Ghastly Halloween Greetings in the Ghoulish Days of Old

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 19, 2015

While Halloween cards are available at any store, they aren’t usually considered a Halloween tradition by most people. I mean it’s not a big card holiday by any stretch of the imagination today. After all, Halloween may be a big holiday, but it’s nowhere near as important as holidays like Christmas or Easter. However, back when everyone basically wrote letters to their loved ones, it wasn’t unusual for people to send greeting cards to their friends and family on almost every major holiday. Halloween being among them. Now some of these might be quite cutesy and delightful like you’d expect from any vintage greeting card. However, this post isn’t about them because I know showing cutesy vintage Halloween cards would make me lose disenchanted viewers. Instead, I’ll show vintage Halloween cards that might make you wonder what kind of recreational drugs greeting card designers were on during the 19th century. Some of them are quite creepy like you’d expect. Others are downright weird and possibly inappropriate. So for your reading pleasure, here are some old timey Halloween greeting cards, guaranteed to freak you out.

Nothing brings out the Halloween spirit more than pranking a cop.

Now that boy may be laughing tonight. But I'm sure that won't be the case tomorrow. Don't prank cops. That's just asking for trouble, especially if you're black.

Now that boy may be laughing tonight. But I’m sure that won’t be the case tomorrow. You know when the cop gives him a brutally violent beatdown for knocking off his hat. Don’t prank cops. That’s just asking for trouble, especially if you’re black.

2. Back in the day people played Halloween games a little differently.

Apparently fishing for apples and bondage were a big part of Halloween festivities back in the day. At least among the adults of course.

3. On Halloween night, your fate is in your hands.

So on Halloween night, don’t dress up like a sailor. Or else the angry pumpkin god will murder you. Then again, he might murder if you don’t either.

4. “On Halloween by pumpkin light, this witch will help you choose right.”

From I-Mockery: “I’m not sure what the witch is helping her choose… what shade of blush to wear perhaps? Should a person really be accepting blindfolded beauty tips from a witch?”

5. On Halloween, let the burning walnuts decide who’s right for you.

From I-Mockery: “That’s right folks, allow life’s truly important decisions to be settled by walnuts on fire. It’s a great way to decide on whom to marry, what stocks to invest in, whether or not to commit suicide, etc.”

6. Have a jolly Halloween and write back. Or else.

Something tells me that this girl might grow up to be the crazy homicidal girlfriend of her time. Really don’t have a great feeling of seeing her with that knife. Yeah, I think you might want to write that letter.

7. Halloween greetings, courtesy of the ghost pumpkin.

From I-Mockery: “It looked festive enough at first, but then it was set ablaze and took on a whole new meaning.” Guess the kids would be turned to ash by morning. Poor kids.

8. On Halloween, be aware of things that might not be what they seem.

While she didn’t know it at the time, Susie unwittingly staged the first bra burning in history. Of course, this was because she mistook a bra on the coat rack for a ghost.

9. Happy Halloween from the naked pumpkin man and his black cat.

“I’ll love ’em and squeeze ’em and keep ’em forever and ever.” Yeah, I’m sure the cat’s not liking that. Who would anyway.

10. Of course, nothing says Halloween like a romantic serenade with pumpkin heads.

Man, this seems to take out all the romance out of serenading someone. Yeah, if Romeo and Juliet were done with pumpkin heads, it would look as stupid as this.

11. There’s nothing on Halloween like spending a night stealing front gates from other people’s homes.

Better hope that the owner can afford a new gate and doesn’t call the cops. Because Halloween or not, theft and vandalism are crimes.

12. Nothing says Halloween like having pumpkin children put jack o’lanterns on their black cats.

Man, black cats really get a raw deal. If everyone doesn’t think they’re bad luck, they’re being subjected to other types of animal cruelty. Seriously, it seems like black cats bring more bad luck to themselves. Also, those pumpkin heads are freaky.

13. Scared of ghosts? Your pig will take care of it.

“Oh, shit, Howard, that pumpkin was supposed to be part of my Halloween costume this year. Now I have to go as a ghost for the 3rd year in a row.”

14. “If we were here, I’d bet I’d find a red ear.”

Hey, I didn’t know they had Oompa Loompas on Halloween greeting cards. Then again, they are quite terrifying in their own right.

15. Remember, on Halloween, the more puffs it takes to blow out a candle, the less likely you’ll be married within a year.

From I-Mockery: “And if it’s one of those trick self-relighting candles, you can sleep with the girlfriend/boyfriend of
whoever left it in front of you because that jerk just ruined your chances of ever getting married.”

16. Nothing makes great Halloween fun than shoving a wooden stake up somebody’s ass.

Oooh, sure hate to be that guy. Yeah, that’s sure going to be a real pain in the ass, literally. Good luck, sitting comfortably after that.

17. Happy Halloween greetings and don’t mind the black cats crossing your path.

From I-Mockery: “When one black cat crosses your path, it’s bad luck. When many cross your path? It’s a conga line and you had damn well better join in the fun.” Or else, you’ll probably have bad luck for the rest of your life.

18. You can’t celebrate Halloween without enjoying a piece of pumpkin pie.

Now it seems that old Jack is faced with an ethical dilemma. Though he didn’t want to offend his host, he wasn’t too keen on engaging in cannibalism either.

19. Uh-oh, seems like the witch should really check how fast she’s driving.

Because I don’t think the cucumber had long to live after this. In fact, it’s most likely he was turned into cucumber mush.

20. Surprisingly, it seems that jack o’lanterns are interested in the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Of course, they might just be reading from a pamphlet left over by some mega church or Jehovah's Witnesses. Still pretty funny though.

Of course, since they didn’t understand much of what they read in the Bible, they decided to get a book that would clear things up. Or they were just bored. I don’t know.

21. Remember that traveling with a candle at night keeps the goblins away.

However, this is only as long as the candle is unscented. Because goblins just love scented candles.

22. Just so you know, pumpkin monsters always enjoy sweets.

I’ve seen quite a lot of these in vintage Halloween cards. And I think they’re just utterly freaky as hell and designed by someone on some absinthe addiction.

23. On Halloween, you’ll see all kinds of strange things out there.

Like a pumpkin headed woman in a kimono with her eyes strung up by nailed ropes. Yeah, very strange and freaky indeed.

24. If you laugh at a witch on Halloween, you’ll be turned into a pumpkin person.

I don’t get what was so funny about the witch here. But still, a pumpkin guy like that smoking a pipe? Well, that’s just goddamn ridiculous, it’s hilarious.

25. Happy Halloween, now let’s watch these two split a guy’s acorn squash head open.

Okay, that is just plain wrong. I mean the squash obviously has a face. Makes me wonder what they did with the rest of him.

26. For a wild pig, there’s nothing on Halloween like tripping a Scotsman.

Hope the guy didn’t land on his head or he might’ve found himself in an embarrassing situation. This assuming that there’s truth in the notion that Scots wear nothing under their kilts.

27. Happy Halloween and watch out for the cops or that black cat.

Looks like that one mouse is being chased by some cop over some Halloween vandalism. Meanwhile, I’m sure the cheese holding mouse’s time with his girlfriend will be his last.

28. You “auto” have a happy Halloween.

And you “auto” not drive while on acid. I think this guy had a bit too many. Oh my God, those eyes!

29. Hope your candle stays lit at both ends this Halloween.

From I-Mockery: “Actually, if both candles stay lit, a vampire bat will come drop a load of guano in your jack-o-lantern’s nasal cavity.” Yeah, sounds about right.

30. May you have a thrilling Halloween but beware of the pumpkin ghosts.

I-Mockery: “Nothing makes for a thrilling Halloween quite like a trio of pumpkin ghosts having just raped flying black cats in the sky.” Yeah, the cats look really traumatized up there.

31. “I’ll get you, my pretty, and with my goblin army, no one will stop me.”

From I-Mockery: “I’m all for trying to scare people, but was it really necessary for that one goblin to moon this couple?Also, the actual moon is really enjoying sniffing that poor woman’s ass. Creepy.” I’ll say. Yeah, don’t want the moon sniffing up my ass either.

32. May the light keep the Devil away from you this Halloween night.

From I-Mockery: “The Devil will gladly drop his pitchfork to seize the opportunity to have a pumpkin man help shove an archaic fleshlight onto his crotch.” So that’s what the fringed bon-bon looking thing is. Don’t really see that with the devil.

33. Halloween is always known as a night for mischief.

“Oh, shit, must’ve slept over Halloween and missed the witches’ meeting. And they’re putting their Christmas decorations out now.” What an idiot.

34. Remember that on Halloween, your pumpkin could become a portal releasing a mist of evils into this world if you leave it on top of a dessert.

Now that's guaranteed to traumatize children. This is especially true with the jack o'lantern clown face.

Now that’s guaranteed to traumatize children. This is especially true with the creepy jack o’lantern clown face.

35. Of course, witches’ meetings always have to have musical accompaniment.

Yeah, I bet you’d freak out if you saw what was under that pumpkin man’s kilt. Really don’t want to know about that.

36. Happy Halloween, and don’t let Mr. McGregor chase you out of the pumpkin patch.

“Goddamn, kids, how dare you steal my pumpkins! I’ll make you pay for this! You haven’t heard the last of it!”

37. Remember to protect yourself against rouge jack o’lanterns.

Not sure who I’m more scared of in this: the fearful jack o’lantern or the creepy boy with the knife. Decisions, decisions.

38. Nothing beats the festivities on Halloween night than seeing a bunch of jack o’lanterns playing poker.

"Charlie, you might want to bow out of the game if you lose this round. I know you don't have a lot of money and you'll have to run out somehow. Besides, you've already put $500 in the pot already.

“Charlie, you might want to bow out of the game if you lose this round. I know you don’t have a lot of money and you’ll have to run out somehow. Besides, the rest of us have enough to play all night.”

39. “Don’t be scared. The goblins are just having fun. They’re not trying to hurt you.”

Yeah, those goblins are only out to have a good time, evil witch lady in red. Of course, she’s the one letting them out of the pumpkin. Not sure if I trust her.

40. Of course, Halloween is a time for lovers to make up in the pumpkin patch.

Okay, let me get this straight. These two pumpkins are making out inside another pumpkin which is watching in anticipation. Does anyone see anything wrong with that?

41. Have a safe and happy Halloween, and don’t worry about spending the night in the pumpkin patch.

If these spirits were lurking around in the pumpkin patch every night, I suppose Linus would have second thoughts about waiting for the Great Pumpkin. Yeah, he might think spending all night in the pumpkin patch just isn’t worth it.

42. Remember step away from the light!

I’m sure that kid in red is a racist caricature from the facial expression. But yeah, I’d be shitting my pants if I saw a big, moving jack o’lantern head with feathers on top.

43. Of course, human and pumpkin head pairings weren’t always frowned upon.

I see the pumpkin guy is really impressed by the night lady's ta-tas (as you can guess how creepily he stares at them). Still, God only knows what their kids would look like if they ever procreate.

I see the pumpkin guy is really impressed by the night lady’s ta-tas (as you can guess how creepily he stares at them). You can guess where this is headed.

44. Remember that ghosts could be lurking around these parts on All Hallows Eve.

While Pumpkin headed men in white sheets could be leading children to their untimely deaths. Yeah, stay way from pumpkin headed ghosts, please.

45. Remember, children, that if a pumpkin headed ghost doesn’t lead you to your death, he’ll force you to row his boat for free.

“C’mon, kid’s the night’s not going to last for ever. Row faster. Row faster.” Man, that pumpkin head is terrifying.

46. Sleep tight this Halloween night because you run the risk of being kidnapped by bat flying goblins.

I would be screaming like hell if I were that girl. But she seems more curious and calm about being abducted for some reason.

47. Of course, beware of the witches peering in windows looking for delicious children to eat.

“Let’s see. The younger girl is too skinny. The older girl is chunky enough but that doesn’t mean anything. But the little boy is muscular which is just right. Perhaps I can cook him medium rare.”

48. Apparently, demons like to torture pumpkin people in their spare time.

Like I said before, those pumpkin people are creepy as hell. I mean they look like they’re from another planet. The demons aren’t much better.

49. Don’t forget to put on a show with your costume this Halloween night.

And it seems this woman is performing a strip show with all the perverted pumpkin heads watching. And she’s about to disrobe her skull and crossbones cape.

50. “May the Halloween nutshell, unto you a good fortune tell.”

Of course, I can guess this is a vision a card designer got after drinking too much absinthe. Yeah, kind of freaky if you agree with me, especially with the jack o’lanterns on her wings.

Halloween Cakes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 18, 2015

When it comes to finding tacky and inappropriate stuff for Halloween, it’s a unique challenge compared to most holidays. I mean when you got a holiday like Christmas, Easter, and Valentines Day, anything that seems gross, inappropriate, creepy, or tacky will do. Since Halloween is known for stuff that intentionally scare or creep people out, this poses a unique challenge. If you want to know, you can see my post on vintage Halloween ads. And finding bad Halloween cakes are no exception. Now I know that many people have parties for Halloween and might also order cakes as well. Now I can do a post showing all the great scary Halloween cakes out there. But you would probably not read it at all. So instead, I’ll focus on the store bought pastry disasters that would scare even the most terrifying monster out there. So without further adieu, here are some Halloween cakes not worth scaring for.

When ordering Halloween cupcakes, it’s recommended you go with bats.

Those are bats? Seriously, they just look black scribbles on orange icing. You’d expect stuff like that from a 4-year-old.

2. “Happy Hallowen, Trick or Troat?”

Seriously, do cake decorators not have spell check or something? Because I think people know how to spell “Halloween” and “treat.”

3. Of course, a ghost is a simple design for any Halloween cake. Let’s hope nobody messes this up.

I’m sure ghosts take a fluid appearance and you can take some degree of leeway drawing one. However, these look like sperm, not ghosts. A decorator should know not to draw anything that looks like sperm.

4. Now these look like cupcakes you can really get your hands on.

Actually contrary to what Colonel Sanders once said, these don’t look anywhere near finger lickin’ good. In fact, they look very finger lickin’ bad in my mind.

5. Of course, I heard that Frankenstein’s monster is a very popular cake design this Halloween.

Okay, what the hell is this? I mean that doesn’t look like Frankenstein’s monster. He does not have a head shaped like that or teeth going sideways.

6. Well, at least this Frankenstein monster cake has a face, save for maybe the nose.

That’s a nose? Really, that looks like something that belongs between Frankenstein’s legs than his eyes. Seriously, who decorates noses like that? That’s crazy.

7. Hop aboard the Rest in Peace Bus, we give free rides!

What’s with the green fingers hanging from the trunk? That makes no goddamn sense for some reason.

8. Of course, bats always carry a rather scary feature on any Halloween cake, especially in groups.

For the love of God, those don’t look like bats. They might as well be birds for crying out loud. Can’t the cake decorator know the difference?

9. Cake not scary enough? Put a spider on it.

Sorry, but I don’t think a spider is helping in this situation, especially if it looks like a cute little fur ball. This cake is lame.

10. Hope your Halloween party is a blast with this vampire Elvis cake.

From Cake Wrecks: “I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!” Yeah, not very intimidating at all.

11. Not surprisingly, pumpkins are another popular cake subject for Halloween.

And this one just happens to remind me of Edvard Munch’s The Scream for some reason. Also, its nose is too close to its mouth.

12. On any monstrous Halloween cake, you can’t have too many eyeballs.

From Cake Wrecks: “I was looking at a mud puddle, and it spoke to me, and it said, ‘Give me the face of a hippie, man. Plus a crap ton of edible glitter and plastic eyeballs.’ So I did.” Couldn’t say it better myself.

13. Of course, adding blood can makes things all the more scarier.

Now what is this? Ghost? Skeleton? Something from a horror movie? A bad attempt at drawing anything worth freaking people out? You decide.

14. Beware of the pink plastic footed purple brick monster!

From Cake Wrecks: “What’s got four plastic feet, plastic eyes, a plastic hat, and vaguely disconcerting icing “hair” sprouting out of a purple brick? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS THIS.” Me neither. Nor do I want to know.

15. When doing a vampire cake, make sure it looks like one that could suck your blood.

However, this isn’t how you should do a vampire cake for Halloween. This vampire looks like he’s an embarrassing love child of the Count from Sesame Street. Seriously, it’s too cute.

16. All right, if you can’t choose between ghost and jack o’lantern, we could just mesh them together. Nobody will notice.

Actually they will. I mean that doesn’t look like any pumpkin I’ve seen in my life. Now it just seems to resemble a really misshapen pumpkin for almost no reason at all.

17. Always try to give your monster cake a scary face if you could.

Now that’s a face that could haunt anyone’s nightmares. But not necessarily for the right reasons though. Still, don’t what the hell this thing is supposed to be. And that’s pretty scary.

18. Beware the dreaded pod baby if you dare.

Now what the hell does this have to do with Halloween? Other than the fangs, I don’t see any point. Also, this is just so weird looking for some reason.

19. Sometimes it’s best to go simple such as a moon and night sky.

That does not look like a moon in the night sky. That looks like a banana shooting laser beams. Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

20. If you want a simple cake design this Halloween, go with a ghost.

This is not a ghost. This is a roll of darkened toilet paper with arms and eyes. And now, it’s angry.

21. Remember, that yellow eyes can make a ghost look even scarier, especially semicircular ones.

From Cake Wrecks: “I am not ‘pretty,’ I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?” Yeah, that does look like a really scary roll of toilet paper. Not.

22. Nothing is scarier on Halloween than a giant green monster.

From Cake Wrecks: “Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident. Because if THAT doesn’t say “Happy Halloween”… then don’t worry ‘cuz the board does.” Yeah, kind of looks like that. Also reminds me a bit of the Pirate Parrot for some reason. Not sure why.

23. Nothing is scarier in a modern home than a possessed stove burner.

You know the kind of burners that spontaneously set fire to whole kitchens without any alert from the smoke detector. Yeah, haunted appliances are so in right now.

24. Nothing captures the spirit of Halloween more than a cake of mummified, misshapen candy corn?

Oh, my God. For one, nobody likes candy corn, let alone with a smiley face. Second, it’s even more stupid that it’s made to look like a mummy.

25. When it comes to making you gag this Halloween season, maggots can’t be beat.

Now I know that there’s a lot of gross stuff associated with Halloween. But I think maggot cakes would just make me either throw up or lose my appetite.

26. Want a creepy cake? Go with a green spider.

Yes, it has 8 legs and fangs. But it doesn’t seem creepy or scary for some reason. In fact, it looks pretty lame if I do say so myself.

27. When doing a circular cake, always stick with a pumpkin.

That’s not a pumpkin. That’s an orange baseball with eyes after a dog has just taken a crap on it. What it has to do with Halloween, I have no idea.

28. Summon your dead ancestors to your Halloween party with this Oujia board cake.

Now that’s the worst spelling of Ouijia I’ve ever seen. Seriously, where’s a dictionary when you need it. Could see that the decorator really needed help with this one.

29. Of course, ghosts cakes can have virtually any shape.

Since when does toilet paper ever get angry? I thought being an ass wipe was the gist of its existence.

30. When you don’t have a Halloween monster in mind, you can always design your own.

Now this is what you get when you cross Princess Leia, Dracula, a Sesame Street muppet and Bride of Frankenstein. Yeah, not very scary if you ask me.

31. Nothing makes a Halloween cake like having creepy crawlies on it.

Now I can understand why you have the spider and web. But why ants? Seriously, ants aren’t scary unless they’re as big as Godzilla like in Them! Besides, there are plenty of more suitable insects out there to give people the heebie jeebies. Ants aren’t among them.

32. Happy Halloween from your colorful spermie friends?

Once again, ghosts shouldn’t be decorated to look like sperm for God’s sake. Second, what the hell do these colorful sperm have to do with Halloween?

33. Any cake can be a Halloween cake, you just have to add ghosts and pumpkins to it.

Let’s just say when it comes to pop culture, a Spongebob Squarepants cake really doesn’t make a great backdrop. In fact, it looks absolutely stupid.

34. Of course, getting ghosts wrong can really lead to some awkward situation.

From Cake Wrecks: “WHAT in the name of sweet Lassie is that spider doing?!?” Was going to ask the same question myself. Okay, I don’t want to know.

35. Don’t have an idea for a Halloween cake? Just add some candy corn.

Candy Corn: the least popular thing associated with Halloween. It’s basically inedible sugar wax. But it’s so easy, anyone can do it.

36. You can turn any cake into a Halloween one if you just add a plastic spider.

Before the spider was added, it was originally a birthday present cake. Now it’s bound to freak you out now. Yeah, spine-chilling.

37. “Have a nice day,” from your local smiley face vampire.

Now this is just wrong. I mean really wrong. Seriously, you can add fangs to a smiley face but it would never look appropriate for Halloween. Sorry, but this is just so ridiculous.

38. Need a Halloween cake fast. No problem, just stick an eyeball on a dog cake. Now it’s an eyeball monster.

Now that just doesn’t look right for some reason. I mean it more or less resembles a dog with a freaking eyeball. More awkward than scary, don’t you agree.

39. Uh, a jack o’lantern cake is supposed to have eyes, right?

Let’s just say I don’t think a blind jack o’lantern really gives into the Halloween spirit. Seriously, that just looks like something is missing.

40. Need to sell a dog cake on Halloween? Make it into a zombie dog.

Oh, that is just doggone awful. You can make it green and add patches, but you can’t make this dog even remotely scary.

Scary Fun with Halloween Vintage Advertising

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 17, 2015

Since Halloween has always been a popular holiday that involves costumes, parties, decorations, and trick or treating, it’s no surprise that plenty of companies try to cash in on the whole thing. And it was no different then than it is now. Of course, you have plenty of Halloween ads for food and clothes, but you also see plenty for things you might not expect like antifreeze. Besides, Halloween gives advertisers something to make money off of between Back to School and Christmas with a downtime of November in between. Yeah, I know I forgot Thanksgiving but that holiday is only celebrated in the United States and it’s not a particularly fun one at that. Well, I know it’s a big time for food advertisers. But I mostly wrote a vintage ad post for Thanksgiving because I was bored out of my mind. Still, while I can show some of the best vintage Halloween advertising, I know you’d all be bored to tears . So instead, I’ll focus on the Halloween ads that are unintentionally scary or funny, don’t seem to make sense, and have the possibility of being inappropriate. Some might feature creepy children. Some might imply scary messages. And some might seem like these advertisers would do almost anything to sell you their product. So without further adieu, here are some scary Halloween ads for your reading pleasure.

Enjoy a scary ghost story with an Edison Phonograph.

For some reason the scariest thing about this ad to me is that chubby naked kid with the mirror. He just looks so evil under the full moon that it’s disturbing.

2. Necco: Everyone’s Favorite Gobblin’ Halloween Candy.

I’m sure the giant jack o’lantern would love kiddies stuffing giant Necco wafers into his mouth. Of course, we should all know that many Necco candies have a chemical composition similar to chalk.

3. Seagram’s Five Crown: the whiskey for wasted witches.

Of course, this ad does shed life on witches like flying their broom under the influence and having people throw pumpkins at them. Of course, you never hear of either on Harry Potter.

4. With Necco wafers, there is no trick to this treat!

Yes, there is. Necco wafers are candies made from a mixture of sugar, blackboard chalk, and food coloring. They are utterly disgusting that they are usually the last items eaten in a trick or treater’s Halloween candy. That’s not my opinion that these are facts.

5. Frankenstein can’t have his Bloody Marys without Smirnoff.

Of course, Frankenstein has admitted in this ad that he has a drinking problem. So when he goes on the rampage at night, he’s not angry. He’s just going through an alcohol withdrawal because he was kicked out of a bar or the bars closed.

6. US Royal Master: The ultimate tire….engineered to meet the unexpected such as slamming on the brakes so you don’t run over a bunch of trick or treaters paying no damn attention to the freaking road!

Of course, this ad runs like the driver doesn’t even know that it’s Halloween when kids trick or treat that time of night. Then again, trick or treaters crossing the street don’t pose as much of a danger as the drunk Halloween partier on the way home.

7. Witchal: From the woods to relieve your pain.

Available at your local witches’ coven near you. Just follow the cloud of smoke in the forest. Except if you live in California or Texas. Then you might need to call 911.

8. When his body was wreaking havoc in Sleepy Hollow, the Headless Horsemen’s head stayed behind to party.

Now this just fucked up. In fact, I didn’t know the Headless Horseman had a head and wasn’t just terrorizing Icabod Crane. Seriously, do you really need an ad like this for M&Ms? If Mars wanted to advertise M&Ms for Halloween, they could just use Yellow and Red.

9. Nissen’s Old Home Bread has vitamins and minerals for extra nourishment.

Is it just me or does this party scene look utterly creepy? The kids on the left seem like they’re about to do something sinister. The girl seems like casting some black magic spell on the apples. And the little girl in the corner appears that she might want to take the stool from under her.

10. Sanka Coffee: the witches’ brew guaranteed to calm your dad’s anger issues.

The last Sanka ad I featured back in May depicted a rather abusive father. This one depicts a rather angry one. So is Sanka trying to say that their coffee clamps down on domestic violence? Because I think it’s a bit extreme to say so.

11. Scare claims fool no one, so trust Old Gold for a treat instead of a treatment!

Cigarette ads fool no one. All they do is trick people into a very bad health habit that leads to respiratory problems, cancer, heart disease, yellow skin, and early death. And if you think that’s scary, they also cause the same problems for people who have to deal with smokers. This is why so many public places have smoking bans.

12. This Halloween treat your kids to undergarments from the Minneapolis Knitting Works.

Now I know people had more kids than usual in those days. However, this fact doesn’t make an ad featuring a bunch of them in their underwear any less awkward. Also, I think the little girl in white might have murder on the mind. She seems to have no soul.

13. Wake up this Halloween morning with Cream of Wheat cereal.

Now this would make a decent ad but Rastah had to show up and ruin it. Go away, Rastah. You’re a stereotypical racist caricature known to offend African Americans. The world doesn’t need you. Also, that girl looks as if she has no eyes.

14. Trust Johnson & Johnson for all your pumpkin carving injuries.

Is it just me or is the mom seem to relish a bit too much in knife usage. “Now this is how I’ll stab the hell out your father next time I catch him with one of those drunk whores at the bar. He’ll learn his lesson.”

15. Raisins: The Halloween fruit treat that makes everybody happy.

Actually children don’t like raisins. Nor do adults in that matter. Seriously, whenever I bite into a raisin cookie, I usually have a bad taste of disappointment that it wasn’t chocolate chip. If I knew it was a raisin cookie, I wouldn’t have eaten it in the first place.

16. Have Halloween fun with Skinless Wieners by making your very own Weeny Witch.

Of course, Skinless Wieners alone incites enough shits and giggles, since it’s a product you really don’t want to Google. Not sure what to think about the Weeny Witch. That’s just ridiculous.

17. Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum comes with a bewitching mint leaf flavor.

And I have to admit that between these two guys, the one in the mask is far less terrifying. The other one looks as if he wants to strangle you and play with your insides. Also, what’s with the arrows? Don’t see the point.

18. With Jello, the Halloween party fun never seems to stop.

Of course, it doesn’t help for this woman that the nieghborhood’s kids are all brats. Yeah, good luck with that.

19. Staying young the vampire way by drinking a full glass of blood every day.

Of course, with a recommendation like that, a vampire might need to rob a blood bank once in awhile. Still, it’s not real blood. Just juice. But yeah, kind of creepy.

20. There are fewer tricks when you treat them with Sun Maid raisins.

Once again, most people don’t like raisins, especially children. Remember what I said about raisin cookies.

21. With such shades, send monstrous shivers down his spine and make his blood run hot and cold.

I’m sure you don’t want to attract guys like these at your Halloween party. Well, Frankenstein’s monster is all right. But the vampire might stick his fangs in you, which wouldn’t be good.

22. There’s nothing on Halloween like carving a pumpkin alongside a nice glass of beer.

Not sure if you should drink alcohol while carving a pumpkin for little Sue. Yeah, I know her dad is overseas but still. Sharp objects and alcohol don’t really mix.

23. Enjoy drinking with an 18th century ghost with Mount Vernon Whiskey.

Then again, if you’re sharing a toast with a 18th century ghost, you might what we call, “drunk.” The ghost might be an hallucination. Of course, it’s been said that George Washington actually drank whiskey for breakfast.

24. Of course, ghosts always love to haunt places that serve Schlitz beer.

Yeah, I can totally see why ghosts would love to haunt bars. I’m sure they can appear as much as they like while patrons who’ve seen them might wonder whether they had too much to drink. Why go to haunted houses when they can mess up with drunks?

25. With colors by Cutex, bewitch him by day and make him mad for you under the moon.

From what I've learned in horror movies, you really don't want to attract mummies and werewolves (save maybe Remus Lupin). Seriously, ladies, I know how this goes and you will not like it.

From what I’ve learned in horror movies, you really don’t want to attract mummies and werewolves (save Remus Lupin). Seriously, ladies, I know how this goes and you will not like it. I mean these women look like they’re totally asking for it.

26. Get your Ben Cooper Sesame Street costume for Halloween at Plaid Stallions.

For some reason, I don’t think Big Bird likes Ernie too much. Seems like Big Bird has a seething hatred for him that he wants to murder him in his sleep.

27. Break tradition this year with Runrico Rumkin.

And I thought that the pumpkin spice craze was new thing. Turns out I was wrong. Seriously, pumpkin flavored vodka? That’s ridiculous.

28. Nothing makes families happier on Halloween than good clothes from Kuppenheimer.

From Waylou: “Something about this whole scene makes me think of Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’ and the scene when the Joker finds out what the chemical plant accident turned him into.”

29. Munching on Milky Ways while trick or treating is always sweet stalkin.’

Yeah, sweet stalkin’ really? Is this because it’s a stalk munching? Or is it because the one dressed as a stalk is watching the object of their desires get in the shower. If the latter, there might be prison time.

30. Are your guests upset by the “Ghosts of the Past?”

Of course, if you were that woman, you’d freak out, too, if you looked in the mirror and saw a ghost with an outhouse. In fact, anyone would. Except maybe old people who might musingly think of their childhoods.

31. Put on a happy face this Halloween by getting Masquerade Makeup at Don Post Studios.

If you don’t understand why some people are afraid of clowns, you need to see this. Seriously, that clown is just simply terrifying if you ask me.

32. With Sylvania flash bulbs, it’s easier to flash a picture than ring a doorbell.

Boy, that kid’s costume is so creepy. I think the guy should at least not take a picture. Yeah, that might not be a good idea.

33. For grown up trick or treating, Dutch Masters cigars are no trick and all treat.

“Guess we should get these cigars for all the neighbors next year, assuming that all of them don’t die of lung cancer first.” Seriously, tobacco products kill 1 out of 3 users a year.

34. Morton Salt has the magic touch for Halloween.

Is it just me or does the Morton Salt girl seem to scare the freaking bejesus out of me in this? Seriously, that girl looks so creepy.

35. Gibbs style knit underwear gives only the best for your baby.

I don’t think having children flying brooms unsupervised is my idea of aviation safety, let alone in their underwear. Also, I don’t think kids typically hang out in their underwear anyway.

36. Kellogg’s Snack Pak is sweet Hallow eaten.’

Is it just me or does this little blond boy look really menacing with a mustache and goatee? He just looks incredibly evil with his grin for some reason. I don’t know.

37. Treat them to delicious Halloween candies straight from Brach’s.

Seems like this kid is desperate for candy that he’ll eat basically anything. Seriously, Brach’s makes candy corn which is made from food coloring, sugar, and wax. It’s disgusting. Also, I have a bad feeling about that kid.

38. For your Halloween cuisine, grease your pans with Crisco.

From PopSugar: “Look, mother! Doesn’t this huge bowl of trans fat look delicious?” I think the Crisco is used for greasing pans while baking. Not food. For God’s sake, lady, get a clue.

39. For this Halloween, go happy with Lucky Strike.

Is this just me or does this woman not seem altogether there? Yeah, I’m sure if her boyfriend cheats on her, she’ll probably slit his throat in the dead of night and chop it off into a bunch of tiny bits she’ll feed to the sharks.

40. This Halloween, be bright, be light and have a Pepsi.

Because nothing makes you look more fabulous in a skin tight leotard than a major contributor to obesity and Type II Diabetes. Yeah, because nothing helps you lose weight faster than a bunch of empty calories (sarcasm).

41. Remember that no Halloween mask scares of a man as much as “morning mouth.”

Actually I think waking up next to a pumpkin headed woman might freak out a man more than halitosis. Seriously, would you want to be married to the Headless Horseman? Neither would I.

42. Don’t let budget troubles scare you with Spun-ls lingerie.

From PopSugar: “Oh hey, I’m just using a sharp knife to carve a pumpkin in my underwear.” Seriously, who the hell carves pumpkins in their underwear? That’s crazy! I mean why?

43. Don’t let medical claims scare you from smoking Old Gold.

Well, at least the jack o’lantern knows that smoking is bad for you. But still, the medical claims about smoking being bad for your health, they’re pretty legit. Seriously, cigarettes kill people all the time.

44. Remember this Halloween sit back and relax with a Coke.

From Waylou: “Even though we should be focusing on the uplifting Coca Cola message here, the way the couple in the ad look suggests something “dirty” is going on while shooting this one.” Also, I don’t think she looks “relaxing” to me, given the guy’s creepy smile.

45. Remember, America, even the Great Pumpkin is voting for Nixon-Agnew.

Okay, I guess the Great Pumpkin cared more about supporting Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew than showing up for Linus in the pumpkin patch. Seriously, Great Pumpkin, can’t you just show up for Linus for once on Halloween? He really believes in you despite being constantly disappointed by your absence. Don’t break his heart.

46. Make Ted Nugent a part of your Halloween tradition this year.

God, are those kids dressed up as Ted Nugent freak or what? And that’s when he was considerably less scary than he is now. Seriously, the guy’s on Fox News and is a total gun nut. Really don’t want to go to any of his concerts.

47. Of course, pull off the neatest trick or treat this year with Microsheen shoe polish.

Hey, who knew that sexy Halloween costumes were a new thing? Seriously, this lady puts today’s slutty witch to shame. Then again, I may be wrong.

48. When children see a house that has Brach’s, they will always ring the doorbell.

Actually, children hate Brach’s Candy. This is particularly because they sell candy corn, you know inedible Halloween sugar wax. Also the kid in the cat costume gives me the creeps.

49. Treat your family to a Halloween vegetable beef loaf this year. They’ll love it.

Okay, this looks really disgusting. You know, like the kind of stuff you dog vomits after being freaked out by a ghost. Yeah that.

50. Buy your trick or treat candy with Brach’s.

And by “candy” we don’t mean a sexy witch on a broom. She’s just posing on this ad to appeal to a male demographic. If you want candy like her, go to a strip club.

51. Crest is here to remind you that tonight’s treats can turn into tomorrow’s tricks.

And this little witch is currently plotting to put her parents into a hot brick oven. Yes, she’s about as evil incarnate as they come.

52. No elegant ghost would settle for less than Dan River sheets.

Basically this company is saying: “Go ahead, use our product for your Halloween ghost costumes. We don’t care if you ruin it.” Something tells me this company was desperate for buyers that year.

53. Take Halloween flash shots and enter into the General Electric picture contest.

Seems that kid really has other things on his mind than just taking pictures. Then again, to him it’s an alternative to murder.

54. Nothing makes better syrup for Halloween breakfast for the Dionne quintuplets than Karo.

Of course, after these kids are done with their waffles, they plan to kill their parents, put them through a wood chipper, and throw their remains in the river. Of course, the real Dionne quints were exploited by their publicity seeking parents by the way.

55. You’re never sticking your neck out with a Litronix calculator.

You’d almost think with all the vampire references here, this one was catering to Count von Count. Of course, the Count should’ve been used in this ad anyway. But the vampire seems to show no interest in the blond just the same.

56. “Show me a filter cigarette that delivers taste and I’ll eat my hat.”

Go ahead. Eating your hat would be much better for your health than smoking a Lucky Strike or any cigarette for that matter. At least eating a hat won’t increase your child’s chances of suffering an early death from lung cancer.

57. Get all the jack o’lanterns looking at you with Hanes hoisery.

For some reason, jack o’lanterns can be such perverts. One is even looking up that woman’s skirt. Yeah, kind of disturbing if you think about it.

58. Karo is a syrup enjoyed by the Dionne Quintuplets on Halloween night.

These were real girls by the way. But by how they’re drawn, I wouldn’t trust them with a sharp carving knife if I were their parents. I’d be afraid of them killing me in my sleep.

59. Trick or treat with Roxbury candies, the bargain choice.

I’ll keep that in mind, clown of my nightmares. Seriously, that clown looks as though he wants you to buy these candies so he can murder trick or treaters during the night.

60. Treat your trick or treaters to a box from the Post Treat Pak.

Is it just me, or is this little Frankenstein even creepier without the mask. Yeah, I’m sure a small box of cereal will keep this boy from murdering your cat or setting your house on fire. Not.

61. Cracker Jack makes is the perfect trick that makes the perfect treat anytime.

You mean the carmelized popcorn that contains a lousy sticker prize in the box. Yeah, I’m sure (sarcasm). Still, if it keeps the demonic children away the rest of the night, then I have no complaints.

62. Actors’ faces are extra sensitive to shaving cream. That’s why Boris Karloff uses Williams.

Of course, remember don't tell Boris Karloff that he looks like Boris Karloff when he's in Jonathan Brewster mode. Of course, he did originate the role of Jonathan Brewster on Broadway but he wasn't available for the movie. So Canadian Raymond Massey was cast in his role instead.

Of course, remember don’t tell Boris Karloff that he looks like Boris Karloff when he’s in Jonathan Brewster mode (his character in Arsenic and Old Lace hated being compared to Karloff so much that he killed people over it). Of course, he did originate the role of Jonathan Brewster on Broadway but he wasn’t available for the movie. So Canadian Raymond Massey was cast in his role instead.

63. Elvira recommends to cut through paper based CASE products with LBMS.

Of course, sex sells as we know in advertising. Even when it comes to unsexy things like computer and office products. Still, I think Elvira would’ve made a less ridiculous ad if she appeared one featuring a chainsaw.

64. Olin batteries are great for trick or treaters’ flashlights.

However, they also allow trick or treaters’ costumes to appear more visible at night. Sometimes scaring the hell out of the neighbors.

65. Can’t get enough of peanuts? Have a Pay Day.

And it looks like this guy will probably have to make a run for the store after he’s done with this trick or treater. He might also need to get some outdoor cleaning supplies and air freshener as well.

66. Refresh yourself this Halloween with the great taste of Coca Cola.

I don’t know about you, but I’m wondering whether the little blond boy might be a spawn of Satan. I mean look at him. Never mind that he’s trying to get a jack o’lantern to drink pop.

67. This Halloween grab a Snickers and you can win $200,000 in their Be Home for Herman contest.

Of course, Herman Munster isn’t himself when he’s hungry. Believe me, I saw The Munster’s Thanksgiving episode when he tried to go on a diet. And he basically broke into a neighbor’s house eating everything.

68. Make Budweiser the beer for your Halloween party this year.

From PopSugar: “When was the last time you saw a modern ad with a woman eating cheese and drinking beer? This ad says to me: hey, it’s OK to enjoy the finer and fattier things in life every once in a while!”

69. When you know your beer this Halloween, it’s bound to be Bud.

From PopSugar: “When you drink Bud all night, you won’t even need a mask to have a creepy drunk face!” Exactly. After all, your drunk face is probably much scarier. Or will be when it becomes a hangover face.

70. Reddi Whip: The perfect partner in the perfect pumpkin pie.

From PopSugar: “Whipped cream: the perfect way to have your kids bouncing off the walls and sticking their heads in pumpkins.” Wonder how that kid’s going to get his head out of this one. Yeah, I think he might need to wait. Mummy’s baking and must not be disturbed.

The Dark Scary World of Vintage Halloween Costumes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 16, 2015

During my first Halloween on WordPress in 2013, I did a couple posts on inappropriate Halloween costumes (one for everyone and another one for children). This October I did a post on DIY Halloween costumes and runway fashions that are more appropriate for Halloween in my opinion. This time I’m going with vintage Halloween costumes or what kind of outfits your grandparents wore while they were trick or treating. Now Halloween isn’t a new holiday by any means. I mean it’s one that’s blended with customs pertaining to Celtic pagan and medieval Christian rituals. And people have been dressing up in costumes for parties and trick or treating for ages. Still, when you look at some of these old vintage photos, you get the impression of how bizarre and creepy many of these costumes were. I don’t know if it’s the black and white photography or how costumes were made back then. But the effect is pretty scary and terrifying. Other costumes are just plain weird and some aren’t nearly as wholesome as you’d expect at the time. So without further adieu, here are an assortment of vintage Halloween costumes that might scare the bejesus out of you that you might find a contemporary slasher horror movie less terrifying.

In the olden days, it was suggest that you beware of ghosts within.

On second thought, I’ll take my chances with the ghosts. The rabbit in this picture is way more terrifying. Reminds me of those old scary Easter Bunnies I posted about.

2. Looks like this devil spawn wants some more cake.

Yes, I know that’s really a harmless little kid in a devil costume. But the fearsome makeup just makes me squirm.

3. When these kids show up at your doorstep for trick or treat, you better give them candy or else.

Let’s just say that five candy bars are a small price to pay to keep them from haunting your dreams. Not so scared of the witch as I am of the clowns and the ones with skull masks.

4. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the Fly from the 19th century.

Now this is a costume from 1865. Or so I think. Still, it’s a bit too realistic for my taste. Well, except that he’s not wearing a mask.

5. This little ghost just wants some candy.

So give it out now or it will haunt your door step forever. And unlike what you see in Casper, this ghost does not look friendly at all.

6. It’s said that rabbits and hedgehogs had to be stylish gentlemen back then.

Now the suits are quite stylish. But the heads are quite freaky. Guess they had furries, too, back in the day.

7. You better not diss this witch.

You really don’t want to mess with Broomhilda. Yes, she not be pleasant. But you don’t want her to turn you into a newt. Or worse. So fork over the Crunch bar now.

8. Of course, not every dressed up as monsters, supernatural entities, clowns, or animals for Halloween. This person dressed up as a little girl with pigtails.

Now I know this isn’t a kid by any means. However, the toys and smile don’t make her less terrifying. Yeah, certainly scares the hell out of me.

9. Though women are said to be afraid of spiders, it’s not always the case.

You see, the sexy costume trend isn’t as recent as you think. Still, despite this image not being at least PG, spiderwebs are an appropriate Halloween motif.

10. Of course, Disney characters were very popular during your grandparents’ childhoods. And people did dress as them for Halloween, too.

Okay, I may not be a fan of Mickey and Minnie (nor Disney cartoons in general). But these two really give me the impression that the old Disneyland was way terrifying than I imagined.

11. Behold, the original Michelin Tire Man.

And he’s smoking a cigar, lovely. Now Michelin was founded in 1889 and the Michelin Man has been around since 1898. So it’s probably possible that such Michelin Man costume existed at the time.

12. I’d watch it with the skeleton if I were that clown.

Yeah, the skeleton looks pretty terrifying and seems to have something in his hand. Then again, the clown looks pretty freaky, too.

13. Of course, gnomes were a popular costume choice as well. And I’m sure as hell that they weren’t scary either.

I was wrong. These gnomes are terrifying. Why can’t they just look like chubby fat guys with Santa Claus beards? Seriously, it’s far less terrifying.

14. Like today, sometimes whole families would have their own costume theme.

And I suppose everyone here is dressed like ghosts in order to scar the neighbors. Then again, they were probably very easy to make. But they’re just as scary.

15. Of course, before there were cars, you couldn’t possibly go trick or treating without your horse. Well, if you had one.

And since they’re going as skeletons, the horses should follow suit as well. Still, I think it would be easier for the horses if one of them just went as the Headless Horseman.

16. Beware of the little devil in the babushka.

I would also be careful around the creepy clown, too. Not sure about the other kid in a mask.

17. When it comes to this couple, the female is deadlier than the male.

And I also get the impression that they went Dutch that year. Man went for the high class Dutch. Woman decided to be a Dutch homicidal housewife.

18. Of course, Halloween parties were quite popular. Hope none were incredibly horrifying.

On second thought, I’m kind of relieved that I wasn’t around to attend this party. This seems to be a rather terrifying photo op indeed. I guess the competition in the scary costume contest is brutal.

19. Group costumes were also popular as well. This one is of a bearkeeper, bear, and hunter.

Now we wouldn’t have a group costume like that today, just because we don’t chain up bears anymore. Still, the bear is quite terrifying and so is the kid.

20. I’d watch my step if I were that cat.

If it knows what evil that clown is capable of, it would know to keep away. Seriously, that clown gives the Joker a run for his money.

21. Costume Theme: Where the Wild Things Are as a horror movie.

Okay, these costumes are quite horrifying to say the least. Wouldn’t want to take a walk in that forest if you ask me.

22. Don’t want to know what this person has up their sleeve.

Let’s hope that this person doesn’t wear this costume when kids come over for trick or treating. Wait a minute, it was probably made just for the occasion.

23. Halloween parades were said to be quite popular and it was no exception in the olden days.

Strangely, the kid going as Peter Pan is the least terrifying thing in this picture. And he’s known for creeping into houses and kidnapping children. Yeah, I don’t see any appeal of that story.

24. For Halloween, this woman is going as a Sopwith Camel.

The Sopwith Camel was a British fighter plane during WWI. Don’t see any reason why it should be made into a sexy costume. That’s just crazy.

25. Say cheese, and don’t mind the black shadowy figure behind you.

After this picture was taken, the children in the foreground were never seen again. This was no surprise as you see how the Grim Reaper decided to pose with them for Halloween.

26. Guess C-3PO has seen better days.

Yeah, I know it’s supposed to be an alien and the picture was taken before Star Wars. But still, the person really looks like a ragged C-3PO.

27. Back in the day, nothing won a costume contest than dressing up as a pig’s insides.

This was for a fancy dress ball in London, which took place in April. But it would’ve been better if he wore it on Halloween. He even designed it himself. What a sick and demented man.

28. Of course, a spider web dress was seen as the height of 1920s Halloween fashion.

This is the 1920s silent film actress, Louise Brooks. She’s best known for playing Lulu in the 1929 Pandora’s Box. Her best known moves were heavily censored. She didn’t last in movies for long.

29. Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?

Somehow, I don’t feel that this dog is doomed for a bad end. I’m sure the wolf is bound to make it his dinner. Just have a feeling.

30. “For Christ’s sake, who are you calling chicken?”

Now that’s the most realistic rooster costume I’ve ever seen. Guess this was for a costume contest. Still, looks like someone you don’t want to mess with.

31. Of course, witches are known to show great hospitality to trick or treaters.

The fact some trick or treaters are never seen again has nothing to do with it. After all, why would an old lady like that would want to prey on children? You think she might put them in a cauldron or oven.

32. It’s said that some skeleton ladies were known to be quite stylish back in the turn of the century.

Of course, they intended to make a grand entrance to the Halloween party. Didn’t mean to terrify anyone in the process.

33. Let’s hope these adventurers don’t mind the dancing skeleton in the background.

I don’t know about you but that skeleton is very terrifying to say the least. Maybe it’s the photography but I’m not sure.

34. Seems like she has found herself between a goat man and a satyr.

Let’s just say, I’m not sure which guy is more terrifying. Also, that’s a very skimpy and unflattering satyr costume if you ask me.

35. When making Halloween costumes, sometimes you have to go with what you got.

Guess these two are either space aliens or inspectors at some nuclear power plant. Not sure which. Probably the former.

36. Sometimes wearing a mask can change your whole personality.

Strange that the least scary kid in this is the one with devil horns. The girl in the donkey head is particularly terrifying to say the least. The ones in masks aren’t much better.

37. Sometimes sibling Halloween pictures are adorable, especially when the kids are young. Not sure about this one.

Okay, seems like these two kids have succeeded in haunting my dreams. Seriously, what was it about the creepy masks?

38. Yes, a masked jester can be quite terrifying to say the least. Best keep the mask off.

On second thought, he might want to keep the mask on since he’s pretty terrifying without it. What was I thinking?

39. “Hello, we want to play with you.”

I know the kids are real little in this. But still, their costumes are simply terrifying beyond all reason. Maybe it’s the masks. Maybe not.

40. May I present to you, Castle Tower Man.

Wonder if this was a rejected character from Beauty and the Beast. Sure seems like it. Then again, it’s a pretty crazy costume if you ask me.

41. Of course, you should know better than to cross the pig butcher.

Looks like this porker is through with bringing the bacon at the expense of his fellow swine. What I wonder is why this pig thought being a butcher was a good career path in the first place.

42. Is this kid supposed to be a hobo clown? Wait, I may not want to know.

Now that’s pretty terrifying to say the least. Makes me want to go pale and run away in fear.

43. “All hail the powerful Pumpkin king.”

I’m sure what they’re doing here is harmless and nothing to be afraid of. Honestly, I’m sure it’s not some type of evil spirit worship. Then again, you might want to run.

44. This clown really wants you to give him candy.

And no, you really don’t want to see him in the moonlight. As Lon Chaney says, “A clown is never funny in the moonlight.” He had a point.

45. Hey, look, a scarecrow family. Sure they’re just as rustic as all the scarecrows you see in fields.

Actually I was wrong. These scarecrows can really scare crows and other creatures. Hell, they can scare the hell out of people like me.

46. Now she’s just a little girl in the pumpkin patch. Hope there’s nothing scary to see here.

Okay, this little girl is creepy as hell. I mean just look at her face. Really something that gives people nightmares.

47. Didn’t know that the Prince of Darkness had his own office in Hell.

Then again, it seems likely that Satan is a top executive in some major hedge fund company on Wall Street. Not sure why. Then again, the place is filled with scum and villainy that never get prosecuted or put in jail.

48. Of course, in the olden days, we have to be aware that some people dressed up as racist caricatures.

Yes, many of these costumes are terrifying. But if you’re black and/or Native American, only the clown and witch won’t offend you. Also, I think the Indian princess might work for the Washington Redskins or Cleveland Indians.

49. Seems like we have a dangerous psycho killing horror villain on the loose.

Yes, he does kind of remind me of some slasher horror movie villain for some reason. Hope he just says out of my town. Guess there might be people in his neighborhood who won’t see the light of day when he’s through with them.

50. I see the skeleton preferred to come in a nightgown this time.

Talk about creepy as hell. Still, I’m sure the third one in this picture is bound to offend some people of color. Not sure what the other two women are, not that I want to know.

51. Nothing is more creepy on Halloween than seeing a little kid with a head like this.

Now that costume is bound to win the Scariest Costume Award at the Halloween kiddie party. Of course, it’s sure to scare the living shit out of everyone. I’m sure it this child will make playmates wet their pants or beds.

52. Sometimes a tune won’t let the old goat down.

Don’t usually think goats as scary. But this one looks horrifying enough to haunt my dreams. And no, I really don’t want to hear any tunes from that horn.

53. Remember that some ghouls might walk the street in quite stylish attire.

For some reason, this guy reminds me of Jim Carrey’s character from The Mask. Well, if he gained a few pounds anyway. Also bears some resemblance to a character from Ghostbusters.

54. Here we have a clown with a couple of dolls. Hope nothing goes wrong with that.

Is it just me or are these people seem like they can kill you in their sleep in the middle of the night? Just a thought.

55. Always remember to put on your best face this Halloween season.

Now I’ve seen people in sexy and scantily clad costumes before. But this is just ridiculous and terrifying at the same time. Seriously, this is something you’d see on a very bad acid trip.

56. For some reason, giant eyes scare me. Not sure why.

Okay, I can see why this time. Yeah, eye heads really can be terrifying. This is especially in black and white photography.

57. Oh, look, the astronaut kid wants you to hold his jack o’lantern.

On second thought, thanks but no thanks. Yeah, I know this isn’t supposed to be a scary costume. But the kid creeps me out just the same.

58. Don’t make the Devil get his pronged fork out. I’m just saying.

Now I know devil is a popular costume choice. But it seems that a lot of these vintage devils can sure scare the hell out of you.

59. Now this witch may fly with a broom but her preferred ground transport is bicycle.

Yeah, really don’t want to see her riding around during the night. Still, at least she can’t kidnap children with it. If she wanted to, she should’ve bought a windowless van.

60. This Halloween, this group decided to go as a Texas couple with two oil derricks.

Is it just me or do I find the idea of oil derrick costumes a bit too strange? Then again, it must be the arms sticking out of the derricks that’s disturbing.

61. Now I’m sure this circus clown is up to no good.

After all, what circus clown doesn’t have the face of Rip Taylor? Like all of them.

62. Sure this bug can fly but he would rather ride his bike in the countryside.

Now this would be the beginning of a terrific horror movie. I’m sure this guy would be the one who kills most of the characters.

63. Sure a bunny can be a popular but not scary costume for kids this Halloween.

On second thought, I was wrong. In fact, those rabbit ears look suspiciously like devil horns. Looks like this is a job for the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. But since you must likely don’t have it, run away. Run away!

64. Clowns are also popular kid costumes as well. Little kids always look so cute in ruffles and a pointy clown hat.

Sorry, but I think your granma’s creepy old dolls have just come back to life. You might want to evacuate the premises for your own good. Yeah, you’ll have nightmares but nothing you can do about that.

65. “Okay, folks, seems like the gang’s all here.”

“Now let us all just take one picture of ourselves before we go out sucking the souls out of people. We want to remember this occasion, don’t we?”

66. Hey, did I just see a ghost?

Yeah, sometimes the heavy urban pollution can make some people look scarier than they appear. The kid in a ghost costume is one of them.

67. Of course, when it comes to scaring the crap out of people, always start them while they’re young.

From Huffington Post: “What if we told you this wasn’t a costume? And that this baby is in your house? And you’re in a Spanish horror film?”

68. Say hello to the pumpkinhead girl and her friend.

Actually I really don’t. Now I don’t find jack o’lanterns particularly scary. But this one is utterly terrifying for some reason.

69. A Japanese scarecrow? Never seen that before.

Man, didn’t know that could actually scare crows, critters, and people. Certainly don’t want to see that wandering the streets at night.

70. Didn’t know that anteaters could be so romantic.

Okay, this picture sure won’t make me look at anteaters the same way again. Are you sure these guys eat ants? Because these two are certainly bound to scare me to death.

71. Of course, fairies are a popular Halloween costume that’s not scary. At least I hope so.

Now I really don’t want to mess with these two. Yeah, the masks really makes them seem quite menacing and real terrors in their own right.

72. “I told you we should’ve done Alice in Wonderland this year.”

Now that gnome is as creepy as hell. The women dressed as mushrooms is just freaky. Sure this wasn’t a hallucinogenic drug trip? Because it sure looks like it.

73. Seems like this little pumpkin is excited to go trick or treating.

Now this is freaky if you ask me and sure to scare the hell out of me. Then again, this might be just the black and white photography here.

74. Of course, sometimes it pays to be original in regards to Halloween costumes.

Now this woman is supposed to be lettuce. Yes, lettuce. However, she more or less looks like you’d expect to marry the Jolly Green Giant. Then again, I’m not sure if he’d approve of that outfit.

75. “Let’s be phones for Halloween by taking a couple old ones and putting it on our heads.”

Don’t pictures like these make you glad that we have cell phones today. Because these look quite freaky. Yeah, that can’t be good.

76. Didn’t know a long shawl can make a great ghost costume.

Seems quite simple and scary but it works. Let’s hope she can see through it though. And that she doesn’t spill anything.

77. Looks like this boy’s parents are going out for a party.

And I’m sure this photo will make him always remember what to tell his therapist some years down the line. Yeah, that kid is certainly screwed up for life.

78. Guess all horror movie villains always have to start small.

And I’m sure this little boy will grow up killing and scaring a lot of teenagers some day. Yeah, just you wait until he becomes a holy terror.

79. “Come along here, little children. Come get some candy. I won’t bite.”

Okay, kids, you might want to stay the hell away from this person. You don't want to be put in a brew, oven, fireplace, or worse.

Okay, kids, you might want to stay the hell away from this person. You don’t want to be put in a brew, oven, fireplace, windowless van, or worse.

80. These people prefer to haunt more high class Halloween parties.

Now the guy certainly has a real vibe I’d identify with the Joker. However, I think the woman is more likely to scare the living hell out of me. Must be the menacing mask.

Halloween Costumes Straight from the Runway

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 14, 2015

I’m not a big fan of the fashion industry. For me, it revolves around designers selling overpriced clothes made from sweatshop workers in South Asia so they can design clothes that nobody would want to be caught dead in. I mean seriously, who the hell is going to wear the stuff you see on the runway during Fashion Week. Seriously, what these models wear on the runway is simply ridiculous that you’d have to be crazy to wear such clothes on the street. Now I understand the need for designers to express themselves but c’mon, the whole point of fashion is to design clothes for people to wear. The stuff you see on the runway nowadays just makes the fashion industry a joke. The designer label clothes cost too much and are too impractical for normal people to wear. And don’t even get me started on body image and women. Besides, when it comes to buying clothes, I really don’t give a shit about the designer or brand. Designer labels have no relevance on my life. I just care whether it comes cheap and whether it’ll last me a long time. And I can care less whether any designer brand items I own are knockoffs or not. Not to mention, I’ve known quite well that higher prices don’t mean better quality products. Just look at a Consumer Reports manual on cars. Last year, I had this idea of using runway fashions as Halloween costumes but for various undisclosed reasons, I didn’t go through with it. However, this year things are different since I already did a post on costumes and my Halloween posts haven’t done as good as I thought, save the one on pumpkin dioramas. That one did better than I expected. Still, we can spend this October having a little fun with high fashion by seeing them as inspirations for Halloween costumes. Here are some Halloween worthy runway fashions you might not want to miss. Costume names will be subject to my observations.

The feline dominatrix from the anime version of Cats

Of course, she wasn’t allowed to bring her cat o’ nine tails and handcuffs with her. Yeah, runway policy is strict about these things.

2. The Mad Hatter on Casual Friday

Now the top is fine and something I can actually wear. Not sure about the bottom though. But still, looks like something you can picture the Mad Hatter wearing on his day off.

3. Vibrator/Video Game Console

Yeah, having an outfit resembling male genitalia won’t get my mind out of the gutter on this one. Seriously, I think whoever designed this must have a substance abuse problem.

4. Escaped inmate from a mental hospital

Let’s just say the straitjacket is really not a good sign about her personality. Seriously, she’s likely to be dangerously insane as far as we know.

5. Pencil

Sure hate to know the effectiveness of that eraser. Still, she looks more like a No. 2 from the waist down.

6. Renaissance Painting

Wonder what artist she’s wearing. You’d think she’d go with the easy choices like Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, or Donatello. I mean those guys have Ninja Turtles named after them.

7. Fancy feather duster

For only dusting the finest shelves and china thank you very much. Still, not sure if I like this costume set up.

8. Emojis

Of course, she has a face for every look. But if you want to know how she really feels, just check her social media.

9. Lion

For some reason, this doesn’t remind me of the ferocious king of the savannah. Also, I’m sure lions aren’t black. But I see you have to go with what you have.

10. Pink, fluffy cloud

Now this looks exactly as I see it. Guess this outfit was video game inspired, perhaps in the Nintendo fashion.

11. Clothes Frankenstein

Because it looks like she stitched that skirt up from a bunch of pieces in the dumpster. Not sure about the jacket.

12. Rapunzel

Apparently, Rapunzel liked to experiment with her ridiculously long hair. Well, at least before her prince wanted her to let down her hair.

13. Snakes having sex

If you want to know how snakes have sex, this is only a mild representation. But if you see any photos, it’s exactly a bunch of males getting on top of each other in order to mate with a female.

14. WWE character reject

Apparently this guy was too outrageous for professional studio wrestling. Then again, studio wrestling’s fake as they say.

15. Knight of Ni in the rain

Seems like he’ll wait for a shrubbery for as long as it takes. Oh, I forgot they don’t like the word “it.” Still, didn’t know they had plastic ponchos in the Middle Ages.

16. Brooklyn lady knight

Too bad the Brooklyn Nets no longer have the knight. Because I think she would’ve made a great companion mascot for him.

17. The “one size fits all shirt”

You know those shirt you might see at a store that stretch a lot? This is what her outfit reminds me of for some reason.

18. Major Tom from David Bowie’s “Space Oddity”

If they made music videos in the 1970s like they do now, I can imagine someone in the “Space Oddity” one wearing an outfit like this. I mean that looks very much Ziggy Stardust era if you ask me.

19. Grumpy Sun

Just because she’s the sun doesn’t mean she’s all rainbows and sunshine. Also what the hell did she do to her lips?

20. Mesoamerican Christmas tree

So they didn’t celebrate Christmas in Pre-Columbian Mesoamerica. But c’mon, if they did, I’m sure you’d see trees like this in their paintings.

21. Modestly dressed Lady Gaga

Then again, almost any of these costumes can be of Lady Gaga in one variation or another. Of course, seeing Lady Gaga in this makes her look normal in comparison to the other stuff she’s worn.

22. Justin Bieber

Just because. Seriously, Bieber did model underwear for Calvin Klein. And he’s an obnoxious brat.

23. Ancient Chinese road worker

For one, because his outfit has Chinese symbols and is in that style. Second, because it’s bright yellow and orange kind akin to what PennDOT workers wear.

24. African insect goddess

Because I’m not sure what else this reminds me of. Besides, deities can look like just about anything.

25. Frog lady

Hmm..using Kermit for a top. Now as a muppet fan, that ain’t right. Seriously, why?

26. Rainbow

Seems like her outfit doesn’t have the first 3 colors in sequence. Shouldn’t they be red, orange, and yellow?

27. 1980s sci-fi villain

Yeah, kind of reminds me of that. Then again, he might also pass for a 1980s sci fi villain as well.

Yeah, kind of reminds me of that. I mean 1980s sci fi outfits tend to be incredibly ridiculous for some reason. Don’t ask me.

28. Accordion pants

Of course, his pants just look like you can use them in an accordion. They also make him look like an idiot.

29. Castaway

Now I don’t mean Tom Hanks’s character from a movie when he’s stranded on the deserted island. I mean someone actually stranded on a deserted island. Then again, I’m not sure about the striped pants.

30. Shower curtain balloon

If that were white, I’d swear she’d be a runway version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Still, you can tell she totally doesn’t want to wear the thing.

31. High couture Marge Simpson

Basically this is what Marge Simpson would look like if she changed her style and dyed her hair. Yeah, not much different.

32. Futuristic bunny rabbit

Because the head looks just like a bunny head. Not sure about the hand things though. Doesn’t make any sense.

33. High couture circus clown

Because she needs to make the audience laugh while in style. Yes, clowns care about fashion, too, you know.

34. Chic Aztec god

Because this is what the guy’s outfit reminds me of, especially around the mouth. Seems like he’s hungry for some human sacrifice.

35. NFL linebacker at a golf course

Odd that he doesn’t have his clubs with him. Then again, I’m sure NFL linebackers don’t dress this way on the golf course. I just think it’s funny.

36. Goat lady

Or as my dad calls it, “a representation of Stevie Nicks.” Of course, she does sound like a goat.

37. Knit freak with a death wish

From what his shirt says, this guy must have major issues. Then again, the outfit is pretty ridiculous.

38. Alaskan dog sledder

Please don’t be a piece of cultural appropriation. Because it sure looks like it from the animal skins. Then again, he could just as well be Norwegian polar explorer Roald Admundsen, who was the first guy to reach the South Pole and sail the Northwest Passage.

39. Slasher horror movie villain on a date

What’s surprising to me is how movie psycho killers seem to have horrible fashion sense. But don’t tell him that.

40. All-seeing eye

Now this is freaky like from some sci-fi movie. But I assure it would make a great Halloween costume.

41. Confetti

Just a guy with tape all over him. But it looks like confetti to me. Yes, I don’t get why this was at a fashion show.

42. Crazy cat man

You heard of the crazy cat lady right? Well, I think this guy makes her look normal.

43. Tidal wave

Wouldn’t want to surf on that. Can’t even see that person’s face. Still, wonder how she could move around in that.

44. Ancient warrior from Las Vegas

My apologies to any Native Americans living in Las Vegas because I don’t mean to insult your native culture. But still, the guy is wearing a hat you’d see on a Vegas showgirl and he’s certainly in warrior apparel. Just can’t ignore that.

45. Houndsooth

Yes, this is the pattern you wear for business apparel. And she has it all over her. Kind of overdoing it if you ask me.

46. Migrant farm worker

Now this looks pretty bad here and it’s pretty insulting to the farm workers who help feed our country for God’s sake. Then again, this pretty much reflects what Donald Trump thinks about Mexicans. Best to loose the trash bag dress.

47. Designer handbag

Well, at least she went with a more low key approach. Still, that hat is hideous.

48. Mexican at a disco

C’mon, she’s wearing a sombrero and a shiny outfit. What else could you expect?

49. Chest of drawers

Now this actually looks doable compared to the others. Ridiculous but doable. Still, reminds me of furniture.

50. Radiohead

I mean she has a bunch of speakers on her head. So the name fits. Yes, it’s very ridiculous but it’s funny.

51. Blond Bigfoot

Almost considered calling it, “Blond Chewbacca” but I didn’t want to insult any Star Wars fans. Nor did I want to offend Dr. Seuss fans either. But Sasquatch hunters are fair game.

52. Breakfast

Now this one speaks for itself. Her dress has a couple of eggs over easy and her hair is done like bacon strips.

53. Newest member of Daft Punk

Yeah, I’m sure I know why she’s in the group. And I don’t think it’s because of her musical talent either.

54. Hardcore Raver

Now that’s not a very appropriate trick or treating costume. Guess you might want to aim for modesty and go as Slave Leia.

55. Champion polo player from the dead

Guess she shows us that polo was a lady’s game in the 18th century. How she was able to play in that dress, I don’t have the slightest idea.

56. Pineapple head

Now that definitely looks like a pineapple head. Still, her outfit would’ve been totally fine without it.

57. Frankenstein’s wife

Guess they’re referring to Dr. Frankenstein’s wife here. The monster’s mate ‘s costume is probably much cooler. I mean have you ever seen Bride of Frankenstein?

58. Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games

Or Effie Trinket if she appeared in a Dr. Seuss story. Then again, a lot of these outfits could be in Effie’s wardrobe.

59. Killer Queen

“She’s a Killer Queen/Gunpowder, gelatine/Dynamite with a laser beam/Guaranteed to blow your mind/Anytime…”

60. Flock of doves

Wonder how many dead doves it took to make this dress? More than I want to know, I guess.

61. Anaconda

Yeah, she kind of does look like she’s wearing a skimpy snakeskin outfit. Yes, it’s pretty ridiculous and certain to earn the ire of PETA.

62. Steering wheel

Seems like someone’s idea for a tribute to auto safety. Still, one steering wheel would’ve done fine.

63. Joker bride

Because even the most evil Batman villain shouldn’t have to die alone. Yeah, I know he’s shipped with Harley Quinn. But that’s beside the point.

64. In the spotlight

Now that’s an original idea. Wonder how she could move around with having lights over her. Man, this outfit is ridiculous.

65. Sexy harlequin

When it comes to clowns, I really don’t want stuff like this. Clowns were never meant to be sexy by all means.

66. Sexy Tinker Toys

Tinker Toys at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show? Now that’s just wrong. Just wrong. Really they’re kids toys and were never meant to be sexy. My childhood is ruined.

67. Tree

Well, at least she looks more like a tree than the Stanford University mascots. But still wouldn’t be surprised if bird happened to build a nest on her.

68. Zipper

Now that’s a very big zipper. I wonder whether he’d be able to breath if I zip his outfit all the way up.

69. Space Age Bride

Let’s just say if this is a chic wedding look in the 22nd century, God help my descendants. It’s ridiculous in my opinion.

70. Hot tiger

I think this would’ve been better if she was wearing an actual tiger costume. And not a sexed up one at that.

71. Roulette wheel

Of course, this costume is oddly appropriate for a Halloween in Las Vegas. And it doesn’t hurt that it’s a sexy costume to boot.

72. Sexy astronaut

Sorry, lady, but astronaut suits don't work that way. I mean there's a really good reason why such outfits aren't sexy at all. Think about it.

Sorry, lady, but astronaut suits don’t work that way. I mean there’s a really good reason why such outfits aren’t sexy at all. And they don’t have a lot bling on them either. Think about it.

73. Tweety Bird

And you thought Tweety Bird was an insult to canaries. Then again despite the lisp, he’s actually quite funny and clever. Still, this costume is utterly ridiculous beyond the pale.

74. Punk Showgirl

Wonder which Las Vegas casino has showgirls like that. Not sure where that would be. But yeah, really ridiculous if you get my drift.

75. TV test screen

Didn’t know they had a swimsuit like this. Could’ve used it in a post this summer. But yeah, brings me memories from the 1990s.

76. Gold Man

Because he’s all covered in gold. Duh. However, he still needs to wear clothes though. Don’t want to see his gold member.

77. Sea monster

Not sure what that’s really supposed to be specifically. But I know it has absolutely no place in a fashion show. Not sure about Halloween.

78. Hawaiian businessman

Because you can’t go to a board meeting in Honolulu without a grass hula skirt. It’s just the custom there. Don’t ask me.

79. Pink powderpuff

That or possibly Lady Gaga’s wedding cake or bathrobe. Take your pick. But I certainly can’t see this woman’s arms at all.

80. Ziggy Stardust

This might be on purpose but still, looks almost exactly like 1970s David Bowie with boobs. Not sure what to think about that.

Halloween Party Tricks or Treats (But Mostly Treats, Sort of) (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 12, 2015

Last year, I compiled my post for Halloween treats on my mother’s recommendation that I do a post on disgusting Halloween food. It was supposed to be a one time thing but it got a lot of views. However, I was soon bored out of my mind in mid-November that I decided to do a treat post on Thanksgiving as well. And it sort of became a thing for the major holidays plus the Super Bowl. Now since Halloween is coming once more,I was sort of on the fence this year on doing another one since I’ve already done a treat post before. However, since I find that people still enjoy last year’s post on Halloween treats, I decided to do another due to popular demand. Besides, I’ve done second edition posts for vintage Valentines for Valentines Day and peep dioramas for Easter. And I know my readers like that. Not to mention, Halloween is one of my Big Four holidays along with Christmas, Valentines Day, and Easter so the more Halloween blog posts the better. Also, I started selling ad space for sponsors since May and my recent Halloween posts haven’t done as well as I thought they would at this time. So for those who love Halloween, you might be happy to know that I’ve managed to find plenty of disgusting treats for your parties and platters. So without further adieu, help yourself to some more Halloween treats at your disposal.

A spiderweb cake is guaranteed to make a devilish dessert.

Now this looks quite intricate for a pastry. I sure couldn’t draw a better spiderweb than that, especially in pastry form.

2. Treat yourself this Halloween to a chocolate cauldron pudding cup.

In this, the cauldron is made from chocolate. And the pudding is green with sprinkles on it. Still, I think this might be store bought from the looks of it.

3. Of course, there are no monsters like cheese monsters.

Now this is from a kind of cheese that comes from a red shell. Don’t really know the name of it. However, they are quite adorable and kid friendly.

4. Treat your guests at your Halloween party to some broken shard cupcakes.

Don’t worry the glass shards are sugar pieces. Trust me. Still, might be bad for diabetics and people who are squeamish around blood or open wounds.

5. Go batty this Halloween with these Itty-Bitty Bat cupcakes.

Now they might not be scary since they look like Sesame Street characters. But they’re sure cute and the kids will love them.

6. I’m sure Halloween guests will love these brownie bites.

And yes, they’re literally brownie bites. Just look at their monstrous jobs. Still, more adorable than scary.

7. Nothing makes a more fitting Halloween dish than long bread mummy pizza.

Now I did mummy pizza before in last year’s post. But they were more personal types. This one is for long loaves of bread.

8. Snake bread sticks make a great side dish for your Halloween meal.

Of course, they’re covered on skewers for form. But I’m sure they’re more tasty that you’d probably get at the Olive Garden.

9. Deviled spider eggs always make great Halloween appetizers.

Now these spiders are made of olives. But I’m sure they’re guaranteed to creep some of your guests out.

10. For your Halloween party guests, don’t forget to stock up on jello shots.

And on Halloween, you can expect your jello shots served in plastic toy hypodermic needles like these. Ask you host if they contain alcohol if you’re a parent, designated driver, pregnant, on the Twelve Step, or under 21.

11. Treat your Halloween party guests to these witch hat cupcakes.

The hats themselves are made from black ice cream cones. Still, they’re quite clever from my standpoint.

12. Nothing makes a great Halloween party appetizer than mummified peppers with cheese.

These might be jalapeno but I’m not sure. If they are, then these mummies would certainly be spicy indeed.

13. Freak out your Halloween party guests by serving these blood spattered sugar cookies.

Now these are really disgusting. But don’t worry, it’s just red icing. Still, at least these cookies would be very easy to decorate.

14. Grace your Halloween party dessert platter with this witch’s cauldron cake.

Sure it’s filled with eyeballs and bones galore. However, what’s deserving about this one is that the frog looks very much alive in there.

15. For a biohazardous dessert, you might want to go with urine sample jello cups.

Not sure if these are jello shots or not. If so, then they probably contain alcohol so aren’t suitable for minors. Still pretty disgusting and vomit inducing by sight. I mean that’s supposed to look like pee for God’s sake. Also, don’t use actual pee.

16. Nothing makes a great Halloween snack than Monster Eyeball pretzels.

Now these are quite disgusting and are sure to gross out some trick or treaters. But they seem quite easy to make compared to some of the others on here.

17. Make your Halloween party a graveyard smash with this bloody cleaver cake.

Yes, this is a bloody cleaver cake. Yes, it’s quite graphic. But still, you have to give the baker credit for this.

18. Serve dinner this Halloween with these bone buns.

Of course, they might look like dog bones. But you got to love these. You can even dip them in sauce if you want.

19. Start your Halloween right with these eyeball donuts.

Let’s hope they don’t freak out your boss if you bring these to work. Still, it’s a great way to use lifesavers and other gummy candies.

20. For your dessert platter, why not go with some voodoo doll sugar cookies?

Like gingerbread men Christmas cookies, you can customize them any way you want. And they can be quite amusing, too. Like the one under wraps.

21. For appetizers, you can’t do better than serving graveyard nachos and dip.

Now I’m sure the dip is under the olives and lettuce. Still, I have to admire how this person used the tortilla chips for the gravestones, tree, and cat. Not as messy as the one I showed in last year’s post since it’s in a pan.

22. Make your Halloween party spooky fun with this one-of-a-kind haunted house cake.

I don’t know about you, but this cake seems to have used a lot of brownies. Then again, it really works.

23. If you think a haunted house cake is too complicated, then by no means go with an x-ray cake.

Seems like this person’s heart is too small. By how many sizes, I’m not sure. But I really want to avoid referencing the Grinch at this point. I mean it’s way too early to think about Christmas right now.

24. Of course, you’ve seen me post pictures of mummy pizzas. But have you heard of Frankenpizza?

Now this is awesome. You have to admire how they made it green as well as used veggies and pepperoni for the facial attributes.

25. If you’re thinking about a spooky dessert, you can’t go wrong with zombie trifle.

Not sure if you can eat the body parts in this. But you have to admit, though disgusting, it’s very Halloween appropriate.

26. For those who prefer sophisticated Halloween parties, why not go with a shrimp cocktail brain?

Now that looks so disgusting that it’s bound to gross out some party guests. Still, shrimp seem to make rather convincing brain matter for some reason.

27. If you prefer healthy snacks, you might want to go with oranges and bananas.

And by that I mean banana ghosts and orange pumpkins. Or pumpkins made from oranges. Seems like the first healthy treat on this post.

28. Nothing makes a better Halloween party than a dish of spider infested tacos.

Don’t worry, the spiders are olives. Still, I recommend you serve one of these to the party guest dressed as Donald Trump. Or Donald Trump himself for that matter.

29. Nothing makes a Halloween party a graveyard smash than brain cake.

And look, you can even cut it with a knife. Still, I’m not sure if that’s an actual knife by the way. However, quite disgusting.

30. If you like jack o’lanterns and healthy appetizers, then these jack o’lantern rice balls are for you.

Now these might not be the scariest treats out there. But they’re simply adorable. And I’m sure your kids would love them.

31. It may be too early for Christmas. But that doesn’t mean it’s too early for gingerbread men if you put fangs on them.

Now I have to admit, vampire gingerbread men is a fantastic idea. Just love the fangs on these. Whoever came up with this idea is a genius.

32. If you don’t think blood spatter sugar cookies aren’t disgusting enough, may I suggest brain cookies?

You use nuts for the brains as you see here. But yes, they’re not for the faint hearted on a full stomach.

33. Seems like a vampire has bit into this bloody cupcake.

Now this looks quite doable. Just ice a cupcake, poke two holes, and add some red filling for blood.

34. Nothing makes a great Halloween party into a real monster mash than a Bride of Frankenstein chips and dip tray.

Now the dip is her face and consists of mostly guacamole. And her hair is mostly made from blue and regular tortilla chips. Still, very clever.

35. For Halloween hotdogs buns and wraps, you might want to consider the zombie option.

Well, they’re said to be zombies according to Pinterest. And they certainly have dead eyes. But I kind of liken them to undead mollusks myself.

36. You’ve heard of brownies. But have you ever heard of a Frankenbrownie?

Now this is pretty clever. Love how they used chocolate bits for the brow, mouth, and bolts.

37. Yes, it’s too early for Christmas. But I’m sure it’s not too early to build a gingerbread house as long as it’s haunted.

Now this is great but I’m not sure if anyone would want to eat it. Seriously, you wouldn’t want to eat anything with that much candy corn.

38. Nothing makes a scary Halloween party more worthwhile than these skeleton cupcakes.

The skeletons are mostly made from marshmallow and are only down to the waist. Nevertheless, they’re quite cute to say the least.

39. Ghostly pretzel sticks always make for a tasty treat.

Either these are covered in white icing or white chocolate. Still, they look quite easy to make and don’t frighten the kids.

40. For Halloween parties, you can’t go wrong with mini monster cheese balls.

Sure they may not be scary or disgusting. But they’re very adorable and kid friendly to say the least.

41. How about a ghostly marshmallow in your hot chocolate?

All you have to do is just put a face on the marshmallow. And you can put it in the fondue all you want.

42. For a healthy snack, why not go for an orange under wraps.

I’m sure the only edible part about this treat is the orange. The wraps look like they’re made from toilet paper or party streamers.

43. If you want to serve healthier sides, you might want to go jack o’lantern sweet potato fries.

Of course, since sweet potatoes are orange on the outside, you have to make jack o’lanterns out of the slices. Still, quite cute and clever.

44. Serve up your guests this Halloween with these pumpkin patch cupcakes.

As to how this person obtained bundt cupcake molds, I have no idea. Still, comes with some vine and color icing. But not too much.

45. Gross out your Halloween party guests with this zombie cookie dip.

Again, not sure if the body parts are edible in this. And yes, it looks quite disgusting. Not sure if I want to dip cookies in this, which will probably be bones.

46. I may be wrong but you can’t give no bones about cookie bones.

Yes, I had some cookie bones on last year’s post but they were covered in white icing. These are not. Then again, real bones aren’t really pure white are they?

47. If you want your dessert platter to be a success, you might want to make some mummy cookies.

Because we all know that everyone wants mummy cookies at their Halloween party. Not sure how to make these though.

48. May your Halloween pasta salad include jack o’lantern zucchini slices and purple noodles.

Of course, I’m not sure if most people can master the jack o’lantern zucchini slices. You might want to get something for that.

49. Halloween parties are always a graveyard smash with graveyard pudding.

Now this is just dead clever. Love the cookie graves. Not sure about the candy corn pumpkins though.

50. For a bewitching good time, cauldron cupcakes will certainly do.

Now that’s an ingenious use for a Rees’ peanut butter cup. Like the yellow icing flames, too.

51. You can make almost anything spooky with Oreos.

Now these consist of a bat, octopus, and spider. All of which are covered in chocolate. Still more adorable than scary.

52. Your guests might see these vampire cookies as real bloody good.

I think these might require those peanut cookies you might get at the grocery store. Wonder what they used for the red cape.

53. I’m certain kids will surely enjoy a ghostly peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

You can just use the eyes for raisins. But make sure to use white bread this time because you know, ghosts are typically seen as white.

54. A Ouijia board is bound to help you communicate with the dead.

Pinterest says it’s a cookie but I think it’s a cake. It’s just that it’s fairly detailed in the icing contents. But your dead ancestors are bound to love it.

55. Of course, you can’t start a Halloween party without a Frankenstein Monster cheese ball.

Well, at least that’s a more original choice than a skull or pumpkin one. Yes, the cheese is green. But still, I think it’s clever.

56. These witchy marshmallows will sure make a real trick or treat.

Amazing what you can do with marshmallows and candies. More adorable than scary. But then again, kids will love these.

57. Encourage scary health habits with these jack o’lantern salad cups.

Now I wonder how this person managed to get the orange out of the peels like that. I mean it must be a very difficult process.

58. Nothing makes Halloween parties a monster blast than jack o’lantern stuffed bell peppers.

If you want some added grossness, you might want to add pasta instead of ground beef and rice. Still, this is adorable.

59. You can never put too many eyes on a monster cookie.

And I guess someone must’ve used a lot of white M&Ms for this. Well, at least that’s my impression.

60. Make your Halloween party bewitching good fun with these cauldron cake pops.

Have to put in some Halloween cake pops sometime. Also, do candy bones really come in so many different colors. And so bright?

61. For your Halloween lunch, be sure to treat your kids to a jack o’lantern grilled cheese sandwich.

Seems like this grilled cheese sandwich isn't too happy being on the skillet. Just wait until it goes on the plate.

Seems like this grilled cheese sandwich isn’t too happy being on the skillet. Just wait when it goes on the plate.

62. Treat yourself this Halloween to some ghost and spider pizza.

Now the ghosts are made of cheese and the spiders are made of olives. Still, quite ingenious if I do say so myself.

63. These spider cookies will surely creep your arachnaphobic guests out.

For some reason, Halloween isn’t really a good time for people who are afraid of spiders. I wonder why.

64. For your ghoulish main course on Halloween dinner, why don’t you go with mummy meatloaf?

Now you don’t see the mummy here because it’s all under pasta wraps. Still, I have to admire the ingenuity in this culinary creation.

65. For your dessert, there’s always something brewing with this wtiches’ cauldron pudding.

And it seems like there are lots of sugary body parts in this, too. Wonder if the cauldrons themselves are edible. Probably not.

66. Usher in the spirit of Halloween with these candy corn Rice Krispie treats on a stick.

Let’s hope they taste like Rice Krispies, marshmallow, and icing they’re made from and not real candy corn. Honestly, candy corn is disgusting.

67. Of course, it’s said the pumpkin puke makes a fine salad.

Hey, I didn’t know that pumpkin vomit was green. Always thought it would be orange. I mean pumpkins are orange and have orange insides.

68. Of course, you can’t have a Halloween party without graveyard pudding cups.

The ghosts are of the sugary marshmallow stuff associated with peeps. The pumpkins are candy corn. But I’m sure the chocolate pudding is edible and tasty, too.

69. Meatball mummies go great with almost any dish beyond the grave.

Now this consists of ground beef covered in pasta. Cute and adorable but very clever.

70. Nothing makes a better trick or treat than a popcorn hand.

Now this is perhaps one the few Halloween treats on here that I’ve been familiar with as a kid. The candy corn are the nails while the popcorn is everything else. And it’s all held up in a plastic, disposable glove.

71. Nothing makes a better Halloween dessert than a worm infested jello brain.

Yes, it’s disgusting but at least you can add the gummy worms after making the jello brain. Now as how to get a jello brain mold, you might need to visit Amazon.

72. Dip some bread into some cheesy brains.

Yes, I do admit brains are gross. But Halloween decorations are meant to be this way. Still, love how they stuck a knife into it.

73. Jack o’ lantern taco hummus dip is sure to give some scary Halloween flavor.

This looks quite adorable if I do say so myself. Not sure about the layers. But the top consists of shredded cheddar, olives, and blue tortilla chips.

74. When it comes to bewitching fun on Halloween, you can’t go wrong with broom cookies.

Now these appear to have pretzels, chocolate icing, cookies, and not sure what the stringy part is there. Still, these are quite clever and cute.

75. Of course, it wouldn’t be Halloween without any bones and blood.

As to whether this is supposed to be an appetizer or dessert, you can’t easily tell by the picture. Nevertheless, it’s quite disturbing if you get my drift.

76. How about some eyeballs in your taco salad?

Hope two is enough for you? Still, it might look like your salad is staring at you for awhile. It might seem creepy to some.

77. Eeek! My taco is staring at me!

Of course, you might need to use meatballs for these tacos. Still, despite creepiness, this seems like an awesome idea.

78. As we all know, you can’t have Halloween without some jack o’lantern cake pops.

Of course, since jack o’lanterns are such iconic symbols of Halloween, I had to include cake pops of these. Nevertheless, so cute.

79. Of course, anybody’s jello can use a few eyeballs.

Not sure how the eyeballs are made here. However, it is fairly disgusting enough to be a hit at any Halloween party.

80. I can assure you that these Eye of Newt Preztels will be all the Halloween monster rage this year.

Now these are quite charming despite having all kinds of eyeballs. Still, you have to hand it to some people in terms of culinary creativity.

The Spooky World of Halloween Pumpkin Dioramas

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 11, 2015

Most of you might know that Halloween is the time of year when people carve pumpkins into jack o’ lanterns and other carvings. However, for those who might be bored with the idea of carving pumpkins, you might want to consider an alternative. And while doing my post on Halloween crafts, I found just the thing: pumpkin dioramas. This just entails cutting a pumpkin from the side, taking any stuff out, and decorating the inside however you please. Or you can just use a foam one wherever they sell them. And while it’s not nearly as popular as the Easter peep dioramas, you still have some of these on Pinterest. You can also see quite a few tutorials on the subject as well if you’re interested. Now many pumpkin dioramas consist of Halloween scenes like graveyards, haunted houses, pumpkin patches, and the like. And like jack o’lanterns, they’re usually lit from the inside, too. But if you’re a repressed art major or someone looking for a different kind of crafting, then be my guest. So without further adieu, here are some spooky pumpkin dioramas.

Heard that a giant pumpkin can offer a comfy living accommodation for any witch.

Odd, I’d usually expect a haggard witch like her to cook some potion. But this one seems to enjoy knitting for some reason. Then again, it might just be a hobby.

2. Of course, sometimes jail time can really take the life out of you.

Looks like the guy holding the bars isn’t the only person who literally died in there. Just look at the others inside. He seems to have very good company.

3. So I guess this is the broom parking zone.

And it seems the witches got there almost twenty minutes before midnight. Of course, I’m not sure if the zombies are happy in this neck of the cemetery.

4. Looks like the owl has really made itself at home in this pumpkin.

Now this is quite rustic for a pumpkin diorama. But still, really like the owl in its hole. Not very scary but very fitting for fall.

5. Of course, at night, the cemetery can be a hopping place.

Yeah, nothing in the cemetery compares to the sight of skeletons and mummies dancing. Hey, wait a minute, aren’t mummies supposed to be in Egypt? What the hell is it doing here?

6. At some old houses, it can get quite scary at night, especially if they’re haunted.

This is especially true if the house in question has their very own family cemetery. Like the crow, though.

7. Not sure if I ever want to go into this witch’s pumpkin patch at night.

Now I like how the pumpkins seem to glow in the dark. Still, that tree seems to have a lot of large fruit.

8. The cemetery can be a rather bleak place on autumn nights.

Now this one uses twigs for bare trees as well as moss for the graveyard ground. Not sure if the leaves are real.

9. Seems like a lot of people got hanged in this area.

Now this is quite neat. Still, I’m not sure if there would be an area with skeletons on a noose like that. I’m sure people would see that.

10. Seems like the earth isn’t safe with these pumpkin aliens.

Now this is clever. This used a pumpkin as a flying saucer or UFO and small green pumpkins as aliens.

11. Looks like the zombies are out messing around this time of night.

Of course, who says that the dead aren’t a very lively bunch? Still, like how this person used a light bulb for the moon.

12. Now this graveyard seems like a ghostly hangout.

Not sure what’s under the ghosts (probably wires or foam). But I do like the one on top.

13. Guess the graveyard shift isn’t as dull as it’s cracked up to be.

Seems like the skeletons are having fun and are making no bones about it. And there’s even one with a top hat and cane.

14. Of course, there’s nothing like spending Halloween in the North Pole.

Hey, I didn’t say that pumpkin dioramas had to be about Halloween stuff. Still, not sure if the people can fit into the igloo.

15. Nighttime is said to be when you can hear the wolf howling at the moon.

I’m not sure if wolves really howl at the moon. I mean howling could just as easily be a form of long distance communication for them.

16. Seems like this graveyard is fenced in and gives no bones about it.

Let’s hope they didn’t get the bones from the graves. Because that would be bad. Really bad. Still, like the lamp post.

17. A pumpkin and a bouquet of black roses are all that a skeleton needs for a date.

Yes, he may be all bones by now. But he seems smiling and ready for action.

18. It’s said to be customary for some people to tell ghost stories at a Halloween bonfire.

Guess the kid dressed is Batman seems quite frightened. Then again, the lighting makes the atmosphere quite eerie.

19. Using purple light for your diorama can certainly make a graveyard scene look grim.

Now that pipe cleaner tree looks straight out of some Dr. Seuss story. And that grim looks certainly menacing.

20. It’s fairly apparent the fairies love to frolic in spring gardens.

Yes, it’s a fairy scene in a pumpkin. I know that pumpkins are fall plants while flowers are spring. Yes, it’s kind of confusing.

21. Remember, it always pays to show up around dusk for the graveyard shift.

Now this kind of looks like dusk since the inside is painted white. But the skeleton looks just as menacing from the shadows.

22. This little princess is all dressed up for her Halloween party.

And it seems like she’s headed towards the snack table. Still, the decorations in the room are certainly vintage.

23. Of course, nothing captures the woodland spirit than a scene with deer.

Just so you know that you can’t shoot deer on Halloween. Because deer hunting season begins after Thanksgiving. Why the makers of Out of the Furnace didn’t know this, I’m not sure.

24. Sometimes spending time outside the casket can look quite frightening to living human onlookers.

From the view in this picture, this scene looks quite menacing, especially with the skeleton in the coffin and the other surrounding him. Still, you have to love the bow on this.

25. There are sometimes spending Halloween nights in graveyards can be a ghoulish experience.

Now unlike many of the pumpkin dioramas here, this one is carved in a rather unusual way to give it a spooky feel. Still, not sure how that can be pulled off.

26. Seems like this mummy is definitely no fan of the great white archaeologist.

Finally, a pumpkin diorama with an appropriate mummy scene. However, I’m not sure if Egypt has that many palm trees near the Valley of Kings.

27. Guess the undead Wild West was quite lively in its day.

Not sure if the moss is appropriate but it sure brings a creepy vibe. Still, love the western clad skeletons in this.

28. Of course, it always pays to spend time studying in the library.

Man, kind of disappointed that this doesn’t look decrepit. Just looks like somebody studying in the library, possibly in the evening hours.

29. When doing a pumpkin graveyard scene, make sure to make it as creepy as possible.

Now this looks quite messy with all the lights mangled for a pink glow sky and the ground that appears covered in last year’s Christmas decorations. Still, quite appropriate for Halloween.

30. Fall is the time when wolves howl at the full moon at night.

Hey, wolves don’t howl just for the sake of it. They howl to make other packs know about their family presence. There’s nothing creepy about it.

31. Sometimes you can create a whole wilderness in just one little pumpkin.

Now I wonder how someone pulled this off. Then again, the pumpkin is probably bigger than it appears in this photo.

32. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Foresaken Cemetery.

Now this is another one of these intricately cut pumpkins. Still, I do like the lighting in this. Very eerie if you get my drift.

33. Seems like these astronauts have encountered some alien lifeform near Earth.

Now this one is quite creative. Still, not sure why the fuzzy guy in this isn’t wearing a space suit. I mean space exists in a vacuum and if you have no suit on, you’re dead.

34. Looks like the full moon is over the haunted house tonight.

Now the props used in this seem to consist of paper cutouts. And there’s only a little bit of light to bring in some eerie atmosphere in this one.

35. Seems like this skeleton wants his jack o’lantern all to himself.

Now this one seems quite simple to make and doesn’t seem to require a lot of materials. Of course, the trees are made from pipe cleaners and don’t seem very big.

36. Looks like this skeleton wants to rise and shine out from his coffin.

Now this also looks pretty doable. Still, not sure if the skeleton is male or female. Then again, skeletons tend to be made with narrow pelvises anyway, which usually indicate male.

37. Leave a pumpkin hollowed out too long and it will become a place for a spider to spin its web.

Now this doesn’t seem to take much work at all. Then again, there’s a choice between regular spiderweb or cobweb.

38. Of course, nothing commemorates Halloween more than a pumpkin diorama of Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin.

Seriously, Linus should just wait for the Great Pumpkin after trick or treating. But you know, he never seems to give up hope that the Great Pumpkin would show up someday. Yeah, it’s ridiculous.

39. I guess this house is really haunted with ghosts. Wouldn’t you agree?

Once again, this is mostly paper decorations. However, you wouldn’t want to stay in a house like that.

40. This one is known as, “Death’s Coffee Break.”

Because even though Death has a rather busy schedule, he still needs to make time for a cup of joe. Yeah, he tends to work very odd and long hours 7 days a week.

41. “Hello, and welcome to this pumpkin home.”

Looks a bit small for a doll like that. And there doesn’t seem to be a lot of space. Still, she might have plenty of food.

42. There’s nothing more teeth clenching than seeing a pirate having to battle snakes for his treasure on a deserted island.

Contrary to popular belief, pirates didn’t bury their treasure since most of them didn’t expect to live long. Nor did they battle giant monster snakes. Still, this looks pretty cool.

43. Remember that there’s no party like a Halloween party.

Now this one looks pretty cramped. And all you see is a table and decorations. Wonder how big the pumpkin is.

44. I’m sure a cozy home like this should be plenty for 3 witches.

Seems like they’re making potions in there. Hope one of them doesn’t cause a fire or anything worse.

45. A pumpkin like this shows a world during the time of the dinosaurs.

Actually this might be the Cretaceous period as far as I can see. And they were about the last group of dinosaurs before they became extinct 65 million years ago.

46. Revisit the magical world of Harry Potter with these pumpkin dioramas.

Seems like they got Hagrid’s hut from book 3 since Buckbeak appears all chained up. And I see they have Harry playing Quidditch, too.

47. For any stranded travelers on Halloween, beware of having your car break down near houses like these.

Now this paper haunted house is actually quite well designed. Still, might need more detail and appear more decrepit looking.

48. Of course, it’s possible that a raven will linger in the cemeteries at night.

Now that’s a clever idea. Not sure about the size of the bird in proportion to the grave stones. But, hey, it works.

49. When green light comes into play, anything can be made as eerie as you want it.

Of course, seeing a green light like this is never a good sign. Still, at least that light is at a graveyard and not at a nuclear facility.

50. It has become apparent to me that the ferocious 3 headed dog wants to play fetch with a stick.

Of course, I’m not sure what’s in the background in this one. Still, I don’t think Fluffy is the kind of dog you want to play fetch with. Dogs like that can get quite nasty.

Scary and Eerily Adorable DIY Halloween Costume Inspirations

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2015

Now this might not be quite DIY but it's good enough. This is my Hogwarts school girl costume that I wore for Halloween all 4 years in college. Now the scarf, knee socks, and shirt were a gift I received from my uncle and aunt in Florida. The black tights, black skirt, and white polo shirt are straight from my wardrobe. And the quill is a turkey feather from my neighbors, I think. Still, I decided to go with a sexy costume pose for this post.

Now this might not be quite DIY but it’s good enough. This is my Hogwarts school girl costume that I wore for Halloween all 4 years in college. Of course, this one is Gryffindor, Harry Potter’s house in the books. But I’ve had people think that I was Hermione Granger. Now the scarf, knee socks, and shirt were a gift I received from my uncle and aunt in Florida. The black tights, black skirt, and white polo shirt are straight from my wardrobe. And the quill is a turkey feather from my neighbors, I think (not a quill you’d see at Hogwarts, but then again, Hedwig is a snowy owl, which is from North America anyway). Still, I decided to go with a sexy costume pose for this post.

As we all know, it’s always been customary for people to wear costumes for Halloween, especially if it’s for parties or trick or treating. However, trick or treating tends to start getting awkward when you’re a teenager. Still, there are plenty of costumes out there you can choose from if you look for the ready made ones online. For a 25 year old woman like myself, you have sexy French maid, sexy genie, sexy witch, sexy Catholic schoolgirl, sexy nurse, sexy nun, sexy Sesame Street muppet, sexy Disney princess, sexy cop, sexy Hogwarts schoolgirl, sexy cultural stereotypes, and sexy, well, you get the idea. Still, ladies, if you don’t want a sexy costume, you an always go with the male counterpart. Still, sometimes store bought costumes really aren’t what they’re cracked up to be. And by that I mean tacky, unoriginal, offensive, and stereotypical. So many people resort to making their own maybe because it’s cheaper or that they’d want to have more creative control and fun. Sometimes they might go with a standard Halloween costume that’s recognizable. Other times, it might be something original entirely. For those who are thinking of making their own costumes this year, allow me to be of service by showing you pictures of people in costumes that might provide some inspiration. So for your reading pleasure, here is a treasure trove of people in the costumes they’ve made themselves.

Effiel Tower

Now this is adorable. Girl has the Effiel Tower in the back as well as is dressed like a French girl. Only the snottiest French person could hate this one.

2. Clippy

For my younger readers, Clippy was an office assistant in the early Microsoft Office programs. He was annoying as hell. Still, this is a fairly simple costume idea that doesn’t require a lot of work.

3. Sumo Wrestler

Now this is the most adorable sumo wrestler I’ve ever seen. Notice how the parents just used some brown shorts and a ridiculous baby wig. Wonder how this kid will think of this picture in later years.

4. Powderpuff Girls

The Powderpuff Girls was a cartoon series back in the day that was originally set as a parody of Sailor Moon. It’s about three crime fighting sisters whose names are Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup. Still, wonder what their costumes are made of. Duct tape?

5. Cocktail

I bet this dog’s owner is dressing up as James Bond for Halloween. If so, then it’s a martini, shaken, not stirred. Of course, kind of humiliating being in a cone.

6. Troll Dolls

These were toys that were a fad around the 1980s and 1990s. Of course, they were naked but modesty demands these women to wear flesh colored dresses. Which I think is fair.

7. Titanic Survivors

Since I’m a history major and know quite a bit about the RMS Titanic, I wouldn’t necessarily call them Titanic survivors. I mean very few survivors were actually rescued. Why? Because most of them froze to death well before the rescue boats arrived.

8. WALL-E

Now this is so adorable. I wonder if he has a sister dressed up as EVE. Then again, EVE and WALL-E are robots and don’t need to have gender.

9. Pizza Delivery Boy and Slice

Now this is a cute costume for a couple. However, she could just as easily go as a well endowed college coed or horny housewife. Or she could go as a serial killer. You know what they say about pizza boys in porn and crime shows.

10. Operation Board Game

Of course, if you pick the wrong part out, his red nose will go off like a Christmas tree. Still, you have to wonder how these parts got into his body.

11. Mac n’ Cheese

Amazing what you can do with leftover toilet paper rolls. And cardboard while you’re at it. However, unlike real mac n’ cheese, you can’t eat her.

12. Queen Cleopatra

Yes, I’m sure Cleopatra is a perfectly appropriate costume for a girl. Of course, this is a woman who married and killed two half-brothers, had her sisters assassinated, fooled around with Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, and committed suicide.

13. Abercrombie & Fitch

I am no fan of Abercrombie & Fitch. However, I have to admire this boy’s parents’ creativity with making a costume from a paper bag.

14. Medusa

Yes, this little girl is adorable. But look directly into her eyes and I swear she’ll have you literally stone dead. Of course, she needs to watch out for Perseus.

15. Humpty Dumpty

Another adorable baby costume. Of course, if he falls, let’s hope that his cracks don’t show.

16. Klimt Kiss

Now this costume was inspired by a famous painting by Austrian artist Gustav Klimt. He’s also famous for Woman in Gold which was subject to a really nasty legal battle with an elderly Holocaust survivor.

17. Crazy Cat Lady

Now this costume is as hilarious as it is cute. Love how she has all the stuffed cats dangling on her. Boy, we love to make fun of crazy cat ladies.

18. Peacock

Though the peacock is a common costume for women, it’s a dude in the animal kingdom. Trust me, peacocks are dudes. Peahens are female, but not as pretty.

19. Watch Dog

For your pets, this is a relatively simple costume. I mean at least it doesn’t take much time to put the watches on.

20. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Now the couple’s costume consists of Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King and his rag doll gal, Sally. Since it has a big fan base and is associated with Tim Burton, had to include these two.

21. Stone Warrior

Guess this guy’s girlfriend, sister, wife, or daughter is going as Medusa. Ask me how I could’ve guessed. I dare you.

22. Harry Potter and Dobby the House Elf

Now this is simply adorable. Still, I have to wonder who the dad’s going as. Voldemort? Dumbledore? Hagrid? Ron? Snape?

23. Lumberjack

He may be rugged and manly on the outside. But little do people know that his hobbies include pressing wild flowers, crossdressing, and hanging around in bars. Wishes he was a girly just like his dear papa.

24. Black Swan

Reminds me less of the movie and more of the SNL spoof sketch featuring Jim Carrey. Wonder why.

25. Hotdog Stand

Of course, I’m sure the dog is thrilled with this costume idea. Then again, it’s pretty funny if you really think about it.

26. Cindy Lou Who

Yes, I know that she’s from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. But still, this girl looks so adorable in this costume.

27. Acrobats

It’s what you get when you do a nature documentary with Cirque du Soleil. Get it? Well, at least this costume makes more sense than any of their routines.

28. French Baker and Buns

Seems like this guy can’t keep himself away from her buns. Or are those cakes. Well, they look like buns to me.

29. Ace Ventura

Now if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll get this. The baby is Ace Ventura. The dad is Pittsburgh native, former Miami Dolphins quarterback, and deadbeat dad, Dan Marino,. The mom is disgruntled and crossdressing former Miami Dolphins player Ray Finkle.

30. American Gothic

Based on the famous painting by 20th century American artist Grant Wood. Yes, I know the man has all his hair, but what do you know.

31. John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Of course, I couldn’t forget these two. Didn’t know that John liked to drink Pabst. Still, it’s a shame he got killed like that so young.

32. 50 Shades of Grey

You were expecting something much more kinky. Don’t lie, honestly. Still, I don’t know about you, but I think this costume is better than the book series or the movie.

33. Johnny Cash and June Carter

I guess this was inspired by Walk the Line was it? Of course, June did help Johnny get sober. Then again, he had hit rock bottom that his only options were to either get clean or die.

34. Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan

Yes, I know that Lieutenant Dan is an amputee. But still, at least it wasn’t Forrest and Jenny. Seriously, Jenny was such a dysfunctional human being and Forrest was always saving her ass.

35. The Addams Family

If they did this any earlier than the 1990s, I bet that baby would either be Cousin Itt or Uncle Fester. Any money. Of course, at least Gomez and Morticia are better relationship role models than Romeo and Juliet.

36. Nerds

Yes, these two are nerds all right. Love how they put themselves in a candy box. And they even have different colored socks.

37. One Nightstand

And you thought he was a one night stand. Well, it could still happen as long as this Halloween party goes on. Seriously, hookup culture isn’t new, not new at all.

38. Bob Ross and Happy Little Tree

Yes, Bob Ross certainly likes his happy little trees. The bigger and happier the better. Like the squirrel, too.

39. Paula Deen and Butter

We all know that Paula Deen is a racist. However, she really loves butter which she’s said to put in everything. Still, her food is bound to clog your arteries.

40. Breaking Bad

Of course, this couples costume consists of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. Let’s just say that Jesse’s girlfriends don’t last long and Walt’s wife isn’t much liked on the show. Still, it might be time to cook for them.

41. Candyland

Now these are characters from the creepy game in your childhood. Now there’s Queen Frosty, Princess Lolli, the Candy Cane Lumberjack, and the Cupcake girl. I don’t remember the last one.

42. Clue

For some reason, Mr. Green looks like a 1920s gangster. Still, love the set up in this. And each suspect has their own weapon. Brilliant!

43. Despicable Me

Unfortunately, there are no minions in this family costume. Still, love the look on the the dad's face. Mom's supposed to be Vector by the way. He was the villain in the original movie.

Unfortunately, there are no minions in this family costume. Still, love the look on the the dad’s face. So much like Gru. Mom’s supposed to be Vector by the way. He was the villain in the original movie.

44. Struck by Lightning

Of course, she’d more likely burn to a crisp. But I’m sure applying black makeup would’ve gone badly. Still, quite funny.

45. Bonnie and Clyde

Maybe they’re not as gorgeous as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway. But still, they’re still way better looking than the real life couple. Seriously, they looked like a couple of hicks in real life. And they weren’t nice at all.

46. Milkman and 1950s Housewife

Of course, this is a couple’s costume idea for those in the family way. Still, have you ever heard of “looks like the milkman”? It’s an old saying.

47. Football

Let me guess. It appears to me this costume theme was the dad’s idea. Looks like it. Of course, coach dad and ref mom have a tendency to not always agree on the plays.

48. Roasted Marshmallow

Yes, he’s a roasting marshmallow over an open camp fire. Now that’s pretty clever if you ask me. Love the flames.

49. Beetlejuice

Now this is so funny. Not very familiar with Beetlejuice for some reason. But it’s Tim Burton, so I’ll go with it.

50. Sesame Street

Who needs to sex up Sesame Street characters when you can make tutus with their faces. Now these are great costumes for women. The sexy Bert and Ernie ones were the worst.

51. Error 404

Finally, the Halloween costume for the infamous slacker. All you need is a white T-Shirt and black Sharpie to write the words, “Error 404: Costume Not Found.”

52. Plato

Now this is quite a new spin on the famous philosopher of Ancient Greece. Of course, I’m sure this guy is a philosophy major of some sort.

53. Walt Disney

Well, they have costumes for most of the other Disney characters. So why leave out the big man himself? It would be absurd.

54. Monopoly

Then again, maybe the sexy Monopoly board is a better idea. Seems like old Mr. Pennybags is hoarding some cash. Love the dog token, too.

55. Deer and Hunter

If she’s supposed to be Bambi’s mom, then it’s a disturbing couples’ costume. Wait a minute, she has spots and antlers? I don’t think it’s legal to shoot her, at least in Pennsylvania.

56. Waldo

You know the guy in the books who travels the world but is so hard to find. Can’t tell where he is now.

57. Katniss Everdeen

Let’s just say you don’t want to mess with her when she has her bow and arrow out. I mean she had to kill people with it to survive the Hunger Games. You know the competition where 24 teenagers from Panem are selected to fight to the death.

58. Ginger Bread Man

The guy has bread hanging from him. And he’s a ginger. Get it? Seriously, it’s pretty funny.

59. Fireplace

Yeah, I wouldn’t be too happy either if my head was lopped off and put over a fireplace. Still, you have to feel for the kid.

60. God’s Gift to Women

Or so he thinks. Still, he’s not a bad looking guy. No movie star material but handsome enough for me at least.

61. Swiffer and Mud

Strange to see them getting along so well. Usually Swiffer and mud are mortal enemies. I mean Swiffer is supposed to get rid of dirt, right?

62. Crying Stone Angel

Now you’ve seen statues like this in cemeteries. But have you seen a child dressed like one? I think not.

63. Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins

I’m sure this is the parents’ idea. Kid looks too young to read The Hobbit. Still, quite cute though.

64. The Birds

Yes, she’s the Tippi Hedren character herself. And she’s being pecked by birds. Still, at least she wasn’t the Suzanne Pleshette character who got pecked to death.

65. Ghost Sluts

Finally the sexy costume all women can reasonably look good in. Still, these women are making fun of the sexy costume phenomenon in the retail industry.

66. A Christmas Story

Since TBS airs this movie on Christmas every year, we should all knows who each member is supposed to be. Love the Leg Lamp though. Yeah, pretty funny.

67. Sweepstakes Winners

Look about as what you’d expect from stereotypical winners of Publishers Clearinghouse sweepstakes. He’s in a tacky Hawaiian shirt and she’s in her nightgown and curlers.

68. KFC

Boy is Colonel Sanders while the girl is a bucket of coronary inducing fried chicken with 11 herbs and spices. Like how they’re using KFC buckets for trick or treating.

69. Flower Pot

Now this is simply adorable if you ask me. Love the pretty flowers on this one. Please don’t water her or she might get mad.

70. Sushi Roll

So cute. Wonder how she moves around in it. Then again, might not be as confining as it appears.

71. Bowl of Spaghetti and Meatballs

Hey, at least it’s better than the baby having spaghetti and meatballs all over them. Still, so cute.

72. Raining Cats and Dogs

Yeah, you know it’s really bad when it’s raining cats and dogs. Still, this one takes it quite literally and with maximum amusement.

73. Elf on the Shelf

Now last Christmas, I did a post on Elf on the Shelf, which was kind of tongue and cheek. Still, he may be cute on the outside. But inside, he’s downright evil.

74. Censored

Move along. Nothing to see here. Also, lady, please put a shirt on. And some pants.

75. Outhouse

Hey, kids, can you move along. This boy really needs privacy while he’s doing his business. Still, if they wanted a dash of authenticity, they should’ve went with the Sears Roebuck catalog.

76. Pinata

I’m sure she had her outfit all covered in streamers. Still, love the cone hats. Looks like she’s ready for a fiesta. But don’t beat her open with a stick.

77. Madeline

Madeline was a series of children’s books about a girl in a small Catholic boarding school in Paris. It was published between 1939 and 1961 but they’re still read because they’re so good, especially for girls. I guess the mom here is Ms. Clavel.

78. Coppertone Girl

Well, the dog hanging from her butt is stuffed. Thank God. But yes, that’s the Coppertone girl.

79. Weatherman in a Hurricane

Now this would be a very scary costume, for a weatherman in Florida. Seriously, you don’t know what those people have to deal with during hurricane season.

80. Cactus

Yes, that guy’s supposed to be a cactus. I know it’s hard to believe. But still, you sometimes have to go with what you have.

81. Minions

I know people wouldn’t make me hear the end of it if I didn’t include these guys. Yes, they’re adorable and their costumes are quite easy to make.

82. Spartan Warrior

Inspired by the movie 300, no doubt. Seriously, Spartan warriors didn’t go into battle wearing speedos for God’s sake. Still, cutest little Spartan warrior I’ve ever seen. Sorry, Gerard Butler.

83. Carmen Sandiego

I know she’s thinking of nabbing some major treasure of worldly significance. Just don’t know where in the world is she.

84. Flo and Mayhem

Seems like Flo let Mayhem happen to her. Then again, at least she has Progressive insurance. Hell, she’s the Progressive lady. And Mayhem works for Allstate. Before that he was Liz Lemon’s jerkass boyfriend Dennis Duffy on 30 Rock who appeared on Dateline’s To Catch a Predator.

85. Toddlers and Tiaras

Now I think that Toddlers Tiaras is a terrible show on the sleaziest cable network TLC. However, I find these costumes quite funny. Like the pacifiers.

86. Ceiling Fan

Yes, she seems to be really into ceilings for some reason. Not sure why. Then again, she’s probably nuts.

87. Dust Bunny

If I saw a rabbit wanting to dust my house, I’d sure let them in. Because I really hate dusting. Really hate it.

88. Pothead

No, not that kind of pothead. This guy is perfectly legal as far as I know. Still, pretty funny. Better watch his head though.

89. Fantasy Football

Now this is the kind of Fantasy Football I can get into. Let’s see, I’ll have Harry Potter as quarterback, Hagrid as linebacker, Snape as offensive tackle, Hermione as running back, and Ron as safety. I’m sure anyone with Brady on their team can’t top that.

90. French KISS

They’re dressed as the members of KISS. And they’re dressed like French. Get it? Love how one of them has a baguette and a glass of wine.

91. Energizer Bunny

Now she’s the kind of girl who keeps going, and going…. Yeah, good for a battery but for a human, not so much.

92. Professor Lorax

My guess is that he’s an environmental science teacher because he speaks for the trees. Still, I bet he wants to show his students how insatiable greed leads to environmental destruction and short-term prosperity. Just ask his friend the Oncler.

93. Chia Pet

Now this is just so clever. But I’m sure the dog is certainly not happy. But I love this. I really do. Just so funny.

94. Brawny Man

Heard that this guy is so hot that people buy his paper towels just for the packaging. Still, it’s a pretty clever costume, especially since he has a manly plaid shirt to match the wrapper.

95. Dumbledora the Explorer

Yes, this Spanish speaking old witch is off to an adventure with her backpack. And yes, she has a rather long wizard beard to prove it.

96. Saddam Hussein Bolt

Yes, he’s an Iraqi strong man dictator who’s also the fastest man alive. Also, he really has an insatiable hatred for the kurds and a batshit insane son who tortures people with an iron maiden.

97. Jersey Shore 50th Anniversary Reunion Special

Yes, they don’t look as young and good looking as they used to be. But you wouldn’t want these people in a nursing home in your neck of the woods. Guess, it’s gym, tan, laundry, prune juice, bingo, and the early bird special.

98. Ancient Aliens

The scariest thing about this guy is that people actually believe him and his theories about the origins of notable monuments. Makes me want to tear my hair out as a history major. I mean this guy is just full of shit if you ask me.

99. Captain Canada

Because it’s about time that Canada has its own superhero. Wait a minute, they already do. Seriously, Wolverine’s from that country and he’s the best known X-man ever. But you wouldn’t know it.

100. Trailer Park Avengers

Basically, these would be the Avengers if Marvel studios wasn’t making big budget movies. Also, if Thor, the Hulk, and Captain America weren’t as hot and didn’t have Ironman to pay for their gear and collateral damage.

The Creepy, Crawly World of Scary Halloween Craft Projects

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 8, 2015

Now Halloween is a holiday that pertains to many frightful decorations which include pumpkins, monsters, spider webs, skeletons, zombies, witches, ghouls, vampires, and so much more. Still, there are plenty of people who tend to go all out when it comes to decorating their homes for this scary holiday. Some decorate their homes for parties and trick or treaters. Others do it because they simply love Halloween and want to make their homes look as ghoulish and scary as possible. Of course, you can find plenty of Halloween decorations at your local store this time of year. However, sometimes it’s just cheaper and fun to make your own with rather simple materials that you can find anywhere. I mean why buy cobwebs when you can do just fine with pillow stuffing or cheese cloth? You can even use Halloween decorations, too that are easy to accessorize like skeletons and spiders. Nevertheless, many children might create Halloween decorations in school. However, this post features craft projects more likely made by people who’ve already left fifth grade behind them, particularly Halloween enthusiasts, partiers, parents, and repressed art majors wanting a creative outlet to express themselves. So without further delay to Creepyville, I now present you with a treasury of Halloween craft creations.

Welcome visitors to your Halloween party with a creepy spider and feather wreath on your front door.

Let’s just say anyone with arachnaphobia will sure find this wreath simply terrifying. I mean we all know at least someone who’s afraid of spiders. Am I right?

2. Of course, from what I can tell by these poppies, beauty is surely in the eye of the beholder.

But having eyeballs in the flowers, well, that’s just damn creepy. I mean an eyeball is creepy enough when it’s not in an eye socket. Seriously, it’s gross.

3. Greet trick or treaters at your front door with this monster wreath.

Now this is not very scary in the least since it kind of reminds you of Cookie Monster’s cousin. But I’m sure your guests will love it, especially kids.

4. Of course, no haunted abode can be complete without your very own electric chair.

This isn’t a real, working electric chair. Just a piece of Halloween decoration. Still, I have to admit, it’s very well made that I suspect someone had too much time on their hands.

5. I hear that bones are really good for wind chimes. Won’t you agree?

Yes, I know that neighbors might think there’s something very wrong with you upon looking at this. Luckily, it’s October so any creepy decorations like this are perfectly acceptable. So creep away.

6. Experts recommend that you keep your insects in apothecary jars with green slime.

Don’t worry, the bugs are made from plastic so they’re not poisonous. Not sure about the green slime though.

7. For Halloween, grace your front door with this one-of-a-kind Purple People Eater Wreath.

Now this seems quite simple. But it doesn’t seem too scary either. More like a purple cyclops on Sesame Street. Love the horn though.

8. Heard of a spider web? How about a spider web quilt?

Now my cousin had a giant stuffed spider named Charles when he was a kid. This would’ve been the perfect quilt for him at the time.

9. Make your home extra spooky by making these Halloween paper lanterns.

Use construction paper and cut out black silhouettes to stand out. You can even hang them overhead or put them on the ground. It doesn’t matter.

10. Light up the living room for Halloween with a spooky lamp like this.

Now that’s a spooky lamp with black cob webs galore. Of course, it’s a much more tasteful decoration than black lighting.

11. Now I’m sure Halloween is the only time this mummy wreath isn’t under wraps.

The mummy wraps seem to be made from cheese cloth. And the bow is tied with a couple of skeleton hands hanging from it.

12. Spider webs always look better with purple glitter.

Yes, purple and glittery spider webs with spiders on them. And they’re held by ribbon, too.

13. Uh-oh, looks like we have a zombies in the vent again.

Boy, I’m sure Walking Dead fans want to have a Halloween decoration like this in their homes. Freak out the guests for hours.

14. Dripping candles are always a scary addition, especially if they are black and have skulls on them.

Now I think the flames aren’t real but rather electric. And I think the drip is of crayon or paper machete. However, the skulls sure are sparkly and in different colors.

15. Nothing makes a Halloween party worthwhile than a bottle of boos.

That’s right a bottle of haunting ghost screams bound to give you nightmares. Then again, you might experience some frightening hallucinations if you drink the amount of booze Ray Milland did in The Lost Weekend.

16. How would you want to be greeted by a scary skull like this?

Now this is scary Halloween craftsmanship at its best. It almost looks like it’s been a fixture on the house since the time it was built.

17. A purple witch’s hat always has to come with a few finishing touches.

And by that I mean spiders, bat design, a black flower, black feathers, and tut material. This including the purple as well as black and sparkly kind.

18. This scary skull box will certainly scare the bejesus out of your guests at the Halloween party.

Yes, these are screaming skulls from a box. And it’s tied with barbed wire. Scary but don’t touch it if you dare.

19. Remember that craft cottages make excellent haunted houses painted black.

Well, painting black craft cottages is easy enough to make haunted houses. Yes, black makes things creepy, indeed.

20. Of course, scare your young guests with this spider web wreath of yarn.

Now you have a yarn spider web in the middle. And you have balls of yarn surrounding it as well as the spiders going around the border. Pretty clever if I do say so myself.

21. Don’t have time to make another jack o’ lantern? Make some jack o’ lantern lights with jars.

And the best part is you can paint them in all kinds of different colors, too. Also, you can give them all kinds of faces. Besides, painting is much easier than carving. And safer, too.

22. So these signs show you all where you want to go? So where would it be, Transylvania, Amityville, Salem, Sleepy Hollow, or Roswell?

“Hey, Igor, Transylvania’s that way.” Still, I’d stay out of Salem in 1692. And I’d clear out of Sleepy Hollow in the 18th century. Not so sure about Amityville or Roswell.

23. Of course, if you have a pumpkin, you can use stuff from a craft store to make a centerpiece with it.

Now this pumpkin is so shiny, especially with the black bird and ribbon on top. Still, I really like the urn and the other decorations on it. So stunning and scary.

24. Oh, my God, this book is on fire!

Actually this is a craft project in which it’s supposed to look like a spell book. The flames are an imitation. Still, hope the faux spell book was from the Twilight series. Then again, it looks quite old.

25. You can make a great wreath with a murder of crows.

Actually these are black birds you can find in any craft store. Still, having them together as a wreath with glitter on them might make your guests wonder about you.

26. Serve your guests with this skeleton dish.

Yes, it’s a dish that has skeleton bones on it. A great kind of dish to serve stuff for a Halloween party.

27. Want a jack o’ lantern but can’t find a big enough pumpkin? Well, using a wood crate will do nicely.

Now that will definitely get your house noticed by drivers. However, I can’t do something like that since my parents would need those wooden planks to stack firewood on.

28. Of course, a black cheese cloth and skulls really go well with a picture frame.

Now this is supposed to resemble cobwebs and skulls with feathers and bones. Yes, it’s creative use with picture frames at its finest.

29. A witch’s boot is always a great place for black flowers.

Now this is has witch all over it as you can see with all the witch memorabilia. Love the black flowers though.

30. Hello, trick or treaters, and remember the witch is in.

And it seems that she’s very stuck in the planter outside. Wonder what spell she’ll cast to get out of that cauldron.

31. Grace your front door for Halloween with a wreath of masks.

Seems like they’ve been strung together but you’ll never know. However, it might create a dilemma for the Phantom of the Opera. However, that guy has major issues.

32. Milk cartons always make handy haunted houses when decorated with the right materials.

Now this is an elementary craft project at expert level. Seriously, no elementary art class would ever create haunted houses from milk cartons as amazing as these.

33. Scare trick or treaters by greeting them with a wreath of snakes.

If you have a priceless trinket in your home that “belongs in a museum,” it’s a great way to ward off reckless archaeologist Indiana Jones. Seriously, when it comes to treasures, he’s willing to wreck entire ancient temples with working machinery to get them.

34. An old mirror is always great for greeting Halloween guests.

And this old mirror definitely looks like it’s been in the garage for far too long. Then again, it also has black leaves on it, too. Yes, it was made like that on purpose.

35. Welcome to our humble Halloween home, Don’t mind the feet sticking out from the doormat.

Yeah, I’m sure that witch really didn’t come to a good end there. Well, at least she wasn’t wearing ruby slippers or had a shoe crazy sister.

36. Seems like this ghoul really likes to hang out in this person’s yard for some reason.

Now this implies covering a mannequin with old white or gray clothes. It helps if they’re really tattered or old looking.

37. Who knew that doilies make really good spider webs?

Now unless you don’t want to make the doilies, this might be rather easy to pull off. Then again, I’m sure that they might have doilies at any local store like Big Lots.

38. For Halloween, a snake is great for tying the curtains.

No, this isn’t a real snake. I think it might be an old belt from the looks of it. Still, guaranteed to keep Indiana Jones away from your house.

39. I always thought that black lace goes very well with candles.

Why didn’t I think about using black lace with candles? This looks awesome. Still, hope burning lace doesn’t pose a dangerous fire hazard.

40. Have you ever got the feeling that you were being watched by this wreath?

Now this eyeball wreath is super creepy. I mean regular eyeballs are disturbing enough. Glow in the dark eyeballs, now that’s a whole new level of creepiness.

41. I hear that cheese cloth ghosts make great chandelier decorations.

Not sure if these ghosts make your house haunted for Halloween. However, it’s still quite worth trying out if you ask me.

42. Of course, paper ghosts can be just as scary if you think about it.

Of course, you can hang these on a ceiling, too. However, they’re better to photograph while on the hardwood floor.

43. Eeek! There are creepy crawlies in my soap!

Actually these soaps were made this way. It’s supposed to freak visitors out during Halloween parties. Still, wonder if I should try this.

44. Now these black flowers would surely go well on any Halloween fireplace mantle.

Now Morticia Addams would totally want these in her home, especially on Valentines Day. Still, wonder why she tends to cut off the flowers though.

45. Of course, a dismembered finger always makes a great writing implement.

Yes, this is a finger pen. Yes, you can write with it. Yes, it’s creepy as hell. Don’t ask.

46. For Halloween, greet visitors with this one-of-a-kind Halloween wreath.

Now this wreath seems mostly laced with black streamers. Also, resembles a wreath you’d expect to see in a funeral home.

47. Got old photos lying in your house? Then make them look even scarier with red eyes and fangs.

Of course, you might want to use old photos you found on the Internet. Or just scan the old photos with a copier. Your family wouldn’t be happy if you use the old ones lying around in your house.

48. Looks like these two skeletons seem to be in a hurry to hide the body.

“Hurry up and bury him before somebody sees us, Alex. You don’t want the neighbors getting suspicious.”

49. Man, this lamp is so old that you’d swear that there are cobwebs and spiders all over it.

Actually this is a craft project, especially since cobwebs are either gray or white. The black cobwebs is actually dyed cheese cloth. Besides, most spiders aren’t that big.

50. Remember, you never know what can go bump in the night.

Now this makes a great Halloween yard decoration. Sure to freak out a few trick or treaters to the point of wetting themselves.

51. Of course, black birds always cater to black candles.

Now this doesn’t use real candle flames. But it does look quite eerie. Still, like the bird and like the glitter.

52. Welcome to my humble home and I mean no bones about it.

I’m sure this skeleton is just hanging around to greet the guests. Doesn’t really mean to scare anybody.

53. Oh, my God, did I just see a ghost in the yard?

A ghost decoration like this might scare the hell out of drivers. And it might attract ghost hunters. Then again, ghost hunters tend to go to old houses.

54. Man, I haven’t used these candlesticks in ages. But I didn’t expect them to be this covered in cobwebs.

Actually these consist of cheese cloths and plastic spiders on the candlesticks. They also have old leaves for a more decrepit look.

55. Of course, you can always see ghosts in the light.

And it seems these little ghosts are having a good time on this bonsai with lights on it. Of course, some are more ornery than others.

56. When it comes to jars, you can also make your own spooky grave yard scene.

Now this is cool. Love how they paint the jars just the right color to show a sunset as the spooky stuff comes into play.

57. Hey, this isn’t Christmas yet. Oh, wait.

Now this is a real monster wreath. For those who really love The Nightmare Before Christmas, this also makes a great yuletide decoration as well.

58. Sorry, everyone, but it looks like the wreath is infested with spiders at the moment.

Now this is said to cost under $3. However, to arachnophobic visitors, it might mean a lifetime of therapy.

59. With streamers, wires, and string, you can make your own spider nest.

Now this is very creepy and will certainly creep out your Halloween party guests. Anyone scared of spiders might want to avoid your place next time.

60. If you look up, I wonder if you can see the witch’s underwear.

I’ve seen a few of these on Pinterest. Actually I’ve seen a lot of these. And yes, this usually requires an umbrella.

61. Remember that a flower pot makes a great Halloween bat wind chime.

Might be as scary as the other decorations on here. But it’s pretty cute it’s worth putting on this post.

62. Looks like we have some mad killer on the loose in this neighborhood.

My mistake, these are Halloween decorations. But you have to admit despite how disgusting it looks, the bloody corpse in body bags has to be quite clever.

63. For those who love Little Shop of Horrors, you can now make your very own Audrey II plant.

Of course, this isn’t nearly as dangerous as the one you see in the movies. Just to note, the original movie had Seymour sacrificing himself to kill the plant.

64. Greet your visitors this Halloween with this black wreath of shiny baubles.

Now this looks quite pretty for a Halloween decoration. Then again, this seems to be borrowing from Christmas.

65. For your Halloween party, impress your visitors with your very own Nevermore Wreath.

Yes, bird is supposed to be a raven despite looking rather small. Still, love the black flowers on this though.

66. Hey, I didn’t know that spider string glowed in the dark.

Actually someone made them this way. Not sure if spiders actually spin stuff like that. But still looks cool.

67. Got some old bones lying around? Then how about make a wreath?

Actually don’t use real skeletons for this because it’s illegal as well as downright creepy. A dollar store skeleton would do just fine. Still, pretty weird though and I give no bones about it.

68. If you have any masks lying around, I’m sure they’ll go great with some old, dirty cloth pieces.

Now this is pretty scary decor for a haunted house. Yeah, those masks are downright creepy if you ask me, especially when made to resemble ghosts.

69. Hello, hang up your coat and stay awhile.

Now this is freaky. Using baby doll limbs for coat hooks. Probably one of the sickest shop class projects ever.

70. Seems that the black birds really like to roost on that dead branch for some reason.

Yes, the branch is covered in lights for effect and the birds are quite small. But still, it’s quite awesome if you ask me.

71. Greet visitors to your Halloween party with this ghost hanging on your front porch.

Of course, this is made from some stuff you might be able to find at a craft store or a trash heap. Yeah, probably doesn’t look as scary in the day time.

72. Of course, your small black birds always could use a rest on a bonsai tree.

Of course, I’m not sure about the tree being alive or dead. But the birds really give it a good Halloween feel to it.

73. Now this fuzzy black wreath with flowers will certainly impress your Halloween visitors.

Now this looks like something you might find either at the Addams family house or at a funeral parlor. Then again, you might see something like this at the Munsters,’ too.

74. Of course, these three witches are just outside hanging out. Not trying to scare anybody.

Man, their outfits sure look way colorful than I expected them. Seems like one of them is particularly partial to yellow for some reason.

75. Of course, Halloween wouldn’t be complete with a bloody face of skin.

Now this is disgusting. But I’m sure this is the kind of stuff you see in a slasher horror movie. Not sure if I like it though.

76. Quick! There are hands sticking out of the fireplace! Run for your lives!

Of course, this is a cardboard Halloween decoration. It won’t harm anybody. Still, pretty cool if you ask me.

77. Can’t find a skeleton at the dollar store? Then make one with some milk jugs.

Now this is quite clever. Not quite close to a skeleton you find in a store. But if you want a last minute decoration, this will do fine.

78. Make your house haunted with a black flower wreath like this one.

Again, another wreath that kind of looks like it belongs in a funeral parlor. Still, I think it’s pretty and I like it. So it goes on this post.

79. Oh, my God, did I just see Freddy Kreuger on the toilet?

I’m not a fan of slasher horror movies nor the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Still, I know there will be plenty of people who’d appreciate this.

80. Of course, we should all mourn the loss of the Wicked Witch of the East with a Halloween celebration in Munchkin land of course.

Then again, I think the munchkins were quite creepy in The Wizard of Oz for some reason. Still, I wouldn’t touch those ruby slippers if I were you.

81. So I guess this is what they do at witches’ meetings.

Now these witches are made of some trash bags as you see here. Still, might make my parents mad if I try to attempt this.

82. As they say, it’s not Halloween unless you can hang candles from the ceiling.

Of course, these must be toilet paper or paper towel rolls. And I’m sure the candles are fake. But still reminds me of Harry Potter for some reason. I wonder why.

83. I knew tables had legs but this is ridiculous.

Now this is creepy. If someone had a table like this, I’d question their sanity. That is, unless it’s Halloween of course.

84. Welcome to our humble home, don’t mind the encased samples in the living room.

Now this is pretty disgusting. Who could’ve thought up with this, I may never know. Still, wonder if it might cause some trick and treaters to vomit. Then again, some might think this is cool.

85. Heard the candy corn makes great soil for these spider bushes for some reason.

Of course, despite being Halloween inspired, they still remind me of a plant you’d see in a Dr. Seuss story. Not sure why.

86. Now I wonder who these masked people clad in black are. Must be some weirdos on their way to a masquerade ball.

Now these look so creepy because they almost seem real. I swear I’ve seen pictures of people dressed like that at a Venice carnival.

87. Of course, a paper witch’s hat is always a great home for birds.

Not sure if the bird is a raven or crow. Then again, you can barely tell the real birds apart anyway. Well, unless they’re in the same picture together. In that case, the raven is bigger.

88. Hello, everyone, and please don’t mind the remains in the trash bin. I’ve been trying to get rid of them since Tuesday.

Now this is quite disgusting. Not sure what I’d think of seeing this in somebody’s yard. Still, you have to admire their use of red paint to bring out the gore.

89. For Halloween lawn decor, you might want to take a nontraditional approach with flamingos.

Well, skeleton flamingos of course. Don’t know about you but I think they’re far less tacky than the actual lawn ornaments we know and love.

90. Nothing to see here. Just a floating skeleton looking for the rest of his anatomy.

Of course, you might want to keep away from the candles. They might catch fire on something. Still, this is pretty clever.

91. Haunt your Halloween hideaway with these dark angels of death.

Now you can find these angels in any craft store. And you can paint them as dark and dead looking as you like, too.

92. Greet your Halloween party guests by gracing your front door with this tombstone wreath.

Not sure if anyone would find this dead funny. However, it might send some thinking that you’re dead crazy. Still, the wreath looks like something you’d see in a cemetery.

93. Seems like this spider really wants to create a giant web from a giant frame.

Of course, I can bet that this web was made by a tone of black yarn. Still quite cool though. However, I doubt that a spider would spin a web that big.

94. Seems like someone’s cauldron has blown right over.

Yeah, I think leaving the cauldron bubbling like that is very irresponsible. There should be at least a witch standing by here. You never know what a potion is going to do.

95. Of course, Halloween night wouldn’t be complete without a quilt like this.

Yes, this is perhaps the ultimate Halloween quilt. But if you want one, I’d recommend buying one. Quilts take a very long time to make.

96. Heard of a jack o’ lantern? The how about a jack o’ lampshade?

Now this is quite cool if you ask me. And unlike a real pumpkin you can still use it as much as you like and it won’t smell after a few weeks.

97. Hate to interrupt, but I think that plant might be watching us.

Now that's freaky. Seems like something you'd see in a mad scientist's house. A really batshit insane mad scientist with a German accent like Peter Lorre. Or Conrad Veidt.

Now that’s freaky. Seems like something you’d see in a mad scientist’s house. A batshit insane mad scientist with a German accent like Peter Lorre. Or Conrad Veidt.

98. Who knew that spiders spin their webs in picture frames?

Now this looks quite simple to make. Just get some string and a picture frame. Then again, it might be a not at easy to make a spider web as it seems.

99. Of course, when it comes to trick or treat, the candy doesn’t hang far from the tree.

Now this is cute. Just a jack o’ lantern and a small tree with treat bags. I’m sure people will love this.

100. Of course, it wouldn’t be Halloween if I didn’t include some crystal ball specimens.

Now this is freaky. Of course, in a post like this, you’re bound to have some scary and disgusting decorations here.

Spooktacular Fun with Halloween Inflatable Decorations

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 5, 2015

Now inflatable decorations are a recent phenomenon and more or less associated with Christmas. However, Halloween isn’t far behind since it’s a very popular holiday. And there are plenty of people who go way out for the holiday as well. So it’s not hard for the manufacturers to realize that there’s a market for them. Besides, many places tend to have trick or treaters so it helps that people’s homes be as Halloweeny or scary as possible. After all, when it comes to decorations, Halloween and Christmas are the two biggest occasions. Valentines and Easter you can take or leave. Still, while some decorations could be quite scary, I’m not sure what to think about inflatables on people’s yards. I mean it really doesn’t cost much to make your outdoor lawn scary to begin with. You can make a lot of scary stuff with simple materials from a craft store or old junk from home, reuse Christmas lights, carve pumpkins, and buy some other decorations at just about anywhere. I released earlier depicting exactly certain examples like someone using dresses or chicken wire for ghosts. I mean you can really get creative. But if you want a skeleton in your yard, I’d recommend that you don’t dig one up from the cemetery or a science classroom. Just buy a plastic one online or at a store. It’s just legally safer that way. Nevertheless, on the other hand, inflatable decorations are expensive, take more time to set up and take down, and are cartoonish. And let’s just say anything cartoonish is usually not scary. Still, I can show some of the better Halloween decorations. But you’d be bored to tears so I’ll show you some of the stuff that’s either tacky or doesn’t make sense. So for your reading pleasure here is an assortment of some crazy Halloween inflatables that you might see on someone’s yard.

Here we start at party central where we meet a friendly Frankenstein monster and cat.

Yes, they seem to be rather friendly hanging out together. Of course, doesn’t make either very scary. Does it?

2. Specimen 1 says, “Welcome.”

Not sure what aliens have to do with Halloween. Then again, aliens and the paranormal tend to be lumped in the same subject matter as you’d see from the History Channel. Still, seems quite friendly.

3. Looks like somebody’s mummy needs some toilet paper.

Like what the outhouse says, “Smells like someone died in there.” Guess that the mummy must’ve taken a big dump. Wait a minute, why would a mummy need to take a shit?

4. Death comes to your yard in a 3-wheeler.

Not sure about the eyeball decoration in the front. Still, at least he has a nice roof on it.

Not sure about the eyeball decoration in the front. Still, at least it’s purple, has a nice roof, and badass green and yellow flames.

5. “Happy Halloween” from the cute little owl.

Yes, it’s supposed to be an owl. I know it looks like a pumpkin with yellow wings as well as a beak, eyes, and feet. But it’s supposed to be an owl.

6. Of course, everyone must travel to the party in style like in a horse drawn hears.

And I see the coachman is a skeleton in a top hat. And the passenger is a corpse in its own casket. Looks like something startled the horse.

7. These ghosts seem to have a lot of haunted fun in their haunted tree house.

I kind of expected a haunted tree house to be more decrepit and abandoned looking. Not in red and purple. Also, seems like the tree isn’t too happy about the ghosts being around.

8. For haunting outdoors, it’s best that the scary organist bring his instrument from a horse drawn vehicle.

Of course, in real life, organs tend to take up whole rooms and can’t be carried. However, somehow this organ is compact and portable for transport.

9. On Halloween, pumpkin coach is a stylish mode of transportation.

Now this would be great for an Undead Cinderella themed ball. Think of it as Cinderella with zombies, vampires, skeletons, and other undead beings.

10. Whenever this witch goes to a party, she always has ghosts to take her there.

I guess these ghosts must wait on her hand and foot. Must suck being in the afterlife sometimes. Besides, perhaps this pampered enchantress should consider a broom.

11. Fans of The Wizard of Oz would appreciate this inflatable of the Wicked Witch of the East.

That’s just all there is. And these are meant to be placed right next to the house. Yeah, it’s supposed to look like the house smashed her during a tornado.

12. Nothing is scarier than a light up skull and neon spiders.

Now this is the kind of Halloween decoration I’d expect to see at a rave. Yeah, it’s quite freaky to say the least.

13. Oh, no, the ghost pirate ship is sinking!

Man, this would look pretty ridiculous if it was on the ground. Then again, it’s a ghost ship. So I’m not sure if it’s likely to sink at all, even if it’s full of holes.

14. Heard of Pop! Goes the Weasel? Here is Pop! Goes the Evil.

Now that clown is scary and creepy. Yes, that’s bound to give children nightmares. Or their parents.

15. Looks like Frank has some sweet new ride.

Now it seems that this hot rod’s roof is an outhouse. Wonder if he used the seat. Still, must give off a lot of gas emissions.

16. Zombie gnome is not your friend. Wants your brains.

Let’s just say if you see an undead gnome out there, stay out of that person’s garden. Yeah, undead gnomes are dangerous. And no, they can’t be killed by a stake in the neck.

17. For a big rat, you need a big trap.

I don’t know what to think about this. Seriously, I know Halloween has disgusting decorations. But still, a giant rat trap? I don’t think so.

18. Looks like Yellow is going as Frankenstein’s monster this year.

So how do they get the bolts in him like that? I mean he’s made out of chocolate. It’s not a flexible material if you get my drift.

19. Looks like the cat is containing the ghosts in the pumpkin.

I’m sure the ghosts can get out of the pumpkin just fine when they want to. However, it might freak out the cat though.

20. Hey! The cat’s gotten hold of the mummy wraps!

Yeah, the mummy isn’t too happy while the cat is grinning. Hope he has enough strength to get out of this jam without losing a limb or unraveling.

21. If you love Ghostbusters, then you’d like this Slimer inflatable.

The one in the movie was more disgusting but still gross. Still, I’m more partial to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

22. Of course, nothing brings in the spirit of Ghostbusters than an inflatable of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Yes, let all be doomed before his marshmallowy wake. You don’t want to mess with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Got to love this.

23. Remember, Frightening Fuel Services is at your service.

Of course, the most frightening thing about this service is the cost and excise tax. Still, seems to be a Halloween knock off from Cars. Like the dragon fixture on this 18 wheeler.

24. Seems like this monster is a player for the Spook University football team.

I’m sure no school in their right mind would want to go against such a team. There, every player on the team is either a beast or built like one.

25. I’m sure you’ve heard of a haunted house. But what about a haunted trailer?

The scary creatures couldn’t find an affordable home to set themselves up. And no apartment was willing to take them. So they had to settle for a trailer despite it being cramped and on land they have to pay rent to. And they’re getting hosed by the landlord at the trailer park.

26. If you can’t go on your own carriage or hearse, there’s always the haunted stagecoach.

Seems like ghouls are in the passenger section while the vampire is on the top. Love how the coffin is on the roof. Yet, a stagecoach driver must be wary around these parts.

27. Now this zombie gnome is a bit partial to arms.

Yes, he loves to munch on some tasty limbs. And he seems to have bitten a few fingers off.

28. Awww, Frankenstein and the ghosts are on a seesaw together.

Wait a minute, the ghosts shouldn’t weigh a thing. I mean Frankestein should be weigh them down. Yeah, the weight distribution shouldn’t be equal.

29. Want a haunted house in your yard? Perhaps try this inflatable for size.

I think it might just be easier and cheaper to make the front of your house look haunted. Inflatables can be quite a headache. Still, it does kind of look like a haunted Victorian mansion.

30. Frankenstein just wants to take a rest on his chopper.

Frankenstein on a chopper. Really? That’s crazy. Seriously, how could an undead monster fly something like that?

31. Guess a witch fell into the brew again.

Seems like she should know better than to dive into the witches’ brew head first. You really don’t know what the hell is in there. I mean it could be a recipe for rat poison for all you know.

32. If you think a neon spider is freaky, you should see an iridescent one.

Now this spider's but is about as illuminating as a disco ball. Yeah, more suitable for a rave. Hope its web has glittering lights.

Now this spider’s abdomen is about as illuminating as a disco ball. Yeah, more suitable for a rave. Hope its web has glittering lights.

33. Sometimes when the wraith comes around, it occasionally comes in a carriage.

Wonder how hard it’s going to be for the driver to find a place to park. Also, hope the skull doesn’t hurt matters.

34. Come right this way to hear your frightening fortunes.

Seems like Madam Skull Lady is doing Tarot card readings. Kind of wish she had a crystal ball instead. I mean that’s how I identify a fortune teller.

35. Hey, look, this clown is giving out free candy.

On second thought, I’ll take a pass at any of this evil clown’s free candy offers. Seriously, I don’t know what he’s going to do with that hammer. And I don’t even want to know either.

36. Honey, a flying saucer just crashed into our front yard! Come out and look here!

An inflatable flying saucer with inflatable dirt surrounding it. Yeah, that looks very realistic (sarcasm). The one in my lawn ornament post looked more believable.

37. Remember, if you want him to appear, you had to say his name 3 times.

Of course, it’s more or less undeniable that Beetlejuice was a better Michael Keaton performance than Birdman. Way better than Birdman, which shouldn’t have won an Oscar for Best Picture. Seriously, Academy, why couldn’t you choose Grand Budapest Hotel? It’s a great movie for God’s sake!

38. Oh, shit, this alien appears to be on the war path.

“Must kill earthlings. Must destroy evidence. Must take no prisoners.”

39. The Grimm Reaper just loves popping wheelies on his hot rod or tractor.

Yes, he really has a need for speed, doesn’t he? Still, with ghostly passengers, I’m not sure if that’s a great place to put his scythe.

40. All aboard the Haunted Express.

Funny how this train doesn’t have any passenger cars. Still, love the ghost and pumpkins. Also, like the vampire rising from his coffin in the back.

41. Forget broom flying, this wicked witch is riding a hog for the open road.

Of course, I’m sure magic will be a more effective safety measure than a helmet. But I’m not certain. Still, I don’t know if she should bring her cat along.

42. Happy Halloween from the wiener dog and owls.

And I see the dog has his dog treat bag at the ready. Still, does he have any idea that owls have talons? And that talons are sharp?

43. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you an evil snowman.

When Hell freezes over, you'll have to reckon with this guy. Still, perfect for any Nightmare Before Christmas display. Love those sharp stick arms.

When Hell freezes over, you’ll have to reckon with this guy going after you. Still, perfect for any Nightmare Before Christmas display. Love those sharp stick arms.

44. Hey, look, Elmo is carving pumpkins for Halloween.

Wait a minute, don’t those those pumpkins look a bit like Elmo’s friends? Yeah, I think so. Hope Cookie Monster and Bert don’t mind being inspirations. But it’s still pretty creepy if you think about it.

45. You are now entering the Zombie Crossing.

The human characters from The Walking Dead could’ve used signs like these. Unfortunately, they don’t know where the zombies might show up, save grave yards.

46. This pumpkin seems to be on the lookout for ghosts to munch on.

This is more or less a Halloween tribute to Pac Man. Just so you know. Still pretty funny.

47. On Halloween night, it pays to beware of the dog.

Yes, this dog is mean as you can tell from his red eyes and spiked collar. Don’t want to cross him or he’ll tear you to pieces.

48. Nothing makes your yard scary for Halloween than an inflatable of a devouring plant.

Despite its saber tooth jaws, it doesn’t look like the kind of plant that would swallow people whole. I think Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors was much scarier.

49. Oh, no, the ghosts are on fire!

Wait a minute, ghosts shouldn’t catch fire. They’re supposed to be made out of almost nothing. So why they’re screaming within the flames is beyond me. Then again, it might be just PTSD.

50. Don’t enter in, this is a crime scene investigation. A murder has been committed.

And it looks like the killer is still on the loose and is about to kill again. Still, kind of reminds me of the shower scene in Psycho from how the shadow looks.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Tag Archives: Halloween