Later that night, two figures emerge from a distance consisting of a young girl named Finn and an old woman named Erewhon who bring the Baudelaires food and ask them not to tell Ishmael. Because they already keep so many secrets from one another like teaching each other how to do things without their Dear Leader having any idea. Guess they don’t mind him sitting all day in a tent with his feet covered in clay. But why do these two want the kids to keep mum this time? Because they’re planning a mutiny seeing Ishamel as the root of their troubles that they’ve put up with for far too long. So they’re devising to put him and his supporters on the outrigger on Decision Day. And they let the children know since Ishmael had them abandoned. But since they’ve only been on the island for a few days, they’re not sure what side they should be on. So Finn and Erewhon decide to bargain with the Baudelaires by promising that they’ll get Kit somewhere safe while the kids fetch weapons from the arboretum. The children agree despite Kit’s protests.

For Erewhon and Finn, I decided to go with a surf song such as the Beach Boys’ “Help Me, Rhonda” in which a guy asks a girl to be with him so he can get over his ex who cheated on him. Though it’s an upbeat 1960s surf melody since you can’t really have sad surf songs. In this version, I have Erewhon and Finn try to convince the Baudelaires to help them stage a mutiny.

“Help Us, Children”

Sung by Finn and Erewhon

Finn:
We brought you some food so promise not to tell Ishmael
We keep many secrets from him, but now we’d like to give him hell

Well, Ishmael he’s such a turd (such a turd)
So swear you won’t leak out any word
So you please help us children
Help us commit our own mutiny

Help us children
Help, help us children
Help me children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children yeah
Aid us in our mutiny

Erewhon:
Ishmael’s the root of our strife
We want him off the island
Can you please help us get some weapons?
And go help with our plans

We’ll get Kit to someplace safe (someplace safe)
Do Ishmael will be out on Decision Day
So you please help us children
Help us commit our own mutiny

Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children yeah
Aid us in our mutiny

Both:
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help me children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children
Help, help us children
Help us children yeah
Aid us in our mutiny