A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Heigh-Ho”

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In The Miserable Mill, Mr. Poe brings the Baudelaires to Paltryville which is a very depressing place full of bare trees with no undergrowth and houses with no windows. Nor is it listed on a map and there’s no guidebook of the place of any kind. Their new guardian is the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill whose name is utterly unpronounceable so he’s addressed as Sir. Anyway, once Mr. Poe dumps them off at the train station, the children go to the lumbermill where they learn that they’re to sleep and work there. Why anyone would think it’s perfectly fine for children to work at a dangerous place (particularly a baby like Sunny), I have no idea. But the conditions are beyond shitty. Even the ever optimistic Phil and the other workers question such a notion. Not only do mill employees endure long hours in a dangerous environment, their new foreman is a scumbag, they’ve never seen the owner in years, they’re paid in useless coupons, only take a 5 minute chewing gum break each day, and get beef casserole for dinner. But the Lucky Smells workers seem oddly complacent over the whole thing, despite how any normal adult would never agree to work under such terms and conditions.

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Perhaps a good song in this sequence would be “Heigh-Ho” from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Though in the original version, the seven dwarves work in a gem mine from dawn to dusk and yet they live in a cottage where they allow Snow White keep house for free. Makes you wonder what they’re working for or what their boss is like. Then again, in fairy tales, dwarves have always been associated with precious minerals and metals. Though J.R.R. Tolkein hated the dwarves portrayal in this 1937 Walt Disney movie. In this version, I have the Lucky Smells Lumbermill workers singing about their work day in a rather cheerful tune. But that’s supposed to create dissonance and highlight their strange complacency.

 

“Heigh-Ho” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by the Lucky Smells Lumbermill Workers

We work work work work work work work in our mill the whole day through
To work work work work work work work it what we really got to do
We’ve got a lot of bad accidents
If you split split split with a chainsaw or an ax
In a mill! In a mill! In a mill! In a mill!
Where a million wood planks stack!

We work work work work work work work from early morn till night
We saw saw saw saw saw saw saw up every log in sight
We saw up wood planks by the score
Got hundreds injured, sometimes more
But we don’t know what we saw’em for
We work work work a-work work

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off from work we go
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off from work we go
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho hum

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off from work we go
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off from work we go
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off from work we go
(Whistle)

Heigh-ho (until fade)

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