For some reason the scariest thing about this ad to me is that chubby naked kid with the mirror. He just looks so evil under the full moon that it’s disturbing.

I’m sure the giant jack o’lantern would love kiddies stuffing giant Necco wafers into his mouth. Of course, we should all know that many Necco candies have a chemical composition similar to chalk.

Of course, this ad does shed life on witches like flying their broom under the influence and having people throw pumpkins at them. Of course, you never hear of either on Harry Potter.

Yes, there is. Necco wafers are candies made from a mixture of sugar, blackboard chalk, and food coloring. They are utterly disgusting that they are usually the last items eaten in a trick or treater’s Halloween candy. That’s not my opinion that these are facts.

Of course, Frankenstein has admitted in this ad that he has a drinking problem. So when he goes on the rampage at night, he’s not angry. He’s just going through an alcohol withdrawal because he was kicked out of a bar or the bars closed.

Of course, this ad runs like the driver doesn’t even know that it’s Halloween when kids trick or treat that time of night. Then again, trick or treaters crossing the street don’t pose as much of a danger as the drunk Halloween partier on the way home.

Available at your local witches’ coven near you. Just follow the cloud of smoke in the forest. Except if you live in California or Texas. Then you might need to call 911.

Now this just fucked up. In fact, I didn’t know the Headless Horseman had a head and wasn’t just terrorizing Icabod Crane. Seriously, do you really need an ad like this for M&Ms? If Mars wanted to advertise M&Ms for Halloween, they could just use Yellow and Red.

Is it just me or does this party scene look utterly creepy? The kids on the left seem like they’re about to do something sinister. The girl seems like casting some black magic spell on the apples. And the little girl in the corner appears that she might want to take the stool from under her.

The last Sanka ad I featured back in May depicted a rather abusive father. This one depicts a rather angry one. So is Sanka trying to say that their coffee clamps down on domestic violence? Because I think it’s a bit extreme to say so.

Cigarette ads fool no one. All they do is trick people into a very bad health habit that leads to respiratory problems, cancer, heart disease, yellow skin, and early death. And if you think that’s scary, they also cause the same problems for people who have to deal with smokers. This is why so many public places have smoking bans.

Now I know people had more kids than usual in those days. However, this fact doesn’t make an ad featuring a bunch of them in their underwear any less awkward. Also, I think the little girl in white might have murder on the mind. She seems to have no soul.

Now this would make a decent ad but Rastah had to show up and ruin it. Go away, Rastah. You’re a stereotypical racist caricature known to offend African Americans. The world doesn’t need you. Also, that girl looks as if she has no eyes.

Is it just me or is the mom seem to relish a bit too much in knife usage. “Now this is how I’ll stab the hell out your father next time I catch him with one of those drunk whores at the bar. He’ll learn his lesson.”

Actually children don’t like raisins. Nor do adults in that matter. Seriously, whenever I bite into a raisin cookie, I usually have a bad taste of disappointment that it wasn’t chocolate chip. If I knew it was a raisin cookie, I wouldn’t have eaten it in the first place.

Of course, Skinless Wieners alone incites enough shits and giggles, since it’s a product you really don’t want to Google. Not sure what to think about the Weeny Witch. That’s just ridiculous.

And I have to admit that between these two guys, the one in the mask is far less terrifying. The other one looks as if he wants to strangle you and play with your insides. Also, what’s with the arrows? Don’t see the point.

Of course, it doesn’t help for this woman that the nieghborhood’s kids are all brats. Yeah, good luck with that.

Of course, with a recommendation like that, a vampire might need to rob a blood bank once in awhile. Still, it’s not real blood. Just juice. But yeah, kind of creepy.

Once again, most people don’t like raisins, especially children. Remember what I said about raisin cookies.

I’m sure you don’t want to attract guys like these at your Halloween party. Well, Frankenstein’s monster is all right. But the vampire might stick his fangs in you, which wouldn’t be good.

Not sure if you should drink alcohol while carving a pumpkin for little Sue. Yeah, I know her dad is overseas but still. Sharp objects and alcohol don’t really mix.

Then again, if you’re sharing a toast with a 18th century ghost, you might what we call, “drunk.” The ghost might be an hallucination. Of course, it’s been said that George Washington actually drank whiskey for breakfast.

Yeah, I can totally see why ghosts would love to haunt bars. I’m sure they can appear as much as they like while patrons who’ve seen them might wonder whether they had too much to drink. Why go to haunted houses when they can mess up with drunks?

From what I’ve learned in horror movies, you really don’t want to attract mummies and werewolves (save Remus Lupin). Seriously, ladies, I know how this goes and you will not like it. I mean these women look like they’re totally asking for it.

For some reason, I don’t think Big Bird likes Ernie too much. Seems like Big Bird has a seething hatred for him that he wants to murder him in his sleep.

And I thought that the pumpkin spice craze was new thing. Turns out I was wrong. Seriously, pumpkin flavored vodka? That’s ridiculous.

From Waylou: “Something about this whole scene makes me think of Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’ and the scene when the Joker finds out what the chemical plant accident turned him into.”

Yeah, sweet stalkin’ really? Is this because it’s a stalk munching? Or is it because the one dressed as a stalk is watching the object of their desires get in the shower. If the latter, there might be prison time.

Of course, if you were that woman, you’d freak out, too, if you looked in the mirror and saw a ghost with an outhouse. In fact, anyone would. Except maybe old people who might musingly think of their childhoods.

If you don’t understand why some people are afraid of clowns, you need to see this. Seriously, that clown is just simply terrifying if you ask me.

Boy, that kid’s costume is so creepy. I think the guy should at least not take a picture. Yeah, that might not be a good idea.

“Guess we should get these cigars for all the neighbors next year, assuming that all of them don’t die of lung cancer first.” Seriously, tobacco products kill 1 out of 3 users a year.

Is it just me or does the Morton Salt girl seem to scare the freaking bejesus out of me in this? Seriously, that girl looks so creepy.

I don’t think having children flying brooms unsupervised is my idea of aviation safety, let alone in their underwear. Also, I don’t think kids typically hang out in their underwear anyway.

Is it just me or does this little blond boy look really menacing with a mustache and goatee? He just looks incredibly evil with his grin for some reason. I don’t know.

Seems like this kid is desperate for candy that he’ll eat basically anything. Seriously, Brach’s makes candy corn which is made from food coloring, sugar, and wax. It’s disgusting. Also, I have a bad feeling about that kid.

From PopSugar: “Look, mother! Doesn’t this huge bowl of trans fat look delicious?” I think the Crisco is used for greasing pans while baking. Not food. For God’s sake, lady, get a clue.

Is this just me or does this woman not seem altogether there? Yeah, I’m sure if her boyfriend cheats on her, she’ll probably slit his throat in the dead of night and chop it off into a bunch of tiny bits she’ll feed to the sharks.

Because nothing makes you look more fabulous in a skin tight leotard than a major contributor to obesity and Type II Diabetes. Yeah, because nothing helps you lose weight faster than a bunch of empty calories (sarcasm).

Actually I think waking up next to a pumpkin headed woman might freak out a man more than halitosis. Seriously, would you want to be married to the Headless Horseman? Neither would I.

From PopSugar: “Oh hey, I’m just using a sharp knife to carve a pumpkin in my underwear.” Seriously, who the hell carves pumpkins in their underwear? That’s crazy! I mean why?

Well, at least the jack o’lantern knows that smoking is bad for you. But still, the medical claims about smoking being bad for your health, they’re pretty legit. Seriously, cigarettes kill people all the time.

From Waylou: “Even though we should be focusing on the uplifting Coca Cola message here, the way the couple in the ad look suggests something “dirty” is going on while shooting this one.” Also, I don’t think she looks “relaxing” to me, given the guy’s creepy smile.

Okay, I guess the Great Pumpkin cared more about supporting Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew than showing up for Linus in the pumpkin patch. Seriously, Great Pumpkin, can’t you just show up for Linus for once on Halloween? He really believes in you despite being constantly disappointed by your absence. Don’t break his heart.

God, are those kids dressed up as Ted Nugent freak or what? And that’s when he was considerably less scary than he is now. Seriously, the guy’s on Fox News and is a total gun nut. Really don’t want to go to any of his concerts.

Hey, who knew that sexy Halloween costumes were a new thing? Seriously, this lady puts today’s slutty witch to shame. Then again, I may be wrong.

Actually, children hate Brach’s Candy. This is particularly because they sell candy corn, you know inedible Halloween sugar wax. Also the kid in the cat costume gives me the creeps.

Okay, this looks really disgusting. You know, like the kind of stuff you dog vomits after being freaked out by a ghost. Yeah that.

And by “candy” we don’t mean a sexy witch on a broom. She’s just posing on this ad to appeal to a male demographic. If you want candy like her, go to a strip club.

And this little witch is currently plotting to put her parents into a hot brick oven. Yes, she’s about as evil incarnate as they come.

Basically this company is saying: “Go ahead, use our product for your Halloween ghost costumes. We don’t care if you ruin it.” Something tells me this company was desperate for buyers that year.

Seems that kid really has other things on his mind than just taking pictures. Then again, to him it’s an alternative to murder.

Of course, after these kids are done with their waffles, they plan to kill their parents, put them through a wood chipper, and throw their remains in the river. Of course, the real Dionne quints were exploited by their publicity seeking parents by the way.

You’d almost think with all the vampire references here, this one was catering to Count von Count. Of course, the Count should’ve been used in this ad anyway. But the vampire seems to show no interest in the blond just the same.

Go ahead. Eating your hat would be much better for your health than smoking a Lucky Strike or any cigarette for that matter. At least eating a hat won’t increase your child’s chances of suffering an early death from lung cancer.

For some reason, jack o’lanterns can be such perverts. One is even looking up that woman’s skirt. Yeah, kind of disturbing if you think about it.

These were real girls by the way. But by how they’re drawn, I wouldn’t trust them with a sharp carving knife if I were their parents. I’d be afraid of them killing me in my sleep.

I’ll keep that in mind, clown of my nightmares. Seriously, that clown looks as though he wants you to buy these candies so he can murder trick or treaters during the night.

Is it just me, or is this little Frankenstein even creepier without the mask. Yeah, I’m sure a small box of cereal will keep this boy from murdering your cat or setting your house on fire. Not.

You mean the carmelized popcorn that contains a lousy sticker prize in the box. Yeah, I’m sure (sarcasm). Still, if it keeps the demonic children away the rest of the night, then I have no complaints.

Of course, remember don’t tell Boris Karloff that he looks like Boris Karloff when he’s in Jonathan Brewster mode (his character in Arsenic and Old Lace hated being compared to Karloff so much that he killed people over it). Of course, he did originate the role of Jonathan Brewster on Broadway but he wasn’t available for the movie. So Canadian Raymond Massey was cast in his role instead.

Of course, sex sells as we know in advertising. Even when it comes to unsexy things like computer and office products. Still, I think Elvira would’ve made a less ridiculous ad if she appeared one featuring a chainsaw.

However, they also allow trick or treaters’ costumes to appear more visible at night. Sometimes scaring the hell out of the neighbors.

And it looks like this guy will probably have to make a run for the store after he’s done with this trick or treater. He might also need to get some outdoor cleaning supplies and air freshener as well.

I don’t know about you, but I’m wondering whether the little blond boy might be a spawn of Satan. I mean look at him. Never mind that he’s trying to get a jack o’lantern to drink pop.

Of course, Herman Munster isn’t himself when he’s hungry. Believe me, I saw The Munster’s Thanksgiving episode when he tried to go on a diet. And he basically broke into a neighbor’s house eating everything.

From PopSugar: “When was the last time you saw a modern ad with a woman eating cheese and drinking beer? This ad says to me: hey, it’s OK to enjoy the finer and fattier things in life every once in a while!”

From PopSugar: “When you drink Bud all night, you won’t even need a mask to have a creepy drunk face!” Exactly. After all, your drunk face is probably much scarier. Or will be when it becomes a hangover face.

From PopSugar: “Whipped cream: the perfect way to have your kids bouncing off the walls and sticking their heads in pumpkins.” Wonder how that kid’s going to get his head out of this one. Yeah, I think he might need to wait. Mummy’s baking and must not be disturbed.