The Floral World of Flower Arrangements

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 23, 2017

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As we all know, spring is always a time of flowers. Even though the flowers may not be out at this point since it’s late March. Nevertheless, as you see from my Easter posts, flowers always signal spring since it’s a time when everything becomes green again. Yet, while flowers are symbols of spring, they’re used for all kinds of occasions. A man may give flowers to his sweetheart on a date to express his love. A person may give flowers to any other woman in their lives or an actor for a great performance. You might see flowers in a bridal bouquet and at a wedding. Or you might find flowers at a funeral. Sometimes you might see flowers as mere decoration which don’t have anything to do with a celebration at all. Think of garden flowers in a vase on a table. Yet, no matter what the occasion may be, you’re bound to see flowers arranged in a variety of different ways and bouquets. Some may just be a vase of flowers while some could be in the realm of art. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of floral arrangements to bring in the spring.

For gifts, may I suggest a puppy in a basket?

There’s a company that does flower puppies according to Pinterest. But I have to admit, it’s better than giving the real thing.

2. When you open a book, you’ll find beautiful things inside.

Love how the roses pour out and spill. Though I guess this book isn’t for reading.

3. These yellow and orange flowers will have you over the moon.

Well, it’s supposed to be shaped like a crescent moon. But you can see how it has 2 types of flowers.

4. You’d almost swear these flowers came from another world.

I think this is part of an art museum exhibit. Yes, they do these with flowers. But I think most of these are artificial blooms.

5. Since people love flowers and teddy bears, how about a flowery teddy bear?

Sure you may not be able to cuddle it. But it will nevertheless melt your heart.

6. I think I see a lion among these carnations.

Well, that’s an interesting floral display. Like the little lion face. So adorable.

7. Who knows how many flowers you can fit in a box.

I’ve seen a lot of these on Pinterest. Not sure if the flowers are real or not. But it’s nevertheless beautiful.

8. A heart of flowers is always for the one worth remembering.

This heart flower arrangement is mainly for funerals. But you have to admire the roses.

9. Flowers always go well with a grassy hairdo.

Though I wouldn’t want to show up in that. By the way, it’s more for decoration anyway.

10. Nothing could welcome spring like a flowery dress.

Of course, this is a dress you don’t wear. Kind like the ones I showed in my Christmas craft posts.

11. A purple flower bouquet can do with some peacock feathers.

This is a bridal bouquet as you notice. But the peacock feathers give a nice feathery touch.

12. Sometimes all you need is a simple spring bouquet.

Still, someone better put these in water before they start dying off. Since flowers don’t last long this way.

13. These flowers represent truth, justice, and the American way.

However, they’re very terrible to give to anyone whose town has been destroyed by superheroes. Just watch Man of Steel.

14. As we all know, spring is a time for flowers and butterflies.

And here we come to a butterfly made from flowers. What can be better than that?

15. Don’t know about you, but this dress is especially succulent.

Well, it’s made from succulent plants, anyway. Not really flowery. But not bad.

16. A flowery dog always sits pretty.

Here is another dog of flowers. This one is bigger and sits down though.

17. White flowers make for a rather resplendent dress.

Guess this is for a wedding from what I can tell. Why a floral decoration like this, I have no idea.

18. Now that’s what I call a floral chair cushion.

But it’s best not to sit on it. Since flowers are delicate and can be easily smushed.

19. Pink and red roses make 2 halves of a heart.

What a unique bouquet to send to your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, that was last month. Still, it’s lovely.

20. A spring flower wreath can give you all the colors of the rainbow.

Nice that it’s among lit candles. Really like the effect. Love how the colors run into each other.

21. There’s nothing stunning like a flower chandelier with lit candles.

Remember just because it might look great on Pinterest, doesn’t mean you should try it. And it certainly applies with this because lit candles are a fire hazard.

22. A heart of roses always shows love even in the spring.

Yes, you might see some wreaths which frequently use flowers. But this one is absolutely beautiful.

23. A flowery dress is a perfect springtime look for the season.

Actually flowery dresses are worn by fashion models and aren’t practical at all. But they’re certainly pretty.

24. A moss picture can use a few roses.

This one has 3 red roses that stand out from the foliage. Though I wish you can see more flowers though.

25. An old birdhouse without a roof is just as good for a flower box.

Well, that’s a clever way of storing flowers. And I do love how it emanates the springtime atmosphere, too.

26. Purple mountain majesties should always be put with amber waves of grain.

Of course, by “purple mountain majesties” I mean these beauties. So pretty.

27. It’s not every day you see a woman in a flowery white dress.

Another concept flower dress you probably can’t wear. But it’s nice to look at anyway.

28. A floral heart should have plenty of color.

Though it’s mostly in the pink. However, it’s a lovely springtime sight to me.

29. Sometimes flowers can imitate a masterpiece.

As you can see this flower sculpture is meant to imitate this painting. Though I’m not sure if it does a good job.

30. Flowers will bloom on any showy fan.

Helps if the fan is so large it calls for both hands. Still, such a beautiful display.

31. I see a floral storm coming in our midst.

Caption: “Annika Horgan won Gold with her entry in the floral art section at Ellerslie International Flower Show, the only gold medal winner.” Yes, they have flower shows like this. And yes, this is sensational.

32. How about sending some lilies of the valley from this envelope?

On the other hand, if you’re a fan of Breaking Bad, you might see this a lot differently. Because they’re poisonous.

33. White flowers always make for fine columns.

Though if the Ancient Greeks and Romans had these, you wouldn’t know it. Because they didn’t have plastic and organic matter disintegrates quickly.

34. You can’t find anything more chic than a mossy handbag.

However, the only thing that should go in here is water. If it’s even made by plants at all. Though I love the purple ribbon.

35. Always try to enhance a flowery look during the spring.

Actually, this is a fashion photo so I don’t encourage this. But you have to like her skirt.

36. Hope you want your purse to be carnation white.

I guess this might be either for a wedding or a funeral. Not sure which. But it’s very chic.

37. A bouquet should contain a wide range of colors.

This one contains all your spring favorites and then some. And in a unique bouquet design.

38. This floral parasol will give you a lot of cover.

Though it might not do much to keep you dry in the rain. Nevertheless, it’s incredibly beautiful.

39. A floral elephant is always talked about in the room.

I think this might be from India for a wedding. Or maybe it’s for a flower show. Not sure which.

40. You can always wonder at seeing flowers from the ceiling.

Well, it’s an interesting hanging of peonies. But at least it doesn’t include candles.

41. An urn can make a viable vase from time to time.

I suppose the bouquet is far more festive than its container. Love the flowers on these.

42. Take a look at this floral creature from under the sea.

A floral fish? Now that’s interesting. Not sure about the colors though.

43. A flower skirt should have a dazzling array of variety and color.

Yet, the white flower top isn’t so much to look at. Still, the purple flowers are the best.

44. This floral butterfly is a vibrant sight to see.

You can see how its wings have bright flowers with lilies on the ends. Love it.

45. A leafy heart can have a few white flowers to spare.

This looks simple but nonetheless elegant. So pretty, yet so naturalistic.

46. I suppose this bouquet is ready to rock.

Can guess that this is for a funeral. And it’s not hooked up to anything. So you can’t really play it.

47. Floral archways should come dripping with jewels.

By the way, this is a wedding archway. Yet, it’s a very showy display. Love how it’s purple.

48. This floral cross is one of holy remembrance.

You’d probably see something like this at funerals. But I had to put this on for the roses.

49. A showy pink dress is always perfect for spring.

Though you wouldn’t be able to wear it. Yet, you can admire the flowery skirt and top.

50. Allow this wise little owl to congratulate you on your graduation.

Yes, they have graduation flowers, too. But this cute little owl is a real hoot.

51. The gate of heaven is paved with flowers divine.

Well, at least it’s more unique than a cross display. Love the roses.

52. I guess this flower ship is smooth sailing.

Hey, at least it’s better to have than a real wooden ship. And it’s just as majestic.

53. With this Easter basket, you can welcome the sights of spring.

Not sure if the flowers are real on this one. But you have to admire the spring flowers. So lovely.

54. A floral swan is a creature of graceful beauty.

Yes, this is absolutely stunning. But remember, piss off a swan, you’ll live to regret it.

55. Roses and cantililies always show how love is stronger than death.

Helps that it’s all arranged in a heart. Though it’s likely to be on someone’s grave or in a funeral home.

56. In the springtime, you can have all kinds of flowers raining upon you.

This is part of a museum display since it wouldn’t be possible outdoors. But I think any florist would go crazy over it.

57. Want lovelier spring flowers? Put some in a bucket of water.

Though this one includes a candle. And many seem straight from the garden or on the roadsides.

58. You can fit an entire bouquet in one large mug.

As long as the mug is specially made as far as I know. Yet, it’s perfect for the spring time.

59. Bet you don’t see a flower display like this every day.

Well, it’s made like a spring time tree. Though it’s interesting to look at, whether it’s beautiful may be a matter of taste.

60. A flower box contains its own earthly paradise.

Well, it’s more of a crate. But it surely gives you a rustic impression, especially with the flowers.

61. This flower sculpture is as pretty as a picture.

As you can see, it’s a museum display made to embody the painting behind it. Nevertheless, it’s lovely and perfect.

62. Some bouquets tend to have a rather modernist edge.

You might find some of these on Pinterest. Really don’t know what to make of them.

63. It takes a lot of colors in order to paint a pretty picture.

But in this case, it took a garden of flowers to make this painting. Love it.

64. Black flowers certainly make a stunning black purse.

Though there aren’t a lot of black flowers in nature though. Nevertheless, you can’t resist its beauty.

65. Would you want 2 scoops or 2 light pink peonies?

You probably can’t eat these. But you can admire them from a distance if you want to.

66. A golden urn is a great vase for a vibrant display.

Great for table centerpieces or decoration. Love the vibrant flowers on this. Beautiful.

67. You can’t wear a golden crown without roses.

Sure this is a model wearing flowers. But it’s supremely stunning to behold.

68. Seems like she’s taking the flowers in her hair thing a bit overboard.

Yes, flower headdresses aren’t practical but lovely just the same. Though I’m sure these flowers aren’t real at all.

69. Flowers should always stand out from any work of art.

And yet another flower display with a painting. Not sure how it configures. But the flower look is better.

70. A floral star always shines bright among petals.

This one has white in the background along with some multicolor flowers in the center. All in all, it’s simply stunning.

71. You’d almost think it was anything different from a landscape.

That’s because it’s supposed to be a take off from a landscape painting. But it requires a stem for the flowers at the higher plane.

72. Purple carnations usually go on the vase’s edge.

Yes, it’s another concept art bouquet. But this one is somewhat prettier than the last. But not by much.

73. Purple orchids, a flowery headdress they do make.

Well, at least they used a mannequin head. And I do find the purple orchids particularly magnificent to behold in my eyes.

74. Nothing makes a canopy like a curtain of purple flowers.

I guess this is for a wedding though I think it’s incredibly beautiful. Of course, purple is my favorite color as you can see.

75. There is nothing as magnificent in the spring like a vibrant floral rug.

This is from the flower festival in Antwerp, Belgium. But I’m sure it took more flowers than you’d find on a float at the Rose Bowl parade.

76. For a better bouquet, add a few feathers.

However, the feathers might get in some people’s way. Though you can’t deny the effects.

77. How about a few roses in your umbrella?

Love how they match the purple cover. Though I wouldn’t take it out in the rain.

78. Vibrant flowers can always make vibrant bouquets.

This is the Japanese ikebana style of flower arranging. You don’t hear about it a lot. But it’s rather well known outside Japan.

79. Sometimes you’ll come to a flower sculpture of the geometric variety.

Guess this is a take off of an ultra-modern painting. Though it has fine definition.

80. Bet you never had flowers in a frame like this.

I know you might not understand this form of floral art. But neither do I. Yet, somehow this museum likes it.

81. A flower display like this reminds you of a fresh spring garden.

Wonder what they used to achieve an effect like this. Nevertheless, the mechanics aren’t always as glamorous as the result.

82. Nothing shows love like a heart made from roses.

Sure the roses may not be real. But you have to love how it makes it look like a flowery chocolate box.

83. Nobody could ever resist this little floral panda bear.

After all, everyone loves Panda Bears and flowers. So why not combine the two? So cute.

84. A dress like this will make one look like a real wildflower.

Once again, you probably wouldn’t want to wear a flower dress. But it’s nevertheless lovely to look at.

85. This floral butterfly can always make your day.

Butterflies are always pretty, especially in the floral variety. Love the wings.

86. How about some flowers in your tea?

Actually they’re in a teapot and teacups. So you can’t get much tea from these.

87. Now I think this flower woman is a real grande dame.

If it weren’t for the green body, she’d almost be an exact likeness to the painting behind her. Like the stick hair.

88. As we all know, the flowers should go beneath the candles.

Well, at least they’re not beside the candles. But such display is great for a romantic dinner in the spring.

89. An artist’s pallet should always contain a lot of colors.

Each paint slot has flowers from a different color ranging from red to white. Black, pink, and brown not included.

90. The roses should always be in front of the golden fan.

Though there aren’t a lot of them on here. But that’s okay. Sometimes less is more.

91. How about you come sit right down on this floral chair?

On second thought, that’s probably not a good idea. But it’s still a nice piece of furniture.

92. A dove in flowers is a sign of peace.

After all, white doves are peaceful birds that shit everywhere. Too bad it doesn’t have an olive branch. Oh, wait, it does.

93. You’d almost think this bouquet has leafy wings.

This is another Ikebana piece. Though it consists of less flowers and more bamboo leaves.

94. There is no more beautiful sight than a floral peacock.

You might see these a lot at Indian weddings. After all, peacocks are from there. At least the Indian peacock we’re familiar with.

95. A showy bouquet makes a grand impression.

This is said to be for a more autumn wedding as you can tell by the colors. Yet, as we know, in autumn the flowers usually die.

96. When you see floral concept art, it doesn’t get stranger than this.

Helps that this one consists of pink flowers, too. Though it looks kind of strange.

97. Leaves and white flowers make a rather snazzy handbag.

Though don’t expect to put anything in this. Because it’s for display purposes only.

98. A long flower dress should have a festive variety of color.

As you can see, this one fits the bill perfectly. The flowers on here come in all colors, shapes, sizes, and kinds.

99. This heart wreath is as lovely as nature intended.

Helps that it’s laid out in the snow for all to see. Love the flowers.

100. Once in awhile, a flower display needs a very good frame.

This one has some flowers in the frame. But the ones on the bottom are more stunning.

The Springtime World of Miniature Easter Gardens

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 19, 2017

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With Easter, spring is in the air as flowers like daffodils, tulips, and crocuses start blooming from their winter slumber. So it’s only natural that we have flowers and gardens galore. This is especially the case when you’re talking about a smaller capacity when you’re talking about miniature gardens since you don’t need to keep them outdoors. Not to mention, there are plenty of Easter mini garden stuff available. Nevertheless, mini Easter gardens can come in all different kinds of varieties. One notably common variation is a Resurrection garden which is sort of a tradition in Great Britain since I’ve seen plenty of them in English churches (since the Brits are really into gardening). Now a Resurrection garden is called thus because it features an empty tomb indicating that Jesus has risen from the dead. Since the empty tomb can just involve a small flower pot with rocks at the front or a stone turned, it’s relatively easy mini garden to do. You can also do a garden in an Easter basket as well. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a snapshot into a treasury of mini Easter garden scenes.

A natural Easter basket is sometimes best.

This one has a nice little spring flower scene with a nest of eggs and a bunny statue. So lovely.

2. As we see here, Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God.

Jesus’s cross contains the crown of thorns and a white sash. And the crosses are made from twigs.

3. Always go with a couple Easter eggs in a vibrant grotto.

Because that’s the only way I can tell this is an Easter garden. Though I like the statue and columns.

4. Even the fairies wish you a happy Easter.

They also even like to hang out with little bunnies in baskets. Like the flowery trees.

5. I suppose a moss covered tomb would be more appropriate.

Though I normally don’t imagine it as such since the Holy Land is more or less depicted as a desert. Then again, you have to admire the flowers.

6. How about some flowers among the gravel church path?

Helps if the church is small and in a Tudor style. Makes a quaint garden scene if you’ve ever seen one.

7. Doesn’t hurt to plant a few flowers near the empty tomb.

These empty tomb gardens can range from plain to quite elaborate. But I had to include this one with the flowers.

8. Sometimes moss and rocks are all you need.

Because an empty tomb garden doesn’t require much as far as aesthetics go. Also, you can make crosses with just about any stick you find.

9. Pink and purple flowers have a real spring touch.

Yes, it’s another empty tomb garden. But at least this one has pink and purple flowers. You’ll see a lot of these though.

10. “And they brought him to a place called Golgotha (which means the place of the skull).”

Okay, this is a rather morbid rendition with including a skull. But it’s at least accurate in etymology.

11. An empty tomb scene can always do with a few flowers.

This one has a wood chip path from the crosses to the tomb. Though you’d find a few flower patches.

12. These little lambs love to play among the flowers.

After all, lambs are innocent creatures that Moses demanded to be slaughtered so Hebrew families wouldn’t succumb to the plague of the Firstborn son. And that’s how we get Passover.

13. For Easter, you might want to let some bunnies near your caravan.

Well, Easter bunnies, anyway. Though make sure they’re not some human figures in bunny costumes.

14. “He is not here. He is risen.”

As you can see, they even have Resurrection figurines. Though I wouldn’t say they’re necessary.

15. Sometimes a garden more close to nature comes to mind.

This one appears to be set in a plot at some church. But you can see the moss and flowers nonetheless.

16. For Easter scenes, adding some Easter eggs always helps.

Because nothing says Easter like colored eggs. Also helps if you include bunnies and chicks.

17. A bare Easter tree can always use a few ornaments.

Yet, this one has bunnies instead of Easter eggs as would be the case. Like the flowers and butterfly though.

18. For an empty tomb garden, all you need is a hillside plot.

Though most usually use a flower pot and rocks for the empty tomb. But at least it includes planted flowers.

19. When in doubt, you can always try a nature scene.

This one is taken from a show on the Hallmark Channel. I know that network is famous for its saccharine programming but at least this garden is pretty.

20. Apparently, you’ll find the risen Jesus in this garden.

I don’t know about you. But I kind of like it better when resurrection gardens don’t include action figures.

21. Now this is what I call a real Easter free for all.

This one even has a lit candle, which I’d advise against. However, this is as Easter as it gets without the Christian motifs.

22. Sometimes resurrection scenes are better with peg dolls.

Though I’d advise against it. I think a tomb scene with flowers is sufficient enough.

23. An empty tomb can conveniently fit in an Easter basket.

Not sure if the plants are real. But it seems easy enough to do.

24. An Easter garden can always start small.

These are of mini Easter baskets, by the way. Yet, each has a flower and cute critter to love.

25. An Easter garden can’t go without a few spring touches.

Here you come to an assortment of spring decor that’s expensive as hell. All surrounding a glass stone lake.

26. These little chickies find a haven among flowers.

I think this might be from a basket. Though the chicks and the chocolate eggs give it an Easter touch.

27. With church gardens, you can never have enough plants.

A lot of British churches have these gardens around Easter which can get very elaborate. This one really takes the cake.

28. Spring is a time of new life and new beginnings.

Here we have a lamb and bunny watching some chicks hatch in a nest. So adorable.

29. For English gardens, flowers are all planted in neat and ordered rows.

Not sure if the flowers are real in this. But it nonetheless looks quite stunning to behold.

30. With this garden, it’s Easter eggs galore.

Of course, most of the Easter eggs should be hidden for the kids in the trees. But the ground’s just fine with me.

31. An Easter garden should remind one of an earthly paradise.

Here’s an empty tomb garden with all kinds of flowers in a church. Not sure about the figures here though.

32. A resurrection garden should always be brimming with spring flowers.

As you may see, you can customize a lot of these empty tomb gardens. Yet, the flowers on this one are simply breathtaking.

33. A resurrection garden must lead to much rejoicing.

This one is from a church. And yes, the flowers here certainly bring a smile on your face.

34. A small flower pot makes an ideal empty tomb.

Outside the empty tomb gardens, I found a lot of Easter mini gardens hard to find. So sometimes you have to go with what you can get.

35. If you think flowers are boring, you can always add animals.

Though I don’t think giraffes, tigers, and hippos are native to the Middle East. But to each his own.

36. For outdoor mini gardens, it helps to make a big impression.

This one is from outside a church. And yes, it features an empty tomb of rocks. Love it.

37. Rejoice, for He has risen!

And yet, another resurrection reenactment with peg dolls. Though I think it would be better if we didn’t include Jesus here.

38. For bunnies, Easter is a time of family togetherness.

Still, even in their anthropomorphic outfits, I’d expect there be more bunny family members. Then again, some of them might’ve been eaten already.

39. Nothing says Easter like planting flowers in eggshells.

Not sure how this arrangement can be done. But it seems possible. So pretty.

40. Even Easter bunnies head to church on Easter Sunday.

Well, when you don’t have an empty tomb, a church would do. Though I kind of wish there was a resurrection scene with bunny figures. That would be awesome.

41. Here we come to a fairy near the bunny bench.

Not sure if I’d want to do that. Because bunnies will attack when disturbed.

42. Didn’t know a bunny can live in toadstool house.

Under a toadstool maybe. But inside one, not a chance. Though it’s quite clever.

43. Here we come to 2 bunnies lounging on the patio.

Yet, they somewhat feel drawn to a basket of eggs in an ornate wheelbarrow. Simple yet sublime.

44. These little bunnies just want to enjoy the peaceful meadow.

You can tell this is an Easter garden because it features a cross along with the bunnies. Yet, it’s so adorable.

45. On Easter, I’m sure that Christ will light the way.

You may find candles in these gardens as well. Though I’d advise you to proceed with caution.

46. Perhaps you can spare a dime for a few rabbits.

Because bunnies need to make a living, too. Like the purple flowers though.

47. The Easter Bunny should find this fountain most welcoming.

Might’ve shown this garden before in other mini garden posts. But not with the Easter decorations.

48. In this Easter garden, you’ll find all kinds of eggs.

Even includes a bench with bunnies on it. Though you’d have an easy time finding these eggs in this garden.

49. Sometimes all you need are a couple of Easter bunnies.

This one just uses 2 little bunnies and moss. Adorable, yet so simple.

50. Flowers always mean that the resurrection is upon us.

Kind of makes a great contrast between the solemn Good Friday and the invigorating Easter. Love it.

51. For a resurrection garden, you might want to plant it inside the altar.

Well, that’s a clever way of doing it. The altar makes a nice backdrop. But wonder when they’ll have to clean up once Pentacost is over.

52. Not sure where I can find the tomb on this one.

Though I do admire the flowers and the moss hill of crosses. Then again, maybe we’re not suppose to see the empty tomb on this.

53. Little chicks always belong among the daffodils.

To these chickies, the daffodils almost resemble trees. So cute.

54. For a small patch, an Easter bunny can feel right at home.

You can even put in a few eggs and a bunny statue. Now that’s an Easter garden basket.

55. For Easter, you can’t ask for a more colorful scene like this.

This one includes an Easter house and an Easter egg bridge. But I’m sure the decor doesn’t come cheap.

56. Chicks always like being among the flowers.

Well, they include flowers I’d find at my grandma’s house. But the chickies are simply adorable.

57. With an Easter garden, it helps if you can go all out.

This one is from a Scottish hotel. But I love how it features an Easter egg tree.

58. A resurrection garden should always be outside for all to see.

This one may not have much color. But then again, maybe Easter came early that year.

59. Seems like we’ve come to an Easter garden party.

Perhaps in a forest with cotton candy trees. Though I’m not sure if this uses any real plants.

60. Sometimes there’s nothing like spending Easter on the farm.

This one is part of a set but at least it’s brightly colored and includes bunnies. So cute.

61. You can’t celebrate Easter without including some flowers and butterflies.

This one really gets in the spring of things. Love the beautiful colors.

62. Make sure your empty tomb garden has plenty of moss.

This one doesn’t use a lot. But the stone is certainly turned as it should be.

63. Remember you don’t need crosses to make an empty tomb garden.

After all, they didn’t say Jesus was buried beneath Calvary. Though this resembles more of a hobbit hole.

64. My guess is that you’ll find nothing behind the stone.

As you probably know by now, there’s nothing inside. For Jesus has risen.

65. On some Easter gardens, it’s all about the foliage.

This one has a lot of moss and other plants. But the crosses are of solid wood.

66. For a pond scene, it helps to surround a pool with stones.

Well, at least this one has flowers and succulents. Though this empty tomb garden thing is getting old.

67. An Easter mini garden can never have too many daisies.

This one has a rather sunny disposition. Like the rabbit climbing out of a pot.

68. A large rock can serve as an appropriate tomb.

Helps if it’s hollowed through first. Though at least the rocks match.

69. A fairy garden with Easter eggs and chicks can spring into anything.

Well, this is more of a spring garden than an Easter one. But the chickies and colored eggs are here, anyway.

70. A pixie fairy garden has a pair of pastel houses.

Well, at least it includes bunny on the side. Though the one on the right should’ve had a different color.

71. Leafy plants can really make the garden come alive.

This one uses a square tomb. And the crosses seem rather level for some reason. Doesn’t use too many flowers.

72. As far as I know, this Easter garden is of the zen variety.

Not sure if zen Easter gardens even exist. If they do, this is what they’d look like.

73. I’m sure a carrot house is appropriate rabbit housing.

However, some rabbits might find it hard to resist. Nevertheless, think it’s quite clever.

74. A spring fairy garden must have its own array of flowers.

This one even has its own evergreen tree. Not sure why that’s there. Love the flowers.

75. Sometimes you can make a tomb with just a couple of rocks.

Well, that’s one way of putting it. Still, I doubt the stone is hollow for the emptiness effect.

76. A carrot house is a cozy bunny home, especially on Easter.

This is a cute little Easter garden. Like the little flowers. Think that carrot house is clever.

77. A fairy garden in the spring should be of vibrant color.

Well, this will make a fine Easter garden. Like the little house and stone work.

78. Animals flock to any fairy house.

Well, statue animals anyway. Like the gravel pond of ducks.

79. A spring garden is always meant for the birds.

This is especially if it has a moss roof. Nevertheless, the bluebirds stand out.

80. With these 3 fairy basket gardens, you can make Easter magic.

Okay, maybe they’re not exactly Easter gardens per se. But if you’re no fan of chicks or bunnies, they’ll surely do.

The Pastel World of Easter Village Houses

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 17, 2017

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You may have noticed that my Easter posts so far have mostly been later editions of ones I’ve written in years past. Nevertheless, I also like to do Easter posts of items that I haven’t tried before. Village houses would be among them because I already did 2 of Christmas and one of Halloween. Yet, though Easter isn’t nearly as popular as either, it’s up there even if John Oliver calls it, “shitty Christmas” which may be borderline offensive but nonetheless accurate as far as commercialism is concerned. Though as far as my blog is concerned, I have little complaint since it gives me plenty of material. Anyway, the notion of Easter village houses is part of a phenomenon, I like to call Christmasfication, a word that might be my own invention. Now Christmasfication is what happens when one holiday’s tradition becomes part of another’s. Easter has been very much a product of this since it’s a religious holiday subject to a lot of commercialization since there are gifts involved bestowed by a mythical gift giver. However, it’s not to the extend Christmas is and has a greater focus on candy. Nevertheless, Christmasifcation doesn’t always have to involve integrating Christmas traditions, but it often does. Yet, with village houses, it kind of makes sense even on Easter. After all, pastel colors and cute critters are perfect for any spring towns. So for your reading pleasure I give you a treasure trove of pastel and springy Easter village houses.

A spring house brings joyous Easter greetings.

This one has some imagery from vintage cards and silk flowers. Gives one a spring time feel.

2. A pastel house can use a white picket fence.

Doesn’t hurt it has a glittery base as well as a tree with Easter eggs. Like the flowers on the roof.

3. Cottontails Candy is always the place for sweets.

Not a big fan of light green and yellow together. But at least the name is clever.

4. A pink church with spring decorations always has the Easter spirit.

Though you wouldn’t see such a display until after Good Friday. Mostly because Lent is a penitential season.

5. Perhaps some greenery can suit your fancy.

Helps if you decorate the trees with Easter eggs. Though I’m not sure about the light pastel colors on this one.

6. Two chicks are often better than one.

Let me guess, the chickies are made from pom poms. Still, this is quaint.

7. A small gazebo doesn’t hurt.

Be sure to include different colored bunnies. Like how they included Easter eggs on this.

8. A yellow glitter house should always have a heart.

I often use putz houses because they look less manufactured. This is no exception. Like the bunny.

9. An Easter village always looks magnificent under a bauble egg wreath.

After all, pastel houses look great on a mantle meant to extenuate spring. Love the flowers.

10. Here we come to a simple white church with a pink roof and lamb.

Like I said, churches usually don’t bask in the Easter decorations until after Good Friday. But they do in these village sets in order to set an Easter feel.

11. The more color tiles the house has, the better.

You can also put an Easter egg in the doorway. Though I wouldn’t advise a green and yellow one.

12. A house of lavender is particularly springy for chicks.

This one seems all dolled up for Easter. Like the wreath at the top window.

13. How about a peep bunny above the front door?

Adding a flower to its ear and a yellow bow helps a lot. So cute.

14. A small pink church is always nice.

Helps if it glitters in the spring morning light. Though not sure about the roof.

15. A plaid yellow roof can sometimes be quite snazzy.

Okay, that’s pretty tacky. But at least it brings spring into the air.

16. It’s not spring without a little pink.

Yes, it might seem a bit feminine and sickeningly sweet. but at least it’s well made with some bunnies to spare.

17. Never saw an Easter egg fence before.

Though I don’t care for the house much. However, the fence is a rather unique idea.

18. An Easter church always has to stand out.

Each one has their own unique decorations. Some are more showy than others. Like the purple ones.

19. There’s nothing against having a fancy roof.

This canary yellow Easter abode has blue diamond lines. Not a fan of the color.

20. A church should always be fancy with flowers for Easter.

Now this one really gets into spring with its roof lined with pearls. Lovely.

21. An egg house is a perfect Easter dwelling.

Though I kind of wish it was a little fancier like an Easter egg. Though it certainly fits with the holiday.

22. Sometimes it’s best to go with holy simplicity.

This one just has trees with Easter eggs on them and little else. Well, it does have some pink window trim.

23. A candy house is always springtime fun.

After all, Easter is a huge holiday for candy. So such a house is quite fitting.

24. Now that’s what I call a carrot orange Victorian.

Reason why we have orange as an Easter color at all has to do with carrots. Though I think it’s a loud color to put on an Easter house.

25. A small Easter home should always shine with distinction.

Like the bushes and flower decor on this. So simple and small. But yet, so elegant.

26. Some a blue roof can bring a solace of spring charm.

This one has pink doors and windows and Easter egg trees. All surrounded by a white fence.

27. Pastel roof tiles often give a house an Easter touch.

Even has some Easter eggs and flowers. Like the bows on the windows.

28. An Easter village can often look lovely at night.

Because most of the Easter village houses light up. But the scene is nonetheless pretty.

29. Seems like this house has high carrot patch.

Now this is a house a bunny can love. Then again, bunnies aren’t as into carrots than we think.

30. An Easter candy house always has a sweet disposition.

This one has a candy tree with other decorations. It’s an adorable Easter home anyone can love.

31. Sometimes it helps to dress a plain Easter house with fancy decorations.

I showed this house earlier. Yet, this one has some jewels, lace trim, and more decor to the trees.

32. An egg house can even have 2 stories.

Like how it’s purple and has a chimney. So pretty even when lit.

33. A blue house with yellow trees can be a springtime haven.

Though I’d much prefer purple and pink. And perhaps more flowers than Easter eggs.

34. Is this supposed to be a house or a church?

Looks more like a house with 2 windows. Though I’m not thrilled with the pink roof.

35. Nothing entices an Easter bunny like a multicolor carrot fence.

Another clever fence concept. Like the little chick and bunny, too.

36. A purple Easter cottage should come with all the trimmings.

Now this is quite fancy. Like the little eggs and bunnies on here. So cute.

37. This little cottage has a flowery disposition.

Because it has only 3 of them at the facade. But the bunny seems quite happy.

38. Lattice always makes a home more quaint.

So does an outdoor staircase. Like the cute little chickies out front with the Easter egg decorated trees.

39. This little blue bird house has some colorful sights of spring.

The tree out front is decorated with Easter eggs. And you can see a nest of colored eggs.

40. This little orange cottage comes with an Easter egg fence.

They’re even decorated with rich detail. Not sure about the orange house though.

41. A purple cottage must have an Easter egg door and a pastel candy roof.

Helps if the doorway has carrots side by side. Like the green leafy tree, too.

42. You can always put a little spring in an Easter house.

You can even see some Easter eggs and flowers. Even on the lavender roof.

43. Why settle down in a burrow when you can have a purple house of your own?

Though I think these bunnies might have trouble fitting in the doorway. However, sometimes these houses aren’t made to scale.

44. This small spring home is a lamb paradise.

It’s a rather simple abode with colorful trees. But is all encrusted with glitter.

45. An Easter church should always be in a festive mood to celebrate.

Now this is quite fancy for Easter. But it’s surely lovely with a pink wreath, Easter eggs, and bunnies.

46. An Easter beach house always needs to be pastel blue.

You can tell it’s a beach house due to the shell motifs on the windows. Also, it has a fish shape somewhere.

47. This blue cottage includes a shiny wreath.

Well, if it weren’t for the decor, this would be a normal blue house. Like the Easter egg tree, by the way.

48. A pink ribbon on a cottage is a fine Easter touch.

Helps that it goes with the house. And the Easter bunny and egg decorations.

49. A purple spring house should always be the place for flowers.

There’s even a green bunny in the doorway. Though I like how the flowers go with the house.

50. Gumdrops make great Easter decoration.

You can also include peppermints and Easter style candy canes. Yes, they have them.

51. Now this is a candy decorated house any little chick would love.

Includes some Easter eggs with trees. And the chick is covered in pink cotton candy.

52. This yellow house brings in a beautiful blue butterfly.

By the way, I didn’t find as many Easter village houses as I would’ve wished. So a lot of them come from Etsy.

53. Seems like this bluebird has its eggs in a hanging basket.

Though I don’t think it’s the best place for them. Because that basket can fall.

54. A pink fence is always great for a humble blue home.

Doesn’t matter if you have chicks, birds, and bunnies living there either. Like the flower wreath.

55. I guess you can sometimes go with a rustic blue for Easter.

Helps you have a little chick on a nest near the roof. So cute.

56. Spring flowers are always grand for April showers.

Helps that Easter is in April, too. Then again, March can also be a rainy month.

57. A light pastel house with candy can be a sweet home, indeed.

This one has an interesting looking tree and a bunny clad in pastel garb. Nevertheless, I think it’s lovely.

58. Flowers and eggs can always make an Easter house a home.

Doesn’t hurt if it’s purple either. Like the lovely tree with Easter eggs on it.

59. Sometimes you can even find a whole Easter village in one basket.

This was part of a putz house kit. But I show it anyway since it’s so unique to behold.

60. This home really makes an Easterly impression.

Even has the word “Easter” in front with block lettering. And a purple ribbon, too.

61. This pink abode even has a pen for the chickies.

Well, it’s a purple pen, but still. Doesn’t endear me to the Easter bunny residing here.

62. A plain lavender house can bring pure Easter joy.

Only need a bunny and an Easter egg tree and you’re all set. Though the flowery wallpaper roof goes quite nicely.

63. A shrub door can sometimes give a home a naturalistic charm.

Well, this one has some flowers and a brown rabbit. But it’s a rather ingenious design.

64. There’s nothing that could make a candy cottage ever sweeter.

This one looks similar to a candy house I showed you earlier. But this one has 2 candy roof tops instead of one.

65. How about a plaid roof on a lavender church?

Well, purple is the color of Lent. Just not in that kind of shade though.

66. The Easter Bunny always likes to furnish his home with flowers.

However, I find this pipe cleaner Easter Bunny kind of creeper. But I really love the glittery roof.

67. A pink house should have a roof that really stands out.

Helps if it has 2 chimneys to give a small town charm. Like the decor on the picket fence.

68. Sometimes it helps if you go all out on an Easter house.

This one boasts bolder colors than what you’d usually see. But it’s set for spring so it goes on this post.

69. A glittery Easter house always shimmers in the spring time.

For some reason you see a lot of glitter on these putz houses. Like the flower on the roof.

70. Wonder what’s with hanging eggs on a tree.

Okay, I understand it’s an Easter tradition. But you have to like the bunnies and the roof in this one.

71. So the top window is a little askew on this house.

You can at least see how it enhances this spring Easter scene. So cute.

72. I sure hope this little blossom shoppe is open.

After all, spring has always been a prime time for flowers. And lovely blossoms, this store does boast.

73. Sometimes it helps if you let some things grow on the roof.

This one almost looks real with the grass on the roof. The well is nice, too.

74. Sometimes, the more colorful eggs, the better.

Once again, pipe cleaner bunny strikes on this one. And I think he looks really weird with his arms and legs.

75. I guess this pink Easter house goes for the mint impression.

Like how it has a chocolate bunny and colorful stripes. Lovely.

76. Of course, this pink Easter house is a real candy sensation.

What the hell does gingerbread have to do with Easter? That’s Christmas food.

77. Colorful butterflies prefer the smaller cottages.

Nice how it has a lot of flowers surrounding it. Also, like the little chickie.

78. An Easter egg tree should always show its true colors.

See how well it goes nice with the small cottage? Charming.

79. A purple butterfly always brings a needed springtime touch.

Yet, butterflies aren’t often represented in Easter. Not sure why. But I think it’s lovely.

80. When in doubt, try some lighter shade.

Then again, pastel colors are normally associated with Easter, anyway. But you have to see the bushes in front.

81. Sometimes a green house always works best.

I’m not too crazy about that pill green shade. But it somehow works.

82. This little purple cottage is a hopping Easter haven.

Well, this is kind of charming if you look at it from this angle. Not sure about the yellow awning though.

83. Multicolor roofs seem all the rage these days.

I guess this one was shaded in. Like the tree and the chicks.

84. Seems like these 2 bunnies just got hitched.

I guess this is a church since it has stained glass windows. But I’m sure the bunnies will be fruitful and multiply. Because rabbits reproduce like crazy.

85. A pink glitter house is just the Easter ticket.

Nice to have a sweet quiet home to go to. Like the jeweled butterfly the best.

86. An Easter tree house is a fine home for bunnies.

This one was brought to you by the magic of paper mache. Yet, you have to love this.

87. A green Easter house needs a flowery ribbon.

Helps if it’s purple with daisies, too. And it’s matched by a similarly decorated tree.

88. My, this tall pink church has a high steeple.

And I see a little birdie has made itself at home. So lovely.

89. An Easter house can stand out if it’s blue and yellow.

Helps if it has a bunny on the roof. Like the little bunnies and chickies.

90. With this purple house, spring has finally sprung.

Sure it’s similar to a few others. But it’s nonetheless stunning to behold.

91. A striped roof is always fitting with a cyan glitter house.

This is lovely. Like the Easter egg tree with the columns.

92. A yellow house with flowers is always rather sunny.

And I see this bunny’s really looking forward to Easter. Like how the flowers are purple, too.

93. It’s Easter time at this little pink cottage.

This home boasts pastel tiles and Easter eggs galore. Even an Easter egg at the door.

94. Looks like this Easter bunny has smoke up the chimney.

Sure it’s not as flashy as some of the other houses on here. But it has a nice homey appearance to it.

95. Chicks will always find a home in this glittery purple house.

The door on this is incredibly beautiful to behold. Also like the chickies.

96. A small Easter cottage only needs a few flowers.

Well, you might have flowers on the roof and chimney. But this is nonetheless quaint.

97. Chicks always appreciate a house with striped columns.

Well, those that are little balls of fludd anyway. But the candy cane striped columns on this are amazing.

98. With this little blue house, you’d find a pink bird on a chimney.

Even has a tree and flowers outside. Not sure about the windows though.

99. You can’t miss a bright orange house on Easter, no matter how small.

This little cottage is done in some unique style you’d see on Etsy. Nevertheless, it’s amazing.

100. Are those bricks or clouds on that house facade?

Another specially designed house. But one that brings in the spring. Love it.

Fun with Easter Bonnets (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 12, 2017

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Of course, I can’t do my Easter post without including bonnets. Though I like to wear hats outdoors, I don’t usually wear an Easter bonnet because I live out in the country. And if I show up in one of the ones I’ve shown so far at church, well, I wouldn’t hear the end of it. Nor do I know of any local Easter parade in my area. Nevertheless, many do as I’ve seen on Pinterest and in photos of Easter parades across the country, particularly New York. Some of these bonnets might be of straw and have flowers on them. Some of them can be more outlandish which is what you’ve seen in my other posts. And let’s just say you won’t believe the hats I have found on the Internet. Of course, women initially wore them but since it’s such a fun tradition to make one’s own, men and boys have their own, too. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of weird and wacky Easter bonnets to enjoy.

Welcome in spring with a daffodil Easter bonnet.

Well, it’s mostly made of paper with chicks on the petals. But it’s quite cute.

2. Now your Easter bonnet can be a flower patch for chicks and bunnies.

The bunnies on here are mostly made from eggs. The chicks are made from pom poms.

3. Nothing welcomes spring like a fancy hat of green.

Not sure if I like this one. However, since it’s outlandish enough, I’ll put it on the post for show.

4. You can’t have an Easter bonnet without a bow and rabbit ears.

Helps if it has some Easter eggs and flowers at the brim. So pretty.

5. Chicks always like a tower slide.

Well, it’s a cone shaped Easter bonnet with stars. Initially thought this was a lighthouse. Maybe it is.

6. When you wear an Easter bonnet in New York, you can always go all out.

This woman’s wearing an Easter bonnet consisting of a stack of pillows and decorations. Yes, it’s outrageous and I’m not sure how she keeps her head up.

7. With this Easter bonnet, you will be one with the Force.

Yes, they have Star Wars Easter bonnets. I know it’s crazy. But I’m sure little boys would wear something like this.

8. Celebrate Easter with a bonnet depicting chicks who worshipped the Norse gods.

Still, you have to like the chicks in Viking helmets. And that ship looks pretty cool.

9. Even Spider Man has to have his own pair of bunny ears.

Yes, they also have Spider Man Easter bonnets, too. Though this one has its own unique charm.

10. The Crazy Critters treehouse is always the place to be.

Funny how the brim consists of pom pom chicks and eggs. Though I’m not sure how the turtle got up the ladder.

11. Didn’t know they had colored eggs in prehistoric times.

Of course, they didn’t. But if your son is very into dinosaurs, this is the Easter bonnet for him.

12. An Easter bunny bonnet should always sparkle.

Well, this one has those sparkly stones you get from a craft store. But it’s a hopping sensation.

13. Some Easter bonnets come with a little bit of everything.

And I mean everything. Not sure how this girl can hold her head up. Then again, the decorations probably don’t weigh that much.

14. Nothing makes an Easter bonnet quite like one with the dinosaurs.

Because these Easter chicks are probably descended from them. No, I am not kidding. Hell, there were even chicken sized dinos.

15. An Easter basket should have some egg candy to spare.

This one has an Easter basket dumping the egg candy. And you have bunnies on the brim.

16. Welcome bring with an Easter bonnet of a bunny encased in a fence.

There are a few hats like this. But this one has flowers and dragon flies.

17. An cone Easter bonnet can always make you shine and sparkle.

This one contains shiny Easter eggs and pom poms of every pastel color. Yes, it’s outrageous but it’s doable.

18. This woman couldn’t leave home on Easter without her blue hydrangeas.

So she wore them on her head in a pot. Okay, the flowers are fake. But you can say she’s a real pot head.

19. Nothing captivates an Easter parade like a rubber duck in a tub.

Wouldn’t have thought you can have that as an Easter bonnet. But it certainly works like a charm.

20. Everyone always enjoys a rainbow behind a windmill.

Well, this is certainly a cute pastoral scene. But they should watch out for a crazy old man thinking the mill is a giant.

21. Here comes the Easter bunny king carried by his attendants.

Okay, that’s pretty clever. Love the bunny attendants. Also like the flowers, too.

22. Seems like this egghead aims for the sky.

Well, this plane is somewhat old fashioned. But it works to some extent.

23. Something tells me this woman is a bit cagey.

After all, she’s wearing a birdcage Easter bonnet. And I see she has to hold it up with her arm to keep it from falling.

24. Hope these chicks enjoy a picnic.

Well, this is adorable. Love the little garden on the brim. So cute.

25. I suppose this Wonka hat is perfect for an Easter parade.

Well, it certainly has the Wonka fixtures like candy and a golden ticket. However, Wonka is a pretty creepy dude.

26. Even the most sophisticated can don an Easter hat for the parade.

This one depicts a bunny with chicks and flowers. Not outlandish, but quite showy.

27. A pink castle always looks great on your head.

A castle Easter bonnet, who knew? Like how it has a butterfly on the front. So pretty.

28. A large flower should always make an impression.

This one uses the same pattern fro the bird house. Wonder if you can spin the flower around.

29. A ladybug Easter bonnet will always melt your heart.

I’m sure nobody could resist the cute eyes and smile. So adorable.

30. As we all know, you have to make the dinosaur eggs blend in.

Yes, this is another dino Easter bonnet. But, at least they used earth tone eggs and autumn leaves.

31. Looks like her flowers have grown on her hat.

This one even has butterflies fluttering, around, too. But you probably didn’t see that at first.

32. You’d almost think this Easter bonnet came straight from Jurassic Park.

Even has long leaves for a feathery impression. And a lot of green eggs for an Easter flair.

33. Noah’s ark is always the place for chicks for flood refuge.

Yes, I know there has to be animals coming in 2 by 2. But the ark certainly has an Easter touch. And it’s weird because Noah’s ark happened in Genesis.

34. An Easter bonnet of R2-D2 is always dependable.

Though this one has his dome shaped like an egg for Easter. I know it’s crazy but so is ignoring R2-D2’s contributions to the Star Wars franchise.

35. Her hat consists of nothing but twigs.

That’s because it’s made to look like a nest. And one that uses organic materials.

36. I guess she must be a real nest head for some reason.

Well, spring is a time when you’d find a lot of nests. And I’m sure wearing one isn’t too far fetched.

37. A large egg on your head never brings your Easter spirit in doubt.

Helps if it’s fancy and fits in a basket. Like the flower brim, too.

38. Tall pink Easter bonnets should always match.

Helps if the decor are different colors so you can tell them apart. But yes, these are outrageous.

39. A spring butterfly hat should always be glorious.

Now that’s a really tall fancy hat. Like the pink wings. Wonder what it looks like from the front.

40. Now this guy is a real flower head.

I mean his head is in a fro of flowers. Then again, in New York, he’s probably not the most outrageous guy in the parade.

41. These Easter pirate chicks love life on the high seas.

Yes, they have pirate ones, too. But at least the chicks look adorable with their ship.

42. No bunny can ever resist a large carrot top.

That’s really clever. Makes it look as if the bunny’s going at the carrot. Adorable.

43. How about a bunny popping out of an Easter bonnet to munch a carrot.

Sure it may not be among the fancier bonnets I showed so far. But it’s cute in its own unique way.

44. Nothing makes a great Easter bonnet like flowers and butterflies to hail spring.

You probably remember this woman from my other Easter bonnet posts. Though this one doesn’t settle on a particular color.

45. Almost thought this Easter bonnet was full of hot air.

Well, it’s a hot air balloon Easter bonnet. Even has chicks in its little basket.

46. A Rapunzel Easter bonnet is perfect for those who prefer letting their hair down.

Well, it’s more based on Tangled. But at least the hair goes nicely on the tower.

47. You’d never guess to find something hatching on this woman.

Vintage Easter bonnets can be just as crazy. Though I think the chick is quite creepy.

48. Sometimes all you need is a large feathered chick.

She certainly has the feathers nailed down. And you can see the large chick for miles.

49. For a great Easter bonnet, it helps if you can put everything springy in it.

I’m sure she’ll certainly stand out in a crowd with that hat. Wonder how she can stand without holding it.

50. This Easter bonnet was made courtesy of KFC.

On one hand, this is pretty clever. On the other hand, you know what the words KFC stands for. And why tying it in to Easter is kind of disturbing.

51. This woman prefers her Easter bonnet to be sunny side up.

Well, at least it’s clever and simple. Though at least she didn’t include any chickies.

52. A large nest Easter bonnet always has to include flowers.

She can even fit 2 other people under it. Yet, you have to admire the pink bird on top.

53. There’s no better Easter bonnet than one of purple butterflies.

Purple butterflies surely make an impression. Though I’m not sure if any exist in North America.

54. When going to the parade, it helps if your Easter bonnets match with your friends.

After all, these do. Wonder why they were able to come up with the same Easter bonnet design.

55. Remember how the bunny always belongs in the basket.

Another vintage Easter bonnet. At least the bunny is cute in this even though it looks ridiculous.

56. When all else fails, you can always try colorful Easter baskets.

Like how they’re wearing dresses to match. But yes, these are hilarious.

57. On a bright sunny day, all you need is some shade.

And you thought contemporary Easter bonnets were outrageous. This one almost takes the cake.

58. Instead of one bunny, this woman’s hat has 3.

Another outrageous vintage Easter bonnet. But at least the bunnies are cute.

59. A flowery hat should always come with a sunny dress.

Unfortunately, you’d have to hold it up with both hands so it won’t fall off. But yes, this is pretty outrageous.

60. Sometimes you just have to show up to the parade in large rabbit ears.

And their Easter bonnets certainly boast loudly, too. But at least they seem simple.

61. An Easter bonnet with a bunny and flowers is always well matched.

Helps that they have the same bunny. Also, like the flowers at the brim.

62. This kid’s hat boasts a tall tower like no other.

I guess this girl really likes castles and fairy tales. Like the chicks and ivy.

63. This flowery Easter bonnet really brings in the sun.

The red flowers and orange brim can do that. Not sure if I’d want to get in her way.

64. Sometimes whenever someone wears an Easter bonnet, so does the dog.

But at least the dog has to wear rabbit ears and be in a basket. And the hat isn’t too bad either.

65. Someone likes to tiptoe through the tulips.

Well, tulips are certainly in season around Easter, if it’s in April. If not, it’s a nice touch.

66. A birdhouse is a welcome spring sight.

Helps if it’s in light blue and pink. The birds are also a nice spring touch.

67. That hat must have a real chick face.

And it does. Guess it didn’t take long to make, assuming the hat had the other stuff to begin with. So adorable.

68. An Easter basket bonnet should spring into action.

And this basket has almost everything you’d associate with Easter and more. Quite colorful, I’ll say.

69. This bunny is quite boxy if you ask me.

Well, that’s an easy Easter bonnet idea. Just stick the bunny ears to a hollowed out box and you’re done.

70. This man comes in with a whole ferris wheel.

Well, it certainly has a charm to it. But he’s not at the parade for your amusement.

71. If you like The Wizard of Oz, then this is the Easter bonnet for you.

Unfortunately, the Emerald City resembles a green phallic metropolis. But it’s a worthy effort.

72. Sometimes Easter bonnets can be as mutant as they come.

This one features Storm from the X-Men. What she has to do with Easter, I don’t know.

73. These girls must be real eggheads.

They even have little chicks coming out of their Easter eggs. So cute.

74. Sometimes it helps if you wear the same watering cans.

Also helps if they contain flowers as well. I really like these for some reason.

75. With Easter bonnets, you can’t go wrong with a large yellow butterfly.

And that would certainly stand out in a crowd on any given day. Not sure about the yellow feathers though.

76. Sometimes you can’t have an Easter bonnet without the proper frame.

You can either go with moss or ornate fancy flowers. Can’t do both.

77. A pirate Easter bonnet should have a large share of booty.

Helps if you can include a parrot, too. This guy even dyed his beard funky colors.

78. Nothing makes an Easter bonnet quite like beer cans.

Well, I guess that might work at some point. But I’m sure if the cans go with the Easter decor.

79. Fans of Shea Stadium and the Yankees might like this one.

I guess this was made with an inflated inner tube and baseball cards. Not bad, but not my favorite.

80. I guess this guy is a New York Jets fan.

Even has Pooh with bunny ears on a jet. And that is as Easter as he gets.

Easter Greetings from the Days of Yesteryear (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 10, 2017

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Now that I have peep dioramas down, it’s onto vintage Easter greeting cards. Now the card above is from Russia depicting a bus or carriage filled with spring flowers. Nevertheless, it’s a beautiful card. Anyway, greeting cards have always been a staple of holidays, especially during the olden days. And Easter is no exception. As I said before in my greeting card posts, we tend to view a lot of the past with rose colored glasses as well as imagine it as a more wholesome and refined time than it actually was. With Easter greeting cards, vintage ones might include cutesy imagery to melt your heart or beautiful illustrations like you see above. However, like my other greeting card posts, if you want the sweet vintage Easter cards with cute little bunnies, chicks, lambs, and any other animals all living in harmony, well, you’ve come to the wrong place. Because the Easter greeting cards I show here will either creep you out or have you scratching your head. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another collection of Easter cards your grandparents don’t want you to see.

“So how much will it be for the yellow egg, ma’am?”

Notice the hen selling eggs. Remember that chickens lay them and hatch from them. So she’s most likely selling her own children, assuming they’re fertilized.

2. In Russia, it’s a tradition for children to kiss each other on the lips during the Easter season.

Uh, aren’t they’re a bit young for that? Then again, Russia has always been a miserable place.

3. “Now when these girls approach us, we throw these eggs right at them.”

Seems likes the last time these women will wear their spring dresses for a long time. So remember to watch out for egg wielding rabbits while outside.

4. On second thought, Tommy should’ve used plush rabbits for his Easter basket instead.

Using live bunnies for Easter baskets are never a good idea. Also, these bunnies are like, “We’re free! We’re free! Let’s get out of here before they kill us.”

5. On Easter, it’s well-known for chicks to compete in rowing contests.

Though I’m not sure about the water content here. Looks really brown. Also, what the hell?

6. Spring always marks the time for chicks to come out of their eggshells.

Okay, not those chicks. Even the feathery chickies are like, “What the fuck?” Seeing it’s from France, I guess absinthe had something to do with this design.

7. Apparently, these children decided to see chicks hatching a the wrong henhouse.

Then again, if I were the rooster, I’d charge at the boy, too. Because he seems to have a future as a budding serial killer.

8. You can’t have some Easter greetings without some circus dogs.

And I’m not kidding. But you have to be impressed by how Rover juggles eggs. Amazing.

9. There’s nothing more delightful on Easter than a jack-in-the-box bunny.

On second thought, that thing is absolutely terrifying. From how I see it, the chicks don’t have long to live.

10. Nothing melts your heart like seeing a child snuggling with a bunny and holding chicks.

Or as I see it the child’s like, “I’ll hug ’em, and squeeze ’em, and keep ’em forever and ever.” The bunny on the other hand, is thinking, “Oh, God help me!”

11. Easter greetings from the garden gnomes riding chickens.

And it seems like they don’t treat the chickens very well. Because they don’t seem very happy.

12. I guess this family comes hardboiled.

For God’s sake, egg people? Now that’s just really fucked up if you asked me. Seriously, why?

13. All happiness for Easter from the chicks in in the car.

Apparently, there’s that one chick who’s not enjoying the ride. Then again, having to sit on the floor isn’t much fun either.

14. Instead of the Chicken dance, chicks prefer the congo line.

Why the kids form an arch as the chicks come in, I have no idea. Nor do the chicks, apparently.

15. For an injured chick, a Jewish egg bar is always the place to go.

This just looks so wrong on so many levels. Seriously, a Jewish egg bar? Come on.

16. Nothing says best wishes on Easter like rooster riding bunnies about to slaughter each other on the battlefield.

I guess this goes along the lines of “With best Easter wishes that you may die an honorable death in battle.” Because these bunnies are at all out war for God’s sake.

17. Perhaps a romantic bunny dinner can’t be without some flowers from a chick.

However, I think Peter Cottontail just wants to have sex with Flopsy and not much else. And I think Flopsy is thinking about getting the hell out and dodge.

18. “Hey, a bunny walking chicks on a leash.”

The rabbit is like, “Listen, sweetie. Pretend this never happened.” Also, what’s with the Easter eggs growing on trees?

19. For rabbits, there’s nothing like a nice quiet morning with the family.

Except with Mopsy and Cottontail fighting each other the carrot and lettuce. Meanwhile, everyone else pretends not to notice.

20. “Look, everyone, no hands.”

Meanwhile, Hutch’s friends are taking bets on when the egg basket will fall on his head. And they’re watching because they think it’d be hilarious. Hutch is such a show-off.

21. Here we come to a little chick enjoying an egg.

Hate to say this but, that ain’t right. I mean isn’t a chick eating from an egg cannibalism? Disturbing.

22. “Back off, girl, can’t you see I’m closed? Come back later.”

Sorry, but I don’t think the Easter Bunny is in the best mood right now. So if you need eggs, too bad.

23. As an adult Peter Rabbit and his buddies would steal objects from Mr. McGregor’s house and form a band.

They were known as the Jack Rabbits and would revolutionize stomp music forever. Not sure why they have eggs though.

24. Nothing brings a happy Easter like a bunny and chick near an egg.

From Popthomology: “Insane Albino Bunny Lord demands more and more from Slave Chick.” So if Slave Chick brings more clover, will he get his unborn sibling back?

25. There’s nothing more thrilling than a chick bicycle race.

Kind of impressed how their feet can meet the pedals. However, they’re not wearing helmets.

26. If chick bike races aren’t your thing, then you might like a rabbit back race.

So there are chick jockeys riding on rabbits like they’re horses. And I thought the chick bike race was crazy. This is unbelievable.

27. A rooster is always a distinguished gentleman.

Though why it has people hands just freaks me out. Just doesn’t look right on him. Also, why is he using an egg like an accessory?

28. “Happy Easter from our henhouse to yours.”

Okay, this is just even freakier. Why the hell does this chicken family have human faces? That’s just really fucked up.

29. Of course, you can always send a religious Easter card. Usually nothing goes wrong there.

Since Jesus resurrected from the dead on Easter, a child now breaks from an egg and rains Easter eggs for all the children. Okay, that’s just wrong.

30. Easter is always a time of family togetherness.

“I’m sorry, kids, but Daddy’s never coming home for Easter since he stepped on a mine in No Man’s Land. But I’m sure he’s here in spirit watching over us. We just won’t see him.”

31. It’s always a thrill to see a chick and rabbit dance.

Yes, I know it’s kind of strange to see rabbits and chicks dancing with each other. The chick band doesn’t seem impressed.

32. Benjamin Bunny always carries a slate board and pussy willows.

How he manages to draw anything, I have absolutely no idea. But the stash seems carrot shaped.

33. For a rooster to lay eggs with chickens, he must know how to serenade her.

It helps if the rooster knows a musical instrument like a lute. Because his singing might wake up the neighborhood during the night.

34. These bunnies always know some tricks.

And it seems that the rabbit crowd loves it. Had it be a musician, it might’ve started some unstoppable breeding.

35. A child shall lead some sheep pulling an egg on a chariot.

Nevertheless, there’s something really disturbing about this. It seems that after the egg is at its destination, those lambs are mutton.

36. “Ladies and gentlemen, all aboard on the Easter Express.”

Those eggs look huge for some reason. Also, what’s with the bunnies operating a train?

37. “They’re gaining on us! Load the anti-aircraft egg cannon!”

For nothing says Easter like using colored eggs as ammunition. They’re even used to shoot down enemy airplanes.

38. Easter is always a time for eggs to find love.

Except for that one egg at the receptacle. Let’s hope he doesn’t end up like Humpty Dumpty. Also, why?

39. Seems like Jack Frost messed with the wrong herd of rabbits.

Here they have him on an egg and beaten senseless. Because bunnies show no mercy.

40. Happy Easter, compliments of the eggshell boat races.

Wonder how rabbits manage to fit in them. And why are they using on one oar? Shouldn’t they just have oars you use for kayaks?

41. Bunnies always enjoy a nice quiet tea now and then.

However, even Mopsy wants to know why Randall has to smoke his long pipe at the table. It just look strange like a hookah or something.

42. Even chicks like to take a vacation on the high seas.

Though in this case, the crowd at the dock is waiting for arrival at port. And they’re all carrying egg baskets for some reason.

43. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit, it’s a girl.

However, everyone will know she’s adopted since it’s obvious. But I’m sure they’ll treat her like their other children. Though I’m sure they can’t keep track of them all.

44. “How about we go for a swing in an eggshell?”

Susie shouldn’t have taken the eggs with her on her lap. Since they can drop to the rabbit’s dismay.

45. With pussy willows and an eggshell outfit, she is all set for Easter.

A dress would’ve been fine. Wearing an eggshell like that just makes her look stupid. And possibly unable to sit down.

46. The rabbit pulled chick stagecoach has arrived.

Yes, I know it’s crazy using the bunnies as horses. But please, I wasn’t consulted and am just as freaked out as you are.

47. “You know what? Let’s shoot a bunch of eggs in a cannon at once.”

Well, at least they’re not shooting off fireworks. But why are they dressed in skimpy Greek outfits I don’t understand.

48. Unfortunately, Snookums couldn’t resist the temptation.

Let’s hope he escapes this with an injured tail. Because that chicken has a vicious streak a mile wide.

49. Sometimes a rabbit likes to show off in his top hat and tails.

Apparently, the chick maid isn’t impressed by his style. Well, can’t win them all.

50. “As long as we’re on the large egg, the dogs can’t get to us.”

As we all know, dogs kill rabbits. Still, I think these 2 should’ve picked a higher hiding place. Because the dogs can easily get to them.

The Wonderful World of Peep Shows (No, Not that Kind) (Fourth Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 8, 2017

Of course, nothing could say Easter on my blog than another post on peep dioramas. As you probably know that peeps are these sugar coated marshmallows in the forms of bunnies and chicks that are unfit for human consumption. Though that doesn’t stop people from trying to pass them off as Easter candy. However, there is a better way to use these inedible marshmallows of cuteness for this Easter season. And that’s where peep dioramas come in. Over the years I’ve done posts of these cuteness scenes mostly mocking pop culture and concepts of every day life. And while kids make them, you can say a lot of these I show aren’t necessarily G-Rated. Though there are plenty of contests, with the most notable being from the Washington Post. But a lot of them are clever while I certainly enjoy them. So as long as there’s Easter, my viewers will have to put up with them. Thus, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of peep dioramas.

Hope the Finch bunnies come to no harm but I doubt it.

I see little Scout is dressed in her little ham costume. And I see they discovered some of the stuff Boo Radley left in a tree.

2. Apparently, Escher knows how to make bunnies feel at home.

Well, this is supposed to be an optical illusion. But such executions don’t work that well in dioramas.

3. “O say can you peep,/By the bun’s early light…”

Well, that’s a great rendition of the American flag. Though it seems more red, white, and pink.

4. Apparently, these two bunnies just jumped off a cliff.

This is a diorama of Thelma & Louise for those who don’t recognize it. It’s not a movie for kids. But this is pretty funny.

5. The Gary and Mary West Senior Peep Center is the place for elderly chicks and bunnies.

I know plenty wouldn’t get this at first since inedible peeps never age. But this is quite clever.

6. Guess Peep Co. isn’t known for swell service.

Then again, they could just be fixing the power lines after a really bad storm. But I’m not sure the bunny family sees it that way.

7. Peepsus died for our sins so he can rise from the dead.

Yes, it’s another Jesus portrait with chicks. But this one contains a pink sacred heart.

8. The Mythpeepers have experienced a little accident.

Of course, it’s widely said that marshmallows explode in microwaves. And I’m sure these guys will need a new one.

9. In this ark, the peeps come in 2 by 2.

Well, Noah’s Ark seems like a natural choice. Though I do like how some of the bunnies are depicted as animals.

10. With peeps, life can always be a fairy tale.

You can see some of your favorites on this little storybook diorama. Contains some of your favorites. Please, by my guest.

11. Like the rest of us, peeps had to go to school, too.

Though it seems like we have some high school peeps in our midst. The teacher is even using PowerPoint.

12. Now here’s a beauty pageant I’d like to see.

Hope there’s not a real creepy bunny with awful hair looking into them while dressing. Okay, I might’ve went too far with this.

13. “E-Peep phone home.”

Nice how they have the iconic bike scene to pay tribute. Spielberg would be proud.

14. As you can see, peeps come in all kinds in the world.

They also dress quite differently. But this diorama gives a nice image of world peace and harmony.

15. Chemistry lab helps peeps learn about the world through science.

Yes, it’s another classroom diorama. But let’s hope no one resorts to causing explosions.

16. Is this a yoga class or tai chi?

Then again, there’s some bamboo imagery so it seems to be tai chi. But you can’t always tell wit peeps on mats.

17. These bunnies are in the yard doing hard time.

And these bunnies live in a literal cardboard prison. Too bad they couldn’t do a peeps chain gang.

18. Peepsburgh is a hopping place.

I don’t think “Peepsburgh” was a play on Pittsburgh. But I wish it was. Because this seems like a rather small town.

19. “Someday, my peepce will come…”

As you can see, this is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Like the evil bunny queen with her magic mirror.

20. Oh, shit, the FBI just had to stage a pot bust.

Though I know these aren’t anything to laugh about, this peep version is kind of hilarious. I mean you can’t resist laughing at a bunny with a bong.

21. Peepanardo paints his masterpiece the Mona Peepsa.

Though the real Leonardo more likely had her for one sitting with a sketch. Though this is a very iconic image from the historical imagination with peeps.

22. Julius Caesar should’ve beware the Ides of Marshmallow.

Too bad he didn’t listen and got stabbed in the back by his so-called friends in the Senate. Et u, Brute, indeed.

23. Looks like Vincent Van Peep has a very nice place.

Yeah, I know I’ve put peep dioramas of Van Gogh stuff before. But this one is of a different painting entirely.

24. I don’t know about you, but Black Chick looks very creepy to me.

This is a parody of Black Swan, a psycho sexual thriller starring Natalie Portman. Yes, this film very creepy.

25. Even bunnies get into Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Yes, I included a Mardi Gras one last year. But this one includes more beads and bunnies.

26. Let’s be quiet as the king prepares for his speech.

Yes, this is a play on The King’s Speech with 2 scenes. Notice how the therapist and king are sharing earphones.

27. Now these hunky bunnies are about to get naked in Magic Peep XXL.

I saw the original Magic Mike and didn’t care for it. So I didn’t watch the sequel. Still, I think this diorama is better than the movie it’s parodying.

28. Look out, Harry, the peepalisk is right behind you!

I have to admire this diorama of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Though the snake in this isn’t quite scary.

29. In an alternative universe…..

Okay, that’s really sick and twisted. Whoever thought up this must have a very warped imagination.

30. As you probably know, peeps consist of many elements.

A periodic table of peeps. Never saw that before. Guess someone must be very into science.

31. Is this a work of art or an artist’s model?

Well, either way, someone seems to be interested. Maybe she’s one of those living statues.

32. “Today we’re going to explore what’s inside a chocolate bunny.”

This is a take off from the Rembrandt painting, The Anatomy Lesson. Though I don’t think these chicks will find anything inside this chocolate bunny since it’s hollow.

33. “Come with me, and you’ll see in a world of pure imagination…”

Now that’s a very ambitious diorama of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. They even have Augustus Gloop in a chocolate tube.

34. Say hello to the newest Disney princess.

Yes, you get to see so many of your favorite Disney princesses as bunnies. Even includes Princess Leia with her sticky bun hair style.

35. Apparently, Pope Julius II and his crew came to see Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

I guess the artist doesn’t want to be disturbed. However, having the Creation of Adam in bunny heads is clever.

36. Georgia O’Peeps paints a landscape in the New Mexican desert.

At least they don’t have her doing any flower paintings. Because those aren’t appropriate for children.

37. In Italy, you can’t leave without seeing the Leaning Tower of Peepsa.

They even have chicks sticking out of it. Not sure if that’s even safe.

38. “All we are saying is give peeps a chance…”

This is a parody of John and Yoko’s bed in after their wedding. I know it’s crazy but that was the late 1960s.

39. The Dark Knight always seeks justice for Gotham City.

You can guess this is a peep diorama of Batman. Though this one is more in comic book story mode.

40. Looks like there’s a showing of Star Wars at the Bunny Hi Drive In Theater.

I see they’re at the part when Obi Wan duels with Darth Vader. You can guess what happens from here.

41. Unfortunately, Dr. Who can’t avoid the dalek chicks for long.

I don’t know much about Dr. Who. But I have to admit making chick peeps of daleks is rather funny.

42. On some days, you feel like you’re gonna scream.

As you might know, this is a peep parody of Edvard Munch’s The Scream. Of course, it’s also the most famous painting to come from Norway.

43. Guess the Lincolns didn’t have a good time at the theater that night.

Didn’t know you could find a peep diorama of the Lincoln assassination at Ford’s Theatre. I know it’s kind of crazy, but I’ll put it on the post.

44. Don’t feed the animals at Jurassic Peep.

Then again, the dinosaurs might eat them if they’re not careful. Yeah, perhaps cloning dinosaurs for tourism is a very bad idea.

45. Wonder what trouble Indy has gotten into this time.

I guess whatever trinket he stole, he’s probably justified since it belongs in a museum. Though the bunny heads on stakes is pretty sick.

46. With his squire at his side, Don Peepote charges at the nefarious giant.

Unfortunately, it’s actually a windmill and he gets severely injured. Still, a great rendition of Miguel Cervantes’ classic novel.

47. “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a stay puff…”

I had to include one of Hamilton with the cast members singing their lines from the title song. Some of them are quite clever.

48. When these chicks demand the right to vote, they mean business.

Here suffragettes are protesting in front of the White House during the Wilson administration. Eventually their efforts paid off in 1920 with the 19th Amendment.

49. Here we come to the discovery of King Tutankhabun’s tomb.

I even saw a version where it lights up. But I think this photo does much more justice. Like the hieroglyphs and art.

50. Hester Peep will now and forever be branded as an adulteress and doomed to wear the Letter A.

Yes, they even have a peep diorama of the book you had to read in high school. Sure Puritains won’t approve of this but I don’t care.

Spring Into These Easter Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on March 6, 2017

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Now it’s on to the Easter craft projects. Last year I did a post like this which received a wonderful reception so I decided to do another. Nevertheless, people love to decorate their homes on Easter with springy adornments like flowers and birds. But you’ll also find a lot of colored eggs, chicks, ducks, sheep, and bunnies. In some religious homes, you might see crosses since it denotes Jesus’s crucifixion and resurrection and perhaps a lamb to denote him Lamb of God. Anyway, above you’ll see a spring flower egg shaped wreath with a birdhouse along with two urns filled with matching flowers and colored eggs made from paper. So you get the idea. Yet, while you might see plenty of Easter crafts made by children at school, those made by adults can be used year after year. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of Easter craft projects.

A quilted egg mat is a must have on any Easter table.

Helps you can use strips of cloth of different patterns in the process. Or even ones in order to create a pattern of your own.

2. A coin covered cross is always paid in full.

A great decoration to make with all the worthless currency you have hanging around. Though don’t ask Jesus to change any of these into gold.

3. An Easter wreath should always be decked in eggs.

I’ve put up plastic egg wreaths before in last year’s Easter craft post. But this one has its own unique style.

4. A nest filled with grass and eggs always marks the start of spring.

Though I think most of the foliage here is fake. But at least it inspires you to spring into action.

5. With pussy willows and color eggs, this is an Easter scene to remember.

Yes, I know I often call these stems pussy willows. But that’s how I was brought up to call them. Anyway, love the butterflies and eggs.

6. Yarn carrots are great for drawing the Easter Bunny.

Okay, these aren’t real nor are the edible. But you can use them for any Easter decoration you please or put them in a basket.

7. Nothing warms your heart like a mother and baby bunny wreath on your front door.

Helps that they both have flowers in their ears and bows on their necks. Like how the baby has other flowers on its body, too.

8. An Easter Bunny should sit on some ivy and colored eggs.

Well, on top of an old pillar anyway. Nevertheless, it’s a great decoration to put in the corner or near your front door.

9. Small glass stones are always great for painting Easter eggs.

And you can paint so many different designs on them, too. Though it requires a lot of precision and an eye for small details.

10. This Easter wreath contains its own basket of eggs.

If you don’t like bunnies, this will do just fine. Still, really like the flowers on this.

11. Here we have a bunny lounging around the flowers.

If you like bright spring flowers, this wreath is certainly for you. But don’t mind the bunny who’s only passing time.

12. With a few flowers and eggs, you can make an Easter bouquet.

But make sure the flowers all match first. After that, you can use whatever fake eggs you want.

13. Spring purple flowers in a basket is always an inviting sight.

And since purple is my favorite color, I especially love it. Makes a great centerpiece.

14. Greet your Easter guests with a tulip bouquet hanging at your front door.

Well, it doesn’t just have tulips. And the flowers are fake. But it’ll certainly give a spring touch. Love the lavender ribbon.

15. A quilt with chicks is perfect for the Easter season.

Each square depicts an Easter scene with chicks and eggs. Many will find it a real treat.

16. A spring hat should always contain a few flowers.

These white ones are even crocheted in different sizes. Though it’s just as well because late March and April have rather unpredictable weather.

17. A sign like this always brings the Easter Bunny spirit.

After all, it says “Hippity Hop.” And it includes a colored egg for the “O.”

18. A spring bouquet could use some jellybeans and peeps.

Since these candies aren’t really meant for human consumption. But at least they’re great for decoration. Helps if the flowers match.

19. Greet guests into your Easter home with a magnificent bouquet at your front door.

And you can tell it’s an Easter bouquet because there’s a pink bunny in it. But I love the flowers just the same.

20. For a more rustic touch, you can always leave a wooden wheel for blue flowers and birds.

Even includes a bird in the nest. A nice way to welcome friends and family.

21. An Easter cross should have lilies, violets, and ivy.

Call it a lovely way to decorate an implement of a painful and torturous death. Then again, I might’ve said something sacrilegious here. I apologize.

22. It’s always appropriate to put a cross inside a candle holder centerpiece.

After all, you can’t go wrong with an ornate cross and lilies. Makes a great table centerpiece.

23. If you don’t like wreaths, you can make a bunny hanging from a wide straw hat.

Helps if you add a bow and a few flowers. But all in all, this is adorable.

24. Welcome spring with a festive flair by hanging this butterfly wreath.

And boy, does that butterfly certainly make an impression among the vibrant purple deco mesh and flowers. Love this.

25. A cross wreath should contain Easter lilies.

Because the lilies they toil not but not even Solomon could possess anything as great as these. Also, you have to include the cross because He has risen.

26. Wow your guests this Easter with crocheted Easter egg place mats.

Though both of these have a flat end so you can put silverware. But they nevertheless have the same stripe pattern.

27. There’s nothing more sweet than a crocheted chocolate bunny.

Sure you can’t eat it. But it’s oh so adorable you wouldn’t even care.

28. Of course, we all like to hang out with our peeps.

Sure they may be inedible sugar coated marshmallow candy. But this sign is quite clever.

29. Would you want a white or brown nest stand.

I wanted to put these on last year’s post but didn’t see much point. So I have them on for this year. Sure they’re quite plain but creative.

30. Nothing wows Easter visitors like a cotton tail wreath on your door.

Because rabbits have cotton tails. Nevertheless, you have to admire how fluffy and original it is.

31. A flower bouquet should always have a few butterflies.

Well this looks pretty simple. Just have a vase, fake small white flowers, and some butterflies. Lovely.

32. This Easter, how about some spring flowers and eggs in a wooden box.

Helps that the box has a mirror. though the flowers might have rather short stems.

33. This wooden bunny brings flowers of great joy.

Don’t mind it being blue with burlap ears either. At any rate, it’s adorable with a rustic touch.

34. Bring spring into your home with some pinecone zinnias.

They’re just pinecones painted to resemble zinnias. You can put some in a bowl. Love the purple ones the best.

35. Don’t like wreaths? This butterfly hanging will suit your fancy.

Includes deco mesh and ribbons of all kinds of colors along with yellow flowers. Quite stunning if you ask me.

36. This bunny sack is great for storing eggs.

Sure it’s not as elaborate as a basket. But it’s simple to make and won’t break the bank.

37. With some crosses, you can go all out.

Now this one is certainly in all its glory. Love how the flowers match the deco mesh background.

38. These pastel felt bunnies can melt your heart.

Each of them has a unique ribbon, too. But the buttons on them are all the same.

39. An egg shaped wreath should bring spring in all its glory.

Includes a lot of flowers and yarn eggs. Wonderful to have on your front door. Love it.

40. You should always leave a wooden bucket for the birds.

Like how it has purple flowers and moss. Such a naturalistic scene. And quite original.

41. For religious displays, you can’t go wrong with a white lily, 3 crosses, and a crown of thorns.

Well, this looks quite simple for the paschal season. Like how the crosses are set up.

42. These amigurumi bunnies live in a little carrot cottage.

Each bunny is in a different color. The carrot house even has a door and windows. So cute.

43. An antique metal cage is always great for flowers.

And each flower is in full bloom among the iron wrought bars. Makes a great centerpiece.

44. Keep warm this Easter with your very own bunny beanie.

Guess this one is for a girl since it has flowers. At any rate, it’s cute.

45. A spring wreath should have eggs of robin’s egg blue.

Well, robins don’t lay that many egg.s But you might find some flowers on it here and there.

46. If you like pine cone zinnas, then put them in a spring wreath on your door.

After all, pine cone zinnas make lovely flowers. Like how each of them is painted in bright colors.

47. Umbrellas are always great for spring bouquets.

Though the one I had last year only contained tulips in birds’ eggs. This is far more to my liking.

48. With a red tulip wreath, spring is in the air.

The flowers might be fake but they certainly go nicely around it. I’m sure anyone would enjoy this.

49. You can’t go wrong with an Easter basket hanging of eggs and flowers.

Helps that the eggs are in pastel colors while the flowers are magenta and yellow. Love this.

50. A yarn egg wreath can always use a few buttons.

Because you can’t have too many bright color buttons for wreath like this. Adorable.

51. As the sign says, you should give peeps a chance.

As decorations and diorama figures, certainly yes. But as Easter candy or food? Are you out of your mind?

52. A large egg in a nest makes a lovely flower vase.

Not sure what’s being used for the egg. But at any rate, I love the purple flowers.

53. For a more realistic crown of thorns, just add toothpicks to a grapevine wreath.

Of course, you might not want to use it as a prop for a Passion play. Still, looks pretty realistic enough.

54. An Easter Bunny wreath should contain festive flowers.

Like how it contains 2 bows and lots of flowers. Wouldn’t mind having it on my door.

55. Birds’ eggs should always match the flowers.

Well, this gives a nice spring touch. But don’t birds usually lay eggs that are the same color? Or at least close to it?

56. An Easter egg table runner should contain a few chicks.

Each egg has its own unique design and patterns. Though I think the chicks really stand out.

57. These bunny ear hair pieces will make you hippity hop for joy.

Available in 5 different colors. But each is in a rather simple design with ribbons. Adorable.

58. Nothing makes a better table runner than of the sunset at Calvary.

Well, at least the sunset’s pretty among the 3 crosses. But I think you might want to play it safe with Easter eggs and bunnies.

59. Why not use Easter eggs to decorate a straw hat on your door?

You can even use a small bunny and Easter grass for extra touches. Not something you see every day.

60. This little bunny has dug up a carrot.

Let’s hope it’s a wild carrot. Though you have to admire the flowers on this wreath.

61. A 3-tier server is always great for a few birds’ nests.

There’s even a birdhouse on the bottom. Makes a rather rustic centerpiece. But you have to love the bird.

62. Nothing on Easter welcomes you like a wreath with a vibrant flower.

Well, this is more for spring than Easter. But it’s a wreath that sure makes an impression.

63. This amigurumi Easter Bunny has a basket of eggs for you.

The eggs and basket are also crocheted. I’m sure any little kid would want to cuddle this. So cute.

64. Light up your home with this Easter Bunny glass block light.

Includes some fuzz with a bow, ears, and feet. Also, its face is so adorable.

65. How about some purple on your cross Easter wreath?

Well, purple symbolizes the penitential season of Lent. Though it’s also my favorite color. So it goes on this post.

66. Nothing makes Easter worthwhile than a crocheted basket of crocheted eggs.

Sure the eggs won’t contain candy. But you won’t have to worry about dropping them either. Also, love the flowers on the basket.

67. This Easter egg table runner comes in a flowery shade.

Seems like I have a lot of table runners on this post. Though at least the eggs on here use plain stripes.

68. Have fun for hours with an assortment of bunny chalk.

Made from Necco candies. Okay, I was kidding on that one. Comes in several different colors.

69. While you may not have a lot of flowers in your garden on Easter, you can easily use these.

They’re made from wooden panels and are put on sticks. Will certainly stand out for passing drivers and neighbors.

70. Wonder if the Easter Bunny will be drawn by this carrot patch.

Okay, the carrots are fake and the sign is only decorative. But I think this is a rather creative set up.

71. Perhaps your Easter egg tree can do with a few feathers.

That might seem a little too much for my taste. But whatever, to each his own.

72. Nothing makes an Easter wreath like a bunny among the flowers.

For some reason, I have quite a few bunny wreaths on here. Well, one more isn’t going to hurt.

73. With some eggs, you can paint all kinds of crazy patterns.

You can also paint the stands quite outrageously as well. Not my favorite, but an interesting addition nonetheless.

74. Remember the resurrection with this Easter cushion pillow.

Depicts a sheep with 3 crosses. Includes a tag saying “He is Risen.”

75. Don’t leave for the Easter parade without a pair of bunny ears.

Unless you’re planning on wearing an Easter bonnet, of course. Though this pair is quite elaborate with flowers.

76. With lilies and thorns, this is a fine cross, indeed.

Even like the background to give it a sacred presence. Though I’m not sure if it’s possible for a living room.

77. A fancy cross should go well on a wreath of flowers.

Well, Easter is a religious holiday. And I really like the cross and tulips on this one. So it goes on the post.

78. Wonder what these bunnies are doing in these flower boxes.

Well, each of these has a bunny getting into the flowers. And you can only see their behinds.

79. This wreath has eggs everywhere but only few in the nest.

Yes, it’s another blue egg wreath. But this one has eggs all over it and no flowers. Like the nest.

80. This bunny prefers to be on the wagon.

Well, this is an interesting display. Hope he doesn’t hop off it. Because this is adorable.

81. No one can resist this bunny in a basket.

Well, it’s a hanging basket with some naturalistic touches. But the bunny is so cute with its floppy ears.

82. Grace your table with this Easter Bunny spread.

Has Easter eggs all around the edges while the bunny is in the center. Great for any Easter occasion.

83. Bunnies can make themselves at home in a moss pot flower patch.

Well, we have two bunnies in the flowers and two bunnies outside. Still, I think this is quite lovely.

84. This twig is a perfect hangout for pom pom chicks.

Well, this is quite simple and doesn’t require much effort. Also, who can’t resist these little fuzzy chickies?

85. From this cup come eggs, chicks, and flowers.

Yes, it certainly seems to defy the laws of physics. Though it may not have been possible without glue and some sort of mold.

86. You can’t celebrate Easter without some wooden peeps.

Each one has its own little bow tie and sparkles. Still, you have to love these though the candy inspiration is inedible.

87. A colorful bunny and egg should always be on an Easter wreath.

Helps that the bunny and egg have some colorful stripes. Love this one. So cute.

88. You can’t hang a straw hat on your door without some spring flowers.

Though you can’t wear this hat. Nevertheless, it’s a true work of art.

89. This Easter urn gives some shelter for the birds.

Well, it has a few small birdhouses among the flowers. Though it certainly makes a magnificent bouquet.

90. May this little white birdhouse usher in the Easter spirit of spring.

It’s a more rustic decoration containing a nest. But it’s one you might want for your home.

91. What’s that bunny doing in that large nest?

Well, at least it fits. Though not sure what I think about the plants. And the rabbit’s ears seem a bit long.

92. For getting closer to nature, dried flower wreaths are best.

Well, at least they’re dried spring flowers. Though not sure if you can make it when Easter comes around.

93. Sometimes an Easter Bunny wreath has to be a bit fuzzy.

And fuzzy, this one certainly its. Got to love how it seems so easy to make. Cute.

94. I’m sure this bunny ear decoration will get you in a festive mood.

Well, it certainly has a spring festive air to it. Nice it includes white fuzzy ears. Makes a great centerpiece.

95. Nothing says Easter like its letters descending in a pastel rainbow.

You can even put some eggs on a few. Nevertheless, it’ll sure be a hit with your guests.

96. A large wooden cross in your front lawn shows how much you take Easter seriously.

Though it might make some neighbors scratch their heads about you. Also, the purple symbolizes Lent, by the way.

97. Wish everyone a happy Easter with this quilted tapestry.

Of course, it contains bunnies, flowers, and eggs. So feel free to hang it somewhere.

98. Nobody could resist this little bunny on a lit glass block.

Nice that it’s surrounded by spring flowers. And it looks oh so adorable.

99. There’s nothing so beautiful in nature than finding a nest among the flowers.

Of course, birds don’t lay that many eggs at one time. Though you have to love the flowers.

100. A crocheted bee wreath can always keep you buzzing.

Sure it’s more of a spring wreath. Though Easter is a time for flowers. Also, this is adorable.

Vintage Saint Patrick’s Day Greetings of the Emerald Isle

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 20, 2017

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As you probably know by now, people have always been sending greeting cards to each other during certain holidays. And Saint Patrick’s Day was no exception to that, especially in the days before the Internet. We should also note that in the olden days, the 19th century was a very terrible time in Ireland that a series of unfortunate events, most notably the Irish Potato Famine of the 1840s prompted a mass diaspora from there to other parts of the world such as the United States. But they also found new homes in other places like the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, and even Latin America. And it’s because so many Irish immigrants came to these parts of the world that Saint Patrick’s Day is such a widely celebrated holiday. This is particularly the case in the 19th century when so many Irish Americans were either immigrants or related to one where we first see many of these celebrations get started like the Saint Patrick’s Day parades in places like Boston, New York, and Pittsburgh. So it’s not unusual to see Saint Patrick’s Day greeting cards around either. And though I could go all I want about these lovely works of Hallmark art, I understand you’d probably be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll stick to the ones that might make people scratch their heads. We should also note that the 19th century was a time when offensive Irish stereotypes proliferated which have now manifested in modern depictions on leprechauns to much Irish disdain. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of Saint Patrick’s Day cards from the days of old.

“God bless dear/old Ireland our home/And all her Sons/Where’er they roam.”

For some reason this kid has the disposition of a future serial killer. There is now soul within those Irish eyes.

2. “See my flag and see my hat./Sure you’re right! My name is Pat.”

Another soulless Irish lad. Seems like he’s using his superficial innocence to play you for a fool before stabbing you in the back. Don’t be taken in.

3. Even Santa Claus has a bit of Irish in him.

How can Saint Nick be Irish, I have no idea. But I don’t think dressing up as a leprechaun will endear him to the good Irish boys and girls.

4. A Saint Patrick’s Day greeting and wait a minute, that doesn’t look like an Irish flag.

Okay, I had to look this flag up on Google. According to a historical flag site, it's the Saint Patrick's Cross flag used by the Irish National Corporate Party of the 1930s known as the "Greenshirts." And it was an openly fascist organization. So though it's seen as a traditional Irish flag before then, it hasn't been used in Ireland since.

Okay, I had to look this flag up on Google. According to a historical flag site, it’s the Saint Patrick’s Cross flag which was allegedly used by the Irish National Corporate Party of the 1930s known as the “Greenshirts.” And it was an openly fascist organization. So though it’s seen as a traditional Irish flag before then, it hasn’t been used in Ireland since.

5. May luck bestow blessings upon you the way leprechauns shower shamrocks from blimps.

Yes, I know it looks ridiculous. But blimps have appeared on a variety of greeting cards during this period. Not sure why.

6. Nothing brings in the spirit of Saint Patrick’s Day like an Irish lass riding a white pipe.

And she’s riding it like a horse as if she’s in someone’s drug induced pipe dream. I’m sure someone was high off some opium binge to come up with this idea.

7. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day from high up in the shamrock plane.

Not sure if you can really fly that thing or whether it’s safe to stand up in it. In any case, if these two survive a crash, consider them lucky.

8. “Me Irish eyes are smilin.'”

Hate to say this, but Irish Mr. Potato Head looks so damn creepy. Like he’s out to get you during a hangover kind of way.

9. Saint Patrick’s Day greetings from the nightmarish green woman holding a shamrock wreath.

Sorry, but pale green skin makes her seem like a bride of Dracula than an Irish angel. I’m sure she’ll haunt many Irish dreams.

10. On Saint Patrick’s Day, it’s customary to get all shamrocked out.

She even has a shamrock dress on. And a yellow hat with shamrocks on it. I’m sure Lady Gaga would wear the same thing.

11. An Irishman always likes to see his lass in a shamrock dress.

The fact a lot of women’s dresses were shaped like that at the time was coincidental. Though this is kind of ridiculous.

12. These Irish kids would like to bestow a Saint Patrick’s Day greeting.

I’m sure little Patty is giving little Molly some clover because she wants to see her tits and look up her skirt. And Molly knows it.

13. Irish couples always know when to get it on during Saint Patrick’s Day.

However, whether the guy practiced consent is another matter. But she doesn’t seem to mind because he’s hot.

14. May Saint Patrick’s Day make you a lucky frog on March 17th.

I have no idea what the frog has to do with Saint Patrick’s Day. Is it because it’s green. Other than that, not much else.

15. Erin Go Bragh for this pair of newlyweds.

Who seem to resemble a couple you’d find in a creepy illustration of some Gothic novel. Though they do seem terrifyingly happy together.

16. This garden gnome wishes you a lucky Saint Patrick’s Day.

You better because this gnome might want to kill your cat sometime. His eyes only show pure evil.

17. “St. Patrick’s Day and I wish you luck.”

Now I understand the oversized shamrock. But the small pig? Not so much.

18. “Nothing slow for the likes of us.”

So this card implies that the Irish are bad drivers? Seems to be the case.

19. “Good luck on Saint Patrick’s Day.”

Let’s just say disembodied Cabbage Patch doll heads aren’t what you’d want to put on a St. Paddy’s Day card. Oh wait, those are potatoes.

20. Saint Patrick’s Day Greetings from the woman with the giant pipe.

And that pipe is making a smoky haze. But I don’t think she’s bringing luck but lung cancer. Seriously, what’s with the large pipe?

21. “Tis the shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day/ That bring back memories dear and gay.”

Though the kid’s expression on his face reads something more sinister. And no, I don’t think he’s musing about Ireland either.

22. Some tourists in Ireland would go to great lengths to kiss the Blarney Stone.

But using a rope harness is kind of ridiculous. Seriously, please don’t try this. Ever.

23. It’s always grand to watch the Saint Patrick’s Day parade.

However, this doesn’t change the fact the Irish here are depicted in a very disparaging way. And that there’s booze depicted along the border.

24. Saint Patrick’s Day is always a time to celebrate.

Now this couple looks rather cartoonish. Guess card designers of the time couldn't resist putting in Irish stereotypes after all.

Now this couple looks rather cartoonish in caricature. Guess card designers of the time couldn’t resist putting in Irish stereotypes after all.

25. “May the corners of yer mouth never turn down.”

Apparently. people in the 19th century thought old Irish ladies resembled witches who’d own candy houses to lure kids they’d cook for dinner. Seriously, this is in very poor taste if you ask me.

26. “Here’s to the Auld Sod,/An’ shamrock so green,/Th’ land ave Saint Patrick,/Th’ Emerald Queen.”

Hmm…a jolly Irish guy dressed like a leprechaun with a glass of booze. Not something I’ve seen before (sarcasm).

27. How about an old Irish jig?

Is that guy dancing with a club in his hand? If so, is it to clobber any guy who wants to dance with his girlfriend? I need answers.

28. “An may ye always feel as gay as I do on Saint Patrick’s Day.”

In other words, “plastered drunk.” Yes, the Irish drunk is on a Saint Patrick’s Day card. I believe this card was sent to the Irish in people’s lives they hated.

29. “Never a girl so sweet as an Irish girl.”

And in Ireland, you’ll find Irish girls come in 3 different varieties such as blond, brunette, and redhead. As this pipe shamrock smokescreen can show.

30. Saint Patrick’s Day is always a time of Irish love.

Though I’m not sure whether they’re supposed to be dancing or making out. Can go either way.

31. Even Cupid would like to get in the Saint Patrick’s Day celebrations.

For the love of God, Cupid, Valentine’s Day is over. Seriously, what the hell are you doing on a card for St. Patrick’s Day. It’s not your holiday.

32. Saint Patrick’s Day is a merry time in dear old Ireland.

Yet, this guy happily wields his club when he’s walking his pig. No, I don’t think Irishmen are like this.

33. Irish couples always seem to enjoy a bit of blarney.

However, the guy in this card seems to remind me of a creepy old man for some reason. Not sure why.

34. On Saint Patrick’s Day, Uncle Sam loves to make out with his Irish lass.

Yes, I know this is at a purely symbolic angle. However, Uncle Sam is supposed to look like a skinny old guy. So you get the creepy vibes.

35. Shamrock head would like to wish you a Saint Patrick’s Day greetings.

But instead of bringing you luck, it’ll bring you nightmares. Seriously, why?

36. Speaking of Uncle Sam, here he enjoys an Irish toast.

I know this is supposed to be a gesture of Irish and American friendship. But the Irish guy is represented by an oversized leprechaun.

37. There’s nothing on Saint Patrick’s Day like a peaceful rowboat ride.

Yet, we find this Irishman in a boat with 2 women which is about to capsize. Wonder what it says about him.

38. Best wishes on Saint Patrick’s Day from the clover kids.

So I bet this card was made possible by acid trips. Not sure how else I can explain it.

39. “I’m thinking of Old Erin tonight/Of the dear little cot by the sea/for the shamrock on St. Patrick’s Day/Still bringing back memories to me.”

However, I’m sure the woman is like, “Sorry, but I’m not interested so get your stupid hand off me.” Yeah, I don’t think she’s happy.

40. Here’s looking at you on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Because nothing says Saint Patrick’s Day like a pair of eyes staring at you through a shamrock. Now that’s very unsettling.

41. “Here’s to the toast in th’ rosy cup/To Swatehearts far across the sea/Wid wine ave hope/We fill it up/An’ drink to days that yet may be.”

Another depiction of an Irishman drinking. I know it’s an offensive stereotype that never seems to die.

42. How about a toast to Ireland on Saint Patrick’s Day?

Yes, it looks like a toast. But we all know what’ll happen afterwards.

43. “Let our hearts be young at the dawning/of Saint Patrick’s Day in the morning.”

The guy in this card isn’t drawn very well. Yes, he’s supposed to look happy. But his expression is more terrifying. And holding the club doesn’t help.

44. Nothing makes one feel lucky on Saint Patrick’s Day like pilfering a pig.

For some reason, pigs were seen as symbols of luck back in the day. Not sure why.

45. “The sweet little green little shamrock of Ireland.”

Don’t look now but I think the man might have eyes on the girl with ill intent. The girl should run away while she still can.

46. Saint Patrick’s Day is always marked by the wearing of the green.

And in here even the bird of prey is green. Nevertheless, the woman has a rather oversized head for some reason.

47. “Saint Patrick was a gentleman.”

For the love of God, this kid looks like a pure monster in a little suit. Avoid him like the plague.

48. On Saint Patrick’s Day, the whole world looks upon Ireland.

Don’t tell me that’s a crazed Santa Claus dressed in leprechaun garb. Might need to calm down a bit.

49. There’s room for everyone on the Shamrock blimp.

Though why anyone would disregard any notion of safety is a good question. Hope they’re lucky to have parachutes.

50. You never know what you’d find on Saint Patrick’s Day.

I’m sure that guy is interested in watching the girl beside him peeling potatoes. Then again, he probably has his eyes stuck somewhere else.

Top of the Morning with These Lucky Saint Patrick’s Day Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 17, 2017

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Now it’s on to some lucky craft projects. When it comes to looking for holiday crafts for a blog post, I often find myself running into stuff geared toward children. And Saint Patrick’s Day was no exception. Of course, I understand these are designed for parents and teachers looking for child appropriate activities for the holiday. But for a blogger like me, running into them can be a major pain in the ass since I usually focus on craft projects made by adults like what you see above. Nevertheless, it’s always something I have to deal with when coming up with such posts. Anyway, I don’t usually go all out for Saint Patrick’s Day, but I’m sure there are plenty people who do. And last year, I did a Saint Patrick’s Day craft post that received a nice reception as far as I’m concerned. I mean it got 7 likes from WordPress bloggers. So this time, I decided to do another since I had many craft pictures left over. So for your reading pleasure, I give you some more Saint Patrick’s Day craft projects for good luck.

Felt 4-leaf clovers always make great centerpieces.

Each of them is in a different shade of green. And they’re all supported by a pole on a green block.

2. Grace your lucky front door this Saint Patrick’s Day with this green ribbon wreath.

Includes ribbons of different patterns as well as shamrocks. Lovely to put on any front door or on a wall.

3. Of course, one large 4-leaf clover can make Irish eyes smile.

If you like wreaths and don’t care for the fancy stuff, this is for you. Just consists of a burlap wreath, a shamrock ribbon, and a wooden 4-leaf clover.

4. No Saint Patrick’s Day decoration makes you feel more lucky than a wooden long bearded leprechaun.

Sure he may not lead you to a pot of gold. But you have to admire his long red beard and hat.

5. Bring the luck of the Irish to your home by hanging this shiny golden horseshoe.

Of course, you wouldn’t want the luck of the Irish if you lived in the 19th century. When many Irish immigrants fled their home country due to poverty, civil unrest, British oppression of Irish Catholics, and a deadly potato famine.

6. A lucky grapevine wreath should always include shamrocks.

Well, you can’t have enough shamrocks, can you. Love the green ribbon on this.

7. This pallet leprechaun will bring a smile to your face.

After all, he’s smiling. Because he’ll never lead you to his pot of gold which may not exist.

8. Green flowers always make a Saint Patrick’s Day wreath worthwhile.

Not sure what to think about green flowers. Sure they exist, but they don’t seem natural to me. Maybe I’m more used to seeing green foliage. I don’t know.

9. A green yarn wreath has shamrocks all around.

The shamrocks are made of felt and are tied down with yarn. At any rate, consider yourself lucky to have a decoration like this. Supposing you do.

10. No girl on Saint Patrick’s Day should go without bows like these.

Consists of green bows with sequin gold shamrocks and rainbows. What more can an Irish girl want?

11. If you wish to make Saint Patrick’s Day a festive occasion, this wreath is for you.

Has a large green bow, green leprechaun hats, and a large green shamrock. Great for parties, though it might get destroyed in the process if there’s a lot of alcohol.

12. Keep your candy safe with this leprechaun candy dispenser.

Sure they usually store gumballs. But this one holds almond Hershey’s kisses. Nice how it comes in a gold wrapper.

13. Have old wine bottles? A green one makes a great Saint Patrick’s Day bottle lamp.

I’m sure a green wine bottle isn’t hard to find among your recyclables. Though I love the shamrock touch.

14. With a sign like this, everyone can see how lucky you are.

Nice how the letters are in plaid and covered with shamrocks. So stunning.

15. Keep your things in good order with this shamrock rainbow basket.

The outside is covered with string as you can see. Sure it’s a kid’s project but it’s adorable.

16. A Saint Patrick’s Day wreath should always contain green flowers.

Okay, like I said, green flowers are strange. But since we’re talking about Saint Patrick’s Day, this is appropriate. Besides, the flowers are fake anyway.

17. A block display of “Luck” should always contain a golden horseshoe.

Well, certainly seems rustic to me. Not sure about the paint job on the other letters though.

18. A St. Patrick’s Day decomesh wreath should have different colored shamrocks.

Well, there’s at least one gold one. But the wreath is also decked in some green ribbons, too.

19. A leprechaun flower pot is great for a bouquet.

Okay, this one is rather tall. And the flowers are most definitely fake. But at any rate, makes a great centerpiece.

20. A shamrock made of panels is as good as any other.

Though you might want to be sure to paint it green. And to put a ribbon with small shamrocks on it for extra luck.

21. A grapevine St. Patrick’s Day wreath can always add some festive flair.

Another one with fake green flowers along with green ribbons. Wouldn’t mind having this on my front door.

22. A Saint Patrick’s Day wreath of decomesh will wow your visitors.

This one has a large shamrock and an Irish Blessing attached. Also, has other green decorations.

23. Nothing says Saint Patrick’s Day like a green wreath.

Well, not sure what it’s made from exactly. Probably burlap. But the shamrock ribbon adds a nice touch.

24. As spring is around the corner, a St. Patrick’s wreath of tulips seems appropriate.

Includes a glittery green pipe and a leprechaun hat. But at least the small tulips are white, not green.

25. Nothing makes Irish eyes smile like a glittering rainbow.

Well, it’s made from wood and may not always be used for Saint Patrick’s Day. But don’t bet you’ll find a pot of gold here.

26. Is that a little leprechaun here for a visit?

You can’t see his face. But his clothes are made from felt. So adorable.

27. A leprechaun hat always makes a wonderful display of Irish pride.

Though not in Ireland since they don’t care for leprechauns there. However, this felt hat is quite fancy and whimsical.

28. Putting a leprechaun on your Saint Patrick’s Day wreath brings good luck.

Of course, you don’t see all of the leprechaun. But this is a rather charming wreath nonetheless.

29. Even a snowman can wish anyone a happy St. Patrick’s Day.

However, unless it’s the polar regions, a snowman on St. Patrick’s Day isn’t long for this world. Since the coming spring ensures his demise if global warming hadn’t already.

30. A wreath of green flowers and shamrocks brings a quaintness in the air.

Again, not used to the green flowers. But I do like the shamrocks and ribbons.

31. Have your little lass keep warm this Saint Patrick’s Day with a crocheted hat.

Then again, I’m not sure if these are made for kids or not. Though you have to love the shamrock decor.

32. For a flashy St. Paddy’s Day, this green tulle wreath is for you.

I swear I’ve seen that green on PennDOT workers at some point in my life. But I don’t think the shiny shamrocks help matters either.

33. Nothing shows Irish pride on St. Patrick’s Day like a yarn wreath of Kelly green.

Yes, this is another yarn wreath with shamrocks. But this one has fewer and is in a different green shade.

34. A green Saint Patrick’s Day bow should always give you the best of luck.

Has a ribbon that says “Saint Patrick’s Day” on it. Like the shamrock in the middle.

35. A large shamrock always belongs on a green wreath.

Yes, this is another decomesh wreath. But the shamrock is quite ornate that I just had to put it on this post.

36. Curl up this Saint Patrick’s Day with this crocheted blanket of shamrocks.

Sure it’s not the whole ting. But at least the shamrocks have 4 leaves on them.

37. On a St. Patrick’s Day yarn wreath gold should always be found at the rainbow.

Though these remind me more of gold flowers than gold coins. Nevertheless, this wreath is quite charming.

38. A white yarn St. Patrick’s Day wreath should have green flowers and ribbons.

My Saint Patrick’s Day craft post contained a wreath similar to this. However, it didn’t have some of the decorations though.

39. A simple shamrock hanging should always have a golden ribbon.

Sure it depicts a 3 leaf clover with 3 leaves of hearts. But it brings a rather quaint touch for any home.

40. A Saint Patrick’s Day wreath should bring you a fortune in gold.

Or in gold coins made from plastic used to decorate this wreath. But it’s quite creative and appropriate.

41. A mossy leprechaun hat on a door is an inviting sight.

I’m sure the moss is fake but it’s green and looks real. Like the golden shamrock though.

42. With empty green bottles, shamrock bottle tops will go quite nicely.

Not sure how to make the shamrock tops. But whoever did certainly has some interesting green bottles.

43. Seems like someone must’ve spilled some gold coins.

Okay, this is only a mere decoration and the coins aren’t real. But it’s certainly fitting for St. Paddy’s Day.

44. A Saint Patrick’s Day plate and glasses leaves Irish eyes a shining.

Of course, these are only used for display, not eating. But I’m sure who created these is a repressed art major.

45. Seems like we’ve found the leprechaun’s gold in this little flower pot.

Oh, wait. Those are spray painted rocks which aren’t worth anything. Yes, these leprechauns can be quite sneaky in their tricks.

46. This Saint Patrick’s Day, may the beads be always at your back.

You can put this wreath up during Mardi Gras if you want. Since it’s on the 28th. Though it might look a bit strange.

47. An owl on a Saint Patrick’s Day wreath is a great hoot.

This one even has green bows on its ears. But it doesn’t look too happy. Adorable.

48. There’s nothing luckier to have than this Saint Patrick’s Day star.

Yes, it has some shamrocks and green. But it’s not the rustic decor meant for the barn.

49. A 4-leaf moss shamrock is always a sight of great fortune.

Well, if I had to put a moss leprechaun hat, then I had to add a moss shamrock. Not sure if I like this one as much though.

50. Sometimes it’s best to express Irish pride in the simplest ways.

This one only entails a heart shaped wreath and a green ribbon. Great to put in any home.

51. No little leprechaun should go without a crocheted hat like this.

This little leprechaun hat even has a buckle in front. So cute.

52. Sometimes white flowers is all you need for a St. Patrick’s Day wreath.

But please include the green ribbon at the front so it’s for Saint Patrick’s Day. Lovely.

53. A zipper shamrock will make a very lucky pin.

Yes, this was made with zipper teeth. I know it looks simple. But it’s probably not.

54. A leprechaun should find this little green house warm and cozy.

Though we have to admit, this will probably be used to feed birds more than anything. But I love the facade.

55. A shamrock key chain makes a great good luck charm.

Because at least you can see your keys better with it. Made of felt with sequin decorations.

56. Welcome spring this Saint Patrick’s Day with this pin containing 3 flowers.

I bet the boy one is plainer so they can tell them apart. Still, love the flowers.

57. You’ll find a pot of gold in the middle of this wreath on St. Patrick’s Day.

Helps that the wreath is in polka dots and gold trim. And the pot of gold is green and shiny.

58. May you be guided by the ladder of luck this Saint Patrick’s Day.

There’s a lot of ladder sets for several occasions. But I just put this one up because I had a lot of wreaths already.

59. Looks like a we’ve found a leprechaun at his pot of gold.

I’m sure the gold coins are plastic and aren’t worth anything. But it’s a charming decoration nonetheless.

60. Nothing makes a leprechaun squirm like a large pot of gold.

Well, this is made from wood. But the green and shamrock give it a nice touch.

61. Hope this wooden leprechaun brings you great luck and good cheer.

Another wooden leprechaun. Then again, this one has more of a body. But his hat is definitely one you can see for miles.

62. A great St. Patrick’s Day wreath has lovely green felt flowers.

Well, if the flowers weren’t green it wouldn’t be for St. Patrick’s day. Love the button centers though.

63. This lucky sign includes a horseshoe for better days.

Well, it’s a pallet sign that’s not just for St. Patrick’s Day. Though St. Patrick’s Day is the perfect occasion for it.

64. You can’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day without donning a pair of shamrock earrings.

They also consist of 4 leaves to bring luck to you. Perhaps luck that you won’t be found somewhere on the street after a day drinking.

65. For a necklace to match, this pendant will do quite nicely.

Well, certainly goes with the earrings. Though it has a crystal drop underneath. Etsy listing, by the way.

66. This Saint Patrick’s Day, it’s best you put your green flowers in beer mugs.

Because whiskey shot glasses wouldn’t be sufficient. At one hand, it’s clever. On the other hand, might evoke bad Irish stereotypes.

67. With 3 leftover Valentine’s Day wreaths, you can make a shamrock.

Well, this is a 3 leaf one with a large bow. Might contain a few pearls among the green though.

68. Show your love for the Irish with this Saint Patrick’s Day mailbox decoration.

Make sure you live in a neighborhood that doesn’t have mailbox smashers before you do this. Because it might not turn out quite well.

69. There’s nothing that expresses St. Patrick’s Day quite like Scrabble tiles.

Yes, is a nice display as anything. However, I don’t really approve using game tiles for craft projects for obvious reasons.

70. A Saint Patrick’s Day wreath always brings good luck when it contains flowers.

This one has green, white, and yellow flowers to match as well as a horseshoe. Lovely.

71. With this sign of luck, your Saint Patrick’s Day will never dim.

Since the word “luck” is in lights like a marquee. Even has a shamrock to mark the occasion.

72. There’s nothing more colorful on St. Patrick’s Day like a tulle rainbow wreath.

Has all the colors as well as white for cloud and some extra green. And it’s all tied in a shamrock bow.

73. A Saint Patrick’s Day tree should have a pot of gold on top.

Also, has to be decorated with shamrocks and fake gold coins, too. By the way, this was made from tinsel garland.

74. Don’t like wreaths? How about a Saint Patrick’s Day door hanging of daisies?

Guaranteed to make an impression on guests this March 17. Love the green bow.

75. On this decomesh hanging, you can find gold at the end of the rainbow.

Well, maybe not literally. But you’ll find plenty of shamrocks though.

76. Those with leftover Valentine’s Day baskets might want to make their own shamrock like this.

Even has shamrocks coming out of it, too. Love the rainbow bow.

77. A green burlap wreath can never have enough shamrocks.

And this one certainly has them. Some are around it while some come up from the bow.

78. A lucky charm wreath can always make Irish eyes smile.

For those who aim for more whimsical decorations, this one is certainly for you. It’s all green with bows, gold coins, and shamrocks.

79. For a more naturalistic Saint Patrick’s Day wreath, try one of green hydrangeas.

On second thought, green hydrangeas aren’t very naturalistic. Though the petals can pass as leaves here.

80. On Saint Patrick’s Day, leprechauns are always welcome.

And here we have a leprechaun welcome sign. Still, might want to start charging them if you want their gold.

81. Nothing makes your guests feel happy on St. Paddy’s day like this puppy bouquet.

Though an Irish wolfhound pup would’ve been more appropriate. But sometimes you have to take what you can get.

82. Greet visitors this Saint Patrick’s Day with a wreath of felt flowers and shamrocks.

Consists of flowers on top and shamrocks on the bottom. Think it’s quite charming and quaint.

83. Nothing brings the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day like a rainbow wreath and a pot of gold.

Well, this one’s in decomesh. But I couldn’t pass this one up on Pinterest for good reason.

84. With this St. Patrick’s Day ladder, every hour is happy hour.

Includes rainbow, shamrock, and a beer mug. Still, might bring you luck with “Irish You Were Beer.”

85. Leprechaun shoes are always great for flowers.

Might want to attach pinwheels now that you’re at it. Flowers are most likely fake though.

86. How about a tree with gold coins and shamrocks.

May not give you luck. But it would sure make a fine centerpiece at a party.

87. With this horseshoe, you’d have all the luck you need.

This one has only 3 shamrocks on it. But you also have to love the bows.

88. Capture the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day with a bouquet of shamrocks.

Because nothing denotes St. Patrick’s Day like it. Love how they’re in a bucket.

89. A shamrock hanging should always come with flowers.

Makes a nice bouquet doesn’t it? Even includes an Irish blessing.

90. Cuddle up this Saint Patrick’s Day with your very own button shamrock pillow.

The shamrock here is made of buttons of all sizes. Love it.

91. Show your love for St. Patrick’s Day with some Irish sheep.

You can tell they’re Irish because they have shamrocks on their butts. Okay, I was just kidding. Yet, these are quite original.

92. A St. Patrick’s Day birdhouse should always include a horseshoe.

Because a horseshoe is a sign of luck. The green paint job gives this one a rustic feel.

93. There’s nothing on Saint Patrick’s Day like this shamrock pillow.

Seems like it was based on a kid drawing. Then again, it’s probably part of the charm.

94. Nothing shows Irish pride like a quilt of the Emerald Isle.

Includes Irish features as you can see here along with the map of the land itself. Definitely a sight to behold.

95. Speaking of quilts, check out this shamrock one in purple.

Yes, I know the color isn’t quite right since it’s not green. But it includes shamrocks so it goes on this post.

96. Catch the sunlight with this shamrock suncatcher.

Contains a stained glass 4-leaf clover for the sun to shine through. Love it.

97. On this Saint Patrick’s Day wreath, what comes from a leprechaun’s hat comes down a rainbow.

And the rainbow leads to a pot of gold. Yes, I have a lot of wreaths on here. But I just couldn’t miss this one.

98. With this sign, may you always have luck on this St. Patrick’s Day.

This is from an Etsy listing. But you have to admire the artistic detail. Like the white shamrock.

99. Impress your lucky guests this Saint Patrick’s Day with this shamrock and coin table runner.

Great for parties and mantle displays. Though you might want to keep it away from the alcohol.

100. For calming words of wisdom, this glass block has an Irish blessing.

Great for added illumination during tough times like these. Lovely.

The Wonderful World of Vintage Ads (Fourth Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 8, 2017

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The beginning of this year hasn’t been good to me other than Netflix premiering A Series of Unfortunate Events and finally getting to see Rogue One of course. For the nation, we saw the end of a great presidency and the swearing of a president who I strongly believe has absolutely no conscience, has no reason to be trusted, and probably has no idea how to run the country. Oh, and his presidency has a chance to embolden white supremacists as well as inspired mass protests. On Sunday this week, the nation witnessed the Atlanta Falcons nearly winning the Super Bowl before unbelievably seizing defeat in the jaws of victory against the New England Cheetahs, excuse me, I mean Patriots. And to insult to injury, Deflategate Quarterback Tom Brady received another MVP trophy. Yes, it always sucks to see this wretched team win outside of New England of course. For me, personally, I lost my grandfather on the week of my 27th birthday which was sad and somewhat sudden but not unexpected since he was 89. Yet, his loss certainly leaves a big void in my family as well as my life. And that my birthday was on his viewing while his funeral was the next day. So perhaps it would be nice of me to perhaps put some fun blog posts in for once just to hold myself over until after Valentine’s Day. Though McDonald’s has already released their shamrock line already which I believe is premature. And I thought nothing would be better than another vintage ad post. Yes, I know these are crazy nostalgia busting ad pieces are things you can’t unsee. But please, we should understand that they belong to a time when many people consider America great that they voted a billionaire devil in ugly orange hair who brags about grabbing women by the pussy in order to make America great again. In truth, that time they nostalgize about really wasn’t that great as these ads show. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of questionable vintage advertising. Enjoy.

A Kiddie-Coop keeps your baby safe and sound.

For some reason, it reminds me of a cage you’d keep your pet rabbit in. Or is it a pet turtle?

2. Satisfy your sadistic urges with a Whizooka roach gun.

Warning: Might contain poisonous chemicals that might make your family ill or kill your pets. Might affect other wildlife populations as well. Please use responsibly.

3. Stevens: the choice of gun for any child soldier.

Okay, this kid doesn’t look like he’s on a duck hunt. His expression is more akin of Paul Baumer from All Quiet on the Western Front.

4. Give her a gift she’ll truly appreciate forever like her very own garbage disposal.

To be fair, it’s probably not the worst thing to give a woman on Valentine’s Day. But it’s not one that inspires true romance.

5. “Should I leave you on the doorstep, Mom?”

Because nobody shames mothers into using a product like introducing a freaky alternative reality. I think Johnson & Johnson hired real basket cases to do this ad.

6. Men, do you enjoy engaging in spousal abuse for kicks? The BPA Fun Center is the place for you.

Okay, I get that this ad doesn’t intend to promote domestic violence against women at any time. It’s supposed to be for a place like Dave & Busters. But the slogan is just so wrong.

7. Campbell’s Soup: the #1 soup for the budding child psychopath.

Because there’s nothing that your budding psychokiller won’t enjoy more than some very salty chicken noodle soup. Campbells Mmmmm….salt.

8. Dr. Pepper is always healthy and invigorating that you’d want to get naked at the beach.

So in the early 1900s it was perfectly okay to feature naked women in order to sell stuff. And they thought women wear to little in our advertising.

9. Keep yourselves healthy all winter long with a GE sunlamp.

The baby in the doctor’s outfit is quite freaky if you ask me. Also, I’m not sure if sun lamps are good for you anyway.

10. Thanks to Planetary Pencil Pointer, a woman can now sharpen her pencil.

Uh, sharpening pencils doesn’t require a lot of physical strength to begin with. Even if you don’t use a crank. Seriously, this is just sexist garbage. But at least it comes from a company whose name is quite fitting.

11. Thanks to DDT, this baby no longer has to worry about the pesky flies.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t say the same for the other baby creatures out there. Since DDT has led to thinning eggshells on multiple birds of prey who eat fly infested vermin. This has put a lot of animals on the Endangered Species List.

12. Doctors agree that Camel cigarettes are great for a child’s health and life expectancy.

Yes, the little girl thinks she’ll live to be a hundred when she starts smoking. But what’s more likely to happen is that she’ll probably end up with a slew of respiratory problems before dying of lung cancer before reaching 60.

13. Problems in your sex life? Well, look no further than in the self-help book Eugenics and Sex Harmony.

Not recommended for ethnic minorities, poor people, and the disabled. Who shouldn’t be having feeble minded kids anyway. Seriously, what else does eugenics mean?

14. Horton’s furniture says let him worry about Vietnam while you ladies think about getting a new sofa.

To be fair, women weren’t subjected to the draft in the late 1960s. However, this ad is incredibly sexist just the same for obvious reasons.

15. Finally, a scrapbook for the “Homely Woman,” only so they know how to pass as pretty.

Because, ladies, if you can’t be a delicate flower who can fit in a suffocating corset, then no man will want you. By the way, if it helps you, Eleanor Roosevelt wasn’t considered a great beauty in her day but managed to find a man anyway. Even if he was her 5th cousin who cheated on her.

16. Enhance your respiratory capabilities with a wonderful lung expander.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like this boy is taking in air through a vacuum resembling a flying saucer. Makes me scratch my head.

17. A Singer sewing machine is sewing made easy.

While Mom teaches little Susie how to use this thing, little Susie wants to know how she can use this machine to knock down little Timmy from across the street. Because she doesn’t see much use in sewing clothes.

18. Vigoro makes your lawn as good as it looks.

So go ahead let your toddler play outside with his diaper. Then again, from that boy’s look, I feel more for the cat.

19. Women, if your husband won’t have sex with you, you might be using the wrong vagina cleaner. So consider Zonite.

For some reason, I consider such ads about “feminine hygiene” that shames women for dirty private parts among the most sexist. These are clearly about shaming women for not keeping their vaginas clean enough. Good God.

20. Parker: making pens for women before Bic did. Because girls have smaller hands.

Ellen Degeneres did a whole comedy bit on this which was hilarious. Seriously, women have been using regular pens for years. The idea women need special pens for them is just stupid.

21. Champion’s Mustard: the perfect condiment for a midsummer’s night dream.

Are those supposed to be black? Because if they are, I have a bad feeling about this. Also, Bottom looks like he’s just wearing a donkey head.

22. Keep your kids from falling out of the car with a Dickson Rear automatic door lock.

Because this car surely didn’t come with a built-in child safety locks on the doors. Or seatbelts for that matter.

23. Incompatible really means “the wife has a dirty vagina problem.” So fix it withe Lysol.

So in olden days, doctors encouraged women to put cleaning products in their hoohahs. Jesus Christ, that's a really super dumb way to fix your relationship.

So in olden days, doctors encouraged women to put cleaning products in their hoohahs. Jesus Christ, that’s a really super dumb and dangerous way to fix your relationship. Marriage counseling would be safer.

24. Put your man at ease over causing the fender bender with a pie made from Jell-O pudding.

So Jell-O believes that women are bad drivers. What a bunch of sexist assholes.

25. Softness is what boys always find desirable in girls. So try Baby Soft.

Please let this girl be at least 18. Also, why the hell do they have an adult cosmetics like called Baby Soft? That’s just freaky.

26. Pratts Healing Ointment cures both man and beast.

However, going to bed with your horse, well, that’s not necessarily encouraged. Seriously, that’s kind of sick if you think about it.

27. Do it on the floor with the love rug.

“The Love Rug strokes your bodies as you make love.” So how can a rug do that. Also, is that David Hasselhoff?

28. Killed your husband and need to getaway fast? Broadway Deluxe Cab is at your service.

It’s the cab service you call when you need to get out before the police arrive and find your prints all over the gun. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think this is an appropriate ad campaign in the least.

29. Wash your boy’s hair with Lucky Tiger Hair Tonic so he won’t lose it when he’s older.

Unfortunately, Lucky Tiger won’t prevent hair loss if baldness runs in your family. Because that’s determined by genetics, folks. But some will lose their hair earlier than others.

30. Keep your calls secret with a voice silencer.

Wonder how that works. I’m sure it won’t be effective if you’re on a party line.

31. Stop being bored by going on a trip to Disneyland.

After all, you probably need it as much as you need a hole in the head. Okay, that doesn’t send a very good message.

32. Thought your kid would be a different gender? Rexall’s got you covered.

So what if he was hoping for a boy and got a girl? I’m sure his daughter will appreciate the Panda bear teddy anyway. Also, kids are too young for all that sporting equipment anyway.

33. King Electric Furnaces are stacked for comfort so you can safely sit on one with your bare ass.

Well, I have to hand it for King in this case even though I usually don’t approve of naked women. But this one shows that you can sit on their furnace and not burn your ass off. What can be better than that.

34. Have your dogs get in shape while you drive with a “canine exerciser.”

As someone who’s watched Vacation, tying your dog to a car can constitute as animal cruelty and kill them. A canine exerciser is a great way to get your local Humane Society to hate you.

35. All these pretty women can’t find husbands because of one crucial problem.

I think I know where this is going. Let me guess, dirty vaginas? Seriously, why the obsession?

36. Nothing cures domestic squabbles like Arpege perfume.

From Tinsel Creation: “‘“Mommy, don’t cry… I’m sure Daddy’s giving you Arpège.’ Nothing sells a classic like the suggestion of domestic violence, apparently. Promise her anything…”

37. Sold digestive problems with Burdock’s Pills.

For some reason, this add suggests that your liver helps you shit. I’m not so sure whoever came up with this ad understands human anatomy.

38. Do you still beat your wife? Keep it up.

This is for a booklet titled, “Why You Should Beat Your Wife.” You read that right. This ad promotes domestic abuse, for God’s sake. What the hell?

39. Planning to kill your wife sometime soon? Get her an Albany Life insurance policy first.

The fact this ad features knives, pills, bleach, and a pillow makes it seem like this insurance company wants guys to kill their wives. Couldn’t they feature something less disturbing like funeral stuff?

40. Lavine soap gets things clean.

But please treat yourself to this naked kid about to strangle a swan with bare hands. Hey, that’s what it looks like to me.

41. Centaur Massage cologne is half-man, half-beast but all male.

It’s the kind of cologne an Ancient Greek man would want to be massaged with by a skimpy clad woman. Still, given a centaur’s body hair abundance, would anyone want to mate with one? Especially after what the centaurs might’ve done to Umbridge.

42. The hotter the day, the more you need Ethyl gasoline.

Note that Ethyl has become notorious for its tetraled gasoline which has contributed to a ton of deadly pollution in the atmosphere and posed significant health risks. The guy who invented this would later create CFCs that would cause a hole in the ozone layer.

43. Joy’s Cigarettes are great for your asthma.

In reality, they’ll only exacerbate your asthma and lead to other health problems that could kill you. And no, they’re not safe for children at all.

44. Remember, ladies, your bad breath will drive your man away.

I’m sure in plenty of relationships didn’t end because the woman had bad breath or used the wrong toothpaste. Also, what’s the spider web suppose to mean?

45. Need to stop for a few things? Keep your kids in the car while you visit a 7-Eleven.

Nowadays, keeping your kids in the car might get you arrested for child neglect during the summer. Because keeping your kids in a hot car is a major parenting no-no.

46. Now you can make your home gay with Gaytop table covers.

I’m sure this ad gets unintentional shits and giggles because “gay” has a different connotation these days. The smiling guy in the plaid shirt make this ad even funnier.

47. Zonite: the feminine hygiene product for whenever your ginie gets too dirty for lovemaking.

Whenever I see ads like this, I tend to wonder why were they so obsessed with women keeping clean vaginas. This is ridiculous.

48. A Sears Kenmore Stove is designed for wives but built for husbands.

So does this mean Kenmore thinks women belong in the kitchen? Because it sure seems like it.

49. “Are you sure I’d still be a virgin with Tampax?”

For the love of God, asking whether using Tampax hurts one’s virginity is like asking whether Harry Potter will lead kids to sorcery and devil worship. We both obviously know that such concepts are utterly ridiculous to even think about. Jesus Christ!

50. Save your marriage by changing to Lipton Tea.

No, I don’t think changing tea brands improves relationships. Except maybe during the American Revolution but otherwise not really.

51. Ladies, you can lose your man in a minute if you don’t wash your mouth with Listerine.

Look, if your man leaves you for having bad breath, then it’s more likely he’s the problem not you. And you’re probably better off without Mr. Shallowpants anyway.

52. Don’t let menstrual panic happen to you, use Modess sanitary napkins.

Sure women experience period leakage all the time and it’s embarrassing. However, this ad makes such worries severe enough for them to need a psychiatrist.

53. These days a girl doesn’t have to be pretty to be popular.

And I suppose you don’t have to be a good hospital to be popular. Seriously, why would a girl snorting cocaine be a good way for a hospital to advertise? Were they trying to say they have a good drug treatment center? Because this picture doesn’t make them look good at all.

54. Husband more frigid than usual but won’t say why? Maybe because it’s stinky down there.

Or that her husband’s head is literally frozen inside an ice cube. So I don’t think cleaning her privates will help her in this case.

55. For women who want a better figure, try Jantzen girdles.

Think of it as spanx in your grandmother’s time. Also, who the hell hangs up their laundry in their underwear? Not to mention, you can barely see it on her that her ass almost looks bare.

56. A woman should always make sure whether her panties are up to date.

So you mean a woman has to have the latest panties? Seriously, if her panties aren’t falling apart and fit her fine, then she doesn’t need new ones. Because what she wears underneath is nobody’s goddamned business.

57. Duraglas baby food shouldn’t leave a tiny bit to waste.

This baby’s like, “Please, don’t stick that into my mouth. Are you really not trying to poison me?”

58. Smoke all you want with Jolt cigarettes.

Because odds are, you won’t have much time in this world anyway. Since your chain-smoking habit will most likely cause you to die from lung cancer.

59. Do you inhale? Smoke Chesterfields.

Man, can’t believe this slogan was used to get people to buy cigarettes since it’s mostly used around pot smoking. Also, the woman doesn’t seem to have much on her.

60. Church toilet seats are always a stunning improvement.

“And it has easy handling so Ray won’t have to struggle putting it down after he pees.” Sorry, but I couldn’t resist.

61. Smoke Phillip Morris the throat tested cigarette.

I think my grandma recently talked about the creepy bellhop guy with the pack. And yes, he kind of belongs in a Stephen King novel.

62. Save money on women’s underwear during the JC Penny Father’s Day Sale.

It’s especially disturbing it has the line, “We have exactly what you need that will satisfy and bring a smile to your father’s face!” It’s almost as if this ad was tailor made for Ivanka Trump. Sorry, but that can’t be helped.

63. Iver Johnson Revolvers are the gun for the housewife left alone at night.

So a woman needs a gun to protect herself whenever someone knocks on the door. Sorry, but if you have to be armed to answer the door, you probably need to see a therapist.

64. Upset that all the thin girls get more attention, then reduce your ugly fat with Ry-Krisp.

What a way to fat shame a woman in public, jerkass? For God’s sake, she doesn’t look that bad and I’m sure some guys would find her attractive despite her weight.

65. Dr. Swift is an expert in health who’ll teach you how to improve your sex life with a fine gentle massage.

Pardon me for reading too into this but this ad comes off as promoting a 19th century sex talk. Because the guy obviously has his hands up a woman’s skirt. Okay, maybe it’s just a doctor exam.

66. Kids are always in the mood for toast and jam.

It’s just the kind of treat for the kid who just came home for torturing the cat. Or the neighbor kid who creepily peaks through your blinds.

67. Have your pooch travel in comfort with the “Bird-dog’s Palace.”

Because nothing shows you’re good with animals like attaching a cage to the side of your car. And having that cage sport barred windows.

68. Lighten the White Man’s Burden by using Pear’s Soap for cleanliness.

Because nothing brings the fresh smell of colonialism and culture superiority like Pear’s. Man, this is epically racist with nods to Imperialism.

69. The Gold Dust Twins are always the right brothers for cleaning.

But they’re the wrong brothers when it comes to promoting diversity and multiculturalism. Seriously, Gold Dust might want to retire their virulently racist mascots.

70. Keep your child safe in the car by tying them down to this safety harness.

Imagine what parents had to do to keep their kids safe in the car before they started requiring seatbelts. Probably won’t recommend it.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

Category Archives: Just for Fun