pleasure I bring you a glimpse into the crazy world of mailboxes.

  1. Now that’s one way to recycle an old broken microwave.
But if you want to use it as a mailbox keep it secure on a wooden post, attach a flag, and apply some house numbers. Otherwise, people are just going to see it as a microwave and take it.

But if you want to use it as a mailbox keep it secure on a wooden post, attach a flag, and apply some house numbers. Otherwise, people are just going to see it as a microwave and take it.

2. Guess this is the mailbox for Robot Chicken.

Robot Chicken does videos on the internet, by the way. But this mailbox really takes the robotic chicken concept quite literally.

Robot Chicken does videos on the internet, by the way. But this mailbox really takes the robotic chicken concept quite literally.

3. Looks like this mailbox has already sprouted flowers.

Okay, they're metal flowers. But whatever they're made from, they're quite pretty to me.

Okay, they’re metal flowers. But whatever they’re made from, they’re quite pretty to me.

4. With a mailbox like this, catfishing seems to take a whole new meaning.

Catfishing is when you meet someone in person you met through phone, mail, or online and they don't turn out to be what they say they are. Yet, this mailbox is of a literal catfish.

Catfishing is when you meet someone in person you met through phone, mail, or online and they don’t turn out to be what they say they are. Yet, this mailbox is of a literal catfish.

5. This mailbox shows how this mountainous area as if it had bloomed from a flower.

Too bad the petals on this flower seem to resemble butt cheeks. Yeah, that doesn't look right.

Too bad the petals on this flower seem to resemble butt cheeks. Yeah, that doesn’t look right.

6. If you can have a flamingo in your garden, how about one in your mailbox?

After all, a flamingo mailbox is just as tacky as a lawn ornament. Besides, it'll make you stand out in the neighborhood.

After all, a flamingo mailbox is just as tacky as a lawn ornament. Besides, it’ll make you stand out in the neighborhood.

7. Perhaps you and your neighbors can make the mailman’s job easier by putting your mailboxes on a wheel.

That way, the mail carrier can just spin the wheel to deliver the mail instead of having to stop their truck constantly. Seems more convenient to them.

That way, the mail carrier can just spin the wheel to deliver the mail instead of having to stop their truck constantly. Seems more convenient to them.

8. This mailbox is all held up by a bunch of pencils.

And they all seem to be in different colors, too. But I'm sure you can't use them.

And they all seem to be in different colors, too. But I’m sure you can’t use them.

9. Why chase windmills when you can receive your mail in one?

Sure having this might make people think you need a psychiatrist. But it sure looks quite charming in its own way.

Sure having this might make people think you need a psychiatrist. But it sure looks quite charming in its own way.

10. Got rusty mailboxes? You can always decorate them.

One of these is decorated with a crocheted quilt cozy. The other has flowers on it. Seems like this one is used for a college.

One of these is decorated with a crocheted quilt cozy. The other has flowers on it. Seems like this one is used for a college.

11. Hope you can get to your mail before the bear does.

Didn't know you can have wood sculpture mailboxes. Not sure how that works. But this is quite clever.

Didn’t know you can have wood sculpture mailboxes. Not sure how that works. But this is quite clever.

12. Guess this biker wants to out jump this orange mailbox.

Yes, I know the person who lives at that place is either crazy or a repressed art major. But at least no one is bound to mistake their address during mail time.

Yes, I know the person who lives at that place is either crazy or a repressed art major. But at least no one is bound to mistake their address during mail time.

13. This mailbox boldly goes where no man has gone before.

Yes, this is a mailbox depicting the Enterprise from Star Trek which is set at a time when nobody uses mailboxes at all. Seriously, they have replicators and teleport technology.

Yes, this is a mailbox depicting the Enterprise from Star Trek which is set at a time when nobody uses mailboxes at all. Seriously, they have replicators and teleport technology.

14. If you want the mail carrier to remember where you live, how about a mailbox of your own house?

After all, whoever lived there certainly did. Then again, some people might not have that option.

After all, whoever lived there certainly did. Then again, some people might not have that option.

15. Looks like this house belongs to a Mr. Charles Brown.

Because I can recognized that it has Snoopy and Woodstock. Still, like the red doghouse motif.

Because I can recognized that it has Snoopy and Woodstock. Still, like the red doghouse motif.

16. This scuba diver mailbox seems to belong under the sea.

After all, the guy swimming certainly seems like he's underwater. Also, note the crabs below him.

After all, the guy swimming certainly seems like he’s underwater. Also, note the crabs below him.

17. Didn’t know you can plant flowers near your mailbox.

Then again, I'm not sure whether some of these flowers are even real. But they sure are pretty.

Then again, I’m not sure whether some of these flowers are even real. But they sure are pretty.

18. Looks like this maibox is standing on half a boat.

Well, half a kayak anyway. Probably seems like it was created by someone with too much time on their hands.

Well, half a kayak anyway. Probably seems like it was created by someone with too much time on their hands.

19. This skeleton is just lounging around without a care in the world.

Yes, he's just kicking back with food, beer, music, and lots of sun. What more can he ask for?

Yes, he’s just kicking back with food, beer, music, and lots of sun. What more can he ask for?

20. Guess this is where everyone makes a deposit so the mailman can withdraw.

Because this mailbox apparently resembles an old wooden outhouse. And it has a spider on it.

Because this mailbox apparently resembles an old wooden outhouse. And it has a spider on it.

21. Seems like this box was made from a whole neighborhood block.

Actually it's just a wooden mailbox with homes painted. But you have to admire the vibrant colors.

Actually it’s just a wooden mailbox with homes painted. But you have to admire the vibrant colors.

22. My, that’s one fearsome fish.

On bright side, having a mailbox like this can potentially scare off potential smashers. On the downside, it might scare the shit out of mail carriers.

On bright side, having a mailbox like this can potentially scare off potential smashers. On the downside, it might scare the shit out of mail carriers and everyone else.

23. Wonder what’s buzzing inside this one.

Hope it doesn't contain anything that might get you stung. Still, this is really adorable if you ask me.

Hope it doesn’t contain anything that might get you stung. Still, this is really adorable if you ask me.

24. Apparently, some painter lives at that address.

You can obviously guess from the wooden paint pallet and brushes. Guess the artist wants to advertise.

You can obviously guess from the wooden paint pallet and brushes. Guess the artist wants to advertise their craft.

25. In this mailbox, every type of mail has its proper place.

The fact that papers and bills go into the old wood stove is only coincidental. Looks like someone doesn't care about receiving such stuff very much.

The fact that papers and bills go into the old wood stove is only coincidental. Looks like someone doesn’t care about receiving such stuff very much.

26. So is this mailbox used by a school?

Because it seems to really take the form of a yellow school bus. Like how they have little people figures inside.

Because it seems to really take the form of a yellow school bus. Like how they have little people figures inside.

27. Don’t mind the blue stick figure handling the yellow mailbox. He won’t hurt you.

After all, he's just being very friendly. So it's nothing you should be concerned about. Honest.

After all, he’s just being very friendly. So it’s nothing you should be concerned about. Honest.

28. This tractor mailbox can hold its mail fill at any rate.

Doesn't hurt that it was made from an old propane tank. Got to love the wheels and the seat.

Doesn’t hurt that it was made from an old propane tank. Got to love the wheels and the seat.

29. Seems like this mailbox is quite fancy.

This one seems to have a lovely painting and a lot of flowery touches. Definitely not one you'd want in my neighborhood (because it might get smashed).

This one seems to have a lovely painting and a lot of flowery touches. Definitely not one you’d want in my neighborhood (because it might get smashed).

30. In Hawaii, tiki mailboxes are all the rage.

Well, at least in some areas anyway. Not sure if I'd like to see people with mailboxes containing weird faces and wild hair like that.

Well, at least in some areas anyway. Not sure if I’d like to see people with mailboxes containing weird faces and wild hair like that.

31. Sometimes you might need some robotic help for mailbox handling.

But don't worry. Sure Zorg may seem like he wants to kill you. But he's just holding the mailbox for the Patterson family. Nothing you should worry about.

But don’t worry. Sure Zorg may seem like he wants to kill you. But he’s just holding the mailbox for the Patterson family. Nothing you should worry about.

32. With a mailbox like this, you might be flying high.

Guess any mail received in this goes in first, business, or coach. Unless it belongs to Southwest Airlines, then it's always coach.

Guess any mail received in this goes in first, business, or coach. Unless it belongs to Southwest Airlines, then it’s always coach.

33. So this is where you’d receive the pelican brief.

By the way The Pelican Brief is a legal thriller by John Grisham that was made into a movie. And sorry, bird fans, but it has nothing to do with pelicans. But this mailbox does.

By the way The Pelican Brief is a legal thriller by John Grisham that was made into a movie. And sorry, bird fans, but it has nothing to do with pelicans. But this mailbox does.

34. Not sure if the mail carrier will ever see the irony here.

But I'm sure this mailbox will stand in rain, snow, sleet, or hail. Because the mail must always be delivered save Sundays or holidays.

But I’m sure this mailbox will stand in rain, snow, sleet, or hail. Because the mail must always be delivered save Sundays or holidays.

35. Guess this person loves to make a flowery impression.

Yes, it's a large flower all right. And the mailbox is smack dab in the center. Wonder what the mail carrier thinks about that.

Yes, it’s a large flower all right. And the mailbox is smack dab in the center. Wonder what the mail carrier thinks about that.

36. Sometimes a mailbox is considered a sacred space.

But you can't help but like this one of a dazzling blue church near a seaside town. So lovely.

But you can’t help but like this one of a dazzling blue church near a seaside town. So lovely.

37. Seems like this mailbox comes locked and loaded.

No wonder this mailbox belongs to an NRA member who doesn't believe in gun control. Probably a place I want to avoid.

No wonder this mailbox belongs to an NRA member who doesn’t believe in gun control. Probably a place I want to avoid.

38. Hope this mailbox doesn’t let out a squawk.

Though this is a colorful parrot mailbox. Wouldn't want to see it get smashed.

Though this is a colorful parrot mailbox. Wouldn’t want to see it get smashed.

39. Looks like the mail comes in at the last drop.

Apparently, it seems do in this pipe mailbox. Guess this might belong to a waterworks.

Apparently, it seems do in this pipe mailbox. Guess this might belong to a waterworks.

40. Imagine trying to send your mail from a tree stump.

Well, I'm sure this isn't really a tree trunk. But it doesn't quite seem right, don't you think?

Well, I’m sure this isn’t really a tree trunk. But it doesn’t quite seem right, don’t you think?

41. In the event of biblical flooding, this mailbox can keep your mail dry for 40 days and 40 nights.

Okay, I know that's not the case with any mailbox. But since this is a Noah's Ark one, I had to put a little biblical humor in this one.

Okay, I know that’s not the case with any mailbox. But since this is a Noah’s Ark one, I had to put a little biblical humor in this one.

42. This marlin mailbox might seem a bit fishy for some people.

No, this isn't a swordfish, though marlins tend to be mistaken as this. But marlins don't have nearly that long of bill and display more elaborate fins.

No, this isn’t a swordfish, though marlins tend to be mistaken as this. But marlins don’t have nearly that long of bill and display more elaborate fins.

43. Nothing makes a mail carrier happier than a mailbox hanging garden.

The mail goes in the birdhouse on this one. But the flowers on this are quite pretty.

The mail goes in the birdhouse on this one. But the flowers on this are quite pretty.

44. Anyone from Purdue would surely love to receive their mail in the Boilermaker Special.

Really wanted to do something with the Boilermaker Special in the college sports craft post. But I couldn't find any relating to that.

Really wanted to do something with the Boilermaker Special in the college sports craft post. But I couldn’t find any relating to that.

45. Guess whoever owns this mailbox has been swept up in patriotic fervor lately.

Not only is this mailbox and stand painted like an American flag, but it even has a bald eagle on top. Guess someone must have too much time on their hands.

Not only is this mailbox and stand painted like an American flag, but it even has a bald eagle on top. Guess someone must have too much time on their hands.

46. When mail comes a knocking, this mailbox is a rockin.’

Yes, this mailbox is in the shape of an electric guitar. How cool is that?

Yes, this mailbox is in the shape of an electric guitar. How cool is that?

47. This mailbox comes with a maritime touch.

It's shaped like a submarine periscope with a boat on it. And it seems to be from Wales.

It’s shaped like a submarine periscope with a boat on it. And it seems to be from Wales.

48. You may not see anything nearly as graceful as this mailbox.

Sure swans may be beautiful creatures on the water. But they're not friendly. In fact, they can be quite mean and vicious.

Sure swans may be beautiful creatures on the water. But they’re not friendly. In fact, they can be quite mean and vicious.

49. Seems like this little owl house mailbox has to be a hoot.

Well, the mailbox is on the owl statue. But it seems to be a quite clever design nonetheless. Love the owl glasses.

Well, the mailbox is on the owl statue. But it seems to be a quite clever design nonetheless. Love the owl glasses.

50. No, I don’t think you’ll find any electrical circuits here.

Nice to see how this is specifically labeled "US Mail." So you won't mistake it for something you see on the power lines.

Nice to see how this is specifically labeled “US Mail.” So you won’t mistake it for something you see on the power lines.

51. Looks like someone in this neighborhood is working for the Galactic Empire.

Yet, apparently, their mail seems be all up in Darth Vader's TIE. Oh, wait, could he live there?

Yet, apparently, their mail seems be all up in Darth Vader’s TIE. Oh, wait, could he live there?

52. This golf cart mailbox doesn’t hesitate to tell people to drive safely.

Or at least I think it's a golf cart because it sure looks like it. Then again, it might be something else.

Or at least I think it’s a golf cart because it sure looks like it. Then again, it might be something else.

53. This Big Ben mailbox knows how to make an impression.

As to why anyone would want a mailbox that high, I don't have the slightest idea. Seriously, it might need a lightning rod at that point.

As to why anyone would want a mailbox that high, I don’t have the slightest idea. Seriously, it might need a lightning rod at that point.

54. A mailbox like this is perfect for down on the farm.

Since it seems to be shape like a little red barn you see in children's books. Like the roof though.

Since it seems to be shape like a little red barn you see in children’s books. Like the roof though.

55. Here we have an old cowboy and his dog at this mail depot.

Both seem to be likely cast in bronze, too. Guess this mailbox certainly did not come cheap.

Both seem to be likely cast in bronze, too. Guess this mailbox certainly did not come cheap.

56. Guess this traffic light doesn’t tell you when to stop or go.

Guess each one has a face on which type of mail. I bet the frownie red face is for bills.

Guess each one has a face on which type of mail. I bet the frownie red face is for bills.

57. This mailbox seems all shelled out.

Well, all seashelled out, anyway. Another mailbox you wouldn't want in my neighborhood. Lovely.

Well, all seashelled out, anyway. Another mailbox you wouldn’t want in my neighborhood. Lovely.

58. You wouldn’t want to run into this standing white tiger.

You should also know that he knows karate. So he could basically nail your ass in more ways than the average tiger. Avoid.

You should also know that he knows karate. So he could basically nail your ass in more ways than the average tiger. Avoid.

59. Got an old fashioned camera? Perhaps you can use it as a mailbox.

Well, if the said camera doesn't fetch a good price at an antique shop. Then again, it's worth a try.

Well, if the said camera doesn’t fetch a good price at an antique shop. Then again, it’s worth a try.

60. Hope you know how to smile for the picture.

Okay, this is a Nikon camera mailbox made from wood. Guess the mail comes in from the side.

Okay, this is a Nikon camera mailbox made from wood. Guess the mail comes in from the side.

61. This mailbox comes well anchored.

In this case, quite literally if you apply the maritime logic. Even on land.

In this case, quite literally if you apply the maritime logic. Even on land.

62. Apparently, someone’s mail has a large snake wrapping around it.

Don't worry, the snake isn't real and is only on there for artistic purposes. So you're safe.

Don’t worry, the snake isn’t real and is only on there for artistic purposes. So you’re safe.

63. Insert your Santa letter here.

Didn't know there even was a mailbox you can send your letters to the North Pole. Interesting.

Didn’t know there even was a mailbox you can send your letters to the North Pole. Interesting.

64. This mailbox is all covered with gears and chains.

Looks like the decorations on here came from a bunch of old bikes. Like the face in the front.

Looks like the decorations on here came from a bunch of old bikes. Like the face in the front.

65. This lighthouse mailbox will help you find your way home.

Wonder if it really lights up like a real lighthouse. Then again, I do admire the brick work, too.

Wonder if it really lights up like a real lighthouse. Then again, I do admire the brick work, too.

66. This hammer mailbox surely nails it in.

Or perhaps "mails it in." Maybe that's not a really good pun. Hope the mail carrier in that neck of the woods isn't a real tool.

Or perhaps “mails it in.” Maybe that’s not a really good pun. Hope the mail carrier in that neck of the woods isn’t a real tool.

67. This computer mailbox is always online.

Well, not online on the technical sense. But it's a great place to mail back your Netflix DVDs.

Well, not online on the technical sense. But it’s a great place to mail back your Netflix DVDs.

68. This metal camper contains special deliveries.

Then again, why anyone would want to use a mailbox while camping is beyond me. Seriously, why?

Then again, why anyone would want to use a mailbox while camping is beyond me. Seriously, why?

69. This drum set mailbox doesn’t miss a beat.

Apparently, it came with cymbal and a gong. Hope it doesn't get out of hand with the bass.

Apparently, it came with cymbal and a gong. Hope it doesn’t get out of hand with the bass.

70. I’m sure you won’t get any gas from here.

Because it's used for holding mail, not fuel. Also, it's kind of in an old fashioned style like 1950s.

Because it’s used for holding mail, not fuel. Also, it’s kind of in an old fashioned style like 1950s.

71. You can always go with the old stage coach option.

Never mind that it's practically obsolete since we had trains, cars, and planes. But at least you can have this wooden mailbox.

Never mind that it’s practically obsolete since we had trains, cars, and planes. But at least you can have this wooden mailbox.

72. Bet you can send your letter with this little seagull.

Sure it looks like a bird in the box. But it's an adorable bird in the box. From Japan.

Sure it looks like a bird in the box. But it’s an adorable bird in the box. From Japan.

73. For a more eco-friendly delivery, a birch mailbox will suit your fancy.

Goes well with a birch tree. But will it hold up is my question. Probably.

Goes well with a birch tree. But will it hold up is my question. Probably.

74. Guess this casket mailbox is buried with mail from the inside.

Then again, you can tell where they put the mail in. Guess this is for a funeral home but it doesn't seem that way.

Then again, you can tell where they put the mail in. Guess this is for a funeral home but it doesn’t seem that way.

75. Seems like this beaver has been a bit lonely lately.

At least its chomping on a log over a wooden mailbox. Still, it's adorable.

At least its chomping on a log over a wooden mailbox. Still, it’s adorable.

76. This US Capitol mailbox surely has its own patriotic charm.

Well, seems like a rather skinny replica of it, anyway. But I really think this is an awesome design.

Well, seems like a rather skinny replica of it, anyway. But I really think this is an awesome design.

77. This cactus mailbox seems to have room for 3.

Sure it's all in green. But at least it's somewhat convenient for the neighborhood.

Sure it’s all in green. But at least it’s somewhat convenient for the neighborhood.

78. This log cabin mailbox has a rather rustic facade.

Seems like it was made out of Lincoln logs for some reason. Maybe because Lincoln logs look like that.

Seems like it was made out of Lincoln logs for some reason. Maybe because Lincoln logs look like that.

79. This lighthouse mailbox will surely shine on the coast.

Yes, it's another lighthouse mailbox. But this one is made from wood, painted, blue and much smaller than the other one.

Yes, it’s another lighthouse mailbox. But this one is made from wood, painted, blue and much smaller than the other one.

80. This shiny red barn mailbox comes with its own black weather vane.

Yes, it's another barn mailbox. But this one looks different and has a more shinier look to it. Couldn't pass it up.

Yes, it’s another barn mailbox. But this one looks different and has a more shinier look to it. Couldn’t pass it up.

81. This horse mailbox can sure gallop with grace.

This one is also cast in bronze. Not sure what I think about the mane. But it's almost lifelike.

This one is also cast in bronze. Not sure what I think about the mane. But it’s almost lifelike.

82. This fire truck mailbox may not put out fires but it’ll keep the mail secure.

There seem to be a lot of firetruck mailboxes. But this is the one I think really stands out for me. Love the detail.

There seem to be a lot of firetruck mailboxes. But this is the one I think really stands out for me. Love the detail.

83. This green mailbox comes with its own built in lift.

This is certainly for a company called Sunbelt. They specialize in construction equipment rentals.

This is certainly for a company called Sunbelt. They specialize in construction equipment rentals.

84. This Green Bay Packers mailbox seems rather cheesy to me.

Then again, it's only fitting since their fans are called "Cheeseheads." So they have to come with a cheesy mailbox, too.

Then again, it’s only fitting since their fans are called “Cheeseheads.” So they have to come with a cheesy mailbox, too.

85. This mailbox has the spirit of an Old West saloon.

You know the place in westerns where they all get into fights and shoot each other. Still, this has very fine woodwork.

You know the place in westerns where they all get into fights and shoot each other. Still, this has very fine woodwork.

86. Of course, many young children could dream of having this Thomas the Tank Engine mailbox.

Well, this seems kind of fancy for Thomas. But it'll do. So cute.

Well, this seems kind of fancy for Thomas. But it’ll do. So cute.

87. This Up mailbox is a pure Disney Pixar dream.

A lot of people seem to really like the Up house. Maybe because of the nice colors and balloons. Love it.

A lot of people seem to really like the Up house. Maybe because of the nice colors and balloons. Love it.

88. This mailbox should indicate to you that you’re in Gator country.

As in Florida Gator country. But note that Florida also has a lot of real alligators, too. And they're not friendly.

As in Florida Gator country. But note that Florida also has a lot of real alligators, too. And they’re not friendly.

89. This shows where real mail and span go.

I'm sure the spam mailbox is practically empty. But this set up is pretty amusing.

I’m sure the spam mailbox is practically empty. But this set up is pretty amusing.

90. This lobster mailbox always comes in fully clawed.

Now that's a funny looking lobster. But since it's a mailbox, I'll allow it.

Now that’s a funny looking lobster. But since it’s a mailbox, I’ll allow it.

91. In this set up, junk mail always ends up in the toilet.

Well, I have to admit that whoever made this has quite the sense of humor. Yes, junk mail is a pain.

Well, I have to admit that whoever made this has quite the sense of humor. Yes, junk mail is a pain.

92. Would you want your mail from the butt of an AT-AT?

Hey, at least it's better than having to face one in battle. Yes, those things can be destructive as you've seen in the Empire Strikes Back.

Hey, at least it’s better than having to face one in battle. Yes, those things can be destructive as you’ve seen in the Empire Strikes Back.

93. This lobster trap mailbox has a lot of sea life to it.

But it's not going to make the lobster happy, isn't it? Still, wonder if it's a real lobster trap. Probably.

But it’s not going to make the lobster happy, isn’t it? Still, wonder if it’s a real lobster trap. Probably.

94. This mailbox has Batman to the rescue.

You have to admire the person's creativity on this one. Though I'm not sure about the legs.

You have to admire the person’s creativity on this one. Though I’m not sure about the legs.

95. How about putting your mailbox within a tiki hut?

Guess this is made from straw and bamboo if it's not from some replica plastics. Better than the tiki statue one.

Guess this is made from straw and bamboo if it’s not from some replica plastics. Better than the tiki statue one.

96. No one could resist sending mail in this little penguin box.

Yes, it's a cute little penguin mailbox. And it's in an environment you'd probably won't see penguins. At least outside of nature shows.

Yes, it’s a cute little penguin mailbox. And it’s in an environment you’d probably won’t see penguins. At least outside of nature shows.

97. Seems like this mailbox has been caught in a tree.

Then again, that's not really a tree. And the mailbox is supposed to be held up in the branches.

Then again, that’s not really a tree. And the mailbox is supposed to be held up in the branches.

98. So I guess this not only receives mail but also pumps water.

Guess like the brownie box camera, water pumps are obsolete technology used for artistic purposes. Yet, this seems to work.

Guess like the brownie box camera, water pumps are obsolete technology used for artistic purposes. Yet, this seems to work.

99. This manatee mailbox seems all dressed for a luau.

There's someone who seems to dress a manatee mailbox for holidays and special occasions. But I suppose the hula thing is the default mode.

There’s someone who seems to dress a manatee mailbox for holidays and special occasions. But I suppose the hula thing is the default mode.

100. And last, I feel that I can conclude this post with a red caboose.

After all, the caboose is usually the end of the train. So I guess the caboose mailbox fits.

After all, the caboose is usually the end of the train. So I guess the caboose mailbox fits.

The Cinematic Wilderness Survival Guide

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Since Daniel Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe and even before then, survival stories have always been a source of endless entertainment to the masses living in civilization. Today you have survival movies like Castaway and The Revenant along with TV series like Lost and The Walking Dead, and even reality programs like Survivor or stuff from the Discovery Channel. Many of what you see about surviving in the wilderness or devastated urban environment isn’t necessarily what’s going to help you in real life. Reality shows have camera crews and don’t really depict reality anyway. And survival stories that took place in historical times may feature characters that do stuff that violate basic common sense. Here I have a list of survival tips you get from movies and why they’re totally wrong.

It’s likely that you will suddenly end up in a classic survival scenario. (Most people who end up in a classic survival scenario usually do so through a series of bad decisions that, if you don’t take immediate action, you might die. Real survival isn’t about being the toughest and most experienced, but keeping out of those situations through basic common sense. Not to mention, being flexible as well as swallowing stubbornness and pride. For instance, a lot of your classic survival heroes probably wouldn’t be in such situations if they {or someone else} didn’t make the decision to travel to the location in the first place. Still, if you’re fishing in a lake when you see lightning, get off the lake. It’s that simple).

You can live off the land with no problem. (From How to Survive It: “When the settlers landed on Plymouth Rock, they had plenty of experience living off the land (hunting, foraging, farming, etc.) and were well-versed in primitive skills like fire-starting and making the most of natural resources, yet they still nearly starved to death. Today there are fewer wild animals and edible plants and far more people than then, and few people possess even a fraction of the skills that our settlers had. If living off the land is your only plan to sustain yourself and your family, you’re in for some rough, potentially deadly times.”)

A gun is the most important thing you’ll need. (Guns may be great to have when surviving the wilderness or a post-apocalyptic scenario, but they will not help you if you’re thirsty or have a medical emergency. While a gun may protect you from criminals {though not always reliably}, you’re more likely to die of disease or accidents. So unless you’re in a situation similar to Oregon Trail, you’re better off stocking on food and medical supplies before buying a gun).

You don’t need to prepare for survival in a short hike. (Even short hikes can become dire survival situations. The weather may get bad. You might get lost or injured. Always have a few key items with you before you venture into the outdoors like extra clothes, a map, a compass, a flashlight, first aid kit, as well as extra snacks and water. Also, always let someone know where you’re going and when you plan to come back so they could notify a search party to rescue you if you don’t).

If you get into trouble, you can always be lifted to a hospital by helicopter. (Not if the area doesn’t have cell phone reception. Or if there’s severe weather conditions. Or in places where helicopters can’t reach you. If you’re hiking in South America, you will not have a helicopter to rescue you and emergencies must be handled by guides, porters, and other hikers. Some may not be able to speak English. And even if a helicopter rescue is possible, there’s still the matter of getting in touch with someone who can send it).

Space blankets are useless. (From Outdoor Life: “Those Mylar-coated emergency blankets certainly don’t look very warm. How on earth can something no thicker than a trash bag save your life? Well, though the aluminum coating on these blankets is very thin, it is thermal-reflective. In other words, it can redirect infrared energy, which means that it reflects heat. When you are getting cold due to shock or exposure, it’s because the heat you were radiating is lost to the air and not replaced. With a space blanket wrapped around you, however, the moisture in your clothes won’t evaporate {which causes cooling} and you won’t lose as much heat to the air moving around you {limiting convective heat loss}. So you will stay warm when you’re wrapped up in this sheet that looks like tin foil. And since these lifesaving blankets pack down so small and are so cheap, there’s no reason to run around in the bush without carrying a few of them.”)

You can depend on your cell phone to save you. (If you’re miles away from civilization, this might not be the case. Besides, batteries die, reception is spotty, and your phone isn’t invincible. You’re better off being appropriately prepared and letting people know where you’re going and when you’ll return. So if you don’t come back within a certain amount of time, that person can trigger a search and rescue operation for you).

Being able to survive in the wilderness takes a lot of skills and physical fitness. (This isn’t necessarily true because ordinary and unassuming men, women, and children can also survive and have as long as they have the will, the positive-realistic attitude, and the emotional resilience to endure. Also, it helps that you’re smart and use common sense as well as don’t get yourself in a deadly scenario).

Wearing wet clothes is better than no clothes at all. (From Survive All: “Water has a nasty habit of holding on to its temperature for long periods of time, so if you have just fallen through ice and you get out and keep your clothes on, all you are doing is keeping yourself cold. You are better off naked than in wet clothes.” Yeah, probably don’t want to risk getting hypothermia).

Wait a day or more to see if help arrives before starting anything. (Always plan if help isn’t coming though hope it does).

Dead or dormant poison ivy can’t hurt you. (From Backpacker: “Urushiol, the oil in poison ivy that prompts allergic reactions when in contact with skin, remains active for several years after the plant dies. Furthermore, the urushiol is not just in the leaves of the plant, but is also present in the roots and stems. So how do you pinpoint poison ivy when there are no leaves? Luckily, this toxic plant produces aerial roots, making the vines appear “hairy”—a handy sign for shoulder-season hikers.”)

Shelter:

Shelter means coverage. (Adequate shelter has very little to do with coverage and everything to do with protection from the elements. In a hot sunny climate, this means shade. In cold or temperate climate, this means warmth. Poorly built shacks with roofs and walls are a poor way to protect yourself from the cold. Making a small nest that insulates the ground and provides some wind protection vastly recommended before building a roof).

Lean-tos make great shelters. (Yes, they look cool and are easy, but it’s better to go with something that has 4 walls, a doorway, and a roof. And if it’s cold, try to insulate the ground before building a roof.)

During a thunderstorm, it’s best to seek shelter from lightning under a tree. (Since I was a kid, I knew hiding under a tree during a thunderstorm is just absolutely insane. Lightning is attracted to height, pointy objects, and isolation, which are often associated with trees. Also, unlike skyscrapers, towers, and other tall buildings, trees don’t have lightning rods. Best to seek shelter in a home or car. And if these aren’t options, crouch down on the balls of your feet. If you’re in a group do so at least 100 yards from the other members of your party to reduce the risk of being hit together, allowing the others to administer CPR if necessary. Lying flat on the ground might lower your profile even more but it increases your chance of picking up the ground current and it’s not advised).

Shelters should be built from dead materials. (From The Good Survivalist: “This one came from our friends in the ‘green’ survival movement. They are far more concerned that a few trees might get killed than they are about your life. All advice from them should be considered highly suspect. Imagine building your shelter as a big pile of dead leaves and wood. Now imagine having a campfire anywhere near that. Do you really want to climb in there and go to sleep? Nuff’ said.” Chopping down a few trees for a shelter the forest isn’t going to contribute to deforestation much).

Navigation:

You’ll never get lost with a GPS. (From Outdoor Life: “If you can afford one, you should always take a GPS unit with you into the backcountry. These high-tech navigational tools are easy to use, and more important, they always let you know where you are. But they aren’t a fail-safe against getting lost. If you misplace or break the unit, or your batteries die, you’d better have a map and compass (and the knowledge to use them) as a backup. Navigation isn’t just about knowing where you are; it’s about knowing which way to go as well.”)

Always walk your way to safety. (In some situations, conserving energy and hydrating might be your best bet like in the desert. It’s also best that you take 30 minute breaks to let the adrenaline flush out of your system so you can make decisions with a clear frame of mind as well as assess your injuries, which is often overlooked in survival manuals).

It’s always a good idea to climb a tree to look for the trail ahead. (From Getting Out Alive: “Although gaining a high vantage point can give you a better view of things ahead, climbing a tree is both exhausting and dangerous and is not worth the energy expenditure, nor the risk of injury.”)

As long as you can find North, you can navigate to safety. (From Getting Out Alive: “North is meaningless unless you know which direction you must travel to reach safety. Knowing where you are in relation to a safe destination is the only important issue.”)

Always hike through the night to avoid the heat during the day. (From Getting Out Alive: “In hot regions, use the morning hours for hiking, from just after daybreak until the heat comes up. Hunker down during the heat of the day, but do not travel through the night or you risk injury or becoming lost.”)

Always travel swiftly to get out of a survival situation as quickly as possible. (Travel cautiously and avoid injury at all cost. Because suffering an injury might be the very thing that kills you.)

Wildlife:

Holding a baby animal in front of its parents will not bring you any harm. Heck, the adult animals may even let you hold their cubs. (This was in Disney’s Pocahontas. Holding a baby animal in front of its parents will result in an emergency room visit or some time in the ICU if you’re lucky {assuming the animal is large enough like a deer or a bear}. Because doing so will lead its parents to perceive you as a threat and they will attack you. If you value your life, do not go anywhere near baby animals. If you see a helpless baby animal that’s alone for more than 24 hours, malnourished, or sick call animal control if you can. Else, just beat it and leave the animal alone. Sure it might fall prey to predators or the elements, but at least you’ll be alive. Note that what you see happen to Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant was not something most people survived without medical treatment. In fact, quite the contrary {though Leo’s case in that movie can be excused since the real Hugh Glass was attacked by a bear in the 1820s and did survive but it was through sheer dumb luck [because we do know he was killed by Native Americans in 1833]. And it’s unlikely that the bear attacked him that way since it would’ve paralyzed him. Still, while Fitzgerald and Bridger left Glass for dead, they did so because they were so convinced he wouldn’t survive}).

You can always count on the woodland creatures to help you when you’re stranded in the woods. (Sorry, but this isn’t Snow White for crying out loud. Seriously, the best way the woodland creatures could help you is by being your dinner).

Always punch an attacking shark in the nose. (Most people lack the upper body strength to strike a blow powerful enough to stun a shark, especially when punching in the water. Shark attack experts generally recommend clawing the shark in the gills and eyes instead. Because sharks will naturally try to protect their vision and respiration capabilities. A sharp blow or a scratch to either may be enough to scare a shark away. Sharks look for easy prey and most won’t risk safety for a quick meal.)

If a bear approaches you, just play dead. (Maybe if it’s a mother grizzly defending her cubs. But if it’s any other kind of bear {namely a black bear which you’re more likely to encounter in North America}, it might attack you anyway. Your best bet is making yourself look intimidating which can be accomplished by opening your jacket, spreading out your arms, and shouting. Hopefully the bear would be spooked and run away. Also avoid making eye contact with a grizzly or it might consider it a challenge).

When in contact with a bear, the best way to avoid an attack is to out run it. (If you run into a bear, don’t ever try to outrun it. Because you can’t. Bears run at 30mph which is faster than Usain Bolt. Yes, even he can’t outrun a bear, let alone you. Instead, stay where you are. If it’s a black bear, make yourself look big such as opening your coat, holding out your arms over your head, as well as shout and scream until it’s spooked and takes off. If it’s a grizzly, avoid eye contact and back away slowly. If it charges, stand your ground. If it makes physical contact, cover your vitals and play dead. Either way, bring bear or pepper spray).

If you come across a sick or injured animal, try to help it. (Stay the hell away from it or run like hell. Because sick and wounded animals can be very dangerous, especially if they have rabies. Besides, wounded animals can still attack you. Best to call animal control if you can).

Water is a good escape from a bee attack. (I’ve seen this a lot in movies, TV, and cartoons. Nevertheless, despite multiple accounts of people avoiding swarms doing so, they proved to be fruitless since the bees were there waiting when the people came up for air. Instead of running into the water, seek refuge in a car or building. If these options aren’t available, just keep running, especially through a brush or thicket. Bees have been known to pursue people for half a mile and the run will be worth a reprieve).

Wildlife is always your biggest problem. (As long as you don’t do anything to disturb or try to feed them, the animals will not bother you. You’re more likely to encounter a wild animal in more urbanized areas than in the woods. Then again, this might be relevant in Africa, but if your stranded in North America, wildlife is the least of your worries).

Immediately put up protection against animals like wolves. (The best you can protect yourself against an animal is to stay away from It and don’t do anything to piss them off. If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Besides, predators like wolves are more interested in easy prey. A big fire is normally enough).

Garlic repels mosquitoes. (What repels mosquitoes is mosquito repellant like DEET, not garlic.)

Venomous snakes have triangular heads. (A snake’s head shape is irrelevant on whether it’s poisonous or not).

Bears are only active at dawn or dusk. (Bears can be active at any time of the day but are mostly out at dusk).

First Aid:

If you or your friend is bitten by a poisonous snake, cutting an “X” and orally sucking is advised. (Yes, this method was used by 19th century American pioneers which you see in westerns, where it would be appropriate. But like a lot of 19th century medical advice, this is idiotic and disgusting as well as medically worthless. What’s best advised is washing the wound, putting a bandage on it, and seeking medical attention immediately such as calling 911. Because sucking the venom poses a risk for both the victim and the person sucking the poison out {even if one’s careful not the swallow the envenomed blood}. And if there are sores on the mouth, the venom may likely end up in the sucker’s bloodstream. In addition, consider the pathogens present in a person’s mouth. Still, it’s better to prevent poisonous snake bites by simply not putting your hands or feet where you can’t see. Also a dead rattlesnake can still bite you long after it’s been squished on the highway since its bite reflex is still intact for several hours.  In addition, out of the 5600 who get bitten by rattlesnakes in North America, only 5 or 6 died while 30% only experienced a dry bite, meaning there may not be poison in the bite at all).

If CPR doesn’t work, then it’s perfectly fine to strike random hammer fists to the center of a victim’s heart to restart the heart. (This is called a precordial thump, and it’s not a free beating, but a precisely aimed blow delivered by an expert in an attempt to interrupt a life-threatening rhythm if there’s no defibrillator available and can only be attempted once).

To treat frostbite, rub the frozen tissue with snow or immerse it in cold water. (Immerse the tissue in warm water but only when it’s certain the tissue won’t refreeze. Otherwise, doing so will only increase risk of permanent damage just like rubbing it with snow or immersing it in cold water would. You could also use painkillers if available).

If someone is suffering from hypothermia, it’s best that you throw them in hot water. (This would actually cause their core temperature to shoot right up, inviting the colder fluid from the extremities in. Such treatment would make the person even colder or worse mess up their heart. While alcohol can create a quick rush of warmth by dilating blood vessels, the same effect can cause a faster and very dangerous drop in temperature. Also keep in mind about causing excruciating pain or a heart attack. Better to put hot water bottles in both armpits or skin to skin rewarming).

Giving alcohol to someone suffering from hypothermia always keeps them warm. (Alcohol only gives you the illusion of warmth when you’re freezing but actually drops your core temperature. Might make you feel better for a few minutes even though it’s actually killing you faster).

If someone isn’t breathing or if there’s no pulse, slapping your unconscious buddy a couple of times after getting all angry and yelling at them will make them come around. (Best to move them to a place with cell phone reception and call 911).

Treat burns with butter or oil. (Butter or oil will worsen any burn from sunburn to 3rd degree and possibly get it infected. Skin that’s recently burned/still burning is 1st or 2nd degree (like sunburns, contact with a hot object, dropped cigarette on leg, etc.), immerse it in spray or spray it with cool water to stop ongoing damage. If it’s 3rd degree, then try to keep it cool and clean, but call 911 and wait for professionals to arrive rather than using cold running water).

Always remove impaling foreign objects from wounds. (Dr. McCoy does this to Spock in the new Star Trek movie even though he should’ve known better. From TV Tropes: “Generally they’ve smashed all the bits they’re going to smash, and are now acting as a plug on the wound – and an infection can be fought off with antibiotics at the hospital. Pull the plug, and you may be dead in minutes. Barbed weapons might tear more flesh and if they don’t, you’re unlikely to be able to pull it out at the exact angle it went in.” So if you’re in a wilderness area with cell phone reception, just call 911. If not, then get to one).

Bullets should always be removed from gunshot wounds. (Hunting seasons aside, getting shot in the wilderness isn’t very likely to happen in real life. But in movies and TV, you might see this a lot, especially in war or post-apocalypse movies. A bullet can remain undetected inside someone for years and not cause any problems. The only times when a bullet should be removed is if it’s still traveling in the body, its becoming dislodged can cause fatal injury {in which case the doctors want to remove it in a controlled environment rather than it becoming dislodged on its own at random}, or if it’s serving as a source of infection or immune reaction. This despite the fact that firing a bullet heats it to the point that most possibilities of infection would be gone. In fact, getting the bullet out is usually the last thing surgeons bother to do. Also consider the fact that Andrew Jackson was shot close to his heart and lived with that bullet in his chest for decades and he was around during the 19th century).

Is someone is bleeding, always use a tourniquet to stop it, such as from clothing. (This is a very bad idea. As TV Tropes put it, “In real life the clothing will probably stick to the drying blood, causing other problems later when real help arrives. If the tourniquet is left on the limb in question for too long, this will result in the limb becoming necrotic and falling off or getting Compartment Syndrome. This one is subject to a bit of Science Marches On as the US Army, who have been using makeshift tourniquets out of cravats and windlasses {basically bandannas and sticks} for decades, have shown that advances in combat medicine allow a limb to have a tourniquet applied and blood flow completely cut off for up to 2 hours without permanent damage and up to 4 hours while still keeping the limb. This has gained modern tourniquets such as the CAT {Combat Application Tourniquet} a place in the gear of most modern combat soldiers, and indeed, is the US Military’s preferred method of treatment for significant extremity hemorrhage and/or total limb amputation. The current consensus is that when used properly tourniquets work, but should only be used under specific circumstances by professionals unless the situation is that dire. ‘Dire’ in this case meaning that the person is almost certain to die from blood loss before any professional medical aid arrives on site, typically meaning a limb being fully severed.” You’re better off using plain old bandages.)

If someone has consumed something poisonous or infectious, induce vomiting. (If they aren’t already vomiting, just call 911 or get them to a hospital. And if they are, do the same. Supportive treatment begun early often does far more good than trying to purge the substance from the body. Also, in some cases a drug, alcohol, or other overdose can cause unconsciousness and someone vomiting can breathe in their own vomit, complicating potential survival with a nasty case of pneumonia or asphyxiation. You can also call the poison control hotline which can offer expert advice and specific instructions for the particular poison ingested {if known}. However, if these guys say to induce vomiting, this is a situational precaution and shouldn’t be attempted unless it’s known for certain that it’s the right thing to do).

Always give someone a laxative to someone experiencing unknown stomach or intestinal pain. (Laxatives are meant to treat constipation and should only be administered if there’s no lower abdominal pain worse than mild discomfort that has persisted no longer than a week and when the obstruction is only known to be poop. Otherwise, just call 911 and get them to a hospital if that option is available. If not, then just use a signal to get a rescue party, pronto. If they have appendicitis, giving a laxative can lead to a ruptured appendix, horrific peritonitis infection, and possibly death. If they have an immobile object, their entire large intestine, leading to almost to certain death).

Always take dressing off of bleeding wounds and apply new ones. (This is a bad idea since it doesn’t give the blood enough time to clot and possibly removes clots already formed. The correct course is to add new bandaging over that’s already soaked through as needed, and even if you wind up with a huge wad of bandaging that’s unruly, it’s still better than disrupting the clotting process).

Open wounds should immediately be closed in all cases. (Dr. McCoy does this to Spock in the new Star Trek movie, even though he knows this isn’t the best treatment for him {though neither was removing a metal object from him either}. Then you see Leo cauterize a neck wound in The Revenant which is pretty drastic as well as certainly not a safe and sanitary option {yet, since this movie takes place in the 1820s, it can be forgiven. But you shouldn’t try it}. Though to be fair, he didn’t have many options since the wound was close to Spock’s heart and he would’ve bled to death if he hadn’t. However, according to TV Tropes: “While most wounds get cleaned and immediately shut, deep wounds, especially infected ones, often stay open. Treatment of big abscesses or infected wounds often involves opening it, cleaning it and then leaving it open for a few days {with a bandage IN the wound to keep it open and a plaster over it to keep it clean and avoid fluids sipping out}. This allows the tissue to heal from bottom up and the doctors to check on the infection and keep it clean. Instantly sewing it shut would close the hole, inviting bacteria to create a new or even worse infection which could lead to a lethal sepsis {blood poisoning}.” So if you have deep wounds, best call 911 if you can).

Wounds should never get in contact with water unless it’s a burn. (Those who’ve had surgery usually find that saunas and swimming pools are forbidden but showering is okay as long as the wound itself isn’t covered in soap {run water is fine}. In many cases, washing the wound is often encouraged such as when there’s a risk for infection. Certain abscess cases even might involve the patient holding the shower head straight at the wound and using the water pressure to thoroughly clean it).

When someone goes into shock, assume the victim is fine if there’s no blood flowing or anything stuck in them. (From TV Tropes: “Anyone trained in first aid can tell you that shock {the body failing to circulate blood properly} is actually one of the more dangerous threats posed to almost any accident victim. Many cases of shock can stem from what amounts to the body creating errors while responding to stressful stimuli, which means that even a comparatively minor wound {such as a cut on the thumb} can throw a person into shock. Symptoms can be anything from anxiety and confusion to irregular pulse and blackouts, and it’s not unheard of for a patient who at first glance does not appear to have any life-threatening injuries to die from shock simply because the body unintentionally shut itself down. One of the best ways to prevent shock is to simply interact with the patient in a reassuring and calm tone, as well as keeping them warm and ensuring proper blood flow to the head and vital organs {usually achieved by propping up the legs}.”)

If someone is not breathing or there’s no process, provide mouth on mouth and compression CPR. (The purpose of CPR is to buy time until advanced help is available by circulating blood and preventing brain damage from lack of oxygen. And you’re not supposed to give up after a minute or 2 just because they haven’t started breathing on their own, but rather continue until advanced help gets there. It’s also expected for the victim’s ribs to get broken during CPR, something that almost never happens on TV. Still, CPR rarely results in a full recovery and if the person’s heart and breathing have actually stopped to the point of needing it, chances of recovery at all is usually less than 10%. Even if the proper medical care can be brought in time to keep them from outright dying, such patients generally die within 1-2 years. Also, there’s a large chance of permanent brain damage. Not only that, but remember that CPR alone does not revive someone. And do not attempt to do CPR if someone collapses from cyanide poisoning because doing so will end up killing you).

Booze always makes a great wound disinfectant and anesthetic. (Well, rubbing alcohol is great as a disinfectant. But other than that, this advice belongs in the 19th century).

Booze is always great to have when it comes to surviving in the desert. (Sorry but booze can cause dehydration).

Hypothermia only happens in cold climates. (It can happen in wet environments as well as at higher elevations. So stay dry and warm in order to prevent your temperature from dropping to dangerous levels).

Don’t feed a victim of hypothermia. (From Outdoor Life: “Normal shock treatment and hypothermia treatment are different—you don’t, for example, want to feed someone who may be going into shock because he can vomit and choke while unconscious. However, in mild to moderate hypothermia cases, high-calorie foods can be given in small, repeated doses to create metabolic heat in the victim and help him restore his own heat-generating ability.” Unfortunately, shock treatment and hypothermia treatment are practically indistinguishable in Hollywood).

Let a hypothermia victim get some sleep. (From Outdoor Life: “After the shivering, confusion, slurred speech, and clumsiness of hypothermia have manifested, an exposure victim also gets drowsy. This is a serious warning sign because sleep can lead to death. Keep the victim awake as you warm him up.”)

Always use fire to remove an embedded tick. (Since ticks cause frustrating and debilitating illnesses like Lyme disease, there’s a lot of confusion to approach this. The medical community currently advocates taking fine tipped tweezers and gently pulling the tick out by the mouth, which helps avoid releasing as much infected fluid as possible. Grabbing the tick by the body only leads to a higher risk while smothering or applying fire should be avoided as well because these tactics cause infection. After the tick’s removed, wash hands and wound thoroughly after the tick has been removed).

If you suffered a sprained ankle, best to apply warmth immediately. (From Trails.com: “How to treat a badly sprained ankle, which for a hiker or backpacker can be a serious situation when out in the wilderness, has always been subject to myth, with a large portion of the population thinking that warmth should immediately be applied. However, the opposite is true since heat will make the swelling and pain increase and slow down the healing process. If you spend time on trails and out camping, remember the acronym RICE. This stands for Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation. The ankle should be quickly rested and iced if possible or soaked in cold water from a stream. Even snow can be used as a substitute for ice. Ice the ankle for 20 minutes to half an hour and then put a compression bandage such as an elastic wrap on it to give it support. Elevate the affected foot. Repeat this procedure up to four or five times a day until the swelling goes down.”

Water:

If you run out of water, drinking your own pee will keep you hydrated. (From The Clymb: “Your pee probably won’t kill you, but depending on your location, it might do more harm than good. If you are dehydrated in an extremely hot environment, drinking your urine will put unnecessary stress on your kid­neys, which in turn puts unnecessary stress on your body and leads to more overheating. Drink­ing urine is an acceptable short-term solution to dehydration in cooler climates, but is not the best idea in a heatstroke situation. In cases of dehydration com­bined with heat stroke, using the urine to soak a small bandana for evaporative cooling may be more effective.”)

Boiled water is always 100% safe to drink. (While boiling water can kill organisms and germs, it will not clean harmful particulates from it. For instance, no matter how long you boil chemically contaminated water, it won’t be safe to drink. Same goes with stagnant dirty water, too. And there’s a good chance the water you get will have dirt in it so it’s best to filter it out through a clean fabric or leave it to stand until the sediments sink to the water first. And then boil it preferably at 212 degrees Fahrenheit for a minute so the little microbes could die).

You can follow flying birds to find water. (From Outdoor Life: “While some aquatic birds rarely leave the water’s edge, others roam far and wide for food. It’s been said that geese fly toward water at dusk, but this isn’t always the case. They could simply be flying toward a known clearing to spend the night. Since we have no way of knowing a bird’s plans for the evening, we can’t rely on it to lead us anywhere.”)

Drink raw blood to survive and keep hydrated. (From Outdoor Life: “Sure, there’s water in blood. And some of the traditional cattle cultures of Africa still consume cattle blood with milk, but this is done for protein and minerals rather than hydration. While the consumption of animal blood has helped to keep survivors alive, the risk may not justify the gain. Drinking raw blood could mean you’re consuming pathogens.”)

You can keep hydrated by sucking from a stone. (From Outdoor Life: “This old survival trick has been practiced across the globe. The idea is that sucking on a stone causes saliva to flow. Obviously, you’re not sucking water from the stone, so there is no real gain. Most calamitously, you could even suck on the stone too hard and inhale it, which could cause you to choke.”)

Running water is safe to drink. (From Survival Cache: “Don’t count on it.  Remember it came from somewhere and the source or what it came in contact survival water with between the source and reaching your location could be suspect.  Typically if you have to choose between running water and stagnate water always default to the former but make sure you also treat and purify the water before you consume it.”)

Drinking saltwater in small amounts is safe. (Drinking saltwater in any amount will lead to further dehydration and death more quickly than if you went without water at all. However, you can use saltwater to cool your body. But drink it, never).

Water found in natural depressions is safe to drink. (It has all the risks associated with stagnate groundwater and run off. So it should be treated before drinking).

Never drink the water. (Because water is an important resource if you want to survive, it’s best you drink it. But please filter and purify it before you do so. Yet, if you don’t treat it, it’s likely you’ll be rescued before it becomes anything serious. So it’s better to offset dehydration with germ filled water than to take no water at all. Doctors can fix illnesses but they can’t fix death).

Only standing water is dangerous. (With running water, it’s best you know what the source is before you drink it. Because even that can be dangerous. But filter and purify it first).

Food:

You can survive in the wilderness by eating raw meat or fish. (Leo DiCaprio eats raw fish and buffalo does this in The Revenant. To be fair, the real Hugh Glass lived during the 1820s when most people didn’t know anything about germs so his actions could be forgiven. However, most of the time eating raw meat and fish, is generally not advised due to high risk of pathogens that could cause foodborne illness. Now there are some raw fish that are safe for consumption but they mostly come from saltwater environments and contain pathogens not compatible with the human body. Not only that, Glass eats from a buffalo that’s already been cut open so how long the animal is dead is a big concern here. Still, when it comes to meat consumption, always kill and cook it before eating it).

Always look for food first. (While starvation can certainly kill, it’s said humans can live up for 6 weeks before starving to death. That’s plenty of time for someone to figure out to missing and find you so you’ll probably be rescued before you starve. Injury, illness, poisoning, or exposure are much more likely to result in death than starvation. Besides, hunting and trapping prey are hit and miss activities, often producing nothing and simply end up expending energy and risking injury or illness. Instead, water, warmth, and protection should be top priorities as well as conserving energy and avoiding injury. Then again, people in movies and TV usually tend to be in significantly more dire circumstances than most modern day folks in their lives. So them finding food is more understandable because it’s part of a long term survival strategy. Fiction survival stories rarely ever pertain to short-term situations).

Plants are a good source of food in a survival situation. (Unless you have an edible wild plant guide with you, are a botanist, or know the Universal Edibility Test, only eat the ones you’re already familiar with. Else, you could end up like Foxface in The Hunger Games. If you need to find food, it’s safer to stick with eating mammals, freshwater fish, birds, or insects. Besides, there are a lot of deadly plants out there and those considered safe to eat don’t provide a lot of calories or nutrients anyway. As for wild mushrooms, for the love of God, don’t even think about it. So for all you vegetarians and vegans out there, if you find yourself stranded, your best solution is to eat meat or die).

You can quickly hunt and fish for food where game is plentiful. (As someone who’s been raised watching nature shows, I know for a fact that this isn’t true for a lot of predatory animals. And they go for days without getting a meal, even the babies. Even with the best fishing gear and hunting equipment, hunting and fishing still takes patience, practice, and experience. Under survival conditions when you’re not at your best, these meals may never arrive. Also, hunting might make you more prone to serious injury or get you killed. Your best bet is to set many simple deadfall traps, snares, and shallow fish containment pens to hopefully catch yourself a meal while you tend to other immediate matters like securing safe drinking water).

You could eat anything animals eat. (Despite our shared biology thanks to evolution, there’s still a massive difference between humans and other animals. Some animals might eat plants that are safe for human consumption, yet these same critters could eat plants that are dangerous to us. Birds eat a variety of berries, many of which could either nourish or kill us. Even mammals like squirrels who normally eat nuts perfectly safe for human cuisine, can munch on mushrooms and nuts that are toxic to humans. So just because an animal can eat it, doesn’t mean you can. This is especially if it’s poison ivy, which many animals do eat).

Black and blue berries are never poisonous. (Most black and blue berries aren’t poisonous but if you can’t positively identify a berry, don’t eat it. For instance, pokeberries and Virginia Creeper berries are lethal. Foxface learned the hard way when she ingested the Nightlock. And Peeta almost made the same mistake until Katniss told him that they were poisonous).

Fire:

Always stock up on matches. (Lighters are smaller, cheaper, and save more space than matches, taking long term costs to account. Besides, if you’re worried about your lighter getting wet, just get a magnesium fire starter. Seriously, you don’t want to end up with the two match situation like Rambo).

Anyone could start a fire by rubbing 2 sticks or striking 2 stones together. (Relying solely on friction to start a fire will not help you in areas with high humidity. Even under the best conditions, friction fire making is a challenge that take patience, practice, as well as luck, and is not reliable for most people. One guy who had 50 years experience in this technique, said it took him a day and a half to do this by sticks. As for stones, well, this only works with flint or quartz as well as need to create a groove in the one you’re holding still. Most experts recommend carrying at least 3 firestarters like storm-proof matches, spark rod, and lighter at all times).

Making a fire should be a top priority. (Yes, fire is important but there are few situations it would take precedence over shelter).

Build a fire in a cave for warmth. (Heat causes rock expansion. Rock expansion leads to breakage. When rocks break overhead in a cave, it’s cave-in. So lighting a cave fire is not a good idea. Rather make a fire outside the cave).

Big fires always beat shelter. (From Outdoor Life: “Large-log fires have kept people alive in the cold, but that doesn’t mean you can afford to skip building a shelter. What if it rains or becomes really windy? You never want to sleep out in the open if you can help it. Take the time to build a shelter. It will pay you back every time.”)

Use a thumbnail to test wood. (From Outdoor Life: “You may have heard that if you can dent a piece of wood with your thumbnail, the wood is suitable for starting a friction fire. This myth just won’t seem to go away, but it doesn’t hold up. Some denser woods are fine for friction fires, and are some softer woods don’t work at all. When the thumbnail test works, it isn’t an affirmation­—it’s a coincidence.”)

Nose grease is the perfect fire starter. (From Outdoor Life: “Is there enough oil on the side of your nose to lubricate the top of a bow-drill spindle? I don’t know about you, but I was never that greasy, even as a teenager. Furthermore, when you’re trying to build a friction fire, you’ll produce more sweat than grease on your face, and sweat doesn’t help.”)

Hardwood is best for friction fires. (From Outdoor Life: “Just because oak is a great firewood doesn’t mean it works for friction fire. Oak’s ignition temperature and density are not useful in friction-fire drills or boards. Instead, use soft woods that are non-resinous. Cedar, basswood, willow, and cottonwood will serve you much better than oak or other typical firewoods.”)

Wet matches work when dried. (From Outdoor Life: “Nope. The chemicals in match heads are very vulnerable to moisture. On typical safety matches, the package will have a striking surface that is made from a gritty material such as powdered glass mixed with phosphorus. The head of the match is similarly made with grit, but it also contains sulfur and an oxidizer. When you strike a match, the friction of the glass powder grinding together creates a small amount of heat. This warmth converts the phosphorus into white phosphorus, which begins to catch fire. If match heads are exposed to enough moisture, the careful chemical balance is changed and they simply won’t light. Invest in some waterproof matches if you’re heading someplace wet. Or keep your matches in a waterproof container.”)

Use an 8-sided bow drill to start a fire. (From Outdoor Life: “At some point, using an octagonal drill became popular. The conceit is that the edges help the drill grip the bow string in more places, resulting in more friction. But these sharp edges end up shredding the cord and causing it to vibrate horribly, while failing to grip the string any better than a round drill would.”)

Breaking a flashlight bulb and using the coil is a great way to start a fire. (From The Good Survivalist: “This is a method I’ve seen by which you can break the bulb of your flashlight, and then use the coil inside to light a fire. Simply put… give it a shot in your backyard and you’ll find that it’s great at destroying flashlights but terrible at actually starting fires! Recommendation… bring a lighter, and use your flashlight for… LIGHT!”)

Sitting by the fire is the best way to dry your clothes. (From Getting Out Alive: “Wet clothing literally sucks the warmth out of your body, so get out of the wet things and cover up with something dry while you dry your clothing by the fire.”)

Lakes, Rivers, and Other Bodies of Water:

Always swim parallel to the shore in a rip current. (From The Clymb: “Swimming parallel to the shore is a good way to escape a rip current that pulls straight out. Unfortunately, not all rip currents flow directly out to sea. In a longshore rip current, or a diagonal rip current, swimming parallel to the shore could tire a distressed swimmer to the point of drowning. Instead, if caught in a rip, swim perpendicular to the flow of the rip in the same direc­tion as the prevailing wind or prevailing ocean current. If at any point you feel like you are swimming upstream, you’re doing it wrong. Like all survival situations, avoiding fatigue and making calm, rational decisions increases your chance of survival.”)

If you’re lost the best thing to is to follow a river or stream to find civilization. (The best thing to do if you’re lost is to stay where you are unless necessary. From Survive All: “While a river can lead to human life, it can sometimes take weeks or more to get there, while meanwhile you are completely invading a search squad trying to find you. Survival on the go is also much harder then stationary survival; you tend to spend too much time traveling than working to survive. Stay in one spot, survive, wait for help to arrive.” Getting Out Alive adds: “Some waterways run their course for hundreds of miles without bumping into civilization, especially in the wilder parts of the world. And following a stream can sometimes be exceedingly difficult and dangerous.”)

Take off your boots before crossing a river, stream or lake so they won’t weigh you down. (From Getting Out Alive: “The greater risk is that of suffering injury to your feet while crossing a body of water. Keep boots on to protect feet, ‘cause you’ll need them to continue your trek.”)

Forest Areas:

If you’re lost in the woods, look for moss on trees as it only grows on the north side. (If you’re lost in the woods, your best bet is following signs of previous human activity {assuming that you don’t have a cell phone, GPS, or a compass on you first. Or if there’s no park or forest ranger around. Or if you don’t have any electronic equipment on you at any time}. If there are no footprints, then staying where you are and sending a signal is a sensible option as well like building a fire, using a whistle, signal fire, or beacon. You could even go to the closest place where there’s light like near a body of water. Using the sunshine as a way to find the direction is a good idea as well. As for the moss part, though it does grow better on the north side, it can grow on any side if the tree’s shaded or near water. So it’s not true. Following the myth could send you in the wrong direction or make you more lost. Field and Stream says that Aspens that exude a powdery natural sunscreen that will whiten your palms are a better indicator as well).

Desert:

If you’re dying of thirst in the desert, ingesting cactus is always the best solution. (From The Clymb: “So your car broke down in the desert. It’s miles to the nearest gas station. Your cell phone doesn’t have reception. You don’t have any water in your car. There’s no one around, and you are very, very thirsty. Now you chance upon a cactus. I’m saved, you think. I’ll just lop the top off this here prickly pear and go to town. Not so fast, partner. The liquid inside a cactus isn’t pure water and is actually a highly alkaline, noxious fluid. Chances are, if you drink from a cactus you will get very sick, and vomiting is one way to ensure you dehydrate faster. You can drink from a barrel cactus, but only one specific type, and unless you’re extremely into cacti botany, you’re better off conserving your energy or seeking out a purer water source.” It’s more recommended that walking downhill until you find wash and following it downstream until you find some areas where the water might’ve gathered. Still, don’t forget to purify it).

The first thing to do in the desert is to find water, even in the afternoon. (You’ve probably seen the guy on his knees crawling through the desert in the hot sun struggling to find water or die of thirst. However, that guy is an idiot and is likely to die within a few hours in real life. Trying to find water in the desert will just tax your body to the limits, especially during the afternoon heat. Your best strategy to survive in the desert is holing up in the shade. If you do run out of water, find a north facing boulder or canyon, sit in its shade, keep covered to prevent evaporative sweat loss, stay off hot ground by sitting on your pack or a pile of debris, and only move around during the cooler hours of the morning or evening. It also helps if there are wildlife and vegetation nearby like trees. And sometimes dry river beds may have water below the surface, so you might to check for moisture there, too. So if you need water, better search for it when the temperature drops. Besides, you’ll be rescued if you told someone where you’re going to be anyway).

Always ration your water in the desert. (From The Clymb: “Rationing your water or food is great and all, but if you are on the verge of death today, having water three days from now isn’t going to provide much help. People can survive for over two days without water in one hundred degree heat. The most important survival technique in this instance is to remember to avoid unnecessary exertion. Finding shade, drinking until you are reasonably hydrated (clearish urine), and reserving physical exer­tion for night hours are the most effective ways of staving off dehydration and heat stroke. Rationing water while running around in the heat is often more dangerous than laying low and hydrating as much as possible.” So while you certainly should ration water in the desert, you should try to conserve water you already have inside your body by laying low in the shade instead of venturing out in the hot sun during the afternoon. But if you’re on the verge of heat exhaustion or dying of thirst, drink up now in the shade because your body doesn’t care if you get thirsty later. Rationing water and pushing on in the hot sun will only help to cause heat stroke, which as killed people before running out of water has).

Use a solar still to get drinking water in the desert. (Building a solar still consists of digging a hole in the ground, placing a container in the middle, covering the hole with clear plastic, and weighing the plastic down in the middle so the so the condensation drips into the container. Yes, this is a good idea, assuming that the location in question has a higher humidity content as well as groundwater. You will not find either in the desert. You’ll sweat more than you get if you build one of these things there).

Cold Times and Climates:

It’s easy to survive from hypothermia after being carried down a freezing river, sometimes after being submerged. (Sorry, but while Hugh Glass did survive a bear mauling {which happened in May 1823, not in the winter}, he would most surely die from hypothermia after being carried off in that freezing stream).

If it’s very cold, move to higher ground. (Yes, warm air rises while cold air sets is consistent with thermodynamics. Creek bottoms and hollows are cold air sinks. However, unless you’re in either, moving to higher ground when it’s cold goes against what anyone would learn in basic geology. Higher elevation areas generally tend to be colder if you account for the wind chill factor. Hell, you don’t even need to know about the wind chill factor to figure this out. A picture depicting a snow capped mountain in spring should make it obvious to anybody. Besides, heat from fire will be carried away faster the higher you are. So if it’s cold, best to stay low unless there’s a flood).

If it’s available, consume snow and ice for hydration. (Yes, snow and ice is made from water. But doing so will lower your body temperature which can lead to hypothermia and waste energy. Best you melt it and let it cool to a moderate temperature before drinking it).

All base layers work equally well in cold weather. (From Outdoor Life: “Not true. Cotton kills—or, at least, could lead to hypothermia if you rely on it as your primary base layer in cold weather. It’s a great fabric to wear around the house, and it has great applications in hot, dry climates. But once cotton gets wet, it loses its insulating properties. Before you even break a sweat, normal skin moisture will soak into the cotton fibers and start to cool your body through conduction. These fibers can hold up to 27 times their weight in water and then store that moisture up to eight times longer than synthetics or wool. This doesn’t just leave you feeling clammy—it steals vital heat from your core. If it’s cold enough for long johns, then it’s too cold for cotton.”)

Always try to dig yourself out of an avalanche. (Unless you’re only partially buried from the waist down, you will not be able to do so. Because being overtaken by a tumbling slab of snow is like being entombed in concrete, you can’t freaking move. Struggling to get free will only expedite the threat of asphyxiation. But if the snow is still moving, swim out of it facing downhill and try to create an air pocket by placing your hands and arms in front of your face while you work to get out. Still, you should always travel into avalanche country with a partner as well as have search beacons, probes, and shovels handy. The group involved should never be on the same avalanche prone slope at the same time because if everyone gets caught, there will be no one left to attempt a rescue. Also, take an avalanche safety course before going there so you can learn how to avoid triggering slides as well as what to do if you or your friends are caught in one).

Urban Disaster Scenarios:

In the event of a major disaster or war, flee the city and live off the land. (This might not be the best answer or even possible {for instance, had Adrien Brody’s character tried to do this in The Pianist instead of going into hiding, he would’ve been shot, blown up, or carted off to a Nazi death camp}. Sure surviving in the wilderness may be possible but most people have no idea how difficult it would be. This would mean having to hunt from sunup to sundown, sometimes into the night to find enough food so you’d have the energy to do it the next day. Only a good size group of experienced farmers and hunters would make it while most humans would slowly starve to death. If you have to leave, do it during an evacuation).

Urban survival is the same as wilderness survival. (Urban survival focuses more on safety and surveillance than hunting and camping. Special items in the former pack include pry bars and destruction tools, serpentine belt and fix-a-flat, bolt cutters, city maps, knee pads and gloves, dust or gas masks, crank or solar radio, monoculars, lock-picking kit, and assortment of weapons and self-defense tools).

If people remain in the city when the shit hits the fan, they will die either through starvation or killing each other. (Yes, people in the city are in more danger from war and terrorism. But it’s better if people band together to defend their area until order is restored. Whereas people in the country would be more in danger from criminals, looking for easy, isolated targets. They’ll also be the last to get supplies when trucks start moving again. Besides, many cities in Europe, China, Russia, and Japan had the living shit bombed out of them during WWII while their inhabitants still stayed despite the hell they’ve been through).

After the shit hits the fan in a city, it’s every man for himself. (While the media does tend to focus on looters and rioters after a disaster like Hurricane Katrina, it has more to do with ratings than anything. Hollywood also tends to portray survivalists as lone nuts who live in the country and shoot anyone who approaches their homestead. In reality, criminals only represent a very small portion of the population. Besides, most people tend to rely one another as well as work together to survive. WWII is a good example of this, particularly if you’re talking about the 1940 British Blitz).

It doesn’t hurt to brag about your preparations. (From Survival Expertise: “Sometimes this is hard to resist. You spend a lot of time thinking about prepping, saving up, looking for good deals, gathering supplies, etc., and it’s hard not to be proud of your efforts. And what do we do when we’re proud of something? We tell people about it. But in this case, you must only tell people you trust completely. Otherwise, someone somewhere is liable to say, ‘Hey, remember such-and-such from work who has food and supplies stockpiled? Let’s find out where he/she lives.’ Hunger can turn people into animals. If they are desperate enough, they will do anything to get your food.”)

Tap water is always safe after a natural disaster or war. (Tap water can become unsafe after natural disasters or in a combat zone when pipes are damaged and contaminants leak into them. So it’s better to purify it).

Always shoot looters on sight. (You see this a lot in movies. From Survival Expertise: “We’ve all seen thoselooters will be shot signs, but there are three reasons why this is a bad idea: 1) It advertises the fact that you have guns. If they see this, they may try to sneak in and ambush you. 2) If you shoot at them, they might shoot back. A few supplies aren’t worth your life. 3) After law and order is restored, you could be charged with murder. In fact, lawyers could use your sign to claim premeditation. Now to be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t defend yourself with guns. I’m saying you should wait until someone is actually attacking you. Shooting looters on sight is not self defense.”)

The Camping World of Tents and Campers

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Of course, when it comes to staying in the great outdoors, camping has been a long tradition whether it be at your national parks, state parks, or at some privately owned resort. And chances are, if you’re not sleeping under the stars, campers are probably going to stay in some sort of shelter like a tent or camper. If you live in southwest Pennsylvania, then I highly suggest you take some sort of shelter with you because you never know when it might rain. Honestly, it rains a lot in the summer in these parts. Hell, it rains all year round. Nevertheless, when you look at some outdoor area, you’re bound to find tents and campers of all shapes and sizes. Unfortunately, setting up any of them is not nearly as easy as erecting a tent up in Harry Potter. And not nearly as luxurious either (seriously, the Weasley tent looks like something straight out of Lawrence of Arabia, with plenty of room as well as carpets and furniture). Mostly because we muggles don’t have access to magic. But that doesn’t stop me from seriously wanting one. Still, that doesn’t stop me from finding all kinds of unusual tents and campers on Pinterest that I decided to do a post separate from the outdoor gear. So for your reading pleasure, enjoy.

1, This wooden camper comes all set with all the amenities.

It's also very compact since it comes with an air conditioner and a roof. And to think it seemed rather small.

It’s also very compact since it comes with an air conditioner and a roof. And to think it seemed rather small.

2. With this tent, you can almost be among the trees.

Because it's shaped like an evergreen tree. However, this doesn't mean it will blend in with the forest. Because it won't.

Because it’s shaped like an evergreen tree. However, this doesn’t mean it will blend in with the forest. Because it won’t.

3. This tent can be set on top of your car and in high places.

I didn't know they had tents like that in the 1950s. Guess this couple really wanted to save space at their campsite. Or maybe they just wanted the view.

I didn’t know they had tents like that in the 1950s. Guess this couple really wanted to save space at their campsite. Or maybe they just wanted the view.

4. Who knew that you could camp out in a bubble?

Nevertheless, I wouldn't recommend you to undress in it due to its transparency. Still, it looks pretty cool.

Nevertheless, I wouldn’t recommend you to undress in it due to its transparency. Still, it looks pretty cool.

5. Perhaps setting a tent up from a tree would be easier.

Maybe but it doesn't seem to have a lot of room. Then again, it may not take much time to set up.

Maybe but it doesn’t seem to have a lot of room. Then again, it may not take much time to set up.

6. Those looking for a more rustic homey camping place might want to go with this camper.

You have to admire the front window and door on this thing. Very welcoming if you get my drift.

You have to admire the front window and door on this thing. Very welcoming if you get my drift.

7. With this camper, you might want to go with an open dining option.

Then again, it tends to resemble an open bar. But you get the idea.

Then again, it tends to resemble an open outdoor bar. But you get the idea.

8. For privacy in the wilderness, these camping stalls will suit you just fine.

Yes, these tents exist. But you can use one for going to the bathroom and one for taking a shower in. If you have the right equipment.

Yes, these tents exist. But you can use one for going to the bathroom and one for taking a shower in. If you have the right equipment.

9. Could you imagine camping in a shell or cocoon? Now you can.

Wonder how you set up a tent like this. Seems like it would be rather easy to bungle up.

Wonder how you set up a tent like this. Seems like it would be rather easy to bungle up. Comes solar powered, too.

10. There’s nothing like the camping experience in the great outdoors like sleeping in a tent camper shopping cart.

Now that just can't be comfortable. Seriously, you have to wonder if this guy sleeps being curled into a ball in there. Still, it's funny.

Now that just can’t be comfortable. Seriously, you have to wonder if this guy sleeps being curled into a ball in there. Still, it’s funny.

11. Ever thought about camping in a box?

Well, these two seem to in a box tent. Theirs even has a door, window, and table.

Well, these two seem to in a box tent. Theirs even has a door, window, and table.

12. Yes, I know this camper seems a bit lopsided.

However, I don't think it's been in a wreck because it seems designed that way. So perhaps we shouldn't judge on appearances.

However, I don’t think it’s been in a wreck because it seems designed that way. So perhaps we shouldn’t judge on appearances.

13. Now that must be an unusual hollow log.

Oh, wait, it's a log tent. Yeah, I kind of thought something didn't seem quite off. Still, it doesn't stand out much in brown.

Oh, wait, it’s a log tent. Yeah, I kind of thought something didn’t seem quite off. Still, it doesn’t stand out much in brown.

14. With a tent like this, you can literally sleep in a tree.

Yes, this resembles an abnormally large windowed punching bag. But I assure you, it's a tent.

Yes, this resembles an abnormally large windowed punching bag. But I assure you, it’s a tent.

15. With a mini nautic sleeper, you can now camp out on the water.

However, make sure you keep it well anchored so it won't float away. And make sure you don't decide to camp in some marina in Florida during hurricane season.

However, make sure you keep it well anchored so it won’t float away. And make sure you don’t decide to camp in some marina in Florida during hurricane season.

16. This RV comes solar powered.

So if you have to camp in the desert, this will help you get through it. Which begs the question, why would you want to camp in the desert?

So if you have to camp in the desert, this will help you get through it. Which begs the question, why would you want to camp in the desert?

17. This tent comes in handy for providing shelter for your bike.

Yes, this is an ideal biker tent indeed since it provides a place to store a motorcycle. Still, seems to make motorcycle gangs seem less badass for some reason.

Yes, this is an ideal biker tent indeed since it provides a place to store a motorcycle. Still, seems to make motorcycle gangs seem less badass for some reason.

18. This tent apparently hangs from a tree.

Yet, unlike the last tent I just showed you, it at least has a flatter surface. Wonder how long it takes to set up.

Yet, unlike the last tent I just showed you, it at least has a flatter surface. Wonder how long it takes to set up.

19. Who knew that you can camp under a dome?

Yes, these are dome tents. And yes, I have no idea how they're set up. But they do look quite cool.

Yes, these are dome tents. And yes, I have no idea how they’re set up. But they do look quite cool.

20. Kayak by day, tent by night.

I know people are scratching their heads thinking how could this tent exist. But it does and it must be expensive as hell.

I know people are scratching their heads thinking how could this tent exist. But it does and it must be expensive as hell.

21. With a tent like this, you’ll have your campsite set up in no time.

This is a pop up tent and the pictures show you how to set one up. Seems easy until you have to peg it down.

This is a pop up tent and the pictures show you how to set one up. Seems easy until you have to peg it down.

22. Ever imagined you can sleep in a tent camper like the Sydney Opera House? Now you can.

Okay, it doesn't really look like the Sydney Opera House. But it does have all the cozy fixtures you can't resist.

Okay, it doesn’t really look like the Sydney Opera House. But it does have all the cozy fixtures you can’t resist.

23. With a camping doughnut, experience a whole new kind of cozy spaces.

Now that's a very large tent. Not sure if that would be comfortable to stay in. But you get the idea.

Now that’s a very large tent. Not sure if that would be comfortable to stay in. But you get the idea.

24. Cinchi presents the ultimate pop up tent.

Comes with a solar power pack and LED lighting. Fits 2-4 people.

Comes with a solar power pack and LED lighting. Fits 2-4 people.

25. For self-contained shelter in the great outdoors, this canopy cot tent has got you covered.

Just make sure you put the cot outside before you set it up. Wonder if it's comfy though.

Just make sure you put the cot outside before you set it up. Wonder if it’s comfy though.

26. This bubble tent seems quite cozy when inflated.

Yes, this is another bubble tent. But at least this one has a place where you can change your clothes.

Yes, this is another bubble tent. But at least this one has a place where you can change your clothes. Unlike the last one.

27. At night, you can be sure to find this tent if you need to pee.

Because this one apparently glows in the dark or lights from the inside. Either way, seems stunning.

Because this one apparently glows in the dark or lights from the inside. Either way, seems stunning.

28. With large tents, you can’t go wrong with the teepee maze.

I know it seems like a tunnel. But you have to wonder what it looks from the inside.

I know it seems like a tunnel. But you have to wonder what it looks from the inside.

29. With this tent, you don’t have to worry about finding a secluded bathing spot again.

This is a portable camp shower as you can see. So if you want a place for your portable shower, it's got you covered.

This is a portable camp shower as you can see. So if you want a place for your portable shower, it’s got you covered.

30. Instead of camping in a hippie van, how about a hippie van tent?

Yet, it kind of looks ridiculous. But I have to admit that it's quite clever even if the designer might've been on something.

Yet, it kind of looks ridiculous. But I have to admit that it’s quite clever even if the designer might’ve been on something.

31. This hammock tent will provide you with the quality self-contained space you need.

I might've shown you something like this in my outdoor post. But I think it deserves a recap for this one. For obvious reasons.

I might’ve shown you something like this in my outdoor post. But I think it deserves a recap for this one. For obvious reasons.

32. You can wear this tent/sleeping bag/jacket as long as you please.

I know this is a rather ridiculous tent. But in the wilderness looking like an idiot is kind of the least of your worries.

I know this is a rather ridiculous tent. But in the wilderness looking like an idiot is kind of the least of your worries.

33. How about camp in some log cabin this year?

Oh, wait, that's a log cabin tent. But somehow, you can almost mistake it for the real thing.

Oh, wait, that’s a log cabin tent. But somehow, you can almost mistake it for the real thing.

34. This tent comes with so much room to spare.

This is a 10 room tent as you can see inside. So it's perfect for scouting trips to a degree.

This is a 10 room tent as you can see inside. So it’s perfect for scouting trips to a degree. Or MASH.

35. A pyramid teepee should set your campsite right.

Well, it's structured like a teepee by shaped like a pyramid. What more can I say? Also includes windows.

Well, it’s structured like a teepee by shaped like a pyramid. What more can I say? Also includes windows.

36. For beach bound surfers, this tent is just for you.

From Gadget Him: "Pack a surf and camp into one with this delectably compact and innovative surf tent design. The inner sleeping pod is an inflatable design that makes the tent non-bulky and easy-carry. Give your impulsiveness a free reign with this surf tent!"

From Gadget Him: “Pack a surf and camp into one with this delectably compact and innovative surf tent design. The inner sleeping pod is an inflatable design that makes the tent non-bulky and easy-carry. Give your impulsiveness a free reign with this surf tent!”

37. Nothing looks better than a tent on top of a jeep.

Sure it might be a home covered in canvas. But if I was on an African expedition, I want a tent like this.

Sure it might be a home covered in canvas. But if I was on an African expedition, I want a tent like this.

38. How about a nip at the Irish pub?

Yes, this is an inflatable Irish pub tent. May not give you authentic Irish cuisine. But it sure has the look nailed flat.

Yes, this is an inflatable Irish pub tent. May not give you authentic Irish cuisine. But it sure has the look nailed flat.

39. This tent is sure to have you fully booked.

Since it's shaped like a Natural World book. Get it? Cool though.

Since it’s shaped like a Natural World book. Get it? Cool though.

40. This tent is guaranteed to give you a taste of home.

Yes, it's a tent shaped like a house. I'm sure you can't see much through the windows. And I'm positive it won't withstand the Big Bad Wolf. Or will it?

Yes, it’s a tent shaped like a house. I’m sure you can’t see much through the windows. And I’m positive it won’t withstand the Big Bad Wolf. Or will it?

41. With this tent, you can just put it up a tree and watch it unfold.

Unlike the other tree tent I showed you, you don't set it down with ropes. Also called the Trepee.

Unlike the other tree tent I showed you, you don’t set it down with ropes. Also called the Trepee.

42. This decagon tent spreads in all directions.

Of course, it takes up a lot of space and is perhaps a pain in the ass to pitch. But it looks pretty cool.

Of course, it takes up a lot of space and is perhaps a pain in the ass to pitch. But it looks pretty cool.

43. Now this is the tent well suited for camping in the asphalt jungle.

Guess this was created for protestors of Occupied Wall Street. Then again, it definitely looks like a car.

Guess this was created for protestors of Occupied Wall Street. Then again, it definitely looks like a car.

44. Those who like the London Metro might enjoy camping in this tent.

Who knew they'd make a tent out of a subway? Guess they'll probably have one of the Hogwarts Express sometime soon.

Who knew they’d make a tent out of a subway? Guess they’ll probably have one of the Hogwarts Express sometime soon.

45. The Temper Fly Solar-Powered Tent can generate its own solar energy.

This tent is said to be tested by the US Army and could power so many gadgets. So it's kind of easy to see why.

This tent is said to be tested by the US Army and could power so many gadgets. So it’s kind of easy to see why.

46. RV or 2 cars stacked on each other?

Actually it's an RV. But yeah, it's bound to attract rather confused onlookers.

Actually it’s an RV. But yeah, it’s bound to attract rather confused onlookers.

47. Didn’t know that a camper can come with an open patio.

Guess this is a vintage design. Still, wouldn't mind having something like it.

Guess this is a vintage design. Still, wouldn’t mind having something like it. Talk about dining on the roof of your car.

48. This bike tent is well suited for cyclists on the go.

It's quite small but it can be pitched on the bike in no time. Not sure if I'd like that.

It’s quite small but it can be pitched on the bike in no time. Not sure if I’d like that.

49. For some people, the camper is their castle.

No, I don't know if the Victorians had campers like that. But if they did, it would pretty much look like it.

No, I don’t know if the Victorians had campers like that. But if they did, it would pretty much look like it.

50. Why stop at a log cabin when you can take it with you?

Well, that's one way of making the most of it. Wonder if the chimney actually works.

Well, that’s one way of making the most of it. Wonder if the chimney actually works.

51. Here’s a nice place to camp in the tree tops.

Sure it might be a hammock tent with a ladder. But I guess the view was worth it.

Sure it might be a hammock tent with a ladder. But I guess the view was worth it.

52. Guess this tent has a circular disposition.

Yeah, I know it's of a sphere and it's hung from trees. But it's a tent so it goes on the post.

Yeah, I know it’s of a sphere and it’s hung from trees. But it’s a tent so it goes on the post.

53. Ever wish your camper could be your home away from home?

Looks like this person took the concept to a whole another level. It even has a porch and steps.

Looks like this person took the concept to a whole another level. It even has a porch and steps.

54. Take a look at this old timey RV.

This was one of the first RV's out there. Made in 1926. I know it looks ridiculous. But I didn't design the thing.

This was one of the first RV’s out there. Made in 1926. I know it looks ridiculous. But I didn’t design the thing.

55. This RV is said to have a real mean caboose.

And it certainly resembles a caboose all right. Yeah, someone must really like to tinker.

And it certainly resembles a caboose all right. Yeah, someone must really like to tinker.

56. This tent could be easily pitched any time on the open road.

Yes, this tent can be pulled by a truck or car. I know it's weird. But that's why it's on this post.

Yes, this tent can be pulled by a truck or car. I know it’s weird. But that’s why it’s on this post.

57. Nothing beats camping on the roof of your car.

And here someone managed to pitch a rooftop tent. Yes, these things exist.

And here someone managed to pitch a rooftop tent. Yes, these things exist.

58. When it comes to camping, there’s only one camper to rule them all.

Yes, some one decorated a camper to look like Bag End from the Shire. I know it's perhaps one of the geekiest things one can ever do.

Yes, some one decorated a camper to look like Bag End from the Shire. I know it’s perhaps one of the geekiest things one can ever do.

59. Perhaps this shows what it’s like to camp during the Atomic Age.

Actually that might supposed to resemble a nuke. But it kind of reminds me of a fish.

Actually that might supposed to resemble a nuke. But it kind of reminds me of a fish. Charming.

60. This RV is the ultimate tiki machine.

Might be well suited for beach trips or Hawaii. But everywhere else? Not so much.

Might be well suited for beach trips or Hawaii. But everywhere else? Not so much.

61. An SUV is always a great place to pitch a tent.

Yes, this is another car roof tent. But it's smaller and is shaped more like a box.

Yes, this is another car roof tent. But it’s smaller and is shaped more like a box.

62. Sometimes it helps to blend with local surroundings.

Sure it looks great in the desert. But it will sure stand out like a sore thumb everywhere else.

Sure it looks great in the desert. But it will sure stand out like a sore thumb everywhere else.

63. This camper comes equipped with a few homey touches.

I know they probably went with some shingles and siding. But it sure looks amazing.

I know they probably went with some shingles and siding. But it sure looks amazing.

64. How about hop along on a magic camping trip?

Yes, this is one of those hippie colored campers. I know it looks quite tacky. But you have to admire the artwork.

Yes, this is one of those hippie colored campers. I know it looks quite tacky. But you have to admire the artwork.

65. Guess this tent is in a rather geometric position.

And I can't help but wonder whether they're finished pitching it. Or how big it is by stories.

And I can’t help but wonder whether they’re finished pitching it. Or how big it is by stories.

66. Fans of Titanic will surely adore this quality tent.

Actually it's very much in poor taste, especially with the iceberg hole. But I kind of had to include it.

Actually it’s very much in poor taste, especially with the iceberg hole. But I kind of had to include it.

67. This poncho tent makes an easy pitch.

Well, at least it saves backpack space. Other than that, I'm not sure if I want to wear one.

Well, at least it saves backpack space. Other than that, I’m not sure if I want to wear one.

68. This is a tent that’s bound to blend in with the landscape.

Sorry, but the sheep on the tent isn't real. Yet, I wasn't lying on the "blending in" part.

Sorry, but the sheep on the tent isn’t real. Yet, I wasn’t lying on the “blending in” part.

69. Seems like the trees have stretched these tents to their limits.

Then again, these tree tents were designed that way. Not sure if they're allowed at some campgrounds.

Then again, these tree tents were designed that way. Not sure if they’re allowed at some campgrounds.

70. You might have to climb a tree to reach this tent.

I know these tents could get quite outlandish. But at least this one gives you a great view.

I know these tents could get quite outlandish. But at least this one gives you a great view.

71. Seems like this tent is ready to take to the skies.

This is supposed to resemble a seaplane. But I doubt it could fly without any engine.

This is supposed to resemble a seaplane. But I doubt it could fly without any engine. Nor would you want it to.

72. This domed tent provides ideal camping shelter.

Not sure how you set one of these things up. But they seem rather comfortable.

Not sure how you set one of these things up. But they seem rather comfortable.

73. Presenting the new Cabela’s mansion tent.

Seems to resemble something you'd see off of MASH to me. No disrespect, but I almost imagine Hawkeye and his friends operating in their right this minute.

Seems to resemble something you’d see off of MASH to me. No disrespect, but I almost imagine Hawkeye and his friends operating in their right this minute.

74. Now this tent is said to be a real palace.

Yes, it may resemble a castle. But I bet it nowhere near resembles what the Weasleys' tent did on the inside.

Yes, it may resemble a castle. But I bet it nowhere near resembles what the Weasleys’ tent did on the inside.

75. For moving around, this teepee tent is just the ticket.

Of course, it's made from canvas instead of buffalo skins. But at least it does its job.

Of course, it’s made from canvas instead of buffalo skins. But at least it does its job.

76. Who knew a trampoline tent would make a great tent floor?

Well, a trampoline has a firm surface which beats dirt. However, might cause some bouncing during the night.

Well, a trampoline has a firm surface which beats dirt. However, might cause some bouncing during the night.

77. Guess these two really seemed to let themselves go.

Actually, it's just their tent. But yeah, this is pretty kitschy for the beach.

Actually, it’s just their tent. But yeah, this is pretty kitschy for the beach.

78. This camper surely lets in the sunlight.

I think this one came from the 1960s. And I'm sure it folds out at the destination.

I think this one came from the 1960s. And I’m sure it folds out at the destination.

79. Perhaps a wooden cabin fits best on the back of a truck.

Guess this RV was inspired by the Grapes of Wrath. Oh, wait that family didn't have an RV. What am I thinking?

Guess this RV was inspired by the Grapes of Wrath. Oh, wait that family didn’t have an RV. What am I thinking?

80. If you want to camp out on the water, a floating teepee will serve you well.

Even though Plains Indians didn't camp on the water or had rafts. Because the water ways weren't always navigable.

Even though Plains Indians didn’t camp on the water or had rafts. Because the water ways weren’t always navigable.

81. For camping on the bike trail, this tent trailer can’t be beat.

Sure it's quite small. But so is the thing that's pulling it. Let that sink in.

Sure it’s quite small. But so is the thing that’s pulling it. Let that sink in.

82. You’re sure to have plenty of room in this forest yurt.

Yurts are homes on the Mongolian steppe. Still, I'm sure the doors aren't real.

Yurts are homes on the Mongolian steppe. Still, I’m sure the doors aren’t real.

83. This rooftop tent comes with its own shade.

Well, it keeps the ladder concealed from view. However, the window is totally fake.

Well, it keeps the ladder concealed from view. However, the window is totally fake.

84. When you need a break, this tent might put you at ease.

This is a tent that turns into a hammock whenever need be. It just needs to be flipped over from time to time.

This is a tent that turns into a hammock whenever need be. It just needs to be flipped over from time to time.

85. With a tent like this, you can fall asleep while watching the stars.

Unless it's rainy. Because rain doesn't fall on clear nights, usually.

Unless it’s rainy. Because rain doesn’t fall on clear nights, usually.

86. Sometimes two stacked tents are better than one.

That seems like an interesting canvas watchtower. And unlike some of the rooftop tents on here, it's not attached to a car.

That seems like an interesting canvas watchtower. And unlike some of the rooftop tents on here, it’s not attached to a car.

87. A tent like this has to be out of this world.

Yes, this is a tent of a space module. No, I don't know if it goes with a space shuttle one but I'll try to find out.

Yes, this is a tent of a space module. No, I don’t know if it goes with a space shuttle one but I’ll try to find out.

88. How about camping out in a honeycomb?

Another crazy tent that I'd probably won't see at a campground. Guess this one has 3 stories at least.

Another crazy tent that I’d probably won’t see at a campground. Guess this one has 3 stories at least.

89. Are you sure you want to take your house with you?

Yes, this is a camper shaped like a house. Not sure about the architectural style here.

Yes, this is a camper shaped like a house. Not sure about the architectural style here.

90. Camper or mobile garden shed?

It's a camper that's supposed to resemble a gypsy caravan. Still, not a fan of the color.

It’s a camper that’s supposed to resemble a gypsy caravan. Still, not a fan of the color.

91. This camper comes with all the works.

Well, this seems to come with a desk and shelf for starters. And the shelf seems to store two bottles of wine.

Well, this seems to come with a desk and shelf for starters. And the shelf seems to store two bottles of wine.

92. There’s nothing like a camper with an aluminum roof.

Well, this seems to be a DIY by the looks of it. Like the windows. And it seems to match the truck colors, too.

Well, this seems to be a DIY by the looks of it. Like the windows. And it seems to match the truck colors, too.

93. Guess this one went with the BLT option.

Okay, it's a camper painted as a cheeseburger which is pretty tacky. But I'm sure my viewers would get a kick out of this.

Okay, it’s a camper painted as a cheeseburger which is pretty tacky. But I’m sure my viewers would get a kick out of this.

94. Guess the tent camper goes on top to save luggage room.

Well, the tent camper looks pretty normal sans the wheels. But this seems to be pretty crazy to put it on the roof of a truck.

Well, the tent camper looks pretty normal sans the wheels. But this seems to be pretty crazy to put it on the roof of a truck.

95. Apparently, you might want to make room for this RV.

Let's just say if you want to see Darth Vader camping, you'd could bet any money he'd be sleeping in this. Doesn't help that the front reminds me of an Imperial Storrmtrooper's squashed face.

Let’s just say if you want to see Darth Vader camping, you’d could bet any money he’d be sleeping in this. Doesn’t help that the front reminds me of an Imperial Storrmtrooper’s squashed face.

96. Well, this hot camper was made on fire.

I'm sure this person is a hot rod fan. Not sure if the flames make it look cool though.

I’m sure this person is a hot rod fan. Not sure if the flames make it look cool though.

97. How about a camper in the lap of luxury?

I know it seems like a resort lodge. But it's one of those campers that just happens to have a swimming pool. Like the woodwork though.

I know it seems like a resort lodge. But it’s one of those campers that just happens to have a swimming pool. Like the woodwork though.

98. Can’t decide whether this design is industrial or futuristic.

Or if it's a cross between a trailer truck and a prison. But I think it's pretty lucky. And I think the lights sticking up really don't help.

Or if it’s a cross between a trailer truck and a prison. But I think it’s pretty lucky. And I think the lights sticking up really don’t help.

99. Well, at least they don’t have to worry about fire emergencies.

Okay, maybe they do. But it's funny how this camper is attached to a fire truck. And not a red one.

Okay, maybe they do. But it’s funny how this camper is attached to a fire truck. And not a red one.

100. If you want more room, you could pitch the tent section.

It's called an ECOcombo off grid camper. Said to be solar powered and comes with its own boat.

It’s called an ECOcombo off grid camper. Said to be solar powered and comes with its own boat.

The Great Wide World of Outdoor Gear

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Summer is a time when many of us spend considerable time in the great outdoors. Whether it means going camping, hiking, gardening, mowing the lawn, and what not, chances are that you’ll be engaged in at least one outdoor activity which means you’ll probably need some degree of such equipment well suited for whatever you endeavor. Above is a rough guide of what to put in your backpack when out hiking and camping in the great outdoors without any bathroom in sight. However, while I could list all the great outdoor equipment out there, I know you’d be bored to tears. Instead, I’ll list some of the wackier stuff you might find whether it’s for hikers, gardeners, or landscapers. They may be stuff you might be scratching your head about or things you never thought you needed. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you some crazy outdoor gear.

  1. A tool step will surely help you with pressing your shovel.
This hard plastic contraption is supposed to make digging a lot more easier. Until the plastic gets old and breaks, that is.

This hard plastic contraption is supposed to make digging a lot more easier. Until the plastic gets old and breaks, that is.

2. Pesky weeds? Get a weeder.

Yes, it looks like a brightly colored torture device. But it's not. Still, I have never really saw something like this in my life.

Yes, it looks like a brightly colored torture device. But it’s not. Still, I have never really saw something like this in my life.

3. For camping trips, perhaps try a rustic kitchen sink.

Someone must've made this from pallets and a kitchen sink. However, running water not included.

Someone must’ve made this from pallets and a kitchen sink. However, running water not included.

4. For camp cooking, try out a pine cone stove.

It's a pine cone stove because it burns pine cones. However, good luck finding use for this in Pennsylvania where there aren't as many conifers lurking around.

It’s a pine cone stove because it burns pine cones. However, good luck finding use for this in Pennsylvania where there aren’t as many conifers lurking around.

5. Introducing a new, state of the art, push mower.

You mean they still make these things? And with wheels you might see on a cabinet? Not sure what to think of that.

You mean they still make these things? And with wheels you might see on a cabinet? Not sure what to think of that.

6. This camp kitchen comes with a toaster oven and coffee machine.

So you don't have to worry about making coffee or bagels in the woods. Also very state of the art.

So you don’t have to worry about making coffee or bagels in the woods. Also very state of the art.

7. Introducing a new way to make smores on the grill.

On one hand, it looks quite convenient. But on the other hand, it doesn't seem quite right. Also, are heating the chocolate and graham crackers really necessary?

On one hand, it looks quite convenient. But on the other hand, it doesn’t seem quite right. Also, are heating the chocolate and graham crackers really necessary?

8. If you want a convenient camping shelf, look no further.

Another DIY camping thing. Like how this has a place for music, paper towels, and condiments as well as a trash can.

Another DIY camping thing. Like how this has a place for music, paper towels, and condiments as well as a trash can.

9. In case your campsite might be disturbed during the night, this knife flashlight will come in handy.

It's a knife with a flashlight. For when you need to use a knife at night. Other than for camp fires. I wouldn't be sure why this would exist.

It’s a knife with a flashlight. For when you need to use a knife at night. Other than for camp fires. I wouldn’t be sure why this would exist.

10. At a campsite why pack silverware when you can have Swiss Army cutlery?

On one hand, it seems rather convenient and saves space. But on the other hand, how do you wash it?

On one hand, it seems rather convenient and saves space. But on the other hand, how do you wash it?

11. How about a cooler in mahogany?

Yes, it's a cooler that takes the appearance of a mahogany trunk. Why anyone would want that, I have no idea.

Yes, it’s a cooler that takes the appearance of a mahogany trunk. Why anyone would want that, I have no idea.

12. For picking up pecans and nuts, this is just the thing.

Also great if you need something to use for bingo night. Know this requires about 75 ping pong balls.

Also great if you need something to use for bingo night. Know this requires about 75 ping pong balls.

13. For your camping needs, these red containers are just what you need.

These can be made into different things like containers, a shower, a bed, and a table. So your camping needs can be all accounted for.

These can be made into different things like containers, a shower, a bed, and a table. So your camping needs can be all accounted for.

14. Instead of a tool box, you might want to consider a hammer, ax, pliers, and Swiss Army knife all in one.

Then again, such devices can only do so much. But it's still interesting to look at.

Then again, such devices can only do so much. But it’s still interesting to look at.

15. Next time you have to shit in the woods, do it in this.

Sure it may not flush but at least it's not a port a potty. However, shitting in the woods in this doesn't give you much privacy.

Sure it may not flush but at least it’s not a port a potty. However, shitting in the woods in this doesn’t give you much privacy.

16. Why use a towel when you can use a big body wipe to dry yourself off?

Yes, it's like you're using a paper towel or baby wipe on your whole body. I'm sure this isn't environmentally sustainable.

Yes, it’s like you’re using a paper towel or baby wipe on your whole body. I’m sure this isn’t environmentally sustainable.

17. To keep your devices running as well as some extra lights, this Biolite Nanogrid got you covered.

Uh, isn't a camping trip supposed to be a time when you're supposed to put away electronic devices. That's how I understand it.

Uh, isn’t a camping trip supposed to be a time when you’re supposed to put away electronic devices. That’s how I grew up with understanding it.

18. Also from Biolite is a wood burning camp stove and generator.

Of course, such stove does exist. It's called a campfire. So unless you plan on hiking in a snow capped mountain range, you probably won't need this. Then again, it might use smaller wood pieces. Also, what did I say about electronics?

Of course, such stove does exist. It’s called a campfire. So unless you plan on hiking in a snow capped mountain range, you probably won’t need this. Then again, it might use smaller wood pieces. Also, what did I say about electronics?

19. Instead of having to stop to pee at the nearest rest stop, how about stop when you want to with the bumper dumper?

Then again, people might ask, "So why does this guy have a toilet attached to the back?" Yeah, people might think you're crazy. Also, there's the privacy thing.

Then again, people might ask, “So why does this guy have a toilet attached to the back?” Yeah, people might think you’re crazy. Also, there’s the privacy thing. Maybe use it when you’re in the woods.

20. Instead of a camp stove, try a cooka mat.

Think of it as a set of large hot plates for camping. Not sure if it's bound to work.

Think of it as a set of large hot plates for camping. Not sure if it’s bound to work.

21. For portability while camping, try an egg kitchen.

Includes everything along with the kitchen sink. And you can strap it to the roof of your car.

Includes everything along with the kitchen sink. And you can strap it to the roof of your car.

22. To get around in the dark, this intelligent lantern will light your way.

It even include speakers so you can listen to music. Yes, you read that right.

It even include speakers so you can listen to music. Yes, you read that right.

23. This camping mattress comes with built in speakers.

Why would anyone put speakers into a camping mattress? Unless, oh, I see what they mean. Maybe this isn't meant for a family camping trip per se.

Why would anyone put speakers into a camping mattress? Unless, oh, I see what they mean. Maybe this isn’t meant for a family camping trip per se.

24. To keep those pesky mosquitoes at bay, this mosquito repeller does the job.

If I can verify that it works, then I highly recommend this for Olympic spectators in Rio. For obvious reasons (though I'd question their sanity on why they even bothered, save for those with friends and family).

If I can verify that it works, then I highly recommend this for Olympic spectators in Rio. For obvious reasons (though I’d question their sanity on why they even bothered, save for those with friends and family).

25. For when you’re ripe on the trail, this portable shower comes in handy.

Of course, it might require you fill this with water first. That and find a place where nobody will see you. Unless you want to shower with your clothes on.

Of course, it might require you fill this with water first. That and find a place where nobody will see you. Unless you want to shower with your clothes on.

26. For morning campsite coffee, this coffee box is at your service.

Well, this seems quite convenient. Just make coffee in this box and all is fine. Not sure if it comes with its own cup.

Well, this seems quite convenient. Just make coffee in this box and all is fine. Not sure if it comes with its own cup.

27. Frying is easy in the outdoors with this Coleman Propane Fryer.

Then again, I would think this as nonessential because frying food doesn't work any nutritional wonders. And I'm surprised that Coleman has this available.

Then again, I would think this as nonessential because frying food doesn’t work any nutritional wonders. And I’m surprised that Coleman has this available.

28. Take your food with you in this Cruzin’ Cooler.

Yes, this a mix between a cooler and a tricycle. Also seems electric powered since it has an exhaust pipe.

Yes, this a mix between a cooler and a tricycle. Also seems electric powered since it has an exhaust pipe.

29. For some men, this is chair hammock to rest on in the great outdoors.

This one comes with shade and places to put your drinks. So it's all good.

This one comes with shade and places to put your drinks. So it’s all good.

30. This trunk camp kitchen puts all your culinary needs in one place.

Of course, this is more suited for those who earn 6 figured salaries. But that's beside the point. Still, I'm sure plenty would want this.

Of course, this is more suited for those who earn 6 figured salaries. But that’s beside the point. Still, I’m sure plenty would want this.

31. For those living off the grid, I have the perfect mower for you.

Well, that's one way to make Fluffy useful. However, I think using other animals would be far more efficient. Also gives your lawn a free fertilization.

Well, that’s one way to make Fluffy useful. However, I think using other animals would be far more efficient. Also gives your lawn a free fertilization.

32. For Rover’s camping accommodations, how about his own sleeping bag?

Still, remember that most national and state parks don't allow pets for obvious reasons. So it's very unlikely you'll get to use it.

Still, remember that most national and state parks don’t allow pets for obvious reasons. So it’s very unlikely you’ll get to use it.

33. For easy gardening, get yourself an Easy Bloom Plant Sensor.

This little gadget tells you what will grow in the space you got and how to care for them. As for my home, there's probably not much due to shitty soil content.

This little gadget tells you what will grow in the space you got and how to care for them. As for my home, there’s probably not much due to shitty soil content.

34. For better smores, try the Electric Marshmallow Roaster.

Now you can roast your marshmallows on a rotation. Also works with hotdogs.

Now you can roast your marshmallows on a rotation. Also works with hotdogs.

35. For great storage space, try this spice rack backpack on a tree.

I'm sure you'd want this on your camping trip after you read this post. Seriously, who wouldn't?

I’m sure you’d want this on your camping trip after you read this post. Seriously, who wouldn’t?

36. You never had a strong cup of coffee in the great outdoors until you’ve brewed it with a propane coffee maker.

Brought to you by Coleman. However, using propane isn't as glamorous for the outdoors once you realize how it's extracted these days.

Brought to you by Coleman. However, using propane isn’t as glamorous for the outdoors once you realize how it’s extracted these days. As I can testify.

37. For your camping morning rituals, this box has you covered.

Even comes with a mirror and a place you can fill it up with water. What more can you want?

Even comes with a mirror and a place you can fill it up with water. What more can you want?

38. Crockery and containers are easy to store when they come stacked.

Comes with some pots, pans, bowls, and a few containers. I'm sure it can't be beat.

Comes with some pots, pans, bowls, and a few containers. I’m sure it can’t be beat.

39. For picnics, you might want to help yourselves to this Propane “Party Hub” Grill.

However, remember that most parks have fire pits at camp and picnic sites. So why would anyone think this is necessary?

However, remember that most parks have fire pits at camp and picnic sites. So why would anyone think this is necessary?

40. For food processing in the great outdoors, this crank blender is at your command.

Because sipping margaritas and smoothies in the woods = survival. Not sure if I think about that. Probably makes a lot of noise, too.

Because sipping margaritas and smoothies in the woods = survival. Not sure if I think about that. Probably makes a lot of noise, too.

41. For on the go hygiene on your hike, try the pocket shower.

Yes, this is a shower you can carry in the palm of your hand. Butyou have to fill it with water and put it up a tree first.

Yes, this is a shower you can carry in the palm of your hand. But you have to fill it with water and put it up a tree first.

42. Change your campfire’s color with some fire crystals.

Yes, those flame colors may look pretty. But it's recommended that you don't roast marshmallows over them. Since they contain certain chemicals.

Yes, those flame colors may look pretty. But it’s recommended that you don’t roast marshmallows over them. Since they contain certain chemicals.

43. This camp kitchen has everything you can fit in a suitcase.

And I wasn't kidding. Because this camp kitchen is literally in a suitcase. Very handy.

And I wasn’t kidding. Because this camp kitchen is literally in a suitcase. Very handy.

44. Why mow the lawn when you have a mowbot?

Someone made this as a project. However, I bet my dad would be envious if something like this existed.

Someone made this as a project. However, I bet my dad would be envious if something like this existed.

45. Speaking of mowers, there’s no better way to cut the grass than with a large hot rod engine.

Okay, it's probably more of a piece of DIY farm equipment. But you just have to see the kid on the seat smiling and holding his hand. That's great.

Okay, it’s probably more of a piece of DIY farm equipment. But you just have to see the kid on the seat smiling and holding his hand. That’s great.

46. For outdoor camping outside, this grill comes easy to carry.

Because you can fold it and take it with you on the go. Even though it's hard to tell how you make it work from the picture. Like how it's called a "GoBQ."

Because you can fold it and take it with you on the go. Even though it’s hard to tell how you make it work from the picture. Like how it’s called a “GoBQ.”

47. Now you can have cold drinks with you wherever you sit and wherever you go.

These are folding cooler bag chairs. Great for camping and other activities. If you value your access to drinks over the comfort of your seat.

These are folding cooler bag chairs. Great for camping and other activities. If you value your access to drinks over the comfort of your seat.

48. This Garden Groom will help keep your hedges trim.

Yes, it looks like a vacuum and probably sounds like one. But it seems to do a really great pruning job.

Yes, it looks like a vacuum and probably sounds like one. But it seems to do a really great pruning job.

49. Now you don’t have to worry about laundry at the campsite with this washer and dryer.

Of course, you can wash clothes in water before drying them on the line. But that would take too long.

Of course, you can wash clothes in water before drying them on the line. But that would take too long.

50. GoTenna will always give you better reception in the great outdoors.

Because if you're stuck in the woods, you'll bet there's a strong chance of no cell phone service. Keep that in mind.

Because if you’re stuck in the woods, you’ll bet there’s a strong chance of no cell phone service. Keep that in mind.

51. Need a better way to clean your grill? Try Grillbot.

This is an automatic grill brush. Said to clean your grill, hands free, in no time. And my dad is like, "Oh, shit."

This is an automatic grill brush. Said to clean your grill, hands free, in no time. And my dad is like, “Oh, shit.”

52. For cutting off high limbs in hard to reach places, this high limb chain saw has got you covered.

Now you can cut high limbs from a tree without having to worry about risking serious injury. At least not as much than having to do it with a ladder.

Now you can cut high limbs from a tree without having to worry about risking serious injury. At least not as much than having to do it with a ladder.

53. When keeping warm at the campfire, you can’t do without a honcho poncho.

It's part blanket and part poncho. And unlike the snuggie, it was made for the great outdoors in all kinds of weather.

It’s part blanket and part poncho. And unlike the snuggie, it was made for the great outdoors in all kinds of weather.

54. With the Husquvarna Automated Lawn Mower, you don’t have go out to cut the grass again.

Man, I know my dad would want this if he saw it. But I'm sure it's expensive as hell.

Man, I know my dad would want this if he saw it. But I’m sure it’s expensive as hell.

55. On a hike, this battery powered shower fits in the palm of your hand.

Sure it looks like some headphone. But you put water in it. I know it doesn't look like much but it's a portable shower.

Sure it looks like some headphone. But you put water in it. I know it doesn’t look like much but it’s a portable shower.

56. This Life Straw Personal Water Filter will guarantee you fresh drinking water all the time.

I'm sure there are plenty of people who need this. Namely people who are either camping or on some Latin American vacation. These need to be distributed to Olympic spectators in Rio.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who need this. Namely people who are either camping or on some Latin American vacation. These need to be distributed to Olympic spectators in Rio.

57. With this riding mower, be the king of the open lawn.

Yes, this is a motorcycle riding mower. It's part motorcycle, part tractor. Probably some kind of project in some guy's garage.

Yes, this is a motorcycle riding mower. It’s part motorcycle, part tractor. Probably some kind of project in some guy’s garage.

58. To keep dry and your hands free in the rain, a nubrella is just for you.

While the nubrella might keep you dry, it won't stop you from looking like a total idiot. Take it from someone who knows.

While the nubrella might keep you dry, it won’t stop you from looking like a total idiot. Take it from someone who knows.

59. An Oru kayak is a very convenient way to go across the river.

Because you can fold it and carry it with you on land. Not sure about the lack of an oar though.

Because you can fold it and carry it with you on land. Not sure about the lack of an oar though.

60. This is EcoWash Dinner Set by Electrolux is perfect for the lazy camper.

And here we have what this device consist of as well as how to wash the dishes with it. Note that it has to use its own plates.

And here we have what this device consist of as well as how to wash the dishes with it. Note that it has to use its own plates.

61. For convenient clothes washing, you might want to go with a Scrubba wash bag.

Yes, this is a laundry bag. But it's a laundry bag you wash clothes in while camping. There's a difference.

Yes, this is a laundry bag. But it’s a laundry bag you wash clothes in while camping. There’s a difference.

62. If you need to shit in the woods, the squat strap really comes in handy.

Because if you need to shit in the woods, it can be hard to sit down. Squatting can sometimes be very uncomfortable on these occasions.

Because if you need to shit in the woods, it can be hard to sit down. Squatting can sometimes be very uncomfortable on these occasions.

63. Cook food on the camp site by using the power of the sun with this GoSun solar oven.

I guess the tube in this thing is bigger than it looks in the picture. Because you can put a whole chicken in it.

I guess the tube in this thing is bigger than it looks in the picture. Because you can put a whole chicken in it.

64. To get rid of pesky garden spiders, this spider catcher comes in handy.

Of course, not all spiders are dangerous though being bit by them is not pleasant. Believe me, I've put up with that one spring.

Of course, not all spiders are dangerous though being bit by them is not pleasant. Believe me, I’ve put up with that one spring.

65. For better mowing and less movement, go with the lazy man’s power mower.

This is from a vintage image as you can see. Has a rather futuristic design with the dad in the bubble.

This is from a vintage image as you can see. Has a rather futuristic design with the dad in the bubble.

66. Make gardening easier with a tractor scoot.

Not sure if it makes gardening easier for anyone like me. But I wouldn't mind having it on me (at least for fun).

Not sure if it makes gardening easier for anyone like me. But I wouldn’t mind having it on me (at least for fun).

67. When camping, just remember that Sparky needs his own shelter, too.

Yes, I know it's ridiculous because a lot of state and national parks don't allow pets. But it makes a great photo op.

Yes, I know it’s ridiculous because a lot of state and national parks don’t allow pets. But it makes a great photo op.

68. If you don’t like the tractor scoot, the wearable garden stool is just as good.

Talk about having a stick up your ass on this one. Not sure how it will make gardening easier if it has one leg.

Talk about having a stick up your ass on this one. Not sure how it will make gardening easier if it has one leg.

69. This Wegner is the only Swiss Army Knife you ever need.

Because this one has a lot of stuff in it for any camping trip. Costs $1300.

Because this one has a lot of stuff in it for any camping trip. Costs $1300.

70. This solar charger gives your iPhone all the power you’ll ever need on your camping trip.

Uh, isn't camping supposed to be pertain to not using electronics? Then again, you can't really stop using your cell phone.

Uh, isn’t camping supposed to be pertain to not using electronics? Then again, you can’t really stop using your cell phone.

71. Need hot water? This Cuissental Slick Boil is just for you.

This kettle is of collapsible silicon. Makes it resistant to fire and insulates heat.

This kettle is of collapsible silicon. Makes it resistant to fire and insulates heat.

72. During a camping trip, a trampoline is always fun, on the water.

Yes, these do exist. And you can inflate them to put on a body of water. Yet, makes sure it's a beach before you use it.

Yes, these do exist. And you can inflate them to put on a body of water. Yet, makes sure it’s a beach before you use it.

73. This garden implement has a rake on one side and a hoe on the other.

Well, the hoe is abnormally wider than usual. But what did you expect?

Well, the hoe is abnormally wider than usual. But what did you expect from a wide garden implement like a rake?

74. A cocoon hammock is great when you need some privacy.

Not sure if it qualifies as a tent. But I wouldn't mind having this on a camping trip. Looks nice and cozy.

Not sure if it qualifies as a tent. But I wouldn’t mind having this on a camping trip. Looks nice and cozy.

75. A double sleeping bag is where the magic happens.

Yes, young romantic campers, these things exist. And I'm not sure if you'd want to take it on a family camping trip. Might go well with the camp mattress with speakers.

Yes, young romantic campers, these things exist. And I’m not sure if you’d want to take it on a family camping trip. Might go well with the camp mattress with speakers.

76. This Folding Flat Pot props up whenever you need it while camping.

It's a sheet of metal. But you can make it into a square pot if you need to do so.

It’s a sheet of metal. But you can make it into a square pot if you need to do so.

77. These solar powered Luminaid lights will illuminate any camp site.

Comes in 8 different colors. But they store power from the sun during the day. And use it during the night.

Comes in 8 different colors. But they store power from the sun during the day. And use it during the night.

78. This flashlight nightlight shows light way ahead of your path.

This one could be really handy if you have to go to the campground bathroom in the middle of the night. Like how it uses 2 lights.

This one could be really handy if you have to go to the campground bathroom in the middle of the night. Like how it uses 2 lights.

79. For a simpler campfire experience, help yourself to a campfire in a can.

Or as I call it, a "campfire for lazy people." Seriously, campfires should have real wood and be made by scratch. Not this.

Or as I call it, a “campfire for lazy people.” Seriously, campfires should have real wood and be made by scratch. Not this.

80. For pesky bugs, you might want this zap racket by your side.

Yes, a racket that will catch those pesky summer bugs. Might make them suffer but do I give a shit about them? No.

Yes, a racket that will catch those pesky summer bugs. Might make them suffer but do I give a shit about them? No.

81. Musuc Wear is the only kind of camping sleep wear you’ll ever need.

Yes, it's a sleeping bag you can wear. I know it's crazy and I probably showed this before. But I couldn't resist.

Yes, it’s a sleeping bag you can wear. I know it’s crazy and I probably showed this before. But I couldn’t resist.

82. With a watering can adapter, you use bottle to water your plants.

These look quite handy since you can use it on bottles. Comes in several different colors.

These look quite handy since you can use it on bottles. Comes in several different colors.

83. Garden gloves like these help you dig with your hands.

Kind of reminds you of some colorful claw hand. Yet, it's only a plastic glove that's a lame Wolverine imitation.

Kind of reminds you of some colorful claw hand. Yet, it’s only a plastic glove that’s a lame Wolverine imitation.

84. Sometimes you might need a row boat you can fit in your bag.

So if you hear "Dueling Banjoes" on the Appalachian Trail, you'll know when to get it out and rowing. Okay, I'm just kidding on that one.

So if you hear “Dueling Banjoes” on the Appalachian Trail, you’ll know when to get it out and rowing. Okay, I’m just kidding on that one.

85. Ever wish you can sit in a big camp chair? Now you can.

No, this isn't photoshop. The chair is actually that big. Take my word for it. Believe me.

No, this isn’t photoshop. The chair is actually that big. Take my word for it. Or Buzzfeed’s.

86. Steripen Freedom will help purify any water for you.

A must have for those on camping trips in the woods or on Latin American vacations. Because you never know what's in the water.

A must have for those on camping trips in the woods or on Latin American vacations. Because you never know what’s in the water.

87. This solar light can withstand the dark and stormy nights.

This would be a must have for any camper in my area. Because when it's not hot in Southwestern PA during the summer, it's incredibly rainy.

This would be a must have for any camper in my area. Because when it’s not hot in Southwestern PA during the summer, it’s incredibly rainy.

88. This solar powered bottle light is great in any dark situations.

It also ensures that you have an emergency light that doesn't take much space. A must have for any hiker or camper.

It also ensures that you have an emergency light that doesn’t take much space. A must have for any hiker or camper.

89. For a convenient cup of coffee in the great outdoors, this Handexpresso is all you need.

As if getting coffee couldn't be more simpler. I know so many people might feel this is something they didn't know they needed.

As if getting coffee couldn’t be more simpler. I know so many people might feel this is something they didn’t know they needed.

90. If you want to travel light, you might want to take this ultralight camp stove with you.

And I mean light. Since it barely resembles a stove. Just a very sophisticated bunsen burner from an advanced chemistry class.

And I mean light. Since it barely resembles a stove. Just a very sophisticated bunsen burner from an advanced chemistry class.

91. This backpack comes with its own solar power cell.

Well, at least you can charge you devices with this like your GPS and cell phone. Then again, you might not get much of signal anyway.

Well, at least you can charge you devices with this like your GPS and cell phone. Then again, you might not get much of signal anyway.

92. For shade around the campfire this chair has got you covered.

Now I would certainly want this for the beach. Also comes with bag for reading material like magazines.

Now I would certainly want this for the beach. Also comes with bag for reading material like magazines.

93. Keep your water pure in this Camelbak UV Light Water Purifier.

This even comes with a light. Said to purify water in 60 seconds from anywhere. Not sure if I buy it.

This even comes with a light. Said to purify water in 60 seconds from anywhere. Not sure if I buy it.

94. For your campsite take out, you’ll need these chopsticks.

Unless you're from East Asia, I'd see no reason why anyone would need these. Seriously, does anyone eat take out during a camping trip?

Unless you’re from East Asia, I’d see no reason why anyone would need these. Seriously, does anyone eat take out during a camping trip?

95. This tent chair can be shaped for many different purposes.

You can use it as a bed, tent, recliner, and chair. So there should be no reason why anyone wouldn't want this.

You can use it as a bed, tent, recliner, and chair. So there should be no reason why anyone wouldn’t want this.

96. Now you can grill on the go with Grilliput.

Comes with a tray and fire pit. But it sure looks quite simple to assemble. Doesn't it?

Comes with a tray and fire pit. But it sure looks quite simple to assemble. Doesn’t it?

97. This Ice Mule Cooler will store cold drinks on any hiking trip.

Of course, beer seems to be the popular choice. Because some hikers prefer to party during the night.

Of course, beer seems to be the popular choice. Because some hikers prefer to party during the night.

98. You can put up these hanging chairs at the back of a truck or car.

However, they seem like they could get tangled easily. Not sure how anyone could sit in them.

However, they seem like they could get tangled easily. Not sure how anyone could sit in them.

99. Watering plants is easier with Ucan.

Yes, it's a large watering can but you can pull it and carry it whenever you need to. So I guess it's quite handy.

Yes, it’s a large watering can but you can pull it and carry it whenever you need to. So I guess it’s quite handy.

100. Storing water in your backpack is easy with these Hydaway bottles.

And if you're not using them, you can store them away. Simple as that. Also come in a lot of different colors.

And if you’re not using them, you can store them away. Simple as that. Also come in a lot of different colors.

The Bright Sunny World of Suncatchers

sunflakes

For the wind chime’s optical equivalent, you have the suncatcher. Believed to be originally made by the Southwestern Native Americans, these things are pieces of reflective glass or nacre that are hung indoors at windows to catch the light from a nearby source. Of course, I’m not sure if I’d ever have these in my home since my dad has a tendency for migraines. However, you can also put suncatchers outdoors as well and they do make ones specifically for gardens as you shall see. Some of the designs like you see above could be abstract, perhaps with some mobile like chained elements. And sometimes they, too can be attached to wind chimes like you’ve probably saw. More complex designs can evoke plants or animals. Many of the wind chimes you might see can be massed produced. Others made by hand which you might see on Etsy or Pinterest. And in this post, I give you a treasure trove of suncatchers for your eyes’ desires.

  1. A purple butterfly is sure to shine through the window.
But not when it's overcast as you see here. But still, this is quite pretty.

But not when it’s overcast as you see here. But still, this is quite pretty.

2. If you like bluebirds at your window, you might like this suncatcher.

Like butterflies, birds also tend to be a common suncatcher motif. You'll see a few of these.

Like butterflies, birds also tend to be a common suncatcher motif. You’ll see a few of these.

3. Those who like pond scenery might prefer a suncatcher of a dragonfly and frog with a lily pad.

Of course, you might not be able to see the frog since it's blended in with the lily pad. Because the frog doesn't want the dragon fly to notice.

Of course, you might not be able to see the frog since it’s blended in with the lily pad. Because the frog doesn’t want the dragon fly to notice.

4. Nothing says spring like a suncatcher wreath of butterflies and flowers.

I'm sure this thing is quite delicate. But it should look brilliant shining through the window.

I’m sure this thing is quite delicate. But it should look brilliant shining through the window.

5. It’s said that a crescent moon shines brightly in the sun.

Yes, this is a lovely suncatcher. But it's a moon. The moon comes out at night. See where I'm getting at?

Yes, this is a lovely suncatcher. But it’s a moon. The moon comes out at night. See where I’m getting at?

6. Seems like these pieces of this broken heart were put back together.

Maybe not but it sure looks like it. Nevertheless, you have to love this heart suncatcher design.

Maybe not but it sure looks like it. Nevertheless, you have to love this heart suncatcher design.

7. You can make your own suncatcher with wire and beads.

As long as you have something that brings in the sunlight. Still, this is pretty.

As long as you have something that brings in the sunlight. Still, this is pretty.

8. With this suncatcher, you can always see the colors of the rainbow.

That way whenever the sun shines in, you'll always have a rainbow. Like how the colors are arranged in this one.

That way whenever the sun shines in, you’ll always have a rainbow. Like how the colors are arranged in this one.

9. For sun on winter days, go with a snowflake one.

Most of these suncatchers pertain to spring and summer. But there are some that cover other seasons, too.

Most of these suncatchers pertain to spring and summer. But there are some that cover other seasons, too.

10. This suncatcher is sure a colorful star.

Well, it's in a star shape with a crystal in the center. Love the colors though.

Well, it’s in a star shape with a crystal in the center. Love the colors though.

11. What’s better than a rainbow but a rainbow flower?

This is lovely. But it's sure a large panel as I can see. I bet this looks great in the sunlight.

This is lovely. But it’s sure a large panel as I can see. I bet this looks great in the sunlight.

12. This blue heart suncatcher sure does shimmer.

Or is it purple? Either way, it sure looks pretty. Wouldn't mind having this one.

Or is it purple? Either way, it sure looks pretty. Wouldn’t mind having this one.

13. When it comes to suncatchers, you can’t go wrong with wire trees.

With the beads as leaves and flowers. Nevertheless, someone must've spent a lot of time on this.

With the beads as leaves and flowers. Nevertheless, someone must’ve spent a lot of time on this.

14. Another wire suncatcher is surrounded by butterflies.

Well, this one has wire butterflies and flowers. But I sure love the colors on this one.

Well, this one has wire butterflies and flowers. But I sure love the colors on this one.

15. This suncatcher shimmers like a hanging jewel in the sunlight.

This one is one of the more abstract types. But this doesn't mean it's less lovely than some of the others.

This one is one of the more abstract types. But this doesn’t mean it’s less lovely than some of the others.

16. For a more green suncatcher, you can always go with tree.

Well, if you're not into floral suncatchers, this one may do. Still, I think it would make a fine addition to any window.

Well, if you’re not into floral suncatchers, this one may do. Still, I think it would make a fine addition to any window.

17. Polly wanna suncatcher?

You got that right, this is a parrot suncacther. Requires much less maintenance than the real thing.

You got that right, this is a parrot suncacther. Requires much less maintenance than the real thing.

18. Looks like this woman is hanging around a spider web.

Or so it looks like a spider web. Wonder what she has in her hand. A raindrop?

Or so it looks like a spider web. Wonder what she has in her hand. A raindrop?

19. This jeweled suncatcher is from wire and in a shape of a heart.

Well, this is wonderful. Love the sparkly beads on this. Guess it shimmers in the sunlight.

Well, this is wonderful. Love the sparkly beads on this. Guess it shimmers in the sunlight.

20. This blue suncatcher has a little snowflake on the end.

Wonder how this shimmers in the sunlight. Still, this is more meant for winter decoration.

Wonder how this shimmers in the sunlight. Still, this is more meant for winter decoration.

21. If you like flowers, then you’ll love these flowery suncacter panels.

I guess these are all painted. Nevertheless, these sure look so beautiful.

I guess these are all painted. Nevertheless, these sure look so beautiful.

22. Those in a spring mood might take well to this yellow flower suncatcher.

Guess this one's lost a few petals. Oh wait, that's a lily on a pad. Are there yellow lily pad flowers out there? Not sure.

Guess this one’s lost a few petals. Oh wait, that’s a lily on a pad. Are there yellow lily pad flowers out there? Not sure.

23. If you like irises, this suncatcher is for you.

This is beautiful. I'm sure this was mass produced. But I like how it's painted.

This is beautiful. I’m sure this was mass produced. But I like how it’s painted.

24. Look at this bluebird in the corner.

Well, this is kind of neat. Never seen something like that before. Seems quite rustic if you ask me.

Well, this is kind of neat. Never seen something like that before. Seems quite rustic if you ask me.

25. If you like Tiffany designs, then you’ll sure love this suncatcher.

You got to love the stained glass on this. Seems like it comes straight from a Tiffany lamp. Very beautiful.

You got to love the stained glass on this. Seems like it comes straight from a Tiffany lamp. Very beautiful.

26. This rainbow heart is a suncatcher you’re bound to love.

Love to see the sun shining through this heart suncatcher. Sure is quite beautiful.

Love to see the sun shining through this heart suncatcher. Sure is quite beautiful.

27. This star suncatcher chain is in full red, white, and blue.

A fine suncatcher for any patriotic home in America. Like the spirals on these. So whimsical.

A fine suncatcher for any patriotic home in America. Like the spirals on these. So whimsical.

28. You heard of dreamcatchers? Well, this one catches some sun.

And this seems like a rainbow one at that. Or so it seems. At any rate, like the feathers.

And this seems like a rainbow one at that. Or so it seems. At any rate, like the feathers.

29. If you love flowers, then you’ll adore this pansy suncatcher.

You might see a lot of pansies around. But I do like this purple one. The ribbons are a nice touch, too.

You might see a lot of pansies around. But I do like this purple one. The ribbons are a nice touch, too.

30. This rainbow suncatcher has the sunlight dancing on it.

This is on crystal bead chain. I know there are a few of these. But I think this is the best one.

This is on crystal bead chain. I know there are a few of these. But I think this is the best one.

31. There’s no suncatcher more quaint than that of a ladybug.

Sure real ladybugs aren't known to be adorable. But this is so cute if you ask me.

Sure real ladybugs aren’t known to be adorable. But this is so cute if you ask me.

32. Those with a sunny disposition, you might like this sunflower suncatcher.

Well, it's more vibrant than a real sunflower. But it's still quite pretty.

Well, it’s more vibrant than a real sunflower. But it’s still quite pretty.

33. For those who like winter wonders, go with this suncatcher penguin.

This one even has a snowflake coming from its beak. So adorable.

This one even has a snowflake coming from its beak. So adorable. Why, I like penguins.

34. This dream catcher suncatcher has its own stained glass eagle.

Yes, this is a Native American style suncatcher. But the eagle looks pretty cool.

Yes, this is a Native American style suncatcher. But the eagle looks pretty cool.

35. If you like rainbows, how about one squared?

Yes, this one is in a square and in a crazy design. Love it though.

Yes, this one is in a square and in a crazy design. Love it though.

36. Now that is one funky colored rooster.

For those who live on a farm or keep chickens this is the kind of suncatcher for you. Love the feathers on this.

For those who live on a farm or keep chickens this is the kind of suncatcher for you. Love the feathers on this.

37. For you artsy religious types out there, this suncatcher is for you.

Well, this is pretty neat. Not a conventional shape. But I wouldn't mind having one like this, particularly if it was purple.

Well, this is pretty neat. Not a conventional shape. But I wouldn’t mind having one like this, particularly if it was purple.

38. Those who might appreciate the beauty of the desert might enjoy this suncatcher.

Sure the desert might have lovely landscapes. But is it a great place to live? Not really.

Sure the desert might have lovely landscapes. But is it a great place to live? Not really.

39. Seems like this wire tree got encased in some glass.

Now this is something. Wonder they did this. Perhaps we'll never know.

Now this is something. Wonder they did this. Perhaps we’ll never know.

40. Looks like this cardinal has found the perfect place to spread his wings.

This is a suncatcher for a garden since it has a stick below. But this fairly fine craftsmanship if you ask me.

This is a suncatcher for a garden since it has a stick below. But this fairly fine craftsmanship if you ask me.

41. Why make a stained glass flower suncatcher when you can press one in glass?

Well, this is lovely. Doesn't mean that the painted glass flowers are less pretty though.

Well, this is lovely. Doesn’t mean that the painted glass flowers are less pretty though.

42. I’m sure anyone would want a suncatcher tulip or two.

These come in 4 colors. However, the light purple one is the best out of these 4 or so I think.

These come in 4 colors. However, the light purple one is the best out of these 4 or so I think.

43. I guess this glass suncatcher has gone green.

Well, green and purple anyway. But that is a very nice green. Not to mention, this one has some glass markings as well.

Well, green and purple anyway. But that is a very nice green. Not to mention, this one has some glass markings as well.

44. Ah, can anyone think of anything more adorable than a sleeping angel?

Yes, this is quite cute. Still, think it's more suitable for nighttime decor. Not so much as a suncatcher.

Yes, this is quite cute. Still, think it’s more suitable for nighttime decor. Not so much as a suncatcher.

45. This rainbow butterfly is a wonder to behold in the sun.

Yes, this is a rainbow butterfly suncatcher. And yes, it's in the sunlight. Amazing, isn't it?

Yes, this is a rainbow butterfly suncatcher. And yes, it’s in the sunlight. Amazing, isn’t it?

46. Well, that’s one way to make a rainbow heart.

This one has the colors coming from the center. Nevertheless, it's quite beautiful.

This one has the colors coming from the center. Nevertheless, it’s quite beautiful.

47. If you’re into the life aquatic, you might enjoy this seahorse suncatcher.

I suppose they have aquatic stuff, too. Don't know what to make of that seahorse though.

I suppose they have aquatic stuff, too. Don’t know what to make of that seahorse though.

48. As we all know, I couldn’t do a suncatcher post without including a rose.

Of course, this was probably not an easy thing to make. But you do have to admire its beauty and craftsmanship.

Of course, this was probably not an easy thing to make. But you do have to admire its beauty and craftsmanship.

49. Now that seems like a very intricate dream catcher.

This dreamcatcher seems to bear some resemblance to a stained glass window. But it's a suncatcher.

This dreamcatcher seems to bear some resemblance to a stained glass window. But it’s a suncatcher.

50. Those who live near the seashore might like this sand dollar suncatcher.

Not sure how sand dollars come into existence. But you have to like this one of stained glass.

Not sure how sand dollars come into existence. But you have to like this one of stained glass.

51. Not a fan of seahorses? How about this jellyfish suncatcher?

Yes, a jellyfish may be pretty. But there are plenty you don't want to swim near. Because they're highly poisonous and can kill you.

Yes, a jellyfish may be pretty. But there are plenty you don’t want to swim near. Because they’re highly poisonous and can kill you.

52. Nothing shines more in the sunlight than this rainbow suncatcher panel.

Kind of reminds you of as stained glass rainbow window. Like the squares.

Kind of reminds you of as stained glass rainbow window. Like the squares.

53. This suncatcher will surely glimmer in the sunlight like a gem.

This is beautiful. Lobe the blue pieces on this. And the frame.

This is beautiful. Lobe the blue pieces on this. And the frame.

54. When it comes to animals, you can’t go wrong with this stained glass raindrop cat.

Many of the cat suncatchers show the cat from the back. This one at least shows the eyes.

Many of the cat suncatchers show the cat from the back. This one at least shows the eyes.

55. This blue angel is simply divine.

This one uses wire, marbles, and glass for this angel. And the results are wondrous beyond compare.

This one uses wire, marbles, and glass for this angel. And the results are wondrous beyond compare.

56. This owl suncatcher is sure to be a hoot.

This is adorable. Love the big eyes on this one. Also like how it's purple.

This is adorable. Love the big eyes on this one. Also like how it’s purple.

57. This praying angel suncatcher sure captures such angelic beauty.

Yes, I know I've been putting a few angel suncatchers up. But trust me, this one is incredibly beautiful.

Yes, I know I’ve been putting a few angel suncatchers up. But trust me, this one is incredibly beautiful.

58. Nothing makes a more sacred suncatcher than this brilliant blue cross.

Yes, this is another cross suncatcher. But you have to love that brilliant blue on this one. So lovely.

Yes, this is another cross suncatcher. But you have to love that brilliant blue on this one. So lovely.

59. How about go up in this rainbow hot air balloon?

Yes, hot air balloons can be wonders in the sky like this one. But you have to love these colors.

Yes, hot air balloons can be wonders in the sky like this one. But you have to love these colors.

60. This purple flower is so pretty you’d almost think it would be on a Tiffany lamp.

I really like this flower for it's petals and design. Also, because it's purple.

I really like this flower for it’s petals and design. Also, because it’s purple.

61. When it comes to birds in flight almost no one beats the hummingbird.

You have to love the colors on this one. If it weren't for the shine, you'd almost think the green matches the trees.

You have to love the colors on this one. If it weren’t for the shine, you’d almost think the green matches the trees.

62. If you’re into marittime, this sailboat suncatcher may float your boat.

I like the white part of this. They kind of remind me of crazy clouds.

I like the white part of this. They kind of remind me of crazy clouds.

63. I’m no one could resist these flower suncatchers.

Well, these are 3-dimensional suncatcher flowers. But they're nevertheless quite pretty and probably delicate.

Well, these are 3-dimensional suncatcher flowers. But they’re nevertheless quite pretty and probably delicate.

64. How about a suncatcher spider web?

Normally, you might think spiders and webs are creepy. But this spiderweb seems like an unforgettable work of art.

Normally, you might think spiders and webs are creepy. But this spiderweb seems like an unforgettable work of art.

65. This suncatcher will guarantee you luck from the Irish.

Yes, this is a shamrock suncatcher. And I'm sure they sell these for Saint Patrick's Day.

Yes, this is a shamrock suncatcher. And I’m sure they sell these for Saint Patrick’s Day.

66. Hey, look, a blue octopus from the deep.

Well, at least it's not a blue ringed octopus. Those things are poisonous. Still, fine artistry here.

Well, at least it’s not a blue ringed octopus. Those things are poisonous. Still, fine artistry here.

67. Imagine having this design in your window.

This one has rainbow glass surrounded by black. Very pretty though. So lovely.

This one has rainbow glass surrounded by black. Very pretty though. So lovely.

68. For your fall garden, I suppose this scarecrow suncatcher would be nice.

I'm sure this won't scare any crows. But it'll look great in your garden even if it doesn't.

I’m sure this won’t scare any crows. But it’ll look great in your garden even if it doesn’t.

69. Looks like this suncatcher contains a couple of dragonflies.

Now this seems to be quite colorful. Love the glass pieces on this thing. So pretty.

Now this seems to be quite colorful. Love the glass pieces on this thing. So pretty.

70. You’d never come across a butterfly this beautiful.

This one is so lovely with the colorful spots and stripes. Not sure if there's a real butterfly that looks like this.

This one is so lovely with the colorful spots and stripes. Not sure if there’s a real butterfly that looks like this.

71. No one could resist this teddy bear suncatcher.

And here is one in their little pajama outfit. Probably used for a kids room. But it's so adorable.

And here is one in their little pajama outfit. Probably used for a kids room. But it’s so adorable.

72. How about a fish in a raindrop?

Okay, maybe I'm not a fan of fishing. But I have to admit this is pretty cool.

Okay, maybe I’m not a fan of fishing. But I have to admit this is pretty cool.

73. Here is an angel with a candle to protect you.

Must be a guardian angel motif. But this one has brilliant wings and an iridescent gown.

Must be a guardian angel motif. But this one has brilliant wings and an iridescent gown.

74. This panel has a rose in a vase.

For some reason this reminds me of the rose I've seen on Beauty and the Beast. Not sure why. Lovely though.

For some reason this reminds me of the rose I’ve seen on Beauty and the Beast. Not sure why. Lovely though.

75. Seems like this ship is already sailing the ocean blue.

Seems like this was based on some beautiful painting. Love how it seems so peaceful if you look at it long enough.

Seems like this was based on some beautiful painting. Love how it seems so peaceful if you look at it long enough.

76. This butterfly always seems to glimmer in the light.

Like how this butterfly looks like when you show it on the water on a sunny day. So pretty.

Like how this butterfly looks like when you show it on the water on a sunny day. So pretty.

77. Who knows what could shine with blue and white.

Yes, this is another abstract design. Like the white ring around the blue loops on this.

Yes, this is another abstract design. Like the white ring around the blue loops on this.

78. This suncatcher is called, “Love Shines.”

This one consist of a rainbow and a crystal heart. So beautiful.

This one consist of a rainbow and a crystal heart. So beautiful.

79. Seems like this heart was created from so many pieces.

Then again, that's probably the point. But you have to appreciate the craftsmanship with all the wire and colorful glass pieces inside.

Then again, that’s probably the point. But you have to appreciate the craftsmanship with all the wire and colorful glass pieces inside.

80. Each point of this 6 pointed star has a color of the rainbow.

Yes, I know I have a lot of rainbow stuff on this post. But who doesn't like rainbows? Seriously, I can't think of anyone.

Yes, I know I have a lot of rainbow stuff on this post. But who doesn’t like rainbows? Seriously, I can’t think of anyone.

The Windswept World of Wind Chimes

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A key decoration you might see outside buildings during the spring and summer are wind chimes. These are are a type of percussion instrument constructed from suspended tubes, rods, bells or other objects often made of metal or wood. They tend to be suspended along with a weight which the tubes or rods can strike when they or another wind catching surface are blown by the natural air movement outside. And since Southwestern Pennsylvania has no shortage of wind on most days, wind chimes tend to be popular as garden and porch ornaments around these parts. My grandmother particularly likes them as I’ve seen when I go to my grandparents’ house. However, while hanging wind chimes in the west began with the Romans, they’ve also been associated with decorating in India, China, and Japan. As of today, I tend to see a lot of wind chimes on sale. Yet, many of these tend to have the conventional look. So this is where I turn to Pinterest which brings me to a whole world of more creative wind chimes that many people made themselves. And I share some of these with you today.

  1. There’s something fishy about this one.
Well, the chimes on here are made from a ceramic fish. Not sure if the pieces fit together. But it's not bad.

Well, the chimes on here are made from a ceramic fish. Not sure if the pieces fit together. But it’s not bad.

2. Who knew you can make chimes from plastic bottles.

Sure they're probably from a craft store of some type. But they sure look pretty.

Sure they’re probably from a craft store of some type. But they sure look pretty.

3. A sun wind chime always has to have some bells.

Well, this one only has 3. I don't think this one was handmade. But I like it so it goes on this post.

Well, this one only has 3. I don’t think this one was handmade. But I like it so it goes on this post.

4. Some wind chimes have all jingles.

I bet this one makes a lot of noise when it's really windy out. In my area, I've known quite a few.

I bet this one makes a lot of noise when it’s really windy out. In my area, I’ve known quite a few.

5. Sometimes you have to top your wind chime with a mosaic flower.

I'm sure the chimes are attached at the flower. But the flower is so beautiful.

I’m sure the chimes are attached at the flower. But the flower is so beautiful.

6. The chimes on this one can be quite colorful.

These are shaped like feathers. But they're plastic because feathers don't make much of a sound.

These are shaped like feathers. But they’re plastic because feathers don’t make much of a sound.

7. Gold chimes sit quite well with a wire butterfly.

You see a lot of spring motifs with wind chimes. This wire butterfly has marbles for the colors.

You see a lot of spring motifs with wind chimes. This wire butterfly has marbles for the colors.

8. This owl has all the bells.

Bound to ring whenever the wind is blowing. Sure to be a hoot.

Bound to ring whenever the wind is blowing. Sure to be a hoot.

9. Sometimes chimes can take the shape of squared chains.

I'm sure this was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Not sure if I'd want to have this in a rainstorm. Probably not.

I’m sure this was made by someone with too much time on their hands. Not sure if I’d want to have this in a rainstorm. Probably not.

10. When it comes to chimes, you can’t go wrong with bottles.

Kind of resembles a flying saucers with large bottles attached in a bead mesh. But it's a wind chime and a rather large one at that.

Kind of resembles a flying saucers with large bottles attached in a bead mesh. But it’s a wind chime and a rather large one at that.

11. For more metal in wind chimes, you can always go with gears.

Not sure what the tubes are made out of. But the gears sure look nice in them. Great for any steampunk home.

Not sure what the tubes are made out of. But the gears sure look nice in them. Great for any steampunk home.

12. Who knew that you could put some bright crystals on a wind chime?

I think these crystals are fake and were bought at some craft store. Still, like how they shine and how they go well with this chime so well.

I think these crystals are fake and were bought at some craft store. Still, like how they shine and how they go well with this chime so well.

13. Pink chimes are fine for a light breeze.

You see a lot of crystal wind chimes like these. Sure it's beautiful. But it's probably quite delicate, too.

You see a lot of crystal wind chimes like these. Sure it’s beautiful. But it’s probably quite delicate, too.

14. When you can’t buy a wind chime, it helps to make one with beads.

This one apparently glimmers in the sunlight. Wonder how it would do in the rain. Only one way to find out.

This one apparently glimmers in the sunlight. Wonder how it would do in the rain. Only one way to find out.

15. A shell wind chime like this should always come with some bells and forks.

You tend to see a lot of cutlerly in wind chimes. Not sure if it enhances the aesthetic or brings out the sound.

You tend to see a lot of cutlerly in wind chimes. Not sure if it enhances the aesthetic or brings out the sound.

16. A wind chime like this one is great for hosting a garden tea party.

This one is a wind chime of a teapot with tea cups. But the best part about this one is that it's purple.

This one is a wind chime of a teapot with tea cups. But the best part about this one is that it’s purple.

17. I suppose this is a wind chime for anyone in a potting mood.

Yes, this wind chime is made from flower pots. Guess these won't be used for planting anymore.

Yes, this wind chime is made from flower pots. Guess these won’t be used for planting anymore.

18. Sometimes smaller heart wind chimes are better.

This one may seem quite delicate compared to the others. But at any rate, you have to love this one.

This one may seem quite delicate compared to the others. But at any rate, you have to love this one.

19. Beads and straw could always make a fine wind chime.

Well, this is different. Okay, that's probably wicker, not straw. Or is wicker straw? I'm confused.

Well, this is different. Okay, that’s probably wicker, not straw. Or is wicker straw? I’m confused.

20. There’s no lovelier wind chime than one with beads strung to a bottle.

Not sure if this is a great view. But you have to admire the craftsmanship on this. This is especially if the bottle is glass.

Not sure if this is a great view. But you have to admire the craftsmanship on this. This is especially if the bottle is glass.

21. All you need to make this wind chime are crystal beads and wire.

If it had a light in it, you'd almost think it was a lamp. However, it's certainly not.

If it had a light in it, you’d almost think it was a lamp. However, it’s certainly not.

22. When it comes to wind chimes, sometimes the chimes below can have quite the color.

Sometimes the chimes might not always look great at the top. But you have to admire the beads and string on this.

Sometimes the chimes might not always look great at the top. But you have to admire the beads and string on this.

23. When it comes to chime beads, it helps if you have a variety of colors.

Well, at least this one looks quite festive. Hate to see this one get tangled.

Well, at least this one looks quite festive. Hate to see this one get tangled.

24. Sometimes it helps that everything matches.

This one is pink with flowers all over it. Sure it's plastic but it's pretty.

This one is pink with flowers all over it. Sure it’s plastic but it’s pretty.

25. Who says you can’t put dragon flies on your chimes?

Dragonflies aren't the kind I'd have in mind for wind chimes. But these look great on the squares. Lovely.

Dragonflies aren’t the kind I’d have in mind for wind chimes. But these look great on the squares. Lovely.

26. On a wind chime like this, your heart is in chains.

As you see, all the links are in the shape of a heart. Looks quite rusty though.

As you see, all the links are in the shape of a heart. Looks quite rusty though.

27. If you like boating, then this wind chime should go great with your sailing ship.

Not sure if I'd want this on a boat during a hurricane. But it certainly looks rather maritime.

Not sure if I’d want this on a boat during a hurricane. But it certainly looks rather maritime.

28. Sometimes a chime can just be a bottomless bottle.

Well, this seems simple enough. Still, love the silver butterfly and the jingle.

Well, this seems simple enough. Still, love the silver butterfly and the jingle.

29. As far as wind chimes good, you can’t go wrong with ceramic tiles.

You can even paint some of them before you glaze them. Not sure if I'd want to put this one outside since I don't want to ruin it.

You can even paint some of them before you glaze them. Not sure if I’d want to put this one outside since I don’t want to ruin it.

30. Now this is the kind of wind chime for those with a green thumb.

This one has beads coming out from a watering can. Not sure why the wire ends are there. Probably for decoration.

This one has beads coming out from a watering can. Not sure why the wire ends are there. Probably for decoration.

31. For a wind chime that looks so antique, blue roses should give it an additional touch.

I don't think this is handmade. After all, the metal on this seems fairly manufactured. But I do think it's very beautiful.

I don’t think this is handmade. After all, the metal on this seems fairly manufactured. But I do think it’s very beautiful.

32. Sometimes all you need for a wind chime is a funnel cake pan and some necklace chains.

That has to be a large wind chime as far as I could see. Still you have to love the stuff they have for the chimes part.

That has to be a large wind chime as far as I could see. Still you have to love the stuff they have for the chimes part.

33. For an easier wind chime, just string some bead strands on a wooden stick.

The beads on these strands seem to follow a pattern. And each have a blue rectangle at the end.

The beads on these strands seem to follow a pattern. And each have a blue rectangle at the end.

34. If you like wind chimes, perhaps hang this one outside your kitchen window.

This one consists of a rolling pin and utensil chains. A bit large for any window, don't you think?

This one consists of a rolling pin and utensil chains. A bit large for any window, don’t you think?

35. What strung from this stick gives the illusion of rain.

This looks very pretty. Seems like someone really worked hard on this. But this appears quite delicate.

This looks very pretty. Seems like someone really worked hard on this. But this appears quite delicate.

36. This woman hung up her wind chime in a big way.

And I guess she did it with step ladder. Or crane. Definitely crane.

And I guess she did it with step ladder. Or crane. Definitely crane.

37. This wind chime holds the keys.

However, don't bet that any of these will fit in the locks. Because they were probably bought at a craft store.

However, don’t bet that any of these will fit in the locks. Because they were probably bought at a craft store.

38. It’s said that clanging cutlery can bring music to your ears.

I guess this one is more for the kitchen inclined. However, I have a better use of cutlery than putting it on wind chimes. It's called putting food in your mouth.

I guess this one is more for the kitchen inclined. However, I have a better use of cutlery than putting it on wind chimes. It’s called putting food in your mouth.

39. If you like dragonflies, this one should suit you.

Well, there's a dragonfly on top and pieces at the chime parts. Quite beautiful though.

Well, there’s a dragonfly on top and pieces at the chime parts. Quite beautiful though.

40. Well, this wind chime is quite festive.

Wow, this is so beautiful that I'd just want to keep it indoors 24/7. Because I don't want to rain to ruin it. And in my neck of the woods, you get that a lot.

Wow, this is so beautiful that I’d just want to keep it indoors 24/7. Because I don’t want to rain to ruin it. And in my neck of the woods, you get that a lot.

41. Sometimes a wind chime needs a little extra something.

Well, the ends of these are of some folding strainer from the kitchen. If that's what they call it.

Well, the ends of these are of some folding strainer from the kitchen. If that’s what they call it.

42. There’s something fishy about this wind chime.

Well, this one has a fish on top of all these chime pieces. And all in green and blue.

Well, this one has a fish on top of all these chime pieces. And all in green and blue.

43. For a wind chime like this, you can decorate it in any number of ways.

This one also has vibrant colors. Not as bright or vivid as some of the others. But lovely enough for me not to leave this one outside.

This one also has vibrant colors. Not as bright or vivid as some of the others. But lovely enough for me not to leave this one outside.

44. Seems like some wind chimes have all the bells.

And it seems like this one has lots of tiny ones. Wonder how long it took to make this.

And it seems like this one has lots of tiny ones. Wonder how long it took to make this.

45. You never know how many large beads you can string up for a wind chime.

These beads seem to resemble stones. Wonder if this wind chime is meant to represent a waterfall.

These beads seem to resemble stones. Wonder if this wind chime is meant to represent a waterfall.

46. I guess these rainbow pots aren’t for planting.

Yes, this is another flower pot wind chime. But this one has some bees and butterflies. So it's different than the other one I showed you.

Yes, this is another flower pot wind chime. But this one has some bees and butterflies. So it’s different than the other one I showed you.

47. Don’t know what to do with the extra silver? Make a wind chime out of it.

Yes, I'm sure this may look quite amazing. But on Downton Abbey, seeing this would make Carson flip out in anger. After all, you don't put a bullion spoon on a garden wind chime. At least on his watch.

Yes, I’m sure this may look quite amazing. But on Downton Abbey, seeing this would make Carson flip out in anger. After all, you don’t put a bullion spoon on a garden wind chime. At least on his watch.

48. Sometimes a wider wind chime makes all the difference.

Seems like this one was made from old jewels. Well, old costume jewels. So pretty.

Seems like this one was made from old jewels. Well, old costume jewels. So pretty.

49. For those who like nature, this wind chime will give you all the green you ask for.

Almost seems like a green moss fading into a white rock. Still, it's quite pretty.

Almost seems like a green moss fading into a white rock. Still, it’s quite pretty.

50. If you love purple flowers, you’d love this wind chime.

Not sure how it sounds when the wind blows. But this looks quite beautiful, especially since it's purple.

Not sure how it sounds when the wind blows. But this looks quite beautiful, especially since it’s purple.

51. For a colorful and flowery flair, you can’t go wrong with this wind chime.

Yes, I know it took a lot of time to make this. But I think this is better kept indoors since I wouldn't want to ruin it.

Yes, I know it took a lot of time to make this. But I think this is better kept indoors since I wouldn’t want to ruin it.

52. Nothing makes better music in the wind than a wind chime of goblets.

Wow, this is sure stunning. Also another way to piss off Carson on Downton Abbey.

Wow, this is sure stunning. Also another way to piss off Carson on Downton Abbey.

53. Sometimes what makes music in the wind has to glimmer in the sunlight.

Well, these look beautiful. Wonder if they're made of glass. If so, I wouldn't want to drop it.

Well, these look beautiful. Wonder if they’re made of glass. If so, I wouldn’t want to drop it.

54. When it comes to some wind chimes, it helps if the chime parts are part of the decoration.

These seem to be painted in flowers and they seem suspended on some kind of cage. Or that's as far as I see.

These seem to be painted in flowers and they seem suspended on some kind of cage. Or that’s as far as I see.

55. Nothing makes a more elegant wind chime than anything attached to a golden heart.

Well, this is strung on chains, color stones, and bells. Nevertheless, this is lovely.

Well, this is strung on chains, color stones, and bells. Nevertheless, this is lovely.

56. I’m sure your garden would look better with a wind chime of this colorful bird.

And yet, another wind chime I wouldn't want to expose to the elements outside. Very beautiful if I do say so myself.

And yet, another wind chime I wouldn’t want to expose to the elements outside. Very beautiful if I do say so myself.

57. Sometimes an old door knob makes a great wind chime.

Well, this almost looks crystal clear that you barely notice it through the window. Still, you have to love it.

Well, this almost looks crystal clear that you barely notice it through the window. Still, you have to love it.

58. If you live near the seashore, you might like a wind chime of shells.

Well, I guess these shells can make some kind of music. Nevertheless, I think it's quite creative.

Well, I guess these shells can make some kind of music. Nevertheless, I think it’s quite creative.

59. Sometimes you could make a lovely wind chime on vinyl.

However, before you use a vinyl record in a craft project, make sure it's one with horrible music on it that won't be missed. Let's just say there's a lot of bad records out there.

However, before you use a vinyl record in a craft project, make sure it’s one with horrible music on it that won’t be missed. Let’s just say there’s a lot of bad records out there.

60. Whoever thought you could make a wind chime from a silver dish?

And yet, another way to get Carson pissed off at you at Downton Abbey. To him, you don't use silver to make these fangled things.

And yet, another way to get Carson pissed off at you at Downton Abbey. To him, you don’t use silver to make these fangled things.

61. Got an old vase you don’t know what to do with? Make a wind chime out of it.

Well, this one is an upside down vase with a weight in it. Still, love the blue color.

Well, this one is an upside down vase with a weight in it. Still, love the blue color.

62. This wind chime is meant to bring out the colors of the rainbow.

This one has pieces that are linked for wind chime. And yes, it certainly looks pretty while gleaming in the sunlight.

This one has pieces that are linked for wind chime. And yes, it certainly looks pretty while gleaming in the sunlight.

63. You never know what you can make with a basket.

Apparently, you can make a rather cool wind chime with a basket. Simply breathtakingly lovely.

Apparently, you can make a rather cool wind chime with a basket. Simply breathtakingly lovely.

64. You never know what’s coming out of this pitcher.

Now this looks quite whimsical. Love how this one pours the flower out. Love the design on the pitcher, too.

Now this looks quite whimsical. Love how this one pours the flower out. Love the design on the pitcher, too.

65. This wind chime has a sailboat on the waves.

Well, this one has blue beads for water and fish to go with it. And it's topped with a glass sailboat, too.

Well, this one has blue beads for water and fish to go with it. And it’s topped with a glass sailboat, too.

66. This wind chime has to be as pretty as a peacock.

Because it's a peacock wind chime. And as we see, sound comes when the wind blows through the feathers.

Because it’s a peacock wind chime. And as we see, sound comes when the wind blows through the feathers.

67. I’m sure you’d want this wind chime on a bright, sunny day.

Because this one is of the sun and the chimes below are the rays. And yes, it sure looks bright.

Because this one is of the sun and the chimes below are the rays. And yes, it sure looks bright.

68. Such wind chimes like this are said to be as cute as a button.

This one consists of chimes that have buttons strung on them. And yes, this is pretty cool if you ask me.

This one consists of chimes that have buttons strung on them. And yes, this is pretty cool if you ask me.

69. Guess this one is serving tea for a few.

This wind chime uses cups, saucers, and spoons as bells. And yes, it's one you might see in a Wes Anderson movie.

This wind chime uses cups, saucers, and spoons as bells. And yes, it’s one you might see in a Wes Anderson movie.

70. As a wind chime, there’s nothing more radiant than a purple sunflower.

And radiant it is, indeed. This one is simply stunning, especially since it's mostly in purple.

And radiant it is, indeed. This one is simply stunning, especially since it’s mostly in purple.

71. Guess this wind chime brings so many fish in the sea.

Well, this looks quite interesting. Not sure if the top part is a jellyfish. Quite cool.

Well, this looks quite interesting. Not sure if the top part is a jellyfish. Quite cool.

72. While many wind chimes have celestial themes, you haven’t seen one like this.

Then again, you've probably seen one like this at every garden store. Still, you have to like this.

Then again, you’ve probably seen one like this at every garden store. Still, you have to like this.

73. This is the kind of wind chime for the patriotic at heart.

Well, if you're American, anyway. Then again, most of my views come from the States.

Well, if you’re American, anyway. Then again, most of my views come from the States.

74. Anyone who’s an artist at heart will enjoy a wind chime like this.

This is made up of so many shapes and colors. Nevertheless, this is so lovely.

This is made up of so many shapes and colors. Nevertheless, this is so lovely.

75. On top of a wind chime like this, you see a flower.

This one has the colors of the rainbow at the chimes. Like the flower design, too.

This one has the colors of the rainbow at the chimes. Like the flower design, too.

76. Sometimes it all starts with a stunning design.

This one has rainbow beads and a lovely design. Wonder how long it took to make this.

This one has rainbow beads and a lovely design. Wonder how long it took to make this.

77. If you love wind chimes, this painted butterfly one will delight your home.

This one is so intricately done. However, it's probably made of glass. Wouldn't want this one outside.

This one is so intricately done. However, it’s probably made of glass. Wouldn’t want this one outside.

78. If you love bells, this wind chime is for you.

This one also has a deer on top. And I'm sure you'd enjoy it.

This one also has a deer on top. And I’m sure you’d enjoy it.

79. On top of this is a colorful spiral.

Seems like whoever made this spent a lot of time painting the designs. Nevertheless, this is so radiant and stunning.

Seems like whoever made this spent a lot of time painting the designs. Nevertheless, this is so radiant and stunning.

80. This angelic wind chime is lined with beads of pink roses.

Sure this one probably wasn't hand made. But it's sure beautiful. Besides, who wouldn't want this.

Sure this one probably wasn’t hand made. But it’s sure beautiful. Besides, who wouldn’t want this.

The Quaint Gardening World of Greenhouses and Garden Sheds

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In some places while spring has sprung, here in Southwestern Pennsylvania, the weather has been so unpredictable that some of these April showers have become snow showers. And no, I’m not kidding about that. In fact, I woke up one morning to find my whole backyard covered in snow not too long ago. However, this chaotic weather has set people’s gardening schedule back for a few weeks as far as I know. Thankfully, for those who have them, you have greenhouses which are supposed to keep plants alive all year long. Or at least sprout them until they’re ready for the outside. In my house, my mom once grew some of her plants on a table in the basement under a light. We did have a place to keep plants outside near the herb garden but it didn’t hold. And let’s just say, my family is too poor for a greenhouse or a garden shed. But plenty of people do have them. And for this post, this is what I bring you.

  1. A small wooden shed with some light might give everything your plants need.
Except this doesn't seem to have sufficient walls for insulation. In my area, those are essential.

Except this doesn’t seem to have sufficient walls for insulation. In my area, those are essential.

2. Sometimes it helps if your garden shed goes well with the patio.

Wait, is there furniture in there? I thought garden sheds and greenhouses were supposed to be for plants. Not people.

Wait, is there furniture in there? I thought garden sheds and greenhouses were supposed to be for plants. Not people.

3. A wooden garden shed will always make a rustic garden addition.

If it's painted like this, all the better. Yes, it certainly looks quite quaint indeed. Like a storybook garden.

If it’s painted like this, all the better. Yes, it certainly looks quite quaint indeed. Like a storybook garden.

4. When it comes to greenhouses, only the grandest can suit Mr. and Mrs. Washington.

This is what the greenhouse looks like at Mount Vernon. I know it looks like a mansion. You get that.

This is what the greenhouse looks like at Mount Vernon. I know it looks like a mansion. You get that.

5. Nothing stands out in a garden like a shed of blue.

This is lovely. Wonder if it was made from a kit. But still, I like it.

This is lovely. Wonder if it was made from a kit. But still, I like it.

6. As we all know, red really shows up in a garden.

However, if you live where I do, bright colors aren't encouraged. Seriously, a building with bright colors will be seen as tacky.

However, if you live where I do, bright colors aren’t encouraged. Seriously, a building with bright colors will be seen as tacky.

7. A yellow garden shed like this will give you what you need.

This one seems rather small and simple. But I'm not sure about the color going well with the surroundings.

This one seems rather small and simple. But I’m not sure about the color going well with the surroundings.

8. As far as greenhouses go, this one is covered in vines.

However, you can bet this one won't look great in the winter. I can guarantee that since my front house is covered in ivy.

However, you can bet this one won’t look great in the winter. I can guarantee that since my front house is covered in ivy.

9. Sometimes in potting sheds it helps to start small.

Sure this one may look like a multi colored phone booth. But it's for plants.

Sure this one may look like a multi colored phone booth. But it’s for plants.

10. Of course, you can always go with a rustic touch.

To me, it seems like a lovely garden shed. To others, it's a mere shack. To my dad, it's a waste of firewood.

To me, it seems like a lovely garden shed. To others, it’s a mere shack. To my dad, it’s a waste of firewood.

11. If you need a step up, this might be what you need.

Yes, it's a little small. But it sure looks quite lovely in a garden and quite homey.

Yes, it’s a little small. But it sure looks quite lovely in a garden and quite homey, too.

12. Sure this shed might not seem like much, but it’ll do.

Yes, I know it's not suited for Southwestern Pennsylvania weather. But you have to admire its construction.

Yes, I know it’s not suited for Southwestern Pennsylvania weather. But you have to admire its construction.

13. With this one, you can always open the windows for a little light.

And you can shut them if it gets too cold outside for the plants. Nevertheless, love the colors on this one.

And you can shut them if it gets too cold outside for the plants. Nevertheless, love the colors on this one.

14. Have an old edifice on your property? Make a greenhouse out of it.

Well, Pinterest says this was an old barn. Still, love what they did with it, especially how they added the windows.

Well, Pinterest says this was an old barn. Still, love what they did with it, especially how they added the windows.

15. As we all know, every greenhouse needs windows.

And this one has windows all on one side so the plants can get their fill of sunlight. Wonder if this is a shop. Wouldn't be surprised.

And this one has windows all on one side so the plants can get their fill of sunlight. Wonder if this is a shop. Wouldn’t be surprised.

16. Who says that a small garden shed can’t have style?

I guess this one is supposed to match the house. However, I really like the top windows and roof. Very intricate.

I guess this one is supposed to match the house. However, I really like the top windows and roof. Very intricate.

17. Sometimes a small white shed is a simple place to rest.

Sure it's not much to look at. But I think it goes very well with the garden surroundings.

Sure it’s not much to look at. But I think it goes very well with the garden surroundings.

18. This is just an old wooden shed.

This one looks quite old and is probably just used for tools. Guess there are no plants here.

This one looks quite old and is probably just used for tools. Guess there are no plants here.

19. In the Victorian Era, some estates had grand greenhouses to behold.

However, this one hasn't been used for decades. And it has been abandoned as well as fallen into disrepair.

However, this one hasn’t been used for decades. And it has been abandoned as well as fallen into disrepair.

20. Sometimes wooden siding can make a lot of difference.

Yes, it's a bit small with a few windows. But at least the plants would love it in there.

Yes, it’s a bit small with a few windows. But at least the plants would love it in there.

21. It’s always said that some plants do well in the shade.

Well, this shed looks as colorful as it is rustic. Love the roof and the stonework outside.

Well, this shed looks as colorful as it is rustic. Love the roof and the stonework outside.

22. When it comes to building a greenhouse, all you need are wood and windows.

Sure it's an unconventional shape as you see. But hey, it works. So you can't complain.

Sure it’s an unconventional shape as you see. But hey, it works. So you can’t complain.

23. Who says a garden shed can’t have an ornate porch?

This one looks old and almost abandoned. Well, if it wasn't for the light and flowers. Beautiful though.

This one looks old and almost abandoned. Well, if it wasn’t for the light and flowers. Beautiful though.

24. For a greenhouse, a glass one is utter perfection.

Sure this one appears to be made from windows which may not be very sturdy. But will sure let the light in.

Sure this one appears to be made from windows which may not be very sturdy. But will sure let the light in.

25. This one may not have much walls but provides plenty of shade.

This one looks quite quaint. Probably not suited for where I live. But I like it.

This one looks quite quaint. Probably not suited for where I live. But I like it.

26. Bright red always creates a rustic feel.

This one seems decorated for fall. But I do like how the roof and the doors stand out.

This one seems decorated for fall. But I do like how the roof and the doors stand out.

27. It always helps if a garden shed is surrounded by your garden flora.

Not sure about the plants growing on the shed. But it sure looks pretty. Like the door and windows.

Not sure about the plants growing on the shed. But it sure looks pretty. Like the door and windows.

28. A garden shed like this one is quite quaint and adorable.

I don't think this was an old schoolhouse as Pinterest might imply. But I'm sure it goes quite well with its garden surroundings.

I don’t think this was an old schoolhouse as Pinterest might imply. But I’m sure it goes quite well with its garden surroundings.

29. A pink garden shed always goes well with the peonies.

This one even has a heart on the roof. Yes, it looks like something a little girl might design. Well, if it wasn't a garden shed.

This one even has a heart on the roof. Yes, it looks like something a little girl might design. Well, if it wasn’t a garden shed.

30. This greenhouse will always float your boat.

Wonder what they keep in there. Water plants? I think this one might be from England but I'm not sure.

Wonder what they keep in there. Water plants? I think this one might be from England but I’m not sure.

31. A greenhouse sure would look splendid with a nice brass roof.

Wonder how old this one is. Hope the roof doesn't get rusty. Because this one is quite beautiful.

Wonder how old this one is. Hope the roof doesn’t get rusty. Because this one is quite beautiful.

32. Sometimes a flat roof greenhouse is all you need.

I like the door on this. Very intricate to say the least. Not sure about the building shape.

I like the door on this. Very intricate to say the least. Not sure about the building shape.

33. A greenhouse always needs some glass and a nice canopy.

Sure it might resemble a fancy pavilion. But I'm not sure if the walls are of glass or thin air.

Sure it might resemble a fancy pavilion. But I’m not sure if the walls are of glass or thin air.

34. Sometimes you can put all your tools in a small white garden shed.

Sometimes the lines between garden sheds and greenhouses are blurred. Sometimes not. Still, I think this is pretty.

Sometimes the lines between garden sheds and greenhouses are blurred. Sometimes not. Still, I think this is pretty.

35. Sometimes a garden shed could use a wooden tower.

Except for the light inside, this one seems nearly abandoned. Then again, the look is probably intentional.

Except for the light inside, this one seems nearly abandoned. Then again, the look is probably intentional.

36. You can build a greenhouse with old windows.

Well, it doesn't look like much. But if you're growing plants, sometimes design doesn't matter.

Well, it doesn’t look like much. But if you’re growing plants, sometimes design doesn’t matter.

37. For greenhouses, a weather vane makes a fine finishing touch.

This one consists of mostly windows. But this looks quite quaint and rustic for any country garden.

This one consists of mostly windows. But this looks quite quaint and rustic for any country garden.

38. It doesn’t hurt if you build a greenhouse at the side of a rock.

Yet another Victorian greenhouse that's abandoned. But at least this one has plants in them.

Yet another Victorian greenhouse that’s abandoned. But at least this one has plants in them.

39. Who says a garden shed can’t have porch and pots outside?

Yes, it looks as if it's an abandoned shack in a garden. Well, if it weren't for the blooming flowers.

Yes, it looks as if it’s an abandoned shack in a garden. Well, if it weren’t for the blooming flowers.

40. Sometimes on a brick shed, a toadstool roof will do.

I think this is an old picture of a garden shed. However, it should be perfect if you have a fairy tale like house.

I think this is an old picture of a garden shed. However, it should be perfect if you have a fairy tale like house.

41. A blue greenhouse always looks lovely with some flowers on it.

Well, the flowers are on the roof. But this looks quite lovely if you ask me.

Well, the flowers are on the roof. But this looks quite lovely if you ask me.

42. Sometimes you just have to have a greenhouse to go with the patio.

Love the woodwork on this. Love how it matches the greenhouse and the furniture.

Love the woodwork on this. Love how it matches the greenhouse and the furniture.

43. If you want your greenhouse to stand out, use bright colors.

Well, this certainly goes well with the garden. However, in my area, this wouldn't fly.

Well, this certainly goes well with the garden. However, in my area, this wouldn’t fly.

44. Sometimes a small blue garden shed with red windows will do just fine.

Like how they have boxes for yellow flowers. Like the walls on this, too.

Like how they have boxes for yellow flowers. Like the walls on this, too.

45. A greenhouse always seems rustic with green trimmings.

Well, the siding doesn't seem remarkable. But I do think this lovely, especially near the flowers.

Well, the siding doesn’t seem remarkable. But I do think this lovely, especially near the flowers.

46. Nothing makes a better garden shed unless it’s covered with vines.

Yes, the wood doesn't seem the greatest. But you have to love the ivy on this thing. Lovely.

Yes, the wood doesn’t seem the greatest. But you have to love the ivy on this thing. Lovely.

47. There’s nothing more quaint than a greenhouse of stone and stucco.

This has wooden frame windows and a small balcony. Love the roof on this, too.

This has wooden frame windows and a small balcony. Love the roof on this, too.

48. A greenhouse always looks rustic with wooden window frames.

Sure it might look quite small. But it surely looks lovely next to these garden plots.

Sure it might look quite small. But it surely looks lovely next to these garden plots.

49. A glass section is great for a greenhouse like this.

Yes, I know it kind of seems fairly modern. But I think it's lovely in its own way.

Yes, I know it kind of seems fairly modern. But I think it’s lovely in its own way.

50. A red roof is always a fine addition on a garden shed.

This one has a red shingle roof. Also has some vines growing on it. Lovely.

This one has a red shingle roof. Also has some vines growing on it. Lovely.

51. This greenhouse uses a quaint glass dome for plants.

Not sure if it's an old greenhouse design. But I do think it's very beautiful.

Not sure if it’s an old greenhouse design. But I do think it’s very beautiful.

52. Window walls and roofs a good greenhouse make.

Seems like the only non-window fixtures here are two large wooden doors. Still, quite quaint.

Seems like the only non-window fixtures here are two large wooden doors. Still, quite quaint.

53. Flowers can always stand out in a white greenhouse.

This one has a lovely flowers out front. But it seems to glimmer in the sunlight like a marble statue.

This one has a lovely flowers out front. But it seems to glimmer in the sunlight like a marble statue.

54. A small brick garden shed always looks great on the patio.

I know it looks old and run down. But it sure goes well with its surroundings.

I know it looks old and run down. But it sure goes well with its surroundings.

55. Doesn’t hurt to set plants on a garden shed of wooden siding.

Well, it certainly resembles a little cabin. But it has so many windows with white frames and a shingle roof.

Well, it certainly resembles a little cabin. But it has so many windows with white frames and a shingle roof.

56. For some greenhouses, they ‘d sure go great with the patio.

Not sure if was made from a kit. But it sure looks quite beautiful. Love the glass roof.

Not sure if was made from a kit. But it sure looks quite beautiful. Love the glass roof.

57. A quaint wooden garden shed always needs an archway entrance.

Not sure what's in here. But I do like the green trim on this building.

Not sure what’s in here. But I do like the green trim on this building.

58. There’s nothing more quaint than a garden shed of white and red.

This is made from aluminum that's painted on. When it's sunny, some of these white walls tend to look pink.

This is made from aluminum that’s painted on. When it’s sunny, some of these white walls tend to look pink.

59. A curved roof always looks lovely on a greenhouse.

The curved roof sort of gives an East Asian flair. But the windows look nice on this one, too.

The curved roof sort of gives an East Asian flair. But the windows look nice on this one, too.

60. A greenhouse like this always seems one with nature.

Yes, it looks like a small, quirky cabin. And it has tree furniture to go with it.

Yes, it looks like a small, quirky cabin. And it has tree furniture to go with it.

61. A blue garden shed will always be lovely at the end of the garden path.

And this one appears to be covered in ivy. Love the garden surrounding it though.

And this one appears to be covered in ivy. Love the garden surrounding it though.

62. Pink and blue windows always go well on a greenhouse.

Wonder what this one looks like with the lights coming from inside. Must be magnificent.

Wonder what this one looks like with the lights coming from inside. Must be magnificent.

63. This small garden shed has its own little porch.

Well, seems like this was made from a kit. Probably could only fit plants and tools. But it's quaint.

Well, seems like this was made from a kit. Probably could only fit plants and tools. But it’s quaint.

64. A white greenhouse could always use a red shingled roof.

This is very beautiful, especially under the blue sky. Love the plants nearby.

This is very beautiful, especially under the blue sky. Love the plants nearby.

65. A yellow garden shed goes well with a sprawling wildflower patch.

Well, I think this shed makes the garden seem more sunny. Love the window frames.

Well, I think this shed makes the garden seem more sunny. Love the window frames.

66. To protect your plants, put them in high places.

This is a greenhouse tree house if you will. Nevertheless, it looks completely stunning in its surroundings.

This is a greenhouse tree house if you will. Nevertheless, it looks completely stunning in its surroundings.

67. No greenhouse is complete without a metal roof.

Mostly because metal is effective at absorbing heat. Also beats assembling shingles.

Mostly because metal is effective at absorbing heat. Also beats assembling shingles.

68. A greenhouse doesn’t always have to be big to keep plants.

This one was made of old windows. And it fits in a garden box.

This one was made of old windows. And it fits in a garden box.

69. Never seen a garden shed with a roof like this one.

Are those shingles? Sure looks like it. Still, love the door on this building.

Are those shingles? Sure looks like it. Still, love the door on this building.

70. Any lovely greenhouse can always use a few columns.

I suppose this is another Victorian greenhouse. And it seems abandoned. But it's in better shape than the other ones I've shown.

I suppose this is another Victorian greenhouse. And it seems abandoned. But it’s in better shape than the other ones I’ve shown.

71. Guess this one is black, white, and red all over.

Love how the black trimmings stand out with the red. The white windows look great, too.

Love how the black trimmings stand out with the red. The white windows look great, too.

72. A green garden shed sure looks lovely covered with snow.

Seems like the white roof goes well with the snow on the ground. Of course, it might also be covered in snow, too.

Seems like the white roof goes well with the snow on the ground. Of course, it might also be covered in snow, too.

73. A wooden shed can always use a few flower boxes.

Well, it's quite small. But it does look quite pretty with the flowers being planted in it.

Well, it’s quite small. But it does look quite pretty with the flowers being planted in it.

74. A greenhouse could be made from windows and doors lying about.

Well, this one might seem like a shack. But I'm sure the plants would love the light coming through the windows and doors.

Well, this one might seem like a shack. But I’m sure the plants would love the light coming through the windows and doors.

75. A stone garden shed always has to have a roof of sod.

Well, it's not quite grass and it's not quite hay. So it's sod at least in my opinion.

Well, it’s not quite grass and it’s not quite hay. So it’s sod at least in my opinion.

76. Nothing makes a lovely garden shed than a whimsical purple one.

The roof seems rather unusual on this one. But you have to love how its color goes with the flowers.

The roof seems rather unusual on this one. But you have to love how its color goes with the flowers.

77. A greenhouse of metal and glass can never be as ornate as this.

This one is either quite old or built by someone with too much time on their hands. Man, you have to love the designs on this.

This one is either quite old or built by someone with too much time on their hands. Man, you have to love the designs on this.

78. Sometimes a garden shed needs a few pink touches.

This is rustic enough for a garden. And it has some pink in the windows to stand out and blend with the flowers.

This is rustic enough for a garden. And it has some pink in the windows to stand out and blend with the flowers.

79. A stone garden shed can always blend in with any garden landscape.

And sometimes the garden shed might become part of the garden. But it's away from the main part as you can see.

And sometimes the garden shed might become part of the garden. But it’s away from the main part as you can see.

80. For a large impression, you cant’ go wrong with an octagon greenhouse in your garden.

Of course, you'd have to have a lot of money for this. But I'm sure it'll provide the kind of insulation your plants need in cold weather.

Of course, you’d have to have a lot of money for this. But I’m sure it’ll provide the kind of insulation your plants need in cold weather.

The Mysterious World of Crop Circles

crop-circles

For years, there has been wide speculation pertaining to some supposedly unexplained phenomenon called crop circles. These are created by flattening a crop in some sort of pattern, usually a cereal grain like wheat, barley, corn, oats, and rice. The earliest records of crop circles have appeared in the 1600s but there’s been a huge surge of such sightings since the 1970s. Though many attribute the formation of crop circles as originating from obscure natural cause and extra terrestrials, it’s not as mysterious as most people think. Because they’re usually considered hoaxes. We know this because there were people who admitted to making such designs. Some of them are pranksters who aim to fool conspiracy theorists and devotees of Ancient Aliens. Some are people who like to express themselves through landscaping as a hobby. Some are working for advertisers. And some do it for whatever. But whatever the reason, this doesn’t mean we can’t have a lot of fun with them. So for your reading pleasure, here I give you an insight into the mysterious world of crop circles.

  1. This one seems to make you go around in circles.
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Guess some landscaping inspiring farmer’s kid had too much time on their hands. But yes, there are crop circles like this.

2. Guess the extra-terrestrials left their calling card.

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Just kidding about that one. Nevertheless, it does seem like you’d find this as some sort of logo from Star Trek. Or on some corporation.

3. Wonder what these sea creatures are.

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Well, assuming they are sea creatures. They could be aliens for all I care. Guess it’s up to what the artist originally intended.

4. Hard to believe that some insects have squared wings.

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Didn’t know the wings could be braided either. Still, rather inventive if you ask me.

5. Sometime the field just has to match the barn.

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Yes, this one kind of reminds me of a barn design for some reason. But I don’t know why.

6. Hmmm…now that’s a rather strange looking flower.

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Not a lot of crop circles have color in them, other than green. But this one is a resounding exception. Nevertheless, it’s lovely.

7. I’m sure anyone would be familiar with what this corn maze is celebrating.

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Sure it’s a corn maze but it counts as field art. So it’s on the post. Besides, it’s also a tribute to NASA.

8. Doesn’t hurt to have a crescent in the center of the crop circle.

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Yes, I know that plenty of these are in geometric designs. That’s because they’re probably the easiest to do and take the least amount of time.

9. Let’s build a palace on the field.

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Well, I know it’s flat but it sure looks pretty. Kind of reminds me of something from a fairy tale for some reason.

10. Seems like a sun always has to be in the center.

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Sometimes you have to wonder how these were made. This is especially so when you consider some of the fine details like on this one.

11. A design like this is bound to make you see stars.

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This one has two 5 pointed ones with one inside another. But you can’t deny its star power in any case.

12. Guess a crop circle like this might lead to a tunnel of some sort.

3d-crop-circle-2

Guess 3D illusion art works well in the field medium, too. Nevertheless, aerial photography still has to capture the effect.

13. Sometimes jagged lines can give an extra added effect.

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Kind of reminds me of a shield you’d see from Ancient Greece. Of course, such shields are much smaller than this image.

14. You may never know what you might find in an open field.

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Now this seems like something you might find in a painting. But I guess it took a lot longer to create. Hope it makes the farmer happy.

15. Did you ever wonder how many circles could fit into a 6 pointed star?

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Apparently, quite a lot as far as this design is concerned. Then again, it might depend on the size of the circles.

16. When you need something extra, it helps to add an eye in the center.

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Of course, this one is bound to drive conspiracy theorists and UFO enthusiasts wild. I’m sure they’ll have all kinds of explanations for this one.

17. What kind of message is this supposed to be?

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thin it’s a column of numbers with dashes. To me, it reads “32-953.” Well, according to my interpretation.

18. Looks like these crop circles are all connected.

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And I guess some of these circles are partially filled as far as I could see. Still, pretty neat design if you ask me.

19. Some do crop circles. Others do squiggly lines in the fields.

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Yeah, I know that not ever picture I show is necessarily a “crop circle.” Sometimes I’m just trying to show what kind of art stuff people do in the fields.

20. Speaking of squiggly lines, this one seems to take the cake.

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Again, I’m not sure how people do these things since they seem to take an awful long time. And you’ll just have to take my word for it.

21. Inside a crop circle, you can put as many circles and other shapes as you like.

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This one has several circles and pentagons. Yet, only one star in the center. Seems appropriate enough.

22. At times, crop circles can give some resemblance to a fancy rattle.

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Well, seems like whoever made this wanted the 2 circles connected. Not sure how long it took, though.

23. From a field a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

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Yes, this is a Star Wars corn maze that any fan might want to see. Sure it’s no crop circle. But I couldn’t pass this one up for obvious reasons.

24. Funny, how this one reminds me of a snowflake.

crop-circle-at-white-sleet-hill-near-mere-wiltshire-25th-june-2010

Guess making crop circles is a group effort. Might explain a lot since it’s said that it doesn’t take long for them to appear. This according to Wikipedia.

25. How about a corn maze to really bring in the magic?

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This one is a tribute to Harry Potter. But with two Harry Potters for twice the magic. Don’t think the photo got the whole thing though.

26. Sorry, but I have no idea what can produce a giant footprint like that.

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Now that’s a huge footprint. Not sure if it was made by the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk or the Jolly Green Giant.

27. Guess people might suspect the Illuminati nearby if they see this.

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By the way, this is in a field in Highclere, the place where Highclere Castle is located. You know, the one that serves as Downton Abbey. Not sure what the Crawleys will think about this.

28. As far as lines go, this one has a little bit of everything.

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Seems like this has only a circle and a bunch of line designs for the fun of it. Like the swirl on this one though.

29. Apparently, Klingon warriors take well to the Earth’s countryside.

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That, or whoever created this is very into Star Trek. Because that really resembles a Klingon logo.

30. Of course, some fields can always go Mesoamerican.

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This is said to be an Aztec eagle design. But I highly doubt it. Because to me, it seems to resemble an eagle from the Nazca lines.

31. As far as I know, the designs on this circle are squared.

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Guess this was either a group effort or someone having too much time on their hands. Perhaps we’ll never know for sure.

32. Seems like the aliens have sent us a message we could understand.

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And it somehow doesn’t seem like much by the looks of it. Okay, I was just kidding about that one.

33. Don’t look now, but I think there’s a giant bug on the loose.

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Or so it looks like it. Then again, it can be an abstract design for all I care. Sometimes you don’t know what these crop circles are supposed to be.

34. Seems like this was made entirely from circles.

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Let me see, it appears that they did the design first. Then filled all the spaces they wanted to fill. Or so it seems.

35. Now that is one crazy looking mushroom.

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Never seen a shroom like that before. Then again, it might resemble one that’s close up. Or not.

36. For crop circles, some can range from dark and light.

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Man, that really stands out in the field. That, or the plane was very close to it while taking a picture.

37. How about try a figure eight?

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Yes, that’s a figure 8 all right. Wonder how long it took to make that. Love the design with the circles.

38. Guess some guy finally got the nerve to pop the question.

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Let’s hope Laura says yes to this guy. Otherwise, all that time and energy to make this crop circle would be wasted.

39. “It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A! It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!”

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To be fair, this is an organization that has a youth athletics facility. Nevertheless, when I hear about the YMCA, I think about that song. Almost every time.

40. Perhaps a line of crop circles is more like it.

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Okay, one of them is a heart. And another is an eye. But you get the idea as I described.

41. Sometimes fields are great for 3 dimensional shapes.

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This one appears to be of an 8 point star made from triangles entangled with each other. Well, as far as I see it.

42. You can always do a good eagle on the field with a circle.

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Okay, I know it’s supposed to resemble an eagle. But to me it seems like it has ears and a beak that’s askew. Wonder if this image is used for a band.

43. Before you make a crop design, make sure it’s on the field that’s all one color.

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Because apparently, while this design is of a nice looking flower, it doesn’t look right when it’s partly green and partly golden brown. Not sure how that came to be.

44. Not sure what conspiracy theorists might think about this design.

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This one seems quite intricate if you ask me. Probably stands for nothing of significance, but you never know.

45. Seems like the palace I showed earlier had something else above it.

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And it has a lot color, too as it appears to be. Then again, it might be photoshopped in. Not that it makes a difference.

46. Sometimes there’s no limit to going around in circles.

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Now this is a lovely crop circle design. Love the flower in the center. Not sure how long it took to make that.

47. Guess the aliens were for Obama the whole time.

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Okay, I was just kidding. But still, this is a crop image of an iconic picture so it goes on this post.

48. Some designs seem to float on a field like jellyfish in the ocean.

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Hey, this one looks like a jellyfish, which looks pretty cool. Yes, crop circles can be quite amazing, indeed.

49. Looks like a caterpillar came out of a worm hole.

Alien Wormhole Crop Circle  at Boreham Woods, near Lockeridge, Wiltshire  5th July 2012

Hate to say this but this little caterpillar kind of looks a bit mean. Still, I think this one is pretty clever.

50. So I guess aliens are among us after all.

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Okay, I’m sure it’s a prank because most of these crop circles are hoaxes. But this is pretty good.

51. Of course, crop circles don’t just make worms or caterpillars.

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I may not like ants. But I think this is pretty creative if you ask me.

52. Seems like there’s a large dragonfly on the field.

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Seems like this dragonfly has a lot of crop circles. Yet, it has 2 pairs of green wings.

53. When it comes to crop circles, you can’t go wrong with Yin Yang signs.

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For some reason, you see a lot of Yin Yang signs on these crop circles. It’s a Chinese symbol. Yet, that doesn’t stop UFO enthusiasts from thinking these things were created by aliens.

54. If you’ve got a friend in Jesus, check out this crop circle cross.

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Yes, this is a braided Christian crop circle cross. And it’s amazing. Yet, that doesn’t stop people from thinking that they’re made by the devil. Newsflash: they’re not.

55. If you’re into Ancient Egyptian lore, this scarab crop circle might suit your fancy.

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Now I’m sure if the Egyptians had surplus crops, they’d do something like this. Then again, probably not. But this is cool.

56. Those into the cryptid scene, might enjoy this crop image of Mothman.

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Wonder what the conspiracy theorists might be thinking about this. Of course, the movie about the mothman prophecies is pretty stupid. And I’ve seen it.

57. “West Virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country roads…”

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Yes, I know it’s a corn maze of West Virginia, a state I tend to make fun of at times. But there are times you have to take what you can get.

58. If you like NASA, you can’t do better with a Mars Rover.

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Yes, this is another NASA corn maze. But it’s one of the Mars Rover. And who doesn’t like the Mars Rover?

59. Sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go.

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Of course, sometimes you might need to go at the most inconvenient time. Like when you’re waiting for your ride and there’s no bathroom in sight.

60. Okay, seems like the aliens are just screwing with us.

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Yes, they have crop circles like these. Just so to let you know, I have one of these on this post.

61. Not sure if it’s right to have a cow in the fields.

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This one’s from Germany, believe it or not. Still, I think it’s quite charming.

62. Looks like someone’s playing a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.

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And it seems someone got 3 in a row in 3 x’s. The o’s never seemed to have a chance.

63. How about a nice, big tree?

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Hey, that’s not half-bad. In fact, that’s better than what I could even draw on paper, let alone do a crop circle of it.

64. Sometimes a sun needs a few surroundings.

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Man, you have to wonder how they managed to do this design. Still, it’s very lovely from a view like this.

65. Looks as if a flock of birds just flew in.

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Birds tend to have a significant presence in crop circles as well. Nevertheless, these seem like they’re flying straight toward you.

66. “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

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Yes, this is another NASA corn maze. But it’s one that pays tribute to the moon landing, which was a proud moment for mankind. Goes on post.

67. On that note, say hello to the International Space Station.

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I know it’s my 4th NASA corn maze. But this is the International Space Station we’re talking about. And it wasn’t just built by NASA either.

68. Sometimes it helps if you put all the crop circles in a spiral.

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Now this looks like a rather stunning display. Wonder how long it took to pull this off.

69. As far as birds go, a hummingbird is as good as any.

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Okay. I’m sure this is in the style of Nazca line art by the looks of it. Yet, it’s still pretty awesome.

70. When it comes to putting a face on the moon, it helps to put a spiral along with it.

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This looks pretty charming. Of course, the moon and the spiral are encased in a crop circle sun.

71. Occasionally, there may be times you need to use a lighter shade.

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And this one is meant to have a shadow effect of some sorts. Nevertheless, I think it’s pretty cool.

72. It appears to me that this alien is on something at the moment.

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Apparently, when an alien gets high, circles seem to appear from around it. Nevertheless, this is pretty clever.

73. Looks like this guy might want to watch where he sits.

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Yeah, you don’t want to sit where there’s an explosive. It won’t end well, I guarantee it.

74. Seems like a few aliens might have a few things to say about Earth.

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Well, the message is indecipherable since it was probably written by some prankster with too much time on their hands. Yet, this is a very intricate design.

75. Okay, an alien just had to be here.

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However, keep in mind that when you see this sign, you might come home to your whole hometown leveled. Believe me, I’ve seen Man of Steel.

76. Now this seems like a weird looking shape.

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Well, this is a 4 point star. And a rather funky looking one at that. Notice its squiggly points.

77. Seems like Olympic fever spans out of this world.

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I think this one was made for the 2012 Olympics when London hosted. By the way, a lot of these are done in Britain, just so you know.

78. Of course, it’s not just people on earth who like Hello Kitty.

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Yeah, you get images like that with crop circles. I’m sure aliens would certainly be aware of Hello Kitty. Probably not.

79. I guess there are female silhouette figures out there.

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Well, at least one with boobs. Anyway, this one is supposed to be a goddess figure, which kind of makes sense.

80. Seems like this one has an owl coming out of it.

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Well, it has an owl face at any rate. Nevertheless, I think it’s nice to look at from a bird’s eye view.

Spooktacular Fun with Halloween Inflatable Decorations

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Now inflatable decorations are a recent phenomenon and more or less associated with Christmas. However, Halloween isn’t far behind since it’s a very popular holiday. And there are plenty of people who go way out for the holiday as well. So it’s not hard for the manufacturers to realize that there’s a market for them. Besides, many places tend to have trick or treaters so it helps that people’s homes be as Halloweeny or scary as possible. After all, when it comes to decorations, Halloween and Christmas are the two biggest occasions. Valentines and Easter you can take or leave. Still, while some decorations could be quite scary, I’m not sure what to think about inflatables on people’s yards. I mean it really doesn’t cost much to make your outdoor lawn scary to begin with. You can make a lot of scary stuff with simple materials from a craft store or old junk from home, reuse Christmas lights, carve pumpkins, and buy some other decorations at just about anywhere. I released earlier depicting exactly certain examples like someone using dresses or chicken wire for ghosts. I mean you can really get creative. But if you want a skeleton in your yard, I’d recommend that you don’t dig one up from the cemetery or a science classroom. Just buy a plastic one online or at a store. It’s just legally safer that way. Nevertheless, on the other hand, inflatable decorations are expensive, take more time to set up and take down, and are cartoonish. And let’s just say anything cartoonish is usually not scary. Still, I can show some of the better Halloween decorations. But you’d be bored to tears so I’ll show you some of the stuff that’s either tacky or doesn’t make sense. So for your reading pleasure here is an assortment of some crazy Halloween inflatables that you might see on someone’s yard.

  1. Here we start at party central where we meet a friendly Frankenstein monster and cat.
Yes, they seem to be rather friendly hanging out together. Of course, doesn't make either very scary. Does it?

Yes, they seem to be rather friendly hanging out together. Of course, doesn’t make either very scary. Does it?

2. Specimen 1 says, “Welcome.”

Not sure what aliens have to do with Halloween. Then again, aliens and the paranormal tend to be lumped in the same subject matter as you'd see from the History Channel. Still, seems quite friendly.

Not sure what aliens have to do with Halloween. Then again, aliens and the paranormal tend to be lumped in the same subject matter as you’d see from the History Channel. Still, seems quite friendly.

3. Looks like somebody’s mummy needs some toilet paper.

Like what the outhouse says, "Smells like someone died in there." Guess that the mummy must've taken a big dump. Wait a minute, why would a mummy need to take a shit?

Like what the outhouse says, “Smells like someone died in there.” Guess that the mummy must’ve taken a big dump. Wait a minute, why would a mummy need to take a shit?

4. Death comes to your yard in a 3-wheeler.

Not sure about the eyeball decoration in the front. Still, at least he has a nice roof on it.

Not sure about the eyeball decoration in the front. Still, at least it’s purple, has a nice roof, and badass green and yellow flames.

5. “Happy Halloween” from the cute little owl.

Yes, it's supposed to be an owl. I know it looks like a pumpkin with yellow wings as well as a beak, eyes, and feet. But it's supposed to be an owl.

Yes, it’s supposed to be an owl. I know it looks like a pumpkin with yellow wings as well as a beak, eyes, and feet. But it’s supposed to be an owl.

6. Of course, everyone must travel to the party in style like in a horse drawn hears.

And I see the coachman is a skeleton in a top hat. And the passenger is a corpse in its own casket. Looks like something startled the horse.

And I see the coachman is a skeleton in a top hat. And the passenger is a corpse in its own casket. Looks like something startled the horse.

7. These ghosts seem to have a lot of haunted fun in their haunted tree house.

I kind of expected a haunted tree house to be more decrepit and abandoned looking. Not in red and purple. Also, seems like the tree isn't too happy about the ghosts being around.

I kind of expected a haunted tree house to be more decrepit and abandoned looking. Not in red and purple. Also, seems like the tree isn’t too happy about the ghosts being around.

8. For haunting outdoors, it’s best that the scary organist bring his instrument from a horse drawn vehicle.

Of course, in real life, organs tend to take up whole rooms and can't be carried. However, somehow this organ is compact and portable for transport.

Of course, in real life, organs tend to take up whole rooms and can’t be carried. However, somehow this organ is compact and portable for transport.

9. On Halloween, pumpkin coach is a stylish mode of transportation.

Now this would be great for an Undead Cinderella themed ball. Think of it as Cinderella with zombies, vampires, skeletons, and other undead beings.

Now this would be great for an Undead Cinderella themed ball. Think of it as Cinderella with zombies, vampires, skeletons, and other undead beings.

10. Whenever this witch goes to a party, she always has ghosts to take her there.

I guess these ghosts must wait on her hand and foot. Must suck being in the afterlife sometimes. Besides, perhaps this pampered enchantress should consider a broom.

I guess these ghosts must wait on her hand and foot. Must suck being in the afterlife sometimes. Besides, perhaps this pampered enchantress should consider a broom.

11. Fans of The Wizard of Oz would appreciate this inflatable of the Wicked Witch of the East.

That's just all there is. And these are meant to be placed right next to the house. Yeah, it's supposed to look like the house smashed her during a tornado.

That’s just all there is. And these are meant to be placed right next to the house. Yeah, it’s supposed to look like the house smashed her during a tornado.

12. Nothing is scarier than a light up skull and neon spiders.

Now this is the kind of Halloween decoration I'd expect to see at a rave. Yeah, it's quite freaky to say the least.

Now this is the kind of Halloween decoration I’d expect to see at a rave. Yeah, it’s quite freaky to say the least.

13. Oh, no, the ghost pirate ship is sinking!

Man, this would look pretty ridiculous if it was on the ground. Then again, it's a ghost ship. So I'm not sure if it's likely to sink at all, even if it's full of holes.

Man, this would look pretty ridiculous if it was on the ground. Then again, it’s a ghost ship. So I’m not sure if it’s likely to sink at all, even if it’s full of holes.

14. Heard of Pop! Goes the Weasel? Here is Pop! Goes the Evil.

Now that clown is scary and creepy. Yes, that's bound to give children nightmares. Or their parents.

Now that clown is scary and creepy. Yes, that’s bound to give children nightmares. Or their parents.

15. Looks like Frank has some sweet new ride.

Now it seems that this hot rod's roof is an outhouse. Wonder if he used the seat. Still, must give off a lot of gas emissions.

Now it seems that this hot rod’s roof is an outhouse. Wonder if he used the seat. Still, must give off a lot of gas emissions.

16. Zombie gnome is not your friend. Wants your brains.

Let's just say if you see an undead gnome out there, stay out of that person's garden. Yeah, undead gnomes are dangerous. And no, they can't be killed by a stake in the neck.

Let’s just say if you see an undead gnome out there, stay out of that person’s garden. Yeah, undead gnomes are dangerous. And no, they can’t be killed by a stake in the neck.

17. For a big rat, you need a big trap.

I don't know what to think about this. Seriously, I know Halloween has disgusting decorations. But still, a giant rat trap? I don't think so.

I don’t know what to think about this. Seriously, I know Halloween has disgusting decorations. But still, a giant rat trap? I don’t think so.

18. Looks like Yellow is going as Frankenstein’s monster this year.

So how do they get the bolts in him like that? I mean he's made out of chocolate. It's not a flexible material if you get my drift.

So how do they get the bolts in him like that? I mean he’s made out of chocolate. It’s not a flexible material if you get my drift.

19. Looks like the cat is containing the ghosts in the pumpkin.

I'm sure the ghosts can get out of the pumpkin just fine when they want to. However, it might freak out the cat though.

I’m sure the ghosts can get out of the pumpkin just fine when they want to. However, it might freak out the cat though.

20. Hey! The cat’s gotten hold of the mummy wraps!

Yeah, the mummy isn't too happy while the cat is grinning. Hope he has enough strength to get out of this jam without losing a limb or unraveling.

Yeah, the mummy isn’t too happy while the cat is grinning. Hope he has enough strength to get out of this jam without losing a limb or unraveling.

21. If you love Ghostbusters, then you’d like this Slimer inflatable.

The one in the movie was more disgusting but still gross. Still, I'm more partial to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

The one in the movie was more disgusting but still gross. Still, I’m more partial to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

22. Of course, nothing brings in the spirit of Ghostbusters than an inflatable of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Yes, let all be doomed before his marshmallowy wake. You don't want to mess with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Got to love this.

Yes, let all be doomed before his marshmallowy wake. You don’t want to mess with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Got to love this.

23. Remember, Frightening Fuel Services is at your service.

Of course, the most frightening thing about this service is the cost and excise tax. Still, seems to be a Halloween knock off from Cars. Like the dragon fixture on this 18 wheeler.

Of course, the most frightening thing about this service is the cost and excise tax. Still, seems to be a Halloween knock off from Cars. Like the dragon fixture on this 18 wheeler.

24. Seems like this monster is a player for the Spook University football team.

I'm sure no school in their right mind would want to go against such a team. There, every player on the team is either a beast or built like one.

I’m sure no school in their right mind would want to go against such a team. There, every player on the team is either a beast or built like one.

25. I’m sure you’ve heard of a haunted house. But what about a haunted trailer?

The scary creatures couldn't find an affordable home to set themselves up. And no apartment was willing to take them. So they had to settle for a trailer despite it being cramped and on land they have to pay rent to. And they're getting hosed by the landlord at the trailer park.

The scary creatures couldn’t find an affordable home to set themselves up. And no apartment was willing to take them. So they had to settle for a trailer despite it being cramped and on land they have to pay rent to. And they’re getting hosed by the landlord at the trailer park.

26. If you can’t go on your own carriage or hearse, there’s always the haunted stagecoach.

Seems like ghouls are in the passenger section while the vampire is on the top. Love how the coffin is on the roof.

Seems like ghouls are in the passenger section while the vampire is on the top. Love how the coffin is on the roof. Yet, a stagecoach driver must be wary around these parts.

27. Now this zombie gnome is a bit partial to arms.

Yes, he loves to munch on some tasty limbs. And he seems to have bitten a few fingers off.

Yes, he loves to munch on some tasty limbs. And he seems to have bitten a few fingers off.

28. Awww, Frankenstein and the ghosts are on a seesaw together.

Wait a minute, the ghosts shouldn't weigh a thing. I mean Frankestein should be weigh them down. Yeah, the weight distribution shouldn't be equal.

Wait a minute, the ghosts shouldn’t weigh a thing. I mean Frankestein should be weigh them down. Yeah, the weight distribution shouldn’t be equal.

29. Want a haunted house in your yard? Perhaps try this inflatable for size.

I think it might just be easier and cheaper to make the front of your house look haunted. Inflatables can be quite a headache. Still, it does kind of look like a haunted Victorian mansion.

I think it might just be easier and cheaper to make the front of your house look haunted. Inflatables can be quite a headache. Still, it does kind of look like a haunted Victorian mansion.

30. Frankenstein just wants to take a rest on his chopper.

Frankenstein on a chopper. Really? That's crazy. Seriously, how could an undead monster fly something like that?

Frankenstein on a chopper. Really? That’s crazy. Seriously, how could an undead monster fly something like that?

31. Guess a witch fell into the brew again.

Seems like she should know better than to dive into the witches' brew head first. You really don't know what the hell is in there. I mean it could be a recipe for rat poison for all you know.

Seems like she should know better than to dive into the witches’ brew head first. You really don’t know what the hell is in there. I mean it could be a recipe for rat poison for all you know.

32. If you think a neon spider is freaky, you should see an iridescent one.

Now this spider's but is about as illuminating as a disco ball. Yeah, more suitable for a rave. Hope its web has glittering lights.

Now this spider’s abdomen is about as illuminating as a disco ball. Yeah, more suitable for a rave. Hope its web has glittering lights.

33. Sometimes when the wraith comes around, it occasionally comes in a carriage.

Wonder how hard it's going to be for the driver to find a place to park. Also, hope the skull doesn't hurt matters.

Wonder how hard it’s going to be for the driver to find a place to park. Also, hope the skull doesn’t hurt matters.

34. Come right this way to hear your frightening fortunes.

Seems like Madam Skull Lady is doing Tarot card readings. Kind of wish she had a crystal ball instead. I mean that's how I identify a fortune teller.

Seems like Madam Skull Lady is doing Tarot card readings. Kind of wish she had a crystal ball instead. I mean that’s how I identify a fortune teller.

35. Hey, look, this clown is giving out free candy.

On second thought, I'll take a pass at any of this evil clown's free candy offers. Seriously, I don't know what he's going to do with that hammer. And I don't even want to know either.

On second thought, I’ll take a pass at any of this evil clown’s free candy offers. Seriously, I don’t know what he’s going to do with that hammer. And I don’t even want to know either.

36. Honey, a flying saucer just crashed into our front yard! Come out and look here!

An inflatable flying saucer with inflatable dirt surrounding it. Yeah, that looks very realistic (sarcasm). The one in my lawn ornament post looked more believable.

An inflatable flying saucer with inflatable dirt surrounding it. Yeah, that looks very realistic (sarcasm). The one in my lawn ornament post looked more believable.

37. Remember, if you want him to appear, you had to say his name 3 times.

Of course, it's more or less undeniable that Beetlejuice was a better Michael Keaton performance than Birdman. Way better than Birdman, which shouldn't have won an Oscar for Best Picture. Seriously, Academy, why couldn't you choose Grand Budapest Hotel? It's a great movie.

Of course, it’s more or less undeniable that Beetlejuice was a better Michael Keaton performance than Birdman. Way better than Birdman, which shouldn’t have won an Oscar for Best Picture. Seriously, Academy, why couldn’t you choose Grand Budapest Hotel? It’s a great movie for God’s sake!

38. Oh, shit, this alien appears to be on the war path.

“Must kill earthlings. Must destroy evidence. Must take no prisoners.”

39. The Grimm Reaper just loves popping wheelies on his hot rod or tractor.

Yes, he really has a need for speed, doesn't he? Still, with ghostly passengers, I'm not sure if that's a great place to put his scythe.

Yes, he really has a need for speed, doesn’t he? Still, with ghostly passengers, I’m not sure if that’s a great place to put his scythe.

40. All aboard the Haunted Express.

Funny how this train doesn't have any passenger cars. Still, love the ghost and pumpkins. Also, like the vampire rising from his coffin in the back.

Funny how this train doesn’t have any passenger cars. Still, love the ghost and pumpkins. Also, like the vampire rising from his coffin in the back.

41. Forget broom flying, this wicked witch is riding a hog for the open road.

Of course, I'm sure magic will be a more effective safety measure than a helmet. But I'm not certain. Still, I don't know if she should bring her cat along.

Of course, I’m sure magic will be a more effective safety measure than a helmet. But I’m not certain. Still, I don’t know if she should bring her cat along.

42. Happy Halloween from the wiener dog and owls.

And I see the dog has his dog treat bag at the ready. Still, does he have any idea that owls have talons? And that talons are sharp?

And I see the dog has his dog treat bag at the ready. Still, does he have any idea that owls have talons? And that talons are sharp?

43. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you an evil snowman.

When Hell freezes over, you'll have to reckon with this guy. Still, perfect for any Nightmare Before Christmas display. Love those sharp stick arms.

When Hell freezes over, you’ll have to reckon with this guy going after you. Still, perfect for any Nightmare Before Christmas display. Love those sharp stick arms.

44. Hey, look, Elmo is carving pumpkins for Halloween.

Wait a minute, don't those those pumpkins look a bit like Elmo's friends? Yeah, I think so. Hope Cookie Monster and Bert don't mind being inspirations. But it's still pretty creepy if you think about it.

Wait a minute, don’t those those pumpkins look a bit like Elmo’s friends? Yeah, I think so. Hope Cookie Monster and Bert don’t mind being inspirations. But it’s still pretty creepy if you think about it.

45. You are now entering the Zombie Crossing.

The human characters from The Walking Dead could've used signs like these. Unfortunately, they don't know where the zombies might show up, save grave yards.

The human characters from The Walking Dead could’ve used signs like these. Unfortunately, they don’t know where the zombies might show up, save grave yards.

46. This pumpkin seems to be on the lookout for ghosts to munch on.

This is more or less a Halloween tribute to Pac Man. Just so you know. Still pretty funny.

This is more or less a Halloween tribute to Pac Man. Just so you know. Still pretty funny.

47. On Halloween night, it pays to beware of the dog.

Yes, this dog is mean as you can tell from his red eyes and spiked collar. Don't want to cross him or he'll tear you to pieces.

Yes, this dog is mean as you can tell from his red eyes and spiked collar. Don’t want to cross him or he’ll tear you to pieces.

48. Nothing makes your yard scary for Halloween than an inflatable of a devouring plant.

Despite its saber tooth jaws, it doesn't look like the kind of plant that would swallow people whole. I think Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors was much scarier.

Despite its saber tooth jaws, it doesn’t look like the kind of plant that would swallow people whole. I think Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors was much scarier.

49. Oh, no, the ghosts are on fire!

Wait a minute, ghosts shouldn't catch fire. They're supposed to be made out of almost nothing. So why they're screaming within the flames is beyond me. Then again, it might be just PTSD.

Wait a minute, ghosts shouldn’t catch fire. They’re supposed to be made out of almost nothing. So why they’re screaming within the flames is beyond me. Then again, it might be just PTSD.

50. Don’t enter in, this is a crime scene investigation. A murder has been committed.

And it looks like the killer is still on the loose and is about to kill again. Still, kind of reminds me of the shower scene in Psycho.

And it looks like the killer is still on the loose and is about to kill again. Still, kind of reminds me of the shower scene in Psycho from how the shadow looks.

State Birds That Should Be

John Oliver has once said that there are two things that American states are bad at: civil rights and state birds. Of course, anyone who’s studied African American history would understand the former, especially since the states’ lousiness to utter lack of interest in protecting civil rights was the driving reason in the rise of the Civil Rights Movement. Of course, I’ve written a few posts explaining why that is (such as one on the Charleston shooting and the Confederate Flag). However, I haven’t brushed on the other subject like state birds. Now I know it’s not nearly important but we have to understand that while the Founding Fathers were absolutely right to name the Bald Eagle as our national symbol, our states have been absolutely horrible in selecting a bird that best represents them. I mean there are several states with the same one like the Northern Mockingbird, the Northern Cardinal, the Eastern Bluebird, the Eastern Goldfinch, the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Western Meadowlark, the Mountain Bluebird, and the American Robin as well as others with birds that don’t seem to really represent them. Some aren’t even very unique. For instance, as a native and lifelong resident in Pennsylvania, I have never seen a Ruffed Grouse. I have seen a Great Blue Heron, a seagull, a Norther Harrier, a Bufflehead, and even a Pilated Woodpecker in my area. But I have never seen a freaking Ruffed Grouse in Pennsylvania in all of my freaking life. Not a single one. Maybe the wild turkey might not be a great national symbol but it would’ve been a way better state bird for Pennsylvania than the Ruffed Grouse. At least I’ve seen wild turkeys from my neck of the woods. Nevertheless, we have 50 states in the US as well as hundreds of native birds in our country to choose from. It’s not like several states have to pick the same one. Here I list my opinion for what I think should be the state bird for each of the 50 states of the United States of America.

  1. Alabama
While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama's association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

While the Northern Mockingbird can be found anywhere, Alabama’s association with Harper Lee and the Civil Rights Movement kind of makes it an appropriate state bird there. As Lee put it, To Kill a Mockingbird is to kill what is innocent and harmless like Tom Robinson.

Official State Bird: Northern Flicker (Yellowhammer)

Why It Sucks: For one, this bird was chosen with its association to Confederate soldiers, which may be something Alabama may take pride in. However, I’m sure this bird’s association with Confederacy won’t sit well with the state’s minority populations. Also, there’s not a lot of flickers in Alabama anyway.

Best Candidate: Northern Mockingbird

Why: Sure I know it’s a common and boring bird. But Alabama was a major center of the American Civil Rights Movement as well as home to Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird, a book closely identified with it. Besides, the Civil Rights Movement was a major event that put Alabama on the map and what most people identify this state with. Still, if the Northern Mockingbird has to be a state bird, then it should be in Alabama.

Other Options: Blue Jay, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, Mourning Dove, Brown Pelican, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Red-Cockated Woodpecker

  1. Alaska
Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it's even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Now this is the kind of bird I think about when it comes to Alaska. This is a magnificent bird of prey that the state could be proud of. Hell, it’s even one of the few birds that can even get non-birders to come out for a look.

Official State Bird: Willow Ptarmigan

Why It Sucks: It’s a very common bird in Alaska, which is home to 69 species of birds that only breed there. It’s also not a bird most people imagine when they think about Alaska. Also, the name is dumb.

Best Candidate: Snowy Owl

Why: Well, I might be biased since Harry Potter owned one named Hedwig. However, this is possibly one of the birds someone imagines when they think about Alaska. This is a majestic, arctic bird of prey, which has all the makings of a truly great state bird that Alaska can be proud of.

Other Options: Horned Puffin, Gyrfalcon, Arctic Tern, Arctic Loon, Pacific Loon, Aleutian Tern, Little Auk, Great Gray Owl, Glaucous Gull, America Tree Sparrow, Golden-Crowned Sparrow, Trumpeter Swan, Tundra Swan, Emperor Goose, Wood Duck, American Widgeon, Bufflehead, Harlequin Duck, Smew, Steller’s Eider, King Eider, Horned Grebe, Red-Necked Grebe, Brandt’s Cormorant, Pelagic Cormorant, Boreal Owl, Rough-Legged Hawk, Merlin, Greater Scaup, Sandhill Crane, Semipalmated Plover, American Golden Plover, Solitary Sandpiper

  1. Arizona
While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

While the Gila Woodpecker might be small, they are an important protector of the saguaro cactus. Not only does it eat insects that might harm the cactus, it also cuts away unhealthy flesh from the plant as well. They are also more common in Arizona than the Cactus Wren and prettier, too.

Official State Bird: Cactus Wren

Why It Sucks: Not bad, Arizona. After all this is a desert state and the Cactus Wren is a desert bird. However, I’m not sure if it’s unique enough since Arizona isn’t the only desert state.

Best Candidate: Gila Woodpecker

Why: Well, they’re very adaptable birds in the Sonoran Desert and are associated with Saguaro cactus and Mesquite. Besides, while the Cactus Wren looks boring, the Gila Woodpecker has neat zebra wings. Not to mention, it has a bigger range than the Cactus Wren.

Other Options: Anna’s Hummingbird, California Condor, Yellow Junco, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Magnificent Hummingbird, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Steller’s Jay, Gilded Flicker, Phainopepla, Painted Whitestart, Bullock’s Oriole, Ferruginous Hawk, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Elegant Trogon, Mexican Jay, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Gray Hawk, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Mexican Jay, Red-Faced Warbler, Gambel’s Quail

  1. Arkansas
The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

The Pileated Woodpecker may not be a rare bird, but its sheer size makes its presence unmistakable. Not to mention, its association with the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker makes it a good fit as the state bird of Arkansas.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: Because it’s the state bird of 5 states and Arkansas has one of the worst reasons to claim it.

Best Candidate: Pileated Woodpecker

Why: Now this is possibly the largest woodpecker in North America (if the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker is extinct by this point). Not to mention, its large size gives it a strong unmistakable presence. It’s also very adaptable in forest and other environments unlike the Ivory-Billed. Still, this is a very awesome and unique American bird.

Other Options: Hairy Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Phoebe, Chipping Sparrow, Easter Towhee, Tufted Titmouse, Eastern Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, American Crow, Eastern Whippoorwill, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Painted Bunting

  1. California
Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it's been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It's also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Though the California Condor is a scavenging buzzard, it’s been seen as an important symbol for Native American mythology in California. It’s also the largest land bird in North America and one of the longest living.

Official State Bird: California Quail

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique bird for California. But it’s been misplaced in a lot of movies that some people think it lives almost anywhere (thanks to Disney, no doubt). Also, it’s a game bird and not one that embodies the spirit of the state.

Best Candidate: California Condor

Why: Because this scavenging vulture is the largest land birds of North America as well as one of the longest living. Not to mention, the state managed to have a successful breeding program and helped reintroduce them in the wild. It’s also a significant bird to California Native American tribes as well as plays an important role in several of their myths. It’s not an attractive bird but it’s a remarkable bird nevertheless.

Other Options: Western Gull, California Gull, Anna’s Hummingbird, Western Scrub Jay, Pacific Loon, Laysan Albatross, Red-Billed Tropicbird, California Thrasher, Yellow-Billed Magpie, Nuttall’s Woodpecker, Violet-Green Swallow, Cassin’s Kingbird, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Phainopepla, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lazuli Bunting, Tufted Duck, Clark’s Grebe, Black Storm Petrel, Brandt’s Cormorant, California Towhee, White-Tailed Kite, Flammulated Owl, Spotted Owl, Black Phoebe, American Dipper, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Acorn Woodpecker, California Least Tern, Mountain Quail

  1. Colorado
The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek

The Gunnison Sage Grouse is known for its elaborate courtship ritual with males congregating in a lek “strutting display” as groups of females observe and select the most attractive to mate with. And only a few males do most of the breeding.

Official State Bird: Lark Bunting

Why It Sucks: Yes, it’s a unique bird and the male is quite nice looking but it’s quite rare even in its own state.

Best Candidate: Gunnison Sage Grouse

Why: It is one of the rarest birds in North America and its population is only in a small area of Colorado. It’s also a truly unique bird in its own right with a great feather display and are notable in their unique courtship rituals. Also, most experts recommend this.

Other Options: Great Horned Owl, Belted Kingfisher, Calliope Hummingbird, Brown Capped Rosy Finch, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Greater Sage Grouse, American Three-Toed Woodpecker, Clark’s Nutcracker, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Brown-Capped Rosy Finch, Boreal Owl

  1. Connecticut
Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they're also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they're known to chase hawks and owls.

Yes, I know the Blue Jay has a reputation for being an obnoxious and aggressive bird. But they’re also quite beautiful, intelligent, and tough. I mean they’re known to chase hawks and owls.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird in 3 states which means that Connecticut should find a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Blue Jay

Why: For one, it’s a common North American bird and a rather iconic one. It’s also a rather feisty bird known to chase predatory birds like hawks and owls as well as make a variety of sounds. Besides, it’s been cited in a couple of works by Mark Twain, one of Connecticut’s most famous residents (and let’s just say the state is home to a lot of celebrities). Why the Blue Jay isn’t already a state bird in this country, I have no idea. But it’s a better choice than the American Robin.

Other Options: Killdeer, Great Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, American Crow, Connecticut Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Delaware
Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a

Like many plovers, the Piping Plover is known to feign a “broken wing display” in order to direct a predator’s attention away from its chicks. Of course, human activity at beaches has led to a population decline that conservationists have reserved beaches for them during breeding season.

Official State Bird: Delaware Blue Hen

Why It Sucks: Face it, it’s a domesticated chicken that makes for a very lame mascot at one of its universities. Not to mention, it’s not even recognized as a chicken breed for God’s sake. It’s just a state bird due its significance in a Revolutionary War regiment in the state. And its main use was in cockfighting. Real nice. Yeah, it’s a stupid state bird in a state that’s only known for Joe Biden, corporate friendly tax rates, Dr. Oz, and not much else.

Best Candidate: Piping Plover

Why: For one, the Delaware Audubon Society has a whole article on it as an Endangered Species. Second, it’s a shorebird and is quite small and Delaware is home to a lot of coastal birds. Third, Delaware even has a program to restore this bird’s population, which has led to the state closing a beach section during its breeding season. And like Delaware, it doesn’t look anything special.

Other Options: Red Knot, Seaside Sparrow, Purple Martin, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Swallow, Great Blue Heron, Tufted Titmouse, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Florida
Now the American Flamingo isn't as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it's only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it's still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn't Florida's state bird already is beyond me.

Now the American Flamingo isn’t as common in Florida as some of its other birds. And it’s only recently that they have returned to the Everglades. However, it’s still the bird that comes to mind when you think of Florida. So why this isn’t Florida’s state bird already is beyond me.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states with one of them being Texas. Florida has one of the worst excuses since it has a rather diverse bird population, particularly in the Everglades which was designated as a National Park to preserve some of them. And all the birds they could’ve had to represent their state, they had to pick a small one that’s found everywhere. Really? That’s stupid.

Best Candidate: American Flamingo

Why: Basically, it’s such an iconic bird in Florida that it’s their unofficial state bird already. Of course, they’re not as common as they used to be in the state but as 2015, it’s been said that they’ve returned to the Everglades since about 147 have been seen there during the latest breeding season. Still, when you think of Florida, the American Flamingo is the first bird you think about. This is mostly because its likeness has been used in many tacky lawn decorations by Florida residents and others.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Blue Heron, Wood Stork, Magnificent Frigatebird, Brown Booby, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Cormorant, Anhinga, American White Pelican, Brown Pelican, Little Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Great Egret, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, American White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Sora, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Calliope Hummingbird, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Florida Scrub-Jay, Purple Martin, Painted Bunting, Hooded Merganser, Tricolored Heron, Sandhill Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Smooth-Billed Ani, Reddish Egret

  1. Georgia
The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It's said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you'd expect for their size.

The Eastern Towhee is a large and striking sparrow as well as the bird of the undergrowth. It’s said its rummaging makes far more noise than what you’d expect for their size.

Official State Bird: Brown Thrasher

Why It Sucks: Well, for one, it’s not a compelling bird. Also, it had a hockey team named the Atlanta Thrashers which relocated to Canada and became the Calgary Flames. It’s also a rather common bird in the Southeastern US. Other than that, it’s not a terrible choice, just not one I think is good for Georgia.

Best Candidate: Eastern Towhee

Why: It is a large and striking species of sparrow that stands out better than the Brown Thrasher. Sure it’s a common eastern bird but it’s a permanent resident of Georgia as well as carries a nice sound, too. It’s also more common than a Brown Thrasher.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Audubon’s Shearwater, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Cattle Egret, American White Ibis, Black Vulture, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Eastern Kingbird, Blue Jay, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike

  1. Hawaii
The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

The Pueo is a actually subspecies of the Short-Eared Owl that is endemic in Hawaii. But it has been attributed by Hawaiian mythology as one of the physical forms assumed by ʻaumakua who were the ancestor spirits of Hawaiian mythology.

Official State Bird: Nene (Hawaiian Goose)

Why It Sucks: Now the Nene might seem like a great tropical state bird for Hawaii since it’s rather unique to the islands. However, the fact that it’s a goose is kind of disappointing to say the least. Besides, Hawaii must have other more interesting species than this one. Not the kind of bird I’d want to see on a postcard from there.

Best Candidate: Pueo (Hawaiian Short-Eared Owl)

Why: Well, because this owl is a rather significant bird in Hawaiian folklore as one of the physical forms of the ancestor spirits. It is deemed as a sacred family protector and bringer of good luck, despite being endangered. Besides, an owl is a better state bird than a goose any day of the week.

Other Options: Brant Goose, Laysan Albatross, Black-Footed Albatross, Hawaiian Petrel, Bonin Petrel, Newell’s Shearwater, Hawaiian Hawk, Hawaiian Coot, Hawaiian Black Noddy, Kauaʻi ʻelepaio, Oʻahu ʻelepaio, Hawaiʻi ʻelepaio, ʻŌmaʻo, Nihoa Finch, Hawaiʻi ʻamakihi, Liwi, ʻAnianiau, ʻApapane, Red Crested Cardinal, Hawaiian Gallinule, Hawaiian Stilt

  1. Idaho
Now the Pinyon Jay isn't a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Now the Pinyon Jay isn’t a common bird in Idaho, people in this state seem to hold some kind of affection for it. Nevertheless, their highly social behavior makes them a rather dependable presence in the state.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Because it shares its state bird with Nevada. Not to mention, there aren’t many in that state.

Best Candidate: Pinyon Jay

Why: Well, for one, Idaho State University has a press venture named after it. Second, despite it appearing in a few southern Idaho counties, it seems to have a rather special place in that state. However, unlike the Mountain Bluebird, the Pinyon Jay is said to be seen in Idaho every month of the year, especially during the summer.

Other Options: Franklin’s Gull, Western Gull, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Band-Tailed Pidgeon, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Great Gray Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Gray Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Bullock’s Oriole, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Rufous Hummingbird, Peregrine Falcon, Lazuli Bunting, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, White-Throated Swift, Boreal Owl

  1. Illinois
The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It's the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It's said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

The male Greater Prairie Chicken is a highly territorial bird that often defends his booming grounds. It’s the place where he performs his display to attract females by inflating the air sacs on their neck. It’s said that one or two of the most dominant males do 90% of the mating.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: Because the Northern Cardinal is the state bird for 7 states. That’s more than how many states have been home to Abraham Lincoln who spent most of his life there.

Best Candidate: Greater Prairie Chicken

Why: While it’s not as common in Illinois as the Northern Cardinal and only found in Southern Illinois, it’s nevertheless a rather unique bird to the state. They also kind of have a great combination of Springfield folksiness you’d associate with Lincoln as well as the badassery and rowdiness you’d associate with Chicago.

Other Options: Common Loon, White Breasted Nuthatch, Downy Woodpecker, Ruby Throated Hummingbird, Cedar Waxwing, Dark-Eyed Junco, Eastern Goldfinch, Great Horned Owl, American Kestrel, Dickcissel, Eastern Kingbird, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Indiana
The Bobolink is said to be one of the world's most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it's said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

The Bobolink is said to be one of the world’s most impressive songbird migrants traveling some 12,500 miles from South America per year. In their lifetime it’s said they may travel the equivalent of 4 or 5 times around the circumference of the earth. Also, while a male may mate with several females, each clutch of eggs laid by a single female may have multiple fathers.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: As with Illinois, it’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than states claiming to be the home of Abraham Lincoln, who spent his later childhood and teenage years there.

Best Candidate: Bobolink

Why: Besides its awesome name and unique appearance, this is a much more unique bird to Indiana than the Northern Cardinal which is everywhere. Bobolinks are only prevalent in the Northeast and Midwest. Besides, it has an awesome color scheme.

Other Options: White-Breasted Nuthatch, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Downy Woodpecker, Dark-Eyed Junco, Mourning Dove, Song Sparrow, Scarlet Tanager, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Lincoln’s Sparrow, Purple Martin, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Iowa
The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

The Dickcissel is a grassland bird that prefers the fields of the Midwest. The males are also said to have up to six mates but most usually have one or two.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Well, despite having a good reason for the Eastern Goldfinch, it’s also the state bird of New Jersey and Washington.

Best Candidate: Dickcissel

Why: Let’s face it, this is a unique bird in the Midwest and Iowa is a state best known for its agriculture. It also has a great unique name as well as polygynous mating habits, which is rare for a songbird. But it kind of fits well how Iowa was one of the first states to legalize gay marriage, a measure nobody expected.

Other Options: Red-Winged Blackbird, Greater Prairie Chicken, American Kestrel, Rough-Legged Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Barn Owl, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Mississippi Kite, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Kansas
The American Crow is a true survivor since it's highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They're also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

The American Crow is a true survivor since it’s highly adaptable, social, and intelligent that no matter how much humans want to kill them, they will keep coming. They’re also known for traveling in family groups of up to 15 and contain young from 5 different years. They can sometimes make and use tools.

Official State Bird:  Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states, including a couple of its neighbors.

Best Candidate: American Crow

Why: Because the American Crow is among one of the smartest and most underrated North American Birds. Not to mention, Kansas has dealt with a lot of crap during its history such as tornadoes, violent disputes over slavery, the Dust Bowl, terrible school boards, and Sam Brownback. The American Crow has been seen as a pest and there have been efforts to eliminate it. But still, it’s a very resilient and adaptable bird that also fulfills a key purpose like Kansas. So I think it’s one that represents Kansas the best. Besides, it’s about time the American Crow should be a state bird.

Other Options: Ruffed Grouse, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Northern Bobwhite, Scaled Quail, Mississippi Kite, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Prairie Falcon, Barn Owl, Prairie Falcon, Dickcissel, Whooping Crane, Great Crested Flycatcher, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Kentucky
The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a

The Blue Grosbeak is a member of the same family as the Northern Cardinal even if you might not have heard of it. And since Kentucky is the Bluegrass State, perhaps this would make a more appropriate state bird. Just call it a “blue cardinal” because that’s what it pretty much is.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states which is more than those who claim to be the Land of Lincoln. Of course, this was where Lincoln was born.

Best Candidate: Blue Grosbeak

Why: For one, it’s in the same family as the Northern Cardinal. Second, since Kentucky is known as “the Bluegrass State” it’s only fair that it should be represented by a bird with blue feathers. I think it’s a good compromise.

Other Options: Field Sparrow, Indigo Bunting, American Kestrel, Kentucky Warbler, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Evening Grosbeak, Red-Winged Blackbird. American Crow, Purple Martin, Blue Grosbeak, American Kestrel, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Louisiana
Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn't spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana's state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Though the Brown Pelican is the Louisiana state bird, it doesn’t spend a lot of time in the state nor does it appear on the state flag. However, the American While Pelican does as a winter visitor and the pelican on Louisiana’s state flag is certainly white. So perhaps the Pelican State should try this pelican as their state bird instead.

Official State Bird: Brown Pelican

Why It Sucks: Well, this isn’t a bad state bird since Louisiana is known as “the Pelican State.” But it’s not an attractive bird. Also, it’s not even the pelican that appears on its state flag. Besides, it’s not a common bird in Louisiana.

Best Candidate: American White Pelican

Why: Because the pelican on the Louisiana State Flag is always white, not brown. To have the American White Pelican as its state bird would make much better sense. And unlike the Brown Pelican, it does spend time in Louisiana (though it doesn’t necessarily breed there).

Other Options: Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Anhinga, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Wood Duck, Wood Stork, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Great Egret, Snowy Egret, Tricolored Heron, Little Blue Heron, White Ibis, Glossy Ibis, Roseate Spoonbill, Purple Gallinule, Belted Kingfisher, Crested Caracara, Louisiana Waterthrush, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Maine
The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine's most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

The Atlantic Puffin looks like the clown of the sea and its US breeding spot is off the coast of Maine. Its bright colors make it one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Massachusetts. It’s also a rather common American bird as well. It’s cute but Maine can do better.

Best Candidate: Atlantic Puffin

Why: It’s not a common bird in Maine (residing on 5 islands off the coast) but it has at least 2 things going for it, especially since attempts to restore it to its historical range have been successful in the state. For one, it’s one of Maine’s most popular birds that their nesting colonies have become significant tourist destinations for birdwatchers. There are even boating tours to see these birds during the summer. Second, it’s basically the only state in the US where these adorable Subarctic birds reside. Thus, while it’s adorable, it’s also one of the most unique birds in Maine.

Other Options: Snow Goose, Wood Duck, Spruce Grouse, Blue Jay, American Kestrel, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Great Blue Heron, Snowy Egret, Black Vulture, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Common Tern, Belted Kingfisher, Philadelphia Vireo, Common Raven, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Cedar Waxwing, Seaside Sparrow, Red Wing Blackbird, Indigo Bunting, Acadian Flycatcher, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Maryland
Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he's most famous for

Edgar Allan Poe might not have spent a lot of time in Baltimore but since he died under mysterious circumstances in 1849, he will always be associated with the state of Maryland. And since he’s most famous for “The Raven” so would the Common Raven. Not to mention, Maryland is home to the Baltimore Ravens but we’ll discuss Ray Lewis’s murder allegations nevermore.

Official State Bird: Baltimore Oriole

Why It Sucks: While it does make sense for Maryland to have this as their state bird as well as a name of Baltimore’s Major League Baseball team, there aren’t many in the state.

Best Candidate: Common Raven

Why: Aside from the Baltimore Oriole, this is the other bird identified with Maryland. Edgar Allan Poe is associated with the city of Baltimore despite the fact he only lived there for 2 years and dying there in 1849 under interesting circumstances. Nevertheless, he’s buried there though. He’s best known for his poem, “The Raven” from where the Baltimore Ravens get their name (though they were previously the Cleveland Browns before moving there). Sure it might not be a common bird in the state, but it’s a rather significant one due to its connection to Poe and American Literature. Besides, more people are familiar with Poe’s “The Raven” than Lord Baltimore.

Other Options: Osprey, Barnacle Goose, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Great Egret, Wood Stork, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Killdeer, Royal Tern, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Blue Jay, American Crow, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, American Oystercatcher, Orchard Oriole, Eastern Kingbird, Northern Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Massachusetts
Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they're actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can't fly higher than a quarter mile.

Since Massachusetts was the site of the First Thanksgiving, I thought it would only be appropriate that its state bird be the Wild Turkey. Of course, unlike their domesticated counterparts, they’re actually quite smart as well as agile flyers. However, they usually can’t fly higher than a quarter mile.

Official State Bird: Black-Capped Chickadee

Why It Sucks: Has the same state bird as Maine. Cute but Massachusetts can do better.

Best Candidate: Wild Turkey

Why: For one, it’s the Massachusetts state game bird so it probably has reasonable appeal as a state symbol. Second, like Massachusetts, it’s associated with Thanksgiving, an American national holiday. Third, it was even recommended as a national symbol by Benjamin Franklin who was a native of Boston. Let’s just say between this bird and the Black-Capped Chickadee, the Wild Turkey is a more appropriate choice for Massachusetts’ state bird.

Other Options: Kirtland’s Warbler, Piping Plover, Blue Jay, Chimney Swift, Orchard Oriole, Cedar Waxwing, Brown-Headed Cowbird, Dark-Eyed Junco, Great Blue Heron, Common Loon, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Snowy Egret, Little Blue Heron, American Kestrel, Cooper’s Hawk, Norther Goshawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Common Tern, Red Wing Blackbird, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. Michigan
Kirtland's Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan's jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear's guts.

Kirtland’s Warbler is a rare bird of Michigan’s jack pine forests. It depends on fire to provide small trees and open areas meeting its nesting requirements. Yes, this bird really hates Smoky the Bear’s guts.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird in 3 states in the country. Time for Michigan to find a new state bird. Besides, it’s a very common bird anyway when the state can do better.

Best Candidate: Kirtland’s Warbler

Why: For one it’s a bird that pretty much resides in this state which was almost extinct nearly 50 years ago, but they’ve made a recovery. It’s now classified as Near Threatened. Also, it has a community college named after it. Still, it would be a better bird than the American Robin.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Common Loon, American Kestrel, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Tree Sparrow, Cape May Warbler, Cedar Waxwing, Great Blue Heron, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, Cave Swallow, Blue Jay, American Crow, Northern Shrike, Eastern Kingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Belted Kingfisher, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Barn Owl, Killdeer, Red-Tailed Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Dark-Eyed Junco, Cooper’s Hawk, Herring Gull, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black Tern, Sandhill Crane, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Minnesota
Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it's home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Minnesota has the highest remaining density of the Golden-Winged Warbler. In fact, it’s home to about half its global population. However, these birds have also experienced one of the steepest declines of any songbird species in the last 45 years.

Official State Bird: Common Loon

Why It Sucks: Well, the Common Loon is a nice bird. But it usually resides more often in Michigan than Minnesota (even if the latter has a lot of lakes) as well as winters on the American Coast. Minnesota may be in the Great Lakes region but it’s more of an inland state.

Best Candidate: Golden-Winged Warbler

Why: For one, it’s more common in Minnesota than the Common Loon. Second, it’s known to breed in this state as well as in Wisconsin. Still, it may not be a Common Loon but it’s a rather magnificent and more appropriate bird for the state.

Other Options: Sedge Wren, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ruffed Grouse, Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Green Heron, Cooper’s Hawk, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Parasitic Jaeger, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Black-Backed Woodpecker, Northern Goshawk, Piping Plover, Common Tern, Common Redpoll, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Capped Chickadee, Wood Duck, Scarlet Tanager, Great Blue Heron, Blackburnian Warbler, Indigo Bunting, Osprey, Great Crested Flycatcher, Ruffed Grouse, Trumpeter Swan, Double-Crested Cormorant, Black Tern, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Mississippi
The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

The Great Blue Heron is a majestic sight whether poised on a river or cruising a coastline with slow, deep, wingbeats. Though it may seem motionless and slow moving at times, it can strike like lightning to grab a fish or snap a gopher. Can also hunt at night or day.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states in the country. I’m sure Mississippi has a more diverse bird population that it could do better.

Best Candidate: Great Blue Heron

Why: Let’s just say it’s a prevalent bird in the Mississippi and the Great Egret is already a symbol for The Audubon Society. Mississippi is also known to have wetlands and waterways which the Great Blue Heron is well suited for. Besides, it’s a better state bird choice than the Northern Mockingbird.

Other Options: Wood Duck, Great Egret, Yellow-Breasted Chat, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Yellow-Rumped Warbler, Eastern Towhee, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Herring Gull, American Crow, American Coot, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Belted Kingfisher, Mississippi Kite, Killdeer, Anhinga, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Missouri
The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator's intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

The American Kestrel is the smallest falcon of North America. Yet, it packs a predator’s intensity into its small body. It can also see ultraviolet light and hide surplus kills to save food in lean times and conceal it from thieves.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird as New York. And it’s not as common as you might think due to having to compete with invasive species like sparrows and starlings.

Best Candidate: American Kestrel

Why: Missouri has often been in the middle of a lot of stuff during its history. It was a border state during the antebellum years as well as the starting point in the Oregon Trail. It had residents fight on both sides during the American Civil War and was the home of Quantrill’s Raiders (that included the James brothers). Besides, it has a reputation as a bellwether state and is home to a lot of wildlife diversity. And since the American Kestrel is a common bird of prey that lives in a variety of habitats as well as resides in the state year round, I can’t think of better bird to represent the state. Not to mention, it’s known to be quite feisty like Missouri native Harry Truman.

Other Options: Northern Cardinal, Wood Duck, Blue Jay, Easter Whippoorwill, Henslow’s Sparrow, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, American Coot, Tufted Titmouse, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Tailed Hawk, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Red Wing Blackbird, Barn Owl, Purple Martin, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Montana
McCown's Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

McCown’s Longspur is the songbird of the barren ground in the Great Plains such as short grass prairies and overgrazed pastures. The male is known to maintain its territory through aerial displays.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s a state bird of 6 states. Besides, Montana is the home to a lot of birds as well, which doesn’t give it much of an excuse.

Best Candidate: McCown’s Longspur

Why: Because it mostly breeds in this state during the summer (along with Wyoming). They also are known for characteristic aerial and song displays. It’s a more unique bird to the state than the Western Meadowlark.

Other Options: Vesper Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Dusky Grouse, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Goshawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Great Horned Owl, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Barred Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Great Gray Owl, Calliope Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Black-Billed Magpie, American Kestrel, Merlin, Prairie Falcon, American Crow, Bullock’s Oriole, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Townsend’s Solitaire, Pinyon Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Sprauge’s Pipit, Cassin’s Kingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Trumpeter Swan, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Mountain Plover, Upland Sandpiper, Boreal Owl

  1. Nebraska
The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska's Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there's even a Crane festival in March.

The Sandhill Crane may only be a migratory visitor to Nebraska. But from February to April each year, 500,000 of them return to feed at Nebraska’s Platte River as one of the largest congregation of birds of North America. Such event attracts 12,000 to 15,000 tourists and there’s even a Crane festival in March.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s a state bird of 6 states. Time for Nebraska to find something else to represent their state.

Best Candidate: Sandhill Crane

Why: Because 500,000 of these birds return to Nebraska’s Platte River every year around February to April. However, it’s one of the largest bird congregation spectacle in North America which brings between 12,000 and 15,000 people to the area each year. There’s even a crane festival in March.

Other Options: Greater Prairie Chicken, Red-Tailed Hawk, Whooping Crane, Killdeer, Blue Jay, Piping Plover, Bobolink, Least Tern, Harris’s Sparrow, Great Crested Flycatcher, White-Fronted Goose, Mallard Duck, Northern Pintail, Lesser Snow Goose, Black-Billed Magpie, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Nevada
The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I'm sure the male of this species looks like he's straight from Las Vegas.

The Greater Sage-Grouse may only inhabit northern Nevada. But I’m sure the male of this species looks like he’s straight from Las Vegas.

Official State Bird: Mountain Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird with Idaho. Besides, Nevada could at least have more showy bird than that. I mean Nevada is famous for tackiness, sin, vice, gambling, quickie divorces, marrying under the influence, materialism, prostitution, atomic testing, and other crazy things. The state bird should reflect that. And the Mountain Bluebird doesn’t really hold a candle to that since it’s too nice.

Best Candidate: Greater Sage Grouse

Why: Despite being more abundant in Wyoming, this is the perfect state bird for Nevada. For one, it inhabits the northern part of state year round. Secondly, the male of the species looks as if you’d expect it to come out of Las Vegas. Not to mention, it has a rather elaborate mating ritual.

Other Options: White-Faced Ibis, Dusky Grouse, Sooty Grouse, Turkey Vulture, Common Black-Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Mountain Plover, Greater Roadrunner, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, Great Gray Owl, Gila Woodpecker, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Western Tanager, Red Wing Blackbird, Great-Tailed Grackle, Bullock’s Oriole, Brewer’s Blackbird, Evening Grosbeak, Juniper Titmouse, Calliope Hummingbird, Lazuli Bunting, Eared Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, American Dipper

  1. New Hampshire
The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

The Red-Tailed Hawk is the most common hawk of North America. It is a large sharp-taloned bird that can be aggressive when defending their nests and territories. When courting, these birds fly with their legs beneath them, sometimes locking talons. Mated pairs typically stay together until one of them dies.

Official State Bird: Purple Finch

Why It Sucks: For one, it’s not really purple. Second, the male’s plumage of Neapolitan ice cream getting all mixed up. Third, it’s kind of ugly to say the least.

Best Candidate: Red-Tailed Hawk

Why: Face it, there was a group of 4th graders who wanted it to be their state raptor. Their proposal was turned down in the New Hampshire State Legislature in front of their faces. I think it would be best if the legislature reconvened and named this their state bird instead of the Purple Finch. Besides, its feathers were seen as sacred by many Native American tribes Not only that, but they’re really cool to say the least. Has all kinds of subspecies and morphs, too. Yeah, the Red-Tailed Hawk is awesome and it should be a state bird.

Other Options: Black-Capped Chickadee, American Redstart, Purple Martin, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Eastern Goldfinch, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Osprey, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Jersey
The Black Skimmer's remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

The Black Skimmer’s remarkable bill sets it apart from all other American birds. Its large red and black bill is knife thin and the lower manible is longer than the upper. The bird drags the lower bill through the water as it flies through the water it flies along, hoping to catch a small fish.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Shares the same state bird with Iowa and Washington. Also, doesn’t really live up to New Jersey’s reputation if you know what I mean. Besides, it has a better birding acclaim and can do better.

Best Candidate: Black Skimmer

Why: For one, despite New Jersey’s reputation, at least the state is doing something to conserve this bird’s population in its breeding range on the Jersey Shore. Second, you can joke by how this bird’s name describes a lot of New Jersey’s politicians since it has a horrible reputation for corruption.

Other Options: Seaside Sparrow, Wood Duck, Greater Scaup, Hooded Merganser, Pie-Billed Grebe, Northern Gannet, Great Blue Heron, Great Egret, Green Heron, Glossy Ibis, Osprey, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, American Kestrel, Common Gallinule, Killdeer, Piping Plover, American Oystercatcher, Laughing Gull, Roseate Tern, Black Tern, Royal Tern, Long-Eared Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Belted Kingfisher, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Great Crested Flycatcher, Fish Crow, Herring Gull, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. New Mexico
The Steller's Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

The Steller’s Jay moves around with bold hops of their long legs, both on the ground and on the spokelike main branches of conifers. It also has incredible spatial memories as well as rob caches and nests of other birds. They are very social and can sometimes join mixed species flocks. Not to mention, it can keep up a running commentary on events as well as instigate mobbing of predators and other dangerous intruders.

Official State Bird: Roadrunner

Why It Sucks: Now this is an appropriate state bird. However, I’m sure there are people in this state who aren’t pleased because they’re fans of Wiley Coyote. Perhaps New Mexico should be represented by a less controversial bird.

Best Candidate: Steller’s Jay

Why: First, it appears in most of New Mexico all year round. Second, its colorful feathers help reflect the state’s vibrant art culture that’s replete with Mexican and Southwest Native American influences. Nevertheless, it’s a very beautiful bird for a state like New Mexico.

Other Options: Chihuahuan Raven, Scaled Quail, Turkey Vulture, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Hen Harrier, Swainson’s Hawk, Long-Eared Owl, Great Horned Owl, White-Eared Hummingbird, Black-Chinned Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Gila Woodpecker, Western Scrub-Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Evening Grosbeak, Bullock’s Oriole, Red Wing Blackbird, Green-Tailed Towhee, American Dipper, Indigo Bunting, Mountain Plover, White-Throated Swift, Acorn Woodpecker, Aplomado Falcon

  1. New York
The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It's also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

The Peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal in the world flying over 200 mph during its characteristic hunting stoop. It’s also among the most widespread, seen in almost every place on earth except extreme polar regions, very high mountains, most tropical rain forests, and New Zealand.

Official State Bird: Eastern Bluebird

Why It Sucks: It shares the same state bird as Missouri. Not to mention, it’s not an appropriate bird to represent the state.

Best Candidate: Peregrine Falcon

Why: For one, New York was a leading state that helped restore its population after it was nearly depleted by DDT and other pesticide. Second, it’s practically the fastest animal on earth with a speed of over 200 mph. Third, it’s a very adaptable bird that has resided almost everywhere. Besides, as a city bird, they are highly beneficial to the ecosystem, especially when it comes to controlling the feral pigeon population, which are outright pests.

Other Options: Cerulean Warbler, Ring-Billed Gull, Wood Duck, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Goldeneye, Hooded Merganser, Common Loon, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Herring Gull, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Glossy Ibis, Cooper’s Hawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, American Kestrel, Blue Jay, Red-Tailed Hawk, Golden Eagle, Laughing Gull, Herring Gull, Great Black-Backed Gull, Roseate Tern, Barn Owl, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, American Crow, Common Raven, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Cedar Waxwing, Prothonotary Warbler, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Horned Lark, Cape May Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher, Black-Throated Blue Warbler

  1. North Carolina
The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it's said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

The Ruby-throated Hummingbird is the only breeding hummingbird in eastern North America. But in terms of area, it occupies the largest breeding range in the continent. Still, it’s said that people in North Carolina love this little hummingbird that many put hummingbird feeders to watch them.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Yes, it’s common and it’s pretty. But still, it’s used to represent 7 states, which means it’s time for a more appropriate state bird.

Best Candidate: Ruby-Throated Hummingbird

Why: Because it’s one of the most loved birds of the state that many people put up hummingbird feeders to watch them. Besides, it’s a beautiful bird in its own right that fits well on a postcard and it’s about time that it should be a state bird. Not to mention, it’s a way better choice than the Northern Cardinal.

Other Options: Carolina Wren, Prothonotary Warbler, Royal Tern, Carolina Chickadee, Wood Duck, Hooded Merganser, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Audubon’s Shearwater, Leach’s Storm Petrel, Brown Pelican, American White Pelican, Double-Breasted Cormorant, Anhinga, Great Cormorant, Great Egret, Great Blue Heron, Little Blue Heron, Green Heron, Snowy Egret, American White Ibis, Black Skimmer, Herring Gull, Eastern Whippoorwill, Belted Kingfisher, Pileated Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Jay, American Crow, Purple Martin, Tree Swallow, Red Wing Blackbird, Brown Thrasher, Eastern Towhee, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Cerulean Warbler, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. North Dakota
The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America's duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

The Blue-Winged Teal is among the latest ducks to migrate northward in the spring, and one of the first to migrate southward in the fall. They can also migrate long distances with some going all the way from Canada to South America. And since North Dakota is known as America’s duck nursery, it would make an appropriate state bird.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. North Dakota needs something more original since it’s said to be quite famous for its birds, particularly its ducks.

Best Candidate: Blue-Winged Teal

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common ducks in North Dakota and not in the nation (which is obviously the Mallard). Second, the state is famous among birders and hunters as America’s duck nursery. So it only makes sense that North Dakota should have a duck as its state bird.

Other Options: Nelson’s Sparrow, Chestnut-Collared Longspur, Wood Duck, American Wigeon, American Black Duck, Northern Pintail, Greater Scaup, Common Loon, Ruffed Grouse, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Gyrfalcon, Bufflehead, Hooded Merganser, Great Horned Owl, Barred Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Northern Shrike, Clark’s Nutcracker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bobolink, American Avocet, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Baird’s Sparrow, Ruddy Duck, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Eared Grebe, Double-Crested Cormorant, Upland Sandpiper

  1. Ohio
Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it's only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it'll be known as the

Since the Cleveland Browns decided to high tail it to Baltimore and change their name to the Ravens, I think it’s only fair that Ohio gets to use the Baltimore Oriole as its state bird. From now on, it’ll be known as the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states so yeah, which is as many as Ohio has presidents born there. Ohio needs a new and more original state bird.

Best Candidate: Baltimore Oriole

Why: For one, it has a similar color scheme as the Cincinnati Bengals to some extent. Second, it’s more common in Ohio than Maryland as well as well-loved there. And third, since Baltimore already took Cleveland’s football team and won 2 Super Bowls, I kind of thought it was only fair for Ohio to take Maryland’s current state bird as fair compensation. So in Ohio, this bird will now be called the “Cleveland Oriole.”

Other Options: Willow Flycatcher, Cerulean Warbler, Blue-Winged Warbler, Ruffed Grouse, Indigo Bunting, Red-Tailed Hawk, Northern Bobwhite, American Kestrel, Killdeer, Mourning Dove, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Yellow-Billed Cuckoo, Great Horned Owl, Eastern Screech Owl, Barred Owl, Common Nighthawk, Chimney Swift, Whippoorwill, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Downy Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Northern Flicker, Pileated Woodpecker, Eastern Wood Pewee, Acadian Flycatcher, Easter Kingbird, Blue-Headed Vireo, Blue Jay, American Crow, Horned Lark, Purple Martin, Barn Swallow, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Tufted Titmouse, Blue-Gray Gnatcatcher, Cedar Waxwing, Northern Parula, Scarlet Tanager, Eastern Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Blue Grosbeak, Dickissel, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Great Crested Flycatcher

  1. Oklahoma
The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn't stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

The male Painted Bunting is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America. Unfortunately, this doesn’t stop it from being captured as a caged bird during its wintering in Central America. Now the species is Near Threatened.

Official State Bird: Scissor-Tailed Flycatcher

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s a unique and interesting bird. But I’m not sure about its feathers which are kind of drab. Besides, Oklahoma can do better.

Best Candidate: Painted Bunting

Why: It is said to be the most beautiful bird in North America and it breeds in this state. Though difficult to find due to a declining population because of people in Central America, Mexico, and Cuba selling them as pets during their migration, Oklahoma is one of 4 states to have a significant population. Still, it’s a truly beautiful bird that should be on a postage stamp.

Other Options: Northern Bobwhite, Eastern Meadowlark, Mississippi Kite, Common Grackle, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Lesser Prairie Chicken, Scaled Quail, Northern Harrier, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Broad-Winged Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Common Gallinule, Barn Owl, Black-Billed Cuckoo, Greater Roadrunner, Great Horned Owl, Long-Eared Owl, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Golden-Fronted Woodpecker, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Downy Woodpecker, Great Crested Flycatcher, Loggerhead Shrike, Purple Martin, Cedar Waxwing, Blue Grosbeak, Indigo Bunting, Red Wing Blackbird

  1. Oregon
Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America's only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It's also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Now the American Dipper might not look any more than a stocky gray bird. But as North America’s only songbird, it has an extra eyelid to see underwater. It’s also known for its domed, ball-like nest near waterways.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. This means that Oregon needs a new state bird. Surely the state has more original avian wildlife than that.

Best Candidate: American Dipper

Why: It’s a mountain bird known to inhabit streams as well as the only aquatic songbird of North America. Its presence indicates good water quality as well as possesses a sweet song. Not to mention, their nests are some of the most extraordinary pieces of bird architecture ever. And like Oregon, it may not look very noteworthy but there are some things about it that make it quite interesting.

Other Options: Red-Breasted Nuthatch, Spotted Owl, Trumpeter Swan, Tufted Duck, Greater Sage Grouse, Columbian Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Mountain Quail, Western Grebe, Western Scrub-Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Northern Fulmar, Green Heron, Green-Tailed Towhee, Spotted Towhee, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Black-Headed Grosbeak, Lazuli Bunting, White-Tailed Kite, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Gray-Crowned Rosy Finch, Swainson’s Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Heerman’s Gull, Mew Gull, Ring-Billed Gull, Western Gull, Thayer’s Gull, Sabine’s Gull, Tufted Puffin, Flammulated Owl, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Anna’s Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Rufous Hummingbird, Red-Breasted Sapsucker, Pacific-Slope Flycatcher, Black Phoebe, Allen’s Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Steller’s Jay, Pinyon Jay, Black-Billed Magpie, Violet-Green Swallow

  1. Pennsylvania
The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It's also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

The Indigo Bunting is said to migrate at night, using the stars for guidance. It’s also said to possess an internal clock, enabling it to adjust their angle orientation to a star, even as that star moves through the night sky.

Official State Bird: Ruffed Grouse

Why It Sucks: As a native and lifelong resident of Pennsylvania, I have never seen this bird in my life. And I’m a rural resident as well as lived in this state for 25 years. Nor do I know anyone who has seen them in this state. Besides, it’s said that only 86% of these birds live in Canada. Guess they were all killed by hunters.

Best Candidate: Indigo Bunting

Why: For one, it’s one of the more common nester in Pennsylvania and has been seen in recent years almost everywhere in the state. Second, it has a distinctive sound as well as a bright blue feather display for the males (well, their feathers reflect as blue like the sky in good lighting. In poor lighting, they look black). Third, it’s a bird that’s more or less confined to the Eastern United States during its breeding season. Besides, it’s a more beautiful bird than the Ruffed Grouse.

Other Options: Scarlet Tanager, Black-Throated Blue Warbler, Downy Woodpecker, Tufted Titmouse, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Red Wing Blackbird, Yellow Warbler, Common Yellowthroat, Northern Harrier, Great Blue Heron, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Gray Catbird, Red-Headed Woodpecker, American Kestrel, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Peregrine Falcon, Killdeer, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Eastern Screech-Owl, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Eastern Kingbird, Bobolink, Great Crested Flycatcher, Philadelphia Vireo, Blue-Headed Vireo, Barred Owl, Eastern Towhee, Purple Martin, Snow Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Dickcissel, Cerulean Warbler, Hooded Warbler

  1. Rhode Island
Rhode Island may be a small state, but it's part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Rhode Island may be a small state, but it’s part of the summer breeding range of the Great Black-Backed Gull, which is the largest gull in the world. As one earl observer noted, “It surely seemed to be a king among the gulls, a merciless tyrant over its fellows, the largest and strongest of its tribe. No weaker gull dared to intrude upon its feudal domain.”

Official State Bird: Rhode Island Red

Why It Sucks: To put a short story short, it’s a freaking breed of chicken for God’s sake. Seriously, it’s unconscionable like Delaware’s.

Best Candidate: Great Black-Backed Gull

Why: It’s the largest gull in Rhode Island as well as a year-long resident in the state. And since Rhode Island is known for its beaches, it should only be fitting it be represented by a sea gull. Besides, it’s better than having a chicken as state bird.

Other Options: Herring Gull, Snow Bunting, Cedar Waxwing, Red-Bellied Woodpecker, Common Redpoll, White-Throated Sparrow, Northern Harrier, Purple Sandpiper, Ivory Gull, Common Grackle, Blue Jay, Laughing Gull, Gull-Billed Tern, Brown Noddy, Band-Rumped Storm Petrel, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, American Black Duck

  1. South Carolina
A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

A rare bird, the Red-Cockaded Woodpecker lives in the mature pine forests of the American South. While it pecks on wood like most woodpeckers, it specifically seeks living pines with red heart fungal disease. Such specificity of its habitat makes it extremely vulnerable to habitat loss.

Official State Bird: Carolina Wren

Why It Sucks: Well, it’s better than having a Northern Mockingbird which they used to have. Besides, it has “Carolina” in it. However, it’s kind of drab and found almost everywhere in the east.

Best Candidate: Red-Cockaded Woodpecker

Why: South Carolina is the best place to look for this rare species since it lives in cavities in mature pine forests. It’s listed as vulnerable. Besides, it’s prettier than the Carolina Wren.

Other Options: Audubon’s Shearwater, Brown Pelican, Wood Stork, American Black Vulture, Swallow-Tailed Kite, Mississippi Kite, Purple Gallinule, Killdeer, American Oystercatcher, Black-Necked Stilt, Carolina Chickadee, Brown Noddy, Royal Tern, Eastern Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Great Crested Flycatcher, Pine Warbler, Summer Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Painted Bunting, Boat-Tailed Grackle

  1. South Dakota
The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

The Upland Sandpiper is a shorebird of grasslands, preferring the open grassy areas of the Great Plains. Hunting and loss of habitat have caused its population to decline since the 19th century.

Official State Bird: Ring-Necked Pheasant

Why It Sucks: In short, it’s an introduced Eurasian Plains bird. It was brought over to the US by English settlers who wanted to bring some old country bird to shoot at.

Best Candidate: Upland Sandpiper

Why: While most sandpipers usually favor the coast and mudflats, this bird prefers open country with tall grasses. South Dakota is in the Great Plains which is known for its grassland and prairies. Clearly these two are meant for each other. May not be as flashy as the Ring-Necked Pheasant but at least it’s a native.

Other Options: Sharp-Tailed Grouse, Blue-Winged Teal, Common Loon, Red-Tailed Hawk, Pied-Bill Grebe, Eared Grebe, Western Grebe, Lazuli Bunting, Greater Prairie Chicken, Ferruginous Hawk, Swainson’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker

  1. Tennessee
The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

The Wood Duck is one of the most colorful and stunningly beautiful waterfowl of North America. It is a perching duck that nests in trees or nesting boxes if available. And these nesting boxes have helped increased its breeding population, especially in Tennessee.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states including Florida and Texas. Seriously, Tennessee needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Wood Duck

Why: Well, I think it provides a perfect combination for what Tennessee represents. It’s rustic enough for the Appalachian and down home country music. But the male is rather strikingly flashy enough for the music culture of Nashville and Memphis. Besides, Tennessee has a conservation program for these with people building boxes for them.

Other Options: Yellow-Throated Warbler, Louisiana Waterthrush, Double-Crested Cormorant, Great Blue Heron, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Red-Tailed Hawk, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Tennessee Warbler, Killdeer, Great Horned Owl, Pileated Woodpecker, Barred Owl, Great Crested Flycatcher, American Kestrel, American Crow, Blue Jay, Cedar Waxwing, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Bufflehead, Common Loon, Purple Martin, Nashville Warbler, Cerulean Warbler, Bobolink, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Bobwhite Quail

  1. Texas
Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Now the Aplomado Falcon might have a small sustaining population in Southern Texas. But this is the predator most small birds fear which says a lot. Besides, this is the kind of raptor that would make a state bird Texans would be proud of.

Official State Bird: Northern Mockingbird

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 5 states which includes Florida. Seriously, Texas, you’re the state with an obnoxious ego bigger than your love for oil, firearms, and capital punishment. Your people take special pride in their cowboy culture, state flag, and history that kids all over the country have to learn it in their history class (which is important for the US to be fair but still). Not to mention, you have plenty of species of birds from which to choose from. Own it.

Best Candidate: Aplomado Falcon

Why: Let’s face it, I can go with a lot unique birds here. But I know that Northern Crested Caracara is too much identified with Mexico while the Roseate Spoonbill is a bird the people of Texas would never really be comfortable with. Now I know that this bird doesn’t have much of a range in Texas. But it’s a bird with a Spanish name and it’s said that small birds fear it more than most predators. So I think this is a bird Texans can really take pride in.

Other Options: Black-Crested Titmouse, Olive Sparrow, Cave Swallow, Roseate Spoonbill, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Swainson’s Hawk, Aplomado Falcon, Plain Chachalaca, Lesser Goldfinch, Audubon’s Shearwater, Painted Bunting, Neotropic Cormorant, Anhinga, Magnificent Frigatebird, Reddish Egret, Tricolored Heron, White-Tailed Hawk, Zone-Tailed Hawk, Gray Hawk, Northern Crested Caracara, Purple Gallinule, Inca Dove, Grooved-Billed Ani, Elf Owl, Ringed Kingfisher, Green Kingfisher, Ladder-Backed Woodpecker, Acorn Woodpecker, Green Jay, Mexican Jay, Juniper Titmouse, Black-Crested Titmouse, Golden-Cheeked Warbler, Black-Chinned Sparrow, Varied Bunting

  1. Utah
The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it's kind of neglectful, but it's sometimes how nature works, man.

The Snowy Plover raises 2 broods a year, sometimes 3 in places where the breeding season is long. When the chicks hatch, the female deserts her mate and her brood as well as initiates a new breeding attempt with a different mate. Yeah, I know it’s kind of neglectful, but it’s sometimes how nature works, man.

Official State Bird: California Gull

Why It Sucks: Yes, I get it helped save Mormons from a locust swarm or so I’m told. Utahns even have a gold statue of it commemorating the occasion. But it’s a bird with “California” in its name for God’s sake. The state is not near a coastline. Besides, the bird only uses Utah as a migration stop anyway. Not to mention, I’m sure there were plenty of other birds that helped save Mormons from a locust swarm as well.

Best Candidate: Snowy Plover

Why: Well, unlike the California Gull, it actually lives in Utah to breed even if it’s just the Great Salt Lake area.  Still, this is seen as a threatened bird but the state does have a substantial population of them. Besides, it’s quite adorable as well as eats insects.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Gambel’s Quail, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Grebe, Clark’s Grebe, Swainson’s Hawk, Wilson’s Phalarope, Red-Necked Phalarope, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Marbled Godwit, Western Sandpiper, Long-Billed Dowitcher, American White Pelican, White-Faced Ibis, Eared Grebe, Northern Goshawk, Sharp-Shinned Hawk, Ferruginous Hawk, Prairie Falcon, Broad-Tailed Hummingbird, Calliope Hummingbird, Western Kingbird, Loggerhead Shrike, Steller’s Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Pinyon Jay, Clark’s Nutcracker, Violet-Green Swallow, Juniper Titmouse, American Dipper, Lazuli Bunting

  1. Vermont
The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it's said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

The Black-Throated Blue Warbler is a deep forest bird of the American northeast. Of course, it’s said the sexes of this bird look so different that they were originally described as 2 different species.

Official State Bird: Hermit Thrush

Why It Sucks: It’s nice but it doesn’t incite the kind of enthusiasm I’d have for Ben & Jerry, cheese, or Bernie Sanders.

Best Candidate: Black-Throated Blue Warbler

Why: Well, it’s adorable and colorful like some people from Vermont. Besides, it prefers upland forests with tons of old growth. And I’m sure the Green Mountain State has plenty of them. Not to mention, it’s bird that only breeds in the US northeast.

Other Options: Chestnut-Sided Warbler, Least Flycatcher, Black-Capped Chickadee, Snow Bunting, Dunlin, Purple Sandpiper, Red-Tailed Hawk, Barred Owl, Eastern Screech-Owl, Northern Saw-Whet Owl, Horned Lark, Common Redpoll, Eastern Kingbird, Black-Billed Cuckoo, American Woodcock, Veery, Blue-Headed Vireo, Scarlet Tanager, White-Throated Sparrow, Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker, Osprey, Killdeer

  1. Virginia
The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It's also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you've seen in most bird species, this isn't the case.

The Belted Kingfisher always seems to have an air of self-importance while patrolling up and down rivers and shorelines. It’s also one of the few species where the female is more colorful than the male. As you’ve seen in most bird species, this isn’t the case.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states in the country. Surely a state like Virginia should have a more original state bird than that.

Best Candidate: Belted Kingfisher

Why: Since Virginia is a state with a lot of wetlands and waterways, then this would be a perfect state to be represented by a fishing bird. Not to mention, it’s a permanent resident in Virginia as well as a much better bird for the state than the Cardinal. And unlike the Cardinal, it has no red coat.

Other Options: Saltmarsh Sparrow, Barred Owl, Virginia Rail, Double-Crested Cormorant, Green Heron, Black-Crowned Night Heron, Yellow-Crowned Night Heron, Great Blue Heron, Black Vulture, Wood Duck, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, American Kestrel, Killdeer, American Woodcock, Laughing Gull, Great Horned Owl, Whippoorwill, Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, Pileated Woodpecker, Blue Jay, Fish Crow, Eastern Kingbird, Red-Eyed Vireo, Purple Martin, White-Breasted Nuthatch, Gray Thrasher, Cedar Waxwing, Yellow Warbler, Scarlet Tanager, Indigo Bunting, Blue Grosbeak, Red Wing Blackbird, Common Grackle, Green Heron, Tree Swallow, Northern Parula, Black-and-White Warbler, Cooper’s Hawk

  1. Washington
The Spotted Owl's status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it's one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

The Spotted Owl’s status as the indicator species of old-growth forests, it’s one of the most studied species in the world. Unfortunately, preservation efforts for this bird have been controversial in the Pacific Northwest, for obvious reasons. This is especially the case since those most vocal against its conservation are from the logging industry.

Official State Bird: Eastern Goldfinch

Why It Sucks: Though known as the “Willow” Goldfinch, it’s basically the same state bird as Iowa and New Jersey but by a different name. Nice try, Washington.

Best Candidate: Spotted Owl

Why: Let’s just say since it’s experienced a significant decline in Washington that it’s near threatened. However, conserving this bird has brought a lot of contention between conservationists, loggers, cattle grazers, and developers. A decision to reinforce a critical habitat for the owl was challenged by The Arizona Cattle Growers’ Association. Thus, because of the controversy the term, Spotted Owl has come to mean, “trivial environmental issues that do nothing but waste land for economic development as well as taxpayer money.” Still, I think saving the Spotted Owl’s habitat is worth it since “old growth” forests are almost impossible to replace. Besides, preserving these “old growth” forests doesn’t just save the owls either.

Other Options: Glaucous-Winged Gull, Evening Grosbeak, Western Tanager, Lazuli Bunting, Northern Harrier, Northern Goshawk, Western Screech-Owl, Great Horned Owl, Common Loon, Violet-Green Swallow, Yellow-Headed Blackbird, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Black-Billed Magpie, Rufous Hummingbird, Anna’s Hummingbird, Steller’s Jay, Dark-Eyed Junco, Ferruginous Hawk, Black Oystercatcher, American Avocet, Black-Necked Stilt, Great Gray Owl, Boreal Owl

  1. West Virginia
The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

The Cerulean Warbler is the fastest declining neotropical migrant songbird. Yet, despite its problems, there seems to be declining in West Virginia a lot slower than other places. No one knows why.

Official State Bird: Northern Cardinal

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 7 states. Now I’m sure West Virginia might have some good excuse on this since the state is an environmental disaster area. But still, I don’t imagine a Northern Cardinal when I think about West Virginia. Besides, it’s the state bird of Virginia as well which West Virginia split from during the American Civil War because it wanted nothing to do with the Confederacy.

Best Candidate: Cerulean Warbler

Why: It’s a common breeding bird in West Virginia despite the fact it’s the fastest declining songbird in North America as well as prefers mature forests with closed canopies as its habitat. But despite West Virginia’s environmental problems, these birds seem to love it there that they return there to breed every year.

Other Options: Swainson’s Warbler, Rusty Blackbird, Northern Bobwhite, Black Scoter, Semipalmated Sandpiper, Buff-Breasted Sandpiper, Chimney Swift, Olive-Sided Flycatcher, Golden-Winged Warbler, Bachman’s Sparrow, Henslow’s Sparrow, Long-Tailed Duck, Bicknell’s Thrush

  1. Wisconsin
The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they've been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

The Trumpeter Swan is the largest North American waterfowl. However, while the commercial trade in swan skins and excessive hunting have led to significant decline, populations have been increasing where they’ve been introduced. Wisconsin being one of those states that has.

Official State Bird: American Robin

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 3 states. This means that Wisconsin needs a new state bird.

Best Candidate: Trumpeter Swan

Why: Well, it’s one of the most notable native birds of North America. Besides, Wisconsin had a successful recovery for them since the 1980s which has been quite successful. Besides, it doesn’t look half bad on postcards.

Other Options: Golden-Winged Warbler, Sandhill Crane, Cooper’s Hawk, Downy Woodpecker, Hairy Woodpecker, Red-Headed Woodpecker, Killdeer, Purple Martin, Common Loon, Common Merganser, Bobolink, Greater Prairie Chicken, Cerulean Warbler, Henslow’s Sparrow, Osprey, Red-Shouldered Hawk, Indigo Bunting, Whippoorwill, Dickcissel, Blue-Winged Teal, Eastern Kingbird, Tree Swallow, Blue Jay, Rose-Breasted Grosbeak, Whooping Crane

  1. Wyoming
The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It's also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

The Ferruginous Hawk is the raptor of the open country and the largest hawk in North America. It is often mistaken for an eagle due to its size, proportions, and behavior. It’s also the most adaptable nester of the raptors as well.

Official State Bird: Western Meadowlark

Why It Sucks: It’s the state bird of 6 states. Obviously, Wyoming probably has a bird diversity that gives it no excuse.

Best Candidate: Ferruginous Hawk

Why: Well, Wyoming is home to all kinds of cool wildlife that I can’t think of a better bird to represent it than the largest hawk in North America. Besides, hawks are cool.

Other Options: Greater Sage-Grouse, Barrow’s Goldeneye, Common Loon, Swainson’s Hawk, Pinyon Jay, Western Scrub-Jay, Steller’s Jay, Great Horned Owl, Boreal Owl, Spotted Owl, Lewis’s Woodpecker, Loggerhead Shrike, Violet-Green Swallow, Snow Bunting, Lazuli Bunting, Prairie Falcon, Great Gray Owl, Black-Billed Magpie, Western Tanager