Note: This post contains spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2, you shouldn’t be viewing this.

For some great beauty is a major asset. For others it’s a curse. And in the Hunger Games, this can’t be better illustrated both ways with Finnick Odair. His charm and irresistible good looks made him very popular in the Capitol and helped him gain the sponsors he needed to win his Hunger Games at the tender age of 14. However, after the victory celebrations were over, he developed a reputation as a womanizer who’s left a string of broken hearts at the Capitol. But in reality, President Snow was prostituting him to the highest bidder as well as threatened to kill someone he loved if he refused. So basically for him, “saving it till marriage,” was out of the question.Still, just when you think things can’t get any worse for him, he falls in love with a victor in from his home District 4 named Annie Cresta, who’s seen as mentally unstable but actually has PTSD. But in any case, they’re not supposed to be together as far as the Capitol is concerned. Yet, their love endured despite all odds.And it’s clear that Snow knew about their relationship since the two were reaped for the third Quarter Quell, yet Mags volunteers in Annie’s place in order to die on her own terms. Also, Snow had her arrested when he escaped from the arena with Katniss and Beetee during the Quarter Quell which leaves him devastated and a nervous wreck who could barely hold it together. And yes, Snow uses that as leverage against him. That is, until she’s rescued along with Peeta and Johanna from the Capitol. Once in District 13 together, they proceed to get married. But it’s not long until Finnick is called to serve on the “Star Squad” in the fight at the Capitol. Some guys just can’t get a break.

For an appropriate song parody here, I went with “One Day More” from Les Miserables. In the original, Marius and his buddies are about to start what is known as The June Rebellion which was a clash between middle class young men and the authorities during the 1830s. However, he also just got together with Cosette which puts him in a bind between sticking it to the man with his friends or spending more time with his girlfriend. Let’s just say he should’ve chosen the latter since the Rebellion in that musical was a disaster that resulted in all his friends getting killed. And if Jean Valjean weren’t there to save his ass on Cosette’s behalf, he would’ve joined them. In the Hunger Games version, I have Finnick conflicted between staying with his new wife or going to the Capitol. Yet, I have other characters singing parts in preparation for the Capitol invasion.

“One Day More” (Hunger Games Edition)

[Katniss]

One day more!

Another day, another destiny.

This never-ending road in agony;

As I agreed to be the Mockingjay

I’ll kill Snow with my bow one day.

One day more!

[Finnick]

I did not live until today.

How can I live when we are parted?

[Katniss]

One day more.

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

And yet with you, my world has started!

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own.

[Finnick & Annie]

Will we ever meet again?

[Johanna]

One more day with no one caring.

[Finnick & Annie]

I was born to be with you.

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known.

[Finnick & Annie]

And I swear I will be true!

[Johanna]

But my fighting isn’t there!

[Gale]

One more day before the storm!

[Finnick]

Do I follow where she goes?

[Gale]

At the barricades of freedom.

[Finnick]

Shall I join my brothers there?

[Gale]

When our ranks begin to form

[Finnick]

Do I stay; and do I dare?

[Gale]

Will you take your place with me?

[ALL]

The time is now, the day is here

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Coin]

One day more to revolution,

We will nip Snow in the bud!

And I’ll bomb kids in the Capitol,

So their hands will soak with blood!

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Beetee & Plutarch]

Drop these dirty bombs,

See them as they fall,

Rescuers will blow up

Down there in the Capitol,

Give a little blast

Nail them in the ass

Most of them are goners

So they won’t miss much!

[District 13 (2 Groups)]

[1:] One day to a new beginning

[2:] Raise the flag of freedom high!

[1:] Every man will be a king

[2:] Every man will be a king

[1:] There’s a new world for the winning

[2:] There’s a new world to be won

[ALL]

Do you hear the people sing?

[Finnick]

My place is here, I fight with you!

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Finnick & Annie]

I did not live until today.

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own!

[Finnick & Annie]

How can I live when we are parted?

[Coin(overlapping)]

I will send Katniss’s Peeta

He will follow where she goes

Once he’s close to her he’ll surely

Grip his hands around her throat.

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known!

[Finnick & Annie]

And yet with you my world has started

[Coin (overlapping)]

One more day to revolution

We will nip Snow in the bud

We’ll be ready for these rich snobs

[Betee and Plutarch (overlapping)]

Watch ’em run amok

Blow ’em as they fall

Never know your luck

When there’s a free-for-all!

[Katniss]

Tomorrow we’ll be far away,

Tomorrow is the judgement day

[ALL]

Tomorrow we’ll discover

What the great Capitol has in store!

One more dawn

One more day

One day more!

Note: This post may contain spoilers for those who haven’t read the books or haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2.

As many movies and books have a major epic battle in them, the Hunger Games is no exception. In Mockingjay, District 13 plans and stages an invasion of the Capitol in order to overthrow President Snow who by this point has a long list of terrible deeds in his wake. I’m not sure with all the details on this but I’ll try to set the scene. So President Alma Coin deploys  Katniss and her propo team and a unit called, “The Star Squad” to a seemingly trivial propaganda assignment in the Capitol. However, she has Peeta go along with them despite that he’s still dangerous, unpredictable, and not quite recovered from his hijacking. This leads Katniss to think that Coin wants her dead. Meanwhile, they think that the real invasion is underway and commanded by Paylor which is kind of true. But when it comes to modern warfare, sometimes you might never know where the war is coming to. Which is exactly what happens when Katniss an the Star Squad find themselves up against mutt beasts, armed peacekeepers, and booby trapped pods. Let’s just say it’s a scene of all out urban warfare on the Capitol streets. And it looks like Peeta might attack someone…

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For a song to parody this, I have “The Mob Song” in mind from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. The original has Gaston and the villagers assemble with their torches and pitchforks as well as head to the castle in order to kill the beast. Oh, and Gaston has Belle and Maurice put into a wagon headed for a loony bin but they manage to get out. Still, seeing the scene in the movie makes you understand why the Beast was being such a controlling jerk to Belle in the beginning. Because when it comes to getting a girlfriend in order to break a spell in his neck of the woods, he doesn’t really have a lot of options. For the Hunger Games version, I have Coin sending the Star Squad to the Capitol as the invasion is underway. But I have it end before people start getting killed.

“The Capitol Invasion Song”

[Coin:] The Capitol will make off with your children.

[Crowd:] {gasp}

[Coin:] And will force them to fight it to the death.

[Crowd:] Yes!

[Coin:] We’re not safe till his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill Snow!

[Crowd] Kill him!

[Man I:] We’re not safe until he’s dead

[Man II:] He’ll come stalking us at night

[Woman:] Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite

[Man III:] He’ll wreak havoc on our districts if we let him rule Panem

[Crowd:] So it’s time to take some action, boys

Coin: It’s time to follow me

Old Man Snow

In his city

Through the darkness and the shadows

It’s a nightmare but it’s one exciting ride

Say a prayer

Then we’re there

At the entrance of the Capitol

And there’s something truly terrible inside

He’s a beast

He’s insane

He’s a bastard

He’s sadistic

With a psychopathic streak

Smell his rose

See him roam

But we’re not coming home

‘Til he’s dead

Good and dead

Kill the Beast!

[Katniss:] Okay, but I want to kill Snow personally.

[Coin:] Fine, but go to the Capitol with the propo team and the Star Squad 451. And Peeta’s coming with you, too.

[Katniss:] How’s Peeta?

[Coin:] Well, they say he’s too unstable for combat but I can’t see how he’d be much trouble on a trivial assignment.

[Katniss:] Uhhh….okay.

[Coin:] We’ll rid the country of Snow. Who’s with me?

[Crowd:] I am! I am! I am!

Grab your guns

Get your weapons

[Katniss:] Get up aboard the hoverplane.

[Star Squad:] We’re counting on Boggs to lead the way

Through the streets

Through city

Where within a classy mansion

Something’s lurking that you don’t see ev’ry day

It’s Snow

Smells of blood and white roses

We won’t rest

‘Til he’s good and deceased

Sally forth

Tally ho

Grab your trident

Grab your bow

Praise the Lord and here we go!

[Boggs:] I have this Holo map that will help us avoid known booby trapped, “pods” on the Capitol’s streets.

[Katniss:] Oh, shit, Peeta’s getting out of control. What am I going to do?

[Gale:] Think of something and if that doesn’t work, I’ll kill him.

[Star Squad:] We don’t like

What we’ve understood

That he sure scares us

And this bastard is psychopathic at least

Bring your guns

Bring your knives

Save your children and your wives

We’ll save our country and our lives

We’ll kill the beast!

[Finnick:] I knew it! I knew it was foolish to bring Peeta along.

[Katniss:] Maybe it would have been better if he had never come at all. And I think he’s here because Coin wants me dead because she can’t control me anymore. But we need to help him.

[Peeta:] Can you please kill me now before I start seeing Katniss as mutt again?

[Katniss:] That’s not gonna happen. Besides, this seems like a safe neighborhood.

[Gale:] Encroachers!

[Finnick:] And they have mutts! No!

[Boggs:] Warn everyone! If it’s a fight they want, we’ll be ready for them! Who’s with me?

[Katniss:] Take whatever booty you can find. But remember, Snow is mine!

[Star Squad:] Hearts ablaze

Banners high

We go marching into battle

Unafraid although the danger just increased

Raise the flag

Sing the song

Here we come, we’re fifty strong

And fifty soldiers can’t be wrong

Let’s kill the beast!

Katniss and Peeta’s win at the Hunger Games made them instant celebrities as star-crossed lovers who’d rather die than be forced to kill each other. However, not everyone is happy about it, particularly Panem’s resident dictator President Coriolanus Snow. Unlike many people in the Capitol, Snow knows that Katniss was faking her romance for Peeta for the cameras and saw her idea of a nightlock suicide pact as an act of rebellion against the Capitol. And it doesn’t help that her actions inspired rebellions in several of the districts which leads Snow to determine that Katniss is trouble. So how does he deal with it? Well, for one, he has Seneca Crane put to death for letting both Katniss and Peeta win. Next, in the beginning of Catching Fire, he pays a visit to Katniss’s house in the Victor Village, tells her of the situation, and threatens to harm her loved ones if she doesn’t help defuse the arrest by agreeing to keep up her fake romance with Peeta. She agrees and so does Peeta when she tells him about it so they keep up the ruse. However, as public wedding plans and the Victory Tour are underway, Katniss inadvertently fuels the rebellion in every district she goes with her mockingjay pin becoming its symbol. You can surmise that the growing rebellion is now out of Katniss’s control and that her efforts to defuse it are doomed to fail. Now Snow also has a problem on his hands with Katniss because he can’t just have her executed because her Hunger Games victor status would make her a martyr. Nor could he really have her alive. Fortunately, for him, the the third Quarter Quell is around the corner and Katniss is District 12’s only female victor so….

For a good parody on Snow’s deciding that Katniss must be eliminated, I went with the song, “This Jesus Must Die” from Jesus Christ Superstar. In the original version, the Jewish chief priests at the Temple of Jerusalem are worried about Jesus’s popularity among his followers in the city. To them, Jesus was a rabble rouser who needed to be stopped who not only hurts their influence but if he or his followers lead or inspire some insurrection. And historically, they had reason to worry about Jewish insurrections because the chief priests only existed at the mercy of the Roman Empire and they knew it. One major Jewish insurrection and the Sadducees would be history. This was exactly what happened in 70 A.D. when the Temple was destroyed, but Jesus was already risen by then so he had very little to do with it. In the Hunger Games version, I have Snow and his advisers discussing what to do with Katniss Everdeen who’s inspiring rebellions all over Panem. And yes, Snow knows she must be eliminated, but he doesn’t know how to do so at this point.

“This Katniss Must Die”

Peacekeeper: Good President, the city waits for you
The Capitol and Peacekeepers are here for you

Snow: Ah, all of you, you know why we are here
We’ve not much time and quite a problem here

Crowd on screen: Hosanna! Mockingjay!

Antonius: Listen to that howling mob of blockheads in the street!
A signal with her fingers and District 11’s on its feet

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar
Tell us that you’re who we say you are

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: The victors are in on tour right now to whip us some support

Lucia: A rabble rousing mission that I think we must abort

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar!

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: Look President, they’re out in District 2.

Lucia: Quick, President, go take her off at once

Snow: No, wait – we need a more permanent solution to our problem

Antonius: What then to do about Katniss Everdeen
Girl’s who’s on fire, hero of fools?

Lucia: More riots, more dresses, more fighting and Peeta

Snow: One thing I’ll say for her: Katniss is cool

Antonius: We dare not leave her to her own devices

Her half-witted fans will get out of control

Lucia: But how can we stop her? Her glamour increases
By leaps every minute; she’s top of the poll

Snow: I see bad things arising: they’ll start to rebel
And overthrow me at hand
I see blood and destruction, our elimination
Because of one girl
Blood and destruction because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one girl

Snow: Our elimination because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one
Cause of one, cause of one girl

Lucia: What then to do about this Katnissmania?

Antonius: How do we deal with the coal miner’s kid?

Lucia: Where do we start with a girl who’s on fire
Or her star-crossed lover the boy with the bread?

Snow: Fools! You have no perception!
The stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high!
We must crush her completely
So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die
For the sake of the nation, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must die

Snow: So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must
Katniss must, Katniss must die

Note: This post might contain spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the films up to Mockingjay Part 2, then you shouldn’t be viewing this. Because it might ruin the whole thing for you.

During the course of Mockingjay, while Katniss becomes a symbol of a revolution, she has plenty of psychological baggage catching up to her. Now Katniss wasn’t altogether there in the beginning since she lost her father at 11 years old and was too busy trying to support her family through poaching to grow up as a fully functioning human being. After she and Peeta win the Hunger Games, she’s already suffering with PTSD by Catching Fire and is forced to keep chugging as other characters decide that she’s too important to whatever is going on to be allowed to recover from shell shock. This gets exacerbated at every given opportunity whether it be the Quarter Quell or the rebellion. And boy, does she suffer since she has to deal with things like friends dying, her hometown bombed, war and destruction, getting wounded, Peeta’s hijacking, betrayal, and so much more.

For a parody on this state, I decided to use “Jean Valjean’s Soliloquy” from Les Miserables (it’s a great musical, I know). Now in the original Jean Valjean struggles with his worldview and how the bishop he robbed is the first person who’s ever been kind to him since he’s been on parole for stealing a loaf of bread. This even to the point when the bishop forgives him for stealing his silver. This leads him to take another path of life and break his parole. In the Hunger Games version, I had it set up at Snow’s scheduled execution after Snow tells Katniss that he didn’t bomb the Capitol in an attack that  killed children and her sister Prim (when it really looked like it). Why? Because the Capitol didn’t have the bombs to conduct such an attack at that scale. And that he’d have no reason to kill Capitol civilians other than as collateral damage. Not to mention, Katniss is seeing how evil Coin truly is since she tried to get her killed and wanted another Hunger Games with Capitol children. This leaves Katniss to snap and kill Coin.

“Katniss’s Soliloquy”

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

What have they done?

Sweet Jesus, what have they done?

Bombed the Capitol at night,

Blew up a bunch of children

Have they fallen so far,

And is the hour so late

That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,

The cries in the dark that nobody hears,

Here is where I stand at the ruined city here?

Was there another way to go

That didn’t lead to so many to go

My life was a war that could never be won

They made me a symbol of their revolution

But Coin wanted power and wanted me dead

For seeing me as a personal threat

Yet, how can I even forget

How that explosion killed my Prim?

An innocent like any other

She harmed no one

Nor one or another

She was girl who inspired love

Why did she die?

The girl I’ve volunteered to protect

Is now gone because I’ve tried

Take an eye for an eye!

Turn your heart into stone!

This is all they have lived for!

This is all they have known!

Always thought the evil to behold

Was only locked inside the Capitol

But Prim’s death was by the rebels

I feel my pain inside me like a knife

How could I side with such a soul,

Did I even know?

Why she wanted to take my life?

Was there another way to go?

I am reaching for my bow

And the crowd is closing in

As I stare at Alma Coin

And her vileness within

Not sure if I can kill Snow now

See my arrow pointing up

I just saw my sister die

And Coin I can’t forgive!

Note: This post might contain spoilers for those who haven’t read the books or seen the films up to Mockingjay Part 1.

Despite being the main character and the hero of the Hunger Games trilogy, I didn’t have a lot of song parodies for Katniss Everdeen. Perhaps it’s because it’s easier to do parodies for other characters singing about her. Maybe it’s due that Katniss’s story while momentous isn’t really fun by her perspective. I mean she started out as a dirt poor girl from District 12 who volunteered as a tribute for hers sister. Once she won the Hunger Games with Peeta via threatening suicide, she becomes an instant celebrity and an icon that inspires revolts in several districts. And sometime later, she’s made to take part in the Hunger Games again since the 3rd Quarter Quell is an all star edition year. Luckily she escapes to District 13 with some victors. And in the third book, she’s asked to become the Mockingjay symbol of the rebellion (and has little choice whether to accept). Nevertheless, Katniss’s life has changed so much that she’s now unsure who she is anymore.

For a parody on her state of mind at this point, I think “Who Am I?” from Les Miserables might be appropriate. Now the original has Jean Valjean thinking about whether to turn himself in to the court during a trial for a guy who’s identified as him. At this point in the story Jean Valjean is a successful factory owner and mayor of a small French town as well as a changed man. In this song he struggles between abandoning his responsibilities or violating his conscience. However, I think the trial was a scheme by Javert who automatically recognized him when he saved a guy under a cart. Now in the Hunger Games version, I have Katniss singing on whether she should be the Mockingjay and whether she is the same girl she used to be.

“Who Am I?”

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

She wants me as a tool

Should I be the Mockingjay?

Should I accept her offer

Or should I try to get away?

How is my Peeta now?

Should I try to save his life?

Will she agree to my terms

Or will she put him on the knife?

If I consent, I am a tool.

If I turn her down, I am damned!

I can give victors immunity from sentence.

And Peeta’s not free.

How can I abandon them?

How would they live

If I don’t agree?

If I agree, they may be saved

If I turn her down, I am damned!

Who am I?

My name is Katniss Everdeen

I live in District 12 and am 17

I won and was in the Hunger Games

But this year I broke out and escaped

Who am I?

The Capitol despised me for evermore

But can I ever be the girl I was before?

And must I now a symbol be

As a Panem revolutionary?

Must they die?

How can I ever face my fellow men?

How can I ever be myself again?

And how is Peeta, I don’t know

And how he’s doing under Snow?

He gave me hope when hope was gone

He gave me strength to carry on

Who am I? Who am I?

I am the Mockingjay!

And so Coin, you see it’s true

I’ll be your Jay and try to work with you!

Who am I?

Katniss Everdeen!

Poor, poor Haymitch. Now this guy can’t catch a break. I mean the guy has been through so much shit in his life that his drinking problem is completely understandable. At 15, he was reaped for the 2nd Quarter Quell where he had 47 to 1 odds as well as killed fellow tributes as well as witnessed some of their deaths. Luckily he won, but his way of winning inflamed Snow so much that he had Haymitch’s mother, brother, and girlfriend killed 2 weeks after his victory. And to make matters worst, prior to the first book, Haymitch had to mentor District 12 tributes for practically all his late teens and his adult life. And before Katniss and Peeta burst onto the scene, no tribute under Haymitch’s care has survived the Hunger Games. Considering this is the Hunger Games, it’s probably safe to say that these 46 tributes died through no fault of his own. I mean it’s a fight to the death for God’s sake.

Now I thought parodying “Holding Out for a Hero” would make a great song for Haymitch who really needs something to be happy about. The original song is from Footloose, expressing longing for a hero. It’s probably romantic in nature and usually addresses a guy. In the Hunger Games version, it’s Haymitch singing to Katniss and Peeta on how he really needs a break in his life.

“Holding Out for a Hero” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Haymitch Abernathy

Why have all my tributes gone

And why they went like sods?

Where’s my street-wise protégé

To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t anyone from 12 who’s a very savvy teen?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life

As the Games approaches

While I try to do my best

So I won’t have to watch both of you

Having a weapon lodged in your chest

Trapped in the arena and up against Careers

It’s gonna take some miracle to get you out of there

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life

Out in the arena there’s every danger above

When everything’s working against you

I will be following the Games at some place

Watching you

Get out of the Cornucopia fight ASAP

For it’s a quick way to die

If you want my advice

Just try to stay out alive

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life

Now as you know, the Hunger Games is about a televised teenage fight to the death. And for many of the districts, it’s a punishment they’re forced to watch. But for the Capitol, it’s simply high quality entertainment with action, thrills, and drama. Kind of like a reality show if you like to view it that way, albeit a very lethal one. Of course, I couldn’t do Hunger Games musical parodies without including the Hunger Games Master of Ceremonies himself, Caesar Flickerman. Now he’s basically the epitome of every daytime talk show host complete with his ever dazzling white teeth. No one knows how old he is but it’s pretty clear he’s fairly up there thanks to the Capitol trend of plastic surgery. He’s also known for changing his hair color every year for the Games as well. In the first book, his hair is blue. In the second, it’s lavender. Not to mention, he also interviews the tributes as well and tries to calm their public speaking fears so they don’t lose sponsors.

For his obnoxious personality, I decided to go with “Cabaret” from the eponymous musical. Now this song is played near the end, where everything is basically going to shit. I mean the two leads break up and it’s imminent that Germany is changing for the worse (I mean it takes place in the early 1930s so what do you expect?). For the Hunger Games version, I have Caesar Flickerman talk about how he interviews tributes and how the Capitol views them as a festive occasion. Yes, it’s rather disturbing but c’mon, the Capitol’s views on the Hunger Games are, for God’s sake. Also, Caesar Flickerman needs his own song.

“Come See the Hunger Games”

Sung by Caesar Flickerman

Claudius Templesmith:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls

Welcome to the 74^th Hunger Games

And now, once again, Caesar Flickerman

Caesar Flickerman:

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games.

Put down that knittin’, the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games.

Come see the tributes, come see the parade

Come see the slaughter, start celebratin’

Right this way, the arena’s watin’

No use permittin’ a prophet of doom

Wipe every smile away, yes

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games!

I am your dear emcee known as Caesar

I’ve dyed my hair a different color each year

I try to keep my interviews without a somber

So tributes won’t flub and lose their sponsors

Of course, I try to give each one a chance of winning

Despite nearly half are slaughtered at the beginning

But what’s in the arena is such a sight to see

That you never know which tribute leaves

I wonder who will come out of there this year

But perhaps we must begin the Games from here

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Come see the Hunger Games

Put down that knittin’, the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

So come see the Hunger Games.

And as for me,

As for me,

I’m going to meet these young teens

And hope to set their minds at ease

Start by admitting go cradle to tomb

Isn’t that a longer stay

What good is sittin’ alone in your room

Come see some poor teens slay, yes

Come see the Hunger Games, old chum

It’s only the Hunger Games, old chum

And I love the Hunger Games!

Yes, come see the Hunger Games, old chum

Only the Hunger Games, old chum

So come see the Hunger Games

Now as in any great musical, you’d have to have a romantic angle. Of course, in the Hunger Games, Katniss doesn’t seem to have much choice in her love life. In fact, if she wanted it, she wouldn’t want to marry and have kids mostly because she doesn’t want to see anyone she loves reaped for the Hunger Games when they’re teenagers. And that did happen to her little sister Prim which is why she volunteered as a tribute. However, Peeta confesses his love for her on national television in order to save her life and under Haymitch’s approval. So this leads to Katniss having to pretend to be in love with him even though they haven’t really interacted much save for the time when he gave her bread and that she’s not sure of her feelings. Not to mention, she thinks Peeta is faking it as well and it doesn’t take until the end when she realizes he wasn’t. In fact, he thought she actually liked him, especially when she was willing to spare his life when she came up with the idea of a joint suicide. And at the end of the first book he’s naturally heartbroken. However, in Catching Fire, Katniss and Peeta now have to fake their romance again for the cameras as well as get married. And they willfully go along with it. Nevertheless, while Peeta certainly loves Katniss and knows it, it’s becomes increasingly apparent that Katniss might actually love Peeta and may not realize it until it’s too late.

Now for the song explaining Katniss’s feelings, I used “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar. The original depicts Mary Magdalene sorting out her feelings for Jesus, a man who while friendly to her, probably has bigger things on his mind like his impending death. So let’s just say Jesus basically has absolutely no time for an intimate relationship at the moment. But that doesn’t mean Mary Magdalene could have romantic feelings for him even if they don’t go reciprocated. In the Hunger Games version, Katniss has spent considerable time with Peeta to the point she basically had a tough time sleeping without him holding her in his arms. Now if that doesn’t give me indication that she’s clearly interested in him, I don’t know what does. However, she’s not the kind of person who’s aware of her own feelings since she spent so much time hunting and providing for her family. Nevertheless, this song fits and I didn’t change the words much.

“I Don’t Know How to Love Him” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

I don’t know how to love him,

What to do, how to move him.

I’ve been changed, yes, really changed.

In these past few months when I’ve seen myself

I seem like someone else.

I don’t know how to take this

I don’t see why he moves me.

I’m a fraud, I’m just a fraud.

And I’ve sworn off men before.

But now I’ve broke his heart

I’m not so sure.

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?

Should I speak of love – let my feelings out?

I never thought I’d come to this – what’s it all about?

Don’t you think it’s rather funny

I should be in this position?

I’m the one who’s always been

So calm, so cool, no lover’s fool

Surviving on my own.

He scares me so.

I never thought I’d come to this – what’s it all about

Yet, now he’s said he loves me

I am lost, I am frightened.

I can’t cope, I just can’t cope.

I’ve turned my head, I’ve backed away,

Not sure I’d want to know –

He scares me so.

I want him so.

I love him so.

Of course, I couldn’t do a Hunger Games parody without including Gale Hawthorne. As you probably know Gale is Katniss’s childhood friend and hunting partner. As I said before, Katniss just views him more as a big brother/rebound guy but he’s quite handsome as you can see since he’s played by a Hemsworth. And he doesn’t really do much in the first two books besides poaching to help his family, getting brutally whipped, kissing Katniss, and saving 10% of District 12’s population during the bombings. And in Mockingjay, he distinguishes himself as a badass and intelligent military commander and soldier. However, unlike Katniss and Peeta, Gale has had no experience with direct violence prior to the Second Rebellion, nor has he been forced to kill other people or knows that everyone in the Capitol isn’t a monster. And the fact his hunting instincts lead to him depersonalize people. His impulse to rebel is driven by his hatred for the Capitol and the Hunger Games as well as his desire for revenge and victory at whatever the costs. Now Katniss and he may be similar in personality. But Katniss wonders whether Gale is going too far, particularly when he and Beetee create a bomb that plays on human sympathies by exploding and killing the rescuers. And it’s one of a few moments that drives him and Katniss apart.

Perhaps a good parody I thought for Gale would be ripping off from Les Miserables with “Stars.” Now the original is sung by Javert and basically sums up his philosophy that he is doing the Lord’s work by futile pursuit of Jean Valjean. And he vows that he won’t rest until Jean Valjean whom he thinks is damned for violating parole and stealing bread despite that most cops would have bigger things to worry about. I mean the guy really should be focused on catching other criminals. In the Hunger Games version, I have Gale swear to not stop with the rebellion until there’s victory when President Snow is as good as dead. Nevertheless, it’s a beautiful song despite Russell Crowe ruining it in the movie.

“Stars” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Gale Hawthorne

There, out in the Capitol

A man with a white rose

Smelling of blood

Fallen from grace

All be my witness

I never shall yield

Till we come face to face

Till we come face to face

He knows his way in the dark

Mine is the way of the war

And if we shall win this at whatever the costs

We’ll have our reward

And if some fall

Like District 12 fell

It’s not

Our fault!

Stars

In your multitudes

Scarce to be counted

Filling the darkness

With order and light

You are the sentinels

Silent and sure

Keeping watch in the night

Keeping watch in the night

You know your place in the sky

You hold your course and your aim

And each in your season

Returns and returns

And is always the same

And if you fall as District 12 fell

You fall in flame!

And so it must be for so it is written

I’ll say down with the Capitol

And those who stand within our bombs

Must pay the price!

Now let me find him

That I may see him

Deader than dead

I will never rest

Till then

This I swear

This I swear by the stars!

Note: Since this pertains to District 13, there might be spoilers for those who haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 1 or read the books. Just to warn you.

As I’ve said before District 13 was once thought to be destroyed prior to Mockingjay but managed to survive and move underground due to the doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction. Or in other words, “if you nuke us, we nuke you” kind of thing that might bring upon an apocalypse of sorts. Nevertheless, District 13 specializes in nuclear technology, graphite, and weapons. And while it’s a center of rebellion and refuge as well as extremely welcoming to almost anyone, it’s not a fun place to live. Unfortunately for Katniss and anyone who’s survived the District 12 bombing (which was less than 900 of its residents), they don’t have anywhere else to go. Still, living there is like being on an underground military base, but way less fun and far more restrictive. Yet, on the bright side, they have free education up to 8th grade and all refugees can become citizens. But as far as the good stuff goes. When citizens wake up, they’re given a temporary tattoo for their personalized schedule for the day they must abide and must wear tracking bracelets on wrists. They’re also thrifty and ration food carefully that even a small thing wasted is heavily frowned upon and even minor theft can be punished by detention and/or torture. Oh, and everyone wears the same gray uniforms and sleeps in identical living quarters. Not to mention, it requires everyone to train for the military from age 14 on and everyone is addressed as “Soldier.” And they don’t allow pets either.

For a good parody on life in District 13 would be to rip off from “Knights of the Round Table” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Now the original was about how Camelot was such a great but silly place to live where they do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable. Living in District 13 is nothing of the sort and I can tell they don’t eat ham and jam and spam a lot. Because they would be punished for it. But I think it would be funny to describe the miserable life of District 13 than in an upbeat and funny song. Because let’s just say their lives are so regimented and dull that they need something to entertain themselves.

“District 13’s People”

Sung by District 13

Katniss: Thirteen.

Finnick: Thirteen.

Haymitch: Thirteen.

Beetee: It’s only a model.

Plutarch: Victors, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to District 13.

District 13:

We’re District 13’s people

We work when e’er we’re able

We’ve strict routines, no chorus scenes

With tracking impeccable

We dine well here in 13

We eat our meals rationed carefully

We’re District 13’s people

Our force is so formidable

Though many times we get assigns

That are quite unbearable

We’re welcoming in 13

We’re really big fans of refugees

In war we’re tough and able

Quite indefatigable

We’re not so heft with waste and theft

And torture the uncontrollable

It’s a busy life in 13

I have to clean up the latrine

Katniss: Well, on second thought,

Let’s not go to 13, it is a silly place.

Gale: Sorry, but there’s no District 12 left.