As the Baudelaires get comfortable at the unfinished part of Heimlich Hospital, they try to figure out the notes the Quagmires had left them or at least the ones they’ve managed to salvage from Esme’s harpoon. But since their notes are incomplete and Hal mentioned the Snicket File, they decide to get the file believing it to be the answer to all their questions. However, due to Hal’s strange filing system and his insistence the files aren’t for reading, such task proves difficult. Another pressure on them is the new H.R. Director Mattathias, who’s actually Count Olaf, after he threw Babs out a window. And he’s announced that he’s conducting inspections around the hospital, making the kids panic. So the Baudelaires decide to steal Hal’s keys and break into the Library of Records at night. Using her ribbon and paper clips Sunny bit into, Violet creates a fake key ring she uses to fool Hal to get his keys, which they don’t feel particularly great about. But they feel it needed to be done. They next venture into the Library of Records where they search for the Snicket File. After some trial and error, they find it under B for “Baudelaire.” Inside they find a note on the front reading, “All thirteen pages of the Snicket file have been removed from the Library of Records for official investigation.” Except that’s not quite true since there’s a photo of the Baudelaire parents sometime before they were married standing in front of 667 Dark Avenue alongside Jacques and Lemony Snicket who doesn’t show his face and the man the kids have no idea who he is as well as a note above stating: “Because of the evidence discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor’s whereabouts are unknown.”

I decided to use Arlo Guthrie’s “Coming Into Los Angeles” which he performed at Woodstock. The original version is about his flight from London to Los Angeles that experienced turbulence which made the stewardesses drop chicken dinners from their trays. Not to mention, Arlo was sweating after discovering that one of the gifts he packed was contraband. Still, it became a soundtrack for a generation for blowing smoke in the face of authority. In this version, I have Violet singing about stealing Hal’s keys and breaking into the Library of Records with her siblings.

“Going in the Library of Records”

Sung by Violet Baudelaire

Break-in the Library of Records in dead of night
To find the Snicket File
To know V.F.D., Jacques Snicket, Count Olaf
Why our picture’s in that damn file

Going in the Library of Records to see
After duping Hal for his keys
Sorry about that, if you please
Mister records man, yeah

Heard Olaf’s voice is on the intercom
His inspections making us panic
Walking in the halls of the hospital
Seems like we need to do something drastic

Going in the Library of Records to see
After duping Hal for his keys
Sorry about that, if you please
Mister records man

Use my hair ribbon with some paper clips
Sunny can bend them to key shapes
Not sure if it’s hip to be making this night trip
Yet, Klaus says there’s no any way to

Going in the Library of Records to see
After duping Hal for his keys
Sorry about that, if you please
Mister records man

Looking in the Library of Records in dead of night
To Find the Snicket File
Look, for J, S, F, then to B for Baudelaire
Said there may be a fire survivor

Going in the Library of Records to see
After duping Hal for his keys
Sorry about that, if you please
Mister records man, all right