Yes, President Snow is a really nasty piece of work if you look at a lot of the terrible things he’s done. Nevertheless, he’s a human being like everyone else in the franchise. For instance, he has a family such as a granddaughter he dotes on. So it’s certainly verbatim that he was liked enough for someone to sleep with him to procreate. I mean having a granddaughter is kind of living proof of that. But still, just because he’s a grandpa doesn’t mean he’s a very nice guy. Because he’s basically evil incarnate. And besides, other than torturing Peeta to insanity, killing henchmen, unleashing his wrath to control the victors,  and forcing teens to fight to the death, he does a lot of other nasty shit as well.

For some rehash of what Snow likes to do throughout the series, I used “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music. Yeah, I know it’s a song sung by Julie Andrews about kittens. However, it’s been mercilessly parodied ever since. Part of the reason I did a favorite things for Snow was mostly due to a cartoon parody of Josef Stalin singing the exact same song (though the melody was altered so they wouldn’t be sued). Of course, I saw this when I was a kid. Nevertheless, I think Stalin and Snow would have a lot in common. Seriously, they both love torturing and systematic murder. Still, not sure if Snow could compete with Stalin’s body count.

 

“My Favorite Things” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by President Coriolanus Snow

 

Banning all hunting to deter killing critters

Fatally torturing Avoxes before prisoners

Forcing some teenagers fight to the death

I delight so much I get shortness of breath

 

Strong smelling, blood masking white roses

Publicly whipping poor people for poaching

Climbing to power by poisoning foes

These are some things that cure all my woes

 

Pimping out hot victors to their Capitol patrons

Ripping out tongues and enslaving some traitors

Threatening murder when I don’t get my way

These are some things that brighten my day

 

When some victors, destroy the arena

When I’m really mad

I simply imprison some of their loved ones

And then I don’t feel so bad

 

Water torture followed by electrocution

Using cold murder as my go to solution

Having my granddaughter over for tea

These are some things that please men like me

 

Hijacking prisoners and use them as weapons

Unleashing muttations as traps for rebels to step in

Nuking and wiping out District 12

These are some things that make me feel so well

 

Spying on citizens with surveillance cameras

Starving out districts for the Capitol’s distractions

Using young children as human shields

These are some things that give me the feels

 

When a victor wins by cheating

When I’m really mad

I simply kill off his loved ones back home

And then I don’t feel so bad.