A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Musical – “Sweet Theatric”


The morning after Count Olaf treats the Baudelaires to a breakfast of oatmeal and raspberries. Strangely, he’s act super nice to them, which means he’s up to something. Of course, he talked about how Mr. Poe blabbed to him that the kids aren’t adjusting well to their new home, obviously. So he tells the kids that he’s planning to include them in a new theatrical production as a way to bond with him. However, the play is titled “The Marvelous Marriage” where he plays the groom, Justice Strauss plays the judge, and Violet plays the bride. Immediately, the Baudelaires have red flags going into overdrive and start suspecting the worst. Because they know the guy’s after their family assets and don’t think this “Marvelous Marriage” is just a play.


For a song, I thought the Rocky Horror Picture Show song, “Sweet Transvestite” would fit well. The original version is the villain song of Dr. Frank N. Furter who’s a mad scientist and alien transvestite who’s creating a living muscle man in his lab. In here he welcomes an engaged couple to stay at his haunted castle for the night, which will be more than they bargained for. In the ASOUE version, Olaf is merely talking about his sick plans for the Baudelaires which they want no part in.


“Sweet Theatric”

Count Olaf:
How do you do, care for a
Bowl of hot oatmeal
Think it’s poisoned? I’ll take a bite to prove it’s not toxic
Seems like I’ve acted like a total heel

Mr. Poe called about your little chat
Said you weren’t doing well with your new father
Sorry for my snap since I’ve been quite busy
But I’ve got a play we can bond for

It’s just a sweet theatric
Written for your participation

It’s in two acts, can you work with that?
It’s called The Marvelous Marriage
I’ll be the bridegroom, Justice Strauss will be a judge, too
While Violet will be the blushing bride on the stage

How about I stick to the sets? It’s what I’d do best.
Cause I’m not much of an actress


Father, I’d hate to disgrace your name, if I put you to shame
I might sure cause an outrage

Count Olaf:
Build the set? Heaven’s no. My sweet Violet
A pretty girl shouldn’t be there
A long white dress, will suit you best
With a veil over your hair

It’s just a sweet theatric
Written for your participation

Please don’t protest. Or hinder its success.
But understand I’m your dad now
So you can act on your accord or I can use force
So might as well as comply and kowtow

It’s just a sweet theatric
Written for your participation

It’s just a sweet theatric
Written for your participation

Is it just me or do you feel that this shit just got real?
That this isn’t a presentation

If you want to ask, he’s after our cash
So let’s go to Strauss’s and consult her law books.


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