Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Sixth Edition)

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This is me and my sister Molly in a Richmond restaurant during mid-December 2015. My parents and I were there for her graduation from VCU. Now she lives in Charlotte.

Christmas has always been a time for family and cherished memories. But unlike what you might see in the saccharine Hallmark movies that I try to avoid, life doesn’t always go that way. The big city career woman may go back to her hometown. But it’s very unlikely that she’ll meet a rugged man she’ll fall for, save a local Christmas tradition, and ditch her big city career and boyfriend for that guy. More likely, she’ll probably find people who never left her hometown hanging out at the local bar, some of them addicted to drugs, drinking like fishes, stuck in some low-income job, and/or dealing with some family dysfunction. The hunky guy she meets will probably be her ex she ditched for some good reason and he won’t be a hunk. There probably won’t be some Christmas tradition that needs saving. And she’ll definitely not ditch her whole life and move back to her hometown because women don’t do these things without much forethought. Or she’ll move back, settle down with the guy, and take a longer commute to work. Anyway for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of awkward family Christmas photos. Enjoy.

  1.  This year, these workers lay on top of each other.
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Indeed, they all smile in their Christmas glory. Though I don’t think you’d want to be the woman on the bottom.

2. Apparently, this dad doesn’t know how to hold his kid.

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For God’s sake man, don’t hold the baby that way. That just looks like you’re asking to be put on a sex offender list.

3. When everyone blinks at the camera at the same time.

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Then again, that might be part of the act. But it still seems pretty weird if you ask me.

4. Guess this Christmas dinner didn’t go well.

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Oh, there’s a hole in the wall. No wonder Christmas dinner sucked this year. The Griswolds these are not.

5. Someone’s obviously not going for the holiday cheer.

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Greta stood with her arms cross giving an eye of disapproval to her embarrassing parents. Knowing that she’ll be the class laughingstock if anyone from school saw this picture.

6. Unfortunately, Dad had been involved in a horrible accident this year.

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Let’s hope he didn’t fall off the roof while putting up Christmas lights. Because that would be pretty embarrassing as those shorts he’s wearing.

7. “Here’s your Christmas present, Lindsey.”

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Let’s hope it’s a new pair of jeans. Because she seems to have busted the ones she has on. Also, the guy’s wearing shorts.

8. Sledding in a winter wonderland.

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Looks like Dad’s acid is kicking in. The look on his face makes him seem like he’s tripping balls.

9. Merry Christmas from the 1980s.

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Boy looks like he doesn’t want his friends to know that his dad’s got a mullet. And he’s thinking why can’t he have a less tacky haircut like all the other dads.

10. “Smile for the camera.”

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Apparently, some of these people aren’t smiling. Or smiling rather awkwardly like they’re posing for a school group photo. Yes, you can go through a lot of takes with that.

11. Unfortunately, photoshop wasn’t invented yet.

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Since someone has their hand out in this photo. Surely the studio could’ve just edited out.

12. When family drama becomes too much.

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Apparently, you’ll see people retreating to the stairwell at many Christmas gatherings this year. Particularly when Donald Trump’s impeachment comes up.

13. Maybe a large group picture with Santa was a bad idea.

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This is especially if some kids are crying. Still, you have to admire Santa taking it in stride.

14. Getting kids to pose for a Christmas card photo must be tough.

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These kids are supposed to sit lined against each other. But none of them want to smile for the camera.

15. No, Santa, that’s not how you hold a baby.

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Seriously, holding a baby by the lower chest just makes you look like a creep. For God’s sake, didn’t they teach you that in Santa school?

16. When you didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas.

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One boy’s crying his eyes out that he didn’t get the new Superman action figure. His younger brother puts his arms around his back.

17. When everyone in your family has the same hairstyle as you.

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Or have to pose for a photo you really didn’t want to be in. Got to feel for the guy in front staring at the camera.

18. Is this family fun time or a hostage situation?

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“Lexie, I don’t care if you hate Christmas music or not. You will sing carols with us and you will like it.”

19. “A deer leg? Just what I always wanted.”

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“Yes, Judy, it’s from that mother doe I shot earlier this month when we had that snow. Not sure where the fawn went.”

20. The more kids you have, the more you can use them for crazy photo ops like this.

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“Now, kids, I’d like you to form a human pyramid while I put lights around you. Tommy can hold the star on his forehead.”

21. When you want a nice wholesome family photo but everyone’s goofing off.

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The dad’s like, “What’s so funny? Why are Karen and Debbie laughing? What’s going on here?”

22. “You want to include the goat in the picture?”

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Yes, there’s a goat in here. The woman has a kid on her lap. The guy’s obviously kind of aghast at as if it was a last minute thing.

23. When you’re forced to pose in a photo with your sibling and in a similar outfit.

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And they’re in ugly sweaters, too. Guess some things never change when you grow up.

24. Am I seeing double or what?

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Well, this depicts 2 guys who are probably brothers wearing the same outfit, and enjoying some quality time with a cat. But one guy isn’t thrilled with the idea.

25. When your humans put you through a humiliating photo op for the Christmas card.

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Dog is like, “Kill me now.” Funny, how this couple’s actually from Pittsburgh. From what I can tell by the Steelers collar.

26. The family that smokes together stays together.

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Of course, a third of that family’s already dead. Due to lung cancer. Because smoking kills folks. Also, that kid with the cigarette really makes his parents look bad.

27. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed-giant hedgehog?

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It’s probably their pet photoshopped in. Because there’s no way in hell that a hedgehog could pull a sleigh. Let alone fly one.

28. When even the dog has to pose in the same holiday sweater.

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The woman’s like, “Is this really necessary? I understand us wearing the sweaters. But did we really have to have the dog wear one? Kind of ridiculous.”

29. “This year we decided to announce that Scotty’s joined the gymnastics team.”

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How else could the son pose in his leotard? Still, got to see the father’s shiny legs. Apparently they’re a thing in the Southwest.

30. Kids don’t understand hand gestures, I guess.

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And little Tony just flipped the bird at Santa. Probably has no idea what it means whatsoever.

31. In the Valley of the Dolls…literally.

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“I don’t want to go in there, Mommy. Those dolls scare me. Please don’t let them murder me.”

32. “Am I the only one to think dressing for the Christmas card was a bad idea?”

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You can see the Christmas tree doesn’t seem too thrilled being dressed like that. Probably knows he’ll be beat up in school if the picture goes out.

33. You’d think this was the family from We Bought a Zoo.

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It’s not. But they seem to have a lot of pets, including a duck and some parrots. Not sure if that’s too many.

34. Sometimes a Christmas photo op might cross the line.

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I don’t know about you. But a dad calling his wife and daughters “ho’s” isn’t a man you’d want to emulate. Also, I can really see the joke.

35. Merry Christmas from one of the families in Toddlers and Tiaras.

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Given that these girls resemble sexualized beauty queens, I don’t have confidence in this couple’s parenting. Seriously, kid beauty pageants should be banned.

36. “I got you a present, Marla.”

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“What is it Travis? Is the weed you’ve been smoking? The shrooms you’ve been taking? I really want to know.”

37. Christmas is often the most happy and jolly time of year.

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And this family doesn’t seem to be that. More like drinking co-workers at an office party who hate each other.

38. Speaking of office parties…

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Yes, that’s Dwight, Jim, and Andy from The Office. Note what’s on Dwight’s head.

39. Don’t pay attention to Mike. He’s just being weird.

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He’s the one with the weird mask. Or is it makeup? Either way, he seems straight out of a horror movie.

40. “Mommy, why did you let that scary man pick me up?”

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Man, that Santa mask is so creepy looking. More like a slasher horror movie. Can totally feel for the little boy.

41. A couple shot is always better with the family dog.

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This just reminds me of all those weird pictures from the 1980s we laugh at. Except it seems rather contemporary for some reason.

42. I’m sure this is either for a Christmas card or a dating profile.

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Celebrating Christmas alone doesn’t really seem right. You can see the desperation in his eyes.

43. When’s Santa coming down?

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Apparently, everyone in this photo seems to wonder that. Since the boy’s looking up in an impatient anticipation.

44. What’s with the navels?

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Says, “Jingle Bellies.” Don’t ask me what the hell that’s supposed to mean. Seriously, this is really fucked up.

45. Santa poses with some elves.

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Looks like it’s one of their vacation photos. I’m sure the Santa’s a mannequin.

46. “Mommy, get that scary man away from me.”

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Yes, that’s another bad Santa mask. And yes, that little girl’s incredibly terrified.

47. When you’ve been in a fight during the last holiday shopping rush.

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The woman also has some piercings. So it creates a rather awkward situation with the parents and grandparents.

48. Apparently, Sparky’s not adjusting well to the new baby.

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And you thought siblings were bad. Her the dog sits on the baby because it wants attention.

49. When you find out that Miss Piggy’s not wearing a bra.

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Piggy, please, cover that up. There’s a kid around. Seriously, have you heard about dressing in layers?

50. That’s a rather interesting gourd.

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Sorry, but decorative gourd season’s been over since November. Also, why did they paint a snowman and use it as a birdfeeder?

51. When you start regretting sitting on the scary man’s lap.

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Yes, the mask is frightening and unrealistic. But as one kid takes it in strive, his brother foresees a sense of nightmarish doom upon the horizon.

52. Do they know Santa’s in this very room?

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He’s basically right behind them near the tree. But the kids don’t really seem as excited as they should be.

53. Sometimes the shirt says it all.

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Here Santa wonders what kind of parents these kids have that their hoodies advertise a tobacco company. And the fact Marlboro has those hoodies in children’s sizes.

54. Sorry kid, but Santa’s had a too few many lately.

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Talk about a sketchy Santa. This guy’s totally loaded on something. What, I don’t know.

55. Dear Satan: Send me cash this Christmas.

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Talk about a sketchy Santa. This guy’s totally loaded on something. What, I don’t know.

56. When you’re a mall Santa who hates his life.

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You can see him hold 3 kids. Two girl cry while the boy sits quietly. And Santa gives a face of disgust over his duties.

57. Sometimes kids can be horrible spellers.

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The kid means “wrapped.” I know that the misspelling gives adults an entirely different image, which goes over the kid’s head.

58. That’s not where you want to smell that gingerbread man.

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Yes, the dog’s sniffing at Al Roker’s crotch. What’s funnier is that this happened live on network TV.

59. Christmas is always a cheerful time of year.

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Not in this family, apparently. Rather this is the kind of family that seems at each other’s throats. One guy’s probably a drinker.

60. Big sister’s not too happy with the new baby.

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Sorry, kid, but I don’t think Santa can send your baby sibling that. Because that’s not how it works. Also, tying up your parents in Christmas lights isn’t a good idea.

61. “Can I pose with my llama?”

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Girl must come from a farm. Since her dad’s also holding a lamb. Wonder what the photographer thought of that.

62. These guys can’t wait for Santa.

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So they’re awaiting his arrival in ducky pajamas. Know that these are grown ass men.

63. You’ll never guess who has a red nose and antlers in this photo.

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Mostly all the members save the father. But one of the boys knows this stunt is incredibly lame and wants no part of it.

64. “Let’s line up wearing our ugly Christmas sweaters.”

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The youngest boy feels like he’s forced into something he doesn’t want to participate in. But I’m afraid he’ll have to face the horror.

65. Girl sits beside a dummy Santa.

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Unfortunately dummy Santa can be just as terrifying as the one you see in the mall. But the girl doesn’t seem to mind. Mainly because she could beat up the doll when it goes after her.

66. When you find Santa totally wasted but must get that memorable shot of your kid.

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Kid seems rather anxious doesn’t he. Maybe Santa shouldn’t frequent the bars on his time off. I suggest he do a 12-step.

67. Peter will always stay true to his Snookums.

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And yes, I mean his cat with a little Santa hat. Though the cat seems to have other ideas.

68. Nativity displays should always be left to the churches.

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Because why involve your kids in a manger display if they won’t take it seriously. Still, kind of feel bad for the angel and you can see a hand.

69. There’s nothing like a Christmas in Antarctica.

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Because you wouldn’t survive without wearing heavy winter clothing. Seriously, this was obviously done in a studio.

70. Everyone should relish in the holiday cheer.

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You can see a couple of blase faces on the couch. Meanwhile two of the women are drinking from bottles.

The World According to Stock Photography (Second Edition)

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A year ago before I went to Minnesota to attend my cousin’s wedding, I did a post on ridiculous stock photography. So I decided do another for 2019. After all, given how President Cheetofascist is supremely racist, ICE is rounding up undocumented immigrants, Central American refugees, Jeffrey Epstein’s arrest, and all the crazy stuff coming from a dumpster fire known as the Trump administration, I kind of figured we need something to laugh at. Other than the so-called invasion at Area 51 no less. Anyway, you might see stock photos all around you all the time whether for public or commercial use. Often these usually pertain to cheap business ads, spur-of-the moment PSAs, and low-budget greeting cards. While many of these like the image of an old guy on the computer with a fake smile hiding distress on his face, have become memes. Remember the one with the distracted boyfriend? Well, that’s a stock photo. Nonetheless, I can go on raving about the best stock photos in recent time. But I won’t since you’ve probably seen them anyway. Instead, I’ll show you another assortment of the worst and most ridiculous ones you wouldn’t want on your craft beer website. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy stock photos.

 

  1. When you eat out and there are no cutlery options available.
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Apparently, judging by his hands, he just ordered dessert. I suspect it’s cheesecake.

2. Playing naked balloon fort has deep roots in the 18th century.

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Okay, that wasn’t a thing. Since they didn’t have mass rubber production at the time. But given that she’s naked, in a balloon fort, and has a hairstyle akin to Marie Antoinette, I couldn’t resist.

3. Unfortunately, Del Monte phone service was utterly worthless.

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Either that or he’s drunk arguing on a banana phone at the office. Then again, he just might be plain nuts.

4. On his off hours, a US Army IT guy shoots his rounds.

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But instead of using his gun, he uses his keyboard. Results in less lethal accidents that way.

5. Apparently, sex doll porn is a thing.

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I really don’t want to know what’s going on in this guy’s sex life. But at least he’s not hurting anyone.

6. Sandy’s new dress was full of baloney.

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And apparently, she wears these lunch meat slices as a dress. Or is that really salami?

7. The Christmas party was so crazy that even Dog Santa was wasted.

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Even funnier how this dog’s wearing a Santa suit and sunglasses. Man, I really don’t want to be around when it wakes up with a doggie hangover.

8. How not to bond with your kitten.

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Just because cat moms lick their young, doesn’t mean you should lick your feline fur baby. Since it’ll just think you’re insane.

9. Unfortunately, the Olive Garden had to reject Betty Spaghetti as its mascot.

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What? You don’t remember Betty Spaghetti? I mean at one point, she used to be on almost all their posters.

10. During the Great Depression, Big Bird’s dad would support himself through babysitting.

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Unlike his famous son of Sesame Street fame, the children weren’t very fond of him. In fact, he gave them nightmares.

11. Remember Distracted Boyfriend? Here’s Distracted Boyfriend on Escalator.

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Unlike the more familiar version, this one has the parties go in different directions. Also, it’s going on behind the girlfriend’s back.

12. When the only jean size available is XXXXL.

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I mean the jeans obviously go all the way up to the guy’s shoulders. Yet, he’s trying to make the best of it.

13. For God’s sake Lindsey, spaghetti isn’t finger food.

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You should’ve known that since your toddler years. Seriously, waving your spaghetti and meatballs in the air just makes a mess.

14. Hundreds of miles from civilization and this old man can still use a laptop.

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Still, I’m kind of skeptical how he can get a wi-fi signal that far. Besides, he’s old and not wearing a shirt.

15. Isn’t she way too big for that tricycle?

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I’d say so since she can lift it up by the handlebars. Also, she’s pregnant and dressed like she’s from the trailer park in Whoville.

16. When you’ve been riding the same tricycle everywhere since you were five.

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That guy really needs a car. Or at least live near a bus station. Seriously, he’s way too big for it and is wearing a business suit like he works in an office.

17. I don’t think fans will be happy with the next Predator movie.

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Apparently, they had a lot of budget cuts. So instead of CGI, the Predator will be played by some bald guy with dreadlocks.

18. Elephants always enjoy the great outdoors.

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The two calves are riding their bikes while their mom rides a scooter. Though they’d definitely crush these things in real life.

19. If you’re horny and you know it, blow your horn.

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Apparently, this guy blows for sex. Not sure if he’ll get any with that routine.

20. Even evil witches have their girl friends, too.

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But if Lexie dare steal Grimilda’s man, she’ll drop a house on her. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

21. Tragically, the peanut tight rope has become a very dangerous act.

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As you can see by how many cracked after a fall. Rest in Reese’s Pieces.

22. Duchess look behind you!

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Seems like dogs engage in murder and mayhem, too. As you can see by the one dog raising its paw with a knife.

23. She makes balancing a loaf of bread on her head look easy.

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And yet, she seems perfectly secure in herself. Though I have no idea how she can keep bread that large on her head. Photoshop?

24. “Is she dead? Or is she just sleeping?”

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Teacher appears like she’s trying to wake up a student sleeping in class. And she doesn’t want anyone to see her.

25. When your dog groomer plays Minecraft.

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Yes, the poodle’s all trimmed in blocks. And yes, it’ll look pretty ridiculous for awhile.

26. Before she became the sweet woman from accounting, Karen was once a badass soldier in the Army.

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Those look like two different women. Also, I don’t think women in the military dress like that.

27. “Kibble shares are doing great around this quarter.”

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Here a business dog is at work on his laptop. And it’s almost time for him to leave and go for his walk.

28. “Mr. Gigantis, I think you might’ve had an allergic reaction.”

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I’d hate to be there when that giant sneezes. Cause someone’s going to get covered in snot.

29. Nothing beats doing business on the beach.

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Since that tidal wave will basically destroy the computer within a second or two. There’s a reason why people don’t have beach offices.

30. In business, you have to see all the possibilities.

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That doesn’t mean you should do your business on a cliff. Since that’s incredibly dangerous.

31. Saint Nicholas receives a devastating call.

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“You mean the Dutch don black face to imitate my six to eight black men? Oh, the humanity!”

32. “Get that infernal egg away from me!”

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“Can’t even look how you poach, scramble, and have it over easy. It’s horrible! Stop it! Stop it!”

33. “I believe I can fly…”

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Though Kyle basically works on his laptop on Greg. Poor Greg. He’s going to have chronic back problems later in life.

34. This holy sister has a message for the red man downstairs.

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Oh, Sister Angelica, how could you flip two birds? So undignified for a nun like you.

35. “Want to see my business card?”

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Sorry, but if a guy’s dressed up like the Dude from The Big Lebowski, I’d rather not. For all I know, he could be promoting something shady.

36. There’s nothing like the joys of doing laundry.

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Here Lily sits in front of the washing machine, contemplating the emptiness of her own existence. While holding a pink balloon, no less.

37. Presenting the new Harold & Maude remake.

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Man, they really stretched the age gap from the original. How old is that boy supposed to be? Please let it be 18.

38. This disabled dwarf managed to snag a lady at a punk rock concert.

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What do you know, they have matching mohawks. Yet, the guy has her on a leash. Guess it’s a kink.

39. Though Walter managed to retain his 6-pack, he wasn’t put on right.

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I mean he’s got his butt on his front, no less. Wonder how he has sex and goes to the bathroom. On second thought, I really don’t want to know.

40. Cousin It’s daughter doesn’t have an active social life.

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She also finds it difficult to eat and drink. Mainly with all that hair around her face.

41. Beware of the 3-eyed cat.

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Okay, that’s really weird and kind of creepy. Since the third eye looks remarkably similar to the others.

42. Ever tried licking a cactus?

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Please don’t do this. Since your tongue will hurt like hell for cacti have needles to keep critters from eating their skin.

43. Meet Mike, the Cyber Internet Hacking Thief.

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He’s more machine now than man. Given that most of his body consists of robotic limbs.

44. Think you have to remove the bones and scales first.

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Don’t think that eating a fish straight out of the stream is a good idea. Might hurt your mouth. But, hey, a bet’s a bet.

45. Apparently, the sexy Ser Brienne of Tarth costume was not a success.

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Though I hear it’s been used in the Game of Thrones porn therapy and as a stripper costume. Still, Brienne deserves better.

46. Got a weird sexual fetish? These women got you covered.

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From Bored Panda: “What We Need Is A Picture Of A Blindfolded Woman In Lingerie Holding A Pomegranate With A Octopus On It. Oh And Could You Set Up A Mirror In The Corner Showing Another Woman Sulking? Perfect. Thanks.”

47. “I’ll have your neck for this, Hansen!”

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Let’s just say, the boss meant that literally as he literally grabbed Hansen by then neck. And apparently Hansen’s neck is abnormally large neck.

48. She expects to be the ultimate soccer mom.

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Since she’s carrying a future soccer player in her belly right now as seen how her abdomen resembles a soccer ball. Of course, that could just be all air.

49. Ronnie just wanted to seek some comfort from the Scriptures before ending it all.

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But he can’t decide whether to kill himself by hanging or poison injection. He’d really want it to be quick but is scared of needles.

50. You should know better than to mess with a pineapple businessman.

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He’s all about the Benjamins and he’ll stop at nothing to be the top fruit in the finance world. Though he’s bound to rot from the head.

51. “What’s in the Box?”

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Apparently, it’s Becky’s little head and she’s tearfully screaming. But at least whoever packed it in used bubble wrap and handled it with the utmost delicacy.

52. “We are trying to find the answer to the age old question on why the chicken crossed the road.”

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They didn’t find it. But the scientists managed to get a half dozen eggs out of their lab observations.

53. “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere…”

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Yes, the guy yearns to go to another place with his hat and suitcase at his side. While jets fly high in the sky like they’re war planes.

54. When your mother’s an Olympic swimmer and your father is the Incredible Hulk.

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While Suzie Banner was in many ways a normal child. Her dad Bruce’s condition with gamma ray radiation resulted in her having a congenital mutation of Hulk hands.

55. “Stop right there! Your pizza or your life!”

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“But I just ordered this delicious pepperoni! Oh, God, please just let me enjoy just one little slice! I’m basically pissing my pants over this!”

56. Didn’t know Bigfoot had a more civilized side to him.

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Okay, he’s actually answering a call on his smart phone. He’s telling his friend how he’s adjusted to human civilization and asking how things are in the woods.

57. She’s got so many reminders that she doesn’t know where to put them.

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So she’s all covered in Post-It notes. If you’re married to her, give this woman some kind of organizer or a bulletin board.

58. A businessman can’t ask for anything more than being in a wheatfield with balloons and a briefcase.

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Someone must be on drugs. Seriously, who frolics in a wheatfield wearing a business suit?

59. Apparently, Japanese nurses are known to entertain hospital patients with conch shell performances.

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Patient is like, “I have to stay up with my food poisoning for this? Can’t I do anything to get this lady to stop?”

60. Don’t worry, Nurse Liloki will take good care of you.

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So she’s marching on the patient’s room with a baseball bat and glove. In case intruders come inside.

61. “Let’s try something a little more adventurous.”

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I think this is taking things a bit too far. I mean making love on a log over a waterfall can result in grievous injury.

62. “Born to be wild..”

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Looks like we have a true mountain lion on his mountain bike. And he’s having the time of his life.

63. When you spend so much on the phone that you don’t take time to listen to your wife.

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Here the wife’s wielding the frying pan while her husband is on the phone. Would love to see them in couples counseling.

64. “But Mrs. Fletcherson, I don’t want to play the recorder.”

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“Listen, Mister, we play recorders in music class and you’re gonna learn to it. Even if I have to drag your ass myself.”

65. Mr. July on the Gas Mask Hunks 2050 calendar.

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The kind of man you’d want in your post-apocalyptic bunker once our human civilization is ravaged by catastrophic climate change. Named as one of the year’s most sexiest men. Given that his body shows no signs of radiation damage.

66. David is a very special boy.

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Since while most people’s waists can only twist at 180 degrees, his turns 360. Yes, I know it looks freaky.

67. A child comes to terms with the harrowing reality that this is what it’ll be like until she retires.

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Go ahead and cry, little girl. Adult life sucks. Also, you’ll be crying in your office a lot more often from now on.

68. Sometimes giving last respects can be very awkward.

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I think we found the murderer. And they used the wrong casket, too.

69. It’s tough being a test dummy and in love.

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“If we make it through this crash, Stanley, let’s run away together. We can get married in Vegas. Nobody will want to condemn us to car testing there.”

70. Tragically, even the North Pole wasn’t exempt from the drug crisis.

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Given global warming, Donald Trump raging on Twitter over being on the naughty list, and other problems, could you blame Santa for shooting up heroin and snorting coke? Nonetheless, such image can ruin your childhood.

71. “Cheeseburgers! Cheeseburgers everywhere!”

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This woman his haunted by cheeseburgers. Best she stay out of a Burger King, MacDonald’s, In&Out Burger, and other places.

72. Featuring the latest thing in food technology: white bread.

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She kind of presents white bread as if it’s the new iPhone or something. Nice try, but she looks ridiculous. Since white bread has been around for decades.

73. Ladies can’t get enough of a manly canine lumberjack.

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By day you can see him cutting down trees as well as peeing on them. Also enjoys long walks in the park and catch. Not to mention, he’s house-trained and got all his shots.

74. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

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Seems like she’s getting a massage from a boxing glove. I know it seems straight out of an acid trip.

75. Ahhh…cactus.

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The boy’s smelling a cactus. Hope he doesn’t get a nose full of needles.

76. A one-eyed accountant flashes “East Side” while listening to an abacus.

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How do you listen to an abacus? Because as far as I know, you don’t.

77. In partnership with Lowe’s introducing the Victoria’s Secret Catalog: Handy Girl Edition.

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She can fix up your house and be a man’s bedroom fantasy at the same time. Though I don’t think wearing a skimpy outfit is a good idea, given the potential for injury.

78. “Honey, I can explain…”

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Sorry, Barry, but Jennifer knows you won’t leave your wife for her. So prepare to be bludgeoned to death by rolling pin.

79. “Ice, ice, baby…”

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Yes, we cling to anything to cool us down during the summer. But embracing a large block of it is a bit much.

80. Don’t mind Larry, he’s just taking a bath.

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However, most people don’t usually bathe in their scuba gear. Since most tubs aren’t as deep as the ocean.

81. Gone on a trip to an exotic Latin American country? Party in your car and pick up hitchhikers.

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Actually picking up hitchhikers is a very bad idea. Also, standing up in the jeep isn’t wise either. Not to mention, I don’t think that car’s supposed to fit 7 or more people.

82. Oh, God, Santa’s been a naughty boy this year.

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I’m sure Mrs. Claus won’t be happy when she finds out about this. Someone’s going to get coal in his stocking this Christmas as well as sleeping on the couch.

83. Jessie always feared the times when her daddy’s drunk.

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Why is this a stock photo? It basically shows a girl afraid of seeing her dad with a bottle in one hand and a belt in the other. I think we can figure out what he’s going to do.

84. “Yo, yo, what time is it? Show time!”

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“Uh, Holly, that’s not how we do a rap battle. You’re making us look like idiots. Can we just leave right now?”

85. “Put your hand on my womb, Jamie.”

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Please, have this boy be her son and not her baby’s daddy. Because that boy is basically a teenager and any sexual relationship between a teen and adult is grounds for statutory rape.

86. “Our love literally defies gravity.”

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I mean they’re jumping for joy yet their feet don’t touch the ground. This doesn’t conform to the laws of physics in the least.

87. “There’s a bear behind us? Let’s take a selfie.”

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After this, Gary and Linda were never seen again. Or at least in one piece since the bear basically devoured them.

88. Simba rules the corporate boardroom.

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Actually it’s a guy with a photoshopped lion’s mane. But Scar better watch his back since Simba will claim his rightful place as king of the pridelands.

89. “Help! I got myself stuck in the washing machine!”

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How is it possible to get stuck in a washing machine? Fortunately, none of the machines at the laundromat seem to be on at the moment.

90. Fancy a vacation on the moon?

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No, going to the moon isn’t like going to the beach. It has no atmosphere so you need to put a space suit on. Else, you’ll suffer a most horrible death.

91. “Good morning, class, hope you studied hard for today’s examination.”

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Seriously, a teacher in high heels and miniskirt? She seems more suited to a porn “hot for teacher” movie than a school?

92. He’s known simply as “Pencil Boy.”

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Because he has pencils stuck inside his orifices, save his eyes. Don’t be surprised if the teacher calls his mom saying he got beat up at school.

93. This year’s latest fashion trend: Lobster hair.

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Let’s hope the lobster is dead or plastic. Because a live one on that woman’s head simply terrifies me.

94. When you break into someone’s house in the most embarrassing way.

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Or when your scuba diving excursion goes humiliatingly wrong that you end up entering someone’s home through the toilet. Yeah, got to see how he’ll explain himself.

95. When the flight is overbooked but you can’t miss it.

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Yes, she’s sitting out on the wing which is incredibly dangerous. But she manages to sit comfortably in her business dress and work on her laptop.

96. “We’re about to be beset with some minor turbulence.”

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Either the plane is facing some major turbulence, got shot up into space, or she’s got the acid kicking in. I don’t know how else to explain.

97. “I’m Mary Poppins y’all.”

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Yes, the acid’s definitely kicking in. Since traveling by umbrella doesn’t necessarily get you where you need to go.

98. “Let’s celebrate my survival from a plane crash with interpretive dance!”

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Uh, now’s not the time to do an interpretive dance moves. Better to get supplies and send a signal for a rescue.

99. This caged woman dreams of freedom from her gilded prison.

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Many people might see her as Melania Trump in a nutshell. Though Melania’s prison is the position of First Lady of the United States. Despite that all she wanted to be was a trophy wife to a moral degenerate fake billionaire.

100. A teddy bear goes on his winter trek.

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I hope this bear isn’t trying to climb Mount Everest. Since he’s probably going to die after reaching the summit. Then again, the Sherpas won’t have trouble getting him there.

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Fifth Edition)

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During my first year in college, my mom took pictures of me and my sister outside to pose in photos with the dog, Diamond. My mom would later use one of the black and white pictures for our Christmas card that year.

For many, there’s no place like home during the holiday season. Since how else will you get those presents? Okay, I’m kidding. Still, Christmas is a time we spend with our families or our in-laws if you’re my dad. Seriously, my parents never had any debate on whose relatives to visit during the holidays since it was always my mom’s relatives. Because most of my dad’s relatives were either dead or lived far away along with being distantly related. Besides, when my Grandma C was alive, we’d take her with us. Anyway, when it comes to the holidays, we expect to have rosy memories with nice little photos to go with them. But human nature being what it is, things don’t always go that way. After all, I’ve managed to do 4 of these posts thanks to Awkward Family Photos. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of crazy Christmas memories thanks to Awkward Family Photos. Enjoy.

  1. You can’t have a Christmas portrait without including the family dog.
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Though I don’t know about this arrangement. Seriously, the guy’s disembodied head is just weird.

2. It always helps to pose wearing your ugly sweater.

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Though they don’t seem to smile in the foreground. In fact, their faces in the background seems to represent happier times.

3. Don’t forget to pose with the lapdogs.

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You can see that these people are stinking rich as hell. And I’m sure they don’t look after the dogs themselves. Talk about excess.

4. There are some ugly sweaters more embarrassing than others.

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The guy just feels like, “Holy shit, my whole family’s going to see me in this in our Christmas card. God, I hope our kids don’t see this someday.”

5. Apparently, this fly on the wall has a camera.

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You can see that nobody wants to pose for the photo here. Cue the guy whose head you can’t see.

6. There’s always someone in the family who doesn’t smile.

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Apparently, they didn’t have photoshop back then. So a cutout of Dad’s smile was included.

7. “At least I didn’t get that ugly cat sweater.”

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Indeed, the cat shirts are ugly. But the dark haired girl is greatly embarrassed.

8. These kids celebrate Christmas on the streets.

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This family did a Jersey Shore themed Christmas card portrait with their kids. Don’t ask.

9. And that’s one on the nose.

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Well, the kid received a new pair of boxing gloves. So what do you expect?

10. Always mind the shadows.

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The woman on the left seems like she’s evil incarnate and about to chase children with an axe. The other two may just be her minions.

11. The first Christmas since the lobotomy is always the hardest.

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Okay, I know this is kind of mean. But I have to admit that the boy looks like a zombie for some reason.

12. I think Dad might want to avoid the local bar scene for awhile.

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I mean the guy has 2 black eyes, I had to invent something. Still, the baby’s angry look is utterly priceless.

13. You’re never too old to see Santa Claus.

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Actually, you can as you see with these middle-aged women. Whereas, Santa is like, “This doesn’t seem part of my job description.”

14. Since ugly sweaters have become popular, many take selfies wearing them.

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Those are supposed to be 3 deer humping. Also, how old is this guy? Cause he looks like a teenager.

15. “Did I just throw something?”

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It’s definitely the kid on the left. Also, what kind of parent makes their kids pose with a utility heater? Seriously, what the hell?

16. Apparently, the visit to Santa didn’t go as expected.

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The kid looks pretty glum since he probably didn’t want to be there. While the Santa looks pretty shady, especially with those glasses.

17. “Look out, frisbee!”

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Yet, the family seems quite oblivious to the situation with the dad kind of falling asleep. Not something you’d want in a Christmas card.

18. “Goalie gloves? Oh, you shouldn’t have.”

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I think the gloves were a joke gift. In any case, she didn’t find it funny.

19. Don’t be afraid to get your feet in the water.

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I know this is for a Christmas card. Yet, the kids just want to be as far from the parents as possible.

20. The family that dresses together stays together.

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But white turtlenecks? Seriously, that’s kind of tacky.

21. That present seems oddly strategically placed.

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That present is just as big as the kid. Wonder what’s in it that makes one want to open it.

22. “Mom likes you best.”

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The little boy just can’t seem to smile for the camera. Though he enviously looks at his brother who his parents see as practically perfect in every way.

23. “Quick get in the photo!”

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Apparently, she didn’t get in the picture in time. While a guy just looks into his phone. Seriously, they could’ve just took a selfie or get Jessie’s boyfriend to take the picture.

24. “Smile for the camera, kiddos.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My sister and I thought it might be a good idea to have our kids’ photos taken as a Christmas present for my mom. With two hungry, tired newborn babies and a bored 3 year old, it was quite possibly the worst day of our lives. This was the best pic we could get of all three of them.”

25. When Santa freaks the baby out so much he pees his pants.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My youngest son peed all over Santa at the moment this picture was being taken, and Santa had some ‘choice words’ at that moment too. Meanwhile, my oldest son doesn’t know where a wristwatch goes.”

26. Timmy seems very proud of his ugly Christmas sweater this year.

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So they have sweater like that in child size? Seriously, the boy’s grandma will not be amused. His grandpa on the other hand…

27. The holidays are a time to be merry.

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Yet, this family seems quite depressed for some reason. Guess you can’t have a merry Christmas every year.

28. When your Christmas card picture goes totally wrong.

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Seems like everyone is doing their own thing in this picture. Then again, it’s quite difficult to get children to sit still.

29. No child is ever too young for parents to embarrass.

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Doesn’t help that the dad has no idea how to pose at the fireplace. While the girl doesn’t seem to be having it.

30. When you and your relatives get the same sports bra for Christmas.

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Well, this is certainly awkward. Also, who the hell thinks a bra as a Christmas present is a good idea?

31. Perhaps the jammie pose wasn’t a good idea.

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Most of the time, the dad wears long johns. Yet, he shouldn’t have put his hand between his legs.

32. Talk about falling flat on your face.

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Yet, her sister smiles and holds her giant ornament for the camera. Acting as if nothing had happened.

33. “A Rough Rider BB Gun? Just what I always wanted.”

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This is from A Christmas Story. And yes, Mom and Randy are worried about Ralphie shooting his eye out.

34. When the cork pops at the exact wrong moment.

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Yes, that hit him right in the eye. Hope he can explain his shiner on New Years.

35. There’s a reason why men shouldn’t do Christmas cards.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My wife left the Christmas cards to me. She designed the front, but didn’t know about the back until all 50+ cards were shipped.”

36. There’s no better Christmas party than a solo party.

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Yes, she photoshopped pictures of herself into one room. Kind of pathetic, actually.

37. Christmas is always the happiest time of year.

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Wonder if this couple is spending their last Christmas together. Since the woman holding the doll doesn’t seem too pleased in this picture.

38. This year’s Christmas card theme: The Grinch.

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Though I’m not sure if the dad makes a convincing Grinch. Like the hairdos.

39. When your parents want you to settle down.

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Yeah, you can guess she has no man and no job. Of course, my parents will probably give me books like this sometime soon.

40. “But, Grandma, I don’t want to play Little Red Riding Hood.”

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Wait until you see her brother dressed as the wolf. Seriously, you don’t want to venture into a dark forest in that.

41. Now that doesn’t seem like responsible parenting.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This is a photo of my brother’s family. We were trying to get a nice Christmas card photo, and my brother was getting rid of his beer so it wouldn’t be in the picture. He wasn’t fast enough.”

42. “Didn’t they ask you not to wear your Hulk shirt?”

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That doesn’t seem appropriate for a family Christmas photo. But Uncle Larry owns a comic book store and doesn’t seem to care.

43. Wonder what Justin Timberlake got in his Christmas present.

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This was back when he was in ‘NSYNC. Now he just looks ridiculous. While his present seems to resemble box of wine.

44. When your family makes an ornament of you suffering in the snow.

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That’s not something you put in a Christmas ornament. Wonder how that girl’s putting up with that.

45. When your Christmas photo gets a rude surprise.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We took the kids to take pictures with Santa. Needless to say we were shocked as we scrolled through the photos and saw our daughter’s middle finger up with her head turned and smiling.”

46. Hope you had a better Christmas than this family.

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Yes, this is another Christmas Story card shot. One of the kids wears a pink bunny outfit.

47. Apparently, someone looked into Hannibal Lecter’s fridge.

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Don’t worry, those aren’t human remains. They’re just reserved for humans.

48. Unfortunately, Susie’s visit with Santa did not go well.

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While little Petey has peed his pants. Indeed, it’s not unusual for kids to be afraid of Santa.

49. “Now, Dylan, we don’t clutch our crotches in the picture.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Siblings Xmas photo circa 1980. I’m the one grabbing my crotch. This is the picture my parents chose to display.”

50. Sometimes it’s best to keep the dogs as far apart as possible.

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Since they’re basically humping in front of everyone to their dismay. Because dogs don’t care about privacy and photo ops.

51. Keep in mind when making signs that spacing is important.

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Because you get signs like this. By the way, that’s supposed to be “wise men” not “semen.”

52. Someone is scared of the Krampus.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This year a local costume shop was offering Krampus photos if you bring your own camera. Not much advertising, so no line when we arrived, just a guy in a suit and this lovely setup. My son is 5 and decided he wasn’t into taking a photo — no surprise — so he just look bummed out the whole time. Works for me.”

53. They seem to start so young, do they?

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Sophie may only be a few months old. But she already knows some ways of expressing herself, particularly in her disgust.

54. Rosie always comes prepared on Christmas.

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Since she’s hung an abnormally large Christmas stocking. Since she wants a lot of stuff this year.

55. Apparently, someone isn’t shy about where those presents really come from.

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So someone got the presents from Target. Though that’s not what you’re supposed to write on a present.

56. It’s going to be a dark Christmas indeed.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Merry Christmas from your friendly, neighborhood mall goths. 2005.”

57. “No, I don’t want to sit on your lap, Santa.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We took my daughter to get her yearly photo with Santa and when Santa asked what she’d like for Christmas she said a ‘pink’ doll. He couldn’t hear her color choice and she then very politely stuck her middle finger up and shouted ‘pink, like this!’ She had on pink fingernail polish at the time.”

58. Christmas always brings in warm smiles.

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Indeed, only one of the girls is smiling for the photo. The others, not so much.

59. Hope you have a Grinch-free holidays.

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This is another Grinch Christmas card. Notice how they didn’t quite remove the makeup in the other picture.

60. When your nose runs, it just won’t stop.

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Someone give Jimmy a Kleenex. Cause that’s just plain gross.

61. Always make a holiday entrance in lights.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “A couple of years ago my daughter had surgery on both of her legs over Christmas break. Tired of being cooped up in the house she decided last minute she wanted to go to a Christmas party with her church youth group. We scrambled for ideas for the costume competition and settled on her being a ballerina from The Nutcracker (her sister went as a nutcracker). This was taken midway through the party when I’m pretty sure she was exhausted and maybe the pain meds started wearing off. Either way, her friends decided to make her a bit more festive and this is the end result.”

62. There are Thank You notes and there’s this.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My husband’s uncle didn’t like one of the gifts we got him for Christmas so he sent it back to us with this letter. I don’t think we’ll get him anything at all next year.”

63. Uh, those aren’t exactly Christmas socks.

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More like 420 socks. If you don’t know what that is, Google it and be astonished by the term.

64. “Dad, for God’s sake, get a shirt on.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “Before our son left for the Navy we decided to take one last family vacation. Hawaii seemed perfect, however our 13-year-old daughter was less than pleased the entire trip and refused to wear shorts or anything else weather appropriate. My husband insisted on a family photo and this was the best we could do.”

65. Why not celebrate all the holidays on Christmas?

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From Awkward Family Photos: “For our annual Christmas card one year, my dad decided it would be a good idea to showcase ALL of the holidays. Sancho the dog is Arbor Day.”

66. Husbands, whatever you do don’t give your wife a vacuum for Christmas.

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Because it’s guaranteed that she won’t like it. Seriously, just don’t.

67. “Here, take your screaming kid off from me.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “This is me with Santa in 1975. I can’t tell who is more unhappy, me or him.”

68. “Please don’t put me on his lap!”

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From Awkward Family Photos: “My 4 year old son Jack had been asking to meet Santa. However, when we got to the mall he confessed he was nervous. When it was our turn he really didn’t want to at all, if you can’t tell.”

69. Amy knows a bad Santa when she sees one.

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From Awkward Family Photos: “We dug this gem up recently. None of us realized how creepy the Santa was except our baby sister. We still aren’t sure where the camera actually was.”

70. “Sorry, Al, but nobody’s going along with it.”

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From Awkward Family Photos: Ant Man “This portrait was taken at my family’s 2010 Christmas celebration, when we gathered from all over the USA. The guy in the ant costume is my husband. Respecting the industriousness and work ethic of the European Wood Ant, he believes everyone should emulate ants for the forthcoming year. He is the only person I know who celebrates this way.”

Yearbook Pictures of Schooldays Past

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While studio portraits usually reflect us looking our best, this isn’t the case with school pictures. More often than not, having your picture taken in school usually consists of you sitting for the photographer for a few minutes before they send you on your way. Not to mention, our yearbook pictures often show us in hairstyles and outfits that haven’t aged necessarily well. This is especially the case for those who attended school during the 1960s to the 1980s. Then there’s the fact many children don’t like sitting still or having their picture taken while grade school kids may be sporting missing teeth. Not to mention, when kids reach middle school age and hit puberty, they often go a few years in an awkward phase. Some may even wear braces or have very terrible acne. Anyway, the school pictures you see on this post come from Awkward Family Photos, which will make your embarrassing yearbook pics seem rather tame in comparison. So for your reading pleasure, bask in these old yearbook photos that will give you much needed back to school giggles.

  1. Sometimes you ought to know when not to put your hair up.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This is a photo of my mom when she was in 6th grade. Not sure who her barber was but they may have been blind.”

2. Apparently, Austin Powers’ mojo didn’t pass down to his young son.

Though he can behave well enough to become an international man of mystery. But the garish shirt is another matter.

3. They call him, “Triangle Guy.”

I don’t think I’d smile with pride if I played the triangle in the marching band. Then again, he may have played other instruments.

4. Obviously, Napoleon Dynamite’s school picture is exactly what you’d expect.

From Awkward Family Photos: “My senior yearbook photo, shot in the summer of 1977. My mother handed me her charge card (with a note allowing me to use it) and dared to let me go alone to pick-out my photo attire. She was horrified when I brought home a green leisure suit, sans tie. She marched me back to Montgomery Ward and returned it, and purchased this proper three-piece corduroy suit, in rust, complete with a clip-on tie and matching suede shoes. Not only was I Napoleon Dynamite before he was even born, when I looked at the yearbook photos the next year, most of the boys wearing leisure suits didn’t graduate. Thanks Mom!”

5. In the 1980s, frizzy hair was all the rage.

From Awkward Family Photos: “I love this photo because there was no doubt in my mind that I looked absolutely awesome that day. This was my favorite look and I rocked it with zero shame. Incidentally, it would be years before a boy actually liked me, but I was too cool to care.”

6. Heard of 13 Going on 30? Well, this is 6 going on 60.

From Awkward Family Photos: “Although it was nearly 30 years ago, I remember this day. Specifically, I remember putting a lot of thought into the details of my outfit. I needed to look sophisticated, and mature, but like I still knew how to have fun (hence the bolo tie and homemade fimo clay earrings). My mother helped me achieve this look by graciously allowing me to get a perm on only the top of my short hair, and by choosing my fantastic eye wear.”

7. When it’s school picture day and have to hide your hideous haircut.

From Awkward Family Photos: “The year– 1977. For my 2nd grade class picture, I was determined to wear this hat my Grandmother made for me; after all, it matched the dress my mother picked out for me! This photo is the re-take; when my mom saw the first picture – with the hat – she made me go for a do-over. Needless to say the hat came with that day too. I still stand by my decision.”

8. Apparently, wearing his hair in braids didn’t go over too well.

From Awkward Family Photos: “When my daughter asks why she can’t wear things she thinks are ‘cool,’ I show her this photo from my freshman year in high school.”

9. She has a rather angelic side to her.

The site states that it’s a senior portrait. But from the lighting, you get the impression she’s dead.

10. Nothing can tear apart a boy and his chair.

Seems more like he’s posing for a cheap advertisement or Power Point background. I’m expecting to see a brand new product or some cheesy word art any time now.

11. When you wake up with a bad hair day for school photos.

From Awkward Family Photos: “That was the last time my mom ever did my hair.” And yes, her hair is quite atrocious.

12. There are times when some people don’t know when to stop with the hair care products.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This is my oldest brother. When he came to the states , his first obsession was rock&roll… followed by big hair.”

13. The 1980s saw all kinds of mullets such as the spike top.

From Awkward Family Photos: “When my son asks why he can’t get his hair cut in a style he thinks is ‘cool’, I show him this photo from my freshman year in high school.”

14. Dwayne was always a proud son of the South.

Here he stands tall in front of the racist Confederate flag wearing a tux, mullet, and earring. Seriously, if he wore camo, he’d be full redneck.

15. A fisher always poses with his rod and reel.

And he’s not really smiling with dignity either. Nor does he seem near a lake either.

16. “I don’t want to have my picture taken!”

Then again, a lot of kids don’t like their pictures taken. This guy is no exception. But he seems among the few to show it.

17. Care to kick back and relax in a glass?

At first I thought this was some kind of ad judging by the graphics. As a school photo, it’s utterly messed up.

18. “Shirts are for losers, nerds.”

Yet, shirtlessness goes against the school dress code. As does sunglasses. But good luck telling him that.

19. Who remembers the triangle hair trend?

From Awkward Family Photos: “My mother got her hairdresser diploma in 1987. I was a poor innocent victim of her experiments. I guess she put a billiard triangle around my head and put some hairspray.”

20. Some parents have no idea when their daughter is old enough for a bouffant.

Little kids shouldn’t have big hair like that. Her parents should’ve waited until she was around, well, 40.

21. When your parents make you wear a shirt that will certainly get you beat up in school.

He can’t even smile for the camera because he knows his classmates will laugh at him. For his shirt is utterly tacky.

22. A child should always put on a happy face.

Yet, this girl seems like she’s about to kick ass in an action movie. So don’t call her pigtails cute.

23. In school pictures placement is everything.

And having that log between that boy’s legs leaves a lot to interpretation. Not sure if that’s an appropriate pose for grade-schoolers.

24. Even supervillains had to go through school once.

Okay, he’s just a comic book fan. Not sure what he’s supposed to be. But he’ll fit right in at Comic Con.

25. Sometimes injuries can’t be helped.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This my son’s school pic after busting his lip. Poor kid rolled off the bed, hit his night stand, and had to get stitches. Then picture day!”

26. If you’re in marching band, setting is everything.

From Awkward Family Photos: “In the truest sense of the term, this is an awkward family photo. Circa 1984. Failing to capture the spirit of my role in the North Stafford High School marching band, dad thought it made sense to stage a photo of me in my uniform … in the woods … in a chair that just happened to be there … and without my sax. Instead, it looks like I am the young regent of Sherwood Forest, perhaps its constable, given the bobby hat.”

27. She wanted to pose with her 2 great loves, bowling and Shakespeare.

From Awkward Family Photos: “In our senior English class we had to make Shakespearean Globe Theaters out of a non-wood material. My group used duct tape. To complete the look for the senior picture, I wore my duct tape dress, shoes, tiara and bracelet. I don’t know how the bowling pin on a pedestal worked into the theme.”

28. Seeing what’s on her shirt, you’d question her sanity.

Indeed, that may be what her shirt says. But it doesn’t reflect well on her.

29. Let’s look inside the mind of a male clarinet player in a marching band.

This is an iconic image of awkwardness. So I couldn’t leave it out if I tried.

30. “But I don’t wanna wear my Dalmatian outfit.”

From Awkward Family Photos: “Just found this gem today. Apparently my mother thought it was appropriate to take me to a rave in a dalmation outfit. Needless to say, I was not happy.”

31. Apparently, Robbie is destined to become a sportscaster someday.

I mean he’s wearing glasses and an irrepressibly tacky football shirt. Think that explains it all.

32. Apparently, he’ll grow up to be an aerobics instructor at some point.

However, his fashion sense leaves much to be desired. But he doesn’t care.

33. “Do we need another retake?”

I’m sure we all feel this way during school pictures. Most kids just want to get their photo done and get going.

34. With this Annie, it’s a hard knock life.

From Awkward Family Photos: “I was 6 years old. My mother was obsessed with me being Annie because I had curly hair. So, she fluffed it up, bought me a red dress and a stuffed dog and had my picture taken. I can’t sing, I can’t dance and had no interest in theater. Hopefully, the photo was enough for her dream.”

35. A baseball player always wants to pose with his bat.

Though often placement is everything. This might lead to some rather R-rated interpretations.

36. Some high school seniors just want to see everything burn.

Seems like he’s trying to make himself appear as badass as possible. Too bad he doesn’t have hard abs to make it compelling.

37. Make sure your pigtails aren’t too outlandish.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This is what happens when Mom goes out of town and Dad is responsible for making sure I am ready for picture day at school.”

38. On picture day, don’t forget to wear your best spiked collars.

Seems more appropriate for a dog or gang member. But he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. Until 10 years later.

39. Like they say, follow your passion.

Yet if that passion is balloon animals, expect not to get laid in high school. Since they’re kind of cheesy.

40. The 1980s were known for large frizzy hairdos.

Apparently, it’s a mix between a mullet and a weeping willow. The top is just ridiculous.

41. This high school soccer player takes his sport very seriously.

Funny how he’s sitting on a fold up chair with a soccer ball. Possibly dwelling on life’s biggest questions or soccer as a metaphor.

42. Apparently, she has a rather split personality.

And I think she probably has split ends. Certainly a photo her kids will laugh at someday.

43. She may be a girl on the inside. But outside she’s all mail.

Well, she’s wearing chainmail. Mostly because she lost a bet. Or is playing Joan of Arc in the school play.

44. “Would you please tell me where the fire is?”

Indeed, he’s carrying a fire extinguisher. Yet, he’s not sure what fire he should put out.

45. Say hello to a future car salesman.

I mean the kid’s wearing a suit, vest, and bolo tie. And he’s holding a banner with a big smile on his face.

46. Apparently, they also do school pictures at Bajor.

Wonder if this is a school photo of Major Kira. Then again, a good school photo might’ve been the last thing a Bajoran would think about under Cardassian rule.

47. There are some people who will always be more photogenic than others.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This is probably one of the worst school pictures ever. I must have been laughing when he took the picture. But why would my mom send me out like that with my hair like that, knowing that it was picture day? Everyone who sees it asks me, “Were you on drugs?”, my response was “No!”, but I should have been. I am a fairly good looking guy, I promise.”

48. “Smile? You can’t make me!”

Man, she must be a stubborn girl. Yet, she won’t be moved in the slightest.

49. This boy’s got a wicked future ahead of him.

From Awkward Family Photos: “For my 2nd grade photo I opted for the ‘Satan’s child lawyer’ look.”

50. Here Liza poses with E.T. for school.

E.T. in the movie may be freaky but he’s kind of charming. But the E.T. in this photo outright terrifies me.

51. Tessa was voted by her class as Most Likely to Hoard Cats.

After all, she’s wearing a cat vest. And when she grows up, she’ll become one of those crazy cat ladies.

52. When you’re a cowboy, your hat can be as fancy as you want it to be.

From Awkward Family Photos: “My son became a cowboy over the summer, with a feather boa hat. I love that his loose tooth he wouldn’t let me pull was just hanging for his school picture.”

53. Maybe the Gap Athletic shirt was a bad idea.

Reading from this angle, it spells out “pathetic.” That poor kid.

54. This guy seems to have no motivation whatsoever.

His shirt states “No Goals.” Though it may say more than that. Yet, the camera will only get the top.

55. “Honestly, I only went there for the Buffalo wings.”

From Awkward Family Photos: “Looks like I dressed myself for class photos… My cousin told me Hooters was a donut shop.” That’s what they all say.

56. Didn’t know the “sassy grandma” look was a hit back in the day.

She’s even wearing a sparkly outfit. but the hair speaks for itself.

57. Apparently, Guy Fieri hasn’t changed much since middle school.

Yep, seems like he’s taking one-way ticket to Flavortown on that one. Can see the flames on his collar.

58. Isn’t he a bit young to do Shakespeare?

Actually it’s a school picture from the Ukraine. They seem to take the concept to a whole new level.

59. For his picture, little Jason wore his favorite bunny shirt.

Uh, that’s the Playboy bunny. Even more disturbing, since when did they make T-shirts with the Playboy Bunny for 5-year-olds?

60. If you think playing the triangle in marching band is pathetic, you haven’t met this guy.

Actually, he might just be a normal percussionist. Yet, the expression on his face shows he doesn’t like posing with tiny cymbals.

61. “Would you like to play with me?”

I don’t know if it’s the lighting, her outfit, or her hair. But that girl’s expression kind of freaks me out for some reason.

62. As most kids smile on school picture day, Robbie is dead inside.

Seems like the demons have taken over him and rendered him into a soulless vessel. Or he just got kissed by Dementors.

63. “One more day, before the show.”

“With the saxephones a playing./When the low brass starts to drone.”

64. Some pre-schoolers prefer to keep mum.

From Awkward Family Photos: “When the teacher laughs while handing you the picture packet and says they tried everything they could, you know you’ve got a winner. When asked ‘Lilly, why didn’t you smile?’ Her response was simple: ‘I don’t like school and I don’t like to smile.’ And that will tell you everything you need to know about this 4-year-old.”

65. When the ball isn’t burning, you’re not playing hard enough.

Let’s hope this is photoshop. Because you can’t trust a kid holding a burning ball.

66. A decade later, Malarie would work as a secretary.

This bob 1970s haircut is hideous. Why would any parent subject their little girl to that?

67. Who can resist this smile?

From Awkward Family Photos: “When you are 6 years old and have been preparing all morning to pose with your hand on your hip for school pictures, because that is the cutest pose after all, and then are told to put your hand on your chin, suddenly pictures don’t seem as fun.”

68. Someone’s creeping among the tall trees.

From Awkward Family Photos: “I was having my senior photos taken and decided that I wanted something different than everyone else. Something that was fun and wasn’t so cookie-cutter. My friend, who was killing some time with me, got a Druid’s cloak from the trunk of my car, (Who didn’t have one of those in their car? It was the 90’s after all), and lurked around in the background. I dunno, I kind of like it.”

69. Mushroom hair was all the rage back in the 1970s.

Apparently, parents at the time thought such hairstyle was cute on their children. But I think it makes this little girl seem like she’s going to haunt your dreams.

70. Make sure the hair pieces always match the dress.

You’d almost think she was straight out of Little House on a Prairie. Save for the top of her hair.

71. Sometimes you’re so blasé that even faking a smile is impossible.

Wonder what’s keeping him down. School picture day? Family troubles? We may never know.

72. Joey must look his best as a keyboard virtuoso.

And here he stands for the picture all proud of himself, too. And yes, he’s a redhead with glasses.

73. Alan is always great at carrying logs on his shoulder.

I don’t like to stereotype but his short shorts aren’t helping one it. Seriously, you can see the pockets.

74. With Lacey, it’s hammer time.

In true MC Hammer fashion, she wears sunglasses and a baseball cap. But you can’t touch this.

75. “Want to see my troll collection?”

Indeed, she has a collection of troll dolls. And all clad in the same dress as she is.

76. This redhaired Fonz always knows he’s cool.

Sure he’s only about 9. But already he thinks he’s the biggest guy on campus.

77. Apparently, this young Juggalo seems to regret his school photo.

I believe he’s not wearing any face paint. Yet, his hair goes in all directions.

78. For your senior picture, you can never have enough props.

Actually, I might beg to differ. Yet, it seems this girl can’t really decide among the crap below.

79. You can pose for a picture in all kinds of patterns.

However, I don’t think a shirt like this is appropriate for a school picture. Seems to consist of sex, lies, and video tape.

80. Senior portraits are always precious.

Yet, I wouldn’t want to pose with Gollum since he needs his precious. Also, he’s been corrupted by the One Ring for far too long.

81. “Can I introduce you to my little friend?”

Yes, he’s holding a rat, which he keeps as a pet. I know it’s kind of weird.

82. Can’t believe I found a grade school picture of Miss Grokey.

She’s the hippie teacher from Recess. Okay, her hair’s short but she more or less resembles a secretary.

83. Cindy always enjoyed hours on the phone.

Before cell phones, people talked to each other on cord phones. You also had to memorize numbers, too.

84. Mike never fails to impress with his own bear.

Here he poses with his beloved bear rug. And yes, the bear has sunglasses to match.

85. “I’ve seen things at pre-school no one dared to talk about.”

Seems like she’s already traumatized by all the playground drama. And she can’t unsee it.

86. Apparently, Ellie’s mom is a hairdresser for old ladies.

From Awkward Family Photos: “Yeah, so I heard my best friend was made into a meme called the 60 year-old girl?”

87. “Ask me to smile one more time…”

Doesn’t help that he’s wearing a pink shirt and a sweater vest. Perhaps he knows he’s going to be beat up at school over his outfit.

88. It’s said that the outdoors bring great acoustics.

Wonder how she got her harp near the waterfall. Since they’re quite huge.

89. You’d think this girl would spend her spare time at a bingo hall.

From Awkward Family Photos: “A gem I found of my sister-in-law. I will call her ‘Razz-A-Ma-Tazz’ for her upside-down shades.”

90. When your hair’s not big enough, wear a wig.

From Awkward Family Photos: “This is my sister’s school photo in 1971. My Mom insisted that she wear and wig and as you can imagine, she wasn’t very happy about it. It was of course great to see your older sister get some pay back for all the torture she had caused me during that period.”

91. “You can get a lot of chicks with a keyboard.”

However, his fashion sense is best to be desired. Thinks he’s cool but comes off as ridiculous.

92. Don’t forget to dress appropriately for the camera.

From Awkward Family Photos: “My friend’s Mom mixed up pajama day with picture day. He was not pleased.”

93. Sometimes you just have to take the plunge.

From Awkward Family Photos: “My daughter collected toilet plungers when she was little. None of them ever met a toilet, face-to-face, she just liked them. She always wanted to see the ‘plunger section’ of any given store we went to. She painted the handles on some of them and would frequently line them up as her opening act for the puppet shows she would put on.”

94. Stanley was voted in his class Most Likely to Become a Serial Killer.

Sure he’s not holding a knife. But a book of pocket knives just makes you wonder about him.

95. There are some kids who don’t always know how to smile.

From Awkward Family Photos: “Our 4 year old daughter, who refers to herself as Penny Cat Aurora Leopard Butterfly With No Wings, was greatly anticipating picture day at preschool. She styled her own outfit for the occasion, and when the photographer told her to ‘Smile pretty like a princess’, this magic happened.”

96. “Let’s explore the wonders of the cosmos.”

Guess this guy is an avid Carl Sagan fan. And yes, the Milky Way Galaxy is made of “billions and billions” of stars.

98. Apparently, her hands are totally out of proportion.

Okay, those are doll hands. But they’re nonetheless incredibly creepy.

99. Casey has a knack for wildlife.

Don’t want to know what he’s doing with that raccoon. Though I know it’s taxidermy.

100. No matter how hard she tries, she just can’t feel it.

Well, she’s trying to smile. But it’s practically impossible for her at this point.

The World According to Stock Photography

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While much of my blog has been filled with posts teeming with outrage over what my country has become since President Pussy-Grabber was sworn in to encouraging ICE to separate families at the border and putting children in cages, tent cities, and concentration camps, we should try to maintain our sanity with some fun now and then. No matter how hard it might seem to be. Nonetheless, like Lord Hamsterhair Cheetohead lately, stock photography is everywhere since it consists of photographs that can be licensed for public or commercial use. Whether used in marketing, advertising, or design as long as it’s not illegal or harmful, many graphic designers, web designers, and other professionals frequently take advantage of stock images to fill their design needs. Anyway, most often you’ll find stock photos on professional websites and greeting cards. In fact, it’s a whole industry which started in the 1920s as a way for professional photographers to market outtakes from commercial photo shoots. But many pro photographers today take photos exclusively for stock purposes since a large portfolio can earn a considerable amount of money each month from selling their images through a photography website. Even if the photographer doesn’t add new photos on a regular basis. Still, they have a reputation for being notoriously cheesy and generic with bland happy faces in their diverse workplaces of harmony and in their seemingly perfect but bland families. But there are some stock photos that are too ridiculous to explain or don’t seem to have any applicable purpose whatsoever. So for your reading pleasure, I give you an assortment of crazy stock photos. By the way, some of these might not be safe for work.

  1. “Do you know how to work this thing?”

I’m sure these guys have no idea to function as a news crew. Or they’re just goofing off.

2. Anyone can be a princess.

However, this guy seems to be really pushing the envelope. Still, he rocks the red sash.

3. So what do they call if you cross a dog and a frog?

Yes, I know it’s photoshopped. But you have to wonder about the mad scientist who’d create this freak of nature.

4. It’s been said his brains are made of noodles.

Granted, I love pasta and noodles. But this isn’t the kind candlelight dinner I’d want to participate in.

5. Not all snails travel at a snail’s pace.

This one practically gallops. Oh, wait, why does this one have legs?

6. Apparently, The Shape of Water didn’t get a stellar reception on a small budget.

This is why using CGI is important. Because simply kissing a fish is just ridiculous.

7. There are centaurs and there are these.

Somehow a horse head with a human lower body doesn’t look so good. And I think the centaur would agree with me.

8. Some chick just got puffed.

Guess someone decided to get a large blue fro. The other can’t help but stare.

9. Apparently, Swamp Thing decided to leave the swamp and get a regular job.

Though he’s got a tendency to track in leaves now and then. Here you see him fetching a file.

10. When you’ve been in a car wreck but the boss insists you show up for work on Monday.

Yeah, you can’t really do your office job after you’ve been injured in a number of places. But I guess his workplace doesn’t have paid sick leave.

11. When you’re robbing the place and want to show some color.

From Outbound: “A jaunty cravat makes any robbery a special occasion.” And here he’s stealing a hard drive.

12. Bertha always saw herself as a queen.

She’s even wearing a pink dress and a tiara. But she thinks she looks fabulous.

13. This astronaut has a flight to catch in space.

I see he’s got his luggage with him since he can’t do his laundry at the ISS. Still, why is he wearing a space suit?

14. It’s nice that Jerry has decided to make dinner tonight.

Heard his secret sauce is from an old family recipe. It’s said to include a tablespoon of arsenic, a teaspoon of strychnine, and just a pinch of cyanide.

15. This dog breed is known as a Jacques Rousseau Terriere.

He’s easy to distinguish from the Jack Russell with his curly mustache, his taste in French bread and wine, and his penchant for berets, paintings, and arthouse films. And he doesn’t care for pretentious cheap dog food either.

16. Apparently, the mime has just managed to escape from the jaws of death.

And by “jaws” I mean large chomping mouth of teeth you’d find at a dentist’s office. Doesn’t seem thrilling does it?

17. Seems like this chimp is quite the chatterbox.

“And then I told him, ‘Dude, chill down. It’s not worth flinging your poo over.'”

18. Didn’t know you could play frisbee with your pet turtle.

Apparently, they’re really great at playing fetch for some reason. Don’t really see why since they move like, well, turtles.

19. Wonder how many pictures did they take of him?

Even this kid is baffled. And he sat for the other pictures.

20. Her face is a little cracked.

Let’s hope that her delicate eggshell face cracks don’t lead anything to spill over. Because that would really make a mess.

21. Wearing a watermelon helmet changes everything.

This is especially when you’re wearing goggles and stick your tongue out. Wonder if he’s high on life.

22. And now, a stop-motion version of Romeo and Juliet by director Wes Anderson.

Yes, it consists of two people wearing animal masks and dressed in hipster clothing. Don’t think this will go well for Wes. Unless he casts Owen Wilson as Friar Lawrence.

23. With romantic dinners, there are just some foods you shouldn’t make out with.

Sharing a kiss during a romantic dinner a la Lady and the Tramp is romantic. Sharing a kiss during a chicken dinner is just plain disgusting.

24. Crazy Larry will clean your car and keep it nice and polished.

But don’t you leave anything in it. Or else he’ll take it and pawn it off for some extra cash to support his meth habit. He’s also had an infamous reputation with the ladies and a record of sexual misconduct.

25. During desert nights, beware of the fierce and dreaded cattysnake.

Known to hang around pumpkin patches for some reason. But while they may be cuddly, their bites are deadly.

26. “Take that, you pathetic puppy!”

I kind of feel bad for the dog here. I mean how is anyone going to take him seriously after getting the crap beat out of him by a guy in a banana costume?

27. When your baking has caused your stove to burst into flames but you don’t have a care in the world.

The smoke detector is on the fritz like crazy. But instead of getting the fire extinguisher or calling the fire department, he’s watching the stove burn with a glass of wine.

28. Want to eat a slice of bread with nails?

Of course, you want to eat that. Because you’d find swallowing all those nails as painful as hell.

29. You’re never too old to have fun.

Since when do they have rocking horses in adult size? And since when do old men enjoy going on horsey rides?

30. When you just have to get that last selfie while your friend is about to be burned for a human sacrifice.

“I know you’ll be burned to death, Kyle. But for now, let’s remember the good times before I get the hell out of here.”

31. “Greg, I don’t think you get the meaning of ‘Casual Friday.'”

I mean he’s showed up with messy hair and no shirt. And I’m not sure if he’s even wearing pants or shoes.

32. “Ahhh, grass!”

Yes, she enjoys lying in the grass. Then again, she could be murdered in the middle of nowhere.

33. “Wanna see my pineapple dance?”

Funny, how that one pineapple is conveniently placed in her crotch region. Not to mention, she’s wearing a winter hat.

34. When you’re in a tender embrace with your significant other but are considering other options.

Indeed, they’re hugging each other while checking their phones. Guess that’s modern dating nowadays.

35. “Help! I’m trapped in a jar with exclamation points!”

And I guess she’s trying to figure her way out of there. Though she might be running out of ideas.

36. “Answer the question or I’ll shoot!”

Not exactly the best way to deal with the big questions. Shoot first never works well.

37. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Business Man!”

Flying in the air faster than a speeding printer and more powerful than a server filled with memoranda. Flying through the sea of finance and willing to save the day from a calamitous paper jam.

38. Presented The Bachelor: Equine Edition.

Watch a bunch of mares compete for the heart of this dashing stallion at this lavish stable. Or as it’s better known: Study Duty.

39. Since she was a little girl, this demonic goblin had a dream to dance.

Here she does her Black Swan dance for the Transylvania Ballet Theater. Graceful isn’t she? Wonder if she’d do well with Gollum.

40. Ever heard of Wendy of Wendy’s? Turns out she has a brother named Wendell.

He’s a certified public accountant at some firm in Cedar Rapids. They don’t talk about him much.

41. “If we should go down, we’ll die together.”

For God’s sake, the two have guns pointed at each other? You can guess they’re going to blow each other’s brains out eventually.

42. A well-dressed mouse should always stand for a portrait.

Though why she has human hands, I have no idea. Though she strikes a regal pose.

43. If you can’t get Bill Nye the Science Guy, here’s Lab Guy Larry.

He’s kind of a poor man’s Bill Nye. Except way more careless and prone to bites from skeletons.

44. This nun seeks prayer and meditation under the sea.

Don’t know how she can be underwater without scuba gear. Not to mention, look serene in that heavy habit.

45. This pampered pooch always has to shop till she drops.

Carrie Pawpaws just has to have those designer dog collars. Not to mention, those fine rawhide bones and squeaky toys.

46. After a career terrorizing Gotham City, the Joker decided to work for Wayne Enterprises as an accountant.

Now whenever he wants to terrorize Gotham, he just embezzles money and commits insider trading. Because white-collar criminals seldom get punished.

47. Open wide for this puffer fish.

Uh, those fish are actually poisonous. So trying to eat one like that is a very easy way to die. But this woman doesn’t get the memo.

48. This boxer has become the reigning champion of his sister’s bedroom.

Or he might just have a girly taste in decorating. You never know. But he doesn’t seem bothered by it either way.

49. Some days you just need to relax with some Post-It Notes.

Notice she has nothing written on them. But she doesn’t give a damn since she’s in her happy place.

50. When you find out that your longtime crush is in a relationship on social media.

Indeed, she feels dead inside. But she can’t really look away. I know she’s getting carried away. Yet, get her time.

51. “Thank God, I saved the crucial paperwork!”

Still, when you’re out in the water, saving the paperwork is the least of your worries. For God’s sake, you’re better off trying to find dry land.

52. “Now, class, when I ring the bell, settle down and I’ll give you candy.”

Not sure if employing Pavlov’s techniques will help. This especially goes if they’re in high school.

53. “Sit down, class, let’s get busy on those physics problems.”

If I had a teacher like that in school, I’d suspect I was in a porno. And that one of my classmates was about to fall victim to statutory rape. Then again, it’s best not to judge by appearances. But come on, would any school let a teacher dress like that?

54. “Sit down, kids, it’s time to learn.”

I guess you won’t have a good time in this guy’s class. Behave or he’ll introduce you to his friend, Mr. Longstick.

55. In the future, people will spend hours marveling and contemplating on corn.

Now I know where that family got their idea for their crazy futuristic corn people Christmas card. Didn’t know it was from a stock photo that made no sense.

56. “All right, don’t move! This is a raid!”

Man, armed robbers and murderers really do start young these days. Also, don’t mind the hand above. My guess is that person is dead.

57. You’ll always have a good time in a string quartet.

Yeah, I don’t think it’s like Sex and the City with stringed instruments and old timey costumes. Yeah, I know it’s really crazy.

58. When it rains, she barely touches the chair.

This stock photo was brought to you by the power and imagination that comes with brown acid. Because someone must’ve been tripping balls to come up with this photo idea.

59. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

Maybe he should take off his clothes first. Then again, it would still be kind of silly. Except if he had rock hard abs. But I can’t imagine that.

60. For some reason those trapped in jars will either panic or try to get out.

The businessman is especially panicky. The construction worker’s just scaling the walls.

61. I’m positive she’s going out with a bang.

Because that’s what happens when you light a dynamite stick with a cigarette. It’s sure to be explosive.

62. “Oh, shit, I’ve burned the chicken!”

Yet, she’s not wearing oven mitts. While smoke is coming out of the oven.

63. Walk on the moon? That’s so 1969.

So this astronaut has decided to bike on the moon. Not sure if the tires will retain air in the vacuum of space.

64. This Christmas Santa is ditching his sleigh and reindeer for a magic jet.

Because he needs a more efficient way to deliver all those presents on one night. Unfortunately, Rudolph and the other reindeer may not see it that way.

65. Is there a fire? Call the fire lizard.

Well, maybe if the fire is confined to a small tree. Comes complete with his red hat and fire extinguisher.

66. Don’t have a defibrillator? A pair of irons will do.

Still, he seems very excited to use them on his patient. Kind has crazy eyes and a weird smile. This doesn’t look good.

67. Introducing Captain Waggles of the U.S.S. Doggypaddle.

Here he is with a lifejacket and fingers up. Wait a minute, dogs don’t have fingers.

68. It’s said those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

And that people who work in glass offices with glass dividers shouldn’t have sex on the job. Let’s hope neither are married with families.

69. When you’re a TV, it’s always dinner for one.

And I see she’s looking at a TV screen. Kind of twisted if you ask me.

70. Didn’t know that farts can leave a cloud of gas.

And it’s drifting to the flowers. Well, at least we aren’t around when the cheese was cut.

71. “Hello, darkness, my old friend….”

Yet, he lies in his bed on a sheet cake which will get his face covered in icing. But he’s laying awake in existential dread and loneliness.

72. When you’re in the buff and you need to feed your cat.

Notice how the fridge door is conveniently placed over him. Just so he can give his cat some meat.

73. “Okay, let’s put our helmets together.”

Yet, they’re clad in high heels and dresses. Not exactly what you’d wear on a motorcycle.

74. Chipmunks like to get it on at the copier.

Don’t know about you. But I’ve got a feeling those at the office will be seeing some chipmunk porn sometime in the near future.

75. Today’s Special: Head.

And she’s in a styrofoam tray covered in plastic wrap. Just like meat at the grocery store.

76. Seems like her lower body isn’t attached to the rest of her.

Yet, she seems to awe at that after the magician sawed her in half. Unfortunately, he couldn’t put her back together.

77. “Excuse me, you dirty whore, but that’s my boyfriend you’re fucking.”

The guy’s like, “Honey, you’re early. Nancy and I were just having a discussion on….adoptions.”

78. Sometimes you can type what you want from the screen.

And the cat’s just staring dumbfounded at the screen. Like it must’ve accidentally drank a milk dish with acid.

79. “Wanna share a cold one with me on the road?”

This guy’s getting so busted if police pull him over. Because drunk driving is dangerous and has killed people.

80. If you want to keep your kids safe on the internet.

My mistake. If you see your kid in night-vision goggles and a tinfoil hat, you best send your kid to a therapist. Otherwise, he might grow up into a full-blown conspiracy theorist like Alex Jones.

81. This guy really wants to see what’s in this laptop.

On the bright side, at least he can’t steal your online data. Only commit deliberate physical sabotage.

82. Behind a dumpster in an alley, an astronaut seeks a horse genie.

The genie grants the spaceman 3 wishes in exchange for a lifetime supply of hay and sugar cubes. Also it shits gold.

83. Someone’s in deep denial on their baldness.

Since he’s using a comb that he doesn’t need. Because he already shaves his head.

84. “All right, Eileen, let’s settle this with an umbrella fight on the roof.”

However, they’re attempting a showdown during a thunderstorm. Not the smartest thing to do, especially if lightning strikes one of them.

85. Here’s the new face of Wall Street Finance with an office at Suite 666.

Still, ladies, I’d stay away from that guy if I were you. Since his looks could kill while his demonic eyes show he’s up to no good.

86. “Jason, I didn’t know your dick was that huge!”

Please don’t tell me that guys look at each other’s dicks in the men’s room. Because I don’t know what to make of this photo.

87. You’d almost swear he takes after his father.

The resemblance is so uncanny. Maybe because they photoshopped the dad’s face to the son.

88. This takes getting canned to a whole new level.

Having to work in a trash can must really suck. But this guy’s taking it in stride.

89. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Malware.

Apparently, wizards can now use and repair computers. While Harry’s not hunting dark wizards, he’s working part-time as an IT guy at the Ministry of Magic.

90. When you have to return to work from a business summit at a nudist colony.

Yeah, that has to be embarrassing. And he only has a briefcase to cover his genitals. Too bad everyone else will see his butt.

91. “Come on, y’all! Let’s take the tennis court back from the jocks!”

With a tennis racket in one and an AR-15 in the other, Bridget leads the punk tennis revolution. It was a glorious moment for goths, punks, and emos everywhere.

92. At the office some men may deflate and lose their spines.

And here is a 100% accurate depiction of a Republican Congressman in Trump’s America. If you’re represented by one, it’s time to vote them out of office in November.

93. Ever have to be deep in thought against a toilet in the middle of the desert?

From Bored Panda: “This is the state of mind one enters at 3am after having crawled home from that awesome night out, spent the last half hour hugging the bowl, then suddenly you become the universe, the whole universe and everything in it.”

94. “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Where’s Life Alert where you need it? Also, Grandma’s not coming to Christmas this year.

95. “Must sniff donut sugar..”

Seems like someone has a problem with white powder donuts. Someone better give her an intervention.

96. Old people enjoy their retirement with a gun over a rabbit that’s cared for life.

It’s only a matter of time until they get the gun back together and shoot the rabbit dead. So run, bunny, run! Or it’s kill the rabbit and rabbit stew.

97. The Lord taketh, the Lord poseth for selfie.

I can’t even list all the things wrong with this. Also, can I see a selfie of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper?

98. Now you can surf the net while riding the waves.

Still, I don’t think he’ll fare so well when he has to ride the big wave. But at least he’s sent his 3rd quarter expense reports.

99. “Just one more picture before we shut the trunk for our escape.”

Luckily for Marvin, his kidnappers were dumb enough to post a photo of a him in a trunk and brag about abducting him on social media. So police will find him and bring him home in no time.

100. When you’re baking cookies while trying to survive the fallout from the apocalypse.

Though the cookies might be a bit radioactive. But sometimes that’s a risk you must be willing to take in the bunker.

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Fourth Edition)

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These are my grandparents from last year. Since my grandfather died a few weeks after that, this year will be my first Christmas without him. Though at least he had the courtesy to not die during the holidays. Yet, that didn’t do me much good since he died the week of my birthday.

Indeed, since Christmas is about family, we all have precious memories about opening presents and spending time with the ones we love. Unless, you’re spending the holidays in French castle during the 12th century. In that case, your parents are Henry II and Eleanor of Acquitaine and let’s just say you’re better off taking a tip from their daughters and spending Christmas with the in-laws. Then again, medieval royal families can be massively dysfunctional. Still, every family has their ups and downs. And it’s no exception on Christmas since there are moments that don’t go the way we plan. But sometimes these terrible times can result into hilarious photos we’ll all laugh at in hindsight. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of awkward moments from Christmas past.

  1. Seems like someone’s Christmas has gotten quite a bit grouchy.

Actually this family took a weird looking tree and turned it into an Oscar the Grouch Christmas tree. Yes, it’s a rather trashy yuletide touch.

2. There are some people who don’t care for surprises.

You can see that someone doesn’t like using wrapping paper on presents. But seems obligated anyway.

3. For unto us a kitten is born.

I’m sorry but using your cats in your nativity themed Christmas card will only result in fits of laughter. This is especially if a cat plays baby Jesus and an angel.

4. Apparently, cat crazies aren’t just limited to one gender.

This guy has 3 cats and a bunny rabbit. And he even sports a mullet. I’m sure there’s a reason why he hadn’t snatched a crazy cat lady by now.

5. Evidently, milk and cookies just won’t do for Santa this time around.

And here’s a young girl pouring some Stella Artois along with some nachos and salsa. Not sure if it does Santa any favors.

6. Sometimes you have to bare all to be the reindeer.

As this chubby baby has done for a Christmas card. Then the parents just add antlers.

7. It’s always the smallest among us who sense the danger.

Yes, that Santa Claus has the face of a serial killer. But only the youngest knows he’s out for blood. Run for your lives, kids!

8. This Christmas, everyone’s got the face of a dog.

Because the dog’s picture is photoshopped on the family members. And they’re all on a dolphin in a waterfall background. Seems like Cousin Phil has been on the brown acid again.

9. A tea party with your stuffed animals is precious, if you’re a child.

If you’re an adult, it just makes you look pretty pathetic. This is especially if you use such an image for your Christmas card.

10. You should always remember to keep a close eye on your children.

I’m sure photoshop had something to do with this picture. Because no parent in hell would let their kids climb up a roof, especially at their age.

11. I’m sure these kids will definitely be on Santa’s naughty list this year.

Yes, these kids have gone down a very bad road. Still, you have to wonder whether someone called child services on their parents.

12. There’s always someone who’ll receive a better present than you.

Little baby gets plush Dalmatian to snuggle. Big sister gets socks which she hates.

13. I don’t think that’s Santa Claus.

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I mean you can easily see the guy’s beard underneath. Guaranteed to ruin any kid’s childhood.

14. Christmas is always a time for joy.

Unfortunately, this little girl just doesn’t have it for the Christmas card. Yes, I know the holidays can be really stressful.

15. Since Laura wasn’t in our family portrait, we decided to make due.

So they stuck a photo of her face and drew in her body. I know it doesn’t really cut it.

16. “C’mon, kids, let’s look at the camera. Oh, forget it.”

Yeah, none of the little kids seem willing to cooperate. Note the kid in the front secretly envies them.

17. “Stop, in the name of the law, Santa!”

Talk about a picture that would trauamatize a child for life. Still, this is pretty hilarious even if it’s kind of inappropriate.

18. Apparently, someone didn’t think posing with Santa in pajamas was a great idea.

Timmy had a very bad feeling about this. Now he just wants to go home.

19. Sometimes there’s always someone who’s just had enough.

Yes, that little one just needs to let it all out. But the family doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

20. “All right, kids, smile for the camera.”

Evidently, these children are incredibly cranky. Seems like, “please don’t make us sit for another stupid picture.”

21. You’re never too young to be embarrassed by your parents.

The little baby isn’t having it. Still, the mom’s got huge glasses that make her resemble a cartoon character.

22. When you can’t use a Christmas tree, you can always improvise.

Though wrapping your dad in streamers and bows hardly compensates. Wonder when he’ll get lose.

23. “Hope you’re not wearing that shirt to Grandma’s, Jerry.”

Yeah, you don’t want to wear a stoner shirt to any family gatherings. Still, it’s pretty hilarious.

24. When wearing an ugly sweater, always make sure it’s appropriate for your audience.

I’m sorry, but 3 reindeer humping each other is not PG. Seriously, he just go change like now.

25. Seems like the men forgot to wear pants.

Not sure which is worse. Is it the dad in boxers or the son in long johns? Can’t decide.

26. Christmas should always be a time of good cheer.

But for parents it’s a time of stress and messes galore. Yes, these two are incredibly tired and want to relax.

27. “Here, Travis, hold the baby for awhile, will you?”

The boy’s basically like, “Oh, please, don’t make me hold the crying baby! I’ll be good.”

28. Just don’t mind the angry woman in the window.

Not sure leaving the kids with Santa is a good idea. Not when there’s a scary lady outside.

29. Sometimes Christmas is not a great time of year to be single.

Yes, she has socks and shoes on her hands. And yes, it’s pretty lame.

30. Remember to place the baby facing the camera during the photoshoot.

Still, I think the kid just fell into the rug. Almost resembles a stunt you see in cartoons.

31. “Shitter’s full.”

I think the guy works in sewage. So it’s rather spot on with the Cousin Eddie get up.

32. “Here, Zack, hold your little brother for the camera.”

Yeah, nobody wants to hold a crying baby. This boy seems especially nervous.

33. “Say your prayers, Mom and Dad.”

These kiddies so aren’t getting presents for Santa. I mean they’ve taken their parents hostages for God’s sake.

34. How do you like Dad’s new suit?

Here he’s all proud of himself in his suit of Christmas lights. A tacky showcase as I ever did see.

35. “Sorry that their dad’s not in the picture, but I used a cutout of the celebrity he most resembles.”

Yes, that’s a cut out of Eddie Murphy. I suppose this picture was taken when he was still relevant.

36. Children always show signs of demon possession at a young age.

Sure he may be harmless now. But soon the babysitters will start to disappear or die in dramatic ways. You’ve been warned.

37. Hope these kids have excellent balance.

This should always bee in the Don’t Try This at Home category. Unless you use photoshop, of course.

38. When kids go punk, they don’t go back.

Yes, teenagers really dressed like that back in the day. But his parents accept him anyway. Or at least have gotten used to it.

39. Here we have Santa with his elves, or a bunch of people dressed as Peter Pan.

Sure dressing as Santa’s elves might seem like a good idea. But when you have cone hats, Peter Pan shirts, and candy canes, it’s time to reconsider.

40. It’s normal for kids to want to imitate their parents.

Just because the parents might kiss, doesn’t mean the kids have to follow. But here you are.

41. Parents always want siblings to pose together.

The girl’s like, “Why do you want me to be the Christmas tree?” Boy’s like, “At last, sweet revenge.”

42. Sometimes children don’t want anything to do with the Christmas card photo.

And it seems the younger kids don’t want to be good boys and smile. The youngest isn’t even looking at the camera.

43. Apparently, Imperial Stormtroopers send Christmas cards to their families.

Odd, since I didn’t know Stormtroopers had dogs either. Still, I’m sure this guy can find anyone at a Star Wars convention if he wanted to.

44. Bridget wishes everyone happy holidays.

And yes, it’s just Bridget drinking her sorrows away. Someone has to find a guy for her.

45. I guess these 3 usually don’t speak to each other during the holidays.

Bet the holidays isn’t fun around this bunch. Save for the dog who can at least get love somewhere.

46. Sometimes a Santa’s work is never done.

Seems like this Santa’s just waiting for the family to sort things out or leave. Because he has a lot of kids to see.

47. Now let’s play spot the stepchild.

“Yes, it’s the one sitting on a stool while the dad plays with the other kids. I’m sure being the stepkid isn’t fun on Christmas.

48. Christmas is always a time of family togetherness.

And yes, the family just can’t get their shit together for a photo op. Even the dogs are at each other’s throats.

49. There’s something shifty about this Santa.

This Santa’s like, “Hurry up and tell me what you want for Christmas, kid, so I can rob a bank. They don’t stay open forever, you know.”

50. When the kid’s not the problem for a family photo, it can sometimes be the dog.

And here’s Scruffy humping Mom’s leg. Always have to do it at the worst time.

51. Christmas is the time when we celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace.

No, not that prince. Since that’s Prince. But the tree surely looks a lot like “Purple Rain.”

52. Some people have simple tastes when it comes to Secret Santa.

For Scott, he just wants anything that costs $20. Preferably a gift card.

53. Sometimes Santa can’t stand the whiny brats on his lap.

Santa’s like, “Please take your screaming brat and make sure I never have to see her again. I need a freaking drink.”

54. Couples pictures should always be about love and tenderness.

Unfortunately, Rover had to relieve himself. Therefore, ruining the family Christmas card.

55. Sometimes expressing disdain takes the most subtle form.

And here is one of the girls giving a finger to the photographer. Yes, tell the camera person what you really think of them.

56. When you can’t find your Christmas stocking and it’s Christmas Eve.

Yes, Allison’s stocking is just a plain old sock from her drawer. Kind of sad if you think about it.

57. Merry Christmas from Hawaii.

And you wouldn’t know it until you see the grandmother dressed like a tacky tourist. Got to love these old timey photos.

58. No, Santa, please don’t touch him there.

Yes, this is pretty disturbing. I’m sure Santa didn’t mean anything. Because it would be horrifying if he did.

59. The girls decided to get matching outfits this year.

Yes, this straight out of the 1980s. And yes, two of them consist of polka dots.

60. This year’s Christmas theme is in the kitchen.

I’m not sure why families do stunts like this. But there you go. Must be a tradition.

61. Don’t look now but little Bobby has something up his nose.

Let’s hope it’s just his nose running. But it more likely seems like he stuck something up there.

62. Apparently, everyone had to bring their best gift bow.

Well, at least they didn’t dress up in boxes. But still, this is pretty weird.

63. No, Dad, this isn’t the time for a beer.

Yes, he’s drinking at the slide. Really setting a good example to the kids. Not.

64. Perhaps it’s not best to change the baby when the grandparents pose for a photo.

Apparently, this baby has no respect for his elders. Seems like we have a budding mooner in our midst.

65. Don’t forget to wear your blue sweatshirts for the snow.

Whole family must be freezing since they’re not wearing freaking coats. Still, lovely scenery.

66. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.”

Evidently, these children don’t strike me as merry or joyous. In fact, quite the contrary.

67. Guess this boy’s been very naughty this year.

Actually, he doesn’t strike me much as a brat. More likely, his family’s just really into the Krampus.

68. Seems like we got some cattle rustlers there.

And all the kiddies have guns with them. Don’t like where this is going.

69. Everyone seems to have wondrous news save for Emily.

To tell the truth, I think a lot of us are Emily. Poor thing.

70. No. that isn’t how you fold napkins on a Christmas table.

Yes, they look exactly what you think they do. You’d almost think this was for a party at the Playboy mansion.

Merry Christmas from Our Family to Yours on Christmas Memories (Third Edition)

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Here is me and my relatives at my Aunt Mary’s on Christmas Eve around 2011, I think. Here am I on the couch with my cousins Frank and John along with their parents. The kids in front are my cousins Jenna, Aiden, Isabella, Morgan, and Sawyer.

Yes, we all have photos from Christmas since they seem to contain memories we want to last forever. This is especially when families have children since they don’t stay kids for long. Yet, as I’ve shown before in these posts, not every Christmas goes according to plan. After all, the days leading up to it can be uniquely stressful since there’s decorating, finding gifts, making the food, doing cards, and what not.Some families might take a step further and do a family portrait for their Christmas card. And there are moments when that can go horribly wrong. Yet, there are plenty of crazy family Christmas cards which people do on purpose. Not to mention, families can also take their kids to see Santa which doesn’t always turn out that well, especially if the Santa in question is quite sketchy. At any rate, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of Christmas memories from Awkward Family Photos. Sure you might not find these in a Hallmark stock photo deck but I’m sure they’ll make you relate.

  1. Christmas is a time of high spirits and good cheer.
Apparently, this isn't the case with the sisters. But the brother seems happy. Though you can argue he's just showing off.

Apparently, this isn’t the case with the sisters. But the brother seems happy. Though you can argue he’s just showing off.

2. Christmas is always a time for families to get together and celebrate.

Of course, for many families, this very much reflects the holiday reality. Yeah, those kids can be a real source of stress.

Of course, for many families, this very much reflects the holiday reality. Yeah, those kids can be a real source of stress.

3. Over the holidays, sibling rivalry can sometimes spiral out of control.

As you can see, the brother puts a bowl over the baby and the baby doesn't like it. If you think kids were brats today, this proves you wrong.

As you can see, the brother puts a bowl over the baby and the baby doesn’t like it. If you think kids were brats today, this proves you wrong.

4. Ugly Christmas sweaters are always fun and festive for all ages.

I guess this kid doesn't believe in Santa Claus anymore. Hope he doesn't try to disillusion the classmates who do.

I guess this kid doesn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore. Hope he doesn’t try to disillusion the classmates who do.

5. Being single can be tough over the holidays, especially if your married siblings send a Christmas card with their picture on it.

This woman did some Christmas cards of herself for years as a single woman. They often feature alcoholic drinks. This one depicts a mannequin boyfriend.

This woman did some Christmas cards of herself for years as a single woman. They often feature alcoholic drinks. This one depicts a mannequin boyfriend.

6. Seems like they had a special day to bring pets to the mall.

Okay, bringing your dog for a Santa photoshoot is one thing. Reptiles? I'm not so sure.

Okay, bringing your dog for a Santa photoshoot is one thing. Reptiles? I’m not so sure.

7. The moment you realize that your parents forgot to buy Christmas cards this year.

Yeah, reusing Christmas cards may not be the best idea. This is especially when there's some stuff crossed out.

Yeah, reusing Christmas cards may not be the best idea. This is especially when there’s some stuff crossed out.

8. There’s no more memorable Christmas carol like, “Hark! This Herald Angel Ain’t Gonna Sing.”

Hey, even little angels can have the occasional bad attitude sometimes. They can't all be angelic all the time.

Hey, even little angels can have the occasional bad attitude sometimes. They can’t all be angelic all the time.

9. The moment you realize the family Christmas card photoshoot is taking longer than your capacity to smile.

"Do we have to take it again? Oh, brother, when will this ever end?" I'm sure we've all been there.

“Do we have to take it again? Oh, brother, when will this ever end?” I’m sure we’ve all been there.

10. The war of sisterly rivalry can sometimes begin when you least expect it.

At least my parents can relax because Molly and I were never like that when we were young. Still, you have to admire the parents though.

At least my parents can relax because Molly and I were never like that when we were young. Still, you have to admire the parents though.

11. These kids don’t seem to look forward to Santa’s Annual Challenge.

While the two middle kids cry, the oldest brother covers his ears to drown out the sound. The baby just sits there having no idea what's going on and pondering the meaning of life.

While the two middle kids cry, the oldest brother covers his ears to drown out the sound. The baby just sits there having no idea what’s going on and pondering the meaning of life.

12. No, I don’t think that’s the right way to hold a baby.

Yeah, the father's hand placement really doesn't look good here. And the baby is not amused by it at all.

Yeah, the father’s hand placement really doesn’t look good here. And the baby is not amused by it at all.

13. Spending the holidays alone can be a real bummer.

This is especially when you're spending it alone in the woods drinking. Girl's got problems.

This is especially when you’re spending it alone in the woods drinking. Girl’s got problems.

14. “How about we all help Daddy shave?”

Now this is freaky photoshop. Yes, they had these in the 1950s, too. Don't ask me.

Now this is freaky photoshop. Yes, they had these in the 1950s, too. Don’t ask me.

15. Sometimes it’s the most unexpected gift which you treasure the most.

And this dad holds his new toilet plunger with pride. Not many men would do the same.

And this dad holds his new toilet plunger with pride. Not many men would do the same.

16. Grandma and Grandpa give you best wishes for Christmas and announce that they’ve decided to give themselves a gift to invest in the future.

I know my grandparents have put some money into their own funerals. But they wouldn't show it on a family Christmas card. This is just insane and disturbing.

I know my grandparents have put some money into their own funerals. But they wouldn’t show it on a family Christmas card. This is just insane and disturbing.

17. Sibling rivalry: they always start so young.

Yes, baby sisters aren't always so sweet as you'd think they'd be. This baby pulls her sister's own hair.

Yes, baby sisters aren’t always so sweet as you’d think they’d be. This baby pulls her sister’s own hair.

18. Christmas always brings tidings of comfort and joy.

Apparently, this doesn't apply to these sisters. This is particularly the case with the youngest being knocked on the floor.

Apparently, this doesn’t apply to these sisters. This is particularly the case with the youngest being knocked on the floor.

19. Sometimes accidents could happen at the most inappropriate moment.

Well, at least the baby is safe. But the older sister might not like being in the middle of it. Yeah, family togetherness has its ups and downs.

Well, at least the baby is safe. But the older sister might not like being in the middle of it. Yeah, family togetherness has its ups and downs.

20. When you’re on call during Christmas, you can get the most interesting patients.

This was on a board in a hospital. Dr. Mest will have a lot of interesting stories to tell come January.

This was on a board in a hospital. Dr. Mest will have a lot of interesting stories to tell come January.

21. In the olden days, it was common for families having to settle for the only Christmas tree available.

This one is known as a Giant Charlie Brown Tree. Yet, unlike what to cartoon shows us, decorating it doesn't enhance its beauty.

This one is known as a Giant Charlie Brown Tree. Yet, unlike what to cartoon shows us, decorating it doesn’t enhance its beauty.

22. There’s nothing more devastating on Christmas than a burning gingerbread house.

Yeah, that's not a good sight to see during the holidays. Hope this little girl doesn't get too traumatized.

Yeah, that’s not a good sight to see during the holidays. Hope this little girl doesn’t get too traumatized.

23. “This Christmas we decided to chop down a shrub to save money.”

Hey, not all evergreen trees can be triangle shaped. Still, this looks pretty ghastly if you ask me.

Hey, not all evergreen trees can be triangle shaped. Still, this looks pretty ghastly if you ask me.

24. It’s not every day a rock band visits Santa Claus.

Apparently, Santa wasn't amused by this group and having to take a photo with them. Yet, Santa would rather be photographed with a real band like Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

Apparently, Santa wasn’t amused by this group and having to take a photo with them. Yet, Santa would rather be photographed with a real band like Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.

25. Even when they’re young, sibling unrest can be rampant.

Now Bobby learns the hard way that you can't boss your little sis for long. Or she might try to retaliate with a vengeance.

Now Bobby learns the hard way that you can’t boss your little sis for long. Or she might try to retaliate with a vengeance.

26. Seasons Greetings from the Village of the Damned.

I don't think the dog has much long to live. Those girls have plans. Very sinister plans.

I don’t think the dog has much long to live. Those girls have plans. Very sinister plans.

27. While selfies can be seen as enhancing one’s ego, sometimes they can be incredibly helpful.

For instance, while this holiday sweater may seem initially decent, it helps to take a closer look. Definitely not wearing that to Grandma's house.

For instance, while this holiday sweater may seem initially decent, it helps to take a closer look. Definitely not wearing that to Grandma’s house.

28. Santa has some visitors from the South Pole.

To be fair, this is from a family who has a tradition like this. Like how they have bowties on their tuxedos.

To be fair, this is from a family who has a tradition like this. Like how they have bowties on their tuxedos.

29. The moment when you and your girlfriend broke up but she still appears on your family Christmas card.

I'm sure holiday season breakups happen all the time. Still, I think it's funny they put a sticker on the woman's face.

I’m sure holiday season breakups happen all the time. Still, I think it’s funny they put a sticker on the woman’s face.

30. We need to understand that not every kid looks forward to see Santa.

Yeah, this kids don't like sitting on Santa's lap. Meanwhile the girls beside him just smile for the camera.

Yeah, this kids don’t like sitting on Santa’s lap. Meanwhile the girls beside him just smile for the camera.

31. Rachel always preferred a wooden man with a mean bite.

Well, this is awkward. Hey, I know there are plenty of girls who like the Nutcracker. But this is ridiculous.

Well, this is awkward. Hey, I know there are plenty of girls who like the Nutcracker. But this is ridiculous.

32. Before you give gifts, always make sure they’re age appropriate first.

Because I know you don't get a pot leaf poster for anyone under 18. But I think this is supposed to be a joke.

Because I know you don’t get a pot leaf poster for anyone under 18. But I think this is supposed to be a joke.

33. Is it just me, or does Santa not seem like his jolly old self lately?

Unfortunately, little Jimmy got stuck with the evil Santa at the mall. He hasn't been seen since.

Unfortunately, little Jimmy got stuck with the evil Santa at the mall. He hasn’t been seen since.

34. Christmas is always a time of precious moments.

Yet, in this case, I don't think little Brittany is holding her brother like that because she loves him. Quite the contrary.

Yet, in this case, I don’t think little Brittany is holding her brother like that because she loves him. Quite the contrary. Her parents might want to get her some psychiatric testing.

35. There’s always that one angel.

The blond girl is like, "Perfect little angel? My ass." Yeah, really not in the angelic spirit.

The blond girl is like, “Perfect little angel? My ass.” Yeah, really not in the angelic spirit.

36. “We just had some problems with the Christmas wrapping.”

Grown people dressed as elves for Santa. Not sure what to think about that. Might be less lame if they dressed as elves from Lord of the Rings.

Grown people dressed as elves for Santa. Not sure what to think about that. Might be less lame if they dressed as elves from Lord of the Rings.

37. Okay, baby, tell us how you really feel about family Christmas card photoshoots.

I guess baby Gabriel couldn't keep it to himself. Yes, I know photoshoots are a real pain in the ass.

I guess baby Gabriel couldn’t keep it to himself. Yes, I know photoshoots are a real pain in the ass.

38. “Another blue dress shirt? Well, this sucks.”

Even funnier that this boy is already wearing a shirt like this one. Guess his aunt didn't get the memo.

Even funnier that this boy is already wearing a shirt like this one. Guess his aunt didn’t get the memo.

39. Seems like Santa doesn’t need a chimney to get in this house.

Because he's apparently popped out of the attic. Okay, those are just decorations.

Because he’s apparently popped out of the attic. Okay, those are just decorations.

40. No, Grandpa, now’s not the time to give Grandma your dick in a box.

I know this is a joke that's a takeoff from an SNL sketch. And I know I'm pushing the envelope with this one. But I couldn't avoid including it if I tried.

I know this is a joke that’s a takeoff from an SNL sketch. And I know I’m pushing the envelope with this one. But I couldn’t avoid including it if I tried.

41. Sometimes even Santa has moments when he questions his sanity.

In this one, Santa wonders whether he's had too much eggnog. Or too many of Mrs. Claus's special brownies.

In this one, Santa wonders whether he’s had too much eggnog. Or too many of Mrs. Claus’s special brownies.

42. Christmas is a time to feel the joy.

Unfortunately, this baby ain't feeling it. Yeah, babies can be quite temperamental in these photos.

Unfortunately, this baby ain’t feeling it. Yeah, babies can be quite temperamental in these photos.

43. This year, Santa went to Whoville.

And once again, he has some interesting stories to tell about that place. Yes, this is pretty ridiculous.

And once again, he has some interesting stories to tell about that place. Yes, this is pretty ridiculous.

44. For unto us a child is born.

However, nativity scene photo reenactments can only go so far. Having your baby play baby Jesus? Fine and perfectly normal. Having your cat play baby Jesus? What the fuck?

However, nativity scene photo reenactments can only go so far. Having your baby play baby Jesus? Fine and perfectly normal. Having your cat play baby Jesus? What the fuck?

45. What better way to spend Christmas than for a drink among friends?

Don't get me wrong, they're all the same woman. Yes, doesn't seem to be in a jolly mood.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re all the same woman. Yes, doesn’t seem to be in a jolly mood.

46. Apparently, the heads seem to pop out of the stocking.

This Christmas card was made possible by photoshop and acid. Yes, they had LSD in the 1950s, too. Just ask Cary Grant who promoted it.

This Christmas card was made possible by photoshop and acid. Yes, they had LSD in the 1950s, too. Just ask Cary Grant who promoted it.

47. “Uh, excuse me, Santa, but I have to go to the bathroom.”

"Timmy, that's no way how to touch yourself in public." Then again, he doesn't seem to be comfortable at all.

“Timmy, that’s no way how to touch yourself in public.” Then again, he doesn’t seem to be comfortable at all.

48. The family that sleeps together, stays together.

Now this is awkward. Let's hope this one is just reserved for the kids, please.

Now this is awkward. Let’s hope this one is just reserved for the kids, please.

49. Before you celebrate the holidays, be sure you get the sweater memo.

Yes, this family has the same sweater on for Christmas. But at least they have different colors according to gender.

Yes, this family has the same sweater on for Christmas. But at least they have different colors according to gender.

50. Finally, Suzie has the dress for her pet monkey.

For the record, don't keep monkeys as pets. Yes, I know they may be cute but they can inflict serious injury. Besides, they're wild animals not meant for you dress like a doll.

For the record, don’t keep monkeys as pets. Yes, I know they may be cute but they can inflict serious injury. Besides, they’re wild animals not meant for you dress like a doll.

51. Looks like one elf has gone postal.

Relax, these are kids just acting up. Well, at least the younger one is. The older one is trying to restrain.

Relax, these are kids just acting up. Well, at least the younger one is. The older one is trying to restrain.

52. Christmas is always a time to be merry and bright.

Unfortunately, the dogs don't seem to be jolly. In fact, they seem to be at each other's throats.

Unfortunately, the dogs don’t seem to be jolly. In fact, they seem to be at each other’s throats.

53. When arranging your Christmas towels, make sure they don’t spell anything unfortunate. This is especially if your name is Peterson.

Yeah, that's really not a great Christmas message. But at least it's an accurate one for a bathroom.

Yeah, that’s really not a great Christmas message. But at least it’s an accurate one for a bathroom.

54. This Christmas, it’s the family that bathes together that stays together.

A family in a tub? Really? Do they have any idea how ridiculous that is? Hope they're wearing swimsuits, good God.

A family in a tub? Really? Do they have any idea how ridiculous that is? Hope they’re wearing swimsuits, good God.

55. Grumpy Cat really doesn’t want to pose for your Christmas card.

Like how the couple explained their cats on how they couldn't cooperate. Yeah, cats march to a different drummer.

Like how the couple explained their cats on how they couldn’t cooperate. Yeah, cats march to a different drummer.

56. Meanwhile, at a Christmas pageant in Colorado…

Three wisemen come from the East bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh-uana. Luckily Willie Nelson did a Christmas song on myrrh-uana on Colbert's Christmas special.

Three wisemen come from the East bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh-uana. Luckily Willie Nelson did a Christmas song on myrrh-uana on Colbert’s Christmas special.

57. “We’d like to wish our family a Merry Christmas…from Florida.”

The flamingo is not fooling anybody. Like the shark costume. And the Santa statue.

The flamingo is not fooling anybody. Like the shark costume. And the Santa statue.

58. “Please, please, take us away from this man! Please, we beg you!”

Poor Santa doesn't seem to know what to do here. Still, a lot of kids are scared of Santa. Remember that.

Poor Santa doesn’t seem to know what to do here. Still, a lot of kids are scared of Santa. Remember that.

59. Nothing says Christmas like spending a day in a sauna with your family.

So the whole family is in towels? Why the hell? This is just crazy on so many levels.

So the whole family is in towels? Why the hell? This is just crazy on so many levels.

60. When she said she wanted anything Frozen, she didn’t mean peas.

Any parent should know this. For God's sake, she would've been happy with an Anna and Elsa notebook. She's understandably pissed.

Any parent should know this. For God’s sake, she would’ve been happy with an Anna and Elsa notebook. She’s understandably pissed.

61. Make your season merry by dressing your family in candy cane pajamas.

Yes, they all come striped. But some are in green as well as red. Yes, this is ridiculous.

Yes, they all come striped. But some are in green as well as red. Yes, this is ridiculous.

62. Unfortunately, Travis was acting up so he had to be restrained.

However, having him duct taped to a wall is kind of pushing it. Seriously, is that even necessary?

However, having him duct taped to a wall is kind of pushing it. Seriously, is that even necessary?

63. The family dog helped decorate the tree this year.

Okay, this is definitely photoshop. Because dogs can't fly. But no one seems to care.

Okay, this is definitely photoshop. Because dogs can’t fly. But no one seems to care.

64. Merry Christmas from the stick figure kids.

I know they're supposed to be cowboys riding horses. But this don't look right.

I know they’re supposed to be cowboys riding horses. But this don’t look right.

65. As we all know, cauliflower faced Santa must be avoided at all times.

Yes, that's a really sketchy Santa. I fear for the boy who's on his lap.

Yes, that’s a really sketchy Santa. I fear for the boy who’s on his lap.

66. There are some gifts for a significant other that are meant to be given in private.

This pair of candy cane boxes is among these. Yeah, I know what, "Lick Me" means.

This pair of candy cane boxes is among these. Yeah, I know what, “Lick Me” means.

67. That moment when the mall Santa can’t wait until his shift is up.

Yeah, he doesn't seem to like his gig too much. Doesn't seem to care for kids either.

Yeah, he doesn’t seem to like his gig too much. Doesn’t seem to care for kids either.

68. Baby Ralphie really admires the leg lamp.

Wonder what the grandparents would think if they saw this Christmas card. This is a play off A Christmas Story.

Wonder what the grandparents would think if they saw this Christmas card. This is a play off A Christmas Story.

69. Merry Christmas from the 21st century.

Yeah, it's kind of like that. Everyone seems to be glued to their devices save the dad.

Yeah, it’s kind of like that. Everyone seems to be glued to their devices save the dad.

70. “How about we all try to catch the snowball?”

Well, not sure if they have a snowball's chance in hell. But this is quite funny.

Well, not sure if they have a snowball’s chance in hell. But this is quite funny.

Bon Voyage Vacation Memories

GE DIGITAL CAMERA

Here am I in one of the gardens at Richmond, Virginia’s Maymont in 2015 with my parents. This gilded age estate boasts an animal sanctuary, a Victorian mansion, gardens, and an arboretum. And yes, it takes all day to walk through it.

In the swing of the summer, August is usually the time when most people go on vacation. Well, at least in the United States anyway. Mostly because the summer vacation is winding down for the kids who will soon be back to school for the most part. Nevertheless, you will find a lot of people want to cherish such trips forever in their scrap books or photo albums so you have people wanting to take pictures of their family. Or they may want to use the vacation photos in their Christmas card. At any rate, I can show you so many great vacation photos from people’s travels. But you’d probably assume that they’re stock photos and probably not find them interesting. So instead, I’d go to Awkward Family Photos and show pictures that don’t depict precious memories as well as were probably taken at the wrong moment. If you think your vacation photos didn’t turn out right, I hope this post makes you feel better. Because it should.

  1. Greetings from Carnival Cruises!
And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it's pretty obvious.

And what better way to show it than by being photoshopped riding on a dolphin? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

2. When you have to answer the call of nature, holding it in can’t wait.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

Helps if you bring your own toilet. Yet, you still have to take your crap with you. Or bury it.

3. Nothing makes a great family vacation photo like a picture in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

However, you should always check if the photo shoot location is a nude beach before you take the picture. Else, you might end up with a full moon near the water.

4. Remember to always wear a life jacket when you’re on a boat. You’ll never know when it’ll come in handy.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don't worry, Sadie, Mom's got you covered.

Yeah, seems like we have someone who fell overboard on the rapids. Don’t worry, Sadie, Mom’s got you covered.

5. “And here is the whole family at the hotel witnessing some guy being taken to the emergency room.”

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy's being taken into an ambulance: hilarious.

Guy being taken into an ambulance: Not funny. Family posing for a vacation photo while a guy’s being taken into an ambulance: Hilarious.

6. Sometimes a Disney World wedding proposal can be so perfect, save for that one pesky tourist who got in the way.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that's a photobomb to remember.

Given that Disney is usually crowded as hell, you have to expect these things. Yeah, that’s a photobomb to remember.

7. Travel to the wonderful picturesque scenery of LaCroaca Beach.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a "Super Fun Zone." Little did they know it was actually a "Superfund Zone." Very different connotation.

Apparently, this family came since they heard it was a “Super Fun Zone.” Little did they know it was actually a “Superfund Zone.” Very different connotation.

8. There’s nothing like spending a great vacation with your dad.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can't unsee that.

However, a father and son photo is not the kind of picture for an old man in a speedo. You can’t unsee that.

9. “No, I don’t want to sit with the Squid Lady!”

Then again, I can't really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

Then again, I can’t really blame the kid. That woman really looks like a sea monster coming after him.

10. “On second thought, maybe taking Sparky with us wasn’t a good idea.”

Yeah, I don't think the dog should be sniffing up that woman's skirt. Really ruins the moment.

Yeah, I don’t think the dog should be sniffing up that woman’s skirt. Really ruins the moment.

11. Sometimes it helps to know what the animals are doing before taking pictures of young children at the zoo.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she's probably watched enough nature shows to know what's going on.

Apparently, the older brother has some fascination with Humping, Humping Hippos. As for the girl, well, she’s probably watched enough nature shows to know what’s going on.

12. On the water, always try to hold onto the raft.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

Or else you can go flying out of the boat or into the water. Luckily he has on his life jacket.

13. Here are the Hendersons in the cave with Perry the Polar Bear.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

And it seems like Perry wants to take Mrs. Henderson and Leslie for a tasty meal afterwards. Then again, Perry may be some really gigantic and ugly Arctic Ferret for all I care.

14. Apparently, Grandpa didn’t take to surfing very well.

Sure it's a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

Sure it’s a photo op. But the grandfather really seems to be in distress here. Not a happy camper in the least.

15. On Carnival Cruise Lines, you can have your picture taken with your favorite Latin American stereotype.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don't need no stinkin' badges.

Seems like this family went with a Mexican bandito. And no, he don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

16. “Just let me finish this one level of Donkey Kong.”

I don't know about you. But I think when you're on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

I don’t know about you. But I think when you’re on vacation, best leave the video games at home. And definitely not play them on Splash Mountain.

17. “Son, it’s about time that I introduce you to the tradition of lederhozen.”

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

I have no idea why lederhozen exists. But this is certainly a picture this boy will certainly not want his classmates to see.

18. Despite what some parents think, sometimes you’re better off not getting your teenage children matching swimsuits.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

This guy must be a brave man to wear a hot pink speedo. Guess this is what guys have to go through if they have sisters.

19. Apparently, there was a massive Pooh epidemic in town.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

In fact, there was Pooh everywhere as far as the eye can see. And we mean literally everywhere.

20. Sometimes your destination may include interesting venue names.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn't understand what "Cow's Ass" means by this point.

This is a leather working shop. Hopefully, little Cindy doesn’t understand what “Cow’s Ass” means by this point.

21. Apparently, Mr. Grizzly was not in a good mood that day.

Well, at least there's a fence so the bear won't attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn't seem that effective. Unless it's electric.

Well, at least there’s a fence so the bear won’t attack anybody. Then again, the fence doesn’t seem that effective. Unless it’s electric.

22. Seems like the Flanders family went to the sharks.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

Relax, they were at an aquarium in North Carolina and got their picture there. Interesting, they chose a shark backdrop for it.

23. Since her was a pup, Rascal always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.

But once he got there, he wasn't impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

But once he got there, he wasn’t impressed with the view. Nobody knows why.

24. Seems like Jimmy is enjoying the family trip to Hawaii this year.

Sorry, kid, but I'm afraid the hula girl's not interested. Don't take it personally.

Sorry, kid, but I’m afraid the hula girl’s not interested. Don’t take it personally.

25. Welcome to Arkansas where they all come fully loaded.

Let's hope this kid isn't holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

Let’s hope this kid isn’t holding a real assault rifle. Because this photo is incredibly disturbing. Really.

26. Unfortunately, some families are bound to experience some vacation dismemberment.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture. As you see, it did not go well at all.

This is actually a botched attempt of a panorama picture so no actual dismemberment took place. But looking at it…

27. There’s nothing better than a family vacation to Disney World which is the happiest place on earth.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

The Sadlers seemed to think otherwise. From their faces, they probably became disappointed once they saw how long the lines were for the rides.

28. You can’t have a family vacation without a soak in a Jacuzzi.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can't hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

I see these kind of pictures a lot and they always seem awkward. A few of the guys can’t hide their discomfort for the picture. No wonder.

29. “Honey, do you know where Travis is? You told me he was in the tent.”

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

In reality, the kid was on the tent, not in the tent. Still, someone get him off there.

30. Hop aboard the good ship, Hornblower Invader.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who's a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

To be fair, there is a guy named Hornblower in literature who’s a naval officer. But the name can sound so dirty that it just gives me giggles.

31. Despite being seen as “the happiest place on earth,” we have to accept the fact that Disney World has an insidious dark side.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You're supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

Oh, my God, Mickey, what the hell are you doing? You’re supposed to hug and pose with children, not eat them! Never seen something so horrifying.

32. Hop along the Wet Dream, kiddos.

Well, the word "wet dream" has another meaning. But I don't think it's something to tell the kids about till they're older.

Well, the word “wet dream” has another meaning. But I don’t think it’s something to tell the kids about till they’re older.

33. Now Lexie had understood what Jason meant when he talked about “the big one that got away.”

Seems like she's jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don't think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

Seems like she’s jealous that her boyfriend appears more interested in the fish than in her. I don’t think she understands what he has with Big Mouth Billy Bass. And never will.

34. There are some people who love roller coaster rides, then there are people like this.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She'll be in for a wild ride.

My dad is totally this girl when it comes to roller coasters. She’ll be in for a wild ride.

35. When you wanted to go see Evanescence but are stuck with going to the family cabin instead.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers.

That girl really stands out in this picture. Then again, you tend to have that with teenagers. It’s part of life.

36. When camping, nobody puts baby in a corner but on a post.

Well, that's one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

Well, that’s one way to keep an eye on the baby. Wonder if they had camping high chairs back then. Probably not.

37. When naming a geographic location, make sure it doesn’t have unfortunate implications.

Honestly, she's not a hoe. That's just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

Honestly, she’s not a hoe. That’s just the name of the place. But you get the joke.

38. “Watch where you place your hand, Bobby!”

To be fair, the kid doesn't know any better. But yes, it's a very unfortunate placement that you don't want on a Christmas card.

To be fair, the kid doesn’t know any better. But yes, it’s a very unfortunate placement that you don’t want on a Christmas card.

39. Greetings from Park City Mountain Resort!

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

The place where sibling rivalries are known to intensify. Even on the ski lifts.

40. This is a great place to see a giant tortoise up close and personal.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

In fairness, this seems to be photoshopped by some zoo. Yet, it begs the question why the place would have a mating turtle backdrop to begin with.

41. Think deer are pleasant creatures? Think again.

Man, some animals just don't seem to know fear. Don't worry the girl only received a bruise.

Man, some animals just don’t seem to know fear. Don’t worry the girl only received a bruise.

42. There are some foods that are too much for a seagull to resist.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they're coastal birds.

Then again, seagulls eat almost anything they could get their beaks on. But they especially like fish since they’re coastal birds.

43. For some reason, the squirrel wanted to smile for the camera.

At first this photo doesn't seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera.

At first this photo doesn’t seem out of the ordinary. Until you see the squirrel facing the camera. Then you wonder if it’s nuts.

44. There are some couples’ vacation photos that beg the question, “Why?”

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

Guess these two wanted a photo together to embarrass their kids with someday. Future and otherwise.

45. Recently, she’s become a magnet for macaws.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it's quite tame in comparison.

Kind of reminds me of those vintage bikini postcard photos for some reason. Then again, it’s quite tame in comparison.

46. “Hey, that wasn’t supposed to happen on the elephant ride!”

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn't show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

Guess this was how Dumbo was made. Bet Disney didn’t show you that. Still, like how one guy seems excited about it.

47. Maybe they should’ve hired a better T-shirt designer for the family reunion.

That's a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

That’s a very unfortunate design. Guess the little kid just learned a new curse word.

48. When driving around the animals, always keep your window up.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

Talk about a traumatizing moment. Hope the boy is all right after that. And has brought a change of clothes.

49. This old lady is like, “I never want to go on this ride again.”

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn't blame her. But that look her face says it all.

Since this photo was taken on a water ride, I wouldn’t blame her. But that look her face says it all.

50.  Woodland scenery always makes a great romantic photo op.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that's what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

Except when you see two bears mating in the background. Yes, that’s what hot grizzly action looks like kids. No joke.

51. “Sorry, Grandma, but it’s for your own good.”

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It's the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

Pushing your granny off of Niagra Falls. It’s the kind of touching family photo only the likes of Alfred Hitchcock would dream of making into a movie.

52. That moment when you want to take a picture of your kids during nuclear testing.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

You got to hope that photoshop was going on here. Otherwise, those kids might be doomed for all we know.

53. “Excuse me, but could you take me and my cubs to the salmon spawning grounds?”

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

That has to make you shit your pants. Seriously, if a bear comes that close to you, stay in the car and drive off. Just do it.

54. Nothing is more fun than pretending to be African tribesmen killing taxidermied animals.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it's pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

I know this might be offensive to some people. But I think it’s pretty funny. Besides, this picture was taken in the 1970s anyway.

55. At Zakopane, dog sled rides are fun for the whole family.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

However, that has to be someone in a polar bear suit. And it seems to have the body of an Abominable Snowman.

56. “Aaaah! Giraffe Man in the water! Run for your lives!”

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he's not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

This is just too much. Like how everyone seems scared by a guy in a giraffe suit. And he’s not nearly as scary as a maneating shark.

57. When you’re hiking and are the one holding all the equipment.

Apparently, "share the load" doesn't apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

Apparently, “share the load” doesn’t apply to this guy for some reason. Can see why the woman appears to resent him. Hope she gets a free trip to a massage parlor afterwards.

58. Nothing is scarier to children than a banjo playing gator.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

Even funnier, that gator is nowhere near intimidating. But the kids are crying anyway.

59. Sometimes you never know who you’re going to meet on the road.

Yes, there's a biker gang nearby. No, I don't know if they're just there to admire the scenery. But it's pretty funny.

Yes, there’s a biker gang nearby. No, I don’t know if they’re just there to admire the scenery. But it’s pretty funny.

60. Introducing the “Dad Tan.”

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn't know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

Not sure if those are his tan lines or he doesn’t know how to put on sunscreen correctly. Either way, he might need to apply the Aloe Vera.

61. When it comes to meth, just let it go before this happens.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you're in really deep shit, too.

Elsa, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell. And you seem like you’re in really deep shit, too.

62. Here is Tom taking a jump at the Grand Canyon.

Don't worry it's photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

Don’t worry it’s photoshopped. But it sure will freak out his parents.

63. Your first time on water skis could be a rather crazy experience.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn't really blame him either.

This kid is holding his breath. Wouldn’t really blame him either.

64. Sibling rivalry: sometimes it can start at a very young age.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

This is bound to give your parents a heart attack. Then again, maybe the other kid lost balance.

65. “Aaah! There’s an ostrich at my window!”

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you'd feel the same way.

I can understand why that woman is screaming. If an ostrich appeared at your car window, you’d feel the same way.

66. Sometimes moments like these make you wish to have a vacation away from your embarrassing family.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

Family vacations can be inescapable things sometimes. Particularly when to posing for crazy photo ops.

67. “Who put tomato slices on my legs?”

If I were her, I'd be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

If I were her, I’d be asking the same question. Then again, she was probably a prank target.

68. For some reason, little Cassidy was different from the other girls.

Seems like she's looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

Seems like she’s looking a bit grizzly lately. Best to not get on her bad side for the time being.

69. You always need a picture with giraffes on a zoo trip.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

And I guess the trip became a rather educational experience for this young girl. Or at least when she saw what the giraffes were doing in the background.

70. When photographing your kids near rocks, make sure they don’t have anything written on them.

Yeah, "get high" is not an appropriate message for children. But it's graffiti so it's not where it's supposed to be anyway.

Yeah, “get high” is not an appropriate message for children. But it’s graffiti so it’s not where it’s supposed to be anyway.

71. Someone wake up Grandma before she’s underwater.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don't want to be at the tide.

Well, she certainly chose the wrong place to sit at the beach. Don’t want to be at the tide.

72. Seems like this place is having a ball.

Let's hope this little girl doesn't know what the word, "testicle" means. At least until she's older.

Let’s hope this little girl doesn’t know what the word, “testicle” means. At least until she’s older.

73. Seems like Maisy fell out of the plane.

Don't worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she's fine. Seriously.

Don’t worry. Her mom and her sister have her. So she’s fine. Seriously.

74. Someone help her before she falls off a cliff.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it's disturbing.

Again, this is a photoshopped picture designed to freak out parents. But still, it’s disturbing.

75. Someone doesn’t think that Tiggers are wonderful things.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

For the girl hiding under the table, Tiggers are the stuff of nightmares. Of great, big, bouncy nightmares.

76. How about a moon over Manhattan?

I didn't mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

I didn’t mean that kind of moon. But you can see the photographer was in for a big surprise when this picture developed.

77. Someone doesn’t seem to be enjoying their Caribbean vacation.

Then again, the guy's face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn't with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn't look right at all.

Then again, the guy’s face totally seems photoshopped since he probably wasn’t with his folks on the trip to begin with. Doesn’t look right at all.

78. When everyone’s exhausted on the trip and you’re wanting to see more.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

Then again, the baby was probably tiring out the whole family. And might even cry just for the heck of it.

79. This has to be a view from another world.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

This is a beach where kids are on leashes and dogs run free. Hopefully the dogs are spayed or neutered.

80. “Did we miss anybody?”

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they'll have to go back for him.

Looks like someone fell off the raft in the rapids. Guess they’ll have to go back for him.

Pomp and Circumstance on Graduation Memories

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Here am I standing with me and my parents and sister Molly at my graduation from Yough High School in June 2008. I was thinking about putting my sister’s picture. But I decided against it because I already put her high school graduation picture in my Father’s Day post.

As the school year winds down to a close, so comes graduation season where all seniors prepare to say goodbye and face the world years of education prepared them for. Since I’m a 2008 graduate of Yough High School as well as a 2012 graduate of Saint Vincent College, I can say I’ve been down the commencement cap and gown road twice in my life. Such experience is bittersweet for me since while I have gotten a sense of accomplishment that years of committing to my education have paid off, I also feel a bit sad that I miss the place and the people. But perhaps there’s always a trade off. After all, receiving your college degree is a proud moment even though it means you’ll have years of struggle to pay for your student loans. Nevertheless, graduations usually consists of students entering in procession dressed in their caps and gowns as each one is called to receive their degree. There’s usually a commencement speaker giving a few remarks for the graduates as well as other performances. It’s quite an elaborate ceremony. It’s kind of funny at my high school graduation, we had our state senator at the time Bob Regola who kind of got in trouble for perjury after his kid and a neighbor were involved in some firearms mishap that killed the latter. The guy was later forced to resign. Yet, while there are many graduations that consist of wonderful ceremonies, some don’t always go as well as planned. And for your pleasure, I show a treasure trove of photos pertaining to the not so savory sentiments of graduation.

  1. Guess someone is questioning their degree’s worth already.
As you'll see, some grads decorate their caps in unique ways. I suppose "B.S." either stands for bullshit or Bachelor in Science.

As you’ll see, some grads decorate their caps in unique ways. I suppose “B.S.” either stands for bullshit or Bachelor in Science.

2. At graduation, you never know what people are wearing under their gowns.

I guess these women are from some state like California or Hawaii. Because I don't think I could wear a swimsuit under my cap and gown.

I guess these women are from some state like California or Hawaii. Because I don’t think I could wear a swimsuit under my cap and gown.

3. Seems like some people are excited that they’ve graduated.

I think these guys are from China. Still, all seem to have their gown blowing with one jumping into the air.

I think these guys are from China. Still, all seem to have their gown blowing with one jumping into the air.

4. Seems like someone is happy with their advanced degree.

I think this might be someone's dad in his kid's cap and gown. And it's probably done as a joke. Pretty funny.

I think this might be someone’s dad in his kid’s cap and gown. And it’s probably done as a joke. Pretty funny.

5. Apparently, not everyone is basking in the glories of their graduation.

Either that, or the girl doesn't like having her picture taken. That, or she was doing a photo bomb.

Either that, or the girl doesn’t like having her picture taken. That, or she was doing a photo bomb.

6. This guy made it and has the diploma and picture to show for it.

However, you have to wonder about his school's colors. Maroon? Please. Still, love his goofy grin.

However, you have to wonder about his school’s colors. Maroon? Please. Still, love his goofy grin.

7. Now I can fully understand why this person went to college.

Also, Hogwarts is a school for wizarding youth ages 11-18. Perhaps being a Muggle at 18 was a factor as well.

Also, Hogwarts is a school for wizarding youth ages 11-18. Perhaps being a Muggle at 18 was a factor as well.

8. Dobby has graduated. Dobby is freed.

Yes, these caps are very creative. Who knew that Dobby needed a diploma to be freed from the Malfoys? Oh, wait he needed a sock.

Yes, these caps are very creative. Who knew that Dobby needed a diploma to be freed from the Malfoys? Oh, wait he needed a sock.

9. Those who graduate are more likely to have their life on the right track.

However, this girl isn't one of them because she's standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. Seriously, she's putting herself at a very dangerous risk of being mangled and run over.

However, this girl isn’t one of them because she’s standing in the middle of the railroad tracks. Seriously, she’s putting herself at a very dangerous risk of being mangled and run over.

10. Being photographed with your parents in your cap and gown is always a proud moment.

At least for this dad who just can't resist embarrassing his son one last time. Yes, that will do it.

At least for this dad who just can’t resist embarrassing his son one last time. Yes, that will do it.

11. Sure you nearly flunked but at least you made it.

I don't know about you. But I'm sure this guy isn't going to be college material for receiving a 1.9. But at least he didn't flunk.

I don’t know about you. But I’m sure this guy isn’t going to be college material for receiving a 1.9. But at least he didn’t flunk.

12. Remember, graduates, processions always take one step at a time.

And it seems this girl tripped during "Pomp and Circumstance." Still, this place kind of reminds me of my high school stadium, except the stands are significantly lower.

And it seems this girl tripped during “Pomp and Circumstance.” Still, this place kind of reminds me of my high school stadium, except the stands are significantly lower.

13. Posing with your family at graduation is always a highlight.

And it seems that this young woman has an interesting family worthy of a sitcom. You have to wonder what her life is like at home.

And it seems that this young woman has an interesting family worthy of a sitcom. You have to wonder what her life is like at home.

14. Of course, if it’s your sibling’s graduation, you might hate them for getting all the attention.

Can't this boy at least try to be happy for his sister? Yes, it's her day. But he'll get his time in a few years. Trust me.

Can’t this boy at least try to be happy for his sister? Yes, it’s her day. But he’ll get his time in a few years. Trust me.

15. Some graduates make better entrances than others.

And it seems like this girl embarrassed herself by falling flat on her face to receive her diploma. I'm sure she's going to be well remembered for years.

And it seems like this girl embarrassed herself by falling flat on her face to receive her diploma. I’m sure she’s going to be well remembered for years.

16. I guess this person managed to graduate by a nose.

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, or carriage rides?

Wonder whether this grad plans to major in. Dressage, steeplechase, polo, equestrian, racing, or carriage rides?

17. Oh, great, some major dick has to screw it up for everyone and get all the attention.

I'm sure the parents with small children had a very tough time explaining this moment. Seriously, who the hell crashes a graduation in a dick costume? Then again, there's that one college in Rhode Island that has a mascot named Scrotie.

I’m sure the parents with small children had a very tough time explaining this moment. Seriously, who the hell crashes a graduation in a dick costume? Then again, there’s that one college in Rhode Island that has a mascot named Scrotie.

18. Remember, after receiving your diploma, watch yourself on your way out.

And it seems like someone tripped and fell as they were leaving the stage. Of course, this is the third trip picture I posted already.

And it seems like someone tripped and fell as they were leaving the stage. Of course, this is the third trip picture I posted already.

19. I guess these two guys were known to be quite the party animals.

Because how else could they have beer pongs on their caps? Wonder what their parents are thinking.

Because how else could they have beer pongs on their caps? Wonder what their parents are thinking.

20. At high schools, it’s always a custom for the valedictorian and the salutatorian to give a speech during the ceremony.

However, we're not sure if cue cards are used or not. Then again, someone was probably playing a prank.

However, we’re not sure if cue cards are used or not. Then again, someone was probably playing a prank.

21. You can guess what this person is doing after graduation.

And yes, I feel for that person. Mostly because I haven't been able to get a steady income that could pay for mine.

And yes, I feel for that person. Mostly because I haven’t been able to get a steady income that could pay for mine.

22. While black men have it better as graduates, this doesn’t always curb their incarceration rates.

Introduce young black boys to Hamilton and they're off getting arrested for spontaneously bursting into song and dance routines on the streets. Yes, musical theater is a real menace in the African American community these days.

Introduce young black boys to Hamilton and they’re off getting arrested for spontaneously bursting into song and dance routines on the streets. Yes, musical theater is a real menace in the African American community these days.

23. Yes, tell them what it really cost you.

Man, $200,000 for a college education. I took out less than that on student loans and I'm still struggling to pay them.

Man, $200,000 for a college education. I took out less than that on student loans and I’m still struggling to pay them.

24. Now they received an education, they couldn’t care less about their school these days.

Yes, throw your caps as your school that provided your education smolders behind you. You bastards.

Yes, throw your caps as your school that provided your education smolders behind you. You bastards.

25. Sometimes cap designs can get quite elaborate.

This woman has a computer box and a piggy bank on hers. How she keeps her head up, I have no idea.

This woman has a computer box and a piggy bank on hers. How she keeps her head up, I have no idea.

26. That’s an interesting graduation cap there.

Wonder why this girl opted for a Nike swoosh instead of a conventional graduation cap square. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed more.

Wonder why this girl opted for a Nike swoosh instead of a conventional graduation cap square. Maybe she just wanted to be noticed more.

27. Guess someone plans to watch something scary after the commencement ceremony.

Yes, I could say American Horror Story Student Loans is a very scary series. This is especially when you have bad social skills and have to do job interviews.

Yes, I could say American Horror Story Student Loans is a very scary series. This is especially when you have bad social skills and have to do job interviews.

28. After commencement, it helps for some to take a rest.

And it seems these people prefer to take a nap on a tree. Let's not disturb them.

And it seems these people prefer to take a nap on a tree. Let’s not disturb them.

29. So I guess some colleges do have mixed martial arts majors.

This is from China and is probably photoshopped. Nevertheless, I'm sure some grads dreamed of pulling this one off.

This is from China and is probably photoshopped. Nevertheless, I’m sure some grads dreamed of pulling this one off.

30. At some commencements, there’s always someone who needs a little extra to get by.

Let's hope this is a college graduation. Still, I think this guy with the bottle might have a problem.

Let’s hope this is a college graduation. Still, I think this guy with the bottle might have a problem.

31. This girl always wondered why no one saw her haircut.

Maybe because she wore a headscarf all the time as a practicing Muslim. That could explain a lot.

Maybe because she wore a headscarf all the time as a practicing Muslim. That could explain a lot.

32. That moment when you realize when you need to pay those loans for obedience school.

Okay, I don't think it's the dog's graduation. But that look in the cap and gown is so priceless.

Okay, I don’t think it’s the dog’s graduation. But that look in the cap and gown is so priceless.

33. While most grads are covered in their caps and gowns, some show up in their birthday suit.

So I guess wacky graduation hijinks are nothing new. Wonder what this guy's parents thought about his stunt when he received his diploma.

So I guess wacky graduation hijinks are nothing new. Wonder what this guy’s parents thought about his stunt when he received his diploma.

34. Guess this guy is now graduated from college.

However, you'd think a graduate from NC State would know how to use proper grammar. It's "I am" not "I is."

However, you’d think a graduate from NC State would know how to use proper grammar. It’s “I am” not “I is.”

35. Congratulations on your graduation and here is your AK-47.

I'm thinking this is in Africa, but I don't want to be stereotypical. Oh wait, I just was. Still, the AK-47s don't give me hope here.

I’m thinking this is in Africa, but I don’t want to be stereotypical. Oh wait, I just was. Still, the AK-47s don’t give me hope here.

36. Some grads wished to build a little world in one little place.

This one seems to have a little house built on his cap. Guess he couldn't resist his creative impulses.

This one seems to have a little house built on his cap. Guess he couldn’t resist his creative impulses.

37. Congratulations, graduate, and may the Force be with you.

I'm sure these grads will treasure this moment forever. Guess there was a Star Wars convention in their town at the time.

I’m sure these grads will treasure this moment forever. Guess there was a Star Wars convention in their town at the time.

38. I’m sure the grads aren’t looking forward to their graduation surprise.

I don't think I'd want to have water dumped on me at my graduation. Then again, this is probably from a different country.

I don’t think I’d want to have water dumped on me at my graduation. Then again, this is probably from a different country.

39. This is a big day for this Imperial Stormtrooper.

Sure he's a terrible shot. But at least he managed to get an education so he could contribute to society in a different way.

Sure he’s a terrible shot. But at least he managed to get an education so he could contribute to society in a different way.

40. Not sure if I’d want to know what’s under his gown.

I guess these girls were in for a disturbing surprise. Then again, it's probably staged as a joke.

I guess these girls were in for a disturbing surprise. Then again, it’s probably staged as a joke.

41. Sometimes it all takes one guy in the background can ruin your Kodak moment.

You have to wonder whether this picture was taken on a digital camera. Because I don't think whoever took this picture noticed the guy mooning behind this girl.

You have to wonder whether this picture was taken on a digital camera. Because I don’t think whoever took this picture noticed the guy mooning behind this girl.

42. Well, I guess this guy’s future is ruined.

But at least the cops were nice enough to wait and let him graduate before taking him. You have to respect that at least.

But at least the cops were nice enough to wait and let him graduate before taking him. You have to respect that at least.

43. I think that this girl isn’t from the most happy families.

Then again, perhaps the people behind these two were in an argument. You know how stuff like this goes.

Then again, perhaps the people behind these two were in an argument. You know how stuff like this goes.

44. This car has a graduate on bored.

Maybe a bored graduate. However, it should be "graduate on board." Ever heard of homonyms?

Maybe a bored graduate. However, it should be “graduate on board.” Ever heard of homonyms?

45. During boring commencement speeches, it helps if you have something to bide the time.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, she needs a straw hat for cover.

I guess this was taken in the 1980s or 1990s. However, the straw hat is for cover.

46. Okay, what’s that sticking out of that guy’s cap?

I think it's a diorama of some sort. But it sure sticks out like a sore thumb to me.

I think it’s a diorama of some sort. But it sure sticks out like a sore thumb to me.

47. I’m guessing this person is anxious about employment prospects.

Sure I feel for this person since I've struggled to get a job for a long time. And it doesn't seem to end.

Sure I feel for this person since I’ve struggled to get a job for a long time. And it doesn’t seem to end.

48. For graduates, group photos are always a custom.

Of course, don't mind the guy behind you. And yes, that face is quite strange and a bit creepy.

Of course, don’t mind the guy behind you. And yes, that face is quite strange and a bit creepy.

49. Families are always there to celebrate our precious moments whether we want them to or not.

Yeah, I think this girl just captured what a lot of us think about our families sometimes. Because they usually are the people in our lives we can't avoid.

Yeah, I think this girl just captured what a lot of us think about our families sometimes. Because they usually are the people in our lives we can’t avoid.

50. Seems like the cows have gone to pasture on her cap.

So she made her graduation cap into a pasture diorama. Interesting.

So she made her graduation cap into a pasture diorama. Interesting.

51. “But I don’t want to go into the real world, it’s scary out there.”

Then again, he might either be scared or just wants to sneeze. Not sure which.

Then again, he might either be scared or just wants to sneeze. Not sure which.

52. Congratulations on your graduation, lady terrorists?

Sorry to offend anyone here but it's not what you'd think. It's actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don't mix.

Sorry to offend anyone here but it’s not what you’d think it is. It’s actually a graduation ceremony of women in the Iranian police force. However, as an American, I tend to be accustomed to the idea that assault weapons and hijabs don’t mix.

53. I’m sure this guy will be ready when he has to take his cap off.

Then again, I'm sure he's using his remote control to light up the cap. And he probably has no intention taking it off.

Then again, I’m sure he’s using his remote control to light up the cap. And he probably has no intention taking it off.

54. For her graduation photo, nothing could do better than the Bard.

Sure she might like Shakespeare. But she might just be sucking up to her drama teacher. Not sure which.

Sure she might like Shakespeare. But she might just be sucking up to her drama teacher. Not sure which.

55. After commencement it helps to get out of your gowns to relax.

And it seems that this women didn't have a lot on them when they received their diplomas. Still, at least their underwear matches.

And it seems that this women didn’t have a lot on them when they received their diplomas. Still, at least their underwear matches.

56. He just had to have a cap in his likeness.

Not sure what to think about this. Seems like his picture has him spurting blue stuff down his nose.

Not sure what to think about this. Seems like his picture has him spurting blue stuff down his nose. But at least they’ll know it’s his when he throws it up.

57. Congratulations, it’s a graduate!

What the fuck got these guy to do something like this? This is just incredibly crazy if you ask me.

What the fuck got these guy to do something like this? This is just incredibly crazy if you ask me.

58. I give this graduation 2 thumbs up.

Seems like he's trying to be enthusiastic. But he doesn't seem that way. At least as I can tell.

Seems like he’s trying to be enthusiastic. But he doesn’t seem that way. At least as I can tell.

59. Yes, graduation is a highly emotional time.

This is especially if you're Carrot Top receiving his diploma from an orange face man. Yes, it's quite a time.

This is especially if you’re Carrot Top receiving his diploma from an orange face man. Yes, it’s quite a time.

60. I think this cap explains a lot about recent grads.

Well, I didn't have any idea of what I was doing either. Sometimes I still don't.

Well, I didn’t have any idea of what I was doing either. Sometimes I still don’t.

61. Wonder what this valedictorian has to say in his speech.

Hey, that's Weird Al Yankovic giving his valedictorian speech. And yes, he's as weird now as he was then. But he's one of the most successful musical comedy artists of all time.

Hey, that’s Weird Al Yankovic giving his valedictorian speech. And yes, he’s as weird now as he was then. But he’s one of the most successful musical comedy artists of all time.

62. I guess this girl expects to be seated with dumbasses.

How else could I have guessed? Guess "I'm with Stupid" is a dead giveaway.

How else could I have guessed? Guess “I’m with Stupid” is a dead giveaway.

63. Each school tends to have their own traditions.

And apparently, this guy's school tends to photograph their graduates with a lei of pot. Or so it looks like it.

And apparently, this guy’s school tends to photograph their graduates with a lei of pot. Or so it looks like it.

64. When it comes to graduation, these soldiers are always alert.

Apparently, not. Yes, these are of the military who are trained to combat enemy fire. But they can't seem to keep themselves awake during a commencement speech.

Apparently, not. Yes, these are of the military who are trained to combat enemy fire. But they can’t seem to keep themselves awake during a commencement speech.

65. Sometimes the cap doesn’t always fit in with the hairstyle.

I hope this kid either gets a job at some punk rock locale, design studio, or tattoo parlor. Because I don't think a regular office would hire him.

I hope this kid either gets a job at some punk rock locale, design studio, or tattoo parlor. Because I don’t think a regular office would hire him.

66. At some graduations, the weather gets more attention if it takes place outdoors.

Well, seems like there could be a tornado in their midst. Apparently, the strange thing about this is that it's in New Jersey.

Well, seems like there could be a tornado in their midst. Apparently, the strange thing about this is that it’s in New Jersey.

67. As far as caps are concerned, sometimes it’s hard to fit your hair in it.

Yes, 1980s hair and a square cap don't go well together. And yes, this looks pretty awkward indeed.

Yes, 1980s hair and a square cap don’t go well together. And yes, this looks pretty awkward indeed.

68. When it comes to graduation parties, some people tend to multi-task.

Well, at least Cortney got her education out of the way. Because she's gonna need it where she's going.

Well, at least Cortney got her education out of the way. Because she’s gonna need it where she’s going.

69. In Russia, some grads are transported through a shopping cart.

Well, as far as Russians are concerned, this isn't that crazy. Still pretty funny.

Well, as far as Russians are concerned, this isn’t that crazy. Still pretty funny.

70. Sometimes there are those who can’t stay awake during a boring speech.

Whether he'd be up when they call his name is the question. Hope he is so he could make his parents proud.

Whether he’d be up when they call his name is the question. Hope he is so he could make his parents proud.

Memorable Senior Portaits from Bygone High School Days

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No, this isn’t my senior picture. But it’s a picture of me and my sister Molly, on our first day of the last year we went to the same school together. Here I am a senior in high school while my sister is a freshman.

Sure senior picture season is over and has been since they do them in the fall. However, graduation season will be upon us before you know it so I might as well do some posts pertaining to that. Nevertheless, when you’re in high school, your senior year is usually seen as particularly special since your class occupies the leadership roles in student organizations as well as have events dedicated to you like Homecoming Court, Senior Night, and all that stuff. One of the big traditions for senior high school students is the senior picture. Traditionally, these pictures were used for the yearbook and still are (as was mine). However, there are plenty of seniors and their families who tend to be a little creative with some of their photoshoots. After all, my cousins Josh and Nick have senior pictures that seem rather specialized as they hang at my Aunt Mary’s house. But since my parents are cheap and didn’t like the studio my school district hired, we decided to go to a professional photographer for mine at Target even though the pictures didn’t turn out so right either. Let’s just say I wasn’t the most photogenic girl at the time. Still, at least I didn’t have a senior portrait that was too embarrassing unlike these I’m about to show. And yes, I had to go through the ends of the Internet to find them. So for your reading pleasure here are some undignified senior photos whose sitters would rather forget.

  1. “Say hello to my lizard friends.”
Sure they're not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they're not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.

Sure they’re not as cuddly as kittens and might cause salmonella. But hey, at least they’re not poisonous. Or as far as she knows.

2. Hey, I didn’t know that Hulk Hogan was in track and field.

Okay, it's not Hulk Hogan. It's just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it's unsightly.

Okay, it’s not Hulk Hogan. It’s just some blond track kid in a mullet from the 1980s. And yes, it’s unsightly.

3. A lot of student athletes try to put their game into their senior picture. Not sure what his sport is.

So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he's in that uses these things. Oh wait, he's in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.

So this kid has wrestling gear, a football, and a lacrosse stick. Would be very interested to see what kind of sport he’s in that uses these things. Oh wait, he’s in football, wrestling, and lacrosse.

4. Sometimes a football star has absolutely nothing to hide.

Well, he's in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.

Well, he’s in briefs, but still. Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out this was a senior portrait of Brett Favre. As we all know about his sexting scandal.

5. When it comes to hoops, this guy is willing to dunk it for the Elks.

Nevertheless, he's wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren't part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.

Nevertheless, he’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts that would be banned from the school dress code if they weren’t part of the school uniform. Also, part of his underwear is showing.

6. When he pitches, he throws a ball of fire.

Let's just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it's photoshop but still.

Let’s just say, any sane hitter would rather strike out than hit a flaming baseball. Sure it’s photoshop but still.

7. Seems like the guys from the water polo team are totally ripped.

I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don't think they're very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they're looking at each other.

I may not say this very often but I really hope these guys are wearing speedos. Also, I don’t think they’re very keen on picking up chicks as I see how they’re looking at each other.

8. She’s just a girl from the railroad tracks.

Who shouldn't be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn't she ever have a clue?

Who shouldn’t be posing for a picture there because a train could freaking hit and run her over at any second. Jesus, doesn’t she ever have a clue?

9. Even student athletes need their bath time.

Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he's in a tub that's way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he's wearing a speedo.

Yes, I know athletes sweat a lot. But I think he’s in a tub that’s way too small for him. Also, dear God, I hope he’s wearing a speedo.

10. Nothing makes a senior girl glow with pride than posing with her own hunting rifle.

And let's hope it's not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.

And let’s hope it’s not loaded for hunting season. Because she might ending up shooting the photographer by accident.

11. When riding a motorcycle to prom, always wear a helmet.

I'm sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he's rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.

I’m sure this kid is wearing a motorcycle helmet because he likes motorcycles. Or he’s rather self-conscious of his looks. Or both.

12. Seems like this cowpoke likes going for horsey rides.

Well, he's on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he's bound to inspire nightmares.

Well, he’s on a rocking horse in cowboy attire. Nevertheless, he’s bound to inspire nightmares.

13. Just a few more steps and he passes the high school finish line.

And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.

And the rainbow just shines on him. Also note the unicorn in the background. Still, totally photoshop.

14. Seems like he likes to hustle when he’s not playing ball.

And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.

And I thought Napoleon Dynamite was a wholesome nerd. Apparently, they were wrong.

15. “Hey girls, gather round, listen to what I’m putting down./Hey babe, I’m your handy man.”

"I'm not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I'm handy with love and I'm no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./ If your broken heart should need repair, then I'm the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they'll come running to me." Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.

“I’m not the kind to use a pencil or rule, I’m handy with love and I’m no fool,/I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can./
If your broken heart should need repair, then I’m the man to see./I whisper sweet things, you tell all your friends, they’ll come running to me.” Fixing 24 hours a day, by the way.

16. Couple pictures are also a rather common senior picture motif.

Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he's just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I've listened to too much Warren Zevon.

Heard the blonde kid took little Suzie to the Junior Prom. And he raped and killed her before taking her home. But he’s just an excitable boy they all say. And I think I’ve listened to too much Warren Zevon.

17. There are some kids who’d like nothing but sit and read in nature.

However, doing so with antique furniture doesn't seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.

However, doing so with antique furniture doesn’t seem to make sense to me. After all, have you heard of rain? Yes, this kid is very strange.

18. Guess this guy is going bananas.

Well, he's with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.

Well, he’s with a plush banana. Still, I think this guy might be losing touch with reality. Or is just desperate.

19. Kids these days, always into themselves.

And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.

And he has a picture of himself on his laptop screen. What a self-absorbed asshole.

20. “Hello, my cat can eat bread.”

Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.

Yes, this guy has a cat going through a slice of bread. And yes, he seems like he could give you the creeps.

21. “Oh, no, I got to go in there to save my rooster.”

Okay, it's a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he's not right in the head at the moment.

Okay, it’s a rooster statue that was probably an heirloom. But to him, it counts. I know he’s not right in the head at the moment.

22. “Come on baby, light my fire/Come on baby, light my fire/Try to set the night on fire”

Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.

Guess this kid was voted either Most Likely to Commit Arson or Most Likely to Blow Himself Up. Either way, he seems to like fire a lot which is disturbing.

23. Nothing initiates senior pride like having your picture with your prized gourd.

Now that's one of the biggest gourds I've ever seen. And this guy is like, "Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer."

Now that’s one of the biggest gourds I’ve ever seen. And this guy is like, “Prepare to be amazed by my gourd I fed with radioactive fertilizer.”

24. Nothing makes a senior portrait than a couple of mustaches.

Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you'd see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.

Are these seniors? Because they seem to look like a couple of guys you’d see either at a trailer park or a 1970s porn flick.

25. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Pumpkin Man.

And I sure hope that he's wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn't want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.

And I sure hope that he’s wearing a speedo before he got into that pumpkin. Yeah, I think this might traumatize some kids like Linus Van Pelt. No, you wouldn’t want to see the Great Pumpkin like this.

26. A senior football star bares all.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he's wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more if I find that he's actually 17.

You may not hear me say this often, but I hope he’s wearing a thong. Still, not a bad looking guy which disturbs me even more that I hope he’s 18.

27. Of course, a tough ginger always has to pose with his gun.

Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.

Is that an assault rifle? Seriously, I think there have been students who staged school shootings with this kind of weapon. Seriously, this is disturbing.

28. With this guy, it’s John Deere parking only.

So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.

So I guess this guy wants to be a centerfold for Country Farm Girl magazine. Not sure if that exists but I hope he gets a recommendation.

29. When this guy gets out of school, he’s gonna be working on a road crew.

Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I've ever seen. Guess he's a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.

Now that has to be one of the sluttiest PennDOT workers I’ve ever seen. Guess he’s a male stripper by night and performs at bachelorette parties as Rock Hard Rod.

30. When he touches the pigskin, it lights on fire.

That means he's probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can't play football.

That means he’s probably not a great football player. After all, if you touch the ball and it bursts into flames, you can’t play football.

31. Within this boy lies a large ferocious beast.

However, you wouldn't know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.

However, you wouldn’t know it if you looked at him. Appearances can be deceiving.

32. My, what small hands he has.

Okay, those are doll hands he's using. And let's face it, for a handsome guy like him, it's kind of creepy.

Okay, those are doll hands he’s using. And let’s face it, for a handsome guy like him, it’s kind of creepy.

33. “When I grow up, I want to be a welder before making a career change to a nightclub dancer.”

"What a feeling/Being's believing/I can have it all/Now I'm dancing for my life" Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.

“What a feeling/Being’s believing/I can have it all/Now I’m dancing for my life” Not sure if I want to see Flashdance. But I kind of should.

34. As he dresses in black and chains so does his chihuahua.

This would've made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.

This would’ve made a decent senior photo. But the image of a similarly dressed chihuahua makes it so hard to take it seriously.

35. “Okay, just a few more seconds.”

Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he's hot stuff doesn't he?

Apparently, the photographer was really pressed for time. So the picture had to be taken. Still, this boy thinks he’s hot stuff doesn’t he?

36. Of course, even future dominatrixes had to have attended high school.

She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o' nine tails. But the school wouldn't allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.

She wanted to do her senior picture with her cat o’ nine tails. But the school wouldn’t allow it due to their zero tolerance weapons policy.

37. “What? What’s wrong with bathing in furs and a tiara?”

Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it's weird. But who are we to judge.

Well, he seems dressed for his bath in all his finery. I know it’s weird. But who are we to judge.

38. This senior is feeling just ducky under the weather.

Wouldn't be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn't Ernie.

Wouldn’t be surprised if Ernie from Sesame Street had a senior picture like this. However, this isn’t Ernie.

39. When it comes to senior pictures, there are some guys who really know how to dress.

Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don't think it's a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.

Okay, seems like someone has been watching too much Boardwalk Empire. And I don’t think it’s a show high school kids should watch. Well, unless their class is studying the 1920s.

40. I guess this guy wants to be a firefighter to get on a calendar.

Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I'm not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.

Sure he might be a fine firefighter. However, I’m not sure if he has a chops to make it on the hot fireman calendar. A firefighter has to be exceptionally hot for that.

41. This guy seems pretty handy with picking up limbs.

However, he's certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they're not practical.

However, he’s certainly not dressed for it since his short shorts have pockets showing. And they’re not practical.

42. This football player knows how to get his game on fire.

Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it's fairly going overboard.

Not sure why there are photos like these. Yes, the flames are photoshopped. But it’s fairly going overboard.

43. You know they say, a dog is man’s best friend.

Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

Apparently, this pair has to have T-shirts of each other. Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

44. When it comes to video games, this guy is playing on top of his Game Boy Advance.

This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.

This has to be the early 2000s as I see it. Because even now these are fairly obsolete.

45. As we all know, jamming on guitars always looks cool.

Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn't look good.

Uh, is that guy getting strangled? Seriously, did these guys think this pose through? Because this doesn’t look good.

46. Sure she didn’t go to Hogwarts but she wanted her senior picture taken in Gryffindor garb.

Yes, she's more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.

Yes, she’s more obsessed Harry Potter than most people. And this is coming from a woman who dressed as Hermione Granger for Halloween in college.

47. A true warrior always has to have a horse.

Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that's just crazy. Seriously, that's insane.

Riding a horse is one thing. Riding on one in a toga with a sword, that’s just crazy. Seriously, that’s insane.

48. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this log for you.”

Don't worry, she's just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She's not going to kill anyone with it.

Don’t worry, she’s just using a chainsaw to cut logs. You know like yard work. She’s not going to kill anyone with it.

49. Once Vince is out of high school, he plans on joining the family business.

He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who's living in Arizona he hasn't seen in years.

He plans to be in waste management like his father before him. Of course, he does have an uncle who’s living in Arizona he hasn’t seen in years.

50. In her camo dress, this country girl holds her hunting rifle with pride.

I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It's ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.

I know there are plenty of hunters. But still, why pose with your gun? It’s ludicrous in my opinion. Seriously, they kill people.

51. This guy would dive anywhere for a buck.

And yes, he'd even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy's insane.

And yes, he’d even go to the bottom of a pool in his suit. Yes, I know this guy’s insane.

52. During a dark and stormy day, this senior is ready to rip.

Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn't help that he's wearing a White Castle tank top either.

Apparently, he was voted Most Likely to Stage a Chainsaw Massacre. Doesn’t help that he’s wearing a White Castle tank top either.

53. A guy like this is bound to set a woman’s heart on fire.

Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I've seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.

Maybe some women. But not me. Apparently, I’ve seen more ripped guys than that. Sorry.

54. In the morning, this young man takes his Life.

Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he'd rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.

Yes, his Life cereal with 2% milk. Apparently, he’d rather get his photo session over with at breakfast.

55. It’s not uncommon for seniors to have their photos with their cars. Not sure if it was a good idea for this guy.

I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy's ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.

I have a friend from high school who drove a rusty white van This guy’s ride make his lousy ride look like a luxury convertible.

56. For this senior, Monster energy drinks give him a boost.

Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they're very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don't drink these things.

Yes, I remember fellow classmates drinking energy drinks. However, they’re very bad for you since they contain tons of caffeine. Seriously, don’t drink these things.

57. Who says that real men don’t wear pink?

Sure there's no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.

Sure there’s no problem wearing pink. But that pink suit seems to make me think this guy will end up being either a pimp or a used car salesman.

58. When it comes to this guy, there’s nothing better than wearing a furry hat and listening to his toy tape recorder.

Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.

Hey, I had one of those tape recorders when I was a kid. Used to have a lot of fun with that. Still, this is freaky.

59. For this guy, his hustling tome is playing in the pool halls.

Yes, he's a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.

Yes, he’s a different kind of pool boy. Wants to be the Fast Eddie of his generation. Note what Fast Eddie lost in order to beat Minnesota Fats.

60. In couple’s portraits, some have more class than others.

Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I'm happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.

Sure they may love each other for now. But do you think we should glamorize teen pregnancy like this? Seriously, I’m happy that no one in my graduating class was pregnant by then. This is just so trashy.

61. For senior year, welcome to Senior Avenue.

And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.

And according to how this guy sees it, it sucks. Since you have to think about the future as well as all the other stuff.

62. Some guys seem to enjoy the finer things in life.

Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's still less gay than the one with the water polo players.

Yes, he might like frilly fans and parasols. But such preferences might make you question his sexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s still less gay than the one with the water polo players.

63. This track star wants you to see him race against a car.

I'm sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.

I’m sure the car will win as the track star will be run down to exhaustion. Hey, have to be honest here.

64. Sometimes all you need to lounge on a divan with a bottle.

Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.

Uh, is this kind of photo even legal? I mean the guy obviously has to be 17 or 18. And the US legal drinking age is 21.

65. There’s nothing that rings in senior year than sharing a drink with your dog.

Let's hope there's no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie?

Let’s hope there’s no alcohol in that wine glass. Also, why is his dog wearing a tie? And why does he have a monocle?

66. When he swings, his bat catches flames.

I don't think you'd want a burning bat. Because it's not a bat. It's a torch.

I don’t think you’d want a burning bat. Because it’s not a bat. It’s a torch.

67. By senior year, we should understand that warning labels exist for a reason.

For the love of God, kid, don't pull down the lever! It's high voltage and you'll get electrocuted.

For the love of God, kid, don’t pull down the lever! It’s high voltage and you’ll get electrocuted.

68. A high school senior like him is both armed and dangerous.

I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.

I think this kid was voted by his class as Most Likely to Stage a School Shooting. Seriously, kids have been killed at schools with these weapons. For the love of God, this is seriously disturbing.

69. How about a picture of a sexy organ grinder?

And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren't much better to pose with. Since they've fallen out of regular use for decades.

And they said that accordion players have a hard time getting dates. Organ grinders aren’t much better to pose with. Since they’ve fallen out of regular use for decades.

70. A man like him always has a bottle of Nivea on his mind.

So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.

So I guess this guy tends to have problems with dry skin after shaving. Explains a lot.

71. Nothing makes a more proud senior moment than sitting on an easy chair with a chainsaw on your lap.

Okay, I'm sure this kid is just into power tools. He'll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.

Okay, I’m sure this kid is just into power tools. He’ll probably never end up staging a chainsaw massacre. Even though he might be a prime suspect if such an event happens in his hometown.

72. Of course, you have one senior girl who’s proud to be a cheerleader.

Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn't a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn't seem appropriate for a senior picture.

Uh, maybe a jumping shot isn’t a good idea. Seriously, you can almost see her crotch. That doesn’t seem appropriate for a senior picture.

73. While some girls are on the cheerleading squad, others do other things to attract more fish in the sea.

In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net.

In her case, the fish in the sea are quite literal if you get my drip. And she does it with net. Guess her name is Downeaster Alexa and is the kind of girl who works with a rod and a reel. Okay, I listen to too much Billy Joel.

74. When it comes to reptiles, this guy likes his snakes.

Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it's because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.

Okay, this kid is freaky. Not sure if it’s because of the snake or his outfit. Or the eyeliner.

75. “Hey, want to go snorkeling with me?”

Apparently, he'd rather do it in a tuxedo. And I'm sure it's not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.

Apparently, he’d rather do it in a tuxedo. And I’m sure it’s not appropriate attire underwater as far as I know.

76. “I use antlers in all of my decorating.”

I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let's hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.

I guess this guy is an avid hunter. Let’s hope he is. Because seeing him with deer heads is giving me the creeps.

77. While Jesus walks on water, this guy does crunches on it.

Well, maybe he's crawling, not crunching. And I'm sure he's not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.

Well, maybe he’s crawling, not crunching. And I’m sure he’s not on water. Still, not sure how this picture makes any sense.

78. Seems like this boy is looking out from a well.

Hope he's careful and doesn't fall in there. But I'm sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don't want to be trapped in a well. You really don't.

Hope he’s careful and doesn’t fall in there. But I’m sure this guy is tempting fate. Because you don’t want to be trapped in a well. You really don’t.

79. A scenic shot is always optimal for a senior picture.

Apparently, they didn't get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, "rain."

Apparently, they didn’t get the memo that the country club would be running the sprinkler system that day. In my area, we have a kind of sprinkler system called, “rain.”

80. They always said she was a down home type.

However, she's had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I'm not sure if she's able to reach any of them.

However, she’s had to do some dusting below the pots and pans. And I’m not sure if she’s able to reach any of them.

81. This guy can never go without his own graphing calculator.

I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.

I suppose this kid is taking advanced math and science courses as well as aspires to be an engineer. So I guess his gadget is fairly essential to him. But why be photographed with it is the question.

82. Sometimes doing a handstand is as good idea on paper than in reality.

Yeah, I don't think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don't know much about break dancing.

Yeah, I don’t think she got the hang of it. Seems like a poorly executed break dance move. Then again, I don’t know much about break dancing.

83. Nothing is more tender than a photo of a senior and her dog.

Except her dog really isn't enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.

Except her dog really isn’t enjoying this photo op. As you can see by how it shows its fangs.

84. Nothing creates a better feel than a senior picture on the streets.

Uh, I don't think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.

Uh, I don’t think the kid lives there as you can tell by the clothes. Also, his shirt collar is all wrong.

85. Someday this senior wishes to drive a Mercedes Benz.

However, he's not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don't think he's ever going to drive a Mercedes.

However, he’s not too keen on showing his emotions as you can tell by the look on his face. Also, I don’t think he’s ever going to drive a Mercedes.

86. You know what they say about a guy who plays lacrosse.

Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he's wearing a speedo at this moment.

Seems like he put his helmet in a strategic area. Pray to God that he’s wearing a speedo at this moment.

87. There are always some people who never stop dreaming.

And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there's no way in hell you're going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.

And there are some people who should give up on their dreams. Seriously, Chad, there’s no way in hell you’re going to be a Chippendale without inflicting some serious bodily harm. Also, that mullet is terrible.

88. Steven always dresses sharp and is always on cue.

I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.

I guess Harold Hill was right. Maybe playing pool does lead boys down a very bad road.

89. In car photos, perhaps a face is best reflected from a side mirror.

However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.

However, this kid seems to look like he has no soul. Watch out for him.

90. In some senior photos, there are some who have no taste in fashion.

I don't know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?

I don’t know if this is from the 1980s or 1990s but it sure looks like it. Also, is his silver get up made of duct tape?

91. There is no picturesque scene than a waterfall.

However, I'm not sure about this one. And I hope he's wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That's disturbing.

However, I’m not sure about this one. And I hope he’s wearing something. Also, is he spreading his legs? That’s disturbing.

92. Introducing the legendary Kinex warrior.

Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn't one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.

Sure you can build a lot of cool stuff with Kinex. However, a wardrobe isn’t one of them. Nor is a warrior outfit either.

93. This guy always knows how to pack a punch.

However, I'm not sure whether he's punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn't seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?

However, I’m not sure whether he’s punching through glass or water. If glass, he doesn’t seem to have any injuries. Also, how is it possible he could punch through water?

94. Of course, let’s hope this kid doesn’t suffer from his rusty mail.

Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.

Still, piss him off and he might end up going medieval on you. Nevertheless, he probably plans to major in siege warfare before going on a Crusade.

95. Sometimes Michael has to bring on the style.

And I wouldn't be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV's Jersey Shore. Because that's a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.

And I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy ended up being cast on MTV’s Jersey Shore. Because that’s a horrible tan. Seriously, it seems like his dad is either John Boehner or an Ooompah-Loompah.

96. This girl might have a Pez addiction.

Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they're quite nasty.

Then again, she has a quite a collection of Pez dispensers. Which is mostly why people buy Pez anyway since they’re quite nasty.

97. This guy’s music is bound to set the night on fire.

However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don't work that way.

However, it makes you wonder what kind of explosives he put in his saxophone. Because saxes normally don’t work that way.

98. After graduation, this girl is Ivy League bound.

Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this girl has common sense. After all, getting your picture taken in the middle of traffic is not a good idea. Even children in preschool know that.

99. When it comes to hairstyles, some are beyond description.

Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat's nest on steroids.

Okay, this was probably from the 1980s. But still, it makes you think of a rat’s nest on steroids.

100. When it comes to pets, this guy really has it in for his cat.

So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.

So much so that his cat gets a cosmic image. Still, this is incredibly freaky as I see it.