A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Red and Black”


Of course, the Baudelaires wonder why Dewey would tell him about his secret underwater library with a catalog consisting of the pond’s reflection. Well, considering the information they gathered, he thinks the kids should. He also compliments the kids assorted talents and how he needs people to invent, research, and cook. He also lets them know that Charles has been looking for them and that Hal is sort of a volunteer. Not to mention, the fact people do care about them. However, Klaus mentions that they were responsible for burning down Madame Lulu’s tent (despite they were forced to). But Dewey reassures the Baudelaires that they are “noble enough” and “That’s all we can ask for in this world.” As the little group stands crying, a taxi shows up carrying Jerome Squalor and Justice Strauss who have been following the kids since they parted company. Jerome has written a book about injustice and Count Olaf’s crimes called Odious Lusting After Finance. The kids are delighted despite that Jerome is Esme’s husband and definitely let them down by giving them up since he doesn’t like to argue. Not to mention, Justice Strauss almost unwittingly officiated an illegal marriage between Violet and Count Olaf in the first book. But since they’re nice people, the children forgive them. Yet, amid the hugging, Dewey still points out there are things to be done and reveals that he gave Sunny the Vernacularly Fastened Door which only he knows how to unlock. However, when the large clock strikes 1, someone has to show up to ruin the party.


Again, I turn to Les Miserables with “ABC Café/Red and Black” which pertains to Marius’s friends making fun of him for falling in love with Cosette while Enjorlas trying to convince everyone that their are more important things at hand like an armed insurrection against the government for the middle and lower classes. Let’s just say that Marius would be better off spending more time with his girlfriend. Still, keep in mind, this armed demonstration is the June Rebellion from the 1830s which Victor Hugo personally witnessed, not the French Revolution. Seriously, if you watch anything pertaining to Les Miserables, the clothing clearly comes from the 1800s. In this version, I have Dewey and the Baudelaires greet Justice Strauss and Jerome Squalor and talk about what’s to be done on Thursday.


“Red and Black” (ASOUE Version)

Why nobody
Told us anything about V.F.D.

Why do you tell
Us about your water catalog

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny
You’ve got so much info
You can invent, research, and cook
Which can’t be overlooked

The time is near
So near, it’s stirring the blood in their veins
And yet beware
Don’t let the doubt go to your brains

For the villains we fight are all dangerous foes
They want the Sugar Bowl and will do what they can
The will burn houses, take cash, and ruin our lives
But having them here makes them simpler to catch
We need a sign
Unite volunteers
Gathering right here
To bring them in line!

J.S. are late

Kids, hear me
Don’t think you’re here all alone
Folks come here looking for you

Dewey you see, we’re not so sweet
We burned Madame L’s library
We’re not as noble as you let on

You may be flawed
You may do wrong
You’re noble enough all along
That’s all we can ask in this world
Is that a taxi coming to stop
J.S. have made it after all
‘Cuse me as I make this call

It is time for us all
To decide who we are
Hello, Ms. Justice Strauss
Please to meet Jerome Squalor
Have you asked of yourselves
What’s the price you might pay?
I think you know
These Baudelaires, you say
The color of the world
Is changing day by day

Red – the blood of angry men
Black – the dark of ages past
Red – a world about to dawn
Black – the night that ends at last

Justice Strauss:
We’ve both looked for you
Since we saw you last
For we heard word
That you have come here at last
You may not even heard
How so many have watched you
As the days have gone fast
And what was right
Seems wrong
And what was wrong
Seems right

Jerome and Justice Strauss:

I feel my soul on fire

Jerome and Justice Strauss:

My world if Kit’s not there

Jerome and Justice Strauss

The color of desire

Jerome and Justice Strauss:

The color of despair

Baudelaires, you’re not naïve kids
I was inspired by my own wife
But now there is a higher call
I wrote a book of injustices you know
We strive toward a larger goal
Your little lives count after all

Red – the blood of angry men
Black – the dark of ages past
Red – a world about to dawn
Black – the night that ends at last

Well, Baudelaires, you’re nobler than us

Jerome, Justice S., our time is running short

Justice Strauss:
Spent all day looking for crows
Now what else you want to know?

We came here around night
It’s too dark to see some light

Sunny, I gave you that fancy door device

You know of the bad guys in this big hotel?

Justice Strauss:
I’ve tried some guests in my courtroom

Oh, dear.

And about those deadly shrooms

Do we need?

Only I know how to unlock that door

Well, that’s not good

So Sugar Bowl’s safe

Maybe you should tell us

Justice Strauss:
Once Thursday comes
It’s done
The villains will be in one place
They will be jailed
Justice is the sign we await

After Thursday, Count Olaf is already done
He’ll be behind bars with each passing year
No more stealing fortunes or setting off flames
You will see that day of salvation is near

The time is here
Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer
Let us volunteers have no doubts in our hearts
But a jubilant shout
They will come one and all
They will come when we call

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