A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Cool”


Since Fiona has her brother back and is beyond reasoning with while Sunny’s life depends on getting back to the Queequeg, the Baudelaires give in as the hook-handed Fernald leads the way. Getting back to the submarine won’t be easy since they got to get back through the way they came to the brig. Since Baudelaire kids aren’t in the most rational shape due to Sunny’s deteriorating condition, the Hook-Handed Man insists that they lay low and remain calm. As for the scheme, it basically involves the Baudelaires escaping from behind pillars while Fernald and Fiona provide a distraction for Esme and Carmelita. For the rowers don’t really care what goes past them anyway.


The song I selected for this is “Cool” from West Side Story in which either Riff or Ice tell the Jets gang members to keep it cool and they will be fine. In this version, Fernald is telling the Baudelaires the same thing despite that they’re nearing panic mode over their baby sister in the poison mushroom laden diving helmet.


“Cool” (ASOUE Version)

Sung by Fernald, the Hook-Handed Man

Kids, kids, crazy kids,
Get cool, kids.
Got a rocket
In your pocket,
Keep coolly cool, kids.

Don’t get hot,
‘Cause man, you got
Some high times ahead.
Take it slow,
And Daddy-o,
You can live it up and die in bed.

Kids, kids, crazy kids,
Stay loose, kids.
Breeze it, buzz it,
Easy does it,
Turn off the juice, kids.

Go, man, go,
But not like a yoyo schoolkid.
Just play it cool, kids,
Real cool

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